131: Keep it Kosher with Raanan Hershberg | Soder Podcast | EP 129

Hey everybody, the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour might be closed, but I'm still on the road. I'm still a stand-up comedian. We're taping the special in June. I got a couple shows that I'm going to be running through to, you know, get it nice and there. Nice and right where we want it. So come check me out. First, I'm going to be at the Omaha Funny Bone, May 15th and 16th. Got four shows, bringing Brendan Sangello. That's going to be a blast. May 6th I'm going to be at the Avalon Theater for Netflix as a joke. We're doing a movie watch long. We're watching a very fun JLo movie. It's already been approved. My guest is a very cool guest. It's Tim Dylan. May 6th Avalon Theater, danceorder.com. May 15th and 16th, I'm going to be at the Funny Bone in Omaha, Nebraska. Four shows to really finish Titan in that hour before we film it in June. I got Sangello coming with me. Four shows, Omaha Funny Bone, May 15th and 16th. And then New Jersey Performing Arts Center. I'm going to be there June 5th. Friday June 5th, it's the last time I'm running this hour before I tape it. Go get tickets at danceorder.com. I'm very excited about that. Also, little surprise shows in June. June 1st and 2nd. If you live in Key West, Florida, go buy tickets. Because I'm coming down to Key West. On Monday, Tuesday, it's random. But it'll be fun as hell. Danceorder.com. I'm going to make sure those are up on danceorder.com too. Just go danceorder.com, fun. See you at Netflix, it's a joke. I'll see you at Omaha, and I'll see you in New Jersey. I like junkyarding jokes. Because when you junkyard a joke, you can take a line from a bit that worked. But the bit didn't work. Yeah. But the line worked. And then you take it out and you put it in another joke that works and you go like, "Well, it's like a spark plug." It's all a junkyard. Every hour is just like a couple survivors of a platoon strung together. Yeah. You know what's funny? It's the illusion that this is what you always intended to be. Yeah. Even though there's so much like things that don't work yet. You have no idea how patched together this is. That's the illusion, right? It's like, it doesn't look like that. Well, the illusion is where I'm just talking. Yeah. We're just having a conversation. Yeah. Like, I was saying that about Ollie Cedique. That's like one of my favorite things about him. He's like a guy where you go. Those jokes look. He's got that black hypnotism. Yeah. It's just, you know what it is? It's just like. I've seen white dudes that have it too. White dudes, Yannis has that. Yannis can like. He's talking. He's doing bits, but you're like. Are you on, by the way? Yeah, we've been on. We've been on, okay. All right. And I just. I forget the. Yeah, the old marriage, like, recording, you know? Yeah. I feel like they're not doing that as much anymore. We're just rolling? Yeah. I. Here's the deal. I don't have a premise for my part. Yes. And I also. Why I like doing this show is because I get to hang out with comics that I like. That's how I do it. And then I just hope that people that like me like them. Yeah. That's all this is. That's all this is. Yeah, it really is. It is like a play date. I love podcasts. Yeah. It's a podcast play date. I love doing podcasts where they try to explain to you the premise but it's just every podcast. But they try to set it up like. So with this, you can just. We'll just talk and you can just take it wherever you want. Just, you know, it's just a conversation. Just go wherever. And you go, that's a podcast. That's a podcast. That's not a theme. Oh, we just want to make it like a thing. And just like if there's a joke and you want to like commit to that joke, just do that. And if you want to rip. That was like morning radio. Bob and Tom used to do that where they'd go bring in five of your bits. And we'll lead you into it and you go, I'm just funny. Yeah, yeah. I can just be funny. You know, we can just hang out and I'll be funny. But there are some funny comics who aren't funny. I would say it is 70/30. 70% of comics are actually funny. And 30% of them are like mathematicians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they just work. It's like autism, yeah. And they're like very serious. I mean, you can be a great comedian. I saw an interview with Woody Allen where he was like, people meet me and they think I'm funny, but I'm actually miserable. Yeah, yeah. You know what's funny, man? It's like, I've seen Woody Allen movies. I understand people think he's a genius. Yeah. I don't get it. I've never been a big fan. And I don't know. That's definitely okay to say now. Well, no. Back in the day, I want to shame you, but I can't do that anymore. Back in the day, I'd be like, you don't know comedy. Can I tell you what? It's like, I feel like a drunk that got through a car accident. I'm okay. I'm okay. Back in the day, I would have been like, you don't know comedy or anti-Semitic. But now I've got to be like me neither. You know what I'm answered. But my thing is, it just missed me. Yeah. It's like Zeppelin. Zeppelin missed me. Yeah. I got into my 30s. I listened to the, or my late 20s, my early 30s. I listened to Zeppelin and I was like, that's really good. Like Woody Allen. I listened to his stand-up. Very funny. Stand-up's very fun. Incredible. Yeah. I'm a male Brooks guy. I grew up with male Brooks. Yeah. My sense of humor is based on male Brooks is like that. When I just watched the Judd Apatow documentary. Yeah. I was like, it was, I was like, hooting and hollering at the TV because it got me so excited. You think about male Brooks? I love male Brooks, too. And there's a great interviewer's male Brooks where they ask him if he's friends with Woody Allen and he goes, no. Nobody's friends with that guy. You see, that's what I mean. Like, the fact that everything I watch about male Brooks, I feel like I feel, there's a part of me that goes, oh, I'm disingenient. I, I, a lot of my personalities just know Brooks. Well, he is also just, I, in my heart, I relate more to Woody Allen as a, like, he got, I'm actually got into comedy because of Woody Allen. Yeah. And I got into comedy because of male Brooks. Right. But male Brooks is also someone like, I would so much rather be that person. Sure. He's such a better person. I always liked his comedy because there was, and they say this in the documentary and finally, like, they put words to it. It's based on love. Yes. And it's like, there's a lot of, it's just very loving. Yeah. It's like, he talks shit about people when he makes fun of people. But you know, the base level is like, I really always enjoyed the warmth of male Brooks. Oh, yeah. And joy and fun and, and also when I read Richard Pryor's autobiography and he talked about writing that. And how he wrote for what's it called, the big, the big house, but he wrote specifically on blazing fattles for that he loved writing for the manga. Yeah. Manga. He's the one who wrote, yeah, Manga's part of the, he wrote that line. Yeah. Yeah. You think he's writing like the, the line. All the words. Yeah. And it's like, but that was, you know, that was male Brooks. In the documentary. Yeah. In the documentary, they even, they, they, Mel said that he goes, Richard was very enamored with Mongo. I think he connected to the sadness because Richard Pryor, there's such a sadness, you know? There's a, I mean, you read that biography and you're like, this guy had the worst childhood I've ever heard of. His, his, his first memory of making people laugh is slipping and shit in his front yard and he just did it again because they laughed. Yeah. Oh, it's so, you go, oh, there's the hardwired. There is. Well, it's in his act too. Because he walked in on his mom blowing a local politician, his mom really. And then I ran a warehouse. Yeah, I know that. Yeah. And his dad was like, you know, like, fuck her and like, but he wasn't like, he should have been like, well, you lost my vote, sir. Yeah. I won't vote for you, sir. No, but Pryor was like the absolute, to me, example of the alchemy of like turning absolute shit into funny stuff. Oh, yeah. Because he was just so fun. It's the best community of all time. In my opinion. The only reason I would put Chappelle about above them is because Chappelle has had more hours of proof. I think with your prior show and Chappelle show or even, I think live in concert 1978 and killing them softly or even. Now, I think live in concert to me is bad. I mean, obviously killing softly is great. I don't know, man. The live in concert starts and doesn't stop. True. They're both like two. They're both like top five. Live in concert has moments where he dials it in and you go, this is the greatest thing. The story of his dad having a heart attack and fucking at the same time is like one of my favorite bits of all. It's also like, um, kind of really quickly, do she really promote my special, sorry? Yeah. I mean, we're going to put the link in here. Oh, all right. Well, never mind. No, I feel like an asshole. No, if you go watch Ron on special, it's morbidly Jewish, morbidly Jewish, if you can't tell his Jewish, she's Jewish. She's morbidly Jewish. Sorry. But no, do the whole, yeah, link. Okay. I never, yeah. I just, I'll get it. Yeah. I don't do it. I go on, like you're on her spurs. It's a radio show to promote my special. And I'm just talking about dildos and fucking and I'm like, I never brought it up. There's no need. Yeah. Well, absolutely. And I'll do it at the end, too. I'll really make sure if they stay to the end, I'm really going to promote the fuck out of you, especially. But, uh, um, yeah, I mean, live at concert when you watch it, you're like, I don't even know. It's like transcendent. Stand up. It's like a one man show in a way. It's like some of it's just like pure physicality. It's wild. Comes out with the light still on. He surprises everyone, which everyone thought Louis did first. Yeah. You know, that's a richer prior move. Number two, everyone thought Louis did first. That should be the name of like a lot of our era. He writing an hour once a year, George Carlin never did that. Did Carlin do it once a year, pretty sure, because I know that's a, that's some British shit. Yeah. That's like Edinburgh. They do it once a year. I have a fucking thing. Yeah. And they have it all connect, which is crazy. Yeah. Maybe work on it two years. Yeah. It's always my advice. Formula. Yeah. But Burr, Burr had a great quote where he said it should be at least two to three years. because you're a different person. You like grow enough in three years that you're a different person. - It's true, but I guess I've been doing once a year, but really? - I got nothing else going on. (laughing) - Well, that's not true 'cause you write shit and you do a lot of other stuff, but what, you do once a year, you have an hour? - A little, a year and a half. I'm the first person to do that. By the way. - Ron, I did it first. Oh yeah, Karlin did 10. I know he did 10 HBO's, but well, he did 14. Look, some of these must be out of book. Oh, these are HBO's specials. - These are 14 HBO's specials. - Yeah, I think it was once a year, I think. - Maybe that, yeah. - The life is worth losing one is the seconds last one. That was the one that came. - The one's where he starts rhyming. You're like, maybe it's time to retire. (laughing) But why don't he come that as Dr. Seuss? - Did you watch the documentary about him? - I did it. - I'm gonna tell you right now, all you need to watch as a comedian is the last 15 minutes of the first episode. - Really? - There's two episodes. And the whole first episode is about his early life growing up in Harlem, him being in the armed services, him kind of finding his way. He starts doing comedy, he's silly. And then it goes through his first big push of hippy-dippy weatherman and all the fucking things. And then it gets to the 70s and it ends with everyone shitting on him for rhyming. And they're like, they show S-E-C-T-B egg fun of them. - Oh really? - Where he's like, I've heard a green beans. - Why can't they be red beans? - Oh, but that's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Never seen blue and blue, but why? - Blueberry's blue, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - And it's rhythm or anus doing a really funny impression of bearded. - No, I don't want to act in ham. No, I don't want to. - That's exactly it. - And then it shows, it's Cheech and Chong are talking about it. And Cheech has a quote where he goes, man, fuck George Carlin, no one gives a fuck about him. And they start, I'll give credit to Appetow on this. The way he directed it is great because it starts doing that thing where it shows criticism, shows another one. And then it starts doing that thing where it goes fast where it's like, you see all the criticisms. And then it cuts to George Carlin's notebook. And he's like, I'm going to prove all of them wrong. Like, I'm going to show them what's up. And it's like a ramp up that it shows Bill Burr and it's like interviewing Bill Burr. He's like, yeah, me and my friends were going to go see him at the '80s. And we thought we were going to go watch a washed up dude. We were like going to make fun of him. And he's like, and then he comes out and he's a fucking howitzer. Just like that, that, that, that. And it's like, dude, that part. Like the anger from getting attacked. Yeah. It made him too angry to rhyme anymore. Yeah, it was like, I don't care if the one's going to. But I watched that in a hotel room and I was ready to run through a wall. I watched it like after a Thursday night show at a club and I was like, it's fucking incredible. Well, people always, like, people become legends and then you think their whole career was like just on me up. And it's just not true. There's so many moments where people are like, he's done. Yeah. So many moments where people are like, Stephen Spielberg's done. Yeah. Or like whatever. You know, the Spielberg thing, when he did Schindler's list, everyone was like, what the fuck are you doing? You make fuel good moves. Yeah, exactly. He's like, well, I'm a Jew and I want to make a movie about the Holocaust. They're like, all right, it's fun. But they were also like, I don't think people are going to like it. Yeah. It's like one of the greatest movies of all time. And it's just like an incredible move. And that there is. There's like a lot of-- Everything, every writer, Hemingway, like with a drug washed out at times. It's like, but then when you look back, you're like, oh, they're a legend the whole time, you know? Well, that was my thing with, you know, kind of a hacky thing. But I really liked Hunter S. Thompson when I got to college. What's that? And I liked his writing. Why is that hacky? Because it was hacky because the other people that liked Hunter S. Thompson liked him because he was a drug addict. Oh, no, no. In fact, his drug addict kept him from being a-- That's a great writer, yeah. And like, Douglas Brinkley, he used to run his like-- Yeah. He liked-- I think it's like the executive of his literal-- literary estate or something. I used to-- I used to be super in Hunter S. Thompson's writing. He's great from my hometown. Yeah, Louis Wilkittucki. And-- Fear is his clay. Yep. I think Fear and Losing Love's Vegas is like one of the top five funniest books of all time. And he had a lot of other great books. I would say his best book is Fear and Losing on the Campaign from 1972. Where he has an affid flashback during-- He's like writing about-- He's like on the plane doing journalism from the president. And he's like, oh, shit. What are my affid flashbacks? I think that's the best book about modern American politics. I love that book. It's fucking phenomenal. And if you read it around an election cycle, it holds up in a very spooky way. Yeah, no. Because he says, basically, like, if you want to get elected in this country, you've got to bash the other guy and be on apologetic and be unethical. And he's like-- Because there was the other guy who got-- he was actually a really good politician when they found out he had mental-- It was McGovern's first book for Vice President. He was, I think, the governor of South Dakota. And it had been proven that he had been institutionalized and had an electric shock therapy, and it ruined it. And he was like legitimately good, like a legitimately good. Yeah, he had, like, he was aligned with McGovern on a lot of his policies and they were running it. What the thing about Hunter S. Thompson is he starts to do in cocaine in the '80s and his writing goes to shit. I know. The drug thing, it's the opposite of what people think. Yeah, they go to heroin. He was trying to bump up on drugs. And you're like, no, man, this is a guy that, when he was a kid, would read on his typewriter-- Pipe out Hemingway, yeah. To hear the rhythm of the kids. And you're like, that's a guy. I fucking, I've always loved. Like, there's just something about his sentences. When I read them, I just get excited. There's just something so cool. The way he writes, I don't know. It's hard to explain, but it's just nice. I would say for anybody that hasn't read, that if you don't want to read fear and loathing Las Vegas or on the campaign trail, Hell's Angels is great. But I would say, look up the book, Generation of Swine, 'cause he's on cocaine in some of it, but he's still got his fastball. So he's like writing a lot of stuff. He writes about Reagan a lot in there. And you're like, ooh, this guy-- I think I've read that one before. Yeah, it's great, it's right behind you. It's the yellow back. I don't know why, but I just love the way he uses the ampersand, you know? He smashes an ampersand. He's really just, he fucking loves it. I just love it. Every time he has it, I'm like, it's so cool. But I also feel like-- And he is for fucking squares. Yeah, he's like, why would I use a fucking amp? Like a bitch. Well, his thing was always, he said, F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote the perfect book in The Great Gatsby, because it's so concise and it's so short. So he was struggling to get fear and loathing in Las Vegas down to the shortest he could, because he wanted it to be as concise as The Great Gatsby. Wow, yeah, no, I mean, it's a fucking amazing book, and it's so funny. But then when Hunt has Thompson's talks about that, like, you know, he had a showcase of the drugs. And it's like, yeah, you should also look into more how fascinating the character, the person Oscar Acosta was. Oh, that lawyer? It was the lawyer, because he was a Chicano lawyer from LA that was like in these streets, like he was in these streets, like the street gangs, the Latin street gangs were like down with him. He was a lawyer, he'd get these guys out of jail and shit. I just remember, yeah, I know. And he was scary. He was a baby, yeah. He was like a big, he called him the Big Brown Buffalo. He was like, fucking scary dude. I just remember his one line that I've always loved in it, where they go to like a drug conference. It's like some kind of police. And he's like, that was, that was the business. In Los Vegas. And he's like, we felt like we have the drug, like the junkies or whatever, should have a voice in this meeting or something. I forget the line, but it was so, it's such a good thing. Yeah, that was this, 'cause the first part of fear in Los Vegas was him going to cover the Mitt motorcycle race, like the 400 first sports oil string. Right, right, right. They hired him and then it just became a disaster. Yeah, yeah. 'Cause he went to Vegas and did a bunch of drugs, and then when he sent it into Yon-Wenner at Rolling Stone, Yon-Wenner was like, this is unbelievable. Yeah. And he would just like, fax and you would just fax. It feels like notes, like it's precise, but it feels like you're reading notes. And there's such a, it's just very present. Yeah. Like it just feels so real. Yeah. And it is, it is one of the funniest books of all time because it is both really funny, but also just like you know it's happening. Yeah. 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That's 20% off additional prescription pairs when you go to W-A-R-B-Y parker.com/soder. Warbyparker.com/soder of course. Here's the thing about Hunter and Stompson that I think got misconstrued to younger generations. He's not being an asshole to be an asshole. No. He's being himself and almost wedging himself into places and going this is just who I am. Yes. So I'm gonna do weird shit to you but he wasn't going out of his way to like attack people. No. He was just fucking with them if they came into his proxy. Yeah. If he came around him. And he's making fun of himself. He's kind of like a clown and quite a bitch. Well it's like I'm an idiot. You know I ate all my cantaloupe. Yeah. Great fruit. Yeah. And if I mean if you go read his first Gonzo, I mean Hell's Angels could be argued as his first Gonzo. Well the thing about the Kentucky Derby. That's the first fear of the Kentucky Derby. Yeah which was where he discovered his style. Well and the first time your work is Ralph Stuttman. Yeah. Yeah. Ralph Stuttman came out and he just a British guy that's like what the fuck is this. And he's like talking about and you know because you're from Louisville. He's like oh everyone thinks the Kentucky Derby is this high society thing and he's like animals. That's what you want to show and the way that Ralph drew it. Forget if it was for Harper's Bazaar. Forget which magazine it was for that he wrote that. But you see the original illustrations. Yeah. He nails it. He nails what I like about Ralph Stuttman is. He nails the the monstrosity of very wealthy people. Yes. He really nails the like. Oh he's incredible. He reminds me like you see like YMAR art like German art like where it's so grotesque. Yes. And just like all the decadence in people's faces. Yeah. He's what Ralph Stuttman. Yeah he's one of my all-time favorites. And if you watch that documentary in hearing him talk about like meeting Hunter and like. Yeah. Because Hunter Thompson's wanted to shoot guns. He's a big gun guy. Yeah and they brought it up. There's a New York Times article that just came out about was his suit. I'd like you know. I read the article. I got sent it because my friends know I'm really in the Hunters Thompson. And my friend Vic and my friend Jason sent it to me and they were like have you read this. And I read it and I stopped the midway through because I was like you can't trust any piece of media now. Well what was it saying? I don't know. He was basically saying that his wife his second wife Anita didn't really trust that it was soon. But his son was going like. Of course. He loves Hemingway. And also agreed. It's really rip it off. He also talked about it. It's an homage to Hemingway. He talked about it a lot. The reason I the reason I put down the article and was not interested in it was because of his suicide letter. That was the most Hunter and Thompson thing. Of course. This is gonna hurt or something or this whole season is over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And no more. No more. No more pain. Yeah. Because he said that was the most that was when after the Super Bowl was when he was always the most depressed. Yeah. Because he didn't have football because he loved football. And what I loved about Hunter and Thompson was he was a 49ers fan because of his time in San Francisco. Oh. And then he liked the Denver Broncos because of his time in Aspen. It would be nice. And he was a gambler. But in a real way. Yeah. He wasn't an app gambler. Yeah. Yeah. He was a I'm gonna put money down. I need the rush. Yeah. Yeah. I need to fucking I need to skin out the game. That kind of shit which I respect. He definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like it's like when I started reading it and they were like talk about his ex-wife trying to get this weed strain approved and like how she still lives in Woody Creek and she'll rent it out to Airbnb. And I was kind of like. What did they try me like? What do you mean? Like a weed conspiracy? No, they're trying. It just sounded like she was trying to drum up business to sell stuff on it with his name on it. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like when his son is like, dude, my dad killed himself. Why do they? They always have psych conspiracies about people where it makes 100%. Like Kurt Cobain. Yes. They're like, maybe it wasn't. It's like every song's like a side. He's like. I want to kill him. I want to kill him. I want to do it with the shot. Oh man. I think it was I think it was Courtney or that love. The only time super conspiracies I think are right. And this is because of big J on the bonfire. He thinks the hand yourself on a door knob is auto erotic. A fixation and they fucking fuck up. You think that's what he was doing in prison? No, I think he was murdered by the government. I think he was killed either way. Which is the most the most I've gone to a conspiracy theory because I'm very against. You think you might have been. I still think you're gonna. No, I think he could have committed. I'll tell you right now. He definitely wasn't happy in that situation. No. He also had a lot of information. He did have a lot of information. That's the point where you go. You really can go both ways. I see I could see him getting murdered though. I don't believe. I just don't believe anyone has a competence to do it and get away with it. I certainly don't believe Trump. Yeah. Can do it and not like talk about it in a tweet. No, he would bring it up steam today. He would bring it up in a way for as a bag. What? I just put it on true social. I don't go out leaning against the frame of the Air Force one and he go, well, I killed different. He said that. He, uh, Epstein would, to me, would make sense that he killed himself because of the loss of power. Because a guy. Yeah, that guy like that. That's all of his shit is like control. I would tell myself if I was in his situation, then like, I don't know, man, because I like the idea of just blowing people shit up. I'm just being like, I'm gonna rock your shit. But if you're like a narcissist and the whole world hates you and you're about to have like judgment. Yeah. Like, it's definitely an option in that, you know, 100%. I mean, that's the thing. I just think like, I feel like, but murder it could possibly be. I still think, even that I still think like it's probably suicide. I guess I just think incompetence really destroys most conspiracy theories. Yeah. You know, and so it's just not 11 being an inside job. There's no way that it would. But you can't complete a full sentence, but it can complete 9/11. The only way I can see it being, the only reason I can see conspiracy theories working is if they, like, don't tell Bush, if it's like one of those things, like what they've been doing with like alien technology, where they go implausible, that deniability, the people don't even know, like how like the government has parts of the government that the government doesn't even know about. But it goes like we control all the technology that foreign alien. You know, yeah, because Trump would bring it up. I guess maybe they hit all the Clinton. Yeah. They're all nurses. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To be a president, you have to fucking love yourself. But my issue with conspiracy theories is that eventually you try to get there and you can't make it sense all the way. So you throw in Jews at the end to finish it off, you know. Well, you got glue that holds together conspiracy theories. Yeah. You guys are, you guys really are like slapstick. Yeah. For, you know, like, yeah, we're the cement. You know, he puts it on and he goes, stop leaking just Jews. Yeah, it holds it all together because you're like, well, what about this isn't? Well, that doesn't make sense to Jews. You're like, ah, I see in a world where I'm undereducated and not in the comedy or if I believe that a lot more. For sure. Because it always blew my mind when I was younger that I didn't see a lot of Jewish families with drinking problems. That was one of the first conspiracy theory that I noticed. We get tired when we drink. You guys did this thing. It's all my parents, all my mom's friends that were Jewish would do this thing where they would have two drinks and go, oh, that's, that's enough. It's very accurate. And all the other gois that we knew were just fucking pounded. I think that's where anti-semitism started. You see Jews have self-controls and you're like, that's what I mean. And the self-controls. You're dealing with money, you have self-controls. That's what they're doing. The banks don't explain the fucking thing with the gois. You think you're better than me because you don't get drunk and lose all your money. Fuck you, you Jews. You guys took down the towers. There's truth to that. No, I believe it. There is a sense of responsibility. Like, yeah. If you think about it with money, you go, well, I'm going to save a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go, why are you saving it? Blow it all. You're talking. The goi is just like thrown in the money way. Yeah. Because the thing that I talked to Louie Katz about that we laughed about is I always said, my friends that were Jewish were always very horny. Oh, yeah. And I said, why are you so horny? And Louie, Louie Katz is one of my favorite human beings on earth. Yeah, yeah. Because he has this number one. He's a hilarious comic. Great human being. But he has this thing where he isn't a yes man. Where if you say something to him and he doesn't agree with it, he goes, he pushes back. He goes, I don't think that's true. I mean, honest. Yes. He's honest. I've been talking shit about people. We've been having dinner. And I've been talking shit about people. And he goes, I don't think that's true. And it'll stop me and go like, yeah, maybe I'm fucking, I have personal feelings. I know I do my own horror, but I feel like I kind of similar and have people not like me because of that. Even if someone says a movie, they like like that. That's like that's even that'll break. That's where I tell you I got. But I choose I choose honesty. I get a real - Look at conspiracy theory on this. - I choose honesty over people liking me. (laughing) - I admire that, I admire that in a way that as a people pleaser, I admire that quality, as much as I do people that go to the gym consistently. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't know how the fuck you do that. - Yeah. - I did it for a little bit, and it's very hard. - Yeah. - It's very hard, but I asked him, I was like, "Why are all my Jewish friends horny?" And he goes, "Cause we don't have shame attached to sex like you guys do." And I was like. - Very true. - And he said that. - Very true. - We were at the Sacramento punchline. - Yeah. - And it was like a light bulb went off in my head. And I was like that makes so much. - Because with original sin and Christianity, you're guilty with your thoughts. - Yes. - And Judaism, you're not guilty with your thoughts. And Judaism, it's actually about the deeds. - Sure. - And to the point where you don't even have to have faith, you just do the deeds and the faith can come later. - Yeah. - So we don't have this like, we don't have the shame. Yeah, I don't have it. - I really don't. - It really is insane to me because I've always had, I've had every nut in my life has had shame. - Really? - In some way. - Now, are you Catholic? - No, but my mom was. - Okay, yeah. - I was raised a Piscopalian, which is English Catholic. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Which if you don't know was only created so that the King of England could get divorced. - Yeah, yeah. - That's true funny. - The only reason why he did it was like. - Yeah, just don't have to get rid of this bitch. - Just a religion over getting rid of a bitch. - And I've always, my friends that are religious, I know a lot of Catholics, very good friends that are Catholic. I respect their faith. If you're Catholic, I totally agree with it. I don't believe in organized religion. - Yeah, yeah. - At all. - Yeah. - It doesn't make sense to me. - Or religion, yeah. - It just feels like a story you're going to buy. It's like going to a store instead of farming. - Yeah, yeah. - It's like, you're telling me if I can only buy lettuce from fairway and that's the true lettuce. - It's kind of like religion's kind of like a bunch of schizophrenics having an agreed upon delusion. Like, most schizophrenics are just alone, and they just have their vision. It's like schizophrenics working together. - It's unity and schizophrenia. And then they go, this is right and you're like, but that was written by a man. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause that was the questions I had. My mom was excommunicated from the church 'cause she got divorced earlier. - No way. - Oh wow. Which is the whole point of the thing with the divorce. - Well, this is, she was Catholic. - Oh, Catholic. - She was Irish Catholic. - Actually, then that makes sense. - Yeah, it makes sense. I'm gonna turn my fan on 'cause it's getting out of here. 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(laughing) - It really is a mooch. - Yeah. - We were just in the middle of talking about religion. - I was watching a movie and someone texted me that Robin Williams died in the middle of the movie. I mean, they didn't know I was watching it, but I'm like, damn, I really shouldn't have looked at my phone. - I was going to Coney Island to ride the roller coaster. - When I got out of the roller coaster, my friend, Jolly Owens, texted me and he was like, I don't know why he was coming to himself. And I was like, what's up? I was about to get on a roller coaster. - Do you know what weird that is? To be sad on a roller coaster? (laughing) - When they're like watching roms and legs and I go, - Even at the end, Robin Williams stealing from Richard Jenny. (laughing) - Oh! - Richard Jenny. - Richard Jenny was like, gun, though. That's like, what a way, he went out. - Don't fast check my joke. (laughing) - Very well, Richard, what's his name? Um, Richie Redding. - Yeah. - He's marrying a Jew. I was on stage. I'm like, the Jew on the show last night. He goes up before me. He pulls a full Tim Watley. He talks about his marriage and Jew. All Jew jokes. So, hold tight. - This is what we were talking about yesterday. - All Jew jokes. - The Tim Watley thing. - And holocaust jokes. He literally, they were good, they were good, too. He was like, my wife the other day, she was like, yeah, we have a Jew in the oven. I'm like, you're not supposed to say that 'cause she's pregnant. - Yeah. - I fucked up that joke. But she's pregnant, whatever. I really fucked that joke. - That's so funny. - Can you edit that, so I think you're pregnant. Watch Mike's editing skills. (laughing) - I'm like, he's doing Jewish jokes. - And holocaust jokes, and I'm like, the Jew on the show. - You go, that's my stuff. - I'm like, what the fuck? - We were talking about Tim Watley, where Kate said that. - Is it the same? - Does it offend you as a Jewish person? No, it depends on you. - His opening fee, and it was very funny. He's very funny. - Comedian writings to me. - He's been on the podcast. I love it. - I am, I am joking. - Fuck you. - You used to open for cat waves. - Oh, did he? - Like, not a little. - I guess now he can do black jokes. - Yeah. - He opened for cat, will he? - You see him once, he's like, "Ten of these motherfuckers, these Jews are out here." - He's doing cat, doing Jewish material. - His opening joke. - I can't believe I'm Jewish, dude. - Alright, I know, okay. His opening joke was like, who's like, "Yeah, we're raising the kid Jewish, "because I did not have the energy to argue "with the pregnant Jewish woman." - That's great. - If there's anyone you can't want to argue with, it's a pregnant Jewish woman, I'm like, what the fuck? That's a good joke. - It's a good joke. - Yeah. - He's fucking, then I had to go up. I'm like, frankly, I'm married to a Catholic, so I could just do Catholic jokes. - That's fun. - I'm not fucking works now, but-- - Is your wife Catholic? - Oh, she was raised Catholic, yeah. - Do you see the, it's weird about Catholics is 'cause they still, even if they're not Catholic anymore, they still, it's in there. - Yeah, yeah. - It's in there until the day they die. My mom is still like, Easter is fucking huge for me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how's that something you really, you know, it's, you learn that a young age is hard to afford. - This is the same thing about the sexual shame Jews don't have hell. - We don't have hell. Yeah, I mean, it really is like, you go, if you were to put monotheistic religions out there, as far as the one I go, talk to me about the one without hell. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, hell is, you can't mix your dairy and your meat. (laughing) Well, now we're fucked up. - Hey, I'd choose, I'd choose not believe in hell over in cheeseburger. - Well, I didn't know what, I didn't know what kosher was, and my first job ever was at my friend Adam's parents owned a kosher bagelery in Denver. And I was 13 and they're like, yeah, you can work here. He's working the back with like the dough and stuff and bringing in, and then I got a lunch break, and it was my first lunch break at my first job ever, and I walked across the parking lot to Burger King and got a double whopper with cheese, and I was about to walk in, and one of the guys that worked there went, what's in that bag? - I hope it. - Double whopper with cheese, and he went, this is a fucking kosher. I was outside. I was like, in the back, in the walk in and he goes, you can't bring that in here. Because you bring that in here, we gotta get a rabbi with a flamethrower. Seriously, a flamethrower, a fucking bless all the ovens, and I was like, can I just wanna see that? I was brought to Cheeseburger and to be like, - Salt, you go get your boy. I wanna fucking tell him to fire up the flamethrower. - You know why you can't have a mixed milk and meat? - Why? - Honestly, it's 'cause it's perverse, and which kind of makes sense. Cooking an animal in the milk, and it's mother's milk, that's what's in the butt, it's fucked up that we do that. - That is crazy. - You're killing it, a cow, and then eating it with the milk of that cow's mother. - That is wild. That is wild that it was the Jewish person that went, little fucked up, I don't know. You guys think it's a little fucked up, and they go, yeah. - That really is what it's about. They're like, you shouldn't don't cook meat and it's a mother's milk, they're just kind of perverse. - I took a theology class in my freshman year of college or whatever, and they were talking about how a lot of these beliefs in religion were because they were like, people were getting sick, and they had to write muslims, it was the last monotheistic religion to be made, and they were like, the pork thing was probably 'cause people were getting sick eating pork, so they're like no pork, no alcohol. It was like making people have a problem. - It was all just, yeah, I guess health issues. - Yeah, they're like the COVID vaccine. - Exactly, we're just putting this in and they're like, no pork, and then it just held for thousands of years. - And then suddenly Christianity came about. - Well, I think it goes to Judaism, Christianity muslims. - Oh, muslims, yeah, 'cause they're funny, 'cause it feels first, doesn't it? - Well muslims, the thing that they don't get credit for is they acknowledge other massage. - Yeah, Jesus and Moses are both prophets. - Both prophets in the Muslim religion, where you go. - Oh shit. - It's kind of funny, you're like, they really collect, they really bring everyone together. - They were trying to hit, until they don't, until they go, everyone must die. - Everyone must die. - It's not on the surface, very bad, 'cause we need to go. - Well, why are you guys trying to kill all the infidels if you're also acknowledging the infidels main dies? - Yeah, you know, it's a, (laughs) - That's what I was, what's interesting to me is like, I respect people that are religious, 'cause I know, well, you can commit. - Yeah, yeah, it's a commitment, yeah. - It's a commitment, in a way, that's what I'm saying, like my friends that are Catholic, I know they go to a church on Wednesday and Sunday, and I'm like, it's just like, I mean, the reason I don't, I wanna, I'm just boring. - It's all boring. - It's just so boring. - I just have to go with my mom, and it was. - I'm basically choosing, oh, I'd rather not have meaning in my life to just not be bored. - Reappearance, did they draw, did they want you to be like, - Yeah, I kept kosher, till college. - Really? - Yeah. - What was the first non-cosher, what'd you break with? - I've talked about this before, but it's, it's, so I had chicken, which is just, It's uncursure, but it's not. Prepared right you know me with coach. You have to be cut with a shit to knife It's just nice. It's really sharp. So the animal supposed to die painlessly even though damn you guys really do think about the animals We do but it doesn't but the problem is the kind of the problem is religion is that now that is not the most Humane way to kill an animal so now it's like some machine. Yeah. Just cross your body of our damn it, right? But we still are doing what you mean like If I weren't in a slaughterhouse, it's all out there. It's so funny It's just a dress like that. They go funny if it no country like what he does that say the guy's like are you just doing two face for Oh, brother, I read it. I read the pope comics. It's just two face. It just feels like Karmacarthi just didn't know about two faces Yeah, it's so like what a comics doing a bit that he doesn't know another comic has to beat him He just you know that guy does that bit you go son of a car. She's like I got a new villain. He gives riddles out He's 16 year old lover goes. You know, he bad man We are son or bad chopper guy. I love the character from no country, but that is very much it's too face like But so yeah, so she did knife was you man, but now it's not you know him You really throw some on that So I I had chicken and it was a big deal. It was college was I had a piece of chicken or a couple pieces Whatever and I woke up the next day with a cold sore For real. Yeah, and I was like, you know, I assume there's guilt. I assume God What was it? I think it was psychological guilt that led to a cold sore So when you ate the chicken you know what else are you to push you on a loose woman? Yeah, but so when you ate it Were you like I felt there I go. Yeah, like I'm not shameful about sex, but I was shameful about eating chicken Honestly, I'd take that trade Take that shameless nuts versus going like You get a cheeseburger, but you get hell and and and being ashamed every time you have racks every time I'm squeezing that out I go oh am I I don't feel guilty about masturbation at all, which is interesting I used to feel a lot of people a lot of guilt of it. People tell me they do I have friends who have actually have done the no-fapening or whatever it's called Yeah, and I'm just like by the way those those boys are just trying to edge as much as possible That's just straight up beauty. Yeah, yeah, you're not you're not fucking above anybody Well, you know, it is was like master like because I've you know, I friends are like, yeah You like who think they're sex addicts, but then they're also like you're probably a sex addict, too You don't realize it not that I do anything like that, but just just I don't know just thinking about it Just enjoying sex, but in my head, I'm just like masturbation even if it isn't addiction. It's a healthy addiction. I think it's well I don't know how I mean physically it's not bad for you. I think it is the equivalent of Devenaming a snake when they take that when you see it where they put the glass and the venom comes out You're just devenaming you don't have to shoot up a school. Yeah, or you're not harassing a comedy club waitress Yeah, exactly you just sort of like when you have empty nuts, right? Louie never jerked off and that's why this happened. Yes, and that's why you should have been doing it Then it came in way more even headed, but there is something to be said about like doing it and being that's why like I think a lot of comics are surprised when they find out that every comic gets to their hotel room in jerks off Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're just devenaming yourself. You got it for the city Well, I'm a visitor here. I should probably take the venom out of me jack it off It's like after you jack off you're kind of like oh, that's stressed about things anymore. You also go who's that guy? Yeah, I'm always like what the fuck was I going to I know there is I yeah, I don't feel shame, but I do feel that like Your yeah, Louie talks about like your back to reality, and you're like it's like kind of like coming to at a car scene a car traffic accident Yeah, it is how I used to feel when I would Get drunk. Yeah, and then I wake up and I got like who was that? Yeah, that wasn't me and then that's how you get when you're like super horny Right, fucking then you and then you masturbate and you go, but you know I haven't like a pretty strong libido cuz I'm yeah, I'm a Jew but yeah got that heable of me that heable of beads So like I think jacking off is bad if you if you then are having sex with your partner later and you can't fuck Yeah, that's that's what's the fuel yet the fuel you're wasting your seed, but I can usually still fuck that's crazy So it's like it's not an issue to me in fact I have enough libido I think I can be a sex addict and fuck my wife consistently. Yeah, that that would be to me to the point where I go That's might be too much. Yeah, yeah, because I think in my early 20s I was like that my my 20s and then as I hit my late my late 20s I started being like it was also coincided with me quitting drinking Mm-hmm because when I quit drinking I got like super horny. Yeah, and then it it Disappaid it like within the year. I started being like back to normal I mean, that's strong as it used to be, but I'm still I always like I think I would have had a higher libido if I wasn't so shamed about it Yeah, yeah, probably I think I would have felt more inclined to be like this is a good it would have made me go Indo it instead of going like well. I like my problem, right? Is this a problem? My I think most guys either if they have sexual problems a lean towards either like coming early or not being able to get it up Sure, I always lean towards coming early, which I always felt was like a sign of a libido. Oh really? So turned on. I always took it as a sign of tenderness That you're like I'm so tender. I'm so tender So tender. Please kind of gentle. Yeah, just such a tender boy But I always think it's interesting where you're like watching How people what people are sensitive towards or what people have shame for yeah to see how they grow up and you go That's the interesting part and yes, this episode's brought to you by better help But that's to me the interesting part of therapy is like following the cord to something and going like like I remember Asking my therapist. I was like hey is it possible that I was molested and I blocked it out And that's the reason I have like a weird time she's being intimate and my therapist was like no You just completely lack intimacy He's like you just need to work on you allowing intimacy in yeah, and you go that's such a less sexy answer Then going I think you got sucked off by your uncle when you were four That's what I was hoping because that's such an easy fix. Well, I think the blocking out thing is pretty rare I think that usually when you get fucked you remember it when you get Yeah, but I do think there are people that block it out because I do think there's a trauma response that goes on my body It's it's the same thing we were talking about with the government about how they just wall off those conspiracy theories right The government's walls off the rest of the government for finding out about it. Right. I think your brain can do that It can people can also have false memories sure. Oh, absolutely. I think that's that's a very big those 60 women Bill Cosby allegedly false memories. We never do that. Go watch the Dennis bit on himself And tell me that man's a really funny would be wrote the fetig him and it just kept on being more more women And they're like eventually defending him became really exhausting Is that lady I think what's crazy about the whole cosby thing is that Hannibal did it or like a riff Yeah, I know like a finished Joe little it was a rift someone filmed and he was like pick up your pants and he goes about all those rate What about those ladies you It was like a yeah, it was just like it really wasn't throw away line. I filmed out of fun the original I feel like there's there's three major comic moments our films There was that bill bird telling everyone to go fuck filly on the virus to yeah Tell everyone to get fuck that big black dicks or whatever when he was on Bobby Kelly's podcast. Yeah, it's like me Nate Lewis and list We asked him about that and he was like I was afraid that was gonna become my thing right like I would go do stand up And people would just fucking yell at me and you'd have to fight back and he did get bigger from that right? But that was a viral so it's interesting because they booed Dom Arrera they proved like a bunch of people before him and he went out like looking for the fight Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's interesting because people bill birds such a pure artist and we we talked shit about people to go viral for something He really didn't go viral for something. That was one of his viral stand up. You have that and then Kramer's crowd work that went Big J and I big J quotes that in the funniest way where we were making fun of someone What if you did that and then he said and then big J hits the line and he goes see there's that word again Yeah, that word and it's like Lenny Bruce trying to like see the George Carlin. Yeah, they're just words. Yeah Pitching nails that exact part of it every time we're all just words A little word George Carlin it is and you and word piece of shit. Yeah, these words Because we do see how Kramer how Maddy gets at Dude when you watch the have you watched the letterman apology Recently the was Michael Richard is Jerry's I owe Richard's and signfolds there. I remember signfold me there I remember the audience laughing and signfold going. It's not funny. Yeah, and I remember thinking I go just try to make it because he comes on and there go this is this is like before the internet's everywhere Yeah, they just go like oh, it's Kramer and he goes. I'm really sorry and they go oh And Jerry's like it's not funny. I always felt it was a little I felt saying that I don't know why I just really rubbed me the wrong way that the audience is laughing because they don't know what's going on And he's like quit laughing, but it's like you're here try to save your residuals for And we won't have to edit this out because I'll never have to bump into him. He was a guy that was when I moved here, I was so excited to like, - Yeah, I was obsessed with the documentary comedian obsessed with it. - Yeah. - That's why Colin Quinn is like my favorite part of that whole documentary. - Oh, it's amazing, yeah. - And I was obsessed with that documentary. - My friend Zach gave it to me on my seventh birthday. - It's pretty genius, they're like who do you get? Who can you cast to make Seinfeld look likable? - Orange. - Orange. - Make Seinfeld look just grounded. - The man, the, when he tells the story about the band landing in the field that stayed at New York. - Yeah, yeah. - I was like, he's the man. - Yeah. - He understands stand up and it was like, I was a comedy nerd, so it fed everything I wanted. I was moving, I was like, part of the reason why I moved to New York City was tough crowd, opian, Anthony, and comedian. - Yeah, yeah. - And like watching comedian, I was like, like I still think about that documentary where I'm in the hallway about to go up at the cellar, and I think about that, like Sherrod, when Jerry walks up in Sherrod's smalls hosting, and he goes, go up, Sherrod goes, you going up? - Like Sherrod's in it? - Very young Sherrod's smalls. - For the first five minutes, when it shows Manny go, there's a certain compulsion I've noticed. - Oh wow, I mean, go watch the documentary. I used to watch it once a year. - God, Sherrod's ball is like 400 years old. - He's like, I remember when he was four years old. - I opened for Mark Twain. (laughing) - Mark Twain's real name is Samuel Cleans. - Oh my God, that's right. - You talking about Sammy? - Fuck, Sammy, I knew Sammy before you went by Mark Twain. - He's been around for a while. - He's in like all these old pictures, like Jack Nicholson and the Shining. (laughing) It's like 1919 and Sherrod. - When I thought Don Rickles did the first open mic, I was like, just kid has something. I was like, first two out of the three marks brothers. You know, holy shit, that's fucking crazy. But that documentary, like, this is how Joe Listen I became such good friends. - Oh really? - Because we would go do open mics and like have beers or whatever, we'd quoted at each other without queuing each other up on it. We'd do the Colin Quinn where he's in the Tuxedo and he goes, what do you do in this weekend, he goes. This weekend, working here. That's like one of our favorite lines. But you know what, you know what Seinfeld says on that, and I just actually really think it's not true. I've learned, Seinfeld at one point goes, even if you're a celebrity, even if you're Jack Nicholson up there after a couple of lines are like, what's next? And I'm like, that's not true. You can be a celebrity on stage. Maybe they won't laugh a lot, but they'll say they love it 'cause crowds are star fuckers. - True. But I push back on that. I think Jerry's right. And I would say. - Pulling a real Louis catch right now. - And he's my inspirado. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do the thing. - I know this is hard for you to do it. - 'Cause such a people please, right? - You're like, you're like, I'm gonna disagree with you. (laughing) - Find your inner power. - Find your inner power. - Come on, Daniel, do it. - You're instinctive to be like, you're totally right. I know, God, what a good point. - Who's back? - You're son of a bitch. - I'm gonna disagree. But I, um. - Yeah, disagree. Madonna, at the seller, she bombed. - Did she bombed? - First five minutes. It's exactly what Seinfeld said. They said, all right, Madonna. And then, and then she fucking bombed. - All right, well I said. - She bombed so bad, Liz wouldn't send me the tape. (laughing) And I said, Liz, I gotta see that set. And this goes, I'm not fucking sending me that tape. And I was like, fair, yeah, it's fair. All right. - I wanted to watch that. And she kept doing this thing. - Let me refresh. A famous man. - No. - No, I'm not going to be wrong. - Well, I saw Michael Rappeper do an hour once and the audience seemed happy. There wasn't anything. - But he sounds like he's a cop. - He sounds like, um. - He does the rhythm. - There are, uh, there are fugazies in this business. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That you go from half of comics. - Well, yeah, from, from a 15 foot, my buddies when I worked in Alaska, they'd call these, it was such a mean thing, but I thought it was so funny. They'd call women 15 foot fake outs. Where you go, like, from 15 feet away, these guys that live on boats. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But they'd go, like, they'd see a woman of the eye, girls hot 15 foot fake outs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you walk up, and in Alaska, it was, it was so funny. - I mean, that's probably the majority of comics. - Yeah, but I'm saying from their act, you go, "Oh, that's fun." - It sounds like it. - Yeah, 'cause they do the, they do the rhythm. - They do the cadence and they go, "Oh, it's probably how a lot of rappers feel." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause they go, "This motherfucker doesn't, "it's kind of getting changed, shit." - But it's just, yeah. - But you, "Hummus is home." "Hummus is home." "Hummus is home." - But they go, "I don't even know if you're wrong." - Yeah. - And it was like realizing how empty this is in that moment. - When Joe Liss became friends with Louis CK, which, to watch in real time, was incredible. - Yeah, yeah. - Because, I mean, we're talking about, me and him and Nate used to sit around and debate, like, "Oh my god," when that special came out. - Yeah. - I remember being at Barcelona bar, having beers and being like, "This joke sucked, this joke was incredible." We're arguing with it. I think me and Nate were team Burr and Liss was team Louis. So we would argue like, "No, this joke for Joe, "literally go joke for Joe." But we were friends and then Liss becomes friends with Louis. And Liss would always say this thing about Chris Rock, where he would go. There's a line in, I think it's bigger and blacker, where he says when you're white, the sky's the limit. And when you're black, the limits the sky. - Yeah, yeah. - And Liss would like, he would give like a speech about it. - Yeah, yeah. - Or he'd be like, "It doesn't, it's the same thing." (laughing) But the rhythm, the limits the sky, and he's doing the Chris Rock thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The limit is the sky. - And it's like, gets a huge laugh. Dude, this is one of my favorite stories. I mean, I don't know if Joe's ever told this publicly. So if I get in trouble, Joe, I love you, and forgive me if you don't start. But I think this is so funny. So Joe's on the road with Louis, and they're having breakfast or something. I forget where they are. They might even be in New York, but they're having a meal and they're talking comedy. And Liss brings this up. This point that he's opined on before that I know he has on the chain, and he brings it up to Louis. And Louis's texting and Joe's like, "Hey, it just fucking doesn't make any sense." And Louis puts his phone down and goes, "Yeah, just texted Rock that you said that." And then he just goes, "You don't fucking text him." "Why are you putting a guy in his room and bring it up?" I thought that was a very loose, like, just listening. And he goes, "Yeah, just text him like she's not having it." And it's not that one, it's like one of my favorite moments. There you go. "Fuck, that would give me so much anxiety." Where I go, "Don't text him." Just police that edit that. - I mean, it's like, laughter is kind of instinctual. So it's like you need the rivet, like it is true. - I think that's why I hated being a people-pleaser so much. I also think that's why my standup was weak until my HBO special was because I was such a people-pleaser that I would do bits that you would get reactions. And I would still kind of know that the bit wasn't finished, but it got a good reaction. So I go, "Well, it's making people laugh, so it's good." And until my HBO special, that was the first time where I was like, "We're talking about the beginning, like junkyarding shit." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This beat isn't good, but there's good lines in it. - Right, well, you have to learn how to crush and then you can make the decision to fucking, you know. - Yeah, because people don't realize, shit can crush, like bullshit can crush. - That's why, I mean, comedy is like the one art form. - Which I really, I really, I hate comedy art. - It's carnivore. - The truth is, it's half an art form and half like a sport. - Cause it's like a scarf. - Carnival behavior, half fear of doing actual art. - That's what I think it is. - Well, let's just say this, it can be artistic. - I think it's best if you can be artistic. - But it's one field where you're just with so many used car salesmen who just, and I just have to like, like fucking Hemingway didn't have to hang out with some fucking. - Oh, some beat rider. That's like, yeah, I don't know, dude, I'm a pulp rider. I'm just making up murderers. - I just write the same poem every week to get pussy. - What are you still working on, you're fishable? - Yeah, it's called Old Man in the Sea. - Yeah, it's kind of a big deal. It's an annal, never mind. - And you can tell it's a shitty field. Cause it's also the only, if it isn't art form, it's the only field where some of the biggest names endorse Trump. - Well, it's also, we're at the point now where stand-up has left its containment area and spread to the point where, I'm sorry, if you're a fan of this podcast and you've listened, you've heard me make this point before, we inherited everybody that should have been MTV VJ, should have been a DJ, should have been a party promoter, should have been a serial artist, should have been a serial criminal's focus, criminals and bad people. Files, you just get people that come in here because they know they can fake it. - Yeah. - And they're still called the comedian. - Sure. - Even though I'm like-- - I knew people that are successful at comedy, right? - Yeah. - That don't like comedy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So I can name over, and again, you know the rule. - I'm the second part of that. - Yeah, if you see me alive, I'll give you names. I will not give it publicly, but if in person, you come to one of my shows and you go, "Hey, you were talking about this, "I'll give you a list, I don't even fucking." - Like imagine-- - If it's off air, I'll give you a list. - It is, like imagine if you're just like, what's it like, you're just like a classical composer and there's another person who's called the classical composer, but all they are is a racist. - Yeah. - They're just a racist. - He's like, "You want to see it, I'm fucking deaf." - I'm still writing music. - This guy's just saying racist things, and he has millions of followers. - He's over watching like someone like that, where it's not even a composer and he's watching, going, "Come on." (laughing) - I'm not even trying. (laughing) - He's like, "I'm a component that I'm with him." I'm just like, "I'm fucking healing him, man." - He's like, "I don't know, he's just like, "it's like the fight of the book." He'd be here like, "Bocker" or something. He's like, "Oh, I can hear it!" Like how we got I think he got deaf and is like 15 but I like how he's he still takes the retort voice Which the deaf voice people took the deaf voice to do the R word voice How big politically correct after We edit that so when you're kissing during a American The deaf voice The R word of voices baked. Yeah for page don't did you go deaf like a month ago? But so yeah, it's just like there are people in our field who are just they're we know comedians And I know these people who go on stage and just say mean things But they're not even funny, they're just mean and everyone's like that's awesome Katie and I were talking about this exact thing yesterday, which is One of my pet peeves is when someone says something Mean and it doesn't get a reaction. They won't I was just joking. Yeah, but you weren't but you weren't until that Yeah, we were talking about you're just joking like when I asked a girl if I want to make a move and she's like no, I'm like it was just a bit But we were talking about the coach of the Denver Broncos Sean Peyton Their quarterback bonix broke his ankle and then it turned out that he had had a broken ankle in high school and a broken ankle in At Auburn before he transferred to Oregon and and Sean Peyton went oh in that case I wouldn't have drafted him if I wouldn't known that And he's like no, I'm joking. He goes. No, that would be like actually meant that shit and then a couple days later He was like yeah, he kind of hid information from me that that ankle was a problem and bonix was like I never hid any information And he's like and I don't think he should have said that and you're like so he wasn't you because he did a thing where you go that is what you believe well It's literally like yeah, like I remember the first time I made a move on a girl I was like we should like make out and then cheap I did and that would have been a joke for you like history and that's literally what Trump is doing with Maybe we'll cancel the elections. Well, it's a joke unless I get away with it. Yeah, it was Obama should have really if you Would have known that was coming Obama doing that would have been funny. He's like I'm gonna fuck every white woman in America It's joking. It's joking. My favorite want to make you all have a black husbands Just joking back to the point of being in a field where you watch people fake it I think that's important because I think that makes good comics more valuable Yeah, and I think we're going through a place right now where people are going. There's so much shit out there And I got there is a lot of shit, but there's a few good comics, but that's what's good about it. Yeah, embrace them Yeah, like blow on those embers. Yeah, fan those flames. No, I really I like having you on here Yeah, you put out great fucking comment. Thanks, man. Morbidly. Oh morbidly So it's because morbidly obese Morbidly kei kei kei whatever it is Morbidly morbidly Just called it morbidly obese Please go watch run on special he is I know he'd talk a lot of shit about people out there that suck He's not one of them. He's a fucking great comic. I mean a lot and I just like Genuinely love this shit and I love people that love this shit and that's always what I want to like Yeah, push is like there are people that grew up watching Woody Allen Yeah, brooks that when they were little they're like I could never do this and you get to do it And you go like how cool is it I get to do yeah? No, I was like sometimes simple comment like you're not funny to me And I and I want to be arrogant, but I just kind of want to comment back. I was like I write jokes like you should like That's such a rare thing my my thing is I've I've have too many tax returns to disagree. Yeah Just go look at tax returns and go yeah you and you might not think I'm funny. That's fine. You don't have to think I'm funny There are a lot of people that do You know what I always think about it is my favorite thing about being funny and what's always got me in trouble at other jobs Was I always like to make it my co-workers laugh and I always liked being a part of the job where it was like a relief Where it was like we were sitting we're waiting tables we're sitting off in the hutch making each other laugh if I'm working at bedbath and beyond We're unpacking boxes. Yeah, I think each other laugh It's always been I'm at the bar having a beer with you I Would say stylistically. That's what I want as my comedy You don't have to be in the break room with us. Yeah, if you don't like it of course Yeah, go empty other boxes. Yeah, yeah, you don't like it move down the bar and have a beer I'm not one of these people that's like fuck you Yeah, you can find something you like and if it ain't mean it ain't me, but I don't need to engage with you anymore Of course not. Yeah, no, you just yeah, it's not worth it Yeah, and there's enough people on the planet. You can just find whoever's there's someone for you When I think about eight billion, I'm like I really should have a bigger fan base like Every time it breaks my heart like there's eight billion people, and I got 20 people to see Yeah, you know realize two billion of them live Where if you brought them a glass of clean water, they get my favorite comment You're my favorite comic and subscribe subscribe your patreon because it's indoor plumbing Your patreon is a bath. Right right right right. Yeah, that's pretty cool But morbidly Jewish is the special the link is in the bio down here of the video Run on this fucking hilarious, and I'm glad you came by. Oh, it's all pleasure. Thanks for having me. Thanks buddy