Kevin Costner + Art Alexakis (Carolla Classics)

The new college of pro football season is upon us and BetOnline has you covered with the best odds in live and in-game betting on all your favorite teams. Head to BetOnline today to stay updated on all the action. BetOnline, the game starts here. One of the things I love most about the day is that during dinner time when we're all in the kitchen, we love to listen to music and like dance while we eat. I mean, it's probably a bad habit for my kids, but I love it. And we love listening to Amazon music. Like that's where we go for like our dance sessions around our kitchen counter. But you can also on Amazon, listen to podcasts, audio books. I've seen that they have Verity. They have A Court of Thorns and Roses, Project Hail Mary, making it easy for you to listen to your favorite books or podcasts, music, podcasts, audio books, all in one app. Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fans like the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. If you'd like to gain access to the entire archive of the Adam Corolla show, as well as the Adam Dr. Drew show and the newer podcast, Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's Substack, adamcorolla.substack.com. Sign up, subscribe, listen ad-free. All right, let's get to the clips. Come up first today, we have Adam Corolla's Substack. Adam Corolla's Substack is a Adam Corolla show 1181, Art Alexakis from Everclear, along with Noel Bitterman, Alison Rosen, and Brian Bishop from 2013. Yeah, man. O'Reilly, love these guys. Going to get into it with O'Reilly because I got a car race coming up in about six or seven weeks. It's time for prep. You want to keep your car on the road, you do it with O'Reilly. There's not many issues I can't figure out, but if I can't, I always go to O'Reilly. I can't figure out what's going on. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online, so you never worry if you're in a jam. They'll also test your battery for free, and if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one-stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly, right, Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at OReillyAuto.com slash Adam. That's OReillyAuto.com slash Adam. Good day, Allison Rosen. Hello, Adam Carolla. And the bald Brian. Oh, crap. Well, I have a great one lined up, but I missed it. All right. It'll be back. I'll tell all you people that our guest today, Noel Bitterman, he's a guy who started Ashley Madison and Cougar Life and a bunch of others. There's some gay ones in there. Oh, yeah. I'm ready to be said hello to now. Ah, hello, bald Brian. Several people that aired yesterday have requested that one. Nate Dogg was the first to get in on Twitter with the hashtag top drop. You sound like a lady saying, okay, I have my face on. Art Alexakis from Everclear and Beyond is in here as well today. Good to see Art. So much to talk about. First off, the sty that I had in my eye basically just blew up on late Sunday night and is basically just sort of was weird. I was skipping rope and style watch 2013. Yeah. And the whole time I was skipping rope, I was like, boy, my eyes really tearing up. It just felt like it was tearing up, tearing up, tearing up. And then when I've done skipping rope, I look in the mirror and look like a pigeon shit on my eye. And I was like, I'm disgusted, but also kind of turned on. I know. Me too. And then I love things that ooze. Me too. It ooze. And then it just went and then it immediately sort of popped back into shape. Like it's a little red now, but you can't really, can't really tell. It didn't hurt at all? No, no. Oh, it's so disgusting. It's awesome. Yeah. I love it. So sty watch, there's a report on that. Also, a couple of things. So I was thinking about art. And Everclear, because art and Everclear are some of my earlier memories of breaking into radio, being on K-Rock, just sort of sitting in this house that I'd rented with three dudes and calling into Kevin and Bean and training Jimmy to box. And on the radio, Brian, we would hear. Sorry, dude, I was editing a drop. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. Could have never seen this coming. Never. Except for the part where I said. So I was like, this would just be playing. And a lot of these songs are meaningful to me because I would be on hold at like 645 calling into K-Rock, calling into Kevin and Bean. And when they tell you to hold and you'd hear basically one song while you're on hold or the second half of a song and your heart would just be beating because when they would come on the air, you know, as soon as art was done singing, you'd just come back and there you'd be. And in the early days, I was like handshaking, holding my Mr. Burcham script in front of me, standing in the bathroom. It's hard enough for you to read anyway. Oh my God. I couldn't even read my own words. The words are moving. But then later, when I got in over at K-Rock, I was thinking about this old bit. I don't know why. It's a bit called Dingo. Dingo Boy. I don't think I've ever really gotten into it over here. I think my wife was telling me how cheap Disney was. And I was like, oh yeah, they're fucking notoriously cheap. And then I said a few years ago, they came to me and they said, you want to do an animated project, like a kid show? And I started thinking about it. And then I thought, oh, Dingo Boy. Oh, Dingo Boy is great. Dingo Boy is a serial character. That I did. I did it on stage at the Acme Theater for a long time and then I carried it into K-Rock and it would just be a weekly. Me and Jimmy used to produce these. Jimmy, by the way, was cutting the tape, putting it on his thigh, cutting it against, putting it together with scotch tape and just literally editing this stuff with a reel, like putting headphones on and going, and then like cutting it again. It's crazy. We'd be there at like four in the morning. We'd get all the guys to like lay down their voices. And I think him and me and Clito did, well, me and my friend Paul Rudd wrote the song many years ago. Sounds like Paul Rudd, but it's Rugd. And he's the guy who had the idea for Dingo Boy. And I was Dingo Boy and this is on stage. So years later, when I went to, what got me on to Dingo Boy is we're talking about what? Super fucking cheap company Disney was. And then I went through like a year's worth of meetings with these guys. And I finally just said, Dingo Boy. And I played him. I don't know, Gary, do we have the opening song? People like the opening song of Dingo Boy. It tells a story. It really does. I think, yeah, I think the Incredible Hulk, like David Banner. Found by wild dingoes in the outback they lived in. His parents had been murdered and now dingoes are his kin. Dingoes taught him hunting and dingoes taught him pride. Dingoes made his diapers out of gopher hide. Run, run, Dingo Boy. Run, run, Dingo Boy. Dingo Boy. Oh, run, run, Dingo Boy. Wow. That was even the short, that's a short opening. We have, we have the full one. Yeah. Give me just a moment. Oh, okay. There's a windier one. I mean, a longer one. There's one where he grew into adulthood and his memory drifted back. His human nature told him it's time to leave the pack. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. He's Dingo Boy. And somebody killed his parents when they were on an archeological dig in Australia. And he was raised by dingoes. But now he has to find the man who killed his parents. And, you know, he'd wander into a town, he'd find love. But he'd also find trouble too, like, like Cain from Kung Fu. Kung Fu, drifting. Yeah, he'd drift. And then at the end of the episode, he'd have to leave town hot on the trail of the, the, the man who killed his parents. So they would never get to those, those guys. Did he exhibit dingo qualities? Oh yeah. He, you know, he was a, he was half man, he was half dingo. Oh. That's, that's, that's raised by dingoes. You know, he had a lot of dingo qualities. If you were raised by dingoes. Yeah, I'd be more dingo than Allison. Right. In Orange County. Right. I don't see dingoes. Yeah, it's the whole thing. He was, he was, he was. I rode with them. Probably about three, two, three. Third's dingo. Okay. What did he look like? He was easy on the eyes, as I recall. It was an in-shape version of me in like a fur loincloth with like fur wristbands and fur and like a dingo nose and a dingo and like a wig or something, like a wild man wig. We didn't have any. He didn't look like anything because we did him on the radio. Right. But you said you'd done him on stage as well. She was as much as we could put together for, you know, 18 bucks in the party store. I think. In the dingo section? Actually, the dingo boy's like diaper was basically made out of the troll outfit that was from a sketch from like a year earlier. We cannibalized Mark Dropman's troll outfit and made it into dingo boy's sort of cuffs and diapers. And he had like ankle. He had a little Chippendales in him, quite honestly. I'll bring in a picture. A little Barbarella. A little Barbarella for the ladies. I'll attract a female demo. Yeah, that's right. I'll bring him. Yeah. Yeah. And all we got was Fred Willard in the audience, by the way. And then my grandparents, another show. 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Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. For more information, visit mengotomars.com. At some point. The point is, we can, yeah, just play the short intro and roll it in with Siegfried and Roy. I came in, we held our breaths, pushed the button, and this is what happened. Hold on a second. I should tell everybody that the reason, and the reason we found these things is because it was a syndicated thing, which is they would sell these to other radio stations all over the country. I wasn't even aware of, really. I would get paid a little bit. And so, this is from the Bob Lasseter show, and I don't know where Bob Lasseter was. The point is, every once in a while, people would recognize Dingo Boy in, like, Kentucky, and I wouldn't even know how they knew it, and it's because they would take the segment and syndicate it, sell it as content. Yeah, they do that with morning shows all over, you know, stand-alone segments and characters and such. Right, and so the way you used to be able to make a living back in the day is you'd take your character, Mr. Bird. Or maybe Jimmy the sports guy, or Paul the 55-year-old intern, or whatever we were doing back then, and you'd go to a syndicator, and you'd record it, and you'd sell it at, like, 50 bucks a pop. But, you know, it was better than selling the blood or the semen, or as I like to mix them and make, like, a thousand island. Oh, I could get more. It's Russian dressing. Yeah, I'd be like, good news, fellas. Not only am I going to save you some time, huh? Why all the long faces? I mix the semen and the blood. Come on! All right. Oh, he's in Tampa. So, anyway, I think this is, I can't remember who all was in this. Probably my roommate, Ralph, at the time, and Jimmy Kimmel at the time. And this is Dingo Boy meets Sigfried and Roy. Followed by wild dingoes in the outback they lived in. His parents had been murdered, now dingoes are his kin. Dingoes taught him hunting, and dingoes taught him pride. Run, run, dingo boy. Run, run, dingo boy. Dingo boy, oh, run, run, dingo boy. Hmm. Las Vegas, city of neon and cheap buffet. Here I will find a man that killed parents and maybe pick a poker. Welcome to the Slots of Fun snack stand. May I serve you? Give me six jumbo dog, three chili fry, and a bowl of soda. That'll be 85 cents. Freud, look over there. It's a perfect specimen of an albino doggy boy. He's beautiful. Let's go speak with him. Hello, doggy boy. I am Sigmund. And I am Freud. And together we are Sigmund and Freud. Hmm. Yes, I see billboard. Magic men who enjoy men. And tanning. And we tan men. What want with dingo boy? We want you to be star of our newest illusion, caged passion. Rather wear poodle collar. Oh, doggy man, don't shut your eyes to the wonderfulness of magic. I have name. It's dingo boy. I must go to find man who killed parents. Hmm. If you help us, we'll make him magically appear. Freud, we cannot do that. You're wrong. I am right. You are wrong. I am right. You are wrong. I am right. You are wrong. You are wrong. Oh, we are both right. Oh, you're so correct. Keep kissing. Hurry up, doggy man. It is show time. Hmm. Ladies and gentlemen, the Mirage Hotel Casino Dairy Farm Tanning Beds Hair Salon at Batting Cage is pleased to present. This is genius. Oh, that's Jimmy, too. The 58,116th consecutive sold-out night of pretentious magic from the astounding and effeminate Sigmund and Freud. Their newest unwilling animal captain, Bingo Boy. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the magic. Say, Freud, we seem to be missing our newest friend. Perhaps he is at the groomers. Wait a minute. Perhaps he is there, stuck in the buttocks of your pants. Oh, if not, I wish that was true. And now, kapoof! Where is he? Kapoof! That is the doggy boy. There is doggy boy. There's a stagehand available. Doggy boy. There's the little doggy man. He's in the back. Well, at this particular point, we have to bring down the volume of Bingo Boy. Even though you're a big boy or girl. Someone's got to listen to these things. I thought it was about the end of it anyway. Who were the voices of Sigmund and Freud? That was Ralph, I think. That was Ralph and Jimmy. Ralph Garman. That's why I kept saying Ralph and Jimmy. Sorry for being a douche. But that Jimmy. Yes, I didn't. Sorry. Sorry. Misunderstood. No, no. Maybe I'm. I'm not. I'm being a douchey tonight. Sorry. All right. Yeah, Jimmy was doing. Don't be so hard on yourself, man. Well, it was. I don't mind it. I said it a few times, didn't I say, Ralph? Jimmy's doing the voice? Yes, but I wasn't. I wasn't clear that it was of them doing. I knew Ralph was in there somewhere. I wasn't sure who was doing what. Oh, okay. You pointed out that Jimmy had done the. Like, welcome to the. Welcome to the slots and the announcing stuff, so I was still unclear on those two. But. Sorry, my mistake. No, no. But at the top, I said, Jimmy's doing the Siegfried and Roy, right? Or did I not say that? Did he say. I don't. You said this is Jimmy and I think Ralph. But did he say specifically that they were the voices of Siegfried and Roy? No, but you could tell, probably. Well, I could. No, no. I said he was doing the voice of them. I didn't catch that. Oh, all right. Now we've got to listen to the tape. Ah, Jesus. Our own tape? Go listen to our own tape. We definitely said it. Now we've got to figure it out. All right, after the break. All right, anyway. Yeah, that was Jimmy. What I was trying to do is do, when they were doing the voice, I'd go, Jimmy. Just so you'd think that was, you know, but I didn't want to step on the dialogue. You did like two or three voices, right? Yeah, I did the announcer. Yeah. All right. Anyway. It's my fault. I told Mike like nine hours ago, find some of those things. I don't know what he did. He went to Giovanni or something like that. Anyway, we'll find some clean versions of it. I'd never heard Dingle Boy before. It was. I'd heard of him, but never ever heard. You know what I mean? It's never come up in the years of, you know, the radio show or podcast for sure. It's a weird thing. I never. I never. I never got into it. And I don't know, Jimmy never brought it up and somehow it just went away. But there's probably 20 episodes floating around out there. And I think Jimmy's voice, at least two or three voices on almost all of them. And they're pretty funny little, weird little flashbacks. And by the way, that's what Jimmy was doing. As I always say, he was. Jimmy the sports guy, but he was doing all that producing stuff, like long form stuff. Like those things took days to put together because of all the different voices and all the editing and all the. Nothing was on a computer back then and so on and so forth. And, you know, if you wanted to add music or do the theme song or something, it was like you couldn't just open your laptop and knock it out back then. And that's why Jimmy is where Jimmy is today because he's got a. He's got a motor in him. All right. We got some people on the phone. Somebody. Oh, yeah. Matt, the porcelain punisher, find a lair. I pulled up today and I saw a car parked in the parking lot with a vanity plate. Hmm. Hmm. So my spidey sense was tingling. And I said, who's got the Lexus with the vanity plate? Which you can see up on the screen. You can see it at amcroller.com. Underdog. Mm-hmm. And the frame says, there's no need to fear. Underdog is here. Right. So I said, someone was like in the bathroom at the time. So I was like, who do I got over here with the vanity plate? And should we just torch the place and run now? Or what's going on? One of Dr. Drew's kooky guests coming by here, hanging out, stealing my money. What's going on? And he said, no, I drove my dad's car. Oh, wow. And I said, oh. His dad, the underdog. Now, it's funny. You've tried to come in here two times. Once in your dad's car, once in your dad's shoes. And each time, I've had questions. What's up? Pretty soon, he's just going to start showing up instead of me. I just, he tried wearing his dad's Wilson shoes in here once, and I had a lot of questions. Wasn't underdog a cartoon character in the 70s? Yes. I remember seeing him as a child and being confused. Dingo Boy was on at 9 on Saturdays, and then an underdog at 9.30. So I want to know what was going on with that car and that plate out there. Of course. And he said, dad, and then he explained that his dad's attorney, and he fights for the little man and stuff like that. And I had a nice laugh. And then, and then he said, you're not going to want to know my mom's vanity plates. And I said, He is underdog? Overdog? There are, there are ones, as I've said, you know, my relationship with my parents is half whatever I have with my parents, and then the other half is when I would, I've been in the office with Jimmy when he got like a Easter card from his mom sent to him as an adult from Arizona and went like, you get Easter cards from your mom? Oh, yeah. And it'd be like, what? And, you know, when people say like my, my attorney once said that he was taking a cruise with his mom and I was like, oh my God. He's like, why? We've been planning it for years. Whoa. I drowned myself. You know? And he's like, no, this is, I like my mom. We're staying in the same room. And I was like, oh my. And he was like, why? And so half, half my feelings toward my parents are when I hear other people's stories about, oh yeah, me and my dad, we hiked the John Muir Trail together when I was 19 or something. I go, holy shit. My dad wouldn't give me a ride to fucking Van Nuys. What are you talking about? Your mom's vanity plate reads, what? Matt, the porcelain punisher fondelaire? It is Matt and Beck, which is my sister's name. And she's a Becky or? Oh, she just goes by Rebecca. Becca. Rebecca. Yeah. Okay. All right. So she took your two names and combined them. I am the older. That's why you're first on there. Exactly. Yeah, because alphabetically, you ain't going to win that battle. Wow. Now, all right, we can all agree, secretly jealous. I mean, just like the person that yells, excuse you. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Because she clearly has a lot of pride in being mother to Matt and Beck. Right. And Matt didn't turn out to be self-entitled pile of shit. Wow. It's just a garden variety pile of shit. There's still time. I'll take it. You know, basic run of the mill. Yeah. Pile of shit. But he's not the super self-entitled. Generic pile of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, Matt turned out to be a really thoughtful, really good guy without a whole bunch of attitude. Oftentimes, these parents, they crank out little monsters. But, but still, the two, the vanity plate. Now, is that something you're sitting on? Of course, he has to have been. You know, he offered it up readily when I asked him about the underdog plate. Well, at a certain point, you caught me on the underdog. I figured, we may as well just do this now. Before I send one of my minion over to the house. Exactly. I had the option of which car I was going to take, you know, because I swapped with my parents. And I was like, there is no way that I'm showing up here with Matt and Beck. And I, almost didn't even park the underdog car in this parking lot. But I figured, no matter what I did, there would be a lot of questions. There were a lot of questions. Yeah, now. It must be nice to be in that kind of work environment. It feels great. Where you can just be yourself and focus on what you have to get done. You don't have to be terrorized by your boss. Now, oh, listen, interrogated and terrorized are not the same fucking thing. Look it up, man. They both have terror. I sweated him for a couple of fucking light details about his family. That's all. And, I, now, there were, four or five other cars in the parking lot and I, he didn't park, like, in front of the door. I park where I park, which is past that. And I got out of my car and I just, it's like, somebody hit a bass drum and hit me the Klieg light. Just, boom. And I just went like, what? Now, is, would everyone else just walk past it or what would, what would everyone else do? No, I noticed when there's a different car in the loft, you know, we have the same general cars. Okay. I walked in and immediately said, who's underdog? Okay, good. Absolutely. All right. I also told him that he should have swapped it out with a paper plate that we have at the house. He said that was wildly elaborate and I said, no, it's not. And you mean paper dealer's plate, by the way. I just have some spare dealer's plates. Right. Smart. All right. Why do you have spare dealer's plates? For when people have to come to work. Yeah, because Kevin Henge got burned for his, like, fading out. So I changed mine out every, like, three, four months. Quickly, quickly, the tip. If you don't put your license plate on, you're far less likely to be pulled over. It's not science. It's just kind of where cops are at. I'm telling you, I drove around with the yellow McKenna Audi thing, you know, cardboard. It's not a dealer plate. It doesn't say dealer on it. It just says McKenna Audi on it. And it looks like you just bought the car. I'm in year two of my dealer plate. Good. A, you don't have to put a front license plate on, so you don't get the intersection camera lights. They want to give you tickets for no front license plate. It's a nice fuck you to the man. But then do you, what's, do you have to remove the something that's up front? No, you can. It depends. Different cars are different, but you don't have. have to put the front license plate on which stops the intersection camera tickets it's a subtle fu to the man and you get pulled over i'd say 41 less of the time with that dealer plate i have everyone in my life do this my buddy kevin hench was doing it and the cop said i could tell the cardboard was faded i could tell it'd been sitting on your car for too long like they give you two months and then the dmv sends you the plates in the mail and you put them on the car but if it's faded then you're actually screwing up your own logic so the deal is is tell mine didn't fade i leased the car for four years and turned it in with the mckenna to mckenna with the mckenna thing on it was proudest day of my life i've said a second only both of my twins but uh hench got busted so what everyone needs to do is go to your local whatever dealer they don't care they'll take the advertising put it on your car and put your hard plates off your car and you'll get pulled over less is that the white man's version of leaving the sticker on the new hat like forever you know like yeah certain youth will wear the sticker on the hat forever the tags the tags on the hat first off i know we stole almost everything from the from the black man but mini pearl started that many years ago on hee-haw of all shows and correct and the black man ripped off the white whitey on the tag on the hat wow powerful we're taking it back that's right we're taking the time now we're gonna take the tag back on behalf of mini pearl from uh all things uh hee-haw i don't know find a picture of mini pearl with her hee-haw hat on uh giovanni yeah from florida yes what's going on you had a question about super hymie yes um i recently saw the movie and there was an interview where um doug benson was talking to silver silverman and the green room and they're talking and then silver sarah happens to mention that you stole her vaporizer and i wanted to know if that's true is there a little story behind that i also tweeted you the video so i don't know if you've seen it uh i think she was kidding she came to my house and brought her own vaporizer which by the way that means you like to smoke weed um i uh it's kind of like when marilyn manson said i got you a present i said what is it he says it's absinthe and i said oh that's legal and he said ah there's mini there you go and i said uh yeah i don't know if it's legal and he said oh yeah it's not really legal but it's from amsterdam and i said oh all right well cool thank you and i like set it down and he went we're gonna try some and i went like this was on the air on loveline by the way and i said yeah i guess i could try some you know and the next thing you know he drank it all so sometimes when people want to do stuff stuff they bring their own gifts you know someone bringing their own wine product to a football sunday or to some event or something like that going i got you a gift and then they open it up and then they pound the whole thing name on it so hey for example well yeah i wanted to drink manganese so i bring it with me jesus christ i didn't get i didn't offer it up as a gift i don't know if it's a gift to my gullet so um sarah brought her vaporizer to my house and i think we both vaporized on it as i recall and then problem with bringing things to the house that get you stoned is you tend stoned when you leave yeah it's the uh it's the opposite of an attache case attached with with handcuffs it's the opposite of that it you go into a part of the house that doesn't have a lot of traffic like you don't have a lot of traffic and you don't have a lot of traffic and you don't have a lot of you don't pull out the vaporizer on the patio while everyone's standing out there drinking beer you go can we go to your bedroom and next thing you know you're upstairs in some side room and then vaporizer and at some point it gets dropped down onto the onto an end table and then a little more talk and then we better get back and join the party and thus goodbye vaporizer goodbye vaporizer hello hello vaporizer for ace man so uh giovanni yes sir you feeling satisfied oh quite thank you very much okay uh thank you all right we'll bring in noel in a second we'll take uh one more call some guy's got triplets some guy uh his deck line five's kind of a weird uh hypothetical i've heard him ask you that before hey uh steve 39 alabama hey what's going on and get it on what's going on well you're well known for being a great partner man partnered with jimmy kimmel and with dr drew and dennis prager uh i'm curious what you think their pairings would be like who do you think would make a good show with any of those three guys how about leaving the jokes to adam oh i think uh i think they're all good because they're all good at it and that's a that's a skill like a uh a good gigolo makes uh every every uh middle age broad he bangs feel like she's the one do you know what i'm saying so romantic that that's that's part of the uh that's part of being good at that although yeah i don't know drew i'm trying to think drew probably well dennis would do it the dennises would be good at it can i can i buy some time and apologize for that last drop i meant to play the one of theresa indicating that she was a partner of yours at one point but the drop machine got updated and the names are oh well let's hear how about you leave the joking to adam that would be a little more appropriate right one was kind of a non-sequitur i thought that's the one we did that's the one we did that's the one we did here anyway steve yes sir i feel like i've been hitting on that uh sarah silverman's inhaler uh so your question is uh which one would be all right so you're saying i'm gonna pair them up yeah how do you think they would do as pairs of two in shows and i'll see you at the barbecue with ozzy too thank you um uh drew would be all right i i think miller would be good and prager would be good i'm just saying that to be a dick thanks with each other so i don't know what's this question say which of your friends paired together would make the most compelling tv show as co so i thought he was going to say like ray and ozzy or something like that it was presented to us as a wider yeah than what he now i got a dennis miller and dennis prager and drew or all right who gives a shit all right now we'd normally bring a no but uh let me i gotta cleanse my palate you know what i mean you guys feel that way i do all right let's go to wine one that's all right that's what happens when you recommend you make a wreck oh yeah you uh george 32 chicago uh hey ace man what's going on um well um so i have triplets that are one year old and they're walking around and uh getting into stuff they shouldn't be getting into and uh i'm trying to find some way to discipline them but uh they uh aren't responding to any a volume of increase in volume simple simple simple garden hose now you're close simple garden hose and and listen don't misunderstand me there's a lot of people are like pucker factor right now you're gonna spray your kids with a garden hose no you're gonna beat them with it do you understand me because spraying them with it costs money with water damage well no you take it outside yeah oh but you're still you're you're you're on you know there's a meter running literally you're doing that you beat them with the hose there's only no big whoop and it doesn't really leave the kind of marks that uh anyway i probably said too much uh you want to what do you want to do raise your voice i don't i don't know uh yeah yeah i mean i just uh you know i tried to reason with the kid but uh he's one and uh didn't work out too well well listen i don't know i don't know that they do anything you want it one isn't it up to you as the parent to keep the things that are dangerous just away from them at the age of one yes i think that's that's up to uh up to you like uh george yeah so you put the lawn darts and the rat poison and the uh anal beads up on a shelf not the same shelf although people will think you have a lot of range when they come over to your house yeah yeah okay all right um yeah i think i think well there's a further complication because uh i'm in a wheelchair so i'm sort of i can't really chase them around too well don't bury the lead george you're in a wheelchair why are you in a wheelchair uh spinal cord injury when i was 17 what are we doing jumping into a body of water uh no i was uh riding my friend's dirt bike motorcycle yeah uh-huh yeah yeah that sucks what's the uh yeah well he still had kids though after he was 17 so yeah oh yeah yeah can you get a boner yeah uh yes all right then no handicap parking for you when i'm in charge that's the mason dixon line dixon smart well listen you got a bunch of women i see fucking chicks driving corvettes or just fine and they got the handicap thing you know there's like i don't know i don't know if i'm in a wheelchair i don't know if i'm in a who's handicapped and who's not handy you get you get a boner not handicapped that's what i'm you know how bad can it He had kids. If you've done abuse of your hands, though, that should mitigate the boner, because you can't do anything about it at that point. The boner's just in there mucking. Oh, yeah, I don't. Yeah, you could rub back and forth against that thing. I don't know that you. I don't know if you can get a boner if you don't have use of your hands. Well, if you're in a rack and they're blown off. Oh, I see. All right. Well, let's ask him what everyone's wondering. Keep talking. I'm going to stare. George? George? What's that? How do you have sex? Like, well, I guess regular. I just lay down and my wife gets on top. I don't. Mm-hmm. Do you have. No swings or anything. Nothing complicated. You got use of your hands, okay? Yes. Yes, for sure. Okay. All right, George. Listen, it's a little early to start, you know, running over your kids, but at a certain point. Okay. you know, back over the toes a little or something. Lemons and lemonade, man. Yeah. We all try to use. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Hey, you're not one of those assholes with the super hopped-up wheelchair, the can-do wheelchair, like the anodized rims and the knobby tires and the Red Bull stickers and all that shit on there, are you? Oh, no, no. I try to keep it like a race car, efficient, light. Okay. No sponsorship, though, right? No, no, no. None yet. Okay. All right. Let's bring Noel in, by the way, from Ashley Madison. Noel, good to see you again. Good to see you, Adam. Thanks for having me. We had Noel on our radio show some years ago. Maybe I'm making that up. No, you did. I feel like you were in there. I think you helped launch us to prominence back in 2007. Yeah. It's Established Men. It's Cougar Live. It's Man Crunch. That's a gay one, right? You would know. I would know, because it sounded like it to me. And then there was SwapperNet, which I think is for swingers, right? Yeah. You know, Ashley Madison's for people who are trying to do it. Discreetly, SwapperNet's for people who want to do it with consent. How much swinging feels like something that went out with the 70s, but evidently it's around and seems to be thriving in certain parts of Florida. Yeah. Yeah. I think polyamory is back in vogue, right? I think it's the new trend, if anything. People are looking at monogamy as almost this failed, you know, man-made construct. And so they're looking at alternatives. And it seems to me that if you have the courage to say, Hey, let's try something different. We still want to stay together, but let's remove the monogamy part. It turns out they get divorced a lot less than the rest of us. So maybe they're on to something. Well, how, by the way, how big a community is like Ashley Madison? So I just got back from our launch into China, Japan, our 30th country. Smart. I will tell you, I now can unequivocally tell you that the rangiest people on the planet are the Japanese. We've never seen anything like it. We've got over 1 million subscribers. We've got over 1 million Japanese running around our service within three months. Wow. So that dwarfs the American launch and the German launch and all kinds of other places. So, but we have 22 million members. It's the fastest growing dating site in the world right now. And that's because I'd like to say it's my talent, but, you know, infidelity crosses every border, right? Both genders, every socioeconomic group. It really is something that touches everyone. So ultimately, I think Ashley Madison has a chance to be the biggest dating site on the planet. Well, do you think, a couple of things, and I believe you're happily, married dude, right? Let's just say married. Oh, you were. Well, you were. No, I'm married. I'm married. You're just putting the word happily in front of presumption is that those go hand in hand. All right. Sometimes you just get married. All right. How romantic. Jesus Christ. I'm going to get Lynette over there. What do you want to do with a wife swap? Speaking of swinging. Is, is, is it your, you know, there's, there's certain, certain things I have feelings about. Like, you know, I sell booze because everyone loves booze. And why not? You're never going to go wrong with something that tastes good and is high octane. And it does, you know, they'll drink it in Canada and they'll drink it in China. Like, so is your feeling that people are sort of bred to, if not cheat, at least have multiple partners and that we've, as a society, sort of bred that out, out of ourselves, but it's really there lurking in just beneath the surface for quite a few men and quite a few women as well. And so why not service those people? Yeah, I think we would all acknowledge any geneticist who knows a lot more than I do that it's not in our DNA to be monogamous. I think the myth that I've started to unravel is it's not just men who behave this way. It's not, they, they all haven't been having affairs with one lucky woman, right? So there was a flip side to this coin and I wanted to focus in on that female infidelity gap that I thought was really prevalent. You know, men have all kinds of offline, you know, platforms, strip clubs, massage parlors, all kinds of things. So they go, women really aren't afforded those same luxuries. Although again, in Japan, there's this little part of town that I was walked through at four in the afternoon where ex-Boy Ben stars go with their poofy hair to perform, let's call it oral sex on, on, on, on frustrated married women. And I, I don't think I've encountered that anywhere else on the planet. You went down a snatch park? I did. I walked through it. What? I walked through it. Wait, and are they getting paid? I walked through it to learn, to learn. Are they getting paid? They're getting paid. They drive fancy sports cars. And they keep their hair really immaculate and they, they get paid by the, by the orgasm. It's, it's quite fascinating. You know, you're really dealing with a culture in Japan anyways, where marriage and sex are separated. You know, it is for procreation. There's no such thing as a double bed in Japan. You can't go into a store and say, Hey, I want to buy this queen size bed. They don't sell that product. It doesn't exist. And so oral sex, anal sex, those aren't sexual activities in Japan. That doesn't even count. So you can go into bars and people will be getting blowjobs. Right beside you while you're having your socket. You know, that's just the culture you're walking into. They don't have that Judeo-Christian, you know, backbone to it. And so it's just, it's not a moral discussion. It really isn't. It's interesting. It's really interesting for someone like me trying to forge a business there. And so, yes, to loop back to your point, I think what I was betting on was that the internet would be this evening of the playing field for women. Their infidelity rates were going to jump because a past lover on a Facebook or future lover on my service was going to be one click away and they weren't going to. They were going to stay like the generation before them in really, you know, non-tolerable marriages. They were going to do something about it. I want to get back to this park for a second. The guys who, you know, had a career but now they're reduced to this, go there. You know if there's a dude with poofy hair that's hanging around there that he's open for business. You're open for business. I'm sorry. Where is this? This is Japan. They call them love hotels. Did you want directions? I'm not against Japan. You could do it. You could make big money there. I think your look would fly. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. Yeah, poofy hair. Wait a minute. So you go and where do they go to perform the act? What a nice word for them, right? That's the translation. But they're really, you know, squalor rooms. I didn't go into the rooms but they're tiny little rooms. They look like coffins and you go in there and you perform the act. And these guys get their pay and these women go back to whatever it is that they're doing, tea at the peninsula or elsewhere and get on with their married lives, which to them is about raising children and about a home economic situation. It has nothing to do with sex. And so if their husbands aren't going to please them, they're going to find someone else who will. Are they independent contractors or is there someone who organized, like do they have a. What was the name of the guy who managed New Kids on the Block? Ron Perlman? No, Lou Perlman. Lou Perlman. Yeah. They need a Lou Perlman. And I believe that the music agent probably drops off at that point and they are handed off to a new type of agent, universally called a pimp. So there is like a pimp. There is one then. Yeah. I saw a couple of those guys with less poofy hair walking around who seem to be in charge of the transaction. Wow. I'm seeing an Eddie Griffin movie here. Wow. The Bishop Don Magic Juan. Man Horse. Man Horse. Back to Japan. Breaking training. You know, whatever it is. But it's Eddie Griffin. It's Eddie Griffin is the Bishop Don Magic Juan who's gone to Japan basically. Like a prequel to his life. That's right. No, but just this week, GQ Magazine, a reporter went undercover on Ashley Madison and talks about all these women he's meeting with. And I think if you read that and if you flip through Good Housekeeping from 30 years ago, it looks like a different species you're talking about, right? These women are talking about, "I'm married, but this is what I want and I want the passion. And my husband's a jerk for not doing this. And so I'm going to do this, that, and. " We're in a new world. And the internet has changed all of that. It's changed female sexuality dramatically and it's definitely changed female monogamy dramatically. And then- And I'm not responsible for all of that. Right. Just my small part. How does one. If you go on the site and let's say, "I want to sign up, but let's say my wife's looking for me." I mean, obviously you've thought about this and figured it out. Yeah. You know, the Pina Colada song hasn't happened yet, right? We haven't had the two people- No. We haven't had the two people- Yeah. We haven't had the two people- Well, we haven't had the two people yet. Yeah. We haven't had the two people yet. And for that, I mean, she's looking to bust out- Over his shoulder. There's only so much I can do, Adam, right? I can build you an anonymous billing engine. I can put your photos under lock and key. I can make it so that when you're finished with your profile, I don't just delete it like every other service on the planet. I'll go back and recall every message or image you ever sent to anybody, make it like you were a ghost, you didn't exist. But if you leave your browser open and it's right sitting there on your computer, if you give your wife access to your PDA- But there's nothing anybody. If somebody went onto your site and they were able to pull up the ghost of Steve Jobs- and he sat next to them, and they tried to hack away, or the WikiLeaks guy was standing next to him. They couldn't get on there and find their husband. No, what also you have to realize is when people are having affairs, they're building a persona. They're projecting something different than what they're doing on the home front. So the photos under lock and key, they're signing up as frustrated wife 202, whatever it ends up being. You would have to be Magellan to find your own spouse through there because, remember, we've got 22 million members. In L.A. alone, I think we have 350,000 people who have built into the database. You would be spending the better part of your days trying to find a needle in a haystack. It just doesn't happen. That is not the concern. The concern is you get forgetful, leave some sort of digital lipstick open on your phone, and someone uncovers it. That's how people get busted. But that isn't my fault now, is it? No, don't get defensive. Oh, I get defensive. Jesus Christ. Come on. And what about the cougar life? Because to me, that's completely… It's completely different, which is this is just women that want to hook up with young dudes at a park in Japan, right? It's different. But, you know, ultimately, once I got the traction with Ashley Madison, I realized that there was two sides to dating. Let's get married for love. La, la, la. Let's hold hands, right? We're dating because we want to get married. And that's nice and good. Is that your own path? Is that part of it? And I wanted to build the darker side of dating. I wanted to do things where people didn't care about long-term relationships. They wanted to have fun or whatever it was. And if the rest of the world… If the rest of the world was going to ignore those people, I was going to jump in. So, yes, older women dating younger men, that is a trend we've been seeing. In its first three years, cougar life is twice as big as Ashley Madison was. Wow. Right? It doesn't have any of these… Oh, it was, right, in the first three years. It doesn't have any of the inhibitions. I'm advertising on NFL football games. I can put… I can speak to people wherever it is. But, you know, it's a big and growing trend. Who would be… What's the cougar cutoff, just so I can feel terrible about myself? That's a great question. Oh, you definitely, yeah. We believe it's 35, but you've got to have a five-year gap between the two, right? Like, it doesn't count as a cougar relationship if you're 36 and he's 35. Right. So, 35 is where the cougar begins, but you need that… And she's got to have five years on the male of those. So, like, a 35 and a 30 is a cougar. And that big open gap. Oh. Yeah. Aren't you glad you asked? Between their teeth. So glad. What would you think? It wasn't going to be 61. Who would be your ultimate spokesperson? Like, if you could get George Clooney for… For which… I think he'd work for both. I think he'd work for both. He might work across the entire… He might work across the entire established men. In real life, he's probably been there. I'm sure there's been some unfaithfulness. I'm not saying, George, I know for a fact. It just is what it is. Yeah, I think… Listen, I think anyone in Hollywood… Maybe Charlie Sheen or Cee-Lil Seedy. Anyone in sports, any politician, all these people would be really great. Have you approached… Have you guys approached people? I mean, now that the company's growing and you're doing spots and commercial ads… Are you saying I'm doing a lousy job? No, you're suggesting I move on. I'm just saying, yeah. I'm just saying if Sheen was in here, it'd be awesome. No, you need, like, Nick Cannon or Ashton Kutcher, someone who's in… whose whole relationship is or was the cougar life. Right. So a cub. You would think a cub. Somebody who represents the cubs, the boys on the service. Yeah, that's fair. AshleyMasson.com is where you go. And Ashley Masson, the Twitter, is where you go as well. Noel, thank you so much for having me. Always good to see you. Educational, wasn't it? You know, I must say, it's one of these things, honestly, where it's like you kind of want to have this neat jerk reaction where you go, oh, that's not right. And then you just kind of… You kind of realize, well, that's how people are wired. And in a weird way, we're talking about Sarah Silverman. Many people might not agree with people ingesting drugs or marijuana, but the guy is out there and the guy decides he's going to make bongs. Did you catch her appearance on The Good Wife where she played pseudo-me? She ran a married dating service and then ends up being a killer. Best episode of the year. Well, listen, one of the fun things has been over the last couple of years has seen… You know, The Simpsons parody us in their season finale when Marge joins Sassy Madison. Oh, right. There's been a whole bunch of shows. We have become the Kleenex of cheating. It's been fun. I do feel like you're the guy who makes the bongs. Like, you're not the lips and you're not the weed, but you do put them together. Humans make the choice. All right. We'll take ourselves a little break. Art Alexakis, my friend from Everclear, in studio next. The Adam Carolla Show honors journalistic excellence with another great moment in local news. Isabel is 10 years old, a fourth grader. She said she was bullied two years ago at a different school. I didn't fit in very well because I was half black, so they would tease me on my hair. And I was very scared to even wear a ponytail. That's the reason that October is Anti-Bullying Month. Awareness. So that young children like Isabel… They'll be victims. They never really physically hurt me, but it just felt like they were hurting my feelings a lot. The spirit of Murrow and Cronkite live on. Now, back to the Adam Carolla Show. It's now at the point, it's so sad, but I have twins and I hope they get bullied just enough. Like, a little. I'm so scared that they're going to have nothing. Like, never skin knee, never hurt feeling, and they're just going to get their adult life and never have a callus built up. Or any intestinal fortitude or any grit at all. Would you hope that they get bullied a little bit or bully a little bit? I would like them to get bullied a little bit. That's a waste of my time. I'd like them to get, you know… You know, I don't want to go, like, Carrie style with my daughter. You know, pig's blood and everything. Yeah, that's a little much. But a little bit. Art, good to see you, my friend. Good to see you. So you've got kids how old are your twins now? They're seven years old. I've got a six-year-old. And another baby. My son said he was bullied because he was talking to another kid. And that kid put his finger in his own ears. And that my son was bullied because a kid was not listening to what he was saying. Like, literally, my son was talking and the kid went like, yada, yada, yada, and put his fingers in his own ears. And my son took that as being bullied. Wow. Yeah. They're sensitive now, huh? The sticks and stones thing doesn't work anymore. Not at all. It's all about the names. You know, I think it's kind of indicative. It's weird because, like, I have a 21-year-old. And I raised her very differently than I'm raising my six-year-old. How? Well, one thing is spanking. I spanked my 21-year-old when she was between two and five. And I read all the books and stuff on it. And basically, we decided that we would spank only if she was endangering herself or endangering someone else. So when she kicked the puppy, which was actually hilarious, but she kicked the puppy, she got a spanking. Right. And when she threw the softball at her mom and knocked her out, like, literally knocked her out. Really? Yeah. And then I'm walking around with her. She's got an arm. I know, huh? And then walking around. Then later, she started throwing like a girl. Where did it come from? Wow. Where did it go? I know. But anyway, I walk around with her mom for two weeks, and everyone's looking at me like I punched her. Right. You know, because she had a shiner. And then one time, she ran out into the middle of a boulevard and was like. Spanked her. Yeah, she got spanked. And at home, I followed her. I followed all the rules. This one now, if I spanked this one, this one's so stubborn and so full of fire, I'd be beating her with a stick like a piñata. You know? I mean, seriously. And I wouldn't. She wouldn't give in to me unless I broke her spirit. And I don't want to do that. Like you said, I want my kid to, like, experience that kind of experience, like being bullied. Because I think. I think it makes you tougher, and it makes you learn from it. Well, at least. I'm assuming that's what you meant by that. I meant losing disappointment, the feeling of, I'm going to make that person wish they had picked me on their team one day kind of thing, you know. Just that anxiety of having to ask somebody out to the prom or to the date and maybe getting turned down to the prom or to the date. Yeah. Just all those little life setbacks that we've all experienced that anybody, especially someone who's in a band or who did stand-up comedy. Oh, yeah. I mean, you had to have many a night and many audition and many an episode where someone said, pack it up. I don't think anyone in show business has some of that, because the whole thing is that you have the drive to prove you want to be a little bit more elevated than other people. You have a drive to prove something to someone. Yeah, we were talking about Jimmy earlier. He got shit-canned from the first, I don't know, four or five radio stations he was on, you know. You don't give up. But that's. That's the whole thing. You get your ass kicked in life. And the people that win, and I'm not talking like it's a competition, but if you want to win in your own life, you pick yourself back up and you fucking get in there and keep doing it. Do what you believe. By the way, one night with Everclear, it's October 14th at the Pasadena Playhouse. Yeah, and I won't use bed words. 8 p.m. Pourser proceeds are going to Theatrical Diversity Project and tickets available at everclearonline.com. You can go to everclearonline.com. By the way, that's their website. Well, I mean, you come from a lot of adversity as you sing about in your songs. And we've talked about many times on Loveline. But I don't know if people who are listening now know your full back story. So paint the picture, would you, Art? I always enjoy it. You always enjoy it. It's worse than my background. Yeah, so you feel pretty good about it. I got it. Okay, that's cool. I was born in Santa Monica, California. I was born in California to a very twisted couple. I was the youngest of five children. My mom and dad were kind of like a poor, white trash version of Ricky and Lucy. My dad's Greek, and he talks in a big accent and very angry and cheated. He would have loved Ashley Madison. He would have fucked that up big time. Where is she? I bang her, too. No, she's not. Totally. Dad, she's not a person. I'll fuck her in the ass. No, Dad, she's not a human. No. So you know my dad. Yeah. Awesome. Anyway, they broke up when I was about five or six. Dad had the chance to, all he had to do was sign a paper, and my mom would have been able to take over the two houses that we owned in Redonda Beach. And it was a front house and a back house. We rented out the back house, paid for the front house. So his kids would have had a place to live in a nice neighborhood with good schools, and he wouldn't sign it. Because he was pissed at your mom about the divorce or whatever? Yeah, he said, fuck you, bitch, in front of the whole office of real estate people and said, just shows you that you need me. And then he gets in his car and drives away. Wow. That's my dad. I like when dudes, there's a lot of dudes out there that have a lot of retarded conviction, like pride. They're prideful, but it's because they got busted cheating a whole bunch of times, and then somebody wants a divorce, but they have pride, and they're not going to give their kids the home to live in or whatever. But it's weird because- Is it really pride? Stupid pride. Well, they think it's ego. They call it pride, or they call it whatever, chutzpah, or some ego, whatever it is. But it's always weird. I mean, at least my dad was just a limp noodle his entire life. You know, he never, he didn't have, you know, and so they do, they engage in this sort of behavior that is amoral, perhaps, but at least, certainly not the kind of stuff that would help their family. And then all of a sudden, they get real prideful about a lot of shit. It's this weird, convenient thing. Hypocrisy. It'd just be nice if you were just sort of shitty. And then once you got busted being shitty, don't get on. And the offense. Well, you know what? I've been on both sides of that. I've been married four times, so I've been on both sides of that. And you've known me through, I think, two or three marriages over the years. And I just, it's, I think it's low self-esteem. I think it's just really just people who don't really have a good sense of themselves. I think that a lot of philandering. What I call philandering, what the guy from Ashley Madison, Noel, or Noel? Noel. Noel. Yeah. He calls a mortgage payment. Well, yeah. Yeah, look, there's also this, too, which I just kind of heard about today. But why didn't you ask him if he uses his own sign? Because I think the answer would be no, at least on the air. Well. You never know off. Well, at least you have to put his dick on the chopping block. You're right. I mean, I just, that's how I was waiting for you. You should have done the job of handling his cock. No, I will. A piss-poor job. You're right. You should have been cock on the block. You mishandled his cock. I mishandled his cock. And look, I've been guilty of cock mishandling. I have, too. This was gross cock negligence. Oh, my God, yeah. You should have chopped that cock off. Guys, throw it at him. This is grounds for cock dismissal. Take the balls, too. Keep walking. I hope you learned your cock lesson. One of the balls. I've learned my cock lesson. It will not cocking happen again. Let's not. Let's stop. So. So your dad basically leaves you guys without a home. Yeah. My mom moves to a housing project, so that's where I grew up. With five kids. Well, yeah, she moved in there with me and two of my sisters. My eldest sister got knocked up when she was 17 to get the fuck out of the house. And my brother, it was girl, boy, girl, girl, boy. And my older brother was in. You know, juvenile hall and had problems with drugs and all sorts of stuff. And he died of an overdose when I was 21. But when he was 21, I was 12. Oh, I was a little boy. Yeah. Yeah. And I got raped and sexually abused when I was eight. And I mean, there's a whole lot of things that happened, not because of choices I made. And when I got older, I made a lot of bad choices, as you know. Well, you know, it's that it's that that horrible syndrome. And you spoke about rape or molestation, whatever. But it works that way with violence and everything else, which is at some point, you're poor little victim. At another point in life, you're a victimizer. We want to come down like a sledgehammer on you when you're 17 and you're victimizing or you're 44 and you're victimizing. Well, it depends on what you're calling victimizing. I mean, I never victimized in the classic sense of it, but I was. I've screwed probably over close to a thousand women and most of the time while I was married to other people. And really? Yeah. Wow. So, I mean, let's is that victimizing? I think it is. I think it's definitely abuse of power and abuse of game. Did you feel guilty while you were doing it? Or do you feel guilty now? I do. I feel horribly guilty now. I'm faithful and loving my life. And I'm. I'm cock-blocked and mishandling my cock constantly, but for one woman. Let me translate. The band's not touring anymore. They're going to hit the road May of 2014 and it's back on. It's all over. Game on. Yeah. Actually, I wish that, you know, I feel a little emasculated by love, I got to say. But it is. But it is what it is. Listen, I've said it many times, which is this. There are guys who have. Have the opportunity to cheat and then they're guys who have to go sort of pay for it, work at it, hustle it up. You know, if you go, if you're on MTV, I was on MTV, Art was on MTV and next thing you know, you're just in some town. I think you have to go out of your way to not cheat if you're what you're talking about. I've been in bars in Manhattan and a couple of chicks went, you want to watch us back in our room kind of thing. Like, it's kind of stuff that when you're a long haul trucker doesn't happen. And there's a lot of guys that point a lot of fingers, but I don't know a lot of guys who would turn that shit down when it shows up. Absolutely. When it makes itself so available. Right. Absolutely. I mean, look, you know, it's not like I don't look like Brad Pitt, you know, that kind of that kind of shit doesn't happen to me. It didn't happen to me until I got clean and sober. And then I started having more game and I started like getting more chicks. But. When fame happened, it's just like it was like putting gasoline on the spark. But do you feel like this happens oftentimes where people replace their drug of choice with something else? No, I'm an addict. I'm a sexual. I'm an addict. I hate it when people say they're sexual addicts because you're an addict. I'm an addict. What do you got? Seriously. I mean, I didn't think I was a sports addict, like a betting addict until about two weeks ago. I'm. I'm in front of the sports book at a casino in Vegas and I see that this tip, this team is 250 to one. I'm like, really? So if I bet four grand, I asked a guy, what's the most I can bet? He goes five grand. That's a million to 50 value bet. You'd be dumb not to. But I. Exactly. And then the team they were playing was 75 to one. So if I bet a grand on that, either way, I'm going to win. Right. How can you not do that? And then my mind's doing this. I'm doing this stuff and I look at my wife and she's just like, so this is what it's like because she didn't know me when I was an addict. And wow. She's like, I'm like, damn, well, that's it. But to you, it seems like common sense, right? I. Well, yeah. People dig a hole like that. I know a couple addicts and I always I always say and I don't know how you feel about this or if this is you or not, but they drink a lot of coffee. They smoke a lot of cigarettes. And their foots always happen. And they're like the addicts that I know somehow are uncomfortable in their own skin. And they're looking for this release all the time. And if it's not going to be heroin, it's going to be jumping out of an airplane like they need that thing. And then there are other guys are just wired like cats. I mean, they're just mellow and they're just sort of they don't depends. Yeah. And I don't I don't know. But do you. Feel as you know, you can stop doing the substances, right? And thus be sober. But there's that part of you, that metronome that's always sort of ticking, going, what's the next thing? Well, absolutely. I mean, that's what it was with me and with women. I wasn't doing drugs. I wasn't drinking, but who is putting my addictive behavior into that? I was putting it into work. I mean, we, you know, Everclear back in the day was even even today. I mean, we still work more than most bands do. We work constantly. I don't say no. And that's kind of a good aspect of the addictive personality. But I mean, you're you're you're you're point of the not comfortable in your own skin. I had a back thing about two years ago. I had to go to the hospital and my wife came to took the baby to to school and comes in to see me. And I had just gotten into this big argument with doctors who wanted to do an MRI. But I hurt too bad to get on the MRI. machine. So they convinced me to take some morphine and i really didn't want to take morphine they're like look you're not breaking your sobriety you're doing this for pain and i'm like okay my wife walks in the room she's like what happened i'm like what do you mean what happened she goes you look happy i go because this is the first and last time you're ever going to see me comfortable in my own skin i felt like wow yeah it all makes sense this is great this is awesome i didn't feel high i just felt good yeah so do you think that the abuse in the background and all this basically hardwired you and it's a daily effort weekly effort therapy and and meetings and things like that but i mean to be the sober productive faithful good father that you are well i i don't think it that's for sure um i think i was pretty twisted i think i'm very similar to my my youngest daughter who is weird and and strong and powerful and full of a lot of fire but i think my job one of my jobs as a parent and i'm sure you probably agree is to keep my children safe from that kind of abuse so that they can grow up and make those make choices on their own without that kind of influence and i had that influence i i had you know i was latchkey kid before anyone else was it wasn't because my mom wanted to be but she had to work two jobs so where did you guys move where was the project it's over in culver city it's called marvista gardens ah culver city used to be nice now culver city was quite gardens quite a dump back in the day well culver city there's parts of culver city that are really nice now they've had a renaissance like when we used to do love line there it was dicey and weird and well fucked up you mean over at westwood one yeah well yeah it still is no no i'm telling that that neighborhood listen to brian that's the one who bought a house a couple years ago it's it's it's up and that whole neighborhood has come up around i used to do right across the street from where westwood one it was pretty industrial especially a little south there's a very la centric but now it's all like production studios and a lot of like tv production studios and stuff it's high end yeah so uh maybe come over to the project it's not high end well look i'm sure it wasn't high end back in 1975 or whatever it was oh no no project ever is but uh really so grew up in the projects and uh then what then um as i grew up i i uh moved back to santa monica with my mom lived in houston texas for a while started playing guitar started writing songs um was an addict and an alcoholic till i was about 22 what age did you start um 10 wow what did you start with um i started smoking well actually i started smoking pot at nine gummy gin yeah gummy gin they didn't have gummy gin but i would have i would have write that one down that's pretty good just make that up i just made it up but i think it could work yeah i don't have a gummy gin signing in portland this weekend oh august already booked yeah um i um i don't know then um i just started playing in bands and when i got clean and sober i i um put a lot of that energy into uh my music and into chasing girls but sure mostly into music and um moved to portland um started a band called everclear back in 1992 it didn't take long for everclear i mean most bands have the you know oh we've been around for a decade playing bars uh everclear i seem to remember hearing k-rock songs in 92 93 94 i'm not not that not 92 but 96 96 yeah kevin wouldn't play our song it was it was a hit other places but kevin wouldn't play it till after christmas of 96 yeah he played what santa monica yeah i was in college i just started yeah he never played anything else on k-rock but there was there was a few places we had a song called heroin girl that came out the year before and a few places played it and wherever they played it was a hit but people were scared of the name heroin right word heroin but um yeah then we became successful and um and uh had a really good run had like four or five platinum records in a row multi-platinum records in a row and um i just kind of went through um marriages well did that enable you i mean now you're sober but all of a sudden you're having this wild success after this wild poverty was it too much too soon i know that sounds kind of cliche but what i mean is is i feel like the road gets you to do bad things it's like you like you eat shitty food on the road because you're on the road you don't exercise like you should because you're on the road though you could you could eat good and you could eat exercise you could do you could but you just don't it's like somehow going out and you're staying in hotels and it's just it's not conducive to a relationship or a healthy anything also feel like everything feels so transient so it's like these calories aren't going to stick this like everything feels like you're just passing is that the way is that you rationalize that that's awesome that's a relationship with cinnabon well listen i got a relationship with cinnabon too we're probably seeing them at the same time no i guess no i'm not i'm not saying that's true i'm saying that's the feeling like somehow it all doesn't here's what it feels like it feels like if i was at home and i thought about having this cocktail at eight in the morning i would be insane like i would never have a cocktail at eight in the morning but i'm in an airport now i can have a cocktail late in the morning like or i'm on an airplane or um wherever i am like do that i see oh yeah you can do stuff that you can see me do it if you want to go out with us this weekend what i mean is like things you would eat things you would drink you know things that was i don't know maybe special occasion or i drink but only after you know the street lights come on all of a sudden it's game on as a sort of game on vibe and i imagine it was that way with women well you know what it came down to for me and this is in hindsight because i really well the main thing i try to do now with everything is just be really present and be aware and i think problems happen when people aren't present and aware but i um i was really lonely and i would be mad and i would very childishly like like i'll eat bad food on the road now because i'll you know because i'm lonely and i want to be at home and i don't want to be on the road i love playing the shows but being in a bus full of guys yeah i'd rather be at home with my 30 year old wife did you uh ever find your dad did you reconcile do you guys have a relationship is he alive what he's alive he's 92 really he looks like a greek version of grandpa simpson wow swear to god and and and and yellow skin how did the reconciliation go and then what how come you don't have a relationship with him if you reconcile um can i tell another bad story sure okay sure um a few years ago my mom was dying and my dad um my dad had um been trying to get a relationship with me for a long time and didn't understand why and i'm like what do you mean you don't understand why last thing i remember of you is you beating my mom with your fist how about that was was any of it did you also feel like he was trying to reconcile because your band had taken partly partly i i mean it be it became more of a big deal after that um but the the point being said is that he you know my mom was dying of cancer and she was like 78 and she had had open heart surgery she had been through breast cancer and now she had lung cancer after smoking for four years and she was like oh my god 46 years and i'm like dad you want a relationship with me with my children call my mom be a mensch seriously call him and call her and just say let her talk let her say anything and tell the truth for the first time in your life to a woman tell the truth to her admit to it own up to it be a man if you can do that i can forgive all seriously that's how i felt he said absolutely son never did it and thus you never reconciled why it's just no listen i up first off i'm i am wired exactly like you which is i have had it happen many times where i've given people the opportunity look go do this right thing and then then we can reconcile or then you'll get a new car lease or whatever it is and then we can reconcile or then we can reconcile or then you'll get a new car lease or whatever it is and then they choose to be pissed off over the outcome and it's like you chose my my mother and my grandmother hated each other their whole lives and it just had this horrible relationship and my mother was raised by uh she got taken by child protective services and all this kind of talking about her mom her mom her mom and her hated each other basically their whole lives and my grandmother's a colossal ball buster just would never say anything complimentary toward my mom or anything and she made my mom into a fucking mess just a mess and and then the problem is is when you break their your kid they end up living in your shitty extra house because you've essentially did such a thorough thorough job of destroying your own kid that your kid can't go out and become a functioning member of society so my mom just got welfare checks and lived in a house but my my grandmother you know one day and she's now getting on and then you become an adult and now you see things through the eyes of an adult and you get some insight you know and my grandmother was kind of lamenting to me not in a not in a what was me way but but a way was like she's never happy with anything i do she takes everything the wrong way she's always thinking i'm putting her down i don't know what to do with her and i said i'll tell you what grandma we're supposed to go over to their house my mom's house which is my grandmother's other house so let's go to this little house that my grandmother bought for 10 grand in north hollywood like 1952 we're going there for dinner on friday i said listen let me tell you what to do let me give some advice now i'm an adult and i do a radio show where i dispense advice you don't have to go over there and hug her and tell her you forgive her or you're sorry about the past or anything but i'll tell you what to do she just remodeled the bathroom the house only has one fucking bathroom and it finally got remodeled after like 46 years and it looks nice and do me a favor when you go over there and at some point you use the bathroom when you walk out of the bathroom go hey chris that looks fantastic that was a great job you did a great job at that bathroom and then you can sit down and her mind will officially be blown and that's all you need that's all you have to do you don't have to go over there and write her apology letters or anything just when you do go to the bathroom at some point walk out with a compliment and you will have one anyway because it looks great and uh at some point after eating our like uh fucking lentil stew or whatever health food bullshit my mom made my grandmother gets up to go to the bathroom and she's like i'm gonna go to the bathroom and then she like walks back and she like plops down on the table and just they you know finished the conversation and i like looked across the table and i went what'd you think about the bathroom there grandma and she's like yeah it's okay you know and i was like all right well i guess this i guess you don't want to do whatever it's going to take to reconcile with your daughter so many situations like this it's like if the person wanted to do it if they were capable of of doing it they would have done it they wouldn't like that's why they're in this situation that's true frustrating that's true but you do think when people are getting to the end of their life and i know they're fucking dug in deep into their pathology but you think when they get to the end of their life and they say to you i would like to do this even though we know they could have done it a thousand times over it's exactly like my dad don't what what do you have to be afraid of they're old people they're not going to hurt you what what the fuck did your grandma have to do to be afraid of why couldn't she do that why couldn't my dad call my mom why i know and this isn't like i was wrong about the remodel of the bathroom you're right you know it wasn't any of that i was just saying it wasn't anything emotional yeah you did a good job this looks not in the repertoire i know not even in the fucking repertoire you know i mean i and i look at it and what after my dad did that it wasn't like i was mad i don't know how you felt in that experience but i wasn't mad i was just like okay that's your choice that's your choice and i get all therapy about it everyone makes choices man you you either make the right choice or and if you fuck up come back and apologize and say you fucked up but it's not my dad's repertoire i can't do it right but then this day can't do it that is their choice and then it's your choice to associate with them or feel the way you feel about them based on their choices call it a day that's the thing too you know when people just do the well why should that affect you of course it affects the way you deal with them it should all right allison rosen uh you got a little bit of news by the way yeah we are going to be in portland uh latin theater coming up uh friday um yeah we got a gummy gin signing with lars larson lars larson coming on on the late show on friday that's at 10 30 there are tickets to that available there's no tickets for the early show that's sold out neptune theater saturday 9 30 late show early show sold out late show a few tickets left so says mike august and mangria bottle signings yeah oregon and uh main brew and seattle and esquin wine and spirits and then uh bellevue washington on to bevmo and uh you guys just go online and you can find out where i'm going to be and where we're going to be and all that good stuff all right allison rosen let's do a little news the news with allison rosen she'll read some news from her ipad sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad well kanye west will be going on jimmy kimmel wednesday to settle their rap feud that's what kimmel's been referring to it as rap feud surprising right yeah i talked to jimmy about this um well on a couple occasions uh one like i said initially he said he was the craziest person he'd ever spoke to who made over twenty thousand dollars a year and again i think you have to you have to stipulate that there's plenty of crazy people who are pushing shopping carts up and down santa monica boulevard dragging dogs that have a lamp cord tied to them and they're going to be around their neck those people are crazy but once you get over twenty thousand dollars a year that means you know you have a job functioning crazy you know it's a real rich man poor man being super crazy you know i mean you're the push in the shopping cart or you're kanye west or fiona apple yeah and then later i spoke to him i feel like they're the same person it might be kanye and fiona that's right same human later and i called jimmy on um um i called him last thursday and i went on what was going on with the well actually i complained to him uh about everything for like 20 minutes and then i asked him what's going on with the kanye west thing and he said they'd you know bury the hatchet so to speak like they it was cool how um i think they'd they'd arranged a meeting they'd spoken i don't know if it was one of those they've agreed to disagree things i don't know i'm not i i how to hatchets get buried these days i mean wendy williams sent you champagne right yes that's right i had my own episode with a person of color although i'm not sure what color feud with wendy williams well what that's awesome what happened was is i did her show on a um i don't know monday morning or something i think i was wearing the shirt i'm wearing now come to think of it you haven't taken it off oh that is unfair i did put my red italian tablecloth checkered shirt on once while this thing was being sprayed we think you put it on over that oh that's what i meant i have the same like four shirts but i wore like designer jeans and i wore this shirt and i wore like black boots that like zip up on the side you were dressed up for you i was dressed up for me but for me when you go on the tonight show or you go on jimmy kimmel live it's a nighttime show and so you're dressed up for me but for me you wear a jacket but when you do a daytime like sit around and talk thing it's a little different vibe it's it's daytime show nighttime show and uh she i just sort of wore this and we had a fair to middle in time over there and everyone said great job and i left and then later on she just started talking shit about what a slob i was and how i yeah it was in her she did i think an after the show video thing that goes online and she just really began laying around and she was like laying into adam i think also for something you had said to an audience member maybe yeah i yelled at the audience you know i've found hosts don't like that done it a few times when i called conan's someone in conan's audience a lesbian or something i think he took some offense to it but i was trying to engage them yeah you were doing some crowd work i was i was working the crowd that's right so they buried the hatchet though she she well the second somebody says to me sorry i was a that was i was out of line i just go oh okay moving on like i don't there's no reason for a second lap once somebody says sorry and uh she sent over a nice bottle of champagne well everyone can tune into jimmy to find out how kanye and jimmy will bury the hatchet or perhaps they'll discuss having already buried the hatchet i don't know uh also in entertainment news chris and bruce jenner have split they've confirmed that they've split well my wife will be devastated really she watches the show she watches all the iterations of the kardashian well apparently according to this article this now explains some confusing in inconsistency so to speak in the show because there's this question of why did he move out why is he living separately what i'm trying to get a a bead on bruce and uh that'll be my next ryan seacrest co-produced endeavor yeah uh he's now single oh my god i'm so excited about that i'm so excited about that i'm so excited about that i'm so excited about that i'm so excited about that i'm so excited oh this is a show and on the move yeah oh this is a show and on the move yeah oh this is a show and on the move yeah um the thing that's weird about him and um the thing that's weird about him and um the thing that's weird about him and i've met him before and i've and he's i've met him before and i've and he's i've met him before and i've and he's like a car guy and he like a car guy and he like a car guy and he by the way he's a decathlete like it's the world's gold medal decathlete yeah it was on a Wheaties box I mean it's it's literally the world's greatest athlete like there was no you don't see that you don't think of him in that way anymore there was no more embodiment of sort of macho or man it's just like the greatest athlete on the planet this guy's not the greatest NBA player the greatest NHL he's just the best in the world and all the old you know the javelin and all the all this shot putting and all that 100 yard dash and all that stuff he's the greatest athlete in the world and then he starts taking some turn and it's weird and you're talking about his face I'm talking about his hair his face no I'm just talking about his entire sort of vibe and demeanor like sort of I don't know if like is he but he's a really nice guy but yeah he's nice like he's a he's a really personable guy you you think like for instance I would be first off I'd have those Wheaties boxes strewn all about the house I constantly make a mobile out of those things and hang them over every bed in the fucking house and anytime one of those little cunts got yappy with me it'd be like hey you're first off you dress me as the world's greatest athlete and father and then we can start talking about whether uh you're going to the prom or not whatever it was he just gets I feel like it's steamrolled by a lot of people I don't know I don't know I don't know everyone in his house and then is he going to get a big payday out of this did he have a bunch of money she made a ton of money did he from the sure of course I'm sure the part of the Kardashian fortune is his now I mean he's been appearing on those shows and I don't see yeah this has got to be the weirdest thing I I'm going no because I think she ran a boutique that uh sold you know decorative handbags or something at the time dash thank you wow at the but really how long were they married for and do you guys feel a couple of things first off it's got to be weird for Robert sitting in hell watching all of this like on his fiery flat screen Robert Kardashian yeah they were together for 22 years is there this can you guys his fiery flat screen well I would imagine well everything's on fire down there well and it's hell but come on it's not Guantanamo Bay I mean they gotta have a flat screen oh I'd imagine yeah otherwise it'd fucking protest only gets a couple channels it fucking set that place on fire you can't change the channel that's the problem he's forced to watch the Kardashians and all of their spinoffs that sounds like hell that sounds like the waiting room at e actually that's right every sports bar in hell has the Kardashians on it um do you guys feel like there's been a rash of people getting divorced way after the expiration date on the divorce on them being able to get divorced has expired like I yes I feel when I was a kid you know people got divorced when my friends were eight nine ten years old once their friends were 34 the parents didn't get divorced because it's like oh fuck it we're both 60 you know I mean like where are we going yeah what new you are you trying to and capture do you really and I you know I guess it's different for her but do you want to be the 57 year old parent of seven just on the open market and like what what kind of demand are we talking about here yeah I think she'll do fine it's economic it's it's an economic thing you're not going to do that unless you're Kardashian or or Bruce Jenner which they're going to remarry they're going to find another me the average guy that looks like him that's had that much fucking plastic surgery that's 185 years old is not going to find another woman that's even close to that well there's where the Wheaties box there you go wasn't he the guy with the flag he's running with the flag on the Wheaties box oh the Wheaties box fell in my pocket again yeah oops read that for me yeah oh that's me on the cover Gary I know you can't tell uh no prenup uh by the way I'm not talking about just the celebrities although I've been hearing about it with celebrities I know but I I have friends who are adults whose parents have split up and it it struck me as strange as well yeah you're like you graduated college you got a job at a law firm and then your parents got divorced yeah and it makes you wonder did it makes you wonder what happened that made them decide now is the time that's what I always wonder is it that they were staying together till the kids were adults or did something change were they tired of living a lie what is it I always uh give the Wheaties box where he's like running with the thing because that's the most I kind of yeah there's just kind of the Wheaties box I remember those short shorts um the I I I don't And you do there's a lot of staying together for the kids. But this seems like 15 years after the kid moved out of the house and you still stay together. I think it's it's it's about it's it's let's say five things. It's an infusion of, hey, man, everyone's got to live and do and be and be the best they can be. And nobody can hold anyone down. And everyone's, you know, has an inner sort of princess and prince that's inside them that's just waiting to escape. And this sort of bullshit Madison Avenue stuff that's been force fed to us. What's your special? There's nobody like you. We all deserve infinite possibilities and whatever. And I think people, oftentimes women who probably didn't have the courage to do it before, have been fed this diet of like, this guy's holding you down, man. You should be you should be up there with Kris Jenner doing her thing. You know, you know, you could be a momager. Yeah. You got to spread your wings, baby, and fly. And so that mixed with. People are dying at eighty five and not at sixty eight anymore. Like, hey, you know, you're fifty seven. You're going, I got another thirty years. I want to be with this fucking wrinkly old prick for another thirty years. Like, there's an element of that. Not like, well, he's going to retire next year and then we're going to Boca Raton. Like, it's like I'm living. And there's sites like Cougar Life. Then there's Cougar Life. And then there's the computer. There's like, I'm I'll find some other dude because there's thousands of dudes who want to. You're in this pool and online and whatever. Well, I. I know a lot of people. I'm talking about people that I know through, you know, other people that are like breaking up after 30 years of marriage and after their kids are way out of the house, even after they have grandkids, because they'd rather be by themselves. They'd rather do their own thing. There's so much stimulation. Another good idea for a website. Buyyourself.com. Yeah. Yeah. Or fuckthatguy.com. Where people get together and then break dates for dinner. Mindyourownshit.com. That's right. Mindyourownbeeswax.com. Yeah. You just get together with other like minded single people that don't want to meet you. Or you don't. That's right. Or you don't. It'syourcall.com. Or you stay off it. Yeah. It's better yet. It's just lunch. And no one talks to each other. It's called It's Just Lunch at the Counter. You sit there at the counter alone eating lunch. Did you order? Yeah. That's right. I like that. I'll tell you what Bruce could use. Some Enzyte, baby. All right. Let's see. Ah, yeah. I'm doing that show on Spike. Catch a Contractor. And if you've been screwed over by a contractor and you live really close to my fucking house, then you should go to adamcroll.com and click on the link and apply. So you may get your house fixed for free. Catchacontractor.com is where you can go as well. I want to thank Noel Bitterman, ashleymadison.com for coming in here. Art. I didn't even know you were back in L.A., baby. Yeah. Back in L.A. about three years. Loving it. We got no more excuses. We're hanging. There you go. You can watch me drink. I don't give a shit. Hey, I watch the best drink. I watch my wife drink. It's good times. Awesome. Can you mention my show again one more time? Yeah. One Night with Everclear. October 14th at the Pasadena Playhouse, 8 p.m. And part of the proceeds are going to a worthy charity. Tickets available at everclearonline.com. And the website, everclearonline.com. And thepasadenaplayhouse.org. Well, there you go, everybody. There you go. So, we got it. And if you want to find out where we're going to be, just go to adamcarolla.com. We're coming to a town near you and signing some mangrove. So, until next time, it's Adam Carolla for Noel Bitterman, Art Alexakis, and Allison Rosen and Bold Brian saying, mahalo. A-fucker in the ass! Adios! All right. That was Adam Carolla Show 1181. Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla Show 1498. This one's from 2015. It's a one-on-one between Adam Carolla and Kevin Costner. Hope you guys enjoy. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on. And thank you. Yes, very self-deprecating. Thank you. Kevin Costner in studio. Kevin Costner, the man of the show. Let's take a look at the movie, by the way, in terms of its subject matter. Sort of a very delicate race relations movie, but more of about a relationship than race relations it's just a relationship where people happen to be different races so as far as the climate goes in terms of society uh boy it's like somebody had a crystal ball a few years ago when you're putting this movie together but a very good movie a very thought-provoking a lot of laughs uh tugs at the heartstrings as well but uh it is one of those things where you watch it and you go uh two things one uh kevin costner can really act like it's a kind of a thing where you see kevin in action films or seeming this sort of big budget stuff and you forget a little about kevin the actor there was a lot of kevin costner and bill burr our good friend of the show acting but you could really feel that pushing through i don't uh i i know it sounds a little like a backhanded compliment but when you see a big budget action film with kevin costner you don't feel the actor pushing yeah well there's a you know there's all kinds of movies i mean you're right you can you're going to make the political thriller you're going to make the western you're going to make the romantic comedy and then you're going to make one guy trying to save the world and we know that doesn't happen uh and then there's sometimes you get a chance to make these movies that are kind of of your time and when they're kind of close to the bone and this one doesn't this one is not this plays it right to the bone it's not careful with its language it's not politically correct which by the way when i think politically correct that i don't always think that's a license to be cruel so it goes i'm gonna i'm not politically correct so i can say whatever i want i i like people when they don't dance around but people being absolutely cruel it's just not not really that cool to be around but this movie doesn't play it safe i mean the the reason i did it was i felt like i got to say some things for myself to not only my generation to the culture to what's going on in in in our country and i think octavia spencer and anthony mackie both felt the same thing they were saying something about the they were telling some people what time it was in this movie i i it was really riveting and uh there's a couple first thing i i thought of is before we actually saw the screening kevin spoke for about 10 minutes just on making the film and was incredibly engaging incredibly funny and uh and sort of controlled the room of about 200 people that came into this screening theater and i remember thinking god damn what doesn't this guy do because i saw his band and i was really impressed by his band when i saw them play and then when i saw you standing in front of everybody i thought this guy could do stand-up if he wanted uh and i don't know i mean as a guy who stands on stage for a living i you felt very comfortable holding that microphone i mean a lot of actors feel maybe comfortable on set but not comfortable standing in front of a room or maybe up on stage but not standing in front of a room of people holding a microphone sort of free-forming it yeah like you did yeah you're very strong in that department i don't know if you think about doing stand-up or motivational or whatever i i'm okay in the q a situation in that particular instance it was a pretty safe room i i invited people that i knew and kind of told them a story about in making i didn't you know i guess what was funny about it was all true but um i do actually um i'm i never want to emcee something i think that's an art form i think that's an art form i think that's an art form i i've had to make two or three speeches one at whitney's uh you know memorial i've i've uh did a speech about muhammad ali uh at the fight thing and i labored over those speeches for a couple of weeks both i mean whitney's over a week because i got called you know to come but i i'm not comfortable in the public forum of prepared remarks because that's like a that's really an art form of stand-up i don't think i couldn't i could never do it i mean last night i got like a shit i just do i go because maybe i take it too seriously but i don't want to be so glib about somebody giving you something i'm still kind of a romantic about our business but what you said that night i was i was surrounded by friends but um it's i never one thing i do in my life i never pretend that i'm something i'm not and i couldn't do the emcee thing i couldn't uh i i i couldn't be a stand-up it's not i'm not a good host um i couldn't do it i couldn't do it i couldn't do it i can do the q a in front of a billion people because i have nothing to hide i we can just shoot the shit right here and it's gonna be fine but the other thing is a discipline you know it may look loosey-goosey with a comedian but it's wow it's brutal well the film black or white again coming out this friday and uh like i said timing couldn't be better in terms of climate in this country race relations conversations and you know when uh there's a lot of decrees where we need to have an honest dialogue about race and then there's no honest dialogue that takes place after the decree of the honest dialogue takes place i look at this movie as an honest dialogue about race and there are many movies that have been made about these subjects but never one that really had a left a right a middle a gray a black and a white pardon the pun you know you're constantly kind of watching this movie thinking you yeah i agree with oh no maybe i think i agree with this one over here oh no i've changed my mind again which is i guess as a filmmaker which that means mission accomplished when you're the audience is sort of never really knowing well the audience isn't engaged yeah the audience isn't engaged in what's being said so they actually you know are watching a lot when you're engaged in this stuff in real life that's where it breaks down because somebody says you're a racist and all of a sudden fists are flying or the conversation somebody's walking the other way but when you're watching a movie and we decided not to pull any punches with what gets said the audience is going yeah i like what you was yeah that's what just what you said that's right yeah that's that's exactly right and then the other person says something you go you know what that was right it's like the last it's like the last person last person has a ball is going to win right and it's so it really works that way and then no one's offended because this language is really flying right well again i was just sort of sitting there marveling well not marveling but uh really realizing uh kevin's chops because there uh there is no explosions and there's no chase scenes it's just a very one-on-one but it doesn't feel like a small indie low budget film it just feels like the subject matter yeah it just shows you what happened you know when you get a really good document i'm you know talking about the boring stuff now the script then we go oh the script the script but honest to god i've read some in my life you know i've i've you know i've read some in my life and i've read some in my life and i've read you know i don't get to see a movie the way other people do so i'm a little bit jealous of it i see it on the couch on a 120 page script black and white right and and too often when i'm reading one it just it just you know just doesn't go anywhere and i'm such a lame person that i you know a lot of people go hey if something's not good after five pages i just put it down i because somebody wrote it and it's giving me i always like i take it to the end forever in my career i just read all 120 pages i just do but i have i have been able to be on my couch and and read something like dance of the wolves and go oh and read field of dreams and get at the end of it and go how did that work i mean it was on you know read bull durham and just go this is magic this is like a script is just really magic from the first page on and this happened with black or white you know mike binder a stand-up comic yeah doing pretty serious movies you know usually the guys like that roll in and stay into their sweet black or white uh and i got to chat with him a little bit after word uh as well um mike uh boy you would know from the hbo show or show mind of a married man mind of a married man um so how does it work so just let's go with the overall so kevin costner makes big budget hollywood movies and then kevin costner also has projects that he's passionate about yeah how how does it work do you have your own production company yeah well i have i i developed my own scripts i mean i'm pretty entrepreneurial in the sense that if i fall in love with something and i just don't fall out of love with it you know and the studios you know didn't deem something like dance with wolves or something i wanted to do i took that around to the studios twice all of them twice ended up having to put some of my own money into that bull durham was the exact same thing i mean shelton we we just we've like a couple of hookers on santa monica boulevard just peddling this script and no one would do it ended up making it for six million dollars so interestingly enough the hallmark of my career if somebody perceives it as successful half of those movies have been like movies that are like under you know 10 15 million dollars when how and i've tried this myself which is on a smaller scale but you get the script you you get meetings you pedal it around and you you essentially walk in just shaking a can begging yeah for money and i don't know i guess after the first couple of people pass on it it gets a certain stink to it yeah and then it becomes i don't know sloppy seconds or something and then it becomes i don't know sloppy seconds or something and then it becomes i don't know sloppy seconds or something and then it becomes i don't know sloppy seconds or something and and people pass on it i think because they heard someone else pass on it not based on the script because obviously if you read the script of bull durham or dances with wolves you have to respond to it yeah you do a lot of times people do recognize the writing but then they find a lot of ways to say no yeah but you know what good movie but we're not going to be able to sell that to italy right good movie so what happens is they have these kind of exits right you know that that because they want to try to maintain your relationship so that you do bodyguard two or three. So, but the. But, you know, in black or white, you know, it boiled down to I told Mike this was really great. And by the way, every studio I sent it to liked it. But because, you know, it doesn't fit into our slate. So I thought, you know, this is a powerful movie. This is, you know, without the cliche of I do feel like this is a movie everybody should go see because there are things that get said that you want to say. Sometimes things that you wish you did say and kind of, you know, people turn their head when you actually hear it. So I at the end of the day, since I promised Mike I was going to make it, you know, my big mouth and and I had to kind of back it up. So I at the end of the day, I just I had to, like, go down and say to the wife, I said, look, I'm going to put some of the money we have and I'm going to put all of it and make this movie. And she said, really, you think that's about you think that's smart? And I said, it doesn't feel very smart, does it? And she said, you know, I don't know. I said I said, but I promised. And so, yeah, I made it. Well, I mean, ultimately, and I don't know how you feel about this because I have the same conversations with my wife, which is, first off, it's something that you can leave behind. You know, I'm always jealous of the guys who make movies, and that's why I started writing books and making movies, because I felt like hosting radio shows, it all just goes up into the ether and gets sucked away somewhere and doing a podcast. And doing stand up, it's just talk, talk, talk. And now that I have twins that are eight years old, I want them to be able to pop a Blu-ray in. Yeah, see some stuff. And or read a book in 20 years and go, hey, that's what dad left behind. Because other than that, it's just, hey, your dad was funny. That's about all. That's about all they got. So doing something and having having having to be part of the legacy is is nice. But and I don't know if you feel. This way about it. But when I do something like this, people say, well, what do you think? How much you're going to get your money back? You know, this and that. I always just go, look, we we wrote the script. We made the film. We did the best we could. And now we're done. And I hope we get a return on our investment. But cosmically, we're done. You wrote the script or Mike wrote the script. You did a great job acting and you put it together. It's such a colossal, monumental task to make a movie. You have it. You're proud of it. You're done. You have. Yeah, there's a point where it's not yours anymore. And you're right. And then you go to your friends like you and say, hey, man, will you talk about this an hour? And will some of the people that like what you say, go see it for me? You know, that's what you hope. You know, you are you are a little bit on the corner with your your guitar case open and wondering. But, you know, I make a movie for people and I know that this movie will travel through time because, you know, movies right now, they're completely measured, you know, on the opening weekend. That is the measure of. Of a movie now. And you can't shout against the wind and go, well, it really isn't. But that's the way people look at it. But if you own a movie like you own your stuff, I own my stuff. You know, Bull Durham made for six million bucks. I'll bet you if you own that movie, you would have made a couple hundred million dollars and black or white. I think we'll travel through time. And why? Because I think it's relevant. I think that when people see it, just like a good book or a great song or even a great joke, you go, I heard the I heard the best. I heard the best joke yesterday. I heard that I read the best book last night. I, I, you know, there's a nature in of us to our nature is to share stuff that I like. You just can't help it. It's like it's an emotion, even though it's not an emotion. It's like I saw something good. You tell your friends. And I think black or white falls absolutely into that category of the Bull Durham's and the field of dreams and dance of the wolves. It's funny, but I was skipping my rope last night. And as I always do. And I was my wife was in the kitchen. My two kids are sick. And I just had the TV on and I was watching Wedding Crashers. And I'm a fan of Vince Vaughn's comedic acting ability. And I was in the middle of skipping my rope. And I just hit like I just watched a scene where Vince Vaughn was basically trying to get the hell off this island because he had the crazy chick. And she said she was a virgin. And he went he she he was freaked out and he wanted to go and his partner wanted to stay. And it was just a great it was it was just a great scene. And I literally just hit pause and I stopped skipping rope and I walked over to the kitchen and my wife was sitting there with their earbuds in doing something over the sink. And I said, come here, come here. And she was the first she was she's always immediately annoyed because she thinks it's going to be me on YouTube race in a car or something like that. And I said, come here. I want to show you something. She's like, I'm right in the middle. I said, just come here, come here. And we both just sat there and we just watched a scene of Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers. And we both laughed out loud. And I just thought, yeah, I stopped what I was doing to go share this thing. By the way, she's seen Wedding Crashers before. I just wanted we I wanted to enjoy it with her. Yeah, I wanted to share it with her. It was important that she just be there is that somebody sitting next to me. And by the way, if a homeless guy had been out front, I would have got him. But my wife wasn't home and dragged him in because I needed another human being to to share this way. Yeah, it is. It is nice that we're wired that way. You know, you just said something. I got to ask. I got to ask a question on the red carpet about weird things. Fans or something. What's the weirdest thing? And as I was going down, I go, you know, I had a thing. I had a person break into my house about, I don't know, 10, 12 years ago, my beach house. And they broke in. I wasn't there. And the only way I knew was there was a picture. I don't have pictures up of myself, but back in the back room where my parents stay once in a while, if they come to use a beach house, they have a picture of me. And the picture was turned over. It was broken glass. And on the back, it said, Kev, I didn't know this was your house. I'm down. I've been down on my luck. I just took a pair of pants. It looks like you're doing good. Oh, yeah. It was like somebody. It was probably getting ready to go through the whole house, but sign Charlie Sheen. But whatever it was, whatever it was, the picture, whatever relationship they had based on movies with me, it was like, Kev, so it was your house. Look, I'm I'm down on my luck. Pair of pants. You're doing good. So out probably broken to get the TV set and a bunch of electronics or cash or what have you. When he realized it was your house, he just stopped. He just took what it was. That was what he needed. Well, see, I've always thought that people this is this is you now have a relationship with these people. Like I've said a million times when I used to be on MTV all the time, it was always easy to pick up chicks and people are like, why? And I said, it's not because you're on TV like, oh, you're rich, you're on TV or you're famous, you're on TV. It's that if you go into a bar and they go, hey, it's the guy from Loveline. They know you. Yeah. All people want to do is know you. And then women, women don't want to go to a hotel room or leave, hop into a cab with a guy they don't know. They're freaked out. Even if the guy's good looking, even if he's wearing a nice suit. Ted Bundy was a good looking guy. Things can go south. What I'm saying is, is when they see you, they go, oh, I know this guy. You don't know them, but they know you. And this guy had a relationship. With you. And who knows? Tin cup. Who knows? Maybe it was all of them. Fame is like, you know, it's being famous is as close to being a beautiful woman as you can can get. Because you before I was famous, I go into the bar. I'd be the eighth best looking guy in the bar. And if a beautiful woman came in, you would watch. And by the end of the night, everybody made a run at her. Everybody. Right. And and guys just don't have that benefit. They just don't get that. And fame. You can go in. You become the blonde. Right. You just do. And it is. And and if you don't kind of actually come to grips with that, you just can turn into a real asshole. You know, you just go, you go, you go, I must be so special. I must be so. And you go, no, no, it's it's it's the movies, man. It's the it's this whole thing that you've had going on. This this extra thing that comes from being in the movies. And and and I, you know, I've always kind of had a grasp of that. And I think probably because I wasn't famous. At 19 or 20 is I, you know, I worked on commercial fishing boats. I framed houses. I did all this stuff. And when I finally started making money at 27, 28 with the big chill and then the no way out and that kind of thing, I was about to work. You know, I was I didn't find myself in Sunset Boulevard with my head out the roof doing cocaine off the hood of the car. I was like on to my next movie. I once I was rolling. I took a death. Well, can I ask you this, then on a much smaller scale, if I go out to lunch, maybe someone will come by and say hi or turn their head and go, hey, it's that guy from that show. Yeah. And someone someone always go, what's that like? What's that like? And I'll go, or how's that feel? And I always just say it feels like what I just feel like what it what it is, which is if you're on TV or if you're on movie. In a movie, they recognize you and then they say hi or they look at you, which but they're not looking at me. They're looking at. the guy who's on TV which is normal yeah and I don't know if you feel that way as well like I just feel like they're looking at the guy who's on their TV set that's why they're looking it doesn't feel that personal to me I don't feel invaded I just feel like what what else are they gonna do they do it with everyone well there's a lot of stuff that I mean I've had some amazing moments with that I think a lot half of what you say is true and then there's these other things that have come with these movies I remember when we did the the first Gulf War David Foster called me about singing a song you know singing and then all the celebrities come to sing and he'd called me first and always gave me credit that everybody you know came after that I don't I don't actually buy into that to be honest but it was a really impressive room we shot over here at Warner Brothers and we were there like for three hours and and they did this song and and it was a long time and there was a you know a lot of people there and you met him and Fosters the mega music producer and when it was all over I was I was making my way out and I mean I was I was tired and and I I do sign you know I've signed for people I mean I very rarely I just I just do I do it more than a lot of my colleagues I know it for a fact just how it goes but there's a moment in time where you're you're out of gas too and I was I was at that and I was you know how big those buildings are and I was walking down towards my car as the end of the thing and I heard this voice mr. Costner and I thought you know I was far enough away where I could get away with I'm not hearing I could have I could have it I walked a little bit more and I heard it again mr. Costner and I thought it's clear I didn't hear it so I just kept walking I heard the voice one more time and I just stopped I said what ass I just I stopped I looked at his woman she's right there okay she wants another picture another thing but I stopped and she says can I talk to you for a second I said of course and so she closed a distance and she said look you know that movie you made dances with wolves you know there's a scene in the end where you come back to the tribe and you you re-engage with stands with a fist and you jump off your horse and she's running up this snow hill and you guys hug each other like you're never gonna let each other go and she says a new role so it's the longest thing and I said yes she goes my husband is a prisoner of war and he's been captured and I don't know if I'm ever gonna see him again she goes all I think about is that moment and I thought to myself my god I'm so glad I heard heard that story I went home and cut those four or five frames out of that movie and sent it to her so in my life the idea about people see yeah it most of time it is that but sometimes a guy does said hey look I you know I spent the last two weeks with my dad in the hospital all we did was watch movies and all we did was watch yours so I will get those stories once in a while you know and they don't come a lot because a lot of it is just about the picture and autograph that you know is gonna be lost by the time they get home but sometimes with some of the movies I've been able to do I've gotten stories like that sure yeah and the problem is is you get one of those for every twenty guy who's a twenty guys who wants you to sign a bunch of pictures and sell it on eBay but it's worth it for that one you don't know which person it is and that's why you can't be fluid about it yeah it's unlikely it's gonna come from those guys as we know hold that thought Kevin ah let me talk about my good friends Arctic ease runners lifters weekend warriors your injuries they stop you well not anymore I got ice therapy it's Arctic ease it's instant cold wraps you just wrap up your elbow wrap up your knee whatever whatever's ailing you and get out there and keep it cool no freezer needed reusable I use it here we all use it here pull it off cut it whatever length you need instant long-lasting cold compression therapy even while you're training it stays in place space age technology don't put your training on ice get reusable Arctic ease cold wraps at CVS or our Arctic ease calm again black or white in theaters at this Friday I highly recommend it and like I said it Kevin was nice enough to invite me to a preview of it some some months ago yeah I think it was shot in New Orleans yeah correct but it doesn't you can't tell when you watched a movie it's supposed to be in Los Angeles supposed to be Compton in Brentwood Compton in Brentwood and and again you did a very masterful job of shooting it now I don't know who I don't know if you directed it or so Mike Mike directed he directed me an upside of anger and and he did he also wrote and directed this so for you you know obviously the Hollywood stuff and the big budget stuff pays the bills nicely but that's not necessarily where your passion lies although certainly once in a while you can combine the two which is you can you hope for but for you what is your next project independent wise and what or what are you interested in doing yeah well I've got you know I've got a Western that I want to do it's about 10 hours of Western I mean I just you know I love going back if anybody makes movies they are the really one of the funnest ones to make and I like I like them when they're really authentic when they're harsh when you realize that you know life and death was really random out there I mean the American West was populated with people who didn't speak the language who come from Europe and the Indians didn't really understand and so there's this if you really want to drill down on all those possibilities you realize that you get life and death out there was very random and it just you know somebody come by and they look at a graveyard and somebody go maybe this is a sign that maybe we shouldn't go on and somebody goes no they just weren't lucky we're going to be and I love kind of being in that you know and in kind of fashioning that kind of randomness that kind of level of violence around a story and you know the last four years I mean there is the impression that I can do whatever I want the truth is I actually do whatever I want but it's not like I can if if I want to do some of the things I almost find myself going it alone I mean it's looking here in your studio you kind of like carved out your own universe and you know I'm a co-author in a book that's gonna come out in in the fall you know and a high adventure book that I hope you know takes its place one day among like Rudyard Kipling or Jules Verne you know the big thing is like oh really yeah I that's what I hope I mean will it I don't know but when you do something you want it to last you want to be a a generational watch a generational read something that you know you look back on that you know that cool book on the shelf where you go boom so you know that's what I do you know I've got this little movie coming out of Disney movie you know you know about McFarlane it's a immigrants or migrant farm workers kids it true story I remember reading about it in Sports Illustrated 10-12 years ago this cross-country team oh yeah just saw some spots for it on TV won nine nine state championship these little Chicanos you know they just did just this coach went in there and it's in and it's it's it's a really wonderful movie and I started thinking about I actually played McFarlane because I lived one year in Visalia mm-hmm and played baseball against McFarlane so the high school the high school and so those are the kind of things I want to do you know I do have to almost create my own work well you know it's so funny because I talked to Francis Ford Coppola and I said he told me I interviewed him and he said I can't really make a movie in Hollywood I can make a gangster movie they'll let me make a mafia movie but they won't let me make a movie I want to make yeah when people don't realize is even these people that are multi Oscar recipients and Walk of Fames and Lifetime Achievements and blah blah blah you would think that Kevin Costner or Francis Ford Coppola could just walk into any studio and go look don't worry about the movie we want to make just give us a check it's us that's not really the way this business works it's sad that no matter how impressive your resume is and no matter what your incredible track record of success is it's still a what is this project that sounds like a tweener we're not sure how to market that from a foreign standpoint let's move on to our next Seth Rogen vehicle I feel like I'm ready to walk out of here I swear to God no you look at that and I tell you I was in I was in Amsterdam one time and went down and run those cafes where you know you're able to you know really partake and have a really a good time there was it was probably 1:00 2:00 in the morning and I I came out kind of just walking across these cobblestones and it was like a perfect night and I bumped into this dude and it was Francis Ford Coppola and he'd obviously been in a cafe and we just sat there in you know in Amsterdam just kind of looking up at all this stuff we're just all kind of on a different plane and just shot the shit back and forth and you can say stone by the way yeah podcast yeah yeah well when I when we when you know it was like kind of one of those really magical things where you you know sitting talking to the guy you know and we all identify with him but you're right you did you don't get everything you want and and guys like that and me and him we don't want to do things with committee it's like you know we know when something's right we also know when something's not working you just got to give us chance to massage that, to fix that. But no, people want to go really fast. They care what an audience wants, how to end your movie. And you go, no, if I wanted them to end my movie, I would have asked them for money and would have invited them to the set every day to lift stuff. But what I'm saying to anyone who's listening in whatever endeavor you're interested in, Kevin Costner has to get up and hustle every day. Francis Ford Coppola has to get up and hustle every day if he wants to realize his projects. My buddy Jimmy Kimmel has to get up and hustle every day. There's this notion that, well, once you get to a certain level, then you just sort of put it in neutral and coast. Unless you want to make that movie five times in a row. I'm not saying that's bad business. No, it's good business. That's what you do when the little individual thing you did didn't work. You hop back into that feather bed. Right. And you go, you know, so that's a good thing. It's a good way to play it. It's just not the way I played it, which made me not so smart. Well, again, you know, the best way, I'll put it to you this way. I mean, my philosophy, I tell people all the time, look, the best way to make money in almost any endeavor is to do one thing. The jack of all trades, you don't get rich doing that. You don't get bored, but you don't get rich. You work constructively. You work construction. I work construction. The best way to make money if you're in that field is you just do pools. That's all you do is pools. You get a gunite rig, you get a couple of vans and teams going, and you just do pools because you don't, you buy all the equipment you need to bend the rebar. You get all the trowels and floats and you do pools. That's it. And eventually you can make a million dollars a year just doing pools. But what you don't make money doing is framing one day cabinets or something like that. And you don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. You can do this one day, pools one day, custom closets, roofing, foundation. You don't make money doing that. You need all the different tools and you're constantly doing something else. Now, it might be very satisfying to say, I built this entire house because we all know just hanging drywall is boring as shit. I mean, you can go to a casino in Vegas and just be a sheet rocker and get paid by the sheet and make a pretty good living, but that's all you're doing. And it's not good for your soul. Now, that's the building. When it comes to this business, you're best, you're better off just being Michael Jackson. Just sing, just sing and write those songs. Don't go do a thousand different things. Don't write a book, make a movie, do a podcast, do standup. I'd make a lot better money if I just went, fuck it. All I do is standup. That's all I do. And I'm going to do HBO specials and I'm only going to focus on going and touring and playing and selling out venues and whatever. But I don't want to do that. I want to make an independent movie. I want to make a Paul Newman racing documentary. And- Costner, I imagine, I mean, a lot like Alec Baldwin, you know, they go, look, hey, good looking guy. You just be this guy in these types of movies and you shall go on and make millions and millions of bank, you know, be Floyd Mayweather Jr. Just box, make money and then make more money and box again. I don't know. You want to be, you want to keep, I mean, who doesn't want to keep their level of interest? I mean, I think about when I was a kid, man, and I played, I didn't play the soccer. I didn't play. I played basketball, baseball, football, and I played them during the seasons they rolled around. I didn't come home till the streetlights came on. I love that. You know, and now kids, you see kids and they go, oh no, I'm trying, I got an eight-year-old baseball player. He's got a private coach. He's got all that stuff. And I thought, you mean, you're not going to let him play basketball? You're not going to let him? I said, that's how you got better in sports. You know how you get better in sports? You play people that are better than you. All right. That's how you do it. When you're little, you learn how to play with your back to the basket because you got to back somebody in. And all through all the sports and you want your level of interest high and you think, okay, you're right. You do one thing. It is, but it's like, man, for me, I wasn't going to work in an office and I'd love nothing more than recess. When that bell went, I thought, man, everything was possible. And when I left college and I thought, you know, I got to have a life where everything's possible. I know not everybody can do that. And believe me, there was no guarantee it was going to happen for me. I mean, there was like probably all the signals that it wasn't going to happen for me. I was a stage manager, left university, went to Raleigh. I was at Raleigh studios, made $3 and 50 cents an hour. I was out of college. So my buddies were all making, you know, they would use that word 40 K. Remember that? I mean, whatever terms are always changing, right? I was making 40 K and I got my first, I got a company car and I got an expense account. And I was like, Whoa, shit. Whoa. Right. That's amazing. And I think I got an interview in like a month and I was making 24 bucks a day, but I was happy because I was like, I was taken, you know, I couldn't be a waiter, you know, and I'll tell you why. Cause I can't make change. I'm always bothered by when somebody gives you money plus eight cents or something like that. It's like, I don't, what'd you just do? So I couldn't be a waiter. Couldn't be a bartender, but because I was a laborer, cause I did construction. I wasn't even, I wasn't even good. Like you were, I was a really good laborer. I mean, if plywood had to get on the top and they didn't have a pettibone, I was the guy because I knew I could just go all day. My dad was out of the, was out of the Oklahoma. They came like Tom Joad. They had lost it all in the dust bowl. My dad only had one job. You know, we were lived in Compton, California. And, uh, he went to Compton college and met my mom, seventh grade. They've been together ever since. But that, that thing coming out of the depression, the dust bowl, Oklahoma crude. I mean, these are like fist fighters, you know? He just said, he said, no one will ever take your job if you just can outwork them. Right. And I, and I, that's what your dad taught you. It's held me up pretty good, man. Well, I, I, uh, a couple of things, um, a couple of thoughts. One is I always laugh. And when I think about your background growing up in Compton with your dad, with the work you did with your struggles, and then there's this sort of white privilege thing where it's like, well, you know, Costner looking at him over there with his blue eyes, never had a bad day, never worked his day in his life, had everything handed out to him. You know, it does suck to, to be lumped in with, uh, you know, the Sheen brothers who grew up in Malibu, just assuming that, well, your dad must've run one of the studios and then kicked you down a couple of sweet acting parts in high school. And then, then you was all, it's in, it's insane how everyone just assumes that because you're where you're at now, you must've started, and you must've started laterally, not in the basement. I mean, because you're somewhere near the penthouse. And I know I was going to say in the penthouse, but you probably wouldn't feel comfortable in the penthouse because you always want to feel like there's another floor to get to. So let's just say you're up on the 21st floor. People assume you started on the 20th floor or on basically third base of life, not, not in the dugout. You were cleaning the dugout. And I, I know you got whatever you got today. I mean, you're probably thankful for that experience because it's made you who you are today. It's just sad that when you say, Hey, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. Let's go. This is America. You can do it. Don't worry about what that guy's saying. And don't listen to that guy. Get to fucking work and let's do this. They go, well, of course, easy for you to say your dad ran show business. Yeah. People don't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. And I do know that not a lot of people, there's our, there are people that fall through the cracks and that's what our government's supposed to be about. Look, there, there, there are things where people aren't ever going to be able to emerge. And, and so those people do, but, you know, I totally bought into the idea that you could do whatever you wanted to do. But my, my mom in particular would always backed it up, but you got to work for it, man. You've got to like, and when it doesn't work, you got to figure out how to rework it. And when that doesn't figure out, you just got to, you just have to, to do it. So the, the dream was always out there, but my parents always backed it up and said, but you got to, you got to work for this. So it is a little bit, if someone thinks that about my life, then, then I really can't have a conversation with them because they don't have a clue. There was no guarantee. I didn't, you know, the first job I went to my first audition, I wore a suit. That's how stupid I was. You know, most guys were coming in with that, that kind of faded Levi shirt, or whatever that my dad wore every day to work. Cause he was as handsome as Paul Newman. Right. But I wore a suit because, and, you know, so I like learned the heart. I was a dweeb. I was like, I came from college. I go, well, you bear, you wear your best clothes when you go for a job interview. So if somebody looked at me, you know, the guys would laugh, you know, but I learned, but that's what I did. You know, I, you know, I went to public school. I learned how to get along. It was in fourth, it was in ninth, 10th, 11th, 12th, all different schools. You learn. I always, uh, also say this about this profession where people, you know, when I think, and I don't know how you feel, you can definitely tell me, you know, when I see that somebody hosted a game show for 30 years or did good morning, Los Angeles for 25 years, everyone thinks, well, what a career that guy really hit the lottery, you know, it's like 30 years working. And I think I feel sorry for them. And they go, why? And I go, because, part of the reason I wanted to get into this business was variety. Right. Um, everyone thinks it's about, money it's really about i'm sitting across from kevin costner doing a podcast right now and as soon as we're done i'm going to walk back to the other warehouse and we're going to have a conference call about the trailer for my independent movie and we're going to look at the poster we're going to try to design the poster then i'm going to walk back here and i'm going to do another podcast but it's going to be about cars and then we're going to walk back and we're going to work on this paul newman documentary that variety part and as i always say when you hear about the guy working at the postal sorting facility for 41 years you feel sorry for him and you go why and he goes because he's in the same place for 40 years look at the clock it you just when when i when i hit on acting when i hit on every you just don't look at the clock you you work late and you work with your friends and you laugh about stuff and you know early on you're pissed off about everybody else it is successful you look at somebody on tv and go i'm better than them you just can't help but do it but you go how do i how do i get there you know and eventually you kind of drop the i'm better than them and you just go to you just go to work you know and you and uh yeah it it's nice to not it's it's i can do anything i want i really can reinvent my life and i tell you the day that movies don't mean anything to me i won't do them right you know but my life is outside the movies is so is so much bigger than the movies i mean i have these things i'm seen on television i'm seen on the couches talking to the guys i'm i'm on the radio i'm i'm doing the things but honestly um and but people really out there probably they don't want to buy in they want to say oh yeah sure but it is it is it is seeing my uh my kids uh in little league it is seeing my my daughter um uh like the dresses more than the ballet so she's four years old she'd just rather buy the dresses you know that my kids are amazed me they are just like really funny and i and my older kids you know i i was 60 years old ma'am uh january 18th 60 years old that's just like it's like mind-boggling um but i i had my 27 my my 29 and my 31 year old daughter um stand up and talk about me in front of like 100 of my friends and and um there was a moment in time when i they couldn't cross the street by themselves but then to have them articulate who i was in their life in front of my friends was um powerful and i have that that ain't on film that's not for anybody else but i have that and and my life more often is about that than it is how it is i am known somebody uh matt from san jose has a question he's been waiting to ask you for a few minutes uh matt 25 hey how's it going guys good man good kevin costner i'm a big fan thanks matt um i was wondering have you done a lot of movies since like the early 80s um been a long time but throughout that time which movie did you enjoy making the most yeah that's you know um man i'll tell you because i kind of pick carefully because i kind of do the things that like i said earlier that i fall in love with there's a lot that i can look at and you know i mean i love making fandango you know i i loved uh making the untouchables i love making the westerns open range you know pitching a perfect game in yankee stadium so you can see right away why one wouldn't stand out and i love making the untouchables i love making the other and and probably because of that you know when people come up to me and want to say what movie is their favorite let alone me saying what my favorite is is i never know what's going to come out of their mouth and that actually feels good to me i think if if a hundred people came up to me and said one movie then number one that would be interesting that 100 people came up to but the idea that that it could be you know it usually is one of 10 movies that people will talk about i actually feel really good about that so drilling down on the one movie i don't know man um uh i you know um maybe bull durham you know maybe open range i love the scene in bull durham where everyone is standing at the pitcher's mound trying to figure out the wedding gift yeah i think it's a wedding gift either way the gift yeah and it's such a it's such a crazy it's the minor leagues it's the you know is number one you know rode those buses he played with bobby gritch and don baylor in and he didn't make it to the angels yeah he didn't make it to the bigs but i'm sure when i think about that that those guys probably look back at him you know always writing notes and going what's shelton up to yeah yeah oh so yeah because that really bull durham really felt like an insider's look at that world yeah it was and he rode the bus hey matt yeah do you you have a scene in the movie that you're going to talk about in the movie yeah i think it's a really good scene do you have a movie do you have a special costner moment um no but i do have a follow-up question how how much do you uh when you're picking movies you said you know you're very particular how uh do you do you ever do movies that you know you're not going to enjoy making but it's just going to be great for your legacy and you're going to get a lot of respect for it yeah no i've yeah but i but i have you know had one where i wasn't sure i don't know i could tell you what the next movie is but i don't know what the next movie is but i don't know what the next movie is the name of this but i said no to three or four times and then the director was a really well-known guy and he said please and um and i knew it wasn't i knew it wasn't a bad movie it was it was a good movie i just didn't think it was that exciting but he said please to me and he was a guy i really respect and he goes would you come help me do this thing and i said yeah i'm kind of a sucker i'm kind of a sucker for that you know noted by the way because i'll be making movies as well you know i mean kevin costner to be in it uh can i mean i do corporate gigs and all comedians do almost every comedian does a corporate gigs it's not something john stewart likes to brag about because we're going to keep it real but when somebody offers you a shitload of money to come over and do 20 minutes and they'll send the jet you can get leno you can get john stewart you can get adam caroll if you have less money um you do it to pay the bills yeah uh it's not part of your art or something you're proud of but i mean do on occasion will you take a corporate gig in terms of making a movie no this was this was a respected movie i just was not a movie that i said no to it just didn't match up with really what i wanted to do will you take one now i mean not something that you disagree with or you think's a piece of crap it's just look this is not the kind of movie i would want to make but they're good cash and the good cash enables me to make more of the movies i want to make yeah i it's um well you know whatever this good cash is that you get it's almost it's it's always half you know if you want to be a millionaire nowadays you got to make two you know you just you know so somebody you know um look i always will listen to it you know and if it and if and if you know but i pretty much don't i i pretty much don't do it um uh you know i'm not above it you know and i just um but making movies for money is something that's in the past or never existed it never really it never existed you know i i did hatfields and mccoys you know was i just like this movie you know um got a you know not not that much and i was really happy to do that you know um i never start a movie unless i think it has a chance to be great the problem is if i'm not controlling the movie a lot of times these movies you know they fall out of control and they fall out of control into that um committee thing that conventional wisdom and they were really good in the writing and what happens sometimes people go through with a fine-tooth comb and take out those scenes that make people just a little bit uncomfortable we don't need that well you know suddenly everybody's declaring what we don't need and i said yes to a movie that i thought was actually written really well and hit on all those cylinders and all of a sudden you see those things start to evaporate so i've had movies that were had a chance to be great that just end up being kind of good they weren't embarrassing they're just kind of good i look anybody who's tried to do a sitcom with a studio knows the whole committee but but first off what artistic endeavor historically has ever worked by committee you picture a novel you picture a painting you picture sculpture architecture a movie what has ever worked with a whole bunch of people standing around second guessing michelangelo or whoever well has it ever worked historically ever worked well i tell you when i tested dancers with wolves number one no one was sure it was going to work it was three hours long and we went to phoenix to test it this was probably where i they were going to end up telling me what time it was like now do you see that this doesn't work and listen i i didn't know i just i kind of knew i liked it uh and this thing tested like unbelievable it tested high in the 90s they asked the asked the focus group they asked the focus group to test it and they didn't test it and they didn't test it and they they let number one the whole theater fills in the cars but at the end they actually asked 30 people to stay and and talk personally to them you know and one of the first questions they asked is this movie too long right and not one hand went up right and it had this high score so it wasn't wasn't going to be too long it wasn't anything and so everybody suddenly going oh my god that you know we got a three-hour movie what are we going to do with this that works and the whole thing and then so they were trying to look at what they could do and and they also asked these cards a question And what's your favorite scene? Some of the people wrote down their favorite scenes. scene in that movie they also asked what's your what's the what's the least favorite scene you have well there was two that came up consistently they didn't like the horse dying and they didn't like the wolf dying and people showed me that we could have a perfect movie right if we get rid of the horse dying and the wolf dying you know an empirical evidence said that that that people don't like these two scenes right well the reality is that's what made the movie you made you gave it the power because you hated that that that happened right and so you know you know i was you know i was kind of you know am i a megalomaniac i gotta you know like these guys let me make a three-hour movie and i can't give them these two things back right you know so you kind of go man i'm i feel like i'm in a position where i can't win right again but but i'm also trying to protect the movie you know it's like i i kind of think of a movie as like a patient that can't speak for itself you know you it's over here you know and it's on oxygen and you know and you're saying well we maybe we should take it off oxygen and the person's going what are you talking about well first off i number one the executives didn't make me do that over there mike medevoy and bill bernstein didn't you know thank god they really backed me up but the evidence said the evidence you know that these guys had added up so if you get rid of those two scenes this movie's perfect well as i said as it pertains to testing first off i always say look as when i was trying to do a sitcom and those days are over because you can't fight you just you can't fight city hall or cbs or abc or nbc i said look if they had audience testing every time carol o'connor archie bunker walked into the room and yelled something at edith or called meathead a polak they all would have turned down they would have went like oh so it's it's it's essentially yes no one wants to see a dead horse and no one wants to see a dead wolf everyone likes wolf especially when you like the wolf it's it's sad but it's like saying i want to make a bond movie but no villain right well you have to have the salt to bring out the sugar yeah and i know no of course if you have to pick a part where jesus made you the sad it's not that you didn't like it it's that it made you feel the most uncomfortable or the saddest and you know and the and the and the big one i left it out was you know this guy writes a journal during the course of that movie a journal and it eventually gets lost so it's a kind of a you hate to see history floating away so to speak but when this one soldier finds it he uses it as toilet paper he said can we please get rid of that and i thought no because one man's poetry was just another guy's toilet paper i said that allows me to choke that guy and hold him underwater and drown him right we we all wanted that because that was all our journal and this guy just treated it like a piece of shit you know what i mean and so i go i know that's painful but that's their least favorite scene and you go but it's it's not it's actually the thing that props the movie up and so you you know like luckily we could carry the converse carried the day with that conversation but some of the movies i'm talking about some of these other moments that are equally a little bit uncomfortable um either to the directors or whatever they they you know the committee is too big and they can't carry the day and so that movie to me just starts to float away down the stream a little bit not by it's you know people will say it's the same movie we just don't have that scene but i go you know what it's not and not only that what people say and here's the problem with the committee they pull you aside and they go look you just did a three-hour movie everyone loves it all they're asking for is these two scenes just give it to them give it to them just out of respect you know it's always some guy who you know you want to be in his good graces you you don't want to disrespect him just give it to him it's this weird sort sort of you're you're you're at a at a turkish bazaar and you're you're haggling in front of some date stand or something it's like just give it to him you know i know you think this is a really funny joke or you think this is a really poignant moment but so and so at the network didn't or so and so at the studio didn't and let's let's just give it to him right and then you become in this you become like an art dealer like you're like you're trading art you you made the film you understand the film better than anyone and what you're really just saying is okay i'll make the film three percent worse by just giving it to him because this person that really has nothing to do with this process that joined in the 11th hour of this process wants something wants a little respect give him a little respect cut a scene you like come on and i was lucky be a team player i was lucky that metavoy and and bill bernstein you know you know backed me up but it could have just it's been easily somebody else who did didn't understand it and then now i'm in that position of being this kind of guy that makes a three-hour movie and won't give us these two little things i mean megalomaniac and so you know that's how it starts how in terms of uh black or white there's a movie with a lot of very poignant scenes in it um you didn't direct it you didn't write it are you going into the edit bay no what has happened is i actually probably keep the director from second guessing himself because the language is good and it's harsh in places and it's stuff that you know guys want to hear guys feel like they want to say it and that's why i hope people go see black or white because it's it makes you laugh and you know you kind of kind of go finally somebody's saying this stuff but because i paid for it uh i protected it and so those things that were the most delicate moments in the film uh they were not at risk at all and and directors believe it or not you know writer directors you know you'd think hey you wrote this man why are you second guessing it it's just the nature of it and i'm like there to be like either their big brother in the school i go no you're fine we're fine but in fact if we don't say this we're really we're really punking out so are you are you going in the bay or are you just looking at cuts going what happened to this scene or what i went into i would go into the bay late you know for me i don't have a pride of authorship if a guy's a genius and it proves out then i'll accept that if he's not we're going to go in there and put humpty dumpty back together again because we've got the scenes and so yeah i went into the bay but i really respected my director but you know at a certain point i said no no we're we're gonna we're gonna stay with these words we're gonna maybe you know the scene it doesn't need to be cut shorter let it play a little bit longer and mike and i had a really good collaborative experience the uh movie again in theaters this friday and uh speaking of coming up uh valentine's day coming up everybody kevin what is uh before we uh wrap out here black or white like i said uh if you want to go online you can go to uh kevin costner.com and find out how many theaters is the movie opening up in i don't think they know you know at this point i mean at first you know wasn't nobody was even going to you know distribute this and relativity came in and said we like this movie a lot and so it went from like you know 500 to a thousand now they're at 15 now they're at 18 maybe they're at 2000 people are starting the theaters are starting to ask for the movie the theater owners right and so uh you know it's my hope that uh the people listening um go i really it would it would it would be good if you went i also think you won't be disappointed i think you'll find yourself laughing about some stuff you never thought i think you're gonna hear some stuff that you think you wish you might have said well the other thing is if you uh are a friend of the show and you like kevin costner go out and see it this weekend because i feel like a lot of people go all right that sounds a good movie i want to see it i'll get to it when i get to it but in terms of us the guys who make the films unfortunately if you don't see that opening weekend then you can't expand then we can't get it to a theater near you it starts off with a smaller number of screens and depending on what it does in the opening weekend they'll decide of whether it expands because or retards and you may have family members who live in a city that don't have the movie but you go out and see it wherever you are and it'll get into a theater so that your friends and family well the good thing they're theater it's exactly right the good thing though is that no matter when you see it you're going to see a movie that wasn't made by committee you're going to see what what um i thought was important what i thought was entertaining um and it is a movie of our time right now i took this movie to st louis you know i was on my way down i said you know somebody said why you want to take it to st louis i mean maybe we shouldn't do that right the whole ferguson thing yeah we don't want to let's just leave that one alone i said really why is ferguson not a part of the united states right is st louis not you know i said i said this is a we are that so let's let's take the movie and guess what it succeeded wildly you know it was great and it's like then everybody calmed down but you know i'm not nervous about what you're going to see i'm really confident you know um about what black or white is uh a good note to go out on i'm going to be uh doing a live podcast uh irvine improv coming up thursday february 12th greg fitzsimmons going to be on stage with us and then uh we'll be doing the ice house in pasadena that's on the 24th you want to get some mangria for the super bowl kevin we'll give you a little mangria before you leave uh you can go ahead and go to corolla drinks and uh take a knee and yeah go to adam and all the stuff uh the uh take a knee He's been really good. He's been doing inspirational podcasts. This probably should have been. been uh one of them and uh as always amazon.com and uh bookmark us and keep the pirate ship afloat kevin uh likes pirate ships we got a pirate ship over here and we count on the people that are listening to bookmark us and click through amazon and do all the stuff to make this little experiment work out so nicely god bless you kevin you've uh made a fine fine film and a few people have any intestinal fortitude whatsoever you'll go out and see it this friday black or white kevin always good to see you again my friend thanks adam so until next time this adam crow for kevin costner saying mahalo hello and welcome to pluto foe if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on pluto tv where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long catch anchorman the legend of ron burgundy fantastic the matrix trilogy welcome to the real world mean girls shut up titanic i'm the king of the world and so much more for showtimes press nothing they're free 24 7 that is so fetched on pluto tv stream now pay never all right that was adam crow show 1498 that does it for this weekend's coral classics make sure to tune next weekend for three all-new installments until then mahalo and get it on until then mahalo and get it on hello and welcome to pluto foe if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on pluto tv where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long catch anchorman the legend of ron burgundy fantastic the matrix trilogy welcome to the real world mean girls shut up titanic i'm the king of the world and so much more for showtimes press nothing they're free 24 7 that is so fetched on pluto tv stream now pay never podcasting isn't just about talking it's about growing engaging and monetizing and that's where podcast one pro comes in whether you're an independent creator or a major brand creator you're going to have to buy and podcast one pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level we're talking about premium hosting advanced analytics dynamic ad integration and expert distribution all designed to maximize your reach and revenue plus with access to podcast one's industry leading network you'll be connected to top tier advertisers and a massive audience it's time to go pro and turn your passion into profit visit podcast1pro.com to get started today podcast one pro the power behind the podcast hello and welcome to pluto phone if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on pluto tv where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long catch anchorman the legend of ron burgundy fantastic the matrix trilogy welcome to the real world mean girls shut up titanic i'm the king of the world and so much more for showtimes press nothing they're free 24 7 that is so fetched on pluto tv stream now pay never