Knicks WIN + Ali Siddiq's Best Prison Stories

Hey guys, look, we got a great episode with Ali Sadiq today. Tanya got married this weekend, they ran out of toilet paper. Or it was some ceremonial thing where I got an amazing blessing. You guys decide. Anyway, before this amazing episode with Ali Sadiq, there are some things that we have to address. Some very important things have happened in the world. The Knicks, after 53 years, are NBA champions. I'm so excited about it. I don't, uh, I don't know. I think this is a cool moment because people have actually realized, like, the only sport New Yorkers all care about is basketball. There are New Yorkers who care about baseball. There's New Yorkers who care about football. There's New Yorkers who care about hockey. But the only one that all of us come together to care about as a part of every single New Yorker's identity is basketball. And that's the only sport that we can all play growing up. Like, my high school didn't have a fucking baseball diamond. You know, it didn't have a football stadium. We had a basketball team, barely. It wasn't even a home court. We had to go to this place called Basketball City. It was like a facility that we would play our home games on. And, um, but yeah, so it's just, it's the sport that means the most to us. And, you know, we've suffered through, you know, half a century of losing. And never got. We were bitter, but we never lost hope. We never lost hope. And hope is the religion of New York City. Yeah, not to get too, like, existential, but that is what drives New York City. Like, nobody moves to New York City because they don't have. Because they just want to kind of, like, see what it's like to live a mediocre life. Like, you move here because you have hopes and dreams and you hope to achieve them in New York. And we never lost hope. It's just the weirdest thing. Like, every single year we would have this, like, delusional Knicks fan thing where, like, we're like, yeah, this is the year. We're taking it all the way with Emmanuel Moutier, you know, and Jared Jack. And shout out to both of them. But, like, you know, Enos Kanter is going to bring us a chip. We would believe, we believed every single year for 42 years of my life, 53 years of other people's lives. And, um, I think that's fucking awesome. It makes it that much sweeter. That, like, every single year felt like our year. Like, I was looking through my phone. People are sending me videos. People are sending me videos of, like, a decade ago of me going, nah, Knicks are taking it this year. And then you look at the lineups of these teams. There's no way the Knicks are taking it this year. But we believed. And that is one of those beautiful things about New York. And even the people that moved to New York to make a life here is they truly believed. They believed something crazy, something magical can happen. And that's exactly what we all got to witness. Also, I'm doing this movie out in California and they shaved my mustache and it took, like, five, ten years off of my life. I feel like I'm on guy code again. It's absolutely insane. I don't even know if I'm looking into the right part. I don't even know where the camera is. I'm recording this on my phone, obviously. But, um, yeah, they snatched my stash, bro. Um, the games were nuts. We're going to get to this episode. It's a phenomenal episode. You guys are going to love it. This is the jersey that I wore when we finished it up. Game five in San Antonio. I was at game three, four, and five. How fucking lucky. How lucky. How lucky. How incredible. Think about that. Think about that. Four was the greatest sporting event that I'll ever experience in my entire life. I'll never experience anything like that. That is it. It's all downhill from here when it comes to sporting events. And then five was just complete euphoria. Like, I got to be honest, the San Antonio fans were very cool. They're very sweet. Like, they're great fans. And they're used to winning. So I think it's, you know, they're not, like, combative. But with all due respect to San Antonio fans, it was a home game in there. I mean, I'm being conservative when I say this. 40% of the arena Knicks fans. They were booing Spurs players while they shot free throws at home. It was. Anyway. Okay. I've talked too long on this, but God bless New York, man. We can start focusing on the World Cup after the parade on Thursday. Shout out to Tartan. I mean, the Scottish taking over Boston. The World Cup is really, like, an amazing event, like, outside of the sport. Like, it is just. It might be, like, the most incredible act of humanity that exists. Just seeing people from all around the world embrace different cultures and see, like, the most beautiful, passionate parts of them. And, yeah, it's pretty awesome. Whatever. We'll talk about that. I'll be out here for a few weeks. We've recorded. Banked some dope apps for you guys to check out. So enjoy Ali Sadiq. He's got some amazing stories. You're going to find out who the hottest white woman in prison was. Just some amazing, like, stand-up stuff. And, yeah, just great episode. Hilarious guy. You know, it's almost drowned. Great story about that. I mean, just awesome stuff. So enjoy. Love you guys so much. God bless the Knicks. God bless New York City. God bless you all. Peace. What's up, everybody? And welcome to Flagrant. And today we are joined by a favorite guest of ours who is back. I think one of the most prolific comedians out right now. Maybe ever. Just the volume is absolutely insane. He is yet another special. Do you know how annoying it is that you have released multiple specials before I barely got back on the road from my last special? And I'm here to celebrate. I have to celebrate you. But also, like, man, I'm not working hard enough, man. It's Ali Sadiq. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brr, brr, brr, brr. How y'all doing? He's back in the building. Listen, this is perfect timing, you know, 'cause Houston's own just put out a triple album, you know? So, uh. Houston's own. Do you-- does Houston claim-- does Houston claim Drake? Um. I like how we're getting political right off the top. Well, I-- I don't think my era claims Drake. I think whatever that era is he's in claims him. But I've never been, "Oh, Drake's from Houston." I'm like, "No, I don't even-- I don't think I ever even said Drake hung out. I didn't use them." Really? It's not-- it's not a-- I'm not a-- this is what a-- what it is about Drake. OK, music-- OK, cool. Music is cool. But-- Ali. --it was cool-- I love you, bro. I love you. I love you. The second I saw him in Justin's scene, I'm like, all right, take it away, man. Take it away! Let me tell you something. So the music was cool because of this, to me. Yeah. Because it was so much familiar music that I had already heard growing up. Mm. So I could see the emulation in when you did the Too Short jump, when you did the Pimp C jump, when you did-- Oh, so like-- So it's like, it's familiar to me. I'm like, oh, OK, I remember this. But it's not really celebrating. You were celebrating the era where I know you got it from. Right. You know what I'm saying? So I wasn't like, oh, Drake is the man. I've never gave him that lyrically. So-- Really? I mean, it's better lyricists than Drake. Who for you is top three, top five? Lyrics? Just lyrics. Oh, just lyrics. The storytelling guru of all times is Slick Rick. How he paints the picture is phenomenal. Yeah, OK. Then you have to-- can I put them together? Because I heard somebody say that another group was the greatest group of hip hop of all time. I was like, so y'all never heard of Ronda? I'm D.M.C. But-- Hold on, hold on, hold on. Who'd they say was the other greatest group? And I like both-- Outkast? Outkast. Yeah. And I like both groups. That's hard to do. But you can't-- it's just one of them things. You're going to put over Run and Darryl Mack? This is where our age is showing a little bit. Like, the way something affects you when you're in your formative years, it's like, the way that we look at Jordan-- nobody could look at Jordan that grew up with LeBron. But see, the thing is, before Jordan-- because I didn't grow up yelling Jordan. It was always Dr. J. It was a different era. Not even Hakeem when you were in Houston? No. Hakeem came with Jordan. I'm 52. They was already-- I'm a bean. I'm living already. I'm already watching basketball. So Dr. J was number one. Dr. J was the number one guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even over Kareem. I didn't grow up yelling Kareem that time. Because everybody was-- even though I knew this-- even though I was trying to get the Skyhook down. But you want to play like Dr. J. Dr. J was-- Yeah. Join him on the play like Dr. J. Yeah. So the thing is, how do you-- and I'm just not one of the people that skip over the original idea for the take on the idea. Especially if you lived through the original idea. I'm old as hip hop. But hip hop wasn't-- Oh, shit. Just think about it. Hip hop did turn 50. That's crazy. Wow. I'm-- it's 52, man. I'm 52. So I remember when it wasn't hip hop yet. It wasn't-- the Voltron hadn't happened yet. Could you say MC? It was rapping. It was just called rapping. It wasn't the dancing yet, and the fashion, and all of these things. It hadn't combined yet to become hip hop. Wasn't it also like there was like a DJing aspect too? DJing, you know, but that's the part with the MC. see you for the beat but and then this thing before people had beat machines i had a dude named herb okay he's beating on his chest he's beating on the car he's using his mouth it's the human jock box the fat boys and then the skinny boys isn't that dirty fresh it was like make the music with your mouth beers yeah what they think this game what they thought he was doing he was beatboxing so it wasn't it wasn't a hey uh this is by this is a mustard on the beat no it's herb on the beat that's so funny so you know you gotta think about how the overall thing like when you talk about great producers they're talking about everybody else but leave out herbie lovebug or herbie hanker like how do you leave out these people who i in the beginning the beginning people you know herbie hancock herbie hancock was on the what was he on a constitution no no john hancock that's his nephew his nephew herbie that's the thing you can't it's like even with like podcasting or late night shows how do you just put somebody else over the over the original idea because it was somebody that originally did this first who was your original for the late night shows oh man you gonna have to go johnny carson now would you consume carson like in your house yeah i'm a kid it's like when i'm growing up johnny carson is coming on this tv like when we were growing up there was one tv so it was like a house we had we had we had two tvs you had one at the bottom that you that didn't work that good and then you put the other one like it was a familial event watching something you together you know like bonanza man i'm never gonna not like bonanza i don't know what is this this is my first soap opera this is this is like this is like oh man this is a great show like i grew up carol burnett right this is my first comedic you know person you know there's a uh oh man this is do you understand bonanza i hope you guys are watching the video look how fly look how fly they were man look at this jacket bro i had that on last night like yo this is this is man this is a a classic show and and and things always happen and and and it's like look at this guy's back that's the standard for tv back in the day things are always happening i'm talking my own bonanza though this is just white shaft if i could do no no you gotta go you gotta get to look a little watch out now you know the car rights the car rights are the first like cowboy mob family like with nothing jumping off without car rights if i could do a black version of this it'd be crazy they need to bring this back man but now if you i'm telling you if you sit down and watch bonanza then you'll call me and be like yo bonanza's crazy this is this is a great show but just think my first comedic um influence carol burnett it's not the watch listen to richard prine albums i'm first interested in comedy because of how funny carol burnett was i would watch the carol burnett show and it was hysterical really like carol burnett show is hysterical like if you go back and you look at all the shows that you've seen i would watch the carol burnett show and it was hysterical the shows that we watched that we came up on like i have a strong argument when people try to say that you know tv is an idiot box no it's the idiot that's in front of the box that's what you're choosing to watch i'm saying it's like if you sit up oh man you talking about a hysterical show this show is hysterical it's like and all the different characters that carol burnett played it's like she doesn't get enough um recognition amongst people for comedy because this is like this came on man this is crazy like this is a crazy show so i went back and watched a bunch of i love lucy oh man and i was i was shocked at how funny it was yeah what like because in my mind i'm like i don't know sometimes i watch old stand-up like lenny bruce and i'm like it's i can appreciate what it was in the time but it's not funny to me now the way it was then but i'll watch i love lucy and i was expecting it to be the same thing like corny jokes i don't know no it was legit funny situation so the thing is you say that it's not funny as it was back then you had you would have to travel back in time and go back yes then and be like yo the context but you have people that have transcended time i think prior does that you know um a lot of people do it prize like top tier and i and i think that people get when prior is not your your focus oh it's prior or like i i like richard pratt but he wasn't cosby to me yeah cosby was and cosby still holds up like well comedically he cosby is like the pinnacle and then you have you have don rickles you have don rickles don holds up yeah i'm saying that's the that's the thing you you have comics throughout comedy history that hold the the test of time but it's hard with stand-up though man it's very hard they're like movies that you can watch from back in the day and you can be like holy shit this is an amazing film and there's a lot of them like you can watch saw shank redemption right now and you can be like this is one of the best films i've ever seen in my life i watched like shitty action movies from when i was a kid and i'd be like this is this is armageddon i showed my wife armageddon she's like how did i not know about this movie i was like because you were zero when it came out he just described armageddon to me to you i was like what is the movie about and he just explains it now in three minutes of the explanation he starts going i started crying bro he went up on the asteroid and blew it up and he goes requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man i've ever met that shit i can't even talk about right now talk about right now i saw a tiktok that fucked me up today man there's something about my algorithm where like like seeing chinese dads like from china like give up their daughter in like marriage or whatever like that they got to take the hand and put the hand in the husband's hand and it's like it's over and there's this one where like he says it isn't chinese but they're subtelling he might not even be saying this shit he might be like take this bitch i'm done with her right like but it says uh if you ever don't if you ever find yourself not in love with her please please bring her back to me or something like that and i was like god damn oh here it is oh he's speaking english i didn't even know i didn't even know they got the covid mask on because you're not used to seeing them get emotional you don't see them emotional i think that is you're not used to seeing chinese people in motion no i don't see it off you don't see it that often i see white people and black people and latinos get emotional but chinese emotion you never see that shit they're stoic they'll wait for you to come back and they'll come back and they'll wait 50 years for revenge yeah but they don't just cry and my whole algorithm is just asian dads it's the whole algorithm bringing down that's it and it gets me every single time you know what what gets you you're an emotional guy um just kids you know something happening with kids like it bothers me you know if if i could if they would if the united states would legally allow me to be um like a vigilante and anybody who hurt kids and you just let me take care of it i would do it like i would sign up like right away you wouldn't be a vigilante and they would give me a list like these are all the people that you can legally take out of here any type of way you want to because they hurt kids i'm like i would be so diligent on that list like santa claus like my list i'm talking about it would be i would be getting it done they they would be amazed i would come back like no no more he's he's done like four lists like everybody else is still on their first list but he's like he's getting the bit he's to the business like i'm like yo like this list kind of short i ain't like i'm like like this is just in one city because i'm oh yeah it's gonna be i'm and i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it it's gonna be bad like it's gonna be bad like i'm i'm leaving bodies places like he was on the list yeah and then you Like, just, and I'm not, like, I'm like, I'll be like what they call Malika Mote. I'm not wavering. Like, I'm not, like, it's nothing you can say to me. Like, it's like, once you see me and you know that you on this list, you know you did something. That's it. Like, yo, it's, it's, hey, bro, it is what it is. Like, you ever seen. Jason. No, what's that movie? Oh, No Country for Old Me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Old Boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was on there with the, with the. Yeah, Javier Bardem plays the guy. Oh, he was, yo, flip, flip the coin. Oh, you ain't got to do this. Yeah, we got to do it. I don't even have no coin. I'm like. You're on the list. You're on the list. It's a mistake. Yeah, I don't know about that. You got to deal with that. You got to do that whenever you get a chance to. Yeah, if you had the same name as someone you know is on the list, you got to change your name. Oh, man. Because Ali's coming. I'm coming. I'm coming. Like, and I, and I got plans for you. Like, like, it's not like I'm, like, I've already thought about what I'm going to do. Each one. It's not going to be different, but it's going to be a bag. Whether it's a little bag or a small bag. You're like, yo, did you see the one that he left? It was just like a soup bag. It was like it was a bag with a. Like a boil. Like a crab boil. Yo, he's wild. Have you seen Dexter? You're familiar with Dexter, right? I've seen him. He goes out and kills serial killers. Yeah. Or he kills bad people, right? He kills bad people. I thought it was serial killers. Nah, it's like. It's like anybody. It's only, it's only serial killers? No, no, it's just like anybody who's bad. Yeah. That's fine. We like that. That's kind of. I would, I would definitely be like. Like he did a job. Could you deal with the violence aspect, though? Like, would that be difficult? He just said it'd be bad. Like what? Like what? Do you know the, oh fuck, what's the name of it? Let's rap about it. You know the Let's Rap About It pod? It's got Maino, Jim Jones, Dave East and Fabulous. Have you ever seen these guys? Bro, they were doing, they asked them a question. They're like, what would you do if you guys weren't rapping? And then they said different things. Like maybe I'd be in fashion. Maybe I'd do this. Maybe I'd do that. And then Maino's go, Maino goes, I'd be a serial killer. Like what? It's not a job, bro. It's a hobby. This is the exact attitude I'm getting right now. If I wasn't a comic, I'd be a chef. You know, I already know. You know, still cutting stuff. You know, that takes me back to. I was thinking about when people talk about eras of things. So I was doing somebody else's podcast. Not going to give them the name. Shout them out. I don't know. I'm not trying to shout them out. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So I was giving a take on something on somebody else's podcast. And I'm talking from what happened in the 90s. Yeah. Then somebody else was on. That same podcast and said, what I said was BS. But then I went and looked up when they were locked up. They were locked up in 2014. Ah, so it's a very different time. It's a different time. And I think that some guys. And I texted the person in the pocket. I said, from what I'm hearing, what I'm not going to allow you to do is get me into no beef with somebody. Over. It's an era that they didn't understand. Right. I said, because it'll go there. And that's the thing. But me being intelligent enough to understand that you're speaking from a different era than what this was. That's like me talking about, oh, what would have never happened in the 50s. I wasn't in the 50s. Can't say. I just know what was happening in the 90s. Yeah. And sometimes people speak on things without understanding the era. Yeah, that's podcasting. Yeah. It's kind of the media. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like people. But if you're in a room, it's kind of difficult. When you're in a room with someone who's had the experience, it's kind of difficult to be like, no, you didn't have that experience that you're telling me about. But the great thing is this person had an experience. But in 2014, it's not the same. Yeah. In 1993. Yeah. In 2014. You didn't even have. Y'all don't even have canned goods. When you were locked up. Yeah. You had pouches. So how are you going to talk about what we would have did in 93 when we had canned goods? Yeah, yeah. Two different eras. Yeah. You know, I remember when people used to drink out of the water holes outside or out of a hydrant. Just random. Oh, yeah. You would turn on. But now it's, oh, like, I'll never forget. My cousin was thirsty and I had some water. I was like, yeah. He's like, man, I ain't drinking after you. Like, sis wins. Like, sis wins. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, we shared a garden ride. We drank out of the same jug in the house. I ate half of my ice cream and you ate the other half. You in vice versa. Are you insane? Like, then I had one cousin who still lives in that era. Like, I was, what that fool said to me, he's like, yo, man scratched my back. I'm like, I didn't scratch your back. What, you gay? I'm like. Because I know I would have scratched his back then. And he's like, no, no, no. You can't get into it. I'm like, yo, I'm like. And then after that, like, yo, you still, he's like, no. I'm like, all right, then why you didn't stop? I thought you were enjoying yourself. It's like, it's a different era. Like, we talked about the Chucks, right? Yeah. This is the original color. There was no color Chucks. And we dyed them with food color. Like, Easter eggs. If we wanted to know the color, we would dye them. But people, and this, like, I refuse. He told us they sold Chucks at the grocery store. Yeah, like, any, you can get Chucks anywhere. The freezer section. Pop them out. And they was, the high tops was $12. Yeah. The low tops was $8. So, just imagine, I remember I'm in, I'm like mid-40s at the time, and I'm appalled. And it's something, I'm like, yo, I'm going to go buy me a fresh pair of Chucks. Yeah. And I went in, and Chucks was like. $50 or something. It was like $64 in taxes. I was like, I'm not, I'm not buying, I'm not paying this for no Chucks. Yeah. I'm not buying a real sneaker. And I refused. To the stand. To the stand. He just bought you vegetables and went home. And I was like, I'm left. I'm like, I ain't buying these shoes. This is crazy. But I bought some, like, maybe three months ago. I bought some black ones. To start doing squats in, because they're flat. Don't work out in these shoes. Don't put yourself through that. I think that's why they dribbled like that back in the day. They were good. You can't crossover in these. Yeah, you told her. There's no point. That's one of the things. People talk about who had the best crossover. I'm going to always still say Tim Hardaway. Because of, it was no. It's a different crossover. It was no this. No, it was quick. It was no carry. It was a. It was in, so, or skip to my Lou. Oh, wow. Skip to my Lou had a crazy crossover. Tim's was deceptive, man. Because Tim was so shifty. And, like, I'm a Knicks fan, so I got to see Tim's crossover. I'm a Knicks fan, so I'm like, Tim was crazy. But look at that. It was the between the leg cross. A lot of people just do that regular cross in front. But he would go. Oh, yeah, he was filthy. Just filthy. And then who added, who the next? Abdul Rauf. Right after that. After that, his cross was bananas. Yeah, but. But it's not. That carrying. He didn't pledge allegiance, bro, so. Man, but it's still, he was still. Everybody apologized to him. They did a documentary on that. Yeah. They knew they was wrong for that. But he was. What happened? This guy was basically, like, Steph before Steph. Way before. Like, lights out shooter. And what was the deal? He wouldn't stand for the national anthem or something like that? Yeah, he didn't want to stand for it. And, but he was unbelievable. Who'd he play for? Wow, he was taking a knee back there. The Nuggets. Denver Nuggets. Yeah. But he was. He was filthy. He came from LSU. I mean, unbelievable. Like, I'm talking about. Unbelievable player. The pull-up was crazy. Like, he. I remember when he gave Chicago the business. 50-piece? Oh, this is the part that people don't say about this. So, they. He's giving everybody the business. So, then they try to put everybody on him. Everybody. And Scottie, they. Jordan grabbed Scottie. He was like, you hold him. And then. That's crazy. Scottie was getting roasted. Then Jordan tried to hold him. Hold him. He cooked Jordan. Wow. And then they put, like, Paxton on it. Nah, nah, nah. Or Curry or somebody. Nah, I can't do it. And it was like. It was crazy. I never heard of this, but. You remember him. This was like a big story back in the day. Oh, damn it. You got a couple minutes. He was cooking. I mean, just filthy. He was cooking. Quick release. Like. Again, it was a very different game. Like, they didn't shoot threes like they do now. But, like, just lights out. Like, it was. It was. And so, the team dropped him and no one resigned him because he wouldn't stand for the. They basically blackballed for the league. Yeah, they blackballed him. Wow. They did the same thing to Craig Hodges, though. Yeah, well, because he didn't go to the White House? Is that it? No, because he wore a dashiki to the White House. What? Really? Yep. If you was Muslim. Wow. And you were in the NBA at this time, you were getting shunned. It's like when they talk about the 50 greatest sinners, or they talk about the greatest sinners, they leave out Hakeem all the time, which is insane. Nah, that's crazy. Yeah, that is insane. Which is insane. Nobody's leaving out Hakeem from the top 50 sinners. Oh, man. They do it all. They do it all. - You can't. - No, I'm talking about when they do the top. - 50 players ever. When they do the top five, Senator Meade. Ah, okay. When they do the top five, it's going to be. Kareem, Will, Bill Russell, Shaq, not in this order, Hakeem. You put two Muslims up there. That's far. Yeah. I mean, like, who else would you put there? Kareem, Bill Russell, Will, Shaq, Hakeem. Hakeem got the rings. Pat Ewing doesn't have the rings. Who else would be there? They'd be throwing all type of people up there. I'm glad that you mentioned Bill Russell. Because they'll lead Bill Russell out as the greatest player. I'm like, but Bill Russell, he was playing against the Mormons. Like, what? He wasn't playing against only white guys. He was playing against everybody that was available to play against. That's true. That's true. That's very true. That's the thing. It's like, they don't take, they don't take. This is a, this new NBA is a travel, is a travel league. In Boston, think about this. Like, Boston is like divided, segregated, racist as fuck. Like, they let them coach. Like, that's how incredible. They let them coach and play. He played and coached. And he won two rings. Wow. As he played and coached. There's no player today that can sub himself out. Wait, he was playing and coaching at the same time? He was playing and coaching at the same exact time. How many rings did he, he won? Two. He won two as a player coach. But before that, he won nine. And, I mean, yeah, this is a time where, like, he couldn't even stay at, I think, similar hotels when they went down south and shit. Like, it was an insane. At all. Because the play always just passed it to me. No, he was a defensive specialist. He was a defensive kid. He controlled the whole game. And he's 6'8". Yeah, and amazing rebounder. Wow. My dad said best guy ever played. My dad said that's the most dominant person he ever saw play the game was Bill Russell. And this is during Wilt, when Wilt is putting up, like, insane, like, video game numbers. But he said Russell could dominate the game defensively in a way that, like, you've just never seen. And people just skip on. Oh, the greatest. They skip all. They skip all the way to whoever's current. But when I watch LeBron, no knock on LeBron. LeBron a good player. But if LeBron does 10, 10, get the ball 10 times, and he scores 10 times, out of those 10, he's traveled six. Like a legit. I would be the most hated referee all the time. If I was a referee right now, I'm like, yo, I don't care. I don't care how fantastic it looks. You travel. Because it ain't no gather step now. Now we got a gather step. It's been two steps. And you in the air. Not anymore. Not anymore. Like, they making up rules. Yeah, they found a way to add some more steps in there. Oh, bro. I watched. It was a fantastic play the other night. Dude dunked on the dude. And I went back, and I rewound it. I said, now look at all these steps. Four steps. It was five steps. Yeah, yeah. It was five steps. Five steps. They kind of let you do whatever you want on the fast break. Have you noticed that? If you're on the fast break, you should pick up the ball wherever you want. Dunk it. Didn't one be the whole court with just one bounce or some shit like that? Is he holding the ball at that time? He was probably holding the ball right then. Walking. LeBron be traveling, man. One, two, three, four. LeBron is crazy. One, two, three. They don't care. One, two, three, yeah. They talking about, oh, they could have, names of people could have. Yo, he's literally walking. Nah, you got to get the Russell Westbrook ball. Like, yo, what are you doing? Like, ball going out of the way. Are you insane right now? Get the Russell Westbrook travel. This is a legendary. He didn't even, Russell Westbrook. Wow. Oh, now they call it. They call it out when they couldn't believe it. He's like, what? What did I do? What did I do? Look at, watch this, watch this, watch this. Oh, Russell is literally walking down. Just watch this. Hold on, watch. Oh, I've seen this. This is crazy. Yo, what are you doing, bro? What are you doing? He was coming home from school. What are you doing, bro? Look at him. I remember, Russell, Russell's like, what? Y'all don't do that. Y'all, come on. Y'all don't do that. So only LeBron can do this? What? Nah, bro. See, look at him step. See him step. Like, yo. Yo, yo, yo. What is this? Look at step. Look at step talent. Look at step talent on him. Yo, that is. That really is a 3v3, like, travel. Like, you're just, like, playing in the court. Yo, like, yo, like, you're a referee. Like, you're balled out. All right, dude. No, you got a point. Y'all got a point. I'm going to be out in L.A. shooting a movie this summer, but we added some stand-up shows. So pull on up, man. We're going to be in Pasadena, California at the Ice House the 19th and 20th of June. Then the Ontario Improv will be there the 26th and 27th. And then the Brea Improv will be there July 17th and July 18th. And then we're going to be at the Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, Great Outdoors Fest, August 8th. So you can go grab tickets to any of those shows if tickets are still available. Theandrewschultz.com. All right, Mark, what do you got? Oh, I have great news. I'm going all over at the end of the year. I'm going to. I'm going to Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego, California. And then I'm also going to a couple other spots that are going to be coming up at the end of the year, like Detroit, Michigan, and Salt Lake City, Utah. And I can't wait to see you guys all there. Mark Yagnon, live.com. Alex. Guys, my monthly comedy show is back. Cancelled Comedy is on June 24th. We have a killer lineup. Get your tickets at cancelledcomedyx.com. And then my tennis series, The All-Star. The tennis is on July 25th. I'll see you guys there. The first one was fantastic. The second one's going to be even better. This episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. For 125 years, Nordstrom has been part of your story. The stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview. The first pair of walking shoes for your one-year-old. The tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe. These are the moments that make Nordstrom Nordstrom. Big or small, we're here for all of it. Celebrating 125 years with new moments still ahead. Discover it all in Nordstrom stores and at nordstrom.com. What is the greatest sporting event you've seen with your own eyes? Like you were in the building or at the event. It's a professional because it's been a kickball. We was down like by nine runs. I'll take that one. And man, came back, man. Herb on the beatbox. No, no, no, no. We will, we will rock you. Everything is not professional. I think that that's the thing that people think also. They got, if it's professional, that's the greatest. Bro. No, that one meant more to you probably. It does. It does. A little intramural game in college. You start seeing it falling apart. Like, yo, you start to come back. Like, when you come back, I've come back in the game with, you know, I've come back in the game with, you know, I've come back in the game with, I've come back in the game with, you know, I've come back in the game with, you know, I've come back in the game with, you know, I've come back in the game with, Because we know. Or it's somebody where it's not fair. Someone's too good. Man, you got somebody who, yo, he played college ball. We in middle school. We playing 21. You're not going to get your duke off on us. Or it's somebody grown. It will be some grown dude who's supposed to be in the league, but liquor got him. And now he out there schooling, he out there teaching everybody how this really go, why he should have been in the league. And he playing 21, he got to put a stipulation on his own. I ain't even going to be in the paint. I'm from outside. I'm everything from outside. And that's how you end up playing 21. And you want to tip him out bad, but he ain't missing. Nope. He is not. And he calling you. Y'all don't come back here with me. So I've seen a lot of great shooters for years. Like I know Steph is, do you remember Thunder Dan? Yeah, of course. Dan Marley. So Thunder Dan Marley was shooting him and the rifle man and Reggie Miller. It's like they forget all these long, he's just doing it more. What about Mad Max? Mad Max. You know, Mario, Ellie, what's my man? Got all the rings. You want to go crazy. What is it? The Serbian guy who was nasty. Oh, Zaza Petrovic. No, something Petrovic. Oh, what was my man name? And then he passed away tragically or something like that. Remember what I'm talking about? Yeah, he was crazy. But he was on the nets and he put up like a 40 ball. Look what Thunder Dan is shooting from. Yeah, no, it was crazy. Hot logo. That's it. Wow. You know who else is dirty? Chris Mullen. Chris Mullen. Oh, I remember Chris Mullen. But see, this is the thing. They forget about these people because Steph does it. The game changed also in that, like, the three-point shot wasn't as big a deal back in the day. But it was nasty. Yeah, he's filthy. Yeah, he's filthy. Thunder Dan was crazy, man. Chris Mullen was insane. Yeah, nasty. Nasty. I remember I went to his basketball kit. In the city? Yeah. Really? Because he's a city kid. He went to St. John's. That's the single greatest team that was assembled. Never did nothing. That never did. Because their coach messed them up. Man, they had, Golden State had everybody, bro. It was Chris Mullen. Was it? Weber. But Hardaway. Hardaway. Chris Mullen, Hardaway. Wow, yeah. Man, they had a squad. Yeah, yeah. Their squad was insane. Man. Coach, man. Why didn't anything happen with them? The coach. The coach, man. The coach. The coach sucked, man. Coach sucked. How'd you end up being a Knicks fan? Man, Patrick Ewing. But, like, wait. He came from Georgetown. But, yeah. But, yeah. You were a big Georgetown fan? Yes. Who wasn't? That was black. That was black. Yeah. So, this is. My dad was a Georgetown fan. What was it? John Thompson. John Thompson. So, John Thompson wouldn't, he wouldn't put white guys on the team. No, it just wasn't a white guy. This is what my racist-ass uncle's gonna say. How is there a team in Washington, D.C., and there's no white players? Like, Texas. It's like, where's Texas? No, but it was Georgetown, and, like, A.I. was there. Yeah, man. Georgetown was crazy. And this is when, this is when Ewing. The jerseys were crazy, too. That was the best jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember the starter jackets? Yeah, yeah. The starter jackets was insane. And this was when Pat had the part down the middle. Look, the shaved end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was, man, then we was like, we was waiting to see where Pat was going. Pat went to the Knicks. He was like, hell, yeah. And then he had the Adidas, the Adidas that was dope. Oh, those high-ass, like, super chunky. Not his own shoes, the Ewing's. When he had the first pair of Adidas, the orange and blue ones, the Knicks colors. The first pair of Adidas was neck. Like, look at Pat, man. At Georgetown. That's not the Georgetown jersey, though. The one that was gray. I don't know what that one is. It was, like, gray and black. There you go. Right there. Yeah. Yeah, John Thompson. Dad was a Georgetown fan, too. Was that just like. I think it was a black thing. Yeah. Because, like, Duke kind of felt like the white team or whatever, and then Georgetown felt like the black team. Even though Duke had some nasty, like, it was, they had some nasty players over there. Duke had some nasty. Yeah, Grant Hill was filthy. Oh, was he? Grant Hill was. Like, he's a guy, like, if he doesn't have the ankle issues in the league, that's basically like LeBron before LeBron. My fondest memory. He was fucking. Of Grant Hill was TSU, Texas Southern University, was in the final, was in the tournament. And I'll never forget, number 55, whatever his name is, they up. I don't know why TSU is up. They hit a dude, hit a three-pointer. And Grant Hill is kind of, like, coasting. Like, ah, you know, I ain't even did nothing yet. And literally, dude hit a shot, and he's scooting back, like, yeah. I'm sitting there like, no, don't say nothing to him. Let sleeping dog. And then the very next play, it's like, I don't know who threw this ball to Grant Hill, but he dunked, like, he can't, like, he fell from the rafters. And dunked and swung over in front of the TSU cheerleaders and was like, y'all know I'm going to the league, right? And then went on some insane type of run, like, yo, man, why are y'all messing with this man? Oh, my God. Grant Hill was insane. He was insane with his box. Wow. Duke and Kansas. But just think, man, how many great players, if Jay wouldn't have had the motorcycle accident, and if. I beat Jay one-on-one. Real talk. In what? Basketball. On the computer. On the computer. Jay challenged me. He challenged me one-on-one, and I had to beat him. This is a real thing, man. It's crazy. Unfortunately. I had to beat him. I mean, we had a meeting. What Jay are we talking about? I showed up in a Maryland jersey. I took off the Maryland jersey. I'm in the North Carolina jersey. You got to set the stage. What is. What is. What is. What is. What is. What is really happening here? Look at this defense. I don't cook you. No way. Look at lockdown. Look at this lockdown. Lucky-ass bank shot. Fuck out of here. Who's a bank shot from 12 feet? Get out of here. Where's my arm man that Jay even sweating? Like, you got to sweat against me. I'm up 6-4, mind you. Look at me. I'm up. So, I let him get back in the game. Right? What did it start at? No, it started 0-0. I let him get back in the game. Wait a minute. Hold on. Let's just look at. Foul. That's offensive. That's offensive foul. Listen, now he's just going straight to the cup. He doesn't have confidence in the jumper anymore. Right? Because I took that away from him. Right? And the game gets. Because you see how you were just on your toes? But look at that D. It's lockdown. He had a mosaic, I can say. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired. I've never been this tired in my entire life. So, because you come up on your toes, that's when they cross, I'm going to cook you. Look at. I'm in front of him, though. Look at him. And now he's crying about a foul. This is my. This is my. This is my paint right here. You're not coming into it. Hey, hey, hey. Look at this. And I'm there. And you there. Yeah, I'm. Give me that ball. Give me that ball. You're screaming for him. I'm not. He didn't get the rebound. If it's a real one-on-one game, you know that's just my ball right there. He's doing Jay's monologue right now. Come on, man. Look, Jay's trying to do some bullshit right now. Look at this push-off. There's some net. Look at this. Look at that push. Yo, you're hacking him. Look at him. You're hacking him. Look at him. Look at him. When do you get the ball? Yo, I'm yelling at them on the side. I'm telling. Because he touched the ball. Don't get out the fuck out the way. Let me get that board. Okay. Why do you have on North Carolina jerseys? Because I was trying to get in his head. I showed up in Maryland and then North Carolina. Two biggest rivals. Oh. Look how sweaty he is, man. Yeah, he. I give him that. I'm not falling for any pump fakes. Nothing. His shoes are breaking down. He wore stockings. He knew he was going to have a. He knew he was going to have a real war out there. Do you have. What do you have on your ankles? I got ankle braces. I'm playing against an NBA player. That was a lucky ass shot. Now, this is. Listen. This is where. This is where he gets a little too cocky. And one thing I always say is, don't get cocky with me. You know what I mean? Be grateful. Be humble. You got to be grateful. You got to be humble. If you get cocky with me, horrible things can happen. So he gets a little cocky. He sees the cameras are out there. And, you know, he gets. He's never played in front of cameras before. He never played in front of cameras before. And he gets back. He gets back on the motorcycle. I told him. I said, don't get back on the bike. Oh, my God. Look at what he tries to do to me. Disrespect me in front of my family. Look at what he tries to do. Look, first of all, I'm locked in. I know every move he's about to do. Throws it off my head. And tries to pull up. Worst thing you ever did in your life. Oh, if he hit that. I knew I was going to miss. Break. Worse. Hold on. Hold on. I get the. I get the board. I get the board. And now I'm setting him up. Let me slow him down. Let me slow him down here. Boom! See ya! Pull up! Now look at me looking at him right here. Look at me looking at him. Look at that! Look at that! Unbelievable! Do you believe in miracles? Look at. Is the game over? It's game over. Game is seven. The game was to seven? Of course. Of course. Game over. Bruh. That's it. Now, I will say he gave me six points to start. I just had to score one. I got my trophy. Come on, Ders, you need a trophy. Who's that guy, bro? I don't know. It was this guy in the back. This is just working. He just went in as the greatest basketball game of its entire life. On a treadmill. His kids are going to ask him what's the greatest. He spotted him six points. All he had to score was one point. He had to score seven. But that was his rules, not mine. I wanted to play a straight-up game. He took it to 6-6 on me. You got cooked, Jay. He got cooked. He said, I hate that for you. Because I'm telling you, if it's me and I'm playing against somebody, they give me six, we going to seven. I get the ball first, I'm cooking you. We're playing, I'm going to take that win. I'm going to take that win all day long. That's what I said. Hey, take the win. Hey, you brought these rules into it. Got nothing to do with me. I didn't ask for that. You almost lost, though. I made it interesting. I understand television. I understand entertainment. I made the game seven. That's it. It had to be that. I agree. Great commentator. Mean and Charlemagne. It's ridiculous, man. So that was the greatest sporting event I've ever witnessed. That was it. That was mine. That was it. That was mine. All right, guys. I'm going to be honest with you. For a long time, I was running my health on vibes. Don't do that. I felt off. I just pushed through it. Tired all the time. That's just life. Something weird going on with my body. Probably nothing. I was out here doing full self-diagnosis based on absolutely zero information, like a toddler with a WebMD account. And the crazy part is, that's most people. Most people have no idea what's actually happening inside their body. They just adjust, compensate, pretend. So here's the thing about summer. It exposes you. You're outside. You're moving. You're at barbecues, eating stuff you know you shouldn't, staying up late, sweating through everything you own. You know you shouldn't. And whatever your body has been quietly dealing with all year, it shows up. The fatigue hits different in the heat. Recovery takes longer than it should. You're exhausted after stuff that used to feel easy. And instead of asking why, most of us just go, hmm, and keep going. But having it handled is not the same as knowing what's going on. Function gives you 160 plus lab tests a year. We're talking about magnesium, iron, hormones, all the markers that actually explain why you feel, the way you feel. When something's off, you see it. Not guess at it. Not cope with it. You see it. And that's what actually knowing your body looks like. Wild concept, I know. So check your health the way that we do. 160 plus lab tests a year for $365. That's a dollar a day. And stop guessing. Join at functionhealth.com slash flagrant and use the code flagrant25 for a $25 credit. Now let's get back to the show. Bluetooth did it, bro. They did it. They did it. They did it. They upgraded. They got Bluetooth Gold. That bonus come in 15 minutes or less. I could tell you all the info about it. It doesn't really matter to you. What matters to you is that you're hard in 15 minutes or less. All the other stuff we're talking about like 30 minutes. A lot can happen in 30 minutes. A lot can happen. You don't even know if you're getting laid 30 minutes before you're getting laid. Right? So now you're taking this pill. You don't even know what's going to happen. 15 minutes before you get laid, you know 100% you're getting laid. So they did it. They knocked it out of the park. So that's what you're going to do all summer. You're very welcome. You buy two months of Bluetooth Gold. You get the third for free with the promo code flagrant. That promo code is flagrants. And you're also going to receive an additional 10% off free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the pod and the bedroom. For 125 years, Nordstrom has been partnering with Bluetooth Gold. Part of your story. These are the moments that make Nordstrom, Nordstrom. I thought the Knicks was going to win the championship in 94. Just think, I'm the only person in the whole Texas prison. That's going for the Knicks. Are they playing the game? Yeah, we're watching the game on TV. And I am, we was doing well and then we wasn't. And I remember when Houston won and I'm coming into the cafeteria. It's like I knew something was up. Because the cafeteria is always loud. It's like the cafeteria is quiet. Because they know what you're going through. No, they're waiting on me. It's totally quiet. And I come around the corner and as soon as I walk into the cafeteria, I'm like, even the people that were lying with me, they were just oddly quiet. Like, you're always talking. Why are you just so quiet right now? Waiting to get into this cafeteria. It was like a celebration. Because you were suffering. Man, it was crazy. They knew how much shit you were going to talk. Oh, I was talking so reckless. I was talking. But it's the same like that with the Cowboys. In the 90s, I hated the Cowboys. I still hate the Cowboys. But when they would win, Cowboy fans, it was terrible. But when they would lose, I had so many shenanigans. So satisfying. This is when you know that you got mad about something. When you locked up and they ruined somebody. And you tell somebody, well, why don't you send Troy Aikman a commissary slip so he can send you some money since you love him so much. Like, you stumped us. You know that's not going to happen. But you're just so mad, man. What were the politics with watching sports in prison? Was there ever a situation where it's like, okay, these two games are on right now. And one group gets to decide which game is watched. And you think that we have cable? It's one game that was ever playing on local TV. That's what you guys watch. Fair enough. Fair enough. And when you were in. Block, where they have three TVs in different parts. They have two TVs in each part. So it's three TVs. Three parts, three TVs. One TV is designated for Hispanics. That's their TV. Telemundo, that's it. Then you have sports and all types of general stuff. But then you have the movie TV, like people watching regular TV. Now, the crazy thing is Denise Austin would be on all three TVs in the morning. She's what? Like a news reporter or something like that? No, she's a. She's a rovic instructor. Hilarious. And then we couldn't wait till Kyle and they came on. It's the only time that you see all the black in the end watching Kyle and they were in the. No, there's no scene. We're going to affirm up the front of your thighs, the outer thighs, back of our thighs, and your inner thighs. All of those are shared. Just imagine a bunch of dudes in the morning watching this. Not one of them doing aerobics. Not one of us doing aerobics. This is the greatest white woman of all time in prison. This is the greatest white woman. This is a savior in prison. And this is recent. This is not really her most exotic outfit. This is tame? Yeah, this is very tame. She's not even. She's not even all the way tan just yet. You knew Denise's seasons? Yeah, but this Denise Austin was crazy. Oh, see? Okay. Trying to tell you. Okay, yeah, yeah. Trying to let you see the tan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See that dark pink outfit? Golden locks. Just getting the tide coming in. I wonder if she knew how popular she was in prison. Goodness, she probably never did. But Denise Austin was. I'm facing. Look how he's sitting. He's getting flashbacks right now. It's insane. It's like, if you didn't. I forget. I remember we was on lockdown one time, and the TV came on, and the CO came in and changed it from Denise Austin, and we lost it. Why'd he change it? We locked up. Just being me. Oh, wow. He put it on C-SPAN. Like, he's like, "Yo, we want to kill him. This was every morning? Yeah, man. Just because it was on the local channel? Yeah, this channel ate. Wow. PBS, they didn't even saw something that was insane. That's so funny. But would there ever just be random stuff on the TV? Like, it would be like a high school basketball championship, and you're like, alright, we're watching this now. High school basketball championship? I mean, this ain't LeBron era. They wasn't showing no high school. Yeah, you're doing like, you got the news. I imagine there's some sitcoms, though. You probably watch. Yeah, sitcoms. We watch that type of stuff, but did you just say, I don't know you. I'm 29. Oh, no, that's why you think high school was televised. That happened with LeBron. It was never a high school game ever watched on television before. What about, like, in Texas, a high school football championship game? Not even that? That's not coming on TV. Because that was huge. Wow. Wow. You gotta go view that. You know, we was under that type of regime. You would view things with your naked eye. Unlike people now. You know, we spent a significant amount of money on these shows to do yonder. Oh, because you don't want people on their phone. We don't want people on their phone. So you do that for every show? Every show. Every show that you do on the road you're yondering. Have you found a difference? Yeah. Really? People pay attention until you get to, like, I think I've had doing a thing, the worst thing about it is how people are conditioned to comedy now. You know, they condition to people doing crowd work. They're conditioned to having, um, seeing eight people before you come out. You know, they're conditioned to these things. So they show up, like, and then you have people who don't know you. They come in with somebody else or whatever so they don't know that you do. These long stories with these points and then they come and they are they conditioned to people doing their old stuff in front of new ones. I would figure your audience by now is conditioned to, like, what you do. Nah. Really? It's still because the audience is still building. A lot of these people haven't seen me live. So they see one story on social media or something. They're like, I gotta go check. And what's the craziest thing? This is the other thing that I think people are conditioned crazy for. It's people that have seen me on TikTok. It's people that have seen me on Instagram. People have seen me on Facebook. But they don't know there's a whole special. Because they watching clips. That is how most media is consumed now. And not watching the whole special, which is crazy to me. It's crazy. I saw this, but you didn't see the whole story. So I don't I don't get, or somebody will comment in a space. And they don't know the whole story. You don't know the whole entire thing. You just comment on just this right here. Which is I don't know. I guess humans are declining at a rapid rate with their attention span. I think that's possibly, I think it's definitely true. I also think that is like the one, I don't want to say downfall, but like the one potential negative to having stuff on the different social media platforms is you don't know how long they're going to consume of it. And you don't know what parts of it they're going to consume. Whereas like when we were younger, like I remember when Patrice's Elephant in the Room came out and like we had like a watch party for this shit. Like we just sat down and watched it. Like I remember you know, even like listening to Delirious on cassette. And it was just like this one experience where we just sat down, me and my dad, and we just like listened to this audio cassette. It was social. Yeah. So there so I think now like maybe there is a version. This really surprises me coming from you. Because I think you have such a specific style. I would think that there would be an expectation set up with the audience for that. Long form story, especially as you're doing the specials, like there's going to be a cohesive theme in this. Like that's shocking to me that there, or maybe you're growing at a rate where you have so many new people coming in. It's the new people. That's probably it. Your OGs know what you're doing and they have the expectation for it. I can tell them because it's the people that's on time. These people know that I got one person that's coming out in front of me doing 15 or 20 and then I'm coming to do an hour and a half. I think that this is something that's kind of like missed a bit. Like when we do the show, I think everybody has to decide what that amount of time is. But for me, I think that like hour 15, maybe hour 30 I think is like a real nice amount of time. But I mean that for the whole show. Like if you're doing an hour 30, I think it's smart you don't have four guys going in before you because by the time you go up, these people, let's say they're already drinking or doing something like that, they're an hour into the show and then you're going to do another hour 30. I don't think that's the best experience for the people that came. Certain places, I do by myself. Like when I come to New York, when I'm at the Beacon, it's just me. No other person. You know, when I'm in Atlanta, just me. Detroit, it's like Chicago, just me. Certain spots, I'm just doing just me because I want the whole entire time. Now, when I have somebody, it's crazy for them. Let me say the last three, four shows, right? I witnessed somebody coming in like I was in Miami. How do you come in and I'm and I look at the clock. I just look at the clock. I'm at 57 minutes. How do you come in at a show and I'm at 57 minutes? But in your mind, you think oh, it's going to be other people and then we'll catch him at the end. Somebody came, hey, I'm 45 minutes in and they in the front. I have the room dark, pitch black with a spotlight for a reason. Not because I want to. I don't want to be distracted by people with all of movement. I want the room totally still like a play because I'm not doing slapstick form. I'm not doing punchline set up punchlines. That's not what I'm doing. So I'm doing I'm taking people on another ride. So I have to have the full attention. So I lock the phones up. But don't I wouldn't like undercut yourself. You do have a lot of punchlines and you do have a lot of jokes. It's not there are certain people who I think you're not doing in a traditional like here's my setup misdirect. But you're not one of the guys that doesn't have jokes built in. And I think, yeah, I just don't want you to describe yourself in a way that's maybe not not as elite. I think is as you are. There are guys who are doing long form and it's kind of like stand up, but also like storytelling. And there's a lower expectation for funny. I think for that when I when I see some people's what they call storytelling, I just be sitting there like and again, it's like I'm not I'm not trying to knock anybody, but it's like there is a way to tell stories and also have them be hilarious. Yeah. I can't figure that part out. I think so. Have you ever had someone interrupt in a moment of the story that's really important for tension? Like, have you ever like been building up specifically and you're like, I'm about to come into like this really important part and then someone fucks it up. I feel like it happened in the special that one lady that called out. Yeah. She was she was being this. What was that? Mondays, right? She was being disruptive before I even got to it. So I it wasn't even it had nothing to do with what I was doing. She was drunk and got into it with her husband. Oh, wow. So in this while we're taping a special come on, I went back and started over from where I was. I was at. Oh, really? Put that clip out. You didn't see it in this in the actual special, but we put that clip out because I wanted to keep it. I'm like, yo, keep that part. Just content. But I've had the the spotlight guy mess up. What happened? You got one job, bro. Like what? Like one job. I think he was too engulfed in the story and forgot and not thinking I'm a move. We thinking like he just like he just took his hand off and like, what is it? And then when I went over here and I stopped him like, yo, I need you over here for this part. I was listening. This is your fault. So it's been, you know, it's been times where or somebody would try to hollow out something before I would say it. Right. But you don't know what I'm going to say. You don't know the story. So and I would say, no, that's nothing. And then I, you know, sometimes I stop and just I don't like doing crime work, but I'm very, very good. I've been good at it from me. I want it. I'm going to do us. I'm going to do a show what I'm going to show and I'm going to call it. This is so easy. It's the easiest thing. It's like if I come out doing crime work, that means I don't want to perform right. Like I have like in my mind, I don't want to do it. So I'm like, all right, but you shouldn't do it if you don't want to know. This is the thing of how easy this is like when When I used to host, you know, coming out i know i'm gonna say this but i'm not really getting into no material because i'm i'm setting the room up for somebody else it's not for me right right i'm saying but i can see how these these guys like man um this crowd where i say so this is funny that the crowd work guys nobody is blaming anybody for stealing their material because what is the what is the what is the material so y'all together yeah yeah well you work at yeah yeah i know y'all messing around like it all starts the same it's no unique way to do it look at this shirt what is the so nobody's still this is nobody's okay i would love to see the dude come back in the room like i asked him what his shirt looked like first yeah yeah i hear you look at him look at him out there stealing material asking people what they work at yeah he did my how'd you guys meet thing yeah i will say that like guys who guys like patrice is a very different type of in my opinion crowd work because it's not like hey what do you guys got going on it's i'm gonna impose my will and my line of thinking on you and you are a vessel for that right so it's like you might actually be giving me friction right and that is a useful tool within this design like this is how i feel about it and i'm like i'm gonna impose my will and my line of thinking on you i feel about the world and i'm putting it on you you work at a car dealership like okay who gives a fuck if you work at the car dealership you know what i mean but i think there are different i think you see a lot of like crowd work slop on the internet and you're just like what the fuck is going on here but like when i think of when i think of like you know guys who are like really good and like elite at it it's this interesting way of like almost like setting up the audience and like baiting them into something that kind of already exists dl is nice at it dl was the dl was the pinnacle of it him robin harris and they would get ridiculed for all they got his crowd work right so this is the another era of this of comedy of this like and who else was good at it was was um joe tory he was saying joe tory was good at was good at crowd work but that was that was the the the ridicule was all they had was crowd work so they developed a long show but dl dl would take the last 10 minutes of his show and he would do the whole front row and just mess with people and the craziest thing that he would take all these people go through all this stuff and then tie the last one into the first one and you'd be like that's that's a it's amazing that's magical watch there's levels to shit that's what i'm saying like there's levels of storytelling there's levels to all different parts of the craft and i think the most like elite versions you start to like blend all these things together and when it becomes this like seamless blend you know like for example like impressions like i love like hearing impressions i think it's like i like if you did an impression right now i'd be like tell me more keep doing it but i don't i'm like i don't like consider it like elite stand-up like it's you know what i mean it's just like a sound you know you don't listen to that what but so my this is my i'm glad you said it because but let me say go ahead if you can do the impressions and there's a joke in the impression or you're creating this like this amazing world where there are these like like grier barnes is one of my favorite to watch and he can build these worlds i'm like the impression is just a tool in this fucking magical thing that you just built for these people that to me i'm like okay let's stand up but if you're on one of these like cruise ships or something like that or you go see these like you know and it's just like here's what bill clinton sounds like here's what christopher walken sounds like here's what trump sounds like it's like if i hear another fucking trump impression it's like so the impression thing to me if you're doing impressions of somebody that i don't know and you can you can get me engulfed in it like you say you're doing your uncle i've never heard your uncle before and then you do an impression of it then later on i actually do an impression of it and then i do an impression of it and i'm like oh my god it's like you're doing it on your uncle i'm like yo he had it spot he had his uncle spot on yes but if you're doing denzel from training day exactly it's like i hate you yeah it's like denzel was in a lot of movies why is it just why is this the only one of you doing this i'm not even upset if you do denzel on training day but like what is the bit what is the joke it's just you doing denzel and training day or you doing burning man it's like when somebody does jay-z and they do what's wrong with current jay-z i ain't doing jay-z what's wrong with current jay-z i ain't doing jay-z what's wrong with current jay-z i ain't doing jay-z what's wrong with current jay-z i ain't heard jay-z do that i heard him do that laugh like but twice yeah you know like but jay-z never said nothing else yeah it's like you you you keeping them in this frame because that's the only like ll when the last time that ll licked his lips it was like why is that the girl i mean i'm watching more um in it what's the show that you're on i watched him on csi he never licked his lips on there yeah yeah so it's like you it's it's like you kind of it's like you cheating the game you're saying it's like there's almost like a shared impression it's everybody doing the same joke like i see everybody doing an impression of shane's trump yeah like shane gillis did this trump impression and it kind of feels like everybody's just doing their version of his impression and that's and that's one of the things that's so important to me is that you're that's one of the downfalls in stand-up that being original in stand-up has become non-existent because somebody see this is the thing you can recreate so much quicker because you're seeing things on the internet constantly it's but the desire though the desire to do to see you make it so you make it as something you get it you get some followers or something you go viral or something that doesn't my desire is not to do to re-create it as something you get it you get some followers or something you go viral or something you create what you did in the in my in my voice oh it's that's uh man ollie we're gonna have a long discussion about this my friends because not everybody's desire is to do great art some people's desire is just to be successful at a thing and then they see what's successful and they just repeat what is successful and that's the that's the crazy coming from being a this is how i know that these guys are not students of comedy because there was one carol burnett there was one don rickles there was one carol burnett there was one don rickles there was one don rickles there was one carlin there was one um um prior there was one cosby nobody was saying i'm gonna do my rendition of red fox i'm doing my own i'm doing my own thing and everybody had their own voice and they made their voice they made their their their bones and their voice now when i can sit back and you sound just like this person are you doing this person you're doing exactly what they did yeah i'm saying and it may be the i'm the old man in the group that don't like yo what is what okay when do you find your voice when do you find who you are takes time i mean you probably went through that takes time to find it but the thing is like i'm not in a rush i wasn't in a rush i just had that i guess because i started with about to be 29 years for me and then doing stand-up so how i started is different even the level of respect is different there's a thing that's happened i think that and the internet has probably like expedited this but when i was coming up in stand-up all the best guys maybe outside of like a few outliers were old there were guys in their probably 40s 50s like these were older you know i'm starting in my 20s so the expectation when i was starting was it takes 10 years to even know your voice that was the thing like comics would always say when you ask advice right be like well how do i find my voice i'm like i don't know my voice or whatever it is i'm like your voice essentially is like what is unique about you and what you want to talk about and like why are you different yeah and i think what's happened with the internet is like it not only with comedy which is like fucking seeing people on vacation it just looks like everybody's living this great life and i think i'll you'll hear a lot of comics are like oh i gotta do crowd work to make it's like you don't gotta do nothing you could just do what you want to do find your like why are you sad like why are you whining you see all these comics one like oh i gotta do crowds you don't gotta do nothing if you don't want to do that don't do it if you do want to do it then do it this is last night i gotta i gotta go on i gotta go on tour like what is a tour i think a lot of comics are sad and judging their career based upon things that's not really happening oh what do you mean by that oh so let's dive into it and i do this and i do this subconsciously when i look at somebody doing something and i just say well let me see actually what it is that's really happening not for myself to explain this to somebody who i know that's gonna come to me and talk about well i gotta go on tour and then i was like well like who like give me a person and then they would give i would look at people like well okay so let me give you a person you think this person's on tour because they put up a bunch of dates okay put up a bunch of dates but you didn't read these dates you didn't read what these dates were at you know what i'm saying so somebody just going on bars just all bars it's really just really mics yeah glorify old mike and they're doing different places going to do anything they put it on their schedule okay then you had these guys who put all these tour dates up and then i'm i'm thinking i'm supporting a friend let me go see what they're doing i go to the club that they're doing yeah and it's not their name it's somebody else's name opening but they're opening for the person but they put that on as their tour dates right i'm saying or somebody have a bunch of one-nighters and they putting it on as a tour i get it man the the fake it till you make it thing but that's not a tour touring is a lot different than what my boy he got a delay got a very good understanding of what touring was did they like yo i i was i went out with this person and i sat in that city for three days and i did the comedy club with him yeah then i went on the road with ali we did four different places in three days yeah i'm exhausted yeah i was like oh so you thought i was staying here yeah no i'm in chicago then i'm in cleveland then i'm in pittsburgh right and we doing we have a side check and we have a run and then we back downstairs at 3 30 to go catch another flight and he's like oh no no this is insane he said i slept for two days after i was i was yeah i'm like yeah because it's not the same you you're trying touring and i and i'm like well how long you've been doing and that lady told me six years i said what are you rushing for yeah like what's the rush you you thinking well the class of comics that i'm i mean what's this class of like the feeling is that you see your peers and they're excelling and maybe they're something is working for them on social media so like you need to do it right in that moment as well and i think there's a little bit something is lost now that we had maybe when i definitely had when i was younger i'm sure you also had it which is like this is a marathon of a career and it's going to take you a long time to achieve your dreams i mean i was doing comedy 17 years before i did madison square garden you know what i mean like 17 years and i've been doing it 29 years i think i think you got a garden man i think you easily got a garden in you oh how many people we know i mean there's a couple different arrangements you can get 18 000 in there man well hopefully all right guys take a break for a second according to cnbc nearly half of hiring managers say a candidate's enthusiasm about the job is the most important factor when considering them for a role well if you need to hire for your business how can you separate the candidates who are really excited about your opportunity from the ones that are just meh zip recruiters how you're going to do that zip recruiters zip recruiter has a new feature that quickly lets you see the most interested qualified candidates first so you meet the right people faster and now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash flagrant zip recruiters new feature puts the most interested qualified candidates at the top of your list zip recruiter smart matching technology connects you with the qualified candidates instantly no wonder zip recruiters the number one rated hiring site based on g2 use zip recruiter and find a candidate that's going to be the most interested in you and the most interested in you enthusiastic talent fast four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first try and now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash flagrant that's ziprecruiter.com slash flagrant meet your match on zip recruiter all right guys for years protein bars have been the quick go-to snack you want that protein boost but finding one that delivers real protein without excess calories and sugar has been nearly impossible most bars contain around 15 grams of protein while packing 300 plus calories and loads of sugar that formula stayed the same for decades until now introducing david a protein bar that redefines what's possible david delivers 28 grams of protein and just 150 calories with zero sugar david is giving your body what it actually needs without the unnecessary fillers and they are now available at walmart with 40 percent more protein 50 percent fewer calories than the leading protein bars david offers a superior science-backed protein boost that doesn't compromise on taste david it's not just another protein bar david is the future of protein perfect for the gym on the go or anytime you want maximum efficiency from your nutrition listeners can buy four cartons and get the fifth for free at davidprotein.com slash flagrant or you can find david nationwide at walmart near you be sure to check out the four packs of salted peanut butter and blueberry pie exclusively sold in walmart stores now let's get back to the show this episode is brought to you by nordstrom for 125 years nordstrom has been part of your story the stylist who found the perfect outfit for your big interview the first pair of walking shoes for your one-year-old the tomato soup you shared with your sister at the cafe these are the moments that make nordstrom nordstrom big or small we're here for all of it celebrating 125 years with new moments still ahead discover it all in nordstrom stores and at nordstrom.com anyway the point being is like there's different iterations of it sure but like there it feels like there's this immense pressure that like especially young comics have to do what is working not do what they should be doing and what would make them feel fulfilled comedically and i don't maybe we didn't have that because there was less opportunities when we were coming up there was a lot of opportunities nah it was what's the opportunity that was that's now that we're coming up with a lot of opportunities we didn't have then the internet that's it that's the biggest opportunity like this is the greatest thing most of the greats didn't start on the internet by by by opportunities i meant like there was exit there was a few hbo specials maybe a year you had like a handful of comedy central half hours that wasn't the goal for some people no for you it was a mass majority of comics that wasn't the goal the goal was to be great comedians because you can make a lot of money before the special you can make a lot of money it was people that i saw in comedy clubs that were making i'd never seen them on tv i saw them in the comedy club so this is the expectation was different that people was actually going to the the the the club built the market like you know that to get in this club you had to be funny so everybody i was going to see was gonna be was gonna be funny it's not like now to where now with whoever being marketed yes the club has no i'm saying that we just try and sell some liquor and some chicken wings right whatever this person is doing whoever whatever audience they're bringing in here i don't care if it's a magician i don't care what it but it's like some clubs just wasn't opening their doors for people that weren't elite and these are the clubs that to this day are the best clubs in the country yeah and that's the thing they built a community they have an audience and there's like comedy works in denver is one like salt lake city wise guys like side splitters in tampa there's one in that i'm messing up with right now but like in um in wisconsin what comedy on state comedy on state on state there's one in alabama star dome or whatever do you ever do that i've done the star dome star dome like so there were these like iconic clubs that the club curated great talent so people could expect to go see it and then there were these like iconic clubs that the club curated great talent so people could expect to go see it and then there was the factories that essentially just like i'm bringing somebody to fill the whole room and next week nobody might be in this room these people aren't coming for the brand of the venue they're just a venue it's like and and i get it but then you like well i came up in just joking comedy cafe in houston to come to just joking you had to have it because the host had it you gotta think the same host every night no over the over the different years the host like you had arnett j was one of the hosts then you had lester bids was one of the hosts then you had um bruce was one earthquake was one it's like the host set the tone like man you can't come in here and the host is crazy yeah and to get on this stage man you gotta be you gotta have it and i remember sitting like i'm just joking one of my fondest memories because rodney is god named rodney winfield he a great comic um out of st louis uh wore a sailor's cap and uh i'm talking about really really good comic and he would sit on the edge of the bar and when you would come off stage if he liked you he would say something to you you know i'm saying yeah man he's on deaf and red rodney was like yeah man and you gotta hear his voice because i'm feeling like i'm gonna do it this is this is this is my favorite like i don't do a lot of impressions but this was right and you would you would get off the stage and if he liked you he would say something to you you come off stage and he's like i didn't even take something and take something tonight you are horrible and then you would you would hit every night i remember the night that i got a compliment from him the night i got a compliment okay i came off stage he's like about goddamn time you i'm talking about man tonight you are amazing i'm talking about everything you did was perfect it was stellar one problem got one problem i'm like what i did all that shit in 1974 then get your own goddamn bar oh that's a good impression scary they didn't have a nurse in the show with white vote oh they'd be passing out oh the devil niggas in there eating popcorn get the devil bitch But Rodney, his most famous joke, he was on the movie Talking Dirty at the Talk with Martin and all of them. It was a great movie, a black movie. You should see it. It makes me cry when I think about it. It's not Armageddon. It ain't Armageddon, bro. It's a black Armageddon. When it's about ugly people, it's about ugly people all running the same, you know. You follow an ugly person home, I guarantee another ugly person's going to have to do it. But, man, he would just rip you every time if he liked you because he wanted you to get better. You know, you don't have that experience in stand-up anymore. But it's comics that are out now that will stay. That I told them that they was terrible. And I did. When they was young, I was like, yo, man, that's the worst damn thing I ever seen. But I'm trying to get you. If you think that you good at three years, your career not going to be as long as you think it is. Because you think that there's no other place to go. I say, like, Ali, how many of you do say, when did you know you was funny? I say, I'm still trying. Mm-hmm. Because I don't know. I'm still trying to get better. I'm still, I'm like, not that I support him all the time, because he be on bullshit sometimes. I'm like Floyd Mayweather. He still go to train. And as a boxer, you start the same way. It's no, you don't go in and start over. You start jabbing. You do the same warm-up. Steph Curry, I'm still shooting. There's many others. Jordan, Kobe still working out the same way. Even after having championships, after having rings. Yeah. If you're already satisfied with what you are. Yeah, you can't. You'll never get, you'll never get, somebody told you that you was great at eight years? Wow. There's a, wow. I think that one of the tricky things now with early success in any endeavor, but definitely in stand-up, is that sometimes the audience can decide who you are before you get to find out who you are. And then, and that was one of the advantages that we definitely have, which is like, just do stand-up in obscurity for years. So you'll have a choice whether to find out who you are. And then hopefully by the time the audience finds you, you're kind of solidified in who you are, what you want to do, how you want to push yourself. And that's harder. That's, that's hard. Like if you're three years in and like the whole world is coming for you and they want to see it, there's probably an expectation built up in you to go. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to deliver them this. And I think, I don't know, at least for me, like one of the things I've always tried to do is like every time I did something, I want to do something different the next time. And it scares me and I think I suck at it initially when I start. And I'm like, okay, that's good. At least I'll work hard on this and try to get better instead of trying to like repeat the thing that I just did before. But that's my own little, you know. I remember when I, when I was in the clubs, I was doing, if I do six shows, I'm doing six shows. Six different shows. That's just insane. I hate it when they tell me these things. No, that's just the, then I would do the specials. I would get ready to start doing the specials and I would have to run it. But I'm already on tour, so I'm saying it everywhere. And it would, it would just irritate me that I would have to do the same show. Oh, really? You got to, you got to run it. And I would explain to people how better I am when I'm not running the same thing. Just let me think about it. Know that it has to happen. And then when we get ready to shoot the special, then I'll be ready. But you didn't run it. You got to run it. So I didn't run, I ran Domino Effect, the first one. I didn't run two. I never, I never ran two. Like at all, period. I did it that day. I didn't run three. I ran four in pieces, but I never ran it all together. My father, I never ran it. This is the most recent one, the scary coming out. My father, I never ran. My two sons, I didn't run. I ran rugged. I didn't run Monday. I didn't run Mondays. And out of all those specials, I only wrote one down was the first domino effect. Wow. Is there, but isn't there a part of you that like when you're quote unquote running it, you're finding other jokes in it, you're finding other things in it. Like naturally you talk about a topic with your buddies for a month, you're going to find other angles. You're going to get a deeper understanding of how you feel about it. Like, don't you find value? And that's when I, that's when I was doing six different shows because I'm going out and I'm talking from different perspectives of what you would touch on similar topics. At least they would just be different. And that's where you're starting to organize the thoughts. Oh, now the thoughts. Got it. Okay. It's not just, I'm going to go up and talk about something I've never talked about before. You might have hit it from different angles, but upon taping, you're like, this is the fleshed out version after touching these topics for a while. Yeah. But with like with. The domino effects, I never had to run it because they couldn't, I, it was nothing else for me to find in it because I was telling the story, you know what I'm saying? So with, with my father, I mean, with, with my two sons, nobody could help me with it. Cause I'm just telling the story about what's happening with me and my two sons. Not help you with it. You help yourself. Like you tell me something for a month, by the end of the month, I know you, you're going to have 20 other jokes about it. That's the thing. I just wanted to tell their story. And I'm just telling the story. I'm just telling the story. And I think that's the elevation and the wealth of information that I'm giving them. I'm giving them a different experience in life than what I had. And as a parent, I think that's what my job is. I've never in the history of me been on vacation with my dad or with my parents. The first time I ever went on vacation with my mom, I'm the one taking her with my family. And we're going on this vacation because I want to experience this as an adult being out on vacation with my mom. And my mom, and I got mad at my mom because she was, I would be looking for my aunts there, right? My aunt, and this is another special that I don't want to give too much away because this is another special that I shot. I know you're going to hate this. You want me to tip something off? And I know you're going to hate this, right? So. So I'm doing this show in Tysons, in Tysons, Virginia. I can't wait until you paralyze your esophagus and you can't talk for two years. And I'm going to call you on FaceTime like you just got back to the fucking banquet hall in prison and the Knicks lost. So we shot four specials in two days. Wow. And the family vacay, family vacay is my favorite one. Family vacay is insane because I'm, it's this story about when I broke my clavicle and I'm on vacation. I got all of my, my family with me. And so in the, what happened, I didn't even put this in the measure, but what happened, my aunt and my sister are on vacation, Jack. Do you understand what I'm saying? They are vacationing. Like I'm saying my sister, my sister's hardback riding. She's with my aunt. Like it is a lot of. Margaritas. It is. Folks are kicking it. Yeah. And I'm like, yo, where my mom? And my aunt like, in the hotel room watching Lifetime? I'm enraged. I'm enraged. Like, man, we in Cabo. We had this very nice resort. It's very, very nice. And I spent all this money and you are in the house watching Lifetime. Doing the same shit you would do back home, man. I am enraged. Go up to the room, I'm like, yo, man, what's going on with you? My mom has on an outfit that she bought from the gift shop. My mom got dressed up to watch Lifetime. I was like, yo, man, are you crazy right now? It's like, I'm going to come out there. I just, I just, you know, want to finish watching this. Yo, I want to have them people take this TV out of here. You became your parent. Yeah. I'm going to request. You just became the parent, though. I'm going to request them to take the TV out, man. Take the TV out. I'm going to steal the batteries for the remote or something. Something's got to happen. You need to enjoy the sun, yo. Like, what are we doing? And then she came out there and she did something with my son. They ate pizza or something by the beach. But he got sand. Like, he's been on the beach. He got sand all in his pizza. Like, I like to see my family having a good time. Yeah. Like, I think that's what I worked. For them to have your man do whatever and I don't want to make no decisions when I'm like, when I when I go on vacation, I want another another podcast. The guy asked me about my mental health. Like, how do you maintain the vacation? And when I go on vacation, yo, July through the second week of August, I am off and you talk about if you ran into me, you would you wouldn't even think I was a comedian. And that's how off I am. Like, I don't want to talk about comedy. I don't want to. I introduce you. I do. I see you knowing you and know that you do. I introduce you as my name in order. Hey, how you doing? I'm Sadiq. I see Ali. How you doing? You know, I was like, I don't even want you to know that I do stand up. Like, get away from me. Like, I don't even want to hear anything about. Oh, I saw you. I saw you on this. Like, I act like I'm not even that person. Nope. Like, what? Interesting. I said. I mean, a lot of people tell me I look like him. Yeah. And Tory Lanez. I get a mystical every once in a while. You don't want that. I'm like, I don't want Tory Lanez. I don't want it. I'm like, why you keep comparing me to criminals? So I remember this lady talking about, do you see the resemblance? You resemble Prince to me. I was like, no, no. Ma'am, you reaching. What are you drinking, man? Because I want it. You are reaching. Wait, so you're going someplace in July then? Oh, what? Where are you going? Oh, man. See, you're trying to give up my location. I'm going. We're going three different places. And man, I am. It's water, water, then a hot place. Water, water, then a hot place. And I am so ready. Can you give a continent? Are you going central, south? Backpack. Oh, wow. Like, I don't want to have anything but a backpack. Like, yo, I want all my pictures. They look at all my pictures. Like, yo, he had on the same suit. Watch him out. When I went to sleep. Like, man, I'm trying to go have me some fun. Do you leave your phone or you bring your phone with you? For only for information. Like, I don't post anything. Like, I be out, bro. Like, I don't want to. I don't want to be a part of what's going on. Like, I just want to be a part of a vacation. I don't want to make no decisions. I don't want to be on the schedule. Oh, we got to go to lunch at this time. No, y'all go. I don't want to do that. I want to. Because that's not a vacation. It's like, if you start scheduling things, hey, man, it's like, I don't want to do none of that. Yeah, that's a job you pay for. I want to randomly walk out and hit some guy and eat something strange. You know, we got a guano. Yeah. I'll try. Like, I don't want to stick. What's one of the, like, more interesting or weird places you ever want on vacation? I think all the places are pretty normal. We got kids. But, you know, the Cabo. But I know, you know who's waiting on me because they know that I'm coming? Turks and Caicos. Turks know that I'm coming. Turks? Yeah, Turks and Caicos. They know for facts that they're going to see me at their fish fry. Yeah. And they wait on it. They're like, there you go again. I've been to Turks, man. I'm going to Turks, bro. Yeah. And I'm going to kick it. Yeah. It's two different resorts that we stay at. And I'm going to kick, man. Turks. Yo, man, I want somebody to find me in the road and step over me. He's like, yo, there's nobody there. Do you adventure, though? Or are you trying to, like, jet ski and stuff? I've jet skied before in the States. Jet skiing. I remember one time we was at, what, Cabo St. Lucas? No. Where was we at? Wherever we was at, they was like, yo, don't go this way because that's the drug dealer route. Just jet ski this way, right? So we jet skied and me and my son, we finding puffer fish and all that. And the waves, something happened. Like, I saw the shift. And I was like, yo, I saw it. We got to go. And he's in front of me. And it went from like this to. Yo. And I'm like that. And my son holding on like, ah, he's terrified. He's terrified. I'm like, yo, my son, do you understand? This is, because I can swim, I think that I can get out of anything because I can swim. Which is insane. Like, it doesn't matter how crazy the waves are. Because I can swim. You cannot tell me that I'm going to die because I'm just not. I remember when Jaden was little, he was in Miami. And Miami had this crazy storm. And the waves literally were coming up and tossing my daughter so far up on the beach. And she's like four. And she's running right back into the water. And this is my ideology. She's not going, nothing's going to happen because I'm out further than her. And I'm going to be able to get to her no matter what. So she went under, under this wave. And then the wave came up and I didn't see her. So boom, I'm in action. Boom, gone. And then I can't find her. But the wave threw her to the other end. And she's just standing there like, no, I'm down here. Because you don't realize that the ocean just moves you. Oh, man. But because I can swim, you cannot. Like when I broke my clavicle. I'm in the water. And my mind is, this is crazy. I thought my neck was broke. And I was like, because I heard all this cracking. But in my mind, I can swim. You know, all those people who have drowned also could swim. They think they can swim. They think they can swim until something's happening. And they don't know. They're like, yo, you're not as efficient as you think you are. You're trying to, you're trying to. You're trying to, what is it called? Crawl stroke. It's a breaststroke. when you're in the water. Breaststroke frog kick. You trying to, like, what you got going on? You got to hear him. You got to get to the point. If you drown, then you might not know what you're doing. You might know what you're doing. Ollie, you're talking like you just learned how to swim. Yes, it's a hurricane. Who cares? It's a breaststroke frog kick. But the thing is, why would I think I was going to drown? I have been swimming since I was five. Yeah. And my mom didn't even know. It's a story in the thing. Well, I got pushed in the pool. And it's not like I could swim at that time because I'd never taken swimming lessons. I got pushed in the pool. And because my mother told me that I shouldn't have been on that side of the pool. Yeah. When I got pushed in, she was coming down the steps. And I was so scared of my mama that I just swam across. Like, I just got out the water. And my mama got down there and she was like, you better get out of that pool before I got down here. I was like, because I shouldn't have been over there. So that's how you learn how to swim. But man, I'm like, no, I'm efficient in the water. I would love to see Noah walking around the village telling everybody, like, yo, listen, the flood is coming. Like, Ollie, we got to build this ship. And you just look at Noah like, I can swim, bro. What's the flood? Build a boat for what? I'm a boat. I'm a canoe. You're more scared of your mom than of dying. That's hilarious. For sure. For sure. But being a, when you can swim, it's just a certain confidence when you're around water that other people don't have. I know how I broke my clavicle. Because they, just think, just think this. It's a sign that says don't go in the water because it's choppy. And I looked at that sign and my mother looked at me and said, that means you. And I'm like, no, it doesn't. I can swim. And I'm literally out there. And I remember the first two days that I was walking around and people were pointing at me like, that's him right there. He be out there in the water. That's the swimming guy. And I'm like, I can swim. How'd you break the clavicle? Oh, man. This, this, um, this wave, bro. Yeah, it's not the water. There wasn't a wave. Because he can handle the water. Yeah, water you good with. No. Waves are so different. The wave was insane. Like, I'm, I'm literally, I'm coming, right? And I'm, I just came in. And this is how big this wave was. That my son said, dad, look at that wave. And this is how I looked up. I was like, oh. Yeah, when it's above you. And it came down and it slammed me and drug me along the beach. And that's how I broke my clavicle. Like, it, like, it was bad. And, and I'm, I'm, I, I, I hate to say this to people, but they, people, my family, no, I'm a little tougher than a lot of people. My ribs are broken. My clavicle is broken. My sternum is bruised. Like, I'm, I'm really, but I, I don't want to leave because they on vacation. And so I'm just toughing it, I'm just toughing it out. And I'm sleeping literally up against the wall in the room. Like, I, cause I'm like, something is wrong. And I was saying, I was like, yo, they put me in a sling. They put my arm in a sling. I was like, and the, the, the life goes like, yo, this is, this happens to me all the time. I used to be a bull rider. I'm like, nah, this is a little different. I can tell that this is different. I don't know what a bull riding is, but I know this is, something is bad, bro. So I'm in a sling, right? And, but I just know that it's something else. And I'm, I'm like, I was screwed up against the wall. And I'm like, sleeping. And I would wake up and it'd be, it'd be, it'd be hard to breathe, right? So I get on the plane, I come back. And I'm waiting for the MRI and all the rest of this. So I get the MRI and back in my day, they, they would just get your x-rays and you would never really see them. They just come tell you what's wrong with you. Now they blow you up on the screen. And it's like that lady find great pride in. Telling you why you fucked up. She had a pointing thing. She was like, so you see the circular thing. You see this right there? Yeah. That's your, that's your clavicle. And that's supposed to be here. It's totally, it's gone. And the tendon is gone. All that's gone. And I was like, so what's that? That's a black crack. Oh, those are, I was going to get to that. Those are your ribs. Those are like four breaks in your ribs. Like, yo, it's crazy. And I said, so what are you telling me about what we're going to do for the clavicle? I said, what are we going to do for my ribs? And she said, nothing. I said, man, that is not a medical term. Because, you know, they can't really do nothing. You got to let them heal on your own. So after that, I'm waiting on the surgery. I go back on the road. I'm still flying and doing shows. There's some people in Utah that probably think I got shot in the airport. Because I'm getting my bags, right? I'm getting my bag. And I'm rolling. I'm waiting on the car. And as I'm walking, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I got to sneeze. I know. And so I sneezed. And then I just laid down in the baggage claim. I just laid on the baggage claim. And white people are crazy. White people are like, who you got shot? So I had the surgery on a Tuesday. And then because I want to keep my word to this comedy club, who's closed now. They trying to stop me from being closed. So they insulted. Roll out two shows from coming out. And people are like, yo, he's never been in this club. He never said he was coming. And so I finally, they made a deal and I came. So I'm wanting to keep my word. I get on the plane the day after I have surgery. So I'm on the plane. I get there. So I come out. I got this huge, it's not the sling they gave me in Mexico. This is a huge thing with a ball on it. It's pressure upon my arm. It's crazy. So. As I'm doing the shows. And then the last show, this lady, I collapsed in the comedy club. I'm walking. And this lady said, great show. And I just went down. And this is after me telling the whole story about what happened. And this lady hit me right on it. I just collapsed to the floor. And I was like, yo, this is insane. And my ribs were still broke. And I'm like, and then when I look back on that whole ordeal, I'm like, why was I that dedicated to stand up? Like, like, why? Like, is it, is it, I must be crazy. And then now I look at my two sons, my two sons and Rugged. I had on some red Gucci loafers that I had on these cowhide boots. Nobody would believe that my toe was broke. My baby toe was broken. And while I'm doing these specials. Yeah. And. No one would even think it. It was like, yo, because I'm, because I'm not hobbling or nothing. I didn't tell the director, nobody until after it was over. And I took my boot off and my foot is, well, it was like, but I had all this numbing spray. They would be walking in. They didn't know I was spraying my foot. They thought I probably had athlete's foot. I was spraying all this numbness over my foot. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm ready. And then now I got a struggle to put this boot on. And I was like. So when I went out there, when I went out there, I would just be doing, doing my thing, just blocking it out. And I think my father wasn't nothing wrong with me on that one. And not even emotionally. We got to make sure, we got to make sure everybody goes and checks out my father, obviously. But before you go, I wanted to ask you if you saw the roast and what you think about it. Like you had brought up Rickles and you had brought up these guys who like, I think a lot of us watch them. We're like these iconic roasters. What did you think about the last one? I know there's been like a lot of controversy and stuff. Like what was your digestion? This is, this is my take on it. One, I did not see it. But here's my opinion. I did not. I did not watch the roast, but my opinion on the controversy that I heard, it's going to always be like that going forward if you're being roasted for industry, for industry event versus actual roast, which is like your friends, which is your friends. The Friars Club was a roaster, was friends. And when you watch the classic roast, all these people. They had a personal relationship with each other and they was friends. That is an industry thing. Now that's not an actual, the, the basis of a roast. So whatever controversy is coming from due to the, the, I'm not going to say the elevation, the decline of it being a personal thing versus it's being an industry showcase. But this didn't exist with the Tom Brady one. At least I didn't feel this much when I did it. When, when I watched y'all doing the Tom Brady jump, it was. it wasn't racially charged. Well, because Tom's white. Tom is white. And I hated him for that reason. And I hated him because he played for the Patriots. And I didn't think that it had this type of stigma around it. Like certain people were saying certain things. It was very sexual. Tom Brady. Yeah, Tom. That was very, very sexual. But it was like some things that it was like, in my mind, at some point, I was like, yo, it would have been some fights behind. Like if somebody would have said some of the things that was said, I was like, yeah. Because my whole thing was like, man, I'm going to see you after this. You are on the list. Ali will not be doing a roast anytime soon. Yeah, I would be more inclined to be roasted by people who I know. And then the people on the thing that I actually know. Because then there's never any concern about like malice. If you're saying something, I don't think that you have any malice towards me. So I'm taking it all in fun. It's like if I'm roasting you, I'm going to bring up superstition. You know that you're superstitious. So it's not going to be like, I can't believe he said that about me. Or if we've been on the road for 20 years together. Yeah. It's like seeing some guys in the army that are making like fucking horrible jokes about one another. It's like, yeah, but they've been in the trenches together. They don't even care what race each other are. Like these people literally put their fucking lives on the line. Do you understand? If we in war and you didn't have to drink each other's urine. You would call me cracker. You would call me whatever you want to call me. What's up with the pineapples? Yes. It's a different thing. This Hawaiian guy's pee takes credit. You know, because it's like you, man, you in a different mindset. This is things that people had to do for each other during times of war. When I go back, I like war movies. Now, if you want me to get choked up, now, I'll be watching the front. I'm like, yo, I can't believe they did that. He was like, he carried him. He blew his legs off. It's crazy. And again, like, you haven't watched it, but you think the response comes from like maybe a lack of camaraderie or like a built in relationship. Yeah. Where if it was that, you don't think it would be. I don't think that it would have been that at all. So it's not necessarily about the jokes. It's about like where they're coming from. Where they come from. And that's what the audience was consuming it. Yeah. So it's like Eminem and Dr. Dre are saying crazy shit to one another. You're like, yeah, these guys have known each other forever. Like, there's love there. Yeah. But got it. But strangers, it can always be taken in that way. Even if it's not meant that way. That's how the Internet could take it. Yep. If Drake say anything about anybody, it is definitely. You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm not. Drake, you say anything. Anything is a problem. Because you're from Canada. He's from Houston. He's from Houston. He's one of yours, man. No, he is not. All right. You got to get out of here. You got more stuff to do. Listen, we love you, brother. You are prolific. Keep up the great work, man. We will continue to support. All right, Sadiq, everybody, go check out my father. Endless summer escapes start here. Travel the worlds of Netflix IRL. Inspired by fan favorites like Stranger Things and Squid Game. Brave the upside down. Face off with the front man. Play leveled up arcade games. Shop exclusive merch. And enjoy themed food and drinks. Beat the heat. Play, eat, and shop on repeat at Netflix House at Galleria Dallas. Bring your crew and save. Get your tickets today at Netflix.com slash house. Fall is the perfect time to refresh and reorganize your space. At the Home Depot, find power tools and tool sets starting at $50 to help tackle DIY projects, home updates, and more. Whether you're drilling brackets to support new shelving or sharpening your hedge trimmer blade with an angle grinder, the Home Depot has the tools you need to check projects off your list. Shop Labor Day Savings. The Home Depot. And gear up for fall projects with the right tools to keep your projects moving. Kroger has everything you need to get back to it. Keep busy routines running smoothly with proven quality at affordable prices from our exclusive brands. Creamy Kroger brand protein yogurt makes a satisfying breakfast. While sweet Simple Truth organic baked energy bars keep midday bites exciting. And classic Kroger brand crustless sandwiches are sure to please with their rich peanut butter and juicy grape jelly. Visit Kroger and get set for a fresh start. Kroger. Fresh for everyone.