Kylie & Meghan Trainor on Ultimate Toddler Tantrum Hack, Keeping The Spark Alive & Surrogacy Reality | Ep. 62

(suspenseful music) Wave. I'm not gonna lie, I have convinced my children that potty talk are bad words because I'm so sick of hearing it at the dinner table. Why it calls it the D word? And I keep thinking she gets me every time, every single time, I'm like, is she about to say, (beep) and then she says, die, Rhea. It's incredible, I love it so much. Let's get this podcast started. (upbeat music) Welcome back to Not Gonna Lie, a Wave original brought to you by Tax Act. I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey, tomato pie enthusiast, shout out to Carly Nose 'cause that's the only right answer. So superstitious that when I'm walking with a group, I yell at everybody not to split the polls. And I'm not joking, guys, it happened again. Our new puppy has another name. And by that I mean her official name. This gives you a glimpse into what it's like when Jason and I tried to name a child. But cheeks, every time but cheeks. Bernadette was a great name. It was actually in the running for a child. We thought to ourselves, maybe we'll name one of our daughters. Bernadette, I love that name. I love the nickname Bernie. I think it's a great nickname. And then we said, like you heard last week, Matilda, Call her Maddie and Patty. That wasn't gonna work out. First of all, I think Maddie and Patty might just be too close together. And now we've landed on Freddie, F-R-E-D-D-I-E. I'm going I-E. Jason's first shirt gonna spell it with a Y. He still spells Benny's name with a Y. We're not in agreement on that. Luckily, lucky for her, I fill out all the paperwork. So suck it. He just likes things that are straightforward. Anyway, Freddie is the puppy's name. That's it. There is no more naming the puppy. The puppy's name is Freddie. The girls are very excited that her name is Freddie. Ellie is very excited to introduce her to everyone. Why it could care less as per usual. And the dogs are looking to their fearless leader, Benny, to tell them what the heck to do. Finn likes to tickle their toes and then gets pissed when they try to lick her face. It's going great. Coming up on today's episode, I'm going to get honest about my first real spring break as a parent plus I'm answering even more of the real ones questions, including ones about how to keep the spark alive. Oh no. There's also a new viral TikTok trend involving the name Jessica. Queen Emma thinks I'm going to be in on it. Let's check it out. After that, I'm going to be joined by Grammy winning singer, songwriter, and fellow mom, who is about to release her seventh studio album. Somebody, I yet again, have no business talking to. It's Meghan Trainor. But before we get to all that, let's start with a quick NGL announcement. This announcement is also a new place Kylie has no business being on the official list of Webby Award nominees. That's right. NGL has been nominated for two Webby Awards, best new podcast and best partnership or collaboration for our Disney episode with my mother and my daughter. Queen Emma wants you guys to vote for NGL. You can vote at the link vote webbyawards.com. You can vote for us in both categories by April 16th. But if you're busy, that's OK. I'm joking. Queen Emma wants you guys to vote. I also want you to vote because this is something that acknowledges the efforts of our entire team at NGL, which, guys, it's the whole team. Wow, I quoted my husband. It's the whole team. Look at that. How beautiful. Such a smart guy. Next order of business, real one comment of the week. And our real one comment actually comes from the other podcasts official Instagram account. It says 62 minutes because 62 is a pretty cool number just saying, I know what happened here. Queen Emma is not being slick or sly. I know you texted Jake. I know you texted Judge Jake. This was unsolicited Judge Jake. He's a real one. I need to have-- I need to have words with Judge Jake. He knows good numbers when he sees them. 62 is a great number. OK. You can't deny it. I can't deny that 62 is a great number. I can't deny that. What I can deny is any extra minutes for you this week. Fuck. I knew this would backfire. [SIGHS] This, of course, is in response to our recent fan vote about how long our episodes should be going forward. 76% said 48 minutes. They didn't. That's incorrect. I'll just nurse that. She's lying to your face. This is not can lie. You just don't lie. You're right. That's fair. I was just pulling a prank. Um, uh, the two options were a cool 60 or 48 minutes. 76% of you said a cool 60. And 24% of you said 48 minutes. Now, of course, as with every time we bring up the cool 60 issue, there's a note from the desk of Queen Emma. It says, hey, girl, it is episode 62. Should we just say the episodes are 62 minutes going forward? Come on, let's put this whole mess behind us. It's not about winning or losing even though I won. It's about the real ones we met along the way. It's kind of profound. What a crazy way to walk yourself face first into 48 minutes this week. We'll see. All right, now that that's been handled, let's get honest. This week, can I be honest, about spring break as a parent? We had two weeks off for spring break. And I am in the minority here. I do think that I'm in the minority. I love it. I love it. I love time off with the kids. I love when we get to be lazy and have a day in our pajamas. I love when I don't have to wake them up in the morning. It excites my soul. We, uh, besides the family vacation, we had a birthday bash, the birthday bash was for Wyatt and Ellie. Wyatt's birthday was back in October, but I love a fresh air birthday party. I like going outside. It was not a nice day. Shout out to all of the guests that we had that just toughed out because it wasn't nice. But it was lovely. We had an inflatable. We had face painting and a balloon artist. They were outstanding. We had a petting zoo. It was for me. It wasn't even for children. It was for me. I told the petting zoo that they were there for me. Now, one of the things that spring break really kicks off to me is preparing for summertime and warm weather. The thing that comes with spring is starting spring sports. So we have tried soccer in the past. I think we're going to try and get into some tea ball. One sport that Wyatt is getting to try out is golf. The other podcast, I think, had a clip of her golfing. All right, let's show off. Show off the mom. Look at her. My girl. Jason took Wyatt to the driving range and Wyatt came back in last night and set with an ice cream in her hand. And she said, I won golf. To be fair, after seeing the clip that my niece sent me, I was like, yeah, you kind of did. When golf, that was an outstanding drive. The issue is is that he only took one child. She came back with ice cream. And they had no more ice cream. Interesting. So then Jason said, what's wrong when they came in and she was standing in the doorway with her ice cream staring at her sisters with a smirk on her face. And I said, well, it's one thing to take the child out of the house for individual attention and solo time with dad activity. It's another thing to come back in the house with the ice cream. And he was like, you're right. And I said, that was a finish it in the car and don't get out until that happens. Come in the house with no ice cream at all. Because even if she comes in and tells her sisters that she ate the ice cream, it's still better than eating it in their faces. And when Benny looked at her and said, can I have a taste? She looked at her and said, no. She's ruthless. That one. I was very proud of her swing. She had great rotation. Her swing was smooth. And I am hopeful that she will not only stick with golf, but notice that those skills are somewhat transferable to field hockey. A girl can dream. And that's it for "Can I Be Honest?" Next, the real one sent in so many questions last week. I'm bringing back, ask me some things because ask me anything needs boundaries. I'm looking at all of ya. Ask me some things is brought to you by Toyota. Let's go places. First up, from Hughes, McKenzie. How to keep the spark alive in a 10-year relationship? That's a good question. Um. Jason, I need to do better at date nights. Okay, we need to. I will say, I think the key is. is that you should always be dating your spouse. You're always dating, like always. And I don't mean that in just going on date nights. I mean, I actually give my husband shit if he walks past me in the kitchen and doesn't like grab my ass. I flirt with me. I'm a flirt with you. You better flirt with me. And so, all I'm saying is, you should still be dating. And by dating, I mean the flirty, sweet affection, that type of thing, that should still be happening. That's how you keep the spark alive. And also, go and eat food together 'cause it's nice to go out and for 20 minutes, talk about something other than your kids and then revert back to only talking about your kids. It's sweet and it's nice and. It's nice to do it without getting interrupted with mom, mom, mom, dad, dad, dad. That'll keep your spark alive. And our last question is in honor of April being autism acceptance month. Could you help the neurotypical adult on ways to help when we see a single parent in public potentially dealing with a tough situation? Yes, the difficult part of this question is that there is an explanation for individuals with autism that is when you've met one person with autism, you have met one person with autism. And that phrase means that every single person on the autism spectrum is completely different. And you can't assume that people who are diagnosed with autism will handle situations the same way or will have the same behaviors or reactions to a certain situation. A lot of people associate headphones or noise cancelling headphones with children with autism. Tim, for example, my neighbor/brother who I grew up with, he loves odd noises, loves them. He wants to hear the lawnmower, wants to hear the vacuum, wants to go and watch all of the loud construction equipment. He loves that. So it's very much headphones and noise cancelling headphones have become indicative of a child with autism or sensory needs. But there are so many kids who are on the autism spectrum who love loud noises. When it comes to a situation that you may see in public, don't stare, let's start there. I think it's okay to ask if there's any way that you can help, but don't assume that that parent is gonna answer you. If you offer that and the parent doesn't answer, you just need to be prepared to recognize that that was not meant to be offensive, that they were not ignoring you because they thought you were rude for interrupting, that they are handling something. So people who want to always take out their phone and record a situation, you're an asshole, really simple. J. Well said it last summer when we talked. It just doesn't make any sense. That someone's having a really hard time and your first thought is to take a phone out. So I think that it's okay to ask the parent in that moment if there's anything that you could do or if you need help. What I will say is I would keep it to one question and then I would walk away if the answer is no or if they don't answer you. If they say yes, do exactly what they ask. What I will say is you should plan to have no engagement with that child that's having a meltdown or a moment of difficulty that it might be a situation where it's like, can you hold this child if they have another child with them? Or can you like move my cart over? But the child that is having a tough time is probably not going to want to be touched by a stranger, is probably not going to want to be acknowledged by a stranger. And quite honestly, sometimes when individuals who are on the autism spectrum get deep into a meltdown, they're not even going to notice you're there. So that is not helpful. I would be really receptive to know what parents would say if they have a neurodivergent child and have experienced moments in public, what they would feel is helpful. So if you're a parent of a neurodivergent child and you have a recommendation of how you would feel helped in a situation in public where your child may be having a tough time or a meltdown, please tag us at NGO with Kylie because I would love to know so that maybe we can share a couple suggestions. That's it for Ask Me Some Things brought to you by Toyota. All right, moving on. Let's get to Doom Scroll the Week brought to you by yeso. First up, this is a new trend going around where parents are calling in some outside help when trans, when tantrums go down. - Bye-bye. - Jessica, come here. (laughs) - Come here, Jessica. He's crying. Come here. Now. - Are you going to stop crying because Jessica's coming. - She says, "Sol another mom on here." - Jessica? - Jessica during a tantrum. - Yeah. - She said, "Yeah." - I love that this is just to disrupt the crying and to cause confusion. The mom that did it that I saw, which I believe was the original, her child was coming towards her in a screaming crying fit and she yelled, " Jessica! Jessica! Jessica! Jessica! Jessica! Jessica! Where are you? - Where are you? - Jessica! - And the child was her face said, Who the fuck is Jessica? And I love that. I love that so much. I have not tried this tactic, but maybe I will, because I have four children and at any given time, at least one of them is probably crying. We're happy in our house I swear. I am a big proponent of when a child is crying, I will tell them, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's my turn. But no, my turn. Ma, ha, ha, ha. Okay, your turn. And then they do it again. And then I will say, oh, okay, that's it. Okay, now it's my turn. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Your turn. And we will literally pass it back and forth until I can get them to think it's funny. First of all, cathartic, because it feels nice to let a few cries go, even if they're playful cries yourself in that moment. But it does disrupt the tantrum, whatever you can do to redirect in those moments is ideal. If you're not going to try Jessica, please try passing the cry, because I want to know how it works for you. And last scroll, real ones, you know I'd never lie to you, but I will lie to my children. And so will this mom, who actually might be a genius. Let's see it, Queen Emma. Ain't no particular order. Number one, I gave my kids the choice of a nap for one hour or 60 minutes. They always picked one hour because one is less than 60. If you want to cry over nothing, you can sit in the cry chair and cry as long as you want to. But I'm not going to engage with you while you're sitting in the cry chair. Whenever you're done crying, you can get up. It's not a timeout chair. It's just a cry chair. When potty training, if your child potty's in the potty, they get a skittle or an M and M. But if you have to change the diaper, you get the treat. Yes, it works like a charm. I told my children that the DVD player in the car only worked on very long road trips. I think we're parenting the same day that anytime they brought home a sad face from school, they had to write their teacher an apology note. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. I go to her TED Talk every day. That, I think we read the same parenting book. That's a joke because I didn't read a single parenting book. But yes, a million times yes. Let me tell you what I love. I'm going to go backwards. I love the idea of if you get a frowny face from school, that you're going to write an apology note to that teacher. It's a privilege being at school. You better act like it. You are not going to mistreat the teacher who has studied and figured out how best to teach your entire class of absolute hooligans, OK? Immediately know. And yes to that apology letter. Everybody knows the TV only works on long car rides. I love that. I support that wholeheartedly. Now, I'm a big proponent of M&M's as the reward for the potty. When we're potty training, the idea of if you do it in your diaper, it's now my treat. I don't know why I didn't think of that sooner. I'm so in on that. I am so in on that because nothing irks my kids more than when mom has chocolate in her mouth and they don't. And also, they sniffed that out from my way. Yesterday I put a chicken nugget in my mouth and then it goes, "What's that in your mouth?" And I said, "It's a chicken nugget. It's the same thing that you have on your dinner plate right now." And she goes, "Ha, I thought it was chocolate." Goral, it's a chicken nugget. I love the cry chair. I love the cry chair because we often get into a situation where we feel so bad about the fact that we're having a consequence, aka the time out step. That we end up cry, cry, crying. And we have to come to an agreement that your time out timer is up. But you are not getting off that step until you can calm yourself down. So maybe they need to migrate from the time out step when their timer is up to the cry chair. Not a bad idea. I might start that. Not like I just said, I may lie to my children, but you know who will never lie? Yes so. 'Cause let's be honest, we've all been burned by healthy pints in the past. But it's time to ditch 'em because yes so is the real deal. Their creamy frozen Greek yogurt is full proof and actually delicious. Now through April 30th, yes so is hosting a nationwide giveaway of 40,001 of their new Spoonables. head to yeso.com/kiley to enter and upgrade your freezer. And that does it for Doom Scroll the Week, brought to you by yes. So coming up, I'm about to be joined by Megan Trainor right after these messages from me. It's April 9th and everybody knows what that means. One week left to do your taxes. Luckily for all of the other busy parents out there, tax act is the easiest way to get them done. I couldn't even tell you where to start if I had to do my taxes myself. Tax act makes filing easy with the step-by-step guidance we need. And it gives you tax tips throughout the filing process to help you along the way. They even offer three different filing options. Do it yourself, expert assist, and expert full service. With expert assist, you can talk to credentialed tax experts located right here in the US so you're never truly alone filing your taxes. Plus with tax act, your maximum refund is guaranteed. You won't find a bear refund with any other tax filing software. Tax act is a solution that makes it simple and easy to tackle even the most complicated taxes. Tax act, the simplest, easiest way to get your taxes done. Visit taxact.com/kiley today. Yes, so is ridiculously creamy frozen Greek yogurt that's actually delicious. Their newest product is their Spoonables available in five delicious flavors. Chocolate chip cookie dough, cookies and cream, fudge brownie, minchocolate chip, and coffee chocolate chip. If you eat ice cream by the pint, the way my husband does, then these are the perfect solution for you. I absolutely would go with either chocolate chip cookie dough or minchocolate chip. Let's be real. Most healthy pines have burned you in the past. You've been fooled. Lied to taste bud betrayed. Time to ditch the freezer frauds because yes, so is the real deal. And now through April 30th, yes, so is hosting a nationwide giveaway of 40,000 and one of their new Spoonables. Head to yeso.com/kiley to enter an upgrade your freezer. Find new yeso Spoonables at grocery stores nationwide. Yes, so awarded as product coupons. No purchase necessary open to 50 US States and DC must be 18 or older and 11, 59 PM Eastern time on 430. Rules at www.yeso.com/kiley. She's a Grammy winning diamond certified singer songwriter. You know from such bangers as all about that base. No excuses and mother. And now she's got a brand new album toy with me coming out April 24th. She's also an author, a fellow mom. And now she's not going to lie. Megan trainer, welcome to the show. - Thanks so much for having me. Congrats on your show. I love it. - Thank you. This is such an honor to chat with you. First of all, pre kids, huge fan. And now, seeing all of the first of all, loving on your boys. And then you guys just had a peanut, a little chicken. - I got it. - How are you? - I'm tired. - I'm so good though. I'm happy. I'm just like, oh, it's the transition period. You know when each kid, when you go from one to two and two from three, I'm in the two to three. And I'm like, ah, man, we are so silly thinking this would be easier. You know, what was your hardest transition? - One to two rocked us. - Really? - Yeah, I thought we were so good with one that we were like, this is a piece of cake. We had the trick baby. He was just like, sleep trained, nailed it. Just like, we're killing this. - And then we were parents us. We were like, let's have four. Then we had two. And I was like, something's wrong. Like, this one's crying. And then I won a three because I'm silly. And I always wanted a daughter too. And once I found out I couldn't get, like, I shouldn't do it myself. And we should have a surrogate and do it a safer way. I was like, can I pick? And they're like, yeah, guess if you want to pick the gender. And I was like, the girl, please. - So beautiful. - That's beautiful. - That's so exciting. Now, like I said in your intro, your album toy with me comes out April 24th. I am blessed you got to be excited. - Thank you so much. - I have to say the first two singles, don't care and getting girl couldn't be more aligned with this podcast. I mean, not caring what other people think. First of all, outstanding. Fuck and tell them. And women's supporting women. - Yes. - Getting girl is just, oh, you need to take them down? - Let's do it. - Let's do it together. - With the car. We're just, yep, yep, mm-hmm. Love it. Now, people tend to talk shit, no matter what you do. - Yeah. - So you wrote a song. And basically said, you couldn't find a single fuck to give. - I did. - Tell us about it. - Tell us about it. - Oh, 'cause I cared so much. I gave all the fucks. I cared so much. Oh my God, I was so sad. I never had that much attention on me online. And it was never, I don't know. It was really loud and highlighted in all about my body. And I was like, whoa, I've been working so hard on my health and taking care of myself, being a mom, like trying to live forever, and like finally being a little more comfortable on my own skin with all my stretch marks and scars. And then I just get attacked so viciously, so loud. So I also was, at the same time, I knew my daughter was gonna come to the world soon. No one else knew, but I knew I was like, I have a baby girl coming and this is how I'm feeling. And they're like, get ready. Again, I'm mostly ready to have a daughter. And I was like, I'm crumbling more than ever. So I wanted to write songs for her that once you got here, I could play her this in middle school and be like, it's okay girl, I got you. - It really is nuts. And we've talked about a lot on this show about how concerned other people are with what individuals are doing. And as if it impacts them at all, but even more so, as if it impacts them negatively, that they've put so much power into what you are doing. And it is insane that people think that that's an attack on them or that you're going back on your word. All about that base still hits so fucking hard. - I still do it every day. And when I perform it to, like, I'm not a size two right now, but I changed the lyrics to, I got some new boobs 'cause I did. I got new boobs and I'm very open to ask about everything I've done. So, I sing that part. - I recently said that once I know for sure that we are done having children, you can bet your bond dollar. I'm gonna get my boobs put back where they were. - Is the best thing I've ever done? - I love them so much. - I've seen you talk about them and I was like, thank you so much for saying that. - Yeah, I got you. - But you not only made it for your daughter, you made it for other people's daughters. So, thank you for that. - Yeah. - I get a lot of them moms out there, ever since all of that base that are like my daughter couldn't leave the house until that song came out and I was like, well, I have a superpower and I must use it for good, you know? So, every album I try to do those. - If you need help ever when you read a bad comment or someone, AI wants to write an article, you, I will give you the power, the power that I have. It's not as strong as your power. Let me be clear. It is a drop in the bucket compared to the power that you wield. We have a graphic on here and when I go like this it goes suck my ass. - Oh, I love saying that. - So, whenever you feel the need, you can just, there it is, suck my ass. - Suck my ass. - I say that when I get really mad. - Good, you should because sometimes people need to hear that. They need to receive that because they've earned it. Here's the deal. I can't thank you enough for being open and honest about it and for being an example, because like I said, our four little chicas, all of ours are girls. I know. We need them to have this safe space in the world. And so, I really, really appreciate you. - Thank you. - Anytime they want to go to show, let me know. - Done. They will be, they will be on the side of the stage like you need me, you need me now. I have two that I have two that I swear to God, one in particular, our third batch. crazy will find like a spotlight anywhere she goes and it's just in the corner like this by herself and I'm like hey Ben I need you to I need you to get down girl. I need you to get off that. None of my boys are like dancing or singing they're like little wizards. One of my boys knows all the countries and all the states and all the continents and I'm like but what about chords? Maybe what about five six seven eight? This is great because then I'll know who to cheat off of geography is not my strong suit. Yeah me either. I was like are you doing this to like make fun of me? You're trying to flex on for sure. Yeah. Now back to the new album. What else can you say about it? I have like 16 songs on this album. Two songs already out still don't care and getting girl getting girl is written about a real-life breakup that happened in my family. I don't want to name names because I don't want them to feel bad but then how they are and it happened during in the middle of my tour and it was like a big heartbreak because like a divorce or like a breakup in your family is like a death. So watching that go down was so sad and so I wrote getting girl to help my family member like get back up you know because they were really in the cycle of living through it still and I was like let's move on and let's start our lives now and then my next song after that shimmer which I can't wait for everyone to hear it's gonna be so good. It's my dance pop like comedy banger that's like kind of like me too like if I was you I learn it maybe too but this girl says I don't sweat now a shimmer it says she's a sassy queen that just wants to dance and sweat and shimmer. Oh well Betty will be all over that my third child will be all over that. She's gonna love it. Um little one rude. Wait did you hear anything rude. Did you hear stuff? They sent us they sent us rude okay okay I was going to say and then I have a song little one I've been telling everyone about this song this song it's for my babies and nobody's understood it and I played it for a lot of rooms and I start with anyone parents here and then they're all like no and I'm like ah I'm gonna have a pet you know but you get me Glean it's my song for my babies I want them to stop. I listen to it in the car. It wasn't crying. I mean that's for me to know and for the person next to me of that red light to also know okay that was ridiculous how dare you that was rude. I was like crying while writing it. I was like this is the saddest thing I've ever heard. The craziest part is that it felt like you were in my internal dialogue because they tell my kids all the time don't you grow up on me don't grow up on me it's a trap don't grow up don't you can say little you can say little forever. How dare you that's so so I had to do it. I was like I was like what's it like me and I'm like this song this song is what is like I want you to stay little and I mean the like even just like half of my heart lives are you kidding me. Half of my heart lives outside of my body and the other half lives in my chest and I want you to see the world but also don't I don't want to see you get hurt. Come on. Come on. I can and then like how old are how old you're oldest. Six years old. I have six five three and one. What's that math? What are you doing? Are you okay? Doing a lot of kids and to answer your question to answer your question. No. No. No. I am not okay. You nailed that one. You really put everyone's feelings into words I think and I think when everyone heals it here's it they will agree and also bring a box of tissues. I know I can't wait for the TikTok videos with older babies. You got me so good. And honestly I just that's so funny. You say that I thought to myself. This one's this one's going to hit. You got to hear this song. I'm like promoting it all the song. You got to hear this song I wrote my last album called Super Woman because it is about being a mom too and being a hard working mama that's like everyone looks at me like wow you are doing so well you're everything's amazing for you. Congrats and I'm like really because I feel like superwoman flying in the rain and I feel like everything's going wrong. I've heard that song. Now you're about to go ahead and tour again. The Getting Girl tour starts June. Yeah. We're gonna rock it and just have me and my dancers again. Am I bringing some guy dancers? Switch it up. I notice a lot of parents bring their kids and my shows for their first concert ever. So I'm trying to make like the kids happy and also my old fan older fans happy. I can't please everyone but it's gonna be really fun night where you can just escape all your worries and all your scary mom thoughts and you can just come out and dance. Let's do it. Now you have Philly D. I have it marked on my calendar. July 18th now. Yeah, be honest. How do you feel about a Philly crowd? Oh they're the best. My manager is from Philly. Maggie. She's from Philly. Yeah. And she gave me my IVF injections for me so she created Mikey. And she, her mom's name Mikey and that's why I first heard the name. I was like this one's for you. But yeah, every time we're in Philly it's like our hometown performance because of my manager. Her whole family comes out. I love that so much. They're hooting and hollering for you. Oh yeah, they're loud. We're a little nuts and I say that because I'm one of them. And yeah, I'm gonna be one of them. I'm an East Coaster. So like I understand you guys very well. You know, Massachusetts close enough. Are you a Patriots fan? I don't watch too many sports. Oh, we went British. I don't watch sports. But I do sports things. And so I grew up my brothers were like olpats. So that's why I know of them. Okay, that's why I know of that football team that plays here where I grew up. Uh-huh. I did them a big game commercial. Let's stay farm. Pat my homes. I did it. I love your, your terms. God. I can't say big. I go say big games. I can't say bleep that. Somebody bleep that. King Brad bleep that. It's the big game. If you're a real one, you know all about my reluctance to get a minivan. That's right. I did them all one. Jason one-on-one. Then we got one. And now now it's been over here with our Toyota Sienna. And honestly, I think there might be no turning back. I don't tell my husband. The girls just had spring break and we took our Sienna everywhere. The girls love that they get in independently because it's not too high up and they get to press the button to open the door. They get to buckle themselves in their seats. It gives us a sense of independent women. I also literally can't lie. I do love the Sienna's features. I don't have to tell you about the crumbs in your car. I don't have to tell you because they steer you in the face every time that door opens. But they don't steer me in the face that often because I have a vacuum built into my car. So if you're looking for not only a great car to get you from point A to point B, but also with enough space that you can quite literally fit everyone, including the dogs. I highly recommend the Toyota Sienna. And going for a test drive at your local Toyota dealership, you can learn more at toyota.com/sienna. And remember, it's not the places we go, but the people we go with that matter. As the seasons change, Paul and gets kicked up. Germs spread and the girls have so many more after school activities and sports starting right now. And if any of my kids are following the footsteps of their dear mother, I can promise you we're going to have some seasonal allergies kicking up here because I already want to itch my eyeballs out of my face. The CBS Health app is a single place to handle healthcare needs. 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That's 20% off your first purchase with code NGL. at liquidIV.com. - Since we're already talking about our kids, I'd love to ask you some more about motherhood. I saw you talking to Jennifer Hudson about your oldest loving school and how he doesn't wanna come home. How's that make you feel? - I was scared about my kid in school for so many reasons. I didn't have a good at school experience. And then everyone was like, "You can't put your trauma on your kid." And I was like, "You right." And then every social event we did with him, he was like, "I'm good." Like he would run away. Like he never, he didn't look like we wanted to make friends and that made me nervous. I was like, "Oh man." And then he didn't speak till he was three. So for so long, we were like, "Are you in there?" And now he's like the smartest kid, all the kids at school are like, "Viley, Riley, they all wanna hang out with him." And he's like one of the top readers. - It's so beautiful that he loves it. - I will tell you that I, when my oldest started school, that I was upset about it, not because she was starting school and I was concerned about her because she's one of our, she's our social butterfly. She's like, "I'm gonna go to school. I'm gonna have this class in tip top shape. I'm gonna be a reader. I'm gonna tell him what to do. I'm gonna boss him around like I boss around my sisters." And I'm like, "Yes." Well, let's not do that. We'll speak cool for a minute. But when she started school, it was not that she was starting kindergarten. It was not that I was nervous for her. It was that she was starting school to be in school for the rest of her life until she leaves me. - Yeah, this is it. - And I was like, why would you do that? That feels like-- - Why would you take him away? That feels like you should stay little. - Right, my boy's so sensitive that every morning before school, he's gonna kill me one day. But we do kissing hands from this book. I read, I guess, stop it with the raccoons and you wrap it up. You get out of here. - Every day, if I don't give him a kissing handrail, he won't survive the day. I keep using me as writing wall. - He goes, huh, huh. And he puts it on his heart. He's like, "Because you're always in my heart with me always wherever I go." I'm like, "For real, you too." And then I, he kisses his hands. He kisses my hands. And I go, "Ah, like that. We do this every morning." And there's-- - That was beautiful. - They're great, I love. It's great. - I would just, I want to know, those are the things, what I want to know about school, I want to be a fly on the wall. 'Cause I want to know the moment during the day that he has a tough second. And he's like, "You know what?" Let me, I have my kissing hands and I can have them from mom. - I want to see the kissing hands in action. - I want to see it. - Also, my kids-- - I'm nosy. - I noticed in the first two months, my kid found out what the nurse's office was. I said, "Why you keep going home with his yellow paper? Are you at the nurse's office again?" And he was like, "Yeah, I like it there." And I was like, "Riley!" - Did you know that-- - Did I like crackers and ice in there? - Yeah, dude. I was like, "Buddy, you don't have to go every day." He's like, "But I fell down." And I was like, "Riley?" - She's got crackers and ice. - Now, I wanted to play a clip that you posted of your little girl for International Women's Day because like all great TikToks, it comes with a top-tier comment section. So, queen Emma. ♪ And I'm on your 3, getting girl, getting girl, get your final set ♪ - Okay, first of all, squishy babies. - Nice, good to see you. - If you're gonna tell me about the comment section, just know that I have never read it. - Perfect. You know what? Protect your piece. Hell, you-- - I was like, "Wait!" before you ruined my day with what they said. - Nope, nope, nope, I'm only-- I have three comments for you, okay? - Three comments. - Three comments. And I'm gonna tell you this is in solidarity. Okay, so I'm with you on this one. First comment is, "Dad's jeans are strong." - LOL. - Oh, thank God. - Wait, I'm not done. The way you manage to have three clones of Darryl is the next comment. And third one, literally her daddy's twin. - Like, no. (laughs) - As someone who has birthed four humans that regularly, I am told I look like I had nothing to do with it. - Nothing, nothing. How does that comment section feel to you? - Like, I get it 'cause all my kids are redheads. But this one's different. And I agreed, the first two, I was like, "Oh man, they were in me." So like, what have been, but this girl, sometimes everyone lately has been saying, "Oh my God, this one's actually megged." Like, she has megged's eyes. She has my grumpy RBF face, which is resting bitch face, like where she just like looks like, those are giant eyebrows. - Those are giant eyebrows. And so I've been like, this one's mine and my family's been coming over and being like, "Oh my God, this one's megged." And he's actually offended. Like, he's actually like so used to being like, "Oh my God, the kids like this ain't it." That for once, he's like, "No, she like doesn't." I'm like, "Oh, you have set, bro." Imagine getting cut open. And people are going, "Did you even do anything?" - I was like, "Salt in the womb." - You're allowed to be upset. Like, you're not allowed to be upset right from this one, no. - I will tell you, my, our second was behind my husband recently on what we called the other podcast around here. And I will tell you, our second who's normally very sweet she said, "Elly, do you want to go upstairs?" Because she was just standing behind him, putting on her jacket, like nothing was happening and holding the computer and she goes, "No." And everybody in the comments was like, "You know, I don't think Ellie looks like Kylie, but that no was her." And I was like, "Oh my God, hold on." - Oh yeah, my, the five year old who everyone was like, "Daryl is 100% me in all, not my awesome ways though." Like my, I have to finish everything, or else I'm gonna explode and like my anxiety and I'm like, "Oh God, he's me." - And you're like, "You're welcome." - Yeah, those quality traits. - Well, we were just talking about your little girl and you have been very open about welcoming her via surrogate earlier this year, which I found to be incredibly badass because surrogacy is something that people often do not talk about. How was that process for you? - It was crazy. It was, I mean, there's a lot of heartbreak and big decision making to do. And I was struggling with my health and almost towards an autoimmune disease. So there's so many conversations back and forth and then we were like, the safest way is to do it through a surrogate. 'Cause also my babies are always sideways. They laid this way. They weren't up and down. So I always, they're like, "It's gonna be C-sections." And I was just like, my body's still not recovered from the other ones, so many factors that led us to surrogacy and I was scared and I was jealous that I wasn't having my baby and every day my husband's a control freak too. So every day when we knew she was like alive and someone else, we were like, "She okay." You know, like you go cook, you go crazy. There's so much that goes into it, but we had an amazing surrogate who was so good to us and text us everything and we got to talk all the time and I was worried I was bugging her too much 'cause I was like, "Hey, I feel it." And she was just a champ and my doctor walked through everything with us and was a saint about everything and we made sure she got to heal the best way she wanted to, so she pushed her out and she's had C-sections and pushed her out. So this was like a double V-back and my surrogate was such a badass that she did that and my doctor took such a care of her that she texted me recently was like, "My recovery is better than I ever thought it could be and I'm so happy." And I was like, "Oh, it makes me so happy." And I send her pictures every month of like, "Look at Mikey now, she's two months old, look at her." So it was wild, it was scary, we cried a lot but it was like the best thing for our family and I'll tell you what's different is not healing from a C-section with a newborn, that was different. I could be so present with her and with my other kids, they're not like, I don't have to be worried that they're jumping on me or I can pick them up and be fully present. So that was like the good parts but there's a lot of scary parts. - Now I remember when you posted your announcement photo and there were all sorts of outrage from people who frankly don't understand surrogacy, your health or your choices and they don't need to. - Oh, they thought I named her via surrogate. - Yes. - Thank you so much. - You get it. - Now, I wanna start off by saying first of all, suck my ass and it's none of their fucking business. But if you're open to sharing what was your reaction to seeing some of that feedback? - I didn't look, I knew fully. Because it was after all the hate I was already getting just for changing, just for looking different because I took care of myself. So I was like, "All, I hate me now." They ain't gone like this. And it was a cloud of tears every night of just worry and I want my daughter to come to this world and not everyone attacker for the way she got here and all of that went through my head. But my team was with me, my therapist is with me. Everyone was so supportive. My husband was like, "Everyone can suck our ass." And like, this was the healthiest way. And it didn't damper anything. I did my post. I told the world here she isn't, 'cause they warned me like, like it could lead through the hospital. So we were like, we're gonna post and just announce her like we did my other kids. And I was in pure bliss that whole week that first week. I was like, it's out there, it's fine. I'm not looking. And I was in heaven, baby heaven. And my husband's like, honestly, if anyone says stupid shit, your fans come and offend you, other moms are coming to, like they got mad at me apparently for wearing the hospital scrubs when I did skin to skin. They're like, why would you pretend like you gave birth? And I was like, what? And I was like, oh, okay, so they've never been in a hospital. Like they don't know anything about what's going on. And then when I heard they thought I named her via circuit, I was like, okay, I know who I'm dealing with now. I really don't care about their opinion. So that helped a lot. And they said if anyone talks about other moms would come and defend me. So I was like, oh, come on, moms. - Yes, because I truly think that, I think the important thing to remember is that you made a very intentional decision to grow your family. You have the most beautiful baby girl now and that you were able to be healthy through the process. You didn't have to compromise your own health to be able to achieve that. And ultimately, you guys are happy and healthy, and that's what matters. - Very unhealthy. - Yes, and so the idea of acknowledging that if someone's recognizing that you put on a hospital gown to be able to do skin to skin, which would make sense because do you think you're just gonna sit there topless in the hospital? - There's a lot of people in that room. - And for anyone saying like you're pretending that you gave birth because you're doing skin to skin, for all four of our children, my husband has done skin to skin. So if anyone would like to have beef with someone pretending they gave birth, you can take that straight to Jason Kelsey's Instagram comments. Have at it. Say the fuck out of Megan's. - Out of them there, out of so much of them. - Say the fuck out of Megan's. Go to Jason's and be like, "Are you pretending that you gave birth?" Assholes, shut up assholes. Oh gosh, something else we have in common, we've both been brutally honest about pregnancy and postpartum recovery. And you mentioned earlier, postpartum PTSD. You shared that you had some pretty traumatic experiences and were even diagnosed with that. Can you share a little bit more about that? - Yeah, my first baby sideways, well, first baby I had gestational diabetes and I was like, "What is?" Like nobody's telling me about this. And then that was the first time that I was like, "Oh, I have to watch what I put inside my body." Then I had a C section, which I was scared for. I've never had broken a bone or got a stitch in my life. So I went in there asking questions like, "Hey guys, am I gonna feel it or what?" And they were like, "No, no, no." I was like, "Well, I'm gonna feel like movement." Like this table's pretty skinny and they were like, "Now you're fine." And I was dead fish, bro. I was like, "What's this?" And then it's like getting your teeth on. You don't feel it, but you feel things. And then later when the pain comes, your brain goes one plus one equals. So at night, when I would feel the pain laying in bed after the surgery, after the baby's out, I would be like, "Dare, I'm on the table." And he was like, "You're okay, babe." And that's when I would call my doctor and be like, "I'm okay." And then my first baby came out sleeping. And no one has given me a great explanation for it, except that C sections can be dicey and they don't have all their juice squeezed out of them and all that stuff. And they just said, "Respiratory something where he needed help." So he was on all the tubes, a feeding tube, breath tube right to the neck, you. So I lost my husband had to go with him. They said, "You must go with the kid." And I was like, "Okay." So I'm alone getting sewn up for 45 minutes with no music, just hearing myself. And I didn't like that. It was not my favorite, so what my kids say. So I'm not knowing, is he good? Hello, I didn't have a phone. And so after I got put back together again, rolled in a room just with my thoughts and my fear, I was like, "Can anyone find my phone?" And they're like, "Oh my God, yeah." And then he facetime me and I met my son over facetime. And then I realized like all women go through war and then they have to go to work and act like they're okay. And I'm like, "So I wrote a book about it. "Did you hear your mama?" And I was like, "Not to scare everyone, "but just know that you're not alone. "If you had a crazy ass weird birth, too." And when I talk to my friends, everyone has gone through something wild that no one's ever heard of. - I think that it's so amazing that you make it a point to discuss that because as difficult as that must have been for you and for you to still experience those thoughts and feelings and have that memory, that it also validates the experience for other women. - Thank you. - Thank you so much for coming on today. - Thank you so much. - It has been an absolute pleasure to chat with you. I am so excited about your album. I am so excited for other people to hear the rest of the songs in your album because it was an absolute pleasure to get to die then. Remember to bring your tissues for a little one everyone. Go listen to our new album, toy with me officially out April 24th and get your tickets to the Get In Girl tour because July 18th. - I'll see you in the video. - I'm so excited. - Yes you are. - Yay. - Oh, I can't wait. Thank you so much. - Thank you for having me. You're amazing. You're so incredible. - Thank you. - It makes sense. - Thank you so much. - Thank you so much. - And that's it for this episode of Not Gonna Lie. You can find even more clips for my longer conversation with Megan on my YouTube channel on MoreShit Monday. I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode. Follow us on social media @nglwithkiley for clips throughout the week. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Not gonna lie. It's a wave original brought to you by Tax Act. Thanks to the real ones for tuning in. (upbeat music)