Kylie on 1 Year Postpartum with Finn, “Are You Trying For A Boy?” & Crazy Delivery Room Stories w/ OBGYN | Ep. 60

not gonna lie, we're gonna discuss something in this episode. It's like my dirty little secret here. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it. Are any of these the lengths of my actual hair? You guessed it. No. Let's get this podcast started. Welcome to our one-year postpartum episode of "Knock on a Lie" a way of original brought to you by CVS Health. I'm your host Kylie Kelsey and a few days I'll officially be one-year postpartum, which also means our youngest Finn is celebrating her first birthday. That's fucked up. Generally I'm okay with boogers. Not what I'm currently dealing with. And this week I turned, no. I'm not saying that. I turned over a new leaf and I think I'm going to curse less on the podcast. Can you believe it? Yep, that's right. I did get this lovely gift from for no reason whatsoever, from actually for a reason. It's um where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Happy first birthday. It's for Finnie. Don't mind the two in the four. That's it. They're not. They're not. I really appreciate the gift though. And Queen Emma also brought this. Don't mind the candles. I may or may not have turned 24 yet. You're an asshole. Happy birthday Kylie. We love it. You love your birthday. No, fuck my word. This is an ultimate chocolate cake. If you haven't had it, you should have it. It is from Wegmans. This is the best chocolate cake on the market. You can't convince me otherwise, but that's thank you so much. Queen Emma for that sweet gift for Finnie's first birthday. Okay. No, I don't have birthday plans. No, I'm not a birthday girl. No, I didn't do anything from a birthday. Now let's move on. Happy birthday girl. No, love you. Coming up on today's one-year postpartum special. I'm going to get honest about this past year as a mom of four, how I'm recovering, a year after giving birth to Fin plus we'll check in on the girl's relationships with their baby sister and what Finnie has been up to recently. After that, I'm going to be joined by one of my favorite people ever. I talk about my love for my OBGYN team constantly, emphasis on team. So it was about time I had one of the stars of the show on to talk about postpartum and what it's like dealing with me and labor. This is going to be exposing. And more importantly, what Jason's like during labor and what other people are like during labor. Hip up, but let's ask the hard-getting questions, you know? But before we get to all of that, let's start with a quick NGL announcement. Reminder, real ones. This upcoming Tuesday March 31st, you're getting the newest episode of FAAFO. And like I said before, we have a big, well actually small reveal coming. A cuddly, fuzzy, new Kelsey. And you're just going to have to watch it on YouTube. This Tuesday to find out more. I will say we shot this at the PSPCA Meanline Animal Rescue and met so many sweet animals. I cannot wait for the real ones to see it soon. And also for you to see some potentially adoptable animals. Get in there. All right. Now let's get to our real one comment of the week. Just from a quick glance, it looks like Queen Emma got another burner account. Good God. So with the 60th episode coming up, are we going to get a cool 60? This absolutely was you. I don't need to prove it. The proof is in the pudding. And the pudding is this comment. You did this. Know from the desk of Queen Emma. Well, girl, 60 episodes. Congratulations. What a milestone. I don't know about you, but celebrating with a cool 60 for episode cool 60 sounds pretty classic to me. And we love that numerology. You're a jackass. Okay. Let me know. Hope you like the balloons. Love you. Okay. Thanks. Bye. And then she chanted fan vote, fan vote, fan vote, fan vote. Who said that? That's what she typed. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that's what Queen Emma typed. I have seen comments of people saying that they enjoy a 45 minute episode. And by 45 on me, 48 because we have to fit in the ads because what they're doing her job. Yeah. There's probably one of those comments. Maybe two of thousands. Okay. We can put it to a fan vote. We can put it to a fan vote then. We did it guys. Fan vote. I can't wait. All right. Cool. 16 is. She's catching me on a down week. But be cool, guys. And the winner is a cool 60 great job. Everybody. We did it. All right. Now that that's been handled. Let's get right into this one year postpartum edition of Can I Be Honest? And today I'm kicking things off by getting honest about an entire year of being a mama for starting with an update on one of the biggest questions I had this time last year. How are my older girls adjusting to their new baby sister? Well, let me tell you, Ellie and Finney are best friends. Ellie actually told me, oh, no, Ben he told me the other day, this is a big deal. Big deal. Ben he told me the other day that her and Finney were going to be best friends. Now it was a war going to be best friends. So it is a it's future tense. And so I from that, I think we're not quite there yet. But she has figured out how to make Fin laugh. And as with grown adults, it's the same with children when they can make a baby laugh. They feel as though that is an accomplishment as it is. And they've been doing an outstanding job doing that. Now why it likes to be in charge? Nothing new. So she likes to be given jobs like, hey, put Finney back in the gate when Fin escapes from living room. Benny only wants to really make her laugh or pretend that she's a baby doll. We're working on it. There's been a lot of things put on Fin's head. And by that I mean headbands, ears, hats, dresses. And I said on her head, I didn't say on her body. Because Benny thinks that she can dress Fin. And so she'll just put the dress over her head. And then Fin's sitting there with like a dress covering her face going at, you know, yep. So it's going pretty good. Um, I would say that Fin has an affinity for Ellie right now. But I say right now because it's ever shifting. I will say Fin is not speaking a lot. I'm not going to be that mom that's like, my kid says blah, blah, blah. There's many words. No, but I will tell you one of the things that she likes to do is call for Ellie. And Ellie is sweet enough that Ellie will typically call back. So Ellie will stand in the other room and go finny. And Fin will sit in the other room and go, hey, and it's very cute. And she doesn't always do both syllables. And it doesn't always sound like Ellie, but she does try to yell back to Ellie, which is a very cute practice that I encourage a lot. So yeah, it's um, it's going well. They have accepted that she is a human being and not just a blob, which is great because now she is sort of totalling along a little bit and trying to get involved is very sweet to watch her, which we've seen this with every child Ellie on that they just want to be involved. And so to see them sort of crawl into the mix is just very heartwarming. And then when their older sisters actually try to involve them, it is so sweet. Now that would be like the Instagram version, okay, when they crawl when she crawls in and she tries to get involved and then their sisters hand her a Barbie or a toy and try to let her get involved. The real life version, which is I would say the majority of the time is when Fin tries to crawl in and get involved. And then she gets yelled at and try they try to like edger out and push her back so that she can't touch the perfectly framed house that they have put together and strategically place the characters that are playing. So just let's manage expectations here. I'm not saying that my kids play nicely all the time. The biggest difference from going from three kids to four kids, um, there was a moment, there was a while when we were choosing to try for what is now fin, uh, where I kept thinking that I had forgotten a child, like that one was missing. I think it had a lot to do with the age that Benny was in the progression because it just felt like I didn't have a baby with me anymore, either way. I, it feels very comfy and whole. It feels very balanced. I love even numbers, I've said that on the show before. Something I often get asked about is age gaps. At this point, after having why I was already pregnant with Ellie, that's bananas to me. The idea, I still (sighs) I still can't fathom that I got pregnant less than a year postpartum. That is crazy bananas. I, when people tell me that they've gotten pregnant, really I would say within the first year postpartum, I just wanna wrap them up in a little burrito and just like, just rock them. I wanna rock them because as much as you are excited about it and it's amazing, whoa. Because getting a year out, I was just thinking this the other day. Getting a year out feels more stable. And I don't know if it's just the hormone flush or your body going back or your organs being back or they're intended to be or your joints feeling more stable, or maybe just like sleep is probably better by a year out. All of these things that come together to just make you feel like a year out has been my threshold of where I feel like if I start working out again seriously that like, I might feel strong again or that I might feel like my body is stable. A two year age gap just feels reasonable because you've given your body time to adjust but you're also not getting so far out that you feel like, why would I start over? Guys, I've told you before, if my last kid gets out of diapers, then the shop is closed if he catch my drift. I will say Phineas still just cuddly enough that I do not have an urge for baby right now. Let me just say that. I like to leave it open ended because I don't want the university hear me or my uterus. Nobody's talking to you. But I do think four feels good. And that's it for can I be honest? Moving on, let's get to a segment that's back for another year by popular demand. This time with some updates, presenting the do's and don'ts of talking to postpartum women one year after giving birth. First up, gotta start with the good old fashioned don't. Number one, don't ask her if she's back to her pre-baby way yet. Better yet, don't ask her about her weight at all, but I'm gonna tell you right now. Pre-baby way, Kylie? Pre-baby Kylie? Let me say that again. Pre-baby body of Kylie, I don't know her. She doesn't live here. My body built a whole last human being, okay? And you're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm supposed to get back to a pre-baby way. Okay, if I'm gonna get back to pre-baby way, then you tell my stomach to go back to looking the way I did when I was 20 for no, not gonna happen. Well, then you've got your fucking answer. How about that? That's ridiculous. Number two, do ask how she's feeling a year after giving birth. This is such a great question. Let's check in, let's care about her thoughts and feelings. Let's ask her how her body's feeling, how she feels a year after birth, how she feels that she kept a tiny human alive for one whole year, good job mom. Number three, unless you are particularly close with mom, don't ask when the next baby is gonna be on the way. Oh, I'm so serious. And I'll speak for myself here. Don't you dare ask if we're gonna give it one more try for a boy, I swear to God, I swear to God. Don't ask me. Also, let's just put this into perspective. If you look at me and you say number one, are you gonna have another one? Or number two, are you gonna try for a boy? You are looking at a woman who has had four children, four children in what was it six years? How are you gonna look at a woman who has had four children and be like, are you gonna have another one soon? Are you gonna try for a boy? So suck my ass. How about that for ASMR? Suck my ass. Number four, don't ask mothers of one year olds if they're worried about their baby, not reaching certain milestones. Ladies, if you are still losing sleep or letting milestones of children roll your thoughts, I'm gonna need you cut that out immediately. I need you cut it out now, because I'm gonna tell you right now. Four children later, the one thing I can tell you that I've learned, that I've told you a million times, they're all different. I'm telling you that within a kid, a group of kids, whose gene pool is the same, it's the same gene pool and all their shit's been different, okay? So how are we going to compare our kids to the neighbors' kids or your nieces and nephews or your friends' kids? That is some bull shit. Also, if you look at the thresholds, the range at which these children are supposed to be hitting these milestones, why is it so wide? What? That's right, because every kid is different. We got there together, so please don't do that. And also, make sure that we're not putting pressure on anyone else, okay? Sometimes, we can say what we wanna say, we can be proud of our kids, why it was an early talker. She was, she wanted to chit chat, Ellie, that child didn't utter words. I mean, she said a couple words here and there. She did not speak to us until she was probably 18 months old, okay, like speak to us, like really be like, oh, this can help me, okay? She had words, but she didn't, you know what I'm saying? They're in the same house. They have the same parents that raised them the same way. Very close together, mind you, they were 17 months apart, okay? Guys, cut it out. Don't let those comparisons steal the joy of the amazing things that you're watching your kids do. And in that same breath, if your kids are having delays and/or are not meeting your thresholds, that's okay, too. Okay, because there are things in place to help you support them and sometimes, they're just a fucking ready, leave 'em alone. That's it for Jews and don'ts of talking to postpartum women, one year later edition. And now, a segment that's fun to say as it is to do. You know what's fucked up? And in honor of this special episode, you know what's fucked up? People still believe that postpartum only applies to the first six weeks after giving birth. That's crazy. I literally just said, it takes me until I am typically a year out of giving birth to feel like I am more myself. This is fucked up because if you read studies about when you're healed, like truly healed, it isn't even close to six weeks. You go in for a post-birth checkup six weeks after giving birth. That's typically when you go in for your postpartum appointment. That appointment is there to make sure that you don't have any postpartum immediate complications. Six weeks is not when you're done being postpartum. That's not how that works. At all, not even close. Don't do that. I've already banned the phrase, in a past episode bounce back. We're not bouncing back in six weeks, okay? You're not even cleared for strenuous activity until six to eight weeks. That's like lifting large things. Guys, you're not even allowed to have sex for six to eight weeks, okay? This is not like, she's not ready 'cause she's not healed. And I'm gonna tell you right now, for anyone who has experienced sex postpartum, are we doing this? We're doing this, I'm talking about it. For anyone who has experienced sex postpartum, specifically, I can only speak to after a vaginal birth. There might be, and now I've had varying experiences, different for every kid. It's not all fun in games, guys. It's not all fun in games, the first couple of times you catch my drift. We can't be out here like, no, that was great. What? A human just exited that door. That's it for you know what's fucked up? I'll be right back after these messages from myself. Postpartum anxiety can sometimes creep in for women after having a baby. Luckily, the CVS Health app is a single place to handle all of your healthcare needs. The CVS Health app provides access to free 20 minute exercises and free meditations. They can help postpartum mothers find time for themselves and their health. Also, when you're out of diapers and don't want to have to pack up your newborn and get in the car, extra care plus offers unlimited, free same day delivery. It's there for you when you need items for yourself, pain medication, pads, adult diapers, and for your newborn diapers, but the baby kind, formula, pacifiers, plus you can take advantage of caregiver services in the app by accessing pharmacy and health records for your children and managing their care. You can even schedule virtual or in-person minute clinic appointments and do not worry their behavioral health providers have completed postpartum mental health training and are available before, during, and after pregnancy. Go to CVS.com/app to learn more and download the app today. On this podcast, you know there isn't much I'm afraid to talk about. So let's talk about one of the most universal postpartum truths, poop. The first one, terrifying. A fear I cannot even begin to explain. The first postpartum poop is, I mean, wow, scary. And if you're a type C mom, I'm gonna assume that remembering to take stool softeners or supplements isn't high on the list of priorities during this particularly stressful time, especially with the lack of sleep. If I have to remember to take it, it very well might not happen. But Oli Pop, I remember that because I actually want it. Oli Pop is delicious, refreshing, and has six to nine grams of prebiotic fiber to support your gut and help keep things moving. It's not a health drink you should have. It's a soda you want to have because it's delicious and it comes in 18 different flavors. You can get a free can of Oli Pop when you buy any two cans of Oli Pop in store and they'll pay you back for one. Shop at Walmart, Wawa Whole Foods, and thousands of other retailers near you. Sign up at drinkaulipop.com/ngl. And we're back. And so is Doom Scroll the Week postpartum edition. First up on this postpartum themed Doom Scroll. I've mentioned mom showers before on the show. And as a mom of four, this is basically just a glimpse at my everyday life. The clip, please, Queen Emma. So it's point of view trying to take a shower as a mom. The mom is in the shower and there is a tiny baby face with a pacifier peaking around the corner of the curtain. Let me tell you about this. Queen number wants to know how many times a week does this happen. Anytime I get in the shower. Literally any time I am not in their view, they want to know where I am. Let me explain. I go in the shower. We have a glass door on the shower. I will go in the shower. Kids will come up. I can hear them run into our bedroom because they sound like a herd of elephants. One child will sound like a whole herd of elephants. They run into the room. They come into the bathroom. And typically they go mom and I say yes. And they go mom, they say yes. And they say mom and I say yes. And they say what are you doing? Well, I think I'm showering. And then they proceed to try and wipe the glass on the outside. And then they yell at me when they realize they can't wipe off the condensation and that I have to wipe off the condensation and the inside. And so then it turns into mom, mom, mom. I can't see, mom, I can't see you, mom. I can't see you as if I want them to see me. Last girl, it's good to know I'm in good company with my ridiculous postpartum baby hairs situation. Let's see this clip, please, Queen Emma. Oh, it says them, all your year postpartum, me, how did you know? She has, let's call it three inch hairs on either side of her head sticking straight out. It's if she has a handle bar mustache, but it goes out from both sides of her ears. And I say that in a loving way, okay? And I got a shout out to @TillyToDo's caption. It says, "Who love my horns?" See, here's, I always try to look at the positive here, okay? And that positive is that she can tuck those behind her ears. They've gotten long enough. The couple of baby hairs that I have, I really did get them today. I got them today, fuck you guys, I got them. I'm talking to my hairs, by the way. I have, it's this spot here, mostly this side, my right side, and sometimes this spot here, but always dead center top, okay? They just, I don't know what happens. I will, I will touch them this way, and you will see. The quickest tip I have for you, trap stick. That's it, that's the whole sentence, trap stick is the tip. You gotta put some trap stick on the baby hairs because it will weigh them down. And then if you look at other episodes of this podcast over the last, let's call it six months, you might decide not to take my advice about baby hairs because, yep, well, you have eyes. Okay, all right, that does it for Doom Scroll the Week. Next up, I've been excited to share this one with the real ones. I've literally been talking about this idea for months. I have a go-to postpartum gift for new mothers in my life. I feel strongly about making sure that people around me get the things that I found to be super important either that I purchase for myself for my postpartum recovery or that other people purchased for me that in the middle of the night or on a random day, I thought to myself, oh, you know what? I think I got that for my baby shower. And so I would like you guys to consider that this is, these are things that I found helpful in my postpartum experience. Presenting my personal postpartum gift guide, and I'm gonna go through these rapid fire style, okay? Number one, tux, witch hazel pads, and an alternative for that is witch hazel spray. That's going on your lady bits, okay? It's as simple as that. It's going on your lady bits, postpartum, don't worry. Your angel of a postpartum nurse will tell you exactly what to do, okay? Number two, derma-plast, every single time, hear me out, every single time, every time. P or two, one or two, okay? Spray that before you go to the bathroom, don't go to the bathroom without spraying the derma-plast, icicle pads, also numb that shit up, okay? You pop the pad, you shake it, you put it right down there, then you're gonna lay your little tux pads. Next, number four, adult diapers. Let's be clear, nobody really wants to go to the store and buy adult diapers. It seems it's an experience. Here's a deal, take that off their plate. The sizing is easy enough, you can guess it, I know you can. Adult diapers, I loved postpartum because I had significantly less leaks with bleeding. This is, so many people have left at this point that I feel like we were just off the rails and I'm saying it because that's what we do around here. You have less leaks, more coverage, they're honestly really comfortable. Number five, dolcalax, because they're gonna tell you you need it when you leave the hospital and they're dead serious, you need a stool softener, okay? I said what I said, one of the scariest things you're gonna do, your first poop after giving birth, okay? - It is. If you don't believe me, that's fine. I'm happy for you. Don't relax, because you're gonna have to stop at CVS or send someone to CVS to pick it up for you. If you don't already have it, now you're gonna have it. Number six, a five pack of onesies or a multi-pack, any multi-pack of onesies. And this is very specific. You wanna get the cheapest ones, and you wanna get probably zero to three months, okay? And what you're gonna tell that mom is, is how cheap those onesies were. And you're gonna emphasize, that if that baby has a blowout, that they are to throw it in the trash. And right in that same camp, number seven, puppy pads. You wanna know why? 'Cause if it's really bad, you put a puppy pad down, okay? You change their butt, you roll up the puppy pad with all the mess inside, throw it in the trash. You know what I got on? Nothing, 'cause the puppy pad had your back. Number eight, baby Tylenol. Because it's something that months after I had given birth, I thought to myself, "I need to give this baby Tylenol and I found it in the drawer because I had not personally purchased Tylenol because it didn't even cross my mind that I would need it in a pinch. And then I was in a pinch and it was there. Same thing, gas drops. Are they a hoax? I'm unsure, does it make you feel better about giving it to the baby when you're really going through it? Probably. Number 10, a baby thermometer. Because again, you need it when you're in a pinch and sometimes you're in a pinch at 2 a.m. Baby thermometer. Number 11, baby nail trimmer, okay? If you wanna do the little Dremel one, some people feel better about that. If you wanna do the little trimmer, some people feel good about that. Whatever you feel in your soul, get that one. But mom doesn't wanna look like she came across Wolverine, okay, so get a baby nail trimmer. Number 12, snacks. I feel like that one's pretty straightforward. Number 13, an adult beverage if they enjoy that. And if they don't enjoy that, get them whatever non-adult beverage they enjoy so that it can be crispy and delicious and they can have it whenever they want. Number 14, butt paste. I prefer desitin 'cause I like to speckle their asses, okay? Just thick as can go on. That's what I'm bringing in. That one you think it's for a baby, it's not. Because if you can avoid a diaper rash, your life is going to be easier. Number 15, nipple cream. Pretty straightforward. If they are choosing to have a breastfeeding journey, it might be soothing. Number 16, this one I'm very serious about. Pacifiers, but as many different kinds as you can find. You wanna find just, I'm talking five different options. And number 17, hand sanitizer for mom for in the middle of the night when you change the diaper and it's dark and you're not 100% sure what got on your hands, just the hand sanitizer. And hand soap, that you guessed it is for the guests who wanna visit your baby. 'Cause the first thing they're gonna do when they walk through your door is wash your hands. Wash your hands. And that's it for my postpartum gift guide. Let us know what your go-to gifts are for the moms in your life and what I should be adding to this list by tagging us @NGL with Kylie. I'll be right back with my OB, Dr. Divine. It's the end of March and you know what that means. The procrastination has almost reached its limit. And it's now time to finally get your taxes over with. Luckily, the easiest way to do it is with tax act. I can't remember to do a single thing. I tell everybody I push my brain out when I push down my kids. Tax act makes filing easy with step-by-step guidance and tax act gives you tax tips throughout the filing process to help you along the way. It even offers three different filing options. Do it yourself, expert assist, and expert full service. With expert assist, you can talk to a credential tax expert located right here in the US. So you're never truly alone filing your taxes. Plus, the maximum refund is guaranteed. You won't find a bigger refund with any other tax filing software. Tax act helps you find the deductions and credits that you deserve. Tax act is a solution that makes it simple and easy to tackle even the most complicated taxes. Tax act, the simplest, easiest way to get your taxes done. Visit taxact.com today. After some hectic days with our four kids and illness that you're worried may transfer from one kid to the next and work on top of that, sometimes all you need is a nice 30 minutes to take a moment for yourself. One way, I use that very small window of time to myself these days is with a nice workout on the Peloton app. Peloton can help you continue to start your year off right with their new cross-training tread plus powered by Peloton IQ. It's cross-training re-imagined with features designed to help you reach your goals effortlessly. Peloton's most elevated equipment comes with real-time guidance and endless ways to move alone or with your favorite instructors. I got Robin, I got Allie Love, I got Alex Tucson. I have not found a class that I didn't enjoy with any of the other instructors, but I'm only in towards those three almost every single time. Peloton IQ creates a personal workout roadmap with weekly recommended classes that match your mood, vibe, and personality. Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training tread plus at onepeloton.com. The real ones know my oldest relationship going all the way back to high school is with the original real one. My last blast, volume mascara from Cover Girl. Oh, what's that? You wanted two of them? Sure, why not? What made me first start to use it? My sister used it, so I stole hers in true little sister fashion. Get that ultimate big lash look with Cover Girl Lash Blash Volume mascara, designed to max out every single lash. The volume boosting formula adds thickness and plumpness to your lashes for up to 10 times more volume versus bare lashes that last all day, and throughout our entire podcast recording. The iconic spin-shape brush, catches and coats even the tiniest lashes for instant clump and smudge resistant volume. It's available in four different shades so you can choose how bold you wanna go. Very black, black, black brown and brown, plus it's available in three waterproof shades. I use very black in the non-water proof. Lash Blash Volume mascara only from Easy Breezy Beautiful Cover Girl. Shop online or at your nearest retailer. She's been with me through all of it, AKA all four of my labors with my children. She's an OBGYN with Axia Women's Health, the McConnell Division, Dr. Joan Divine. Welcome to Not Gonna Lie. - Hello, everyone. - Hi, Kylie. - Now, we've known each other for a very long time and I'm basically a regular in labor and delivery at this point. I feel like if I had a punch card, I'd be getting the next one for free, for sure. - But we, I have been a patient of the practice since before I got pregnant the first time. I always express, especially on the podcast, how much love I have for not only the team of OBs that we have at the office, but also the labor and delivery nurses, the recovery and care that we receive as patients. There have been times where I've called and I just wanted to talk to Diane, the nurse in the office. I'll be like, "It's Diane, it's like she called me back." It is such a personal experience. Not only with your pregnancy, but the process of trying to get pregnant, your health, overall health and well-being as a woman, that it's so personal and so to have a team of doctors and an office staff as a whole, that you feel comfortable calling, going to asking for help, asking their opinion, calling even when it's something where you're like, "I think I'm wasting their time, but I know that they will tell me that I'm not." - Right. That is something I have found super, super valuable in my relationship with everyone there on the team. Now, what makes for an awesome OB and particularly an awesome OB in pregnancy? - Right, I mean, you want someone who really likes and is passionate about women's health and pregnancy and delivery, and what helps is you know, you'll know that, hey, are there people, other people there going, are they someone who lights up when they talk about, hey, this is what the next steps are gonna be, this is what the pregnancy is gonna be like. Giving that anticipatory guidance, just hey, you're gonna be okay, and you're gonna feel, you should feel like your doctor is interested and not just going through the motions. - I will say whenever I have talked people into coming to the McConnell division of vaccine women's health, I've always told them that every single time a doctor, not only you, but Dr. Dempsey, Colleen, Brooke, Dr. High, anyone who comes in, they always sat down. And so that, to me, was the sign of like, you have my time. And so that in turn, terms of like experiencing that as a pregnant woman who is like, okay, what have I thought about for the last month? That I'm like, that I need to unload right here so that I can make sure I get all of my answers to my questions. And for anyone who has experienced pregnancy in particular, you know that you get some funky symptoms. So to walk in and to have someone sit down and be like, how is it going? And for you to be able to be like, I'm so glad you asked. Let me tell you about what happened last week. Right. With this weird thing on my leg, you know, at no time have I ever felt like anyone has ever looked at me and said, like, that's so weird or that's like that strange or or given you sort of like that judgmental moment, it's always like, you know what, that happens. Right. You know, and to not feel alone feels great. Right. Right. Yeah. You never want to feel dismissed. And one of my mentors who started the practice Paddy McConnell, she, I remember, she said, no matter how busy you are, Joan, sit down. You only have five minutes, but if you sit down, your patient's going to feel hurt. Now, as you know, this is our one year post farm special. So I have to ask, when you told me to do the podcast, 48 hours after giving birth, were you surprised? You know, not really. You know, I'm just like, of course she's doing that. Looking great. And you have thin with, you know, you, you, it was your fourth. And so I find moms who have more than one, you know, each one gets a little bit like, hey, this kid just has to come along. Yep. Now, as a doctor, do you not recommend doing that? I would, I would say, please do not pressure yourself in doing anything, but taking care of that baby and yourself. Now, I also thought we could just go straight to the source about what I'm really like in labor. And by that, I mean, Queen Emma wants to know the, the hard hitting facts here. How would you describe me as a laborer? You know, you are known on scents and you have a plan. There's no sugar coating necessary. This is the plan. We're going to have a healthy baby and a healthy mom. And really, that's it. Yeah. I, I've told everyone, I tell everyone that I mean, even when they don't ask, I'm like, my plan is to get in there. It's to get induced, you know, to get an epidural. Get this baby out. Right. And you get down to business. Yep. That's it. What do you remember? Do you remember anything in particular about any of our birth experiences together? You know, I have, yes, I do. I mean, I remember, you know, Jason, just kind of being relaxed on the couch. And, but when it's time to push, he was really a great supporter for you, both coaching you and physically helping you push that baby out. Seriously. That's one of the things that I've talked about that I think people are thinking I, like, and I think even he has, I think we talked about it on the other podcast. I think he thinks I'm kind of blown smoke up his ass. Like, I'm trying to give him credit. But I've explained to him, like, when he gets up behind me and helps me crunch forward, I'm like, then I feel like I'm locked in. My core muscles, they, they're a mile apart at that point. They're not doing too much. And so when he helps me get forward, I'm like, yeah, I can do this. This baby is coming out. Right. Yeah. It's great. Right. And you know, for you, I think you, I could tell you're uncomfortable at times, but you're, you're, you know, you're normal self. Of course, you're not going to be cheery. Happy the whole time. No, but no, no, especially when I feel nauseous. Like, no, yeah, that's, I'd like, yeah, you guys fix that really fast. So it's really nice. Yeah. Yeah. Now, is there maybe anything funny that's happened during labor? I will say I do think you were there for the, I, I always, I have to clear myself up here. Why it? You were there for Ellie. You were in an emergency CC section. So Dr. Hi, Brooke received her, which was very funny because I've never seen someone shift their tone so quickly. She was like, let's do a test push. And then I did a test push and she was like, Hey, let's not do that again. And all of a sudden her hair was up. She had a gallon on. I was like, well, is it go time? And then Benny, you were there. And I think Finn, you were also there with Colleen. Is that right? Yeah. And Finn has the same birthday as my son, my oldest. Yes. Yeah. So I will say you were there for when we were mid, I believe mid push. And Jason's, I said, well, what's her middle name? And Jason's, oh, we were debating whether or not he could go down and look. Yes. And you said, do you want to come down? And I said, you're not out. And he said, I think I'm going to go down there. And I said, you can go down there. If you tell me what her middle name is. And that's when he picked Elizabeth for why. And that was one of those moments where I was like, do other people typically have this conversation in the middle? Right. You know, yeah, husbands or partners, you know, say all sorts of funny stuff in those moments. And so yeah, you know, some people do want to go look. Some people are like, it totally hands off. The real ones and fans of the other podcasts love the clips that I've shared of Jason and the delivery room over the years, most notably the one with his fans. And as an expert on the matter, how high on the list of important items to pack is a fan, would you say? Right. You know, I think a fan for for the patient, a lot of people bring the little fan, clip it on the bed. Sure. But a fan for this spouse of that size, I don't usually say it's, he felt very strongly about that fan. Yeah. He loves that. It's is, it was his training camp fan. It was like a, I think it was like his like security blanket. Yeah. Now what's the strangest thing that you've seen come in to the delivery room? You know, I think it might not, some people bring in a lot of candles, battery operated candles to set the mood. And I think that's not strange. But I'm just like, oh, wow, we thought of that. It's, you know, and then I enjoy playlists. So they're so interesting and can be so different. But, you know, that I feel like that's adorable, right? They're so thought into there and I get to see what kind of music they like and that kind of thing. Is that common? It's fair to play, literally common. With the first, are they, are they bringing a speaker sometimes? Yeah. Okay. Is there like a, is there a sound limit that is placed? I mean, have you ever had to tell anybody to turn to have? I have. Yeah. I can only imagine that like if you're really trying to lock in, you might not notice how loud your music is. Right. You know, you're just in it. And if that's what they need, that's great. But yeah, there have been times where like, we need to turn that down. I, yeah, I don't have the organization to think, to put a playlist together ahead of time. And it's fun. You say your first child, like the first child they typically do it for, because every birth after Wyatt, I have taken the opportunity to like watch adult shows, not get argued with about what I'm watching on my phone. Jason and I will usually start like a new series and recovery. Like last, I think this last time we watched the Great British Bake Off. Yeah. For like a full season worth because it's really like a nice little getaway. You're some peaceful time. We very much so now we oddly made headlines three years ago with my Super Bowl birth plan, which involved me bringing both you and Colleen, Dr. Dempsey, to Arizona for the game, just in case. Now, luckily, we didn't have it. It was, it was smooth sailing. She stayed in, Benny was cooperative, potentially the only time in her life that she's cooperative, but she stayed in. What was your honest reaction when we first talked about this? Because I remember talking about this when I was maybe like six months along. We talked about it fairly early and very vaguely because we didn't want to jinx it. Right. And I remember thinking, oh, I didn't want to jinx it. I didn't want to put too much thought into it. So it kind of put it out of my mind. Yep. And then we circled back. So we circled back when necessary. How did you feel when we officially had a plan of you coming. not only as like a doctor and focus on that, but also as an eaglesmith. Yeah, you know, that Sunday night when they won the game, I looked at my husband on the couch and I was like, I don't know. And then of course, I saw you the next day for a visit and that's when it all started. You know, it was a whirlwind and it felt exciting, of course. And I had one night that I was asleep in the sleepless night where I started to think about, I hear, what if something happens on the plane? It's the plane ride where I was at, you know, that's what we were there for. Those yes, two and from plane rides. And so I couldn't sleep one night and walk through every scenario and thought about exactly everything I could pack to be prepared. And I think once I got through that night, I was like, we're just super excited to get to experience this as an eaglespan. Be there for you. We actually went so far as to connect with a doctor in Arizona. We said, obviously, we know that you guys cannot practice out there, but that you guys would then become my support people and be able to advocate for me on my behalf if we were to be in a labor and delivery situation in Arizona, because obviously Jason would be tied up. Right. So that was our plan on the ground. But yes, very much our discussion beforehand was, if I had to give birth on this plane, full of eagles family, how do we make it the least? Intrusive? Right. Traumatic, maybe. Yes. That's the word for everyone. Yes. Now, is this was this the craziest length that you've gone to for a birth plane? Yes. Or a potential birth. 100%. Yes. I'm so glad we could tell you. I know. We get to do that together. I did talk to that physician in Arizona, and I remember him saying, where he was going to be during the whole weekend. Then he said at the end, nothing bad can happen here. I know. That's why I'm here. Right. Now, I talked about this a little earlier in the episode, but I would love you to weigh in with your expertise. First of all, it's a common misconception that the postpartum period is six weeks, and then it's over. Why is that wrong? Right. Because it lasts longer, right? It's just like we're we have one postpartum visit. It's not enough, right? Women need support much longer, but really the postpartum timeframe, depending on what you're reading, it's it's really three months, right? Like those 12 weeks and anything in that first year after having the baby, we we consider it can be related to the postpartum experience. Now, what are some other common misconceptions about postpartum that you'd like to set the record straight on? I mean, I think that women need to know you're not going to be doing it all, and it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to accept help. It's also okay that you're not going to feel great. You're adjusting to being tired, a fatigue you've never known at most of the time, and you know, things that you used to do like exercise, you know, intimacy with your partner. These things aren't going to feel great for a while. And that's okay. What are some of the most common questions you get from women throughout their postpartum journey? Sure, sure. You know, real common ones are, you know, if their bleeding hasn't stopped, you know, is this normal? A lot of women want to talk about when they can think about the next pregnancy and timing of that. What is the recommended, I'm not asking for myself. We've already had this recognition. What is the recommended distance between pregnancies? Sure. You know, with a normal birth, right? Not a C section. You know, it's someone could start to think about it when there were babies six months, so six months to a year. With the C section, you really want to have at least 18 months between the two deliveries. That's an important difference because that's a wide gap. Right. Now, how much should women care about the age 35 when it comes to pregnancy? Because there's been a lot of talk about the term geriatric pregnancies and that sort of 35 threshold, what do you have to say about that? Right. And I think we're seeing so many more women have children in that age range, like 35 to 42. And so we are less, you know, nervous about it because we see it more commonly. And so there are some risks, like some increased risk of things like high blood pressure and pregnancy or diabetes and pregnancy. And so they may have some more visits, some more ultrasounds. But we feel confident typically in that age group. And I don't really tend to tell my patients to worry too much about that. I cannot thank you enough. It is an absolute pleasure to get to see you on a random day, but also to have you on the podcast. I will forever sing your praises until the end of time. Dr. Divine was, I'm not going to cry. Maybe I will. Who knows? Dr. Divine was the doctor that helped me through my miscarriage. Oh, hold on. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to believe in myself. And I truly don't think that I would have had the courage to try again so quickly. Had you not handled that with such care? And I'm sure that as an OB, it is something that you have to help women deal with on a very regular basis more often than I think any of us would like to have happened. But that experience and the way that you handled that and the way you helped me through that was something that like has helped me go on to then have four kids. Because you made it clear that it was nothing that I did. You were gentle in the way that you delivered the news obviously. The way that you very rationally because you knew how I was as a patient laid out the options and said you don't have to decide right this minute. Gave me all the information I needed and then helped me by basically saying like you can walk right out of the office. You don't stop at the desk. You just keep going. Those I and like Jason wasn't there. And so you were oh no. You were my support person. And so until the end of time, I will have like the deepest love for you. It's so hard. Those moments are difficult. For us, we feel it for each patient. And it's yeah, you're right. He wasn't there with you. And that was hard. And that's we see that, you know. And and I think you're right. It's so difficult. And I'm I'm glad I could be there for you on that day. I hope everyone finds their soul ob the way I have found my soul obes. They're my soul obes because they're mine. And I love them. But I truly like that experience could have been so much more traumatic. And I still remember not crying in the office. And you looking at me like you can cry now. And I don't know that I did until I got outside. But I the way that you handled that situation was something that made it as if I didn't already know even more clear that I was in the right hands to go through the process of building our family. And it I mean going from that experience to going through for birth plans with you has been like just affirming all the way through. And it makes me feel for women who don't have this incredible of a support system in their journey. But I am very, very, very grateful for you and the rest of the team. And like I said before, I'm gonna say it's only under time how much I love my obes. And Dr. Joan Fein is top tier. And I'm going to keep coming visit you even if I don't have any more kids. I'll Kylie, thank you so much. You know, it's been such an honor to be, you know, here for you. And I mean, never could I imagine some of the fun things we've been through, right? - It is. - It is. - Yeah. - Let's do more, sure. - Sound good. - Not necessarily kids. But like, we'll do more. - Yes, okay. - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. - And that's a wrap on our one year post-partum special edition of Knock on a Lie. You can find even more clips from our longer episode taping on my YouTube channel on "More Shit Monday." Reminder, F-A-F-O comes out this upcoming Tuesday March 31st. I'll be back with a brand new episode on Thursday. Follow us on social media @NGL with Kylie for more clips throughout the week. Listen and subscribe if you get your podcasts. Not gonna lie, it's a way of original brought to you by CVS Health. Thanks again to the real ones for tuning in. (upbeat music)