Juno Birch’s Ol’ Timey All-American BBQ!

[MUSIC] >> You really really gorgeous, I love this outfit. >> Thank you. >> It's very, who does it give? It gives, I mean, it gives, Dale. >> Yes. >> But you're always giving Dale. >> Yeah, I'm always giving Catherine. >> All right. >> You guys are in the studio. >> In the studio we have Juno Birch here, we have today's extra terrestrial. I don't know, extra terrestrial. >> She's having a stroke. >> No, I almost said extra testicle, that is not it. Today's extra terrestrial co-host, Hale's from the land of the UK. She's a SIM connoisseur, an incredible artist. It is the one and only Juno Birch. >> Hello, what have I been looking? Hello, hello, hello, I have a mask. >> We just had you like, what, a couple months ago? >> Maybe. >> Maybe? >> Maybe, yes. >> And I feel like, especially since you don't live here, I'm like, oh, we had her, I probably won't have her back for however long. And then I found, we met up this week and I was like, how are you going to be here? And then we just, we -- >> October 3rd. >> October 3rd. >> October 3rd. >> Do you know about October 3rd? >> Mean Girls? >> Yeah. >> Yes. >> It's October 3rd. >> It's October 3rd. >> Wait, I think of you. What you don't realize is, the UK people know everything about American TV and movies. >> I know. And when we know anything British, we expect a lot of extra credit. >> Yes. >> I know. That is true. >> It's like, did you know that I've seen little British people like, who cares? Or when I tell people that I love the British office, they have a very warm response to that actually. They're always like, oh, that's good. >> We often find that you don't understand our humor as well. But I think it's certain things. The office is one of them. >> Yeah. >> So if you watch the office in your American actual points. >> That's what I think so too. And it's only like one season, I think. It's not a long watch. >> Yeah. >> And American office is like nine seasons. Wait, what about, do I get extra points for, what else is extra points? I mean, is spice world a given? Who cares? >> Spice skills. >> Spice world. >> Oh, no, no. I thought that was in Mary. Oh, no, that's a British movie. >> I think so. >> Did you know Richard O'Brien crawls out of the toilet? >> Oh, yes. Oh, yes. And he goes, my life has been a meaningless lie. Love. >> Love it. >> Love. And then also, what's my other favorite British program? I guess I would say, I don't know. What's your title? >> You're using Catherine Tate. I know Catherine Tate. >> Yeah. >> Catherine loves. He's a gay man. >> He's a gay man. >> He's a gay man. >> The line that I always say to Katia is, we've just had new tunnel groove in our bathroom. >> You will die. >> That's, she loves, oh my God, she wanted to see Catherine and don't marry so bad. >> Has she got to say it? >> No, I was over there and I went, I had to, I was sick. I had to do mighty hoopla. Love mighty hoopla. Did mighty hoopla. And I was like, I'm going to go to a play wide there. So I was so sick, my arthritis was like killing me. And I got there and I was sick and I was like, I'm going to go anyway. So I buy a matinee ticket to the Hunger Games live on stage. Which I realized. >> That's the thing in the UK. >> In London, the Hunger Games live on stage. >> Is it a musical? >> Kind of. It's the plot of the book, the movie, as a stage play. And I left it in a mission because I was so sick, but it was right when Katniss goes into the Hunger Games. So I didn't get to see any on stage murdering. >> All right. >> But it was kind of crazy. >> One thing I really want to see really, really bad is a little shop of horror is so badly on Broadway. I've never seen it because I'm always in and out of New York, I never get time to stay. >> You know what you got to do? When you go to New York, you got to lock out some time just to see plays because I've seen a little shop twice. >> Yes, it becomes there. >> Oh, go see that. >> Oh, I love it. >> No, I've seen it. >> Oh, you love it. >> I got to see the original cast. >> How was it? >> Oh, my God. >> The best thing I've ever seen on stage is wicked until I watched Death Becomes her. That is up there. >> And that was the best. >> Oh, my God. >> Do you sell the original cast? It was like Megan Hiltey. >> Megan Hiltey and Jennifer Seymard, Michelle Williams, yes. >> That's fierce. >> And me and Gabriel and Ray just grabbed each other's knees and went, "I've got to perform that for Boise, I think." >> You are? >> For the gay news. >> We're doing Boise this weekend, we're doing Boise Pride, which is so crazy because you're here, and then I was chuking at my schedule and I was like, "Are you at Boise on Friday?" And you were like, "Yeah." I was like, "Me too." Because we hug out Sunday. Monday. Labor day. >> No, it wasn't Labor day. >> It wasn't Labor day. It was just Sunday. >> It was just Sunday. Oh, we went to Michael Henry's birthday. >> Yes, we did. >> Okay. >> Yes, and I got bitten. >> Buy mosquitoes? >> Buy. I'm still a kid. >> For mosquitoes? Everybody says there's a mosquito in my back, right? >> The garden's infested with leaves. >> That is not true. >> Mr. Wonderful says he gets bitten and he does, but I think he never bite me. >> Well, usually it's Phil who gets bitten, but now he's got diabetes, so I'm the one that gets bitten. >> I know he may lie. Oh, if there's no sugar in his blood, let's just go to her. >> Yeah. You know, it was so funny to me, Phil, because he has diabetes and he's learning the ups and downs of that. He was at the house and he was like, "I think my blood sugar's low," and I snapped into action. I was like, "What do you need? The only food we have is an English muffin." >> You were lucky for things that said English on them. >> I just like, all I have is an English muffin, which I think is an American thing. Do you guys don't call them English muffins? Do you? >> Yes, I think we do. >> Oh. >> A muffin? Yeah, because a muffin is a cupcake. >> Oh, right. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> A muffin that's a cupcake. >> Oh, okay, understood. >> It's all toxic turvy. >> But I saved his life. I put some jelly and stuff and butter on it and saved his life. >> And while I was just next to the pool, like- >> Well, you were just drunk. >> I'm not. >> Drunk and smoking and laid out. >> Yeah. >> Often, but I was pretty streaming on Sunday. >> I'm like an embargo on myself from drinking. >> I've been pickled for like a week. >> Do you remember me reading Tarot cards in your looong room in a very Southern accent? >> I was giving everybody their future very lot that we talked and we unlocked each other's futures together, didn't we? >> I will say I try to read the cards from what they actually mean, but you had no knowledge and you were winging it and it still felt real. >> I'm quite good at that. >> Of lying, at lying? >> No, it's fortune telling. I think I learned that on Sunday and I looked like a fortune teller as well. >> I would say, if only I had outfits for it. >> I know. >> I've only had something to wear. I went to see you at Mickey's on Monday. >> Yes. >> And girl, I was like, I had been drinking all weekend. It's been a stressful time, as you know. I was drinking all weekend. And then, not all day, just at nights, but like gay nights where you wake up like, so Sunday, Monday I go, Mr. Werner goes, we got to go to Mickey's. I was like, who's a faggot idea was this? >> Who's like, you told Juno that you were going, I was like, we are going. I already packed Mark him up, Michael's drunk being like, I'm coming to see you tomorrow. I was like, we're going, I had so much fun at Mickey's. That was one of the best directions I've seen in a while. >> Will it was an iconic cast? Wasn't it? >> It really was. It was you. Raven. >> Yes. >> Morgan McMichael's. Pandora Box. >> I'm Sakura. >> Yes. >> Is that it? Wasn't there one more, oh, Mariah Perros, Blancy, other? >> Yes. >> It was like a very stacked cast. >> It was fabulous. >> And all the famous drag queens were there. >> I know. >> What clen was there? >> Yereka was there. >> Yereka was there. >> You're walking across the stage. >> She was there. >> That was Bob Dragque, Naomi Spalls. >> Bob Dragque, Naomi Spalls. >> Monae. >> She was in a long, straight, law-roach wig. >> Oh, yes, she was. >> Yeah. >> Was that, was she, hmm. >> She wasn't in makeup. >> Oh, I just wanted to wear, she wanted to show up to the local drag show and wear a long expensive human wig and be like, you bitches can never. >> You know, the thing is, is when I'm not in drag, like this to me is not my drag drag. Do you know what I mean? This is just what I look like when I go to Ralph's, but sometimes I get worried that people think I'm in drag when I'm in the audience because I don't like going to drag shows in drag. It feels rude. >> You think it's rude? >> Yeah. >> I think it feels rude. When I saw Little Shop of Horrors, who was sitting behind me, Shailene Whitley, their name, Whitley? She was sitting behind me and I was in drag because Brittany and I were doing the cover shoot for that YouTube Hollywood reporter thing, Brittany Roske, and she got to stick us to Little Shop and I was like, I've seen it, but I'll go again, great. And I go to sit in the seat and they put me in Brittany and write when the music starts because they were like, we don't want people to bother you guys, they said, great. I don't care. But I'm in drag because there's no time to go to get up drag. So I sit down, Shailene Whitley's four feet tall saying behind me and I go, hi, oh my God. >> And I watch the whole show like this because I don't want to block people. >> I'm just exactly the same. >> Because what are you going to do? >> Okay, exactly. What are you going to do? You're going to sit indignantly in hair like this and block the person behind you. >> Do you know what I did at the Beatle Juice, Beatle Juice, Premiere? >> What? >> I went in, you're not Phyllis Dillowick. I was wearing on Monday. >> Yes. >> So I was wearing next to Beatle Juice, Premiere and it was so high and they sat me in the front row. And I was like, oh my God, no, I can't block everyone's view. So I stuck with thumbers in my in my lace to go take the wig off because no one's going to see me. It's pitch black. I'll just show it back on when the movie's finished. >> Right. >> Then Tim Burton, Michael Keaton, and Winona Radar and Catherine O'Hara just come storming in and I pulled my wig back on straight away and Tim Burton pointed at me and said, keep the wig on. >> He said, what the fuck is that? >> He said, keep your god damn wig on. He said, you better be a wig under there if you're taking that off. What if you took that off and then you had a long straight blonde wig and just let it hit the floor? Like, okay, we can watch the movie now. Did you like Beatle Juice, Beatle Juice? >> I loved it. I loved it. >> I loved it too. >> Listen, I felt like there would need to be, I feel like we could have done with one less storyline in it and move it to the third one. And also, Catherine O'Hara's death was not, I wanted more of a build up to it because it was the two rattlesnakes that just, she died. >> Yeah. but I want to pay. to Beelju's Beelju's Beelju's Beelju's, there was a salon in the Underworld, and imagine if I could go and play the woman that works in the salon in the Underworld. We need that to happen. You know, I really like to Beelju's Beelju's, I liked the Willem DeFoe guy with the brain exposed. Yes. He was a detective, right? Yeah. I love that shit. I love, oh, and I love the like a 60s Carnaby Street dead girl in the window. Oh, like the cake scene as well. It was just a lot of good. I watched her for the second time recently, because I'd only seen it when it came out. And I liked it even better the second time. Yeah. I don't know. I think I appreciated more of the second time. And Kathryn O'Hara, Rest in Peace, she really brought back that character in such a good way. Yeah. When she's like, when she's, she's screaming her head off in the living room. Yes. And she's like, what are you doing? I'm releasing my primal scream or something like that. I can't remember what she says. That's you. Yeah. I think I survived that, that character. John. Yeah. My robots. Do you think she would put, do you think that she's on your mood board as far as like your personal dress? Who, how did you figure out a dress like this? No, I don't think, I don't think Delia Deets is on there. I think I've had my hair like when I'm not wearing wigs, he's always been a bit of a scroll back up to headscarf moments. Yeah. When we first met, you had like a Marilyn running to the post office five. I was like, hair tied up with a curl and that, that day there's the first time I met you and I remember you pulled your phone and the first thing you said to me, you had a picture of Fern Mayo from Jawbreaker and you said, that's you. But it wasn't Fern Mayo. It was Violet. It was Violet actually. Yes. When she's all like Horde out, it wasn't like nerdy Fern Mayo. That would have been me. Like here, this is you before she got a makeover. That'd be awful. Oh, my God. We met at the Albatross show, right? Albert Schloss. Albert Schloss. Is that what it's called? Yes. It's like German cabaret. Yes. Sussex. Yes. Sussex. I've gotten quite drunk there too. I remember there was one time we were having food and you just randomly stood up and was like, I was dead. You were in your, you, you, I think you were getting into your DJ era. I think so. So you were just like, something that happens to me that if we're somewhere, if it's and I like the song, oh, I love this song. I need you a few drinks with me and then I'll sit back down. Oh, I love, you know, we both love the Sims. I love the Sims when they do that dance. There's that one. I think they do is a group that's like, it's like writing a horse like this. Oh, wait. It's called. Um, what was he called? Um, It's one where they'll all join in. It's not schmooz. It's called something. It's called something like that. When they all joining together and they all are doing, yeah, yeah. Love that shit. Oh, you must miss. I love you on YouTube. You must miss doing YouTube. I do. I really do miss doing YouTube. And the reason I stopped doing it all the time was because I just, I'm really bad with technical things. Really? Yeah. And I get very overwhelmed. I had all my videos on YouTube. All of these. What program do you use? Final cut. That's what I use. And I just, I couldn't, I was easy to be in lockdown because there was nothing else to do. Right. But now I would love to have my own little talk show and make it the do no show. Oh, yes. I want to draw people while I'm interviewing them. Like a little set. I want a little like QVC moment with rubber hands. Can I be the DJ? Please. Yes. Can we reel you in the back? Yeah. What if you're Ellen? And then like, I'm like the DJ over here that you could be like, am I right? Schmitty or whatever? And I'm like, sure. Yeah. And then I play music as the guests want gone. Yes. Oh, like him in Hey Queen. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Or we could cut a hole in a coffee table and have you come. With your head, your bald head just comes out of the coffee table like madem Leotor and haunted mansion. That would also be really iconic for you. Have you done her for a video or Halloween or something? No, I've never. Maybe I should do with this Halloween. I've watched some really good videos of people making a prop. They make a clear ball, right? Cut a hole in it. Then they take a white wig head, the foam, and then they do the hair and then if they set them on the table, they'll put a projector over here in the room and project the face onto it. Like when you walk in, the face is like actually moving and I think that's so cool. I love madem Leotor. And then I've seen people wear costumes where it's like their head and it's a long tablecloth. Yes. That always looks like world's tallest table though. What was it? It was the Disney Disney thing that did it recently and then Megan Hiltey. Megan Hiltey. Oh, she didn't. She did madem Leotor in the Disney, um, yes, what's it called? The presentation of what's coming for the ride and they're up front or whatever. And she looked fabulous. She is gorgeous. I've always wanted to do the space helmet, but I feel like I'd have to have the face cut out because he's going to get steam. Do you know what I do for Super Disco? Because that's like a space theme. I have this stick, almost like Marie Antoinette, like the mask with a stick on it, this long stick with the front of a globe. So when you walk out, the audience sees your head in there, but it's not closed in the back. And that way you can just like take it on. Well, when you finish this tour, I have some really good spaces. Cheers. Oh, ask it question. Well, this is my version. When you're not around to tell me my fortune, this is all I have. So what should we say? I'm, how about how is our show going to go this weekend in Boise? I'm sad. I can't watch you Friday or Saturday, but it's fine. You see me on Monday. You know, how is our show going on in Boise? Do we need it bald? Is that a good side? Do you know what that means? You have to shave your head. No AC. No. You know, I checked the weather. It's 76, which isn't awful for your life. What's that? I need to get used to that. Don't I? Do you think you'd ever move here? Because if you do, you're going to have to get used to Fahrenheit. Yeah. I'd move here. Do you know about inches and stuff? Inches. Yes. Inches. Oh, I've been, I've been weighing myself in pounds. Why? I've gone down, watch 600 pound life over time. So I got used to it. It's my moment. I forgot to tell my mum or my sister or whatever and say it's in pounds. They're like, oh, God. I said, gas station the other day. Oh. Gas station. They're going to tell you. But the thing is I can't get to, woo, I'm moving to America because people get mad. They're like, how dare you as a trans woman moved to America, but in a lot of ways, I feel safe for a trans woman LA, then I do in Manchester Piccadilly gardens sometimes. I guess I trust a trans person's instinct. I trust a trans person to say this is why I feel the safest. Mm hmm. I do. I went into, um, was it Ralph's? I went into Ralph's. Well, that's a trans hotspot. And there was one person who was a customer, one person who was working there, both trans and I turned to Philly and I just said, I feel at home. No, you should. I think they only allow two at a time. So why don't you have to leave? It's a one in one out situation. I'm not going anywhere. Right. Whereas like, I mean, of course, you're right. Los Angeles is a specific case. I've also learned in Los Angeles, never assume someone's straight. If I can't tell their gay, I also don't assume they're straight because there's a lot of people here who do gay stuff and maybe don't have anybody's gay. You know, the kids now don't even say they're gay or straight. They just be like, I just like people. I know. You know, I actually have to message the promoter of boys here because they said the daytime thing was kid friendly and I said, can I do sweet transvestite? I feel like you should be allowed to. Of course, yes. And he was like, yes, every man and child and woman should know they should. Yes. You sing that live, right? Yes. I've seen videos of it. You really eat that shit up. Thank you. It's one of the only songs that I'm super comfortable singing. You sound amazing on it. Thank you. I go for a bit of a comp to comp to read. Did you ever do, would you ever do like a stage play like, yes, maybe not Rocky, but like a play? One of my dream roles is to play Frank converter. We talked about these last time. Is they often cast really butch guys to play. Yeah, they do. And I think we need a bit of a Le Verne Cox sort of, you know, she played Frank converter. That's true. She was gorgeous. Yeah. And you know what I did. I remember seeing that movie I'm losing it once. I really loved the opening science fiction double feature in that. You only saw Rocky Horror once. No, the remake. Oh, right. I see. I love it called a remake, but the one with Le Verne Cox, that was made for TV. Yes. That one. I loved the opening number. Science fiction double feature. The girl with the Usher outfit. I thought that was really awesome because you can't just do the lipstick. You know what? I don't like. I've seen it all the way through. Oh, it's a great opening number. For sure. I used to get licorice black to do science fiction double feature when she opened for me on tour with attack. That's cool. Cool. Because it was all space alien theme, but she kind of was like this black and white usher. I think instead of going, she had like hard candy. So she just whipped it people. Me pop was just here and she said she did an open number where she said, you get a car, you get a car and she would throw keys into the audience. Handfuls of keys at people. Imagine being drunk and being hit with metal. I mean, they probably love that I'm praising. They, I think they do. I think listen, for the prices of drinks in Los Angeles, at least you go home with the prize. And who knows that key goes to something? The drinks here. Oh, girl. There's two things that are scary about the drinks here. One of the things is like your banks got drained from what to drinks. And the other thing is a cup full of vodka. It's they're really strong. I had one drink. That not this Monday, the Monday before at Mickey's, I was, I fell off. I my buffalo trainer got stuck in between a stool and the stage. And I fell and whack my car six on the stage. [BLANK_AUDIO] - That's my coccyx. - I whacked my coccyx. (laughing) - She's a medical doctor, we didn't mention that. - Yes. (upbeat music) - I have to ask if you were gonna move out here to America, you've traveled all over the United States. What areas are you charmed by? - Well, I'd probably move here for, 'cause whenever I'm here, there's so much work all the time, I can do so much here in LA. But if there was a dream place to live, it would either be a little suburban home in Burbank. (laughing) A little pool, a little cattie-o, a little lawn, flamingos, very humble, just two bedrooms. Or I would move in the middle of like Sedona. - Oh, wow. - Oh, Arizona, I love the heat. - I feel like a lizard. I feel the same, if I'm not in drag, I love a hundred degree day. - Yeah. - Make it hot. I think it's good for my skin, I like sweating. - Well, I break out when I'm in the UK when I come here, spot's gone. - That's how I feel. My skin is so dry in Wisconsin, 'cause it's so cold and dry. And when I move to LA and I'm sweating all the time, it's a lot better for me. - I wonder what it's like in Florida, 'cause that's moist. - It's so moist. What do you think of Florida? I feel like UK people love Florida. - They do. Everybody who's been in America's been in Miami. - Do you know what it is? - I think it's 'cause there's so many direct direct. - Oh, 'cause it is like real cold. - It's Orlando, it's Disneyland or that sort of thing. - That's true. - And it's also Miami Beach is kind of like holiday, whereas LA Beach isn't as holiday. - Right. - Do you know what I mean by holiday? - Do you mean vacation? - Vacationy. - That's it. Okay. - I'm thinking like Santa Claus. I'm like, what is she talking about? I have to ask why did the UK take away Paul's Drag Race UK? - Ooh, that is a good question. I really found out about the other day. - Me too, I have no idea. And I find you responsible somehow. So I need you to explain to everybody what you did. - She's managed to go and do these tours without going on the show, it's over. It's over. - But why don't you think? - I, well, I think there was a time when drag trended, right? There was like a height of drag. And I think anything that trends has to come down a little bit before it goes back up again. And I think we're in that period at the moment where the mainstream loves drag and then it's kind of dipped a little bit. So maybe it's something to do with that. Or maybe it's just, I don't know, they. - I think, I think drag needs, I think this like, we're thinking of a trend dipping, but I think of this as a time of distillation of like only the strong will survive and drag. Only people who really wanna do it will be here. Only audience members who really love drag are gonna be what? 'Cause you're right, I think it's kind of doing this a little. And I think in a few years, we're gonna have a big batch of new drag audience members, new drag queens. - Yes. - And this can be very revitalizing. 'Cause I think the whole scene needs, you know that thing where you have a dollhouse and you go, I don't like how many this is laid out, just throw it all out. - Well, like Michelle Fyfe or in Batman Returns. - Yes, I think the drag scene could use a little bit of a recombobulation or reimagining. And I think like it's gonna be new audiences, new people, with it swings back the other one. I think it's gonna be a new vibe. - I hope so. - 'Cause I think some of it, I love drag, I really do. I think we're gonna have to go back to gay bars and being gross and weird for gay people. And then the drag is gonna get really potent and crazy again. - Yeah, I mean, for me, I've been through a weird thing with drag lately. I mean, last time I was here with you, I hadn't done drag in, I think until Monday, I don't think I'd been in full wig in a very, very long time. - That's right. - I've been in a mid-life crisis. I think that's what's happening. And I stopped doing the blue. - Right. - And then I was like, and then I was like, I don't need, I think the line for me in and out of drag is very blurred now. - Where is it? - It used to be completely, it would be a big blue alien clown. And then it'd be just like me a little dressed down. But now it's just this, the line is blurred for me now. - Yeah, I know this isn't your drag, but I mean, I don't remember you dressing so big. Let's say five years ago. It's almost like you were hiding out of drag a little bit. - Yes. - And now I see what you're saying, which is, 'cause I saw you Monday. It was the first time I've seen you on stage with your natural skin color in my whole life. And I was like, wow. In some ways, I was like, that's the girl from my backyard a couple days ago. But in some ways, I'm like, the performance, the character, it's still you. - Yeah, but it's not you. - The only difference is the color. - The color and the color and also I can see your eyes. You used to hide your eyes more as the whole thing. - Well, it started because I could, it was really bad at eye makeup. (laughing) And that was my excuse is that I just had the little lid spoken over the top. But then I would only take the sunglasses off if people were paying me for a show. So if it was like you were coming to my tall shows and take the glasses off and do like a psycho thing. - How could you see? I couldn't. - Have you not seen the amount of times I've fallen over on stage? - Oh my gosh, you've got them with you. - I have had them for years. (laughing) I mean, but these are so tiny. Do you secretly, when you're a Juno, when you were in this era, do you secretly look over or under? - I'll tell you if I put them on, let me see. I can't actually. - I think this year for it's all murky, guys. - Put them on on Monday. I did the number in them on Monday. I started with them. - You did? - Yeah. You were too drunk to remember, but it's true. Okay, so the way I would look, he said I would look down. That I don't look over. - You look down. - That I look down, 'cause if you see. - Oh yeah, it does kind of look more like you're looking into space, which is funny. - Yeah. (laughing) - Okay, that foot goes there, that foot goes there, that kind of thing. - Yeah. Did you end up liking those sunglasses I gave you? - Luffin. - Luffin. I nearly wore them today, but then it was like green pink red. No, that's just too green and red. - Yeah. - Christmas. - Can I have a question, might your hair? Does one ever just go on its own and then somebody has to go, man. - Oh, all the time. - And you go, oh thank you. - All the time. I think they're pretty on there today. - They're on, but I wonder if anybody's at the airport or something is like, man, I think you dropped something. - Well, you know, a couple of years goes on tour. I mean, we stopped in Joshua Tree. I know we went on tour, we were doing a road trip. I was in Joshua Tree, and one of these had fallen off. And we didn't realize, and no one else said anything, 'cause I think we thought it was a tumbleweed. You know, in there. (humming) I mean, it looked like a tumbleweed. - Well, maybe they thought they were not being a supportive friend by calling it out. They're like, let's pretend it's not there. - Yeah. - Oh, like, that's normal. - Don't tell that trans woman that her hair has fallen off on the floor. - I wonder if she should get this far, yeah. - I wonder if her eight scrunchy hair balls flew off. (laughing) - I wonder if you ever put one on zero as like a cape? Does it look like a lion? - No, I know, as a cape. Yes, he put around his neck. - As a lion. - He walks backwards with it on. (laughing) - 'Cause he thinks it's stuck. - He thinks he's trying to walk back out of it. - As some people with pets have told me when they go on trips and they come home, their animal is excited. And sometimes they tell me the animal gets in the cold shoulder. When you come home, a zero like, well, well, well, bitch. - It's been different every time. So the first time we went away for a while, we come back and he was screaming, screaming in the bathroom. - Toma, like emotional. - And he should shout, he should angry. I think that we had left. But the last time he come back and he was just like, yeah, he'll come. But he responds to my voice. - What, look at people go? - That's, he knows that. - That's how you talk to him? - What did the people go? What the fuck? - You used to film your videos in your kitchen. (laughing) - Right? - Yeah. - I did. - I have a hard time imagining you sitting making computer game videos in the kitchen. - You should not hear 'cause it's sound. - Well, the thing is though is - So which kitchen's a very small? - That's what I mean. So why the kitchen and where would Phil hide? - In the bedroom. - That go in there and shut up. Don't make noise. - I don't know why. - I filmed it in the kitchen. I think it was because there was not enough room in the bedroom to put like, you know, the green screen thing up. - Yeah. - Do you know what I mean? - Yeah. Are you super famous in Manchester? - I don't know. - Are you the RuPaul of Manchester? - No, no, no. - RuPaul's the RuPaul of Manchester. - I thought I was at one point. I've not even done Manchester Pride before. - That's why I'm with Milwaukee. I've only done Milwaukee Pride like once. - Really? - Like personally, I've only performed like once, yeah. - That's weird, that isn't it? - No, I think it's like, maybe you feel like I do in Milwaukee, I always felt like my, they're just like, oh, her. Like not like, oh, her, but they're like, we've seen her. She's here all the time. We see her at the gay bar's drunk. Like, it's not impressive. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - If you want to see me, you just go to gay bars enough. You'll probably see me. So it's not like a special shit like showing. Whereas, boysy, we're not from Idaho. It'll be exciting when you and I are in Boise, and it's like, oh, my god. - Is that Idaho? - Well, I can't tell you much about Isoho. Idaho. Boise, Idaho. It Boise is a capital. And I don't know. - It's very gay, right? - I think so. Usually in the hopes. Usually in the more rural states, the big cities are like the gay capital, Mecca. So that's, it will be gay, but also Idaho is where the potatoes come from in America. - Oh, like island. - What's island? - Potatoes. - Oh, Ireland. I thought you said island. - Ireland. - Ireland. - John, gay, man, or potatoes. (laughing) - Potato. - I look Irish today, don't I? - I look like a little bit. - Do you have any Irish lineage? - I don't think so. - What are you supposed to be? - Just white. - I don't know. I did Google my last name once. It said there was Egyptian, but I know that's not true. I think that was a load of bullshit. I did that when I was in college. I was like, oh, I'm an idiot. Egyptian. I'm not Egyptian. Is cereal Egyptian? Um, what kind of cat is that? I think they come from Thailand. Wow. I think the originate from Thailand. Yes, such a unique phase. It's like a beautiful isn't it? People say it looks like me. I don't not believe that. Both me and Phil look like Cyril. We've got those noses. Oh my god, you're both, you're both turning into Cyril. I know. But you know how people say that their pets look like the rawness. Yeah. Do you think that happens when they adopt like or they already are just attracted to a pet that looks like them? Or do you think over time the pet and the human start morphing into one? Well, I think sometimes gay guys start to dress like each other look like each other. So I think with gay men that happens. And do you think it happens with the girls? Do lesbians start to twin? I think the white ones do. The clicky ones. I think you're right. Because sometimes me and Mr. Wonderful, we were going to something. Oh, you were over Sunday. He came downstairs and had almost the same outfit as me. I was like, no, no, no, I beat you downstairs. You got to go change. This is a thing. So Phil likes to do that. Match me. Oh, I hate that. No, don't dress like me. Yeah. Or it will wear like one of my t-shirts, merch t-shirts. I think that's sweet. He added on the show Monday. No, I know, but sometimes if it's my big face on the t-shirt, I'm like, it looks like I've forced you to wear it. Right. Because I look like I force him to do everything. So it looks like I've gone get that t-shirt on now. Now, if you come to, if you move to America, you know, we would have to have some disgusting American-themed cookout to like welcome you. Please, please. I, there's something I love tacky, greasy American things. Yeah. You seem to have a fixation on barbequeing. I, yeah, I, because you can't really have a barbeque in the UK. You probably get two days a year where you can have a barbeque in the UK. You know, when caught you in our Netflix and we're watching like British shows, if it's a gloomy day, we're always like, this is the sunniest day of the year. Yes. Yes. It's miserable. It's miserable. And a lot of apartments in the UK, we only have windows on one side. So you're limited with lighting and everything. And I think that's another reason why I stopped doing YouTube is because, you know, I got all my lights and everything, but I like a bit of daylight. Sure in my YouTube. I get it. It can be a little depressing to close up. You know, I like to film in front of real windows if I can, but it just rarely happens. Yeah. When I'm a touring stuff, I usually just try to film in front of windows. Um, you have some kind of fixation that you think that barbeque is like an American, like high level American activity. I think that you think of the barbeque in like Edward Scissorhands. Yes. Okay. But no, I also know that I like the idea of doing like a redneck barbeque. Oh, yeah. I've seen like that. They talk like that. They just shove sugar on it and everything. Oh, I want to do that. I've heard in the UK, they do like American theme parties where people have like red solo cups. Yes. So it's so the red cup thing that we associate that with American house parties. Right. And beer pong. And people do like mullet wigs and like American flag shirts and like, I've never done that, but I think people do like kind of like mega themed. That's like the America party. It's a camouflage and like red, white and blue and like a bucktooth. I guess they're kind of doing the South. Yeah. Well, you know, when we come to America, like I think, I think the cartoonish Americans are usually the ones that talk like they are, it's like, oh, can you say that again? Yeah. Like it's like the movies. It's like, wow, Wes, like it's fascinating to us. Have you ever seen Squid Billies? No. It's a cartoon with some squids that are from the South America. I think you would love it. Cartoon SpongeBob, like SpongeBob. Like SpongeBob. I love SpongeBob. I love SpongeBob as well. I just like, I love it. I'm always, if it's on, if it's a Paramount always suggested as like, do you want to watch this? I'm always like sure. Yes. Love Sponge Bob. And I didn't realize why I was, I'm going universal soon while I'm here. Are you going to ride the new ride? Oh, I can't. And you know why? Cause it goes like, I can't do repetition. It was on the news this morning. What? Nothing bad happened. Oh, no, I'm saying the KTLA news is doing a piece on like the new roller coaster, the Fast and the Furious. It's caused that spin while it's on a roller coaster, right? But I can't do Simpsons. That's a ride that'll make you sick. What was the Simpsons one? The Simpsons ride at Universal. I think I don't remember the Simpsons ride. It's so violent. You go on this little cart and you, what's he called? I think it's just called the Simpsons. The Simpsons area. The Simpsons area at Universal. The Quiky Mott bit. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Cleetus's chicken shack. Yeah. Across the Quiky Mott and the donut shop. There's a ride. You've never ridden the Simpsons ride. I don't think so. Yeah. You sit in like a car and it moves with like the screen itself. It was at the back to the future ride. Or I think I motion stimulated. I think I have a little bit of memory loss. I don't remember. I don't remember a lot of things. I just watched a video of Kelly and I. I was looking for this clip of Kelly saying, um, I'll always be a slut, the mind of the slut, the body of the slut or something. And I found like three different clips of Kelly on this pod, different times of me asking her if her husband knows that she used to be a whore. So not only is she not remember me asking that. I don't remember asking it. You know what my theory is? Hmm. I think it's trans women when we get to a certain age, we go back to being children. Let's take a break. I think no, I do. I think it's a thing like Kelly's time traveling back 80 years. Yeah. No, I mean like we go back to being kids again. Like we forget things with just a bit like don't you love Kelly. I love Kelly. She's everything. She's killing that pod. And what's so funny is when she started it, she was like, who's going to want to hear me? Cause she's like an actress. She's never just been like, here I'm Kelly. I'm going to talk. I'm like, what are you talking about Kelly? Like you are so funny. You're going to be. She's absolutely brilliant. I love her so much. She's so funny. And she's like, I think she was scared of like, if you've always played characters, I think she was scared of like talking about her life using her voice. Of course, her hair goes to here and the microphone goes here. But she's like talking through a male slot in a door. It's like Kelly we call him out. She's like, I don't care. Yeah, he can't say about because you're crazy. Did you know that she believes she has, she has a good side? She bleaches. She believes that one side she loves the other side. She doesn't like visually like Barbara Streisand. Oh, really? I was like, Kelly, you look the same. She's pretty symmetrical. She looks exactly the same. But you know what? I guess again, I'm just if a trans person says they have a good side, I go with it. I'm like, sure. I don't know if I have a good side. I mean, I see my ears. So I had my ears pinned back when I was a kid. You know, like with the bandage and everything, I was three years old and they didn't finish the operation. So I have a little cabbages like a boxer. No, you don't. This one, this one here. Look at that one. Yeah. Yeah, but it is. No, it goes really when people touch it. I can't. I feel like my ears inside it. I want to pull it out. It's right. You want to free it. And then this one is pretty much more normal. Yeah, I never noticed that. Whoa. That's one. Oh, my God. I started I saw you started making your sculptures again. I did. What do you think? I'm so happy to do it again. Right. The thing is I can't make sculptures with nails. And I love having nails. So what? So I have to have a time off from from I don't like people see me without nails on because the little nails nick, nick the clay. Yeah, you'll get the clay and you're finger nails because you have to use a lot of your tips of your fingers and everything to smooth it out. All that sort of thing. Do you do press on there? No, no, these are gel axes, but I had a bit of a fight with a can of coat yesterday and this is what's happened. You're going to have to go get it fixed. Do you feel crazy when one's missing? I know. My balance is off. I just what you know what so why don't you and we'll say you don't have to force full to do everything, but maybe you can have him open the cans of soda. Oh, yeah, I know he does do that. But if he's not there, I'll just try and do this. I'll get a knife or a spoon. Oh, yeah, the knife thing. I love diet coke. It's girl. It's a quick, slow change. It's so good. Why are you whispering? Because that Diet Coke knows that I'm here and they know because people you're not supposed to drink it. It's not confirmed good for you. And I don't want to be recommending people do it on healthy thing. It's great view. I don't know. It's Delta work seems to be doing fine. I know she has a vat of it a day. She loves. Have you seen the video of her testing the Diet Cokes? Yes, I have. Yes, she can name where they're from. She's but you know what? This is something I learned. This trick, this trick for here. Excuse me. You're spolicly. This is what I burp and fall asleep. And that's the end of the plot. I'm not very well. You know, what do you mean? Well, I don't really say, you know, on Monday, I nearly didn't do the show because I was missing blood. From what? I have read about you. I like really bad. And I have to get in care here. I have to go to a walk in center right before I got in drag to go to Mickey's. And they've give me this. I don't know whether you want to put this on, but they've give me this tablet. It's bright yellow. And it makes you feel like that orange, like luminous orange is. - Terrifying. - But it's helping. - Yes, it's helping. But um, yeah. - I've never had a year. - I thought it was on my period. I thought, "Oh the fuck?" - I have similar P problems, not that, but I have a period. I have a, sometimes if I have too much alcohol or caffeine, like if I do a Red Bull a day for like a week, my bladder is like, no, no, no, no. - You see blood? - I don't see blood, but my bladder, it's almost like the inner walls of my bladder are like girl unnotated. The caffeine, the sugar, the alcohol. Like I'm probably now gonna for a week or two and I have to like binge water to get it back. 'Cause once it's irritated like this, I pee constantly all day. It's super irritating. So I've been going through that. Thank you for asking. No one asks. - No one asks about my bloody piss anyway. But I did. - I wanted to know. - Okay. - I saw the blood trail coming in here. (laughing) - Well, I was worried because I was right. - I was freaked out. - I got in drag for Mickey's. And I was like, 'cause I was in so much pain as well. A lot of pain. So I just didn't know what I was doing. That's the first time I've been into a walking center in America. And let me tell you something. Notice to the NHS in the UK, but everyone was so lovely. (laughing) I walked in. I was shaking like this. And I was, she said, she's like, 'Oh honey, are you okay?' And I was like, 'Oh, I'm okay. Just a little bit nervous.' First time I've seen healthcare stuff as a trans woman in America. Didn't know what to expect. She's like, 'Oh girl, we see everything here.' She's like, 'I'm really nice. We lovely.' And I just, I mean, it cost me a fortune, but it was lovely. - Oh, she's like, I'll be paying off for the rest of my life, but it was incredible. I will say this. I mean, it depends where you go, obviously. But also, so many people in America don't have insurance. They're only going to walk in clinics when something really severe happens. They don't go to a normal doctor. So maybe our urgent care is more developed here because people don't have GPs. You know, people don't go to the doctor unless they're falling apart here, right? - Yeah, well, that's pretty much the same in the UK. - Yeah. - I mean, I know we have free healthcare, but I think a lot of British people, we learn to sort of like just deal with it ourselves sort of thing because the healthcare in the UK is so backed up, like you're waiting eight hours in A&E to, for a broke your leg. - What? - Yeah, he's crazy in the UK, really, really bad. And Phil, when he had his diabetic blood sugar went all the way up, he was on the verge of a diabetic coma. He sat there for six hours in A&E and he could have just. - And you were at home sleeping. Good luck, Dave. - I popped out with a little bit, you know. - Did you really? - Maybe you made me a little bit nervous. - He said, I gotta go open. There's a di-cook of my name on it. I gotta go. - I was like, I think I've like the strove on. (laughing) - He's like, you don't know how to turn on the fucking stove. Oh no, you're food. - You're food's the food that almost killed him, right? - Oh, yes, I did nearly kill him because. - No, listen, hear me out, listen. - She's soft-launching killing your boyfriend. - I made a chili con carne with basmati rice. (laughing) - Lobster Thermador. - And it was the rice. So for diabetics, I didn't know rice is really bad. - It's like a high start. - Because it's sugar. - In a way, carbohydrates turns into sugar. - Oh. - And I give him a giant bowl of rice. And he was like, oh, I don't feel good. I was like, oh, you may find, like. - You're such a baby. - Shut up. - But you asked him out with sculptures. - We got sidetracked. - Oh, you're sculptures. For a while, you weren't making them. And now you're back. What was it like to go like sculpt again? - I thought I'd lost it. - You did? - When you don't do like sculptures and drawings and stuff for so long, I just was like, oh, I sort of felt like I'd lost my style a little bit. But I find that the sculptures I like that I make the most are the ones I completely improv on. - Oh yeah. - And so I can never do commissions. - Right. - Because I know what I'm gonna do. It's shit. I don't like it. But if I have no idea what I'm gonna make, I love it. - You know what? I was recently having this revelation just this year, and I'm realizing creatively for almost my whole creative life, I would create with the product in mind, create with the finished product in mind. It would have a vision of what it is and then do it. And I've found now the way I create, I'm much more interested in going into it, not knowing what's gonna happen. That's very exciting. - I feel like a lot of the time, when I used to do a commission, I used to be a caricature artist. - That's right. - As far as the drag queen. - Yes. - And sometimes when people would give me what I had to drop, can you draw me at my prom as with Celine Dionne in the speech bubble, it's shoes all around it and I can't do that. - It's so exciting when you have no idea what you're gonna create. - Oh, you prefer when they sit down and you go, "All right, bitch, we're coming for those teeth," or whatever. - Yes. Well, at least it's what I want. I do my own little, do you know, shows? I wanna draw the guests, but horribly. - Do they know that this is coming? - No. - Oh, okay. - No. - And also I wanna like morph their pets into their bodies and stuff and just make a horrible like substance monster on the page. - With their pets? - Yes. - Oh my god. - It's gonna be gorgeous. And we can create a mural at the back. - We're all everyone's paintings who's been on the show. - I think that's beautiful. - Yeah. - I mean, you think you could do a set like this big or how big do you think you would wanna do? - This is perfect. I mean, when you finish it. - No. (laughing) - Yeah, if this thing don't come back, we're just gonna do that side purple and relief. - Yes. - If honestly, because the audience has never seen that way, there's like a hole. This is, that side is even bigger than this side. - You have quite, are they? - No, they're sound insulation things. - Yeah, they, but they have a fall. There's two desk space. Like, honestly, of course you want all this space in the world, but you could do a lot of shit in a room even in the size. I used to make my YouTube videos on my original channel my entire, before I had Nick and everybody on self taping, the whole room I shot in was maybe this. - You could give me a portal when I'd be okay with that, honestly, like, I can make it work. That I, you know, it's funny. Do you ever use egg boxes on a wall for sound insulation? - No, it doesn't work. - I didn't know this was a thing, right? So I was in university, and we were moving in halls, and this guy comes out and he goes, "Guys, if anyone has any egg boxes, "can you save them for me to insulate the sound in my walls?" And we were like, "Why, do you record music?" "No, I just have a really loud vibrator." - And this was our first introduction to him and everything. This really tall, skinny guy. "Egg boxes, insulating the sound of doughs." - But at that point when you're buying 10 dozen eggs, just get the fucking, you know, get the phone padding. - Just get the phone. So do you have any, do you have any, do you have any sculptures for sale, or did they all go like that? - So this is a question I get asked a lot, right? So I've not sold any in years because I'm trying to build up a little collection. - Oh, I see. - So I'd love to do an exhibition. - Oh my God. - I know a little super, do you know super market and all the sculptures are run all in the aisles and stuff. - Oh, girl, you could probably show them in an actual supermarket. That would be fucking cool. - Yes. - Like an actual supermarket. - You know, have you been to Vegas, Omega Mart? - I want to sell things. - It's amazing. - Did you go? - Yes, I went, oh, I did a whole video on YouTube. - Was it fierce? - And you open the freezer, and you walk in and it's like a cave. And so you go in from a, do do do do do. You know, the supermarket sort of thing. You go into these free's a cave. And then you come out the other side and so lays the beans and it's like, it's so good. - You don't have an obsessed with these people who are like, "Hey, we're at my house." And we're just gonna show you my secret room. And it's like, have you guys seen this? Where it's like, somebody's like, "I'm gonna show you my secret room." And then they have like, their couch, let's say, and they lift up the middle cushion and there's a door and they climb down a ladder into like the basement. And it's like a disco down there. Or it's like people with secret speakeasies that are genuinely like secret. Or some people have like, just a reading nook. Or it's like, under my couch and they go like this and you climb down some stairs and it's just all fur-lined walls with the on lights where they just go like, relax. One of my friends has a sensory, what if you're on the spectrum? What's the thing where you have a room with no sound, no light, sensory room? Sensory room, I guess, whatever. Are they like the egg coffins that you go in with water? I know somebody who has one and she's like, I was my sensory room like, what? She's like, yeah, go in there. Go in there, padded walls, lay down on the ground. I was like, a bitch could get used to this. Go in there, listen to music, get high. Oh my god. Can you see any daylight though? No, it was dark. I don't know where, oh, I don't know, no, no. You think a little bit of, oh, I don't know. I'm sure it's however you want. All right. No, but I am there. Nobody's threatening you, you're okay. I'm really claustrophobic, like really, really, really bad. How do you do on the planes? Oh, I have to have an aisle seat. Do you drink? No, I have to go in an aisle seat and I can't. Well, I went on the double decker on the way here and I panicked because I thought that on the top deck, the roof was going to be shorter, but it was actually fine. Yeah, it's pretty normal. But I have to have an aisle seat. Was it KLM? I think they have the doubles. British shareway. British shareway, yes. British shareway is very claustrophobic, really claustrophobic. Someone put me in a car box when I was a kid and it's just traumatized me. If you moved here, you would literally be a British invasion, like alien invasion in your British. Yeah. Wow. Maybe you could tell a reality program or something because maybe it'd be interesting to be a British transverse and moving here. And there may be a lot of cool stuff to do. Well, maybe we could go to the desert. And we could do an area 51s kind of thing. Oh my God. You know, I've been watching a lot of alien shit. Oh, yeah, what's your favorite alien movie? I mean Mars attacks. Does that count? That's almost like not well Because it's like not about the thing is we love it not for the aliens We love it for the the whole style of the movie and the performances The Nancy Reagan gentler I also love the old grandma When she's like music. Yeah, I love her. She's a beautiful juice as well But I sort of got when I have ever in my life been on a plane like a little drunk listen to music I feel like her because she's listen she's like That's how you should Also jack black and that is so good. I know he's so young in that may be so young everybody in that movie is so good Danny to be so Danny to you. Oh, your time Jones. You're time. I don't use it all Do you like Vegas you must like Vegas. I love Las Vegas. You know, just a cheeky cigarette I'll be I come down in the morning for my cheeky cigarette and I'll just sit there on the slots I love it so much the I will say that's different in cool in America And so is New Orleans New Orleans is like New Orleans. It's very moist I don't like the moisture of New Orleans. It's so hot bitch But I do love the the witchiness of New Orleans. I had a bloody Mary and an IV bag The vampire cafe. That's oh my god. My friend Vanessa. She's a DJ. We make music together She's from Southern California and the first time she went to New Orleans. She was like oh my god It looks just like Disneyland And they were like no Disneyland looks like New Orleans She was because she's grew up in California. She was like oh, you know Disneyland looks like because you know It's the there's a whole area of Disneyland looks like New Orleans. Oh Tiana's by you area. Well, I've only ever been to Disneyland in Paris. You've never been in the LA one now girl should I go Well, I'm here. We're going. I have a guide. Okay, let's do everything. I've never been LA all expenses is paid for Yes, we get the guy I'm holding you to that what you will be getting room and food and drinks, but I bet it's that counts But we will um, but we get the room I get the room the night before so I can wake up you go down to the lobby The guide is there and because I get recognized They take you in the back entrance of everything. She's you can see the whole park in a day. Oh, I got come way Yeah, we're going oh, oh, oh, my god. Yes, I'm gonna like once a year. So we're gonna have to wait till you're here and we'll do it I'm here. I don't know but you're gonna let's go. You're gonna universal. I'll do both Girl, you I can't believe you're not gonna ride that That's in the previous ride What are you going to ride? I like things that go like these all like these But I don't like things that do this Do you like cup and sauces now do you have tea cups and sauces? It doesn't land. Yeah, I can't do them Do you like the drop rides like I like the drop ones? Okay, I don't like anything that's repetitious movements Like a carousel like a carousel. Would you write a carousel? No, oh no, no Interesting. I want one of them now you won't see me. I'm one of them the losses Very pop it and so let's look at a cigarette blank chunks. Yeah, it's not gonna cigarette puking off the kids Oh, make well not like people don't know where to find you, but can you tell people where they can find you You can find me at Juno Birch on everything Juno Birch eight on tiktok Juno Can we get her real you know what though? No, some fucking little bastard I'm sorry, I some little bastard. I stole my username on tiktok And he's not even using the accounts. They've done it obviously so that I go I'll give you money so that's what it is Somebody owns at trixi on instagram, right? Just trixi at trixi and I DM them because I changed my youtube my tiktok to at trixi And I said hey, I just I'm I'm trixi Can I have this you know they haven't posted in years and they said well this account actually has a lot of sentimental value to me I'll take it for 60,000 european 60,000 bridge pounds That's some fucking nerve. It's crazy. Oh my gosh. The account is all like stock photos. They they clearly buy people's names Are they but get their names to later to sell the website as well They wanted six grand of me for my juno batch dot com. I got it back without having to pay. Oh good I don't know how it's done, but it was done somehow. Can I tell you a similar story One time when I was younger my first got on drag race. I went to buy tricks and it'll calm and somebody heard you bought it And I was like, oh And somebody knew at the time said I bought it you for you years ago and held on to it because I knew you would need it Then you can tell me That's sweet. I say that's nice. Yeah, we should have gotten you know, excuse me, you little bitch on tiktok I know you've got my handle. Give it back now Or else I'm just trying to be threatening in some way. Okay, she's gonna get you Thank you guys so much for Juno Birch having here. Thank you for having me my darling [BLANK_AUDIO]