Kylie & Millie Bobby Brown on Her Adoption Journey, Grieving ‘Stranger Things’ & Worst Mom Shamers | Ep. 70

You should make Jason Watch Love Island with you. There's no chance in hell. A literal sh*t storm. Like the pasta attachments for Play-Doh. - Yes. - On your baby and put soak in your mouth. - Oh my God, a 21-year-old mom and oh my gosh, how good she is meeting her. It was just like, no, this is everything. - That's your baby girl. - And then I just immediately started cooling every cost member. Like you're still gonna be in my life, right? Like I was really, really scared that I was like, it was over. - Not gonna lie, Finney finally got on the beach. We were very curious about whether or not she was going to like the sand because she doesn't particularly like grasp between her toes. And it turned out, we got on a little beach baby. I'm very excited. Let's get this podcast started. (upbeat music) Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie. A Wave Original brought to you by DoorDash. I'm your host Kylie Kelsey. I'm 5'11" and married into a similarly tall family. I'm familiar with dot cakes because I saw them on the internet, that's right. They hit my fur you page 'cause I'm cool and young and hip. Yep. So I made one. A couple. I made a cup. We made it three nights in a row. And they were delicious. It's like crunchy cake. It's actually very tasty. I don't know that I would wait in lines for them for that long, but they were delicious. And I'm still recovering from a very recent crash out. I am very particular about the kitchen and food preparation and in particular dishes. I love my dishwasher and I love running it on sanitize. That's my favorite setting. I love heavy duty and I love sanitize. It makes my heart happy. I like to blast, basically power wash my dishes. And then heat them to a temperature that is going to annihilate anything that could possibly be on them. Here's the problem. Last week I got an error code on my dishwasher. The error code suggested that the heat pump was no longer functioning. So I called the repair service. And they very nicely came out. The very nice gentleman said, "I'm gonna have to pull out your dishwasher. "I'm gonna have to flip it over to access the heat pump." Then I'm gonna replace it. Then you should be good to go. Wrong, what happened then, a waterfall of dog food was being stored inside of the dishwasher. And to make room for their storage of dog food, they decided to chew every wire they could find. Who's there, you might ask? Those, I was gonna go so hard on curse words. The rodent, a.k.a. the me-mail is what I call them to make them less threatening to me. My kids know them as me-mouse. It them mice. Needless to say, I was on the phone with Queen Emma while I was angrily bleaching the entire kitchen floor because there was mouth-dropping, zh. And I don't want antivirus from other people or the authentic way through rodent feces. In your kitchen. I hate mice. I just, they're all naked tails. This is not a matter of cleanliness. I wanna be clear on that. There's gonna be so many people with opinions on this. They amizin' their house. You probably do too. The fuck? No, you can't keep them out. We're gonna figure this out. It might maybe end up in a situation where there is a feline resident. Now that we went on that ride. Ah, I'm still, I still am crashing out. I, I, it's, it was bad. It was bad. Oh, it was so bad. Oh, thinking about as McMaskin-Crawl. Okay, let's get into today's episode coming up. I'm gonna talk about the most ridiculous blowout situations I've been in with my children. How to be the best ant or uncle ever. And after that, I'm gonna be joined by someone I have no business speaking to. Actress, Millie Bobby Brown. We're gonna talk about all things. Motherhood, stranger things, and the importance of telling people to fuck off. Also, Anola Holmes, three. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. But before we get to that, we gotta get to the most fiery, most no bullshit, real one, comment of the week we've ever had. We're all to you by Peloton. That's right, real ones. We had a couple questions for you last week and you answered. It was a clear hell yes to a monthly adoptable animal segment, which I'm very excited about. And the most emphatic hell no, I've ever seen in my life to love Island. There are over 600 comments on YouTube and roughly 87% of them is some version of, fuck no, do not watch love Island. Absolutely not on love Island. Please, I beg you, no love Island. I, I love you guys so much. I love you guys. I think you're amazing. I think that this is women's sporting women. And I am so happy to finally pull out a win when it comes to our fan questions, me against Queen Emma. Thank you guys for this. This is the one that really mattered. Queen Emma wants me to defend love Island a little bit because people are being harsh. But I need to remind you guys that I have built my TikTok algorithm, brick by brick. And I got the clip of the two individuals saying go birds to each other. That was beautiful, okay? And then I got multiple people saying, hey, I'm gonna have to sit my millennial ass out on this season. I'm not doing it much to Queen Emma's dismay. You're lost, you know? It's not my, it's your, it's your, it's your, it's literally your loss. It's literally my loss. It is literally my loss. Lost the poll. It is actually your loss. I'm not used to losing these polls. How's it feel? Not great, not great. I'm so glad. I thought I would win. I knew it was gonna be close, especially because of the way you set it up. Yeah, you won't have to offend you, but it's fucked up. Once again, I just wanna reiterate, you lost. 52% of real ones said, no, we are not watching Love Island. I love that for me. I will say, real one, JJ Rude 13, did have an interesting idea. I'm gonna tell you right now, there's no chance in hell. I have met so many people that have told me that they watched Love Island and that their significant other actually got more into it than they were, or that they were locked in and waiting for the new episodes and they were invested. It wouldn't be my husband, I'm telling you right now. It would not be my husband. If you truly want him to watch Love Island, I'm gonna need you to go over to the other podcast and comment that shit on there because I'm not conveying that message. What if you both watch it the next time he's on, not gonna lie? - Absolutely not. Absolutely not. He watched Twilight. Are you watching the season yet? Emma, people are talking some mad shit. Yeah. Mad shit. Maybe I'll agree with him, but hey, if you want Jason to kindly watch Love Island, you let us know right in the comments. I'm sure he'll do that. Yeah, let us know in the comments that I don't want. I don't convince them. - I don't get me. That's what's gonna be the what, that's what's gonna be, that's gonna do it. Absolutely what's gonna do it. All right, that's it for Love Island. Woo-hoo, like legitimately that's it for Love Island. I'm real one comments of the week, brought to you by Peloton. Next, it's Doom Scroll the Week. Brought to you by Aura Ring. The world's smallest smart ring is here. Guys, look at her. This is my Aura Ring. This is the Aura Ring, you can see. It's a little beat up because I was not nice to her. Look at the difference on that. Look at me, I'm an influencer. She is, I mean, come on. Nice. Very excited about this. All right, first up on Doom Scroll, a literal storm is about to strike for this mom's tiny human. And we're all on the edge of our seats. Minema, this says, "My baby hasn't pooped in days, so I dressed him in white and took him in public with no extra outfit, I'll update." Now, she's doing all of the right things, okay? She is tempting fate. Not only through the white outfit or through going out without any additional outfits, also putting them in a carrier, okay? My girls, for some reason, loved to capitalize on an opportunity where there was no room for it to go. Okay, saucer seat, top choice. The baby be your little bouncer every single time. I feel like it was the baby equivalent to a squatty potty. Don't worry. This mom, she's a kind and loving soul because she gave us an update and it's good. Queen, I'm in the clip. You can see where we're at right now. The blowout was of a diabolical nature. What seemed to do the trick was putting him in my favorite sleeper, bamboo from Wild Bird, and it was white. Simon is a bouncer and drinks some coffee. I have my coffee. I told me for your own. And it's bouncer. Why don't we go to Barnes and Noble's today? So let's get a coffee. Let's walk around a little bit. And while I was making those plans, my three-month-old heard me and said, you know what, it sounds better. Why don't I just shit everywhere really quick? And then we can go to Barnes and Noble's. Perfect. I'm telling you every time the baby ends up with something firmly against their butt, that's the key. I don't know about your babies, but mine, when the feeling struck them, gave an enthusiastic push. Guys, we're talking the very least up the back, okay? If you're lucky, out both sides, like the pasta attachments for Plato, you're welcome. This is repulsive. We're going to have to bleep all of this out. Godspeed to that mother. And to everyone else who is waiting on a poop, because that's when you know it's going to be bad. When you're waiting on it, when you're like, we haven't been there in a few days. Yikes. And last scroll from one sleep-deprived mother to all the others out there, or those who have been there before, doesn't get better. You know what tells Bob right about now? She's tearing hours of uninterrupted sleep. That's all I want. I'll even take. Okay, I feel as nice. I say, and each chance I get to talk to a new mom, that I think sleep deprivation is one of the worst forms of torture. I still remember when why it wasn't sleeping, and I would have almost like hallucinating during the day, or completely forgetting things, or it was crazy. And you just want to sleep, and your body, and your brain need sleep, and yet you're still running on autopilot because tiny humans. Finn, our youngest is 14 months, almost 15 months. She is doing a much better. She was never a terrible sleeper. She's doing a great job. No, I didn't say that universe. I didn't say shit. Actually, I didn't say a thing. Let's ignore where I was headed, and let's figure out how I'm sleeping. You know how I can find out as my or herring at. Now, I love this because it not only tells you about your sleep. It also tells you about your activity. It tells you about your readiness. I have my sink to my natural cycles app, which is in conjunction with your or ring readings. I found my or ring to be incredibly helpful when I had little babies because sometimes, like we were just talking about with a little bit of amnesia and hallucinating, you forget when you woke up for feeds or how long you were up. Let's see if I can do influencer things. Let's see. I can see when I was awake, six hours and one, you two minutes. I was out of bed at 4am for a little while. There was a dream situation I had to deal with. We had to talk about it out loud so that it can't come back. Everybody knows that. We are a house that believes in sleep training, but I just want to make sure that my kids sleep in their own beds because I think that that bodes well for everyone's sleep. So yeah, we tried our best to sleep train. And for the most part, I think it worked. I will say, I do think it's very funny that at any given point, if your kid who was previously sleeping is not sleeping and you google it suddenly, sleep progression. We're in a sleep progression. Oh, how old are they? My kid's not sleeping. How old are they? Nine months sleep progression. 15 months sleep progression. 18 months sleep progression. Oh, are they learning something new? Yeah, they're a fricking baby sleep progression. What? They have a sleep progression every time they learn a new skill. You're kidding. You're joking me. No wonder we're always in a sleep progression. What the heck? Well, that does it for Doom's girl. The week brought to you by Aura Ring. Moving on, there were so many questions from the real ones last week. We still have some bangers left. So let's get into a brand new edition. Ask me some things brought to you by DoorDash because ask me anything needed boundaries. First up from Rachel Fox. How can I be the best aunt ever to my knees? Don't have kids of my own. I don't know what to do. Oh, I know. Be present and let them get away with shit that their parents will not in a safe way. And that about sums it up. You are allowed. You have aunt Uncle Grandparent Privilege. That's what I call it. You are allowed to spoil them to some degree. So definitely just be present. Love on them. And you can you can spoil them a little bit because that's your right as cool aunt. Also take her off of your sister's hands. Is it your sister? Take take take the job. Places. Yep. Next question from real one Danielle. After pushing out babies, do you pee a little when you run? And how do you stop that? So I feel privileged that I did not experience this. I would pee a little every time I stood up out of the car when I was pregnant with Bennett. Literally everything. When I hit six months on, I peed a little every single time I stood up out of the car. So there's that. But I don't have an issue after pregnancies. One of the things that I would recommend to being a completely minimally informed non medical opinion. I think that means that you should do some focus on repairing your pelvic floor. From Killian, would Jason consider a large indoor cat like a main coon? I love main coons. I think they're beautiful. I think they're amazing. I love little toughs on the top of their ears. They're incredible. I think they're a very dog-like cat. I also think a rag doll is a very dog-like cat because they're just fucking along for the ride. The problem with both of those breeds is that we got long hair. And I don't think Jason's going to go for that. But I wanted to take a whack at it. And last one, dream gas dead or alive. Where do I start? Let me start with Pink. She did not standing job hosting the Tonys. And whenever she wants to come on a podcast, we will take her. Please. And thank you. I don't even know. Guys, Rihanna, Beyonce, Dolly Parton, Quinta Brunson because Philadelphia. Guys, I got any on all of it. Okay. I'll take just come through, guys. Come through. Okay. And you tell us, but we talk about, I'll talk about anything you want. Come on. Come on. Come on. We can do it in person. I'll go somewhere. Not terribly far. I'll go somewhere. Okay, that's it. And that does it for ask me some things brought to you by DoorDash. Coming up, I'm about to be joined by Milly Bobby Brown right after these messages. Being a person is tough enough these days, let alone being a parent. That's why I use DoorDash because when life gets crazy, DoorDash helps bring some order to it. Like this past week, when I needed to prove a point, so I DoorDashed Ice Cream for everyone, but two of my children, I was trying to prove a point that there are consequences. And so when multiple people wanted ice cream, I ordered it for the ones who had their listening ears on. So DoorDash came in clutch with that one. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever Whatever you need. whenever you need it. Life with kids is wildly unpredictable. No matter how much parents try to plan, there's always going to be chaos. Being able to offload a few to-dos and give a little more time to focus on yourself and your family is huge. We all know life gets crazy, DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it, order now. As a slightly disorganized type, who are we kidding? As a very disorganized type C mom with four kids and two dogs, it's important to carve out just a little bit of what I like to call nobody needs me time. One way I use that very small window of time these days is by doing a workout right on the Peloton app. I absolutely love the fact that if I know I only have 20 minutes, I can find a workout that fits that time perfectly. Peloton helps you unlock that joy through movement with their new cross-training tread plus powered by Peloton IQ. It provides intelligent strength coaching so you can stay in the moment. Peloton IQ sees every rep, reads every movement and coaches you through it in real time. Plus, when you're racing against the nap time clock, you can get in your hot girl walk and strength training with one smooth spin of the swivel screen. No friction, no figuring it out, no interruptions. It's running and strength training without missing a beat. I love all the instructors, but sometimes you can even just pop on there for a just ride or just run, and that is good enough. Let yourself run, lift, fail, try and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training tread plus at 1peloton.com. The real ones may have noticed on this show over the years I'm constantly wearing my aur ring, and that's because I genuinely love it. I originally bought an aur ring because I wanted to know about my sleep, and how I was doing overall. And it has definitely allowed me to have insights into that on a daily basis. Aur ring 5 is the world's smallest smart ring, 40% smaller than the previous generation, and more powerful than ever. I love the fact that my last generation, or a ring, was so comfy, so comfy that when I wasn't wearing it, I felt a little naked. This ring is even smaller and lighter. It is itty bitty and cute. It is cute. Look at her. She cute. It helps me with tangible outcomes, better sleep, enhanced recovery, and greater stress resilience. Plus, it has up to one week of battery life. Charge once a week and never miss a night of data. And that, that is the most important part because I can remember. And it's available in six finishes. This is my gold. Look at her. She cute. Learn more about the world's smallest smart ring and discover how Aur, I can help you better understand your health at aur ring.com. This is my, this is my all-time favorite podcast ever. I'm not even. I'm not saying that. Like, I watch every episode. I love it. So, this is really like, I specifically was like, I need like, if she will have me, I would love to go. Millie, this is not waterproof mascara. Stop. I know. It's funny. My husband will be like, Millie, you've already watched that episode. I'm like, I know. Stop it right now. Yeah, I'm a huge. I'm a huge. Thank you. Thank you. Also, your babies. Oh my god. When they come on, I cannot. They are so delicious. They love to insert themselves into any situation. That was me. That was me. And that's my child actor. So, I mean, our oldest recently had to do something for school where it was like, dress up as your future self and she was like a rock star. And I was like, okay, but we could pick like a nurse or an artist because mostly because I had those things in the house as dress up items. Yeah. It was a little more straightforward. And she was like, no, a rock star. And then she dug her feet in and then she was a rock star. She wore a sparkly cape to school. My father-in-law would be proud. You would be proud. I love that. Yeah. No, you have to. That was me. I wanted to be Hannah Montana. My parents had to break the news that that wasn't an actual job, which I was really pissed about. But then I found my own Hannah Montana way. Perfect. Okay. I'm going to intro you and we're going to get right into it. Okay. Let's see if I can read this morning. She's the Emmy nominated and SAG award-winning actress. You know from her hit show Stranger Things and her incredible mystery movie series Anola Holmes. And we're all about to get to see the newest one because Anola Holmes three comes out July 1st right on Netflix. She's also a fellow mom, animal lover. And now she's officially not going to lie. It's Millie Bobby Brown. Welcome to the show. I just go fucking chills. I'm so excited. We have so much to talk about. We really do. First of all, I have to tell you because Stranger Things fucking perfection insanity. They're right. Like so good. My every single time I think of it though, all I can think of is my six-year-old, now six-year-old, but when this happened, she was not six years old. Maybe she was. My husband laid at night watching Stranger Things in the living room. Okay. And the next day, our six-year-old comes downstairs and she's like, I had a bad dream. Oh, no. I'm like, did you really? Yeah. I was sitting on the steps watching the show. And I said, what do you mean? She was like, I was watching the show. Dad was watching. What show was dad watching? She said something scary. And I had to then text my husband like, what were you watching that thing? He was like Stranger Things. And I was like, oh, well, so was Wyatt. And he was like, I had no idea she was on the steps behind me. Oh, I'm scared. That's horrific. See, it might take her a couple of years. Yeah. We're going to have to we're going to have to come back around on that one. Yeah. But now every single time I think of Stranger Things, I think of the the mental image of her just sitting at the top of the steps like. Sweet, baby. That is that I mean, yeah, that is that is really tough. I I wonder what recently or like a long time ago. No, no, no, not that look like not that long ago. Oh, okay. So it must have been like the last season, which I think so. I think quite scary. She she caught a good one. I to be fair. She's not. She doesn't like anything that's even like on the cusp of scary. Oh my God. So I love that. But he just cracked me up. They like she did not say anything to my husband who was sitting. I mean, we live in a split level. She's like seven steps away from him directly behind him. And didn't say a word. I mean, she went back to bed, which is kind of amazing. I could never have done that as a child. I was really like really, I still am very codependent with my parents and like have serious pedependence. So I would be like, I'd have to make myself known. Yeah, she didn't. And she told me the story of the babies. Are they like, are they are they able to tolerate that like any of them? Our third would. Our third would be like, I'm a hop in there. Well, speaking of my little muffins, I want to officially congratulate you on your little muffin. Thank you. How are you finding motherhood so far? I love it. Like, and I think for everybody who is like, oh my God, a 21 year old mom and oh my gosh, how good she. And I think what I'm having the most amazing time, it's literally my husband and I say all the time, it's like going from black and white to color. Like it's just everything feels complete and perfect in every way. And don't get me wrong. It's full of, you know, moments of like, oh my, what do you, what do you do in this situation? But it's the most amazing thing ever. And I think raising just, it's a huge responsibility and raising, raising a daughter specifically. I know people are like, what about raising a son? It's like, no, I, of course, every child is having like every child is a responsibility. However, I do think raising a daughter coming from my experience of being in a really hub, having a really public childhood and get criticized as a girl and as a woman so frequently, I just take it very seriously to raise a girl that can be proud of who they are and be confident and embrace it. Just coming from my experience specifically, I think it was like really kind of my goal to just provide a world where she feels really safe and loved and nurtured and embraced. And that's what my parents did to me. So I think that's, that's just, you know, and that's why I am the way I am. Because I was always just encouraged to speak my mind and be myself. So my daughter the other day, she's really into like, ah, just been no reason. And I do it back. And then we start kind of having a little bit of a debate. And I love it. And Jake is like, I love this because, you know, you're fully in her. I'm not shushing her. I'm fully embracing the fact that she's, she's telling me something in a really passionate way. I don't know what she's saying. But I really hope it's kind of life changing. Now, you mentioned that you have these moments of like, what do I do? Yeah. I want to be abundantly clear. Doesn't matter how old you are. That's one of my biggest realizations of motherhood is that nobody knows what the fuck they're doing. Nobody knows. We're all winging it. And your baby. it out. Your babies have to look to you and they're like they can smell fear. I swear to God. And it's like she's taking me on a thousand percent. She's calling you on she's calling you on the carpet. She's like yeah you seem like you don't know. You seem like you've never seen a poop the screen before. What are you talking about? And I'm like that leads me right to my next question. How many things have you Googled? So I do. I do. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. My husband says smell. Don't be a Google warrior and I'm like you're right. You're right. And it takes everything in me to be like taking a picture and like searching it. It does this look good to you. And then I realized after about six months, like I would say a good six months, you're like anything with the baby. It's anything is the free for it's you know that color like you know of poop or that weird like twitch that she does is just because something spicy. You know you kind of like oh I'm starting to understand that like anything goes they're all different and so you can't Google something and hope that you're going to get the out you're not like every baby is different and I think the key in that is use mom as your Google like if you have mom friends just say it to them because they'll be like oh my god like they did that. That happened to me. That happened or actually something even weird happened and you're like what the fuck like I've never heard of that before. So it really does help just talking to other moms. I'm not I wasn't huge on that in the beginning because I was like I don't want to compare because I'm in stress like if she's not doing something but actually it was it's the best thing for me and I love going to my music classes and like talking to the to the other moms about everything. That I'm so proud of you for not searching it because do you still do that. Oh number four. A thousand percent. The number of times I have Googled no granted. I have studied these charts. I'm not kidding. Study these charts. The number of times I've searched them. I have searched poop charts so many f'ing times. I'm not I'm not this is not I'm not trying to be funny. I truly have searched. Yes. To see the color and the texture and to find out if it's normal or to find out what's going on. And finally on the fourth one like we've had we've had a kind of crummy stretch here with diaper rash. Okay but I know now I can't wait for me to say this on the podcast and then medical experts to get in the comments like you sound like an idiot. You know what? I'm gonna need you guys to think what would be helpful. And you're saying I'm an idiot. It doesn't help. Yeah. No. When they're teething and they have like so much excess saliva sometimes that can cause a little diaper rash. That's true. Yes. Teething every symptom on the planet. It's festival trash. Yeah. 100%. But like if she's doing something even remotely weird they're like that's probably teething. I'm like what? But I have searched poop charts. Yeah. Repeatedly. Yeah. It's really all about problem solving. But the problem solving right now is like okay I know you really want to do that but we can't. So let's problem solve. Let's figure out another solution for you to be happy or problem solving and clearly you have a stomachache. What has triggered that? Now we need to open an investigation. Strings are coming out and the Nola Holmes is coming in and I'm just like I'm feeling very passionate about figuring out what the fuck's going on. You've been training for this. Absolutely. Absolutely. You know the one thing I will say, my husband and I were talking about phones and like when he got his first phone I got my first iPad when I was like eight years old which I think is the same. I've had one. The iPad one and I was saying my gosh what happens when I'm like I'll just to kind of what age is that you know and what does that look like in 15 years? I don't know and I heard your take on the kitchen phone and I loved it. I was like stealing that that's my that's yeah I have 100%. You know there's a you know as with everything there's internet trolls that are like good luck I can't wait until she's 12 and everybody in her class has a phone and I'm like guys I don't think you understand I came from the house where my mom regularly said to me while I'm not so-and-so's mom yeah I'm not your friend I'm not here to be your friend I'm here to be your parent yeah that's the that's the house I was raised in yeah I've been trying for this shit yeah exactly, I don't by the way I don't care that Emily has a phone don't I actually don't care like it's not happening for you so you better get over it because you can you're sobbing the whole summer if that's yeah it's like I'm the kind of I'm 100% going to be and have been the daughter that has been like on the receiving end of like it's not happening so you might as well come to terms with it and I feel it's being on and also you now like on the receiving end of what comes with having a phone it's actually I'm protecting you from the exhaustion of receiving messages and calls and emails and awful bullying and hate it's no truly it's the worst thing I carry around with me all day long it's terrible it's awful if I could go back to my LG flip phone I would I had an LG flip phone because they're the best recently no just for fun yeah Kylie this is different you had it for like actual logistics I was like oh my god this is so nostalgic for everyone else let me hook it over my pocket I was like this is fun I'll have this and so yeah it took me ages to text people on it so I was like I can't do this anymore there's nothing more satisfying than hanging up a phone call by shutting a phone oh my gosh divine by the way when my when my daughter and I we pretend to go on the phone I'll be like hello no uh-uh not today and my husband goes why why do you ask the phone and you're playing with having your immediately angry and I was like clearly that's how I feel every time someone calls me it's like no uh-uh not happening not today and so I'm teaching her to basically say no no no we're not doing that and he's like now I've so now I have to be like hello how are you oh but I'm making up a scene in my head that's just not realistic and so I've really had to catch myself because I've learned that I answered the phone and I just immediately stopped breathing well it's nice that it's nice that you came to that realization because I only came to the realization that I'm having very serious phone calls when our third was in the corner playing by herself no I cannot today I am not doing that today yeah I'm like she's who are you talking to yeah yeah her agent I mean she's getting a deal and it's it's gonna be amazing yeah it was out she was firm she held her boundaries and she did it with her whole chest and I'm here for it yeah I said that's my kid I think it's the cutest thing when it's a deliverable I'm not interrupting absolutely no enjoy your playtime right yeah now we've talked about the journey to motherhood in so many ways on the show yeah but something we have not touched on a lot and I think it's so important to highlight is adoption if you're open to talking about it yeah you and your husband announced that you adopted your little girl did you always see adoption as part of your journey to motherhood 100% yeah always always wanted to always wanted to a job just always part of like my my childhood dreams every time I was at home and I was you know five six years old my parents were like you had your baby dolls they were all adopted I never had any of them I never pretended I was pregnant it's not because I don't want that I you know I hopefully one day that's in my future but for me adoption was always a part of my future adoption is love adoption is forever and like there's so many things that I have learned before I took so many courses like so many courses in adoption what it looks like on every other end of the spectrum on being you know a social worker I went to school to be a social worker two years and then I switched to being a vet because I love animals but like truly I like loved the aspect of adoption my social work courses were like was everything and so so meaningful and and important and then I also learned what it you know speaking to and reading a lot about being a birth mother and what that journey is so for me my husband and I took a lot of time to focus on what that story and what that journey looks like and then be embarked it so it I think that there's there's multifaceted but yes it was always part of my journey now for anyone listening who's considering adoption as part of their family's future is there anything that you'd want to share with them every journey looks different um you know you wait you're waiting for the call is the hardest part and I always just like you're, I love meeting other adoptive parents, like it's my favorite because I just feel like, feel like we're one and it's just a really different experience. However, I just would always just encourage you to understand every journey is different. Don't compare yourself to other, don't compare yourself to statistics and don't compare yourself to other families and like your babies out there and you'll find each other and, yeah, I'm a big believer in that and I, you know, that's something that I prayed for every night and, and, you know, I was just very, very grateful that that our journey and our baby was out there and I, and we found each other. Now, did you know that phone call was coming? Like, do you, you don't have any anticipation? It is really just a cold call. Yeah. Your baby is waiting for you. It's a, yeah, it's a conversation and it's just really like, for me, I think it's very important to just always know, like, to trust your gut. Like, for me, my gut was like, yeah, that's it. That's my, that's my, that's my gut. That's my gut. And I think, yeah, I think that it's just, it's a very, very, it's just welcoming any, you know, any baby into your life. My maternal instinct just kicked in. I'm, I'm an aunt and my maternal instincts like kicked in. I was like, this baby is like part, like, I will protect this baby with all at all costs. So being a mother, my maternal instinct is like meeting her was just like, no, this is, this is everything. That's your baby girl. Yeah. And the bond immediately kicks in. For me anyway, it really did. That's so beautiful. This show is sponsored by liquid IV. There's nothing I love more about summer than going down the shore. I love that my kids get to experience what I like to refer to as the giant sandbox, aka the beach. The same way I did. Building sandcastles. Absolutely digging a moat. Digging a hole that you can fill with water and pretend that it's a pool. And while we're going down memory lane here, liquid IV just introduced a new flavor. Perfect for the summer. Ring Pop. 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So whenever I'm looking for my next pair of sunglasses, I always go to Sunglass Hut. Sunglass Hut has a wide range of brands and styles that fit any mood you're in. I love Ray Bans. I love them so much. I always get the same pair. I like the pair that's squared off at the bottom or the Erika shades. The Erika ones are so lightweight and they come in so many different colors and you can get polarized lenses, which I'm convinced when you put on polarized sunglasses that your eyes go. It's just my personal experience. Plus, Sunglass Hut offers a premium shopping experience you won't get anywhere else with expert guidance from shade experts. I need help because as you can tell, I am not a stylish person, but the experts at Sunglass Hut can tell you and lead you in the right direction to make the most fashionable choice. Visit Sunglass Hut and find your perfect pair of shades for summer. Sunglass Hut own your moment. Checking all state first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the girl's school emails before packing lunches. Apparently, it's a half day. I didn't need to put energy into one more thing. Yeah, so check all state first. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates North Brook Illinois. Now, one way I know you're showing your daughter how bad-ass you are is by being a working mom and doing what you love. Yeah. Has she been able to see you in action on the set? So, I filmed a romance movie and she was on set with me every day. And it was really funny because she would like watch the monitor and no, no, it was me. She would know, no, no, it was me. And I just literally would like walk off of a take, grab her, you know, walk off of a take, grab her again, take her outside, go for walks, any 10 minutes I had with her, I was with her constantly. I did not miss a feed. Like, I based my whole day around every single feed for her. And my husband the same. And he was producing the film. So, for us, we just tag team constantly. And then the other day, I popped her in her little stationary, you know, walker thing. And I was like, I wonder what I, like I wonder what she'd do if I just put like a nola homes on. So, I put it on. And she was like, she's really not interested in screens. Like, she doesn't care. Like, she doesn't grip to a screen the way I think most children do. And I think it's great, but it's also like, you don't like my work. But anyway, so, I like put the film on and she was like, and then she just like, she heard my voice and she just like, it was my voice. Like, I think my mommy looks different sometimes, but like my voice like, she was like, that's her voice. And I think a nola really sounds like me. So, it was, she was like, oh, that's mum. And she couldn't take her eyes off the screen. And but she did when every other actor went on the screen, she was there, she lost her, she was like, this is boring. She was like, I'm not here for you. I know. And I was like, this is like, I had a cabal. But I do think, yeah, I just like, no, I can't. No. But I do think, yeah, I think it's, it's a pretty, it's pretty amazing thing to be able to, I look back on my childhood and everything was filmed. I think it's, that's kind of an amazing thing to be able to say. I just, I would, I can't believe that I'm able to show her what I was like when I was 10 years old. Like, I was an NCIS when I was eight years old. I think it's hilarious to be able to be like, that was me and to be able to reflect on that. There are so many things even my husband's like, you were in that. And I'm like, yeah. And then we watched it back and I'm just like, I can't believe that I was so young. And like, you're, you got a six year old. I mean, I started when I was eight, but just to think like, she could, you know, that's possible is kind of, it's kind of amazing. And I think, um, to be able to have that for her to look at, should she even be interested, which I, you know, it's totally welcoming her not to be, but. But that is so beautiful that you basically have a time capsule. Yeah. Of you. Yeah. That is, that she will get to have forever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's so amazing. I know myself, like, I really can't believe I get to just, like, do that. And some, and by the way, some of the things I want to die, some of the things, like some of the interviews I've done, I'm like, okay, who needed to like, brain her in, like, mille shut up. Um, and that also haunts me. So it's really going to take my digital footprint is really, you know, I was a flat-earth or at like 12, but I'm like, get off a live stream. But it's like, what are we doing? I know I'm like, oh my god. So yeah, I had a phone. And that was the problem with me is that I, I definitely had a phone. It sucks that like literally the whole world got to see it, but at the end of the day, I have really, really thick skin. And I just, I don't, I really never cared. Like a lot of people have a lot to say about, oh, you got married to a young, you had a baby so young, um, you know, you did this. You did that. Why are you wearing that? Why do you look like that? I'm at a point where like, I don't care about myself. I don't care what you say about me. I'm very used to it. It's like growing up in like, you know, with that, you just, it's second nature to you. However, I do have a problem about it happening to other young girls. So that's where I really, I really just, I'm very lucky I have a great support system and a, and a healthier mindset about it, but I'm very aware that others might not. And that's where things have taken a turn for child actors. And so if I can, like, if I can have anything to do with it, I, I will always call people out on that bullshit. It's funny because I feel very strongly the same way. I really, it, I just don't care what you say about me because at the end of the day, I know me, you, the people who are making the comments probably don't. And I, but I do get feel like viciously protective of other people. And like, when people just want to be outright mean to others, I'm like, no, you can't do that. Like, I'd rather you say it about me than say it about them. 100%. Because I'll wear it. Yeah, proudly. At the end of the day, I probably don't even have enough time to read your bullshit. No. Literally. And also, like, all of these people, like, that what I, I was always like, oh my god, these are all men, like, saying all of these horrible things. And then one day I pick it out, like, actually, quite a few of them were women. Yeah, I was like, this is vicious. Like, you are vicious. And I don't have time for angry women that just have me to feel like they need to bring you down, especially when it comes to motherhood. I've never experienced anything like this. It's like, you know, I could always deal with like, oh my god, you showed your nipples? Like, what a bitch. Like, and I'm like, whatever. Like, I don't care about that. But when you're like, you didn't put a hat on your baby. And I'm like, try putting a hat on my baby. - Come on, come on, I dare you. Put a beanie on her. Put a beanie on her. She's actually like, babam. Like, do you just stay in your own lane? Put a hat on your baby and put a sock in your mouth. Sorry. The English is coming out of me. But it's so true, I'm just like, shut up. - I have said a number of times that within motherhood and here's where people get very confused. When I've talked about it previously, is that I feel very strongly that one of the worst things is when people give unsolicited advice. And I'm not talking about the people who give advice that you've asked for or helpful advice. - Yep. - I'm talking about the people who look at you and in a very judgmental way, say to you, that baby should have socks on. - Yeah. - And I'm like, hey, I've actually, I came here with four pairs of socks in my pocket and she had two socks on her feet. And we now have one sock. We came with five socks, five sets of socks. That's 10 socks, Cheryl. And now I have one sock. You tell me how a baby that has two feet is going to wear one sock. - Yeah, and somehow it's on her hand. I completely agree with you. I, when people are like, when they offer, and I luckily feel like I've dealt with it mostly online, but when I do experience it in person, a lot of people will say things like, you know, they'll be like, oh, she, that's a really big piece. Like, are you gonna let her eat that? And I'm like, yeah, like, I know what maybe Kenny and what she can't, you know? Like, I will draw the line where I feel is necessary. And I think it's very important and what Mike, in laws and my parents, taught me is just like, they don't offer me advice. They're very much like, they just let me live. They're really good about that. And they just are like, but then they'll say like, oh, my God, I love the way you do that. And I'm like, okay, like, I get that, I need validation. It's helpful to hear that I did something good, but they're very much like, we hated that. We're not gonna then be the parents to do that. So I'm really happy it like traveled. - That's so nice that that's your network, that that's whose closest to you is that you're experiencing that. 'Cause I know that that's not the case for everybody. - No. - I luckily am in the same situation where my parents and my in-laws are very good about like, you guys are the parents, you guys choose how things go. But it is crazy to hear the stories of people who, when you think, when I think about the horror stories of people sharing unnecessary advice, that it's, I think about it as strangers and some people are getting in-house. Now, I do wanna circle back to your new movie really quick because I do, it comes out on July 1st. And so we got, we have a little bit of time here. And so I just was wondering if you can give away any spoilers. And if you do, we'll just bleep them. - Okay. - What are you most excited for fans to see in Anola Holmes 3? - Oh my God, okay, we're gonna bleep it out? - We'll bleep it, tell me everything. - Okay, I'm most excited for fans to see. I know the (beep) I'm really excited about that. Really excited about some of the new actors on the film and everybody kind of enjoying their characters. And also we filmed in Malta. And I feel like it's a really, have you ever been to Malta, Kylie? - No. - Yeah, yeah. Well, it is a very small island, like the tiniest, tiniest minute island, except it has the most amazing culture. And it's very vibrant. And it has like, you know, we lived there for basically two months. And it was just like an amazing experience. You go out, you could go and get Italian food, but then there's a lot of Arabic influence. You know, there's a lot of French influence. It's like kind of amazing. It feels like a culmination of a lot of like Africa and Europe. And it's really a cool place. And the accent is very like very specific and niche. And it's a really colorful place. So I really enjoyed that. And I'm really excited for people to be like, take us out of London for a moment and go to another place. I can't wait for the real ones to watch this. - Yeah. - It just feels, I mean, I won't touch on your spoiler 'cause we're going to, we're going to bleep it, but then you can bleep me too. That feels so (beep) I love that. - Yeah, I think it's good because you, you, you know, people are very confused by the fact that me, Milly, I'm really, you know, I encourage all young women and young girls to find their thing, fight for what they believe in, stand up, you know, on their own to feet and do it on their own. And yet, I will also encourage you to ask for help, to love others, to love deeply and find your person. And if that's person is your best friend, your aunt, your grandmother, my person was my nan, like she was my everything. And to find your other person, in which Jake and I started in like a, in a, in a friendship, but, but then it, you know, grew. And I feel like in a lot of ways, the story kind of runs parallel through my life and that I was feeling like I really wanted to be independent on my own and really do my own thing. And it didn't mean that I didn't have to do that, you know, without my best friend. (upbeat music) Now I do want to ask you some more about Stranger Things. The final season came out at the end of the year. How are you feeling now, several months later? - Feeling really, so I, oh my gosh, I don't know if I'm done with interview, since then, I'm like, have I even spoken about it? I basically, I cried for most of January. I had a bit, I had a bit of a, just a lull in who I was. Like, it feels like grieving. - Yeah. And I think what was hard is that I knew what was happening. I knew the end and I couldn't tell anyone. And I wore black, the whole press tour because of the, the, the theater all of her. And yet, I, um, I didn't feel it as much until everyone else found out. And then feeling everyone else's grief made me like, woo, like, it was too much. And then I just immediately started calling every cost member, like, just like, we're, like, you're still gonna, like, be in my life, right? Like, I was really, really scared that I was like, it was over and I just kept crying. I kept crying. - That is like the most terrible. - I watched my layers of grief. - Yeah, and then I finally felt like I came out of it toward the end of January. I was like, I had to, you know, I had to, 'cause I read out loaded Instagram 'cause I really wanted to see what people were saying about L and like her story and then I had to delete it because it was making me too sad. And so I think toward the end of January, I, um, I had to stop talking about it, like in my random conversations because it made me too emotional. And also now, all I ever get is, you know, I used to get, oh, are you 11? From stranger things. And now I get, I believe I get people saying that they believe she's still alive. So it's a really beautiful, which also just evokes a lot of emotion for me. So, what you guys created with stranger things was incredible. I mean, you don't need me to tell you this. I'm pretty sure everybody tells you this, but what you guys created is incredible. And the great thing about it is is that even though the show is tied up and then again, a neat little bow, which is, I mean, I would say it's, well, maybe it's not tied up in a neat little bow because you still get that wonder of what is. But you guys created something that is so incredible that it evoked so many emotions out of people that had people, like, on the edge of their seat waiting for the episodes to drop. Like, you guys did the, and it went all the way through which I think is such an incredible accomplishment. I think so many times you've seen a show that sort of like, gets a big fan following and then sort of like, it draws out so long that people are like, well, I didn't watch that last season or I didn't watch this. People were on the edge of their seat until the minute you guys finished. And that's so impressive. - Yeah, I mean, the fans, it's crazy to think that the fans stayed for that long and were so dedicated despite the years that were sometimes in between the seasons. But I truly, I mean, I can't, like, I can't, I think that, again, it's just, it's the cost. Like, we together, everybody individually had such an important role to play. And, you know, I almost all the time meet people that I like. I love this character because they make me feel like brave and I know I want to be this and now I want to be this and I think it's really cool and then I'm majority of the the time get young, young girls and I'm talking you know sometimes six, seven years old and I truly was like they come up to me and they'll say can I be a superhero like you and I'm like that's like what you see me as as a put you know and then I'm like it's kind of amazing because for me like there's such a like I'm such a like my character so layered and it's so complex and she really is superhero and and they're just that's all they see and I think it's really cool to be able to to be that for for some you know young girl that you know is watching it probably because she's not meant to be and she's almost there is like why it but it's that's what she sees and that's cool but that's so it's really cool to think that and I don't know if you feel this way but having young girls when I get to see like even just their like my nieces when they interact with them who are like teenage girls the different women in their life who interact with my daughters who they see and idolize and and see what they do and how they impact their lives like that's so exciting for me yeah and you get to do that on like this very high level yeah does having a daughter of your own almost drive that home even more of like I know that you've always been like a women supporting women and making sure that like we're uplifting other women which yeah I cannot get behind enough yeah but it does does that like do you feel the weight of that that you are influencing young women in a way that I would personally love to have someone being a role model for my kids yeah I think I always felt it like I felt the responsibility of that um sometimes it was great sometimes it was really overwhelming because I was like I feel like I can't make a mistake um however now having a daughter I'm like every child I meet I see her in them I cannot thank you enough for coming on this has been an absolute pleasure and honor I know we just talked about it but I do have to say you are an incredible example of women supporting women of motherhood I hope you fucking put your noise canceling headphones on and block out all the haters because that thick skin is doing well for you and um you shouldn't listen to any of the hate because you are incredible I'm so so happy for you and your husband and your little baby girl and I wish you guys the best um kindly this has been an honor like seriously I love I love your podcast and I'm nobody probably ever does this to you but I just want you to know like your transparency the way you are like I can tell you used to your speaking from the heart and you're not saying things to be just a certain way in the world like your podcast I feel like is a really great outlet and I feel like when I'm watching you and other guests you just allow people to fully speak their truth and who they are and you just you're not jaded and I like love that and I love that I feel like your this podcast is that so I think we need more of you in the world so thank you for having me up thank you so much uh and remember real ones to go watch anola homes three on Netflix on July 1st and that's it for this episode of not gonna lie you can find even more clips for my longer conversation with milley on my youtube channel on more shit monday I'll be back with a very special father's day episode next thursday any guesses on our guest hint it's not who you think it is comment and we'll see if you're right follow us on social media at NGO with Kylie for clips throughout the week listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcast not gonna lie is a wave original brought to you by door dash thanks again to the real ones for tuning in