This is a HeadGum podcast. Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. With a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website. With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes. So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today at squarespace.com/hansome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code "Hansome" to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Handsome child, friends of handsome part, child of friends of handsome part, cheers. Cheers! Cheers! Your friend, Tignotaro, and Mae Martin, and Fortune Memes Day. And we're here. Welcome to the Handsome pod. This is going well. Yes, it is. I had an apparel spritz. Oh! Oh! Are you day drunk? No! Why does that one? Are you day buzzed? Not even buzz, but I just think when you have an afternoon with one apparel spritz is pretty exciting. I don't know what that is. And I've never had one. Really? Have you heard of them? I think from you the other day, did you mention it yesterday? Probably. Okay. Yeah. But I have to say, even though I don't drink, when I did, my favorite was day drinking. Oh, yeah. Drinking! I love having a secret like that. Like, nobody knows. You have no idea. Keeping it in a secret. I had one. I'm telling you, I like to keep it a seat. Like, I liked to have a couple of beers and then I remember one Valentine's Day, Stephanie and I went to this bar by the beach and we had just a couple of beers and then we just walked around with a little daytime buzz and it's just like your little secret and I love that feeling. Like, we're not trashed. It's just like day buzzed and it's a wander around her to 2.30 in the afternoon. It's a very vacation feeling and then you go, you take a nap and then you go for dinner. Oh, yeah. So an apparel spreads is very popular in Europe. Oh, okay. Fancy, fancy. And when it gets hot, it's very refreshing. Okay. It is a little bit of champagne and it's a little bit of apparel, which is like a liquor, a little bit of soda water and a slice of orange and it is a delicious, refreshing. You put it on a lot of, a shit ton of ice, which you know, I love shit ton ruins the vibe. I know. You put it in. It's this delicate champagne that you've got. And I say orange differently than you orange. You say orange. Orange. Orange. And what do you say orange? I say orange. What do you say? Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Orange. Is that one of the other words that you're not able to rhyme with is that orange is one of them, right? Sounds like it. Yeah. But I feel like M&M rhymed with orange. Can you look it up? Yes. To make it point. He was like. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, that's he was like wrong, but you could run this orange in the same situation. I also had a, a brown sugar ice latte and a strawberry matcha when you get in the same situation. You mean like today? It's a brunch. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we do seem a little buzzed. I think it's more than caffeine. It is. That's okay. Okay. Brown sugar sounds good, because it was outside and it was very hot and I made the mistake of wearing nip pants. I thought you were going to say nip something. No, nip. Nip task. K N I T. You know, fortunes always bragging about having nips. Yeah, nip task. And my nips were niping and I had major swamp ass swamp ass. So far you're on fire this episode, girl, we've had swamp ass. That's such a good song. And speaking of good songs, what did you find, Thomas? Yeah, do you want to hear it when I'm talking about it? Yeah. Even though I'm sweaty with spaghetti and I love that. Yeah. I put my orange, four inch door hinge and storage. There you go. A porridge with your inch. Dorage. Gosh. That's right. So he's the master. Yeah, twist them up a little bit. Four inch. I would. Yeah, I wouldn't have thought. Orange. Yeah. I mean, but that's good. That is good. That is like a little window into genius right there. Mm hmm. God, I wish I could rhyme better. Well, you know what I, what it made me think is we need to come up with a brand new word that rhymes with fortune is day drunk and we need to just come to terms. She has her face fluffer. What is it? It's a puffer. Not my ink. I know. I was just electrified by the idea of a word challenge and then fortune starts to puff in her. Can we block fortune's video? No. Continue talking. I'm just dupuffing. I just bought one for my mom and again, this is not an ad. We're not sponsored by dupuffer, but she loves it. Oh, I thought it was an ad for your mother. Yeah. Not a mom. I spent my mother's day with my mom. Good. As you should have. Wait, isn't it still coming up? Yeah. This coming up. This recording. Wait, but I love that you volunteered it, so we're going to be like, well, how was it? What happened? They don't know yet. I bet it went well. I bet it went well. It went well. Yeah. It was a beautiful time. But nothing. I'm here. I'm in my little office and last time we were together, I had forgotten to bring the thing I wanted to show you guys that if the fan gave me, yeah, I just, I hope you're as delighted by these as I am, but I'll just one by one reveal. Okay. And I don't know who made these. I'm so sorry. But someone really smart. Okay. This is me as a bird. Okay. So this is. So great. It's so good. That's so good. That's so good. Okay. This puppy chest. This is TIG as a bird. And TIG has a little bottle with it that says, "Dike Dust." Oh, "Dike Dust." Why does TIG's hair looks very, um, LBC? These are now? Us as birds that a fan has made. Birds and suits. And then I've saved the best to lose. Oh no. I'm so scared. I just love. I just love. I love. This is very new to me. Oh no. I love you. I love you. I love you. I know. I know it's something insane. That is unbelievable. Is this not you as a bird, 100 percent? You're going to say in a nutshell, but in an egg shell. In an egg shell. Look at that wild hair. It's so good. So blonde. So blonde. Look at that. That is really inspired and great. And why in birds? Is there a connection I'm forgetting? I know. I don't think there's a bird. Maybe this person makes birds. This person may be specializes in birds. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And we're birds. And some birds. And some birds. His hair is like Shirley Temple. It's like, it's like a little baby, uh, the chair of Berlin. Are those snuggly, uh, those little, uh, you're going to sleep with them? Uh, well, I'll sleep with them for sure. Obviously I have been all three of them, uh, the, the wings are very soft, but no, the bodies are tight. And hard. The wings. Okay. I ran into somebody that was like, I heard the podcast y'all did about not like where you said you didn't like caricatures that are drawn of you and, um, and then gave me one. And I was like, well, this is not better. Oh my god. So they were being like, look, they can be good. Look, I got, I have one of you that you're going to like and it was, I looked insane. Well, and that person just found out, well, listen, they're good at caricatures. I just don't look good as a caricature. I look crazy. Okay. But as a bird, as a bird, I'm also crazy, oh, but look at all this stuff I got to, uh, go through. Like this. Those are your gifts. Yeah. Yeah, by drawing attention and like sorting and organizing and when you ask, when you like talk about it.
makes people want to give you a whole thing. - Yeah, you're gonna get so much more. Is that what you want? - I think secretly, yeah, 'cause then I can also complain about it and go, "Oh, I'm gonna do all this stuff." And there's a joy in complaining. But I just love it. Like, and I only have four cities left on the tour. - Oh, so, yeah, I don't know what's called. - Wow, are you feeling somewhat sad? Or are you like, I can't wrap up quick enough? - Like, both. I'm really gonna miss it. - Yeah. I got my tattoo to commemorate it and I feel lucky and it's been like, it's actually changed me. Like, I've learned a lot. But I've been changed for the better. - I didn't say for the better. - Oh, it changed you, it hardened you? - No, it did change me for the better. It's been like, there's been a real emotional depth to it. I really loved it. But yeah, I'm ready for it to end. Oh my god. - What is the biggest change that you've? - Well, the tattoo is permanent and I didn't have that before. - Wait, can you remind me what the tattoo is? - Thank you for asking. - Maybe I never showed you. - I don't know if you did. - I feel like you were showing, were you showing our guests? - Okay. - A live show? - A lot of them. Gams. - It's the tour bus. - 'Cause he'll live. - It's this, it's a little tour bus. - Oh, okay, yeah, that's him familiar. - Yeah, I think you said it, but I know that seems familiar, but we never saw it. - As you know, I clogged the tour bus toilet. - Yeah, we're just gonna assume that tattoo stinks. Scratch and sniff, stinky bus tattoo is rancid. - Your nickname on the tour is Stinky Bus. - Oh my god. - And take a long time to tell a little boat. - Little boat. - Little boat. - I saw Britney Snow after our live show and she said she was rocking her little cowboy hat around town. - No way. - Where did you see her? - I had the brunch today. - Oh, okay. - Oh my god, please let there be a paparazzi picture of her wearing that hat. - Just a little cowboy. - 'Cause you know, it does fit her show hunting wives, 'cause it's much of-- - How it's Texas. - Texas, yeah, that was funny. - That's sure. - That's really good. - Yeah. - Okay. - You guys. - What else? (both laughing) - Should I pop some more? - I know something that will-- - Give us a secret, gross bill. - Well, I can't tell you, I can't sit, this can't be on the podcast. - Oh, please, please, please. - I'm gonna talk about some in the camera, of course. - No, I'm going to be, this is wild. No, no, I just can't say what this is for, but I can show you the most disturbing, manly looking image of me that you'll ever see in your life. I had it, you know, at life cast where they have to like-- - Yes, you know, just like they have to make something for me. - That is, okay. - Okay, yeah, yeah. So you don't want to say what it's for, but you show it. - Yeah, it hasn't been announced yet, but you're filming something, you're filming something that hasn't been announced yet. - Exactly. - Okay. - But this, it's so disgusting, and it's not, it's actual, it's actually my face on a computer scanned. - Uh-huh. - Oh, wow. - Oh my God, that is crazy. - Is it a shit? - Yes. - It kind of looks like that guy, the British guy that Taylor Swift dated for a minute. - Tom. - Oh, somebody. - Oh, who plays Loki? - Yeah, what's his name? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Pull up a picture of him, tell me that's not. - I don't see it. - I don't see it. - You don't? - No, I'm seeing like maybe an ancient Roman emperor who had a- - Tom Hiddleston. - You think Tom Hiddleston, can we see it again, Tigg? - Of course, I'm happy to show this off. - Show it. - Actually. - Yeah, people tell me I look like him. - Come on, bring it up. - I feel like I've been- - Tagged. - Twins, look at that, that's crazy. - And if you're just listening to this, Tigg's showing us, it's like a bald, the same, a bald blue thing of her face, it looks really, yeah, how are you feeling looking at that? - I feel like I'm very good at this. - I, I think it's real, and it's honest, and it also makes me think like, okay, I am a gay person, and I present in a more, you know, leaning in a masculine direction. I look at this picture myself, and I go, okay, what if I dated men, and I identified with being straight, would my face still fall this way? You know what I mean? - Yeah, like, there's something going on. - Because, yes, go ahead. - Because people say there's such a thing as gay face, right? Like, I kind of know what they mean. Like, there's like a day drunk, a strong gay face. She's day drunk, but I have a gay face. But your day drunk, is this a gay face? If your day drunk, look at my gay and my face. - You are drunk in your day. - I'm not drunk. I was on a mission to improve the lighting in a dark hallway of my home. So I went on Wayfair, and I found this mid-century modern wall sconce with a wooden base and this opal glass globe by George Oliver. Now, my hallway is a whole mood, and I'm coming up with excuses to go from room to room just so I can experience it. Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. - Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're simply replacing an appliance or transforming your home from top to bottom for the holiday season, use filters, custom photos, and more than 20 million verified five star reviews. - I've already got multiple comments on my hallway sconce and I'm so happy with the quality as well. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair rewards. Join Wayfair rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r dot com. - Wayfair every style, every home. - You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself reaching for over and over again? That sweater that somehow works with everything, the jeans that you know will always fit just right or the bag you carry everywhere? Those pieces are what Quinn's does better than anyone. Quinn's makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and premium stretched denim. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully crafted, and made to be worn again and again. - I have been luxuriating in my 100% organic cotton crew neck sweater from Quinn's. It'd be $98 a traditional retail, but Quinn's has it priced at just $49.90. Everything at Quinn's is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. - Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quinn's. Download the Quinn's app for app exclusive offers or go to Quinn's dot com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quinn's asked you where you heard about them, let them know. It was handsome. It's the best way to support the show. - Okay, but yeah, I think I have resting gay face. - Yeah, pleasure. - Yeah, I would like to see that. - Would you have known that was me? - No, I would think it was Tom Hiddleston. - I probably should have led with, who do you think this is? - Tom Hiddleston. - I think I would have thought it was like your brother or your uncle or something. - I thought it was your grandpa. - Or grandpa. - Yeah, he is. - It's, I mean, what do you think? - Sing some of me mouthy good old days. - The Juds. - But without hair, I mean anyone with, like imagine fortune totally bald. Imagine me totally bald. - Well, and also I can see all of like my lack of symmetry. - You know, it just highlights every truth to my face. - Yeah. - When they told me I had to do a life cast, which is what that's called, I misunderstood. And I thought they were saying it only needed to be the back of my head. And when they started putting the wet clay across my eyes and mouth, I got completely claustrophobic. - Oh my god, yes. - And I had two ways to stop. - 'Cause I heard that super claustrophobic. - Whoa. - Do they put straws? - Straws in your nose and stuff. And it was supposed to breathe through your nose. - I can't, yeah. - There were no straws, but like, I just, and they allowed me to have one eye without the clay, and I just shut my eye, but I was like, no can do with it. - Oh my god. - No can do. - How long did it take again? - Honestly, it wasn't even that long, but even a second, covered in that was terrifying. - I don't like that. - Are you claustrophobic? - No, but that just, I don't like the feeling of not being able to breathe. Like I went scuba diving once and it was not for me.
same. I get I'm pretty claustrophobic. Yeah, if like if you're doing an escape room and they say is anyone here claustrophobic, I say yes. So I must and how does that fix anything? Then maybe you go I don't want to be the one to the scurry and to the little dark corridor. Don't get me scurrying y'all. I had a close friend who we were pranking each other back and forth for years and so one of the pranks he did on me was he got me into his closet and closed the door and locked it and it was a small dark closet and then he'd hidden in there a speaker and it was his voice going hello me put rats in the closet with you and I everyone's laughing and I was going let me out let me out it's not funny anymore and then I had to I thought I got to get through this and so I just went silent and I just put my head down and I was like this will be over soon and it was really weird because it was just a funny prank but I was like not but it wasn't a funny prank. No I was freaking out. I don't like pranks. I like them because it shows someone was thinking about you. No. And focusing on you. That's a long, interesting perception of a prank. It's true. I've never heard that before. It's a small thing of you. Yeah that kind of like someone's gone out of their way to prepare something to to delight or torment you either way it's nice that they were thinking about you. Someone went out of their way to torment you. How cool. Okay so when I've told you about my prank where I go out into the back patio of somebody's house and I say just so everybody knows I'm going to bed 10 minutes. You don't like that. No that's like whatever. Okay. It's more of your prank where you like went tying everyone shoes together to the table. Oh okay. You wouldn't like that. Really? I would be like oh great we got someone to talk about. But that one's kind of harmless so it's like it would just kind of like okay. Okay. But I guess it would be more like home. Like if I sent you an enormous letter. Let's pretend we're all in the Girl Scouts. Camp handsome. Camp handsome and we're in our bunks and you put like a snake in my bed. Oh I'm not into that stuff. Or you like or even a frog in your bed. Or you froze my bra. Is that a prank? My honey love. You froze my honey love. If you freeze my honey love I swear to god. But did you just invent that or is that a thing freezing bras? No that's like a thing when you're kids. People would do is like like they would pick one girl. Take her bra. Put in the freezer. I don't know why. Or did you do the thing where when someone's sleeping you if you they said if you put their hand in water they would pee themselves. Yeah. I'm not into that. Yeah. That kind of stuff. I guess the time shoe one was not really a good example because like who cares. But it's more of that. But yeah I also you know I'm not into the whole like and this is so beyond a prank but like pushing someone in a pool. Oh yeah. Like with their clothes on and like. Hey because it's so dangerous. It's now and that's like a $1,200 thing in your pocket. Yeah. And then nice full fortune. People can get hurt. Yeah. When I was a kid if my brother would do something like that and then afterwards he'd do something objectively cruel. And then afterwards he'd go for a joke. And I was like this was pretty. We were thinking of you. Yeah you're right. For her joke. Yeah. He was thinking of me. He was thinking of you. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. Okay. What's making me want to prank you. I have to say like an anonymous letter or something. Or how about this? You guys prank me. Yeah. We should prank May and that way May will know we think thinking about them. I'll finally have a conversation. Who is that? Thinking about you. I don't know. Is it Taylor Dane? No. No. I don't know who it is. I've been thinking about you. Are you guys freaked out by wax museum? Like I'm thinking about your face cast. Do you guys enjoy like a madam to sods? Like a madam? Sure don't. Yeah. Did it freak you out? No. I feel nothing. It just feels fake. Oh okay. I'm into it. Yeah. I'm into any kind of novelty experience. Where you pay an exorbitant amount of money and go to the gift shop. But I like seeing everyone's heights. I like that. And I like when because is that the scale? Yeah. They're to scale. Like a madam to sods. To sods. To sods. Thing. They're to scale. And my favorite is when you go. Who is this meant to be? Oh. When it's so off. Yeah. And would you just be thrilled if there was one of you? Oh, I mean, I'm pretty easy to please. I feel like. Yeah. Happy. There's a bird that looks like you. If somebody just says I know you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I went to the psychic I saw who's face melted. She wrote me a little post it that said you are seen and understood and loved or something like that. And I got it up in my mirror in my bedroom. Oh, that's nice. I assume in relationships. That's very important too as well. Yeah. To feel understood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty common. Yeah. I guess that's yeah. Maybe some people need more than others. That's true. Fortune. You're speaking your whiskey wisdom. Uh-oh. Here comes the puffer. Yeah. Fortune's truth serum. Yeah. Oh, have another one. Can you go with yourself up a little drink? I got a fly tonight. Tonight? Where are you flying? Toronto. Oh, my place. Where I'm from. I'm gonna see your people. Yeah. You should swing by. See my mom and you guys could depuff your face. Hello. Hello. Mom. Do you do you use the de puffer when you're not on handsome? No, it's only during the bottom. There's a heat. There's a heat one too. That's the one I use more actually. Wait, you have a whole separate de puffer? No, it's on the same thing. That's why it's amazing. I should use it more though. Did I get sent one? Did you hear my tummy just now? No. Fortune and I just happened to buy them. That's not true. I bought it and influenced me. Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. Fortune's an influencer and I bought one. So that's not one of our advertisements. No, I just I learned about this from a makeup artist and then I came on the pod once and talked to I caught it a de puffa and the de puffa and it's a de puffer. They can. And then May was like, should I get one? And I said, well, everybody swears about this. Yeah. And have you noticed any differences? I also have one of those red light masks I need to start using. Yeah, I like those. Do you use one, May? Yeah. I did all tell. I brought it on the tour bus because it also vibrates and I like a vibrate. Wait, and what is it supposed to do? No idea. Just relaxing it. Make it look better. Make it look better to us. To us? No, not to when I was shooting that movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got a lot of beauty products during that filming. Good. Because it was a girl movie and I was a girl. Yes. You're a girl. I have a real parent like paranoia about being puffy because for some reason growing up, my mom would always comment about people she'd go did you see their face was puffy and she'd always say it's probably from alcohol. She would use she'd say puffy from alcohol. So I always she's got nothing on puffy. No way. No, you've you've deep puffed. Yeah. Yeah. And is that what it does? Is it takes puffyness, the de puffer? Yeah, it around your eyes and stuff. Mm-hmm. Are people into this? The scumbag is what ever? Well, should we get to our question? Yeah, let's do it. Today's question is brought to you by AT&T. Today's question Oscar is an actor, writer and comedian who is a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 2013 to 2022. He co-wrote and started the movie Briggsby Bear and wrote and directed the horror comedy Y2K. He co-hosts What's Our Podcast with his longtime collaborator, Beck Bennett. Kyle Mooney is asking today's question. Kyle was so funny. Oh, we haven't gotten it. The question yet, but Kyle was very funny on SNL. Anyway, play the question. Hey, everybody, my name is Kyle Mooney and I'm curious if there's a piece of clothing that you miss. Maybe something that you wore a lot at a certain point in your life or maybe something that just bring back a lot of memories that you lost or you don't know where it is. I'm excited to hear what you think. Oh, yeah. That is a person with funny bones, that's what I was saying earlier. He's a silly man. I've never met a silly goose. Are you guys friends with Kyle? I've met Kyle before. He's very nice. I think I met him at an SNL after party. Yeah, I know Kyle through Stephanie came up with Kyle and Beck and all this guy. In fact, I was at Kyle's going away party when he got SNL. Oh, no way. Yeah. I want to be friends with him.
- I could see I'll be in buds. - Do you think? Okay, I like that. - I think his podcast is also a headgum. - Yes, it is. - Yeah. - We have recorded beside them before. - Yes, we have. - Okay, I'd like the question too, about a piece of clothing that you really miss. 'Cause also when you're younger, you get more attached to single items of clothing. I think, and they represent like a real era in your era? - Either one. - Yeah. - In your life. - Tomato, tomato. - Yeah, potato potato? I think my answer is I had a gap, brown, corduroy, hooded jacket that had like that fake sheep fur in it. When I had it like 13 to 17 through all the sketchiest years, and it was like, it was so comforting, and it was very like gender euphoric for me at that age. Like, maybe it wasn't hooded actually. Maybe it was, I think it had a collar I popped. Like it had a, got to. - Yeah, and I just felt like I was Jack Kerawak, we're going around Toronto. And I'd wear it in like the middle of winter, freezing cold, and it wasn't warm enough. - But I loved it. - And no lining to it. - Yeah, yeah. - It was sounding very Bob Dylan. - Very, oh, you know what? Like the cover of that album, where he's got the babe and they're walking on the street. - That's what it reminded me of, with your little popped collar. - Yeah, and you wore this for like a really long time. - Yeah, I mean, I, yeah, I used it as like, blanket, if I would crash people's house. Like I just, I know it was like, yeah, I have friends that still mention it. Like, remember that filthy rag you used to wear? (laughing) - How often does it come up? - Oh, just, I have, my two best friends, Gabby and Nicole, we kind of rehashed the same five years of our life, and so that does come up in the-- - Well, that'd be old files. - Oh, hell yeah. Dust off the dusty volumes. - Yeah. - Apparently vintage t-shirts are way back in. - Did they go out? - I mean, like some people always been in the vintage t-shirts, but it's like really a thing right now. - Right. - To the point of like, there are certain shirts in a store that like a t-shirt, some of them are like 200, 300 bucks. - Yeah, well, if they're rare and collectible, like how much do you think I could get from my go-go's t-shirt a lot? - Honestly, like $1,500 I think, yeah. It's an original go-go's t-shirt worn by one of the go-go's, right? - Yes. - Yeah. - Charlotte Kaffee. - Who I believe listens to our podcast. She brought it to me at Largo, and I will never sell it. - Yeah. - It's your treasure. - Oh, man, is it a treasure? I have a whole drawer full of concert. I think we already went through this yesterday, but a whole concert t-shirt drawer. - God, I want to get in that drawer. - Yeah, I also regret my answer, because I have a Paul McCartney vintage t-shirt that is, I wore so much, it's like thread bear. Like it's got big holes in it. - Yeah, here is it from. - It's from a wing's t-shirt, so it would have been - Whoa. - Yeah. - Chicken wings. - Like 80s early 80s. - Where did you get that? - You had a chicken wing t-shirt? - Yeah, his chicken wing t-shirt, before he became a vocal vet. - Sponsored by Hooters? - There are vegan chicken wings. - I know. - I had a friend who was like, I've had this t-shirt forever, and I just feel like you should have it. And then left it on my parents' porch, and then I got it. I wish I had been more careful with it, 'cause it's like big holes, but I love it. - Can't be your friend, my number. - I know, it's a nice friend. - I know. - I didn't keep any, I have no vintage t-shirts. - Hmm. - Do you want any? - I mean, I don't know. (laughing) - That's no. (laughing) - I know the answer. - Sorry, old ass shirt. (laughing) - Yeah. (upbeat music) - I go into, I have some friends that are very into vintage shopping. I just kinda go in the store and sit down and watch them shop. - Yeah, I don't, so yeah, I guess I'm not into vintage stuff. - I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. (laughing) - I don't know, I guess I don't love that. But do you have an item of clothing like, like maybe something you used to always do stand up in when you first started or something? - God, I went through so many phases of terrible fashion choices and stand up. I wanna say I would not wanna go back to any of them. - Wait, that you were wearing specifically like, okay, you put in on my comedy outfit. - Early days, it was a vest. - Okay. - Like a button or vest, you know. - Not too. - Got too. - But sometimes a tie. - Oh my God. - Quarantine. Yeah, I have a headshot with that outfit. Can you sign it? - Then it moved into sweater vest. - Oh my God. - That was a big one. Then it moved into golf shirts. (laughing) Just trying to make your way out of the closet. - And then it moved into button up short sleeve shirts. - And bow ties. - And then it moved into, which I think I'm currently kind of in the shackets. - Oh yeah, I love a shacket. - Yeah, I love it. - With like a t-shirt underneath? - Yeah. - But some of those choices were like, woof. I think it's time to bring back the vest and tie. - And there was a phase where I was just straight up t-shirt and sometimes they were too short. And so it's a little peak of my belly would be showing. Like I was a plumber or something. - I got to. - Yeah. - Gotta have a peekaboo every time for the fans. - God, there's some rough pictures out there of me. I don't know what I was thinking with some of these outfits. - You know when you're doing a show and they are promoting it and they for some reason pick a 15 year old photo from when you're like, oh, I've reached out and say, can you not use that? It doesn't even look like me anymore. - Yeah. - So I don't wanna revisit any of those. But I, a piece of the shoes count. - Yeah. - I don't know this scenario. Well, I went through a phase of, do you remember subaigos? - No. Do you want me to, okay, I hung on. - I don't know. - It's like a boat shoe, but it was brown. - But like top-siders? - Bago loafers. I'm gonna show you. So these were like all the rage when I was young and at least in my area. - Oh, yeah, those are timeless. - Oh, that's like, they're called, like top-siders. - Well, these particular ones were called subaigos. - No, yeah, those are, yeah, those look like boat shoes to me, but-- - Yeah, they're like boat shoes. Why wore these all the time? - Do you mainly fellas wear those? - Probably. - Yeah. And they have the little, yeah, these shoe laces, the leather shoe laces, yeah. - Are they always come and tied? - Are they considered a little boat shoes? - They're a little boat shoes. And I wore these all the freaking time for several years, but I didn't wear socks with them. - That's because they were boat shoes. And my feet, these shoes smell so bad that my friends' parents would have to put my shoes outside when I came over and light them on fire. And I don't know why. I didn't, like, they're putting my shoes out. I don't know why it didn't hurt me. Like, maybe you should stop doing this. These are so bad that they don't want them inside their house. And I was just kept doing it for a couple of years. And honestly, if I could go back to that, I would-- - Yeah, if I could go back to that-- - Could you wear your socks in the back? - Ciao. - Would you wear socks? If you did it now, would you wear socks? - I would have to wear the, like, little no-show socks, you know, I'm talking about-- - Yeah, dainty little guys. - Yeah, I would have to do that. But as far as clothing, I rocked some umbrose shorts for many years. There was a one that was like a turquoise and purple, sort of like a Charlotte Hornets colors back in the day. I wore those all the time. - Okay, I would like to dig up those. - I don't know, right? - I'd also like to be able to fit in those. But I don't think that would happen in these sounds. - I'd like to see in your little boat shoes with tube socks up to your knees. - Yeah, and your turquoise umbrose and a vest and a tie. - Bow tie. - Can you believe I was wearing golf shirts on stage? Like, what? - Why? - Why was I doing that? I went through a period of time where it wasn't stand-up related. It was just like me in the world, where an ex-girlfriend of mine gave me her old Canadian sweater that had an eagle on the back. And I just wore it all the time. I was obsessed with it when we were together. And when we broke up, she gave me the sweater as a parting gift. - Oh. - And, but I wore it on stage all the time. I wore it out and about in the world. It just was always on me. - Is it the thick knitted one? Like a, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, I've seen you pictures of you in that. - Yeah, yeah. I wore it all the time. - That's funny it was Canadian. The eagle feels so American, it feels, and then the,
But yeah, yeah, the ego's on the back we're having to it. Oh, I still have it. I don't I don't miss it But it's just here I was just going off of the stand-up outfits because people thought that I was wearing that as a stand-up Comedy outfit and I wasn't I was just wearing it all the time yeah and And it was at a time when I was always on stage I mean open-migues and drop-in and doing sets and whatever but um I would say that the article of clothing I miss is this blazer that I must have left in like a I don't know if it was at the at the dry cleaners or in a closet at a hotel, but it was um really small black and white checked blazer oh and um And I just loved it so so much and now I don't know if it's I don't know if it's still in style, but I It was a painful loss for me Oh see like I'm gonna make a note in my phone and then and then trying to find it for you. That's like I'm like I have to I'll have to go on well, I'll have to or the one All of you won all I have to go on is tiny black and white check. I think it was the company super dry It's a Japanese clothing company, you know, super dry. Uh-huh You know when you see pictures of yourself as like a kid kid and and you're like god That was a cool sweater or something like some of the 90s stuff. I had the big bold patterns and stuff and yeah Yeah, that I was in a kid then but um I had I was you know 70s that would have been cool stuff too. I still have t-shirts From the 70s like my soccer t-shirts from when I was like five and six and then this yeah And when I went to summer camp YMCA summer camp t-shirts. You're probably so fit in them too. Yeah. Um, I used to uh, I don't I don't think I don't think now Yeah, but for a while I like 20 years ago. I used to still wear them But I don't I don't quite fit in there and now you have them just for nostalgia purposes Well, I think I mentioned this I I gave them to my kids and they wore them And then they grew out of them and now I'm like now. What do I do? You know, it it feels like I've really hit the end of the road with these Don't abandon them. Don't say that man. You say that man. Maybe wait till your kids have kids maybe That's a long time. It is um, so maybe I'll just uh, you know, open an eBay store and sell all my old Rock jerseys and uh give it give it to me first. Yeah. Yeah. I they sound cool But again, my son is very one of my sons is very into collectibles And he really doesn't care what it's about. He just wants to know is this rare? Is it a collectible? Is this worth anything and we have a joke in our family Because one night we were with Glen and Doyle and Abby Wombock and um and I can't remember what it was But some somehow it turned into well if Abby licked it it would be worth more And so now now anything where um Where it comes up. Oh well, how much is that worth? Well, it's worth this, but maybe if we have Abby lick it It'll go up a few hundred dollars So uh, that's our plant that's our retirement plan is just to have Abby Wombock go around the house and lick everything I like that You lick that I didn't want to lose a pair of my favorite underwear and I would tell them I'd like to get those back I'll get on it. I'll make a note. What's the brand? Or somebody you know they're the most comfortable pair of underwear. I've ever owned in my entire life they were like Kind of light but enough support. I've never seen them since I have support for what my cooner I mean I never So like I need support in my underwear I need to lift it up You raised that age where you're dragging him a cooner's droffin Oh my god Oh, it's going off I'll be a little support for the boots, you know May do you need underwear support? No, you're tiny. You don't know this problem They all say he could Well, saggy kids makes to be cradle I need it just a little hammock Oh visuals Thank you for giving me that opportunity Thank you Creating that visual. Should we hear what Kyle Mooney has to say? Yeah A clothing piece of clothing that I miss is a t-shirt I had that I got in college that I bought at the Goodwill probably in like 2005 and it said If I die and don't go to heaven send me to Aruba and then I had an iguana on it And he was drinking a tropical drink and he had like a wine shirt on and I don't know that I'd wear that shirt now, but I wore it probably weekly from the year 2005 until 2011 or something like that and It just when I see a picture of it I'm taking it back to being in my 20s and figuring out who I was and even my kind of figuring out what I want to present myself to the world So I in that way I missed that shirt, but I don't think I'd put it on Hope you guys had a great podcast Did you guys ever wear shirts with sayings on it? Yeah, I had one And this is maybe the most embarrassing photo of me that exists is I went to a good Charlotte concert When I was 13 with a boy I had a crush on called Brett Morris shout out Brett You know Brett? Yeah, and good Charlotte I don't We waited after to meet them and we got a photo with Benji Madden and Joel Madden and I I got tits. I'm in this really tight t-shirt. I got long hair in a ponytail and braises Cuter support. I had no cuter's for native you didn't need it And then on the t-shirt. I said it's always the quiet ones But I'm standing there like And I just look like Liberty is raining down upon me like a storm What does this even imply? I don't know like that you better watch out for me You don't know what a spitfire I am I was about to say here comes trouble is what it means and that is a t-shirt I had in the 70s was I don't know if if these stores existed when you guys were Little Hansoms, but there were t-shirt shops Where you could go in pick out a t-shirt and pick out an iron on yeah, I love that. Oh, yeah, and so I had and I still have it It's right here. Oh my god. I gotta do yeah. We gotta see this from the 70s. Oh my god I really just keep a lot of shirts. That's wild because this I'm starting to wonder what hoarding situations happening and takes half the I cannot believe That as we're talking about this I have exactly what I was telling you. This is one of my soccer jerseys. Oh my god I can't believe you still have this god And what does it say on it? It says spring Creek YMCA And it's from when I lived in Texas You can definitely so wear that shirt. I don't know. Oh, yeah, you can okay. I'll do it for you on a special night where we go out Yep, and then oh, it doesn't say here comes trouble. It's Says official troublemaker And there's like there's a monkey Oh my god. It said it was very old. And then I had my name put on back. Oh my god. I can't believe you have that my my mother had these little shirts and stuff saved of mine and when she died and I went through her stuff. Yeah, these were these were in Yeah, and so I took them and then And then I gave them my kids and they wore them and then they grew out of them And now I just have them again. You just are hoarding Yeah, there's got it should be more of those iron on t-shirt places. I love that. I love it. It's open one You wearing a t-shirt that said take on the back official troublemaker in elementary school and Yeah, that'd be the name of your next special official troublemaker. I could not fit into this for sure That one is tiny. That's a half sure. Yeah, that's little for the other one. I believe you can Well, I'm gonna try and then I'll send you a picture. Yeah, yeah, please. I still were I was sure the fan gave me that says here for the snacks That's good
- I should get one of those, too. - Yes, you should. - You know what I want to say about Kyle Mooney, really, oh, go ahead. - Please. - You keep talking about, I want to show a t-shirt, too, that a fan gave me that I-- - Maybe I'll find one of these pairs of underwear with the support in them. - I was just, I was just, yep, go ahead. - I'm gonna go grab it. Is that cool? - Yeah, what ifs, kid? - What ifs? - Yeah, we'll be here. - Oh, I found another thing in your drawer. - She's her clothes in your drawer? - No, it's my old wallet from junior high school with the Van Halen symbol on it. - Yeah. - So there is my old Van Halen wallet. - Whoa, I don't remember those kind of wallets. - May? - Dang, you keep everything. - My Van Halen wallet. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - This is a gold mine. - What I was just gonna say very quickly about Kyle Mooney, that I appreciate so much about him, is I find him not only to be deeply silly, but he has such an earnest, kind way. - Yeah. - And like a, just that vibe that I like that. I love that mix of silliness and sincerity. - Yeah, I'm really glad to hear that it's, that he is kind. - I mean, maybe he's the biggest jerk in town, but he hasn't shown it to me. He's been very sweet. - Yeah, like he radiates kindness, so that's nice. Okay, this is a T-shirt, a fan gave me, that is a vintage T-shirt. And I guess on the podcast, I talked about my favorite blooper of all time, is a lane on, Julia Louis Dreyfus on Seinfeld, when Jerry Stiller says, "Are you saying my George isn't smart enough to hatch a plan like that?" And she goes, she goes, it means whatever, it means what the hell does that mean? And she laughs, and it's a great blooper. And then she goes, it means whatever the hell you want it to mean. And then he says, "Are you saying you want a piece of me?" And then that, anyway, the T-shirt is really good. - Let's see it. The, what the, it means whatever, yeah, it says, it means whatever the hell you want it to mean. And it's a lane looking incredible. Yeah, I just love it. It's such a niche pop culture moment that that blooper really cheers me up. - That is funny. - Yeah. - Well, well, well, we did it. - Well, we did it. - Well, we did it. - We did it again. - We did it. - We talked to each other a lot this week. - I was in a lot. - A lot. - I feel like I really know you guys. - It's those little birdies. - Yeah, I mean, I can't get over the fortune bird here. - I'll never get over that. - I feel like, I feel like all of our birds should stay with you as a trio. - Yeah, thank you, 'cause I was gonna ask if I could just keep them. And I mean, I wish I could build something that I could attach them to my shoulders and go around the corner. - Do you think they could go on your shelf somewhere? - Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I'll put them up there. - Yeah. I have, at some point I want stuff behind me, like cool fun things, but I might be switching this room with the other room, so I don't wanna put up anything right now. - Okay. - Keep us posted. We don't want any confusion posted. - Yeah. - And also always want to remind people to-- - Who wants a kiss? - Fortune. - Marie. - My Lord, Fortune. - Take it to all the kids. - Yeah. - I am a married woman. I'm willing to kiss you. - I'm willing to kiss you. - No, it doesn't. - You can still have a kiss. - All right, listen here. I am going to fill you in on where you can find me, and that is Albee in Brooks, California. Albee in Albany, New York, Peakskill, New York, Clayton, New York, Rochester, New York, Calisbell, Montana, Spokane, Washington, Eugene, Oregon, Colorado Springs. The list goes on and on. Also, more tour days and bigger cities will be added down the road, but right now go to Tignotaro.com for all show information. - Mm-hmm. I am not doing many live shows these at the moment, but please check out my music. It's on Spotify, wherever you get your music. I have an album called "I'm a TV" and I'm doing two music festivals this summer, one in Yellowknife and one in Guelph, so just check out social meds for the deeds. - Well, I currently write in this moment and in London, thank you. Who wants to come to my show in London? - Is this Australian or? - I don't know. - You just lost a couple. - Got to take it. - Well, I'm in London tomorrow, June 3rd, at the Hackney Empire, so come check that out and then Dublin, June 4th. And then that's the end of my European tour. And then after that, Rochester, Minnesota, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Omaha, Portland, Maine, Detroit, those tickets are for sale on my website, Fortune Beamser, that. ♪ And ♪ - And the golf show I did with Will Ferrell is gonna be out in July out Netflix. - Yeah, and don't forget, you can watch us on Hulu now, a day earlier than YouTube, you can watch the episodes. A lot of visuals from today's Tiggs mask and the birds. - You know what, that wasn't even a mask. That was my face. - Sure, yeah. - Okay, let's remember that. - Yeah, that was my face. - Yeah. - Make sure to rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast, wherever you listen, and also on YouTube, and share episodes with loved ones. Help continue to build this very handsome community. - Yeah, we have merch too that has cheese in your pocket. (laughing) I wonder how that one's, if that one's a real hit. - I hope we see Britney Snow rocking that one. - Or peanut butter, bitch. - Yeah. - Oh my gosh, what if peanut butter, bitch, and cheese in my pocket, bitch ran into each other? - Oh my God. - And the wild dude, I love that. - Well, until next time. - Keep an eye on some. - Handsome. - Handsome is hosted by me, Tignotaro. May Martin and Fortune Theemster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett, email us at
[email protected]. Follow us on social media @hansomepod. - What a podcast! - What a podcast, what a podcast! (laughing) - That was a hit-gum podcast.
PodcastTranscript AI