Ken & Triston Cradic: Postpartum Depression w/ 3 Under 3

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And the parenting vlogs, they've navigated the public eye and opened up about what it's like having their marriage picked apart online. I don't care what people think about me. So it's literally never once even hurt your feelings now. My job's not to please some million people. My job's to please my children and my wife. We talk about miscarried, whether Tristan plans to retire given Ken success and how postpartum impression has impacted the relationship all on today's episode. You guys, Ken and Tristan, welcome to Unplanned. Thank you. Thank you. We're here. This is awesome. Our fellow Arizonans. I know, we are. It's so cool. And we have a lot in common, though. We don't just live in, both are all of them in Arizona. We also both have three young boys. Which is crazy. When I found out you guys were having your third boy, I was like, "Oh my gosh, like this is so exciting." Why is it that I know so many people that have three boys? Three boys? Yeah. Maybe we just have to stick together. Because it's a special type of wild. We're only one month in, so we need to learn a lot from y'all. Oh, I mean, we're only six months in. We don't have so much of a different goal from one month. It is. I mean, when I look back to month one, I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I could never go back there." We're like getting to the cruise control space. Yeah, we are. Six months plus is like, okay, we're kind of cruising. Better. Okay, that's good to hear. Yeah. We don't have our. We don't have our up from our down. Has this been the hardest transition so far? Do you think it's easier? Oh, no. This is for sure been the hardest. Oh, the hardest? Yeah. Okay. Well, because our metal child's 15 months. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. There's so many mixed reviews on it, though. Yeah. Our metal child was just super hard, so it was hard to like. He was still a baby. Yeah. We had a next baby. So like, you just had essentially two infants and controlling, it's tough for sure, but I wouldn't change it for the world. So you think two to three was a hard. Oh, yeah. Oh, one million percent. Five hundred. I remember when we came home from the hospital. He only took a week off of work, which for all three, he's taken a week off. Which is fine. You know, when you are a stay at home mom, you're like, okay, well, it's going to be inevitable. So, you know, one week, two weeks, three weeks, like, I'm going to be on my own at some point. But when we came home from the hospital, our two toddlers were just like, you know, being toddlers. They're in a tantrum and everything was crazy and we looked at each other and I'm like, you can't go back to work. You can't leave me like, there's no way. And we also were like, what did we do? Like, it was just chaos, which I'm sure you guys have had all three crying at some point. For us, that was when we had the two back-to-back events apart, which, what's the closest age gap with your kids? 15 months. But that's their second to their third. Yeah. So, that might be the thing that determines them. Yeah. That has to be what it is. Because with us having a third right now, our third, you know, is the only one in diapers and our other three-year age gap. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's definitely. Yeah, totally. That age gap. Because like, we have 18-month age gap or 19-month age gap and then we have a 15-month age gap. Yeah. It was three under three. That's for a minute. Yeah, it was. Should we go all the way back to how you guys met? Because I feel like there's people here that haven't heard that story or maybe they have heard the story, but they don't, they, there's probably bits and pieces that they haven't heard before. We met on the cheer team at ASU and I'll let Tristan tell you guys how he made it as a cheer leader in college. A man leader. A man leader. A man leader. A man leader. Yeah, a man leader. A man leader is what it's called. So, I'm from Yuma. Born and raised in Yuma. No, that's like the farming area. It's farming area. It's farming area, yeah. You're not farming. You're not farming? Yeah, let us capital of the world. Yeah, it came from Yuma, graduated high school and I wanted to leave super bad. Supposed to go to like, U of A my whole life, and then ASU just presented better scholarship opportunities. Went to ASU for a year, none of my friends went to ASU, so I decided to transfer back to U of A. Anyway, long story short, somebody asked me to join the cheer team, ASU right before I was about to leave, decided to try out for cheer team. I played football, ran track, did everything all throughout high school and asked me to do cheer team. I was like, sure, she came in my sophomore year, met her. I was, we'll go into that. I was dating somebody else on the team. What? Always happens at the end. Yeah, I know. I'm not getting into all that. Anyway. But then you threw her in the air and you're like, so she was, she was a dancer. She wasn't a cheerleader. So like ASU has like, like an umbrella, so it's like the spirit squad and the spirit squad has like the cheer team and then the dance team. Okay. I was on the dance team. He was on the cheer team. His previous relationship was on the cheer team, but we all practiced like together in the same space. So that's like how we met was through that, like, you know, we were on the same team but not directly, like, he wasn't throwing me in the air. I don't, I don't go in the air. I'm gonna stay on the ground. Yeah. But no, we met through there, which is like, I feel like we had different intentions in the beginning. I went into college, like I will find my husband in college. Really? Oh, yeah. I thought I was gonna find my husband in high school. Didn't find my husband in high school. I've just like always wanted to be like a wife and a mom, so I was searching for that. And then he was just getting out of a relationship and, you know, he was just like a guy in college. But I swore it was like, love it first sight, which is so cheesy to say. But when we had our first conversation, I was like, oh my gosh, I think I'm gonna marry this guy. Holy was not thinking that at all. I was just, you know, like the new girl on the team. But yeah, I mean, we literally met my freshman year and then we got engaged the month after I graduated college. Holy cow. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm just gonna get on the two years? Yeah. Did you break up with this girl to then start dating her? Did she break up with you? Or how did that? So I broke up with her. We didn't. This summer before. Yeah, this summer before I actually even joined the team. We probably started dating like, I don't know how much longer later. Like six months. Yeah, sixish months. Yeah. I didn't really, I wasn't looking for a relationship. I just got out of one and I was like, I was like, she was looking for a relationship. I was like, she's here. I'm waiting. I'm looking for this. Anyway, she was like, I guess, pushing the issue pretty hard and I was like, I don't want to do this. Like, I just got out of a relationship. I just want a friend. Yeah. She stuck around. We just, we had like a little friend group and we just hung out on literally everything. We were friends first. Which I think is really important. Yeah. To be friends before. For a solid six. Yeah. Six months, yeah. Six days. Yeah. Six days of friendship. Yeah. She finally like was like, all right, he doesn't want to date. Yeah. I just had to play hard to get for like a little bit. Yeah. You played hard to get. Yeah. And then she started going in the direction of elsewhere and I was like, hold up here. Yeah. And then I started pursuing her. Yeah. So it works. The hard to get method really does work. Apparently it does. Yeah. Yeah. What did she tell you that that was the method she used to get your attention? I think you caught on too. Yeah. I kind of feel like I caught on. I just didn't want to lose my chance. Yeah. He was never losing it. I was just like playing hard to get, but I was definitely in it for. I knew he was going to be my boyfriend and my husband. Yeah. So it's pretty competitive to do dance at the college level. Did you guys, either one of you ever have like aspirations to take it beyond college, like professionally? No, my senior year was COVID, like my senior year of college was COVID. Okay. Same. Oh, really? When did you graduate high school? When did I graduate? Oh, wait. Same. Okay. Yeah. Wait, so how old are you guys? I'm 29. Yeah. And I'm 27. And I'm 28 and Abby's 27. Oh, cute. Look at us. We're all like the same age as you. Really? Yeah. So yeah, my senior year of college was COVID. So it was kind of like an easy transition from like being a cheerleader in college to like, okay, now I kind of need to figure out like what I'm going to do post college because that COVID year, I think the football team still played and I think sports still went on, but like. Yeah. Just empty stadiums. Yeah. Yeah. There was no, like we were kind of like, you know, the first to go, which was fine, honestly, because it just gave me like time to be like, okay, what do I want to do with the rest of my life? Because my identity in college was being a college cheerleader. And so then very quickly, I had to be like, okay, wait, who am I outside of being a college cheerleader? But no, I never really wanted to pursue it outside of college. Like I said, I just wanted to be a wife and a mom. So I was like, I did my time and you know, when you get to that level of being a collegiate cheerleader dancer, you had a lot of, you know, experience prior to that, I danced my whole life. So I was ready to be done for sure. End of retirement. Yes. Okay. Does that make you guys feel old that it's been like more high school reunion is coming up and I'm like, yeah, I already went to mine. That's crazy. Yeah, I went to his last year. That's crazy. It was weird. Yeah. I don't know if my high school is having one, but I need to like look it up if they are. Yeah, how do you know if your high school is having a high school reunion? I was in student council, so we're like part of like the planning process of it. Okay. That's kind of the only way I need it. I think you just stay connected with people who were in high school with you and then maybe like word gets out. You look also a lot smaller. Yeah. Nice. I probably should reach out to someone from my high school. I don't like don't keep it. Yeah. You guys were born and raised out here. No. Where are you guys from? I'm from Missouri. Oh gosh. Okay. Where are the people that move to where's a problem? Yeah, as long as you're not the slow drivers No, the drivers here are crazy. Yeah, I think drivers here are crazy Yeah, because you guys are both native errors. Yeah, we're right. Yeah, they're not neat like you're not Yeah, I'm part of the crazy driver. Yeah, I am part of the crazy driver. Yes, but that's okay. I did get yelled at today Do you drive really slow? He drives really slow? No, I hold that for some. Oh, I don't know Sorry, I didn't see plus night I'm gonna be thinking about that tonight when we're up feeding the lady also talk to me about like the party scene at ASU because I've heard That's like a party school where you guys the partners Yeah, we definitely went through a phase I mean neither of us were in like fraternity sorority, so that's a totally different experience that kind of partying But so we like spent a lot of time with like athletics like you know different teams like it's all party for sure But we definitely yeah went through a phase of for sure partying and then like I said 2020 was COVID So it kind of just like put a lot into perspective like okay, we're not partying anymore We got to figure out what we're gonna do for our big girl job He was already graduated and like you know moving on with his life So kind of took me down, but I turned 21 during COVID so that was like a huge bummer Because I was like looked forward my entire like college time to like getting to go out go to the clubs and like they just didn't Exist when I turned 21. What did you do on your 25th birthday? I got to go alcohol drinks, didn't we? We got what yeah, oh yeah, we did there was like yeah Mill Avenue, which is like where tempi and ASU is they were serving like alcohol to go But they would just like tape it on the side so we went and did that my friends threw me a little party But it's really lame was like you know anti-climatic, but it's alright like I could care less now Are you guys pretty close with that college group or is everybody kind of yeah? We actually have a wedding to go to this weekend for one of my fun Yeah, it was fun cuz we like grew up like we like We're in the same friend group because we were on the team together So like all of my friends became his friends and vice versa feel like you are less in touch with friends from college But yeah, I mean it's just part of once you have kids get married and other people don't have kids and get married It's just like you have completely separate lives You also to have a lot less time in your life. Yeah, it's like when you have free time You want to either spend it with your wife or your kids at somebody from college nothing against it But you want to spend your free time with your family. Yeah. Okay. I got to know how did you propose? What's the story of how you? Kind of a crazy Unraveling events we propose. Yeah, I propose in Coronado Coronado. Yeah, that's for yeah, the movie star Coronado. There's like a movie about hotel Yeah, the hotel no what is it called Marilyn Monroe tell do she's on that movie, right? I think it has history knowledge. I don't know There's a lot of history in the little town. Oh, yeah, it's a super cool town. I bet he's right Honestly, but I like cool. I think you're probably right. Okay, sure That's where it's like a super I don't remember. Yeah, it's just a famous hotel. We never been there. That's where I propose though in front of it Her grandma has a house in Coronado, so thankfully that helped. But anyway, I got an Airbnb for all me and her friends Because she wanted her friends to be there along with some of my friends Oh, so you knew it was happening. No, I didn't he just knew that like if you were to propose like this is like what I like She wanted that when we were dating we were like oh like oh fun set engagement How would you want that to look? I'm like well? I would want my family to be there and my friends to be there to like Celebrate with us afterwards like he had known that that was something that I wanted but yeah So I set up the whole thing. We got an Airbnb in like this apartment area We got there and I you know how when you get an Airbnb you have like the long terms and conditions Nobody reads them. I didn't read it properly I guess nobody reads anyway, so I go to the front desk. I'm like hey, I'm here to stay in my Airbnb I don't know where to park. It says that I can park in the garage But I can't get in the garage. It's the code and the lady was like you're here for an Airbnb And I was like yes, and she was like what's the address? I was like oh so anyway I'm like this is why I'm staying at the terms and conditions at the bottom literally says do not go to the front desk And that's where I went That Airbnb got shut down. Yeah, so that late the lady calls me and just starts cussing me out Oh the owner the owner of the air just starts ripping me a new one. I finally had to sign up on the lady Yeah, so I was like crap like this is proposal week and I don't know what to do So I had to call her dad and be like hey, dude. Can I stay at grandma's Susan's house? So he like calls her because they were supposed to stay at grandma's Susan's house hiding there To show up for proposal day so they had to all get a hotel and I'm like trying to coordinate all this without her knowing I'm just like oh that's all coordinated They came we like walk down to the beach did like a scavenger hunt she got X things and then the what once she put a blindfold on Then obviously like she knew what was happening. Yeah, um walked her down to the beach and proposed and I was so nervous I put the ring upside down. Yeah, he opened it upside down the box Proposed and yeah, and the ring went missing. Yeah In the sand I feel like that happens that would be I'm seeing the cherry on top the weekend again. How long did it take you to realize you were getting proposed to? Well, I kind of like how to feeling a little bit I really thought that he was surprising with the dog So he like messaged like he like texted me like a couple months before was like hey I'm planning this like trip to take all of your friends because I was graduating that next weekend Okay, so yeah, it's like a graduation gift and I was like oh he's gonna get me a friendship I really wanted a French bulldog like so bad like all leading up to that And so I thought for sure like we were going to meet the breeder in corn auto and that's where the dog was gonna be And obviously it was not a dog But so like that was kind of what was going through my mind the whole time that we were getting a dog And I was like oh the scavenger hunt is leading to the dog and then once he put the blindfold on and I said on the sand And then this is a bit dramatic. Yeah, and then like this song that we had love starting playing at the end of the beach The song that we love so to play and I was like oh he's proposing to me and then I was like yeah, so it was great It was perfect, but had you guys talked about getting married or was it just like a dog conversation that had happened so far No, wait for sure talked about I think I probably rushed Did a little bit faster than maybe because she wanted to like wait A little bit until out of college, but I had she was in college while I was graduated So like I was ready to move on settle down start having kids start getting to it And I I proposed right of literally my ashtie graduate I said I just need to be graduated from college in order for us to like be engaged literally the week later Yeah, why not like get married while you're in college That's what I like the cool kids are doing. Oh, yeah, no that honestly We were the first to get married and I think my friends now are starting to get married But like we have three kids and they're like yeah, you guys you know dove in head Yeah, yeah, I think we were married for three months before we got pregnant with our first baby. Oh, no Yeah, was that always the plan just start having babies right away? No, no We were like let's wait like a year year and a half before we start having babies And then I was in a job transition like when we had first gotten married so I was kind of like Again, it went back to like identity crisis thing like all in college I was a cheerleader and so that's what I knew and then I was a wedding planner after college And so I gave like that was like everything consumed my life Yeah, I can see you being a great wedding planner. Really? Okay. Yeah, I feel like when I think about I think about people like Addy Yeah, organized on top of it. Yeah, we would be terrible wedding planners Anyways, so that was like my whole identity and then I started to travel a ton for weddings and I was like going to Cabo which like sounds really fun and it was really fun But when you're traveling every single weekend. He was working Monday through Saturday I'm like wait, but we just got married like our marriage is gonna like fail if we never have time to spend with each other We are both so career focused I'm like, okay, I need to I need to change for my career and so I was in a career change And I was kind of bored and I was like, well, you know Maybe we could like try to have a baby and we thought maybe it would take you know You have no idea how long it's gonna take right have a baby you could try for a year. You could try for one month One month and it's been one month Yeah, yeah, and then we got pregnant with our first baby That's so yeah, that was fast three months in probably we're not expecting for that to happen No, no, but I mean it was great. I mean obviously we're here now three three later It's so funny as you like you look back on your first kid and you think you're in like the thick of it Yeah, so hard. Yeah, then you have the perspective of having three kids and you're like wow I wish I would have the same mindset then that I have now Yeah, just grow and grow working as a wedding planner. Did you guys have a really cool wedding? Um, I mean, I think that I think we had a cool wedding and we got married at night actually So our ceremony was at like seven thirty p.m. Oh, and so it was like pitch black So why did you do photos at night? It was like flash photography. No way at night I went to I planned a wedding on near's Eve like so we got married in April and I planned a wedding on near's Eve And it was that night because obviously like they needed to stay till 12 to like celebrate it because this was COVID year So you couldn't have everybody together. It was when we get my 2022 2022 But because they were having a New Year's Eve wedding they like wanted to like celebrate at night So like okay, the ceremony has to be way later in the day because usually wedding ceremonies are at like four p.m So like yeah to keep guests, you know rallied and hyped until 12 when it started up for So I planned this wedding on New Year's Eve It was like pitch black during the ceremony and it was so like romantic and different Yeah, and because I was a wedding planner I had seen every wedding in the book, you know And it was such a different feeling so I texted him that night and I was like oh my gosh We need to get married in the evening. He was like no way. Why would we do that like what about our photos? What about our like grandparents who are old, you know like that's you know, we got a way a lot of options here, but I loved it and I was like, no, we were doing this. And so we did. We got married at night. Honestly, it was so fun. That's so cool. And because we were, like, kind of fresh out of college and we had similar friend groups in college, it was that we were the first to get married. It was just so much fun because, like, it was most of our college friends' first weddings that they've ever been to. So we had, like, 13 bridesmaids and 13 groomsmen. Two men. Wow. It was a party. That sounds like a blast. Yeah. It was so fun. That's cool. Oh, I wish, honestly, fireworks are really expensive. To do, like, a 32nd fireworks show, it's like thousands of dollars. They're kidding me, because we spent, like, 300 bucks on fireworks and we had some epic fireworks that are wedding. Well, it's because it was also the -- It was two days after the fourth -- Two days after the fourth of July. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. So this count, fireworks. Yeah. And the place that we got married, they do fireworks. And also, it was a small town. Yeah. Well, that's, I think, I think -- They could have charged a lot more for us. Yeah. But I think there was a good, you know, we got a good value just because it was a small town. Everyone knows it, everybody. Yeah. No, we got married. And my parents backyards, like, to do it legally, you know, you have to, like, you know, all of that. Because bad things can happen with fireworks. Sparklers, though. Yeah. Sparklers. No, we didn't do a sparkler exit. What? We didn't have sparklers. Because everybody -- I think people started leaving at, like, 3 a.m., you know, because we -- The wedding started so late. So it was like -- Yeah. People just trickled out. Yeah. We slept at my parents house. Oh, yeah. I was -- nothing was happening. I had way too much fun that night. We just went to bed. We just went to bed. We were, like, 9 o'clock. We were headed out. We were on our way. Yeah. That's awesome. Well, that sounds like a really fun wedding. It was. It was. So it sounds like starting a family was, like, while it happened a little earlier than you had maybe anticipated, it was always like a high priority for both of you guys. And I heard that you come from a big family. Six kids, yeah. Six kids. All boys. Boys, three and three. Three and three. But all of your apart. Three girls, one boy. Three girls -- all a year apart. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the youngest. So my oldest brother is 36. And then I'm 29. Holy cow. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. She homeschooled too. Yeah. We're homeschooled. I, like, look back at it. I'm, like, how? How? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how my mother said it. Literally, I was doing ballet. My older brother was doing football. He would have to impress his girlfriend. anger because you're doing so much and they don't understand your role and you don't understand their role and so we just really weren't on the same team with our first baby and then you know you get to a breaking point where you're like oh my gosh like we need to prioritize us because if you know like you said if we're not on the same page like we can't be we can't parent together I made a mistake of doing a competition first child too yeah for like bodybuilding slash physique you did a bodybuilding competition and it was just that was a terrible idea because I didn't peak I had like I had committed to it prior to us even being married committed to it prior to having a kid so I was already like so far into training that we agreed that I should finish it and not quit what little did we know they what it entailed but how much time commitment was that bodybuilding probably I mean it took me almost a whole year year and a half but you're working on what like six years I was working it it was legit I'd wake up at 3 30 in the morning I'd go to the gym come home I would eat and I would go to the gym again oh my god I get home at like 8 30 get ready for work I'd leave I'd come home and then we'd go to bed pretty much immediately like when you got when workers down you just come home with the bed not no I would try to I would help I would help with the kid going with the kids going to or just the kid camp going to bed but like once you get to like your later phase of competing I guess like the last two months your brain is just shot like you're on minimal calories you're just slow dude you're not there it always lights on no one's home yeah you're legit and just like almost like Lala land you can't think straight you can't do anything physically you're dizzy and yeah well did you win the competition I did win the competition no we have to go back a little bit though okay go that so he was training for this competition so my entire pregnancy we did not eat a meal together for almost a full year first kid this is first kid yeah so like my entire pregnancy we hadn't eaten a meal together for a full year because he has a very very strict diet obviously when you're pregnant you want to eat and cheetos eat whatever you want and then I'm a postpartum and he's in the best physical shape of his entire life now talk about a riff yeah Matt's like trying to get in such good shape right now I'm like you're like not now yeah yeah so he's in the best physical shape of his life he's like in front of the mirror like working on his poses I'm like you know I just had a baby my first baby so I'm having such a crisis in my own brain about how I look and then he'd like wake up at like he said 3 a.m. and he his first meal the day was rice and tilapia so I would wake up I'm nursing our son like at 3 a.m. I just smell tilapia and rice and I'm like that sounds like a fight yeah yeah right yeah that's smells like yes exactly exactly so like and like he said he was really lights on no one's home which is fine I was so it it took a lot in me to be like okay I committed to supporting you in this I do support you I have to like put myself aside and this was a dream of his it was a bucket list it was like you know something that he'd want to do his whole life very very bad timing like he said we got pregnant after he committed to it so it was kind of one of those things where it's like okay you know we got to kind of just see it through but yeah our baby was two months old at show day so he was at like the peak of his diet and exercise and I'm like please whatever you do just don't see anything about having to like microwave tilapia while I'm like like that might be like like the end for me but but yeah no he he won the show and then he was hospitalized for 10 days afterwards with Rob Dome out right I'm a butcher how you say it you said it wrapped up my analysis yeah something like that but what the heck is wrapped up my analysis sounds serious people are probably gonna listen to this and think I just grab it horribly but it's like essentially like a I guess just like a pro toxic protein that gets released into your body and essentially just like starts eating away your muscles that's terrifying it's like it's more common in like firefighters stuff like that but it literally just like attacked my whole body we're in here it was in Houston I don't have you ever heard of Alphalete like Christian goose yeah yeah so it's his show so we're in Houston and I had like started getting cramps and I was like okay whoop do you do I'm probably just cramping from like the show and then the cramps got worse I just was trying to drink as much water I was eating pickles I was doing everything I could and then we got home that night and it was like 11 o'clock or midnight and I was like I think I need to go to the hospital because I was like it was like I was wanting to cry I was hurting so bad anyway went to the hospital we like went into triage and the lady comes in and she was like yeah you have wrapped up my analysis and I was like what is that like do I need a prescription yeah so like good night immediately and it like starts talking about like dialysis and like kidney failure and I was like oh my gosh we ended up being in hospital for they just plugged me into an IV and we're giving me a they were checking my CK level CK it's a lot of terms we don't really know but it was serious yeah yeah yeah I was in hospital for ten days ten days because of the bodybuilding it's because yeah I they so I just was on if I were to do I want to do it again not obviously in this it is so much fun really it's like it's like a place that like mentally you have to like I like think about it now and I'm just trying to do like a regular routine I'm like how the heck did I do that can you wake up at seven anymore like if I but yeah I literally was in the hospital and we're like what the heck is happening yeah but yeah I like went into the hospital weighing like a hundred and seventy four pounds from show day I left the hospital weighing 230 because of IVs they literally like ten days I but that's how much you cut like you cut that much body fat that much whatever yeah and you were 230 because they were just trying to get the nutrients to your basically all they do it just plug you with IVs and just keep you're just literally have IVs pumping you with you and my I I could I wish I could show you the pictures but like you see me on show day and cut for show day and after the hospital I'm like a balloon a huge yeah like like one seven no like my face was like imploded my legs were all swollen I had like a gut and it was nuts but yeah it was like all that work and I was like all right right back yeah yeah yeah if you want you get any money for waiting or you get like an invitation to go to like nationals and compete for your pro card do you want to do with that my wife was like no shit yeah absolutely but yeah did you stay in the hospital with the baby I did well know our son thankfully stayed with my parents and he like came and visited twice maybe yeah yeah it was really hard because I was really his show itself was really hard for me to be in postpartum and you know all the things and then to like when it was like this high okay it was all worth it like we did it he won you know and then it was like to go to the hospital afterwards it was like oh my gosh like we thought this was over like I was so excited to have our life back and like have him back and then yeah but honestly it was like a really it really taught me like how grateful I am for our health because that time that we're in the hospital was so depressing I'm like I can't believe that people spend way more than 10 days in the hospital so yeah it was definitely not the like result we wanted in the end but it taught us a lot you know we know now what to do if he ever does it again but yeah it was hard or baby thankfully my parents just jumped up and took care of our baby for those those 10 days but yeah he he came and visited a few times at that point where you creating videos on TikTok were you posting on social media or was I had just signed with my management probably like I want to say a month before that so it wasn't something where I I mean I was sharing what was going on on Instagram but I wasn't really like working fully yet so you didn't just like it's time I management overnight like I'm guessing posting consistently yeah I have been posting consistently I mean honestly I say all the time like my management really took a chance on me like they saw potential in me when I feel like I didn't see potential in myself at all I honestly was really just posting online because I felt so alone in motherhood just like I called my mom one of the like when I said I think three weeks postpartum I was like I think I'm gonna get a job at like the local gym I just need like an outlet outside of being a mom I'm like feeling so lost in motherhood he was working six days a week at the time so I was just feeling so lonely and so I started posting yeah on social media just as like an outlet to relate to other moms and something to do with like my free time you know they're not being like three times a day and like I said he was working so much so yeah I just filled my time with that and then yeah I guess by management like I said saw potential in me and we signed and then here we are went from there is that the whole the whole like Talapean rice at 3 a.m. when you're resting the baby is that part of why you had some people online that did it like your husband or like I would say that was probably even prior to yeah I don't think I ever shared his bodybuilding okay I wasn't really sharing at that time like our day today like I do not so like camp club club foot journey yeah so our son was diagnosed with club feet at my 20 economy scan and so I started sharing that journey and I feel like that's it really kick started like my social media journey was got it yeah thank you to Noble for sponsoring this portion of today's episode when we go to an airport with our children our entire family what I wouldn't do for an extra set of hands but that's essentially what Noble suitcase offers us because they have thought of everything when designing this first of They built a flip-out cup holder right into the luggage. If your phone is running out of battery, there's a built-in charging port into the suitcase, and there's a front laptop pocket that makes TSA a breeze. I've gotten way more patented out of that to make it. That's a separate issue, and they also have 360-degree wheels. So Glides next to you instead of dragging behind you like an anchor. And unlike most bags, Noble has no zipper at all. It locks shut with a latch system that can't be pride-opened. Noble is the number one top-rated luggage on trust pilot. Every suitcase comes with 100-day money back guarantee, free three-day express shipping. To be mentioned, it has a lifetime warranty. It's the last suitcase you'll ever need to buy. Upgrade to luggage that looks better last longer and travels smarter. Head to NobleTravel.com for up to 46% off your entire order. That's n-o-b-l-travel.com for up to 46% off. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. I saw a clip, like it popped up for me, you went on a podcast recently, and we're talking about how, yeah, there's some people that just were, you know, not being very nice to your man, and I just, I found it so interesting because like, I mean, I want to hear what you have to say about this, Tristan, because it's cool that, you know, this is your first podcast where I order to have you. But I feel like there's not a whole lot of social media husbands that like, people love. No, yeah, it's so true. I really don't feel like men are loved online. And he is not the center of my content. He doesn't want to be the center of my content. And so you don't see him a lot in what I post in my day-to-day. So what I was kind of describing on that podcast was about mainly like, because you're not seeing him, I feel like people think that he's really like absentee as a dad. Whereas like, if you're seeing me clean the house, it doesn't mean that he's just like, sitting on his hands in the bedroom. He's like, putting our kids to bed. And so I feel like a lot of times he is misunderstood online because I share my struggles in motherhood, in life in general, and it's always like, well, where's your husband? And it's like, it's not that he's not there for me. He's just not, you know, he's doing other things. He's 1000%. Yeah, leading our house in other ways. Yes, but people like to fill in gaps. Yeah. How is that like for you like with your wife like choosing a public career that also like that obviously has implications for you as her husband? I don't know how I'm trying to put this in like a nice way. I genuinely just don't like, I don't care what people think about me. That's dope. Yeah, I just like that's those people don't matter to me. There's a lot of people she could post something online whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, people are still going to have bad things to say about me. That's just the nature of social media. You have her doing this like when she first started was just like a little fun thing. She did it as like a hobby. Then she like got her first, I remember she got her first paycheck from something and I was like, oh, cool, like that's cool. Then she turned it into a full-blown career. You're like, keep doing this. Yeah, I was like, cool, like, yeah, keep doing this. But as far as what people say, like, I genuinely just, I don't care. I'm not, she's, this is like her career. So maybe she's more censored in certain areas. But like, maybe that's why I'm not online. I'm not censored. I'll tell you how I feel. I just, that's not. So it's literally never, never once even like hurt your feelings. No, not even a little bit. No, you could say whatever you want about me honestly online. I just like, I know, I know she loves me and my family loves me. I know at the end of the day that I mean, I think I'm a good husband. I'm a good father. I work. I don't work like they think I work. They think I work seven days a week and I'm literally never home. I literally work four days a week. Then I'm home three days of the week with the family. But I do read them. I read the stuff that people say and I do fire back sometimes. Sometimes she's like, my burner account. I don't really have social media, but like when I do get on some, I get, I literally have TikTok to like watch her stuff. Because like, if that's really sweet, if I don't, because her TikToks are literally like recapture the day of when I was at work. So I get to go watch her video and I literally get to watch my whole kids day without like I guess talking about it. But like I get to see it all. I get to see what they're doing. That's why I have TikTok to watch her stuff. But like obviously some people you do them scroll at night time, all like go in the comments and read her comments and like, I see the stuff people say. I always delete his comments. I think they're good come back. So I just like then I see that she'll delete my comments. I'm like, you suck her. Like screw that person. Well, text me and be like, wait, where'd my comment go? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know where it went. It must have just went to like the reviewed and filtered. He's like, you're deleting them. I'm like, yeah, I'm deleting them. It's gonna cause me more stress. Like just leave it alone, please. But like he is so unfiltered, which was like not to say why I was like a little bit nervous for him to come to this. But like it is such a great quality of his. Like he will say how it is and he will tell anybody how it is. Whereas I'm a little bit more reserved in that way. And my job is not to please a million people. My job is to please my children and my wife. Yeah, so he will comment on people's things. But yeah, I don't know. But the username is not your name. Sometimes it's your public username. And then I'm like, oh my gosh, no, delete it. It was so I used to have like a fitness account when I wanted to do bodybuilding. So it's that account. But like that's the only one I have. Is it just you and like a like a little speedo? Literally, yeah, it's everything she ever dreamed of. But yeah, no, I fire back for sure. But as far as what people say, I'm sure you guys, what are they saying? What are they saying? I'm curious. He's not like really present in our family that all he cares about is working. And I, you know, I've talked a lot about postpartum depression on my page. And so people kind of want to like pin that on him. Like, oh, you like, where's your husband and all of this? Whereas like, if you've ever gone through postpartum depression, you know, it's not something that he's going to be able to fix overnight. And it's not something that I can fix overnight either. And like I had said previously, you're not seeing him be that like comfort source for me because I'm not sharing it. But that's because I keep what we have very like safe between us. And I don't share it. I think that's also like, please some of my preferences too. Yeah. Because I like, I mean, I like some of our life to be private. Like, I don't want certain stuff online, which she'd probably be more open to that. But I we've had to navigate that a lot in the last three years. We've shared a lot or I've shared a lot less just to again, protect like that. So yeah, which is really wise. Yeah. Honestly. So that's like totally a learning curve. Totally done the same thing. Yeah. I think in the beginning, you share everything because you're so excited. So fun to share your life. And then you realize as you grow at hate grows and then you kind of like pull back a little bit and just you won't want to keep what you have outside of, you know, social media a little bit more private. And honestly, like he has helped me so much with the hate and realizing that like if I lock my phone, none of this exists. Like 1000. It all goes away. And all that really matters is how my kids feel, how he feels and how I truly feel like inside. And so, again, that has been growth too because I used to let that consume me. And there's definitely days that it still does. But I remember, okay, if I turn this off, this doesn't exist. You know, what, what really matters is what's in front of me. Like, yeah, tell me what something that you used to would have shared about. And then now you're like, I don't care about that anymore. I think a lot of like personal details about our kids. Like he said, I shared a lot about our son's club foot journey in the beginning. And I was, that was so fun to share his journey because so many people online, I didn't know there was a whole community of people who were diagnosed with club V who, you know, have recovered from having club V. And so I got to meet so many people online and build this community of moms who are currently receiving their diagnosis or their child has gone through this. But now I don't really share a lot about that. So just a lot of things about our kids. And then just, again, just like marital things and are like families, both of our families, these to share a lot about our other, you know, like his parents, my parents, our siblings. And I don't really share anybody anymore because I don't want to subject anybody else to any kind of hate or criticism. I'm choosing to put my life online, you know, they're not so I kind of have found that boundary as well. That's good. Yeah, it's taken time though, you know, like it takes a few comments to be like, okay, maybe we should pull back a little bit. I admire your like vulnerability and sharing about postpartum. And I think you've shared that your experience postpartum has been pretty similar with all three. Kind of just give a little synopsis for people that don't know your journey about postpartum, like what that looks like for you. Did you receive like a diagnosis or was it just like something that you kind of piece together? Like these are the symptoms I'm experiencing. This is probably what this is. Yeah. So with our first baby, obviously as a first time mom, my mom had told me prior to having my first baby that she had experienced postpartum depression with me. And so there was like a little bit of my brain that was like, okay, like this is something that could happen, but you don't know what postpartum depression looks like until you are living it. I feel like even if you are somebody, I cry on literally every single fuck I'll cry with you. It's okay. Even if you are somebody who is postpartum, but you have an experience postpartum. postpartum depression. It's really hard to understand what that feels like or what that even looks like. And so when we had our first baby, I was really not okay mentally. And I've never been somebody who struggled with any kind of mental health my entire life. So I knew that something was definitely wrong. And at the six week visit, you know, you do that little postpartum depression screening. And it kind of seems silly to be like not doing well most of the time, some of the time, you know, whatever. It kind of just feels like this silly thing that you're just like checking through and whatever. And so at the six week postpartum visit, I was doing totally fine. And then it wasn't until around like four to five months that I had realized I really wasn't okay. And it's like, it feels embarrassing to say, but like I wanted my old life back. I didn't want to be a mom anymore. I wanted to just like what my current life, I wanted to run away from it. I didn't want my husband, I didn't want my baby. I just wanted to like make it all disappear. And so that's when I knew like, okay, I'm really not okay because like this isn't me with all three of them. So with my second baby and my third baby, it was something that I kind of just recognized. I knew like, you know, what my triggers were and I knew what postpartum depression looked like. So when I had started to feel those feelings again, I was like, okay, this is what this is. I've experienced this before. I know I can come out of it. I know there's a lie at the end of the tunnel. So it made it way more manageable. Second and third time, but I still experienced those those feelings, those dark thoughts, you know, just feeling really like not myself. I feel like a stranger in my own head every single day and just feeling like flight or flight. I would wake up every day and I'm like, okay, am I fighting today or am I flying today? And a lot of the times when you're in that thick of postpartum depression, you are fighting every day just to like even make it through the day, mentally. And you're trying to like talk yourself off of this ledge while you also have three, you know, humans who are depending on you to like get them through the day. So yeah, postpartum depression has been something that, you know, I don't wish upon anybody. I know so many women experienced it. So sharing it has really been helpful for my own journey to know that, you know, I'm not alone. There's so many other women who experienced this. But yeah, I feel like that's that was like kind of like short term around about of postpartum depression. But I think it's so cool about that is like first of all, kudos to your mom for like saying to you like, this is something before you have a baby like this something to look out for and to know about. And I experienced it too. I think there's so much power in that like woman to woman, but especially mom to daughter. Like I remember my own mom even saying like she had like talking about having baby blues like and she was like, even though it was everything I ever wanted. Like it was so weird. And she even like said like a certain time of day would always hit more and like. So then when I experienced like the similar feelings in baby blues, I was like, mom, like yeah, this is happening. And so it's like she'd already opened that door for me. She already that'd been like vulnerable. So then I could also like share in like that vulnerability. And so I think it's really cool that you were like an online motherly figure per se or people that maybe their moms didn't have that conversation with them or maybe they didn't experience and didn't know. I think that's really, really powerful and like good for you for sharing in that. What would you say like your timeline looked like for like postpartum depression? So I had stopped breastfeeding all three of our babies around that like four to five month mark. Like three to six months has always been like the tip for me postpartum. Like stopping breastfeeding? Yes. Yeah, because you know your hormones go crazy after you stop breastfeeding. And so that has always been like, I remember with our third baby, I was like, okay, I'm starting to like feel like I thought I was making it out like, you know, it's it's going to be okay. And then around that like three to six month range. I was like, okay, these feelings feel very familiar. But you know, it is so common. There is I feel like with my first baby, I felt so much shame and how I felt and how I was thinking. And like you said, it is everything that you've ever wanted. But sometimes you can't like shove down how you're feeling because it's something that's uncontrollable. Right. Being like mental health, being depressed, it's something that you can't control. You just have to like live in it and work through it. But with my first baby, I did feel so much shame and embarrassment and feeling like, oh my gosh, just everything I've ever wanted. I prayed for him. I wanted to be a mom so bad. And now I want it to all go away. I want my old life back. You know, it sounds horrible to say, but I didn't want him. I didn't want my husband. I wanted to just like go away. Like I wanted everything to go away. I wanted to sleep for however long I could sleep. And yeah, I mean, understanding that that was postpartum depression helped. And you know, I got on a side of TikTok. That was like all these other moms were feeling that same way. And so I'm like, okay, I'm not alone in this. And then with two and three, I knew, okay, we're in this season. He understood way more with baby two and three. You know, because he's trying to navigate two. You know, I'm like, I'm not myself. And so I'm sure as a husband, it's hard to navigate like, okay, how can I be there for my wife? How can I show up for her in this season? And like he said, with our first baby was our first time experiencing that as my first time, his first time. And so it was definitely a transition. You know, when you have the first baby, your life flips upside down. And so yeah, I'm curious. Tristan, what was that postpartum phase like for you? I'm sure it was not easy seeing your wife go go through all of that. I guess I don't really know how to explain it as much. It was definitely difficult for sure just to like watch somebody that obviously you love so much and care so much about and just to see if not in like an okay space. Obviously, as a husband, like, I'm just very logical and straightforward in my idea is to fix or come up with a resolution, but like there's not really a resolution to it. It's more so just leaning more on just like praying and communicating and talking and it is. It's just it's hard overall for everybody. I think what I did wrong initially on like our first child. It's even harder in our second and third children, but first child like I just was like, okay, like let's come up with a resolution. Like let's fix it. Like why aren't we fixing it? Why aren't we fixing it? It's like why can't we come up with something but like it just was what I needed to do is just sit and like listen to her. Listen and being open ear and just get through it with her together. Obviously, you just like you have good days. You have bad days. I'd come home from work. Maybe I had a bad day at work and she had a bad day mentally and it just it doesn't doesn't turn out great. But I just think overall it's like husband you just have to really learn how to be patient and just be listening ear and just be more loving versus I feel like most men are here to want to try to like come up with a resolution to fix what's going on. That's just how that's how my brain operates. That's not how women's brain, not all of them, but in her eyes like it's just that's not how operate and I it took me a long time to learn that and it's hard. It's just hard. There's no way I guess there's no sugar coating it at all. But you're so smiley. I've like like even talking about this like your smile is coming out. He's so positive. He is like such a positive person like our world could be crashing down around us and he's like finding the good in it, which is so helpful, which has been so helpful for me in this season, is seeing the positive through it all like telling me like we're going to make it through. We're going to get through this like we've done it before. But yeah, no, he is smiling because he is so positive and which obviously I need that especially in the season of being in postpartum. You need you know your support system. He goes through a lot. I'm sure you know in his work day but he never brings anything home because he knows that when he steps to the door, I need him to be like our rock and he is that for us and so. Thank you to Zach Dock for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. You guys, as somebody that got diagnosed with ADHD and adulthood, I feel like Zach Dock was made for me. I can take my doctor's appointments same day on my phone in the Zach Dock app. I'll realize oh shoot, I ran out of my medicine. I need to refill. Make an appointment same day within a couple hours. Boom hop on the appointment and then right away I get my medicine filled. It's that simple. They pay the lifesaver you guys. And as someone that books Matt's appointments, Zach Dock is very easy to use. They let you search and compare local in network doctors and they have more than 150,000 providers within 200 plus specialties across all 50 states. Plus like Matt said, appointments happen fast usually within 24 to 72 hours and you can even score same day appointments lots of times like we have. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Ready to be seen? Head to Zach Dock dot com slash unplanned to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That's zo c d o c dot com slash unplanned. Yeah, I want to talk about that dynamic a little bit of like you being gone like in the workplace and then you being home with the kids. I feel like people talk a lot about like those initial moments of like being reunited after the day like where sometime I feel like in the past like our parents generation like dads kick up their feet and then the moms are like I have been working all day too. Like how does that hand off work in your household? Like I feel like he is way more involved than even like I feel like traditionally. Like even your dad will be like, oh my gosh, Tristan does like so much and it's not because I expect that of him He has always wanted to be a dad and so the second that he comes home He has like a fresh mind and you know all he wants to do is he jumps right into dad mode It's never like I had a long day at work and I've been working all day because he knows that I've been working all day too Not even social media side. He knows that I've been working as a mom So we just with you know when you have more than one child you have to divide and conquer you have to be a team And so when he walks to the door It is literally like go time to bedtime, you know like we are working together to get to eight o'clock Yeah, I'm so curious when your kids go to bed. Oh gosh. It's fine. Well our oldest son is that kids all over the place we Our other kids go to bed like right at eight o'clock seven thirty to eight o'clock But our oldest one is so he obviously wears like boots and bars Well, they might not know that for his club feet. He is in a device until he's four So basically they kind of describe it as like when you have braces and then you get a retainer They don't want your teeth to go back so same thing with his feet. They don't want his feet to go back So he wears this you know device at night that he's been wearing since he was Two months old a little guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so it's all he's ever known But now he's three almost four and he's like wait, but I don't want to wear this anymore Understanding phase of like his brothers don't wear them. Yeah, but he wears them and it's just like and it's uncomfortable Yeah, they're uncomfortable. It's a hard battle and you literally like he finally learned how to take him off Yeah, which like we cannot let him take him off because if you read like relapse essentially like if you stop wearing your retainers If he has to redo it all he has to get surgery again, which means he's gonna be in star all over Yeah, for six weeks, three three-year-old who moves around a ton. Yeah, he can be bedridden. Yeah So like it's super serious. Anyways, it's it's really sad, but like you have to we had to get locks to lock his boots It's really sad. You're like smiley like it's sad. It's like sad, but it's funny It's inevitable. It's what has to happen. It's life. Yeah, it is what it is, but This little guy can stop when he's four. Yeah, when he's four, but like so it's like seven months. Yes We're on the countdown. He doesn't know that he you know that there's a timeline, but obviously we know there's a timeline We don't want to tell him there's a timeline because you're asking every day. Yeah, then kids have no concept Yeah, there's no concept of time and so he just knows that it's something that he wears every single night But anyway, sorry, you can go on with the lot. He just like won't go to bed. He won't go to bed He comes out he crawls out and you hear his little boots like my boots off and I'm like you got to keep him on buddy You take him in there Walks right back out anyway the little locks we got I Just left him on like 0 0 0 because like I'm this kid's not gonna learn how to take these locks off I would spin him he learned to put him to 0 0 0 take off his locks Are you kidding and I was like what the why did you like he watched me? He's been watching me put him on 0 0 0 to unlock them and so yeah He takes off his locks. So now I had to literally last night reset all the locks so like random codes So he can't know how to take them off. They're so smart. Yeah, it is it is really hard for us To see him not want to wear them and just see him uncomfortable and to see him sad over them Why am I so I'm like about to cry think we were postpartum than I am. I'm about to cry I think my first night. Yes, just sleep with no. Yes. Yeah, he's had nights where he doesn't you just like your heart Brakes for you. Yeah, you have some nights where it's just like we want to you're taking these dang things off Like you can just come sleep asleep. Yes. Yeah, but we know that we are doing what's in his best interest by putting them on The bikes keeping them on by doing the locks like it sounds really aggressive to like put locks on these boots But it's like you know in the long run We don't want his feet to relapse and have to do another surgery and do casting and do these boots all over again So we have to do what we have to do now to you know make sure that his feet are correct until four We put you know we were four years in we don't want to go backwards So but yeah, all that to say getting into bed. Yeah, getting into bed is tough Yeah, they know they know that like you know They work and work and work enough. I'm sure your kids do it too that you'll break and there's been times where we've broke I mean for sure sometimes you're just tired and you're like I just want you to go to bed Maybe too, you're like yeah, so but it's okay, you know like we're we'll get through it We have seven more months. We've already you know, we're three and a half years in but yeah long game. Yeah, it is it is okay So bedtime's not really like not separate. I kind of want to circle back just a little bit because out of curiosity Why did you choose to stop breastfeeding around that point that you did every time with your parents? Honestly, it was literally and I I think you know looking at it like now that I'm outside of it. I Have a really hard time taking care of myself So like when he went back to work, which obviously, you know He went back to work one week in all three times and then like people kind of start to check in less and you know Like as time goes and like I said, I'm just really not great at taking care of myself So it's like my supply drops. You know, I'm the first to go so like, you know all three kids have eaten and now I'm like I just want to go sleep and you know when you're breastfeeding you have to like really keep up on your water intake on your food intake and all those things and so like Around that like three months is when I think that like my supply dropped significantly our third baby had a horrible latch from the very beginning and there was a lot of issues there but Yeah, that like three to six month mark is kind of weird like tapered off from me all three times and honestly too Mentally, I told myself like I was wondering if this becomes Harder than it is easy like I'm just gonna like not give up But like we're gonna have to resort to formula because my kids deserve, you know a happy mom before breast milk like at that point fed is best and so Yeah, all with my first baby it was for sure like okay I'm not doing okay mentally. I need help and so I need him to take a shift in the middle of the night I was pumping and I was exclusively pumping and exclusively pumping is like oh my gosh like nightmare Yeah, forget it. We were we didn't even have a bottle washer when we when I was exclusively pumping and so we were like Handwashing every single pump and you know, I was like Not doing okay mentally and I was like okay I need to just I need to like find some bit of like ease or normal sea and you know giving up breastfeeding Was that and so yeah with all three it's been around that time. Yeah, the reason I asked is because I feel like breastfeeding is like such a mental game And then I'm like I didn't know if there was like a connection between that too for sure It's just you're always on a timeline Like not to make things too dark But I want to bring it up because I know like last year when we went through the horrible horrible and imaginable, you know, miscarriage Late term Abby mentioned to me that like you guys ran into each other and you we did we cried I cried and I can't remember if you cry I'm just I know I did we ran into each other at what was it that yeah the pumpkin patch and I had just senior guys as post before then and It was kind of one of those things where I was like oh do I Do I say hi, you know, maybe you're just trying because I you know, I know now like sometimes you just want to like be and you don't want to You know have to be on or feel like people are watching you or always feel like you have to like give someone a certain type of energy So I was like, you know, maybe she'd just hear with her kids at the pumpkin patch and she just you know wants to do her thing But something and me felt like oh, I should I should go say hi to her so I Did and we talked about your miscarriage and it was something that I was hesitant to bring up But we had miscarried between our first and second baby You know not to 20 weeks and so I was actually just telling interesting because he's not on social media about your story I think a few weeks ago, but Yeah, we I feel like as a mom who has walked through miscarriage you it's something that Nobody can really understand unless you've walked through it So that's why I was like, you know, it's something was just pulling me towards you know, I was like I'm just gonna go say hi Give her hug if she doesn't want to talk about it And you know she doesn't have to talk about it I just want to say like I'm praying for you and I'm thinking about you and your family and yeah, that's so sweet. Yeah, I feel like Yeah, I think I don't know if you feel the same way, but like navigating There's such a complexity to the emotions you feel after you've had like healthy babies Mm-hmm, and then you experience a loss like that. It's such like a It's a uniquely devastating thing in a way because You know, it's I say uniquely because it doesn't mean that I'm not comparing like other people's stories because I truly believe that everyone's like You know, you're you're dealing with what you have, but uniquely, but I'll have to say you know how How special it is to see like you know to grow a Baby to full-term to give birth then to like raise a newborn and then to like go through the other side of that I don't know how you felt like during your miscarriage, but it was like almost like this hurt so much knowing what what could have been Mm-hmm. Yeah, I definitely my hardest pregnancy was for sure my hardest pregnancy mentally was for sure our second baby You know, I'm sure for you as well your baby after-loss your rainbow baby because you know those thoughts are constantly in your brain, but Yeah, I sorry. I can't even remember what your question was. Well, it really wasn't a question. I guess I kind of just like wanted back over to you But I guess you kind of answered my like my thinking in the sense of like so your pregnancy after-loss was Yes, yes for sure until we got to I think the anatomy scan then I felt like we could be like okay we can breathe a little bit and to you know our only experience before then I didn't anatomy scan was receiving his club foot diagnosis so to know you know to get to the anatomy scan I was so anxious because of that like is this baby going to have club feet as well and then also you know just like knowing that everything is going okay you know but yeah no the pregnancy after loss definitely is just every single week is like okay you know we're getting there and it wasn't truly until he was put on my chest that I felt like I could breathe and like just like let out a big sigh of relief because yeah you do know what you lost you you understand now because you have another baby but yeah no it's really difficult and I I definitely like sympathize with you so much and that's why I was like I just have to give her a hug even if I appreciate that even if she doesn't you know want it you just doesn't want to talk just give her a hug and tell her I'm praying for you guys. Kristen was it hard to come up with the words to say it to your wife at that time just knowing yeah being guys like it's like we just want to fix it and it's like we can't like there's nothing you can do to fix a miscarriage it was definitely tough I mean I don't want to belittle the situation like it doesn't affect doesn't affect a man the same way as it affected her so like I'm not as emotional or as I guess attached as you could say to the kid yet because I feel like a lot of your attachment as a man comes to the kid when it's like when they start kicking when they start oh yeah feeling the kid something something that like really stuck out to me was I mean just understanding what Abby was going through when this happened to us a year ago was like she is lit like every waking moment she's aware of the baby and her belly and it's like we just don't feel that we don't have that same experience and so there's no way for us to understand which you know it's just and it's it's awful and so it's just you got to be there and like not yeah not try to fix it because there's you just can't you know yeah I guess just the difference of a man and a woman we all have our easier and harder things but yeah that was definitely just another learning curve in our life I'd 100% have to I'm probably not as soft as I should be sometimes like I was saying I'm just a lot more logical but everything happens for a reason and we got to where we're at now and now we just imagine our rainbow baby like I cannot imagine our life without him so yeah it is a truth to him yeah he really just was like the cherry on top yeah he's perfect but it was hard for sure I remember when she told me I just didn't even yeah I didn't know the word I didn't know what words to say I didn't know what I just tried to I guess hug her and make sure that I was there yeah I did feel for him because he didn't know how to feel like you guys don't feel the sadness because the second that you are pregnant you have this attachment to this baby you know no matter how many weeks pregnant you are you are immediately you know like this baby is a part of you yeah and so for us it's you know it could you feel it way more maybe than than you guys do and I feel that and it's not to say that you don't love you don't love your baby that you lost totally it's just harder for you to understand that emotional attachment right from the time that you see those two pink lines you are that baby is a part of you and a part of your family for forever and I think again as a man it it's I feel like for you you didn't really feel attached to any of our children until they were born and you were physically holding them yeah so yeah like you said like when you're pregnant you're physically aware of that baby at all seconds of the day so maybe I mean I know it's mainly women that listen to our show but this could be something that I think why I have to share with their husbands that I want to ask you ladies like what is it that men can do in that horrible horrible situation of miscarriage like what is the best thing like Tristan did or I did or or what is something that we could have done better to support at that time like what is it that you need oh that's like an impossible yeah I think it is to like it's just impossible I don't know do you have any great advice no I honestly don't I think just I don't think anybody yeah not putting a timeline on it I feel like yeah are like expect because that's the thing about it is that like you talk to a mom that's been through it and you're like right back to the day it all happened you know it goes back like and so it's like even though we're X amount of days away it still feels like it just happened yeah yeah you know yeah my question for you being on having had too healthy pregnancies after loss was it easier the second time where did you feel like it was just as hard oh with our third day yeah oh I I felt like it was way easier okay yeah yeah way easier his pregnancy was honestly so great up until the end I mean you know when you have two toddlers and you're massively pregnant and you were pregnant in the thick of the heat yeah criminal yeah never do that again yeah oh my gosh but something that like literally gave me just chills I was like I cannot imagine what that would be like I you know again heard you opening up about the craziness of the most recent birth oh yeah and correct me if I'm wrong but in like it there was an apseotomy or something that was my second baby yes yes what what was going through your mind like all right here's the we're getting out the scissors are you just like what the like what can we not do that he was actually so calm because I looked at him I actually like you know apseotomy isn't like the normal practice it's only in the case of an emergent situation that they're doing an apseotomy and when the doctor pulled up the scissors I said whoa whoa whoa what's going on and I looked at him and he said just like like looked at me with like a face that was like just it's gonna be okay like you need to like calm down because like he could tell that something was going wrong I did not know that something was going wrong so I'm like wait why are you resorting to an apseotomy right now and he looked at me like very calmly and was like just like we got to just keep pushing we got to keep keep going so but yeah I don't know like what that experience is like I mean I just watching that happen in my eyes like ignorance is bliss like just let them do their jobs and trust him and we love we love well we didn't have him for our third baby but we loved our doctor um he just was like somebody you could trust and very straightforward and blunt like he knew what he was doing and just had to trust him like you could tell you picked up on the energy in the room like everybody's calm you're just having like a standard you're having the baby but then like the like things start beeping super fast and people started like more so running and like everybody just started to be in a little bit more panic mode and she just like looked at me and I was just like holding her and that's that's all I could really do just hold her and I don't know I just go into those things for some reason I don't I don't go into it thinking anything bad it could ever happen like I just I always think like we're just gonna come out of this like we always do yeah and we did yeah you like every relationship has to have a warrior and a non-war year yeah yeah yeah yeah like nothing back ever happened like the worst will probably yeah do you feel do you relate to that yes for sure yeah no he was definitely way calm that situation he could tell me immediately be like wait what's going on and he was like we're gonna get the baby out like we have to trust the doctor and I was like because his heart rate was dropping yeah yeah his heart is dropping like significantly and they yeah I was a piece of me and the vacuum oh wow yeah I've never seen anything like that yeah what does that look like it's like a literal plunger yeah they literally like plunger baby out just like put it on like uh-huh yeah crazy yeah it was like your third birth was our third birth was easy yeah it was like weirdly easy we were like yeah so easy get ready to push all of them babies yeah oh what it was like okay we're getting ready to push then it was like happy birthday and we're like wait wait I didn't even push yet what do you mean happy I push I push like you push once yeah I don't even know she it was literally just yeah it was a crazy versus key was like literally we were almost having birth in triage yeah how how many hours was the labor oh I don't even think it was there was no no yeah yeah I think I only labored with our first baby with second and third it was like you know just epidural water break pushing baby like really quick births wow for those two how does that even happen I'm like wow how did you figure that out having a child is such a like unique thing it's just like crazy like how everything comes together for this kid to just like were you induced with your first I was inducing my first and my third okay yeah just like I just happened yeah I got a membrane sweet okay yeah I got a membrane sweep and then that night at like 3 a.m I woke up and I was like I think I was spicy ramen yeah and spicy ramen I think did it and then yeah we woke up and I was like I think I'm in labor I was having back labor I've never had I've never labored in my back before so but yeah we got to the hospital I was like seven half eight and then broke water epidural push a couple times and he was here what's crazy do you feel like your boys follow the traditional birth order like as far as their personalities yes one to eight percent I mean our third baby he's six months old like we don't really know yes still a question mark yeah but like the first and second for sure like our his son camped the other, yesterday he had an Ninja Warrior class and his coach gives him a sucker at the end of class and he's like, well, he needs a sucker as well, like, you know, very, like, aware of his brother and, you know, our second child is just like a little brute. Like he's just like, that's really funny because our boys did an Ninja class as well. Oh, really? Yeah. They're awesome. They're awesome. Yeah, they're trained. Black girls. They're awesome trained ninjas. Yeah, you don't want to get into fight with them. Oh gosh, it's so funny. Is yours as an actual, like, is it actually at a martial arts studio or just like the obstacle course? Yeah, that's an architude. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like if they do like the same techniques as like what the, like, you know, they swing from rope to rope and do the little, like, walk on the thing that rolls and things like that. I think it's the same thing. Okay. We might be going to the same place. Yeah. Okay. Um, something Ken that I really related to you on is not wanting to have wearables on your body to monitor your health at certain times. Oh, yeah. You like mentioned to me about, like, you're ordering messing with your brain. Yes. Like, seeing your sleep score. Yes. Like, now look, I, I love my garment for when I go on runs. I want to track my run. I want to track my workout, track my steps during the day. But like, I've been purposely not wearing my, my watch at night because if I wake up and I see that I slept for three hours, then it just makes me more anxious by brain. Yeah. Yeah. No, I rather not know. I'm like ignorance is bliss. I'm like, I'm probably going to feel the same at this point. So when did you start doing that? When did you realize you needed to take off the wearable technology? The ordering was telling me that my stress levels were like way exceed what they should be for like a certain amount of time during the day. And I was like, this thing is stressing me out more than it is helping me. So then I was like, I got a subwear in this. Like, this is not good for me mentally, because I was like being obsessed with it. Like, okay, how can I like, you know, make it happier with me that, you know, so the, the stats. So then I just was like, yeah, I can't wear this thing anymore. Have you ever dressed and considered, like, you know, retiring in a way? Like now that, now that Ken's social media has exploded, or you ever like, it's been a topic of conversation. Did people ask you that a lot? No, more so. Her. That's just like, I feel like it's kind of standard in the industry of like all these women that like do social media. They like retire. They retire. They husbands. The husbands to stay at home dad. I just told her from the beginning, no matter how far you take this, that just will not be me. I think it's good for our marriage, too, to be separate. Yeah, I, yeah, I agree with that. I just, that, I don't work a whole lot. I work four days a week. I feel like that's a fair amount, but I like to also have like my own career, my own goals and whatnot. But the whole me working six days a week while she was doing that, I was, that was when we hit a phase of like, what the heck are we doing like, why are you making money? I'm making money. Then why are we still like miserable here? But then I transitioned to four days a week and it's been honestly amazing since then. Yes. So you guys have found like a good balance then? Yeah. I've spent that a lot. Nothing to anyone that decides to do something different, but I think that's really great. Like you both are like contributing and have your own things. And he doesn't like, if he were to retire, he doesn't want to even be on social media. So I feel like that would be different if he was like, I'm gonna retire and then like we'll do this together. Yeah. That's not something that like he wants to do and it's nice for us to have our own things. You know, like I have my own thing and he has his own things and he has his own career goals within his career and I have mine within mine. And then, you know, we get those three full days, which is such a blessing because, you know, when we had our first baby, we only had one day a week together. One day is not it. Yes. That's tough. That's a lot of people's experiences. That's just life. You know, somebody has to be the provider, but to be able to, you know, be in a career both of us and then get that time together at the same time has been, has like honestly changed our life to have. Yeah. This was like recently too. Yeah. Within like the last six months. So what would you say your career goals are? Honestly, I said this to somebody the other day. I think like my only goal and this is where we're at now is to be able to like make it to every single third of two of us to be able to be at every soccer game, be at pickup and drop off and, you know, send our kids to school if they want to go to school and just be able to be as present as we can while still be able to like financially provide for them. And that's kind of really my own goal. I'm not somebody who wants to like take this to the point of like walking red carpets and going on these like crazy brand trips. Like I really just want to like stay home with my kids, be able to be a stay at home mom and still you know, have an identity that is me outside of motherhood. So I feel like we have like gained this perfect balance of that in this last like year I would say. But yeah, I don't really know if I have like major career goals, but just yeah, work life balance, I think is was like my goal in January was to find that. And I think that I found that because I think that you guys could probably say it's hard to find balance when you're like your job is sharing your life. And so it's like, okay, what is social media and what is real life because sometimes those like lines can really blur when we started this podcast. Yeah. So we could talk to talk to other people about their life. Yeah. Yeah. It is like a world of like I couldn't comprehend when she first started this. Like it was obviously just like a little side gig thing and then she turned it into what she did. Like this is mind blowing and I had no clue like what this could entail. But she sure she is now. Yeah. It's nuts. Okay. Well, we have some agree to disagree questions. These are actually really fun ones. It's really fun ones to play a little game. Are we answering these out of here? Is it just? No. Okay. You guys are just going to agree. Well, are you guys going to have some like bands? We can. We'll participate. Okay. Okay. Okay. The first one agree to disagree. Couple should share household chores equally. Agreed. Three, two, one. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to disagree. Oh. I don't know. I just feel like be a team. Like if you have time, do something, if I have time, do something. Oh, I guess I wasn't interpreting the question correctly. Oh, that was high. I wasn't interpreting. Okay. No. Yeah. We'll say the question again. The agree to disagree. Oh. No. I mean, it's like whoever's home. Like if your home and the dishes are like need to be unloaded then like unload the dishes. Yeah. No. I was thinking that but then I was going to have the answer be agree then. I'm lost. You don't agree. But I feel like you got to work as a team. Yes. Yeah. And I'm also going to keep a tab though. I took out the trash. You better clean the counters. Yeah. We definitely don't. That's what I'm not going to do though sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, well, my tally's are looking. You're like, wait a second. It is hard to not keep tabs, but I feel like you got to communicate. Especially when you have a new baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's maybe different if you're both home. You know what I mean? Yes. Because like when he comes home, I've obviously been doing the house chores when I'm home. But then like when he comes home, honestly, I love doing the house chores when he's home because I'm like, I get a break from the kids and like, I can do a mindless activity and do this. And you can knock it out. Yeah. So fast. So fast. That's what we do a lot. Like I'll hold the screaming baby and then she'll be the one picking up. Yeah. Because she's like, she's also, you're way fast. Right. Picking up the meat. Yeah. I'm like, I can't sit here and hold the baby and watch you do this so slowly. Yeah. And partially wrong. Yeah. Yeah. That's the worst thing they tell you to do something. I'm like, okay. I'll go do it. She's like, oh, I'm like, let me just do it then. You got to let me do it or you do it. Someone gave me the advice. I was like, have they choose to do it or if they like, if you want them to do it, let them pull it on it then. I was like, yeah. So sometimes I'm just like, my eyes like twitching a little bit. I'm like, okay. That's like the middle of the night with our first baby I remember. We were like trying to switch off like diaper changing and I was like, okay, it's your turn to change diaper and you know, obviously as the mom, you're laying there, but you're like still fully awake. I'm listening to everything that's going on and like, he's like slowly, like, going to the diaper and like, going to the changing station and like, walking back and going to the mom. So I'm like, just let me do it. It's just like, I'm already awake, like, let me just do it. But yeah. No. Household chores. We definitely both pull our own weight. We gotta get in here. He does the dishes way better than I do. I do the laundry how I like it to be done. We have our different things. I like it. Agree to disagree. Holidays must be split equally between both families. Oh, this is, this was really hard for us in the beginning. This, can I give a backstory to this? Agree to disagree. Okay. Three, two, one. Agree. Agree. I don't know. Agree? But that's not the case first. So the women, they win, dude, like, we can't, there's nothing we can do. We gotta, we gotta just. No. What? No. Trust in his very, like I said, he's very fair. He sees it very logically, everything is like logical, it has to make sense, like your family got Christmas. My family gets Christmas. A lot of families though, like, top, like typically some families have, like, the family they're closer with, the family they're not, but like, we're pretty equally close with both families. Close. But yeah, she literally, I remember when we're engaged, we're being engaged or dating. I don't know. I think we're engaged. And I was like, what are we gonna do about holidays when we get married? And she was like, what do you mean? I was like, I was like, like Christmas, you're gonna go to my families and we're gonna go to yours. And she was like, no, we're not. That was being brought. She's being a brat. Yes. She's come a long way. But literally was like, um, yeah, we're not gonna go to your families for Christmas. And I was like, that's a deal breaker, Kennedy, like, we will go to your families and we will go to my family. This is the whole day. I just now learned that your name was Kennedy. Oh really? Yeah. Do you call her Kennedy? Yes. Dorable Kennedy is yeah, I feel like it's really funny because growing up only people who were really close to me called me Ken And then when we got married my handle my made a name's browns my handle when we you know when we were engaged Or previously was Kennedy Brown and then we got married Kennedy Crotic was taken so I just made it Ken Crotic and now Everybody calls me Ken because that's my handle, but yeah, my real name is Kennedy Yeah, but he calls me Kennedy all the time. I don't really call you Ken ever. Yeah, no Okay, agreed to disagree. So did it get it got solved or it's still yeah, yeah, we solved it We realized it's pretty hard It probably should be a pre-marital counseling. It probably is a pre-marital counseling thing how to do holidays It is hard to navigate you know It was the idea of like giving up what was my Christmas for 20 plus years to then like spend Christmas with somebody else Who has totally different traditions is like it was a little bit of a like come to reality for me I was like, okay, like we're sharing. Yeah, we're sharing. Yeah, so but now like that you have kids Everything changes because you have you know a lot more poll like His family does Christmas at the very beginning of December and my family does Christmas the weekend before and then we get to spend Christmas just us Wow, you guys really figure that out. Yeah, all Christmas. Yeah Christmas is in one month. Yeah, but it works It works because we get to spend Christmas with just our kids and we still get to do both of our families And we don't have to like be running all around Arizona on Christmas morning. You guys really figure that out Yeah, that's of all worlds. Yeah. Yes I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. We still haven't figured it out every year every year We're like, what are we doing? Yeah, sometimes we try to like Spinner foot down and then they never work like near each other We have a good chunk here in Arizona, but a lot are back in Missouri. Oh, okay a little tiny bit in Illinois now But all days are hard because I feel like until we had kids We were just trying to make everybody happy and then when we had kids like okay, no like we need to be happy What do we want to see our Christmas like every year? And we're like with our kids just us five now and so yeah I think our last Christmas before doing that our kids we were at his parents house and like our son ran out to you know His parents Christmas tree and I was there was a moment where we were like okay next year We want our kids to be in our home and running out to our Christmas tree and yeah, so we're kind of moving to like doing Christmas here Like in our house, but then we got sad, but then for New Year's will go or like actually what we did two years ago We pretend that like Christmas morning was actually the morning of New Year's Eve of Christmas Eve And so the New Year's I was like wait for it. Yes on the 24th Like Santa came to the 24th and we're like oh, it's Christmas I don't know and then we flew out later that night That's what we did two years ago. I thought that was good But my I have to go back to that. I don't know. We'll figure it out. They're like thirteen and we're like no It's 24 yeah agree to disagree pda with your spouse is weird agree to disagree Yeah, we definitely don't we don't we definitely don't it's obviously It's not even as much as like I think it's weird. It's just like uncomfortable man for us Maybe I'm definitely the more like physically touch like I like but like what is pda like are we making out on public Just like holding hands and hug me. I mean you could I don't know. I mean I'm just like pda. No not holding hands But like kissing in public. Yeah, I'm making out. I like to wrap my arms around Abby and and it's like you know that awkward like prom pic We're like yeah, like I do that. I don't like I don't think that's weird I'm thinking like when you like look over and you're in the Disneyland line and someone's like making out It's like okay. No, there's like a timer place Six flags type of stuff. Yeah, that's happens to me at Disney and I'm like Not that I'm like a prude or anything, but it's just like Okay, next is Soulmates are real agree to disagree agree. Yeah, oh, that's so sweet. Would you not agree? I actually See I I would have said yes until I was like no, and I was like well my answer's no - but I wait what That's cool. I always heard it in my show. She is my soulmate. You are No, you're just he's so logical. He's like there's got to be someone else. You could be married to that like If you guys never went to ASU and you were raised in London, I could agree with I could agree with that I mean just even the way I was like raised and grew up Kennedy is not the kind of girl that I thought that I would have married The way I grew up and a good way or bad and I mean in a good way if she's just a different like I grew up like hunting Fishing camping. Yeah, not her like he was not that's not Kennedy He was you were more attracted to like the girls who like play sports like a tomboy and like a tomboy Yeah, and like I am I am not she was as yeah complete opposite. She's like I will not can't I did it He just took our son and I did not go I took her camping and we literally made it back to Phoenix in time to watch the movies Yeah, like we like fully real I was like gonna surrender to the camping and like when we were dating you You're trying to impress. Yeah, and I was like oh I'll go camping with him like this will like impress him You know like he loves camping he wants a girl. It's gonna camp and yeah We like literally got there set up the full campsite and like we laid down in the tent to like Go to bed because I guess we have to like go to bed like when the sun sets Yeah, so you can like wake up for the sunrise I was like not even close to tired at all and he's like fully like snoring and I hear him like Sticks move and like there's no fire. It's pitch black. He's in the background. Yeah, and I was like In my head like oh my gosh, do I wake him up like this is gonna be so embarrassing? We were like newly dating and I was like no, I have to wake him up like I'm terrified I don't like this and I was like hey, um like I don't like this. Like I want to go home We let him pack up the whole camp site at home and he took me to the movies and I was like yep done deal like you are my husband Like he was dead asleep. Yeah, he packed the whole thing back up in my car. We had it unpacked for maybe an hour and back That was like okay, well, I guess I broke the ice. I'm not a camper at all, but yeah That was like me pretending like super hero movies for Matt for a little bit there. She acted like she liked Guardians I hate them. She hates it. I literally hate them. When did you break the news? Yeah one when they kept showing up into a sequel? You're like your sixth Marvel movie in like I was like I was like I'm done here like 15 hours of showing Agree to disagree Mary couples should not have close friends of the opposite sex agree I Love how to decide you guys yeah, you guys are like unified in these I want to know do okay What I got to go feed the baby. What's what's the best? I really want to know this one you say it Parents should take vacations without their kids agree. Oh, why do you say that? I like it I think you deserve time away just like undivided attention for each other I feel like even our little one-on-one date nights like it's like a couple of hours I don't feel like we really like get to connect the two of us in that like what do you call the little vacations? We go on before we have babies. Oh, baby moons. Yeah, yeah Honestly, the best we do for two days maybe three days. Yeah with no kids and it like just rekindles our marriage It's the perfect amount of time though three days for sure After three days, I'm like alright. We're like top-on-art. We want to see our kids Yeah, you know, we love each other, but we're like ready to just like yeah We went to London last year and that was like four days too long really I've just you two yeah And here's the problem is that it takes a day to get there. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah For two days. Yeah Three it's like four and a half-ish. I don't know. I did freak out. But yeah What have you guys been on a trip since you had the third? Oh, you haven't we haven't even been on a trip since we started having kids You went no, they said yes You guys you haven't been on a trip just the two of you. You haven't before teller. What where we literally went Oh, I mean we didn't go on a trickly on a staycation, but baby moons have been with the babies No, but I'm saying like we haven't gone anywhere like outside of Arizona Just us two for longer than like staycation like two days. Oh Yeah, I'm saying like even I'm counting the two days though. I'm counting that okay. Yeah, then then yeah Yeah, yeah, where have you guys gone? Wait, I want to know literally I kind of think I know how you're gonna answer this one based off of our earlier conversation, but three kids is easier than two Okay, I feel like but now it's starting to get way easier, but yeah, I disagree for sure like two was way easier because you know I have one maybe he has one maybe and now once you're outnumbered it definitely changes Things for sure and the two might feel like getting up on they at least get up on me like they like inspired together Against me. Yeah, why the two oldest ones for sure bully who's slightly. Yeah, who's the stricter parent? Oh easily him But he's not with them all the time so it's like kind of like I have to let things go just to survive, you know Yeah, sometimes I just close one eye. Yeah Or you just hear something you're like Yeah, no our our two kids the other day were Sharpie in our wall Changing the baby and I like come down the hallway and I hear our oldest camp being like hurry hurry She's coming and I'm like what could possibly happening right now? Like what are we hurrying for and my second child has both sharpies in his hand and he's like this and I'm like Okay, yeah, for sure he gave you the other Sharpie and you guys were sharpying the wall together But now it looks like only he was sharping but yeah, no, they definitely they get away with a lot more when I'm there because again I'm just like trying to survive with three kids by myself But when he's with us, you know, we're together so there can be more of that like parental role But yeah, when it's just me a lot a lot goes out the window It's a rival. Yeah. Well, thank you for they's for coming on the pod you guys. I know - I think I have no idea what time it is for Dan. - Yeah, I'm like, I just can tell that it's been a while. - You're the let down, you're like, oh no, help. - Abby just had her milk come in, so I think-- - It's okay. - I think that's her signal. (laughing) - But where's the best place for you people to keep in touch with you guys? - Oh, just my TikTok and Instagram, Ken Kratik. I'm like, Tristan is-- - My kids are on a building. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm gonna find your body on the phone. - It's a burner account. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just leave in my comments a few times if I don't catch 'em before you pop some. - Yeah. - Just leave 'em really quick, but yeah, I know. - Well, thank you guys so much, this was so fun. We have so much in common, so we can talk for hours. - I know, I know, yeah. - Thanks guys, this was fun. - Thanks for having us. - We'll see you guys in the next episode. Peace.