Juiced to the gills with Aaron Berg

What's happening here for people Uncle Joey here with Johnny Hitler for another fun time with the church or what's happening now. New Testament. It's got great week. Labor Day is dead. The winter is here. It's time to roll up your sleeves Jack because it's how it's a sad December. If you ain't got your shit together. So that party starts this week and the beginning of NFL football life will be different for some years. The other half of years you're still a loser ain't not going to change. You know what I'm saying? You still want to ride in there with the Jets or whatever fucking team. Give me a break and we also have a special guest. He just tore up some fucking weightlifting championship and he's leasing the special. My dear fucking friend, Mr. Aaron Berg, what's up dog breath. Yeah. Dude winter. It's fucking freezing out for snowfalls right around the corner, Joey. You feel it? I'm ready for all that shit. How you doing brother? I'm amazing. On top of the world I'm running a low cycle of TRT and premable and right now. And I got four I use of growth hormone per day, the good growth hormone, the AIDS stuff. You know, you got to know someone with AIDS to get it. So I'm trying to work my way into that AIDS community and it's not easy. You can't just ask people. You can't just go on grinder. I've been going to these bath houses. I've been going to these places in Chelsea and hell's kitchen. This pool hall name stallions and I'm just trying to be friend to all these guys. You get friends with these guys. These gay guys get growth hormone because they got like a death sentence of AIDS. So you get the growth hormone off these guys. It's like 200 bucks. I flip that on the street six, six, 50 in Jersey. It's insane. I don't even have to leave the house no more. Just get friends with AIDS. What is growth hormone make you feel like better than you? Drone hormone is the found new youth. The peptides are introductory level shit Joey. We know about peptides BPC TB 500 Wolverine stack. That's great. There's nothing called Wolverine stack. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Make you bulletproof. It helps you recover. If you have an injury and helps build tissue back, they should change the name of that. It's two things mixed together. Three things maybe. Yeah. Now let's probably three things. You shoot it a couple of times a week before you go to bed, wake up in the morning and dig side. It's not like a pre workout kind of thing. No. It's beautiful. That's great. But growth hormone, dude, think about how good it is for building muscle. If it's saving these gay men's lives, you know what I mean? And it doesn't really save their lives. It's still death sentence. And it's like growth hormone amaze you swallow one of those loads of tree grows in your backyard. It has to real fucking deal. It has growth hormone, sperm or drive your fucking nose. You need like a coffee filter to take the aides out and just keep the growth hormone in it. You know what I mean? Like drip coffee. I feel good. So are you still doing traditional cycles or are you just off the fucking charts? I'm on what's called a cruise right now, okay? So after a big cycle, you go on a cruise because you can't get off. Once you're you're 53, you can't get off. You get off. You're going to lose everything psychologically. You're going to be miserable. I was running master on and of our wind stroll test growth hormone and then I read a true tide, which is great. And here's what happened. I go to the doctor. I get my blood work. Joey, I keep putting the blood work off for weeks because I know what they're going to say. They're going to say some shit like if you go in while you're pre contest, they're going to go, you can't do this contest. You need to get the fuck out. You need to stop doing what you're doing. So you can't go to a doctor. You just have to ignore it and psychologically be strong. And you know, modern medicines, a sham anyways, so I get the blood work back. I go, I'm not opening this because if I open it, I'm just going to be miserable for two weeks till I go to the doctor. I go to the doctor. I go full disclosure, here's what I was running for 20 weeks. And it was up and down. It was all pretty low dose compared to what big guys do because I'm a small guy. And then she goes, she goes, all right, your blood works have never been better. I go, how is that possible? She goes, you were eating right? You were exercising. You were doing a ton of cardio. You're drinking three gallons of water a day. And the red of true tide you were taking probably has something to do with why your blood work looks phenomenal. There was nothing wrong. My iron was a little bit low. She's like, we're eating red meat. I go, no, once every two weeks she goes, eat more red meat. Pep tides are now the cure for anabolic steroids. I'm not a doctor. Let's break this. But I could be one. You said a couple things that were interesting. Yeah. You put, you named 18 things on that cycle. Yeah. Now, you, the first three, I know they're the bill muscle. Yeah. If you take the anavar with all that to cut you up at the same time, the anavar is the safest thing you could do. They give that the kids, women, they get to every, I mean, I think master owns safer because you inject it. Anavar's still got to go through your liver. So it's a little toxic. Master on is a steroid. Yeah. And what does it do? That cuts you up, dries you out. Okay. Now, what would you take when I was growing up 40 years ago, the big thing on the enough Bergen's streets was the animal, oh, yeah. That was big. That's a job. Box you up. And then the anavar and winstrel. Cut you down. Cut you up. You could. Now, with the high school, no, you're about as good as the high school really. The football players and stuff. Wait. Can I, and if you want to cut this out, that's fine. The only thing I know about steroids is like from TV where like they sell it to you in the gym and it's illegal. You watch that bent anaphyl like movie of the week. I don't know what did you see, did you see it, dude? It's so funny. Ben Affleck gets all juiced up and starts beating the shit out of his mom and stealing from her purse and everything. And he's like taking pills like like that, like throwing the pills in his mouth like I'm a lot of anybody in this fucking room, maybe except George and George will cop to this. We've seen trends. But we're like this, like yeah, just it went from a smoking joints to buying two hits, two dollars ahead of mask one, faith bucks. You had a fucking journey around the world and you up till four in the morning. Yeah. So next thing you know, we got bombarded with a surgical cane. Like the acid got knocked out of the game. Everything got knocked out of the game. It was $48 more to get the party started and we saw the impact of it. I was growing up in Northburg and there's a couple guys that were big, but they lifted with the sky in town. Ira Wolf. And Ira Wolf. Jewish guy. Jewish guy. Ira Wolf was one of the trainers on the 88 or 82 Olympics. Really? He's one of these guys that box up in the winter in the summers. He runs Marathon. Yeah. He's still fucking alive. Yeah. Okay. He's still doing it. And I don't know what he was doing. But in 1980 steroids were fucking on fire in Northburg and it was kids that you had grown up with that. You said, hmm, they asked on to put on some bulk, but they were doing animalistic work. It is when you did a five times six set. Yeah. Like I used to run with those guys. I still remember showing up one day and doing like a hundred pounds behind your neck, which today, that does not exist right now type of prices don't exist. Why? The reason I can't even shoot a hoop now. Yeah. They destroy your shoulder. Yeah. But when I ended with those guys, I was doing 180 behind my neck and five sets of six. All that does is bulk you up like a fucking monster. Yeah. Have you weighed straight bar? No dumbbells. Yeah. Everything was done with a straight bar, including pullovers. We used the bar, stuck in the wall and used it as a T-bar, I still remember all that shit. That would know that machine. It was bent over rows with a barbell and that was it. Yeah. Pullovers. That was your back workout. I saw all these guys get used. But then it was like a big surgery and then it seemed like everything in Northburg was on. Like every kid, you see him two months after the summer, they come back fucking like what happened. And we saw the trends like how quick, now you think about what the CIA does and whatever agencies that are in child, like cocaine destroyed the country. Yeah. You know, like it just destroyed Hudson County and yeah, but right here close to the city, the Cubans, the Colombians, it thought people weren't even thinking of doing coke in high school. They were fucking nerds. I came back in '84. I was selling drugs with their parents and gone in business with their father slinging at bars. The grandpa would deliver a coke to a bar. It was insanity. Everybody got into the coke business and you it's weird how you see trends and now it's peptides. Even though they're illegal everywhere, you can buy them in a health food store. I don't know, peptides were illegal, grey market, grey market. What does that mean? The cops ain't going to come in and shake your dinner. Yeah. But Eli Lilly wants to. Sure. He locked the pack and he knows to get that he's going to get all that shit. He's going to water it down and we'll bike right back to where we started from. Who people don't know peptides or a chain of amino acid, and they make them for everything. They got even ones that you want to suntan. Yeah. Why do you inject it in your body? It makes you darker. You don't have to tan. Yeah, that can't be good for you. No, but there's one that makes you dick hard. PT-141, you inject it. I haven't taken it. I did. And yeah, scary, scary, scary, too good of an erection. You're talking 14 year old boy erection, not the first stabbing. It's once it goes because remember, read the fucking five print. Mine's all in Chinese. It's 24 to 48 hours. Yeah. I mean, you, you could, uh, CHP JAP, whatever the fuck that is, what is that? CHP, JAP, CHP PT, CHP T, whatever the fuck that is, I don't know. You know, I'm a computer when you Yahoo shit, yeah, you do that. And then you go chat, whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. And it tells you read the fine print. You can't do it more than like six times a month. It says eight, yeah, but you know us getting a big dick and having a direction. Yeah, for fucking five to six hours, that could become a problem for some people. And if you mix it, the secret is to shoot PT 141. Like, let's see. You want to give somebody a stab in the midnight. Yeah. You want to be in. So it's 7 30. You got to shoot that to get you covered. Yeah. And then 45 minutes before that, you popped the three headed monster, the three of those. It's unbelievable. What unbelievable thing is after you have sex that night, you wake up in the morning. And as you pick your leg up to go pee, your dick is fucking harder than shit. And it stays at like 70% all day. Oh, that's the scary thing. Yeah. It's thick all day that if the wind blows on it, now you got a problem when you're dry. But now what happens if you take that shot at 7 30 and at midnight, they're on the period like, you don't end up having sex. You want to go on the bathroom and you bang one out and you have to choose out the 18 times? No, but then the next morning, hopefully you put a towel down and whatever the fuck it is that you're filthy, little Jews do. You got to bury your pussy in the yard like it's like it's a plate that had milk on it. And there's no for the Jews. Yeah, there's experiments that I do, but I will not reveal in public. I can tell you guys behind the scenes that, you know, shit that I do, just to try it out. Just to see where it takes you because that's like I never took my anger. Then people started giving it to me. When I moved here, I took a viagra. I thought you pop a viagra and your dick just got hard and a party just popped up. You know, saying like that's, and I'm retarded. So that's the rest of the country you think you take a viagra home. Nothing happens, right? You'd be watching TV and then I'm loving you. Let's see what happens. And it's the same. It's like, and that's where PT comes in. PT taps in thing your central nervous system. That's why you can't do it a bunch of times. Like, are you on a coke binge? I could just pick your guy on a coke bench with two chicks, three fucking days. And every time that dick goes down, he does a line of coke on his shot of PT. Just a thought of it. You're like, so like, because I, I just like in the last year have tried Bluetooth. And Bluetooth for me is like, what PT one, the regular one, the max. So it was before it was like in between. Well, you gotta try the gold. But like, it's okay. I will. I love it. What is 140 is 141 on top of that? You shoot 141 for, you know, listen, you're a marine. You don't want to go on it. Even though you're a marine, you always want to bring a side partner. Yeah. And that's all you're doing. You're shooting 141 to get me a system to arouse your central nervous system. And then once her panties are off, you eat a Bluetooth. Make sure you drink water because not you have blue teeth and then they'll ask you, why you got blue teeth for a while? And we're hopping and they go, and they goes, you're a little blue dick dead again. Yeah. So these are the things that are popping out now. And here's the sick thing. PT one, 41 has been around since 19, fucking 68 was some shit. Yeah. And just getting popular now. No, nobody told you about it. Nobody told me they don't want you. And wait, isn't there something doesn't don't steroids affect your dick or your balls? Or your balls, your balls, your balls shrink your balls. They'll test shrimp because your body's not making it no more. And your sex drive will go down pre contest. When you're dieting, your sex drive goes down because you just depleted. Right. But some steroids will make you a horneur. Uh, DACA makes your horneur, you know, master owner, kick in a little bit. Yeah. So it was, it was D ball. And DACA, yeah, a robo and yeah, that was the shooting one. Cause the boy you can eat the pills and I just bulked you up like a fucking balloon. Cause D ball makes you strong as fuck. You're DACA lubricates your joints so that you can lift that heavy. That's why people did it together. DACA is fucking great. It's just like, I got presidious right now. If I touch my elbow on my mattress, all screaming pain, that's how bad it is. You shoot it with PT. I'll shoot BPC. Yeah, you squeeze the skin. You do that. I learned that from you. You said you had a problem with your knee. I go, where do you shoot it? You go right around my knee. I go, that's insane. And then you're like, Oh, yeah, there's extra skin there. You literally grab that skin, they take the skin right here. Yeah. So I was doing, so I was watching and I go, so when I shoot the peptides, yeah. Cause I want you to shoot them here, here, here and here for shots. And that'll build the skin to regenerate in the ASMR. I was doing so many needles, preka. I looked like a junkie's house. Look at the back of my arms. Needles aren't even going in. I have calluses on the back of my arms. Yeah. From the GHU, see you. Yeah. That shit's good too. My stomach got so I was shooting so much in my stomach. You'd go in and then you'd feel like, it was going through scar tissue to get the needle in. It's fucking great. I'm a, I'm a, I love this shit. I'm, I'm not a fan of it. I'm from Jersey, but I shouldn't have been from Missouri because you got to show me. You got to show me one of those guys. I believe in Jesus, but let them make an appearance. I'm letting them fuck and turn some bread into shrimp, whatever the fuck he did. And I'm all in with Jesus, Jesus, Jesus was definitely doing that. All right. So I had a problem with my ear. Ear, ear, ear stitches, a surgery, they couldn't get the fat ball out. Then finally got the fat ball out, but when they shot me with, this is modern. This is old school medicine when they, they shot me with that shit. And when you have a bad knee, cord is all, cord is all to break the, the fat ball. Well, the fat ball didn't break though after the surgery. So started popping up. So I had to go to them every Wednesday and they have to pick it out with a tweezer, shoot me pan. I'm like, I went down a ways to, I was talking and she goes, what is that band day? And I showed it to she goes, I'm going to send you a container of GHQ. It's the only one that stings. Like that's tricky because if you blast that night, the pain will wake you up at night. Yeah. If like the needle and the copper going into your body, it's a case. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like a fucking sharp thing. But then you go back to bed and it's over when I shoot it at night. Within three weeks, this thing started healing, leaking the skin started coming out. A bunch of those little balls coming out. Now it doesn't hurt normal. It's just a matter of the outside skin growing. Yeah. Talk. It took four weeks. I was talking to doctors for two years. They couldn't figure it out. I did eight shots, 12 shots, three shots a week. And four weeks later, it's healed. Yeah. So, you know, I'm not doing anything different. You know, I'm not doing anything different. And I'm like, I'm taking different minerals or whatever. You know, my knee, same thing, BPC in this knee. This knee is fucked up. This is gone. Peptides can't help this, but I've been putting weight on this knee. Now you got to yak it up again. So last week, I shot it with BPC two or three days. Now I'm tipped up my go. And how? Because you, you can't just take this shit and like get stronger. You know, how many hours a day do you have to work out? After ten and a half minutes, I go an hour. That just an hour and a half hour. And you get muscle like that. How long did it take you to get those muscles? I mean, I've been, I've been lifting for 30 years, but, you know, off it on. It changes your whole there for like six hours of the wires your whole brain, dude. Like when you exercise at that level, my whole brain's rewired now. I think differently. I didn't drink for 13 years. I told my wife, I go, if I went to the universe, we're going to get a bottle of wine. She goes, you're going to, you said if you ever drink, you'd leave me for all right. Let's roll the dice. I go, we've got to roll the dice, honey. Let's go. So when the universe, my way class, I go out, get a $400 bottle of Opus one. You ever had Opus one? Like angels dancing on your tongue, this shit. So we go to Angelone. He's in Caldwell and they seize the bottle. The waiter, you know, you can bring your own booze to places in Jersey. I like that. And he goes, oh, that's nice. He looks at it like he wanted. And then he comes back and he pours it. My wife goes, don't drink it yet. You got a lot of breath. So look at a lot of breath for half an hour. Then there's legs running down this thing, Joey, like you're at the rockets, you know what I mean? Legs on this one and I, and I have a glass. I go, all right, I'm good with the glass. So I know I'm rewired. 'Cause in the old days, I'd have a glass. I'd go, call us a fucking Uber. Let's get four more bottles of this shit. We're not going nowhere. And then we're going to find some Coke and drop our daughter off somewhere. That's what we're doing. And I go, and I go, we're not doing that. At a glass, I go to put the cork back on, Joey. I knock the bottle over. The bottle starts falling. I go, no. Christine catches it, saves the bottle. Then she drank the rest of the bottle. So now my brain is so rewired, I can have a glass of wine. You know, once every couple of weeks, and I'm not in that, you know, it's rewired my brain from being an alcoholic. Who knows? I may fucking go back. I may start cheating on her with Thai lady boys. Or you never know what's going to happen. Are you scared of any side effects of steroids? I mean, do you read about them before you take them and see what the side effects are? Yeah. I mean, I work with a coach that tells me what I should do. But, you know, he's not a doctor. Oh, he's not a coach. But it's also like, look, I got this friend that I met. He came in with sauce when you were at, was it Count Basie? Where'd we do? Red and yellow, yeah. And he did the first show I did together. He goes, dude, I saw you with Joey, you open for Joey and blah, blah, blah. So we started talking online. And he goes, I'm going to do that contest that you're in. So we hung out great guy. I mean, his name lives in Jersey. Real good guy, beautiful family and shit. And I go, I go, you get scared of doing that. I go, you never go off. He goes, nah, I go, you're not worried about it. He's like, well, he got diced somehow. I was like, yeah. And there's this saying bodybuilders have. It's like 50 years of lion, 75 years of lamb. You're going to live like they make you happier, they make you feel great. You do everything that you can do. So you don't fucking keel over. You make sure your fucking heart's okay. You're liver, you're kidneys. And then when the doctor goes, oh shit, these levels are going up. Like guys now do blood work every few weeks. In the old days, we never did that. We just jabbed ourselves and we're like, I feel great. The fuck, I don't know why I'm out of my car, punching somebody else's car. It's probably their fault. But now they watch their blood work constantly and people gauge it like that. But I think once you get over 50, people should be on at least redder test growth. I think everybody's ready to do for you. Redder cuts your appetite down, makes all your blood panels better. It strips fat off you. It's like ozemic, but good. Like it fucking, it's got a fat burner in it. It cuts your appetite. Everybody I'm putting it on is losing. I got a friend that just put it on five weeks. He's lost 30 pounds. Amen. He feels better. Only side effects are a little bit of mild nausea. If you overeat, you feel like shit. - Yeah, you overeat. - If you overeat, you're like, oh fuck. - If I start tasting the food for the taste like it is. - Yeah. And your appetite goes way down. And as a body builder, it's like an ultimate cheat code. Makes contest prep so easy. 'Cause you're like, oh, I have no cravings. That's the hardest part of prep. That's the cravings. You die in the pizza, you don't feel that. Rewires your brain. You just go, oh, okay, I'm just gonna eat the food. I have to eat to be productive. That's it. For me, it was four pounds of fish a day. Four pounds of white fish a day. Bake potatoes, vegetables, three gallons of crystal light. How many grams of protein? Probably about 250 grams of protein. Yeah. How did you fart smell? Not bad at all. I tried to get a bottle. I'd compliment a quarter of a day of protein. Yeah. And that's a lot. I gotta do a lot to get a bucket of protein. That's a protein shake with a cheat 30 grams. Yeah. Fuck it. Are you feeling your diet? Yeah. Why not? Why is the pros and cons? I just never. I feel like I'm on Roids and I don't need creatine. I feel like all the protein I'm eating is synthesizing itself well enough. Like everything is going to muscle. And I don't need any shit now. Like it's even hard for me to have a cheat meal. I don't feel like it. Like I was like, I guess I should eat a pizza. I was like a bit of pizza. I'm like, okay, I'm good. It'd be faster than anything. No. I eat right before bed. If I want sugar cereal, I eat sugar cereal. All of a protein cookie once a week, it's not bad. How was the cheat meal after the competition itself? Insane. Went to Antelone, fuckin' dead, the Finney Finn, Fortnoy gave it an 8.8. Had some carbonara, some bacon in it. You'd love that, some galamar, some garlic knots. Next morning went out for breakfast, put on 15 pounds. Wow. Over those two meals. And you're like, I didn't eat 15 pounds of food. How's that possible? Your body's in survival mode, 'cause it thinks, I would wake up, Joy. I was in Austin shooting that thing. I'd sleep maybe three or four hours. And then wake up, I'd be like, okay, I'm good to go. And you just go for the day. And I'm like, why is it your body's in fight or flat? Your body literally thinks it's starving, 'cause you're dieting. So your body wakes up and it's like, we have to find food. But you're not thinking that. You're just like, I'm awake. I'm gonna go do cardio, go pose, work out. It's fuckin' nuts. It's insane. It's like a heightened level of existence. Everything gets worse. Oh, I'm gonna shit you were doing. Like the Winnie V and the-- No Winnie V, Winnie V's impossible to find now. There's just Winnie tabs. They have the tabs. There's no more. The Winnie V was that way. I had so much interestable. I don't know if it's any good. You have old Winnie V. Somebody gave me right before the pandemic. Really? They said, I want you to go on and they said, you gave me like a dire no-mengar, it's gold. I just got them in my dress. I'll stop by. Oh, thank you. They gotta be fuckin' expired. But in our world, those things are even better than your original. Still take a fuck, yeah. It's just a suggestion, man. So with all this now, I've watched only the clips from the special. Talking about the pros and cons of TRT, are you on TRT also? Yeah. Jesus Christ. You're like a human fuckin' expose. I feel great, though, Joe. You look great. And I'm not depressed. I'm not-- I think that there's-- if you're at a level where you're doing the right amount, it's positive. But of course, the addict in me is like, I should do more. And that's where my coach, my friend, Denny, goes, why? You feel great. You look great. So what-- it's law of diminishing returns. You want to take more, so you're going to get bigger. But psychologically, it's going to fuck you up. On the inside, it's going to fuck you up. I think there's a fine line when people do the right amount that makes you feel fucking great. I feel way better than I did. It's crazy, isn't it? And what peptides are you on now? Wolverine stack and red or true tight. And then I-- Just two? Yeah. Then I get some other stuff. I've got CMACs. I haven't tried that. I've got NAD. I shoot that. How is it? This one is. I shoot like three times a week, 60CC, whatever the fuck that is. That's a lot. I shoot the fuck that. That's not-- That's not 60CCs. That's not 60CCs. 60CCs is 60 full needles. I do. I do. TB 500 twice a week, and I do BPC five nights a week. Yeah. So like Sunday I do it, maybe a Thursday. Where are you shooting your belly? No, my arms. I haven't taken the belly yet. I think I'll find you. You get your wife to do it or you do yourself. Yeah. I had a train from scratch. I kept telling them to stop putting in the fucking muscle. Yeah. It's not intra-fucking muscle. Yeah. So she finally figured out how to get the fat on the ear arm. You don't feel the fucking thing. I know. It's not bad. Huh? The stomach's not bad. You just have to close your eyes. Because I was doing the shots, the weight loss shots, like a couple of years ago. And you do get a little light headed. It doesn't hurt, but just seeing a needle go into you, for example. Yeah. I don't want to see it. So just close your eyes, like a boop, and then it's not bad. I don't look when I get blood taken. I'll look away. Like that. You do that? Or you look at it. I look away. Sometimes I bring earphones so I don't hear the paper ripping from the needle. Really? That's how fucking perfect. I put on a Santana every time I get blood. Same song. I love the earphones. The one from Carlitos Way. I keep no. Oye, come over. Yeah. That. That. I fucking. I have my finger on the thing. Yeah. And once I give it, let me know when you're going to start. Once you tighten this thing, I just live it there. Once you start rubbing the alcohol on my arm, I press my little Santana music, and I look the other way. Yeah. I think of things, you know, fantasies, Clarisse. And next thing you know, she's done and she's folded my arm after that. Yeah. When I go to waste a while, when you walk in there, they pop an IV in it. Yeah. And I used to faint that the fuck man. No more. I walk in there at 11 o'clock, giving my arm. She twists a little bit first shot right in the fucking vein. Joe, yeah. I went and got my blood done two weeks ago and the girl was fucking loud away. I went and got my blood done. There you go. Two weeks ago. Fuck you, whispering to the phlebotomist was fucking gorgeous. So I start talking to her and I go, well, my blood's okay, you know, all the test them on and shit and you can see her getting involved. And I go, what are you doing this weekend? Because I'm going down the shore with the kids. It's fun because they can drink now. I go, just you and the husband and her. She was my husband passed away. I go, oh, I'm so sorry. I go, man, it must be tough. How was it rebound? And she goes, ah, I was seeing this guy. He's a fuck boy. Fucking done with that guy. I go, you work out a lot, huh? I was like, this Jewish bulls are sure to show me your apps. I go, holy fuck, how old are you? She goes 50. She goes, look at this, brings up her Instagram, starts showing me pictures. I go, look at these, showing my apps. Then I'm like, so you go on a long week child in this weekend. Yeah, I go, you should come to a show. You want to come watch me do comedy or something? I go, it's, it's real offensive. You'll like it, man. And I go, bring your son or something like that. And then D I'm there. And I'm like, I can't fuck this lady. She lives too close to me. You ever have that thought? You can't cheat because she lives too close. That's what I thought. But if my wife goes to my urologist and she's like, ah, that's your husband. I'm fucking him. You know, so I fucking, I asked that right away. But I liked the fact she was taking my blood and she had abs and she's hot. And the doctor poked his head in while we're flirting and he looked all upset. Like she does this with everybody or something. And I was like, my new business. I'll talk to you in a few minutes. And this doctor, by the way, I don't even think he's a doctor. I'll tell him I'll go, I go, I was taking anivore and I go, my iron's low. I don't know if it's because the anivore is like, hang on. He Googles, would anivore lower iron? He goes, nah, it says here. I wouldn't. I'm like, you don't know the answer. He's googling it. Why don't I just stay home, save the $75 copay and Google my own shit? I don't trust these doctors, Joey. What's up, beautiful people? The weight is over. Football is here and so is Draft Kings. Draft Kings is now live in all 50 states. Think about that for a minute. That's called the party, Jack. One app, every sport, nation-wide, new Draft King customers. Let me talk to you about something. Sign up now with Code Joey. New customers only spend five bucks. I'm going to get you $200 in rewards within 21 days. That's 200 bucks within 21 days and that includes all the markets. That's Code Joey. So download the app, press and code Joey, J-O-E-Y. And let's get the football season started. Hey, I'm with you guys. I'm in partnership with Draft Kings where the crown is yours. Gambling problem called 1-800-Gamber. 1-800-MyReset. Connecticut call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boothill, Casino and Kansas. Bed tax pass through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over. Void in Canada. Bed with Draft Kings sportsbook to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Or trade with Draft Kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. A vent contract trading involves risk of loss. Predictions offer void in New York. Nonwithdrawable rewards issued as $50 clicked to claims every seven days for 21 days. Terms at DKNG.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state. Hey, Uncle Joey, I want to talk to you about in the cloud. The fall is in the air. What that mean in the clouds in your world. In the cloud has everything for perfect four days. Pre-rolls. Top shell flower when you want to go jump in the leaves. An extra strength sleep gummies when you just need a little break at night. Me, you know what I like? I like those job blows and those 500 milligrams tasty double treats they have. All in the cloud products, a federally legal THC and lab tested. That's right. Lab tested. So if you're 21 older, go to indecloud.co. That's dot CO not dot com and use code church. CHURCH for 30% off your first subscription order. That's 30% off. That's no joke. That's in the cloud dot CO code church for 30% off. Your subscriptions ships regularly and discreetly with three gifts and free shipping on qualifying orders. Don't forget when you ordered to fill out the quick survey to support the show. I want to thank indecloud for the great products they make. And I want to thank them for supporting the church. What's happening now? Love you guys. Have a great week in the cloud. Hey, you know, you got into a weird brisky business. You need them or you could just go, you know, what is that when you fuck somebody without a condom? You could great dog it. Great dog. You can run it's a dead lady. You could run dog it. Yeah. And see what happens. I mean, you know, listen, this modern shit that we're talking about here. Not everybody's doing this. It's not like you go to get fucking 60 year old doctor and talking about peptides. He's going to look confused. Yeah, they don't know. They don't know guys. So you're going to these people that don't know and it's not that specialty or whatever. And then you got these clinics that are popping up. They're kind of helpful. They're all over Edgewater and Hoboken because they have money. And people could do that shit. They could get the shots and all that stuff. But this new shit that coming along with, you know, I have a friend, George Doz, who's been smoking crackers all life. He had cancer. He went to the doctor for treatments. No more cancer in this fucking ass to wreck them cancer, whatever the fuck that shit is. It's a whole different world now. You have a problem now. You go to doctor nine out of 10. No salvage. Listen, at the end of the day, you're going to fucking die. Yeah. But if you want to better quality of life, then why not go see these guys? I hate needles. I hate all that chitter chat in the doctor's office and fingers up my ass and fucking, you know, what prescriptions are you on? You know, lady, I have no idea. Yeah. Don't ask me. Even after I challenge, do you see my wife here? No. Yeah. Don't ask me those questions. If you need to talk to her, you could call them. Yeah. They don't give a fuck. They'll come at me with the same thing. So many milligrams a month. I lost. I'm done. I don't think I think you're a fucking idiot. Yeah. I just told you ten times. Yeah. I got so much. My mind is so little. I got so much storage in there. You want me to remember my fucking prescriptions? I don't know. I know I blow a thing in the morning for my lungs. Yeah. I take fucking retired pills for focus. There's a couple of things I take. I don't fucking know. And they're all fucking blood pressure related. Yeah. Oh, do you take this or is it that? Listen, lady. Don't ask again. What about lexapro? I don't think I take that. Take lexapro. No, no, no. That's how the shit for crazy people. Yeah. That's all you take. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Ease me off. That's good shit. And do they blood test you for these competitions? No. No. No. Is anyone not doing this stuff? That's what I'm waiting for. Listen, if this motherfucker told me that all he does is eat steak and shoot BPC, we wouldn't have be having this conversation because there's those guys that look at you. Yeah, I'm more natural. Yeah. I push him straight 30 eggs a day. Okay. You got to go. Yeah. Those are the guys that burn you the fuck up. Yeah. Just tell me to shoot. You look great. I'm not here to judge you. But don't sit here and lie to me and say you never did nothing. No, not even Joe weed or something. It's okay. Yeah. And when did this stuff like 50 whatever I whenever Arnold was doing it? Like he was he doing stuff like this with this stuff around at all. Yeah. Okay. They're watching peptides back then. Not in their levels. Arnold was doing the same shit everybody else was doing those day D ball. Yeah. That could drop in maybe some testosterone. Yeah. Some symphony. There was old school shit. Yeah. Now this is different fucking thing for every muscle. Because I was reading somebody a year ago about a guy who shot a certain steroid to bulk up. But his shoulders needed extra work. So it was some other steroid. I'm like I don't even know about they shoot sin fall in their shoulders now. You can tell because they have you can't see the striations in them. You can't see the cuts. They're just round guy shoot. It's literally like oil that they just shoot in that puffs them up. And then there's people getting surgery getting plastic inserted in their muscles now. What are you talking like cancerous plastic? That's how bad people want to win. And you know where you get when you win these contests, right? What do you win a plastic trophy? Well, I probably like if you win the misto limpia. If you win the Olympia 750 grand, if you win the Arnold a million dollars, those are two. Those are the two biggest ones. That's the one in Columbus. Yeah. Good one. That's great. That's a great one. But that's it. I mean, I saw a guy won so everybody wants to turn pro. Well, at the universe they go, if you win your class, you get your pro card. I won my class. I'm like, where's my pro card? They go, oh, there's got to be five people in your class. There was three. So I didn't get my pro card, right? So I'm like, okay. And I asked the guy, so how do we resolve this? He goes, you compete more. Now, these guys that run these competitions make a fucking mint. Yeah. Because everybody enters, you got to pay to enter. Then there's sponsors. Then there's people buying tickets. They only take cash at the door. How many competitions? They only take cash. said to the door, I brought the girls in, got them VIP seats, that's 140 bucks for the nighttime show. That's 140 bucks. So I mean, these guys that run these shows, very nice guys, but they're making a fucking mint. If you're a bodybuilding promoter, you're making a good fucking living. And these guys fucking, you know, 20 weeks of starve in yourself and going crazy to get on stage, you get one minute to pose. You're posing routines one minute, and then you go, I was lucky enough I get to go for the overall. Like you win your class, you get to go out and pose against these other guys, but these other guys are 80 pounds heavier than me. I'm a lightweight. So it's very rare that you're going to beat these guys. Came close. The first show I did, I took second to a guy that was 80 pounds more than me. And it was that, and you know, there was like eight people in the class. Do you have closing poses? Like is it like a set, like a standup set when you're posing? Yeah. Yeah. You want to close strong. You want to close with your biggest, your longest, wordiest thing. And then, and then I went out and I started yelling at the crowd because they were so quiet. I go, come on, this is an overall pose down. Let's go, people. And I was like, oh, I'm seeing this thing now. Like it was, it was like that. Man, it's, it's so much fun. But you get, you get a plastic trophy, you get a metal. And then you get to feel good. But a guy won, once you turn pro, there was a guy that was 50 plus. So he turned pro into masters category. He's like, finally won my first pro show. He was holding up a check for $600. $600. And how much do you spend on all the shots? Okay. So steroids are the least expensive of your expense. You've got a gym membership, you got coach, you got posing coach, posing coach, by the way, is 120 bucks for a half hour session. That's a posing coach. I work with the best posing coach in the country. And then, and you got to keep doing it because you got to keep getting better. And it's all bodybuildings and illusion. It's how you're, how you're holding your body is going to hide your weaknesses and highlight your strengths, right? So guys that don't know how to pose, you could have the best body in the world. You're still going to look like shit. Then groceries, you're talking probably close to 400 bucks a week over 20 weeks. You're talking eight grand. Then your juice, G H is 600 bucks a month. Then you hopefully get your peptides for free. You know, you work with a peptide company, you get your peptides for free. But then your juice, your test is pretty cheap. You got to prescribe. It's like, you know, 40, 50 bucks a month, master owns 80 bucks a bottle, shit like that. The steroids aren't crazy. Food is the biggest expense. And then you got to travel to these shows. You got to put yourself up in a hotel and it's fucking spray tan. You, that you want photos of it. That's like two to three hundred dollars for someone to take pictures of you. These guys are making a mint. I can't believe you go from one fucking frying pan to the other one. Some people, why don't you just do ballet? You know, no, you got to do two things with your fates and the audience fans. Yeah. That is fucking crazy. Yeah. But it's fucking great. Oh, no, the rush must be fantastic. And the people in it, the people that do this, the best people, we, this is you walk in a room of a hundred two hundred people that look like assholes. When you, if you saw them on the street, you'd be like, look, this meat had dick nicest people in the world. Good God fear and everybody's back there. Fucking praying and shit like that. Come off stage with these guys. He's like, man, can we do a prayer together, man? I don't want to offend nobody. And you just stand there having a god. Thank you for allowing us to compete and be healthy and meet all these new friends. And you're like, these nicest fucking people in the world. They're a bunch of bitches. Fucking trying outside of a club. They're fucking cry babies. Fucking bitches. This is exceptions. But most comics, you know, in the city of fucking cry babies. I'm out of it. I can go over there. I get it. Funny, we've been talking a lot about peptides. I want to give somebody a shout out. The people I deal with in Jersey. I love her. I know her family really well. And the father owns a gym, she owns a pilates studio. And about two years ago, she got into peptides. And she's like a fucking human book. You know, like you could ask Annie, she was like a million bucks. Yeah. So she started her own air peptides that company. That's what's called air peptides.com. She'll give you 20% off for some cocoa 20. You get 20% off. Yeah. She really knows a shit. She always throws you some extra in the bag. Last year me this red stuff. I looked it up. It's like tremendous. If I shoot an IV every day, it's like this 20 CCs, bam, your brand, no, it's red. I haven't tried it yet. I, I, I dropped GPT to fucking, it's good stuff. So she threw that in. She goes, let me know what you think. Nice. Look it up. Do some research. Ask me any questions you want. So I like dealing with her. The other people I deal with when I'm locally in Jersey. If I need a quick fix is underground nutrition. They're good guys. They know they're shit. Yeah. My man Jordan, you know, it's a good dude. And so I got people like a male from for you guys that live across the country. We want to deal with a reputable company. She's as reputable as shit. I mean, she's walking and so on. And I talked to her the other day to me the Friday. It was an hour conversation. She's so interesting. I mean, you talked to somebody about peptides and they're opening up. She just gives me a pack every month. Yeah. And says, let me know what you think and don't try that until you get off of that. So good. Listen, I'm an old man. I want to work for another 15 months, 16 months, you know, and fucking them. We'll, we'll take it from there. I just want to be healthy for that. Good. You look good. So for me losing a little weight. Yeah. I'm telling Pedro that as you mature as a comic, when she started headlining, you don't know what lifting weights is. Do you do two shows on a Friday and Saturday, 45 minutes and the crowd depends on you. Like you're the one that's selling tickets that affects you. The affects your whole body. You do two shows after two flights. You're fucking beat up. And I tell you what, I don't get this beat up anymore since I've been working out now. It's like a Friday night to me. But there were times where I get home from Friday night, the second show, I have to put ice on both knees, ice on my hip. I can feel it when I walk. You know, your feet grab onto the floor. You're fucking an animal. So yeah, I enjoyed doing this crazy shit. Yeah, me too. We're all going to die. Yeah. And I'm going to turn the clock back because no system is anti agent. What we can do is prepare to get old without plastic surgery or fucking fake eyebrows. I'm going to fuck these people. You know, if you could do one medical thing to change your body, penis extension, calf implants, what would you do? Anything. I try to lose 40 pounds. Yeah. Take some visceral fat off me. We need the big dick. If you got visceral fat, that's going to kill you anyway. Yeah. I rather the two-inch dick and look fucking like Jan Michael Vincent's. You know, I saw that motherfucker. I told you I watched Cooper the other day. Yeah. It's a good fucking movie. Bert Reynolds him. Sally Field. That's what I am. That girl can act holy shit. She was cute. I can't believe he was dating. When's the special come out tomorrow? The eighth comedy gets jacked September the eighth. Yeah. Shot in Austin. Creek in a cave. And what platform is that? YouTube and gas digital. You feel good about it. Well, you feel good about it. It's really good. It was a bunch of you guys. Tripoli. Me, Tripoli. Uh, who else? Zach Amico. Uh, Tim Butterley. Dave Landau. Good for those guys to give very young comics. I put toys. Yeah, young. Last fucking Gomez and the other fucking guy. Yeah. They know what they're doing. They're like concerts every fucking night. Yeah. You know, guys are going crazy. Yeah. They go fucking crazy. And listen, man, they work hard throughout the pudding skank fest together and shit. So are you going to go? I don't know yet. I got plans that Friday night. You know, it's a blast. Are you going? I don't think I got in. I got the weekend before though in Chicago on the Wisconsin. I got the week afterwards. And I got the week after. So it's going to be a lot of them. Yeah. You've been in New Orleans before. Oh, yeah. I shot it. I shot a movie there. I went movie. Rudge match with Deliro and Kevin Hart. Yeah. I went there for a couple of comedy shows. Not my favorite cup of tea. No. Foods overrated. Did you notice that? I like the food. I thought it was overrated. Yeah. I went to the fried stuff. Oh, yeah. That's why. Oh, my God. I want to throw me gumbo and maybe I got to have a good gumbo. A good shrimp. Poor boy is good. Yeah. A little thing. Yeah. After a little bit. Yeah. Shit. But yeah, it's, uh, you know, it's a nice place to shoot the special. Yeah. And now they're doing skank fest. No, November 8th or something. I spoke to them. It's just a matter of time. Yeah. It's three long days. You're surrounded by people. That's a lot. It could go less. You could say it. I'm gonna go play, then you gotta play and I'm gonna let me go on like on Friday night if I want. Yeah. It's a good time. I think about it. He was going on. Yeah. A lot of Jews doing that stuff, is there? Are you like the only Jew at these competitions? No, there's a few, but you can't tell. They blend in very well. They take the stars off their arms. Yeah, the yellow stars that they give on the way and they just strip them off. That's it. They'll take it off. Yeah. Yeah. I think Ben Weeder was Jewish, the guy that started. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I took a lot of his fucking products, snore to them too, because he used to have Chlorline, Inazotol pills in the 80s. Yeah. And when Chlorline ran out to cut the Coke, I would just go, I would just go over there and give him Chlorline, Inazotol. All my, all my fucking clients were skinny and ripped. What did that stuff do? Ripped you up. Chlorline, Inazotol, together. It's a myth, fat burner. Yeah. I think it don't do Dictia, but if you start it, it gives you the reap reward. You get all skinny and stuff. It's not the Coke that makes you skinny. It's the leader products. I think the Coke makes you skinny, but the Chlorline, Inazotol, gives the skinnyness a little definition. Okay. Let's just say that, gives you a little definition. That's a good stack. Coke and Chlorline. That's a myth. So tell me why there's no Winstrow, you can't find. Winstrow V, you can't find it anymore. The injectable Winstrow's really hard to find. Orl, nothing. Orl, yeah, at the tabs, but not the white milky shit that you still say for any age. I mean, Orls go through it. People say you should inject instead of the Orls. They think it's safer to inject. Yeah. I mean, I drank a bottle of Dr. De Roblin one time. No, you didn't. Yes, I know you didn't. Yes, I did. So fucking mercies, fucking, I swear to God, I was living in Boulder. It was right before I got arrested for kidnapping. And there was a guy, Tom, big fucking John O'Way, looking, fucking cowboy, looking mother, fucking, we detailed cars together. And one night he goes, after work, what are you going to do? I go, I don't know. He goes, give me a ride home. I'll shoot you with some steroids. I thought he was just fucking killing me this guy. Yeah. I drive home. He's like, come on in, man. Let me shoot you with some stuff. He was big this guy. Yeah. And I went to his house and his sister fed me and shit. He said, come to the basement. I went down and he had all the needles ready. And shit, oh my dog, I ain't fucking doing that. Because those days, it was 1987. I was totally anti-needles. Yeah, but that was not going to happen. It's like dog just all up here. All these shit. I was a baby, you know. And finally, he had like the ball of it that you stick the needle in and I fucking ripped the top off and I go, why can't I drink it? He's not going to work. I go watch me. I drank the fucking who was in that. What happened? I don't know. Here I am. What can I drink? It's fucking nuts. That's fucking nuts. You didn't feel sick. Huh? He's got really red. Yeah. Are you going to be like a ripped at like 70? Are you going to be like this big? I hope. I mean, yeah, I want to keep doing it. I love it. Till the day I die, I think. Till the day I die, I'm going to the gym. Yeah, but going to the gym is a little bit different than the fuck I can't imagine for you. Yeah, I can't do it. You have veins in your knee. I can't see what the fuck is that. I'm blown away. Pie all the stuff you're doing. Thanks, man. It feels great. You could do it, you know. You know, I got really inspired when I saw a documentary, a muscle building, bodybuilders in Okinawa, Japan, because they weren't young. The leash starts at 65. So it's 65 to 75, 75 to 85 and 85 to 95. I watched this whole thing. I was blown the fuck away. It really inspired the fuck out of me. But then I watched something different. Well, I read something different. They're saying that Okinawa takes that death certificates to lie about the population, because they don't want people to move that. Because they say it's the island and the world where you live the longest. Really? Yeah, they lived the longest. But now they're saying that for years. They didn't tell people that the people were dead. They just kept their births so if it gets to make it seem like they lived to 114 and 118 and all that. Really fucking interesting. The culture is forged older people. And like they were into the owner woman and she goes, they asked how many boyfriends you got? It's like three of them. She goes, it's like a paradise for all the people. We fuck, we suck. We eat fish. Yeah. So we fish and swing dick and live weights. That's all these motherfuckers did. They showed these guys. They showed the 75 to 85 year old league. And that was the he won the 85 year old. And they said, that's it starting next year. You go to the 86th, you know, 95. And they were saying how deep that category is. Really deep and really hard. And they showed some listen, they're fucking eight 90 years old. Yeah. Okay. It's a third of your pack. It's not even it's like just but at 70, at least they have that bird body. Yeah. With the six pack. They all have six packs. Yeah. All of them got six packs, striations and their thighs. And fat's bad for you. If you got a lot of fat, that's how disease gets carried is in fact. In fact. Yeah. So ever since that, I was like, wow. But we don't do in this country. We just give up after 48. Now there's a boom for people over 50. And now there's a boom. I was talking to my jiu-jitsu friend the other day. He said two guys. 74 joined two weeks ago. Yeah. He goes, Joey, they're in there killing each other. These two guys, they know each other from some pool league or something. Yeah. He goes, you got to see these motherfuckers. They're in there poking each other's eyes and shitting, choking each other with their locks and stuff. And I go, you know, you don't have, you know, as you get older, nobody wants to hang out with you. That's why those old dudes go to jiu-jitsu every fucker. This is 16. He's 69 now. Yeah. For the recon guy, it was up easy. He had a karate school on the Bronx and he was a principal, a grandma school on the Bronx. And he retired. He goes, that's all I do is go to jiu-jitsu. Yeah. Mother fucker, he's 69. He goes five days a week. People say even better than the exercises, the sense of community that you get at these places. So what? Sense of community. Yeah. That's it. Listen, I always tell people, you want to meet people, in your time, go to jiu-jitsu studio. Yeah. You're gonna, everything that you need is gonna be there. steroids, peptides, weed, mushrooms, muscles, trainers, cops, detectives, everybody's in one place. Yeah. You're lonely in a town. Just go to fucking just the school. You'll meet everybody you need to meet. Go to the best one and everybody you're needing your life is gonna be there. I swear to God, whatever your needs are in life, there's gonna be somebody like, hey, I do that. My brother does that. Yeah. And you're like, God damn it. Yeah, you'll get a PBA card for sure. But you don't need PBA cards. I got from that fucking jiu-jitsu school. 18. I got like one. The guy is the driver to the governor. Yeah. He's Mickey Cheryl's driving now. He goes to that jiu-jitsu school. Yeah. And we talked for a year and he never knew I was Uncle Joey. Really? And we took a picture at jiu-jitsu in class one day and he came back and he goes, I gotta talk to you about something. And then we walked downstairs and he goes, hey man, I want to give you something. He goes, because you always talked to me like a gentleman. I didn't have an idea you were a comedian. He goes, I showed the picture of the class and all these cops were like, how do you know him? Yeah. And he's like, oh man, I hope you jiu-jitsu. He's an old fat guy that shows up. And they're like, no. He's like, he was a big nice man. Yeah. Yeah. And he was. I was being like, he was very nice. Yeah. I like when somebody don't know what a fuck I am. They treat me like a human being. Of course. So for like six months, he didn't know anything about anything. He doesn't watch comedians. Yeah. And then he came back and he gave me that card. You know, when it's number on it, you really have a pinch one night call me out, come get you. But that's all in that jiu-jitsu school. Yeah. The trainer that I go to now, I'm in that jiu-jitsu school. I loved it. The lunchtime classes, I wouldn't take, I wouldn't do shit. I don't give a fuck. If you had a meeting for me, I'd rather go to jiu-jitsu at 12. Yeah. The 45 minute class, I have a little 45 minute class. Three days a week, that class was my heart. You go in there, you wrestle, you get beat up and you go home. Yeah. One, two guys, you wrestle with, you mess around with another guy. And you talk to eight and nine people. And as you get older, that's the problem you're gonna have. So yeah, but you're, I go to the gym, you go to the gym by yourself. I don't want you to join crunch and be the celebrity. It's a, be the fucking, the town cryer. But I'll go to a middle-level gym. The people at the gym, my middle-level gym, they're people that are 80 and 70. Yeah. And I torment the women at those gyms. I tell them they're looking good. And they still, there's a hot one, like 68. Yeah. And I always tell a work on that's working. Yeah. I always tell you, I start to work and baby. When I take you to cousins, I want you to I'm working like a motherfucker. - Dude. - Older ladies are sexy now. - They're what? - Sexy. - Oh, they got good old pussy. - That shit's experienced telling you. It's nice and kept 60s, 60s, 60s stretches in and shit. - Yeah. - It becomes selective. The smell of condoms gets out of there. - Yeah. - It's just straight up fucking, what do they call a bobo? What do they call it, a little clip? The bobo, whatever the fuck. That's what the fuck, that's why the bobo, I don't think I pulled it. - Older women, that's my shit right there. - It's a fucking nightmare, man. But listen, congratulations on your special. - Thank you. - Congratulations on winning the competition. - Thank you. - For everything you got into it. I'm proud to call you a friend. And next time show up to the dojo, and you're supposed to, you know what I'm saying? - Well, I promise. - You've been busy. - I've been busy. - What's going on with auditions or anything, anything lately? - What do I, I did an episode of Boston Blue with Donnie Walberg. - That's right, I sure am. - So Donnie's gonna have me and my wife for her birthday, send a nice little video, I go, can you send her a video? He goes, hey, your husband's here, he's killing it. By the way, if you can be in Vegas, the beginning of October, I got backstage passes for you for new kids on the block. - So you go? - So we're gonna fly down and go see new kids on the block. They're my favorite band, all their songs, like the one and the other one and that other one. - I'm gonna take this out of the podcast, okay? And I usually don't cut shit out of the podcast, but I don't want nobody knowing real boys to men fan. Keep that to yourself. - No, boy, boy. - Whatever the fuck they love. - I don't know any of this stuff, my wife knows it. So we're gonna get Donnie's the nicest guy. You met Donnie? - Oh, all the time. - Boy, that guy said that guy said that guy's one of the top four Walbergs, I'll tell you right now. He is a nut, that guy's an angel. - He's the one that's married to Jenny McCarthy. But this guy, just such a positive vibe, comes in, he's rocking out. I go, what do you listen to? He goes, "Music from the Lord." All right, there we go. Let's go do these scenes. He's a born again Christian, right? - I think he's, yeah. I mean, I didn't ask him. - They're all all those Hollywood guys. They gotta take the taste of cocktail in their mouth. (laughing) So they become born again. That's maybe come born again. When you gotta take the taste of cocktail in your mouth. Also, they turn to Jesus. Jenny McCarthy too, she's another one. She comes up with a retarded kid, now she wants to save the world. You got a retarded kid, let it go, let it go, Jenny. You got good pussy, but it's spit out a retarded kid. So it's not that good in my world, you know what I'm saying? (laughing) I look out for your pussy and you spit retarded kids. - I'm saying that you watch the tickets. (laughing) There's no more tickets. It's like Lana with the kid that runs away. You pussy always spits out retarded kids and then. - I don't know, nothing but nothing. I just know I'm going to see a concert. I don't know, nothing but nothing. Forget about it. (laughing) They gotta get the taste of cocktail in their mouth. (laughing) - In the name of the father and the son of the holy ghost. - When his fucking fake eyebrows and his wig, he's done the fucking rethink eight times to your head. Let it go. Let it go. Jim Carrey abused me bitch. You were passed around the playboy mansion. What do you mean, Jim Carrey abused you? Get smuggled in there through the tunnels with little Paris Hilton and shit. (laughing) I'm happy this is a good Christian podcast. I'm. - It's good. - It's good. - What's the text you got, brother? What kind of action you got, brother? - What do you mean I'm not allowed backstage no more? (laughing) No, it's not Uncle Joey. He's just the little guy at the gym. - Yeah. - What do I get? - I didn't call you some retarded. (laughing) - It's my friend. It wasn't me. Let me back there. - Then they want to get it like sympathy and they bring the kid in camera. The kid's eyes are out here. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that to me? The kid's retarded. Leave it all. - I didn't see it on them. It's nothing. (laughing) - Oh. What kind of date she got this boy with the brother man? (laughing) (laughing) (laughing) - Oh my goodness, it should listen. I'm getting old and I'm seeing things what they are. They're the day. - I look at you and I go, "Why are we playing around this?" - Yeah. - Why are we tip-toeing around this? - I feel the same way. - It's a nice thought. You gotta call these fucking idiots out in Hollywood. - Yeah. - You got, they're just, they're out so out of control. Instagram is completely out of control. The fucking Kanye West daughter. What the fuck is that? - I didn't see it. - It looks like Herman Munster, if you got the legs off, you ever seen Kanye daughter? With big boots on, singing and they're taking pictures and Kanye says she's pregnant. That this is, this cannot be happening. - Yeah. - This would not happen 30 years ago. - Now the world's fucked up. - And it just gets accepted every night like, and every time you open Instagram, you're like, whoops, let's see what fucking surprise. Oh, the guy's swimming. There's a guy on Instagram. Oh, he does the swing kettlebells all day. All day long, turkeys get up. Go get some, go do something. You look at all those weight. I mean, they drive you fucking crazy. So I gotta stop even going on there no more. Because the world's fallen to shit. We're getting involved in all this shit. Thank God, nobody has brought up that court with the lady and killing the kids. I don't know nothing about it, but I don't wanna hear nothing about it either. 'Cause I don't give a fuck about her, the kids, whoever. I went to one, get together this week. And all these women were talking about, I left. I went in the car and got a high and never came back. I was like, where you going? I don't know nothing about that shit. I don't wanna talk about that shit enough. Enough, I control what comes into your ears. I don't need to hear this shit no more. - Yeah. - You fucking retarded kid with the eyes. The fuck out of here. Give me a breather. - Yeah. It takes the cock out of your mouth. What date you got this one, the playboy? - I gotta, I'ma be comedy key last September 16th to 20th. I'm in Wayne, New Jersey, September 23rd. - What's the name of the place on Wayne, brother? - It's the pal. 'Cause the other place had a fire. They normally do it at the community center. - Yeah, it's lightning. - Well, police athletic league. Yeah. And then. (laughs) - You got a New Year's gig, bro? - Not yet. I like to stay in the city New Year's. What are you doing New Year's? Stay home in my bed. No reasons to come. - Stay in the city. - Stay in the city New Year's. - It's a fucking amateur crowd. And especially now, they're all waiting for, you know. Kanye's daughter whatever the fuck she's doing. It's gonna start doing stand-up at the seller. And then what else? Oh, Columbus, Ohio, October 10th, Cleveland, Ohio. - October 11th. - You got the funny burn? - No, I'm doing Columbus. I'm doing comedy attic. And then Cleveland, I'm doing hilarities. - Thank you for coming on today. - Thank you for having me special. Fuck yeah. - Don't forget to follow 'em on a special, comes on on YouTube and gas digital. What's the name of it? - Keep the cock out of your breath. And that's a work in title. I think it's called comedy gets jacked. - What do you got, little brother? - September's a big month. Got the Saratoga Comedy Festival. Got the Helium and Buffalo. And then I have Boca Black Box and Tampa size blurs. - Fuck yeah. - When I got nothing, you got some. - I'm moving to Austin. Next Thursday, the 17th, I got a show in the little room. Joey Dears and Friends. And then September 30th, what the Brooklyn Empire. That's all we got right now. What can I tell you? Everybody's happy. Thank you brother. - Thank you bro. - Thank you. - Thank you mother fuckers. Thank you for being a part of the experience today. We touched on some interesting topics. I hope you learned something. And if you didn't, I don't know what the fuck to tell you. I love your cock suckers. Have a great week. (rock music) (rock music)