Kuwait & Istanbul w/ Nate Bargatze, Joe List & Louis Katz | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom-scrolling? Smart move. Another smart move? Getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling, just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Hi, guys. Before we start today's episode, I want to tell you about the N. My new storytelling show, the culmination of my entire life's work in storytelling. It's what started as Ari's Storytelling Show, became This Is Not Happening, later became Ari Shaffir's Renamed Storytelling Show, is now the end. It's the end of the road, everybody. You can get it right now at arishaffir.com. Each hour-long episode is available for just $5.99. Ooh, that's a steal. I'm talking about episodes with Nate Bargatze, the highest-grossing comedian of all time in a year. Maybe not of a life. I don't know how that works. I really don't know how the list works. Shane Gillis, Tom Segura, Tony Hinchcliffe, Chris DiStefano, Mark Norman, Joe List, Robert Kelly, Sam Talent, Roy Wood Jr., and then the greats, Ali Sadiq, Miss Pat, Jay Oakerson. It goes on and on. Joe List, did I say? I did. Colin Tirrell, guys, Steve Simone, Jim Brewer, all the hits, all the greatest. You guys will love it. Any episode you buy, you also get the prologue for free unless you buy the episode that Nate Bargatze's on. If that's the only episode you buy, you do not get the prologue by William Child because it's filthy and it's clean. If you want a clean episode, get episode two. You've got to believe this. Otherwise, that's it. Guys, I am legitimately taken aback by how much everybody's loving it and how much everybody's talking about it. It has made me so happy to be able to complete this thing, bring it to you, a gift to the comedy audience who I respect more than anything in the world. I honor you with this show, The End. Please enjoy it. Let's get to the episode. Louie's going to look like my child next to me. I'm three feet in front of him. Bearded child. You're also in a much higher seat. A higher seat. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. The taller guys are in the higher seats. I think it makes sense. It's almost like you've never been part of a production at any point. Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travels. We're going to talk about travel today. It's You'll Be Trippin', yeah. We're back, folks. This is We Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir and your host, Joe List. We got some big guests today. Louis Katz and Nate Bargatze. Wait, it's pronounced Louis Katz? I thought it was Louis Katz. No, I thought it was, it's Louie Katz, but I thought he was doing it like an announcer who didn't know. I was going to make a joke about the last name. It's a gag. I'm just pronouncing the last name. Not the first name. What last name were you going to use? It was Katiz. Yeah, that's why we let Joe go with it. Katiz sucks. Louie, did you change your name so people didn't know you were Jewish? That's a Hollywood name, Kat. Now, are we just talking Istanbul or Istanbul and Kuwait? Because it was both places. Oh, really? Because there was some good Kuwait. Yeah, yeah. It was a great trip. Okay, let's. Istanbul was 24 hours and then we're in Kuwait for like two weeks. But it was a memorable 24 hours. It was. I have great memories of all of it. Good, you can remind me of what happened. I mean, the steam room thing, whatever the f***ing shower, whatever the f***ing cold. Hi, everybody. Welcome to You Be Trippin'. It's a travel podcast. I'm your host, Ari Shaffir. Every week, we go to different places with different people. Today, we got a f***ing trip from these guys, Napar. I'm sorry, I won't curse. Napargatsy. Yeah, I mean, you can curse. I don't. I will not let anybody know I was ever on this podcast. Okay. Louis Katz and Joe List. And we're going to Istanbul and Kuwait today. All right. But we're keeping my intro. Yeah, we're keeping it. All right, let's delete mine. And this is on, for sure. This is on. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't feel like you should be a guy that doesn't have a person. You should have a person. You should. Yeah. I mean, I've messed up quite a few recordings. Yeah, that's. Yeah, but then it's like. What? Why does your phone attach to the microphone? Well, I'm not sure this is recording, so this is a secondary. So you got to hold that for an hour and a half. It's also funny to me that. Comedians with money, myself included, are just such retards because we're staying in an apartment that probably costs $7,000 a month that you got for a studio, but then you won't pay $150 to some queef to just hit record. It's because. It's like another $100. I don't want anybody in here. I don't want anybody. I bother people. I feel like I'm bothering employees. So when somebody comes over and like, oh, we're going to lunch first, I just let them go. And then it's like, that's it, I'm done. Right. Yeah, I get that. I think I get that. I get the idea of that. I treat my employees very well, all my employees. I have no employees. I've never had an employee. Even I have like 10. You've been an employee. Why'd you guys go there? When was this? 2012, January. Almost 13 years to the day, I think. I think it was January of 2012. That's crazy. Yeah. Is that how you get into it? Who sent you? Yeah, I don't know. We were contracted to go to perform for the troops in Kuwait as they were pulling out of Iraq. How did you get contracted? What, are we hired? Fucking Jason Bourne? No, finish. Finish what you're going to say. Say how you're going to say it because I think you're about to say it. You're about to get worse. I'm contracted to do the fucking ass wipes. I know, but he's about to say it worse. We were what? In Kuwait. Contracted. To perform for the troops in Kuwait as they were pulling out of Iraq so they were coming through there and then we were in Kuwait to perform for them on the way out. When we do plugs, I just want to mention that I'm contracted to do Zany's in Nashville March 7th today. Yeah, I'll do the plugs. Did, uh, yeah. Is that right? I think so. See? Did you go? Louie also went when we got out of Afghanistan. Louie's gone a couple times. No, I've only. Louie's pulled out of Afghanistan. You're in Vietnam. He's with all those guys running under the plank. Yeah, you're in Vietnam and he's saying the troops are holding onto the helicopter. You're like, I got a joke. The show's over. But you set us up with the gig with Scott Kennedy. Yes. Scott Kennedy. Oh, yeah, Scott Kennedy. Scott Kennedy. Wonderful. Yeah, it's. I went over there, I mean, probably seven times. He would go every month, Scott Kennedy. Yeah, unbelievable. I remember, like, just talking to him about the miles he had on the sky miles. I mean, he had so. It was like that movie with George Clooney. Right, right. Up in the air. I mean, yeah, up in the air. He was like. He had everything. But he was. Wouldn't he go on raids with people? Raids? Uh, we did. I heard they took him on raids. He was like, no, I'm doing it. Yeah, we did, uh. I remember one time, was it. I don't know if I was. Y'all were with. If it was a trip, but we were in Iraq because we stayed in, uh. Did we go. Where did we go? We didn't go to Iraq. You and I went to Iraq with Scott. Yeah. I didn't go. Baghdad. Yes. And we stayed in the palace. Yeah, there was the driving range. We had cigars. And then we met up with my friend from high school who had beers, and I partook in that, I'll tell you that. And I had painkillers with me, which I've said before, quick side note, I'm sober for a long time now, but at that trip, we had Cuban cigars, I had like three Bud Lights and two Vicodins, and it's still to this day the best I've ever felt in my life. I have a son, I'm sober, I do yoga, I meditate. I've never felt better. Folks at home, get a cigar, a Vicodin, a couple Bud Lights, and a driving range in a dictator's palace. You're gonna be living in the high life. Go back a little bit. Is this going through? Because I've had some good lines. No, it's all going through. You're just blocking them a little bit. Yeah, like I said to do before. Doesn't seem as good compared to the palace, this trip. No, this is not as luxurious. This is not as luxurious at all. We can do both. We're just pretending Louis was at that one. No, Istanbul was this. That one we went to, but we did, didn't we go, we drove through Iraq in MRAPs. Yeah, is it getting too late? No, no, this is another one when we went to Saddam's palace because we stayed, they showed us like where his son's palaces got like bombed and it was, we went to Iraq, we got stuck somewhere. We went, we took a wrong turn and it was, it was like got real because you're just in like the wood, you're like in the high grass. Do you remember when, real quick, we'll get to Louis' bulls**t, but do you remember when we were, this is one of the craziest things that happened on that trip. We were going from base to base flying on helicopters and we got to one, we landed on one, we were with whatever army guys, but like I think like the lower level army guys and we landed and these guys came driving out in like a Toyota Corolla with the roof sawed off and they had like boxer shorts with like handguns in here and they were like, hey, hey, where are you guys going? What is this? And the army guys we were with were like, oh, sorry, captain, we're going to the, we have the comedians and then they drove away and the two, our escorts were like, those guys are like f***ing badass. They were like real guys and they were dressed like, like Sam Jackson and Travolta at the end of Pulp Fiction. They just looked like, and they were, these guys, they made these two like f***ing army dudes look like they were like me and you. They were like, those guys are, serious guys. I was like, oh, s***. It was like Zero Dark Thirty guys. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Where like they can wear, you know, everybody else is in like full uniform and those guys allowed to wear shorts. They were like in flip flops and shorts with guns in their waistbands. That's crazy. And the other guys were like, those guys are like serious. We're so sorry. We should have, like, it was unbelievable. You guys scared going there? Uh. It was mid-war, right? I don't think it was as bad when we were there. And. No, we were there 20, we were there in 2023. I think they were having a good couple weeks when we were there. uh no yeah we never yeah you're definitely over there i mean you're you know we're young and dumb so it's like you're i don't think you're thinking too much about it but yes i mean yeah you're in iraq hasn't a performer maybe that's just uso is that a performer's never been killed so i think you know you got to stick with that record but that could be uso we were on a different contracting thing i never did uso i'd tell people uso just so you can move the conversation along yeah well that's never uso yeah we were on that's something someone people should understand is that like uso does like one two shows a year and then there's all these like smaller contractors that'll do other shows and so so we i've done those with other contractors as well but what messes that up is sometimes you'll go do these shows it's hard to get the uh military you think they'd be like so excited to see you but these other contractors don't pay a lot of money and you'll see the previous lineups you're like i've never heard of any of these contractors and you'll see the previous lineups you're like i've never heard of any of these they've seen some bad comedy and they've been burnt and they don't want to go so a lot of times they won't come to the show because of that depending you gotta bark for your you gotta bark crowds into iraq this was one of the kuwait was tough to get some people sometimes right is that my role yeah there was some light crowds there yeah i mean i think a lot of them probably saw i'll just speak for myself and we're like that was not good because i i remember having some sets that i'm like i'm eating it really couple don't you think i can't even remember man i remember i mean some of them were so sparsely attended that it was like it would be impossible to have a good set you know what i mean like well we had a couple that were outside yes yeah we were just like on top of like a tank talking to people in like folding chairs yeah and not a lot of people and i think they were like ordered to come yeah like i think they were like guys we have these that flew here can you go out there yeah you're good keeping company yeah wait so you started in kuwait on this one well yeah so well for the layover though was it was in istanbul and that we had 24 hours there 24 hours in istanbul good is he in yeah is that what he said yeah that's hilarious yeah what norman's coming we're having a big hang after this oh norman's out of the pod maybe i don't know that sounds like it no he just texts he just said he wants to do it and i said i said reschedule y'all's podcast this is the most perfect norman thing he's got a three-day-old baby at home and a podcast scheduled and he's like i'll be there yeah but now you're gonna be there also i invited him he's like can't this is one of the this is this is gonna be a hang of all hang you gotta do something like this yeah i mean i feel like i'm supposed to alleviate my well i'll figure it out we'll figure it out yeah yeah well yeah all right so 24 hours in in uh istanbul yeah and i'd been there before yeah but they hadn't well that's right i remember that yeah and so i like kind of knew a few like if you go to istanbul there's like two big like there's like one center where there's two big mosques right the the blue mosque maybe the blue mosque is that what it's called i don't know i don't know i don't know i know that's like the most every movie that they've ever established istanbul it's in there it's in argo and yeah all the other places the blue mosque and hog sofia maybe is something maybe i made that up something sofia sofia coppola no i don't know i know blue mosque that's the huge iconic like everybody's seeing that yeah and then right across the street is another mosque so that's we're staying right there for like 24 hours no we're not in the yeah we're staying in the mosque i just pulled up about wow yeah it's a holiday inn it's like it's in the holiday it's one of their better ones yeah you could use your points but also i remember this is how broke we were you had been inside so you were like you two go i'll just kill time out here and it was like a six dollar ticket and i remember being like you don't want to come inside you're like i've been there and i was like wow i was like could you be this jewish in a muslim country you might get in trouble well there's a lot of stuff like that i remember like you had a pass to get into some of the um lounges but you can only bring in one person oh we had to swap out yeah we had to swap out yeah we had to swap out this is when i was at the height of my alcoholism bring each other food and then remember we got to jump all over the place sorry hold on the lounge thing was first and you had one pass so we were like and you're allowed to bring one guest yeah somehow we thought okay bring in louis and then come out and then give it to me and like immediately they were like yeah we're on to you yeah like no and so then i got mad so i was i remember being like these guys and i was standing out inside the uh the airport whatever and then you guys thought you had hooked me up and you stole like 50 gallons with the alcohol and then we didn't realize there was a second layer of security like we thought we were just gonna bring like you remember that like yes yeah like a lot of beers on the plane and then we went into security they were like what are you crazy yeah i can't do that but it was a weird it was a i mean once we got they have it together more than you think yeah well there are people that are trying to like blow up their whole country so they're kind of on it yeah but once we got i mean because once we got to kuwait there was no drinking at all it's totally dry over there even for the military no really am i correct that must have killed your list that must have killed you oh and you too back then well that's i mean both you guys yeah that was that was a funny story too where i was talking to a sober friend and i was like well i mean i just went 10 days without drinking and he's like you did and i was like well i was in kuwait i didn't drink and he's like well that's not really a sober accomplishment not drinking in a place that contains zero alcohol when the military says you can't it's not a feather in your cap sorry i get too excited go ahead ari where is this well so so then so i'm like well we're in turkey you got to do a turkish bath it's like a famous like turkish delight turkish you got to do turkish stuff when you're in the in the country well this was also the thing i remember because uh we had a hotel book do you remember that a little fun travel tip we had it because we had a we had a 24 hour layover our 14 hour layover something like that in uh instable and we did it on purpose so we could go do that right we had a hotel so we could like you know one hotel just shower stuff in but if you have a layover over eight hours or something they have to give you a hotel right so we ended up all getting our own hotel rooms and then canceling uh the one we had but that was like something we didn't know we didn't even know that was like a thing no i didn't know yeah and yeah it's so if you have that so much so you can go pick a crazy i mean i don't know if this was 40 years ago but if you can go pick a you pick a long layover place because we picked this specifically for that it was like all right you get you know it's a ridiculous layover i did this on the way back from egypt was like but it was like eight hours yeah but it was like quickly run in go do all this i think you would have got a hotel room yeah because they like have to do it because they have to put you up somewhere right and then we so we went there and then we just you know like i think took a shower and then we just you know like i think took a shower and then had some beers had some food and then i'm like so we're going to the turkish baths and these guys are like wait what they're like so freaked out yes yeah i i felt it was i felt it was a little bit of like i don't know just like we don't we don't bathe together i don't know it was well it was uh uh it's where uh what's his face they filmed taken two oh is that right at the turkish bath at the turkish bath it's where they're you know with liam meason fights in the turkish bath it's that turkish oh cool i didn't that's the one we went to no kidding and uh it's like it's like an ancient one right it was like hundreds of years old yeah yeah yeah and so they filmed they filmed that there because the whole taking two i think or three maybe it's two or three i don't remember but but uh there needs to be i couldn't convince i mean you guys were very hesitant to do this number one tourist attraction of turkey well because it just sounded like you were like yeah you shower with a bunch of guys you get naked with the men it seemed weird i always say i describe it as it would be like if your uncle gave you a bath that's what it's that's what a turkish bath well it's just a turkish bath but a strong uncle like a powerful just a bearded strong uncle that goes that has to bathe you well the bath i remember well because first of all we went around got house before i drank about 45 beers beforehand we had a rooftop restaurant they had to get drunk in order to go to the turkish bath like you wouldn't do it if you weren't i could yeah i'm not gonna hook up with a guy for the first time i had to get in the mood but yeah so we went out drinking we went to a rooftop thing and then we also got in a fight because nate wanted to go to the turkish bath and i was like you want to go to mcdonald's and you were like don't you want to experience a turkish mcdonald's and i was like pretending to be on your side but i was like i was like it does sound kind of fun you know what if it's different is this the one because they are different i have no idea i wouldn't know we took a photo outside of it that photo of nate drinking the thing was outside of the bath it's really old like go to like one of the older ones type in this is the one from taken uh yeah then it was then it was that yes it was that one when you go inside though there's a big slab of like marble yes and you lay on it they hit you with leaves yeah they put they put these leaves on it and i think they do this at the russian baths here they'll do this too oh but they have a they have a yeah they put their down and they have these big leaves with all the soapy water and they like beat you with the leaves right yeah it feels good though so we were uh skeptic i mean this i remember very well so i was drunk and we were and i was skeptical and you have to get nude and put on some towel and remember i also asked i was like is there one with women is there like a co-ed and they were like what are you crazy like i really thought maybe there was like a co-ed situation these women are not allowed here hey everybody always shafir man of many hats breaking into today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guests louis katz joe list and napalm galaxy three of the finest comedians on the planet they're all touring except louis katz who has a lot of experience with There's a special called The Best Community You've Never Heard Of. Louie Katz. is hilarious i think that's an apt title the best community you've never heard of 1.5 million views and counting on a special on youtube and you don't get that by being unfamous unless it's the highest quality special you guys will love it please go check it out the best community you've ever heard of louis katz did a great story on this is not happening um that show is dead um by the way no cursing i'm not cussing because nate came onto this podcast and he doesn't like to be dirty and i'm trying to honor him and his appearance by just like you know okay i'm not going to do it also by the way nate is on the end storytelling show that i've produced and created um it's at ari shafir.com right now you can get his episode for five dollars and ninety nine cents if you do not want to dirty anything get just his episode any other episode you get you also get the prologue this thing i made with william child uh i crazy cool artist um if you get multiple ones you get the prologue if you only buy episode two there are no order by the way watch them in any order you want um i'm in the first one because i have to start the show that's about it um every other one is like in no no specific order at all but they're all theme-based and i made nate's a clean episode and if you want to not see people like me big j okerson you know if you're a good person you don't want to see that so i made a clean episode episode two you got to believe in this jim brewer steve simone nate bergazi three amazing comics you guys love if you just get that episode you do not get the prologue and you will not want it because it's pretty disgusting if you get that episode and any other episode you will get the prologue because that is you signing off and saying i don't care about clean so i'm opening up and if you do may the lord have mercy on the soul you carry inside you um get them all guys at rhfear.com right now nate killed louie uh i mean joe list killed if you can get nate's and joe's six bucks six bucks you get mine 6 12 18 24 six more dollars you get three more episodes if you just buy the episode you also get the shane soda uh sam talent robert kelly sarah tolamash episode and you also get tony hirschloff big j or chris and ollie zudik and seth tollev episode yeah get them all uh share with a friend watch with a friend legitimately watch with a friend invite somebody over watch with a friend joe list is on the road may 5th and 7th at the la improv at the netflix the joke festival and then he heads off to the island um glasgow harry harry harry go i gotta be clean uh london that's may 17th london may 21st and 22nd the leicester square theater bristol may 24th dublin may 28th belfast may 30th oh i'm jealous of that one uh and then back to america levittown in june portland maine and tacoma washington in july go to comedian joelist.com nate bargazzi oh joelist also has a podcast called tuesdays with stories you guys will love i've been on there multiple times two of the worst episodes ever recorded he also has a podcast as mark norman uh he also podcast called the regs with uh robert kelly who's been on the end dan soder also a star of the end and lewis gomez uh called the regs you guys should check that out as well i've been on one of those um nate bargazzi has his own podcast called nateland check that out no cursing as well he's also got this i'm most proud of his own movie that he's starring in a summer blockbuster guys i'm not even joking my buddy is going to be in a summer blockbuster movie it was supposed to be out of march and the studios believe in it so much they're like let's move it to may 29th the end i'm sorry that's my thing the breadwinner i'm gonna definitely go see that in the theater i'm so proud of this guy i it's like i'm proud of everybody but i'm so proud of him plus at that level you people lose their minds he's still showing up for dave smith's last episode i didn't even do that um anyway may 29th check that out uh get tickets to all of his shows at nateland.com he's in only theater starting this april 22nd which is in two days from now sioux falls south dakota fargo north dakota april 23rd sorry not theaters arenas guys did you even know there was an arena in sioux falls south dakota he he's selling out an arena there i don't think anyone understands this there was a time when i started comedy it was dice did an arena and then nobody for about 30 years and then dame cook did it and they each did it once dice did it twice in the biggest city in the in the country nate's doing it in des moines in omaha colorado springs los angeles for two nights at the intuit center providence albany hershey knoxville savannah birmingham greensboro where i grew up until fourth grade fort worth where i saw billy strings uh the diggy center cedar rapids rosemont houston austin where i saw uh the guy from pink floyd phoenix san diego san jose and then canada calgary edmonton two shows in toronto with the toronto rafters um play and drake watches um go to nateland.com for tickets guys let's get back to the episode and then i think nate you went first but i remember the thing i most remember one at a time is the sound because they bathe you personally and they grabbed nate by the arms and dragged him across the marble it was like this i was like taken two and then they took like a bucket and they just go like gross yeah they nailed you and i was like oh god yeah and then they cracked your neck yeah yeah yeah the walk they do they walk on you or yeah yeah it sounds horrible no it's good it was horrible it's awesome it was it's a yeah it's an aggressive bat yeah i forgot the bucket it's a bucket of water yeah they just throw it at you as they hate in the face it feels like if you don't get paralyzed it'll be a great experience well i went it sounds like rocky's bath when he got arrested when it was my turn i went no uh neck i was like i got the neck thing i don't want they were like what i was like i don't want my neck i do remember you saying that i was like no neck and it's just it's a dude that and it's a it's a man that will just beat you if you he's bigger than you he's stronger than you and he washes you and it feels nice yeah he's scrubbing he puts on like an oven mitt yeah yeah yeah lufa he's just scrubbing you down and it's really it's really good and because it's salt stone and echoey i think while we were there like they do the call to prayers they do the call the prayers like that's one crazy thing in istanbul they have so many mosques and they all do the call to prayers and it sounds like very eerie and stuff but there it was like echoey i think it happened while we were there right and you just hear the and it's echoing and it sounds like very ancient and weird well also it's like supposed to be a sacred thing and i could not stop laughing once they dragged you across the thing and hit you with the bucket like you won the super bowl i was like on the floor i quit i was like howling laughing hated us and also it's funny because when you're done with your quote-unquote bath that's like go take a shower that's it on the right this thing yeah i'm pretty sure oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the thing you got dragged across you all sit around naked waiting for that yeah i can't even remember it you get dragged on that slab yeah it was like it's a dragon slab oh it's a dragon slab okay yeah yeah i know that's what i wanted they weren't there they were not there and this little boy there was no boy we didn't have enough money for that this is one boy but they scrub you up good and then they make you shower which is hilarious like you take a bath and like all right now you got to go shower what's the point of my bath that's true i well would you regret it no i loved it it was awesome yeah i think by the way we just did like the big headlining story yeah that's it there we go we open with the closer well i also i learned a lot about travel from you i had been to peru before with my my ex-girlfriend and i had been to peru with my ex-girlfriend and she was my ex at the time which is a whole other bag of hammers oh yeah we had a podcast about it yeah that episode three or something um we should tell the march madden of the uh syracuse yukon story too but anyways you you were like you you have really traveled and were well traveled and i was taking in all your free it was tough to balance between nate being like that's stupid let's go to mcdonald's and me wanting to be like oh yeah man this guy's like uh whatever but really i just wanted to go to mcdonald's and not get bathed well we ate mcdonald's in dubai at the airport i told a guy that uh i was at this thing with i was all right it was the it's like the prince there's and i was at what he owns so i'm doing shows in dubai okay it's and so one of the shows that nowadays we're back then now okay so it's like uh like in may and uh so it's at the coca-cola arena and i'm at this like uh kind of corporatey event it's a golf event but and so this guy's there and he's he owns that basketball team wow so i told him i go he's like dubai and i go i'm gonna be playing at the coca-cola and he goes yeah that's where my and he just motioned shooting a basketball and i go what and he's like that's my basketball team that's the arena like he owns that arena i'm like oh wow and then i told him i go i had mcdonald's in dubai's airport so it's a little different and then he continued to laugh after that and then never talked but he started talking to his buddy is in arabic or and like just i think they were just making fun of me and yeah i was like all right that sounds right i mean ray ellen gave me eating mcdonald's in aruba which i'm still furious about because i was there for seven days i'm like we're eating 22 meals here i'm like i can't have mcdonald's once and aruba is not even a food place yeah what's what's aruban food i'm like what am i gonna eat fish 30 times well also when you go somewhere i'm always like i gotta eat the local food and like about five days in i'm like give me a hamburger like just i was all right yeah every once in a while you just gotta do that when you're with us next time earlier yeah it was 24 hours this was your only chance to not eat mcdonald's what is this is this turkish breakfast yeah it's no that's always our ground patties which is also funny because we were like no no we're not going to mcdonald's what are those and then i got four hamburgers and rice this is my turkish dinner i'm like what do you got in the hamburger and french fry department no bun yeah it's just a keto mcdonald's these photos are from so long ago i have hair and i'm wearing a bill cosby t-shirt if you notice closely no i didn't know yeah really yes yeah see that's that's cause look zoom in that's cosby down there see him oh yeah sort of sort of that's cosby i think it's enough that you didn't have to bring it up yeah because no one would have noticed oh and then you got that white drink remember that yeah there was like a white no drink off the side man what do you what's wrong with you what do you i can't remember what's the white jizzy drink oh look at nate yeah yeah oh that's good huh this is the last thing you read i saw that oh there's the cosby shirt you can see it there yeah louis face is also hilarious here just like what are you talking about i think you got like a pasta dish you were like let me get the spaghetti marinara and louis like are you crazy yeah this does just look like a restaurant but look at the background look at what's out there where is this this is turkey again that's probably the one restaurant we went to like istanbul and then somewhere we had drinks on a rooftop with a full night yeah it was awesome the city skyline which maybe i didn't send you that photo where's this same restaurant probably yeah probably downstairs downstairs part of that restaurant i mean we're not there for a long time yeah you guys really did it all though when you went way to go out yeah yeah yeah we went out and i mean you had so little to i mean you know you have 14 hours or whatever it is but you know that goes quick so it was uh yeah it was the best yeah and then we're in kuwait and that was long not quick there we go yeah yeah now we're talking yeah well you had to get it in fast because we're gonna be in kuwait so i had to pound some beers yeah fs beer how was the fs uh probably good i don't know revolution hair jesus christ yeah look at that dude louise is the craziest yeah you look the most different actually nate looks pretty different we all look different maybe joe looks most the same actually thank you yeah yeah look at you guys oh wow look i got my zipper pants on those become shorts white hiking pants oh this is the sign of a of a of a tourist white yeah if it got hot i could take my legs off yeah clearly it was freezing that was beautiful where is this the hamam we are wearing kind of heavy jackets it must have yeah it was hot this is my face if i would always wear two t-shirts i always had basketball shorts and we both wore basketball shorts for underwear yeah that was one of the things that bought what and then uh what and i had rubber bands on that's weird what on your wrist like ricky shorter huh uh the show where he was rich i don't know but he'd always richie rich yeah no it wasn't ritchie rich i know the show silver oh silver blues yeah that's what it was isn't that a town in maryland silver spring whatever what is this did we have a digital camera like it was like a real digital camera right i can't i mean i wasn't a phone he has all these photos it wasn't a phone i think i had um i probably had maybe it's all film maybe i have these photos what do you call it uh temporary you can't what do you call that disposable disposable camera i always travel with disposable cameras but i bet that is it i think we had a digital camera yeah that was my digital camera i think yeah some street cred for nate long time vandy fan oh proves it yeah this proves it yeah not just johnny come lately not a joke not a joke okay so we went to alabama and then we went to kuwait and that was like uh i don't know what it was like 10 days yeah yeah it's for the sports fans fans what who what what a picture this is it's like and they're walking away i like that well i'm trying to just grab photos the composition is good thank you well take out joe list photography on instagram almost 12 000 followers a follower i follow it too oh thank you i appreciate that i don't like it but i follow it so then you go to so then 24 hours then you had to kuwait yes hey believe out every curse word i have in here blood um you can keep but bleep me saying you can keep but bleep me saying oh you can keep but bleep me saying you can keep but bleep me saying you can keep but bleep me saying two and so i'm on the aisle like two and i'm in the window and i'm like like you know excited and this girl sit next to me and she goes uh if you want to switch she's like i don't get up you know i'm gonna sleep and i was like you know i was like i don't know like you know the whole point was being in the window you lay your head here whatever but i ended up agreeing to it and then she put a blanket over her head 13 hours did not move wow never seen anything like it 13 hours did not i've seen that in this neighborhood yeah yeah yeah i bet she took what do you call that heroin no what's the ambient ambient yeah multiple yeah yes i mean that was 13 hours if you go eight is crazy oh so when you landed did you have to like yeah splash water in her face well i mean she can't no that's like good she got up everybody's like we never met i mean she wow i was like you're gonna get up some and then like a hibernating bear that's crazy just put a blanket on her head and slip oh you're good no i'm just gonna say i've been in a flight where like you're talking about getting not getting a fight i'm playing i have the window i like the window closed because it's dark and so i can sleep and also the sun gets really hot so i had the window closed this crazy german guy on the other side keeps opening it on you closing it he keeps opening it over you yes over me is it not it's a half and half window which is like he's next to me is this he's next to me he's not he's on the aisle or like whatever it was yeah and i'm like what do you want to see he's like the vista you know he's well he should have got a window seat there i know i know but this reminded me he's like i just didn't want to like i fought as much as i could but i'm like i just have to sit next to this for the whole flight you needed america to come in and save your basically was the world war two nice though what was the vista nice no it's the sky did you could you then not look out the window because what if yes like he's like oh look at that yeah i don't know i don't care i don't want to look well it's just like the sun is like melting you you know what i mean yeah yeah you gotta get the non-sun side that's when it's really great yeah you can like look out it's a tough one to pick yeah you gotta really think about it i've done it before i'm like where are we i've never thought about that that's crazy well that was another thing i learned in that trip from you the original iraq trip the one that the good one thank you but that was you were the first person i ever met that had the app and was choosing seats like you got us exit row seats like you're like you got to check the seats and which i do now religiously and we got like exit row we sat actually needed to like sync the movie up you had to hit play at the exact same time i can't remember what we watched but that was fun we sync movies up too oh yeah i think the three of us are breast yeah i can't remember what i get a little brother trying to fit in no we did that you're like yeah that's right when but we did we went to your dad's house that weekend uh it was the i i was i loved uh traveling i loved i was i was very good at traveling with you would because it's it's not like we you didn't have money but i was able to you're just like just keep an eye on this if you you know when you go in you're like let's go talk to this person at this thing and then if you talk to them they can give you upgraded i did my one of my best that i did was rental cars when this is here but in la when i would go there to rent a car sixth like sixt so it was when it first came over to like la you could go it was cheaper than uh anything for every second for a second yeah for i mean yeah you would you would get you could get a bmw then they got luxury cars yeah well they had all you because there's all german cars like there's all so you could get bmw you get whatever so i mean every time i would be in la i would be like driving around like an audi and then it's like what are you doing this like soda or norma or something like a nissan i'm like i guarantee you mine is a hundred dollars cheaper than yours wow because you could you just always if you look and go find it it's you can find good things that people don't know about you heard it here yeah it used to be it used to be the exit row was just going to ask for it they didn't upcharge her to sell it they'd be like hey i'm tall would you mind like yeah absolutely well the exit row i remember a time this is how old i am the exit row was cheaper because you were doing service like you didn't want it like this was like you were like willing to help can't you not lean back in the exit row you can no the first the first exit row no the second one you have to yes yes because you're away from the exit oh wow yeah and the one in front of the exit row you can't wow lean back okay southwest i love it because when you you would you watch people because there's really only one exit row in southwest yeah there's and then there's two that look like they're in an exit row but they're not the double the double seat and so it's very fun to watch people be like race to that one and then they don't realize that they're in maybe the worst seat on the plane oh that's always because it yeah you have you know well you know the the one seat where it's got all the leg room yeah yeah and then you have those two double ones those are not exit row seats you they you think they are people get in them because you're like well xero's here i got space next to me it's it's too crowded normal seats right it's like so the exit there's like one really exit row you know why does only southwest do that like no seat i think they're changing they might change it i have a technique though for if you don't want people sitting next to you what bring a meal just eat it i do this on the subway too if you eat if you're eating no one wants to next to you like four days straight i just play hoop and don't i got my uh aaron weber uh on my podcast he said him and another big man if he sees a big dude sitting by the window he'll sit in that row with that big guy because no one wants to sit next to i've done big guys i've done that too i've done this big guy no but if there's a big guy there and then they're in the middle yeah no and then i go to the window then i then no one's sitting between us still no one wants to next to him right here all right now i'll tell you that story uh i got a phone call one day i wanted to make this thing it's a way for other comics to show themselves oh that's right you uh you're not hosting your own show they did them dirty aria forgot a way to put it up somewhere else you thought about bringing it back all the time i need your and tom's help you guys ready for this okay it's a crazy night we're gonna have here it's about to go down hello we're here to hear tom paul storytelling show telling true true stories word to word what happened my favorite please tell them the story my story is a love story it's about my first threesome bad first date about ball football got arrested um in your pants what the what the what the it's going on that's my story don't think about it just laugh it's funny ah shucks please get up mr tony hitchcliff i'll give you everything i have in my wallet oh yeah give me all of that that would have been the all-time best story to tell on this show hey everybody today's episode of yuppie champion is brought to you by super power you know i don't know if you ever go to the doctor and just get kind of like not good answers like drink more water or like you're doing great like great's not it's not it's not a definable amount you know that's a super power comes in uh one simple blood draw uh tests over a hundred biomarkers or their app includes detailed information on your heart liver thyroid hormones metabolism vitamin and mineral levels and even environmental toxins so from disease prevention to treating that annoying brain fog or just optimizing your gym game superpowers the most comprehensive and advanced 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yes so the way it works the the con the contractor now he's now government contractor this guy's a contractor contractor you get a guy like you're assigned a guy who which i still don't understand what a contractor is or what any of this stuff means a lot of contractors yeah which weird so much of the military base is run by private contractors even though it's all like the security of the military base isn't military it's private security which is odd and also the people that were taking care of us were private security instead of people building up all this stuff as contractors yeah yeah yeah so our guy you've seen all that stuff play out now so our guy i don't know what the guy's name was i can't remember i can't either but he had the fucking most bizarre accent he was so weird he was like for american but from a different country but he would say what this about everything like uh like in any context it's almost like forget about it in donnie brasco it was all these different meanings so like we'd be talking in the back seat like uh oh man i i hooked up with a girl one time what this yeah and it was it was almost like we decided it was he was hanging out with people who english was their second language right somehow his english had gotten worse because of that right i mean that was and and did he not have a crazy like cocaine sex story i think so i don't remember he he had some wild he was a wild guy it was one of those things like a we're like it just kept peeling away you're like we're in the hands of a complete psychopath in a war zone and he kept telling these stories and they would get crazier and crazier and he would drive kind of crazy and they all drive crazy i don't think he had a ponytail maybe he had a ponytail i must have a photo of him somewhere i wish i could remember they they all they i remember they all drove very crazy very fast uh like in kuwait like there's no i feel like no speed limit like he was yeah kind of oh yeah and there's no ambulance and it's like if you get an ambulance in an accident you just die on the side of the road what's this you know you don't remember him telling a story where he like does all this cocaine with his girl and they have sex and then he like she's bad or something like that you don't remember that's like one of the few things i remember from this trip that maybe all right sorry maybe i have to use the two i don't know maybe perhaps perhaps but no i i mean you're like didn't he the shoe you're like didn't he s*** the shoe you're like didn't he s*** the shoe through a table or something like that um no but he was just insane and the other weird thing about kuwait was like so you're kind of at a base f forward operating base which i forget the name of the main one fob yeah and then we would it's just the three letters of what you said key fob forward operating base so what do they call it fob you'd have all this oh jesus there goes the whole recording all deleted yeah um so yeah you just hang out all day it was like long hours hours and then I felt bad because we had gone and done it before and you thought this was going to be the travel event of a lifetime like we were doing Insomnia with Dave Attell a lot of sitting around and we just sat on like basketball bleachers for like four hours talking about which comics we hated not unlike what we do most of the time all the time are we going to town you're like town yeah we never yeah we never left the base you couldn't drink on the base we played a lot of racquetball were you allowed very good at racquetball uh yeah yeah back back then I was good at racquetball were you allowed to leave the base no not at all no they wouldn't take us anywhere you couldn't do anything so we would and even when we had days off they would fill our days off with these tours which were sometimes cool and then sometimes like can we not can we not do the tour you could kind of feel like they don't want to do it yeah no one wants to do it exactly yeah like you just like because I think they're just they got to find something like well we have these guys out there and they're like oh we're not going to do it and they're like oh we're not going to do it and they're like oh we're not going to do it and they're like oh we're not going we're not going to do it and they're like oh we're not going to do it and they're like oh we're not here and so we gotta we don't want to it's one of those no one wants to waste each other's time when you're kind of like hey you can waste our don't we we're we're just hanging out we're good yeah but there's like a movie theater you can go see movies uh there's you know there's there's like a convenience store type walmart store type not as big as walmart but like where it's got just a bunch of random stuff in what's that uh get a haircut oh yeah there's a name for the store and they like it's like walmart like there's everything there's like groceries and a motorcycle yeah you and then uh what the you could watch the movie you get a haircut we got a haircut yeah uh one of the movies we watched was hall pass i remember that they sing the national anthem before the movie and then you watch hall pass which is such a funny dichotomy to like have the star spangled banner everyone's at attention and then they're like here's hall pass man and it's a not a good movie what's that called oh i want to think of it though but they also like they showed us the uh like and then they're like oh i want to think of it though but they also like they showed us the uh and the tours would be interesting though to see some of the stuff i remember seeing like a was it apache helicopter is that the crazy that we met like a lady who like who who flew the apache helicopter and this the helicopter is so crazy like every inch of it's for one it's like one person fits in there every inch is controls so you're like how what different thing are you controlling and this lady was so bad i got she like wasn't supposed to be able to drive them but then you got the laser eye surgery so she could and like yeah it's just like it's just like it's weapon is all it is it was pretty badass also i did a bit about this for a while they don't tell you they shoot flares out the side of the helicopter every flight to throw off the radar or some kind of thing but they don't they didn't tell us it's if you got an rpg yeah it's like an rpg came up at you it would try to attract that so we're flying in the helicopter all of a sudden you just hear like you feel heat and see like a red thing i'm like they're shooting yeah i'm like and then they're like oh no we do that on everything and i'm like well can you just give us a heads up that you're gonna be firing rockets they're so used to it and this was that was definitely on their more fun trip to yeah we didn't do anything cool like that no wait so you didn't do anything in kuwait you just stayed in a base all the time and the tours yeah it was cool did you see anything like i said sometimes cool sometimes i feel like i remember the tours what tour well they would take us around the base i remember once i think i had a very uh i can't remember exactly what i did but some kind of faux pas with an injured so i think i had a very uh i can't remember exactly what i did but some kind of faux pas with an injured soldier like we're supposed to visit the injured soldier and i think i said i can't remember exactly what i said or something like so so what have you been up to there's something something really stupid and it was very embarrassing i have a bullet in my sternum so they had us go visit the injured soldiers which i felt bad because i'm like well this they didn't even see the show it's maybe how you doing yeah yeah maybe maybe something like that yeah something like that i was just like i i don't know i'm just trying to make small talk it's like seinfeld going in to visit the kid yeah because i'm gonna kill this yeah they had us do a show at the at kuwait kuwait was uh i lost my wedding ring in kuwait uh yeah i mean i was pretty newly married and i lost my wedding ring pretty immediately uh and i left it in kuwait so but why'd you take it off i don't really like a wing i don't wear it now yeah i don't wear one either people married no kidding totally married wow yeah thanks congratulations do you remember i once we did you did karaoke and and joe puts on a show when you do karaoke and and i was like i thought it was awesome but like the other army people like man what's wrong with you they were like we did kuwait you did bass i think you did a thing called love no some another guy did a thing called love and you did something else and you were going all off and nuts and they were like man what's with your friend i have no memory of that you know what i'm talking about we did karaoke i think yeah yes you did karaoke yeah wait hold on there was a military karaoke going on on the base and then i was like yeah i mean i can't imagine another yeah unless we went to another military base some other time i don't think so no yeah how'd you get this gig uh scott kennedy i think i knew scott and i introduced y'all to scott yeah you yeah i already gone with him and i mean you and i went with him on that awesome amazing perfect beautiful trip yeah yes well because yeah we went with kuwait uh i i never i wanted to go to afghanistan i never got to go to afghanistan but uh i went over there a bunch but like we went to iraq you know we that's where you fly in the black hawks i remember flying to kirkuk and i don't remember if you were there if we're one time it's flying to kirkuk and it's like where abraham the prophet like his house is there where he lived like you're just i mean it's unbelievable like you're just on the oldest i remember flying in a helicopter and you're flying over for an hour you're flying and it's like you're flying over the ocean like there's no lights right but you're not over the ocean you're over just wow and it's just completely dark and you're just like i'm the farthest from anywhere my home or anything there's if something happens there's not you don't see little towns you don't see anything that's crazy did you fly in a c-130 the big bomber i didn't fly in anything yeah we were also in the big bomber and they let me go into the cockpit as well which you were in the big bomber and they let me go into the cockpit as well you had done before and they put night vision goggles on we were flying into baghdad with all the lights with night vision in the cockpit it was unbelievable and then nate and i we have a picture that was stolen from us that we were flying into uh into c-130 it was completely empty it was just the two of us in a c-130 which pull up a c-130 it's like a it's bigger than a 747 and it's just the two of us sitting back there crazy you never even put on a bulletproof vest or a helmet or anything nothing fun our picture is that yeah where's our pictures that creek in the cave right yeah i see it all the time it's so funny yeah well that the story behind that photo by the way nate was moving away we had a going away party and i framed this beautiful photo of the two of us as a gift to nate he just left it didn't give a shit i got it and then i went back i was like hey you forgot your gift i'll go get it and i went back to the creek in the cave and it was just hanging yeah like she's like oh perfect and so now it's hanging at the green room in um in austin yeah no way yeah that's cool that's a cool picture it's nate's yeah yeah it was awesome it was the most thoughtful gift i've i loved it i'm sure that night was a little little crazy yeah it was a little spicy but this episode is brought to you by state farm listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling Smart move. Another smart move? Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. Yeah, but we flew around in the C-130. When they do those two, they do a spiral landing. No way. What? Because you're coming down, so you're not shot at, so it's like just, and it's like a 360. So you're over a safe space the whole time. Oh, so instead of going like that, they do it all in one, oh wow. So you're not at like 10,000 feet. Is it making nauseous? A couple miles away. Not, well, we're men. Yeah. So, no. Scared to take a bath, but. Going to. Yeah, with other men, yeah. Again. What were the toilets like there in the base? I feel like we have to start making stuff up. Yeah. Oh, crazy. There was thorns and blood and landmines. The toilets were nice. It was like a, it was, all they had was a very, very nice gym. So that's why we played racquetball. We played racquetball, we played basketball. Also, we watched the, that might have been the other trip too. The Notre Dame National Championship where they got killed. I have, oh yeah. Definitely. Look, I can send some. Well, Facebook, you can go to my Facebook and they're all on there. Oh yeah, so that's at Saddam's Palace. So that's where we were. Oh yeah. We hit golf clubs into, so you're on his, in his palace. PX. PX. The PX. The PX. That's the Walmart. Wow. Yeah, I got a bunch of photos like this of us smoking Cubans. Well, that's the crazy thing about Iraq. Sorry, Louie. You go to Saddam's Palace, which is now an American military base, and they also have a humidor filled with Cuban cigars. You can just go in and get your Cuban cigar and pull it out and smoke it. So we sat smoking Cuban cigars at Saddam Hussein's Palace. This is the one that you went on. This is Nate's. Yeah. Happy place. Yeah. So, again, decked out in Vandy. This is the puka shell necklace phase of my life. This is. Look at the McDonald's, baby. I want McDonald's after this. This is pre. Huh? Let's get McDonald's after this. Oh yeah. I've had it recently, man. I had it delivered two days ago. Yeah. We had. This was pre-LASIK. You look so different, dude. Look at that. That's crazy. Why? Yeah, I mean. Does it trip you out to look like you can see yourself? Yeah. I feel like I'm back to that. Look at a young Joe list. I look beautiful. This is probably a lot of me and Joe. Yeah, this is the. This is the Iraq one? That's Kuwait. That's Kuwait. That's Kuwait. I said both. You said both. Yeah, that's Kuwait. So that's where a lot of hanging out. Like, so there's a lot of, you know, you would just be. Damn. A lot of hoop. Basketball. There's a lot of that. You're there for a couple weeks. I remember calling in a Vales to the cellar. From there? Yeah. From there. From Kuwait. Nice form. That's nice. That's nice form. Wow. Put the hand in the cookie jar, baby. Look at that butt. I know. I remember calling in Vales to the cellar from Kuwait, still not getting anything. And I would. And I would say, I'm in Kuwait, trying to. I would think, maybe that'll trigger her into going like, oh, yeah, he can do some spots. Still never got spots. And that's Biff from Back to the Future. You might remember. Look, there's Kuwait. There's a gas fire, oil fire, whatever you call it, refinery. That's out the window of the car. There's some. That's their animals. Sheep. Ghosts. That's their pets. Look at this. There's the stage. A little sound check. Yeah. That looks familiar. I'm on this trip? No, no, no. But he has the other album. Yeah, there you go. They show out to work. But this is the one people. That looks like it might be us. Yeah, there's us in the green room. Look how fun we are right there. Look at that ass. We're pretending to talk. We're both doing the exact pretend to talk. Yeah. There we are. Oh, look at that. With me is Sinatra. There's the digital camera. Yeah, there's Sinatra. Oh, yeah. A little elf. It revealed. Boom. Yeah, you'd have to wear. That's the one from the creek. Yeah. That looks like the one from the creek. No, that's not the creek one. That's a different one. But it's the same idea. Look at those headphones. Black jackets. I have a feeling you're going to come to it. Oh, see, this is us with a bunch of guys who probably. I can't tell if they liked us or hated us. It's hard to tell. But it was a very small space, so your knees would be kind of in a lot of. This is the C-130? That's the C-130, yeah. That's the back of it. It's open. Oh, look at this. And there's a. Mountain Dew! Is that how you say it? Mountain Dew! You can tell it's glassy when you put Mountain Dew in a glass. Oh. I had a big Mountain Dew face. Look at that. That's Saddam's Palace right there. Really? Absolutely. Wow. Look at my ass, by the way. Take me, please. Oh, maybe that's not Saddam's Palace. That's a different base. It was hot. This trip was hot and long. So go back one. There's Scott Kennedy. Go back one. So that's where you would go stand if the siren went off and there was, like, bombs being launched at the base. If Louie was on stage, you ran and dove under here. That's roomier than a Southwest Airlines bathroom. Yeah, yeah. But we had it. I think it was only one time, I remember, everything went off and you just had to go take off in there. And there's Scott. He's no longer with us. RIP. I asked him once. It was like, hey, do you ever, like, I was new to L.A. and, like, I was like, do you ever get worried, like, hitting on somebody that if they're straight, they might beat you up? And he's like, I'll beat them up. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah, he was, yeah, I mean, dude, he went over there. I mean, his schedule, because it'd be every two weeks, he would go and come home and be home for two weeks, and then he'd go back. Wow. This is a cool base. This is Iraq. Louis, this is what you missed out on, I mean. Yeah, it looks pretty cool. So, wait, let me go to the other one. What? I mean, I got. This is all the good stuff. Wait, get to it. Come on, just rip through. Go to the palace. Look at it. There's a bunker. There's a show. Look at that guy. He's loving me. Look at it. They put the black people on the outside? It's great. Long sleeve, under the short sleeve. Nailing. I remember those guys. I remember those guys, too. They liked me. More than they liked you. I don't know. They kept saying that. The other guys sucked. Here we are, on top of a crane thing. Look at that, huh? Look at the size of that tire. I'm 6'2". How hot is it here? It's hot. Oh, she wears the sleeves just to not get sunburned? For the sun, yeah. Wow. That's a very Jewy move. I like it. I'm not Jewy. It's a Jewy move. He's not Jewy. Thank you. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. Look at that. Now, look at that show. Wow. That one. So, they're all just standing around. Yeah. Spaced out. This is a COVID show. And they asked them to go out there. They're like, We got these two **** heads. Could you go watch that two guys? Yeah, they don't. All with guns. It's like a show in central Philadelphia. They make them go. Because it's like, the one thing that Scott did that was good is he would go to small FOBs. So, forward operating bases. So, he would go to the bases that they would not get. A lot of people would go to Kuwait or maybe some Baghdad. There's some big stuff. But Scott would always be like, No, we'll go to this small little operating base. So, he'd be doing a show. Wow. And they're just not allowed. There's that many people there. That's like 12 people. I remember doing it once. This is like the Trump rallies where they go, Look how many people. And then you're like, Oh. I remember the one show. I do one show and like we're, I'm standing and they made, these guys just got off a mission. And so, they made them go, You're going to go watch them. And we're like, It's like eight. My friend died today. Yeah. It's like eight in the morning. And we're like, We don't have to do the show. And they go, No, no, no. Y'all came all the way here. They're going to watch your show. And so, then I'm standing in front of a buffet. And a guy walks. So, they're having to watch. And then a guy walks in and just starts making food from the buffet and just walks around me. And I'm just standing there. I had no microphone doing his show. Jeez. Look at that. Certificate of appreciation. March of 2011. There you go. Wow. Those are the good times. Company Raging Bulls. Number 1 Battalion. 21st Entry Regiment. Certificate of Operating Brace. War Horse. Forward Operating Brace. War Horse. That was Fob. War Horse. Damn. But I want to see the Kuwait ones. Or how many more? 57 out of 90. All right. Well, you don't have to go through all these. Yeah. Let's go to. These are way better. The what? Well, why don't you zoom out to the multiple and see. And we'll tell you to pop in. Oh, that's a cool photo. That's right here. That's cool. That's a great photo. Yeah. Helicopter went. You just had to keep your head down. Dirt went everywhere. Just kicking up sand. Yep. Oh, that's what it sounds like. Nate Pouting was the caveat. Nate Pouting. Wow. That must have been really cool. That was super cool. How many years out of comedy are you guys at this point? 2011? I was 31. Joe was 40. Joe started in 93. 76. Could you shoot any of these? Could you shoot guns out of the helicopter? I didn't shoot any guns. No, they didn't shoot. I went another time in shotguns, but I didn't this trip. It was. We've been in comedy. Is that the one on the wall? Eight years. No. I've been doing comedy 11 years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I started in 03. Yeah. That's embarrassing. I started early. This is Saddam's palace. Here we are. That's Saddam's. Yeah. What a terrible. This is probably the helps. I think that's a bidet, though, not a toilet. It looks like a bidet. Where's the toilet? Oh, the toilet's in the bottom corner. Yeah. Look, just see those little standing showers. That's it. So the big thing with his palace. Whoa. So, you know, this is where he did the interview with. CNN or something. Theo Epstein. I meant to say Theo Fong, D-O-F-C. - Who is, what's Saul's name? isn't diane sawyer i'm pretty sure it was either her or someone else there it is yeah there it is how about that look at that you put in the comments uh oh yeah so they sat in that chair those two chairs pretty cool and did that interview and so when we're in there so big thing all the gold that he has on there it's all painted it wasn't there's not it's not real gold or anything so the outside and everything would always be painted real gold because he the point he wanted to look so like when everybody looks they're like oh wow that guy's the yeah he's the leader and uh so when we i remember doing um everybody's day they were like arnold schwarzenegger came and stayed in this place and all this stuff uh but when they we took over this base the day they attacked it he also had lions and tigers and like a bunch of wildlife like that so the soldiers like not only have to go you know fight all the humans they're also like he's got tigers running around jesus oh there's the diane so yeah that's the diane so are you doing the mock-up of that yeah saddam said in that other seat wow did you sniff the seat did you sniff a seat no no you're talking to yourself yeah because i think we were going to do something fun with it oh yeah there was we had a lot of high hopes with a lot of stuff yeah we had a video of me going to try to go to the bathroom we filmed it for two weeks i still have it somewhere that's his handwriting yeah saddam hussein wrote some that i forget the story there blt rye hold the mayo there we are look at that what is this jets football that's his um yeah his big car driving right is that a river no it's a pool it's like a reflecting pool that's a but they'd carp in there people would fish no wow yes he could fish and he's got his own kind of lake basically right yeah i mean this is all his power like so it's wow yeah i mean it really is just a reflecting pool yeah that's huge it would be huge it's like if you had like half a manhattan pool and you had like half a manhattan pool and you had half a manhattan pool and you had half a manhattan with something around it like a wall around it that's like what his palace was look at this let me put a driving range there america baby how's your form here compared to now it's better now okay this was pre-lessons pre-anything pre-playing really a lot you know yeah uh look at joe yeah flexibility he had it back then oh i got it uh i did a baseball while taking your hand off it well it's supposed to be a bit what's um what is this where you eat yeah saddam would eat that's where you yeah look at that that's i mean it seems so fun to be out there in that i mean you're these big i mean it's you know it's in it's it was crazy that's where you would go in the you know ride through the streets of baghdad in the suburban well that was another fun thing is when you rode through the streets when you'd go through an underpass under a bridge that the trucks would be staggered like this and then they would switch underneath so people couldn't drop bombs off the top of the overpass how would that help oh really so you'd come out in a different place so like you'd be staggered so one car is like this one car is like this and as you go under they go like this so you think you're going to time it and drop it the cars switch position it's just going to hit the other car no it just hits the side of the other car well the other car and there's the the cross swords this is like where the they tore the statue down and everything wow look at my piece side this is where they tore the what the statue wow remember when we thought we kind of yeah this was like like so like when we were doing we were there it's a little like uh you're a little nerve-wracking because you're just on the streets yeah we got out this is a part we're in the streets and it's literally still a war zone yeah like the war is ongoing and i took a photo with no photographs classic classic what a scallywag what was it what was it like as a city like uh it's i mean you're looking at it so that's that's uh his son's palace it's like gaza yeah and so that's where they built it yeah and so that's where they built it yeah and so that's where they built it yeah and so that's where they built it yeah that's where they bombed so when they dropped when they first dropped the bombs they hit his son's palace first look at that yeah yeah yeah what wow look at these photos i mean that is something wow yeah he's got to go up and drill this photography a good point wow i mean that is spectacular sepia tones sepia tone wow i made love to her i'm just trying to pick up the podcast that's my friend from high school that's brennan holbrook yeah possibly brian holbrook if you're watching this and you're watching this you're brian holbrook they were twins yeah and this is where we found some beer when he guns at each other that's crazy damn right that's right yeah i went to high school with this guy we happen to look at that this is the way we had a good time so he was just stationed there yeah he happened to be there it was crazy look at those big this is look at that it's cool this is one of them when i'd go to the going to the bathroom thing yes that's so i'd always like it was like the idea i was looking for a bathroom the whole time that's a beauty oh yeah we staggered out i mean look at these these colors this is spectacular it's about going to the bathroom in iraq don't you uh it's your booty it's like number one or number two is that your bit yeah yeah look at those cuban cigars cubans so this saddam's cubans probably the best trip of my whole life unbelievable you can't get out of here look at that picture look at those i mean that's spectacular all right let's get to it it just keeps going up that's the photo yeah that's the one that's the photo that's the famous yeah i do recognize that yeah there you go nate looks like hell wow you look smaller i was a mess man jesus christ okay oh here i am reading decision points which i thought was a funny bit too yeah okay that was the one okay that was a good trip let's go let's go the reason he's here the reason we're all here you know what go back to that was fun i think the first one here it is i went to quake again there we go there's this date looks mad at louis there if i know no we have like how does this guy still have hair i mean you have the middle seat we appreciate it good looking yeah that's how you earned the big leather seat this time yeah i'm smelling my hand oh this is because when we landed there was some kind of weird wet stuff on my luggage i checked my bag which i never do and it was just damp i came back and the suitcase was damp so that's me smelling it it looks like you just fingered a yeah just really give her a blast look at that beauty huh see you saw some good sights look at that those are some nice clouds look at that's a good sun look at that no parking signs this is us giving you the tour of quake because you guys have already been there there's the fire truck they had they were were you in kuwait on the other trip we went to kuwait you go to quake and then you from there you go to iraq and then that's a beautiful yeah that's a good photo what a cool picture yeah i need to get this from on a tank that is cool yeah that is it wasn't the first time i was on a tank in that time period if you don't know louis always working blue you gotta do it he can't do it this is hard for him to do anything that's a funny face like you're blowing people up oh yeah i love the army guys must be like yeah it's funny i actually was just doing that yesterday yeah i should have got a haircut then oh look at that a tank how do people listen to this podcast of us going through photo are they gonna see this yeah this part won't be great they'll see the photos if on youtube this is definitely a youtube one okay yeah this part won't just take you back at all do you remember the smells that's good pre in the middle of the podcast this part won't be great for the audio this is what you want to switch over for sure me riding the tank is cool yeah what'd you get an award for biggest dork oh that's hurtful i'm on the trip with louis yeah slam second place at worst i really want the second place dork award uh this is on youtube though now i'm self-conscious is this the worst episode come on no this is really great but this part you'll want to be here to see all these pictures maybe let's lay them in what what uh what uh was there anything you wanted to do there you didn't do well louis want to do everything we did anything see the country oh this is awesome yeah yeah we got sold a bad uh bill of goods because i think i think nate was like oh yeah we're gonna go see the world and louis showed up and was like wait what is going on here look at that that's i mean that's that's how we perform like for that what a wild are those seats facing away from you yeah those are the bleachers for when bigger acts come they turn around that was for when gary well we this one uh i think he knew we weren't going to iraq yeah i knew we were going to iraq but i still thought we'd see some like we didn't see kuwait really yeah well i don't know if there's you're not allowed just went to a base i thought they had already taken back kuwait didn't they take back kuwait right away yeah i think they had kuwait so why couldn't you walk around kuwait the uh there's a lot of times when like because you're just on the you're yeah you're on the kuwait but i don't i don't i don't think the deal is if they want we want to keep a base there the americans stay the fuck out of their country well the other thing is that in kuwait they kind of they need you more because they're so bored they're just as bored as we are like in iraq war the people in kuwait are just kind of sitting around waiting to go get sent out so they're like want they're in more need of comedy that was just like this with the station where they keep them before they went into combat yeah that's like our main spot that was like the fob in kuwait is like much much bigger it's like uh i don't know yeah m oh there he is that's his m that's him he was that's who what the hell's his name yeah that's what this yeah what's this he was bald but kind of long hair bald with long hair yes isn't that the name of the movie the movie the movie the movie the thing too in all the long hair no it was this x whatever px px yeah that's him what this he was great i wish i could remember more details but we were we were like howling laughing at everything he was so weird he was so crazy and he was obsessed with women unlike me were there were they hot at all the army chicks this is actually this one the one who drove the apache flew the apache was hot i remember that i probably have a photo there's louis on stage right there you can probably in front of a tv which is hilarious probably like turn the goddamn tv this must have been like the best show this looks like an actual show yeah yeah right it is though yeah it's pretty bright well pretty bright high ceilings not ideal yeah they're drinking cups of coffee this guy's on his computer that's so rude doesn't it look like you're a foot and a half tall because the tv is like three feet higher than i think this is wait is this a show from louis last week that's a good photo both wearing band-aids well louis was cold he was cold so i gave him my jacket oh that's adorable yeah you look like woody allen right there no a little bit and what's going on oh there's a soccer match yeah i think we were watching play just watching army people play soccer that's a beautiful photo here's right here we go i remember louis oh this is what i remember with this trip it was infuriating because you were like a poker player doesn't know how to play poker you suck but kept winning like you'd hit it like upside out and it would go over i'm good at racquetball no no no i remember it would like hit your wrist and then you'd win by accident no i'm good at racquetball accidentally no are you wearing sunglasses these are my podcast glasses what what what i podcast in these glasses what do you mean i just started this right now this episode no one other one other podcast before this what are they from now on i podcast in these glasses is it because why why just decided i like it thanks i like it now that's funny that is funny make it make your shorts into a diaper small shorts yeah i mean look how much bigger you look at me it looks crazy you have so much time because there's not a lot to do so it's like it's like you get down the racquetball and you're like you guys want to go play racquetball look there's kuwait i don't remember we were driving and you were like can we get out because i remember you i distinctly remember you being like can we just get out and like walk and they're like no what this that must have been infuriating for you as somebody likes to travel and then going like no you can't yeah what the doing here it's great i mean but that's also a thing with like a lot of these contract gigs where like i know they tried to get me to go to japan and they're like but you can't see japan afterwards i'm like i'm not going i'm i mean what i'm glad to perform for the troops but that's my one thing is that i get to see japan we're at peace with them now where'd you go in 1946 no they just don't want they don't want to complicate their business they want to buy the flights for you they don't want yeah they don't want you they don't have to worry about you yeah or like if you get in trouble or something like that so all right the war was over in 46 it ended in 45 um okay i just want to get facts right here can you edit that out and make me say something right 1943 a lot of misinformation out there i don't remember this yeah that was nice that was the uh these dudes pictures are everywhere who are the chic looking guys well that's that's a crazy thing though you go you go into like the the the head of the command of the american army base and all the pictures are lined the walls are lined with like basically chic looking dudes because it's kuwait and it's like there's your girl louis there's you talking to her yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm not as hot as i remember whoa that's unnecessary hey hey hey come on come on yeah you can probably look her up what's the last name 2011 yeah that was the beginning of the end when that was the beginning of the end right no i kept that hair for like another decade it was a horrible mistake just right there wow i can't believe it was that bad then i had no idea i couldn't even see dave chapelle chapelle headlined this show he's still on stage whoa look at that that's a bazooka it's so cool for in comedy to be able to get it set to a trip like this with buddies oh yeah yeah it's pretty well that's what this one was so good i mean with scott you became good friends with scott and most people that go but a lot of times you'd go over there it might be a couple comics you don't really know that well but then you get to know them i went jack occasion we went over there once and uh and so like it's but this one was like crazy because it was this was the only one that because i've been in they were like oh yeah you can i was like can i bring i specifically could bring yeah three people that you're like oh it was a bringer yeah yeah look at that tucked in was that a set list keeps the talk probably set list or you're probably sketching things you wanted to see i thought they never showed you look how mad he is this is not what i signed up for that's him really taking it in thinking about remember that's the one thing i remembered was all these controls right there i mean like that was that was like a thing for me yeah yeah she was not enjoying you well looking back you're like this is probably the worst part of their day that they were like oh and babysitting wednesday i have to show three how to yeah i wonder if they remember this and go no they're all successful comics they're all like like like it would be like in college if you remember don't people remember like people that came and spoke at their college or something like maybe i mean i didn't go to college all right this is cool they like oh i remember being up there they make like they create a runway where there's no runway i was pretty cool you could i mean i know it's every runway but it's like it was just pretty cool yeah and the guy who was who was uh commanding all the planes was like 19 it would be like blew me away it was and he had this crazy important job because here's the runway we go what's all helicopters he goes yeah we didn't think about that it's a good point yeah you didn't get to 90 oh you're showing this i see keep going we got some good stuff coming up some crazy to go down there's a bus a camel same exact green room that's probably why you take the picture look at the camera's different i probably dropped it trying to get one of those it has a good shot it's doing this looks like the post for the next special yep is that austin 316 yeah this is back in kuwait i'm pretty sure oh this is all in kuwait never mind yeah that's the main base though i remember that place well speed kills slow down fast and see everybody just flies everybody just drives as fast as they want yeah there's no there's no speed limit yeah you just do whatever you want whatever you want damn i think we probably sat in that van for four hours because that's the other thing when you're there on a military trip anybody in the military gets priority over you so you'd sit in a helicopter and we're like here we go and then they're like no these two lieutenants gotta go and so you'd get out of the helicopter so we did so much of this it's funny to do a podcast on a trip where we literally just sat in a minivan most of the time yeah you know there's a there was a show that was me i put a dick in mitt romney's mouth yeah show where uh i mean what someone had a story where it was like a comic because you that you would you're getting helicopters to go so you kind of you're kind of waiting yeah and so they were they were sitting on the helicopter then another person ran up and they go robert hawkins robert hawkins and they go you got to get off these people got to go and then that helicopter got shot down yeah wow who's robert hawkins robert hawkins very funny comic yeah and he would have got shot down yeah if you don't know robert hawkins his albums are on spotify they're amazing yeah you should have him on the pod to talk about yeah he's done a lot of stuff a lot better than that he has like yeah you really should yeah that's the story i think this was a barbecue i think that can there was canadian forces there and i think the canadians were barbecuing do you remember that yeah that's right and then there was an iraqi guy that was on our team do you remember that guy he was kind of kooky i think i have a photo of him yeah i hope he got out he's uh yeah he's like from iraq but joined our team yeah yeah he's so funny dude he's also he's got around comic comedy for the most part seriously yes but he had what was called uh every once in a while yeah he has this really funny bit about the blue angels kind of making fun of them but they heard the bit they liked it and then he got to fly with them yeah and like do their whole thing yeah when he got off and they crashed and died canada wow that was pretty crazy right good memory all right how was the food on these bases any good yeah they were like grilling it was fun i mean i remember one time and uh they said they're like they have they brought in chicken they go here's the chicken and you're like man ain't no chickens here well i don't remember this i do this was like a like a transport uh boat we they showed us this so he wanted to see the guns like but this thing can transport stuff like show us the guns you know like i'm not a toddler yeah i don't remember being at the water there yeah this was that was the persian gulf canadian barbecue i do remember this in arabic no it's just blurry damn you're looking for anything great great trip this is beautiful how many how long were you guys there for a couple weeks i think 10 days 10 days yeah you guys got any fights uh i remember once i was like that's when they turned to god i was like said something to joe about like the food he picked for like when we're eating like kind of like a oh boy i uh i think of it see a jewish way to be friendly like ah busting his balls and you're like well you do it your way and i do it my way you were like not happy well it's hard because we sat around look at these movies yeah it's paranormal activity three hangover two we bought a zoo we bought a zoo is canceled for and you're going to all of them puss in boots yeah yeah like it's we bought a zoo but you are like all day every day with somebody for 11 days yeah just hanging out yeah you're gonna get a little spicy but they didn't not too bad that's all i remember really was you were like just let me eat how i want to eat and i was like okay sorry yeah joe doesn't want people telling him how to eat nobody there you go that was their poster i think i have that poster somewhere entertain wow that's beautiful January 2012 January 2012 I remember that oh wow January 13 yeah you're right almost exactly 12 years almost exactly that's crazy 13 years ago yeah to the inclement weather the comedy show will be held in the movie tent that's gonna be way better and bingo you pushed bingo back you fucked bingo up yeah the comedy show on the autograph session if there was an autograph session yes we signed all those posters yeah yeah the movie yeah I mean no one wants I bet not a single military person has those Bobby Lee was on this trip yeah probably none of them there must be someone in his shelf somewhere like at the end of Indiana Jones there it is wow here's the flight okay look at it 36G 23C is it 36 G look at how we have paper tickets like even that yeah it's like hey group A baby that's pretty nice away to Istanbul Istanbul New York oh this is on the way back this is at the airport I remember this that's the airport no yeah I think this is the beginning I think it's back no this is the airport this is we're heading back to Istanbul that's why I was showing the ticket now you're drinking Coca-Cola yeah so we're at the airport I remember eating there and I'm drinking two now you're double fisting just like you're double fisting beers before yeah I have diabetes probably at this point I couldn't wait to get a cocktail oh yeah wait did you get a good seat I don't know no no but go that one looked like it was first class maybe you just took a picture of the first class where oh no that was a I'm sorry I'm sorry edit that out oh look at that that's a funny funny bit I'm reading how to survive an airplane crash on the plane that's how I make the big bucks that's a long flight look at that that's a long flight that's what you did yeah that's what we did we flew man cool trip it was a very cool trip it was it was very fun damn it was just fun to hang I think if we cut this down to 30 minutes this will be pretty good I think so too yeah I wish you had someone that worked for you uh yeah it always it does get bad it's the second one I've done like those where people go oh look at that one oh that's cool yeah that's cool it's usually like reference the photos afterwards let me show you one can you put those in so people can see them yeah we put them in okay alright that's cool um solid guys this sounds like a great trip yeah yeah it was special it was wonderful and we've all kept in touch we all talk every January 13th we all get on the phone and we call each other around the Kuwait trip do you uh this is what I do at the end of these tell me about some place you want to go and also a travel tip in general well Louie wants to go to Kuwait he's never seen it yeah Louie you should go can you go now it's probably safe now I'm good I think I saw you should go to Iraq yeah what's calling you guys any place you're like I want to go to uh Australia New Zealand you've never been I still haven't performed there it's my last hope that comedy internationally is good somewhere Australia after a horrible Edinburgh experience oh that's a different thing that's a festival Melbourne comedy's great Sydney comedy's great I want to see us because the Australians seem like they do comedy like us so I kind of want to go there just to do comedy there but travel wise go to Comics Lounge in Melbourne you've been a lot of places yeah I have been a lot of places yeah but yeah where do you want to Vietnam I've never been to I've heard that's awesome I've been to Vietnam I've been to Vietnam too when were you there uh on a I forget the year but it was like a gig really yeah wow it was it was like my crazy story with Paul Allen the billionaire oh yeah yeah yeah I got put on the boat oh I forgot that was there I thought that was I remember mostly the boat yeah yeah we flew to Vietnam and then Singapore and we got on Singapore wait you hung with Paul Allen yeah oh there's like more recent no it's like a better story than the last two every story we've alluded to is better than the stories from the podcast it's a better story it's not for this podcast I'll save it for Rogan yeah imagine when we were all in Ecuador and the horse got away we had to chase the horse back I don't have time did who went with did you go to where did we go I had that joke about it this snakes like the did it go Burma Burmese pythons no it was Cuba or something no no like down there South America Colombia Brazil point oh my gosh I'm blanking on the names where did he touch you Brazil Venezuela don't blank on them they're all here El Salvador Peru and Honduras that's where you want I didn't talk about Honduras yeah I did some shows there we went from USO to there to Greenland I was in Greenland for 24 hours it was dark the whole time soon to be the 51st state yeah that's right it was dark the whole time and when you walked around they had big big coats hanging and you had to wear the coats because it was minus whatever and then also when you walked around at night it was like walk with purpose because there's polar bears Jesus polar bears so like go quick don't just yeah yeah don't go or that the purpose scares them off like this guy well it's like I can't bother him right now don't drink coke yeah just remember that there's polar bears that's scary I'm trying to think where do you guys want to go I want to go to Japan I've always wanted to go well now it's hard because I just had a baby but I'd like to go to spend a few days in Tokyo and then go down to Mount Fuji Fiji I mean Fuji or Fiji which one Fuji Fiji's the island over here I'd like to go to the far east but it's hard with the baby right now also York in the UK I've always wanted to go it's supposed to be spectacular really York I was in this is how I like to travel sometimes when I was in Wales this woman I was talking to was like you've got to go to York it's the most beautiful city on earth and she's like there's a great park there also and I was like oh maybe I'll go there then sometimes you go to one place and someone's like you've got to go to this place and so you go Wales is the best trip I've ever done in my life really it's spectacular Wales oh it was awesome yeah I think I want to go to Australia you know where have you never been I've been to Australia I'm sorry I've been to Australia Italy you've never been to Italy I've never been to Italy do you know where your family's from there yeah they're more at the top kind of the Switz yeah I bet I like how he doesn't know the country he's just reading it off the map it's like they're Switz well I've been to Germany remember we had 24 hours in Frankfurt right that's right yeah and there was nothing it was unfun I have photos from that too and we go we have one of those we have one of those we get a layover in Germany we're like alright we're gonna go hit it and then it's just it's nothing's open it was like 7am on a Tuesday and we couldn't even go indoors I think it was yeah yeah we thought like something would be and it's that place just shuts down and then the only thing right before we had to go back they were like opening for breakfast yes and so we were like oh maybe something I'll pick Philippines Dubai I'm excited about going to Dubai like I want to see really it's supposedly everybody that goes to Dubai says it's crazy I podcasted this last week with somebody who went to Dubai did he say it's crazy he said it's just like really nice yeah yeah I've heard it's like Vegas without the sex or the drugs which sounds horrible yeah Singapore I've heard Singapore has good food Singapore is good and I went to the best zoo I've ever been to it was in Singapore they have they have an amazing zoo there they have a night zoo what so the animals are up the animals are up so the whole point of the zoo so it's all like you know dimly lit and you just kind of you walk around and I mean the animals are moving really and it's it's wild dude oh wow and so you hear the lions are roaring everybody's really active there was a tiger and the tiger was like pacing and I remember we looked and I could see the tiger I made eye contact with the tiger and it was like you felt that tiger just stopped and started staring at us oh god and he felt like that moment of like this is what it would feel like like he's just he's just like well what are you and yeah it was it's the coolest coolest place I've ever been Singapore nights they should do that here I don't know they really should it's like somewhere they do a don't they do nights at the zoo or like a sleepover nights at the zoo sometimes yeah yeah yeah that's more about a party vibe but this one is designed to see more animals it's yeah yeah it's it's it's yeah it was awesome yeah because those animals are up night times usually right because at day time they're just kind of laying around yeah nocturnal nocturnal nice that's right fancy so I mean everything's active everything's moving everything it was very very cool all right you guys got any tips for travel then we'll get out of here pack light do something don't drink on the plane we never tip when he travels boom juice hotels when you look up hotels yeah always look at if you look pictures of hotels look at the bathroom and so the bathroom had a it's maybe a little different now because the the bathroom has a glass shower yeah that means it's at least been renovated and updated now that being said that's good that was this was that helped more when it was really glass showers were kind of newer thing they're getting now they've been around for a minute no I still stay in hotels where it doesn't and it's like yeah the stains yeah yeah so like you always just go if you can just get a glimpse of that bathroom and see that's a bit just look if you can get a glimpse of a bathroom of a hotel on the website that will tell you if it's been updated or not more so I think than the room that's not bad because the room could be the room can always look kind of the same or whatever but just just look at the bathroom and see if and then that lets you know that's not bad that's good I guess well there's always if you need water there's always water in the gym that's a big travel thing there's always a water like a water cooler in the gym you can fill up your water bottle fill it up yeah it's usually got fruit in it yeah yeah yeah well not in the gym - The gym, the gym doesn't have fruit water. That's the lobby water. Water has fruit I think Gym water No gym water I just went to Yeah At a gym At a fruit Like citrus Yeah Sometimes cucumber Sometimes Cucumber's nice Cucumber's a nice Cucumber and strawberries In there If you're living Yeah But that's my big tip Is because They try and You know You don't know How the tap water is When you're filling up A water You can just tell You're not supposed To be doing this I don't feel that You see the level Go all the way down With the citrus water He loves it They should give us You should have Free bottled water At a hotel I was trying to run A business But it's Louis gets asked If he He has to show his key Every time He goes Sir are you staying here Because Because he is using Every facility They have At every part Of that hotel Why not Get in there It's like When you kill an animal You use every part That's right Yeah What do you got Joe Take photos Take photos Sometimes people Think of photos To post But you have the photos To remember It jars the memory What this What this Solid guys Yeah Yeah It was great The beginning part Was better It tailed off When we started Looking at pictures Yeah you got to Really think this How many of these Have you done Oh three hundred You've done fifty of these Forty And this is where You're at I thought you were Quitting doing podcasts I just quit my other podcast And then I wanted To do this one Yeah Have more fun with it Have you Yeah It's fun Finding out about stuff It's not the same stuff We just sit around With your three Clean comic friends And talk about nothing Three clean comic friends Alright guys We should take a trip So we can redo the I want another crack at this Let's go somewhere Yeah The three of us The big three I'm down The old gang I'm down I'll be you and I But we can't Is there anything You regret about this trip Like I should have done that And I didn't We couldn't do anything Right We did all We could Yeah Okay I shouldn't have said that thing To that guy in the hospital That's it Yeah Whatever I said That was awkward I'll regret about this trip The Kuwait trip Yeah Yeah I mean Yeah the one that Louis was on I think I regret Because I think we would have It was like I knew this trip Wasn't going to be Too great Because it was Kuwait But I think it was like Come And then once we do it once We'll go back And then I mean Scott died And like It just kind of Ended up going So this trip Was really Because me and Joe Has already been And then so it was like Really like Alright now Louis Is going to get in We're going to do this one We're going to Kuwait Like yeah You're doing shows For him over there You're just around Kuwait It's nothing Too insane Like this is all You getting me in with them And then we'll do another one And then it never happened That makes sense Yeah Was Scott Kennedy The Middle East's Aruba Ray Yeah That's a good way to put it It is a good way to put it It really was He was Yeah I mean One's performing for our troops And one's performing For people in Aruba Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah But he would go over there Yeah I mean he would fly He had so many His status was Through the roof That's insane Like it was He could get anywhere It was You know He would go Two weeks He'd be home for two weeks Wow He'd go Live in Houston I think In that Yeah And go back He went on raids He was telling us about them Yeah Oh yeah Yeah they'd take me He would go perform Yeah he would go perform They loved him And he loved doing it And that was the Yeah He loved doing it Which was great Like he Everybody met He called him a hero And he It was like He took it really serious Like which was nice Like he Cause he To be able to do something like that You're not gonna be able to go that much If you're not really doing it For the right reasons And he was doing it For the right reasons Yeah And so he was Yeah But I mean Yeah It was The rest of peace Tough lifestyle Yeah I did Alright boys Thanks for having us Yeah thank you Well that's the episode everybody I hope you enjoyed it That was It made me a little bit jealous I'll be honest with you Made me a little bit jealous I've always wanted to do one of those How's this without my eyes Good I already remember Do not cuss We went a whole episode Without doing one of those Dirty cusses We're gonna honor the guests By doing What They can get behind I've always wanted to do One of those army You know Air Army Air force Marines Navy Coast guard Hey no offense to the coast guard But you guys You know you're like Last right There's reasons Why the navy You can be a navy fighter pilot Like Like Top Gun That's pretty cool It's better than those like Guys dressed like Daffy Duck Like the regular navy Sure Army Obviously Go to standard But Air force Yeah I mean Fighters Fighter pilots Not tough though Air force Doesn't seem tough I know Yeah they're tougher than me I get that That's not saying anything But Marines Okay Number one Semper Fi That's a marine thing You say Semper Fi What do you say About air force I'm sure there's something But it's not widely known So that's a marine thing So that's why Marines are better than air force Marines are better than army Hoorah I don't know which one that is That could be either army I'll be honest Hoorah is either army Or another marines Semper Fi It's a saying And then coast guard I mean if you were the coast guard in Greece You know with all those islands to protect Okay That's something You're the coast guard in the United States What do you I mean what do you What's your job What's your job Canada's not attacking Greenland's not attacking What are they gonna Drive a walrus up there Right at your border Do not cuss I don't see it Mexico No your whole job is finding people Who went out boating And then ran out of gas And they've been afloat for a few days That's your whole job They're success stories Or you just sink the ship And say we never found them Why did I begin talking about that It's a good question It's a good question It's an excellent question Maybe as I continue this I'll eventually remember it Anyway the point is What an ep Oh I know Because it's doing the armed forces stuff Armed forces That's the thing Armed forces Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard Color Guard Is Color Guard one of the armed forces Well Laurie That's not funny Um I don't know Thank you very much to the guests Nate Bargatze Joe List Louis Katz Three great, great comedians I've worked with all of them Yeah I've done live stand-up shows With every single one of them They've also all been on my storytelling shows Of some kind Louis Katz did This is Not Happening Joe List did This is Not Happening And The End And Nate Bargatze Only did The End And I think that's a good thing It's not only though It's great Um Um There was something I was going to say Yeah I've always wanted to perform for the troops Steve Simone always said it was such a Like a They're such a good Audience But then here in this episode It's really not about the audience It's really about like It's really about um The experience they drive you out there Fly you out there I mean Turkey That's so cool That guy's That's such a cool trip that you went on That picture of them is still hanging in the creek in the cave It was at the one in um Ooh let's do a Ow Ginger tea Let's do this thing Um It was hanging at the one in New York She moved it When she had to run out of town It's in the green room of the creek in the cave The screening of The End At the creek in the cave is the best thing I've ever seen The creek in the cave Was awesome Was so fun Was so fun I'm gonna do that Maybe every time At the creek in the cave Every time I do a release I'm gonna do a screening And a Q&A at the creek in the cave in Austin, Texas I did I ran My Jew hour for a whole week there I did a screening of America's Sweetheart And A Q&A And now The End It was great By the way I'm in May 7th I'll be in uh We're doing a storytelling show The End At the Comedy Store The world famous comedy store May 7th at 10pm Um Steve Simone will be on that As will I believe Big Jay Oakerson And many many more Um Which means I have not booked it yet But it's Netflix is a joke festival There'll be comics around Uh Yeah Well I mean I'm jealous of these guys In this trip I really am It seemed so Fun And three guys together Comedians Hanging Me and DeRosa have been trying to go to We've wanted to go to Japan For quite some time And this makes me think We should do it Getting flown out on someone else's dime Got a little tour guide situation Ah Seems so fun Anyway Um Well that was the episode everybody Next week Duck and Trussell's on the episode Talking about I forget where Um Let's do their dates My For my dates I'm gonna do a Q&A You just heard it Um And you should get the end At rechauffeur.com You can get Right now You can get the Nate Burke ragazzi episode you can get the joe list episode no louis cats you can get the ari shafir episode that's three episodes oh i'm on two so that's four episodes i gotta be honest guys if you're gonna get all four episodes that's 6 12 18 24 bucks for six more bucks you get three more episodes you get the one with shane and soda you get the one with de stefano miss pat and jessa reed and you get the one with tony hinchcliffe big j okerson um anyway the response has been great i really appreciate everybody and then keep tweeting about it and posting about tweet don't tweet get off that um post messages on instagram and stories and just tell your friends and invite friends over to watch it um uh let's do louis cats first because at least to promote he's not on the road right now which is crazy he's a ronin we're on the last freestanding um godless not godless leaderless comedians he's a ronin as david tell calls him uh see a special uh the best you've never heard of on youtube right now has over 1.5 million views that can't be wrong he's a unknown comic sorry louis um it's true and for you to get 1.5 million views on the best community you've ever heard of that means it must be great you know let that sink in a little bit uh nate bergazzi is doing only arenas so all these dates are at arenas sioux falls south dakota this this is this week fargo north dakota uh april 22nd 23rd des moines oh my god this is this week uh april 22nd 23rd des moines oh my god this is this week omaha colorado springs los angeles for two nights in may at the intuit center is that where staple center is providence albany hershey knoxville savannah birmingham greensboro north carolina where i used to be from fort worth at the dickies arena not a cuss hey nate that was not a cuss that's actually what it's called where i saw billy strings with matt egger what a show that was cedar rapids rosemont houston austin at the moody center where i saw roger waters um i can't believe you're playing places so it's so cool it's so cool to see i hate playing that game of like i just went to a wedding of like i saw you when you were this tall you know i it's like it's a silly game but like i remember joe list's wedding he had just done the netflix like like 30s and he goes i'm just starting to hit bonuses like every weekend i'm hitting a bonus i'm getting 500 bucks like for like two different shows extra and he was like it's changing the way i live and that was 2017 so okay nine years later but still arenas that's it's so no curse cool uh austin phoenix san diego san jose calgary edmond and toronto go to nateland.com and don't forget mark in your calendars his new movie his very first movie the breadwinner uh comes out may 29th let me tell you about this it was supposed to be a march 13th release they pushed it to a summer blockbuster movie because they believe in nate that much so do i so should you he's one of the best comics in the country when i say in the country by the way you should know i mean the world i think it's obvious you know i mean it's kind of obvious the americans have joe list is uh may 5th and 7th at the la and los angeles at the improv for the netflix is a joke festival may 17th here we here we here we i can't say it it's a nate episode i can't say the whole chant here we here we here we go london may 21st 22nd the leicester square theater uh bristol dublin belfast and then back to the united states levittown portland maine tacoma washington go to comedianjoelist.com for tickets as i said next week duck and trussell today's episode was produced by the same people who produced my television show the end ymh your mom's house network they do a great job if you want them for any project that you're working on well you can't get them because they're already working for tom segura um it's edited by alan caffey um always with the fun jokes in there alan keep that up i love it and uh that's it until next week istanbul was i don't know if you know this constantinople now it's istanbul but it was constantinople been a long time gone been a long time gone are they playing again all right guys that's it goodbye close your eyes exhale feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today well i'm letting go of the worry that i wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class i got them delivered free from 1-800 contacts oh my gosh they're so fast and breathe oh sorry i almost couldn't breathe when i saw the discount they gave me on my first order oh sorry namaste visit 1-800 contacts.com today to save on your first order 1-800 contacts