Kylie on Ellie Starting Kindergarten, Welcoming LeBron to Philly & Shutting Down Pregnancy Rumors | Ep. 75

"And what better buddy than a turtle?" We have four kids. Stop trying to get me to have more. Sometimes, all Andrea baskets are heavy. And again, we get into the whole, like, bicep curl situation, yum. How many times can I say yum, thinking about my husband doing chores? He might be the stone cold killer we're looking for. Not gonna lie. I'm pretty excited about this six or season. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) Let's get this podcast started. (upbeat music) Welcome back to a special solo episode of Not Gonna Lie, a wave original brought to you by Allstate. A lot of the real ones in the comments of our Backstreet Boys episode said it was gonna be tough to follow them. And honestly, yes. So we said, fuck it. You get nobody this week. You're stuck with just me and whatever creatures come through that door. So excited. That's right, I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey. It's officially our third NFL training camp where Jason is no longer playing. And that's lovely. It really is because it means that he doesn't have to move out. I really like having my husband with me. And also he's not going head to head with other, let's say, 250, 300 pound men on a daily basis. I'm also an enjoyer of ferrets, but not mice. I wanna emphasize that. Not mice. Yuck, you know. If the PSPCI does have mice for adoption, they're not actually invited. It turns out we have plenty here because we don't have a cat. And I'm a big fan of the newest member of the Philadelphia 76ers. I mean, who isn't? It's LeBron James. Or should I say, oh, thank you. Nailed it, I think you've been Emma. I'm excited about this. I, we've been waiting. We've been waiting for quite some time. I'm feeling pretty good about the six or season. Now, yes, that feels better. We found out while we were at the shore. And after it was announced, I'm not exaggerating. Maybe two hours later, if you've ever been to the, if you've never been to the Jersey shore, one of the things that is a staple is the banner planes that fly across the coast. This banner in particular said welcome, king number 23. Here's how I look at this. LeBron is a goat, right? He is one of the best to ever do it, if not the best to ever do it. And ultimately, him coming to Philadelphia feels to me like he's saying this is a really good chance to win. Now, I'm saying it in a slightly non-committal way because I'm superstitious and I refuse to be the reason. You know what I mean? But here's the other side to look at that. He is so knowledgeable about the game. Opponents he's had, guys he's played with, guys he's played against for him to look at Philadelphia and think that. I'm not gonna say I feel really good about it, but I like our odds. Very thrilled about it. So I would like to welcome the James family in Philadelphia. If you guys need any recommendations, I got you. Mrs. James, Savannah, we would like to officially invite you on to NGO. Don't be silly, guys, we've done it before. But this time we could do it in person, in Philly. Maybe we could get some good Philly staples. I'll bring you a stock's pound cake. Maybe some Angelo's pizza and a cheese steak, but I'm so excited to have you guys here and the Philly area welcomes you with excited and open arms and go sexers. Hell yeah. All right, that's it for the Philly LeBron talk for now. Can't promise it won't come up again. Coming up on today's episode, it's solo. Is it a spectacular? It's a solo spectacular, as Queen Emma said. Queen Emma cannot help herself. Queen Emma thinks it's a solo spectacular, which means we loaded up on questions from the real ones about everything. We got what my kids think I do for a living. Oh no, top five things that can suck my ass and advice I'm definitely not qualified to give because you shouldn't ask for my advice really. Most times I should not give advice. I'm also gonna talk about how fucked up it is that I just got off the emotional roller coaster of why it going to kindergarten and now I'm about to do it all over again with Elliot. Mm-hmm, thrilled. I'm thrilled. I'm so excited to do that again. Plus, I'm gonna be joined by more adoptable animals right here in the studio and I have no idea what kind because Queen Emma wouldn't tell me. I know we said we were gonna do this segment monthly but then we said why the fuck not. But before we get to all that, I wanted to start the show with some real one comments of the week. But these comments are actually more deserving of a, you know what's fucked up? One more second, my orthodox is calling. Hello? Hi, Megan, I'm okay, how are you? I'm so sorry. Yep. Every night. Okay, bye. They're great, I love them. I lost my retainers. That's my favorite podcast interruption. I think we've ever had this. You know what's fucked up? Oh, hey, that's right, it's one more of the bonus. (laughing) Hold on, I'm 34 years old, it's my orthodox. Hey, you know what's fucked up? Commenting on women's bodies. That's it, that's the whole thought. But specifically commenting on the possibility of a pregnancy. And I don't know how many times we have to go over this. We've done it on TikTok. We've done it here on the show. And therefore, we've done it on Instagram. And I think all other social media platforms, let's dive in. And I would just like to point out this is one of the many reasons why I do not read comments. I had no idea this was happening. (laughing) I had no idea. I mean, ignorance is blessed, guys. There were a few of these comments left on the photos from my parish trip. So I guess people need a reminder. The first comment says at NGO with Kylie, is it the dress? Or is that a little baby bump? Ooh. Nope, don't worry, it gets worse. The next comment said, I see a baby bump. That was confident. Confidence, okay? The next one says, she's pregnant with four question marks. First of all, "Hey, oh no." I have four children, four. Four, if you're confused, I have four. I have so many kids that over the last week, I've had three different people forget that I had four kids and thought I had three, okay? I have so many kids that ones getting forgotten somewhere along the way, okay? People are like, how? Didn't you just have Wyatt? I'm like, thanks for saying that. Then I had three more. I have four children. We have four kids, stop trying to get me to have more, stop it. That's between me, my husband, and my motherfucking uterus, second of all, second. Yep, you thought I was gonna be done. No, I'm not. Here's the thing, when your body stretches out to accommodate growing a human being, it's not necessarily going to go back to the way it was. Even more so, I have organs and they go in there. That's where they live their life, okay? Now, am I 100% pre-baby body? No, 'cause that's never happening, and that's okay, because I have made four human beings, I can't believe that we are still out here looking at someone in a dress that is not a fitted dress and saying, that's a baby bump, there's something there, there's a bump in there, something there. Cut it out, stop what you're doing, stop it, stop it. We don't need to do that anymore, we don't, because here's the thing. Even. if, which I am not. Even if I was with child, that is between me and my husband to decide when we would like to share that information. Why are you in the comments guessing off the shape of this dress? And I would also like to point out that a lot of people in the comments that I did read said that they liked this dress. And more importantly, I liked this dress. Guys, we got to cut this out. We got to stop this. Here's the thing. I think that unless someone is cupping their belly in a photo, that we should just assume that we're not going to talk about it, whether it's happening, not happening kind of somewhat a little bit, maybe unless you tell me that you are pregnant, you say the words, I have a baby in my belly, or you are cupping your belly. That's your body. And it is existing. And I'm not going to form an opinion or a rumor about it. Cut this shit out. Now that I've given my quarterly reminder, I'm in the perfect headspace to do a, you know what's fucked up? Double feature. Hey, you know what's also fucked up? I just barely got through my first baby going to kindergarten. And now I'm already just weeks away from my second doing the same thing to me. Why do they want to leave? Why do they always want to leave you? To be fair, my second is the one who told me she would never leave me. Ellie has told me that she's going to live with us forever. Jason doesn't necessarily agree with this. But I think that we had four kids to better our odds of at least one never leaving me. Now, you say this 75% joking. I'm 75% joking because of course I want our kids to go out and be contributing members of to society. And I want them to go out and make the world a better place. And I want them to go out and have drive and ambition. And I want them to go and do amazing things. But also I want them to come home as often as possible. And I want them to visit me. And I want them to spend time with me. And I want to know about their lives. And I want to be involved in it in an appropriate healthy way. But that don't leave me. Ah, I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. And I told you last year, the problem that I have with kindergarten is that when they go to a full day of kindergarten, they're leaving you forever. That's the logical response, right? No, it's not. But that's what my brain thinks, thinks they start kindergarten. And then they're in school all day, five days a week for the rest of their lives until they leave you. And now Ellie is going to do it. She's really excited about it. And that is what I'm trying to focus on. That's always what I try to focus on because I don't want to ruin something for our kids because I have my own thoughts and feelings, you know? We're going to be fine. Now, when Finn goes to kindergarten, no, I will not be fine. Then I will indeed not be fine. Even in the fine sense of like we're fine, it's fine, everything's fine. And like, you know, it's on fire behind you that it's not even going to be that kind of fine. I am on record saying that Elliott is, I think, our sweetest child. And that by that, I just mean when she was five weeks old, this is not an exaggeration. When she was five weeks old, she smiled at us on purpose consistently. And anybody that has we humans knows that that's too early. That doesn't happen that early. Typically, between six and eight weeks, they start smiling at you. And usually it's like human far between. She was the sweetest, happiest little baby. She was just so sweet and happy. And so I want her to stay as sweet and loving and as innocent as possible. She last night went to walk past Finn's door when Finn had already been put to bed. And she whispered to the door, "Good life." And then kissed the door. I am interested to see whether or not she turns around and waves to me because if you have forgotten why it did not, she did not turn around. She went straight in as if the Uber had dropped her off and she was headed into the bar for a good time. You know, it that I'm not even a glance. We'll see if Ellie looks back. You got to stay tuned for that one. I'll keep the real ones updated on this. Now, when we do our back to school special in September, for now, I'm going to just shock myself with some unhinged questions from the real ones and ask me some things because ask me anything needed. Boundaries. Ask me some things is brought to you by Door Dash. We're going to do it rapid fire because you guys know I'm really good at that. Can we make Queen Emma happy? We'll see. We'll try our best. First up, what do the girls think you do? Do they know what a podcast is? So our kids know the word podcast. I don't think they actually know what it is. Bennett just today said, "Are you going to do podcasts?" And I said, "Yes, I am." She goes from the house. I said, "Yes, from the house." She said, "Okay, you'll be back soon." I said, "Yes, I will be." So they know that I podcast. They also know that I coach. And then sometimes we just give a blanket statement of mom and dad are going to work and we don't really give details. So I don't necessarily know that any of them would be able to tell you exactly what we do. I know that if you were to ask the girls what dad does, they would say, "I think they would be able to tell you that he talks about football on the TV and I think that they would also be able to tell you that he makes a podcast with Uncle Travis." I will say recently Jason cracked the code because he wanted to put something on the TV and why it said to him, "Is this for work? Because if it's for work, I'll let you watch it." And he said, "Yes, it is for work." And she said, "Okay, fine." And then he proceeded to watch golf with absolutely no one telling him to turn it off, which was kind of crazy. I don't know how long that's going to last, but I think he should exploit it as much as humanly possible because it might be the only way that he gets to watch what he wants to watch. And I respect the hustle. Hopefully none of our kids will get into the family business of podcasting. I hope none of them will. I, yeah, I'm hoping they forget. I ever did this like it was like a fever dream, like, "Mom, podcast, no, didn't happen." You know? And then there's this thing called the internet where the clips live forever and they're going to be able to look this all up. So, yikes. Benny does not still have her podcast, and she has not been podcasting recently. But I should ask her about that. Maybe she's just on a hiatus. The next question says, "I want three kids, but my husband wants to stay with two. What would you say to convince?" This might get me into the, you guys might not like my answer, a territory again. This is a great question. I. Here's what I'll say. It takes two to tango, you know? So, you're going to have to get them upward. If you want three children, I think you should ask him what his reasons are. There could be a situation here where as the woman who experiences pregnancy, you might have a mental block of the amnesia that we all get and think that it's exactly what you want. And it's got to be amazing. And he might have a really good point. He might. It might be like, "We're going to have to get a new car because we can't fit the car seats." And it might be, we always talked about having two and suddenly you're flipping the script. And it might be that you miss a baby. Now, this is all me trying to play devil's advocate here. I shouldn't give advice on this, but I'm going to give. This is my advice. I think you should hear your husband out. I think you should ask him what his reasons are and I think you should have a lengthy discussion about why his reasons are shit. And then I think you should go for the third kid. I'm kidding. I'm a little kidding. I'm a little bit kidding. I think you should talk about it more. Here's what I do know. I know that every child my husband and I have had has been an understanding between the two of us because it's our family that we are building together. So I think of a really good conversation about why he is hesitant about a third child and why you feel strongly about a third child would be the best move forward. From Nikki Reads and Reps, this next question says, which girl has Uncle Trav most tightly wrapped around her finger? There's a good question. I think it changes. I think that sometimes, I don't know. I think it changes. I think that they all know that he is very down for anything they ask him to do or play, he's in it. So they know that he's a willing participant and very rarely get a no. So typically when they see Uncle Trav, it's everybody in. I would say the only person that does not have Uncle Trav wrapped around their finger is Finn and that's 'cause Finn wants nothing to do with anybody. But mom and dad sometimes dad, sometimes not dad. She's, yeah, just not Finn. Uncle Trav doesn't have Finn. That's it. But that's just because Finn is mom's child. Yeah, I don't think I know you guys want a specific answer, but I think it's all of them. I think they, I think why Ellie and Benny all full court press him whenever they see him to just now we're playing. I would say the two older girls are more into the type of all-in play that both dad and Uncle Trav play and Uncle Trav will get down on the floor and play a quiet game of Barbies, but he will do like the throw, launch, all that stuff and the two older girls are more into that. Bennett is, she's a lady and she has pearls and she can't be bothered with that type of play. And last question, until part two from Ellie, this question says, what is the sexiest chore for a guy to do? Is it not the laundry, personally? I would say taking out the trash. Taking out the trash is the hottest for me because, I mean, first of all, it's pretty selfless. I mean, the trash is literal trash, yuck, you know? But have you seen their arms when they do that? I mean, I can only speak for my own husband, but like when he takes out the trash and he like lifts, it's like a full bicep curl and I'm just like, wow, look at that. Would you look at that? Doing the dishes, great because my husband's tall and when he bends over, it like emphasizes the size of his shoulders, yum. Am I right? Don't answer that about my husband. Answered about yours, cut that out. Don't think about my stuff thinking about my husband later. What other chores? I don't know, vacuuming. It's kind of nice because like, you know, you get to watch their butt across the room. Laundry, sure. Laundry, 'cause sometimes all laundry baskets are heavy and again, we get into the whole like bicep curl situation. Yum. On the reel though, my husband is not allowed to do the dishes. First of all, his shoulders doing that. I don't think I could, I think that that should not happen in our house. 'Cause like I said, four is cool. We're good on four right now. The other thing is that I actually don't like the way he washes his shoes. So how about that? Maybe, maybe just let your husbands know that all of the tasks are really hot. And they should do that. You know what's hot? Pickin' up the dog shit in the backyard. Scoop that shit. Am I right? Am I right, ladies? Yes. Go scoop it. Woo! So, let your men know. Maybe try it. See what happens. Just say him. I was gonna say you might get lucky, but that's too direct. Is it? I don't know. You're welcome, ladies. Show that to your men. That's it for Ask Me Some Things Part One brought to you by DoorDash. When we come back, I'm gonna be joined by multiple surprise adoptable animals. From the PSPC, yeah, you don't wanna miss us. Being a person is tough enough these days to let alone being a parent. That's why I use DoorDash. Because when life gets crazy, DoorDash just helps bring some order to it. Like this past week, when we were trying to work on an art project, guess what? We didn't have a single piece of paper. I mean, we had paper, but they were scrap pieces. And Ellie thought that that was completely unacceptable. So you know what I did? DoorDash the vapor. And then we were able to do our paintings on paper that was not going to melt at the amount of water that we liked to use for that. I guess technically it was water colors. You go what I mean. We need a paper and DoorDash had my back. So DoorDash came and clutched with that one. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need whenever you need it. Life with kids is wildly unpredictable. No matter how much parents try to plan, there's always going to be chaos. Being able to offload a few to do's and give a little more time to focus on yourself and your family is huge. We know life gets crazy. DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it. Order now. The place you call home is important to you. So it's important to all state. Because home is where you make all your memories. Like when putting the girls to bed magically turns into a full-blown concert of sea shanties sung by my husband, that's something you'll never forget. If it's important to you, it's important to all state. Switch to all state and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state, potential savings vary. Subject to terms and qualifications. All state, North American Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook Illinois. I'm back. And so is my all-time favorite segment. Real ones, know this segment, was called "Adoptable Animals of the Month" last week, but honestly, I couldn't wait another 30 days. So I get more creatures right here. So we're going to call this "Adoptable Animals of the Week" brought to you by all state. Yeah. You know, I shouldn't have a line to animals that need homes. I shouldn't be allowed to do that, but we do it anyway. Because Queen Emma likes to watch me practice self-control when I let them leave. It's the craziest phenomenon I actually have let all of them leave. And I'm proud of myself for that. And eventually, guys, odd say, I can't keep the streak alive. But real quick, before we bring the animals in, I'm very happy to announce that all four animals from last week got adopted. Here's Snoopy with his new family who drove all the way down from Jersey City to get him, breeze the bunny, and salmon noodles all found their forever home. So shout out to the real ones for making sure that no one was hanging out at the shelter this week after we called you guys out. A little call to action to get these guys into their forever homes. I hope that you guys live happily ever after. OK, Queen Emma wants me to enter the segment, but I already got out of my chair. So now I'm going to get on the floor because we have a puppy dog here. His name is Rusty, and he's a miniature poodle. And he is, you guessed it, rust colored. And did I say he's eight years old yet? He's eight years old. He was brought to the PSPCA through the PSPCA law enforcement. He showed up with an orbital ulcer and had to have his eye removed. So he's in a constant state of wink, OK? How cute is that? You are so cute. Hi. Oh, hello. So this is a fresh-- he just had his eye removed last week. So he's still getting used to it. You could get used to it together if you adopt him right now. You could do that. He's perfect sized, fun sized, if you will. He wants a house with medium activity. He's fine with cats. I'm sure about kids yet. But I'm meet and greet. We'll always figure out whether or not he would be comfortable in your home with your kids. And also, maybe just maybe get rid of the kids. I'm kidding. Look, straight down the barrel, Rusty. We're going to get you adopted. We have a really great adoption rate. Look how sweaty it is. And he hasn't moved just because I'm petting him. Guys, team squad. Look, it's not face. Look at his little face. Guys, are you kidding? He said-- he said, hey, cutie. Didn't you? You used to go boy? You used to go boy. He used to go boy. Yeah, you just want to home? would he be cool with other dogs? He likes other dogs. So if you have a dog, but that dog gonna be sweet to him. Tell the other dog that I will have words with them if they are not sweet to Rusty. Can that be our Christmas card? Okay, Rusty, I feel like you've made a really good case for yourself. And you are sweet boy. And you might be a pirate. Are you ready to take Rusty home? I think we did it. I think you're gonna get adopted. I can, yep, feel it in my bones. Is he a student? Nope, we're not doing this again. No, we're not. Put in the Britney Broskie. God, he's so cute. And he's the perfect size. Okay, these are, oh, nice names. Okay, I'm sorry, I touched your foot. That was root of me. Look at how cute he'll face you. Oh, podcast turtle. Me studio turtle. We did it. These turtles, I'm gonna let you get in there, Joe. These turtles are gritty and swoop. I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and assume that this is swoop and that gritty is the one that's a little unhinged. Is that correct? Nice. These are red eared sliders. Queen Emma, do you have any fun facts about red eared sliders? They're semi aquatic. semi aquatic, thank you. They need terrariums with water and a little space to get out of the water. Oh, no. Oh, there are claws feel funny. That's how you can tell their voice. It's because they have the long claws. Really? During, during mating, they do a little dance. Do they? Of course they do. Okay, so the one that you have Sarah is gritty. Yes. Okay. And this is swoop. Okay, on it. Oh, you're gonna give them to me. Yes. Of course. I would love him. I'm gonna be honest. I think I prefer the ferret claws. You're very handsome. Are you unhinged like gritty himself? Are you gonna hiss for us? I have a nice little microphone here. You could give us a little ASMR. Nothing. He's thinking about his, you can't share everything on the podcast. He's trying to be very thoughtful about. Sorry, I shouldn't have spoken for you. You're right. Go ahead. You know what? That was very insightful. Thank you so much. What are you doing with your shoulders? What are you doing? What are you posturing for? You don't have to do a dance dance for me. I'm taking. Guys, there's five of them, three females, and then gritty and swoop, two males, swoop, little more chill. You can take one of them. You could take two of them. You could take five of them. But you got to be prepared. So we're not just, they're not just out here giving them to anybody. You got to be ready for it. Queen Emmer, you're gonna come hold these guys. My finger touched inside of his leg hole. That was a sensation I was not prepared for. I'm into it. Am I, I don't know. I'm gonna leave the turtle girling up to Emma. One of these times, we're gonna get a little box turtle in here and Emma's gonna adopt the heck out of that guy. Because you know what Simon needs? A buddy. A buddy. And what better buddy than a turtle? Look at her. She's a turtle girl. It's just her and her turtles. So cute. This is Harrison. He's three months old. He came into the PSPCA as a little straight kitten with only one eyeball. He has one. He's so, so cute. I think the universe knew that if he had two eyeballs, he would be like, unbearably handsome. If you've ever seen, there's a book called Fluffy Mick Whiskers. Go look it up. Thank you so much. There's a book called Fluffy Mick Whiskers. And, yes, of course, sir. And Fluffy Mick Whiskers. Fluffy Mick Whiskers was so cute that they made people explode. It was a cat that made people explode. How cute it was. Now I think if he had two eyes, he might have been the real life of me, Mick Whiskers, so the universe said you can have one. I mean, a stray cat is literally what we want. I'll borrow him until somebody comes through and decides to take him home. I'll borrow him. Maybe he is a stone cold killer and he can take care of the meatballs that are living in the house. Look at what an athlete he is. Maybe he should stay with us just for a minute. Hello, buddy, Dad. Yes, I'm aware. I will. There we go. He's like, excuse me, but Lee, I'm trying to play with this. Oh, he has a little button, a little button right there, a little button of white, a white button. Oh, I'm gonna touch it. I'm gonna, I'm gonna boob it. Look at him. You would fuck up emails. I have so much faith. This might be the level of spice that Jason wants. He kind of seems like he would snatch birds out of the air the way that. Flash wood. You see that? He's definitely gonna merge. He's catching birds. Don't get over here. Don't come over here. Get out my feet. I can't like it. Oh, you're gonna give us our ASMR. Go ahead. Give it to us. All right, that does it for our adoptable animals brought to you by all state. For more info, check out the pspca.org. That's pspca.org and consider being the perfect home for one of these perfect creatures. But as always, if you can't personally adopt right now, if it's just not the time, you can always still support the pspca through donation of either money or items. You can also donate to your local shelters because it's not just the pspca who's helping animals that don't have homes. So get out there, guys. And Harrison, I hope you find a family. It would have been cool if you could have been a Kelsey, but yeah, you and I both know that's not gonna happen. We have a timeline, Harrison. Hey, sir, we're not playing right now. Uh, very playful. We love it. Oh, there's our ASMR. Don't tell me things. No, tell the microphone. Tell the microphone really quick. There we go. And that's all you need to know about that. Next up, let's get into a little doom scroll the week. First up, I've told you guys a hundred times and I'll tell you again, TikTok is about the comment section. You must sprint as fast as humanly possible to the comments. And if your first instinct wasn't to sprint to the comments on this clip, I don't know if we can be friends because it's the only reason I'm convinced that this went viral. Queen Emma, the clip, please. So someone will tell you not to color drench your toilet room a week after you move in. For our audio listeners, they color drenched AKA they painted all of the walls and the ceiling and the inside of the door and the shelves behind the toilet. What can only be described as shit. Literal poop brown. I don't. Anyway, I'm not even going to, I'm not going to spoil it. I'm just going to get right to it. There's straight to business. Lowell's straight to business. First comment. The dukey done. I can't. Oh god, the next one was piss yellow out of stock. The next one. Wow, it's so immersive. Really makes you feel like you're in the bowl. I actually can't. Okay, when I saw this, I, of course, am on the home renovation side of things because I find it fascinating. I find it fascinating. The colors of people pick what they choose to put together. I am not an aesthetic girlie. So I like to see what other people are doing. This was a what not to do clip. And I feel strongly about that. I'm sorry if this is your bathroom and I'm saying this and you're hearing it. But maybe that's because you should hear this. That is literal du-du-brown. Okay, you can, you can, you can paint a room that color. I just think it might be better off not to do the whole room. That's wild. I'm trying to be supportive, but I saw the color. And I saw what you did and that comment section is outstanding and just another clear example as to why you should always sprint to the comments. Next scroll as someone who has declared herself to be a cool aunt on this very podcast because I'm hip. This specific trend could not be more spot on for me. Queen of the clip. You're once wild auntie picks you up from a party you're at. Oh, you're not supposed to be at. Yes. Nikki Marie, one of my favorite human beings, really in general, but also creating content is in this clip. At first, she's saying to her niece or nephew get the get over here. We're leaving and promptly get sucked in by the music because it's great. And this is a risk that my nieces and nephews are going to have. Coming from someone who was once at a bar that was playing country music, which if you love country music, I apologize it is not my genre of choice. I was once at a bar with country music and walked outside for a minute and heard from across the street down a little bit. Some early 2000s hip hop and R. B. and lit truly Irish goodbye. The first bar went straight to the bar that was playing the music I liked and lit truly danced my way into the door. I can't help myself. I can't help myself at all. And therefore I cannot be held responsible for the moves that I unleash when I'm picking your ass up from a party you're not supposed to be at. I think Travis knows what he and Jason were doing. And I think that Travis would absolutely pick someone up from the party and may or may not tell us about it. He might tell Jason and not me. I'm actually in that situation I wouldn't give a shit because I would actually feel better about the fact that they called a responsible adult to pick them up. So I actually first choice. Don't go to the party with underage drinking. Knowing that that's probably not a reality. Second choice call a responsible adult to pick you up. So that's literally a second best option. And I will take it. Okay. And lastly a series of badass stats. I saw last night about the WNBA. I literally couldn't just scroll past. According to the gist 19,783 fans attended the 2026 WNBA all-star game over the weekend setting a new attendance record. And to put that into perspective the NBA all-star game had 15,973 fans in attendance. So I'm just gonna leave that with you. In case you wanted to know. And while I'm reading impressive stats, the 2026 WNBA season is already the league's most watch season ever and we're only halfway through. That's crazy. The league has reached 73 million total viewers. 10 million more than all of 2025. This is so cool. And I know we talk about this frequently but we haven't talked about it in a little while. So we're gonna say it again. Watching women sports right now is so excited. There has never been a time where women sports has had the focus on them the way they do right now. And they have earned it. And they continue to earn it. And that's amazing. And the more that we show support with viewers and with attendance, we are only putting money, putting our money where our mouths are and making sure that the players who are absolutely elite women athletes are being paid appropriately. So do your part. This is amazing. We are part of a movement right now that is putting women sports on the forefront. They are in focus. And it's so much fun that we get to be the generation watching it. Hell yeah. Women sports are exciting and you can't deny it because look at us go. And that's it for Doom Scroll the week. I'll be right back with ask me some things part two after these messages from me. As a type C mom, I need all the help I can get. So it's great that CBS Health app helps me handle all my health care needs. It makes the whole health care experience simpler and more convenient, especially for busy parents and caregivers. The CBS Health app helps me get in and out of the pharmacy fast. 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And everybody knows when you have kids or pets, honestly, you need to have something that is durable, something that's going to hold up this ore ring is doing just that. Guys, I wear her every day all day. Wow. She's pretty. Learn more about the world's smallest smart ring and discover how aura can help you better understand your health at or ring dot com. As a mom of four girls and a field hockey coach, I know how important it is not only for girls to play sports, but for them to thrive in them. Dov research shows that one in two girls quit sports by the age of 14 because of body shaming. You literally wouldn't be able to play a sport without your body being able to deliver and we're gonna shame them. I think not. I was always very tall. And although sometimes I forgot, people often reminded me, but you know what? My height came in clutch for field hockey. Having in almost six foot wingspan, I mean, no one was getting past me. I don't care how big your pull was. Sometimes I have to make sure that I have my ears open at practice when I'm coaching to make sure that girls are talking about their bodies, even self talk in a positive way because that's where it all starts. Dov is championing girls confidence and reminding the world that while body shaming can push girls out of sport, joy keeps them in the game. And they are backing this message through the Body Confident Sport program. This is a tool that everybody can benefit from. Your Dov purchase keeps girls in sports. Learn more about the Dov Body Confident Sport program and how to keep girls confident at dov.com. Dov, keep our confidence. And I'm back. And so is, ask me some things because ask me anything was far too open-ended for some of you crazy mother. Okay, once again, Queen Emma has a bunch of questions here. So in an effort to answer as many as I can, I'll try to do rapid fire. You saw how that worked out in the first part. Here we go. First up, what the fuck is protein milk? I just want to hear Kylie rant. Silly. It's silly. That's what it is. It's absolutely ridiculous. Drink some milk and then eat a fucking chicken cutlet. That was aggressive. And I stand by it. You know what? Screw it. I stand by it. Eat a chicken cutlet. Eat a horrible egg. Eat something. chew something. Can we stop trying to drink it? That's so weird. Stop trying to drink protein. Eat it. chew it. chew your protein. chew it in a chicken cutlet. chew it in a hamburger patty. chew it in a horrible egg. chew your protein. Also, there's protein in milk. Cut it out. Cut it out. That's enough. Cut it out. Protein milk. God. I have to be honest. Protein milk doesn't piss me off nearly as much as protein. Protein pasta. Don't you bring that shit over here. Don't bring that shit over here. Protein pasta. Protein pasta. You're trying to taint my pasta with protein. Yuck. Do you know what you're supposed to pair pasta with? Meat balls. That's protein. You know what else you're supposed to pair pasta with? Chicken cutlet. That's protein. Cut it out. Cut it out. Oh, next question. Top five things that can suck your ass. Oh, I thought you wanted this to be rapid fire. Oh, no. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Number one, lying. And that goes in on lying can suck my ass. Now, this is coming from someone who says I lied to my children, but I won't lie to you guys. Children's different. We're trying to create like a magical situation for them and protect them because they're special. So doesn't apply lying. That includes misleading headlines or clickbait you never mind. It was going to be aggressive. I'm trying to do this rapid fire. Number two, the Dallas Cowboys. Queen Amaz has a little guess list here. Is she guessed what I would say? And she got the first two right. You're correct. Those two things are absolutely on my suck my ass list. The other, the other things, clothes that are not comfortable can suck my ass. All clothes that are not comfortable suck my ass. What else? People who don't know how to treat animals. Suck my fat ass. How about that one? Terrible. You're awful. Don't like it. People who bring, who try to take other people down just to try and make themselves feel better. Yuck suck my ass. That's the fastest I could make one. That's the fastest. An honorable mention would be Emma's last suggestion which is putting protein in fucking everything. That also can get a suck my ass because like I said, eat a chicken, call it. That's that. Okay, next question is more people asking me for advice for something I'm not qualified to give advice on, but here we are. So Steph asked, expecting our fourth, how do you give all the kids enough attention? They're getting a girl after three boys. Well, I'm still trying to figure this out, Steph. And I think that the key is to make sure that you do things one-on-one with each and every child. Just the other day, I took Wyatt to come with me to pick up dinner a couple days before that. I took Bennett with me to get coffee in the morning. Mixing it up and making sure you get that one-to-one time because Wyatt and I had an absolutely lovely conversation on the way back that was a very important conversation to have. And I don't think we otherwise would have had the one-to-one situation to be able to do that because you could just get, you get sort of locked into life and the routine of life. So bath time with that many kids ends up, like it's like a revolving door of kids into the bathtub or the shower. And you get into these situations where it's sort of like everyone's around all the time. So making those one-to-one efforts, we have found our really important both Jason and I try to be really intentional about that. And we end up, I think, with really special moments where the kids talk about those things being positive experiences for a while afterwards. So I would say one-on-one experiences. That's it for our Ask Me Some Things questions this week. Keep them coming real ones. We'll answer more in the future episodes. All right. This is a solo episode, so in keeping with tradition, we're going to get down to the ridiculous pop quiz that Queen Emma has no doubtedly rigged because she likes to play dirty. And that's the only way she can get minutes for episodes. That bringing in King Brad to try and coax me into a green. Don't do it. Cut it out. Here we go. Let's see. Queen Emma is telling me that the stakes are, if I get six out of eight questions correct, this episode will be 60 minutes long. If I get five or less correct, it's a fresh 63. We're going on a three-minute difference here. That's what's happening. - Hi, stakes. - You're such a doofus. Pain in my- - Can't wait. - Yeah, whatever. I'm being told the theme this week is apparently summer, really clever. Queen Emma, real clever. - Thank you, it's creative stuff. - All right, let's do this. Oh, no. Number one, Queen Emma was not so famously or famously born this week on August 1st. This, of course, means that she's a Leo. But what is her moon sign? You're such a butt. We literally just talked about this. You're such a butt. Wow. Okay. A, Gemini B, Sagittarius, C, Virgo, D, Capricorn, or E, shut the fuck up. Considering I will not tell you you shut up. That's mean, it's not E. - But a little deserved. - I mean, maybe that's for you to decide. You're the one who has to sleep at night, okay? - Right. - I think it's either A or C. I think it's either a Gemini or a Virgo. Am I right? Do you even know what it is? - We'll find out when to give me the answer. - Do you know what it is? - Yeah, I looked it up. This is factual stuff. - I don't know anything about this. I'm gonna go see Virgo. It's A, Gemini. - It's incorrect, it is Gemini. Yeah. - The fucker I should go with my gut. - Let's go back. You can edit that out. It's A, Gemini. (laughs) - Dammit. - Change the hell. - Number two, name three actual songs with the word summer in the title. Cruel summer. (laughs) That's one. - Correct, one. - Summer, love, and two. That's from Greece. Summer time by Will Smith and Jazzy Jav. - Tell me right, tell me right. - Summer time, summer, summer, summer time. - Okay, that is correct, but. Song from Greece is technically named Summer Nights. - You knew what song I was talking about and Summer's still in the title. I'm taking that. I'm actually taking that. - I'm not actual song. - I'm taking it. Summer Nights, Summer is still in the title. - But you said Summer 11. - You knew exactly what I was talking about. Is that registered with the- - Yes, it does. - Okay, great. All right, so one to one. - You could have totally found it on Spotify if you search what I search, what I said, rather. - Yeah, but it's not the name of this song. - Let's see how the rest of this goes and then I'll decide. No, that counts, fuck you, that counts. Okay, anyway, number three, people are clamoring for tickets to see Christopher Nolan's, the Odyssey, which believe it or not, is based on a very old book. How many minutes long is this film? Why would I know that? It feels really silly. A172, B169, C174, D171, E69. I don't like that you tried to distract me twice with the number 69 because you know I'm in mature. That makes me think that it's B169 minutes because you were trying to distract me. But my gut is telling me to go with D171, so I'm going with D171. - Incorrected as A172. - Suck my ass. Number four, NFL training camp is officially underway for all 32 teams as of this week. In 2023, Jason was involved in a training camp fight when the Eagles played against which team? See the Cleveland Browns. - Sorry, that's incorrect. It is B. Indianapolis Colts. - Fuck you. - This is going great. I'm pretty sure I already won. - You did. Do you want me to keep going? - I think for fun. I think that you did. - You like that I'm getting them all wrong? - Yes, that was the intention. - I can't wait to make a pop quiz for you. How about that? - Let's do it. - Interesting. Number five, new Philadelphia 76er star LeBron James has won four NBA championships, but one of his biggest accomplishments is giving the world this famous meme. What exact original text goes on this image to create the meme? Something about living the dream. What is it? - Smiling through it all, I can't believe this is my life. - Yeah, basically the same thing. I definitely would have gotten that right if it counted. Anyway, whatever. Six, it sure has been hot. The summer what two measurements below combine to make up the heat index value used by the National Weather Service. A humidity, B UV index, C swamp-ass index, that's definitely one of them. D temperature or E sunlight direction. I'm going D temperature. And I'm going to go heat index value. I'm going to go A humidity. - That is correct. - Okay, seven, sure to be summer blockbuster Spider-Man brand new day comes out tomorrow July 31st [BLANK_AUDIO] a single actor in this picture besides Tom Holland or Zendaya. So it's fucked up that first of all you took the only two and second that you think that I know who else is in this movie. No I know you don't know that's why it's a question. So then I get the minutes you know. I'm trying to think I feel like I saw the press tour stuff. Oh got nothing. Literally nothing. Cool. Shout out to the Sadie Sink, John Bernthal, Mark Ruffalo, but you know it doesn't matter because you didn't get it. Oh lord Jesus. It hasn't this dyed and gone away yet. Hasn't it? Number eight, the Love Island USA finale premiered to record breaking ratings this summer with fan favorite couple. Trinity and someone winning it all. A. Braxton. B. Paxton. C. Bryson. D. Bryce. E. Jason Daniel. Well, I know it wasn't Jason Daniel because he's on this Love Island. I'm kidding. This is a joke. It's a bad joke. I'm phoning a friend. Char, I need help with something. That made it sound way more serious than it is. I'm doing a pop quiz on the podcast. Who won the Love Island USA this season? Trinity because that's Trinity and Bryce. Thank you so much for your great answer. I love it. Thank you so much. Are you okay? I'll see you in five minutes. Okay, bye. That would be deep Bryce because they're Brynady. Bryce and Trinity together. That's their couple name. That's their ship name and their Trinity and Bryce. That's who won. Dale bit. Yes, I did. Did I nail it or did Charlie? Whatever. I got to right. Two and a half if you want to count the Greece debacle of 2026. Thank you for reminding me. I got three, right? Suck my ass. Okay. Do you get 63 minutes? Awesome. Thank you. You're not welcome. And that's it for this episode. I'm not going to lie. You can find even more clips from my longer episode recording on my YouTube channel on more shit Monday. Follow us on social media @NGL with Kylie for clips throughout the week. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Not going to lie. Is a wave original brought to you by all state. Thanks again to the real ones for tuning in. Wave.