Keeping Up With Katie Miller

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cityscape set and this part matters after you purchase your order you'll see a quick survey asking how you heard about cozy earth please let them know you heard about it here on i've had it that's how they know that we sent you so don't skip that part all new holiday drinks are now at mcdonald's like the frosted cranberry splash with sprite the red bull frosted cranberry energizer and cookie butter coffees it is the season for seasonal drinks at mcdonald's so we're supposed to start the podcast ready one two three patriots gay treats they treats black treats brown treats we are i mean dangerously close to the midterms so we love all of you and we absolutely cannot stand any em effort that goes out and votes anything to do with maggot what can they do pumps all right patriots pumps what have you had it with okay my my had it is more of an apology for how remiss i have been on this subject and how i need to do better and i intend to do better my i've had it is with myself because there are so many deplorable despicable appalling people in trump's orbit and his administration i have allowed how absolutely deplorable and despicable melania trump is kind of to fade to the back i don't put her top of mind in my she is the worst category and so when she came out and took credit for a peace deal that the pope did between ukraine and russia i just thought you know i've been remiss i had it with melania trump and the fact that she is every bit as gross and narcissistic as her husband and i have just not given them enough attention so i apologize um my favorite my favorite thing about the trumps is donald trump's been on the campaign trail and he's like don't even forget everybody i brought back christmas the war on christmas is over everybody can say merry christmas again and one of my favorite melania trump videos is i don't give a about the christmas that's my favorite my favorite is that the biggest warrior against christmas that i've heard on tape that opposes christmas that is like i am going to battle christmas is melania yeah oh for sure simultaneously trump is waging this you know i guess as a means to uh juice up his nobel peace prize resume uh he is battling the war on christmas and the call is always coming from with inside the house so melania trump it is irrelevant um she wants so desperately to be relevant this is a woman who has no um identity herself you know other than being a trump which i mean why would you want to identify with that yeah i wouldn't but um she uh is plagiarized uh michelle obama so as we get down to now she's saying that she's brokered a peace deal nobody believes this nobody believes this and so i mean obviously she's got more compromising information on donald trump than vladimir putin does because he allowed her just to do this which he is all about himself so the fact that he deferred and allowed her to uh uh spout this jet stream of about her brokering a ceasefire between ukraine and russia tells me she tells me she's like listen up mfr i'm gonna say this not you me and so he's like okay let's do it yeah but here's the thing you know you talk about you know we have this aid that goes on all these news channels and it's like she is the best first lady gives her all these glowing reviews which you know we have opined maybe they're in love and um but i mean i haven't said i think they're in love i think that they're banging excuse me i don't think trumps are capable of love you know i can't argue that point i think that is a very fair very fair point but it's just like here's a first lady that as far as i can as far as i'm aware has done nothing she doesn't have a campaign you know be best about internet bullying during trump 1.0 her husband is the biggest bully online maybe elon musk runs him a tight second but and then she doesn't live at the white house you've heard from trump campaigning that they had to pay her to go on the campaign trail she hates his guts she won't even get near him which from what i hear about his smells i i understand but like this is a woman that wants all the advantages and none of the accountability which makes her the perfect trump yeah yeah i mean she sucks melania absolutely sucks um and she sucked for a long time um and i wish that she i wish that somebody would have the uh selflessness to say you know what i'm done with this i'm gonna write the tell-all i know everybody needs it but they're just she's just so selfish keeping all of this information to herself when we all desperately need it the country desperately needs to know all of the horrific details like i'm dying for kimberly gilfoyle's burn book i can you know melania is a million times better but she'll never do it because she's a coward okay let me tell you what i've had it with i've been traveling a lot lately so i went to a little convenience store in the airport and it's one of those where you have to go you're it's a it's a a manless clerkless store so i walk in i grab a bottle of water and a snack and then you're just you know supposed to walk out and then it just it builds you as you go out it knows what you took and it builds your cart and i went in i got my snack i got my water and then i just walked out and i was just like is this what what it's going to be like i want i want the bad clerk i want to be able to say she was a right that guy was an or god what a pleasant person that was i don't like that ai is depriving us from all of these human interactions whether they're shitty or spectacular i'm craving bad service right now i'm craving somebody absolutely like you know cash or card i i want that back i want i i want that interaction back even if it's bad i want that human interaction back it was so soulless it was so unimpressive and i know the people that have been are like look at this technology we don't have to pay the clerk minimum wage anymore right i mean people could just walk out with their stuff i want the interactions i want to go in and i i want i want the interactions with people so that's one scenario then fast forward to another scenario i did went to another uh snack bar or like store in the airport and i got a bottle of water and then i went to the it was a self checkout so i scanned my water and then it asked for the tip i hate that i'm just like okay let's review let's review what happened here jennifer walks in to store opens up refrigerator grabs bottle of water walks scans it and then it says would you like what tip would you like to who i'm like who is this tip for right and this is such a a diabolical thing that these companies are doing because in the united states we have uh horrible wages for lower income people and so then these corporations that make billions of dollars want the customer to compensate for the fact that they are cheap tight asses that don't want to pay their employees and so we've all worked we've all been at some stage in our life you know i used to wait tables i worked in retail in high school and so you know what it's what it's like i mean you don't work any um any less than the people who make millions of dollars i would argue that you probably work harder because you're out there hustling and you get such poor wages. So you're completely reliant upon tips, but then they're asking you to tip. I don't know who, I don't know who that tip goes to in this scenario where I did, I did all of the work by tipping myself because it's going to be a credit back because that's not, wasn't an option for me. And so then there's like this tip fatigue because these corporations are exploiting the consumer so much that then you, there's this resentment developing towards the worker class because of the tips. And it's, it's just, it's a huge problem. Super excited about the midterms because Congress needs to address this. This needs to be addressed. This ridiculous tipping culture where I'm getting resentful. And I, I always, even if the service is terrible, I'm like a 25, 30% tipper always, even if the person basically, I can tell like, oh, this waiter hates my guts, wants me to die and burn in hell. They're still getting a good tip from me, period. I just, I, it would take something extraordinary, like maybe a MAGA waiter. Right. That was like, make America great again. Can I take your order, please? I would still tip them 30% if, if they were just casually MAGA, if there was some sort of like hidden MAGA pin, but if they were promoting MAGA ideology, I think I would bump down to 15%. I would still tip them just to show, like, you're going to get the tip, but you're going to get the minimum suggested. All new holiday drinks are now at McDonald's like the frosted cranberry splash with Sprite, the Red Bull frosted cranberry energizer and cookie butter coffees. It is the season for seasonal drinks at McDonald's. I have been in so many checkout lines, like self-checkout, like you're talking about that come up with the tip. And I'm like you, I waited tables. I understand how important tipping is, but I have accidentally, when I'm just going through, going through I've tipped myself and I did, I wondered just because I was going through so fast and I just hit tip, keep going, keep going. And I thought, who am I fucking tipping? That was my big question. But yeah, I mean, so I've been caught on that just trying to go fast because I always tip. It's just reactionary, but I assume the corporation just pockets the money and laughs all the way to the Can we just scan, tap the phone or the card and leave? No. It's what kind of tip do you want to leave? Do you want to round up for this? Do you want to donate to this? I don't want to take a quiz to checkout. I want a shitty person with a horrible attitude that is fed up, a person that on brand with this podcast has fucking had it, that drives to their job, goes in and hey, hon, how you doing? Scans it, doesn't, you know, bags it. And then it's just kind of like, I want that back. I don't want, I do not want a multiple choice quiz to buy a bottle of overpriced water with very suspect tipping regulations. And then who are these charities? Really? I mean, do we really trust these corporations? They're so charitable. Yeah. Give to this charity, but guess what? We're not paying our employees or we're firing them and we're hiring the robots. Fuck off to all of them. And there's just one other story I want to share. And it's about my dog, Tebby. So I just want to say that the best, biggest love of my life is this dog, Tebby. And I got him in 2015. And it instantly, I don't believe in multiple lives, but I instantly thought we've been together before he is my soulmate. Um, my kids and husband will say you like Tebby more than us. And I always respond. You're goddamn right. I do. He is consistent. He would die for me. He is always happy to see me. He's never shitty towards me. Um, there, I mean, when I come back from a trip, we do go through about an hour and a half of, um, him icing me out a little bit, but we work through it very quickly. So Josh was in New York a couple of weeks ago and Tebby has severe arthritis. And so I've had to buy him a stroller. And so ChaCha likes to do a high heart rate walk. And I like a high heart rate walk. And so I said, Josh, you push Tubbs in the stroller and I'll have Chach. And so I've got ChaCha and we are just, I mean, we are pumping heart rates up. We are walking the streets of New York. Tebby is in the stroller and he has to keep his eyes on me at all times because we're soulmates. So we're kind of going through a sidewalk that's under construction. And so it kind of has the building out. It's like one of those little, like construction hallways that are in the streets, if you will. If you've been to New York, you know what I'm talking about. It's like you're at the sidewalk kind of diverts and you're completely protected because construction's going on above you. Well, Josh got behind this pregnant gal and ChaCha and I went around the pregnant gal and Josh and Tebby are, are stuck. And I get about 10, 15 yards ahead of Josh, Tebby, full blown kamikazes out of the, the stroller head first to get to me. Which was hard on him. And Josh is like, there's a recurring theme in our marriage. Like Jennifer, you have to wait. Jennifer, you have to slow down. Jennifer, we have to be together as a family. This is like a recurring thing, right? So I hear Josh and ChaCha and I are like really going and she's so happy and I'm so happy. And I hear Josh going, Jennifer, Jennifer. And I turn around and I see, Tebby just head first, just like, but he bounced right up and immediately came to me. Like he took a licking and kept on ticking immediately. It was like, whatever the pain of falling on your head, it was worth it for him to get to me, to be an eyeshot of me. And Josh was so fucking mad. It was so great. I loved it all. Okay. Let me ask you a question. So Tebby starts running after you. Does he have to run with the stroller to catch up? Yes. Yeah. He has to run with the stroller. And he's like, you know, he gets up to me and I get it where he's coming. He's like, God damn it, Jennifer. You just roll around that pregnant lady. And I'm stuck back in that thing. And you know, Tebby's kamikaze-ing out because he can't stand to be, you know, three feet away from you at any time. He thinks he's your husband. So there's like this, it was so good. There was like this jealousy and then he was angry. It was passion. The whole thing. I was like, oh, I love, all of these feelings. Like Tebby wants to kill himself to get me. Josh is mad at me because I got too far away. Like I, it was just like, I loved the whole fucking thing. Tebby was fine, completely fine. But Josh, then the whole walk home. And I think even the next day was still like, yeah, you know, Jennifer's always in such a hurry. She has to do, do, do, do, do. Which we all know Josh is when he's in New York without Tebby, he's walking just as fast as she has. I mean, come on. Josh has two speeds. It's the weirdest thing. He either is walking. And I have a really, you and I are both incredibly fast walkers. Just my normal default walk is a lot faster than the average person's. Kylie can attest to that. And Josh either is walking so fast that I'm like, wow, I don't even know if I can keep up with him. Or it is lollygag snail pace city where he is just, and then it's always when he decides to slow walk, it's always just this attitude of, boy, can you slow down? Can we not just enjoy the city together? Boy, you're in such a hurry. And then when the boys are in town and we're all in New York, then it's a, it's, it's dog pile. Cause I'm walking around, I'm going to come to go, mom, you need to slow down and we need to stay together. And I go as a family, right. I got it. But we can also burn calories together as a family and pick it up. Keep it moving. It's hard for me to walk slow. Yeah. It's hard for me to walk slow too. Okay. Since you said that about the walk, it reminds me, this is, I think it's the cutest thing ever that Tilly does, but we'll let you be the judge. Okay. So when I walk the dogs, if the dogs see another dog or another human walking, my dogs, not blaze, he stays straight, but the other two start pulling, pulling, pulling. And then when we can't, when they figure out they can't get to the other dog or the person Tilly starts jumping on Ollie's, back and rolling him in his harness. And I'm just like, every time I'm like, what are you doing? It's like, she can't reach that dog. So she's going to take it out on Ollie. And I think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I mean, every time she's, I love it. I love, love, I love dog drama. I love all of that. You, when you told me that you were changing your fire alarm and the dog was just like living her best life, running around, patrolling, barking that I love. I love the personalities of dogs and what they think about like, Tubby when he thought I can't see her. So I, if I die, it's worth it for me to, to even try to get to her. I have to get there. Yeah. And if a human loved me like that, I would hate them. I'd be like, you would think they were emotionally needy and ew, but not a dog. No, I loved just how psychotic it was. I love, I mean, it was so stalker, you know? And it was just, it was like, like, I don't care if I fucking die, I will be with you. And I was just like, oh, and then Josh was mad and everybody wanted to be next to me. And I was like, oh, I don't care if I fucking die. I will be with you. And I was just like, oh, I've still got it. I've still got it. You know, Tubby and Josh and you've been in a love triangle since. the day you got him? Oh, when we went to Mexico last year, just the, the four of us, Tebby, Cha-Cha, Josh, and me. And Tebby is like, he wants to be, he sits next to me. He sleeps next to me. So Josh would get up from like, we'd have two loungers on the beach and Tebby would jump from the sand up into Josh's butt. After like day three, Josh would come back and it was like, Tebby, you are not her husband. I am her husband. And I was just like, all of this jealousy and the fighting I'm living for. All the adoration by the men in your life. I loved all of it. How sick is that? I was just like, yes, y'all fight over me. I love it. I love your style. Kylie, do you have any, any situations like this? Yeah. Judy has now started to sleep between Anna and I. And I don't think it's out of like, I want to be touching both of you. I think she likes to keep us separate. We're worried she's either slightly homophobic or just jealous of our love. And we can't tell. Oh, a homophobic dog. Yeah. It's one of the two. Well, my dogs are racist. Right. Against other dogs that aren't Frenchies. I mean, Cha-Cha cannot stand a German Shepherd. She fucking hates them. On the, a walk over the weekend, we passed two German Shepherds and I was just like, oh my God, she's, she goes crazy. I've seen her do it. It's unbelievable. And it's specific. It's specific to the German Shepherds. I think it's just the history of, right. You know, she's like, look, I'm French. The French were pussies. We surrender. And she's like, I'm not doing that. Not on my watch. She's very learned when it comes to history. Kylie, didn't you say that Judy is your Kylie? I mean, you're Judy's favorite. Yeah. I mean, she's like imprinted on me in, I think like a sort of romantic way. Yeah. You know, like, I just think she's confusing the love a little bit. Would she jump out of a stroller? I think so. To, if you were out of eye shot. Yeah. And I think she only has like three teeth left, but she would use every one of them to kill someone for me. I have zero questions. She would kill someone for me. Yeah. See, and don't you love that? Isn't that just, it's so comforting. I do. I like it a lot. For someone to, for some being, some creature to psychotically love you like that. They're willing to kill themselves, commit crime. You know, take on a German shepherd. I mean, there's just, it's like, and if people had that attribute, I'd be like, well, that person's a psycho, but I really love a psycho dog. I agree. I love an unstable, psychologically unstable dog. I really dig it. That's why I picked her. Yeah. I knew immediately. The crazier, the better. Yeah. I am so happy that I'm no longer buying makeup just randomly at the drugstore. I actually have a plan because I use Jones Road Beauty and everything is so synchronized together. It's great for your skin, effortless, and so easy to use. The Miracle Balm has won a place in my heart. I use it every single day. It is an integral part of my routine. But if you want to get started with Bobbi Brown, you're going to have to move quickly. She makes these kits and in the past five years, all of them have sold out. So don't wait around on this one and let me tell you all about it so you can go grab yours. It's called the Bobbi Kit 6.0. Bobbi Brown's exclusive edit for the season designed to give you a complete effortless look without having to figure out which products and shades actually work together. Inside it, you get the new silky highlighting powder, a highlight brush, the new lip crayon, and the mini Miracle Balm, and the statement mascara. It's everything you need for glowing skin, defined eyes, and lips. And it's just an effortlessly. Polished look. Listener, modern day makeup that's clean, strategic, and multifunctional for effortless routines. For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free full-sized mascara on their first purchase when they use the code HADIT at checkout. Just head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use the code HADIT at checkout. And after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know that we sent you. All right, Kylie, what's going on in the industry? Okay, I've got two reviews for you. Five stars. This is responding to our talk. We had a caller call in about office small talk. Five stars. An office manager always asked me how I was, and I would say, good, just to piss her off because she always said she was well, quite loudly to correct me. Honestly, piss off. And actually, I hate that when people say it's well. You're doing well. I'm very happy. I do say when people ask, how are you doing? I say, I'm well. But sometimes I do say good. I say good more than well. It just kind of depends on my familiarity. All right, one more here. Five stars, too bad. And Wright said, Steph says, real missed opportunity and not naming the Christian period pregnancy tracking app, Mary's womb. I love that. Love it. All right. I have a new story. That we have to dive into. Katie and Stephen Miller have started throwing lavish parties in their home in Washington, D.C. And for everyone to know, they did have a house. And then some people wrote with rainbow chalk, like immigrants are great and put rainbows and sunshines. And Katie and Stephen Miller were offended by these messages of radical acceptance towards refugees and immigrants that they felt like their lives were at risk. So they moved to a house on a military base. So she started throwing these lavish parties. And the Daily Beast has some really juicy reporting on this. So the title of the article is, pop this up, Can't Stand Her. Embarrassing Reason for Katie Miller's MAGA Party Exposed. And here's an excerpt. Katie Miller is hosting lavish parties at her home in MAGA Utopia because she and her husband are not in a relationship. And Katie Miller is hosting lavish parties at her home in MAGA Utopia. Katie Miller is hosting lavish parties at her home in MAGA Utopia because she and her husband are not welcome in public, friends have revealed. The MAGA podcaster and former Department of Government Efficiency Advisor, 35, has been pulling out all the stops to entertain Donald Trump's inner circle, according to Vanity Fair. Friends of Miller and her husband, White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Homeland Security Advisor, and the world's ugliest, most unfuckable man, Stephen Miller, 41, said she began hosting lavish parties at her home in MAGA Utopia because she and her hostility that greets high-profile Trump officials around town. But this hasn't made her a hit with all her guests. With one invitee admitting to the magazine they still can't fucking stand her, despite the hospitality. It goes on to say, the Miller's parties have so far attracted White House staffers, law enforcement officials, and cabinet members. Guests have included the Rubios, the and FBI Director Kash Patel with his fiance, as everybody knows, super-duper patriot, Alexis Wilkins, country music sensation that nobody's heard of. The magazine described parties featuring sake-squirting hibachi chefs, a mechanical bull, backyard pizza trucks, and bartenders serving cocktails. One of her children's birthday parties included a petting zoo with donkeys and other animals. Not everyone sounded quite so enthusiastic about the hostess. I'll say I love her publicly, but the truth is I can't fucking stand her, one longtime Trump ally told the magazine. But if she asks you to go on the podcast or come over for dinner, you say yes because Stephen Miller is the second most powerful person in the world. And all of this perhaps reminds me of Raphael's venture when he went to the United States and he said, and I believe it was the New York Times, had all of these sources, and these were people that were going on the trip with him, neighbors, and they all threw him under the bus and they all hated him. So even the people in Katie and Stephen Miller's inner circle, here's a direct quote, I can't fucking stand her. So more corroboration that our reporting on this, this podcast and our other podcast is always bullseye, spot on. Here's the thing. It surprises me zero that everybody in her inner circle, and my guess would be they hate Stephen Miller too. I mean, that would be my guess. But here's the thing about these two people. They have been hated their entire lives because they are horrible, awful, mean people. And all the parties in the world, isn't going to cover the steaming pile of dog shit that those two leave in their wake. And here's the deal. You're cowardly if you're still in the Trump ally world, you know, I get all you're super cowardly. But even the people in the Trump ally world think that she is the worst of the bunch. So you've got all these just absolutely gross people, that are sitting around conspiracies, crimes, corruption, all the things, as alleged by everyone on the planet. And they are still, I mean, Katie Miller is still the worst of that bunch, as judged by that bunch. That says something to me. In Katie's defense, and this is going to be a rare moment that I'm going to defend Katie Miller. Oh my gosh, what? In Katie's defense, if you had to marry, fuck Stephen Miller, all right? You had to marry and fuck Stephen Miller and breed and procreate and then have four of these creatures with whom you've mixed your DNA with. And you're living in a military base and you have signed on to just the most embarrassing group of pathetic idiots that are running the country. If I were her, I don't think anybody could stand me either. If I had to. If I had to go sleep next to Stephen Miller and hang out with Elon Musk and I worked with Doge, I think I would, there's just nothing redeeming here. But the Katie Miller and the Stephen Millers and like, I love this, the guests, the Rubios and the Hegseth. Here's the story that I want the next article to be. Katie and Stephen Miller, internally, you know, they're launching an inquiry into who said. I can't fucking stand her because this is what I think happened. I think Katie Miller read it when she wasn't binge watching Grey's Anatomy, counting how many gay and black people were in it. And she was like, I can't fucking stand her. You know, it's probably like Joan Crawford, Mommy Dearest. And so then she's like, I want to know who, I want the full force of the United States intelligence to tell us who said they can't fucking stand me. You know, she's got a burn back. You know. Yes. None of these, all of them do. But here's my thing. And I'm willing to do this because I am devoted to being a podcaster and to our community. You're going to go fuck Stephen Miller? Fuck no. I'm going to go on to the Katie Miller podcast and I'm going to see who all the guests were. And then, because obviously they said specifically. Oh my God, you're right. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go through, I'm going to get a list of podcast guests. That's brilliant. And then I'm going to give us the top, next time we convene, I will give a top five of who, you know, I'll pick out like, obviously Elon Musk. He's not saying that. But, you know, you say, it says who was there. I know that the Hegseths have been on the podcast. So, I mean, I'll just give, and then we'll circle within the community. And try to figure out who the one that went on the podcast taster grabs. It's one of your best ideas of the calendar year, Pumps. Yeah. I'm writing it down right now so I don't forget. Because I will forget if I don't write it down. All right, Dementia Deck. Kylie, write that down. That is, we'll do our own reporting. We will do our own reporting on the matter because you're exactly right. There are breadcrumbs in this Vanity Fair article. We will be able to crack the case as to who. And it could be a male or a female. Either one. Either one. And we need to get to the bottom of it. I love it. Is it Cheryl Hines? You know, like. Cheryl Hines. Okay. All right. Kylie, before we begin the next part of the episode. Yeah. This is the part, listener, where we have instructed you all to go to your smart devices. Click video camera. Hit the reverse. Where it's filming your face. Leave us a minute and a half, minute. Not too long. If they're too long, they're not going to make it on the pod. Short, quick, you know, little bit about yourself. What you've had it with. Why you're voting. Why you're a great person. Why you're a shitty person. How you feel about socks. How you feel about Katie Miller. Just, we like seeing the faces and voices of our community. We have had some problems since we started rolling this out. We've had some issues with our production and on-air talent, and there has been some confusion at times about preparation for how many of these videos we can load. So before we move forward, Kylie, do we have a sample? I didn't get any. You've got no videos. I forgot. No. I've got nine. I've got nine videos today. Nine. Okay. One question. Yeah. How many of them say how gorgeous you are and how wonderful you are? I don't remember any. Oh. We'll see. Okay. It's so ubiquitous at this point. I just don't notice. It's just part of the video. It's all over New York. Yeah. That's all I hear about. Have you seen Kylie? Everyone's talking about it. You are really pretty, though, Kylie. You are gorgeous. Yeah. And so sweet. Thank you. Yeah. And you know, it's so great to have that young skin. Remember that, Pops? God, no. I mean, barely. It is the farthest. I remember it. I'd wake up and I'd think, "You didn't really have to put on that much makeup. You didn't have to put on that much makeup. Or lotion. Yeah. You could just roll. Yeah. You could just. Yeah. I miss it. All right. Okay. I'm excited about this first one. Okay. So we read a review a couple episodes ago from Lindsey, and she said what she was going to be for Halloween. I don't know if you remember. She's followed up with a video to show you her. Is it Big Titty? No. Yeah. You'll see. Okay. Here's Lindsey. I'm going to be a little bit more of a big titty. How would you feel. How would you feel if the President of the United States said he wanted to wipe out an entire population? How would you feel if your husband said because he's famous, he can grab them by the pussy? What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do to the black pilot? I remember explicitly, she was going to be Jennifer Welch impersonating Erica Kirk for Halloween. Then she had our. That's so good, Lindsey. I love it. I love the spirit there. I love her. That's a great fucking listener right there. Yeah, and technically savvy, because she put her lips and your lips all at the same time. Yeah. I mean, I couldn't do it. She lip synced. Yep. I know, but there was. Yeah, but it was all matched up. I've seen bad lip syncing before. I've done bad lip syncing. Right. What was that. Remember "Puttin' on the Hits," "Puh, puh, puh, puttin' on the hits?" "Puttin' on the hits." Do you remember that? Kylie, you're too. And it kicked. You kicked. It was a show, and it was called "Puttin' on the Hits," and it was a lip sync show, so like "American Idol," but for lip syncing, and the theme song was it, "Puh, puh, puh, puttin' on the hits?" Yeah. It was great. Because it was like a take on "Puttin' on the Ritz," or whatever that was. I know "Lip Sync Battle." Oh, that was a great. Is it the modern version? I loved that show. That's the modern version. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. Back in the day, it was, "Puh, puh, puh, puttin' on the hits?" All right. Okay. Up next, we've got John. Hey, Kylie, Jen, Pumps, Seth, and Ryan, John from Tallahassee, Florida here. I'm Jen X, and I don't. I've never had any venereal diseases, but I am a recovering Catholic. Anyway, I just got done doing my civic duty. Yay. Oh, my God. And fuck you, fascists. Yay. Anyway, I have, and I had it. Okay. Inevitably, because of the way I look, whenever I show up at a place like the polls, for instance, or to get my oil changed, usually some MAGA-presenting twat refers to me as boss or boss man. What the fuck is that about? I'm not your boss. Anyway, I've had it with that. Love you guys. Keep up the great fight, and we're going to win this thing. Love you. Oh, my gosh, John. We love you back. He's the best. I love you throughout twat. I mean, that is just. That's a great win. That's a great. I love him. John, Tallahassee, that is important voting because we have Angie Nixon in Florida. Yeah. She is just an incredible, incredible candidate. To say I'm obsessed with her would be an understatement. I am laser-focused on. I'm constantly clicking the polls, trying to watch how she's doing. She's running an incredible campaign. She's running against a woman, Ashley Moody, who stole $10 million. This is what I love about Angie Nixon. She's DSA-aligned. People will say, "Okay, so you're DSA-aligned. Do you want to abolish prisons?" She goes, "No, I don't want to abolish prisons. I want my opponent to go to jail, and I want my opponent's husband to arrest her and send her to jail." Which is the best comeback. It's such simple messaging, and it's so good. She's just such a good person. It's like when you have certain people you're around that just make you smile because they just emanate this bright light. Angie Nixon is one of those candidates. God, Florida. Yeah. She's further behind in the polls than some of these other toss-ups, but God, it would be so great. We have got to get Floridians. John's leadership is helping a lot there to go out and vote for Angie Nixon. Yeah. I love the MAGA presenting. Here's the deal. the MAGA presenting caught me. I live in Oklahoma. So if I see people that are MAGA presenting, I immediately think, I hate them. So I got seated at a restaurant with these two gals, boomers, that looked exactly like MAGA people. And would you believe that they are sitting there bashing Trump? And we were all going to eat lunch and go to the no kings, but they called it a voting deal, like a get out the vote situation. And I was just like, you know, that's what you get. That's what you get when you just immediately start hating somebody. I'm going to start waiting until they say something. Delay hate. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to just hold my hate in abeyance until I know, because this was just a huge pleasant surprise. We're in our hate delaying era. Don't get it twisted. We're not going soft. We will still pound haterade with reckless abandon. And get intoxicated on it. But we will delay hate until we've confirmed that you are a fascist. And then once you're a fascist, it's, I mean, full speed ahead, pedal to the metal. I probably won't delay my hate on men that are MAGA coded because they're like a slot machine. They are just always, always, always. I'm very rarely pleasantly surprised. You're going to hate in advance and then- I'm going to hate in advance for men, but I'm going to withhold on everybody else. I support it. All right, Kylie. Okay. Next we've got Casey. Hi, Jen, Pumps, Kylie, and everyone else. I've had it. My name is Casey. I live in Utah. And the reason why I'm voting is because I've always been a blue dot in a red state and I'm never going to fall victim to the propaganda that my voice doesn't matter because it does. And I have a message specifically for Pumps. I grew up Mormon, went to BYU and went on a Mormon mission. So here are some tips on how to get the missionaries to stop contacting you. It is very hard to get them to stop contacting you. There were only, a few people that I taught on my Mormon mission that we put in our contacts as do not contact. And it's because of something very serious that happened with them. But a few ideas to help you get the missionaries to stop contacting you are saying something about having an abortion or being trans because those two things require special permission from the Mormon prophet to get baptized. Otherwise, good luck and I love you guys. She's right. I'm a trans man that just got an abortion. I just got an abortion and I don't know what to do. Can your church help me with some money? That is so brilliant. And also, I have to admit, and I know you share this with me. I mean, one of my favorite guilty pleasures is Mormon fuckery. Oh, I love it. I love it. Love it. I love blasphemy and I love Mormon fuckery. Like those are two of my just guiltiest pleasures of all time. If you go over to TikTok and you go to like Mormon talk where they go and they interview the BYU students, like, would you rather have a cup of coffee or kill a puppy? And they're like, Oh God, it's wild. It's, it's, it's so wild. And then the soaking and all of the stuff that they have to do. And there's, you know, they're, they're doing like fucking armpits and stuff. It's, it's just, that was my great stuff. When they call me to say, Oh, okay. Before I let you go, I was just wondering, I have always heard about soaking and here's my understanding of soaking. Can you elaborate on that? And Oh, wait, wait, wait, before you go, is it true that you fuck each other in the armpit or the armpit, the elbow, the knee bend, and that you've trans, I mean, you've had a sexually transmitted disease in those spaces because you don't have true intercourse. And I am trans and just had an abortion. I'm recovering from it. That's why you caught me at home. So that'll be my next tack. Talk about, have you heard from them since we last recorded? No, I've not heard, but I think she's right. They're going to, I'm going to roll back again. You've got to, we need this, we need evidence. So you're going to have to just, yes, you're going to have to say, hang on just a second. I really want to talk to you. Can you call me back in 10 minutes? And then call. Yes. You need to make sure that we have, or if they come to the door, you need to say, give me 15 minutes. I've got, I'm in the middle of something, but I desperately want to talk to you. I need some help on an issue. I need, I need some help on an issue. And then they come in. I would even invite them in. Oh, for sure. I mean, I just, I need, I don't know if it's religion that I need or what, but I am, am trans and I had an abortion and I'm much considering voting straight Democrat all the way up and down the ticket. Do you think there's any hope for me? Any space for me? I have no interest. I will always be trans. I will always get abortions. I'll always be trans. I'll always get abortions, but I am open to having sister wives in your community. I might move. Specifically. Yeah. I like it. Okay. Kylie, who's next? Okay. Next we've got Clara. Hi pumps, Jen, Seth, Ryan, Kylie. Kylie, you're beautiful. I'm a lesbian. I am Jen Zee and I am voting for this midterm cycle all the way from beautiful, sunny Sweden, thousands of miles away. If I can do it, you can get off your lazy fucking ass and vote. Um, but let me tell you, this country is a socialist hell hole. It's just disgusting. I mean, if this happened in the U S oh my God, let me tell you, first of all, went to go get my anxiety because what American doesn't have anxiety and it was $7 without insurance out of pocket. Um, that's disgusting. What if they were giving me the wrong thing? I would so much rather pay $20 copay with my thousands of dollars of insurance in the U S I mean, that just seems so much more fair. Second of all, my coworker just left for her year long maternity leave where she gets 80% of her salary. Um, and that's what, why are they keeping women out of the office? They should be snap right back to work. I don't understand. Why are they promoting people to sit on their ass and be lazy? It's crazy. I mean, socialism just, it's disgusting. I can't believe it. Um, yeah, I love you all. If Fox news, you're watching this, it's fucking sarcasm. Bring on the socialism rules here. Love you. Bye. Okay. Great, great points across the board. And I just do want to point out for the listener, the Scandinavian countries are the most atheistic countries and they have the highest reportings of happy factor. Um, and there you heard her talk about how they are valuing a mother who just had a baby and making it easier for her to stay at home and care for her baby. And then also if you have, uh, uh, a need for medication, they make it easier and accessible. To get medication, which I would think that that would be something religious people would value, but bizarrely in the United States, uh, religious people value helping, um, corporations. That seems to be a Christian value in the United States is we want to help corporations. Um, but as your point about Fox news, so I've been going like gangbuster wild, crazy on right wing lately. They are like totally watching. I'd like to welcome all of our new listeners. They're like watching us like a hawk because you know, the Epstein files stuff, back up again, blue tsunami. So they're coming after us, but I'm always just so shocked at how dumb the MAGA world is. And I, I shouldn't be any longer. The stupidity has been so ubiquitous and constant, but they don't understand. MAGA doesn't understand metaphors. They don't understand. There was a video where Jim Acosta and I were on my book tour and I was like, we need to investigate every one of these people, even Baron and Tiffany and the audience laughs. They don't even understand jokes. And so then I get online. It's like podcaster, Jennifer Welch wants to prosecute Baron and Tiffany. And I'm just like, okay, first of all, podcaster wants to prosecute. You should have realized right then and there podcaster cannot prosecute, but they're just such bad faith actors on top of the stupidity, which just exacerbate exacerbates the bad faith. And so with that being said, I would like to give a warm welcome to the Fox producers and all of the new right-wing media people that watch our podcast. I thank you for it. And they link the entire episode, which is really great work that y'all are doing for us. Truly. Maybe you'll be the thousand little paper cuts. Here's the deal, Jennifer. I think you're not ambitious enough because you're saying a podcaster can't prosecute, but Kash Patel was a podcaster and now he's the director of the FBI. So you just never know what's going to happen. Yeah. But I will, I will always maintain that is the problem. One million percent. When people say, Jennifer, you should run for office. I'm like, that's what got us here. Right. I am not a politician. I shouldn't run for office. There are people that are really, really, really experienced and a lot better human beings than I am a lot more selfless than I am. And those people should be running. And so, um, Anyway, I love Scandinavia. I love the intro. intrigue with the right-wingers and watching our podcast. And I want to welcome them with open arms and trans and abortion wishes to everyone. You know, one thing, and trans fairy dust and abortion, fairy dust for everyone to everyone, the witches, the witches over it. I've had it. The witches of I, I hip, I want to, I want a Ouija board. I have, I used to love the Ouija board. So fun. I used to love it. You know, I was, I'm pretty sure it's Norway that teaches empathy classes up through third grade to their population in school. I think that's, what's going to take, I mean, we're going to have to get back to valuing empathy. I think that was just an aside that was probably unnecessary. Sorry. No, I mean, it's, it, that's where we are that we have to, because the right wing has said empathy is toxic. Elon Musk has said empathy will destroy the Western world. It's, but again, the right wing's worship of stupidity and worshiping stupid people like Elon Musk, who is a dipshit extraordinaire of the highest order, who, by the way, I've been doing a little investigation on his hairline. He used to have super receding hairline from imagery that I found on the internet and now it's full and he has a nice full head of hair. Okay. So as you see viewer on the left, we have a balding, much thinner Elon Musk. Much thinner. And on the right, you have a full head hair, Elon Musk. And so all I want to say to this is Elon, I support you having gender affirming care. I support it. I think you look better with the hair. I genuinely do. I think that was an improvement and I support gender affirming care. I don't support anything else about you at all because it would, it would be better, honestly, since you're such an evil villain to have the bald head, it would go along better with the whole affect of it. But it's always the people, he's the one going running around James Talafrico and all of this shit. And you know, he's the one, he's the freak. Yeah. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay. Up next, we've got Denise. Oh, pumps, Jen and Kylie. My name is Denise. I'm a Canadian fan, long time listener. I'm a Leo, I'm a millennial. And before I share my grievance, I just wanted to say that usually I am very triggered by blonde haired, blue eyed, white women. And I've been listening to your podcast for a while. And I love that you ladies will contradict yourselves. You'll keep yourselves accountable. And you are serious, but you don't take yourselves too seriously. So for me, you ladies are some safe whites. Thank you. Okay, my grievance. I have had it with people who have zero awareness of their surroundings. My husband and I took our son to the pumpkin patch the other day, and there was like an entrance slash exit. It wasn't very big. And a couple of folks had decided that the best place to have their conversation was right in front of the entrance slash exit. Like, you can't feel people's eyes burning through the backs of your head to move out of the fucking way. You really thought that the best place to stop and have your conversation was right in front, of the fucking entrance. Yeah, I've had it. I completely agree with her. This is just a huge, huge, huge problem. And apparently it's international. Yeah, the shit's going on in Canada as well. So my God, it's a problem. It happened to me at the gym yesterday, these three gals, I needed to like sign in my card, you know, like flash my card to the deal. These three young, they were young, high school college age. We're standing right in front of it. And I said, excuse me. And they just kind of looked at me and just took a step over. So I just barged, like there were three of them. So there was a little space. So I just walked through and did it. They never quit talking. Like they never, like normally if that, and I'm guilty of that. If somebody says, excuse me, and I look around and I'm blocking someone, I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, and move. No, not them. They were just on and on and on and on. Here we go. And I have, I've seen a lot of pumpkin patches and every time I think, I'm so glad my kids aren't so little that I have to go to the pumpkin patch this year. That's just a me issue. You know, I have to say, I kind of enjoyed going to the pumpkin patch. I enjoyed some of the cheesy shit of, of momming, of parenting. I kind of enjoyed some of that shit because it was an activity that we did together. It's like at the memory. Yeah. And then we, we would, we would carve our pumpkins and I, I quite, I, and I really I always, I love Halloween favorite, uh, uh, holidays. Sorry. It was one of my favorite holidays. All right, Kylie. Okay. Um, up next we've got Carlos. Hi Jen. Hi pumps. Hi Kylie. Carlos here. I'm 23 years old. Jen Z from the state of Georgia. Um, I have my awesome percentage shirt on. I am ready for the midterms because, I am ready to see this MAGA regime completely implode on itself. I am so tired of waking up every day and seeing news headlines about ice killing unarmed citizens. I'm tired of seeing people being deported to countries they're not even from. I am tired of seeing women in red States die because they do not have access to healthcare. Um, I'm tired of our tax dollars being sent to Israel who is committing war crimes. Against Palestinian people and Palestinian children. Um, so I'm excited to vote in the midterms because I am ready to see the democratic party come back into full swing and service people and not corporations. As far as who I want to see go to jail first, I think the answer is obvious. Stephen Miller. He disgusts me. He is the personification of a herpes sore. He is racist. He is a white supremacist. His wife also equally disgusts me. I mean, who complains about Grey's Anatomy? It's ridiculous. Um, yeah. So Stephen Miller, I would like for him to go to jail first. And as far as who I want on his jury, I think there is no greater Patriot and greater service person to this country than the only fan slash cam model who exposed Brian Gnome, AKA Crystal, AKA Big Titty Brian, um, to the only fan slash cam model who exposed him. You are a Patriot and your country thanks you for your service. Um, keep up the good work. Jen and pumps. Love you guys. What an impressive young man. Impressive. I mean, if I am that child's mother, I am going to be like that is going to be on my grid pinned. He just made such a delicious, uh, uh, uh, fair black and white case. This is why these people need to be defeated. And then when you just think it can't get any better, he continues to outperform himself all the way to the very tail. And what a, you know, like Gen Z, I, I, it's easy to be, uh, uh, whatever generation you're in and be dismissive of a young generation. But I've been reading a lot about Gen Z and there is something happening globally with Gen Z. And you see the, in Brazil, the protests and the movements that really catapulted Lula to beat Bolsonaro was youth driven. Um, you see in Serbia, that was a youth driven organization. And I think that you have a generation where the boomers and life expectancy is much, much longer than it ever has been, which is a great thing. So all of that wealth is being hoarded at the top Gen X. That's going to inherit that wealth by the time they inherit it could be 60, 65. And so you have all of this. Money concentrated at the top and all of the wages are being exploited. All the labor is still happening down here, but you have these wage exploiters and labor exploiters up at the top. And this generation who was raised with these cell phones, these social media platforms in the era of like worshiping wage exploitation, and they are fighting back and I am here for it. Like I am loving the, uh, Gen Z uprisings in France and, uh, other countries. And I have been watching this early voting shit, like a hawk and Gen Z is turning out in any sort of from 24, any sort of Gen Z went red. They are completely backtracking and saying, no, thank you. And they are going cobalt blue. Well, and you know what I was thinking about when he was talking, when he said he was 23, his entire life. I mean, not since he has been aware, say like 10, 11, 12, Donald Trump has been in the spotlight. Like I think about that, like this despicable human that treats people so badly has been in the zeitgeist and on a screen every day since he was 13 years old. I mean, that's just, it's pathetic. It's pathetic as all get out, but I love our videos. Kylie, thank you for preparing enough. You're welcome. I appreciate the episode preparation that went into that, but listener, you need to do your part. And you need to send in videos, because I love seeing the face of our community. Please, in the comment section, tell us if you voted, what your plans are to vote. Tell us what you're going to be for Halloween. And buy my book. Not Today Fascists is important because not today is going to be happening soon with the midterms. And I want to see, I'd love to see some of these videos come in of people in Halloween costumes, like the person, Lindsay, I believe her name was, at the top. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to see some big titty Bryans. I'd like to see some stuff going on. And subscribe to the channel, like, leave comments, do all the things you're supposed to do and vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote these fucking fascists out of power because they suck and they need to know they suck and they need to feel it and they need to be incarcerated. Yeah. All right. We'll see you all later. All new holiday drinks are now at McDonald's. Like the Frosted Cranberry Splash with Sprite, the Red Bull Frosted Cranberry Energizer, and Cookie Butter Coffees. Tis the season for seasonal drinks at McDonald's.