KT: Behind the Tape (Ep: 792 Jimmy Carr + Luis J. Gomez + Steve Rannazzisi)

How old are you now, Joe? 190. 190. Six. Coffee, six. You know how hard that is for Pitman to get up? How dare I? That is a good question. Why isn't it done before? Well, we didn't know we were going to have three guests tonight. So we're going to go back and we're running a backup line. You got a good excuse this week. I like your costume, man. Thank you so much. I made it all myself. Really? Yeah, with my own two fingers. Or ten. Holy shit. Have you known Sir Winston Pickles? No. Is it a doggie? Man, it's actually pretty cool. This is my high school. Our high school. It does? It's buried in scandal. Don't let him get away. Buried in scandal. Yeah, I like it. This is massive. Stop with the Notre Dame mascot. Well, I mean, you don't get to pick them. What was your, the Hogs? Ben Williams here. You know, your local drug dealer. Telling y'all to tune in every fucking week. Shane Bessegan, he local drug user. Hell yeah. I'm both. Dude, I've done DMT in my life. I've done mushrooms. I've done acid. I've done all kinds of drugs. And being on this Kill Tony stage. Was the most surreal, out of body, talking head moment I've ever had in my entire life. It was like, I got off stage, my hands were trembling, but I did good. I'm waiting to see it along with the rest of the world tonight. I want to see my performance, see how I did. I think I did pretty good. I think I handled it, handled it pretty good. I quit. I've, I was done in 45 seconds and I've done it. I've done that skit a hundred times probably, and made it a little bit over a minute. And that 45 seconds was up. I was like, Oh shit. Crickets. So anyway, I'm, I'm excited to see it. I moved here a year and a half ago. I literally sold everything I had. Um, so I could move here and do comedy. Cause this has been my passion since I was a young girl, but I made a lot of bad choices as a woman growing up. So I had to wait till all the kids were grown and gone before I could really do it. And, um, I love it here. This is my family. I have no one here. I'm all alone. I have a handful of close friends. And then I have all these guys and they're all like my kids. And they all call me Nana and I love them all. And I try to encourage everyone. Um, I try to help out when I can, and I try to be funny all the fucking time. Anthony, how we doing buddy? I'm lucky to be alive. Oh, geez. What happened this time? Nicole, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why are you always being nuts? Why can't you just sit and be chill? You have to charge your phone. Well, it's working. You come all the way to the mothership green room to charge your phone? Yeah. Jesus. You're a grown ass woman. Yeah. Go, go ahead. Go ahead. Get over there, Nicole. Yeah. I know you're my friend. I know. All right. Here, let me move shit around so that you could. There you go. Charge your phone. These golden ticket winners are nuts. Yeah. It's a long story. She's got a whole suit. Case got a whole fucking briefcase with you. Hello there, as you can probably guess, I'm Tony Hinchcliffe. You want to watch kill Tony like you're actually sitting in the room with us. That's kill Tony. Plus every week you get our cut of the episode, uncensored, no ads and different camera angles you haven't seen before. Basically, it's the closest you can get to being at the show without actually being there and you get it first every Monday at six. PM central time kill Tony plus members will get early access to the episode before everyone else in the world. And every month there's an exclusive bonus content piece that includes Q and a episodes where I answer your questions right out of the bucket. You also get pre-show AI intro videos from our live show stuff you can't see anywhere else. Plus behind the scene photos from the live shows, merch perks and more. It's kill Tony plus and it's the next best thing to actually being at a kill Tony show. So for those of you that are watching this, I'm Tony Hinchcliffe. And for those of you that are ready to step to the next level as a kill Tony fan, go to kill Tony dot supercast dot com. That's kill Tony dot supercast dot com. Oh, and if you're really sick in the head, check out the absurd roast here. Send me your photo and some facts about you and I'll roast you myself right on kill Tony. Plus want me to roast your buddy instead? Send me their info. No refunds on emotional damage. Check it all out at kill Tony dot supercast dot com right now. I can't really say. I can't let them all. Got to be true to myself. And it feels like I am. Yeah, that was perfect. That was perfect. And then you can go back. That was the halftime show, everyone. One more time for the Jabberwockies. He's going to get off stage. And then you'll bring the regular lights. Who's ready for the crew show? Boom. That requires a lighting change. I don't want you up there. If you start plugging shit, Nicole, I'm going to kick you off the stage. If you start going, go to my website, buy my art. I'm be selling this, selling that. Go to this. I have new podcasts. You're always trying to plug shit up there. This is a big deal. This show is bigger than ever now. I need you to fucking do your comedy. OK, and make them laugh. Go up with energy. Make them laugh. Make them laugh. Don't rush into a song. Be comedy. I'm going to interview you. Have funny answers. OK, good. There you go. That's what I like. I like that smile. So what was it like backstage before you were about to get up? Dude, it's literally, you get, they call your name, you walk out of the building, walk into the next building, and the stairs are right there to the stage. And so I go up there, and there's an ex on the ground. The guy says, stand right here. And then you're going to move over to this ex. And Heidi's standing right there. And that woman is so much prettier in person than she is on camera. And she's like, congratulations. She's like, do you need a water or anything? I was like, I was speechless. But I was like, no, no, I'm good. I'm good. Just let me do this. Woo. Woo-sah. Look at Red Band itching for 7.30. He can't wait to get that vodka in his veins. He's just playing it cool. Shaking his Gatorade left and right. Just jonesing. Oh, just jonesing. This fucking guy is jonesing. He needs that. Just picture that taste of sugar-free Red Bull and vodka. Oh, it makes you, gives you so much courage. I need, I'm late on my tea. Oh, boy. Like, almost a leave. Would you like me to make you a drink? No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't ever do that. I have to do it. Never do that. I have to do it. I'm glad you're learning. I'm glad you said that. You never do that. No, no, no. Don't ever do it. No, we never encourage you. Abandoned drink. I have to do it by a stint. Do you think that makes him better at his job? Oh, no, it does not. No, it doesn't. That might be how it works at the Yellow Rose, but not here. I like a little dancing Red Band. Uh-huh. Well, you should see me Saturday. Just keep it on. Keep it on. Stop doing any, just do nothing. Nicole, do nothing. Why? Because your job is to do, be on stage. You need that to be able to get through here. This is a high-security situation, and you look like you do not belong. I know you belong, but you look crazy. That's why you invited me. I know. When I first show up at comedy stores, I'm like, what are you doing? What is Q-Toni about? I was like, you don't know my show? Every comic knew my show. What's your show? Bring me to your show. I love it, Nicole. That's why I got on it, man. How long is this song you're planning on doing? Ballpark. Huh? Be honest. How long is the song you're planning on doing? Maybe three minutes? It can't be three minutes. We got to make it two minutes. Yep. Okay. And it's not a copyrighted cover of anything. It's an original, right? Oh, I'm doing the, uh, the old, uh, the singing, re-singing the song. No? What? Re-singing the song. Re-singing a song? Yeah. You're covering a song. Yeah, it's a cover. Yeah, we can't do cover. because the copyright on YouTube will strike us. So you have to do something original. Acapella. Like Happy New Year. Remember that? But this is not Happy New Year. I know. Happy Halloween. Show goes pretty long. Expect to be here two and a half hours, three hours. I'll let you know when the show starts and I'll let you know when the show ends. I don't know when it ends. It's up to Tony. So Just stay put. Don't leave early. A lot of people miss their shot towards the end of the show because they just leave early and think there's no way and they're the ones that end up getting called. So, everybody feel good? Alright, let's get this started. ID's out. Oh yeah, no recording of any kind. There he is, one year anniversary, Dedrick Flynn. Happy one year! There he is. Put your bag under this table. Like two days later and it went. Is that the KT? I think I'm going to get one too. Oh wow, that's amazing. Oh, I love that. I love it. Let me see. I just want to get a little knife. Anthony, when are you going to get your Keltoni tattoo? Oh my gosh, you got a real Keltoni tattoo. Yeah, he actually got it. Aww, happy anniversary! That was a big day. That was a big, big day. Yeah, it was. I was here. You're a clown? Yes, sir. Like professionally or for Halloween? Professionally. Hell yeah. Did you like go to school for some shit? No, I did 10 years of balloon prison. I do a clown act in Vegas, so I have a bar. Hell yeah, hell yeah. For Halloween. I really thought about doing like a George Washington minute. We'll see. We'll see. Yeah, yeah. I got some plans. It was like me and my three homies, Priya and Thomas. And we were like, we're not getting picked today. I still had a text message between me and my boy Kyle. Yeah, you were going to leave. Yeah, I was like, I'm leaving. I'm moving out of here. It's not going to work. I don't have that kind of luck. And then we're sitting at the bar. We all eat some mushrooms. And then Thomas gets called. And I was like, oh, I'm definitely not getting called. Right. And we're still sitting at the table. And then Priya gets called. That's weird. And I was like, well, I'm for sure not getting called up. And then that soda pop dude didn't show up. So they pulled a second name, even though he went up before me. That's the one who got booed right before I got on. So they pulled my name like right after that. And I was like, pfft. And then it was just a blur until, I don't know, like a month later. It's still a blur. It was all a blur. Wait, how many mushrooms did you eat? Enough to get regular. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One take done. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Just in case, you know what? I get picked. And then next week will be like the day after Halloween. You know what I mean? So I thought I would, I'm trying to get ahead of the thing. I got a great minute ready because the last two times I was on, I had a full blown panic attack. Dude, I repeated myself like three times. Okay. And I was like, I watched myself. I'm like, man, I know that material. Like I've been saying it for 45 years. Okay. And then I get up there and I panic. It's Tony and the blue eyes. And then it's Raul. Saul. I did that too. I turned around after I did a little trick joke and I said, hey Raul. So this one friend of mine made all these videos of me and Raul doing it and me watching funny and. Oh no. Yeah. It was funny. It was funny. I love doing those killer shows. Oh hey. Yeah. Especially cause I opened. Oh shit. And it was like, cause I was like, if it works here. Dulce 2.0. Oh my God. Look at this little spinner. We got a new Dulce folks. Yeah. I can see her vagina. I know. We're going to see her sitting quietly in the corner of the Sunset Strip green room next week. Yeah. She's cool. She's got style. She wears wacky hats and stuff. I like her. She's cool. I know. She has like swagger or something. Her face is so far away from it. She looks dangerous. She looks dangerous. Like stab you with a fucking stick. Oh yeah. So you were at the Brad Perry Kill Tony show? Yeah. Yeah. First one pulled out of the bucket that night. It was pretty wild. Pretty wild. All I do know is they had a plant in the front row. This good looking blonde with a white short skirt on, some big old knockers. Yeah. That was a plant Tony. I saw that. When did you notice that first? She was right there in the front row man. Everybody else was dressed in dark around her. She was the only one in a white short skirt. So good play Tony. Oh there he is. Getting his pre-show meal in. Pre-show what? Pre-show meal. That it's okay for me to call it yet? You gotta do it. Not during show meal. Pre-show meal. Man. I'm gonna go get my whole thing. Yeah, he was great loved how you handled it Oh, saw your thing probably the classiest take out of everybody. It's just common sense, but somehow everyone avoids putting out a statement Yeah Crazy Every night yes and day every day and night every hour really And now if I could go in here and do an interview and not have a panic attack. Maybe Tony could see I'm not the psycho that has been on his stage the last two times. I got pulled You know what I mean, and I am kind of hoping I get pulled I want him to ask me what I'm dressed up as because I am an old whore Like from 200 years ago, and I would tell the young men excuse me young man, but my tits are down here so Yeah, let's go! Let's go! Good to see you. How are you doing? Good to see you. I'm fantastic. I love you. What happened? You fall on the plane? No, I didn't. I was getting shit in my wife's car. What's up, dude? I thought I saw him at the airport. I thought I saw him at the airport today, but I wasn't sure. No, no, I was at the airport today. I know. I thought you were dressed down. Oh, you're all right? I'm doing well, how about you? I'm doing great. So what are we doing now? What's the game like? Oh, you mean tonight? Yeah, come on. I think Lewis is joining us. Oh, okay. It's fine. There's nothing about when there's more than one of us on there. It's about being a sniper. We sit back, Tony leads the show, and we just all hit him off. and then let him do his thing. - It's his world, we just live in it. - So there I am, house sitting for you, car sitting for you, and dog sitting for you. - Can we put my sink in? - You're about to tell him that it's your kid? - You picked it up? - He's about to tell you, I was house sitting. I was also. - My condo bathroom, you and I picked up the thing, my Kia. - Oh my God, yeah. - And my penis slipped into your wine. - What? - I think it's my kid. - Yeah, no, it's crazy though, going to college, so. - And you were just starting to make it. It's so wild, dude, so wild. You were just starting to make it, and I was literally making, I think, $4.75 an hour working at the comedy store. They're cutting my hours 'cause I was in the overtime. - I hate the way now success is judged. There's a thing called capitalist ontology. Everything is done through capitalism. Everything is like, how much money did it make this weekend? I don't care how much money it made. Was it good? Did you like the work? I don't care how much it made. It doesn't make any difference. You don't do this stuff. My heart is about the avant-garde. It's always about, just do it. Because you can't not do it. Not because I'm a writer. People say, how do I get this? You guys smush on in. But you can't not do it, and that's a good sign. Dude, I'm so curious. How did you and Tony meet? In high school. Yeah. personal high school, Youngstown, Ohio. - What grade? - Ninth grade, yeah. - That's crazy. - Yeah. - And you guys were friends? - Uh, so I had to fight for my spot at the lunch table. And Tony did make it easy, and that's why we love him. People ask me like, "Oh, well, is Tony like in high school?" Exactly the same. - Oh, okay. - Exactly the same. - Historical night. Oh, yeah. In England, yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to. Yeah, I'm trying to. I think you got one. Historical night. I saw him about a month ago. I went to France, and I came over. So at the end of your set, when it comes up organic, I'll announce it, and we'll fucking. It's going to be glorious. Glorious. Just to get out. There's no more around. Wait, no line. I think he found a place. When did y'all start 13 years ago? That started August 13 years ago. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. - Thirteen and a half years ago. - I guess, are they really anti-- - Oh yeah, now. It started in August, '13, in June. - June, 2013. - That shit was made for me. We did our Halloween show last night, Felicia's Guest, and one of the interns came in blackface. Oh. What's going on? And he stopped working. They wouldn't work until he. He wiped it off his face. Oh my god. You know, Joe, he was like, "I really don't want him to wipe it off," because it was a really funny joke he was doing, but he's like, "The guys are going to try to kill him. They're trying to kill us." I don't know. What year was the show? Yes, last night. This is what I was. You can hear yourself, right? Yeah. We didn't want him to wipe it off. I mean. No, no. They're on a different level. It was like a different. It was like. This is what I was telling you. What is he? What is he? I don't know. You like getting canceled, don't you? I know. Well, that podcast is. Let me tell you. Yeah. I don't. I don't even know who he was, but to me, I was like, "I don't know what he's doing, but the kitchen can't work. They're going to shut the club down." Right. They're going to go on strike. Right. Waitresses were leaving. Oh, my God. Some of the characters were outside. That's New York. That's just New York for you now. God, New York. We're going to get raided just a little bit. - I'm purebred, purebred black. - Pumpernickel. - My grandma used to call my daddy cold coffee black 'cause that's how dark he was. - Oh really, cold coffee? - Yeah, she was like, you gotta make a hot pot of coffee, leave it out, and that's your daddy. - Hold on, I'm glad I didn't say that. - Wait, it was my grandma, I didn't say that. That was straight from the town. But I was like, I'm gonna be the whole front row, was like a million people but I was like oh they were like hey we don't know what they like I love you in New Mexico and I went there and everything I said to do was like about to bring his wife out and then he started coughing real hard so I stopped and then he was like I don't crowd sucks really I was also sorry I - I was trying to kill you all. ♪ Let's be funny ♪ ♪ Don't lose money ♪ ♪ Become a zombie ♪ ♪ Getting lucky ♪ - Good? ♪ Don't lose money ♪ ♪ Don't be a junkie ♪ Is that my song? - That sounds good to me. Whatever it takes. Nicole, you can go all the way. I don't know where to go. Okay, there you go. Thank you, Heidi. And Jimmy and Louis, Steve. What do you want? Right here on the second step. No, you guys are going to be on the second step and then Steve will be on the third one right here. You want to be on the second step. Just Steve, lean in closer. Jimmy, you're right here. Okay, perfect. Yeah, love it. And then Steve, you're leaning in over their shoulders. Okay, here we go. Okay, one, two, three. We got it. All right, we're good. all right unbelievable dude he's literally like i mean it's so crazy how funny he was i wish you would wait till you hear wait till you hear how the internet reacts to this let's all jump in close together set people up on a blind date yeah oh it's beautiful let's all get one more picture oh they're gonna be in love with each other i hope so squeeze in for one more I got everybody in this right here. One, two, three. Dude, Kumi is like, he's going to get, he's going to get, it's like. He's going to blow up on me. Not only that, but it's like, it's just, it's one of those, it's one of those, dude, this is it. He's, he, in between me and Norton, just. It was the craziest. It was, it was. He's the lead of your show, so if you just set him up, he just. It was unbelievable. He had so much to work with. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so here's the deal. It's a three-man panel, so we're going to go Jimmy next to me, Louis in between Steve and Jimmy, and Steve at the end. But you at the end, sometimes that third person kind of like, because the mic's over there, so we're watching over there, kind of trickles that way. Try to stay square with the table because we're all kind of doing it. We're all doing the dance where if you look at me with the microphone up to your mouth at the same time, I'm going to tee you up clean, right? you guys all know this we've all done this a bunch of times but the three-person panel is kind of a little bit busier so watch for double talk like make sure the coast is clear if you're going for which it's fine as long as nobody else is already talking um i leave the questions but if you guys have a funny question you can go for it ask that but i'll always ask the basic questions so that you guys can sit back and just prank home runs and triples exactly perfect we're gonna We're gonna have so much fun. Here we go, can you believe it? What a life we have. What a fun, silly little life. Spooky. ♪ Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na na ♪ ♪ Ba ba na ba na ba ♪ - Hey, this is Redneck coming to you live from the Coffee Mothership here in Austin, Texas. We're brand new on the set of "TLGiving". Get out there and talk, hey! - That's me. Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? One of these guests is one of my favorite comedians in the world, famous for many television shows and things like that. This is one of the co-hosts, the newest co-host of the hit podcast, Legion of the Skanks. Legion of Skanks. Legion of the Skanks. Legion of Skanks. our dear friends, our brothers in New York. The other one is one of the founding members of the Legion of Skanks and the record holder for the most all-time appearances on the show, The Little Fun Factory. The other guest is a frontrunner for Guest of the Year 2026. Right now, Joe is the frontrunner of the Guest of the Year. He's also the returning guest of the year for 2017, 2018, and 2019. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you three of the funniest stand-up comedians in the world. Jimmy Carr, Louis J. Gomez. The great Jimmy Carr, Louis J. Gomez, and Steve Rannis-Easy. Let's go. Bye, Laura. She won a golden ticket, I think, eight or nine years ago in San Francisco, California. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a brand new minute from an old legend. This is the return of Nicole Tran, everybody. Happy, spooky, Halloween, Saturday, October 31st, let's go out, be silly, don't lose - There's money. - Oh my God! - This way? - Ladies and gentlemen, for your own presence in the audience, this is Jessi Lake, everybody. - She's gonna do great. - Oh, I love you, Jessi Lake. - Wild to me, because-- - I'll still be here like twice. - We think-- - That's, that's-- - The worst thing that you could say is that-- - You can't get any of that, I'm telling you. - It's wild to me because you think the word-- - The song, I improvise it because it's a holiday, a Halloween, it's all about candy, sugar, not spending a lot of money, don't become a junkie, getting lucky, that's a song I sing for Halloween, Or a cute Tony song. I improvise at the last minute, so that's why I do all the funny things over there. I try to memorize some of the Halloween cookies and things. Maserola, Eyeball, they say Spider, Devil Egg. I came up with, I memorized it really quick, two minutes before staying. And I wrestled Brom's dick with some bomb stick. That's what I did. I guess I'm getting old. I guess I'm learning. I'm getting old. I really feel like I'm old, but I'm not ready to die. I'm not ready for my kids to go through my nightstand. You know what I'm talking about? I don't want them to think their mom and dad were freaks. I need, like, not an executive of the world. I need an executive of the nightstand. A good friend in a house. Me and my wife are going to get rid of all the kids' balls and all the gadgets. Replace them with Bibles and roses. I need a legacy, you know what I mean? And I'll say, here, look at that fucking Melissa's on the couch. I want to go home and get a few strips of your mom at the end. That sucks. I'm telling you, I really don't like guns. Is that a bookmark you have on me? It's going to happen. I really think you like guns. The nightstand is the most dangerous piece of furniture in the house. Keep the kids away from that. Never mind, he's sick. I'm not worried about it. This is what happened last time. Two people bought this before me. Niggas are getting booed. They were like, oh, my God. That thing goes straight up. Remember when you thought you were a beast? I knew all this. That thing's crazy. What you know about it? Why do you even have a board? Because you know what you do. Oh, my God. Do they have any problem with me? That's how we had you. I got to hit on her to let you know. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. I already mentally knew how much this was going to be before I put it on the treadmill. I didn't do the transaction. When you said, do you want bags for $0.35, I niggas thought, yeah, two bags, easy. Take the bags. That's up. And then she was like, well, you have to dump them out. I said, don't worry about that. I'll just carry them in my arm and indoors. I just took my sweatshirt off and I put the bag of chips and the ramen in the middle of it. I put the lunchables in the fanny pack and I put the loose meat. I put the loose meat in the fanny pack and I put the loose meat in the fanny pack. So I carried it out of there like Santa Claus. I'm not going to need no bag. I don't need no bag. 70 cents already paid for this. I need the bag. I'm going to say the line for a guest. Plus, extra shows for exactly one year. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one year anniversary. Dedrick Flynn, ladies and gentlemen. Dedrick has been performing every single week. He's been performing every single week. And always does more, way over one minute of new material. He's probably done two or three hours in the past year. An unbelievable fun fact. And since it's been a year and it's been a high-pressure situation, we are announcing that Dedrick will only be performing on special shows from now on. In arenas and Killers of Kill Tony. I heard it. I heard it. I heard it. I've done six arenas, 37 theaters, and over 350 shows since I got home. My dreams came true. Yours can too. This is the most beautiful show on earth. Fuck yeah. The great Dedrick Flynn, ladies and gentlemen. Amazing. Future Kill 70 Hall of Famer. Above and beyond. I feel. An overwhelming sense of gratification. I took everything you can take from the show. I'm going to be on a bunch of things. I'm not leaving, but it's. That one-year mark is a very hard thing to do. There's a lot of ups and downs. There's things that naturally happen to you, and you still have to go to work. People don't ever think about stuff like that. But it's not. Complainable, because I still. I'm supposed to be happy. And, like, learning that, and then keep going. And all the friends that I've made. All the friends I got to see that I never got to see before. Because they were living in these cities, and now I get to tour in them. I've met so many new people. I've met so many great people. This has been a fantastic thing to have happen. Even just, like. I've been waiting. Like, you know what I'm saying? Even, like, the bad stuff. Even, like, the hate. I appreciate all y'all. I love you, baby. What's up, man? Brother darkness. Brother darkness. Come on, man. How you do? All I wanted to do when I started 13 years ago was to make friends, tour, eat good food everywhere, see everybody, like, do these things, make more best friends. I wanted a bunch of stories. That's all my whole life has been. And this has helped catapult me to another level. And I'm very excited for the next level of things. But I definitely need some break. Because I just tired flying in, connecting flights out, being all that. I've been busting my ass. Every time I try to get up, I am attempting to do my best. And that's just life. And if you are sitting down, and you want to do something, and you want to do something, no matter whatever it is in life, you can't do it. Because if I can do it from where I'm from, and the things that I've been through, that I still have never even talked about, you can do anything. You can always do anything. Just bust your ass and stay ready. It's crazy. It's crazy to think about. I'm in a marriage. No, you're not. Are you getting back? It's over, dude. I want you to win this back. It's fine. There are so many good things that have happened, there are so many other things that have happened, there are so many, oh I'm missing this funeral because I have to be at work, I gotta, I'm missing this, I like, I've had like 22 funerals since I've been pulled from like people that are very close to me that I'm trying to make or I have to give back, there are so many things you miss I'm missing my nieces and nephews like growing up but they still know and they honor what I'm doing and so does my city so does this city so does every city and it's a lot of warmth and there's a lot of love it's just there are things that are real and there are things that aren't real and I'm just figuring out things as I go all I ever wanted to do is do my best and make the people that believed in me right and that's all I care about is proving them right that They believed in me. They helped me together when I was homeless, when I was broke, when I had money, when I didn't have money. We've been through a flux of things in 13 years. Having cars. I didn't pop more tires than anybody. Going to shows that nobody gave a fuck about all over the United States. You just keep busting your ass, and I promise you, God is going to give you the opportunity to show your ass. And you got to show your ass. And that's it. My dad used to say, when it's your time, it's show time. And that's all I believe in. you just go out there and be the best you that you can be and then you just keep going because it's all in the record books that's all that's all life is that's amazing man like i'm so proud of you and i'm curious to know what's next after this man i got a special coming out i got sketch shows coming out i got cartoons coming out i got short films coming out i've just been writing and stacking for this moment of course I'm going to be on other Kill Tonys but it's like now I get a chance to breathe because riding fucking because people think it's just one year but sometimes we have a Monday then we have a Saturday Sunday then we got to come back that Monday then we got to do so but you do it and you try to get it the best you can and it's a hard opportunity and I've thoroughly enjoyed like having to defeat this gigantic obstacle in my life. It's made me more creative. It's made me grow as a person. I'd have been in three different countries. One of them I got arrested. But the other two. I've been down to Mexico. I got Canada date. I got a lot. I got a lot ready to keep going. But like now I have the breathing room to just kind of focus on a couple things. Because this was my job. And I took it very seriously. And I busted my ass. And I always wanted to give more. Because like a minute. Like, if you get a minute of head, like, that's not enough head. So I was like, let me just give them who I am. If you can learn who I am and you love that, then you'll love me. Other than that, I don't care. I don't give a shit. I got to, like, I'm just busting my ass. Either you see it or you don't. I've had a lot of jobs of people busting their ass and then somebody got to go, don't you see this boy? But I love Kilchoni. I love all the fans. - I'm looking forward to it. I don't know, I haven't heard from him in a while. He's like, "Man, I got some secrets." He's like, "What I do is, I go into the Illuminati, I get the secrets, and I come back and I tell them all to you." And then it's like, an hour later, he said, "You don't hear a single secret. There's nothing that you believe in." He used to really be on that kind of shit, though. Oh, no, he's fucking hilarious. But like, the secret shit, like, he would actually be like. Yeah. And then it's like, it's kind of crazy to say that, like, after the "Sharp and the Sharp" interview, where he, like, literally was being like, "This guy, Hollywood's. " "A bitch." Yeah. And then it's like, to do a special, where it's like, "Oh, he's gonna do it even more, like, constructive." Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's the thing about the special, is like, the whole time, it's like, "I'm gonna tell you secrets," and it's like, the least he ever says about, like, Hollywood or anything. I just always do "Hammerberg" and, uh. I talk about ancient Egypt and stuff. It was a fertile valley, and they had Wi-Fi. I'm like, "How much movement he has." That was like a, that's actually, like, a really funny handle on the Cat Williams impression. Yeah. It's like the run you just did with, like, the feet going, like, way too high up the back. Yeah. Do you dodge your hammer, too, or do you. I don't know if he, I don't know if he actually just ran, like, like, really sprinted across, like, you know, like. Yeah. Just, like, not even, not even, like, a funny sprint, just like a. It's like that Kanye concert in, like, England. That was for Princess Diana. It's, like, the first time he ever ran. Oh, I've never seen that. Yeah, he's, like, doing a touch of the sky, it's like, "I had to do it." "An hour after my band set, I just had to do it." I think it's, like, he's, like, really, like, sprinting across a huge stage. He's, like, out of breath. That's, like, a fall-ass breath. And this, like, Asian girl who, like, signed up had, like, gone on it. Like, she had, like, signed up for Kill Time, but she was somehow at the after party. Just, like, some Asian open-minded girl, just, like, a complete, like, "Argh!" Like, and, like, just sat with those and, like, wouldn't take a hint. But just, like, there for, like, 10 to 15 minutes. Red Band literally just, like, Googles, like, "Number one K-pop star." And he goes, like, "Oh, John Chu, your butt over the fuck, is here." And the girl literally just goes, "What?!" And, like, runs out the door. He's outside. Dude, it was, like, literally. The funniest thing I've seen all year happened to me. My song's "The Willy Wonka Golden Ticket Show" on Netflix. Oh. Is it a chocolate-making show? It's, like, "Survivor." It's, like, "Big Brother," "Survivor," except there's, like, very low stakes. And, like, the competitions are, they're, like, just all up to chance. It's, like, dude. Just watch that with the intent to laugh at it. It's good. Wow. It's pretty fun. All right. It ruins all other television. I can't find anything else I enjoy anymore. The second episode, there's this 70-year-old woman in glasses. She's, like, "Are you kidding me? I just got out of a friggin' gumball." Out of all the people in the history of the show, we hear it a lot. It's, like, "Oh, I'd get fired if I told you." Really? Yeah. It's like, "Oh, I'd get fired if I told you. Really?" It's like, "Oh, I'd get fired if I told you." She's like, are you kidding me? I just got out of a friggin' gumball. Out of all the people in the history of the show, we hear it a lot. It's like, oh, I'd get fired if I told you. Really? It's the nature. I love it. Whoa! Make some noise for the great Miles Johnson. Do you have a favorite moment or something behind the scenes where anything you're going to miss being a regular or a favorite moment, any, like, one moment that you can recall besides winning the regular show? I think my favorite was, like, I took a joke that I love at Madison Square Garden, but they didn't understand it, and then knowing that there was a second show, And I was like, I'm going to show the fuck out. And then being able to show the fuck out was tight. Because I deal with messing up. I think that's the human behavior is that when you do bad, you have the opportunity to fucking double back. And then, okay, let me show you why they really. And, like, that kind of, like, energy always drives me. Like, it's just like, okay, well, let me go ahead and get it together. Maybe I got too comfy. Maybe I just, maybe I'll let things in my life get to me. Well, let me go ahead and show you what it looked like when I really don't, you know what I mean, like when I'm really turned up. So, like, those have been great moments. I've met so many great comms. I don't know. It's all hard to weigh up. It's just a beautiful year of meeting people that have been doing better than me for forever, that I've been waiting to talk to. I love talking to Joe. I love talking. There's so many people that are, like, their backs that people haven't seen that I get to bond with. That's all been cool. I just love all of it. Like, I don't know. It's like ranking your favorite kids. Like, every moment is a great moment in life. Like, when I come next week, that'll be a great moment. I don't know. I just try to live it right now and enjoy right now because I've already spent the whole rest of the time looking forward to being able to enjoy. Sometimes it's just like, oh, well, if my homies get to come open up for me now that I'm selling tickets and I can get them some money and some work because they're in the city. And they've been doing it eight years. They can't get booked. So, oh, let me take you to this. Then they get to meet these bookers and stuff like that. Like, I'm always about, like, everybody else. Because I'm a family type guy. So, it's just like, if I can't pull everybody with me, I don't want to do it. And that's probably cool. Like, buying my nieces and nephews whatever they want for Christmas. That's what I care about. Paying, like, my mom hits me up, hey, I need this. And I don't have to panic. Send it. That's what I'm here for. That's amazing, dude. And my last question is, what is your advice or message to the next up regular? Work and keep going. There's always going to be, like, people don't really, like, they prize, like, undefeatedness. But I like when somebody has to fight for an average. And I think people do. Is that, like, every week is a different week. You're only as funky as your last cut. So it's just, you keep grinding. No matter whatever it is, you keep grinding. You keep going. You're here for a reason. Don't listen to too much outside noise. But some of it coming in, it's constructive criticism. So sometimes, like, if somebody's criticizing, it might be constructive. But you got to learn how to pull whatever you want to your goal. Right? And it's the hardest job in the world, dog. It's the hardest. This is Hell's Kitchen. You got to make a new meal every, I don't know, no chef, they got to make a new meal every week, sometimes three times a week. Like, it's a hard thing to put that in. Just be yourself. Remember why you started it, because there's going to be times you're going to lose it. I didn't. You know, like, that's all I know. There's some times I lost my way, and I'm right back at it. So that's just life, man. Life's going to happen, but you have to continue to keep growing at the same time. What I think would be interesting is to watch you show millions of people the power that Adam Eaget, the booker here, knows about, that all the comedians here know about. So if you're down, Miles Johnson, I think you should be the new regular here on Kill Tony. Let's get out of here. I like those things. Miles Johnson. Yeah, let's do it. a life-changing moment welcome to absolute fame Jimmy Carr doesn't get you an n-word exemption nothing will that's what I'm in it for Tony you get three thank you get out of here you wacky no I'm kidding one more time for the great Miles Johnson everybody the newest regular on killed Sony I'm in I'm a kill Tony regular isn't that cool how do you feel bro that new regular man oh my god wow all right oh I gotta start my jokes right up here two steps up I flew here on Frank Terrier Airline, and not recommended, I got on that plane, it ain't even take off. He drove the whole way here, don't make a fuck. Awesome man, congrats on that. Yeah, take out the wind. Hell yeah. Congratulations! I actually rather spend this time with my family, laughing. It's not good, it's not good enough. - It's okay, it's okay. - I'm not being so strong, I'm not being so strong. - Y'all not gonna make it to CH21. - I'm good with this. - And I found that real messed up 'cause we was in a special ed. And there was only two of us in there. I'm like damn, if I got a bitty, bitty chance of the wild. - Okay, bugger. - You better turn me in a hole. - Yeah, you got it. - Yeah, you got it. - Get crazy, man. - Fuzzy and I are the lifeblood of the sport. place uh you know we keep things going he's fuzzy he's my everything he's my heart he's my soul he's my he's my fucking best friend uh and yeah what are we talking about i love fuzzy and i'm a kill tony regular fuzzy you're my friend what an unbelievable way to end this bucket and you just won a golden ticket ladies and gentlemen unbelievable that's it so we just won a golden ticket you just won a golden ticket ladies and gentlemen he writes a performance every week and it's just time to be entertained i present to you the real deal this is stop fucking playing with me man reggie kush yo let's go look i just i just won a new car too you know what i'm saying get me next to the you know what i'm saying that's gonna be in my next music video this must be crazy bro it is bro i just came out here but just like i don't know i'm on a whim i just i just won it cheers thanks man appreciate you bro yeah yeah that was a good one yeah that was a good one yeah that was a good one that was a good one i gotta look look you make sure this gets to my place yeah that was a good one i gotta look look you make sure this gets to my place got it got it got it how you feeling right now my god yo i'm how you feeling right now my god yo i'm how you feeling right now my god yo i'm feeling good man i came out to austin feeling good man i came out to austin feeling good man i came out to austin just just on a whim i was just like yo just just on a whim i was just like yo just just on a whim i was just like yo let me just go for it explore the scene let me just go for it explore the scene let me just go for it explore the scene see what i can get out of it and like yo see what i can get out of it and like yo see what i can get out of it and like yo i've been here for seven days bro and i've been here for seven days bro and i've been here for seven days bro and it's been the most exciting comedy has it's been the most exciting comedy has it's been the most exciting comedy has been for me in a minute and i'm i just been for me in a minute and i'm i just been for me in a minute and i'm i just this is my first time like doing kill this is my first time like doing kill this is my first time like doing kill tony and i get like a golden ticket so tony and i get like a golden ticket so tony and i get like a golden ticket so i'm very excited i'm just like i don't i'm very excited i'm just like i don't i'm very excited i'm just like i don't know how to feel right now my heart know how to feel right now my heart know how to feel right now my heart racing i got to showcase my comedy and i racing i got to showcase my comedy and i racing i got to showcase my comedy and i got to showcase my battle rap and it's got to showcase my battle rap and it's got to showcase my battle rap and it's only gonna go up from here so only gonna go up from here so only gonna go up from here so you know keep god first all that good you know keep god first all that good you know keep god first all that good stuff stuff stuff shout out to my mom shout out to my dad shout out to my mom shout out to my dad shout out to my mom shout out to my dad shout out to everybody man who supported shout out to everybody man who supported shout out to everybody man who supported me on my journey i feel like i got an me on my journey i feel like i got an me on my journey i feel like i got an oscar or something right now oscar or something right now oscar or something right now uh but yeah man this is what it's about uh but yeah man this is what it's about uh but yeah man this is what it's about man sometimes you gotta take those man sometimes you gotta take those man sometimes you gotta take those chances chances chances don't doubt don't even think about it don't doubt don't even think about it don't doubt don't even think about it just do it and think about it later just do it and think about it later just do it and think about it later because when you take these chances and because when you take these chances and because when you take these chances and you take these leap of faiths it can be you take these leap of faiths it can be you take these leap of faiths it can be very rewarding in the end and as you very rewarding in the end and as you very rewarding in the end and as you can see i was rewarded with a golden can see i was rewarded with a golden can see i was rewarded with a golden ticket ticket ticket i'm gonna start wearing diapers i'm gonna start wearing diapers i'm gonna start wearing diapers i think that's the mood they uh i think that's the mood they uh i think that's the mood they uh they have like cool like vomit diapers or they have like cool like vomit diapers or they have like cool like vomit diapers or something like that something like that something like that hey you guys should just get one of those hey you guys should just get one of those camping pissers for the I know trust me I make fake hope but don't they wicked funny to show of all time good show great show I only buy them here we are right now from tonight I'm really slow now I used to be like sub 30 seconds by y'all not safe with this man around he rap battling your mama your grandma is going crazy man so I'm gonna go to ticket everybody let's go let's go put that ice cream down let's go no I ain't get no fucking haircut ma'am keeping my fucking locks so I'm ready to cut my shit I might go to Turkey and give me one of them airline transplants you know for the no-no nigga I hit him up