Just The Guys Talking Ball, Jayden Daniels Drama, National Sports Podcast, Mt Rushmore Of Things You Take For The Apocalypse and Fyre Fest

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We're going to have a loose one. We're going to have a fun one. It's going to be a great show and it's brought to you by our friends at Twisted T. Well, it's officially the Dog Days of Summer and Twisted T is our go-to for cooling down when it's heating up, when it's hot. You know I'm reaching for something nice called Twisted T is the perfect drink for lake days, beach days, backyard grilling, and all the good stuff summer has to offer. Twisted T is a refreshing hard ice tea made with real brood tea and 5% alcohol, full of flavor and very refreshing. Goes down smooth. There is no carbonation, which makes it easy to drink all day long, whether it's hitting the course for around, pre-gaming a ball game, or inviting the guys over for some backyard grilling. Twisted T is always there to keep the good times rolling, grab a refreshing. Twisted T today. Okay, let's go. Welcome to part of my take presented by draft kings. The crown is yours today is fria august 14th and boys it's just us today. Where do we want to start? Let's do a national sports podcast round up. I feel like there's one big story that's just kind of sitting in the corner of this room and elephant in this room that maybe we want to talk about first or we go somewhere else. The NBA schedule is starting to get released. We're getting more rumors of different games and I mean that's the for my money. That's the talk of DC. For my money that is that is the the biggest story. It is the most exciting titlating part of the news calendar today. Okay. Yeah. Anything else? Well, I mean you got a great Mount Rushmore today. Should we what is going on with Jaden Daniels and LSU? All right, so I did a I don't say a deep dive, but I did like a pretty medium dive. You did some reading. I did I did a medium dive. So I read about four articles this morning and I did text a couple people. People that might have some insight into both the legal aspects of sports. What happened? What's what's being what's being said? I just want to say that I'm I want to establish that I'm speaking from a point of authority here given that I read multiple are pretty much an expert and I talked to somebody. All right, so here's what happened. So a letter was sent yesterday, I believe. Arno was sent early August. I believe August 5th, maybe it was sent from a law firm representing Jaden Daniels to Louisiana State University. And the content of the cease and assist letter was that they stopped using Jaden's name, image, and likeness. So Jaden, when he signed his deal with LSU, when he went to LSU, in that contract was that LSU had the rights to use and monetize his NIL for up to 180 days after he's done being a student there playing footballer. So that's about half a year, right? So that was it. That would be in 2024 is when that would have expired. And so now here we are two years later in 2026. And LSU has been using Jaden's name, image, likeness. But maybe the real reason that what does that mean? What do you mean? Like were they? Yeah, they sell jerseys. They sell jerseys. Okay. Like I have a Jaden Daniels jersey that I got in 2025 from LSU. And I did think it was interesting. When we went there, there was no Jaden Daniels stuff in the store, right? I didn't see it in the store next to the tiger cage now. Yeah, they had burrow stuff. But they, I guess they'd been going back and forth about this, but they finally sent the letter. So I think to answer your question, they sell jerseys. They sell jerseys. They sell posters. They put them in promotional videos for LSU football. And they're well within their rights to make money off his name, image, likeness for 180 days after he graduates. So why didn't he stop them at 181 days? So that's where it's like the real reason why they sent the season to assist, in my opinion, is that Jaden was, he was promised that his jersey would be retired after he won the Heisman Trophy. Brian Kelly made him that promise. Brian Kelly then went out and recruited a new player. I think it was like second corner back in his recruiting class. Got him DJ Pickett to go to LSU. And during that recruitment, they said you can wear number five. And DJ was like, oh, okay, that's kind of crazy. Yeah, because I'm number five. I love that. Let's do it. So he gets to LSU. Then Brian Kelly is like, you don't deserve to wear number five. Number five was a Heisman Trophy winner. You have to earn that number. So pretty much took it away after he got on campus. So then Brian Kelly is fired from LSU. And DJ tells Lane, hey, they promised me number five when we were recruiting. And Brian Kelly has admitted, I think you said like, yes, we did, we did kind of promise him number five. So Lane Kiffin is having one of his players who could threaten to leave because he redid his NIL deal. With LSU. He could leave. And now Lane Kiffin's like, well, this guy's saying that we promised him five. I just found out that he did. He was promised five. In fact, so I'm going to, I'm going to keep him happy. And he gets to wear number five. That news comes out. And then Jaden and his representatives find out that there will be a number five. And now the NIL stuff that they had been willing to turn a blind eye to. Now they're like, fuck that. You're not going to make money off my jersey. If you're going to go back on what you told me and give the number, the jersey number to somebody else. So that's where we're at. So, yeah, I think I had a question. I just want to read LSU, because I also looked up LSU's policy. They have a written policy. What? What? No questions at this time? Okay, no questions at this time. Yeah. Well, that's a question. No, no, that was a statement. You asked a question. No, I don't have a question. You said, you said, what max? Well, yeah, but he access nine. That's a question. That's question. Here's the official word on on LSU's website. Under provision of the LSU, Jersey retirement bylaws established January 1st, 2007, the retirement of an athlete's jersey in a particular sport does not preclude a current student athlete in that sport from wearing the jersey number in that or any other sport. So we don't, we don't know, they don't know what retirement of a jersey means. I think that this is going on everywhere where it's like people get jerseys retired and then like, they get some new hot shot and the kids are like, hey, can I wear that number? I want to do it to like, to honor you. And they're like, yes, sure, give the kid the number. Like, jersey retirements don't really mean anything anymore. And in LSU's owned bylaws, it says the retirement of a jersey does not preclude a current student athlete from wearing the jersey. Do we ask questions now? Yeah. I'm going to open up the floor to question. Well, that actually did answer my question. I was going to say, I feel like LSU has a story history of not retiring jerseys and like the best players, you know, the best players wear number seven. Like, they're best players wear the same numbers because they've had some good players. And I think they have one jersey retired. Yeah. Yeah, they've got. So they have one football jersey retired. Jane Daniels won nothing. But things that has been jerseys should be retired. He won a husband trophy. Yeah, but they had. They've had it's LSU. It's three lost team. His defense was like 120th in the nation. Well, I'm just saying it's LSU. It's a storied football program. I'm saying as it has like, there's one a lot and has a lot of history. It's your point. Well, then hey, like Joe Burrow's numbers not officially retired then at LSU, but they will not let anybody wear that number. Yeah, he won't be national titles. Yeah, but they should do that. But they told him, they told Jayden is what I'm saying. Your jersey's retired. Brian Kelly did. Yeah, he was the coach at the time. And the administration day. Yeah. And then they go back on it. Which, listen, I think it's stupid to argue about. And I think that it's a big mistake for Jayden to be pursuing this and to be like, going out your own school. Yeah. That's a big mistake. I'm not trying to say it's a no win for it. It's a no win for him. I'm saying the. - The CEO's a chill guy. - The cease and desist, well, there might be some people. - Uh-oh. - I think it's awesome that his mom is super, super protective. I think that's a good thing to have. Somebody that's like a pit bull rider die in your corner as you make that transition from being a Heisman Trophy winning college quarterback to being a multi-multi-multi-millionaire like global superstar in the NFL. What was that look for? - Whoa. - What? It's America. He's a national, national superstar. - You grow the game, Hank. Roger Gidell has done a fantastic job of expanding overseas. - Do you think it's, could I ask a question? - Yeah, yeah. - Do you think it's a salty bitch move for him to ask for the Heisman Trophy back? He's asking for the copy of the Heisman Trophy back. That seems crazy. - I think that what's happened is James, his relationship with LSU seems to be non-existent. And actually maybe worse than non-existent. Maybe like, what's the word I'm looking for, Zach? - Toxic, deplorable, deplorable. - Hold no. - Toxic. - Toxic acrimonious, I think, is a word. - Chaotic, maybe. - So he's asking for his copy of his Heisman Trophy back. - Yeah, so his school said no. - He's pretty much saying because he felt that he was lied to, "Fuck you, you can't use my NIL." - But again, and all I thought I'd- - My number thing is bizarre. - It is bizarre. It's very weird. - It's weird. - Why does he care so much about the number? Like the number, like retired Jersey numbers mean nothing in college sports. - Correct. - Villanova has the number one retired twice. - They also college football specifically. You need every number because there's double numbers. There's a hundred guys on the roster. - Yeah, I think he just, he looks at the fact that they told him that his Jersey would be retired and he feels like- - But he can, but he still can be retired. - He didn't, well, not anymore. - Yeah, and he's now being retired. - He's now being retired. - That's that point. Yeah, so it's not good. I don't think it's a good thing that he's doing. I do think that his mom is very much, you know, she defends him, she goes, even further. She like goes on the attack for him. And I think it's overall a good thing that he's got somebody that cares that much about him that wants to like go scorch turt on anyone that is like a perceived slate. - This is negative for him though. - I know, this is bad press. - That's what I'm saying. I'm saying it's not a good thing. - No, I'm saying he should be out of the way and let him play football. - Overall it's a good thing. - Overall an adult. - Overall it's a good thing that he's got somebody like that standing up for him. This case, very bad choice. - Bad decision. - Okay, yes, okay. Like way too far. I'm not defending asking for your trophy back. Like it's still weird story overall. Like it's like a unnecessary, why are you even doing this kind of story? Like just leave it alone. - Yeah, it's also weird. The root cause of this is Brian Kelly's a liar. - Which we all knew. - Yeah. Brian Kelly's a liar. That's the main takeaway. Brian Kelly is a liar. - No way. - Brian Kelly. - That should be the headline. - Do you think J. Daniels mom is a problem? - In what way? - I don't know. Like we're in this, he's in this situation. Which is negative press. Ultimately this does not matter overall about like his play on the football field, but it is a negative press thing. Like I think about when Caleb was getting drafted, all the stories were about his dad being like a hover pair and all this stuff, which turned out to just not, I haven't heard from his dad since he got drafted. Like do you think there is a point where J. Daniels got to be like, dude, just let me do my thing. I'm an adult. - I don't know. - Caleb, they actually retired his jersey at USC. - Yeah. - Didn't win a national championship. - Yeah, I didn't say they should. - Yeah, I'm just saying, but they did. - Yeah, yeah. - But they did. So it's not uncommon for Heisman Trophy winner to have their jersey retired by their school. - Yeah. - I think that it's what we're talking about right now because it's probably a pretty down week in the news. It is a salacious story too. It's interesting. I don't think it really matters. I think that it's not, it's sure an effect is playing the field. - No. - At all. - It just sucks. - It's self-injuice. - Yeah. - You're basically opening yourself up to be criticized for no reason. - USC also has a policy where if you win a Heisman they retire a number. - Yeah. - Oh, OJ? - Yeah. - Did they unretired? - I don't know. - I think he's the numbers retired. - I can look it up. - Mike Garrett, OJ Simpson, Charles White, Marcus Allen, Carson Palmer, Matt Liner, Reggie Bush, Caleb Williams. - That would be the Heismans. - Yeah. I mean, I think every Heisman winner at LSU has their jersey retired too. - No, just one guy. - But it's been, they've been retired without having a ceremony for it. It's, that's what I'm saying, like, the LSU jersey retirement policy is ridiculous. - But they don't retire in jerseys. - But they, but they, they do. - They don't have out of their homes. - Yeah, so like they, no one's gonna wear nine. - You never know. - Now I guess you never know. But no one's gonna wear nine. - You never know. - So ultimately, what's in the season to assist has nothing, it doesn't say anything about the jersey number. But it seems like the jersey number is the final straw that's going to completely fracture that relationship between Jaden and LSU. And now since that's been ruined, they're saying you can't make money off my, my image or my jersey. - I think asking for the copy of the Heisman back is way worse than the end, and then the season to assist. That's a crazy move. It's a copy of the Heisman. - Yeah, I, I held it. - That's a crazy move. - I held it. Maybe he, maybe he saw me holding it. - Did you hold the real one? - Oh no, the copy wasn't there. - That was the one that LSU, maybe he saw me holding it in that video, and he was like, if they're letting this guy touch it, you're not taking good care of it. I need, I need to keep it safe. - Okay, what? - I didn't even put that. So Jaden already has his own Heisman. He's asking for the copy back. - That, that is crazy. - That's crazy. - That is crazy. I think that there's a decent chance that reading the news today, Jaden might learn some things about the, some of the requests that are being made in his name. - Do you think he has no idea? - I can't imagine it was his idea to ask for the Heisman trophy copy. - Yeah. - I cannot imagine that. - Yeah, that one was the one where I was like, what? - And that, you're right. That to me is worse in the season. Season is just kind of like, - I think someone would have said like this. - If that's true, and I think that it might be that he did not know about that request. - Then there's his idea. - Then they've got a problem. Then at that point, there is a problem with if it is your mom that's like going to war for you, that would start to be a problem at that point. - You got to basically be like, hey, I need to make the decisions not you. - Yeah. - It's a type of situation. - Okay. - I think we got to the bottom. - Yeah, got to the bottom of it. And also, I think you've been having to fight off the haters. - No, I just, I issued a statement earlier today. I'm in solidarity with Jaden, I'm retiring picking number five in the lottery ball. - Oh, okay. - That's his number. - We can do it. - Yeah. - No, it's retired. - No, we can do it. - It's retired. - So. - See in court. - My stats department sent me a tweet earlier. I'd like your comment. - You don't have a stats department. - My stats department. - It's gas. - The tweet was, "Jaden Daniels is just robin' Aaron with athleticism." The guy from the kid from Game of Thrones. - Who's that? - He was like the little, this guy, this guy. - I don't understand. - Okay, this is the sound stats department. He needs to stop watching TV. - Still doesn't really. - Also, spoiler alert. - I don't know that. - PFT, what number did, what? - You picked five for today's show already. - Oh, no. - Oh, no. (laughing) - Oh, no. - That's the end of the show already. - Well, that's the retirement ceremony. - Oh. - But you did already pick the announcement. - You just said I'm not. - You just announced that no one could pick it. - This time traveling. I can't be hugged responsible for that. - I'm also like 80% sure that you did. So there's a chance that I'm wrong. But I feel like I remember you picked five. - This is too many things. - The end of the show gets a little looped. - Someone picked five and then I picked four. - I know that. - Okay, I probably did. I'd like to apologize. If I do win the lottery ball at the end of the show, I will vacate it. - Wow, that's big. - Okay. - Okay. - How about that? - Okay. - As will all future five selections. - Okay. - It's vacated. - No. - Yeah. So yeah, bad situation. Really kind of a self-inflicted wound. But ultimately I understand that if you have an issue with the university, I don't blame Link Kiffin at all. Link Kiffin's job is like keep this hot shot cornerback happy. Let him wear number five. Keep him on the roster. He doesn't give a fuck about Jaden. Like that's in the past. He wants to win right now. That's how Link Kiffin operates. I got no problem with that. Fuck Brian Kelly. - Yeah. - Well, we all knew that. - Yeah. - This wasn't the moment that I was like, "Oh, Brian Kelly, maybe not a great guy." I thought he was a great football coach. Wait, is Brian Kelly a better football coach or a human being? - Football coach, for sure. - Are you? Yeah, I think so. - Is that a good being? - Is pretty bad. - As a football coach? - Recently. - I mean, he won a lot of games. - But recently. - He definitely is a better football coach. - Right now? - He's a bad guy. - Bad guy. - Right now. - One of the shit-loader games in Notre Dame. One of the shit-loader games in Cincinnati. - Yes, did not like- - But you make the argument that he's a decent football coach. You could not make the argument. - Yes. - He's a decent guy. - The joke, guys, was that Brian Kelly sucked at LSU. That was a joke. - Yeah, but he wasn't. - I was saying he was so bad as a football. - I was saying he was so bad at LSU that the other stuff is actually not as bad as a job that he did at LSU. - That was the joke. - That was the joke. - Yeah. - We got to the bottom of it, thank you. - You're not triggered. - I don't like it. You and you guys ruined the joke by over-explaining. - I don't understand what I'm trying to say. - Okay. All right, next story. Do we have any next stories? That was a big story. - Bears? - Anything with the bears? - No, so what happened was there was a guy, I think Ben Devine tweeted that the bears are gonna change their name to the Indiana bears if they go to Hammond. He now is claiming that he was, like duped to a level that someone was falsifying information to as a source to dupe him. He came out and was like, I've been duped. - See like a big J. - He reports on the bears a little bit. He, what do you mean they were falsifying information? - Here I'll pull it up. He, Georgia Cassie's talking to, there's no announcement. There's basically no announcement. They're like, yeah, we're still working on Indiana, maybe still talking to Illinois. We're not gonna change our name if we go to Indiana. Let's see. So, he said a finalized, Ben divine said, a finalized stadium deal is expected tomorrow with the Chicago Bears landing in Indiana, per source Indiana is so heavily incentivizing the deal as it included name change with Indiana in the team name when the stadium is complete. And then the like 18 hours later we said, retraction, I was duped. The source mentioned here, I now believe to be either fraudulent or intentionally manipulative. Someone went to immense lengths to verify identity for this one post. I've gotten no other info from him. I will not be posting any other information. I believe there will not be any name change. So yeah, he got duped to a hilarious level. He actually DM me said, have you been texting me? I was like, dude, I don't know what you're talking about. - What? - I think he thought I maybe I was duping him. I have nothing to do with it. So yeah, there was like a little scuttle butt about that, but there's basically no announcement. Which again, I mean, Kevin Warren just said, someone asked him for a timeline, and he said his wife told him six months ago, no more timelines. No more, don't say any more dates. So that's the level that they're dealing with. Not exactly high level shit. - Okay, I did see a quote that said that it was the one thing that they care about, that the bears are focused on. - Of what? - Getting a new stadium. - Yeah, I mean, in terms of the bears like Kevin Warren, that's his only job. - Yeah. - That's literally his only job, and he's doing a great job of it. - The bear's sole focus, I guess it was saying their sole focus is just an Indiana. Meaning it's not. - Yeah, in the Arlington Heights. - In George McCasky was talking to the media today, so that's why it's all like, basically how it all started was on Wednesday, it was like George McCasky to address the media, which he does every year during training camp, and then this guy Ben Divine was like, if they go to Indiana, they're gonna change their name to the Indiana bears, everyone ran with it, and then it's been a nothing burger sense. So that was fun. Okay, other stories, let's see, I have a list that I wanted to go through real quick. Oh, Michael Pentax has the greatest ACL of all time. - He's back. - You guys see that? So Michael Pentax is back, and the doctor told him, you have an amazing ACL, you shouldn't have knee problems again. - So confirmed will not be injured, he's got a Bionic Neena. - He's got an amazing ACL. - That you know what that is, that is, that's his surgeon just kind of pounding his chest. Being like, I did such a good job hire me for all your ACL needs. - Yeah, I wonder what, I feel like that's not what doctors say, right? - You shouldn't say there's zero percent chance of re-injury. - Don't doctors normally do a really good job of hedging where it's like, hey, nothing is definite. Anyone can get injured. I can't tell you that this is gonna be good or bad for your health. I can just give you recommendations, and then you make the decision. This doctor's like, dude, your ACL is fucking perfect. It's gonna be a possible thing to guarantee. Like never again when you get injured. Does he get his money back if it tears? - Seriously? - If he, well, unless he rips off the tag. - Yeah. - I don't think he got to keep that tag on his ACL. - The doctor might have autographed his knee before he's sewn him back up. - I don't know if you could trust his doctor. Like if I heard that from my doctor, I would think about maybe pivoting to a new guy. - Yeah. - You go, this guy's just lying to me. - Yeah, this guy's way too confident. You want doctors to basically, 'cause doctors, they hedged constantly for their own liability too. So this guy is just like, no, I'm calling my shot. I mean, maybe if Michael Pentax never gets injured again, this doctor might be the best doctor of all time. He at least has that going for him. Like that is now at stake. - Yeah. - To call your shot on a guy who's head, how many ACLs surgeries is Michael Pentax had? A billion, trillion? - Three, I think. - Yeah, at least three. - Yeah, so close, we're getting close. Okay, other stories, let's see. - There's a big one a couple of days ago in the NBA. - Yeah. - The Lakers got sold. - Oh, yeah. So when I saw that news, I was like, wait, what? Didn't that just happen? - Two years ago. - Yeah, two years ago, Mark Walter purchased the Lakers. - This is a guy, by the way, we brought up his name before because I've been mad at this guy because he lives in Chicago. And doesn't, like part time maybe, I don't know. He, I know he has a house in Chicago and I've always been like, he owns the Dodgers, he bought the Lakers and I was like, fuck, why can't this guy buy all the Chicago teams? I think he's from Iowa. Maybe I actually dodged the bullet because this guy, this is a weird story. - Well, so what happened? So he bought some of the team a couple of years ago then less than a year ago, he got a controlling stake in it. So he became like the number one owner of the team. And then so less than a year, he sells it, he flips it. After he gets under federal investigation. - Yep. The feds were investigating this guy. And then he sells it to Josh Kushner. - Bob Eiger. - Bob Eiger. And it's a deal that apparently came together in the last few days. Like what, I have no idea what could have made him sell this team like so quickly after buying it. But it's very weird. - Yeah, very strange. - So it was, yeah, June 2025, he bought the team from the bus family for $10 billion. July 2026, which is last month, federal agents reportedly probing $16 billion in undisclosed loans tied to his empire. Then yesterday or two days ago, sells to Josh Kushner and Bob Eiger for $12.5 billion. - Yeah. - Hmm, and he owns the Dodgers with all the deferred payments. - Hmm, hmm, hmm. - What are you gonna say, Zach? - I was gonna ask about the deferred money. Are you worried if you're on the deferred money guys? And then now your deferred money guys gonna investigate it, yeah. - Yeah. - You might be like sitting exactly like John Rom, being like, where's my money? - Not getting that money. - Yeah. - But also, you know, for a fact, he has at least $12.5 billion. Because he has sold the team. - But he might also have to pay that money. - About $16 billion, yeah. This guy is still just crazy money. - So, is he gonna sell the Dodgers too? - I don't know. That's what I'm wondering. And also, what does it mean for like the Dodgers? Wouldn't that be hilarious if like the entire, the Dodgers are running baseball gets solved because of this one guy just has a settlement 'cause he's like, I just, this is all fake. - Yeah, that'll be fantastic. - Yeah. I did see by the way, I think it was somewhere in the ballpark of like $275 million salary cap was proposed by the owners in $170 million floor for the negotiations going on in MLB. I don't know, I have no idea how any of this works. Seems fair to me. Maybe bump it up a little more. Maybe $300 million salary cap, $174. - What are the lowest payrolls in Major League Baseball right now? - Let me look it up. - How many are beneath that? - There's got to be a lot of it. - The A's is like 50 million. - Yeah, they rate by the pirates. - All right, so Cleveland Guardians, 62 million, Miami, Marlins, 76 million, White Sox 82, Washington Nationals 84, Rays 89. Like these are well below the 176. There are, let's see. If it was 176, so they must have done it based on averages because it's exactly 15 teams are below the average for Major League Baseball's $177 million and there's 15 teams below it. - Okay. - So yeah, I mean, I don't know, wouldn't that make sense? - Yeah, I don't know, I don't know like what the other numbers that are thrown out there have been. I don't know if that's a good deal or a bad deal. - But it sounds encouraging. - I just don't want Baseball to be gone for an entire sum. - I think it's ultimately it's gonna come down to if the players have any sort of wiggle room on the whole no salary cap thing. - Yeah. - Or if that's just like, you could say each team salary, it's a $1 billion salary cap for team. If the players would still say no deal. - Yeah. - No cap. - No cap. I just don't want Baseball to be gone. That would say for an entire summer, that'd be brutal. By the way, Max, are you done with the Phillies? - I'm over Baseball, right? - You're done with the Phillies. - I'm over Baseball right now. But mostly, I hate the Phillies. - What made you be done with the Phillies? - I mean, this was just a terrible week. - Okay. - They can't win a series. They were down one nothing against the Cardinals. Two days ago, I'm getting my days mixed up. Two days ago, bases loaded no outs, double play, pop up, lose the game. I'm done with the Phillies, they do whatever. - I'm the exact opposite where I'm talking. Max had to like, I said some shocking stuff when we were in the golf course. - You were talking crazy. - I'm talking crazy about the Cubs. I said, Max had to like, stop me. - Well, you just kept being like, - They're better than Josh. - I did say that. - They're playing so good right now. - But Breggman had three home runs on Wednesday night. Breggman was like, he had the slowest start. Now he's just the best player. Yeah, I did say the Cubs are better than the Dodgers. I think I'm just going to let myself get hurt when that doesn't true. - Yeah. - Well, I mean, like recent head to head, maybe. - Yeah. - But I mean, listen, the Brewers, it's only three games right now. So Cubs are playing great ball. - I'm pretty sure the Brewers beat the Dodgers every single game in the regular season last year. - They did? and then. then. they do not in the playoffs. - Yeah, no, that's fact. But I can say it until I'm proven wrong. I can just say it. I can just say things. It feels good. Excited about baseball. Excited about the cuts? - I saw jumping back real quick to the Lakers thing. I did see a report earlier today. Maybe shines a little bit of light. So Mark Walter previously claimed that $1.4 billion of the assets that he had for his life insurance company were loaned out to other businesses that he controlled. But then he revised that number from $1.4 billion to $21 billion. Pretty big mistake. - That's a jump. - And so that's probably what he's under investigation for. - Got it. - So he owns a lot of shit and he also sells life insurance and then he makes his own employees by his life insurance at the companies that he has. But that's kind of just like paying yourself. - That's genius. And so it sounds like allegedly he might have just claimed like a super low number compared to what it actually was. And that my friends I believe would be fraud. - Yeah. - But that's also, I feel like most rich people, they do that shit. - Yeah, oh yeah. - They figure out ways to not pay taxes. I'm convinced rich people don't pay taxes. - There's, yeah, just about anything that you can make money on is fraudulent. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You see the manual Ocho story? - What about it? - Shining light on the on security and the NFL and then being involved with police departments. - Oh, I did see that. Let me do, let me do the ads and then why don't you bring up that story. It's a good story to bring up. - It sounds from the conversation. Planet Fitness, everybody can get strong at Planet Fitness, high-value membership that supports any fitness journey as low as $15 a month over 2,800 club locations. Most clubs open 24 hours. We have it in our office in Chicago. We have the free weights. We have the Smith machine. We have the stair climber, the treadmill. 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Bet to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click to claim for 14 days. When nonwithdrawable reward redeemable, terms at dkng.co/offer, limited time offer. - Hey, what was the story you had? - Emmanuel Ancho was on a podcast and they were talking about the Kyle Shanahan situation. How it's a little fuzzy with the report coming out late. They're not being a police report, things of that nature. And he said that he had a story when he was playing played for three teams, played for the Eagles for a few years. He played for the Browns and he played for the Giants for like 42 days. - Okay. And he said he was pulling off an off ramp. He caused an accident. He called the head of security and then the head of security at this unknown team, or unsaid team, said, hey, a cop's gonna come. They're gonna leave and then like I'm gonna send another cop who's gonna pull up and say it's not your fault and that's what happened. The cop showed up so there wasn't his fault and he got off, you know, it's got free. And he said it was like he was an off ramp right near the facility. So someone on Twitter did the research and the Browns facility is not near an off ramp. Like, it wouldn't make sense for that, but the Eagles and the Giants, it's one of those two teams. So it could, you know, who knows which team it is, but he basically said, yeah, all these NFL teams, they have a lot of like their head of security, police guys, former police guys, and they can, you know, they have fixers essentially. - In the NFL? - Yeah. - Hmm. It's interesting. - So who could it be? - It's either the Eagles or the Phillies. And then he, I mean, the Eagles or the Giants, he played for the-- - Wait, wait, what? - Eagles or Giants. - The Eagles or Giants. He played for the Eagles for four years, he played for the Giants for 42 days. - Oh. - It's interesting. - Okay. Question Hank. Is it the possibility that Emmanuel Acho is lying? - Definitely. - Okay. - Also. - Super, super reliable source. - Yeah. - I just, is Emmanuel Acho just admitting that he's not only a bad guy for taking this help from a different police officer, but also a snitch for then telling the story. - Yeah, he got the benefits and then years later-- - Snitched. - He wants to get clicks on it. - Yeah. - I believe he's admitting to a felony. - Yeah. - To lying on a police report. - I think the head of security is committing a felony. - No, but I think-- - Well, we don't know which team-- - We don't know which team, but Emmanuel is saying-- - I didn't get somebody-- - Yes. - Whoever, whoever head of security is-- - He sounds his name off on a report saying that he did not cause the accident when he knew that he did. - So it sounds like he admitted to a felony. - And the way, like, current actions work, it's gotta be somebody's fault. So the other guys or girls premium definitely went up. They're paying more in insurance. That's a bummer. - What's the statute of limitation on that car accident? - You're lying on a police report. I wonder, I mean, I thought they can get you for a while on that. - To me, that's the big story in this. And it's not which team it was and whoever happened to be head of security. I think it's more about, like, Emmanuel Acho, personal responsibility. - Anyone else have any thoughts? - The legal penalties could be arranged from civil penalties all the way to Rico. - What? - Rico's involved? - Concerns of a pattern of racketeering. - Ah, got it. - Okay. - Okay. - This seems like a serious story. - Very serious, yeah. - I'm seeing false report usually class B, about one year, class B misdemeanor. - But would it be Acho going? - Yeah, he would be, he's in the incident that he would have to make the report, yeah. - I think, yeah, I think Emmanuel Acho should go to prison for a year. - Did you bring this story up because you don't like the Giants? - No, I just, you know, national sports podcast just asks us on a lot of shows. - Do you choose your own adventure for field of dreams game tonight? - Oh, okay, nice bags. - Good point, Max. - Yeah, good point. That's the field of dreams game. - Don't hang off. - You're out of the field. - You're not allowed to talk about it. You see, you're done with the field it's for right now. - But the broadcast is brought to you by Netflix. But you said you're out on the Phillies. (laughing) - But Netflix comes first and we know this. - Max, don't let Hank off to hook. You're hatred and you're absolutely bias against the Giants for beating the Patriots to two Super Bowls, is clouding you, like I don't know why you brought this story up other than to pick on the Giants. - No, it's just interesting. Kyle Shanahan thing, there's still, you know, it's part of the discussion we've had all summer. It's an ongoing story. - It is an ongoing story. - And a national reporter, also, LaShan McCoy, Shady, Eagles legend, was also on the podcast when this happened. Didn't bat night, didn't seem surprised. - But he played for other teams? - Yeah, for sure. - He played for so many teams. - He played for Giants? - I don't think so. - Oh. - And then but. - Shit. - He could also probably be sitting there being like, here goes, here goes Acho again, telling the lie. - Yeah. - Classic Acho. - But how did they find out who Manu's partner in crime was? How would you get down to the bottom of that? - I mean, you just gotta go through the entire directory of the Giants, you know, front office, right? - That's a lot of guys. - Yeah. - Do we know anyone in a full security that helped us maybe get to the bottom of this? - Now with the Giants. - We should investigate. We should hire somebody to investigate. - Aaron Nolan was gonna give up six bombs by the third inning today. If you really wanna know what I think that is gonna happen, the field of dreams game. - Max, you should be rooting for this story. The Giants are NFC's foe. You should be like, let's find the Giants. Get draft picks taken away. Look, PFT's rooting for this story to come out. - Yeah. - The Giants need to, I don't care who's involved. - Yeah. - I want the truth. - And you want the Giants to be punished. - If it happens to weaken my division rivals, the Giants, I'm fine with that. - Yeah. - Max, by turning, by turning an eye here, you're strengthening the Giants. - Swarber's probably gonna hit at least two. - Dude, if he hits one, the corn, that's-- - Show, it'll be show safe. - Okay, can people stop-- - Also, just shout out Tony. Tony, Tony's market tips, that's the guy. He did a lot of research on the story. 'Cause he's 49ers guy, that's, he's trying to figure that out. - Memes, do you have any thoughts on Acho? - George is going. got to get one of these guys. (laughing) - Oh man. Can people stop body-shaming Paul Schien's? It's not nice. - I mean, the guy stretches a lot. - Also, he does stretch a lot. Also, pictures don't have to be in great shape. - No. - To be awesome. - No. - A lot of pictures are a little hefty. - It is more mass behind it, yeah. - It is funny that he needs to get a little more sun. - You play it out to our sport. You can just find a way to get a little more sun on the bod, because he was pretty pasty. But let's stop that. - It is kind of crazy that he got, he pulled him out for like five innings for innings. - Yeah. - And never reached over 95? - Yeah. - It feels a little weird. - It's not good. Okay, other story I had was Michigan. What's going on with Michigan just trying to, do you see Kyle Wittingham? Basically it was like, we don't have to hate Ohio State to beat them. - Yeah. - I don't really understand. It feels like the wrong move. I guess this is a player results thing. If they don't beat them, people are gonna be like, you didn't hate him enough. But I think you should have to hate your rival. That's good. - You should. Do you think he hated Utah State? - I would hope so. - Yeah. - BYU. - BYU. - BYU. - Probably both those schools. - BYU's the main rival of the whole more. - But probably both those schools, he probably had some feeling towards. I think he just needs to spend more time. - Yeah. - Give it a year, and I think he'll get it. - I mean, I look at like Matt Eberfluss was sitting next to Matt LaFlor at like a bucks game, like sharing popcorn. Ben Johnson, he hates everyone in the division, especially the Packers, like more than anything in the world. - Yeah. - That's what you want your coach to fuel you. - Yeah. - So that one was weird to me. I didn't really understand that. You should hate. You should hate in this, especially Ohio State Michigan. And that's one where like the fans are so crazy. You got to match their energy. - Because then it makes them feel dumb for hating them so much. - Right, and you also-- - And you don't even care that much. You leave the door open for guys like who we like, Ohio State, like he senses a little weakness. He's got a pounce on that. - Yeah. - He's gonna be all over that shit. - Yeah. There's another interesting story. So LeBron James, he's on the 76ers now, but I think this is probably from his time in Cleveland. He said that when Kevin Love said this, when LeBron goes to a road game in Toronto and Canada, he refuses to use the roaming data. He has to wait till he gets to the hotel to connect to Wi-Fi, because he's saying that he needs to be financially savvy and frugal, save a little bit of money to the point of like he refuses to deal with roaming charges. I thought that was interesting. - That is interesting. - Why? - Yes. Like what, like 599 a day? - Yeah, but he turns off all the data on his phone when he lands. - Yeah, till he gets to Wi-Fi. - And then he gets to the Wi-Fi and he's like, okay, now I can use this so I don't have to deal with the roaming charges. - Is this one of those situations where rich people just stay rich 'cause they do shit like this? And this, to me, is the most unnecessary thing in the world? - No, listen, LeBron. - I will lose all my money someday. - He'd probably be poor right now if he didn't spend that extra 30 bucks a day when he was in Toronto. - That is weird. - Do you think he should probably just sue St. Vincent St. Mary for anything that he has done in the past school? - What? - I agree. - He tried on there. - Yeah, it goes on. - Those are really good effort. I'd like the effort. - There we go. - Yeah. - What do you mean effort? That's exactly, you're talking about, you're just crying about your guy who's suing his school. You don't think that's financially savvy? - Let me just say the second half of this episode we taped on Wednesday night. It's a lot looser and more fun. I think we're at the beginning of like a travel day and everyone's kind of had each other. - Sure. - The rest of the episode, it's like, you guys are gonna see it's gonna be night and day in terms of the jolliness. - I think I'm pretty level headed about the Jayden thing. I think it's a bad idea that he's doing. I don't think he should be doing it. - Imagine if the Bears were gonna be the Indian Bears today. - The Knives would be out everywhere. - That's a bad show. - What do you got, Zach? (laughing) - Yeah, fucking say something, Zach. - Yeah, in the field dreams games, this is where a plane troops gonna venture. Did you guys see their suing corn cob bats? Those are pretty cool. - Oh, that is cool. - Yep. - Hell yeah, wait a minute. - Yeah, Hank, are you listening to this? I think that's true. - I'm looking up corn cob bats. - Oh, are you looking up corn cob bats? I think, I think Max is a little nervous about the, maybe investigation coming from the giants. - What the hell, you'd be excited for that? That's a good vision arrival. - Yeah, I don't get it. - Now, cob bats. - Are there any other reasons why you might not turn your date on when you travel? - I don't know. - Is there? - I don't know, maybe just personal security. - Doesn't want to get hacked. - Oh, yeah. - You doesn't trust the networks? - Do you guys, when, oh, those are sick corn cob bats. When it's like this, this Wi-Fi is unsecured. Do you guys, I always just, like, I don't care, join. - Yeah, you already got all my shit anyway. - Is that it? What could, they could just take your life? What, how does that work? - Yeah. - I don't think we want to know. - Yeah, we, you know. - But could they take your life? - Yeah, I feel like if people get the fishing scams, you click one wrong link, and you can just-- - Yeah, but like, when you go to, when you go somewhere in the Wi-Fi doesn't-- - In movies, they just hack right in, yeah. - Yeah, but do you join? You don't join it, you join, like, right now, we're on a Wi-Fi that doesn't need a password. - I don't care, I'm not worried about that. - Okay, all right, so you agree with me. - Yeah, it's just your virtual life. You're not gonna get, like, no trafficking. The virtual life you can give up. - They could, they could do that. - And do that. - They already got me once. It was bad week, but it was okay. - That's right, yeah. - That's true, but also, we don't know if you might have blacked out and bought four iPhones on that one Monday. - America said that I didn't, I don't know, I actually don't know where, like, the credit bureau comes from, but I said that I didn't. - America. - I was gonna say, like, the police, but I don't think that that's-- - I think it's, I think it's-- It's probably your big financial friend experience, Matt. - Yeah. - I think that might have something to do with it. - Right. - All right, Russell Westbrook retired. - Yeah. - That kind of sad. I feel like he was one of those guys who, because he never, he never, like, aged look wise. You know, obviously, he aged a little bit, but he always was just in shape for his entire career. - Did I, I'll, I'll go to other five years being like, he could probably get out there and do something off the bench energy wise. - I would love to see Russell Westbrook just go overseas and drop 70 every game. - Yeah, that would be nice. - That would be sick. - He might miss it, yeah. It does one guy that, like, a retired all-time great that would do the thing where you show up to, like, a lifestyle or LA fitness and just give a bunch of 40-year-old accounts business in the gym. I can see Westbrook doing that. - You should absolutely go and bust this. - Yeah, in his own, in his own head, he sees all those guys up there as the people that were court side calling him Westbrook. - Yeah. - And so that now is where, when the fun really begins, well. - Yeah. - Oh, Florida State's retiring Sebastian Janakowski's jersey. Oh, that's actually real. - There we go. Are they really? - Yes. - Number 38, August 29 season over against Mexico. - What happened? Why now? - I don't know. I just, I'm just scrolling and saw it. That's so perfect. - That's awesome. I love it. - He just texted it in our production chat and said, "This show is about nothing right." (laughing) - It's actually, no, that's not true. It's heavy about retirement. - Jersey retirement is the ongoing investigation with the New York Giants. That would be the two main takeaways from today's episode. - I can't believe that Jersey wasn't retired. Like what happened in the last, I don't know, 10 years. - They might have had like a clause like don't do anything bad. Like don't get any DIYs or anything for a certain amount of time and we'll then retire. - Don't you think the clock is restarting? - Yeah. - Don't you think it's crazy. The Villanova has number one retired twice? - That is crazy. - And they're gonna get Scotty Reynolds also wore number one and his number isn't even retired yet. It's Kyle Lowry and Jalen Brunson. - That is weird. - They should retire Scotty's number. - I know, but that means they're gonna have three number ones retired. - Don't you think it's weird that Randy Moss's number isn't retired for the Vikings? - Yeah. - That is weird. - That's why I think like Jersey retired, we've gotten way too fast to lose with the Saturday Jersey. - No, the teams should have started to and more teams should do it, just ring of honor. Just do ring of honor and then you don't have to fuck with the Jersey. - Yeah, ring of honor, it would only have to be like, I can't even imagine. If maybe Mendoza in the Indiana. I could see that. - But again, college football is so hard because you have so many guys. - And also, it's a pretty big selling point if you tell a player like, hey, you can wear your jersey in their school. - Right, right. - That's something that kids actually care about when they go to college. - And it's a really good selling point too because if you're like Brian Kelly, you don't even have to follow through with it. So it's like a, that's the best type of selling point where you can sell someone on something and they don't have to follow through. - You don't have to do it at all. - It's like telling Michael Penex's ACLs fine. - I'm gonna be long gone by the time my check comes due. I think talking through this, I think I'm, I think I'm anti-Jersey retirement. - Okay. - I think that's my official stance. - Okay. - It's a weird thing and it's led us to a point where schools are retiring jerseys with no actual meaning behind retiring the Jersey. - Yeah. - They don't understand what retiring the Jersey even means. So now we've gotten down this path and everyone is acting like a bunch of big baby bitches for something that doesn't even matter at all. So I'm just an anti-Jersey retirement from now on. - I'll go, I'm gonna go after Janet Kowski. - I'm gonna go opposite of you. I'm gonna say I'm, I think you shouldn't get your Jersey retired if you want a national title or like a championship because then your team is basically honored right there. It's only, it should be only for guys who didn't win the big game. one. So, okay, so if you're a national champion, you can't get it retired. The team, the team already, it's your time. Yeah, the team's retired. You retired the year. Yeah, you retire that team forever. That team can never play football. Yep. Okay. And with that. That's pretty good, right? Yep. Yep. So then we honor the guys who didn't win it all. Yep. And they, because they don't have a national championship to come back for. What is this going to mean for the Heisman House this year? Oh my god. If the Heisman House was smart, they would actually have a video of Jay and Daniel showing up and taking his Heisman away. I mean, like putting it, or like the first scene is a U-Haul. Yeah. And like, and they're sitting there in Regivers. Like, what's that? It's like, Oh, Jaden's team. Or like, are they building next to Rome in the Heisman House? Because now that he's got two, he's got two trophies. Yeah, sure. So really, the only two guys to ever try to take their Heisman's back are Jaden and Oja. Yeah. Yeah. If, if it's true that Jaden really didn't know about him, or him requesting the other trophy, it was the game plan. Just to be like, Hey, honey, I got your other Heisman. It might have been a birthday present. Thinking about that. That'll be a good surprise. That would be a birthday present. Like I got. Now you have two Heisman trophies, baby. What do you, what do you got for us? Just for us a Westbrook or time. Okay. Oh, I got something that will bump the whole room out. You ready for it? Powerball. One billion dollars. Ticket was sold in Illinois. No, no. Winning ticket. Where? I don't know. Powerball tickets. That doesn't faze me. That doesn't get you like. Yeah. When the Powerball sold and you're like, oh, it's realistic that I could have. When the Powerball gets sold and it's like, oh, someone bought it in West Virginia, it's like, all right, I never would have won it. But let's see. Let's see where in Illinois. Buy Powerball tickets. Do I? Sometimes. Was that a real question? I don't know. Yes. I buy Powerball. I buy when it's above like 600 million. I didn't know. It's just a form of gambling. Yeah, I do it. I buy what yeah, exactly when it gets up to a big pot. The only thing that sucks about lottery is it's lottery winners and athletes. They have this thing where you have to pay taxes. Yep. That's true. I heard about that. Yeah. And so they actually take a lot of that money. So when you see a billion dollars, it actually ends up being more like 250 million because you got to take the lump sum, which is about half. And then half that actually goes to the government to pay for like roads and schools. Western Illinois. So it was a 44 drawing dry spell all the way back to May. Roll over. That's crazy. That's a lot. Holy fuck. Dude, one billion. West Virginia. Nothing. I mean, we would just do the same show about nothing. Shout out memes. I'm a confession to me. Yeah. Yesterday when I saw the Russell Westbrook retirement thing. Yeah, it was I was feeling yesterday was a long day in my head. I've thought I thought it was Russell Wilson for the past 24 hours. But he already retired. I didn't know that. I thought that yesterday the news broke that Russell Wilson retired. And then when he started talking about lifetime fitness, I was like, Russell Wilson plays football. Why would he be? Why would he be? Russell Wilson retired already, and he's going to be on the CBS test this year. He announced that a couple months ago. Yeah. So you missed both Russell's retirements. No, I call it Russell Wilson yesterday. He got twice. Yeah. Okay. All right. Did you did you know he you didn't know that he already retired? I thought that Russell Wilson retired yesterday. Okay. Got it. I do now that you say it. I do remember the CBS thing. Yeah, I do. Definitely. He's going to be bad. Okay. Yeah. But I didn't put that together until you the life, the lifetime fitness thing was really what it got. It was really what got me. Yeah. Is Russell Martin retired? Yeah. About. Yes. Right. Russell brand. What's he up to? He retired himself, I think. Okay. Okay. Last story. And then we're going to do, like I said, we have a very funny Mount Rushmore and Fire Fest. We taped it on Wednesday night. We're a little loopy. Incredible vibes. Hank. I think it's. Can we call it? Can we call it? No. Come on. It's reports, dude. You do. We've been doing this. I know, but these kids on the ship. We knew that we talked about that. All right. Fine. Fine. We're we're we're that they're not a championship. That we we just we were just about to end the show. That so close. That report came out. We talked about it. Then it's like it's the now they cancelled the championship that we discussed two weeks ago. What about John Rahm being out? That's a report. Okay. All right. All right. So we're not going to talk anymore reports. We can't talk about the report. We can talk about it, but I'm not going to be like it's dead because it's not it's all right. All right. All right. All right. A lot of successful leagues just cancelled their championships. Yeah, we're fine. It could. It's just a report. Time will tell. We're not going to talk about reports unless it come from their plan. Yeah. Yeah. Did we, uh, did we talk it all about J.J. now up in the one booth? What? Do we mention that? I couldn't remember if we talked about J.J. What is in the first boot? I think so, but maybe not. Are you serious? That's fine. What? Hey. Well, he's just we're talking sports, dude. This is sports podcast. That's a problem. What do you think? You know, you guys know enough being for real or not? I mean, we might have. I actually don't know. Yeah. I don't that's why I actually might have, but we might not have. Then then Ross Tucker is now being moved up to the second booth. That's right. And that's what I'm more interested because I like Ross. Yeah, Ross good dude. He's a great guy. Knows ball. Filly guy. Knows gambling. Yeah. He's he's going to be the king of like slipping in the old Al Michaels like subtle ones, but they might be deeper cuts. What do you think about that? I agree. I'm excited. All right. Great. All right. Okay. Let's kick it to ourselves. We got Mount Rushmore and then Fire Fest. Just I thought we crushed this way in them in in August 14th when I guess preseason football starts tonight. Oh, let's do that real quick. And you got me good prime time games. Feeling dreams. Feel the dreams. Feel the dreams. Who could forget the field of dreams? Okay. I'm going to say I'm going to say game. You guys give me the the final score. Max Packers Steelers Packers 17 Steelers 12. Zach lions Bengals 2017 2710 lions. Okay. Hank Colts Patriots. Oh, Seth released his first. This is our Colts of the year. Hold on. As as I'm playing day. He's something with May Day. I'm pretty as I'm playing it. It's bad. He's got a it's preseason for him too. I like him. He's got bangers. This isn't one of them. What's I'm happy about. Oh, I thought he said Drake May is going down. May day goes going down. It's actually better. May days going down is incredible solid. That's all I take it back. I take it back. I take it back. All right. Final score 19 to 10. All right. Chargers Texans. Gold chain. Nice hiccup. Cardinals Raiders PFT 5.5. Okay. And then I'll take I'll take 49ers. 52 Titans 12. Okay. Let's cage ourselves Mount Rushmore. Okay. Before we get to Mount Rushmore Chevy summers and full swing. That means no schedules, no plans. Just more of the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes that possible. There's a reason Chevy's called the heartbeat of America and the Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. These trucks work hard so you can chill harder. Whether that's getting out of town, heading to the lake or just not turning around when you probably should. It's got the capability, the space and the muscle. 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It is like the Carolina Hurricanes of the New York Knicks champions every which way. That is Reese's. Reese's the official candy partner bar still sports go get Reese's wherever you shop. Okay, boys, we're doing the Mount Rushmore of Zach. What is it again? Mount Rushmore of Apocalypse Go Bag Items. Apocalypse Go Bag Items. So to qualify as a Go Bag, what are we talking about? Duffle Bag Size. What Zach said. Okay, we're, listen, we were all little gassy said, Zach, you take the ball, you tell us what to do and you came up with this one. I like it. The standings by the way are Change did you send them yep? A big cap are a big cat memes max 49 PFT 36 Hank and Zach 35 go for road dogs and we got we got another road trip coming up So yeah parcel camp road dogs road dogs for life We'll just say that We're ready for this what we're ready max come on dude Max is mad at me and memes what happened me boils no, we just He says we're being too flippant in loopy They're being so loopy Why are you so mad though like we're always loopy? No, this was act I There's a they're giving me the ball and there's a chance. I just take all of all of No, you got to take some real pics. We made a list of 23 items Yeah, and he's mad about like 21 of them But you're letting him make every pack. Yeah, cuz we're like hey you take it dude. You got this come on max They make to make a couple real ones and then we'll go and then get loopy the ones that you make the pics They hit and pissed you off the most and then memes and I will defend them For the last two Yeah, that's fair. Okay. I'm excited to see what's going on All right, so we're gonna lose this one. No, that's not true. That's not true. We can defend it All right, who's up first. I'm up second. Okay Let's go boys. We're up first now rush more of Go bag items for your apocalypse for the apocalypse. Yeah, duffel bag size We're gonna go with the loaded gun. Oh good one didn't have loaded gun pick We did no we did Hank I did Kind of hurts us cuz we're not throwing it. We're not throwing it. We didn't have a loaded gun He did I did memes and I did right, so you guys are not you're actually picked it. He actually said he wanted he wanted weapons There's other ones still available, so that's good. All right. That's a fact. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna go This was my my one one. I'm gonna go with Later and matches Later or matches later or matches. That sounds like two picks. I think you got to pick one or the other I mean they both they both start fires Take your pick. What about fire starters? You can take your pick. Yeah, you this is your pick lighter matches It's so pick one of the other if I take matches somebody else is gonna take lighter lighter. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna say Lighters, okay, lots of letters. That's the correct pick letters. Yeah, that's correct We had that multiple letters. We have that on our list. It's good pick. Thank you take matches Do it No, Max, we have all of our pick. We have everything that you liked Everything is on there our whole board is open Max is looking at you like you you I'm gonna take batteries. Okay, good one. I could pick. Yeah, okay And then what about the other thing you liked you say it And medicine Okay, medicine just medicine in general these were Max's picks by the way Medicine and Joe the first one was not my pick what is medicine? Yeah, I need to know like we need to specify medicine Max do you watch a lot of movies are all they're always looking for medicine. This is where me What kind of looks like geniuses because we have some very did like specific things we can just take medicine like an entire genre Yeah, yeah, Advil Pepto medicine, you know medicine All right, all right, your own medicine if you need the number one medicine apocalypse movie they go to pharmacies and Raid the pharmacies medicine. Yeah, you need medicine. Yeah, cuz they're idiots and step on a nail or something you need medicine Jack knows what I'm talking about. He's played enough video games medicine is big we look band-aids Tylenol you medicine. We're just gonna take the whole medicine. Yeah, yeah, we'll just come with You guys shall now for big farming. Yeah, okay, guess picks by Fauci on this one medicine. Okay, good pick Max good pick I don't know about batteries. That's seem like a bad pick Bad it. Well, yeah, but what kind of batteries? Double a triple eight all bad You could free battery you could have some yeah have our battery. We could have done them out right back He's a little heavy in there. Yeah, is there no electricity in the apocalypse? Oh Max. That's why you get batteries Yeah, that's a good point Hank Max Max do you take the one thing we did all agree on that the batteries are used? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but Max is picking. Yeah, yeah, no, but that one we all agreed on. Yeah, what I mean Max is pick medicine was his pick yeah batteries and then whatever the one that he he actually came up with it No, I think I said the medicine no, the other one that I'm talking about batteries is good. Yeah, yes memes Wait, Hank, do you want us to throw it or not? You're like it's bad if you throw it and then you're mad that I just Those are two good pick. Yeah, I mean, it's yeah, I if you just take medicine in general. Yeah, I got medicine. All right, which one do you want to decide we I told Hank to take weapons? Yeah, he did Weapons you want to be laughing I told you to take fire I told you to take fire starters goes with batteries fire stock That's right Everything that you are I'm your starter. I'm your twisted fire starter. That'd be such a good walk out song for closure. Oh We're all over the place right now. It would actually yeah, it'd be a good walk out song when you're walking with your Duffel bag full of medicine and batteries like through the apocalypse and probably also lighters. Yes, and lighters since it's fire starter But not low loaded gun because I that's dangerous write this down Zach maybe future Mount Rushmore Mount Rushmore of people or professions That should have walk out music. Oh, okay. Yeah, dude I Would I actually think like if you go get a physical your doctor should definitely have a walk out song Yeah, coming in like bussing through the door You could tell everything of like whether this doctor is serious giving up her picks what oh sorry come on Doctor all right. Oh, we should have put a doctor in our Duffel bag. Let's know we got medicine already. We don't even need it Okay, I'm up. All right, so I already have lighters and medicine is fully off-swore And batteries I'm gonna go with toilet paper. Oh god, I have to okay like what you're gonna wipe your ass with yeah Because if you just if you try to figure it out on the fly, you're gonna end up accidentally choosing poison ivy at some point Mm-hmm. That's a bad scene. I don't have to be bigger problems in an apocalypse on the 30s I think that's a pretty big problem if you have an itchy ass. Yeah, you know gone is getting rid of an itchy Yeah, what you're gonna shoot your butthole you gonna itch it with the gun. So we're gonna strong on talking about an apocalypse Yes, you're bringing one roll of toilet paper, which will last you I like where your head's out here. We will take that toilet paper with a gun. Who said one roll of toilet paper? How much are you got a dog I took I said lots of toilet paper It's in a Duffel bag. So tell me in this Duffel bag. You're gonna as much as you can fit and also if you run into people toilet paper is gonna be excellent to trade with uh-huh Hey, give you ever heard of the old need a trade. I think medicine would be better to trade with Hey, you ever heard of the old the old story the princess in the pee? No The she has the pee under the bed and it bothers her mm-hmm itchy butthole could bother you Is that how the story goes? Yeah, it's a great equalizer. Is that how it doesn't matter? It's the end of the matter. Give the pee under the matter. How much how much power you have how hot you are if you have an itchy Butthole you feel like dogs like like that ruins your day no amount of medicine or batteries can change having an itchy butthole Correct and we have all of it. I think toilet paper is a great pick. Yeah, I like it. Yeah Hank, I'm on your side. I think it's terrible. All right. We'll make his play four votes again, Max All right, we are going Mr. Sirius is about to go We're gonna take Swiss army knife Okay, you already have a gun dude Yeah, but this is you know again, we're taking a apocalypse where we're trying to live for as long as we can you need You need a lot of tools and the Swiss army knife has them all you want the smallest knife that they make Wait, you I have a gun the knife is not for for a weapon. It's for the all the the uses that has besides being a knife You've never been in the outdoors. I have but like it would be real bummer if like the hinges broke I would say a fixed blade knife would be better should I take it? Dan I have a question you said towards if you're trying to live for as long as you can Yeah, I feel like medicine is like you live forever Till you run out. Okay. Well, no, we took it all Yeah, we have it all you guys have a duffles bags That's usually how medicine starts out but then a couple years later you get you see those infomercials Hey, if you took this true, that's a good point. Yeah, you know infomercials in the apocalypse also you guys not necessarily true I feel like we're we're all I think maybe we should have established with the apocalypse is there's also if you guys can understand When the apocalypse is there's a lot of medicine you can get addicted to sure you're just gonna become Junkies. Yeah, like was that nasal spray the Jake March became that was a bad scene man But you're gonna get you're gonna become addicts and then we're not talking about medicine anymore I don't know why you keep bringing up medicine withdrawals, and you're not gonna have any medicine for to help you medicine was like five picks ago You brought it up again Okay, you guys have another pick I mean hang on I also believe in the the bartering economy so we would like to take drugs. What? What kind of drugs? All medicine? You guys get all the medicine. We get all the drugs. Okay. What about some of those are about some of those? Yeah, I know, just so marijuana is part of medical drugs. Okay, so we get weed. Federally, you definitely don't get weed. Yeah, we get weed. That's fine. Okay. Cool. Hank, federally, weed is still illegal, I think. Yeah, federally, they don't get weed. No, no, we get weed though. Staten locals. Hey, just said yes to weed. Staten locals, some states, right? So what drugs are you guys getting? All of them. All of them. So you guys are like walking around high on heroin with a loaded gun in the itchy asshole. That's a bad scene. Or guys who are looking for maybe some toilet paper and a guy who's into heroin's like, hey, wood down a trade, it's a great bartering tack. Okay. Okay. And if things are going south, it's like, just go on. We could robo trip to a big batch. You know, there's all that robo tusson. Take enough of that. Fuck you up. Yeah, just say there's guy with some warm chicken parmin. Maybe he likes, you know, maybe some mushrooms, right? I will trade some mushrooms for some chicken parmin. We should have put chicken parmin on the list. All right, PFT. I'm going to take medicine. You wish. Let's see. I could take six. I could take four. I like this. Yeah, I could take. We're going with no numbers, by the way. Yeah, we don't have numbers in this apocalypse. Seven. I could take eight. I've got some really bad picks on this list here. Bet you we have worse. I've got a really bad one, but I actually truly think that it's good. Memes had one that pissed me off. First one. We walked into the room. He said one that really pissed me off. It hit me. It set the tone. I'm going to go. I'm going to go with seeds. Oh, okay. Lots of seeds. No, that's actually good because you can plant stuff. Yeah. That's not bad. No, no fucking shit. Yes. What kind of analysis was that, Max? Yes. What did you think? I was going to dip with him. At first I thought you were talking about like grubbing on some sunflowers, like sunflowers seeds. Oh, that's a good idea because you could even plant them too. You thought about eating them? Yeah. I thought you were like seeds. I went to the gas station. I got picked up some seeds. Yeah, man. You take seeds for tomatoes for crops. No, that's a good one. Born for all sorts of stuff. You make your own food. That's also going to be super in demand because grocery stores aren't going to last forever. Farms aren't going to be around that much more. Seeds. Seeds. Ask any prepper. They'll tell you seed seeds. That's the ticket. It's good pick. Also, you could grow your own marijuana and poppies and coke plants, whatever that comes from. No, they already got drugs, but I can make my own. You can't have anything that does, has to do with drugs. Don't even think about medicine. Yeah, or drugs. There's definitely seeds of, like, yeah. I would. I would. I would. I would. Yeah. I would. Yeah. I'd make my own medicine. Now. And then you guys, when you ran out, you'd have to come to my farm. All right, Max. How long are you planning to last in this apocalypse? How long are you planning on lasting? It's an apocalypse. Probably not long. As long as possible. Yeah, with your bag. I'm not long enough to grow a fucking tree. You might have. I don't want to grow a tree. Who's anything about growing a tree? I'm sorry, a tomato plant. Yeah. Yeah, like six months. It's an apocalypse. So you're planning on taking things to occupy your mind for two months before you die? We're going to go with a Game Boy. Yeah. There it is. That's a good pick. And we already have the batteries. Yeah. So those go hand in hand. Yeah. Like I, if you're going to die, you might as well do something fun on the way out. Agreed. You like that pick? Yeah, we had it. Oh, you had Game Boy. Yeah, we just didn't know about like the, the, you don't have batteries. Once you were, well, it's like a battery. We got him. Eventually. We got batteries. Which brings you drugs for a couple of batteries. Then we're going to go with a non-perishable food. Ooh. Like maybe a seed. Yeah. Like Twinkies. You said some fly receipts and I was like, fuck, that was going to be my name. That's a good pick, Max. Non-perishable food. Yeah. So just how many cans? As many as we can get. So really heavy bag. Yeah. No. Our bag is pretty heavy again. Look, we got three guys. Yeah. You have enough food for like three days rationing. Okay. Four. How long is it going to take you to grow those fucking seed trees? You guys don't have what are you going to do in the time? It's an investment. Oh, so what are you going to kill? We might just take you. You don't have it. You're going to eat me? No. You got to kill Max and beams too. Yeah. It's apocalypse. Yeah. In Philly batteries are a big time weapon. We should have picked sex. What? We'll get to that. Okay. PFT. I'm up again. Yeah. Yeah. Six was a big mess. Fuck, man. I'm actually mad at you for that. I've got one that I should take. Take it. It's someone who just who's regretting not taking six. You should take it. Six? No, six. Number six. Oh, you think so. I was thinking about taking six. That may be better. You already got the lighter. Yeah. It might be medicine. Yeah. Or drugs, I guess. Actually, in apocalypse, there's going to be a lot of people that used to smoke cigarettes that don't have cigarettes anymore. They'll probably rob you. I'm going to go. This is a really good value, I think, for the last round. I like when you say that. I took food in the last round. Yeah. You did get food. That actually is huge. You took lunch. You're back in lunch. Eat some food. I'm going to take nudes. I'm planning for the long term. There's no internet. There's no weird movie theaters of sticky floors. You, uh, nudes are going to be the new gold. Even in the apocalypse, you're horny. Yeah. No, no, these are tabard. Oh, it's like if you run across some people, they've got some stuff. Like maybe they, they might have some medicine. That was genuinely our next pick was Porto Max. Oh, there you go. We had that one. And we had Porto. And you're like, I've got nipples like confirmed boobs. We had you are going to be a person high demand. We also had old sports illustrated to be like, be able to remember football. Yeah. Almost as good as Porto. I wrote, wait, are we done? No, no, they have their last pick. I don't want you to hang to seal this one. Uh, I don't know that Zacker. Honestly, we have right now gun, Swiss Army knife drugs. Yeah. I like eight. I like eight. You guys are like, okay, we would like to play Scarface. We'd like to take playing cards. Okay. It's a good time. Playing cards. Yeah. Yeah. I like cards. I like cards. Stop when you lose them, though. Who are you going to play with? You guys going to play solitaire? Maybe you guys bring over your Game Boy. PFT brings over some of the seeds. The new bag. Play little cards. Okay. How long are you guys thinking we're going to be in the apocalypse? Yeah. Well, cards, you don't need batteries for. You can play cards forever. Yeah. So I'm saying, like, it's kind of weird that you're thinking, what do you just say, me? Can be such a long apocalypse. Oh, no. Max is Max is like, it's like, it's like, it's like, what are we all just going to jerk off with each other? Yeah. Like, let's, let's say we survive here. Let's say we survive. And, and if we survive, then yeah, having seeds would be good. But if you survive, you run on a toilet paper, I don't know, six months in. If you survive three years, we have cards for, we have cards for as long as we survive. Game Boy. Game Boy. Forever. Yeah. And bad. I mean, yeah, batteries was a huge job. I'm gonna take a flash. I think maybe some of my seeds are cotton seeds. And then I grow my own toilet paper. No, you can't do that. We basically did the Dwayne Wade LeBron James Alioupe with batteries to Game Boy. Yeah. You didn't see the Game Boy coming after the batteries pick. We set ourselves up for success. Okay. Good Mount Rushmore. Do we nobody picked water? That was a mess. Because you don't have enough. That's a mess. There's a, I thought about saying water filtration. That would be a good pick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a tablet. A lot of the stuff we were talking about, we're just like gun. Yeah. We just shoot the way. Oh, you guys think gun will solve everything. It'll solve some things. We'll take some shit with it. Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. We hate that to do it, but we probably have to. Yeah. You don't have it in you. No, but hopefully we can brandish. We can find a well. Yeah. I definitely don't have it in me, but brandish. I don't know how that works. Yeah, you could brand it. But also, yeah, maybe it's actually tweaking. And you might have it off of the plane trip off the, yeah, solitaire. Yeah. All right. Honorable mentions. We had a lot. We had mini S O A R D. What did you say? Soared. Oh. Oh, no. I wrote that. I wrote that. What, smell it again. That's so good. Sometimes does it. I know I'm reading. I was reading my list. I'm reading. That you know what you did right there. And that was me. That was, I was, I had like a panic attack. I was like, Holy shit. Did I not pick up on the joke there? And then I, that's how you spelled sword. I am. I'm nice. I missed the W. And okay. And also had it. Yeah. But you all knew what I was saying when I spelled it. It took me a while. Well, you also, you implied that it was Zach. - How? - Well, I thought for a second we weren't allowed to say sword for some reason. (laughing) - I said, wait, what's going on? - I was like, when you take your dog or ask you where your dog wants to go to a W-A-L-K. (laughing) Don't fucking say that word again. - Sure, it's really exciting. - Oh, okay. - Can you go on your list? Could you hold this, Hank? - I've been PFTN in-- - Meeknow, Dorno Mag, Bottle of Whiskey, Flashlight. We almost-- I was thinking of me-- - How? - flashlight. - What do you do with the butt? - That's why we didn't say it. - Yeah, I-- - Battery. - Talk about batteries for an hour, so I knew not to bring up something with batteries. (laughing) - Tent? - Oh, Tent's good. - Yeah, a knife from a shetty, mini sword, football soccer ball. - Oh! - Football's good. All right, PFT, go ahead. - Duck tape. - Duck tape. I also had-- - Duck tape's good. - I had duck tape. - I had duck tape on the first list. I talked to that off of it. - Bad move. - I don't care. - All grenade. - That's a good one. - Wait, what? - That was the last thing on our list. - A grenade? - Yeah. - Why? - Okay. - Nades? - Grenades. - I mean, apocalypse, you assume we're fighting someone. - Oh, yeah. - I don't know. - So, having a grenade, ready to go. - I'm grenades. - In a grenade. - Grenades, grenade. - You ever see one grenade? - Even if it is one, I mean-- - Just rattling around in your duffel bag. I feel like that would probably blow up. - You would be so afraid to use the grenade, because it's like-- - It was like a carton. - I have no more grenades. - Like an egg carton-sized thing of grenades. - You're gonna need grenades. - We've got 12 mini grenades. - Are you gonna go hunting with the grenades? - Fishing. - What if-- yeah, what if I-- Again, it's the apocalypse. You never know. Maybe you've got to need some people. Or things. I don't know. I don't know what apocalypse is. - Yeah. - All right. - Maybe we see it like, dig a hole, and it's like, "Oh, I'm tired." - Grenades. (laughing) - Okay, I had-- - I had axe. - Oh, that's a good one. - That's a good one. - Axe would have been good. - So it's army knife. - That's a terrible pick. I had first-- - Basically the same thing. - Also, you could just burn the tree down with your lighters. - That's true. I had first aid kit. - Yep. - Ah, but that's medicine. - It's kind of medicine. - But there's like band-aids, that's not medicine. - Band-aids aren't medicine. - Yeah. - Max, do you think band-aids are medicine? - It's in the family. (laughing) - If you go down the medicine aisle, - Yeah. - you're gonna see band-aids. - And we basically-- - We got that. - Oh, when we took medicine, we went like this. - We swiped on the aisle. - Yeah. - We have everything. - Also had sigs. - Had a map. - I can't remember. - Maps? - Maps good. - Good. - Yeah, that's good, big. - I had Starlink. - Mm. - I don't understand how it works. - Yeah, you get internet and theory. - Yeah. - I had solar charger. So it's like a little mini generator. - Yeah. - So you get electricity, recharge. - None of those things happen. - Actually, the solar, the solar. - I'm thinking, I'm just thinking of apocalypse movies and I've never seen Starlink in it. - That's a problem. I don't think I've ever seen a apocalypse movie. - Yeah, I mean, we're not, we're not saying like what would you write into a screenplay about the apocalypse? - It's crazy. - Yeah. - You've never seen Stand By Me. In our fucking best friend is in it. I've seen, I've studied Stand By Me. - Oh yeah, that's right, you have seen it. If you watch that show with the guy that touches all his female coasters, what's his name? - EDP. - That's not the way that works. - Yeah. - Yeah. - What? - The movie of the apocalypse, it was it to last of us? Is that it? - What's the one with Will Smith when he's in New York City and he has the dog? I couldn't watch that 'cause I know the dog dies. - Yeah, the dog dies, right? - One of my picks was Blake. - Well, I mean, they don't put a dog in a movie like that and not kill it, it's fucked up. You know that's gonna happen. And see Marley and me for the same reason. - A loyal puppy was on my list. - Yeah, that's good. - That can like grow up with you. - That's honestly. - The companions. - Yeah, that's good pick. - That's not all. - That also be kind of mean to put him in the duffel bag. - Now you put his head poking out of there. - Yeah, the duffel bags, they breathe. - I had roller blades. - Now I'm not a bad pick. - I did not take roller blades. I actually think it would be a sneaky good pick. - I think it's a great pick, it would be a leap. - If you have to get around and there's roads and sidewalks in the apocalypse, it's like everyone else is using their feet that takes hours to walk in there. You could go hunting on roller blades. You could do a lot of stuff on roller blades. It'd be sick. - And you'd look really cool, don't you? - You're gonna use them in the grass? Where are you going, honey? - Like we're talking, I don't know. There's a possibility you could hunt because you're gonna be in an urban environment that's gonna be overgrown. - And there's gonna be an urban apocalypse. - Well nature is healing. Sometimes the wolves and shit, they move back. You see deer walking around. - That's where you hit them with the mini grenades. - Yeah. - You're under, yeah, you're under your roller blades with a backpack full of mini grenades. (laughing) - And playing cards. - You're doing spins, throwing grenades left and right, it'd be pretty sick. - I like that. - And then I had a pencil and paper. - Yeah, we had that pen and paper. We couldn't tell if that would count as one or two picks. - Yeah, I think just to keep your mind occupied. - Yeah, right, pretty valuable. - Yeah, hopefully someone finds you. - Yep, and a camera. - Okay. - Oh, and radio. And Fantasy Football Preview Magazine. - Okay, I like that. All right, we had-- - I memorized that magazine so hard. - The Bible. - Yeah. - Yeah, could pick. - The, this is where Max got really mad at us. Ready memes. This is a mess, we should have taken this. Pillows, pillows are like, how are you gonna sleep? You need a pillow. - It takes up the whole bag. - Yeah, you need a pillow though. I would honestly do a whole bag of pillows. But you gotta be comfortable. - I was mad. - Along those same line, a sweatshirt. - You can just wrap yourself in toilet paper. - Whoa, if you sweatshirt on the way out. - What if you don't? What if you have to leave so fast? A gas mask? 'Cause we don't know. - I don't know. - Maybe. A scuba mask. Max got really mad about this one. Flippers, I feel like you would probably need flippers. - I said if I was looking through my house to pack a bag for the apocalypse, and I saw flippers, I think it would be maybe the last thing I would put in that bag. - Yeah, you're not thinking outside the box. What do you get to swim? - Yeah, oh, yeah. - You can just go like-- - He's fishing like-- - Right, scuba mask and flippers? - I don't know. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, flippers. - I can't believe you didn't take this Hank 56 degree in a sleeve of balls. - Nah. - Okay. Twinkie. - Stig one. - You ever want a lost bank? - Yeah. - It stays for an apocalypse, right? - Yep. - Was this yours, memes? Comin' Hair Gel? Comin' Hair Gel? - Yep. - You don't want a messy hair rub. - I don't know where we went with this one, but we'd said a suit of resume in case the apocalypse goes sideways and you-- - This is what happens to come back to work. - This started to get me angry. - Yeah. - Also, memes walks into the room and he says condoms, which is the last thing that you need in an apocalypse. - I'm gonna defend memes a little bit on that. You don't want to get anybody pregnant in an apocalypse. - Yeah. - You literally repotting the seed everywhere. - Yeah, seeds. - Why not spread more? - That you can eat. Are you saying that you can eat that type of seed? - No, I'm just saying. If your message is like, let's spread all these seeds and grow the world like no condoms. - Well, I think if you got somebody pregnant. - In an apocalypse, you probably need numbers. - But if you get somebody pregnant, that person's probably gonna die. Like, there's a reason why they won't let people go to outer space and have sex. - Wait, that's true? - Yeah, they can't be pregnant. - I feel like they break that rule. - You guys don't watch enough apocalypse movies. - No, I don't know anything about it. - They're trying to repopulate the world. - It's always a really-- - Oh yeah, the one really risky thing that they are distraught about if they get pregnant. - It's not a bad pick. I personally would just pull out. - Yeah, it's like a apocalypse, bad enough. You get aids or something. - Yeah, just pull out. - Yeah, I would suck, but we have the medicine. So we find-- - Sure. - One blanket, just one. But I think you need a blanket. This one's a personal one. I would definitely pack my ankle braces 'cause I know that I would turn my ankle on day two and then I would die. - Is that medicine? - Like a really bad spring-nake. Actually, it kinda is the medicine aisle. And then headphones, which I think maybe was for our Game Boy, in case it was one of those. What's the silence movie with John Kersinsky? Quiet place? Yeah, if you want, that would suck if you got killed because you were ripping some Dr. Mario on your Game Boy. So you probably would want to have headphones. - Not a bad way to go out. - Yeah, but yeah, I think that was it. Max was very upset about a lot of these. - Picture of your family. - Picture of your family, yeah. - Pillows was a good pick. Where, how are you gonna sleep without a pillow? - I think there's a lot of soft things that could fill in if you had to. - Like what? - The Go Bag. - Yeah, the bag itself. - The art is full of batteries, dude. - The paper, a bag filled with toilet paper. - Okay, that's fair, but we have a bag filled of batteries. - We can. - Our monica. - Our monica. - Yes. That's such a good pick. - I like that pick, thank you. - Such a good pick. - Can you learn how to play the harmonica? - Could I? - Yeah. - I've been meeting to-- - Probably not. - I've been meeting to learn how to play the harmonica because Billy Joel is my karaoke song. And one day, I want to bring out a harmonica while I sing Billy Joel karaoke. - People will hate that wrong. - That is wrong. - If you bring out a harmonica for karaoke. - No, I said this because I saw some guy at karaoke. He's some old guy at karaoke with harmonica. - Old guy is the specific thing here, though. Old guy at works. If you're an old guy. - You don't have fun ever. - What are you talking about? What are you-- a bar. They don't tell me about what brings a house down at karaoke. Actually, I went to a karaoke bar not too long ago, uh, it was last time I went to a bar. Uh, whoa, last Wednesday idiot paid for your bar tag. Yeah. So how about that, dummy? And we had a lot of beers. I don't even think you said, thank you. You don't have fun. You don't have fun ever. I listen, the harmonica would work, but it's an old guy move. I think it works for an old guy, a young guy doing it. I think people be like, what's going on? I think, I think Max can pull it off. Yeah. Philly Joel. All right. Then do it. Yeah. Do it. Matt, you want Max? Put punks back at Joe's own. We just, I will learn it. I will, I will learn how to play the harmonica and do Billy Joe. No way. And yes, I will. Philly Joel. I promise. December one. No way you're learning with harmonica. A hundred percent. I'll write into December. I want to say maybe. So you got to get the one with like the, the Bob Dylan, where it's like, when you're wearing it, yeah, that's going to be a Thanksgiving dinner. I got to learn the fucking harmonica in a week. That probably will happen, but I'll do it Friday, December 4th. Oh, no. Well, like, if it was the 15th, would you feel better about that? Is that enough time before it sounds like a busy week December? No, you are sure I have a wedding the next. No, I could leave Saturday morning. It's fine. No, just make a video. A lot of weddings, man. So many weddings. Max learning the harmonica is going to rock. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. This is going to piano man. I love this piano man. So he brought the house down when he did this? No, there was like five people in the bar, but I thought it was cool. Oh, something you weren't having so much fun. No, it was great time. That was really mean of you. Yeah, no, that was unnecessary. Sometimes, especially because I literally was at a bar with you less than like a week ago. It's true. It's true. For multiple hours. Sometimes I snap back at things that are unnecessary. Shocking. I mean, I agree with you. I wish I went to more bars. I do not have time to go to bars. I miss bars. That was a good amount rush for. Blow job machine. Yeah. Yeah. You said blow. So you're not going to be using the condoms. Not a mad no. Yeah. If you have a blow job machine in condoms, you're not someone who's going out looking for sex when you got in your duffle bag. I've heard those exist and a Rubik's cube. Oh, Rubik's cube's not terrible. Rubik's cube. I think you would take me on. I still would never get it. Yeah. That's the thing is like I would bring up. You know, I've always wanted to learn this. And now that it's the apocalypse, what better time? And then I throw it away after a day. What about a Chinese finger trap? Just trap yourself. He already said blow job machine. That's true. That's kind of you put your hand in it. Oh, excited about this harmonica. Oh, yeah. Do you think he's going to learn it? No. No. I put it. I mean, you have to be good at it. Yeah. No, I'm going to be really good at it. Okay. This is a promise. This actually is a, this is a punishment for us. He's going to be practicing the harmonica every day. No. No practicing inside the office. No. Yeah. That is good as suck. I just made that a rule upon myself. Yeah. If you're in a quiet place by yourself, not just ripping the harmonica randomly. It just sound like a hobo that's going to prison. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Stick. Well, I'm going to be easy. Yeah. This is going to be cool. Yeah. And a good stick would be awesome. I'm ex you max find that. What point? Yeah. That's a valid point. Yeah. Max. I am, I'm excited for you to learn the harmonica. I'm going to, I'm going to be a supportive friend. I'm like you who just. Yeah. No, I'm sorry. All right. Let's do firefest. PFC. 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Morgan and Morgan has been helping people with their own fire fest for over 35 years. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers. With over 30 billion dollars recovered for over 500,000 clients, Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. The fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepople.com/PMT or dial pound law, pound 529 from your phone. That's f-o-r-the-people.com/PMT or dial pound law, pound 529. This is a paid advertisement. Alright. Firefests of the week. Henry? Nothing too crazy. I am sharing a room with Max this week. We've had a good time. I'm just old. On the road, I think yesterday I had some teas, 10 pieces of pizza, some breadsticks. Nothing good. Nothing good in my system. You were hammering pizza at like 10 PM last night. Woke up with the worst harper and a bad stomach issue. 4 AM pitch dark. Same. I go in the bathroom. I was like, you know, you're asleep. I didn't turn any lights on. So I was just sitting there, like having a bad time. And then Max also woke up in the middle of the night. It was just the most awkward interaction at 4 AM where he opened the door. I was like, I'm in here for him. He walked in. I didn't get far enough to actually walk in on him. But I went go take a piss and he was taking a shit. It was like I couldn't believe it. I woke back up this morning. Because you know, when you're in the middle of the night, you go to the bathroom. You don't really remember necessarily. I went to the bathroom. I think Max walked in on me taking a shit at 4 AM in the pitch dark. It was pitch black. I just didn't fit. I thought, and I just was like having a heart. I was like, I was, I was down so bad. It was just harper and a bad stomach. I was like, oh, that's the worst. You know what I'm saying? Your body's just on fire. I'm on. I'm sad that you went through that Hank. I went through the exact same thing last night. I laid down and then I got the worst harper and I tried to the power through it. And I was like, at this point, I just got to go puke. Went to the bathroom. Put a towel down. So I got on my knees before the toilet. And then I didn't have to puke anymore. And then I went back to bed, laid down again. The second I laid down again, I'm like, oh, shit, it's back. Have to puke again. Go back to the bathroom. Go back, lay down, say it keeps happening over and over again. I finally get some sleep and then I wake up at probably like 3 AM. And then yeah, it was, I think there was something bad that we ate last night. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because it was some serious, it was serious business. This is why you guys got to eat ice cream right before you go to bed like I do helps. Yeah. Yeah. Cools off naturally. Shout out to Zach for getting the ice cream. Yeah. I'm new to Harburn in like the last 3 weeks. I always hear a lot about it. Had no idea what I was in for. Oh, yeah. Unreal. Oh, yeah. Absolutely unreal. When you wake up and you're like, I have puke in my throat. Never once experienced it in this last month. It started coming. I never want to return something more of my entire life. Wow. I'd die. And then like, you had like, oh, I was like, oh, my dying. I was like, no, and then you just kind of play back like what you put in your body yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. No, like, yeah, this is just Harburn. Like this is just my body. Tate me. Yeah. You guys were doing stuff cross late. That's good for soul though. You know, I went through almost a full sleeve of extra strength role leads today, or Tom's, I guess on the course. That's going to be a whack one of those. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like I had so much like the stones might be coming back. Yeah. Why wouldn't you always get extra? Why would you make an extra strength? You you should just the baseline should be the highest. Well, that's what they do. They nerf it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's like double stuff Oreos, you know, double stuff Oreos are just like single stuff Oreos now. But then they make the extra stuff. But now we're talking medicine, which I'm an expert of. Right. All medicine should be the best form of that medicine. Right. Is there like side effects to the extra strength that we don't know about? Yeah. - Probably like kidney active ingredients. So I'll tell you, give me like a week and a half, two weeks if I have a kidney stone. We know exactly what. - Got it. - Zach, I'm sorry that you're going through this. It's also like a seminal moment in every man's life. Well, I actually remember vividly when Hank first had heartburn. It was probably like seven or eight years ago on the podcast and PFT and I just looked at him like, oh my God, our boys growing up because you just get to a certain age where you start eating things. And certain times at night and it fucks you up. - My dad told me that once it started, there's no going away. - No, no, no. - It's just part of the life you live now. - It's whiskey hot wings like just, oh my God. - Red sauce. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - Yep, red sauce will do you in big time. - A bloody Mary will just crush you. - I get heartburn just looking at bloody man. - Bloody Mary is good. - And I'm a guy who doesn't even go to bars. - One of my favorite things to have. (laughing) - If I was having a drink before 2 p.m., it would be bloody Mary first. And then now I haven't had, it's probably been years since I had one. Just can't do anymore. - Yeah. - Bloody Mary's. - They do, they're so overrated. - They say they seem cool, but it's just like, dude, a fucking vodka orange juice so much better, screwdriver. Although that will give you heartburn. (laughing) - No, no, they're not. - I think it doesn't give you heartburn just because the choice of that and the bloody Mary, it's like, "Oh, I'm gonna go with that." - True. - "Not the bloody Mary, so this is clean." - Yeah. Dude, heartburn's like a thing where if you're laying down, you gotta stand up. It just starts coming up. - Yeah. - We gotta cure this. - Yeah, no, it's bad. - Not cool. - It's not cool at all. Yeah, after like a NFL Sunday, when we really go through our Super Bowl Sunday, I'll just be laying in bed in the torture chamber. - I'm not ready. - And being like, "I'll never do this again. "I'll never do this again." And then boom, Sunday comes around. - Yeah. - So welcome. You've earned your stripes. - I don't know about that. - We should like cut your tie off right now. It's like, "I can't for us. "I don't want to be here. "I don't like it here." Okay, PFT. - My fire fest of the week, I had a pretty good week. I talked a little bit about the back stuff on the last show, so I'm feeling so good that I can't really complain about too much right now, but I'm a big Washington commanders fan. I don't know if you guys know that about me. And earlier today, I saw a post online that made me very worried about the season. - Okay. - Quinion Mitchell looks really good for the Eagles. - I feel like we'll talk about this earlier. - Well, no, we can talk about it now. It's not that. - Yeah, wait, wait, we haven't talked about it. - Yeah, we haven't talked about it. - Did you just try to delay my fire fest? - How good does he look, PFT? - Well, he looks awesome. And the commanders playing the same division as Quinion Mitchell. And he's like, "You don't want to have a shutdown corner back." - Wait, is he like, how do you know he's looking awesome? - Because the Eagles social media account, they posted this video where he had an awesome interception, a great interception in practice. - Who threw it at the back up? - No, it was Jalen Hertz that threw it, but it was like, I mean, you talk about a break on the ball and the old saying that great defense beats great offense. - Yeah. - And it was, it's a really good play. Hank, do you want to see it? - I saw it. - I want to see it. - I haven't seen it. - Okay, I actually have not seen it. - Right on cue, that's what the-- - Was it an interceptable ball? - Look at that. Look at that, like a great throw from Jalen Hertz. - Oh. - And then, just like, that's a really good play. - He ran the route for him. - Really? And then he punded the ball into the stands afterwards. And I mean, a lot of people are using this to clown on Jalen Hertz. And I think that's sad and it's kind of indicative where we are as a society. - Agreed. - That we see that and we're just making fun of people. When in reality, it's the James Winston fact that we always talk about, like, he's going to throw a lot of interceptions and that's okay, but as he throws such a nice ball, tight spiral, that, maybe this wasn't even that great of a play by Quinion Mitchell, maybe the ball just kind of stuck in his hand. - Is that true, Max? - I've stopped paying attention. This is that stupidest thing that's been ever talked about on the internet ever. One guy throwing an interception and training stand. - Have you ever been on the internet? - Yeah. - Remember when it was Bart vs. onion? - Yeah. - What? - Yeah. - You remember that shit? - Bart vs. onion. - What's the first word you're saying? - Bart. - Bart. - Bart. - Bart vs. onion. - No, I do not remember. - You don't remember Bart vs. onion? - Dallas pretty stupid. - Max, you're saying Bart, like Bart Simpson? - Yeah. - It was a day when it was Bart vs. onion, yeah. You don't remember that day? onion, dude? - So is this a Shane bit that we're doing right now? - No, no. - Does anyone else? - I don't remember that. - Yeah. - Yes, memes, remembers it, memes, explain it. Bart vs. onion. - Oh, memes, the memes guy does? - Yeah. - Yeah, it was just, it was a hot, the sheree spinner that had to be it. - What is it? - Are you part of that? - Yeah, what's that all you want? - Shane. - We're kind of proving our point that this has been tuberculosis. - No, I stay corrected. 'Cause I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. - It was just like a bunch of people tweeting and being like, you have to make a statement, are you Bart or are you onion? - I think I was Bart. - Bart? - Oh, I'm Bart. - Is there like a meme of Bart Simpson with an onion? - It's Bart. - Well, I don't understand what's so bad about it. - I'm one or the other. - Bart or onion? - I'm a little concerned now. - That's about what you're in black. - Pick which one you are. Are you a Bart or are you an onion? - What is this in context of? - That's it! - And this guy doesn't get it. - He doesn't get it. - No, I don't get it. And I don't get why everyone's freaking out about this when John and the bills did the exact same thing yesterday. - It was a really good interception. That's what I'm saying. - Is anyone noticing that he won't answer Bart for a second? - Yeah. - That's the same. - I guess I'm like onions. - Okay, you're onion. - I got that. - That was a wrong choice, but you're onion. - Max, you remember NFTs? - And that was probably stupider. - That was really good. - Also, if people made a lot of money off NFTs. - Are you a gentle giant guy? - Yeah, those are popping off. - Yeah, Gary V's back with some seriously hot NFTs. Really good investments. - I still have one. - Gentle giant is undergoing a massive glow up. - Really? - Massive. I feel like massive is even an understatement about how big the glow up on gentle giant's going to be. - That sounds like valuable. - Yeah, really valuable. - So not nearly as stupid as people freaking out about a training camp interception. Do you think Gary V's gentle giant is valuable? - He invented a knockoff Pokemon that you don't actually own. You just pretend to buy it online and you pay him money and you think that's a smart and that's what I'm gonna do that all the time. - Fair. - We open Pokemon cards up. We don't actually, that we don't actually have. - Like virtual packs, yeah, that is true. - Yeah, that's good. - Doesn't make it a good idea, but it's fun. - Anyways, I'm a believer in gentle giant. - Me too. - I'm a believer is teams have to post defensive highlights and offensive highlights, if you post a highlight, one side of the ball is gonna look bad from practice. - Agreed. - On November 15, 2023, ex-user Steady E69 posted encouraging as followers to join the movement by changing their profile picture to one of Bart Simpson with an NCAA football logo edited onto his hat. Then user's cyclone retro SN appears to have kicked off the rival onion trend later on November 15th. The user posted an image of an onion with the Iowa State football logo edited onto it. - Iowa State football is basically Penn State. So in. - That's true. - It is, no, Matt Campbell is our coach. - Yeah, so there's a lot of burner accounts or fan accounts that still have the Bart logo with the cat. - Oh wow, that's crazy. - Yeah. - FYI, in case anybody's interested in getting filthy rich. - Yeah, look. - I'm gonna ask about the three characters that you think are kind of the most slept on right now. - Tonight's just termite Creative Crab and Happy Hermit Crab. - Though the gentle giant's about to go through a massive blowup and so if you're a gentle giant collector or you think about picking up a series to NFTS or if you wanna buy some genuine. - Yeah, massive, massive blowup for gentle giant. - I'm reading the Know Your Meme for Bart Versaunian. The third paragraph is, "The Bars d'Oliac podcast discuss the Bart Versaunian trend on November 16th as seen in a post by ex-user, Regan Huggins 12, bang, we're here with Bart Cat and it's picture of me saying I'm a Bart guy, Bart up." So yeah, I was a big Bart. So yeah, it was really not the dumbest, even closely. - No, yeah, take it back, that sounds extremely dumb. - I think it's important to discuss defense in this league because we spend a lot of time talking about offense in the quarterback position. I think we need to talk more about defense. So it does pay me though to see that he did throw that interception because it was more of a spot light on how good Quinn is. - To put it under something you might understand, it's about as painful as the moment you said that you're an onion guy. - I love onions. - We're Bart guys over here. - Zach? - Are you a Bart guy? - That's not me. - I don't know. - You're so good on that. - Sam, which is, yeah, Bart, all right. - Yeah, I've never watched Simpsons. I've said that before on this show. So, and I eat onions all the time. - Okay, my fire fest the week, I got a couple, the first is we had Coach Grudenon on Wednesday, awesome interview. He did, though, I should have stuck up for Hank when he said that when Hank's golfing what happens to the podcast, nothing. I should have stuck up for you. I'm sorry, so that for you. You were golfing when he said it, but not really. - Yeah, well, you're playing mini golf in the backyard. - Yeah, I was two feet away in the backyard. - But I should have stood up for you. I apologize. - It's okay. - Yeah, I didn't take any offense. - Okay, all right. - And then also, I'm sharing a room with Zach, and he snores, but it's like the cutest snore ever, so I really don't wanna tell him. - My bad. - It's so fucking cute, dude. It's like a. - Woo. - Like that. (laughing) - He's Gary from SpongeBob. - Dude, it's so cute. It's not like a big. (snores) Like, I'm sure Max was doing that, right? - Ah, one for two. - Okay, one for two. - I'll take those numbers. - But it was so cute that I like. I was like, I'm not gonna have to have that travel. This is so fucking cute. - The thing about snoring is like, you don't know if you're a snore guy because when you're snoring, you're knocked out. - Right, right. - But congrats on being a cute snore guy. - I guess you could be way worse. - Way worse. - I can muffle snore. I'll go pillow up top today. - What? - He's saying that it sounds cute. - I can go. - I know about it. - If we need him watching Michael it. - No, no, no. - I could go pillow up top. - I had to tell Zach he didn't have to sleep with his phone underneath him to muffle the bomb alarm. I was like, dude, it's okay. - He's acting like it's a grenade. - Yeah. - Zach, I'll, don't worry. I'll take this one. - I was like, it's totally cold, dude. - What? - A carton, huh? - A carton. - What did he say? - A carton. - A carton? That's grenades. - A carton. - Oh, grenades of mini grenades. Also, I think I've talked about it, but I continue to fall behind in the burgers. It's gonna, it's gonna to a crisis moment where I need to, I need to figure something out fast. - What about sliders? - There were sliders tonight and I looked at Max. I was like, I can't do this because it doesn't count. It's just wasting eating burgers. - Well, I mean, is there a punishment if you don't hit it? - No, it's a shame. - Yeah. - Internet shame. - He's two sliders, one burger. Can you do it like that? He's at a point five point five. - I don't know. I didn't even want to get into the topic because then I was gonna, if I ate a couple of sliders and posted it to people, like those are sliders. So I was like, integrity of the game. Max saw the moment. I was literally like, I can't do this. He's like, yeah, you can't. - There were good sliders. - And then I ate like five buffalo chicken sliders. So I'll have Harper and tonight until I eat the ice cream. Zach, my breakfast this week is gonna be that, today specifically, I had two instances, two moments where I was, there was a sobering reminder that maybe when it comes to like the ecosystem of earth being just, you think we're humans, we're at the top of the food chain and then I was quickly reminded that I'm maybe much softer than I thought I was. - What happened? - Just because earlier today and you know, when you're out, two guys were golfing there on the golf cart. Maybe there's some empty water bottles, maybe some ball of sleeves. You need to run to the trash can and throw them away. Make sense, clear up the cart. I go to clear up the cart, first bottle in, hear a little ruffle, that was kind of weird. Go for a can, throw it in. Adult size raccoon in the trash can. And you think like, raccoons are tiny, they're this big. I gaps like a small girl in scurried away. And then for us the day I thought, okay, maybe I am kind of bitch made because raccoons are tiny. - Shit, yeah. - And then they're also adorable. It was kind of, you know what, they're the rascals. I know, but they seem cute until you're one of you one and it's in person and then it just feels like this is the end. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - The surprise raccoon is terrifying. So that made me kind of feel like a bitch. I think that might be the animal that's like one one in terms of if you're ready for a raccoon, it's awesome. And if you're not ready, it's terrifying. - Nope, I think Zach's about to take the better pick. - Go. - And then me and Hank were brainstorming as we do as Mount Rushmore contenders on the patio. - Contenders, I like that. - See, he's not over. (laughing) - And then an adult may, I'm assuming male 'cause he was huge, but I don't body shame. Adult size skunk, just, what's up boys? How are we doing? - Oh, right through the fence. - I didn't see it, Zach jumped out of his chair and so, come inside, come inside, come inside. It was like someone had a gun. Like I ran inside and I was like, skunk. I think worse than a gun. - Yeah, I know, it was going to go on. - The way he reacted, skunked, that would be so funny. - The way he reacted was I've never been more scared for like 10 seconds. In skunk again, little tiny, kind of cute. The cartoons, very adorable. - That's the Mount Rushmore pottersweet, you gotta get skunked. - Sprayed by a skunk. (laughing) - It's so cute. - Zach getting skunked, don't be so funny. - Yeah, because we drew it to Mato Beth. - That's the only way, right? - I think so. - I think so. - Yeah, and then we said true or is that just like good? - I think that is true. - I think it is jellyfish when you pee on it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - In college, I was not ready to take a test and I wanted to day drink one day and I emailed my professor that I got sprayed by a skunk because we had skunks on campus. And today, I think it's probably the best excuse I've ever come up with. - That's a good excuse. - I was like, I can't come to class. I have to go to Walmart and buy a bunch of tomato soup. And yeah, of course, because what am I going to do? Come on. - Yeah, skunk. - Yeah, that is a great excuse. - And then, me and Cole were brainstorming. If we would have gotten sprayed, we got no vessel for soup. Like, there's no, there's no tubs in here. - Yeah. - So you just, you just skunked out and soup. And you got to sleep outside. - That would have been awesome. - I know, it would have been a funny podcast. And you got to sleep as well. - So, if you had just been covered in tomato sauce? - If you had to podcast from like, we'd tie a trash bag like kind of around, like that covers your whole body up to your neck. - Yeah, body shot, I think skunk, maybe you're okay. Face shot. - Face shot. - Yeah, that would suck. - You'd never come back. That would be a different man after that. - You'd probably have to cut all your hair off. - Yeah. - Yeah, we would. All right, that's a good fire for us. - You can't cut your hair off for less than that. - Yeah, it's true. So I've been wracking my brain kind of like, how do you level up in the animal kingdom? My only thought was pushups. - Guns. - Pushups? - You think they'll respect your body? And my head, I was like, well, maybe I do a bunch of pushups. Next time there's a raccoon, I just kind of like, yeet, you know. - Do you think that a raccoon would think that, like, if you were standing, I don't know, who's somebody who's like really good shape and jacked up. Mincey. Or like someone else who's really good. - Congrats on Mincey by the way. He got his boot off today. - Oh, I heard another four weeks. - Oh. - I only saw the video where he went up to the whiteboard and shot zero days until Mincey's boot comes off. - Yeah. - But I think I just assumed that he did everything to the doctor ordered and he got his boot off today. I heard that I heard he got a bad report and it might have seen him. - I'm just gonna assume he got his boot off today. - Let's see. - Let's see. - He got his boot off. - We're not ready for another month of that. - No. - But yeah, like if a squirrel or a raccoon or, I don't know, like a coyote or a wolf saw somebody that was like, you know, in relatively bad shape like your typical podcaster. Or like next to a jacked up dude. Would they feel like more threatened by the jacked up guy? - I don't know if the animal's more threatened. I think it's more so like, I played the scenario my head of like, if this raccoon or a skunk did attack. I was like, my changes of coming out on top are probably lower than someone who is, who would have to go hand to hands with like a raccoon. - What's your move? - If a raccoon comes at you. - You hope you can get the kick off, right? And if you can't get the kick off, maybe like a swing and throw or twist. - I think you handled it perfectly. - Running on top. - Running on top. - Yeah. - But it was a masculating. All right, rowback question. R-H-O-P-A-C-K dot com promo code take. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, Polo's, hoodies, jager shorts, rowback.com. promo code take memes and max. You guys have fire fest real quick. Get anything? - Yeah, I did worst travel week and in history of travel weekends. I think this weekend. - Oh no, what happened? Oh yeah, I remember. - Do you guys only know half of it? - Oh. - So I had a wedding shocker. I go to, I go to the most popular guy in the world. But this one was my, but when there's two, when there's two people, you just have to go to so many more, you go to double the weddings. - Whatever. - Wow. (laughing) - I thought about it like that. - Are you close to being done with wedding season? - No, that's crazy. Now all of my-- - March 9th. - What? - Do you have a wedding ring? - Free, okay. - Actually, I only-- - I think you knew that to celebrate. - I only know up until 2026, I can't even think of 2027. But now all of my best friends are getting married. - Wait, what was, who's getting married before that? - It's just regular friends. - I've only been in the party, like a wedding party wants. Now I'm gonna be in like-- - Wait, you're about to head bachelor party and wedding season? - I'm gonna have to say no to a lot of bachelor parties. - Okay. - Or maybe do like a day. - Okay. - You're saying no to your best friend's bachelor parties? - I'll go for a little bit. - Whatever. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm probably gonna end up doing whatever. Yeah, so I'm probably gonna end up doing it. - So you're still like, if you had to go, like 'cause everyone gets to a point, like I don't have any more weddings. I don't have anyone who's getting more, you know, like I don't know anyone who's gonna get married anytime soon. Like it's just, I'm out of weddings, you know? You're needy, like are you, where are you in your weddings in terms of percentage? - I would say like 52%. - Okay, all right, more than halfway. - But like the big ones are all coming within like the next couple of years. - Okay, geez. Okay. - So. - All those other ones for a bunch of losers, yeah. - No, I like, that's the other thing. - Anyone out there that has had sex after marriage? - I hate getting to weddings, but whether I'm at it. - Yeah. - What about the one friend? What about your one friend who everyone thinks is not gonna get married? When do you think they'll get married? - I have someone in particular - Yeah, I know. Everyone has that guy. What's his name? - He listens. And I have no problem saying it. It's my friend Kyle. - Okay, Kyle, when he did Kyle get married. Well, he's the last one, that's Kyle. - Yeah. - Yeah, Shut up Kyle. - He was, yes, he was the guy who was at my wedding with his shirt off within like 15 minutes of the dance floor like being, being open. So he will get married when? I don't know. He's going to be looking very intently of this answer and being very anxious about what I say here. And I do like that he will be anxious about it. Okay. Love that. I'm going to say five and a half years. All right. So you have five and a half years. Yeah. Five and a half years. I like. Hank has also met him a couple times. And I like that you agreed with him. Say five, five years over and I'll take the over. Okay, okay. Could he be a guy that does like a like a two, three month wedding? Like spur of the moment? Out of rock. No, he's probably going to be the friend that did that you think is never going to get married. And then he meets a girl and he gets married like three months later. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So are you tell us the travel? Now I got the late six hours on Friday and I was at the airport lounge drinking during those six hours. It got canceled. And then we got rebuked for a seven a.m. flight Saturday morning. I was with another one of my our friends here Jack McCarthy and our significant others. And we were already drinking for so long that we ended up getting continued to drink at the airport hotel, which we decided to book that night. Okay. Got buckled in Rosemond, Illinois. Yeah. Buckled. Woke up at five a.m. went back to the airport as hungover as I possibly could be battled through it. Ended up having a great time at the wedding. Woke up Saturday or Sunday morning clear as clear as day. No delays had a great seat. We were actually planned it land early in Chicago. We get the thing of like, oh, there's some weather coming in. Chicago is making is delaying our travel for a little bit. So we were taking circles around O'Hare Airport for like 40 minutes. And then they tell us actually we have to go to Indianapolis. So then we took an hour and a half while we were still in the plane, we had to go to Indy and then I hope so. I decide I decide I'm I decide I'm getting getting it just going to get to get the car from Indy drive three hours to Chicago. Get in our back though. I order I reserve a car, go through security. I get a text being like boarding now. We are now departing in the next 15 minutes. So I was like, oh, shit, we got to get back through. I go back. I try to get back through security securities. Like this isn't this isn't your airport. You can't go back through security. TSA comes around. They say, actually, it's okay. He can go back through security. Go back through security. Talk to a TSA agent. They're like, I don't know why you got that text. We're not boarding. I go back to the rental car place drive three hours. It's a worse travel weekend. Oh, yeah, a road trip partner. No, my other, my Jack McCarthy scumbag decided to wait it out. And also it took him significantly longer to get back. Oh, you made the right choice. That's how she makes you feel a bit much better. Also, my wife was there too. So I did have a road trip. Oh, yeah, I thought you were. No, no, whatever. That was fine. Hey, can I also I happen to Michigan during the the night of the selection someday? World baseball classic final. Yeah, Hank was cheering on Dominican Republic. He was. And then we also had to fly out Monday morning and I had to go drop off a rental car and then pick up my car that was at O'Hare and then and then drive it to the other airport in Chicago. And it was I'm here. That was it. Meams fire fest. So this week me, Hank and Zach have been working off site. We haven't seen a lot of people at the company. And then today I saw all business Pete for the first time. Yeah. And he just hit me with a nice tits. Oh, wow. Now, meams, he's fat though. Yeah, but I guess they were just popping. But you should have said no, you think the tits were popping or you think he's referring to the picture. I wore a nipple shirt today. Oh, meams. I have a question for you. It's funny that you brought that up because I actually I saw all business Pete at the end of the day and he just he was telling a story and did you threaten his life? I don't think so. Yeah, that you did. You do that. You threaten people's lives. I'll realize. Yeah. I know what I heard him. I heard him saying that to somebody and I was like, wait, did you say that meams threaten to kill you? He goes, yep. When? Apparently you were complaining about the internet. The internet was slow one day and you threaten to kill him. Oh, get a rubber. That's good. Keep that. That's good. Yeah. Court. Yeah. It's possible. That's yeah. That's what it sounds like me, but I don't I do not recall. Yeah. No, if it's on writing, I can't tell it. It might be writing probably on slack. Pete, Pete shouldn't be saying that. That's fucking fucked up. He's got a fuck. I'm on your seagull, but I think that's maybe the guy. He walks around with that in the back of his head. Like when he sees you, he's like, oh, that's the guy that threatened to kill me. Damn, the internet's been working great. So it's problem solved. Yeah. You got results. You should ask them to show you his socks. He wears long black compression socks up to his knees. Every single bag. I think I take Pete, you know, in my apocalypse bunker bag, you would, well, you'd like, you have to kill him first to get all those limbs and shit in there. He's a big boy. Yeah. But I think he'd be good in apocalypse. Yeah, he probably would. All right. Good show, boys. Very fun. Little loopy at the end. Always fun when it gets to there though. When we're on the road, kind of lose our minds. Let's finish with numbers. Five. No one wants all this. You do not want to win this. Seven, two, thirty nine. I don't know. No one wants to win this. Jacob said 70 memes. Shane said 15. He says four. Colton said 88. Is it four? Okay. Here we go. 90. Everyone's safe. I think the only time I might have threatened him was super bowl. Now it's coming back to you. It was I mean, it was big interview. James Winston. Yeah. He was just like, yeah, I'll take a couple hours. It took 14 hours to upload. And since he's telling people I was going to kill him, they decided to install the internet the next day, even though we record it on the Sunday. That's that I bet you 100% what the fuck this company? There are people at this company who work in the business side and tech side who still after 10 years don't realize we record every Sunday night. Yeah. And then Stefan hit me with a, you know how much that cost. And then I was like, all right, bet. He dead. All right. You asked for it. So yeah. So yeah, I said it once. All right. Good show. Dr. Shield. Pardon my take. Yeah. High book. Hell yeah. Happy birthday to John Fidelberg. Oh, fights. Go fights. I do not want to know fights age. I don't either because he's always the young guy. You in fights are always the young guys. Yeah. He's not 40. No. If he was, I would be very upset. Happy birthday to Magic Johnson. Happy birthday to Mike for Abel. It's crazy. What? What's his age? If you say I can deal with one number, I can't deal with another. I'm pretty sure he's five years older than him. So he's 38. Yeah, I can't deal with that. I could have done 37. 37. What has been fine? That was the exact. 37. I was thinking of four years. I can't deal with 38. If it's 39, no, no, no. Jackson. You're the young. You guys are the young guys. No. Happy birthday to Tim Teebo. Happy birthday. I don't know if you heard this mic. It's Mike for Abel. Hank. Oh, hell yeah. Coach. Oh, that's why their boys love that. Who? Flames and fights. Oh, yeah. Birthday. Birthday bros. Happy birthday to me. Meal Akunis. Hmm. Happy birthday. Halle Berry. One of the best ever do it. Damn. Happy birthday to Boban. Boban. What's one? Okay. Happy birthday to announce his name. What? Marina Vitch. I don't know. What? Happy birthday to Chief Keef. R.I.P. Hey, birthday. Nipsey Hustle. R.I.P. Happy birthday to Napoleon. R.I.P. What was the first one? Chief Keef confirmed Chief Keef not dead. Not dead? Not dead. No. Who am I thinking? I fully not dead. Yeah. Who am I thinking of? King Vaughn. I was thinking about King Vaughn. Yeah. Yeah. Chief Keef. Happy birthday. That's why I called the Coach of the Wizards. Chief Keef. It's the last name. R.I.P. Happy birthday to Ed. Yeah. Right. Can we check double check? Yeah. And I might. Also last, not least memes. You know who? Who? Oh, you weren't ready for this one? No. The star of Kangaroo Jack. - The one? - Anthony Anderson. - The only Anthony Anderson. - Oh! - And it would spoil the punchline memes to chat memes. (laughing) Nice tips. - I thought you were gonna say the kangaroo. - I called Jerry earlier. Looks like I meant to call Jerry Jerry. - Oh no. What happened? - Did he pick up? - Someone might have taken like a shit in the living room of the place we're staying earlier. Like, it's never smell worse. I couldn't believe it. Now I was trying to call Jerry and then Jerry will come to call me back and I was like, "Did you take it?" And then he was like, "Oh, it's Jerry O'Connell." - What did he say? - We just had work side of her camp. - Oh, okay. - Nice. - That's all he said. Jerry just said, "I'm gonna talk to you again." - No, he talked, we talked a little bit. - Jerry said, "All right, I'll let you go." - We said the scene I had to explain while I was calling Jerry in the first place and we'd be back in fourth. But yeah, it was like a unnecessary 15 minute conversation. Now I was 50 minutes. It was great to hear from Jerry. - Do you say, but it was weird being like, he's like, "Wait, why did you call me?" And I was like, "Well, I was trying to figure out who got to the bottom "of who pooped in our living room, "but still haven't got to the bottom." - Who pooped in that place? - But the smell went away. - Somebody pooped in this living room? - It smelled so bad in here earlier for like an hour and a half straight. And it went away, but it was-- - We couldn't find him. - I was disturbed. - He was like somebody shooting the air duct. - There was shit somewhere. - There had to have been. - Did anybody take a shit? - Not me. - Not Jerry. - Or Jerry O'Connell. - I took one at the halfway house and the sun is so bright that when I went in there and it was dark in there, I literally took a shit blind. You know when you go inside after being outside for a long time? I couldn't see anything. - Brothers, blind, shit brothers. - I just want to say sorry to Chief Keith. Old respect, man. You're really, I'm sure you really get at what you do. I didn't mean to, I just want to happen to see you say, Max. - I'm gonna have a shit for like two days. - Yeah, what's up with that, dude? I'm like a four time a day shitter. And I'd like six cups of coffee. - We talked about that this morning. I mean, Max, I had to get up early and he was just like, this is bad 'cause we're, we're getting, we're leaving the house before my shit. And I was like, oh God. - Yeah. - He's never shit. - I never shit. - But it was like on my mind for a while this morning. I was like, this guy's shit. - I was thinking about it. I don't remember what I, I think I shit before my shower yesterday. But not, maybe. - I don't know. - Get this shit going. - It's not enough. (laughing) (groaning) - Love you guys. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - What happens when you lock 18 co-workers in an office for one week to compete for a quarter million dollars of cash? This is Surviving Bar Stools Season 5 presented by Rumble Premium, where each episode releases three hours early. So get it ad free before anybody else only when you join Rumble Premium, new episodes of Surviving Bar Stools will be released every Sunday and Wednesday, leading up to the Labor Day finale on September 7th. You can watch Surviving Bar Stools at 5 p.m. on Rumble Premium and everywhere else at 8 p.m. Eastern.