Kelsey Cook Joins The Show! | Whiskey Ginger

Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series presented by Fandall. Well, I'm no longer touring this year, friends, but I am putting together a tour for 2027, the year of our Lord. And I'll be coming to your town, no matter where you are. I want to come see you putting together a big, big multi city tour. Comment down below on this video and let me know where you want me to be. And I'll come out there and perform and give you the laughies. All right, okay, let's go to the episode. In here we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy, ginger. Like that, guys, the ginger gene is good. Ginger is a fugitive. You only five downers for the whiskey. 75 downers for the whole. Ginger is our hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like ginger. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest says one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, when I meet him once again today, it is the return of Kelsey fast hands. I think about you every time I play foosball, every time I think you pop it in my brain. I should send you a text, but I think that's weird and annoying to be like playing foosball at a bar. You would be surprised how many texts I get just from random comments like, there's a foosball table at this bar. I just thought you should know. I'm like, I know, I love it. It's like it's a reminder of you. Like I saw a video of a guy. This, it made me laugh the other day. So hard. There were these guys. They're on a golf course and a butterfly flies by and somebody goes, oh, they're Sharon. There she is. They're Sharon. And he goes, you know how people assign a dead person to like an ant? He's like, oh, they're Sharon. Only comes out in the summer. Sharon does. Her ghost isn't up. Apparently Sharon disappears in the afterlife in the winter. It's so funny. Like the reminder of something. He's like, yeah, Sharon, Sharon's a seasonal ghost. She only comes out in the summer. It's always a butterfly. It is always a butter. It's never like an ant. Now, oh, there's Michael. There he is. Oh, there he is again. That is true. Why butter, but butterflies. I did see a monarch yesterday. Pretty beautiful. And I got to, I am one of the super I'm like, there's grandma. Because she died when I was young and everybody in my family was like, she's going to come back as a butterfly. And I know who fucking knows, but that just stuck in my brain. And so I still am like, grandma, is that you? I don't know. And the butterfly doesn't respond. Of course, it continues to fly away. Actually, my mother has a, in our garden, she's got a, in our garden. What are my British in our backyard? That's insane. I got in in a garden in my mom's garden. I'm a spotted tea. I mean, my mom's garden, I haven't seen. And she's got wind chimes in the little baby tree. And it's for my grandmother. And sometimes, you know, like, it'll ring. And my mom is like, oh, there's Nana. And I'm like, this is, kind of a windy day. Yeah. But also, it's just a windy day. You put a noisy thing in front of a breeze. So it's kind of like, like for sure. Yes, there's Nana. But how about Nana show up when there's no wind? There's also weather patterns. Yeah. It's Chicago in the summer. It's a little windy. It's a good old friend of ours. We love her. We miss her. She's no longer with us. She's alive. But she's in the Midwest now. She's passed to Minnesota. She's passed on to Minnesota with her incredible, funny, uh, fion, fion, fion, I should say. I'm not allowed to say married. I said it on accident. But it was only because then I thought you'd probably call him husband again. And then I'd have to do the awkward. Like, well, yes, we're getting married next month. And I don't know. I just, but what's the date of your marriage? So we're getting married five days after my Netflix special. That's amazing. What a party. Gonna be an incredible week. I mean, we didn't plan a like that. But plan, you know, we saw the wedding date. And then they were like, here's your Netflix date. And I was like, holy fuck, that's gonna, I mean, again, it's gonna be great. What a great party to have. A lot of sweat in that week. No, you should. That's so dumb. Get that out of here. What a celebrate. You've already done it. You did the work. Let it go. Yeah. Happy hour on Netflix is available right now. Please go watch that. Even pause the show. Turn off the show. I don't care. Go watch the special and come on back in a little bit later. Once you're fully satiated, satiated, satiated, satiated. You got the fiance. Yeah, fiance and satiation. I'm learning words. I'm taking a words class at night. But go watch happy hour. It's on Netflix right now because that would mean a lot to us and support the community of an extremely funny human being. Thank you. I'm Minnesota people. He's a Minnesota boy as you might remember. That's right. But he's from the rich, rich, rich, rich area. Idina. No, he's not at all. He's from Utsiga. I've lived there three and a half years and I still don't know. We don't even have a high school or a middle school. They don't even have a water tower. Just on the field, you learn. Yeah. Tough in the winter there. That is the Midwest. Every water tower that dictates what town you're in now. That has like the township name written on the water tower. Yeah. That is so that is as a kid when we were going traveling for like basketball or something. That's how I'd recognize when we were getting close to where we were going. I'm going to go. There's the water tower for that town. I don't even think about it. You're so right. Now I'm just, it's like constantly walking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why? I'm too dumb. I don't know. Why do we have to mark those with water? Why did they have water towers? We have reservoirs everywhere else? Look at none of us know. We just grew up with these things and threw stuff at them to make the ting sound. We throw a rock in here. We're just accepted at these giant things. Yeah, it's so weird. Like when you're flying over the Midwest, that's all you see is water towers. My little Google boy is going to look it up right now. Where did you shoot happy hour? In the Twin Cities. You're insane. It's cool. Yeah. Cool. I shot my last special Minnesota myself. That's right. I forgot. What is it? It's still a water pressure thing when my car is dead. But it's also a water pressure thing. Your microphone is dead? What kind of fucking operation is this? All right. We'll get a new table. Get a new table. Yeah, I shot it in Minnesota. Yeah, I shot it in Minnesota because of you. No, I shot it at the I shot it at the pantages. Oh, that's right. Okay. You were I did it in St. Paul. It's just a city over. Yeah. Fitzgerald theater. What was your experience at pantages? It was a great. Fantastic. We did four shows. Yeah, we did four shows, which was kind of daunting. I really wanted to do four at first. I've always done two. And then I thought maybe four would be more fun. Did it make a positive difference? I had a little bit of a panic attack on the first one. So I'm glad I got four. Well, just because like the rhythm was not what I wanted. And I went into it with full panic because Shane Gellist was playing with the timbre was playing Kevin Hart was playing in amphitheater. And I was like, this is not cool. For my special. God. It worked out great. Always something. I know we sold out four shows. It was fine. It was awesome. I was so happy to shoot it there. But Minnesota's always giving me good love. So I did it there. But it was good. You did two. Two. Now did you blend them or did you use one? I blended them. But it was mostly the first one. We. Okay. So it was like a weird thing going into it. I had a mild concussion when I shot the special because we got into. Do I need to call check? I got into a car accident three weeks before. Oh, shit. We were going to a Viking's game and took the exit off the freeway. I'm just sitting at a stoplight. And this like comically large truck like monster truck rally truck. Just didn't stop. They just like went into the back of our stopped car. Holy shit. And so my head didn't hit anything. But it was just like the whip lash was hard enough. Chad was fine. I learned that this is like partly why there can't be checking in women's hockey because of like our bird bone next. Well, your brains are smaller. Yeah. I'm obviously. Yes. I'm going to say that to my wife. Hey, bird bone neck. Where's my dinner? Like it's the 50s. Get me my dinner, bird bone neck. Oh, God. But like he was fine. This is like strong dude. Yeah. Big man. And I anyway. So get out of the car. I think guys like it's just like guy and his 20s. He's like, I mean, I stopped. I don't know. And I'm like, yeah, you used our car to stop my anal cavity. Yeah. You're like, your car's fucking my car right now. It's like in. It was such a weird thing to be like, I stopped. It's like clearly no. No, this is a whole thing now. So. And then I was like, I still want to go to the game. I don't want this guy to have like ruined us going to the game. I'm sure I'm fine. And then we're sitting there watching the game. And I realized I've just been staring at the same patch of grass for like 10 minutes. Just like not, not there. So I had to go to urgent care twice that week, started like throwing up. Yeah. Just this whole thing. So tough going into a special. Yeah. Where you're like, would love to be mentally sharp. Yeah. And I can't look into light right now. So we had to like, dim the lights a little bit for the special. You had to physically change it for the special. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. That's terrible. You can't postpone because all these people have set it up. And you're like, and that's another guilt trip thing. You're like, I can't. I have to do it. Now I don't have a choice. All these humans have put in all this work. Oh God. That's what a daunting experience. I know. But it's like what you're talking about with finding out that Shane and Kevin Hart are performing where you're like, what am I going to do? What? Yeah. You're just like, it's the train is in motion. It's too close now to stop it and change it. And then we had some like kind of weird things day of my makeup artist. She did a great job, but just like took, she took a long time to the point where there wasn't really time to I feel like getting a good mindset beforehand. So I like fucked up a line the first show had, you know, where you're just up there like, God damn it. And the concussion wasn't helping. So when you're asking if I did one or two. - Yeah, I blended. - You have to. - 'Cause I was like. - Well, there's no shame in that game. I would argue most comedians do that. In fact, Chris Rock made an entire special what that's all he did. - Oh. - Was blend, how many shows was that? Four shows or something like that? He did one in every city, do you remember that? And he like mixed them or whatever? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I can't remember the name of that. Which all wolf did that too? - Yeah. - Where they blended every city or whatever. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's fucking who gives a shit. I mean, it's like tambourine. - Oh, that's right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - There's this weird idea that it's like you should get it and one and you're like, no, because stand up as fans know, changes every night. So what's to say that like the second night tag or punch or something you did differently the first night just rhythmically is gonna be better sometimes it is. You know, and sometimes it's worse. There's ones where I did the second show and you're like, well, that landed harder at the eight o'clock. My God, I thought you'd like that joke of that. We don't, we don't like that at all. Can I tell you the most diabolical Chad story? This is before I knew him, but this is like his lore is that he had a show on time. First show went great, great crowd. Second show didn't like the crowd as much and they would give him a reaction to a joke that he didn't like and he would pull up his voice recorder and play the joke from the first show and be like, this is what a good crowd sounds like. Just so you know, I'm like the balls on you. I mean, he, I am amazed by him all the time. He's so, he's just not afraid of anything. - Yeah, well, why? I mean, it's comedy, it's supposed to be free and stupid. The tension of filming a special is what kind of ruins a little bit of the comedy because you're like, I shouldn't feel this way. I should feel as fun as I always feel when I'm doing this, when I did this before. It's not like it's your first go. It's like you should feel that way. But like you said, you feel this thing during the week of your run up for the special. No, 'cause you can't change it, it's over now. You already did it, it's blocked. You did all the work to do all the, all the nitpicking that you needed to do. And it's honestly, it's like, I hate to be that cliche thing, but it's like, it's out of your hands, it's over now. Are you really it is, it's gone. - I know, do you know the quote, let go or be dragged? - Yeah, let go. - I don't love them, I know. - Let go. But it is cool to be dragged sometimes. You ever been behind a boat? You know what I mean? Like it is fun to be dragged sometimes. - Minnesota lakes in the summer. - Lakes in the summer. Have you been, have you guys been laking it up lately? - Yeah, Chad bought a cabin in 2020. And so, we go up there, it's very nice. - So thank you, China, I guess, huh? - A little Wuhan. - A little Wuhan. Chad goes, let's get a cabin, baby. - It is fun, lake life. What does it mean, me and O'Connor used to say, when we go back to the Midwest in the summer, like we go down to, or up to Madison, we'd go in the lake and we'd go lake it easy, dude. Lake it easy, dude. We'd be laking it easy all day. Now you're out in the lake, you're out on the boat and we talked a little bit before the show but no more drinky pinky anymore, that's gone. No more booze on the boat, which by the way, safer. - Sure. - Saffer, better for your health. - Yeah. - Better for you. - Better in every way, just less. I don't know. - Bullshit. - Yeah, a little less. - Well, you're healthier physically then, you're healthier mentally then. Some of us need to escape. (laughing) - I do, I will say having a beer on a boat is something, there's something about it that is. - I know. - Yeah, we've got it. But I think you guys putting it away together is cool. It's cool when couples are like, we'll try it. Like, we'll take a break and see how it goes and not in two years later, you don't pine for it at all. - Well, we still pine for it. - Do you? - Yeah, but it's only, it's like being on the boat in the sun and sometimes we'll look at each other and be like, "Oh, Margarita right now would just be so nice." Like, we still, it's not for me. It's not like I have a bad day and I'm like, I wanna get fucked up. It's in the celebratory way where I'm like, this would be fun, right? This would make it even more fun. - So someone would argue that's a good, you don't have a problem then. - Right, I never felt like I had a problem, but I mean, I mean, everybody feels like this. I think the older you get, the hangover's just are tough. - Yeah, sure. - They're tougher, they last longer. And so, Chad and I both were like, let's just, let's just like take a break and we'll see how we feel and we never thought we were gonna like fully give it up, but then we would go to a concert and be like, okay, let's see what it's like to go to a concert and not drink. It was surprisingly a great time, get a drive home, not worry about, drive on, you know, you're not forgetting half the concert the next day. It was nice. So we were like, well, if some of the things that we thought we would want alcohol for are still fun, then it made it hard to wanna go back, I guess. - 100%. No, I trust me, I totally, there's moments where I wish I wasn't as drunk, so I really enjoyed the thing a little bit more. But then there are days I can't even lie to you. - No. - That with the boys when I'm liking it easy on the boat and having a little zipper and I'm jumping in the water and I'm laughing and being a little kid. - Yeah. - No, but it's the same thing for me, is I never have a, I'm so upset I need a beer. For me, it's like, you know, if me and the kid go get something, I'm like, do you wanna go get a beer today? If it's like a nice, it's a, yeah, it's almost like an end cap to all of it. - Yeah. - Now do you consume anything else now? - No, I've been like. - Sober, sober. - Really sober, yeah, which. - Chad too. - Yeah. - Good, do you ever a weed, but never a weed? - Not really, I would. - So you ever a weed? - No, we would do like a gummy occasionally. I don't know, I feel like the older I get, I'm getting so fucking bland. I'm just like. - No, come on, what do you mean? No, you just don't need these things and that's fine. - Yeah, that's okay. The Midwest has really got you really tamed you down. 'Cause when you were out here, man, it was, I would see, she'd be doing bumps before she'd get on stage. He's like, Kelsey bumping in the hallway, and she's like, how do my way, Santines? - So raccoon lady. - You were nuts, yeah, you were feral. You were so crazy, dude. No, I think you do as you do get older, it is. It certainly does change your perception of what's worth it or not. - Yeah, it's always a little bit of a, it's a give and take. I mean, the times where I would drink, maybe it would feel a little more exciting in the moment, but then I'd pay for the next day. And now it's like, I feel like not drinking has uncomplicated my life in a lot of ways, where it's like, Chad and I aren't getting into dumb, drunk, argue. You know, it's just like, all these little things that can come off of alcohol, you're just like, yeah, that's just like, we don't do that anymore. - Now when you get into a fight, you know, it's really-- - Now it's like, we're fucking locked in. You're focused. - Are you guys getting married back in Minnesota? - No, we're gonna do it in Spokane. - Spokane, everybody's invited. - Joe, put the address here down below for the wedding venue. Please, and the phone number to call in and reserve one of the blocks of rooms that are blocked out. The code name is Cook Daniels Wedding. And please put it up right there so the fans can call. And anyone who's allowed to attend, so please go. You go back in your hometown. We were see from, he's from Minnesota. - He's from Minnesota, yep. - So he said, okay, we'll go to your family's hometown. That was nice. - Well, you moved there for him. - It was like a thing, yeah, like he's given me that little-- - That's sweet. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then is a honeymoon planned, or since you're both comedians, it's like we're touring right after, so no. - We're touring Europe together in the fall, and so that's gonna kind of just be like-- - Wow. - You doing co-headlining shows? Oh my god, this is the best. You guys are like one of the only, there's only a few comedy couples, like Natasha and Mosha. - Yeah. - What? - Oh, you made a face. Well, I thought you made a face because Mosha just had crazy surgery. - Oh, crazy surgery. - I just saw Natasha the other day, but. There's only a couple comedy couples where both very funny, cool people, and you guys get to co-headline, bananas. - It's fun. - That's very cool. - We, like one of us goes up and tells the jokes that we have about the other, and the other person goes up, tells our jokes about them, and then we go back on stage together and get to give our version of that, like the rebuttal. - That's great. Is there a tour name for this? - We were doing the notebook rebuttal for a while, I don't know, we're actually gonna label that, but. - Let's rename it right now. - Yeah, okay. - I really immediately went to that song Love and Marriage from, from, from, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - What's wrong with me? Why can't I think of the name of that show? Am I crazy, right? - You know what? - Al Bundy. - Al Bundy, what am I talking about? - What? - What is going on? Am I doing, you gave it, you gave me a brain fart this morning already once, and it's killing me, dude. Love and marriage, uh. - That's really pit-- - It was like the flagship box show. - Yeah, yeah. - Google it right now, that's gonna really make me, this is really annoying, he was a shoe salesman. This is crazy. This is crazy. - I know what you're talking about. - Christina Applegate, what's wrong with me? - The first word is married. - Marriage children. - Marriage children. - I'm really appalled that I did that. (laughing) I watched that show religiously when I was a little kid and my mom was not happy about it, 'cause at the time it was like a dirty, it was like a rough round the edges show. It would be so tame today. - Of course. - But back then it was like, oh my God. 'Cause he was like a misogynist. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - America, he was kind of like what they would have pressed as like the new Al Bundy. I mean the new honey mooners, you know, kind of vibe, but love and marriage is what I just thought of for some. But now, but you want something that's got a rebuttal on it, something like that. He said, she said. - Yeah, live couples therapy. - Live couples therapy, yeah, that's really good. And she's right, she's always right. She's always right. - She's always right. - She better be always right. I like at the end you guys go out and combat each other. That's really good. - It's fun. We did a few of them on the East Coast last year. And it was a good time. And then it's nice 'cause it's like a paid couples vacation. It's like all the parts of. or that we don't like, which is like being away from each other also. It's like, then it goes away 'cause you're just like, oh no, we're on vacation. - You're gonna get separate hotel rooms though, right? - Yeah, you have to, you need your space. At some point-- - That's what I was saying. - You need your space. You just get the shared door, you know, the room with the shared, that's actually pretty good. Check in when you need to. - Not bad, I have to pop your head around. - You good? (laughing) Do you have any toothpaste? It's a double locked door. Wouldn't know what cities are you going to? - Dublin, London, Paris, and Amsterdam. - Gonna have a blast, dude. Dublin show is one of the best shows we've ever done. - Really? - We've ever done in my career. - No shit. - Hands down. Hands down. It was called the, it was called the Three Arts. - The Three Arts is what it was called? Three Arts. - Yeah. - Okay. - Unbelievable show in Dublin. We got Irish step dancing on stage who taught us how to step dance. - What? - This is hilarious, yeah. - Oh my God. - It's the Three Arena, yeah. - Okay. - It's so cool, man. The fans were, the whole time the energy was through the roof. Like it never laxed. They never like, it was so, it ended because of boot. - No, I'm kidding. - No, they were partied out, man. It was fun. - We went just for fun to Dublin, London, and Paris, a couple of years ago, and we did the Guinness tour. And we were sober at the time. And so at the end. - Yeah, you go upstairs. - You go upstairs, and we asked for the. - And a Guinness. - And a Guinness. And you should just, like, the fucking look they give you, as they wheel out the dustiest keg of NA. - But when we have to tap it now, no one ever tapped it. It's been untapped since we fucking made it. Thanks a lot, Cook. Does anyone know how to tap an NA keg? I mean, but you know what, fuck them? By the way, they're NA beer. When I'm on my, when I'm on a no-boost keg, I think them and, and high knee double zero are my two favorites. - It's, it's, I can't taste the difference. I mean, I'm sure people can, but I think it's good. - I can, but I don't care. - It's good. - Their NA is really good and high knee makes a good one. I mean, there's so many good ones now. Like, my brother-in-law is, he doesn't really drink anymore. And so, we get him athletics, athletic brewing. - Yeah, that's good. - He fucking loves them. And he's like, this one tastes, they're getting better. As time goes on, when we're like in our 60s, I bet you it's gonna be flawless. The flavor profiles will be really good. - It's crazy, yeah. - But at the time, you could tell it was not. - They were bummed. - Yeah. I felt like it's, it's like holding a bono severed head or something, it's like a very disrespectful thing to do in Ireland is just, you know? - You walking upstairs with bono's head. - He's like, you know, they're prints. - I know. - And you're just, yeah, yeah. - But you're right, I get it. I get their little attitude about it, but so what? That's why they look 10 years older and you look younger than your age. For really, truly, dude. You go to Ireland, I go to Ireland, and they're like, hold you. And I'm like 42 and they're like, oh my god. - Really? - A pup. - Yeah, because they, a 30 year old, they look 65. The weather, the booze, the food, there's no salvation there. - The spray of the sea. - It's just salting your face every day. - You can't just crust in it out like a Bavarian pretzel. Just fucking, correct. - Get the mustard, get the mustard, scrape some self-huffing your face. But you're gonna have so much fun. The Irish crowds were by far my favorite. - I'm so excited. - I was slanted by us because we knew going in that it was like, we were excited. There was something, there was like, there was like a feeling in the air of that place. I don't even, I can't even describe it. It was like, you knew show day, we were buzzing. Like the town was excited. Like, Dublin is a big small city. It's pretty small. - It's big. - But it's pretty small. - Yeah. - You're in town, they know you're in town. Everywhere we went, people were like, so excited that we were there. The rhythm was amazing. It was like, it was cool, man. You're gonna love it. - Do you feel like you got this extra excitement because you're a ginger? - Yes. Yes, I felt more at home than ever. - Okay. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - And they trust me more and they love me more than Bobby because they see Bobby and they love him. He's cute, but he still has a little threat. He's a little tiny Asian threat, you know? A little tiny ninja. So they love, I got a lot of love out there. But again, London was great. Amsterdam, you're gonna have a blast. We didn't play Amsterdam together, but I've been and it's good God, dude. So fun. - Yeah, I can't wait. - Don't do drugs. But go to the Red Light District. Go get a prostitute together because they're legal. That's a good relationship. Bonding experience. That's a honeymoon. - That's a nice honeymoon. - What did you do for your honeymoon? We got a prostitute together in the Red Light District. - Oh, sweet. He picked mine. I picked his. - You know, so I had a layover in Amsterdam on like a high school Europe trip. My brother was with us and he was in, I don't know, he couldn't have been more than like 10 or something. And we walked by in the Red Light District and there was a like very, very large prostitute wearing like the teeniest, tiniest little bikini and she was eating a cheeseburger in the window and she saw my brother and she went (laughing) and he like screamed around. It was amazing. - That stayed with him for years. - Yeah, I hope she's still there. - She probably is. Yeah, I don't, I would say she probably is. - Your brother's grown now. Does he have appendents for big women? (laughing) That didn't send its way into his brain. - No, no, no. - It is interesting what you think, like you love what you, what kind of women are men that you like based on what happened during your childhood. 'Cause I do think, I remember being at a chucky cheese as a young boy. I think it was my cousin's birthday and I saw this Latino cheque who I've told this before. I don't remember anything other than feeling like, I don't know what that is, but I like, oh, there's something inside of me. Do you know what I mean? - There was a tingle downstairs. - But there was just something happening that I was like, what is, I like that person. I want to see that person. - Yeah. - It was weird, I couldn't describe. And then for years all I liked was dark-haired girls. Like it was like singed into my brain. - Really? - Yeah, dark eyes, dark hair. I was like obsessed when I was young. - Does your mom have dark hair and dark eyes? - No, mom's a blonde. - My mom's a blonde, blonde hair, blue eyes. - Interesting. - Wow, it's dyed, it's dyed, it's all dyed. But she's been blonde my whole life since I can remember my mother is a blonde woman. - Okay. - She had like light brown hair, but dyed a blonde my whole life, you know. - I do feel like people always say that. - What's that? - Your mommy, you like what you like your mom. Yeah, no, I know blonde was never, yeah, I was always dark-haired. I was always something about dark-haired girl. They felt more dangerous. - Sure. (laughs) - Sweet ginger boy like you. - Yeah, I'm sure. - What's some danger? Another light hair, we can't go light in light hair. That feels, like light hair, light hair feels scary. - Right, right, right. - Your husband has dark hair, you have light hair. This is a match, but two light-haired people, you're like, is everything okay? - What are you doing? - What's going on? - That's suspicious. - Yeah, that really is dangerous. - In here, we pour whistle. - This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Fandall, baseball fans. 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Optum required bonus issued as now in which robber profit boost tokens restriction apply, including any other token expiration and max wage or amount. See terms at sportsbook.fandall.com. You got a gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER, 1-800-MI-RESET, call 1-888-789-7777, visit ccpg.org/chatkineticant. Visit mdgamblinghelp.org Maryland. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org. Call 823-750 Massachusetts. Call 1-877-8 hope and why, text hope and why, New York. Call 1-877-770-7867-Louisiana. [MUSIC PLAYING] Team chair, I like to enter. Does Chad's mom blonde with blue eyes? She is now. But I think she was a brunette when she was younger. I think in the past, he's been with brunettes, though. Really? Yeah. He was with other women before you. Pretty fucked up. Interesting, Chad. We'll have to have a talk about that. That's disgusting. Discussed that on the golf course, I suppose? Yeah, that's something to chat about. That's something to chat about, Chad. I'll mark that down. Is both his parents alive? No. So his mom's alive, but his dad-- that was a whole-- his dad was like-- I don't even know how to describe him. Always on the run from the law. And so they don't know for sure that he died. But they don't-- I think he last saw him when he was in his early 20s, maybe. Well, does he talk about it on stage? He ever speaks about it? Yes. Oh, yeah. I talked about it in multiple specials. His dad stole Chad's identity. Seriously? And ruined his credit for a long time. I mean, a true career criminal. But started out super nice and then just got into drugs. And then just really took a turn. And it's a huge bummer. Hey, yeah. Sorry, Chad. I mean, he's gotten a lot of great material out of it, but-- Yeah, it's worked in his benefit. But he made him a stronger man. For sure. He absolutely deserved a better dad than he got. But it really instilled in him. So he has two kids, and like being a good dad to him is the most important thing in his life. Sure. You guys know kids, you guys. Never going to happen. We don't have any kids. We're childless. Childless scum. It is so funny with you. I did this day and agent, you know, I'm in my 40s now and everybody does ask. And they get so, it's like their mainframe breaks, they can't believe it. They're like, "Why not?" It's shocking. There's a lot of stuff, but I mean it's like I'm telling you now. It's a weird, people do really want to know. They cannot believe you don't want to take their path. And I will say for the childless people out there like us, the scum. Selfish twats. Yeah, keep living your free life and do whatever you want. Don't listen to people's judgments about it. There is a lot of hard judgment to it for no reason. Yeah, it is funny. Like the reasons people give for why you should. It's just like, "No, no, that's a guarantee. It's just, I don't know. Do you have pets?" We do. We have a, we have a human. We actually have a human that we have as a pet. That's our dog. It's just a little boy that we boss around. Yeah, no, we have a dog. And we want to get, I would like to get more dogs, but I have to leave Los Angeles. That's what I said to my wife. I was like, "You want a house full of dogs? We'd have to have way more room." We live right now in a studio apartment. It's just us. What was that funny? Is that funny to you? We live in a 200 square footed studio apartment. The kitchen is inside the bed. It's just actually right here. It's actually in this office. Yeah. You're in my apartment right now. That would be such a funny con to be running this the whole time. You just have to be over the podcast. We have no idea. You have, like, live here. I live here. Is it next door? Yeah. I have to hide my clothes every time. I was like, "Kelsey's not on her way. Dude, hide the bed." Yeah. A Murphy bed behind this. This is my bed. It just yanks out like that. I'm amazing. No, we don't have them. And that's, it is what it is. I think my parents were very excited. Were your parents like pushing you for this whole thing? No. They were, they were pretty okay with it. My mom had me when she was older. And so I, I didn't have that pressure from her to have kids young at all. Cool. And then as I got older, I mean, also, my mom has dementia. Yeah. So like those conversations, we don't obviously really have anymore. But yeah, it was nice. I didn't, I didn't really have that pressure. I feel bad. So your parents were kind of intense? No, no, they were very good. I'm saying the opposite. I think I feel like a lot of people do get the heat. Yeah. And my parents were very chill about it. It was never like a, especially because it was a personal thing that, you know, like going through the process was not fun. So for us, it was more like, you know, they were like, just be happy. I mean, my God, it's a hard, hard enough life to like try to have kids, not have kids. And then people put a weird thing on you. So they never were like that, ever. But I have this, he's my child. This is my little child right there. I mean, you adopt people in life, you just adopt people. I know you post a lot about your mom online. I see these videos and I do. They're fantastic. I hate to be a corn ball, but they're very inspirational in a way where it's nice to, not a lot of people show that side or want to, because personal, I get it. Yeah. But I think you do, and it's really cool. Thanks for saying that. It's very, very cool. I think it does things for people to help them cope with how not easy it is. There's a guy that I followed online for a long time whose father had dementia. He lives with them. And they made hilarious videos together. Like his dad was very fun. Some people have a, it depends on, you know, which kind they have. Obviously you know more than I do, but it was interesting because they'd make funny videos together. It was like very odd. Yeah, it's, yeah, the dementia, I mean, all the, the variants that's so wide-ranging. But yeah, I think if you have a loved one, especially a parent with it, it's such an isolating experience. And like those sort of, like if my mom's having a nonverbal day, and I'm just like sitting with her and we're like eating cookies, sometimes those days are the hardest where you're just like you feel like there's such a huge disconnect where you're like, God, like where did my mom go? This is just like so hard. She's like not even speaking, not really acknowledging that she knows who I am. And I feel like if I even post that just to let people know if you also are having that, it just helps it a little bit. Like I've had a lot of people come up after shows, and be like, oh my God, like thank you so much because it is just a, it's a fucking crazy horrible disease. Like I'll be FaceTiming with my mom and she'll start like trying to eat her teddy bear. And I have to be like, oh, remember, that's your teddy bear. And then you're like, well, like how did we get, you know, but if you don't talk about it and try to like bring some levity and share stuff online, you'll fucking, I mean, you won't get through. I do feel bad sending your mom that chocolate teddy bear. I know. I keep telling you, it's just too much. You just have to separate the ones that are edible and the ones that are not. Like you AI, there has to be an element of comedy too, because it does, it's very dark. And you handle it very well. I'm very surprised about that. Now the hardest, does she, do you ever talk to comedy world with her or no? So she's in like the last stage of the dementia. And so I was there two weekends ago and I showed her, I like started playing the special for her. And she's not really like her eyes are closed for a lot of the time. So I'm going to open them and see what's going on. She laughed at one point and seemed to know it was me on the screen, which even just that I hold on. So yeah, I'm like, oh, this is so great because yeah, you just so many days. I don't think she knows who I am anymore or won't speak. And so I can't really, like I tell her everything. I'll be like, mom, I'm my specials coming on Netflix, mom. And you know, she either like won't say anything or she'll, the type of dementia she has affects her speech primarily. And so she'll just say like non words and you're just like, yeah. I think he just, she's, she's leaned over to Chad, she's like, it was terrible. The special was so bad. Chad's like, I know I can't say anything to her. Dude, I live with her. She's begging at this old time just to distance herself from me. She's like, Kelsey shit so bad. I have to pretend like I'm not here anymore. It's unbelievable. What's the terrible? Oh, really? That was so funny. I say I talk about her in the special because she, she went to the hospital like a year ago. And she was fairly alert at this point on that day and I, I came out of the bathroom and she turned to Chad and she goes, I like this girl. That's so fucking cool. And I was like, yeah, I'm your daughter and she goes, I don't know about that. I was like, but she liked that but she likes this girl. But she likes this girl. I know. I was like, also, she said it when we were in the same exact hospital she gave birth to me in, which just is like, oh, fucking gut punch. The place you were created, the person now like, yeah, I don't think, I don't think you're my daughter. You're my daughter. Okay. I liked my daughter. You know, I like this girl. Would have been a good name for the special. Oh, I like this girl. You know what we thought about it, but I was worried I would come off cocky. Like I was trying to make people think that's what they would think of me by the end of it. But they would. I know. I think it's actually a very middle, I like this girl as a cool name for something. Use it for something else. Okay. If you do a piece about it, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like this girl. It's kind of cool. It's very simple and he's like, oh, I like this girl. Yeah. I think it's great. Yeah. Also, the context within the special is nicer within the story. Yeah. Yeah. The Davidson's early special was SMD. Oh, right. That's his father's initials. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. SMD. Yeah. Yeah. He said he had a tattoo. I know everybody was like suck my deck. Yeah. And he's like, that's my dad's. Oh, Larry. That's my dad's initials, dude. I dad died and I don't know. You don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I make fun of me more, dude. It's wild. But no. Yeah. But anyway, I don't want to stick into it. But I just wanted to tell you this. Like you said, you put up a clip of you guys seeing music together. Mm-hmm. And that she was amped as fuck. Mm-hmm. And I was like, this is a great clip, man. It was just so cool. She was buzzing. You could tell, like, she was really vibing with it. Yeah. And you were like, yeah, you like it? She was like, yeah, dude. I love that. I love that. Thanks. I think I connected to it. 'Cause my mom and I have music is a great bind. Most of my text messages are to my mom or music. That's awesome. It's like songs. Because my mom's always like, I want new shit. But she's old enough now where they're not finding new shit easily. It's the internet's a nightmare. Yeah. So she's like, give me songs that you know I'd like. And I do know my mom's flavor. 'Cause it's embedded into my mind growing up in the '80s baby, like '80s music. Yeah. And anything that has like a pop tune that has remnants of the '80s, I know my mom's going to like it. And a lot of artists now are doing literally that. They're like stealing from the '80s. Olivia Dean. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like that song. I just heard it today. Oh, ready, gays. Yes. That is such an '80s song. When you start saying I was like, that's the first song. That's an '80s song. Yeah. That's 100% a song that I would hear my mom in the living room playing. It's a soft little sway. The man I need. Exactly. Come be the man I need. That's me in my car. And then I switch immediately to rap and I get out at the valet. And I'm like, yeah, park it anywhere, man. Thanks, bro. Yeah, bro. Thanks, dog. Oh, by the way, I want to go backwards for a second. Yeah, I'm going to go backwards for a second. can't go through insurance. (laughing) Like, the wild audacity of this guy to like, fuck up my car, give me a mild concussion and then be like, also, I wanna be shady as fuck about all of this financially. I want it to be a problem, I'm like, at no. So he just was, yeah. - He's, we're gone, it's fine, we're all done. - It's done. I hit someone's car, I parked outside of my house. Outside of my home, I'm back in one of my driveway like in a panic and I smashed into it. And she was so nice, she was like, it's all right. And I was like, what do you want me to do? You want my, and she's like, just give me some cash. - Really? - Yeah. It was just a bumper, it was like a nick of a bumper. - Oh, okay, okay. - It hit a parked car. I was flying out 'cause I was trying to, I had to go back, I was coming here. I had to run here, grab some stuff, go back and then go to the airport and I was like, fuck, I left that at the studio. So I was, I was, I'm out of my driveway and scuff, right. It's such a dumb, it's so funny 'cause then afterward, you're like, so many ways I could have presented that. But she was cool about it. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause she wasn't even in the car. So it was not like, I hit a parked car. - That's way better. - Yeah, it was easy. But I did feel like a moron. - Yeah, you can't believe it. - This is what we do. - Yeah, it's, we're scrambled egg brains. - You know what I mean? Like I'm trying my, I find myself that more and more. I'm like, there's so much going on, I don't have time. I am ready for, after it's all said and done, which is in the next few years when we close down the pods and everything's over and I can retreat to my little getaway and then I'm done. That's it. I think there's this great idea that stand-ups never retire. Maybe we do. - Oh, I maybe we should have had an air gun. - You guys are, yeah. - He is getting pretty close, I think. - Well, 'cause he's 74. - He's 74. - No, he's, he's got what you think? 10 years left. Meaning like he would want to do. I'm not saying what he's got. - I don't think he wants to tour that much longer. Like heavily tour that much longer. I think he will probably always want to get on stage, but I mean, he's been doing this for like, I don't know, like almost 30 years. - 30 years, yeah, 'cause you've been what? 15, what are you? - 17. - Yeah. - Yeah, and then it's like, this summer is the first time I've ever taken a summer off. - Good for you. - Thanks. - This was my first year I took off. I've only done like one-off shows. Like I did a corporate and I'm doing one more casino in St. Louis, like I'm doing like, just I did a couple of bop rounds, mostly 'cause I owed them for rescheduling. - Okay, yeah. - But I didn't, this is the first year that I had. - Good for you, how's it felt? - I hate to say this out loud. Fucking amazing. Like I was like, this is amazing. Like I thought I was gonna be anxious about it. I thought I was gonna, and I just don't. I'm like, I'll get back to it. I think for years I thought, you gotta do it. (laughing) It's like, you don't wanna stop, you idiot. And now I'm like, relax dude, it's fine. - Yeah, really? - I'll go back out again. Like it'll be great and I'll have more material. It'll be brand new for people. And yeah, it's, but the anxiety sucked for 20 years of my life of like, you gotta do it. And now I feel like I just do it at my leisure when I feel like it's, I should do it. Instead of, I have to. It was a gun to the head. And I didn't like that. There's many tours where I was like, I have to do this and I was overworking myself and scared, like they're not gonna like this. This isn't good enough, this hour isn't strong enough yet. And I'll let you, so fuck that. - Yeah. - Fuck that dude. - It's so nice to hear of another person taking some time out because it is, it's that FOMO. It's like, you're almost afraid to tell anybody. You're not, 'cause you're like, I don't wanna be, people think I'm like a leper or something. - You're a coach getting lazy. - Yeah, because it is, I mean, it's always so rewarded to be on that, you know, constant grind. And it's, yeah, it's, it's a lot. - It's too much. - Just a travel of it. If it was like, we only ever performed in the place we live. I think it'd be a little different. But the con, like, on a plane almost every week, different hotel bed. It's like. - It gets a lot. - Yeah, what are your little, what are your little particulars in the hotel now that you've become a little snob a little bit? Is there things you need? - I still, it's funny. Taylor, Tomlinson, like yells at me. She's like, stop, like. - She yells at everybody. - Fuck your own hotel. (laughing) - Like, get something nicer, 'cause I still just, like, go with, like, the clubs, recommendations and stuff. (laughing) - What the fuck is wrong with you? - I don't, I don't know. It's like-- - Are you sick? - It's like this. - Spokane in me, where it's just like, I'll just take it and I don't wanna-- - Yeah, I have to-- - Spokane roofing off the highway. - I have to stop. I have to stop. - No, like, we haven't changed these sheets since '96. You're like, dude. - Fucking black mold. - No, really? - Yeah. - I mean, get a little nice hotel. You don't need to be super fancy, but get to get something that's-- - I know, I do need to start being better about it. So-- - Chad does that, doesn't he? He gets nice hotels? I feel like he would do that, no? - He just, I think, goes with, with the clubs, too. - What's wrong with you guys? - I don't know. - You guys are sick. On this European vacation, you guys better-- You better do nice hotels. - We'll get some, I think, better ones there. - You deserve it. You've worked super fucking hard. - Thanks. - Yeah, I get a nice hotel. - Okay. I will, I've done this for years. Before I leave the hotel room for the shows, I will set the thermostat super warm so that when I come back, I feel like I'm getting a hug from the room. (laughing) - That's so sad, that's so sad. You're so lonely and sad on the road that you want to hug from a room. Fuck, that's deep, dude. - I know. - Wow. - I know. - What do you put it at? - 77, something hot? - Yeah, I guess 76. - You're absurd, dude. I like it icebox. I turn that face to 64, and it doesn't go any lower. Well, by the way, hotels are bullshit. Those are lies they never get to 64. - Yes. - It probably gets to 69 as they have a governor on it. It can't go a little say a number, but I know it ain't 64. - Oh yeah, yeah. - So I'll put it all the way down just 'cause I know it's gonna do only, it's governed level. And it's usually 69 is what it gets down to. Maybe. - Okay. - Yeah, maybe at best. - If you're lucky, 69. - Yeah. I mean, when I sleep, when I go to bed, I drop it way down for else, that's a nightmare to be sweating. - Hot at night's good. - Yeah. - But like right when I come back, it's just like a little-- - Do you ever take a bath in the hotel? - No. - That, to me. - All right, you can't cross that line. - I mean, I have holes. You know, it's like you can't-- - You can't hold. - It's a little, I do feel like for men, it's a little bit like, you know. - I just put a towel up there. (laughing) - I just cork it, and then I get in the tub. (laughing) - Is that pipe cleaner? (laughing) - You need more than one of my friends, okay? - I do take your occasional bath, I take the bath. - Yeah, but again, I don't judge a guy is hard for it. I've just-- - Sitting in the funk, you don't like, you don't even bath at home. - I'd be at home. - Okay, you do, it has to be your tub. - Yeah. - See, I take it, if it's a nice enough hotel, I like to sit in it. Right before I do a show. - Yeah. - I like to get in there, it gives me a warm feeling. - Before a show. - Yeah. - It doesn't put you to sleep. - No, no, no, no. - Because usually I'll wake up, coffee, write, hang out, fart around, tour the city. - Yeah, let's go. - It takes like a little tiny nap. - Sure. - And then, Jim usually, to get my blood real high, then little, but after you get out of the tub, you get in the shower. - Okay, yeah, so you're-- - You have the tub to the shower. - You're kind of getting then whatever was on you off. - Okay. - Yeah, you get in the tub, just get in the shower. The tub is just a way for me to laugh at how funny my weener is underwater. (laughing) - It just looks so funny underwater. You're like, look at that guy left, 'cause he floats in there. (laughing) - That's the mind of his own. - Yeah, I just want to see the snake in the water. That's all that really is. And then I get out of there and get back to my-- No, but this year has been nice take off. I will be happy next year to start something up again. I do think I'm excited for that, but now you got to have a little, I'm going to Scotland tomorrow. - Oh my God. - Yeah, I'm leaving at like seven, eight, six a.m. tomorrow. - That's amazing. - For Scotland. - For, I mean, or for fun. - No, for fun. Scotland, London, come back. And then I go to the Midwest for, then I'm Midwest, go see family and friends and bounce around and disappear. And then, yeah, I've been gone so much this year. It's been kind of crazy. But in a good way. - Yeah. - That's awesome. - Mexico. - Okay. - Yeah. - Mexico I owed money to the cartel. - Oh, sure, yeah. - So I had to go back down and pay him a dues, which is bad, you know. Yeah, to kill three guys this year. And every time I go down there, I do feel scared. I'm like, they're gonna kill me. They're going to kill me. Like, you're gonna get, I have a fear. They're gonna pull you over. You're not gonna have enough money to pay them off. And they're gonna be like, well, that's that. You die here now. - Yeah, no, no, no. - You don't go to Mexico. - That's fucking freaks me out a little bit. - You don't go. - Yeah, we went for Chad's son's wedding. But if I'm going to like go on a vacation somewhere, Mexico's not top my wrist. - I don't know. - I like it. I drink the water because I like to lose a couple pounds. - Get that. - What is the parasite that's going on on a bench? - Oh, oh, the new one? - What's the new one called? - Cyclopsis, Cyclopsis, you get one eye. You shit's so hard. - Even full of knowledge, this whole episode. If you've ever been caught on, we don't know what's going on. - Cyclopsora. - Oh, Cyclopsora, of course. Give it a easier fucking name. - Cyclopsora. - Cyclopsora. - Ha, in Ireland, they don't have Cyclopsora in Ireland. But I gotta tell you, when the CDC names these, give it an easier name. - Yeah. - Explosive diarrhea from Taco Bell lettuce now, is what's going on. - I know. - It's huge too. - Taco Bell really took the run of that. - They did and they don't deserve it. 'Cause they've been given diarrhea for years. - Oh, they're just coming out honest. - Yeah. - So like, you guys knew what was going on here from the jump. Fucking blame on like the salad kits. - Yeah. - Those are where it's like really getting deceived. You're trying to have a light dinner? - Uh-uh, yeah, you're gonna have a real, you're gonna have a good exit. I'll tell you that. You knew what you were getting into when at 238 yourself, a cheesy-go-dy-to-crunch into Chalupa. You were gonna you're gonna have a nice flow. That's how it goes down there. Yeah, they should embrace it a little bit be like yeah We do have cyclist Laura in the lettuce So what and the meat's not real big deal. Do you want to keep doing your GLP one or do you want to get enjoy something? Yeah, right before your eyes on these by the way Everyone is big like it. Yeah, you and your husband or not you and your fianc are not me and my fianc are not No one is no one is that I really love and respect Bobby's been on it for so long. I judge no one for doing it. No, no, I judge What do you mean you're it's like a it's like when they find out someone's Doing the tour de France or something and they take a shortcut. You're like Can't do that. It's the shortcuts bullshit. I will there be repercussions from this absolutely but whatever it's got to have some sad sad A fine that we don't know But it did help Bobby lose 20 Some odd pounds. So I'm not gonna lie. It's been amazing. Yeah. He looks like a different human being really he does I mean physically it's crazy his face. Well, he's so small to begin with. He was retuned though. His belly was big. Yeah He looked like I don't know the rest. Yeah, he looked like a Midwest. Yeah, a lot of Tater-Tot cast rolls. I do Yeah, Bobby was born he lived in your diner for a little while. Is that true? Yeah Born in Bourne. Born there and then moved to San Diego. Oh my gosh. Then they moved there moved back I've never talked about that with him. That's so funny. Don't need to talk to him about it much really the guy's not really Yeah, no, he was retuned like the midway I thought about that this morning had a breakfast burrito and it was delicious because that's what we do best here in Southern California Yeah, but they put fries in it and I thought I Would never eat French fries in the morning for breakfast any other time except in a burrito Because I was like well, it's in the burrito. Yeah, the burrito kind of hides all the Yeah, it's a wrap. It's healthy. It's in there Yeah, it's in there but no, but man That's the one thing when I leave Southern California that I miss is breakfast burritos are my favorite way to start the day Yeah, it's nice. It's good protein bagels Midwest fat guy It is whenever I go back whenever I'm like how many eggs are in the scramble to like seven? I'm like for me is this for the table to like what do you want west? They're annoyed though when you go cuz most of the time I will guys are kind of the two eggs in the scramble and they're like well We're charged. I mean, it's not gonna be cheaper. I'm like no, no, it's fine. Yeah, I just don't need five the eggs It's so that's so funny. I just last week there. It's we've ever been to brookers bagels. I love brookers Okay, I love them too. Yeah, but they I ordered like a don't say that to the Jews out here though. They'll kill you Like who's brooga Yeah, he's a guy. He's a guy I just wanted egg and cheese on a bagel and I saw on the screen. It was like automatically like two eggs She just I was like, oh Can I just have like I didn't need it to be huge, but you're right in the Midwest. It's like assumed like make it Make the rest of the day hard for her Set her up for failure Just fucking grease it up. I don't know. Sometimes it's a lot. They do make you feel bad about it Yeah, what do you mean? You know, you know, what do you mean? You don't want it? No, I just say just one piece of Jesus out of five. Why? Yeah You know my my heart like my my day, you know my body my butt really my ass. It's mostly my ass. It's pretty much all my ass That's like when you go to Wisconsin. They look at you like crazy if you don't want cheese When you when someone in Wisconsin goes, can I get no cheese on the burger? They're like, no, it's comes to the cheese. You can take it off if you don't want it. Yeah, there was some weird law I think you have to look this up. This is crazy. My buddy Sean told me Wisconsin if a restaurant serves cheese, they have to serve a certain ounce Per serving like legally they had to because of the you know because a big big big dairy big because of big dairy big cheddar There was something like if you serve cheese It had to be a certain percentage of ounces being served in order for them to meet some sort of minimums or something What was that it was something insane? He'll go go let what do you got? It mandates that public restaurants serve a small size of cheese and butter with meals. So you have to have cheese and butter with a meal Wild Wisconsin, baby. Wisconsin is doing things different over there. It's oh, so it's not true It was a short live law from 1935, but it was replaced in 1937, but it lips on legend She thinks but I bet you some restaurants just have just do it And they're like that's the rule. Yeah from the 30s when we had it all figured out that life was good That's right that what was it called bird neck was it what was the bird bone neck bird bone neck? God that I'm coming in ruined and everything Yeah, you're really setting women back a little bit on this pod bird bone neck How's it in Kush now? Are you good? I'm good now. It's everything's fine now. It just was it was shitty timing and Concussion protocol is so frustrating because you can't it's no screens. It's no reading. It's no it's literally just like Stair into the distance because you're not supposed to fuck with your brain That's it's a hard for you good for you, but like cold turkey off of everything. Yeah phone TV laptop a Fucking book couldn't read. Oh, you can't read a book. I thought it was no screens would make sense, but even words Anything that stimulates the brain. Yeah, they're like you have to let you have to let it rest So again three weeks lead out to special not a great time. Not a good love to be Prapy and we're just going over shit in your head. Yeah, you were Will you reciting it? Like were you doing the walk and talking to mirror? Yeah, that's a little crazy I know, but you know, okay, this is so funny. I was gonna bring this up Last time I saw you so I did the podcast and then we were both on a show at the store together. Yeah, and I was so Like so I guess to me the comedy store is still like I get nervous to be there to you Yeah, what do you mean you're such a pro? I mean, who is it? Thanks, but there there's just like, I don't know. It's the comedy store. It just feels like there's this lore around it But I know it's one of your like home clubs like you are that's my home club. Yeah, 100% yeah, you're going up all time But I was so impressed because we were just like talking in a group and then you're like all right I'm heading up and you literally like you went from being in a full conversation to just you just walked on you just Breezed up there, yeah, and I was like god the confidence you just like do you not have to go over things before you go on stage or You're not nervous at all. No, I think I have to go on them I have to plug out what I'm gonna do like hours before the show and kind of decide and be like that's good and then Okay, I would argue that helps me more than anything is to feel a little bit loose and free before I go on The more you're sitting in silence or patiently waiting or an anxiety or riddle the anxiety to go on always felt like a Effect of my performance and if I was more like free-flowing. Yeah, it helped me feel more loose and free Okay, so I'm always like that. I don't I like the whole like Banta or see people that I enjoy it gets my it gets my neurons firing and happy and then I just can go up and You know what you're doing up there. I mean you're already having your mind unless I'm trying a couple new things Which I sometimes will reference on the phone and have it out just to see the word to click me back in to go Oh, and I wanted to talk about this but yeah, but I I think If I didn't do that it's more anxiety-fueled if you're sitting and waiting. Okay, you're sitting quietly wait by yourself in the corner Right you're spinning out. Yeah, oh Lisa Simpson. Just like Just like I don't know I'm just in an anxious gal Lisa Simpson such a good reference Lisa Lisa shoes make my heart hurt my cats breast smells like cat food the best did I choose you choose you in a typical of a train. I Mean one of the greatest Unsung couples of Ralph Wiggum and her that's like the best no not Ralph. Yeah, Ralph Wiggum That's like the greatest will they won't they they won't but they should they because she's perfect for him and He's perfect. Yeah, right? Yes. Yes, he's mentally slow. She's way too smart. This is this is every parent That's what a marriage is no no She's very smart Chad is very very stupid. This is how this all works. It happens in every relationship. No No, he's very smart Chad. No, I'm kidding dude. Yeah, he's in Mensa. Yeah, fucking wild. He's like yeah, you're the idiot I'm yeah, you're off with him for sure. Yeah, he's Lisa Simpson. Yeah. Does he play this actually? I mean cat food for sure Does he play? Do you play instruments? I played flute growing up dark Why is that such a nerd instrument? Oh, it just is it's funny that like of all the instruments and band flute was huge nerd No, but like fun Flute and clarinet. I feel like we're like yeah, yeah get a read involved if to wet a read before you play it That's a lot. Yeah, yeah Coolest instrument in band is who So my dad's a professional trumpet player. I know you think trumpet's coolest. I think trumpet's cool I think drums gotta be king percussion's the coolest beating stuff is cool. Sure trumpet is smooth. Yeah, like that guy can still get girls Do you know what I mean? Yeah? percussion king Wind chimes is not even a real person That's someone they slid off from percussion and they made him do They were like get over there and he has no rhythm. Get over there. Just make him hit That Nana my grandmother. He's just doing my grandmother the whole time Here she is my grandma the whole time in band It's right in front of the AC Set the wood chimes up and just stand there and watch it do I don't work for you No, but you know what flute flute pretty nerdy. He's so smart I'm so shocked. He doesn't play the piano every smart kid. I know plays the piano. He does not play piano Yeah, my wife plays a piano and drums. Yeah, he does. Yeah, yeah. Monsign Monsign Monsign so wild. He's so smart It's crazy. How do you even get we I don't even know how that's it they choose you right? To choose you like a train. I was like his first therapist or something was like I want you to go Like go to this thing because I want you to yeah, and I can't remember how he set it up But Chad didn't know that that's what it was and then he did it and they're like you're in Monsign He was like what That's wild. I know does he ever pushed to like Does he ever like brag about that in front of you? No, he should he's like very That would make him cringe so hard if somebody ever thought he was actually bragging about being a Monsign It's like very genx Midwest man of like you don't like you are so like humble to a fault all of that So you gotta get rid of that, but he should wear a hat that says Monsign member Monsign Monsign Monsign Monsign I'm in Monsign I would brag about it so much if I had that that's I that's all I would do Yeah, that's like people to go to Harvard. Yeah, yeah, no, they tell you, you know I wanted to ask you let's go back real fast just because I want to make sure the fans know it once again Please on Netflix right now go watch go watch her special right now of course ironically named happy hour Cuz I talked about I know what you're no longer involved in yeah, yeah, and these guys will miss you But that's fine who opened for you. Did you did you have someone open the show? Yeah, Ben Katzner He opens for me on most of my tour. Yeah, he's fantastic based out of Minneapolis was in New York for a while and Minneapolis again Now he's so funny. He crushed it. How did you meet him? So he opened for Chad and met him there and he also opens for Chad to he still does. Yeah, yeah, it's great The guy guys guys got pretty good job security just open him for you guys. Yeah, that's so well. Let's never gonna happen Okay, let's say you and Chad aren't together anymore who gets who gets him Ben we should put Ben in the prenup. Yeah, you should you really fucking should I mean you're not you're not gonna Not gonna not be together anymore, but given the hypothetical who would get Ben? I mean Chad knew him first So probably I have to go to Chad who pays him better We pay the same Chad is very cool. He like kind of showed me how to do things the right way I think where it's like he Doubles the feature pay and like takes care of hotel and and all that stuff. So we pay the same. That's good Yeah, that is the move and we only get to the finances of what you should be doing as a comedian because a lot of people don't pay Well, I know I could name him right Put up listen it. No joke. I'll do that now. That'd be so funny joke. You know Joe will my editor will put up names for fun No, yeah, he'll just throw names. They wouldn't be true. It'd be funny Yeah, we did put up your wedding venue. We actually that wedding venue address was real. So please call that number Yeah, come on down. Please book them. Yeah, you do have to treat the openers great because I do think you were an opener too So it's like I don't I never understood this This kind of shoving off of them as if they're replaceable or whatever I I Make sure everyone I take is someone I like and I respect and that I really want to like grow And so I do a year with them sometimes a year and a half to who is the most Oconi and I did to and then after that I tell him, you know, hey man, I got to take someone else because I think it's just like a Clip the wings and you got to go and all of my openers Have been made a killer career amazing like everyone's been Allie McCofsky is one of the first I ever went with John red Netsky was one of the first people that I wrote and for me He's doing great Chris O'Connor also one of my closest dogs who's killing it on tires with Shane Zach Townsend who opened for me for a while and now Devoncer a Coleman and they're all amazing Yeah, I'm stoked about that sorry peak open for you sometimes who Laura peak peak did to okay. Yeah, yeah, but peakers was kind of already kind of like She was already kind of grooving. Oh, yeah, yeah, like she was so funny She was having and she was already kind of in the growth aspect period where you're like Everybody knows but yes, I would say she did but peaks one of those where I go She was already so beloved that she was kind of growing rapidly anyway So it was almost like she didn't need to feature for me if she didn't want to I think she just was like it was fun And we loved hanging out, but she's one of the coolest, but yeah, she did too because Because I remember the the first couple of times we went and I was like, you know if you're getting busier Yeah, I don't you don't like break your neck to come with me because you know It's a little bit of cash, but it's not gonna change your life But I was like if you want to do other stuff that's gonna help the career more She's like fuck that dude. I like to hang and if this is great and then she helped me on some terrible dates. I did Tampa and that was Ebor's tough dude. He was one of the hardest. That's like one of the hardest see if Simone came and brought some homemade food Thank God because I was like having a tough go and it was when I was just working out the hour and I was like, okay That's your hug from the room That was my hug from and then me and pico out and get fucking hammer She's one of them fun to party with dude. Yeah, I look at where I am now with like sobriety and just like living in Minnesota and I mean and then I look at Laura and I'm like Laura is fun. Yeah, she's like a fun person so fun Yeah, she's so fun to go party with anytime her and I would be at dinner This was a problem with peakers and I would be at dinner and She's like are you gonna get some you're gonna get some of the drink? I'm like, oh I don't know. She's like, oh, what do you want to and then we'd have seven? Yep, and then we'd like do you want to go to the show now? Go to the show hammered, which we only did a few times, but we did she's just she's always down She's always down dude. We've had some late nights out walking through a random city and The next day travel days are tough. Then it's no talky Then it's we get on that plan and it's like okay. I'll see you later just Too hung over which I'm getting sick of you're right. I you're Kelsey came here to tell me that I need to clean up as I always feel I do feel awkward Like I never want people to feel like when I say I don't drink anymore that I I'm judging you are No, I can't believe these people live this way No, I miss it. I wish that I could drink the way I could in my 20s and then Feel fine the next day sure if that was still having I'd still be drinking Yeah, but it was just like do you ever get anxiety after drinking? I have anxiety all day. Oh, so it's okay Yeah, it just never goes away. It just doesn't it's just a spin-out all day long and then I get home I'm eat dinner and then we have a little something on the couch and I Feel good again, okay, it also helps because You know my wife sees me and it's not a good product So I give her a glass of wine and she goes this isn't so bad Yeah, look at me after wine. He's like looking through a screen a screen door where you like it I can kind of tell what it is. Yeah That's all right. I'll take it Chad is Far-sighted and I like I kind of love it cuz that means when we're up close like I just look just like soft Oh, yeah, he's a little blurt far away there. You can see it just good. Yeah, so I can I stay real close chat Just nose to nose all day. Yeah Stop shaving my mustache. It's great. You do it. I was gonna say something It keeps getting stuck in the thing like Jesus. Do you still talk to Taylor a lot? By the way, you guys were very very close right from a long time. I'm staying under place. I'm here. Are you really? Yeah, oh, that's fucking cool. Yeah, I love her. It's so it is so nice to have like a true Best friend in this business like especially a best girlfriend. I think just cuz it's sometimes I don't know if you know how many say it. Well, let's just say it. Say it. Don't be coy and say it. I Don't know again, some people are I don't know how to say it. She is also like me like we both We'll do like a juxtap puzzle. Like it's just nice. We've always been very type A Both the girl the Lisa Simpson's in the corner mumbling to ourselves before we go on stage And I think it's nice to have that because Sometimes and this is it's not women only. It's meant it's just like sometimes You don't connect as well with other people if it's Yeah, totally different person. I don't know. No, you're right. I know what you're saying also the competitive nature is like look inherently in the world of comedy There are significantly more men than women that do comedy. That's just a numbers game and the women that do do comedy You would hope the community would be tighter, but it's hard because it's competitive So there is that part of it. That's a little harder where men find more more Confidence in comedy because there's just a numbers game It's just there's more opportunity for me to meet some now other ton of guys that I don't fucking like yeah There's a shit load, but there's way more people I get to meet that I do end up liking because there's it's just it's a Numbers game and you guys have less people in the running particularly at a level that you're at Which many people would be jealous of because you're successful and that gets that that becomes a reality I think that's in every business anybody can relate to that in any business where when the competition gets stronger It's because you're Valued more in your space and so then it's harder then you're like who's your real friends? Who's rooting for you? Right, and who's a little bit like fuck her, you know? Yeah, that happens. Yeah, yeah And that happens. I mean you say that to me all the time you'll text me and you go you know who this fucking bitch and you'll go off No, Taylor's great though. We have we I've always rooted hard for her. Yeah, you know for just because I was like It's a It's nice to have these like discerning voices of people that know what their brand is, know what they're putting out and aren't doing it, aren't doing what they think the crowd will like, but what they really like, which I think is huge and that's a big deal in comedy. It's kind of amazing. And which you've done very well and happy hour right now on Netflix, you gotta go watch happy hour. If you don't watch the special, four young children will starve, is that what we said four or five, how many was it five maybe, five young children will starve. And by the way, this is on you. The blood will be on your hands if you don't watch the special. And Ted Sarandos, who's at Netflix, did say that to her directly, people must watch this or Hellhath no fury, like a Sarandos five and down or whatever, whatever, is that what it said? That's something like that. Have you met him? Maybe met him? You're gonna. They sent a very nice wedding gift though, I was like really? Yeah, that's so sweet. That's so sweet. I was like, thank you. It's something nice. Like let me guess. Fancy. Portable speaker. Amazine gift card. Like no, like fancy, like glasses. Really? China. Yeah. Like designer tumblers. Oh, nice. That was really nice. Give them to somebody that drinks. You should have brought them here to me. They're gonna end up in a cabinet and you're gonna stare at them all the time. Netflix glasses. Yeah. Give them to me. Nice. Okay, what are the gifts? I won't harp on the wedding much, but what are the gifts that you really want and what are the gifts you don't want? Get it out of right now. Okay, well, so it's both of our second weddings and so we're literally having 20 people there. Oh, no one's going. Yeah. Except for our fans. Except for our fans. I mean, I want 20 now. It's gonna be. Yeah, it'll be 645. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people are gonna go. Yeah, so it's like no gifts. No gifts. No registry. Good for you. It's our family. I'm gonna tell my dad to buy me shit now. Yeah, you do. It's your fucking wedding. Buy me some shit. But when is your second wedding? You're like, you already did. They did at the first time. Yeah. I actually agree. As someone who's gone to, like my buddies are gonna have it. My buddy is gonna have a second wedding now and I did everything for the first. So I have no obligation for the second. Even to go. I even told him that. I said, I don't know if I'm an obligation to go. I mean it. I was like, dude, I did your number. I did your one. You get one out of me and that's it. Not inviting our friends, which sucks, but also as soon as we invite, like our best friends and their partners, then it's at least a 60 person wedding that it becomes a whole other thing. You can't just have, we're doing like a 20 person ceremony and then we're all going to dinner. It's very. Bugitabepo? Where are you going? Yeah. Well, I'm grinding. I mean, we're all spoken as specialty. But it's, it's so hard. I would love for my friends to be there, but you cannot then make it this very small thing. And I think they're fine with it, too. Yeah. You know, I don't want to fly. I don't want to fly, though. You don't want to fly, though. We didn't need to keep it. Annel cavity. In here, dude, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard! Sturdy, ginger. Like that has the ginger gene intricate. You only $5 for the whiskey. $75 for the horse. Ginger's our hell now. This whiskey gives excellent. Ginger, I like ginger.