Kylie & Kevin Hart on Their 5-Year Grudge, FAFO Parenting, Eagles Fan Jail & Kylie's Dad Cameo | Ep. 71

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Hello, I'm comedian Caleb Herron, and I want you to check out my podcast, So True with Caleb Herron, which is now a wave series on YouTube. And everywhere you get your podcasts. Every week, I ask my guests what is so true to them, and we talk about all kinds of other stuff as well. Tune in if you want to know what kind of stuff that is. Some past guests include Trixie Mattel, Chris Fleming, Drew Ufwala, Brittany Broski, a bunch of other people that I love so much, and even my mom, who I have a complicated relationship with due to how evil she is, but she's been an incredible guest on the show twice now. New episodes drop every week on Thursdays. Ciao, Bella. I wanted people, I wanted people to really quickly hear from my current dad. Why, you got another one? I know that you recently just got roasted on a very big stage, so I don't want to pile on, but I'm gonna. Get it all off your chest. Yeah. I get it. Do your kids also know the expression, fuck the cowboys? My kids know the expression, fuck the cowboys for life. Good. Yeah, they're good kids. The head thumping phase is really important. It's like the phase where you let your child bump their goddamn head. I'm not gonna lie, as our Father's Day craft, I have held off on doing the handprints for six years now, but considering I have to cater to a range of six to one, I think this year might be the handprint year. I don't know. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Let's get this podcast started. Welcome to a special Father's Day edition of Not Gonna Lie, a Wave original brought to you by Seventh Generation. I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey. I married my husband that I now have four kids with, so I get to wish him a happy Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, Jay. Woo woo. That would have been a good one. Hang on, it takes me some time to find it. Mother. Start the Jeopardy music. Okay. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun dun. Thank you. Thank you. I'm also a daughter-in-law to the one and only Ed Kelsey, so happy Father's Day to Ed. I'm gonna tell you what my dad always says. That's two Eds are better than one. And on that note, of course, to round out the trifecta here, I'm a proud daughter of Big Ed McDevitt, the best dad in the world. Happy Father's Day, Skeeter. When we were growing up, I would. Typically get my dad a Chunky, which is a candy bar. If you haven't seen it, it's in a silver. It's a little square silver wrapper. And. Or a Tasty Cake pie because he's a sweets kind of guy. But what I will tell you is, is that that is a. Like the bare minimum for a dad that who, like, truly is the best dad in the world. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to have him as a dad, have him support me, have him understand. Supporting girls and lifting his daughters up and making sure that we felt like we could conquer the world. Making sure that we felt like we could be independent. Making sure that we felt empowered. All of the things that he made sure to support us in doing. He's the best. Shout out to Skeeter. Also, the real ones wanted to know, I think for the Father's Day episode, we need a picture of Tilly and Big Ed. Absolutely, I will. Let's put that in right here. I'm going to find it. When we're done recording and I for sure will put Tilly and Big Ed in this. It's going to be ridiculous. It's going to be a spectacle and I love it for us. Coming up on today's Father's Day special, it might be Father's Day, but it's also Potty Training Awareness Month. So I figured I'd blend the two and talk about what it's like potty training kids with Jason. I'm also bringing back our Father's Day gift guide for the second annual Mother's Guide to Father's Day. Gifts for him that are actually for you. We've got some very good suggestions this year, real ones. So stay tuned for that. After, I'm going to be joined by someone I have no business speaking to. Yep. Absolutely none. Stand-up comedy legend, Byrds fan, and fellow parent of four, Kevin Hart. Yep. We're doing it. I do. I think you should stay tuned because I get some clarity on something that has been weighing on my mind for quite some time at the top of this interview. So I need you guys to lock in. And I want to get out in front of this and say that I don't know that I necessarily hold grudges, but I remember. Before we get into all that, a few NGL announcements. First up, this upcoming Wednesday is one of my favorite events of the whole year. That's why I'm wearing my shirt. Do you see my shirt? That's right. It's Shorebirds. We have the Team 62 fundraiser benefiting Eagles Autism Foundation at the Ocean Drive in Sea Isle. It is a guest bartending event. Tickets are sold out. But we stay authentic to the Ocean Drive and what they do. So if you show up to the Ocean Drive the day of the event, doors open at 4 p.m. for general admission. It is a $10 cover, which is the standard cover for the event. So you can go to the Ocean Drive throughout the summer and you can get in. You just have to wait in line. So come through. It is something that is sheer chaos, batshit crazy, an absolute dumpster fire, and it's one of the best days of the summer. So last year we raised just over a million dollars for the Eagles Autism Foundation. I believe it was within 36 hours. So this year, between the Ocean Drive event and Beer Bowl, which are back-to-back days, again, we are hoping to raise over that. And guess what, Real Ones? We're once again taping a very special episode at the shore. We need you to ask us some things. So please send in all your questions about bikini waxes, having a beard, wearing flip-flops, doing a podcast with your brother, when he's going to embrace cat life. You'll never guess who it is. Next announcement, the special guest special episodes just keep coming because I also might be going on a girl's trip and it might be with one of your favorite former NGL guests ever. Maybe. Because we might have to aller à Paris, voyager, vacances, avec les filles. Peut-être. Je ne sais pas. I think that it is going to be magie avec une souris. Oui. Tu comprends? I'll give you even more hints next week, but préparez-vous pour le 2 juillet. That's it for our announcements. Next up. Next up, if you're still thinking about what to get the father of your children, I've got you covered with our second annual Mother's Guide to Father's Day gifts for him that are actually for you. Some of the favorites from last year were planning a special Just Dad and the Kids outing. No moms allowed because what better day to truly embrace motherhood than being a dad with Just Dad activities. Yeah. Or clothes you would like him to start wearing and a couple's vacation. Again, you want to be careful with those because if you want him to wear a banana hammock, you better know that that's probably going to result in him father's daying by fathering another child if you catch my drift. Those all still stand as great gifts, but here's this year's all new guide. Number one, starting out with a fan favorite, a couple's massage. Yeah, that's right. Has he been saying his back hurts? You know, now that I think of it, so does mine. Yeah. So does the rest of my body from birthing children. I know it's been a minute, but I'm going to use it. How about that? Because a couple's massage means everyone wins. So you just get some childcare. And then you guys go together. Number two, backyard sports equipment for dad and the kids, okay? A new soccer net, a pitching machine, maybe a golf net. Great choice because then he gets outside and gets to do activities with the kids. Now, the catch here is that the idea is that you would then stay in the house and maybe get some quiet time or, again, some nobody-needs-me time. I would be the opposite. I would go outside and I would play with them. But this is a great choice for people who think that they could kick kids and dad out of the house to go do outside activities, okay? Think about it. Next, number three, brand-new cookware. This includes but is not limited to a brand-new grill. A cast-iron skillet, a pizza oven. Get creative with it, ladies. Have you been craving a fresh rack of ribs? Problem solved. Get him a smoker. Yeah, that's right. You could also get him an arrangement of barbecue spices. That could also encourage him to feel inspired. Yeah, let him cook it up, ladies. I'm into that. Let's encourage even the smallest interest. Let's encourage even the smallest interest in cooking, okay? Let's sit down and eat food that someone else makes. Number four, if you like a nice beverage, might I suggest an expensive bottle of wine that otherwise you would never buy for yourself? Yeah, this is a special occasion. Toast your man, being the father of your children. That's right. Pour yourself a fat glass. Both of you, of course. But. Pour your glass a little fatter. Just a thought. Yeah. I don't necessarily love wine, but I love it for you. And that's what counts. Guys, while you're at it, make sure you grab those new wine glasses. Because when else are you going to get the stemless wine glasses? And where else are you going to put the fancy wine? Am I right? Do it. And coming in at number five, literally any new piece of furniture you've been eyeing for the house. That's right. If it's been in your cart, complete it. Because what's his is yours. And if it's a new sofa, you guys are definitely going to enjoy scooching your little heinies next to each other, sitting comfortably, and watching anything but Love Island. Right? I know. Or a new patio set. So that when your kids go to bed and you need to decompress, you can go outside and sit under the stars all romantic. Again, careful. Too much romance. You might end up with another one. That's it for Mother's Guide to Father's Day Gifts. Let me know what other gifts you get for the dads in your life that are actually for mom. Tag at NGL with Kylie. We'll share some of our favorites. All right, let's keep it moving with a new edition of Can I Be Honest brought to you by Pull-Ups. In honor of June being National Potty Training Awareness Month, I'm going to get very honest about potty training in the Kelsey house. Yeah. We've had a couple accidents. We've had a lot of successes. And I think that you should focus on those, but not right now, because why would we tell stories about the successes and not talk about the shit that happened in the kitchen floor? It literally was a turd. On the kitchen floor. I started out potty training with one of the little mini potties. The ones where when they're done, you have to like dump the bowl into the toilet and flush it. It was not the way to go. That wasn't our potty training journey. We quickly figured out that what we needed was a potty seat for on top of our actual potty. Because I thought that the way we were going to get through it was to put the potty seat downstairs so that she didn't feel like she was away from everything and that she would sit that we there was one day I let her watch Miss Rachel while she was sitting on the potty as if that was going to help her. It didn't. She was just naked sitting in the living room. So the one day I tried to ask her to go potty on that potty. I was in the kitchen doing something and she didn't want to be left alone. So we put the potty in the kitchen. She sat on it for a while and then she got up and walked around for a minute and then promptly squatted directly next to the potty and took a dump on the floor. That was the end of that. So then we ended up doing potty on the actual potty with a potty seat. Specifically one that we have loved is one that has like laddered steps up to the potty so that the potty seat can go down. That they can do it themselves. Jason and I very much tag team this activity. It happens to end up being in a very joking manner. I will try to get my kids to call for dad. In other words, when they tell me I need to go potty, I'll say, great, you go up and get started. And when you're all done, dad will come and wipe your honey. That is key. Because when they say, dad, dad, I'm all done pooping. Dad, he can't help himself. He has to go. He really can't. I will tell you what. I feel like some people understand this. When your kids, when your kids, I don't know about other people's kids. My kids have all gone. They've gone through a very mom phase where it's mom, this mom, that I'm not leaving mom. It's not dad. It's mom. It's a, it's not a very long phase, but it's sometimes with, with certain kids, it was intense. And. It, it really helps me in this. Trying to trick the kids into calling for dad specifically. Sometimes they do it. Obviously, sometimes they do it on their own without being prompted. But Jason's a sucker for when they call for him because he's like, yeah, they called me, not you. And so it works out to my benefit. And also it's durable that he's like, they call my name. They call for me. And I'm like, yeah, they did go wipe that ass. Just go wipe the poop off their butt. Speaking of I'm all done pooping. It's been a year since the Ellie moment on the other podcast. So I figured I'd give a butt wiping update. We, we have two that are fully taking care of themselves. And. Benny takes care of herself, but likes to check in when it's a number two, if you will, when she has to get a little more in depth. I did ask the real ones when they stopped wiping their kids butts and the consensus seemed to be kindergarten. I would say that this is the case for the most part, but much like every other freaking situation, when one kid starts doing it, the next kid decides that maybe it's my turn too. And then the next kid jumps in and they're like, Hey, I can do it too. So it gets consecutively smoother. It seems prior to the being summoned to wipe a butt phase, we have been in the potty training trenches with three of our four. And there's a few things that have consistently worked for us. Number one, timers. I have to set a timer. I'm busy doing other things. I'll forget. They'll forget. And then it's too far gone. And a lot of times you end up running and potentially having an accident directly in front of the potty, which is a ridiculous phenomenon. The second thing that we're doing is picking up on signals. They do a lot of PP dancing. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's when your knees go together and you're just sort of like, almost like cricketing your thighs. Okay. That means they need to go to the bathroom. Now, if your kids are anything like my kids, some of them might swear. Deep, deep in their soul that they don't have to go. They're lying to your face. The thing that you should always push is that we'll try. That's it. We'll just try. And in line with that, they can try for the next tip, which is the treat system. A little candy would be great. Okay. Where you can give one candy for trying and two candies for doing it. Maybe four little candies for a number two, or maybe, maybe one candy for a number one and two candies for a number two. That lines up nicely. The other thing that I found invaluable are pull-ups. I really love the fact that they are there for you to make sure that you're not going to end up in a messy situation because, there's something not so great about when your child comes to you and they were wearing undies because you're potty training and they say, I peed. And you say, where? And they say, I don't know. Because now you're looking for a puddle. And worse, when it's not a puddle on a hardwood floor or a tile floor, then you're feeling around a carpet. I've been there a couple of times. Pull-ups avoids that. Pull-ups now has a new learning layer. It's something that I wish I had when I was training the older girls. It really is a game changer. It's designed to help kids learn wet from dry. So it will actually feel wet and then it will wick the moisture away from their skin so they don't have a problem with any type of skin irritation. I'm very excited to try the pull-ups learning layer. I'm very excited to try the pull-ups learning layer with Finn. For any of you who are going through potty training right now, good luck. I really think that's the only thing left there is to say. It sucks. I should say it stinks, pun intended. And that does it for Can I Be Honest brought to you by pull-ups. Kevin Hart is coming up. But first, let's get to this special Father's Day edition of Doom Scroll of the Week brought to you by 7th Generation. First up, there's a trend on dads as their current dad. And the reactions have been hilarious. Okay, guys, so I am here with my current dad. Current? What does that supposed to mean? Just like you're currently my dad. I'm your father. Current dad. What? That was dumb. Go on. She said go on. I'm assuming that this is STEM coming from the TikTok trend that was when people were setting up a video in a similar way and saying, this is my current husband. Now, I see the humor in it. I think it's funny. Big Ed, I don't know that he would have a reaction to this. I'm assuming he would catch it. I think he would have a reaction to this. I think he would have a reaction people to um really quickly hear from my current dad why you got another one he's proud of himself for that one now that was good you were you you were on your toes at that one i like that don't have to call the doctor on that one okay that's it i love you okay bye yep there's dad oh god i love him so much okay um if i convince wyatt or ellie to say this i don't know i don't know how jason would feel that i do think the girls are gonna have a really good time when they're older like teenagers messing with jason and i think that jason is going to be a really good sport about it and i think he's gonna play along just enough until he's had enough and i'm so excited to watch it oh god yep it's gonna be fun and the last scroll this is a throwback to the first ever tiktok i posted and this is clearly a queen emma attempt to get me to cry oh i know what this clip is don't why you gotta bring winnie into this yep i'm not looking look at winnie and bubba yeah yeah you did that didn't you do you feel good about yourself no interesting um these um i love these kind of moments i have so many pictures of jason like on the beach with our girls outside with the girls where you 're so far away that i'm sure they didn't know that i was sniping pictures of them um i love watching jason be a dad our girls love him more than anything on on this planet um and he is so caring he's so gentle he's so sweet um and then he's also like the perfect mix of he'll throw him onto the couch he will roughhouse he will do everything he can to make sure that jason will do all the ridiculous things that mom won't he also has my back it is an absolute honor to get to parent with him um and the tiny humans that we've made are i mean i'm so biased when i say this they're so cute um they're sweet most of the time and uh it really is so much fun to watch him be a dad and he's so good at it he's so good at it he truly i think he understands that like if everything else went to shit at the very least he will always still be a dad and he puts um a lot of emphasis on that um so how do you father say to him yeah yeah that's it for doom scroll the week brought to you by seventh generation coming up i'm about to be joined by another father of four kevin hart right after these messages with four little girls i know sometimes we don't know what's going on but i'm going to tell you what's going on and i'm going to be a little extra when people have to pack up three stuffies just to leave the house make sure their purse is packed with their rocks and their markers god only knows where they're going to draw with those which is exactly how i know what does and doesn't need to be so extra so many dish soaps are loaded with dyes and artificial fragrances that do more to put on a show than actually clean that's the wrong kind of extra and that's where seventh generation comes in seventh generation's bio-based soap is the wrong kind of extra and that's where seventh generation comes in seventh generation's bio-based soap is the wrong kind of extra and that's where seventh generation comes in and then get back to literally anything else that's seventh generation all of the cleaning power none of the extras and seventh generation scents are made from 100 essential oils and botanical ingredients like the clementine zest and lemongrass dish liquid with no artificial fragrances plus seventh generation dish liquid is epa safer choice certified meaning they are designed to be safer for you your family and the environment it's just a powerful clean that gets the job done and leaves nothing behind make the switch to seventh generation it's almost amazon prime day for the best deals of the year go shop seventh generation at amazon.com as a mom of four kids six and under i've been deep in the potty training trenches but luckily i have learned a thing or two you know a turd on your kitchen floor will really snap you into reality we did have the absolute joy of having wyatt lead the pack so that everybody else could follow suit and learn from what she was doing and want to be like their big sister that was very helpful i've also learned my secret weapon is pull-ups training pants i've been using pull-ups the entire potty training experience i love that they're there to make sure that this isn't a messier process than it needs to be and now my secret weapon has its own secret weapon pull-ups just introduced the new learning layer and i'm all about this it's designed to help kids learn the difference between feeling wet and dry i'm so looking forward to using this with finn because i think it's going to make it even easier plus it's going to make it even easier it's progress without the stress of the mess it gives my tiny human big kid confidence while i get the peace of mind of up to 100 leak-free protection so hopefully we'll avoid any more problems on the kitchen floor you can buy the new pull-ups with learning layer now designed to help kids learn wet from dry pick up pull-ups with the new learning layer now the real ones know i love my aura ring and wear it every single day because being a type c mom and person i need help and that helps me learn from the mess it gives my tiny human big kid confidence while i get the peace of mind of up to 100 leak-free protection so hopefully we'll avoid any more problems on the kitchen floor so i don't have to keep track of it myself i love that the ring tracks my sleep i like knowing when i got up and how many times because sometimes i do it in autopilot yeah that's right a kid calls my name i pop up and then i don't know how long until i get back to my own bed aura will tell me i also absolutely love that it tells me the days where i need to recover or considering sitting down and taking a break because i sometimes don't know how to do that she'll tell me aura ring five is the generation and more powerful than ever ultra thin and subtle it's designed to become a seamless extension of your personal style and your most capable health tool yet plus it has up to one week of battery life charge once a week and never miss a night of data the thought of charging something only once a week sounds like it's type c certified and it's designed with aerospace grade titanium construction meaning it's built to last through everything you do learn more about the world's smallest smart ring and discover how aura can help you better understand your health at oraring.com he's the hilarious comedian you know from all of his stand-up specials his hit movies like ride along jumanji think like a man and a big one in our house the secret life of pets he just released his new audible original kids make me angry and most importantly he's a philadelphia sports fan kevin hart kevin hart welcome to not gonna lie oh and go birds yes go birds always go birds uh thank you for having me i can't wait to give you this batch of uh just authenticity and transparency which is really what i'm good at so uh you're in for a treat i know that you recently just got roasted on a very big stage so i don't want to pile on but i'm gonna um i'm gonna bring us back to november 21st 2021 2020 i'm gonna set the stage here it's lincoln financial field a place you know very well mm-hmm and you were sporting a selene jacket yeah i'm going somewhere i promise okay okay it was what i have now discovered was navy blue with gold lettering with white piping there's a point here do you know what team we were playing this day uh i'm gonna see here i'm gonna say was it the that wasn't the 49ers that was the what was it the wasn't the saints it was the saints kevin yeah the saints okay perfect so i just want to know when you were getting dressed this day yeah did was there not a moment that crossed your mind where you thought to yourself hmm this is close to saints colors maybe maybe it's saints colors are black and gold i'm gonna tell you from where i was sitting i thought your jacket was not navy by the way which is the problem with the with our world today okay this is the problem with our world today so much assumption without factual proof okay and with a little with a little factual proof you would have saw that i had on a softer version of a navy jacket right with a palette a palette of cream not gold cream uh and my sneakers my sneakers were navy with a cream trim as well mm-hmm yeah okay fashion first almost worse have you worn a cowboy shirt kevin have i ever worn a cowboy shirt i think when i was a kid at christmas i got a cowboy's t-shirt there's a picture of me in a cowboy's t-shirt uh with my mother but it was a christmas gift and i didn't want to hurt my aunt's feelings okay that's fair she didn't know anything about football that's the only reason why that's even there you see that i'm being honest and you probably thought you had me stumped no no i didn't i could tell that you were very young uh so i was gonna let that one i was gonna i was gonna accept any excuse you gotta let it slide yeah i will especially if it's a gift you're right a gift you have to put it on you have to go with it you cannot judge me from wearing something that came from someone else's kind gesture okay that shows that in return i'm meeting said gesture with kindness sure by giving you a visual a visual you're wearing the thing that you thought was very nice that's what i'm doing here okay that's fair here's what i will say the other times that i've seen you at games you have been fully decked out i respect it eagles and like good good eagle some vintage i saw some vintage jackets yeah not like just i'm not off the rack with my eagles stuff i'm giving you some strong some strong eagles apparel that you may not even see you may not even know where are you going john supply i'm not i'm not giving up my secrets let's just say that when it's time to the plug to really step out i'm gonna step out i make some heavy calls okay i just i i'm not kidding when i saw the celine jacket i had a moment of like huh that's interesting i had him i'm not kidding i had a moment of i've held on to this for five years now i've literally thought to myself there's no way he knew who we were playing you go huh i'm like that's real that's real frustration uh huh yeah look at that would you look at that yeah so i just i had to get that off my chest i'm glad you did by the way that's what this is about it is i wouldn't wanted you to do anything else right we're here to be honest with one another so if it's something you feel or or feeling that you think you have and that you're holding on to there's no time to tell me get it all off your chest yeah i get it but i'm glad that we cleared that up it feels i feel bad about it i'm glad that we cleared that up it feels i feel better now as if you have any responsibility to answer to me but i feel better now thank you for that i appreciate it i'm happy that you feel better i think this is this sets the record for a new opportunity it does for involvement between you and i that when we see each other next you're not coming in with this yeah yeah yeah i felt like it was a little it was a little yeah it's a feeling in me okay i can't help myself shaking his hand why well he had on you know what the he wore to the saints evils game he was so big he wore a celine new orleans saints jacket yes are you sure they make those i don't know but but but i'm assuming that it was a gesture on their behalf and i don't with them since i'm just over here innocent that literally sums it up and you're just over there minding your business and being stylish wearing a completely different palette yes god who the am i right to judge you wearing a completely different palette yeah yes okay i'm so glad we got to the bottom of this this is good now that i know that you did not do that really out of malice uh we can speak about the eagles truly and wholeheartedly um philly fans know we can be a little misunderstood absolutely what do you think the best part about us is the best part is our reputation um the reputation of philadelphia fans is the best part because you know whether rather we are or we aren't the fact that the idea is out there how crazy philadelphia eagles fans are like you know there's a there's a crazy stigma attached to us that makes other fans when they step into our stadium aware and a little you know just a little timid hey don't wear be careful wearing other jerseys around eagles fans or hey when you go like what we're not going to do we're not going to over celebrate because these fans are not going to like what we're not going to do we're not going to be a part of it we're not going to be a part of it we're not going to be a part of it right and you just don't want to put ourselves in a bad situation you know they got jail cell they got a jail cell in the state which is the only time now granted that's not there anymore no but it used to be and how would you do do you know about that if i recall uh are you asking if i if i've been locked up in the other podcast uh i do believe you mentioned spending a little a little time in the in the vet jail cell and as a person that has been in that jail cell i'll tell you that it is i mean look i've never i never went down there and had to stay but there have been moments where my behavior um warranted a time out yeah like just like hey we want you to come down here and talk to us and then there was like several threats after but i mean look that's in my younger years that's when i was young and crazy right ever since you know because we're being honest ever since i became this well manicured version of myself uh i haven't been down there i don't go down there no more no no no i will say this they almost threw me in jail i think yeah that as a philadelphia eagles fan it's kind of a rite of passage it's it's pretty cool i feel like that's a badge of honor that you should wear yeah as long as they don't as long as they don't put your face on the on the wall like in your band and it's cool right you gotta go down there to have a conversation they gotta explain some things to you like like they had to do with me a couple times that's fine a good talking to there's nothing wrong with a good couple times what a good talking to no hey hey man what are you doing up there now come on were you in the 700 level i mean we're talking about a different time in my life right talking about a different time all right where seats receipts you understand what i'm saying and it wasn't really me it was the company that i was with i think that clears up a lot okay guilt by association yeah yeah yeah i'm not i'm never the guy doing the stuff you know i'm with the guy i'm with or guys now one of my favorite sites to see in the entire world is a little kid in an eagles jersey who does something like i don't know let's say flip off an opposing fan would you agree that that's raising your children right i think it's the only way to raise your child yep if you're not teaching your child proper fanfare right or or proper proper behavior while supporting um his or her team then you're not doing your job as a leader my son is a die-hard eagles fan because he was taught that he was taught that early on there's nothing else that exists outside of that green um you know the chant from the from the chant to the song uh to aggression my son has it all and and and he loves it right he loves it my My son barks in people's face when Eagles games are on. He understands all the terms. Move the change, first down. Yeah, yeah. You know what that is? Pick six. We need a ball, dad. Fumble. Loose ball, dad. Yeah, we get active in this household. We get very active. It's funny. I grew up in a house with a man who I still remember. If someone fumbled, it was an all-out, fumble! And then my dad would fall over and tackle me. It was one of the great joys of watching Eagles football. That's right. That's right. Loose ball. Where's the ball? Ball! Exactly. Ball! Ball! Who's on it? Who's on it? That's us! That's us! Yeah! Everyone starts pointing. Pointing the other way. Yes, you need it. It's necessary. And I think that's a great household. It's great energy in a household. And it's necessary, right? It shouldn't be frowned upon. It should be supported. Good. Good. Good kids. That feels good. Great kids. Raised right. Great. Seriously. Like, I'm talking ground up. Yeah. Great kids. Really good kids. One of our listeners recently asked me how I would feel if one of my daughters, we have four. Mm-hmm. One of my daughters ended up dating a Dallas fan. And I said that I actually couldn't fathom that, that I think that I've raised them right. That's tough. And that when they start dating, that they would know better than to date a Dallas fan. That's tough. I mean, I think, by the way, whoever said that, like whoever even raised the question should be put in jail. It's fucked up. Yeah, that's the real problem. Yep. That level of thinking, because that thinking shouldn't exist. I mean, I'll be honest with you. I think, I think you got to disown your kids, right? I think you got to. You have no other choice. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like it's, it's love doesn't live here anymore. You know, you got to, you got to go. There's a lot of things that I will love my kids through. Marrying a Dallas Cowboys fan. That's. That's where I draw the line. No, I don't like it. Mm-mm. No, I don't like it. Can't have it. No. No. No. Yeah. Now, since we're talking a little bit about our kids, I'm very excited to hear more about your new Audible original. Oh. Oh, yes. Kids Make Me Angry. It's out now, so everyone can go and listen. First of all, love the title. Yeah, Kids Make Me Angry. That pretty much sums up parenthood. Well, we are, we're here to be honest. We are. I'm not, I mean, why lie? Kids do make me angry. Yeah. And I think, I think voicing the frustration and, and mirroring that with humor while at the same time being very transparent about your, like, world of parenting and, and your growth within it is special. And I mean, look, there's a, there's a stigma on black fathers and, you know, the lack thereof. And I think it's important to highlight the good fathers, right? So that, that stigma eventually gets erased and you motivate other good fathers to be better fathers and those that may not. Not be, will want to be, right? Because they'll hear more people voicing the, the amazing side of parenting and, and all things good attached to it. And to do that, you also have to be honest. And that's where the, the kids make me angry. That's where that component comes in. Because you're, you're not going to go through parenting and be happy the entire way. You will get to your tipping point. You will get frustrated. You will get overwhelmed. But what you do when those things present themselves, well, that's what makes the good parents, good parents. How do you adjust? How do you maintain a level of communication, understanding, friendship, good rapport, while at the same time energizing the love? So that the love grows between you and your kids and, and still balancing the world of respect. So the respect is never compromised. There's so much that goes into parenting. So, so much. And, you know, the information is key. You have people out there that are looking for, that don't know where to find it. Books like this, they service that. And that's what I'm hoping I do. I'm hoping people listen to it, love it, but more importantly, relate to it, laugh at it, and also apply it. That's what I'm looking for from this book. Wow. By the way, how good was that? That was outstanding. I mean, like you can say a lot of things, but saying it like that, that's. You just nailed that. Yeah. Like, I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. How do you not go listen now? You have to. After that? And I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest. You nailed that hard. As most of you probably know by now, I recently adopted a puppy. And let me tell you, it's been a wild ride. Luckily though, Amazon has been a huge help in making sure I have everything I need for Freddie. Food and treats, toys and apparel, healthcare products, grooming supplies, you name it. Plus, I've loved using the Amazon Pet Profile feature, which gives you personalized product picks based on your animal type, breed, size, and preference. Head to amazon.com slash pets to shop the brands your pets already love like Purina, Imes, and Blue Buffalo, and discover some new favorites too. And with Prime Day coming up later this month in June, that is a great time to stock up on all of your everyday pet essentials. Being a person is tough enough these days, let alone being a parent. That's why I use DoorDash. Because when life gets crazy, DoorDash helps bring some order to it. Like this past week, when I needed to prove a point, so I DoorDashed ice cream for everyone but two of my children. I was trying to prove a point that there are consequences. And so when multiple people wanted ice cream, I ordered it for the ones who had their listening ears on. So DoorDash came in clutch with that one. Real life needs real relief. That's why DoorDash is there for whatever you need, whenever you need it. Life with kids is wildly unpredictable, no matter what you do. No matter how much parents try to plan, there's always going to be chaos. Being able to offload a few to-dos and give a little more time to focus on yourself and your family is huge. We all know life gets crazy. DoorDash just helps bring a little order to it. Because when life gets crazy, DoorDash just helps bring some order to it. Like this past week, when yet again, we ran out of whole milk. And you know, Finn needs whole milk. Because? Well, she's a tank. And she'll get mad at me. And she figured out how to yell now. So she'll let me have it. I'd rather just get the milk. And DoorDash helped with that. Came in clutch. Life with kids is wildly unpredictable. Order now. We're going to have to get clothes because I guarantee you their pants aren't long enough. So when chaos ensues, and my hands are full, I use Apple Pay. Just add your debit or credit card to your Apple Wallet, and when you're ready to check out, double-click the side button, authenticate with Face ID, and tap the contactless symbol. It's that easy. Terms apply. But order now. Now, you have four kids, so you're speaking from experience here. How old are your four kids? I'm 18 years old. How old are you? I'm 21, 18, 8, and 5. So you have a good range of ages. Yeah. Do you think that helps you appreciate the ages that they are currently in? Honestly, it's crazy because you don't realize how much you miss certain ages until they present themselves again. So being that my oldest two are grown now, I love the fact that I get to hang out with my kids. I love that. I love the fact that we get to, like, do real things together. You know, me and my daughter can drink wine together and chill out and have great conversations. It's a vibe. It's dope. Me and my son drive old-school cars and go have lunch and chill. Like, it's dope. But then you see your younger kids, and it's like, wow, man, I miss when my older two were this age. Oh, my God. It's so much fun. They were fun. But looking at my youngest, it's like, oh, my daughter's young. She's the boss. She's at that age where she's discovering not just, like, new words, but definitions with the words and personality, and there's a nice flair. And, like, when you start to see your little people become people, there's nothing more rewarding. Nothing more rewarding than that. But I do think that my favorite ages, of course, are the younger ages. And you realize that they grow up so fast. So fast, you blink an eye, and they're. 18 and 21. And you're like, what the fuck happened? When did it happen? Mm-hmm. Now, you talk about some of the different phases of parenting. in Kids Make Me Angry, I very much related to what you call the head thumping phase. Yes. Yes. Can you explain that a little bit? It's like the phase where you, where you pretty much let your child bump their goddamn head, right? Like this is, this is a child. It's, it's, it's everybody wants to protect. Everybody wants to prevent. Stop. No, don't do that. Please don't do, Oh my God, they're getting next. Go get them. Go get them. Oh no, no, no, no. She's about to fall. Get her, get her, get her. Don't let her get caught. I don't believe in that. Let that baby fall. A little fuck around and find out parenting. Right. That's right. Let that baby touch that hot stove. You know what's going to happen next time she get next to the stove? She's going to freeze up because she don't want to get burnt again. Okay. Sometimes a lesson comes with the hard piece of pain. All right. I embrace it. The head thumping stage. Go ahead. You go right here. You want to keep on goddamn standing up on the ground. You want to keep on standing up on the ground. You want to keep on standing up on that table. I hope you learn. I told you what I'm saying. Uh, this, this has happened many times in our house. Uh, so much so that I've gotten to a point where sometimes I look at my older two who are six and five and I say, that's a choice you're going to make. Okay. And that's, that's, that's it. And then they make the choice. I have six, five, three, and one. Oh no. Yes. All girls. No break. Oh my God. You didn't take it. You're right in the wind. You're in the window of pop the baby out. Uh, okay. Back to like having a good time. Summer's presenting itself. Oh my God. Here we go again. Literally. Oh my God. We're back in it. Okay. All right. You know what? Let's go ahead. All right. I'm gonna have the baby. You know what? Summer's coming around. I just want to break. I just want to chill out. Get back to my, Oh God. Yep. I'm back in it. And then do it one more time. Do it one more time. Oh my goodness. That's it. That's literally, that's, that's my standup comedy schedule. That's how I stand. And to break. Nah, fuck it. Let's get pregnant. Fucking do a tour. Film a special. I'm a chill out. Fuck it. I need to figure out material. Go do material. Get another tour. Film a special. That's a, that's a crazy time period. Yep. I mean, are they, are they, are they all extremely close or are they in pairs? Uh, they're in pairs, but the pairs switch up. Okay. The pairs switch up. Uh, it switches up every couple months really. Uh, and our youngest right now is just, she wants to be involved. Yeah. Um, but like this morning alone, she was trying to be involved with the big girls and homegirl took one step back and went down two steps. Just like, boom, boom, boom. Luckily she went ass first, not head first. And our oldest, let me tell you, they're built up. They're built different. Younger kids, just younger kids are the worst because they just want to do shit that they can't do. And they are, well, they're also pissed when you tell them they can't. Yeah. Furious. Yeah. She just figured out she can scream at people. What do you mean you want to pump the gas? You can't pump gas. Get in the car, put the goddamn nozzle down. Don't drink that. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, she's, yeah, she's, she's going to be the toughest and she's also the tallest. So I'm pretty sure that her body has said the only way to survive this shit is to get bigger. Oh God. It got so bad in our house. Our three-year-old made a choice. I was like, you're making that choice. And she was like, yup, I am. And then she ate shit. And, uh, right before I, right before she ate shit, she gave me a little attitude. And so our five-year-old looked right at her and goes, that's called a three-year-old. And she was like, yeah, that's called a three-year-old. And I was like, have I said that too much? Have I been like, Hey, that's the universe punishing you for being a jerk to your mother. Well, you know what? Wait till, wait till they start to throw out your, your accidental cuss word because they don't know it's a cuss word. You know, my, my youngest son, uh, on the tennis court, we was playing and he was like, he hit a shot and I said, that's out, out of bounds. He goes, bullshit. Really? Amen. But, but you got to respect it, but it was correct. It was used correctly. We celebrated it, but then I had to explain to him why he couldn't say it. Like, you can't say that. Like, by the way, good job, but you nailed that. But, but also don't fucking say that again. Don't you say that. Okay. But if you were to say it, that's how you say it. That's how you say it. I don't say the F word in front of my father. I'm 34 years old. Don't, I don't, I don't play, but she tries it. She tries it. My oldest daughter is like, God damn dad shit. I don't want to drive there. Hey, stop trying. You, you're trying to softly pitch out your cuss words to see how far I'm gonna let you go. Stop doing that. Third tester. She's floating them. Yes. It's not, it's not landing. One thousand percent. I'm telling you, I still apologize to my dad. If I drop an F word in front of him, I'll say the F word to my mom all day. And then as soon as my dad goes, Whoa, I go, okay, you're eavesdropping. That's rude. He's in the same room. Poor dad. Oh God. Poor dad. Now of your four kids, have your oldest seen any of your comedy specials? Yes. Yes. My oldest. Do they get any kind of veto power when it comes to telling stories? Yes. Now, I mean like, you know, my, my oldest daughter has input. Like my oldest daughter was like, dad, you can't talk about me anymore in any of your comedy. Like you don't, you cannot do it anymore. Like, I don't want you talking about it. Like she checked me. So I have to, I had to like respect that and listen to that. But in earlier, in my earlier times, it's like when I was heavy in dad mode, all I, all I knew was you. And I was like, I don't want you talking about me anymore. Like there was nothing else for me to talk about. Like you were my day-to-day. So that's why dad was heavy with the kid jokes or the kid conversation, because that's all I had at that time. So as a comedian, you only can like make jokes about your daily experiences or your daily. Yeah. So at that point it was all kids all the time. But now, now that I'm like, kind of back to the raw version of myself, they don't, they don't have a lot of input. It's more like, whoa, dad's dad's cussing a lot. Well, he's doing what we're not allowed to. Yeah. Dad's letting them fly a lot these days. It's like that. That's what it is now. Now I mentioned it earlier, but you just did the roast. Uh, and as someone who has relatively thick skin, I'm still surprised when anyone agrees to do that. Uh, have you always been good at essentially not giving up? What people say? Yes. Yes. Is that the Philly side of you or? Absolutely. What do you mean? Yeah. You, you, the thickest skin comes in a marriage. You know how much shit you got to ignore that your wife says on the day-to-day. Yeah. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. That's why we're here. Yes. I got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Just eat it. Just eat it. I practice on a daily, uh, I'll say coming up in Philadelphia, man. I, I mean, I was raised, I was raised with hard hitting humor. Like that's all me and my friends knew. And it wasn't, it, it wasn't soft. It was hard. Like we, we went in, we went in, we went in about everything. Like nothing was off limits. Nobody was safe. So, um, that was my environment of funny. So a rose, a rose has nothing or is nothing compared to that. Like it's not even close. So your friends from growing up could still get you way better than that. What? They didn't even graze the surface. If I put you on a street corner talking to me and my friends when I was in high school. Oh my God. Are you still there? Anybody? Now this, you might be sad that you signed back in for this, uh, that we lost you there for a I always say that I'm a, I'm a bug person. Um, it's, this is random that I need to ask you about it, but I do have a vivid memory of watching on a late show when they brought in a snake. I don't do, I don't do, uh, I don't do well with animals and sex, but I don't do well with none of it. Do you have pets? Yeah. My dogs. That's it. My dog. Yeah. Okay. I don't, I don't fuck with other people's animals, pets or whatever, because you don't speak animal. So like, I don't, I don't know the temperament. I don't know the mood, but I do know that if they decide to have a bad day, you can easily be the product of that bad day. So I like to slay away. I don't, if I'm going to go, like, let me let it happen the way that God intended it. I'm not going to help it. No, like you're not going to help it. You're not going to help it. You're not going to I didn't hear that an eagle got me Kev got choked out by a ball constrictor or rattlesnake, got it. Like I'm never, you never go to be in an environment where that stuff can happen. I will say I'm, I'm unsure which late night host it was, but I do remember it is the most serious I've ever seen you. Yeah. I don't, I don't play that. Because you looked right at him and you said, I'm not kidding. Yeah. I'm not playing. Nope. I'm serious. And I'm, I'm out. And I'm pretty sure you left. I was at a golf course the other day, two foxes ran across the golf. I've never seen a fox in person. I left the course. It's not safe here. What time of day was that? It was like 9am. Two foxes came shooting across the fairway. And I said, they're probably running from something. Me too. Yeah. I said, so if you don't think I'm gonna take that as, as a sign and I'm going to get the fuck out of here, I'm out. They said, they said, Ron, and who am I to not listen? It's clearly a mountain lion back there. I'm out of here. I got the golf cart. I left. My friends thought I was playing. I left. I'm saying I don't do animals. The thought of what could fox be running from? Yes. The only logical explanation, mountain lion. It's a mountain lion. It's gotta be. Fucking mountain lion. Where the hell is this? I was in, I was at Sherwood. It's a country club in LA. Two foxes shot across the goddamn fairway. Oh, a mountain lion's coming. Guys, put the, put the clubs in the car. We actually have to leave now. Yeah. I'm going to go. You guys can stay if you want. And I'll guess I'll write letters to your families. If I don't hear from you guys in a couple of hours, because it's clearly a mountain lion. You're about to get mauled. Yeah. Think about it. When have you seen foxes? Just randomly in a pair, not chasing each other, but just running. That is weird. And what I will give you is that's still a little early in the morning. So there is a chance that it was okay. But the fact that it was in broad daylight is the part where I would draw the line. Yeah. No, no, no. Cause I'm also not going to get bit by a rabid fox. I'm out of here. Yeah. No, I actually, I condone that decision. Not that you need my approval, but I think that that was, I don't know that the mountain lion was logical, but I do see how you got there. Well, whatever it was. You didn't stick around to find out. If it can scare a fox, it can scare me. Same mindset in my opinion. That's so fair. Yeah. Now, which do you hate more bugs or snakes? Both equally. You don't discriminate? No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Okay. If it does not happen, if it doesn't have a voice where I can hear, if it can't tell me if we're cool. Yes. I'm out of there. Okay. Even other people's dogs. I'm out of there. I'm not playing. I'm not joking. So, so just a, for instance, here, I have a very large dog. She's like a hundred pounds. She's real friendly though. Okay. That would be a no. Hey, Kev, we got a dog. You cool with dogs? I'm cool with my dog. Yeah. You guys want to put your dog up? Oh, they're friendly, man. All right. Well, maybe you guys can go back to being friends with the ones I leave, or I don't have to come in either way. Fine. Yeah. That's fair. Okay. I cannot thank you enough for coming on. Not going to lie today. You can check out Kevin's new audible original kids. Make me angry right now. Go to audible.com and we'll also put the link in the description. Kevin, thank you so much. And as always go birds. Thank you. Go birds. Kind of very. Funny. You're very, very funny. Very, very funny. Good energy. Uh, I appreciate you for having me. No, thank you so much. All right. All right. Don't remember if you see a Fox running, I'm running to, it's a mountain lion. But I'm running to, I'll see you in the proper colors at the link. Or, or you can just see the colors for what they are or a different palette, or just get up close and maybe go, oh, that's not what I thought it was. That's not black. That's Navy. Still kind of fucked. Okay. Thank you. And that's it for this episode of not going to lie. You can find even more clips from my longer conversation with Kevin on my YouTube channel on more shit Monday. I'll be back with a very special episode next week from one of my favorite places with my absolute favorite person. Remember to send in your questions for us. Follow us on social media at NGO with Kylie for clips throughout the week. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Not going to lie is a wave original brought to you by seventh generation. Thanks again to the real ones for tuning in. wave. That's why I use DoorDash because when life gets crazy, DoorDash just helps bring some order to it. Like this past week, when yet again, we ran out of whole milk and you know, Finn needs whole milk because, well, she's a tank and she'll get mad at me and she figured out how to yell now. I'd rather just get the milk and DoorDash help with that. Came in clutch. Order now.