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If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, NOCD can help. Look at free 15-minute call to get started at NOCD.com. Cheers! Cheers! Welcome to the hands of pod, I'm Fortune. I'm May. I'm TIG. Oh, we did just first name, so is that the first time we've done that? Why not? Change it up. Really keep people on their toes. We're seeing a tarot. They can look up our last names. Do we have to tell them? Yeah. Must we not? It's so good to see you guys, it's been so long. It has been so long and yet you're still in that room. I will find a room with a recliner and good luck getting me out of it. Do you have a recliner at your house? No. When I travel, I'm always on the hump for, why can't I think of the recliner? My brain just went all the way down. My mom has two recliners in her place, side by side. Nice. I like that. Does she have the drink holders in there? No drink holders, but they share, have a little table in between, so when I go visit. Have you seen those big couches that are like L-shape and they have a drink holder? I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. Each scene reclines. I wish. Was it in the 70s or the 60s that people had? I will take this question. Yeah, tick. A recessed living room that was like a sunken. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like a conversation pit and really just designed for gatherings, yeah. I love the conversation pit. Yeah. Put me in a pit and let me chat. That's what this show is. It's a conversation pit. Yeah. I just. I saw my friend Matt, who lives with me, he said, "Wouldn't it be funny if when you go into a court. " A guy on fire in the backyard? Yeah, the guy on fire with the tree almost falling. I'm sorry. He said, "Wouldn't it be funny if he just dressed up as me and logged into the Zoom and just tried to do the podcast as really committed?" He's got these big bushy eyebrows, he's bald. I would love this. His tattoo is all over him. We should do that. That would be such a fun episode where you have somebody fill in for another one for one of the hosts and you don't even, and the person that fills in pretends to be and does their best impression of the host and just claims to be them. And we don't acknowledge it. Never acknowledge it. No. I think that would be a surely serone is available. Oh. Is it serone? Heron, whatever. No, it's serone. It's serone. I need to know. I don't know. It's serone. It's serone. Everybody says it differently. I know. I think it's theiron, actually. No. I think it's South Africa. It's like Taroon. Oh, that's a whole other ball game. How do you know this? I swear I've seen an interview with her where she's like, "Actually, it's Taroon." When I think she's accepted, but I think she has accepted that everyone says "therone." Yeah. It has a nice ring to it. How do you say it? Yeah. It's not "theron." Yeah. It's. It says "theron," but. Oh, dear. I don't know. Honestly, I do believe that that probably is accurate, that there's some other pronunciation of it that no one gets right. Take who would you have, filling in for you. Please can it be Finn? Comprus. Well, we, you know, we don't put pictures or videos of our children online. It would be a big, a big, like, pivot. Yeah. It'd be a massive pivot. I would probably go with Adam Scott, because we have had an ongoing. I don't know if I've told you this, but people have made collages of our faces together and he and I have had. Yes. And he and I have had this plan for 15, 20 years, too, and we've never done it, too. If we are both promoting something at the same time, go on talk shows as each other. I love that. I would answer to the best of our ability. I really like that. Yeah. So, it's so bizarre that people think I look like him and that people think I look like Tom Cruise because he and Tom Cruise don't look alike, right? Well, I think you're all. Yeah. If we live in a simulation, you guys are like on the same sort of thread of type of face. Okay. I feel good. Yeah. And what's thread of. What face thread are you, too, on? I like to think I'm, or I get told, I'm. The guy played Eric Foreman on that 70s show, what's his name? There's some actor. Tofer Grace. Tofer Grace, I get. I also get. There's some guy, too, that Stephanie's always like, "There's May." I want to say Joshua Jackson, because. Yes. No way. Yes. Really? I don't see that. He looks like my dad. A lot. And yeah, I want to. I want to play his. Oh, maybe in the eyes a little bit. Mm-hmm. How about me? Hold on. Yeah. Oh. Owen Wilson. Oh. Owen Wilson meets Shirley Temple. Yeah. I see. Look at this. Look at the smolder. You actually look like a very pretty little lady right now. You really do. Yeah. The light, y'all. And blues my color. And it's the recliner you're sitting in. And there's the recliner. The life in me. And the. The headphones are kind of like a hair band. Yeah. Oh. That's what it is, girl. Y'all shut us out. We're in hair bands. Like, Parvati and, uh, what was it, Traders? She wore like T.R. as almost, yeah, like they. Remember, people used to wear just a thick hair band all the time, I think. Yes. Yeah. Does Parvati have any reality shows or competitions coming up? No. Nothing coming up at the moment. Okay. Okay. That girl, but she's sort of competing for money somewhere. I know. I know. Yeah. She had better. When those competitions, I really want to create my own. I do think that's in my future as an unscripted competition show that I want to produce. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I would love it. A thousand percent, you could create something really cool. Well, I'm so bossy. And when my friends come over, I make them compete. So that's very bossy. Very bossy. I don't see you as bossy. I feel like if you got bossy, I'd just say no. That's why I don't get bossy with you. But I think Mae's not bossy with you because it's hard to boss you. You're unbossable. Oh, that's not true. There are many people that boss me. Really? Oh, yeah. And then there's many people that overstep with weird situations. Right. I do say you're not the boss of me. No. I cower and run away. And then about a month later, I say, you can't treat me like that. They're like, what are you referring to? I don't want to go. You can't treat me like that. I finally built up my confidence to say what you did instead is so hurtful. Wow. Yeah. I'm the most unmasked in my bossiness when I'm hosting, when I'm at my house, because it's a combination of show and tell where I'm like, look at this cool gadget I have. But I sort of make everybody like, I don't let things flow naturally. I'm kind of like, now we'll sit here and I'll show you this thing and then we'll play this game. And then we'll. This is my thing. I've never been available to go to any of your things because I would just ruin everything. I was just saying, no, no, no, no, but that's a crucial element that I also enjoy like that. That sort of completes the picture. If there's one person there who's kind of nagging me or not participating, then I, I, I, you're going to try to find great joy in that too. Yeah. Well, yeah. And you don't have a personality where I, I feel like I'm going.
to hurt your feelings, like I think that you get it and you roll with my silly, but true, no. Anything, yeah, silly, and also I mean it. Also, get off of me. I feel safe with people who they say what they feel and mean, and then I know if they're doing something, it's because they want to do it, and not because they're-- Isn't it the best? It's the best, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wish I was more like that. I have a friend who has very strict boundaries. She's in recovery, AA, all of that kind of stuff, and I know this doesn't work for everybody, and it's not like a dreamy scenario, but I'm always like, good, love it, because she'll just be like, I need everybody to go home now. I'm finished. And I'm just like, I can't really get out of my house. Yeah, but it's also like, she has a regular gathering, and you kind of know it's coming. Because you know when she's hit the wall, and the socializing is done, and then she's like, everyone out, and I'm just like, great, I love a clear boundary, you know, because everybody is probably thinking, oh, it's time to wrap it up, and then you don't have to all individually be like, oh, it's my time to go, you just have the host to be like, this is, it's over now, I like that. Yeah, I don't know, that stuff doesn't bother me at all, at all. I was casually dating someone for a while where she has a phrase, ripcord, where it's like if we're hanging out, if you're ever like, you know what, I actually don't want you to sleep over tonight, I want to be alone in my bed, or like, let's, you know, or this hangout's done, you just say ripcord, and it's like, you're just pulling the cord on the hang, it's like, okay, great, fun hang, see you later. Yeah. And just knowing the options there makes it so relaxing. Yeah. Yeah. Although, I would suck it, because you said that like, yeah, this is a big, opportune log song. I should know. Your initial part. Yeah. Is that what that, what is a ripcord? Is it like an emergency parachute? I think I'm a ripcord on a surfboard. But that can't be right. Are you thinking of rip curl? Yeah, curl. What is that? What is that ankle thing on here? What is that ankle thing? That's called a rip curl? No, I think rip curl is a company of a surfboard. No, on a surfboard, there's the thing that goes around your ankle. Yeah, I think it's called an ankle thingy. Oh, we're going to have to Google it, aren't we? Ripcord is what the ankle ripcord, it's commonly a manual release cord or cable used to deploy a parachute in skydiving. Oh, yeah. Or to put around your ankle when you're on a boogie board. No, would you surfboard your parachute? I'd do it now. I would never parachute. Me neither. God, no, no way. Not a tandem thing. Oh, it's a surfboard leash. Not anywhere in the way. That's what I'm saying is rip curl is a company. You're right. It is. I know, I'm right. And I would never parachute in a million trillion years. Unless it's the three of us holding hands. I'm still holding hands. Thomas, put it on the list. Can we put also push us out of the plane? Oh, my God, or indoor skydiving. How about that? You know where it's in a big tube and a blast air? The three of us holding hands and doing that would be. Yes. That's what may want. And that's what may we'll get. Did I ever tell you about that when I did I did that I did indoor skydiving and at the end you got a photo of yourself like that they send you. Did I tell you this and they sent it to my parents and I sent it to a friend and then my friend wrote back and said, this isn't you. And I zoomed in. It was a little boy that they and my parents didn't notice. Nor did you. I was like, yeah, that's that's me. Yeah. It's a little boy. They're like, why are you sending us this? We took Max and Finn to one of those when I had a show in Vegas. And they were probably six at the time. Tiny to be flying. Yeah. But it was so. They were so excited. It was so cute. But it was also like, Oh, man, like if if anything goes a little sideways, it, it yeah. But it was so overwhelming. Yeah. Yeah. As a parent, it was a moment of like, okay, we're going to let him we're going to let him do this. And then we were like on the side like. Yeah. I don't want to do any of that stuff. And my fear was confirmed. There was not to be too graphic, but there was a girl in Brazil who was doing it when the bungee jumping off of bridge. And they didn't have a bungee to her to her. Fuck, I read about that. And it was like a month ago. Yeah. Terrified. That's like guys trying to slay. Yeah. She didn't live. No. There was no nothing. No cord. And they were filling it. No, it was below her. Not good. But I'm just like, I don't want to do any that venture stuff. I'm so crazy that such a funny daddy with that stuff. Well, plus you got your recliner. Why would I leave paradise? Yeah. Yeah. You know, in the words of TLC, don't go chase her falls, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. It's word solid by true. That is terrible. I agree. That's terrible. You got to drink big. You got it on me, man. Tracing waterfalls. Yeah. You got to get out of your comfort zone. It grasses that was greener. We can't all sit home. I'm sticking to the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to. What about in the words of Oscar Wilde shoot for the moon? And even if you miss, you land in the stars. Yeah, true. Sometimes you just float away in space and die of slow death. Anyways, what if we find a way to attach you, would you parachute in the recliner? Like we find a way that you can stay seated in the recliner. I don't want to I don't want to parachute. I don't want to bungee jump. I don't want to paragliding. I don't want to go to space. I don't want to go into submarine. I don't respect your boundaries. I don't want to paddle board. I don't want to water. I don't want to water ski. Water ski? Yeah, you heard me. What about water ski? What about snow ski? Don't want to do that either. Really? Yeah. What do you want to do? Checking I'll say first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I actually agree with my interior decorator's taste before I let them design my living room. I have regrets. I'm sure they thought that the black and white photograph of a man dressed in a tuxedo was elegant, but I'm not sure if it fits my vibe. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check all state first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with all state potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability all state North American insurance company and affiliates Northbrook Illinois. This episode of handsome is brought to you by our friends at wild grain. 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And I couldn't control my turning, and I started going down the death, black, diamond thing. And I didn't know what to do, so I just made myself fall, just wiped out. I found it terrifying. Well, have you snowboarded, don't go to chasing a lot of falls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you used to? I feel like you slowed that down, and you gave it a real grunge, a little something on there. I got russets playing when you booted down that hill. I've wakeboarded and water-skied and knee-boarded, and I'm weirdly good at knee-boarding. I think I got good knees. I have no questions mad about that, too. What a terrible attitude. Thomas, can you block her? Get your blocker. Name another thing you love. Can you do a blackout? Wait, what's another thing, Hula? I said name one, name one, other outdoorsy, dangerous thing. Rock climbing. Okay, I have something controversial. Controversial. Controversial, Thomas. Controversial. What is it? I don't like hearthands. Wow. Why are you against Swifties? Is that Swiftie? Is it? No, it's just that generation. I love Taylor Swift. I just don't like hearthands. Why? Do you think that is? I can't figure it out. It's just, it's not fully hard. It's really hard. No, it's just, you know what? Maybe it's just that everyone does it now, and I'm like, Thomas, stop doing hearthands. But you know in Korea, they do this, which is a heart, and I think that's cuter. Oh, I like that. Yeah, that's like- I can work with that. Yeah, that's a little heart. You see people do that in photos, and it's a little better than this. Do you like hearthands? I liked it one time on this tour when a man had a seizure in the audience, and so we ended the show, and they were calling the medics, and it was really scary, and so everyone was being very quiet and respectfully leaving, and so instead of like bowing and people clapping and cheering, I just went like this, and the whole audience was sending, was doing the heart thing back, and I was like, okay, so I liked it then. Thank you. But when you say you liked it once on this tour, is that implying that you also are not crazy about hearthands? I would never- Please tell us the truth. I would never. It was the only time I've done it, like it's come, I've spontaneously done it, and other than that, I don't think I would ever do it really, but Thomas just did a whole other one. Yeah. That one I really don't like. Yeah. I don't like Thomas. Right, right. Yeah. What else do we not like? But fortune, or you love hearthands? I don't mind them, but you love them. I don't go doing it, but I don't mind it, you know what I mean? Okay, and may have you only gone doing it once? Yeah, I've only gone doing it once. I have not done any except on here, but if someone does it to me, I'll do it back. I find that my heart's not great, that other people seem to do it better. This feels like when I try to do it, it feels awkward. Right. I think when there's like a surge of everybody doing something, I immediately go, I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah. Like when people with the flashmob's, you know, like, let's, why have we not talked about flashmob's on this podcast? Girl. Girl. Girl. Girl. Girl. Get into it. They are crazy. I haven't seen one in a while, but those proposal videos that went around for a while where it was like, that was beautiful, looking for something fun to do. I have to confess, I enjoyed that when I first saw that. Did you? I did. I was like, well, this is fun. You were like, what the hell am I watching? You're like, I wish I'd come up with that. I like the idea. I like sort of this surprise of like the break from the norm of like, oh my god, everyone's it, but I would hate to be proposed to that way because the pressure, one million percent don't want to be proposed to like that. But that was, I think, maybe the one and only thing like that that I ever saw. And I was like, this is, I just loved how this was fully orchestrated. Yeah. But I'm not like, I love a mob situation. I think it was flashmob, whatever it's called. I think it was maybe this American life when it was a TV show. They had this, I think it was on this where they had a bunch of people learn a completely unknown bands, all of their music, and then went and saw them live. And then when the band came on, everybody was dancing and singing all of the songs. That was true. I don't know what that was from either, but I remember that. Dude, I like things like that. That's cool. Like a, just for the sake of it, like a big absurd prank. Yeah. And the band was just, they were like playing going, the hell was that? And I was sold out with people knowing all of the words. I think it was this American life. Was that, was that that time I feel like that's something you would know? But that kind of thing is, I just love, it's such a funny little moment. Wait, was this American life? Yeah, the episode is called "Mine Games." And what was the band called? Well, it was about psychological torture. The band was called "Ghosts of Pasha," playing their first ever tour in New York. Oh, that's so good. And it's sold out, everyone knows their music. That's so good. There was a thing in the, at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, there was a group that would do that every night pick, they would pick a tiny show that was like struggling for numbers and some pub and they would all sell it out. That's awesome. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. That's awesome. You don't like the music thing, fortune. Oh, I don't mind any of it. I'm, it's, people want to dance in a group and learn, well, what is? Yeah. I was never in a flash mob or, we're going to go in a flash mob. No, but put it on the list, you know? I'll do it. I can't even, I even have a heart, I occasionally try to learn one of those tick-tock dances. Why? Can you feel yourself doing that, please? And send it to us. I did for myself doing one, back when Megan Trainor had this popular song and I poked myself in the eye while still trying to do this dance. I just don't understand, people learn these dances so quickly. I know. Martijn. Martijn. Probably. Yeah. I don't know. The three of us are not, well, fortune, you're actually, I've got, I don't know, I'm speaking out of turn. I can't say the three of us are not natural dancers, but actually fortune. Oh, I do have rhythm. You have rhythm, tick-tock is rhythm is going to get you down in a day. Oh my gosh. I'm like the master of fingers, yeah, you are. That's really good. That was your nickname in high school. That's right. Hey. Oh, if it isn't the master, Stephanie told me she posted a video of me dancing recently. Wait. Yeah. It's improving. Yeah, yeah. It's on Stephanie's Instagram. That's how people know you're okay. I was hanging out with them, like old, old school friend, like best friends. And then we were talking about dancing and we were like, we should go out tonight and then one of them said, are you going to do your dip? And I was like, what's my dip? And everyone was like, oh, yeah, your, your dip, you do your dip. And I, I don't know that I do that, but I guess if I'm drunk and dancing, I, I dip. Like my, but it's weird how people know things about it. Can we see a little bit of it? Yeah. What does that mean? I was assuming you dipped another person. No, no, it's, and it must be unconscious when I do it, because I actually don't know what it is. I guess it's something like, oh, yeah, I'm trying to imagine if I was spontaneously there. There you go. I don't know how to dance. And then what am I, what am I dipping? I don't know. What am I dipping? I don't know. Oh, there's a dip. There's a dip. Oh, maybe. Maybe my dip's go low. Do we have it on the list that all three of us go out dancing together? I think it's, to go to the club. Like we have to go to a night club. I think it's due to a lesbian or a gay bar. Yes. Oh, I think they're opening, I think that they are opening a lesbian bar.
back up in LA. Oh, yeah. I think so. Is there not one now? There is not. Oh, Thomas says that what we do have on the list, I have no memory of this. Oh, learn the dance from Chicago. Come on, boys. I do learn that dance. And all that, that, that, oh, they have this in that dance. And they do, and they do shoulder things, shoulder shimmies. But Taylor Lane has been in Chicago on Broadway. How awesome is that? Well, lest we forget that TIG was almost in Chicago, starring in it on Broadway with. That's the role that he's playing. What's that really? Billy or whatever? Wow. Yeah. Billy. I'm doing a show with Mateo in Calgary. But that, that wasn't what I was going to say. I was going to say, I've never met Pamela Anderson that I would love to. So I could tell her that I was all that was Billy. Pamela Anderson, I have a lot in common. What is that? We both have the same birthday and we have huge knockers. Your international sucks symbols. Happy. But we do have the same birthday on Canada today. She's got my ex's birthday. Yeah. And we both have TIGO bitties. That is indeed correct. Now, should we get to our question? Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Oh, y'all. I'm very excited about today's question. Ask her because she is hilarious. Yes, she is. She's so funny. She's an Emmy-nominated actor and comedian who played Trudy on Reno 9-1-1, truly one of the greatest comedy television series ever. And she's currently and on the four seasons on Netflix with Tina Fay and a very talented cast. She's also a member of the renowned comedy sketch group, The State. Carrie Kenney Silver is asking today's question. Nice. Hi handsome pod. Hi beautiful friends. It's Carrie Kenney Silver. Hi. Bye. Hi you guys. I have a brilliant question for you. Have any of you ever had a particularly embarrassing or uncomfortable or ideally mortifying experience with an audience member or a fan, either during a live show or out in the wild? Oh great. Y'all watch Reno 9-1 where y'all I never did. I have seen it. I had a at one time close friend that was on that show and so I was very familiar with the cast and element. Oh and also Nick Swartzen was on that show. Yeah. God that shows so ridiculous. So funny. Oh my gosh. Oh you know what I did see also was Natasha Legiro. She played a pantless person in the pantless pantless. They just would blur her out and she was just about pants. That's funny. I think she's done that on a couple of shows. She's so ridiculous. Yeah they had all these recurring characters that had some shake that would continue that throughout. Yeah. But man that show was so good. We should get a question from Natasha by the way sidebar. Yes. Yeah. Natasha is so deeply funny. Benz and Carrie. I mean she's like really silly. She's got funny bones. Yes she does. Yes she does. Very funny bones. I did a guest start with her on Aquafina show. And we had such a lovely time. She's fantastic. And one of her best friends is Pink. No way. It's also wonderful. I've never met Pink. How did they become best friends? I believe they live near each other for a long time. Wow. Alicia. Oh yeah that's Pink's real name. Yeah. The things that you know and don't know. I know why do you know that? Pink's name is Alicia. Summer calendars fill up fast. Weddings, concerts, sporting events, listening to podcasts, feels like every weekend has something going on. And when you're out seeing people and making memories, it's nice feeling confident in how you look. That's one reason to make neutralful part of your routine. NutriFull is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand. And it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologist. NutriFull's hair growth supplements are peer reviewed. NSF certified for sport and clinically tested. 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Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain. Showcase your offerings with a professional website. Grow your brand and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place. I know. I like that. I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something. It's just all my. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like a, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the. You know, it's all in one place. The video or the audio or like no, I want it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please. Yes. And you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. You know, being the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. They're SEO tools, which I know what those are and they're custom domains. Oh, what's come up with a domain right now. It's a wonderful to exist. WWW dot friends meeting friends, friends meeting friends dot com. That's an original thing that we came up with friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out squarespace.com slash Edgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code headgum save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell sounds easy. Anybody could do it. I have socialized. I've socialized with Alicia. Of course you have a few times. I, you know, I can't claim she's my closest friend, but I really dig her. You know what? She was there for my original. She's who I had. I had pink at when I did my original Adele performance where I got up in front of like, like, hundreds of people and played piano and sang to the best of my ability. I actually, I went up to pink because she had just been on stage at this party. People are rotating on stage performing. And when she, I said to her, I was like, hey, I go, I want to get up on stage next week. I'll tell the DJ to play Adele's hello. And then I'm just, and she was like, yeah, she was so excited because she didn't know I sang. And she was about to find out I don't. But anyway, and I have Stephanie used her phone to record that first Adele performance that I did. And in the video, you see pink doubled over laughing. Oh, that's
So, but again, she's not, not a close friend. Just somebody that I have socialized with. - And did she say I'm Alicia? Like did her friends call her Alicia or pink? - I think it's a mix. You know, I think her good friends call her Alicia. - Alicia, yeah, yeah. She just hosted the Tony Awards and she did that Chicago dance. - Oh really? - And saying, she actually did a phenomenal job. - She's so good. - Well, I was, she's so good. - She's a lesbian icon who's not a lesbian. - I know, but man is that hard to believe. - We lost her to the straights. - We will wait. - This is how it is long as it takes. (all laughing) - We'll smoke her out of her hole. (all laughing) - We'll smoke her into a hole. - Now listen, hey, I didn't say that. Now, a most awkward or she said preferably mortifying. - Well, I'll tell you one. I was in Minneapolis and I was either performing that day, the next day, or I had performed the night before. I was having the worst day. I was like emotionally in it, in a situation in my life. Somebody came up and talked to me. And I was like, hey, I think maybe asked for a picture. I was like, I was really not in a good place. And I was like, I'm sorry, I'm just, and she did not take that well. - Really? - Oh, did not take that well. - Oh my God. - I know, I was just like, I mean, it's been years, but I remember thinking like, I feel like I am allowed to tell this person, this is not good timing, you know? It was one of those, just gotten off the phone with somebody really bad place. And her response to me was brutal. And I just wanted to like, lose my mind and explain what I was going through. You know, what did she say? Was she just like, how? - It was so long ago, I can't remember. I just remember the feeling of like, whoa, she feels very entitled to a photo with me, and she doesn't, it felt like if she knew what I was going through, then she maybe would have backed off, but clearly not, 'cause I just, I, it was just a generic blanket response of like, I'm sorry, I'm having a very bad day or-- - That should be enough. - It was not. - And it was not. - It was not. - She's like, let's see the receipts. - Yeah, but I would say for the most part, people are cool and, you know, I'm always a fan of somebody that's real chill and walks by, I'm like, hey. - Yeah. - Dig what you do and it's like, oh, awesome. But this was rough. - My probably most awkward thing was a date that, and maybe I've said this, but it was a date from an app. And we'd been chatting and this girl had been like, what, yeah, what do you do for a living? And this was, this is in my late 20s in England. And she was really funny and cool, and then we met up, and then we had so much in common. We were like, crazy amounts in common. And then it was getting more specific. And then she was like, yeah, my favorite movie is Hocus Pocus. I was like, me too. And then after about an hour, maybe 90 minutes, she was like, I've seen all your stuff. And I, so she knew what to say. And that's fine, but she had actively lied. Like she'd been like, what do you do for work? Like what, oh, cool, you do comedy. And then it was like really strange to think that she, yeah, had actively lied and that she knew all that, all that stuff, that was weird. And then it felt like on the date, she kept being like, let's get a pick on the date with this, you know, in this funny and I was like, oh, you're, you want the pick, really more than all? Yeah, so that one was weird. And then the other one is that I for sure told is when I was out, did a show, then all the comics are backstage chatting. And then it was like, let's, and a bunch of people's friends. And it was like, let's all go to this dance night and a pub a few blocks away. And so we're all walking in this, this, there's this girl in the group who everyone assumes knows someone. And then we got to the bar. And then she's getting drunker and drunker. And then slowly I'm saying, she's friends with steam, right? And he's like, I don't know who that is. And then she's really drunk. And then on the dance floor, she pulls out a bunch of flowers from her sleeve, like a magician, like fake flowers and gets down on one knee and proposes to me. And then, and then I'm saying, I think we, I think we've just realized you were just at the show, right? She was like, yeah, I just, I was at the show and then I just came backstage and I was like, okay, it just feels a little weird. And then, and then I go, how old are you? 17. And she's been drinking at the bar. She's been with us in the group. And so I said, we got to get you home. You got to go home. And so, but she was like, I don't know. I live really far away. And I was going to get a hotel tonight. And now everything's closed. I was like, oh my god. So I said, okay, if you give me your address, I'll book you an Uber. We'll get you in the Uber. And then I put her in the Uber and I told the driver, like, can you call me, you know, if there's a problem, this is my number and like, just get her home. And then I kind of forgot about it. And then my phone rang like two hours later. This is like a 250 pound Uber ride to drive home. To Brighton. She was, we were in London. She drove 250 pound like money. Yeah. So, okay, I was like, I'm not tracking this. That would be wild. That would be crazy if I was like a side note. This is the height and weight of this person. Yeah. So then the Uber driver calls me and he's like, I don't know what to do. She won't get out of my car. I'm outside her house. She won't go into her house. And I'm like, okay, put me on the phone with her. And so I'm like, hi, are you at, is this your house? She's like, yeah, yeah. I was like, you gotta go in. She's like, fine, okay, fine. And then eventually goes in and I thought, God, she's going to wake up and feel really embarrassed and I'll never hear from her again. She comes to my next show, she's laughing about it. She's going, that was crazy. I said, are you going to pay me back for that Uber? That was wild. What was your plan that night? Yeah. I think her plan was to seduce me, but it was really strange. Or to get a free Uber ride back home. Maybe, but she had carried the fake flowers in her sleeve all night. Oh, man. That is wild. It was. She's listening. Maybe. She is for sure listening. She's like, that was there. She's like, that was me. You know, she's not listening to this episode is the woman that wanted a picture with me when I was so upset after a phone call, I had just gotten off of. Yeah. She'd be in a Joe Rogan fan after that. Oh, immediately. She hated my guts as soon as that happened. Which also tells you that she wasn't really, she really liked me because, you know, if somebody that I loved was having a rotten day, I feel like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I hope you're. I know. I feel like when someone says, like, do you mind if we, if I take a photo with you, they have to be prepared that the person, yeah, you're asking, do you mind can I? And then if the person's like, oh, I'm sorry, it's not a good moment, you know, people will oftentimes just walk up with their phone going to put their armor around you before they even say, could I get a picture with you or your answer? Yeah. So I don't know. I think it's probably best to check in with boundaries and stuff like that. I was trying to think of, I don't know if I had anything too crazy. I was at dinner once in like a circular booth and so my, it was like, I was kind of on the edge of the booth, but there was enough of a seat beside me. And I was just chatting and a woman just like came into the booth hot and went, it like, lay in my face and I was like, it scared me so bad because it was nowhere. And she just like jumped and like sat down to like be a part of my dinner. And I was like, uh, what, what's happening? And I'm usually, you know, very open, friendly person, I think. But that was just a lot. I was like, okay, I don't, you know, I don't want to be like, get out of here. But I'm like, you can't just like sit down at dinner with me. You can't ask your the show to me. And then the sit down and have dinner with me, uh, and my, uh, I think at my date, um, this is the long time we go, um, but well, and she clearly felt that she knew you so well from your, from your work. And then that becomes that awkwardness of, you've never seen this person in your life. And they're so excited to see you. And you're just like, uh, having dinner or having a bad day or something. Which I have that a lot during Chelsea lately days because, um, I think that's a lot.
I was on TV in some form either a sketch or on the roundtable or something like five days a week for four years, and that shows a lot of people would like go to bed watching that show, so they felt this familiarity with a lot of us in a way that other people that were on TV said that's different than what we experience. It was a very, like, "Oh, we're pals. We know each other." I think I've blocked out a lot of those interactions, but there was a lot of that kind of stuff back during those days. I had a similar thing with somebody wanting a picture, and I'm pretty open about that. I'm usually like, "Yeah, we're all taking someone's phone and just snap it." I'm happy to do it, as long as it's not some weird, crazy time, I've definitely walked through a couple airports with tears in my eyes or something, and you're like, "This is not the best time for me for a picture." I was in Toronto. It was when I was filming "Foubar" and my co-star Monica and I were in a really deep discussion, very close talking. Something was going on with production or something personal, and we were clearly in this very deep conversation where we just were locked in, and this girl comes up, and she's like, "Hey, can I take a picture?" I didn't want to be rude to Monica and stop this thing, and I always take pictures. I feel like I've said, "No, maybe three times in my entire career." I was like, "Is it okay if I just not right now because we're in the thick of this big thing?" And in hindsight, I wish I'd just done it, just take the picture, and that she just started negotiating with me. What if it was just really quick, and I was just like, "Oh!" And I was like, "We're really in the thick of this thing, and it kept dragging on." And she just didn't want to let it go, and I was like, "At that point it was just like, I think I have to just stick to what I said, but I'm really regretting it." Yeah, I'm kind of holding the line, but she won't leave, and I was just like, "Ah, and now it's become a really weird long thing." Then she leaves. Why would she want the photo if the photo ended up being you miserable? I know, because they got the thing that they needed. Yeah, and I'm trying not to be rude to my co-star who's trying to talk about something personal, and you were stuck. And then so we get back to our thing, and I feel like something kind of at the corner of my mouth. We're like on a bitch kind of by the street. Absolutely not. I looked to my right, and the girls across the street just staring death stairs at me, just standing on the side of the road. And I was just like, "Oh my god." And I was like, "I should have just sang in the picture." That is a pretty unhappy story. I thought you were going to say that she was just filming you, because I think she's giving me to an absolute death stair. And the irony is, I always take pictures. I'm like, "Very open to that." And the one time, I just see like, "Can I just have this moment with my friend?" And it turned out to be nightmare. Good Lord. Good Lord. I did this like Q&A years ago. Stephanie was with me. I think we were in Denver or something, and I don't know what it was about. Some Q&A. And during the Q&A, somebody asked about pictures and interactions with people. And I said, "Mainly, I really don't appreciate it if I'm eating." Or if I'm with my family, with my family, it's just so awkward, because I'm just like with my kids. And so anyway, after the panel, we went out to dinner, or we went out to lunch or something. And this woman comes up to me, "Wow, we're sitting there having lunch." And she said, "I just saw you on the panel." She goes, "I know you said you don't like it when people come up and interrupt your meals, but do you mind if I get a picture?" And I was like, "What is happening?" It was so bizarre. I know you said that, but whatever, it's just me. Can I do that? She could wait till you're done in the meat. And again, these are such rare things. People are super nice. People are so lovely and chill and kind. And it's always, like I said, those nice moments where you almost think you know somebody, because they're so chill, they walk by and they're like, "Hey, Tim, what's up?" And I'm like, "Hey, that kind of thing, I love it." But listen, there have been times in my life. I've been that person too. I mean, I will never forget when I was in college. This is to a random celebrity sighting. Tipper Gore, who was married to Al Gore, who was the vice president at the top. Tipper Gore? Tipper Gore was at a talk in Raleigh and I that I went to. And this was back before digital cameras. And I just said, I go up to her and I was like, "Oh, can I have a picture?" She's like, "Sure, so we take a picture." And I'm just like, "Oh, I don't think that's probably like very good." And so I was like, "This is like, can I have another one?" It didn't take it, like it didn't, the little thing hadn't slid, so it didn't take. So I went back for a third time. Oh my god. She's like, "Okay, okay." And were you just a diehard Tipper Gore? No, I was so obsessed with giving this picture. And she just was so annoyed and I shed every right to be because I mean, honestly, it could have been four pictures. I feel like it was something crazy over the top. And I still this day don't know why I needed four pictures with Tipper Gore. You merchandise flirt. I need four pictures with Tipper Gore. And God bless her. She's like, "Okay." Even she had to be like confused. Like, "Why is this person obsessed with me?" I would starstruck just a week ago at that Aspen Health Festival. I think her last name is Nurek, Dr. Jessica Nurek. Oh my god. She is so smart. This is like a niche hero of yours. I mean, she's just so smart. And I was telling her what I so appreciated when I was on social media was when she would deliver her information. When she does deliver her information. And she also speaks out a lot against like Bobby Kennedy and stuff. She doesn't have that like sarcastic slant. She just corrects everything. And is so direct with her information. And that's what I was like, I told my friend Tony. I was like, "Oh my gosh." I was like, "I love this one." I have to say hi to this doctor. But I didn't get a picture with her. But I did tell her like, "Man, am I thankful for the information you get out into the world?" She's so smart. When I was like 11 at like the height of InSync's fame, they were in a restaurant. And I think it wasn't even that I maybe I've told it. It was Chris Kirkpatrick and Lance Bass or something. And I waited till the end of their meal and then got the photo taken. Oh, Thomas is nodded. Yeah, I've told this. Yeah, yeah. It's got the photo taken with the restaurant camera. They had a camera at the restaurant because I didn't have a camera. And then I went to school the next day and I said to the restaurant, "I'm going to come back and get this photo." And then at school, I told everyone I met in InSync. Everyone thought I was lying. I was like, "Just you wait, guys." And then called the restaurant and they were like, "We have no camera here." Or like, "We don't know where it went." So there's no evidence that I have no camera. We don't have a house camera. It was just so random person's camera. Oh my gosh. Should we hear Carrie's answer? I think we should. That's what we're here for. Okay, so my answer is that yes, I have had a mortifying experience out in the wild with a fan. My son had just been born and I just wanted to get out of the house. And so we were just kind of walking around the mall with his stroller. And I had gone into urban outfitters to try on some clothes because nothing fit anymore. And someone pulled me in.
back the curtain and took a picture of me, and it was so jarring and confusing that I was like, "This, we're gonna go home. This is a weird, this is a strange place." So I was in that place while I was pushing my son to the parking garage, and this woman steps right in front of me and she goes, "Why do I know you?" And I was like, "Oh, I don't know." And I was already just flustered and ready to get home and feeling out of sorts. And I said, "I don't know. I'm on TV. I have a show called Reno 9-1-1, and she was like, "No." Yeah. That's so nice. Of course. That's, of course. But it wouldn't move. Keep standing there. So I said, "I have done other television shows and movies, and she's like, "No, I don't really watch movies. I don't really watch TV." Classic. And I was like, "I was in a band." I didn't know that. She's like, "No, I don't really, you don't listen to music, okay?" She hates music. Yeah. So now I'm stuck in this, back and forth with this woman who I don't know. She clearly doesn't know me, but for some reason it is vital that we figure out how she knows me. So now I'm like, "Well, I'm in a comedy group. Do you like comedy?" We wrote a book. No one ever bought it. Maybe you were one of the two people who bought it. She's like, "No, I don't really read." Finally she goes, "Did you work at the TCB Y-N or Hobath Delaware in 1939?" No. And I was like, "Yeah." No way. She said, "I'm your manager." She fired me. No. It was my first job I'd ever been fired. And she fired me because I had said that I was like moving there, but really I was just a summer college student and she didn't want that. So she fired me. So we went to the bottom of it. So not only was she not a fan, she was a lady who did not like me. She was really not a fan. I love you guys. I love you, dear Mary's life, to put her in her place one more time. That felt like the perfect tee up of everything that always happens where somebody, even when they're like, "Who are, how do I know you?" And you go, "Oh, I'm an actor or comedian." They're like, "No, that's it." And you know they realize that that is it, but they're too embarrassed to say it. And they'll just keep you there. They'll just keep you there. And I thought that's where she was headed, but no. It was really a nemesis from the past. Yes. I know because often you're sitting there going, "I'm having to tell them your resume." Well, I know. It's so embarrassing. I just had that in Idol Wild, where the woman was saying, "I just watched you and somebody and I said, "Maybe I was in the show in Netflix." No, and then what was it called, a wayward? What was it about? And then I had to tell her the plot. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was crazy. Oh, yeah. That was so funny. That was a great story, though. Really good. It was great. Oh, I love it. Well, I don't have much coming up, guys. You don't? I don't. I'm taking August is pretty chill for me, but check out social media and I'll post about shows I'm doing in LA and I'm working on new material and check out a feel good or a wayward on Netflix. What about you guys? I have coming up this weekend, Provincetown, Massachusetts, I'm doing a bunch of shows there. And then Greenville, South Carolina, Wilmington, North Carolina, Boise, Portland, Oregon, Austin, Canada, Tennessee, Dayton, Ohio, Louisville, Madison, Wisconsin, Durham, Oakland, Beckersfield, Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Denver, and Nashville. I'm going to be in Rochester, Calgary with Mateo Wayne, Iowa City, Des Moines, Omaha, Oklahoma City, Cincinnati, Charleston, West Virginia, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Olympia Washington, Fresno, Napa, and always check out Largo and Dynasty typewriter for my local Los Angeles shows and please go to handsomepa.com and get our beautiful handsome and pretty little lady and lady merch and subscribe, review, and spread the word. Spread the word, spread the word, spread the Lord's word, I'm excited to go to a Provincetown because that's the area that my mom referred to as a gay enclave, have you not been there before? Yeah, she brought me there for the first time for my gay awakening. That's awesome. That gay enclave. You can also have a gay awakening a day early on Hulu, we're streaming on Hulu. See how I smoothly spent that was in there, beautiful, see more. Make sure you subscribe and do all of those things. But pass along your favorite episodes and help us build this handsome community. Yeah. Until next time, keep it hot. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feamster, Tignitaro, and May Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woolett, email us at
[email protected] and follow us on social media @hansompod.
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