KT Behind the Tape: MSG Night 1

What's up Tony Hinchcliffe, Pat O'Neill is God, Kill Tony MSG baby, yeah! You guys all have photo ID on you? Yeah! We're gonna get started here in a few seconds. Guys, just keep your ears open. We're gonna be giving you instructions inside. You're gonna sign a waiver. Make sure every time you're signing something, you are signing legibly. That is the most important thing right now, is that we can read what you write. Cool? Cool. Yeah! Alright, let's do it. Jason! Hi! How are you? Good to see you. Hi! How are you? How are you? Good to see you. How are you? Good to see you. How are you? Good to see you. Good to see you. Good to see you. How are you? Good to see you. Good to see you. How are you? Good to see you. Good to see you. Good to see you. Good to see you. Hi! Hi! Hi! How are you? Good to see you. Good to see you. Good to see you. Good to see you. How are you? Good to see you. Good to see you. Tonight's night one. Got to elevate into night two. Schultz is coming back. Nope. Nope. Schultz is stuck filming a movie. Tim Dillon's on a plane to London. Cast of Grown Ups 4 is shooting makeup scenes. Shane Gillis is Tire's three release parties tonight on the island of Danny McBride in South Carolina. Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, two promised future guests are both shooting Grown Ups 4. Seinfeld's in Minnesota. Seinfeld's in Minnesota even though he was the golden goose for this one. Mark Norman's in San Francisco. You just name any great New Yorker. Either they're on tomorrow or they're busy. And Joey didn't call us today. No, Joey Diaz is taking the bag of money in Atlantic City, New Jersey this weekend. The big bag of casino money. Are you sitting here on privacy? Uh, yeah. Let's see you, Doug. What's up, dude? Dance back. Dance back together. Hey, man. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I shouldn't be leading the way. I don't know where I'm going. Thanks, Shane. Yeah, yeah. Appreciate it. Yes, sir. Thanks, man. Yeah, that should be. Which mixer do you use? It's the same one as part of the 16th. How long have you been on the mic though? I don't know. Chill out. Chill out. Chill out. Chill out. Chill out. Chill out. Chill out. Chill out. Adam, where you at? Right here, baby. Here you go. Oh, awesome. Uh, is it on? Yeah. Check, check, check. Yep. Check, check. Okay. So, Adam, you're going to hear yourself through those monitors. Oh, awesome. That might be enough, right? Yeah. Maybe I don't need the ears. Yeah. So, I think you guys may be playing something when Tony intros me and then, right, probably something just to get it going and then when he goes, Randolph Davies, boom, boom, da, da, right? Okay. I mean, yeah, you tell me. It's, yeah. Yeah. All right. Before we get into it, I got to tell you guys about something. We just launched Kill Tony Plus. Here's the deal. You sign up. You get every new episode ad-free and uncensored. We're giving members a brand new angle of the show that's never been seen before. This is as close as you can get to sitting in the audience. You also get bonus content, Q&A episodes, behind-the-scenes stuff, extra bits you're not getting anywhere else, and there's perks on the merch store, too. It's $5. It's $5 a month. That's less than a cost of a beer or a pack of cigarettes or a lot of fun things. Links in the description or go straight to killtony.supercast.com to join. This is a very, very exciting opportunity for all you diehard fans and super haters. Go to killtonysupercast.com. All right. Back to the show. Pat O'Neill. So here's a question. Here we are, MSG, 7 p.m. Start time, but that's the band playing for a while, an AI video, the whole shebang. Yep. They can start at 6.30. Really? Yes. When did this revolution start? So we have a four-hour show. I think we did the very first time we were here. Uh-huh. So they can start at 6.30, but we have to be done by 10 still. So that is 7. 7, 8, 9, 3, 10. Three and a half hours with them playing for a half hour, plus AI video, so slightly less than three hours. That's good. You're 56 timing in the beer. Yeah. It's going to be longer than that. Right. I'm just telling you. Right. That'll really be an hour 15. Can you guys look up here real fast? Pat O'Neill. There he is. Wow. I just literally said he closes. He's the beating heart of the modern era of Kill Tony. We heard. I'll get out of here. No, you're great. I just didn't know. I told him I should say hi. All right. Perfect. I was going to say, because like. You're doing it, dude. You know, I don't talk that way about myself, but tonight I would feel bad if somebody had to follow up. Ooh. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Look at that. Did you guys get that? The doc filmers get that? All right. Damn. I put my fucking like leg into the deepest goddamn pothole on the way over here, so. I love it. I'm going to go do some leg stretches. Fucking like hyper stand my knee like fucking on a three minute walk here. Dumbest guy in the world. I would feel bad for whoever has to go up that for me. Thank you. God, I wish everybody, I wish everyone would come in with that fucking. I wish everybody would come in with that fucking energy. Scott. You're going to let her take one foot. He really is. I have already Maddie going, I don't know if I feel too good. I don't know if I'll do it tomorrow. It's Steve. Shut the fuck up. You're doing it tonight. Okay. If you want, I do it tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Meanwhile, you have Pat O'Neill being like, I fucking better be last because nobody's going to be able to. I want that to be the loudest. Right. Hit the bit. Not a. No, I'm not seeing cutting on the monitor. No. Hit the beats off. Hit the beats off. So that's our hottest level. We're going to leave it there. We can bring that back in the system. Now you don't have to touch that. You don't have to touch that. Yeah. I'm not going to do it. So that's as hot as it's going to get. Huh? I don't know. The dimmer just got plugged in. Now it's making that noise. Number eight is what? Number eight is the girl on the shoulders. The girl on the shoulders is eight. Okay, stand by. Yep, great. Number nine is hot tub. You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good. You're fine, right? Okay. For what? I mean, I could scrap this if it was too much. Okay. Hey, can you go back to the board? He's not working. Someone just wrapped it. When have you been here? Oh, a couple of hours. I'm not sure. All right. I mean, I can scrap all this. I just want to, like, not just do the songs and have a little bit of what we did. So it takes literally. I mean, he just got it, so he's just trying to make sure he has the pictures in order so we can get the most out of it. But I can scrap it if it's stressing you out. Hey, Adam. I don't want to stress you out. But if we just do songs, it's kind of boring. It's like, we should paint the whole picture. Then give me 20 seconds. He's running through it one more time, not even a minute. And then we're jamming. You're up next. I love you. Okay, stand by. Okay, here we go. Go to one, please The very beginning So so So So I was thinking, you know, I've done some shit do that And and then you guys do you're like, you know, we should be able to fucking play so at the end the jam and then we'll do that done and it how we ended it at the show and then And then I'll do the quick sponsor shoutouts So I guess you guys can play something over this but or maybe not I guess we didn't play it Yeah, but nothing sponsor shouts and then I'm gonna go right into this next song is about people that are ungrateful Do you're welcome and then at the end of your welcome, I think we had a riff for you guys last time What it was that, you know flu solo piano solo, whatever and that's where I'm gonna do like, you know My parents, you know, and I'm gonna tell the stories under you guys playing and then that'll just be it And if we wanted to at the end of that pop, we could do one more and somehow you didn't say Like at the end of that and then we're done and then an interview maybe with Tony, right? Fuck. Yeah, that's great All right, cool. I think those are the two like songs that they're a big energy and the intro one is like So good to come out to yeah. Oh, yeah Just like last year I think severe thunderstorm about the hit Tornado Yeah, yeah, we got that at the White House. It's all bullshit I don't just separate it'll just separate and yeah, we know we're on the right side of history here. We're on the winning team Yeah, great stuff Scary outside of the money we have the comedy record here. We definitely have it We have to have it I Bet you guys play it so many times. He hasn't this whole thing is like the way history is written is funny I think Dane Cook Dyson maybe didn't twice. That's a good name Yeah, cuz I think he actually Would you get this how many times is Dane Cook played Madison Square Garden a fader? This new question for you. This would you want to look at the man? Sebastian's done it in time. He holds the record Yeah, but you have to realize that's ten hours correct ten hours we're saving the video if we have a three hour long Show we've done five After the singers we're gonna go try for the heart after this heartbeat wide shot because we have one two three And is it three hours per show? That's a great all day Pulsing red. That's what I talked to. We're gonna have the most comedy hours and all over long Madison Square Garden history after this week All these videos are going to resume There's another machine called That's right. That's a lumen is One basically is playing that and then so he's basically How you doing nice to see you to see you so much for having oh, yeah I know you're super busy, but Sarah said just to pop up and now let you know that I'm here Absolutely make yourself at home. Thank you, but man you have like a short You have like a short short like two to three minutes set you might want to do. Oh, I would love to absolutely Yeah, yes. Yeah three jokes. Perfect. Yeah, I would love to that's very kind. All right. Thank you so much. I'm rolling I'm gonna add one more but so Emma we're adding one more person. So stop printing I'm gonna give it to you in a second after after bucket pool Five after bucket pool five Mike Fennel. Yeah, Mike Fennel, yeah, F Fennel. Yeah, F I n o I a F I n o I a Yeah, I really appreciate it. I'm just like a little spontaneous crazy world. I love it. I love it. I love getting real New Yorker How's New York treating you so far Yeah That's good. You got a nice humid grow. Yeah Superstars hello. Hi. Thanks for having me Of course Buddy, how you feeling good? I'm good. Good. I'll save for tomorrow. You said yeah, you're pretty packed up Just do I mean you only have one set right? I have one set planned I if you need me to go up I could do another one, but I think it would be better to not Okay, the life of fear that you live boggles my mind. Oh, it's just you're loved by the people Oh, you're loved by the people. What do you have to fucking lose? Just want to do well. I don't know. Okay Yeah, if you want to take tonight off Yeah, you know, but is there an after my spunt ain't not tonight big one. Okay, but if I need just spontaneously through the show Yeah, all uh, I'll call for you. I'll bring my stuff just in case Yeah Yes No, what's going on? Here's the neurotic hold on let me have a second with my neurotic Is this Good yeah , you guys want to eat we're gonna go Christina how is La Jolla? Oh amazing shows sold out? Do you five? I'm trying. How's the food look? I mean the way I would look at that. What do you think? Hey, that's why you got a banana? - Yeah. - Oh, okay. - Sarah Sloan set 'em up. They're like the best pizza in New York. - Great. Then I'm gonna stop eating this shit and come to my green room then. - Yeah, that's what I thought. - Thank you for the heads up. I'll see you in three minutes. Bye-bye. That's great. Best pizza in the city just arrived in my green room. Let's go. Take one bite of this cheesecake and run for the hills. - I just ate so much chicken and steak, I don't think I could do this. - How are you feeling right before the show? - I'm feeling incredible. I'm geeking out about all the posters 'cause I've been to so many concerts in this place. So it's always neat to be able to do stand-up in a room that you've lost yourself at a concert. So it's really awesome. - Oh, that's-- - Really excited about it, yeah. - And how, when did you know you were going on tonight? - A half hour ago. - Okay. - Maybe. And I was in traffic, and I did a lot of illegal shit to get here on time. So, to the drivers on 95 South, I apologize. I deserved all those middle fingers that I got, so. - Thanks. - Cool. Let's hopefully get the song in, yeah? Okay, great. So then I'll do a quick two song piece, and then it's gonna come to a close. So, this song is about the people who were on the radio in the '90s, yeah? So-- - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - And they're talking about people who were on the radio. - That's me. - Okay. - Go. - Okay. ♪ You're welcome ♪ ♪ For holding the door ♪ ♪ You're welcome ♪ ♪ For getting before ♪ ♪ The rider ♪ ♪ Hit the bull rider's door ♪ ♪ And all you really had to do ♪ ♪ It's as easy as one, two, two ♪ ♪ And all you really had to do was say ♪ ♪ Oh, thank you ♪ ♪ Oh, thank you ♪ ♪ Come on ♪ ♪ But somehow you didn't say shit ♪ ♪ And now I'm gonna make a wish ♪ - I've done it all. You know, look, I've known for a humble beginning. My parents were, well, they're both dead. Died of a big accident. It is, man. I know some of you are thinking, man, when they turn on the T-Gun, is it some mouthfuls or a rap? No, they were a- - Hello, my friends. - Hey. - How are you, buddy? - Good. - Huh? You doing good? - How you doing? - I'm doing good. - Got that noggin on your face. - Really good. - Really? - Yeah. - Got to stay away from, like, why you would cough all the time. I'll give you that. You're gonna get it. - Yeah, you don't even know that. - Yeah. - Yeah, I've done anything. You know, I've been inside, I've been outside, folks. We've been doing everything. I've had it all, man. It's been quite a time. But really, the only thing I ask for really, is really, I'm telling you, when you don't get something, it doesn't get to you at all. I'm not gonna forget that. My parents were shot in the face by a guy who didn't move through. But you know, look, I've done it all. I've done it all. I'll give you that picture. I'll go again. So that picture will come in here. I'm not going to say again. You're going to have to do it for the first time around. Yeah, you might think my parents were shot in the face, or my parents were killed from being thrown on the tee. No, they were actually killed by a man shot in the head by a guy who didn't move through. Yeah, you might think my parents were killed by a guy who didn't move through. Yeah, you might think my parents were shot in the head by a guy who didn't move through. Baila mi gente, qué sabroso Lo que les traigo, un rico son Lo que les traigo, un rico son Baila mi gente, qué sabroso Baila mi gente, qué sabroso Lo que les traigo, un rico son Lo que les traigo, un rico son Lo que les traigo, un rico son ¡Suscríbete! people because my sister has a Down Syndrome son and if you had a Down Syndrome son, you wouldn't find it funny either. So I've thought about this for like a week now. I'd love a Down Syndrome son. Are you kidding me? It's like having a puppy forever. What do parents say is the toughest part about having kids? Oh, they grow up so fast. Not my boy. He's 45 years old. I tuck him into bed every night. We have tooth fairy. We play hide and seek. I mean, you're watching one of the greatest comedians in the world fucking goof around. Something he wasn't even going to do. I don't know. Maybe I should have done the Down and then the puppy forever last. I don't know. Anyway. So great. You're doing everything right, Ari. I mean, you're just a freak of fucking nature. Thank you so much. Everybody loves you. You had the biggest fucking laughs of the night. The biggest pop of the night. Everything is happening for you. You are so beloved by the fucking comedy universe and your peers for great reason. And we fucking love you. Anything else you want to say to these people? I just love New York City. Thank you for welcoming me in your city. You are the very best Ari Maddy. Truly. Truly unbelievable. Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it. Thank you. That was so great. So good to see you. I'll think about it. I also have a suspended license. I'm sick of these fucking judges. I need one more time. Mr. Grasso, who is being sued. I'm going to fucking go to jail. It's the worst thing I've seen in my life. I forgot to set the course. So I brought it up. It sounded great from in here. Yeah, it was fun. Great crowd. They were super. You're good to keep around. Got your body with respect. Wait. Come on. Kill it. Come on, man. Watch your mouth. You want to do it a little bit? No. Watch your mouth. Don't get smart. It's raining. That's maybe one. That's my mind. Maybe it's raining. It's raining. No, I wish you went in front of me for one reason. But if you had said so much more, I'd probably have dropped you through low. My hand was shaking a little in the it's so it makes you feel so nervous when you see it all like a little shake. You know, I was like a nervous. Yeah, I was. I hate you. Yeah, I hate my mouth goes dry, dry as fuck. I'm literally like, where's the moisture? I drink the water of the thing. I drink the guys. What is it? You're trans now. That's how it gets your trans. Stop spitting everywhere. This guy's just spitting. Hey, Emily. How are you feeling right now? It's very it's one of the most legendary arenas in the world. It's our third year here. It feels like home already. And New Yorkers are cool people. The crowd. They get jokes. They love to laugh. So that's awesome. And also seeing Jim Norton, Adam Ray, Tony, Red Band on the table. They're legends. So it's awesome. How does it feel to get the loudest reaction, the best reaction tonight? I don't know. There's more show to go. So relax. But it's very warm. They love me and I love them, too. So yeah. How nervous were you to do that extra joke? Yeah, I kind of forgot it in the moment, you know, because it's such a new idea that I had. So. And then the interview came and there was like a pause and I thought I've never done that where I bring up a joke. I usually don't like to break the fourth wall, like the joke and the interview. I like to keep separate. But I don't know. Somehow in the moment, I was like, that's right. Although the ending of that extra joke was kind of weaker than I would have if I would have more time to prepare. But that's Kill Tony. We're working it out. So, yes, dude. So maybe one day somebody sees the full joke. They're like, oh, I saw the stream when he did when he tried it. Well, dude, you fucking killed it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a good day. What's up, brother? Good to see you, brother. Thank you so much. Thank you. Good. Which, I mean, it speaks for itself. It's a very funny thing. Did Jack Shaw do something similar to this? Or was that you? Am I misremembering? No, this is me. This is fucking me. Is this a flute? Is this a joint thing? Menorah. Nice. Are you Jewish? Sure. Because of that tragedy. Yes. I guess. And it's sold unironically by a Jewish company. That's crazy. Yes. You're wanting to hide it? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to hide it. I don't want to have to come out with, like, a fanny pack or anything. If you have any idea of, like, I don't know if Heidi comes out before or anything, if we could just, like, throw something over and put it on a stool. If you have any ideas. I know it's like a nuisance right now, but if we have time, especially if the rain delays it a few minutes. I'm wondering if we just put it under the table. Yeah. Or, like, maybe behind the drums. Or maybe, like, if it's there the whole time. Yeah. Like, if the band has anywhere they don't mind. Well, they're on stage already. Let me see if I have anything to cover it. Yeah. And then, like, if Heidi wouldn't mind bringing it out, like, that way it's not in anybody's way. These are not sugar-free. They're flavored, but that's all I can tell you. Oh, sick. Fuck yeah. As long as it actually has the juice in it, I don't care what it tastes like. I mean, we could, like, we could put it in, like, one of these bags. And then, like, put it behind the band. Yeah. Even that's great, because, like, that's, like, something that I can, like, put it in all night that's, like, lightweight and still is, like, not clear. But yeah, it's, like, the top parts. Dude, when I bought this, you see this? This? Oh, I'll pour the honey on it. You've got to be careful with it. You've got to hold it at the bottom. That's a joke-made thing, though, right? No, it's sold unironically by a Jewish company. Oh, wait, it's not in the full, on the-- It's sold-- it's part of the joke. It's sold unironically by a Jewish company for Jewish children. It's a company in Israel. What the fuck? Dude, it's my second closer. The first time I was ever on Kill Tony, I, like, asked you guys to let me bring it, because he always asks, "Let me have any pack." Yeah. And I had it in there, and then he never asked, and it just looked like a fucking retard who, like, got on Netflix and blew the lifetime of an opportunity. That's why you've seen it. I've definitely-- I've had it at Secret Show and stuff, and I've shown it to you, probably. Jack Shaw's done props before, but this is-- you're just thinking of props in June. Bullet Jew, prop, yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time I think of him, I think of the trains, so. Okay. I will find Heidi, and then-- Do you know where her green room is? I think I walked past it. It's, like, near, like, Legends 1, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to bother too much, but perfect. Even this bag will help a lot. And then just you knowing what's going on-- Yeah. --while you're backstage and shit. Her ass and Tukoks staring back at him. Can we see the tattoo? I would love to. I would love to. Please. This is not for Netflix. Technically, we could do it. Why didn't you lift my dress up? Oh, you have to lift-- I'm not. Oh, I apologize. I didn't realize. Wow. On Netflix-- Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I'm honored to be here on this stage. I've had so many incredible nights in this room. Neil Young, the dead, old hippies. Those are my people. I like going to concerts where I'm offered both acid and antacid in the parking lot. I'm like, I'm good with that LSD, but talk to me about those tongues. I had a margarita at lunch. It's repeating. I was in 104 two weeks ago for Phish. Two kids about 18 years old before the show started split a bag of fish. I was like, I'm going to go to the bar to split a bag of mushrooms right in front of me. Lost their shit. It was the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life. These kids ate drugs, wigged out, and I just sat behind them eating popcorn, watching them unravel. One kid was having a hard time. He was grinding his teeth. His eyes were like an owl. He was fucking breathing through his nose. He's like-- Turned to his buddy. He goes, dude, I feel like people know we're fucked up, dude. Does everybody know we're fucked up? And I hung behind him, and I let him flip out when the lights went down. I poked my head in between them. I'm like, yo, everybody knows. Your heartbeat is so loud, dude. We all thought you were dying, so we called your mom. She's on her way here. Enjoy the show, stupid. I'm friends with my dad now, and I'm glad we waited. We weren't ready. I'm a bit of a dented can. My parents kind of blew it. They had me when they were 19 and then split when I was two months old, came back together when I was eight, remarried, and had three more kids. I was the best man in my parents' second wedding. You know how much pressure that is for an eight-year-old to throw a bachelor party on a dollar-a-week allowance? I'm a little bit of a dented can. My real dad just came back at us as a lousy stepdad. I was like, "This guy again?" You know how much pressure that is for an eight-year-old to throw a bachelor party on a dollar-a-week allowance? as a lousy stepdad. I was like, this guy again? I thought we returned him. Never had a sex talk with my dad. He never had one with me. My dad's version of a sex talk was anytime anything hot came on TV, he'd grab the remote and change it. And he'd go, this is not for you. And I'm like, no, it's for me. It's not for us. This is kind of fucking, I could see your boner through your champion sweatpants, you dummy. Thank you guys so much. I'm Mike Fennoya. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Mike Fennoya. So great. Fucking getting to get another New Yorker up here to do MSD. Okay. How was it up there? Nuts. I mean, the garden. I heard, I just tried to pay attention to like any sound I could hear that was positive. I mean, it's so big and it's so cavernous and it's like, I'm trying to look at like the scoreboard, but also like just I'm telling my jokes and thinking about the time and oh God, it's yeah. But I, but again, it's just another set. You gotta like, you know, you hear your name called and you're like, it's just another set. That's it. But I'm thrilled for the opportunity and I just hope people liked it. No, people, people loved it. Yeah. Could you tell after your set that people loved it or were you still unsure? No, I still get this. Like you come off stage and it's like you got punched in the stomach a little bit. Like, and it's just, I guess when I lose that, I'll probably stop doing it or whatever. But like it felt, it was just exciting. But also like I'm just really trying to like be in the moment and just be like happy, which isn't the easiest thing to do. So it was great. I mean, everybody was so nice when I got off stage. You freaking crushed it, man. How, how much does MSG mean to you throughout your life? Greatest place in the world. I mean, I've lost my mind here millions of times at concerts and sporting events and stuff like that. Celebrated New Year's Eve with Fish here countless times. And I mean, just to be on the stage where like Jerry Garcia stood and the Beastie Boys. I mean, it's just, it's an absolute, it's an absolute thrill. And you know, New York's my city and I love it here. And yeah, I'm still kind of a little bit like on cloud nine right now, so. Do your family or friends know that you just performed at Madison Square Garden? My wife, I called her and told her I was going up. My brother in comedy, my older brother, Big Jay Oakerson, I spoke with him right before. And yeah, that's it. My sister, I think. I don't like talking to, I just, I want to do my job and then talk about it after. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you build things up and then you're just setting yourself up for failure, so. I thought more about like go out and do your job. Go out and do the best I can and pay tribute to like the room. And I'm grateful to Tony for the opportunity. And all I want to do is just be as funny as I possibly can be and make as many people laugh as possible. That's it, so. I know how big of an opportunity it is, so. Well, you fucking crushed it, bro. Thank you, man. It's a great work, dude. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for the interview. Thank you, dude. Thank you. Is this Kill Tony Plus? Yo, fuck you guys. Fuck you in the butt. I love you. Who are you raising in this room? Oh! You have to be able to do that, so. Well, who do you want to imagine in this room, you know, if you took us? Yeah, thank you. I do a lot of your punchlines very well, too. You do a lot of my punchlines very well. I mean, you never see them I mean, it's pretty great. Please do. Cool. I'm the last to go, right? Yes, you need to do the best. We love you. There she goes. I love you, Kill Tony. I love you. We love you, Kill Tony. Yes. And now, Dr. Adam Fowler, from the United States. Come on back. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of the greatest regulars in the show's history. A man who stands for his roasting skills. Fresh out of the rain. Some chills for people who are roasting at Penny Park. Ladies and gentlemen, it's all the way to the turn of the millennial league. Dave Lugin is here. Jim, you know Mike, right? I know Mike very well, and I knew you would kill. Really funny man. You're a great writer, great comic. Thank you, Jim. I'm happy. They're not an easy crowd. You're fucking great. Thank you, brother. Just awesome. Adam Ray? Yeah, I'm jealous you had a dad. You want his number? I'm good. I'm good. Kill Tony the goat! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end of the David-Tony movie here at Matheson Square Garden. You're watching number 500 for the year. We did it. We did everything we did. We never won D&T. That's all I have to say. Dave is opening a basketball in the home of the Knicks. Well, I think a lot of us, but Dave is in the NBA. We've never been active. Wow! Hey, you! Hey, you didn't bring the rain to this emotion. Hey, stop telling me to play for the park so much, Tom and I. Rude. You're the third lady in the world. All right. I'm going to take the whole thing tonight. I'm going to make the best cities in the fucking world. I'm going to bring these cities to a fucking. I don't know, Sasha Candy, every other city in the country. I'm going to bring the asses in and I'm just going to throw them in the garbage can. It is his Madison Square Garden debut. And it brings me so much joy to bring up one of my current favorite comedians. As I present to you, The Real Deal at O'Neil. I'm underweight too. Now, obviously, anti-Semitism's been on the rise again, especially among younger generations, and I think I know why. Toy train menorahs. I'm not making this up. These are available online. I literally went ahead and purchased this one. It says in big letters on the front, all aboard the Hanukkah train. You know how many poor souls already fell for this catchy tagline in the 40s? Now it's being profited off of once again. Unbelievable. And I know what you're thinking. These are manufactured by Hamas or Marjorie Taylor Greene. Nope, this is true. You can look it up. They are sold by a company named Zion Judaism. God, is there enough that these people won't do to make a fucking dollar? Selling out their own ancestors. When I Googled menorah train, I was looking for some black Jewish born. But I live in Texas, so I got this horse shit. Okay, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for the great Pat O'Neill. You did it again. Pat, you are the fucking man. Guys, real quick, tell Pat how much you love him, because we have one minute. Really funny, brutal jokes in a good way. Just fucking great, man. Really funny. You're in the right city for that material, young man. Great job. Very funny, really witty, really quick. And you can tell that you don't mean any of that shit, so that's good. Ran off Davies. Pat, Pat, this is my first time seeing you live. You have the same body as my 12-year-old daughter, but you are one of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever seen. So great job ripping it and taking advantage of the opportunity. Thank you, brother. Pat, we love you. We've got to put a ribbon on this show. We have 25 seconds left. We love you. Pat O'Neill. How about one more time for the great Adam Ray? The Adam Ray Show every Friday on Netflix. One more time. How loud can this place get for the great Jim Norton, huh? And one more time for Kill Tony's reigning defending guest of the year, Rob Schneider, everybody. We love you, Rob. Love you, Rob. Thank you. Good night. Good night. Your Lucy Breaker joke of the night goes to Ari Matty for the Down Syndrome joke. Thank you to Dedrick Flynn, Aaron Belisle, Mike Minoy, Ari Matty, Rob Schneider, Febby, David Lucas, Pat O'Neill, Christina Mariani. We love you. Thank you. Good night, everybody. Good night. Good night. Take that. Shit, save the photos. Ten o'clock. Sweet. That's a big-ass audience. Holy shit. Wow. Mission to the limit. See if everything's okay. Right, guys? Everybody good? Hey, Jimmy. Fucking hell, man. What a venue. What a venue. Nice to see you. Nice to see you. How you been? You good? Thanks for having me, man. Oh, you're the legend there. The legend there, man. Fantastic. You have to make sure that you have enough time to get there. Thanks. All the guys are going to come. We'll get them all. Yeah, let's promote the fuck out of the movie. For sure. Adam's psyched. You're the fucking man. Thank you so much for making it. It was a pleasure, man. I'll call the guys and see if they want to come out. Oh, that was so cool. Thanks to you, man. These are my friends. It's Eric and Abby. Hey, Tony. Yeah, nice to meet you. Thanks for making it. Yeah, great job. I know. I know we love you all. I love you, too. Good job. That's double NBA stuff. Oh, yeah. We love you. We love you, too. We love you, too. We love you, too. Oh, yeah. It's such a different thing. It feels like I'm like, in a weird way with you, and this sounds crazy, it's probably an insult to both you and Shane, but it feels like we're like, in that final hunger, like right before he did that creak, where it's like, you're about to make whatever you make of all this, it's going to get 70 fucking or 80 million views, it's going to be crazy. It's amazing. It's so, so diabolical. Are you still writing? That's what's great. And I guarantee you, it inspires people like all of us. Everyone who loves this shit, it inspires everybody to be like, God, I want another fucking two-minute job. Wow. So great. Yeah, you took a show that people weren't familiar with. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry to interrupt. Great show. You did a great show. Thank you so much. Thank you very much for coming. I appreciate you. Thank you very much. You were like, I don't know what you're doing. I'm not, like, I don't like that this is that, but the way to get to watch you do it tonight, if you want that in the morning, this is so great. Thank you, dude. I had that in my fanny pack when you pulled me on Netflix, because I always saw how you, like, asked people in it. And then, like, I sent them pictures of myself on Netflix when I, like, was like, fuck this shit. So, like, do something. So much better, and, like, and I'm just wearing this huge fanny pack way down, but that wouldn't train me. Yeah, and if he falls in my face, I'm like, okay, so we'll see. I'm going to see what he does. You want a pie with pie? Nice. Fuck yeah. Here you go, Randy. Love it. Can I tell him how old I am? Love you. Thank you. Go to my fucking room. No, go to my room and get some drinks. Oh, good. All right, Nathan, you're perfect. I think I'm going to snipe her tomorrow. I think this is not the venue to a show about her. Oh, it's nice. Oh, you're not. We ain't going out. I'm not drinking. That's my brother, Donnie. Yeah. Yeah. My old brother. Very good. My older brother. I'm 12 years old. Correct. Correct. Yeah. This is incorrect. I knew you were going to say that. I'm like, why am I not wearing a suit? I like that about that. I like that you switched it up with high reverence. Yeah, I don't get scared. I used to do a joke about that thing before I had it. I was like, why the fuck is anybody believing me? And why don't you have it? I'm like, I'm making it up. Like, everything else is a made up story. But you got it. That's good. If I cost $50 a book right away. Yeah, go to Kim Connors. I'm going to go to Kim Connors. I'm going to go to Kim Connors.