Kylie & Meredith Gaudreau on Johnny's Olympic Tribute, Raising Hockey Kids & Reality of Grief | Ep. 59

Not gonna lie, last week I had a proud mom moment, and it tied perfectly into today's episode, and you can hold up, hold up. Well, you'll see. Let's get this podcast started. Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie, a wave original brought to you by DoorDash. When life happens, DoorDash is there. I'm your host Kylie Kelsey, a retired Irish dancer. Oh no, it's not good guys. I'm retired for quite some time. It's pretty bad. I can't think about literally anything besides the Donna Kelsey home renovation. Don't worry, we'll circle back to that. And guys, I might have a mini me. That's right. Based on all the comments on the other podcast clip of Ellie saying she loves Uncle Traffy and Randy Moss, it seems like there's exactly one Ellie facial expression that has the real ones finally giving me credit for the children. I burp. Yep, you guessed it. It's when she says, no. She was polite about it though. She just said, no. She didn't say with attitude. She just said it like matter of fact. Oh, someone said at Kylie Kelsey, Ellie's face when she says no is all you, mama. Someone else said the way Ellie says no to him and gives him the eye. Kylie, come get your mini me. Girl, I'm okay with this. Guys, everyone knows no is a full sentence. To be fair, there's still infinite number of comments that say how she looks just like Traff. So speaking of congratulations to Travis in the second biggest story of the week, he's officially decided to return to the chiefs for his 14th season. That's very exciting. We're very excited to cheer on the chiefs again. And we hope that they fucking crush it because go Uncle Traff and go chiefs. I said it. Also go birds. All right. Now that's been addressed back to the rundown coming up on today's episode. The Oscars are this Sunday. And since I've seen zero of the 10 best picture nominees, literally none of them. I'm going to talk about I couldn't even I don't even think I could name two of them. I'm going to take a little turn on that. And I'm going to talk about some of the movies and TV shows that I have seen thanks to my tiny humans in NGL's second annual screen time awards. After that, I'm going to be joined by NHL wife Meredith Goodrow, who I'm absolutely honored wanted to share her story with me. We're going to talk about her late husband Johnny's tribute at the Olympics, grief, and what's next for her as she helps other families and carries on his legacy. But before all of that, let's start with a couple NGL announcements. First up, we're taking next week off because I frankly haven't stopped moving in months. And I just simply want to sit down. I want to sit my butt down for a couple days and not do anything, which means I will be doing everything for my children. That's how I like it. But the good news is we'll be back March 26 with my one year postpartum special. Oh my gosh. I can't believe it's been one whole year since Finley and Kelsey came into the world. That's nuts. Remember when I podcasted with her 48 hours after giving birth? That was crazy behavior. And I do it again. Real one sent us all your questions about postpartum at NGL with Kylie. Next, in even more good news in a couple weeks, you might be meeting a new Kelsey. Because you're getting the cuddliest, cutest, furious FAFO of them all on March 31. And that's all I have to say about that for now. Meow. I'm kidding. Am I? I don't know. You'll have to tune in and find out. Isn't that kind of fun? Okay. Next up, Doom Scroll the Week brought to you by DoorDash. We all know life gets crazy. DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it. First up on Doom Scroll. I haven't been on Twitter in months. But there was news so shocking and groundbreaking. Even I had to pop over and check it out. And I'm, of course, talking about the Donna Kelsey home renovation of 2026. For anyone who doesn't know, the highly reputable expert reporters over here at TMZ broke the story at exactly 8 p.m. on March 7. Okay. The headline says, "Travis and Jason Kelsey's mom Donna remodeling her modest Florida home. When I found out the news, I was in our home days before this news actually dropped. When my mother-in-law herself told me that her plans going home were to get new windows." And that was a little earth shattering for me because Donna, she is well organized. She is far more structured than anyone that lives in our house. And so when I heard that she had scheduled this really just crazy remodel of getting her windows replaced, I thought, well done Donna, we did do something for yourself. Way to make sure that your house is sound and, you know, ready for any of that Florida weather you might get. And also, her home is beautiful. And so if it needed updating, obviously she would be the one to take care of that because like I said, she's on top of that kind of stuff. The article actually revealed that nine windows and she got nine windows and six doors replaced. I have a couple questions about this. I don't know that she has six doors in her house. Miner detail, but I get it. I'm not surprised by the number of windows because I mean, Donna chose to live in Orlando, Florida. She likes fresh air and good weather. So like, obviously you want good windows and a lot of them. I might check in with Donna just in case. I would love to know if there's sliders going in, maybe some French doors. I wonder if there's screens on the doors to get a nice through breeze, you know, a little crosswind through the house. Maybe a bay window. That would be exciting. A little like a little reading nook. Stop it. That'd be cute. I'll have to check with her. I really wanted to make sure that we address this on today's episode because I think that the gravity of this article was important to address. I think that it was really, really important that this hit the internet when it did. I think that it was timely. I think they did great investigative journalism, even if they got the numbers wrong. Go to job TMZ. You did it. And in our last doom scroll the week, friend of the show, Allison Kooch, is in her third trimester and crying about hot dogs. And as someone who has been there four times, can confirm totally normal response. I actually got Tiri eyed watching this the first time that I saw it. I know this is going to be really dramatic. All I'm craving is a fucking hot dog. I don't want to fucking eat egg whites in spinach. I want a fucking hot dog. Oh my god. With chili on it. The width chili on it is so good. I teared up watching it because when you are pregnant, and this is not for everyone, but I do feel like I had this, you feel your emotion so hard and aggressively that you that it doesn't need a rhyme or reason. It doesn't. And I mostly experienced a versions. There was one time for three weeks that I thought to myself, all I want is shrimp pasta. I want shrimp with pasta. And I want it to be cooked a certain way. And I want it to be buttery and garlicy and delicious. And three weeks went by of me being like, no, I really want shrimp pasta. And so I went to the store and I got all the ingredients and I came home and I made the shrimp pasta. And I took one bite and I started crying. And Jason said, what's wrong? And I said, I don't want to eat this. So I understand the tears about food, although mine were often negative, which really sent me. But a great answer to these random pregnancy cravings is DoorDash. And I'm going to tell you, as someone who had a versions, equally as important, because this is what happens. You'd go on to DoorDash, you tell your husband, order something. He says, I don't know what do you want. I said, no, no. I don't need to know what we're getting. I'm not allowed to know until it shows up. Because if I think about it too long, I won't want it. You think I sound like a crazy person. I was a crazy person because I was pregnant. And so I would give him the phone and lucky for me, DoorDash saves your preferences. So he wasn't even going to fuck it up because DoorDash knew what I wanted. Okay. And he would go in and he would order us stuff. And it would come to the house. And then I would eat it because I didn't get to think about it. And because he got me something I wanted. And it was beautiful. And I loved that because it was the only time that I actually could stomach eating food sometimes. So fuck you a versions. How about that? That's it for Doom Scroll. The Week brought to you by DoorDash. All right. Moving on. Let's get right into our second annual screen time awards brought to you by Oli Pop, a reminder for any of the real ones who didn't see the the first annual screen time awards because 'cause I'm so bad at keeping up with pop culture. And because I have four children, I pretty much only have time to watch the Frozen franchise over and over and over again. So these awards are for all the shit I have actually seen this year. Is slim pickings. And I might have reached new high (beep) of being out of the loop in 2026 because I'm nearly positive, like I said at the beginning, I know I have not seen a single best picture nominee this year, but just for shits and giggles. Queen, I was asking, what do I know about any of these 10 films? I'm gonna go right out of the gate here. I know that F1 is starring Brad Pitt. And the only reason I know that is because when I go into Apple TV, on our TV, to find my kids programming, there's an advertisement for it right at the top. I know one battle after another because Regina Hall, who was one of our guests on NGL, she came on to discuss her role in one battle after another. What the fuck is HamNet? HamNet? HamNet? This is not a bit, guys. I have no fucking clue what these movies are. So now that we covered that, I'm sure you got a lot out of it. Let's get to what I have seen multiple times with the Screen Time Awards. Thank you, Queen Emma. These are our top secret envelopes. And our first category this year is movies that somehow haven't been ruined by Wyatt turning the volume up to 80. Yep, Wyatt likes to drown me out when I speak to her or I speak in the living room. If Jason and I try to have a conversation on the couch, Wyatt, if she has access to the room, will actually turn the volume up so loud that she can no longer hear us speaking, which in turn, we can no longer hear ourselves speaking and we have to promptly ask her to turn it down. It's a fun game we're playing. Anyway, the nominees are Zootopia, Tangled, Frozen, we're Aqua Marine. And the winner is. Aqua Marine. Yes, it actually has some bops. Let me tell you. And so even if it is up at 80, we can have a little dance party. And also they love to talk about Raymond. If you don't know about him, he's the heart throb in the movie. And I'm pretty sure many things they're getting married. It's fine. Our next category is my best chance at a tantrum-free ride to the shore. Yeah, we got about an hour and a half in the car, sometimes longer. And I bargain with the idea that the car TV only turns on. That's right, when you're on long car rides. So we're sticking with it. I swear to God, if anyone tells my kids that the TV works on all car rides, consider yourself done. They've told classmates at school that that's how that works, which is incredible. And the nominees are the Little Mermaid, Aqua Marine, Reckett Ralph, or Tots. Wonder who will win. The award goes to. Reckett Ralph, I know it's a little surprising, but for some reason, everyone can get down with it right now and specifically for some reason when we're in the car. I don't ask questions, guys. If they agree on something, if three of my children agree on the same thing, you can bet your bound dollar, I am not arguing. Nope, I won't put that sucker on real quick. And now, the return of a category that needs no further introduction, are you fucking kidding me, Jason? They can't watch this. Last year, the film R-R-R famously won. That's right. If you haven't seen R-R-R, don't watch it when children are around, but my husband's party trick was putting it on. That's right, when my children were around. To be clear, great movie. Stellar Cinematic Expertise going on there, okay? Anyway, you're nominees for 2026R, Predator Badlands. This one's fun because Jason actually didn't know that why it was still awake. She told him the next day. When she asked him about what he was watching, and he said, "What do you mean?" And she started describing Predator Badlands, and then he realized that she had come out and sat on the step and watched the TV from there. When she was supposed to be asleep. So that's fun. And tombstone. And the screen time award goes to tombstone because he knowingly put it on while they were in the room. All right, the mother of all of them, the last category recognizes extraordinary achievements in doom scrolling. AKA the Lifetime Achievement Award for an internet video that dominates my everyday thoughts. And the nominees are, she came down in a bubble, Doug. If you don't know this clip, you're about to. And I hope it lives in your head, rent-free. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, this is gonna be fun. Her sister was a witch, right? And what was her sister, a princess, the witch of the East, girl. I'm gonna stab them. You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong. Am I wrong? She won't cry when she came down in a bubble. I'm not fighting with you. Grow off, I'm not fighting with you. Grow off, get educated. I literally, that literally, oh, I love it so much. I love it so much. And I'm gonna tell you one of my proud mom moments. Why I came home from school recently and they did something at school related to the Wizard of Oz. And she said that she told them she wore a crown and she came down in a bubble, Doug. I, that, you know, every time, every so often you get a glimmer of hope with your children and that was a strong one. This is another clip that I can't quite explain why it scratches an itch in my brain so hard. But let's see the clip. This is, I believe it's chip, but we're gonna find out when I see his nose. Smacks the table because God is good all the time. If you know you know, okay, okay, he said scoot over. Everything that he is saying, first of all, the three individuals sitting at this table inviting him in. Right, yes, let's see. Scripture says, write it down. Yes, can you just watch this a couple of times? When everyone hits the table at the same time, outstanding timing. Wait for him to, oh my God, the head nod, and everybody says it at the same time, and everyone is in sync. And for some reason, the joy that they are having just creeps out of my phone into my soul and I love it and I can't explain why. This next clip is a clip we've quoted on the show because well done. Mac and cheese, oh, Mac and cheese. Okay. There is a Mac and cheese taste test going on. Yuck! Yep. That might be white cheddar, but it's not gonna be a. I love this so much. It's okay. I'm gonna play the 7 out of 10. The fact that she says yuck with extra syllables and then says, it's okay. Perfection, absolute perfection. And your 2026 Lifetime Achievement Award winner is, you already knew what was about to happen. Hold up, hold up, hold up. She wore a crown and she came down in a bubble, Doug. I can't help myself. It's been a long standing favorite of mine. There's T-shirts on Etsy if you wanna get one with the entire dialogue, panned out, so. Yeah, and you guys might have guessed this, but just like last time, the cards are blank. Woo! Look, I'm prepared to be shook. They're all blank. That's it for the second annual Screen Time Awards brought to you by Oli Pop. I'll be right back. As a parent, DoorDash has always been there for me when I needed them most. This past week, when Ellie is birthday popped up, I did need to find a way to get balloons. I'd definitely DoorDash that. Because it was the fastest way that it was gonna get there. And I needed to ensure that the morning she woke up, it was birthday start to finish. DoorDash came in clutch with that one. Life with kids is wildly unpredictable. No matter how much parents try to plan, there's always going to be chaos. Being able to offload a few to do's and give a little more time to focus on yourself and your family is huge. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need whenever you need it. We all know life gets better. gets crazy, DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it. It's March, so that means I don't have just one child's birthday, but two in my dads. And another one the last week of February if we're getting technical. So that means a whole lot of extra planning. On top of the day-to-day chaos of a house with four children, a husband and a large dog. So when I need a moment for myself, you can bet your bottom dollar. I'm cracking open a nice cold ol' pop in the kitchen and standing in silence. I can hear the crisp hiss of it opening. I love a nice unexpected treat and that applies to the ol' pop and the silence. What are my favorite flavors of ol' pop? I'm so glad you asked Queen Emma. My favorite one is always going to be Cream Soda. A close second is the root beer. And I do like the Shirley Temple and I just mix it up a little bit. Ol' pop is a great little pick me up in your day and something you can actually look forward to drinking. And you can get a free can of ol' pop when you buy any two cans of ol' pop in store. And they'll pay you back for one. Shop at Walmart, Wawa, Whole Foods, and thousands of other retailers near you. Sign up at drinkalipop.com/ngl. The real ones know my stance on ice cream. It's not my favorite dessert. But yes, I kind of came in clutch and changed the frozen game. Yes, I took everything you love about ice cream and upgraded it with creamy frozen Greek yogurt. It is truly the best of both worlds. Delicious ice cream tastes and better for you nutrition. And it's available in bars, new 14 ounce Spoonables, chocolate crunch bars, sandwiches, and poppables. Yasso has something for the whole family. And luckily for big families with lots of different tastes, Yasso comes in so many delicious flavors. They have flavors like strawberry and cream, chocolate chip cookie dough, chocolate fudge bars. I'm a big min chocolate chip girly, but I will say the chocolate chip cookie dough, close second. Yasso bars are 100 calories or less and have four to five grams of protein per bar. You can find Yasso at grocery stores nationwide and get this. Love it or it's free. They put their money where their mouth is. Try Yasso and not totally satisfied. They'll give you your money back. Find Yasso at grocery stores nationwide and go to Yasso.com/ngl to get $2 off your Yasso purchase. Before I introduce today's guests, the real ones know we like to have fun on here, but I've always tried to make sure that with this podcast, we talk about things that are meaningful. One way I like to do that is by creating a safe space, particularly for women, even more particularly for women in sports. So I'm very honored that our guest today, Meredith Goodrow, wanted to share her story with me. I think that it is so important to not only talk about grief, but to have an opportunity to have Meredith talk about the love of her life and their life together. And hopefully that helps other people processing. I know that that is one of the reasons that Meredith speaks up about her grief now. This is Meredith opening up about the unimaginable tragedy she and her family faced in losing her husband, Johnny, and her brother-in-law, Matthew in August of 2024. And she's now continuing his legacy, most recently with their children alongside our gold medal winning men's hockey team at the Olympics. Meredith, thank you so much for joining, not gonna lie today. For anyone who doesn't know, we actually have a lot in common. You are a fellow, Philly and Jersey Shore girl. You're a mom of three tiny humans. And you've been in the professional hockey world while I've been over on the football side. - Yes. - And I'm so glad we're getting the chance to meet. So thank you so much for coming to chat. - Thank you. - This is very exciting. I actually do wanna share it. You guys were just at the Olympics. - Yeah. - Were you there? - We were. - Okay, 'cause I saw, I feel like we're at a little camera when we were passing in the night a little bit. - Yeah. - We should stop doing that. - I know. (laughs) - How was your time in Milan? Did you guys enjoy it? - It was great. Yeah, we were there for literally four days. So the kids stayed on East Coast time, which was really fun. - But wasn't that crazy? We tried to do the same thing. - I left Thursday, right Friday, and then went to the game that night. I saw you guys on the big screen. - My husband? - Yeah. - Because he was wearing the same hat that like my daughter brought home. Like that. - Of course he was. - It was a flower that's indigenous to the mountains. - Okay, that makes sense. - Yes. - 'Cause she was wearing it the other day and I was like, - It was a children's hat. I can confirm it was intended. I believe for children. - Yeah. - But in Paris, he had his beret that he put all of his pins on. (laughs) And so he needed a hat to put his pins on and someone very graciously gave him that one on gel. Shout out to Angel, got him that hat on our production team in Milan. So, we went to the game that night. Next day, had the day off. We went up to Blasio, above Como. Sunday woke up. It was Johnny's birthday. Went to the gold medal game and then woke up Monday and left. So that was Johnny's birthday. - Yeah. - When they won the gold medal. His second birthday. - Yeah. - That's so cool. - Yeah, it was very special. - What a great birthday celebration. - Yeah. - I know, I felt like everything felt in perfect place. - Yeah. - Gosh, that was great. - And staying on East Coast time. So what time were they going to bet? Like 1 a.m. - Two. - Yup. - Look. - Johnny tried. - Johnny tried in. - We tried that. - I tried to put him to bed. And then I was like, he was just tossing and training for three hours. - Yup. - I will just go back downstairs. - Yes. - Run around. - So. - Are you awake? - He was fine when we got home. There was no. - Is that not the most needed? - It's the soul like parenting in a different zip code. I always say when you go on trips, it's just parenting in a different zip code. - Yeah. - People were like, this is amazing. You got to go here, you got to try this. I was like, I am not on vacation. I'm just, I hope the room service can speak for Italy 'cause that's, that's it. And it was great. Delicious. - I'm pretty sure no matter where you eat in Italy. - Yeah. - The pasta and the bread are gonna be outstanding. And a million other things. We already talked about this. But don't come after me for saying only pasta and bread. I'm a carb girl. - Me too. - So they nailed our hotel nailed it too. - It was so good. - I had a focaccia. On every single, Queen Emma's nodding her head 'cause I made her eat it too. I ate one every single day we were there. - I ordered pizza, like room service pizza as you show it, like a side pasta. I was like, which one should I try? They were like, this is a hotel. - Yeah. (laughs) - They were like, we're actually not known for this. Now we're actually recording this today in our Philly studio because one, we love Philly. - That's right. - And two, you're in town visiting family. - Yep. - You are a delco girlie. Is that right? - I grew up in Malvern, kind of Chester County, but oh, okay. My parents grew up in Delco, so I'll take it. - Oh, that counts. I technically grew up most of my life in Montgomery County, so, but we moved back to Delco the second we had a chance. So I like to claim Delco, although people love to get me on technicalities all the time. - Yeah, my dad does that so hard. He'll be like, I won't say. - I won't say Delco boys, like you kind of live in Malvern, but you left them. (laughs) It is better than the people who live in South Jersey and say they're from Philly. - That's right. - So we can live with that. - That's good, yeah. - We can live with ourselves there. Is it safe to assume go birds? - Absolutely. - I love it so much. - I knew this was the space. - Of course, I knew it in my heart. Were you a flyers fan as well? - Yeah, just Philly's fan. - I'd see anything. - Yes. Now, what teams did you follow the most closely in your house? 'Cause we were in Eagles Philly's house. - Okay. My dad was definitely Philly's flyers. - Okay, but every Philly, any Philly sport team, but probably the Philly's. - Okay. Now, you go to Avalon. - Yep. - Do you ever feel, for those of you who don't know, the Jersey Shore, the Jersey Shore that we go to, collectively, is not the Jersey Shore, and I've mentioned this on the show a couple of times, is not the Jersey Shore that you might catch J-WOW at. - It's not what you're thinking. - Not. It's some good, clean family fun, very little Jim Tan and Laundry. It's different, but do you ever feel inclined to just be less cool by a mile and to come one stop north of where you are because you go to Avalon. We are a Seattle family through and through. - Just pass right by it. - It's literally one stop ahead of Avalon. - So we have a shorter commute. - I know. Sometimes I'm like, wow, I would be here by now. - You get it. - I'd love to talk some more about Avalon because I hear that's where you and Johnny met. - Yeah, we did. - And from the article that you wrote, you guys met at the Princeton? - Well, we were actually next door neighbors. So like, you know, down the shore, your houses are on top of each other. - Yes. - Like, you can't be outside hanging out. - No, you're down the shore with your neighbors. - Yes, you can't be outside at the same time not knowing exactly what they're talking about or everything about them. So that's how we met and then we went out that night to the Princeton and we're like, oh, here we are again. The only place to be, how much hockey knowledge did you have when you met your husband? - Just, no, not like, I didn't know the rules. I didn't know off sides. You know, I would thank you so much for bringing this up. Because I just had to be coached up at the Olympics. - Yeah. - Watching the women's game for icing. - That's a hard one. - Thank you so much for saying that. I did not know that either. - That means a lot. 'Cause I was like, I don't understand. And like, why are they sprinting for it? - Yes. - And then they just, I just never got that. - Okay. - And then they knew the whistle. - Thank you so much. - I guess they can't cross a couple of the lines. - Yeah. - With no one talking. it's shaky and icing. I do not want to figure it out. We'll figure it out. You can teach me off-sides and we'll get Jason to teach us icing. This is great. We'll figure it out. He was a hockey player in like through high school. He loves ice hockey. No way. Loves it. Wow. Yeah. Should we get into like a little bit of mens league or something? Well, he's creaky. That's what I call it. He's creaky. He gets up out of bed and he's like, oh, yeah. Less natural. I feel it. So I can't imagine. I know. Right. We're all creaky. Now, when you met your husband, what drew you to him? I noticed his style. He just kind of stood out for some reason and I was like, I don't know why he's so cute in his little fit of jeans, but that's it out. Like pinks. I just thought he his look just overall appearance just stood out to me. Do you still remember meeting like you you can picture meeting him for the first time? Yeah. It wasn't anything crazy. He just came over for my sister's birthday pre-game. His friends were already over so I opened like the back sliding door because our houses were on the bay so you know it's going on the back. Yep. And I was like, I just opened the door and said, your friends are upstairs because you know the houses are upside down. And he was just like, I remember he said, I'm Johnny and I was like, hi, your friends are upstairs. And then I buy. That was really it. And then because I really wasn't partaking in this pre-game. And then when my sister gave me a hard time and I got changed and I came out and I was like, same girl. That was me. They were like, who's this one? Yeah. And I just took off my gross day clothes. Sorry. I didn't feel like that different, but I guess I do. I'm going to the printing guys. I'm dressed up. I'm not going to the OD. I'm going to the printing. We're going to the printing tonight, right? Got to go. I got to know before I go get changed. Yeah. That was really it. And then the day after, you know, I was like, are you still down the shore? Like, you know, you know when somebody's home down the shore? Yeah. And then we went out on the jet skis. And then I was working night shift at chop. So I would do the commute because I wanted to see him. And then he, I came to learn later like he was staying down the shore because I was coming back. But he was staying overnight down the shore alone, which I didn't realize till later was like very unlike him. Yeah. Because he never liked to be alone. And it was the week day now. His siblings and his parents were back working. But he was staying down the shore. And I was like, oh, it's because I'm coming back. It feels very like summer love story. And the gift of the short keeps on giving because you also got engaged at the Jersey Shore. Yeah. In Avalon, I'm guessing. You know, I wanted to do that and see how weird. We're real close. We were right on the jetty. Yes. I could see CIO. Perfect. I think it might be in the background of our beautiful photos. Yeah. On his scale, I wanted to tell you how surprised were you? I was shocked. Were you shocked? Yeah. Because it was just the next summer. Was it? No, two summers later. I literally do this too. No, whenever anyone's like a timeline and I'm like, kiss my ass. I was like, wow, at all. I think I can pull dates out like that because we met at the end of the summer. That first summer. Then the next summer we had together right and then the next summer got engaged and I was like, whoa, like people were shocked that like, Johnny Goodrow has a girlfriend. Johnny Goodrow is getting engaged and I was like, no one was more shocked than me. I swear because he had to go away for the bubble. It was like COVID. They were finishing up their season after the big pause. So he was away for like six weeks July into August. And then came home proposed like the next night. So I was like, that was not on my radar. Like, I was also had just worked and it was another one of the I was like post shift. So pretty much anything could happen to me that day. I'm not going to notice. I was so tired. But it was perfect. It was really nice. That's amazing. Who took the photos? Because you actually have photo evidence that those hadn't are sisters. My sister Lily and his sister Katie, they were, they tell a really funny story because they were getting eaten alive by the flies. Sure. So they were hiding the dunes for a while wearing their hats and it was funny because when they came running after he proposed and took a lot more photos, I was like, oh, you got a photographer. Like I was just so, you know, caught off guard and I was like, oh my god, it's Lily and Katie. So we know them. I was like, okay. So I was like, wow, this is so thought out. Right. It was just really cool because the jetty was one of those spots that I showed him. I was like, oh, my favorite part, my favorite spot in Apple honest, this jetty. And he was like, why? I think it's just cool. You could see Seattle from here. That's it. Thank you so much for noticing. I like to look at Seattle from here. No. So he had this all planned out. I guess. And how far in advance did he have it planned out because if he did it that quickly after getting back? I know. Did he get the ring? Yeah. He was texting with his mom to like do a lot of that leg work for him. And he showed me afterwards he was going back and forth with her face timing because the same. He was an Edmonton. Yes. And then came home and literally proposed the next night because I was like, what? Like, oh, when did this happen? So it was really cool. Now, you guys officially became, you officially became a hockey wife. Obviously. But you started going to Johnny's games even before that up in Calgary. Is that right? Yeah. What was that like the first time you went to a game? That was crazy. When I flew out to Calgary from Philly, his face was on like a billboard in the airport. And I was like, wow, this is crazy because you're like, okay, stalker. I was like, is that following me? I was like, is that your face? Because Calgary being a Canadian market. It's such a big deal up there. It's still, you know, it's a big deal here. But it's not everywhere. It's really pretty hockey. Exactly. So I just was, I thought that was the coolest thing. Just having a city care so much about like once born, you know, I felt like I was in another world. Like, I'd never really been out of the country. And now I just flew to Canada. And I think I got off the plane, like, got an Uber to his apartment because he was already at a game. And I met him there and I was just like, whoa, this is crazy because I actually, you know, when you're one of the wives or the girlfriends, you can use the player's entrance. Yes. He doesn't tell me any of this. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to a game by myself. This is so weird ticket for one. I went in through like the main entrance because of course, what else is what entrance were you supposed to use? And then I sat in my seat and I like definitely saw the other wives and I was like, they're probably like, there's one girl here by herself. And I didn't go down to the room in between intermissions. He didn't tell me any of this. And I'm not going to be, oh, Johnny Goodrow here for him. Let me in the room. So I just was sat in my seat the whole game. I think I got French fries on the concourse. Yep. And then afterwards, he was like, where are you? And I was like, I'm in my seat still. I don't know where to go. Like when am I going to walk out the front door, wait for you on the curb. So he was like, you can come down like, you've been on the list. I was like, oh, you didn't tell me that. So what list? I'm like, I don't know. There's a list. So I just sat there. And I think I called one of my friends because I was like, I'm nervous. Yeah, but it was so funny because looking back and like, whoa. So when I see like new girlfriends on the team, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm over here. Yes. All the boys are the same. They might not share these details. A thousand, they all are the same. Yeah. Yes. No, across sports. Yeah. They're all the same. They were all so welcoming to me. It was just more like John was so quiet. I don't think he told anyone like, hey, Meredith is coming. Look out for her. Help her out. No, it's a secret. Yeah, it kind of was. So I was like, Supra, I'm just going to go get some french fries up there. And yes, send my C until this game's over until somebody tells me where I'm supposed to be. And you know, after the game, the guys take forever to do whatever they're doing. So they're here. I always used to say, Jason's curling every individual beard here. He'll be out when he's out. He was always the last one or section the last while. Yeah. Cause I would be in that room after now is comfortable in the room. Cause I was like, is you were on the list? Yeah, I was on the list. I knew where the man was that would read the list. Uh-huh. But yeah, last one out of that room. So I remember like, you know, when the door opens, I'm like, that's not John. So yes, you guys have a great night. I got here for a couple more hours. Some treatment. I don't know. A couple beers in the sauna mostly. Honestly, even a big treatment type of guy. I swear to myself, what were you doing? in there, beers on the side. - 'Cause they had sushi. - I was like, oh, how was it? - Cool. - Mine was just right here. And then you went from NHL Wife to NHL Mom when you had your daughter Noah. - Yes, that was like a new city too. So we, I felt like I was like a chicken with my head caught off for a while 'cause it was new mom, new city all at once. And doing those two things at once. - Now that's when you guys landed in Columbus, right? - Yes, okay. - So I was 38 weeks pregnant when we moved there. So it's like I met my auntie the next day. - Sure. - I'll just come back tomorrow and have this baby. But the city took us in. It was such an easy transition for as easy as it could be until I just had to be like, okay, now I need to figure out this new mom life. - Yes. - Doing that and moving to a new city at once is crazy. Now in your essay for the players Tribune, you wrote a lot about your kids and how excited John was about being a dad. How special was it for you to have your kids watching their dad plant? - Yeah, this is really cool. I mean, they're so young. So Noah loves looking back at those pictures and watching warm ups. You know, it's very special when your dad skates over and you can kind of blow kiss and wave and do those things. And there's a while where too in her crib, she was laying there and chaining CBJ just to herself, one night. - Raisin, right. - She's just, and she understands the lifestyle. - Yeah, that was cool. She would always have her eat pregame meal with him. I have a lot of cute pictures of them doing that together 'cause that was just like a pasta carb load type of day. And you know, if it was actually just yesterday, it was like 10, 45 in the morning. And she was like, can I have some pasta? And I just had such a flashback to like, you always used to eat pasta at this time with daddy. So yeah, you're still still doing it. - Let's still do it. So yeah, it was, it was cool. She, you know, I don't, I wonder what she kind of holds in and remembers now 'cause she said things like, oh, daddy's not here. I'm like, no, that's okay and she'll still have fun now. So that's all that matters to me. - I do think it's interesting. We've found with our first, she's like an elephant. She remembers everything. - Yeah. - And she has said things like years after about like something she experienced and she'd be like, oh, that's that place we went when this happened. And so it's funny, I think to experience what kids have stored as like that core memory, things that they've kept with them, that I'm sure that she has. - Right. - That she hasn't felt the need to tell you about yet. - I think a lot of those two might be our time to spend together down the shore 'cause our most recent time together as a family was our time in Avalon. - Yep. - It was just the other day she said something like, she wanted to go to the beach. She was like, oh, look, it's sunny and this is your favorite. I was like, yeah, I love the summer, I love the beach. And then she was like, yeah, we can get ice cream 'cause that ice cream truck. Something she remembered and I was like, yeah. - Yeah, ice cream went some more time. - Yeah. - We're so close. - We're so close. - Yeah, exactly. - No, what do you think John's best skill as a dad was? He was, there was a lot of them, but he was, he would like go in and just be like, I'm just gonna make sure she's still breathing. He was like, okay. And like he would, he was very worried or like really gentle, but like, you know, once you kind of get comfortable and once we had our second baby, like he was just like, I got this. - Yeah. - So I just remember he would always go in and I can look back on our Nanit, like the saved footage and stuff and he's just like, looks. He's like, okay. So like, I just remember him always doing that. - Are you moving? - Yes, you're moving. - Yeah, he was really good at it. Like just, you know, just always checking on things. He was, he actually was the best at putting our second Johnny to sleep. He, you know, when like it hits bedtime and you're like, I just got like flushed with anxiety. Like what is bedtime gonna bring on tonight? - Yes. - He was just like our fussy baby and I remember one time, John was like, up on bed like I like doing it. And I was like, oh, please. 'Cause I get totally stressed out when it's time for Johnny's bedtime. 'Cause he was just so hard to put the bed some nights and I just remember John was like, can I do it? Like I want to do it. I like to do it. So I was like, oh, that's really cool. - Yeah, please take it. - Yeah, go ahead and take this opportunity. - Yeah, I just, he's like a touch. - Every night is, there's always a ringer. - Mm-hmm, yeah. - And it's a surprise. So that makes sense that you would be like, hey, yeah. - You can absolutely do it. - I was just never good at the transfer. - Sure. - And John told me, this is a great tip. You know, they fall asleep in your arms and you're like, all right, here it goes. We're gonna put 'em down. But he said you have to wait till their mouth opens and their kind of like catch and fly is sleeping. - Sure. - And she's like, oh. - Yeah, and I was like, oh. So he would be like, and you know what they're like? - Yep, that's when. That's a little tip. And every time I see the kids doing that, I think, John, that's so amazing. If you're a real one, you already know. It's been a year now. And I guess I fully embrace Minivan life. Really has been a year. But that unlikely development is all thanks to our Toyota Sienna. From school drop-offs to road trips to the shore, we take our Sienna everywhere. And the best part has been being able to literally fit our entire six-person family in this car. And of course, the ridiculous things that happen in the backseat with four tiny humans. I mean, the amount of snacks that have been smushed into the floor is unmatched. That takes me to my next point. I literally can't lie. I love the Sienna's features. Because when they smash those snacks into the floor, my built-in vacuum will suck it all up. Toyota designs vehicles that help create the best experience for the whole family while making the trip easier and more enjoyable. So if you're looking not only for a great car to get you from point A to point B, with enough space that you can fit everyone, I highly recommend the Toyota Sienna. And going for a test drive at your local Toyota dealership, you can learn more at toyota.com/sienna. And remember, it's not the places we go, but the people we go with that matter. With two of my girls' birthdays, sports schedules and school drop-offs, it's hard to get a steady routine. One thing that always helps me get back into the swing of things when life gets crazy is a nice workout on the Peloton app. Peloton can help you continue to start your year off right with their new cross-training tread plus powered by Peloton IQ. Peloton's most elevated equipment comes with real-time guidance and endless ways to move alone or with your favorite instructors. I love a robbing class, I love an alley-loved class, and I love Alex Tucson. It's cross-training reimagined with features designed to help you reach your goals effortlessly. Plus, the new movement tracking camera allows Peloton IQ to count my reps and correct my form in real-time. And when your days are packed with practices or play dates, Peloton helps you stay on track. Peloton IQ creates a personal workout roadmap with weekly recommended classes that match your mood by the end personality. Is that why they keep recommending that I take hip-hop classes? Specifically '90s hip-hop. Let yourself run, lift, skulp, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training tread plus at onepeloton.com. The real ones know I love to do 'em scroll, and sometimes that includes browsing Facebook Marketplace. There are so many unexpected finds on Facebook Marketplace, and they all come with a story. A lot of my friends who love Facebook Marketplace have told me tales of the things that they have found on there and the incredible things that they have brought into their own home that now get to live a second life. It's so beautiful. And now Facebook Marketplace is partnering with another powerhouse, Bridgerton, to celebrate the second episode batch drop of season four, only on Netflix, and officially out now. Simply type Bridgerton into the Marketplace tab on the Facebook app to explore a shopping experience curated for the ultimate Bridgerton fan. Facebook Marketplace is the ultimate resource for transforming any space in your home. Imagine a toddler tantrum on a Regency-era fainting couch. Ooh, the drama. Check out the custom Bridgerton shopping experience on Facebook Marketplace now at fb.may/BridgertonMarketplace, and watch Bridgerton season four, part two, only on Netflix. - Now, one of the many moving moments from your letter to John in the player's Tribune was you sharing how you told him you were pregnant with your third baby Carter. Take me through that, how far along were you? - I think I was only in my seventh week. So, his sister Katie's bachelor at weekend was early August. And then, so now, fast forward, this was August 23rd or 4th, Barrett, a rehearsal dinner, and John was the best man for his best friend at this wedding. And of course, family friends. So, John siblings were also at this rehearsal dinner. So, Katie was, you know, don't be pregnant by wedding, like, I was like, no, trust me, I don't wanna be, like, that's not fun. And then, her bachelor at happened and I came home and for some reason, Maddie at the rehearsal dinner was sitting across from me, and I was like, fake drinking beer, and he kept looking at me. And I was like, I was like, nothing going on here. I was like, I have a five month old, I'm not pregnant Maddie, but he kept being like, [BLANK_AUDIO] I was like, "You have this one, I think this one's skunked." And he was like, "What?" And I was like, "What do you want me for, Maddie?" And then I was like, "Baby Johnny is five months old. Like, don't worry." And then Katie was like, "Yeah, no, I know she's not. Like, she told me she got her period right after the bachelorette." And I was like, "Yeah, I did." And then, you know, quiet John is sitting there. And then we were walking to our car, and he was like, "You just lied to Katie. What are you talking about?" He's like, "You didn't have your period last week." And I was like, "I know." And he was like, "I was supposed to." He was like, "What are you talking about?" He's like, "What do you mean?" And I was like, "He's like, why did you say that?" And I was like, "I did not have my period last week." No, he's like, "I know you didn't, like, hello." And I was like, "Yeah, I know. I'm pregnant, Maddie." He was like, "What?" And it was just so funny, 'cause it was just such a shock to both of us. And then, I wanted to tell him in a way cooler way than that, but it was like, "But Maddie was on you." And your siblings were all over me, and then I just can't imagine he was sitting there being like, "She is lying, and I don't know why." Wouldn't it have been hilarious had he been like, "No, you didn't." And I was just like, "Surprise everyone, it was so funny, 'cause we were just driving home back down the shore from this rehearsal dinner, and he was like, "Are you nuts?" And I was like, "Yeah, this is all my fault." Takes two to time, and I was literally just like, "I don't know." And he was like, "Three kids? This is insane." He was like, "I'm excited. I'm really nervous, though." So I have all these text messages that took screenshots to say for Carter, 'cause the next day, he was skating, and he was like, "I can't focus on this skate. I can't believe we're having a third baby." And just like, I think I had like 20-- Like a stream of consciousness. 20 text messages from him being like, "I'm so excited. I'm so nervous." Like, "I can't believe this. You're crazy." And I was like, "Yeah, this is crazy." So it's so special. It's so special to save things like that. I know I'm really kind of obsessed with saving stuff like that now, 'cause John even sent me like a selfie of himself like in that moment. So I thought that was cool to save for Carter. But his face is just kind of like-- So it's cute, because Carter looks exactly like him, too. So it'll be special to show him one day, and then screenshots. Yeah. Now, as painful and unimaginable as it all is, do you take some comfort knowing that you did get to tell him? Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, you're gonna have me now. Yeah, 'cause, yeah, he, you know, 'cause some people did say, like, "Oh, did John know?" And it's like, yeah, of course he knew. It just only was like about a week long. But yeah, he, I also knew he always liked the name Carter. So I was unsure. We didn't obviously know the gender. We never found out the gender of our kids. But we had a list of names we liked. And obviously, Johnny's name was after him and his grandfather. But I knew he liked Carter. So I'm excited to tell Carter one day, like, he really loved your name, because Johnny's name was just had to be Johnny. I don't know, maybe he doesn't like that name. I just want to be like his name Carter. And it was special to me. And he really didn't want Johnny to be John Michael, which is John's name, my husband's name. He just didn't want it to be John Michael. So we got to do Carter Michael. So Michael was John's name, too. That's so special. Yeah, I thought it, it all kind of fit. 'Cause I remember one time he was also telling, it was actually Maddie and Madeline. He was like, we're, you know, just get dishing out names. He's like, "How about Carter?" And I was like, "That's one of our names." Don't use that name. Yeah, I know, I just like it. I was like, "Sh, don't tell people the names you like when you're not even pregnant." 'Cause we weren't pregnant at the time. He's like, "How about Carter?" And I was like, "Yeah, stop giving our names away." So then, you know, I was so stressed over what to name the baby. 'Cause we never got to talk about it. But I was like, "I know he likes the name Carter." That's such a beautiful tribute to make sure that he was involved. Yeah, we, it was really funny. One of those apps, it's kind of like a Tinder app. We did this. Yeah, you swipe on the names and you have a match. And you see what matches. Got Carter on the match. Perfect, yeah. So funny. Yeah, Carter, Michael. Now, if you're comfortable sharing, I think everyone who supports and loves you and your family would appreciate hearing your perspective on what happened. The day before your sister-in-law, Katie's wedding, can you take me through that day? Yeah, it was, um, we were staying with his parents that week to kind of help Katie. I was one of her mates of honor. So we were, you know, the night before doing all the favors, which I thought was cute 'cause John really, him and I were like doing a lot of that stuff. Getting the favors ready for the next day. He woke up and, you know, packed up our car. We were doing the boys went to go golf and the girls were just having lunch, but I was bringing the kids home to my parents' house because their babies, you know, it was crazy. So Noah was not too yet. And Johnny was six months old. So, you know, when you're a parent and in the wedding, you don't really have to partake in all the things, but I was glad he golfed that day with his brother and his dad and then they were just having like, you know, little barbecue out by the pool that night. And I was at my parent's house and it's got a call. Like, come over, you know, and I didn't know at all what happened when I got there, though there was a lot of cop cars out front and it was starting to rain. I was like, you know, you said like a bad gut feeling. I thought I heard, they told me over the phone, you know, like we don't know what happened, you know, I think something happened to Maddie. So my whole drive over, I just thought like, oh my God, like, I don't know how I'm gonna help John get through something that happened to his brother and I didn't know anything happened. But I remember it like it was yesterday, kind of keeps something that's just, can't stop playing it in my head, but it just doesn't feel real still. Some people said it's like a defense mechanism, but I just, you know, I was making all these phone calls 'cause John didn't have his phone on him. He left his phone at his parent's house. So it's like, I have no clue what's going on. And just hit me like a ton of bricks. I just, I remember being like, this is, can't be real. Who actually delivered the news to you? John's uncle, but he didn't even have to say it. I just, it was just like a look. Yep. And I just was like, what? It was just so weird. Just everything happened so fast, I guess. I don't know, just, I remember I was asking John, like, hey, what bag is, no, it's sleep second. You know, that was kind of it. Now, Johnny's brother, Maddie's wife, Madeline, was also pregnant. How did you to support each other through this horrible loss? Yeah, it was just, you know, she's the closest person I have to relate to. So, trauma bonded forever now through that. But, you know, just anything her or trip ever needs, you know, anything in the world they need, I'll be there for them forever. And she's been using for me and my kids, just has that like without no explanation needed, just whatever you need. No, was that their first? Yeah, she was pregnant with. Yeah, so she was four or five months in. She, they had the baby right, she had, she had tripped right after Christmas. Okay, so, yeah, crazy. Now, how have you and John's family leaned on each other? Yeah, you're just, you know, you're trying to be respectful of everyone's perspective. You know, I've, something I have learned is just all about perspective. You know, I don't, I try so hard to, you know, my kids are very helpful for my in-laws. So, we make sure we spend a lot of time together. You know, it's nice for me sometimes when I'm around my mother and father-in-law, like these are John's parents. Like, you know, that, it feels good. It's just sometimes so heavy and hard too. But, you know, we just, they'll still come out to Columbus a few times and visit us and anytime I'm here, you know, make a point to see each other, spend a lot of time together in the summers. So none of that has changed. It's just, you know, I kind of sometimes I just look at my father-in-law and like he has a lot of the same mannerisms and stuff is John. So I'm like, I'm sure I have to be hard to see sometimes. - Yeah, it's hard. But you know, I can't imagine how they feel when they're around me. They've been incredibly supportive of me. It's anything I need, I can just call them and ask. And my mother-in-law reminds me of that. You know, all the time, just anything. My father-in-law is really great with the kids. He's excited for this summer to get, you know, them on the ice. I don't know if they're gonna like it, but we'll try. So we just do a lot of little things to, you know, just get through the next thing. It's just all about the kids and they know that and they do a really good job of making sure the kids are having fun, the kids are happy, and they are. - And everyone who has followed your story will remember you publicly shared your news about being pregnant at the funeral. - Yeah. How important was that to you? - Yeah, I wanted to just, you know, bring light to, you know, everything John had accomplished. And, you know, being a father's, you know, what more, like, you could be a hockey star, all you want, and he doesn't care about any of that when you compare it to being a dad, you know, this. And I just wanted to, you know, I was very proud of John for being a father of three. He was really good dad and, you know, just everything I have now, which is, you know, I owed all to John. All the good in my life is because of him and very grateful to have three kids. - Also, what a beautiful time to share such a light. Yeah, that you were expecting in such like a dark day where you're trying to, like, find the beauty in that person's life. - Yeah, I just wanted to, you know, very hyper focused on making sure my kids are, they know how important and special their dad is. And, you know, make sure that they're not messed up by this in the long run. And, you know, making sure that they always feel close to their father. And try to just have everything kind of be surrounded by him and them, you know, when they're old enough to realize what really happened. You know, I just want them to know they were always the center of anything I've ever done. - And the Columbus Blue Jackets, Johnny's NHL team honored him in their home opener a little while after with a banner and by starting the game with an empty left wing spot. You were in attendance with your children. It's so incredible for moments like that that I can only imagine were difficult to give not only yourself those moments, but also his former teammates. Oh God. And also to have your kids get to see whether they remembered or not to be present for that moment of honoring his life. - Yeah. What do you remember from that night? - Yeah, I didn't know they were doing the empty left wings but I thought that was very powerful. Sorry. - I'm sorry. I just, I want, you know, everything I do tribute wise or anything, I want to make sure, you know, it's for my kids that really what drives me to do all these things. And that moment, of course, it honors John, but it's, it's a memory for our kids to have. Sean, Sean is John's best friend. And he, that was his first season. They were teammates in Calgary together for years and he came to Columbus. I was really excited to, you know, reunite with John as teammates. And he was the one out there with me. And then I just, when I see that moment, I just think it was probably very hard for him to do that. But yeah, it was just very powerful moment and John's impact and all the tributes, people have done for him. It blows me away that, you know, the respect he had in the hockey world. Well, it really is like you, you keep bringing it back to the kids and saying that like all of these things you feel are important because of the kids. You just went to Milan to watch the team, the U.S. men's hockey team play for gold. Yeah. To do that with your kids, to watch the tributes with your kids, to bring them along in all these spaces where they either are getting to see how loved your husband is. It's so special that they get to be there for that and for them to have those moments of affirmation that it's not just that mom wasn't loved with that and that's why she thinks he was so great. It's that he truly was this incredible person who reached so far. Exactly. Exactly. I just, you know, I was telling Noah, especially when we went out to Milan, I was like, you know, these are all daddy's friends. And I think if he was here, he would probably be on this team. We saw, we were watching one of the games on TV just days before I knew I was even going. So I said to her, I was like, you know, she recognizes some of the guys. And I said, you know, I think if daddy would be on that team and those are all his friends. And then when it was time to go to Italy, I said to her, I was like, we're gonna go watch that team play. And, you know, we're doing this is something special we're doing for daddy. And I said, you know, they're doing this because they love and miss daddy too. And I think she kind of can connect the dots there. And she sees like his jersey and she knows that's his, she's only three. So I tried to, you know, give her a little bit of credit, but she can read number 13. Mm-hmm. And, you know, she knows that's, I was like, that's for him and these are all his friends and they love and miss him too. And this is something special we're doing for him. And she's starting to seem like very proud of that stuff. She should be. Yeah. Now, I'm sure everyone has seen this, but if you haven't, the players of U.S. Men's Hockey actually skated John's USA jersey around the ice, they also brought your two oldest kids out for the team picture. Yeah. I felt so bad. Carter didn't have the passport. So poor kid, he's going to grow up and be like this too. No, that's, I know. That's honestly. Photoshop and men or something. Yeah. There's technology. We can get him that picture. But you were sleeping. Yeah. You were there. Don't you see yourself right back there? Now, what was it like seeing the guys immediately go and run to get John's jersey? Yeah, that was incredible. I, you know, as time's gone on now, I've saw them honor John the season after the accident and then, you know, I was kind of in the back of my mind, like, okay, it's been two seasons now. But I was like, oh my god, they still have his jersey. And it, like, just meant the world to me when I saw it in the locker room, just in the background of a little interview or something. And then once they won and they had his jersey out, you know, it, those, seeing that is so surreal where I'm like, this is crazy. And then all of a sudden, my sister, Lily, had my phone and she was like, your phone keeps ringing. And I was watching all the guys on the ice and I like see Matthew Kachuk on a cell phone. And then Lily's like, you're just casually on the ice. And I'm like, oh boy. Like, so he called me, he's like, I want to get a picture with the kids. And I was just like, oh my god, that's so cool. I was very proud of John, you know, very proud of the guys for making a special moment for my kids and, you know, have honoring John the way they did. You know, they just won the gold medal. They don't need to be thinking about that right now. But that's such a testament to what type of person and teammate your husband was to think of someone like, personally, who played teams. sports to know the teammates that have stuck with you. Like teammates that will always be like, oh, can you think of your best teammate? Those are the teammates who are always at like the forefront of your brain when you're thinking about sports. And so for them to take the time to be like, oh, this is a priority of ours. We just won the gold, but you know who is here with us. - Right. - To be able to do that again is such a testament to the person your husband is and was. - Yeah, so I was just so proud of John for that and proud of those guys for displaying such classy character, really good role models for my kids and just such great friends. You know, some of those guys were John's teammates from day one. So it just was like, it felt so good and it was heavy, you know, I cried every day so I was crying there, but you know, I can kind of power through a hockey game and I was very proud to support those guys there. Like, you know, being at those games are incredibly hard. I'm looking at John's jersey just draped over the bench and I should remind myself, you know, I'm here because I'm here to honor John and I hear, I'm here because I'm gonna support these guys that have done so much to support us. And I'm here to show the kids, you know, how special their father is. And, you know, I've just, out of our situation, I have to make the most of it and that's, that's gonna be a hard one to beat. - Now, what did Noah and Johnny say about it afterwards? Were they excited that they got to go out on the ice? - I was so proud of them, especially because Noah used to hate going out. - Yes. - I did have a mom moment watching it of like, is anyone gonna cry? - Because I couldn't believe it. - Even like, even Johnny is how old? That was the second birthday. - That's right. Okay, so two years old, my recent three year old, if anyone were to ever take her away from me, even if it was like in a moment of like excitement, she would have lost her damn mind. So I was watching and I was like, I know. - Wow, guys, even did it go. - The bright lights. - Yes, obviously the ring, crowd. - Yes, they nailed it. They did a great job. - I was like, okay, let's just go for it. Boop. I have videos of Noah like whaling on the ice. - Of course you do. - And I was like, they're gonna go really slow. So I think she just knew I was like, hey, they wanna take a picture with you, she knows Zach well. So I'm like, 'cause he's gonna come hold you. - Yes. - And she just went right out there. Johnny, I was very nervous for her. He is, he's the one where he's not gonna go with the flow. - Sure. - And he mourned you with the not good sleeping situation. He mourned you that he was-- - And it's so funny 'cause when we look at his smile and he's like, but it's like, I'm not sure if he wasn't freaking out. - So he was in a great, and I really, my mom being clicked in on that one, I was like, is there anyone gonna? - Okay. - And everyone just went with it. - He did great. - And it was outstanding. - I hope that's not his last time on some Olympic ice. I was like, get used to this. So enjoy this feeling. - Yeah. - Do it yourself. - Right. - We'll be back here. - And Carter loved it too, right? - He was watching from home, he did. - No, he loved it. - He loved it. - Yeah, he did. - Yeah, he did. - You just can't see me. He was so small back then. - He's so little, he's just a little baby, and he's in that picture. You can't see him 'cause it's all the big high guys. - Yeah. - Nobody. - Yeah. - Carter and Blast. - No, that's, it's not a poor guy situation. That's a very normal, 'cause think about it. As difficult as it was to do the hours. - He's a little nice. - He's, so we'll Photoshop a man. - He is like, he'll never know. - He's just like the third one that can, he can already keep up with the bigger kids. - Yes. - And my big kids are two and three, but he's like, I'm in it now. - He's like, getting there, I'm like, oh my God, you're gonna be that one. - Now, everyone has said, John would have been there on the ice. How important were the Olympics to John? - Yeah, that was the big goal. You know, two years ago, it was circled on his calendar. Like, he started working hard to get to that moment. I remember it was our honeymoon and we, he had like, step away and take like a big phone call for the potential opportunity for the Olympics, which would have been 2022. It obviously was canceled. So he kept missing the opportunity. So I knew how big this one meant for him. So just when it all came together, I was like, you know, this is, to me, it was like, okay, you made it. Like, you know, he, they made like a big deal of everyone getting the phone call and I was watching all those videos just thinking like, wow, like I wonder if John would have gotten the call. And then, as it all came to be, I was like, of course he would have, like, look at this. So, I'm very proud of him because you did it. He did. And you and your sister-in-law, Madeline, have also started the Johnny and Matthew Goodrow Foundation. - Yeah. - Can you tell me a little bit more about that? - Yeah, we started a foundation in their honor to just give back to youth hockey players and other families that are faced with tragedy. Johnny and Maddie were very involved in the youth hockey world. Maddie was coaching and John would do things with him. And it was never lost on them. Like how expensive it is to have hockey as your hobby as, you know, even for, you have to play obviously when you're so young and it's like a whole family commitment traveling to the games and the tournaments and the equipment's expensive. So, our foundation, you know, aims to give back to you, to hockey and we've already started giving back some grants. So, it just feels good. We've had so much support and we haven't even had a fundraiser of our own and just to be at a point where we're already able to write some grants and give back has been, you know, special, it's, it feels good. And what's next for you? Carter's first birthday is in a few weeks. So, you know, why are birthday so emotional for your kids? I, I just some like canceling April 1st. Like I don't want him to turn one. It's just so weird. If you don't mind, if you could cancel March 30th while you're at it, 'cause that's our youngest first birthday. It's, it's lame. Joint birthday party. It's pretty lame. A joint birthday avoidance party, sure. Cancel, cancel, so I just, I know I just want to like really slow down and enjoy every single moment with my kids. You know, I feel like every day I'm just reminded, like, you know, it goes fast and just to so good up when I'm like, oh my god, get me to seven o'clock. I'm like, no, this is, let's enjoy this. I have a clock, witching hour. I just want to really slow down and enjoy my babies while they're babies, 'cause she's three, and I'm like, no, you're baby. Do you know that's, that I've talked about on the show that kindergarten got me, not because she was going kindergarten, but because my brain said that it was her starting school for the rest of her life until she leaves me, which is super logical and rational. Oh, I know. I am mad, I lost my mind. I'm like, can't do this. No, they should just stay a little forever. I found myself like around my house doing a lot of crazy things to like not let go of the baby stuff. Like I had Johnny, he's like my big one. I had him in like the baby insert in the tub for like way too long. He was like, like looked like buddy the elf in the tub. It's so funny, but then for Carter, I was changing him still in like a little basket. He's like hanging out of it. I was like, no, no, no, you fit. Yeah, he's like can almost walk. I'm like getting your basket just like weird things. I'm doing like, whoa, I gotta, I gotta start accepting that they're growing up. But though I tell my six year old still, I'm like, you're always my baby. And she's like, I'm not a baby. I'm a big kid. I'm like, you want a baby. That's how Noah is. Yeah. I'm a big girl. You'll always be my baby. Yeah. Yep. Funny thing. You're actually not. You are. Tiny baby. Yeah. I'm doing a lot of weird things. I'm like, oh my god, don't let anyone see me do this. I had like, you know, Johnny stole like, he's one of the, he insists on a bottle. But um, the Olympics, he like had his bottle. Yes. And I go up the camera. The mom's on Instagram. We're going to come for me that makes a second birthday. He's got his bottle in his hand. There are the same people who are coming for me for saying my three year old needs to kick the, the passie this year. No. We're fine. Thank you. We're fine. Totally good. Um, now I do want to ask you one more question. and for the people out there who also might be in tough situations or going through hard times, what is the best piece of advice you've received on handling grief? I would say just write things down. Memories, stories, if somebody tells you a nice story write it down because grief just has this way of like taking over your body, your memory. I have like so much brain fog from grief, but I find things I've written down, I can go back and read, it just all comes back and or some of it, so like I don't remember that, but thank God I wrote that down. That would be my big thing. I'm kind of obsessed right now. I'm trying to like just preserve all memories for my kids. So I'm writing down everything. And that would be my biggest pieces because going back and having that to read is like what you wanna do at the end of your day. And it's heartwarming just, you know, the end of the day when the kids are asleep and just time for yourself, you just think about that person and you can, if you have what you wrote down, you're not gonna remember it as well as you will when you take the time to sit and just write out the details. I cannot thank you enough for coming to talk today. One of the things that we touched on was the John and Matthew Gurdrow Foundation. It's at www.JohnandMaddie.org. I'm assuming the best way to support right now is to donate so that you guys can continue giving out grants. Yeah, exactly, thank you. Yeah, of course. Thank you so much for coming. I know you don't need to be told this, but you doing what you're doing, having these conversations allows John to continue to live on. And of course, that gives your kids the opportunity to continue to see how far he has reached. So thank you so much for coming to talk to us. Thank you for having me. It was fun. And we'll see each other at the shore. Yeah, I can't wait, perfect. And that's a wrap on this week's episode of Knock and a Lie. You can find even more clips for my longer conversation with Meredith on my YouTube channel on MoreShit Monday. Reminder, no new NGL next week, but we will be back the following week with my one-year postpartum special. Send in your questions real once, follow us on social media @NGL with Kylie for clips throughout the week. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Knock and a Lie is a wave original brought to you by DoorDash. Thanks to the real ones for tuning in. (upbeat music)