Kevin Ryan & H. Foley Are American Garbage | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome back to whiskey ginger a wave series. Hey, with ginger fans, I'm putting up a bunch of dates very, very soon. As of right now, I just have March 27th in Las Vegas, low, yes. I'm going to be playing at the Cosmo at the Chelsea theater at the Cosmo come see me. And we're putting up a ton. And I mean a ton of dates in the New Year. I'm so very excited to get back out there. Also, I might have a little secret project. I might be doing with Adam Ray. We'll see. Go to Andrew Santino dot com for those tickets. Andrew In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, Yeah, you're such a you're a wealth of knowledge and experience. I don't even know how. Thank you. Yeah, you're really that looks good. I spent some time. They look far east. Yeah, you were married, right? Yeah, he's got motorcycle golf carts outside. Yeah, he's already creating division. You're charging me for Lucy breakers when I leave this studio. He's a gentleman. Welcome back to Wisconsin. I guess there are some of my favorite people out on the center for all my guests, but I mean, he once again today is the return of the RU got a bitch boy. The boys are back in the building, and I noticed the watch. The kids rocking a big gold honking watch. I'll sell to you right now for 75 Don't sell sell off your body. You're like a you're like an old street hustler from the 70s. I'll sell to you right now. You like time at cans. I'll give you these. No, dude. I don't want clothes and I don't want your apparel. Why not? I'm just complimenting you. It looks nice. It looks like a you know what the thing is. It is a nice watch. A guy of your size. Take this the right way. Here we go. Cannot wear a small watch. It looks goofy. When I see a big guy with a small watch, it's gross. Yeah, it's weird. This so these big watches on the contrary when a skinny guy wears it out. He looks like a dumber. Uh-huh. So big watches are for big men. That's why because you're a skinny boy. It's a 42. Yeah, 42. 42 is a good size. 42 is the measurement of the size of the comfort of the watch. It's not it. It's not inches. You think that's 42 inches? No. It's millimeters. Yes. Could you imagine a 42-inch watch? Flavoured Flavoured. Flavoured have that. Flavoured have it. Boys, welcome back to Los Angeles. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. We in town for a couple of days. A couple of days around the coast. Popping your popping in. Popping around. We're doing some shows popping out. Same at the plaza. Wait, stop. He's there at the plaza. Jinx. No. I don't know, but he I think he is. No. This is the Beverly Hills plaza. This is like not that. Oh, I don't know. Then I don't know. But Stavis in town. And I. I don't know. Maybe it is the plaza, you guys. He might be staying. I can't see Stavis staying where we're staying. You don't hear moaning from one of the rooms down the hall. Night long to take pain. Let me tell you something that got no. He said. He's a Casanova. He's doing. He's looking. He's looking. I love that guy. Of course. Even as a bigger guy. Obviously, he's still, you know, he's, but when he was at his biggest, he really carried it with Keshe. He was confident. And now that it's slimming up, it's like, it's painful. It's too much. He's a good, he's a good big. I'm a bad big. What do you mean? You're a good big. No, but I got the gut hanging down the flap. I got to get it cut. If I keep losing weight from down a hundred. If I keep losing more weight, I want to get it all cut off. Have you yo-yoed it all? Have you gone back up? No, no, not this time. Only down. Yes, but I saw you. It's down. Yeah. Yo. When I got the house and you guys in the basement, yeah, you lost more from that. Yeah, yeah, that's 50 pounds down. Well, you you got skinny though. He got Hollywood on us, didn't he? Yeah, I had a kid. I had a kid and I had to, I was like, it just a such a fat piece of shit. What do you smoke and say he's drinking? It was like, are you still smoking? No, I'm off the heater and you just send him to get a pack of cigarettes. That's all fucking here. I know he's going out drinking tonight. So I would add his keys and why are you against this because you're clean. You're off the saucer. Yeah, no, I don't give a shit. Since March. So I relapsed in March. Sorry. That's all right. What'd you do? Part of the process. It was real sweet. What did you do? What do you mean? What did I do? Drugs and alcohol? What'd you dip into? That's your own choice. Oh, you love it. Best. So you dream about it. You like reminisce about it. It's so funny how do you stream about it a couple of days ago? Does he talk to you about it when he flips when he goes back into the mud? No, no, it's all it's a big bad ruse of lies and you know, which I get. You know, we've talked about the obviously we're pretty. He's obviously open about it and the we're open about, you know, being mad at me for it. For sure. Well, you're very upset. Sure. Well, it goes back to like, hey, what are you doing? You're free time. We run a business. We want a very successful demanding business. We travel. There's we have a very, you know, we do four episodes a week. That's a very. I got mouse the feet, Santino. You know, he has mouse to feed now. You have a mouth to feed. Yes. And we want to keep it at one. Yes. You don't know kids for you. That's not true. I want to have a baby. Ladies, listen up. The man wants to have a child. So if anybody out there wants to have a baby or you want to buy a watch or you want to buy a watch. Please email us at I want, I want Foley's baby at gmail.com. Can we see if we have that domain? I want Foley's baby at gmail.com will feel somebody. If I keep my nose clean, I'll be I'm very successful. You are. Yeah, I do all right. Can I ask you an out of pocket question? You can tell me. No, I don't want to talk about it. No, what's like the most amount of money you spend in one night when you when you get back into the bag? Well, I'm not getting back into the bag. No, when you did when I did like what's the most that you dropped? I hate I don't want to talk money, but I'm just curious like what what's your explosion? 15 15 grand. Yeah. Foley shit. Oh my god. Go watch. Yeah, that's a heavy hit. Let's say it's a couple days. That's like two or three days you get a hotel and you disappear. You have some friends come and go. And you're just sitting at a whole time. Plotting planning scheme like that. Yeah, you know, and you never leave. No, well, you go down to get Gatorade and stuff like that. Gatorade. Yeah, is that the Coke addict's choice? Gatorade. They should rush a screaming cold gatorade after not eating for like three or four days. That's what they should sell in the gas station. It's selling as a coke a coke a picture a picture of Foley all the best is a shot with a gatorade screaming cold 20 ounce cherry coke. Cherry coke is God man. What do they do to that thing? I don't know it in there man. It's even better at the movie theater. See, but I'm at the age now where I'm only doing diets. Yeah, of course we did. But why do we we were talking about this one? We were wild cherry peps and when wild cherry Pepsi hit that was the king. That was it. Do you guys remember clear Pepsi? Yeah. That was my clear. I told you 30. I'm surprised you remember you're going 40. Are you 40? 43? You're 43. 42 40. I'll be 40. I keep saying it because it's around the corner. So you barely remember that clear Pepsi. Yeah. No, I remember. I remember caffeine free Pepsi. I remember Jolt Cola. Jolt was huge. You never had it. Yeah, three times the caffeine. You never drank it. It was like it might as well been meth. And then in junior high, we used to love to get the 40 ounces of a root beer. They'd sell 40 ounce root beers. Yeah. What was the brain? Not a dub. It was like a something. No, it was someone trying to break. Everyone's a game. Everyone barks hit. Well, barks is barks. They might know where. What was that? Did you get into any of the canned iced teas out there and shut down? You know, it's all funny is I was so obsessed at one point with Arizona. I see my buddy worked at a gas station. We'd go get high and smoke cigarettes all night long in the mechanics shop. That's what we did all night long. Shut up, Billy. Billy. You know where you are. By the way, Billy's probably running a like a financial firm right now. He was working at a gas station, but we should go get stoned. Will you miss it? You then steal his wife and steal Arizona iced teas in the bottle. And Arizona used to make one called memory. It had a picture of Einstein. It was a blue bottle. I liked it so much. I saved it. But if I go below in it, it did have ginkgo in it. You're exactly right. That's exactly right. And I can drink in green tea with ginseng. Were you? I liked it. Okay. That's fine. But but the latter years, they introduced you. I didn't know you were a 20 year old chick fallen Dave Matthews around. First of all, dude, I'll rip a mic start lemonade right in front of your face. I'll take you to the sand dunes and grab a six or a mic. No, but that one right there with Einstein memory. That was my favorite. Holy shit. That's a fucking blast from the pan. Let me tell you something. If I was stoned out of my brain and I needed to level up before I went home to see my mom and dad. I would crack one of those and I'd feel perfect. Yeah. Like it just got me back nowadays. You can't you can't break the stone. They stepped over snapple like they were not even moving and snapple was huge. Here was snapples biggest mistake. Hit me. They didn't they weren't their flavorings. All at some point tastes the same. Snapple kind of like felt like I drank a drink. I drank a snapple. It tasted like another version of a snapple. They didn't have uniqueness. Arizona really broke the time. They went bold. They they went. They were doing what they were doing. They went to the kids. 99 cents for the tall can for the great buy. What do you want? That's amazing. Now to $199. Is that what it is? I think it's $199. Really? Look it up. What it is. He wouldn't change it for a long time. And he also made sure he put the 99 cents on the can. So the retailers could change people on. Those guys is $7.11. I thought last time we were driving back. Give me your two cents on this too. Please. We were driving back down back to L.A. from up north. Is it a buck 99? It's still 99. It depends on what the retailers can choose to sell it for more. Bucket rats. That's a lot of money. This is the New York you want. It's all private equity. We were driving down back into L.A. from up private equity. We'll talk about P. He keeps throwing pride. We'll just talk about P in a second. That is private equity guy. I know he wants to have venture capital conversations. I understand what he wants to get into it before the show. Tariffs. We're driving by the Oxnard has a huge has it's like Oxnard auto autoplex. auto autoplex. It's got to be a mile and a half of car dealerships. I love that. We used to have the auto model - It's unbelievable how big it is. And my wife and I were like, I was like, there's that many people still buying cars at this rate that they need that much inventory, like it's absurd. It can't be. But then I remember how bothersome it is to me that there are no price, cars don't have MSRP's fake. It's suggested retail prices. So any dealership could charge this or that. It doesn't matter. This needs to end at some point. Car dealership seem to go, the car is 37 grand. It has to be 37 grand when it goes out there. - That's what it is. - Whoa. - It's a joke that you can go to a dealership in Tucson, Arizona or go to one in Pittsburgh. And it's the exact same car, same specs, two completely different prices. I'm not including state tax. I'm saying, I mean, even Pittsburgh. - Hold on. - You can be four different. - You can just make it up. - A guy like you, a talker like you. You don't like walking in and beat them up again. - I used to. - Years ago, I used to love that game. It's the only thing you do anymore. - If a friend was buying a car, I'd love to go with them. Just to shimmy the deal with them. - Really? - Yeah, but I got tired of it because I'm like, this is all a big scam. They're ripping people off and there's no end to it. - I got a good deal. It's not a real thing. No, you didn't. Do you not have a car? If you ever had someone in your family or friends that sold cars, they'll tell you there's never ever, they've never, ever, ever given a good deal. Doesn't exist. You think it is. - Yeah, say they're either like, hey, I made 900 bucks on this car. I made, you know, 14 hundred. There's no such thing as them not walking with cash in their pocket. And the biggest fool's game for people out there, don't ever put money up front. Don't do it. Don't do it. - That's one good thing. - Yeah, I do that. - I'm a least guy. - Don't give them the money. If you're giving them the money, the least sort of buy doesn't matter, don't do it. It's gonna go right in their pocket. - I know, right. - My payments are higher and you're like, I know, but that cash is lost. It's lost. There's no equity in that. - There's no equity in that. - This guy's sharp as it is. - I just don't believe in giving them, it's a scam. - That's crazy. - It's a gross little scam. - Do you buy or lease? Depends on the toy. Like I would say this, if it's a brand, if it's a new car, let's say you're like, oh, I want to go get a new, you know, Toyota 4 runner, right? It's a brand new car. - This guy in a chick car. - No, no, four runners are a good car. Shout out to Toyota, good cars. Coaches do make phenomenal cars. - Sure. - I'm an American guy, but yeah. - My buddy's a car, my buddy owns car dealerships and he told me one time he goes, of all the car dealerships that you've owned, which one prints money the most. He goes hand over fist, not even close. Lexus is a joke. He's like Lexus. - 'Cause they're Toyotas. - Prince money. Yeah, because it's people with a little bit more money than a Toyota and they want a little bit up. Or it's billionaires. The richest people you know drive, Lexus is in Toyotas, I'm telling you. - Do you have a Toyota 4 runner? - I don't have one. - That's ice is shit. - It's a great car. - Hey, hey, throw, are you going to jail on the back of that? - We keep emailing you, are you going to join finally? You have all the fixings that we're ready for. - I don't want to get locked into a contract. - Can you imagine how much we can strap to your body and hide it on them? - That's a lot of TNT. - No one's going to say anything. - Man. - You can't fat shame a TSA. - That's true, they ever see me coming. - No, so I say that those cars are like the biggest, that's like the biggest buy. But if you're going to go get a new car, always lease those cars. Give it back to them. You don't love a lease. - I don't like that. - That always leased. - We were never leasing fat. We talked, he's, we talked as a part of the show. - Big leasing family. - He was a leasing family. We never leased all, like it makes fun of him. - All the car every three years, also you're going to lose money. - But they're giving all that value back to them. - You're the only time I haven't sold that car. - Give it to him. - There was no value. - It's also their problem. - You're not leaving with the Kippy. If you're buying an old school car, if you're buying like a vintage car. - Let's say a 1995 Chevy Lumina that I'm currently trying to sell at the moment. No one's going to buy it. - Foxy. - Guys, please also email [email protected]. We're going to get that straight as well. - Seriously, it's great, it's got 36,000 miles on. - I've seen is it the purple one? - It's blue. - Yeah, I've seen it online. - I'll try not to get rid of it. - How much is it? - I got bamboozled on it. Like bought it from in the, I ended up costing me about 10. - So you got taken. - Is that crazy? - Probably worth four. - It was a good bit. - To get there. - Yeah, well I had to get tires on it. I had to get inspect it. I had to get it shipped. It was come from Indiana or something like that. - That's what I mean. You got taken. - It was five. And then I think all set and done. - Another five grand from Indiana. - I put tires and speculations. - It's cheap. - Registration. - He's guy. - What? - Okay, we get around San Tino and the big dogs. I really see the cracks in your leaders. - No, whatever you have. - I do it, dude. I'm really good at keeping him in the dark and light. - If you're buying a vintage car, you buy it. Yeah, buy it. - Oh, the 1995 Chevy Luminous and a vintage car. - It's vintage to me. - It's old. - What is that now? Remember, it's 20 years as a classic. Is that changed? - I think a classic has to be noted by the. - Historic. - The love of the vehicle, right? Yeah, it's got to be like a, like a, like a, like a, like a cutlass supreme kind of had like a classic. - Right? - It is in a carlo. - Monocarlo, right, right. Or Cadillac Eldorado. - Right. - Like if you got these things, they had some, they had social worth to them. They were like, there's something about them that was sexy. But if you just have just an old school camry, it's not gonna have any, even it's 30 years old. It's not gonna have any. - You know what I always thought was really trashy and it was always like one of your dad's friends drove them. They didn't have kids. It was the El Camino. - Oh, it's sexy, dude. - Not back there. - They were cool now back there. - Yeah. - They were a little fucking sketchy. - Her sketchy. - We sketched. - About the Iroxy, that was when I was a kid. - I was like, that was bad ass. - That was bad ass. - We just had this question. When was the last time somebody wrote it in, so good the fucking fans are. When was the last time you were in convertible with cloth seats? That is a specific time and place on the car. - Look up a Toyota M-R2. - M-R2. - Look up the M-R2. That's a drop top I think with cloth seats. - Mine was a fire, but it was teetop, but a firebird with sigburns all over the house. - Firebird finale. - I'm not the Vinny with the Skins. - Dude, smoking the banded car. - I think I told you guys this. When the first time I did your show, I think we talked about my-- - That's a transam. - Yeah, that's there it is. That's a Toyota M-R2. - Wow. - Cloth seats. - Cloth seats. - Cloth seats. - Right at a dental school with that thing. - That dude, that's where he's talking about. - First good job, but he had my dad had firebird. - Price, Waterhouse Cooper just hired me. - He had Pontiac and Antigone. - Working for the Antigone and Firebird. Both of them made that car. - Really? - Yeah, he had both of them. One with the original bird on the hood, the big one, and then the other, then they made it a little bit smaller. That was the sexy car, the Firebird. - My very sexy. My cousin, Pat's red-headed girlfriend. - Hey, slow down. Be careful. - She was hot. - She was hot. - She was hot. - You had a crush on redheads when you were a kid, didn't you? - I had a crush on all my cousins-- - Girlfriends. - I was just gonna say, hopefully we continue that. All my cousins. - All my cousins, I had four older cousins that were pretty cool dudes and they always had hot chicks. - All right, let me say this. Just because you just, when you said it, it made me think, you guys run a business here on the road all the time. When Bob and I toured together, real tough. It was the hardest, it was hard for us to toured together. - Yeah. - We're so opposite. - Yeah. - You guys are not opposite, but you're not what I'm saying. - It's bad. - No, we're just-- - Who don't like me? - He paints this. - I cause a lot of trouble. - Yeah, no, no, yes. He paints this as like, I don't, and I wear this. - I'm a bad, last day guy too. When everyone's like burnt out, I'm still going. - Who says goodbye, thank you to the staff. When you leave the venue. - We all do. - Who do you do with the right thing? - No, no. - Wait, you kidding me? - You're painting that we're different. - When you said that you're a bad guy on the thing, you said you're good. - He's a bad hang. - Yeah. - Everybody else I want to be, I want to be, I want to be, thank you so much, I appreciate it. I try to want up. Just to be with the service industry. - That's the problem. - I'll draw, this is what he'll do. This is insane to me, and I could be wrong. - This is why our sex life's so bad. - But passionate at times. I'll be like, hey, can I do another diet coke? And they'll go, yeah, sure, and they'll drop my diet coke in front of me, and I'll go, thank you, and then he'll go, thank you so much. And I'm like, you're undercutting, it wasn't even your delivery. - I'm cool. - And now you're, you're one up in me on the, or we'll do the thing where like, you know, we have a corporate credit card, whatever, whole one, and then this happened last time, we might have talked, we did, I think we talked about this, with the tip of like, he wants them to know it's coming from them. I'll be like, give me 50 bucks, and then I'll give them 50, because he doesn't have cash, I'll give them 50 bucks. - I'm like, my personal money, and he has it. - And then he'll want to hand it to the guy. - All right, what's the rule on who tips the driver if you're both in a car? - What car? - Well, if you're in a black car, one of you doesn't tip the, black car to the venue? - Tuber. - It's always Uber. - Yeah, why, what are you using? - Well, sometimes it's set up for that. - Well, you use Uber, black or it's a car service from the venue. - Yeah, we never do that. - You can cash? - You have to. - You have to. - We do, we use the, we'll use a car service sometimes, like, whatever, but. - Got a tip. - The tip's always in, 'cause I'll buy, still book the car service. - The tip is in, but it ain't. - You're telling? - I don't buy it. - That guy last night, look for it. - That guy last night was like. - And I was taking, I was taking blackling cars back and forth to New York to do tires. I never tipped a guy once. - And who paid for him tires, did? - No, Kevin. - Yeah. - Or us, we did. (laughing) - Kevin, us, yeah. - Us, yeah. - Well, when you did tires, they sent cars for you, but yeah, you always got to grease them a little bit. - Can't grease them, huh? - Because those guys, it's like massages. You go to get a massage, and let's say the price of massages inflated at a spa. I learned through my wife, who went to massage therapy school years and years and years ago, and when she was out of college, she was like, you don't get any more of that money. The spa keeps all that money. So I was like, oh, the masseuse doesn't get more money if it's more expensive. Like, the fuck? No, they get nothing. So you got to break off those people a little bit. - But even now, the car service guys, they're accepting it like it's an Uber. Like it comes in and they go, hey, 'cause I've been in the car, where it pops up on the screen, they go, hey, for $214, will you take this ride? And that is with-- - Oh, yeah, that's a little different. Then it's included. I know. - Like, I'm not calling up, like, fucking Johnson's limousine and being like, send fucking-- - You should. - Mom and pop, and she go back to the old-- - Yeah, Kevin. - We're gonna go back to the old days. - Dude, the guy last said, we got to laid fucking in New York, about four or five hours. And-- - That guy didn't want to go home. - Dude, he did it. 'Cause we're taking off, and he calls me and text me, while we're in New York. And he goes, like, they have my flight number, so it's supposed to be updated. - And he goes, hey, man, I'm here. Let me know when you get in-- - I ain't out. - Your luggage, I go, dude, I am in New York City right now. - For New York. - It's gonna be a little while. - You need about six hours. - Go get dinner. He goes all hang out here then, I went, wow. He called and texted me five hundred times. - Did you grease him? - I did it, but he was looking too. Now, I thought that last time I got out, I went, he was-- - Look, he gave us nice cold waters and everything. - He was too much, but yeah, he was-- - He told us how he does it, I gotta take it. I gotta take it for the long term brand name. - I love her in it, come in. - I'm like, do we've been traveling for 18 hours? - I don't need to know how to navigate out there. - So how did you like tires? - It was good, it was great. - Was it nice that they didn't put you in it? - Oh, dude, I'm not an actor. Selfish. - Me? - Yeah. - He's trying to conquer and divide and poach and-- - You don't like getting your boy in? I mean, that's crazy, you didn't try to get him in stuff. It's not, you didn't go to the school and bones. What are you talking about? - Yes, it is. - He's a businessman. - Shane was at Skull and Bones at Harvard. You don't know that. - Was he? - Shane went to Harvard, the whole thing's a lie. - No. - You're talking about my boy. - Yeah, no, I don't have the acting bug. Never did. Never wanted to. - I think they should put one scene of you guys together. - You're so good together. It's something funny. Maybe make him like a driver for you or something like that. - Hit me. - Grace me. - Come on. - I'll see what I can do. - Please. Talk to him. - Yeah, right. You don't want to do, yeah, you don't want to do it. - Makes him make it something. - I mean, Bobby didn't even try to get me on the show. Bobby got it. - Oh, I didn't even think that's where it is. - This is where it's coming from, you get it, I didn't know. - Bobby and I were supposed to be on beef together the first season, and I did it. And the character's fucking name is Bobby. - I think for what I've been told that he's going to go back, Bobby will come back. Bobby will go back again on tires in the next season. I think they want his character. - He was great. He was great. Season was fantastic. - And they got a new scene. Congrats to you guys. - What is it a great job? - Season four. - Shout out to the boys. - Home team winning, baby. Love to see you. - There is no other choice. - Billy's on the map. Shout out stuff Island. - Stuff Island. One of the greatest shows in the world. 100%. - 100%. - Why can't I think of the cooking show? What's wrong with me? - Look at this. - Look at this. Check out those boys always. See, we're plugging in. - High tide. - You raise all ships. - You believe in it, don't you? - 100%. - 100%. - You're a big proponent of that. - We try to. I wish we had the Sandler universe. Whatever Adam's figured out, I'm like, how do we copy that math? - We're all sort of doing that. - We started to open it might together. - Like from jump. - I know, it's like, and he's found a way to employ all of his friends all the time. I think it's like the coolest thing in the business that you're right. - Talent the group of gentlemen. - That also helps. I mean, so are you guys. It's like everyone that is getting up on that show, I'm like, oh man, another win for Shane and the tires. It's like Shane's done a good job of doing that where I don't think there's any other show where guys are doing that that you can sneak on with. - I mean, we were talking the other day. It's like you look at it. It's like, I think 99% of the cast is like, I have their phone number. It's like not even like a straight, it's like, oh, it's everybody is in the immediate where everybody got a job. It's it. - That's awesome. I'm changing my number and blocking you. - You think you're getting too big now, huh? He's straight. He really thinks that as that has the tires led you down any roads. - I live in Ian's basement. - You do? - Yes, I do. - You live in Ian's finances basement? - Okay, and I'm currently in his pocket. - When you say in his basement, you really live down there with him? - I live right next to the B&E and set. - Wow. - I feel like I'm really in show business. (laughing) - Did you burn through all the money you made on tires? - I burned through all the money I made on it. - He's everywhere. - He put in the good way. - Any money that I made in my entire life, I spent it. - Every dollar he's made. - It goes away. - From what? No, like think about it. - Ian, Ian, from Jordan. (laughing) - He started working at 12. - Yeah, no. - And he hasn't been able in 40 years to save him. - Jenna, the gym restaurant. - What can we do to get you on a path to save some money now? - I'm wondering his pocket. - I had a, you know, quit doing drugs. - He's interested in private equity. That's the funniest part. - He wants a private equity guy. - He's a private equity. What do you know about this world? - No, that's just a buzzword that's going around. So I want to look cool. - It's not going around. - Your data center. - Whatever that is. (laughing) - All the data center. - All the data center. - Private equity guys. - The private equity is a big thing. - Did you get taken on crypto too? - What's that? - No. - Did you do crypto? - I lost a little bit. - I just smoked. - Not bad though, not bad. - Shot of my Vin in New York. Vin was like in his kitchen with his parents and he's like, "Did you got to get in? "My buddy's got this thing. "We've got to get in this crypto thing. "It's a new one. "It's going to run out of it. "I dumped money into it like a Bozo. "Within like 48 hours. "Gawd." - I'd love to take a look at your books. I'd love to know what's on there. - You want my books? - I'd love to know. - He runs them. - No, he's got the world's smallest desk. - This thing's crazy. (laughing) - That's insane. Things are going well. Get the guy on full. It looks like he's a math class over here. - You've got to keep these guys contained otherwise they get big in their own head. He already has. And I know you guys feel that when you guys have your crew. He'll admit it, he'll admit he's had some fun come around and some stuff because of the growth of the show. - Sick. - And he gets a little above himself. He went to London. This guy was on vacation for a long time. - Our guy just flew out of here fucking Delta 1. First class. - This is what I mean. They're getting a little weird. - Your dynamic is different. - Well, this is like my son. I treat him like my son. - Yeah, my our producer, Luke. - But then you need to raise. - Is higher up than a company that I own than I am. (laughing) - Well that's what anybody pushed back on that. - No. - That's on you, man. - Yeah. - He's a sharp kid. I'm going to Atlanta in two days. I gotta go be there for the month. Bobby's gonna be there playing a show. - Nice. - Very cool. - We want to get the boys down there to shoot an episode. - Okay. - I said this is great. And he said, "Well, I'll just meet you guys down there." And I said, "Are there anyone?" - Oh, I love this. - Are there any buses that go from Los Angeles to Atlanta? We're gonna put the kid on a bus on a three day bus down Atlanta. Have him film the whole thing. - Okay. - That's fun. - Isn't that fun? - Yeah. - Are you okay with that? - That sounds really cool. - Very Americana. - He's 26. - Love that. - Get on the fucking bus. - If I happen to be on that same bus, I want my face forward out. I gotta rubbed up. Keep. - What's up you guys? Dude, Foley's here. Check this out. - Yeah. - Foley's dreaming of the bus picking up a ship. - He's 88 bucks. - He would shock you there. How much do you think a bus from Los Angeles to Atlanta cost? - It's expensive. - How much? - Take a guess. - I'll wait $1,000. - $488 bucks. - We googled it the other day. I would blow your fucking mind. - Trains are crazy too. Trains are like a troll and they take like four days. - Trains are different. People do that more for that's retiree to see the country. That's more like a cruise on land. That's all that is. Because you can get like classes on trains where you have nice beds and showers. How much was it? - If you book it far enough in advance, it'll be between 118 and 210. But last minute tickets could surge upwards between 314 and 430. - Hey, $318. - I got that on for the milk train. That's what he's gonna be on. In the back of the milk train, lugging it around, three day total. - You have to take the gear or the gear, get there on its own. - No, we're gonna shoot at a studio there. - We're gonna shoot a studio, but I'm gonna load him up in a row. - Just to make it inconvenient. - The blaze fully. - We want very plain trains on our mobiles. I wanted to have multiple suitcases. - I'll go with you. We'll do a collab. - You should. - You should. - You would never last on a train for three days. - Yeah, what are you talking about? - You could do this. - When push, I've been living out of a suitcase for the last five months. And it's the happiest I've ever been. - Because you don't have a home. - No. - Has he opted to come stay at your house? - He's asked. Opted means it's like-- - It's there on the table. - But no. - No, we're in a very-- - My friend Ian Fightance took me out. - Ian Fightance. - We're currently in like a separation of church and state type vibe. - You too? - A little bit. - Yeah, I like this. - What's the needle that kind of cracked it a little bit? - The needle. (laughing) - The crack. - The crack cracked it a little bit? - No, yeah, just like a little bit of a-- We live a-- We're very-- Not all-- Not all throw in the blame at him. We're very codependent. We have been since we met. - Yeah. - We've been like-- Everything we've done, we've done together. - How old did you guys meet? I don't remember. - I was 25. You were, I guess, 35 or whatever. - It's 32. Yeah, 35. - Wow. - I didn't start counting until I was 32. - Yeah, so yeah, 25, 35. And now we're four-- I've known for-- We've been-- We've literally have talked in a home. A hung out home was every day for 15 years. - Did your wife or a police angle enough of this with him? - I mean, she has her, she-- - Oh, yeah. - She's so weird of the-- - She-- - The bumps and bruises. - Whatever she's doing now at home listening, that she puts down whatever she has in her hand to listen to. - She just drops a glass. - Oh, my family's talked shit about me. You believe that should sit, Dino? - I don't talk any shit about you. - I know, I love you. - I love you. - No, listen, he also thinks this right here. - We think-- - That is true, Dino. - I mean, one hand. - No, he thinks they-- He thinks, this is what's going on. And he's like, stop running your mouth. You're talking shit. - People are just, maybe people are more concerned than us. - Yeah, there you go. - I think that's-- - Yes, people express concern. My wife, everybody's very-- Well, it was, obviously, you're doing good now. I was very concerned. And just, you know-- - Who's bad? - Yeah. - I mean, yeah, you-- - Yeah. - I mean, you've also-- - Yeah. - You've dealt with friends and recovery? - Yeah. - It's really unfun. - Yeah, it's really-- - It's really unfun. - It's really unfun. - We've talked about-- - Oh, stop. - Ha-ha-ha-ha. You've posted-- - This is what they say, see? - That's all, and it's like, you know-- We're so-- Our lives are so-- Do we do four episodes a week together? Plus we tour together. Plus we're friends. It's like-- - That's hard. - That's more-- - No, you're one of those-- - You're still in love. - No, we saved my life, of course. - Hear that? Hasselhoff. - Why Hasselhoff? - Because he saves lives. - Day watch. - Where? - You're Pan Anderson. Don't you get it? - He got the jug of it. - He's the Hasselhoff that Baywatch for the cash. He's really Michael Knight writer. - He's a man who operates above the law. - Can you go to rehab for being a dickhead? [laughter] - I should have that. - That's all my age. - That's all my age, and I've been a dickhead for 52 years. [laughter] - Hey, dickhead. - Hey, Unison. - Yeah, clap. - How have you been a dickhead in 12 days? - Do you go into meetings and stuff? - Oh, yeah. Yeah, meetings. - Like while you're here with me. you do that? Yeah, I went to one this morning. This morning. That's great. Yeah. Does it help? But I got some friends that don't do it. I have a buddy that, you know, we're mutual friends with who's clean and sober and he doesn't go. He won't go. He doesn't go to meetings. He talks to sponsors. He talks to people. I think that helped. Yeah. He thinks the meetings are tough for him. It gives him anxiety. Yeah. I wouldn't know. I'm in an early recovery. I don't have any. Feels good for you. Don't ever say it. But the number one rule is don't get a task of someone in there. I can't you not date someone within the first year of recovery or whatever. No. No. You see girls know that you talk to? No, don't talk to anybody. But truth be told, I am a scumbag. So sometimes that keeps you going back to a degree. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're not a scumbag. Don't say that about yourself. Kevin. Now I'm down there. The reason you want to answer that? Sure. Yeah. No, he's a scumbag. We all, I mean, our show is called Are You Garbage? They don't. We're not fucking up, you know, upstanding. I love a lovable loose. When I first did your show. Very much. There you go. The less lovable. A little more looser. Yeah. In here, we pour whistle. Hey, there I'm here to tell you about Fablatics. You've heard of it. You know of it. I hope so. I'm wearing it right now. I'm wearing a top from them right now. It's comfortable. It's sleek. It's cozy because it's getting a little bit cold outside. Little niply. 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I said this on the pod the other day. I got to take buyers. Right. I was I was barking and I'm going to get so much flak for it, but I was like, I'm so tired of the fucking Eagles, man. I'm so sick of you guys now. Why? Because you went because you because it's over. You did it. This is the same thing that happened to Boston. It's the same thing. Yeah. Like even one. Absolutely. One champ. One championship. Did you feel that way about Kansas City chiefs? Yeah. Everyone's over them. Yeah. But people I'm saying, once you win, no one roots for you anymore. And for years, Philly was this people wanted to see Philly. Listen, think about it. The Sixers. Everyone had love for the Sixers and one way or another Alan Iverson. Like you guys had things that came through Philly where you go, God, I love that team. I don't even give a fuck if I'm if I'm against them in the same division or some they're conference. But the Sixers, the Philly's and the Eagles, all very likable squads. Yeah. So once everyone got some burn and it's successful, it wears on people. The Philly's haven't done it yet though. But the Philly's are fucking great contenders still. They're still they're still they're still making waves. They're still studs. Yeah, they're still, I mean, they've got a winning record this year and also they've got a shot this year. No, not a chance. Really? Well, if we want to get a picture. If we want to get in the throws of this, it doesn't fucking matter to the the the NL is going to crush anyone in the AL. The NL's so tough between the brewers and the Dodgers. I mean, I don't want to get into it. The Dodgers have all the money in the world. They just bought they bought their way through and they're going to buy it all the way to the. I like that. Freddie Freeman, though. Private equity here. P.E. P.E. sponsors at all. That's exactly true. No, dude. No, but you got your money in private equity. No, I don't have any money in private, but I love that you love it. And I want to lie to you and say, yes, just because I know you're so interested. I don't really know and understand what it is. We're looking to get in the laundromats. Yeah, this is a lot of quarters. Think I can run a cash money. We really need to get into. They say what are the two businesses that always have money coming in? Nick Roachford says gravel, birth and death, birth and death, dude. Anything with birth and death can't open a hospital. I don't want to run a funeral home. That's too scary. Be good in a graveyard. Creepy. Well, good in a graveyard. You've been cracking jokes. Yeah, let him run the desk and you're cranking down the bodies into the ground. I mean, I would fuck that up, man. I drop somebody. Somebody's hands coming out. Yeah. And I hate when they're standing there. You're worse day. You're a little bit of space here, fucking pal. What are you doing? You know, yeah, I just always think it's like my grant, my entire mom's side of the family, all the all the mix, all the Irish got. They've been buried from the same company, right? Cooney. That's very Irish. I mean, the Irish world. Cooney family has their, you know, call my cooney. The cooney. The cooney's grandfather has buried, you know, half my family and then his kids and his kids. And I think it's the funeral home. Sorry. Yeah, cooney funeral home. What a great racket. Great. My grandfather left a note in his bedside table with money inside of it, cash. And it said, give to cooney when I croak. And I begged for that that envelope. That's great. I wanted a frame. I have a photo of it framed, but I wanted a physical envelope. Give to cooney when I croak. Who took it? Some one of my mom's brothers or sisters has. I mean, I'll get it when one of them dies. And I'll have to go to coonies together. Cooney will have it. Yeah. But it's a what a great racket. I thought that's incredible. It's forever. But death and birth, dude, if we get into death business, people are always dying. I can't think like. Yeah, I can't think like this. Well, if you guys want to get a business with me and this is what this whole pot is about, what about hot dogs? Everybody loves that though. I thought that's imminent death. By the way, yeah, well, there we go. That's what puts you to lead them right to your hot dog cart outside of our funeral home. Mm hmm. So we'll kind of up the heart of that. I got to do brick and mortar. I can't do a hot dog cart. A small little place hot dog. So in New York, I got to chill in your, when you guys are in New York, you won't do street dogs. Oh, no. You're a no. You're a yes. Yes. I love them, but they're never they're not good anymore. They were good. They're not like, is this a controversial take? Because all New Yorkers still love hot dogs, huh? I love hot dogs. I love, don't get me wrong. I love hot dogs. They're just they're they're they're just not that good anyway. Unless there's like one that's like, if you just randomly go to one, what's missing? What changed the love? Yeah, the love, the quality is down, the fucking rolls are down. They're not some breaths. They're fucking 1199 or whatever. And you just like, well, I don't know what they are, but they're they're not like, it's not 250 anymore. Have you had an L.A. dog? No, what about pinks? No, why? You got to get a street dog from it. You got to go to the east side right after a dodger game. He's still like, no, no, no, just the east side of local parks over like, so echo parks over like, where are the kids live? We're the cool kids. I relax pulp fiction. I don't know. We don't know this joint. Call the wolf. All right. Move out of the sticks, fellas. Very good. Some of the best. See, he's quick. But by the way, the wolf is for reference. I don't know. Just so you know, for reference that he is incorrect. Who is the funniest part about that? Tarantino wrote that wrong. As a guy who knows Los Angeles, the wolf says, move out of the sticks, fellas, because they lived in the valley. All right. That's where we are now. The wolf. What? The wolf lived in Hermosa Beach or Redondo? Redondo? Let me see. He lived in the sticks and he said, for he told them to move out of the sticks, the irony being when he says, move out of the sticks, you're like, brother, you live in the fucking sticks. Does he say he's lived? He was that some cocktail part of the sticks, fellas. No, he goes, I'm in Hermosa or Redondo. I'll be there and it takes 40 minutes. I'll be there in 10. I don't think he was living there. He was in a cocktail party at a hotel. I'm positive. He doesn't live down there. But why was he in a suit? Yeah, he was in a suit. Not, but he was he was at a talk. He was in a talk. And I'm not even a big fucking whole got like, I don't know it. I've seen that about a hundred times. A lot of the sticks, fellas. I know, but it makes me feel like he lived down in a South Bay. Or maybe, maybe jewels lived in the South Bay. South Bay. The South Bay. You're getting San Francisco and LA mixed up. No, South Bay is what we call end up in open. Hermosa, Redondo. That's all Manhattan Beach. That's what we call the South Bay. It's South of Palsford. I still worry about it. I'm a geographical. My cousin lived in Redondo Beach and I used to tell about baseball. I love baseball. It's the only thing I love. Me and my dad and my cousin Luke text every day when the Cubs are on. I've told a lot of people that story that you tell me about that guy you talked to on that on that on the plane. What guy? I don't know if I'm allowed to say it. Oh, right. You were on a plane with somebody. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's a great story. Yeah. That is what? What is it? Tell me. Yeah, I know. Jules, when asking Jules and Vincent where they lived, they reply Redondo Beach in Englewood. Oh, right. Okay. Redondo Beach. He said he lives in the sticks. Englewood is not in the sticks. It's South Central LA. Yeah. So they're not in the sticks. So where does the wolf live? Where does the wolf fucking live? This is the biggest one. I don't know. See? I know. And what's in the box? Bakers field. Oh, it's a soul. You don't know that? You think so? No, definitely. How do you know? I talked to Quentin Tarantino about it. Would you have your feet out the whole time? What's wrong with my feet? I'm trying to say casual. He didn't pick that up. No. Tarantino has a foot fetish. He has a foot fetish. Oh, he does. He's got to have those, he's got to have those pigly wigglies out. I never got that. Are those things good? I'm just feeding like every day. No. Wait, you don't like, you don't, you don't have a, you don't like a feet thing? I think you say that like everybody likes feet. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like what you involve people. I mean him. Not you. Do you? If a woman has nice feet, it is, it's a little bit time. I like a nice foot. Of course. I don't want to hoof. I like a hoof. Are you like click it or toast? I mean, they're at top or bottom. A sweaty wife has claws and I love it. They're gangly. I mean, they're disgusting. No, I'm kidding. What are yours like? Right? You know, they're fucked up from years of sports. Yeah, mine are sometimes I, we went to go get a massage at this place. And then she was like, do you want me to do your feet? And I was like, no, thank you. I love that. For her. Yeah. Now they're all, they've seen worse. They have seen worse. Fucking 15 seconds away from my hand. job. That's the feet, baby. My big toe got stepped on by alignment in college and it looks like wood. It literally looks like wood. It's crazy. He's got some, he's got, you never see Jurassic Park when they turn the door knob. That's what he's got going on. Yeah, that's his feet. The round of toes. Yeah. All right. So then what do you, what's your most, what's your, what's the one thing about a woman that you go? She has a nice, oh my god. Can I say that on here? Yeah, as long as it's not repulsive. Well, hey, time out. Why don't you whisper in my ear? Try to say it eloquently. I'm an ass man. He likes a Tush. Yeah, you love it. More importantly, the, well, this is the era of you, dude, because the last 10 years has been, this is all but all the time, but season right now, the inside of it, the butthole. Yeah, you said the butthole, dude, that's Lee, totally legal. You're a lot. I'm a J little bird. Yeah, he's right. You won't do it a little bit on you. He does the voices too. Yeah, I do it all. I try to touch all the bases. Do an Australian accent. Go. Get it right? Irish. No, Irish, you have to load up. You do Ireland. And plus it's North and it's South. Yeah. Northern Ireland. British. She got cocked. Yeah, I'm like a Roy. Yeah, but that's on his voice that you're doing. Black. I can't do black. Don't. Yeah. African American. Black Irish. Oh, that I can do. Oh, you want to hear a good African American guy? Hi, nice to meet you. You fucking very good. You see you fucking racist. We're Mojo Brooks fans. No, no line. Who's Mojo? You don't know what? No, no, no, no. Oh my God. Shut up, Mojo. We have on the show. He's huge. Huge. We were. Mojo Brooks. You know, no, no, no, no, you're not a fucking Instagram. So this guy's got his head up so far. Hollywood. You don't know what to happen on his street. Get off the yacht. Private equity. I'm busy. Not looking at Instagram. I got it. We got to get off of this thing. Let me see Mojo. I'm a comedian killer. Stand up. Okay. You 20. Who is this? That's a friend. That's a friend. How you doing? Paul Kills. I think I think he kills. Well, yeah. I mean, put a bunch of old white people on the front row. Mojo Brooks is going to go off. Let's go. Yeah. See, that's the thing. I know you fucking. We can't be the other way around. He's got 3.3 million followers. Shout out to Mojo Brooks. I do not know you. I want to know you. You seem like the man is the man. Let's go. Wait. How do you guys get to know? Show. I'd like to be like this. I would get served up as clips. We think it's I mean, yeah, the most we've ever left as a team together has been watching Mojo Brooks clips. Wow. It's like dying. It's he'll be like, yeah, it's just whatever you're wearing. He'll be like, look at this. I'm sure it's Internet. Short sleep, and then they can't wear bands with a guy with a short sleep. It's almost like they're planted. It's so funny. Like a second in there. Who's wearing a shirt? Because you know, you walked out with that thing. And it's like, he kills him. Yeah, it's great. I met a gentleman that you're a big Mojo. I met a gentleman that you're a big fan of just a couple weeks ago. Who? Who? Little Pete? Little Pete. Yep. Little Pete. Did you ever have a little Pete out? Brother, we're trying and we love him so much. Shout out. Little Pete might be one of the funniest New York stand-up side of the line, right? Big little Pete. Big little Pete. We're big. We're, we're, yeah. Listen. We're in. I think he's one of the funniest dudes I've ever seen in my life. He cuts clips in a way that are completely disregarding of insane. What the fans might want. I was a star star. One of the courage is how you make it. He does it his way. I didn't have the courage to say how long until we left. I didn't have the courage to say how much the party until we left. What party? He was at Tim Dylan's house. That makes perfect sense. Tim's the only guy in no single no kids and has six residences around the country. He lives like a Russian oligarch. Sharp guy. No, he's a genius. No real estate. He bought this house here that he sold for much, much cheaper than what he sold it for. And I said, how much work did you do the house? He goes, I'm not. I decorated it. I was like, did they pitch you as the guy who lived here? Because I imagine people go, Tim Dylan, he still live here. Because someone's got to like that. Sure. Like we're not everybody. Well, right. People with money. I don't know, man. He's very connected. He wears enough polo that I feel like. He's got to know. How does he? How does he? You think Ralph sees him and goes, should we sponsor the show? He just goes what? He's one of the smartest guys I've ever met. He is. He's a genius. Sharp guy. And he just moved back to New York for what it's worth back on me. He is, right? I'm back. I'm out there. He doesn't summer me. Listen, I can't make it in. I'm out here on the, I'd love to. But I got out of East. That's what he says. I'm out. He assumes we all live like him. So he'll invite me to a party of his house in the Hamptons. Two days from the day of the invite. And I go, I'm in Los Angeles. He goes, you can't make it. You don't have a jacket. You can hop on a hop hop on a red eye. Brother. No, no, no, never take a red eye. It's funny. I'm about to take a night flight tomorrow. And I dread it like crazy. I don't like him. I don't know what a red eye is. Do you like a lounge at an airport overnight flight? You don't know red eyes. A red eyes that leaves that night. It wakes you wake up the next day in another place. I've done that before. I'm not talking about the holiday and other. Yeah, a lounge. You like a lounge or do you like going to like the sports bar? No, I can't do the sports bar. It's always packed and there's never a seat and it's always a thing. I don't like doing that. Usually the guys know me when we either get to the airport right on time and go right to the fucking gate. I don't like that. Or if I do get there early enough, I will hide away somewhere. We get there and go to breakfast. We mean as a team two hours ahead. See, this is funny. Bobby doesn't want to do this. So Bobby refuses to meet and eat as a team unless he gets to be the king in the court. And then he picks where they where they eat. And they all eat with him. And I usually go by myself somewhere else. We enjoy the palm restaurant and terminal four. Yeah, we don't have Kennedy airport depended. We don't see. Yeah, I can't do it. Bobby wants to hold court. So I let him go do that. It let him take the kids wherever. And then dad goes for his. If we're going on a run, if we're doing like, you know, whatever, like a three night run, four night run or we're doing like a weekend somewhere, it's like the boys are like chomping at the bit. We get there. We all link up. It's like if you get there, God forbid, you get there. Last everybody's in a circle in your wall. It's like you're getting trash. Yeah, you're getting it. I've done that a lot. You come in. If you come in later, you get a little offkilter if you don't, I mean, trying to, trying to really, you know, but no bus. You guys aren't a bus. We've done the bus. But no, I would like to do it one more time, maybe. No, thank you for that. Absolutely. You're done, huh? We really liked it. The economics of it don't always make sense for us. It just doesn't. I don't know. I just don't get it. I don't like it. It's just the best night sleep of a rat. I love it. You could see you. This guy sleep, what? This guy has night here wake up. No, we really thought someone was getting stabbed outside one night. We were in. Where were we and I heard, please stop. No, don't. And I was like, nice hair. I'm dying. I'd like run down to like the living area in my sleep. I sleepwalk. Sleepwalk. Well, that's, I mean, you go to therapy. Yeah, but I haven't had insurance for a few years. So no, what would you have on, you have on cross a shout out to trauma? Let's be careful about this. Huh? We give full, we give full insurance over there at 30 years. We have connected. We get it. We get it. We get it. They get it. Whoa, night tears. And I remember right before I left. I remember talking to my mom on the phone and being like, I tell them about the sleep thing. Yeah, you should have. What have been nice to know? Oh, you didn't know. No, man, we woke up to it. It was crazy. Right when I started working, we woke up to scream panic attack. And I said to him, I said, are you okay, man? What's going on? Is this on the bus? Yeah, not. That's, finally, he was like, hey, brother, I have. Were you asleep at the time? Were you sleepwalking? No, I, it's awake. It's a way that I've woken up many a time, but I woke up. He's covering the driver's eye. Everybody's looking in and Andrew's like, are you okay? Oh my God, dude. I take care of him. Then we made sure he was okay. So then he strapped him to the bed. He couldn't get out. Sure. I had that in a hotel in San Francisco. There was a knock at my door at 2 a.m. There was a 12-year-old Asian boy. You ordered this. No, no, cheaper in San Francisco. We go down to Haydnashberry. I'm in my hotel. An Asian boy just shows up. Crazy. You wouldn't believe it. I believe every second. Knocked on the door. He was sleepwalking. He was on a school trip, an Australian Asian, Australian accent, everything. Look at him. Yeah. Talk about a class again. Thick. That didn't work. No, no, no. The fans, you know what I mean? You're unique. Yeah, yeah, like a fusion flavor. Right. Sure. Right. Like a fusion restaurant. Yes. Tell me you knocked on your own end. What? You let him in? No. I was just happy to be peeing at that exact moment. And I swear to God. And I hear this little faint knock at the door. And I open it. I'm like, yeah. And he goes, I don't know what room I'm in. He's got no shoes on. That's poor kid. You poor kid. He lost. And I'm like, what? And he's like, I was sleepwalking. And I don't know. I didn't. He don't remember what room he went in. And I had heard a woman's voice outside when I was like kind of like, because I had gone to the hotel and fell asleep with all my shit on. You know, you walk in and you pass out. No. And all the lights are on. And no one's ever agreed with me. You don't do that. I mean, a really high on drugs. If I was fucking hammered, I'd done a fall sleep on my couch. I don't. I don't think you were in on drugs that was it after I was not supposed to be on drugs? Now, this was the trip that we were all like pretty sure you're on drugs. You're on drugs. And yeah, that makes sense. Yes. And maybe not on drugs, but don't pitch it as if it's a thing. Everyone goes in their room. And he's still lying to be like, was I not supposed to be on drugs here? Kippy, tell me what lies I'm supposed to keep up to you. The time night terrors. You never walked in a hotel room and like laid down and like, you know, what your jeans on and then just fell asleep. But the hotel room is the most free I've ever been. You're allowed to walk and you get naked immediately. I love getting naked and naked. Well, I get naked. But I don't keep my clothes on and bed. No, thank you. Can't do it. Don't. Street clothes don't go on bed. Although I will say I'm getting a little I've gotten screwed the last couple of times we traveled. I've had double beds instead of singles because they run on a single. I don't mind that. I like that. You know, why I use the one is my dump bed where it's got all my shit on it. Yeah. It's better than that. Muggages are there. It's really nice. I don't need a single bed. Don't need a queen. It's a lot for me. Yeah. I'm good with that, I like a queen. - By except for my wife, if I'm traveling with the lady then I'm like, "Dude, give me the biggest bed you have." - Really? - Yeah man, 'cause we like to sleep not near each other. - I'm the same way. - I can't feel body heat. I'll wake up at night, give me the gap. I want the space. Also we have different sleep schedules. We get home, I get home in a crazy hour. I don't go right to bed. I have to sit in on the couch and watch sports center. I have to snack on something, write a little bit, listen to something, watch something. So by the time I get up there, I don't want to wake her up. So give me the furthest away. If we had two beds in the room, we had a double, like a hotel, we'd love it. - Really? - Push them together when we want a bone. - I'm in an opposite room. - Me and my share now. - Opposite rooms. - Really? - Yeah. - Always? - No. - Probably past three years. - With the baby definitely better. - But now definitely it's more, but like I snored heavy. - She was like it out. - A CPAP? - No. - CPAP? - Baby. - Come on. - She's a CPAP. - No. - That'd be his mom name. - Yeah, I get the resume. - I'm gonna go get the CPAPs, the CPAPs. (laughing) - That's your screen name on on Madden. - I gotta change my filter by filter. - CPAP, CPAP. - Yeah, resume 11. Shout out to it. - What is it called? - Resume 11. - Resume 11, is this a compact one you travel with? - No, but I've seen those. - Let's get him, hey, resume, guys. Let's get him a traveling one, please. I've seen the traveling ones, they're big. - Yeah. - Yeah, they're trying to make him smaller, but they're pretty chunky. - I think what they need to do, first things first, is change the fucking carrying bag to look like something cool. Like a nuclear football. - No. - So what company's gonna be like, yeah, we'll cool it up for your seat. - No, cool of the bag. - Put like Porsche on it or something like that. - You got driving gloves. (laughing) - Sins 38B. - Yeah. - Actually, you know, a luxury company, this could be your, this could be the invention. You make a luxury company that makes CPAP machines that people don't feel bad about driving. - No, all you gotta do is make the bag. - The sleek bag. - Cut this. - Cut it, yeah, guys, don't, let's make sure we don't leak this great invention idea. - I bet you got a lot of invention ideas, don't you? - No, but I just found out something, 'cause I'm looking for an apartment. I just found out, I think this is the greatest idea I've ever heard of my life. We talked about it on our pod. - How good is it? - Okay, you know how like, when you're-- - It's crazy, you're gonna go, it's wild, you're living this kind of life. - Okay, what is it? - You know how like when you were a young guy? - Yeah. - And you were like getting your first apartment. - Sure. - But you didn't have enough credit. - It's exactly. - So who would you call? You call mom and dad. Hey, would you mind being a guarantor on this apartment? - Mark, who's a little shady, he's the guy in the Pinto. - They now have companies that act as a guarantor. You hire the company, you pay them like a months rent. And they'll guaranty, they'll be your guarantor for the apartment building. - They call you the credit line. - Yes. - They get you a bond, I believe they bond it out. - It's a bill bondsman. - You're not wrong. - You're not wrong. - Wait, why? - The bounty hunter's gonna come get him. - Wait, is that what a bond is? That's the same thing as a criminal bond? Like did they come looking for me? - Yeah, they're extending the money to you. That's what you're like, dude, it's simple. I go, they're getting there, I don't know what it is. - I could jump bail on a bond company. - Yeah, gotta get off. The ice bar. - I would love for the dog. - You could and then you'd have a warrant for your arrest. That's how that works. - I mean, your dog's gonna come and get me. - The dog is dead, my dude. - No, he's not. - He's not in service anymore. - Yes, he is. - No, he's not. - Don't you say that. - Somebody who says that. - He won't let that guy in Mexico. - I would love that. - He missed, didn't get caught at brunch. - Nah, well, they cut the dog on D-Day. - He got arrested in Mexico, not a good place to get arrested. - Yeah, they always hit you with that bear spray. - Yeah. - But then he always let you catch a heat in before he took you away. - Well, they got a little gentlemen. - I think that's a gentleman. - That should be in the constitution. - Yeah. - If the out-of-the-boys are out there listening, if I ever get jammed up like that, let the dog come and get me. - I did see a sign there that made me smile. It was a very American front yard. He had a couple of trucks laying out there, some parts all over the place, a couple of lawn chairs, keep off my fucking property signs. And then he had a bumper sticker that said, "I love the constitution." And I thought, "Fantastic." - I love the constitution. - Love it. - And he loves every piece of it. - That's great. - I kind of wanted to talk to him. - Every article. - I wish he was in the yard to be like, "Tell me what you love." "Tell me what you love about the constitution." Just because you know this guy knows every single fucking thing on there. I bet if he asked him, he'd be like, "Yeah, article B, 1425." I bet he had it all loaded up. - Do these real Americans that exist? They're few and far between. - Dude, I gotta buy me, I got a guy, a Vietnam vet, in a wheelchair. I don't think it's like because of that, I think he's just older. - They just give you a wheelchair. - He just, yeah, he just gets it. Dude, and he's out in this front yard. It's so, he get off my yard. - Love. - Like, they, like, they, he's yelling at kids. He's pulling himself around with his kid. - Oh, I don't like that. - You're a character that needs to exist. Like, these kids have to be afraid of someone in the neighborhood. - If you, if you, if you're afraid of someone in the neighborhood. - I'll give you that. - And our kid. - They need that. - They need that. Yeah, you need that Lord of you, like, not Mr. Jenkins. - Okay. - You need that. We all had that, you fucking need that. - That was the same sort of guy. - That was the guy that got, that got Mr. Cataman. He was an old crotchety fuckhead, and he had a bunch of land, and he had a tire swing on his property that was bigger than anything you've ever seen in your fucking life. He wouldn't let anybody in the neighborhood on. - Yeah, it was sneak in there at night. You need a cataman to scare you. - Yeah. - Into not being able to do stuff. - You need that one guy, but everybody can't act like that. - Yeah, no, but you just need a whole guy. - My mom had a no solicitation sign on her door. I was like, "You really have fucking day." - That's because of her past. - Shoo. A couple of customers coming up. - A couple of gentlemen callers. - I do declare I'm not ready for guests enough. - How do you think you got through school, young man? - Your mama showed us care about your school and boy. - It's such a good call. You knew right away where I was. - Yeah. That's one of the greatest things about that movie is that every lovable character did have a dirty little secret. - Oh, yeah. - Including Forrest. - Why would he do? - He was a pervert. - Why? - I'm kidding. - It all came out later. - In his memory. - In his memory. - True thoughts of a pervert. - The Forrest goes through it. - I really love SRAM. - Bill Clinton, but a C-Gawr somewhere. He chewed and-- - No, you need these cast-a-characters to exist in the world because we are growing out of that. Like, our generation, do you know your neighbors? - Yeah. - You do. - I do touchy subject. - To touchy subject. - Why? - 'Cause he has a whole life down there. - He doesn't like how you play this. - I have a house in the suburbs that like, you know, we split time between the city and the suburbs. - Congratulations, you made it. - Thank you. Yeah, that's great. I'm very proud. I'm very, you know, uh-- - Me and Ian are very happy. - It's like our five-year plan to like, you know, move out there. We had a kid and it's like, you know, it's a fixer up there. We're doing work to it and stuff like that. But he don't like that I'm like-- - Suburbanite. - Yeah, he don't like that like people come over-- - It's a very happy form. We may-- - Have you invited him over to the house? - He's been over the house. - Dude, you want to-- - I don't invite it. - How much of a-- - You didn't answer what I just-- - I don't invite it. - Yeah, I said-- - And I like invite it until like, as a social situation. Like, hey, we're having a cookout or a party. You're invited. - Right. - No, it's like, we're on our way to a filly's game to film something or something like that. And I gotta use the bathroom. - And you're allowed to go just in the first bathroom that you can see or you can use any bathroom. - I don't think he would let me defecate in his home. - Wow. - Which I get. - What are you saying? - He's got to go to Old Man Jenkins. - You got a poop. - No, this is what this dick-- Like, he's here, you know, he's sometimes-- - Am I the kid in this story? - You're a cute, lovable guy. He is. - Yes. - He's very charismatic. He's great. That's why you love him. - He's perfect. - He's like a sour patch kid. They're like, you know, those old commercials where he's like, fucking mean to you and then I can win you back. Even the guys on the team go, he's so good at getting you-- Like-- - You do, yeah. - He's an addict. - Well, he's an addict. - He's got an addict, man. - Yeah, he's got to know how to-- - Yeah. - Trick you and to love him again. - But do we get out of the car, dude? We get out of the car. - We're talking about you, by the way. - He gets out of the car, he stands up. - I was thinking if I get money out of you. I just wanted to have it, that was what I was thinking. - I was thinking, don't be high enough. - I see it in your eyes the whole time. After I heard that 15 grand, I went to the bar. - Jokes on you, he already has your bank card. - Yeah, he's gonna be looking. - He's trying to get your pin. - What's your pick? - He goes, how close to City National Bank to here? - What? Hey, we're City National. - What y'all got these two? - You don't have a choice. - You're not personal with City, are you? - No. - Personal is personal's in the mattress. - Respect that. - You know what's funny? - When I was in the throws of addiction last year, I was staying at the City Club Hotel in Manhattan. And I never knew there was a City National Bank branch there. - There's only a few. - Yeah, and I was right down the street from it. And I'm ahead, I'm like, I'm right next to the-- - All the cash. - Yeah. - What would you do? - I don't know. - You couldn't, you couldn't. - It's not my name, so it doesn't matter. - He can't, you couldn't. But what, you don't like that he's a suburban. I'd have bothers you a lot. - Oh, but-- - He has a whole life without me. He's the, me, he's fucking, he's just couples and stuff. - Sorry, not an Ian's basement with you. - That's a good one. - What would you do? - He gets out of the car and he looks at my neighbor's house. Neighbor does well. He's a doctor. - Oh, very nice. - You know, nice, nice, very nice. - Very nice property house, nice piece of property. He gets out of the car, I'm like, do I'm so, I'm so, I'm so happy. I'm so, put the nice house. He gets out and he goes, ah, he was sleeping on the ride down. 90 minute car ride, he fell asleep. - He was drunk. - I'm all fucked up. He gets out and he goes, now that's a nice house and points at my neighbor's house. I'm just like, you can't not be a dickhead. - He's got no mulch. I told him I got down here and did what I do to beds. - I got mulch. - I got mulch. - I edged like the best of them to flip the fucking. We wack it the other way. - What's going on to take care of his house? - Maybe that'll get you an invite extension. - No, you say, I ain't gigging, yeah, yeah. - That's it. - If you think, you think this is how it all goes. I mean, Bobby and I have been to each other's houses a very minuscule amount of time. - Well, do we work together five days a week? We're on the tour in the weekend. It's like the last thing, it's like, it's all, yeah, it's just. - I'm not going to go to your house. - I bought him a pizza oven. A professional pizza oven. - What is it? - It's $75,000. - What does that even mean? - $218 from fucking Home Depot. That I'm pretty sure again, I paid for it. - It was $500. So you paid $250, pretty good deal. - It's for the show. - You bought him a pizza oven, which is a nice gesture when you went in. - For Christmas. - Oh, okay, nice. - And man, we'd go down. He'd make pizza for us. It would be amazing. It would be no, I'm kidding. I never got one fucking slice out of the guy not a garlic not nothing But these other things in the calzone Can you ever make a pie and bring it up to work? No, but these fucking neighbors. They're down there They don't know what to do. He's making them and throwing them away or so many pieces understand He has to ingratiate himself in the neighborhood otherwise. They don't want him around who put me down No, I said ingratiate now. So you know you're coming off like an 18-month bender. Yeah, you haven't been like oh, yeah It's come around and meet my neighbors. I Don't know what that is Bringing a bold shit. I Say this I say we do a family dinner You and your wife are more than welcome to stop by This guy can sleep over and scream is scary. He does sleep at my house sometimes. Yeah, he does I let him I let the team sleep at my house really they've slept at my mom's house They all set up my mother's house in Chicago. We had Thanksgiving. We were on the we were on the road Love that it was giving it was Thanksgiving. Yeah, we were on the road during Thanksgiving We said well beautiful good on my mom's house and my mom with open arms invited them all over to the house How was an old school Irish? No, but you know, so funny is the lot but they we don't like we don't like turkey around my house I think we talked about it. We're not a big turkey family. We do we do like a roast. We like red meat So I don't hate I a roast yeah, we do a roast. Yeah, because I just think like I don't want a turkey No one really like he knows an Irish or Irish Irish doesn't matter. Yeah, and I don't even know you're making a roast Yeah, we like red meat brother. We can't we're not playing this game anymore turkey By the way, that has nothing to do with anything turkey was a big scam from fucking big turkey That's all frankly turkey. No, there's private equity. That's P.E. Turkey. My is it? Yeah, biggie I like to check it. It's all I enjoy turkey. We're we're tread all these lies I don't like it. I don't like turkey because it has nothing to do with anything like all the pilgrims gave in the turkey like So what's the story? I have it he's got large bridge were practical affordable and able to feed entire family Popularized in the 19th century because it was like just cheap. What's the 19th century? 1800s brother. Oh really? I love it. You didn't know that I get confused 20th century 19th century, but then you say the 1800s you're talking about the actual 18 hundreds if you say 1800s That's the 1800s, but if I say the 19th century that is the 1800s Which why would they do that? I don't get out of here like how the fuck do we know that we do we we know we don't they could have done it like that But they did it BCAD it's built back in time now. You got to go. What's that all about before common era? Right there. We're teaching our fans. It's supposed to be before Christ our guy I learned something that's gonna blow your mind the right brothers get all this credit for flying a plane right well I learned that this is all bullshit the right brothers crashed a ton Alexander Graham Bell Look this up Bell was actually the guy that really took real flights across real bodies of water guy Alexander Graham Bell Yeah, he's like your boy. What was your guy's name any with the skinning? No, no joke, Brooks. Shout out to him I know you fucking flying That was good I know you fly I'm on the fuck Alexander Bell apparently invented the the flaps that you see on the side of a plane to level out wing wings during turbulent moments The right brothers crashed the ton and they killed Alexander Graham Bell's assistant I think that was what the story was what what yeah on a flight or No, no, no, no on a flight on a flight. Oh, not on purpose. He died during the Constructions flight. Yeah, something was a test pilot, but apparently they crashed all the time. Do you have to the right brothers But no, no, but yeah, they say it said yeah, orbo right was piloting the tragic 1908 plane crash It resulted in the death of Lieutenant Thomas Selfridge Yeah, you killed him Did you see Alexandra and Alexander Graham Bell in there? It says why I looked at up did they kill his assistant? No, they didn't kill his assistant, but I mean, we'll see what they got an accident with him on the plane Yeah, that was no accident who's the who's the African-American and men are I'm thinking of the guy that made the peanut no no George Washington Carver Carver George Washington Carver had to put the Washington in there. It's probably just George Carver. No, George Washington Carver spiced it up with Washington Yeah, he invented the peanut peanut butter. Yeah, I think that got recently For the bullets play for the bullet. No Washington. What a team what a squad. Why did we get rid of that now? I know it was the greatest team. It was the best best jurors. They moved to Detroit, huh? Okay, cut that I was like, let him have it. Let him have it. I was supposed to be banned. It's better It is true. That's why I bought very good. No, no, that's not why you bomb. Yeah, your bombs are not deliberate What was the last time you took a real fucking hot one? Even at the store working on stuff every corporate gig I've ever done We just did a corporate gig I just said I had a comic joey sorona talked about before Joey and I went up to do a corporate gig of the Reagan library at 1 p.m Who you want to take a library the biggest bag of decks you've ever had in your entire life? It was remarkable. Nice check though, huh? Doesn't matter man. Yeah. Yeah, it does But no, no, but I'm just saying like it's it doesn't it wasn't stand-up. You're like, what is he? What did you guys? Yeah, what was the last time you have you had one at the store or whatever popping around doing a set We're like that just really for it. It could have been late, you know, like I popped in it could have been like a and you're like that Just didn't get off the road a little stinker was I was back in New York and I was doing it the seller run where you're like VU You're at the bar the one out for the best the best night at the at the At the bar and it was no bueno. Yeah, those rooms the top room sometime in the late at the bar in the lounge for they got through 15 comics Yeah, and then so then you go up and you're like, hey, what's going on here that dead last one or something like that? Yeah, we talked about this then time you know he said that the other guy and you're like bars my favorite room. I do love the bar I like the bar. McDougal Street. McDougal's the best. Yeah, I've got there's literally no cold in there like fours hammer in your hand McDougal's the best. It's the best. It's I don't know why it works. It does though because it's like it's one ritz two rows deep Yeah, there's a big mirror you can see yourself. It's like I know I do. It's just it's unlike any other room I feel like war basement people we come from basement. Of course. I feel like it's you're in you're in somebody's basement with a bunch of your friends and you're in your Causing trouble. Yeah, it's like it's a good way to put arms upstairs and you're in on a little dirty little secret with you Like you're telling a nasty little joke and then the other rooms when they get bigger they just kind of lose that like tight knit quiet Or we're up to no fucking good. Yeah, and I love that they're steeped in the dark in there the VU is a little bit brighter and bigger So it's just gonna like showcase. Yeah, it's showcase. So I think the thing that makes comedy sexy Was the old school of deep dark, you know low ceiling like we're in this together That's what I think I like about it like even when people I imagine when fans sit down in there even they're like Yeah, they're buzz cuz it like this is fun. It's right there. Yeah, I can touch the bar and the lounge feel like work out rooms there Yeah, they're more like I like for for that reason. Yeah, but that one feels like we're in we're getting in trouble in someone's basement We're about to do something we're not supposed to do. Yeah, I bet someone at school tomorrow. I love I love that room Touch each other's weeners. Well that we don't do that we don't do and we talked about that last time we slept over you got kicked out Sorry That's right. It is nice. There isn't a day Well, that's why when we had when we had sleepovers with buddies if it was a couple of guys always you couldn't go to sleep Because someone fuck with the moment that you went to sleep You were getting balls or an asshole on your face. Mm-hmm. You're getting farted on you or you know, or if you're really cruel You'd get blanket over the head or pillow over the head. Mm-hmm. See if you could survive. I have bad memories of most sleepovers because I had Undiagnosed anxiety when I was a kid when I was always the last one to go to sleep in the first one to be up and it sucked That sucks. Oh, it's sad dude. Yeah, we've got there. You're drinking coffee. Yeah, it's up to them. We talked about that Yeah, that's like the first time I smoked pot in my buddy's my buddy's mom's basement We got caught smoking pot in the basement. Of course, we didn't know. We're blown up thinking that we thought that was gonna get out You know and she the next day she got donuts for us for breakfast almost as a I caught you I'm gonna tell but have the donuts and then go home to your parents who I've already spoken to like we were in trouble Sure, but it was like a nice send-off. That's that's dog the badger. They're giving you a cigarette before in the show Yeah, like dog the bounty hunter. Yeah, she did She knew what we were up to no good, but her and I her son and For years we did drugs together. So it's not like it did my thing That's fucking cool. Yeah, first time I spoke to me that reminds me the cat was I went to his slip over the kids house I met him. We're in seventh grade. I just met him like he came from different elementary school. Whatever he sounds like a loser I didn't make me any pizza And he's like yeah, we but we you know whatever we bought a twenty five dollar aeth or something like that and I had the plug, you know what I mean? And He goes come over. I smoke weed all the time. We can sneak out of my house. It's easy. So yeah, I go over I'm running the dude and I know Joker in his basement and his parents literally come down and they go hey 9 o'clock lights out and Literally, they physically turn the lights off and we're sitting in the dark and I'm like hi shit No, we had even I'll go how fuck are we supposed to smoke like there's like a warden here Like it's not like it's like you're like Lucy Goosey fucking their drunk and we can sneak out He was right. It's fine. We had a whisper He's are holding your hand. Yeah, but we had a wait till the morning. We went out when it got light out He's like cuz like we kept here in the parents and a pop can an apple. How'd you do it? I think like a tenor like out of just like ten I think that's what you called it. I think that's what we call it a tenor smoke a tenor. What do you guys from 18th century England? What did you call it? Tinfoil bowl or soda can. I'm sorry. Yeah, pop can we Pop can poke some holes in that thing. Yeah, there are two different things to a tenor Yeah, smoke a tenor we use it for the cap make a Imagine how silly that was we're just burning aluminum and huffing it. Yeah, everybody will say you get arthritis in your like gives you arthritis And all simers it gives you yeah, sure, which sometimes life's gonna give you that anyway Yeah, sometimes I I don't use water in my CPAT machine and I forget to turn the heater off So it just heats up this metal plate inside. That's good. I don't think so Earnestly, I don't think it is bad and then I realized I could turn it off So I started doing that because I don't like the water in it now how much sleep apparatus do you have do you sleep with like a do you also have like a heating pad or do you have many things well I don't know many you know I go I go pillow between my legs pillow behind me I cuddle a pillow and I have my CPAP on and then I put a sign fold on it on my phone and go to sleep the laser like the yeah what's the deal with pillows yeah that's the deal it used to be Empire Strikes Back it was what I I would always start it's your to go to sleep yeah what do you do to go to sleep I'll usually a pod of some I like a couple of cocktails yeah usually like a pod probably because I need to I need something otherwise my brain starts going to fucking badlands so I'll just like a pod on yeah and I look like a couple of minutes and I'm out that's you put a pot in the headphones it depends if the white headphones no way that's crazy oh that's right is that a sugarberg no we love it it's great who made the first call who said you know I did because I get it I would snore and she'd be like she'd be like shake me and I go well this sucks yeah I'm not gonna now I'm like anxious snoring right and then I went separate rooms no yeah I need to feel someone someone else's body there but do we get suck better night's sleep Ian the rats and spiders so you know so you have to have a pod on to fall asleep yeah like especially in a hotel what's pod a choice like science pods or like no anything I'll do the only ones I the only one I really listen to any more and it's really only when I whiskey ginger and bad friends whiskey ginger of course you got no honestly no what do you listen to it will be like Tuesday's with stories oh with those with yeah with Mark and with Mark and Joe what was the problem he was in sleep yeah he should be asleep it's snowing shit I never heard he does it again I do it all time go fully careful the couch might be in pain it's like he's in a room I couldn't go to sleep to that that for that would kill me well gee we just got back out of town I was fucking awesome the fucking listen to that yeah I can't do the voice to kill me that's the part we use listen to when we were like open my well that's like there's like a thing really we don't really there was something we tell them that all the time like there was something so cool of like they were you know obviously a few classes ahead of us as we're like open micers are like we're like barking out in front of the fucking village lantern and they'd be like oh they're doing this spot there and then they got opened in there right around doing yeah it was opening up for Schumer we're like oh we want to put ourselves in a position to be like where those guys all like in the next five years I used to sit there in my little desk and I would eat dollar hamburgers from it from Burger King and listen to their pot on like a Saturday Saturday evening you know I used to do that that's so funny man that was my run Burger King was always my run fuck yeah yeah I get the dollar cheeseburgers when I would do like a run of shows when I was running around I would always get that it's cheapest easy thing you get a bunch of them keep it moving Burger King shout out to them for doing that dollar cheese does not around anymore not a dollar man are they now he's got a big he's been pushing he's he's he's he's got a big Burger King he's a big Burger King guy what do you got a campaign with Burger King no I can I tell him please it was mostly you just telling me all the time our country America greatest is that it's coolest when Burger King and Pepsi Cola are number one and you could trace that back through time that's when we're at our coolest what are you talking about our coolest also everybody just agrees with it and he's gonna want to go wait what are you talking about is that even mean and I kind of now I'm now I'm starting to see the holes in the thing when Pepsi Cola is number one market share not about market share but when it's pop when it's when it's popular when Pepsi's in when Pepsi's in Pepsi's in Pepsi in now no burger is coming back though no they're not okay so you think no one okay give me a time frame Burger King won't come back in tool until there's not one the fall of Rome when was the dot com era not one fucking jalapeno fried jalapeno fucking fried onion Texas whopper bullshit you gotta get rid of all that and they got to change their pickles because you bite their pickles and everything comes out the whole thing like a drawer it all comes out this why I'm not a fan of tomato on a cheeseburger tomato has no room on it really understand but it could be done here could be done can yeah I got to have a real good fresh tomato you're not gonna get to know who sold them does that McDonald's always number one you're only gonna find it tomato tomato tomato I only get the big Mac anyway from McDonald's so I'm not interested in they don't have tomato on there it's brilliant just superior product the big Mac is is will will continue to be the number one fast food burger in the world it's got to be the most sold they're revamped quarter pounder but Jesus very good oh you ain't lying sister with the different kind of onions let's keep the cheese is very good there's no doubt about that yeah okay so give me the lineup yeah best burger best fries best best uh McDonald's fries isn't even touching it so what burger would you have you'd have a Burger King burger with McDonald's fries and a drink from where well this is this might be a niche thing but McDonald's does it about to go so damn McDonald's does a daily double which is two patties ding ding ding you're a fatties how much is your wager four hundred pounds show me falling they do a daily double which is just mayonnaise let us tomato no pickles two burger patties and one slice of cheese that was a part of my rotation when I was in uh in the throes of yes fast yeah it was part of the cycle but you're not eating fast food anymore he told me that you're off the fast food no I have it every once in a while oh yeah we're talking thank you for the vote of confidence no but that listen you know what I'm talking about I do you do know I'm talking about I understand what you're trying to put the Burger King in the passion because I don't even know so give me the time period that last Pepsi and Burger King were high and it was the coolest time I think it's more of a feeling I don't think he's got numbers on it it's in your gut it's like the summer of 93 when burger buddies were big I do when wild cherry Pepsi got popular right Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi and Burger King Pepsi had a revolution it did the choice of a new generation Burger King had a hiccup with the crown and the guy in the airplane that really kind of set him back yeah he didn't do a lot yeah he just didn't do a lot of funny they still sell those crown they still have those crowns they think they get rid of him for a little while there's one at LAX every time I get on a flight I see some an adult man with a crown and I'm waiting for him to say it's a problem just get your phone out when you see a guy with a crown out if we saw this guy in the plane yesterday young kid I mean probably in his 20s look like a kid that he wanted to smash his face in he was wearing a captains hat on backwards yeah like a kid you know like the boat captain had like a yeah like an old like a like a like from caddy shack what he was yeah with the anchor on it like Johnny cool guy and he wore backwards backwards young guy on a flight on a fucking Jay Trains kind of little flight isn't doubt the one probably a rich kid yeah obviously I heard a phone call he was having he was like yeah one of the three of us loop up to get our sync up together and hop on a call those words like circle back yeah and you know let me let me let me ping you and what you know what that is that's private equity that's all P talk to each other good with that. That hat is actually not on his fuck that hats a signature of private equity they hand that to you when you get involved with P.A. he's private equity that's good that's all right yeah replace that replace the bullets joke with that one if we can solve that that bullet joke was supposed to do Mark no more voice and I'm back in do it can you do it can be comedy hey come back in Santino you're out I'm back with that hey comedy yeah that's really good all right that's really good his points are always that's that would bet first got me when I first what when when I see him do the point uh-huh hey I couldn't do it when he was in the news if he would jump on the news yeah I don't know a little gay little hungover yeah crocodile's indeed I'd have to hear him again crikey Paul Hogan yeah bad after hearing all that in life he has he pulled out of life that wasn't bad are you a comedian no he wishes no he does not wish at all he does not he's the opposite side he's making art he's an artist he's a little art school kid you know you got art school where'd you go Brad FIT I went to Columbia Chicago the other Columbia it's a film school it's not the real ivy hmm who needs ivy school who needs ivy league is it only the company got an ivy leader that cuts what it works for us who is there associated with Columbia who does he do for you no they have not a lot of things a lot of things are named Columbia because of Columbus uh really is that what Columbia is called Columbia I don't think so but let him say that what is what wait who does the ivy league mark the shark that kid went to one no that's the he's that's that's new guy Luke he went to Penn State he went to Penn State marked the shark but he's a rich kid and a sharp kid marked the shark work I went to Cornell yeah we got a guy from Cornell working there his real name is not marked the shark either it's Ryan many many we already have a Ryan that works in the office I went to Cornell and then he works for you guys yeah it's pretty cool right that's very well yeah Cornell get that money back man what did you go to school for economics or something like that yeah I don't know or maybe private I put a communications no I don't know I'm pretty sure these I'm pretty cool for accounting no he didn't what does he do for you guys he's an editor editor-producer kind of guy this is the world we're living in now it's crazy he's great yeah shout out to mark the shark somebody shout out to the shark happy I went to state school he just got engages getting married you guys gonna be there I don't know so we got invited to a little engagement thing yeah we couldn't go yeah oh you didn't go we couldn't yeah you probably will not get invited to the big show then no yeah you got a show up for batting I wasn't in a position to be going to we're giving anybody oh Pierre Robert Konichi wa hey hey buddy what do you love you and tires by the way oh my god get out of here with this guy somewhere. What? You're good today. Yeah. Yeah. Is that what that translates to? Yes. That's the kind of stuff that gets you 30 years in the biz. Bobby Lee ladies and gentlemen. Bobby Lee, Bobby Lee just pays a huge show. All right, we get we got to wrap soon. So we love it. We'll make fun of that little folks. Yes. Idiot loser. Can we plug our special plug the fuck out of it? We got a special honor you to what? Very business very smart. Yeah, you got it. You're still going to pay a little guy out of your fucking Delta one. I got to plug this. We got to plug a special. You should on YouTube. We're tape. We're fucking taking on the old school. I'll plug it at the top of the show too. Thanks. Just so we make sure we book it. You should have done the old school thing. We're like you're plugging on private equity. I mean, I'm here to plug a special to the old schoolers. Our risers, what you're talking about. I tell you, we had him on the fucking hate it up. Really? Yeah. Why? I'm here to I'm here to plug a movie guys. We've had some people on the show that really wanted to get off the show, didn't we? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we had a couple right now. That's baby. I'm moving. We had a cup. We had a guy that literally goes, how long do we do this for? It was like 36 minutes? Are we about done? And I was like, what the fuck? Did you release it? Yeah, fuck yeah, it's out there. I would move in here tonight. We're working. We're working. We're getting a little bit. We, you know, obviously, we, this is where we're now the six year of the show. It's been a while. The special American garbage on our YouTube channel. It's all AYG, the live show, the live portion of our. From the sides, but it's in Tampa. Yes. That's very good. The audience asks their garbage questions. And we shit on them have a good time. It's, you know, they share their story. It's a great American garbage is on the YouTube channel. It's on their channel. We'll link it down in the description down below. Go see the boys. They're two of the greatest comedians, podcasters and family men and basement dwellers that we've ever seen in our entire life and neighbors. And they're good neighbors. They're neighbors. They're neighbors neighbors with a name. Guys, look into that camera right there at your leisure one, one after the other. Say one word or one phrase to end the episode. I know you lying. Private equity. In here we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. Oh, that creature in the gingerbread. Sturdy, ginger, like that has the ginger gene is a catch. Ginger's a fugitive. You only five dollars for the whole ginger's our hell now. Swisky news. Excellent. Ginger, I like ginger.