Josh Homme w/ Mark Normand &Sam Morril - We Might Be Drunk Podcast

I don't know how you feel. If you want to drink or you want to go agua, you're called. I just had a screwdriver in the car. I don't know if that was a little prep. Hey, nothing wrong with that. No judgment here. Yeah. What are you having? I can join you. We can stay on the vodka train. I can do a midday beer. Oh, there's a whole thing. We got a full bar, baby. Yeah, I could live like that. I just take my own. No, we got a fun bar, bitch. What kind of drink are you in the mood for? What was that? He's showing you his tattoo. I thought it was just rings. Oh, what's on? Oh, yeah, I love it. What does that mean? Yours is bigger than mine. Ah, heard that before. Yeah, I'll take a vodka. That would be fantastic. Make it two. Yeah, make it three. Do you go just straight? Oh, oh. Yeah, send it. No, yeah, wiggle it with something. I might go soda. Maybe a vodka soda. Yeah, three vodka sodas. I love it. Yeah, perfect. All right. How are you doing, ma'am? All right. That's Dana. Hey, Dana. Hey, Dana. You're off camera. Don't worry. We're rolling? Oh, we're rolling. Geez, I didn't know that. Well, dude, thanks for coming on the pod. Oh, thank you for having me. I'm a big fan. Oh, geez, you're the one. Yeah. Thank you. Wow. Well, the new album is awesome. It's so good. But we don't have to talk about it. We could talk about anything. All right. I just thought, you know, yeah, I have a new record, but who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? You look great. Yeah. You look good. Oh, thank you. What did you do? I got cancer. Damn. Wait, really? Yeah. Oh, geez. No, I got sick, and then it just sort of woke me up to a whole bunch of things I'd been not paying attention to in my life. But that's why I thought I'd come here and drink in the day. That's what doctors recommend after a diagnosis. Yeah. They say it's vodka. Was it colon, anal, liver? What kind of thing? It was. It was removed, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. I was able to get it really early, but I had all these complications. There was probably a doctor mistake that I could have pursued if I was a. I don't know. Maybe I could have. Whoa. But that led to all kinds of complications and stuff. But honestly, I think those types of things, they're life-changing oftentimes in a negative way. But if you make it through them, the life. It's life-changing in a really great way. Sure, sure. It changed my outlook on everything, you know? Whoa. I really started enjoying things. Yeah, yeah. That's true. I got to get cancer, man. Yeah. It'll wake you up. Dana actually brought some for both of you. There's a gift bag over there with radiation pills. Well, yeah. Our friend got hit by a bus, and he's got a new lease on life. He's never been happier. He's like, I didn't realize how good my life was. I'm happy. I couldn't agree more. It was almost more the complications post that, because they were so long and difficult. And also, the people that rallied around me that were my family and friends, you just knew instantly who was on your team. Right. You know? And it just. Yeah, I thought, oh, it reduced everything that was important to something you count on one hand. Right. It's just shit my grandma told me, you know? Sure. Yeah. Sure. What's that old Buddhist thing? What is it? Oh, God. Wait, hold on. A guy, a healthy man wants two things, and a sick man wants one to be healthy? Yeah. No, a healthy man wants a million things. I want a new car. I want a pool. I want. And a sick guy wants one thing. Well, you know, you meet some old lady in the street, and she's like, you got your health. Yeah. And you just completely ignore what she said. Yeah. And you think nothing of it. And then. One day in New York, he's got the Jewish accent. You got your health, yeah, half a day. One vodka, he's got a New York accent. But you didn't sue the doctor, so you're not litigious. No, I mean, that's not my style. I'm amazed that things don't fail more when it comes to that. Tell me about that. You know, he did leave a Phillips head screwdriver in me, and that's why I'm asking for a screwdriver now. Hey, there we go. No, but I can't be sure, you know, that. But by the same. By the same token, I am shocked that more things don't happen when they open you up and. I know. they're rooting around. Crazy. You know? There's that Chinese style, which is you don't pay unless they heal you. Do you know about this? Mm-mm. This is brilliant. You don't pay the doctor unless you get. It's like the NFL. You get a signing bonus, like, afterwards. Thank you. You get to play all the games or something. Right. Yeah. Well, but the notion that, you know, you don't pay the doc unless it works. Well, that's the way to do it. To health. Hey. Yeah. I'll see you in health. Yeah. Go to health. All right. There could be a place like that, though. Let's go. Let's go. Called See You in Health. Yeah. I think that's sort of. Like an urgent care? Yeah. That's pretty good. That's not bad. Or just a vitamin store. Hey, I like it. That was trying to admit that, you know, health is a complicated journey. Do you know how. I mean, did he attribute the cancer to any part of. I mean, your touring act for, what, 30 years? Yeah. Did he attribute any of that to. Well, I was, you know, I'm the son of a contractor, and my dad has always said, you know, the rest of everyone only moves at the speed of the boss. Don't ask anyone to do something you wouldn't do. And I always took that really seriously. I've always been really physically hard on myself. And at other times when I was. I hate canceling. Everyone cancels. Same. Same. You know, I kind of. You'll play a gig when you feel like shit. Yeah. I was. as an example, I fractured this metacarpal and got this separation between the two fingers, like a tear between. And so I just taped the pic to my finger. I was in Australia. Whoa. And I was like, "I'm not gonna go home." Or I got salmonella once in. We didn't know what we had. You're glued to the toilet though, right? Really? Oh my God. That's a bad one. It was. We didn't know what we had in our tour manager room in Bergen, Norway. And our tour manager got quarantined at the hospital. Oh, my God. That's a bad one. Yeah. Yeah. And he said, "They're coming to the hotel. If you still want to play, get out of the hotel." So we left. Oh, wow. The hotel just kind of in quite a state and they didn't know what he had yet, so we didn't know what we had. Yeah. We ate in Germany at an Italian restaurant during some kind of World Cup style match where Italy lost. Uh-oh. And the staff was watching the television. As soon as they lost, they all turned and looked at us. And I was like, "No. I didn't. I'm not. I didn't. " And I guess we got served bad fleisch. Yeah. Yeah. They phoned it in after the loss. Yeah. They undercooked it. It really was. Is it eggs or chicken undercooked? Right? Is what they say? Yeah. Well, I think it was rancid meat. Ooh. That we got it from. Good ban, though. Rancid meat. Yeah. First three albums. Yeah. But by the time we got to Norway, it was the drummer of this guy, Joey Castillo, and our tour manager, Kevin, and myself. Yeah. Who had it. And we decided to keep playing because we thought. But I lost about 30 pounds in about seven days. Whoa. Jesus. Whoa. And you're sweating. There was. At least with your health, you'll never need Ozempic or anything. No. That's true. No. Also. I know that. I know people keep asking me that lately. Salmonella. 30 pounds is crazy. I got to get my wife on that. Yeah. That fat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Honey, I cooked for us. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. 30 pounds is wild. Well, but people die from this. They get so dehydrated and all this stuff. And when he got his test results sent back to the States afterwards, I mean, it was shocking to know that's what it was. Yeah. But by the same token, you're all the way in. It's so hard to even cancel. What do you do? I know. We're leaving from Bergen. We're going to go all the. We have to take connecting flights? Yeah. Right. Yeah. I mean, that sounds like connecting shits. No. It's just like. We're comedians. If we get Salmonella, we can go, "I got Salmonella," and then do the act. Can you. Do you say it? Or do you just play through? I mean, I can talk about it now, but I felt supremely embarrassed. You know? Why? Yeah. Rock stars have to be cool. Oh, yeah. It's funny if I'm like, "I shit myself earlier." There was a guy. Yeah, true. He. Somebody told one of the promoters as we're slowly moving from city to city that we were. That Joey and I were really ill. And so, I watched this about an hour and a half. We're playing festivals and things like that. And I watched this forklift lift a porta potty onto the side of the stage. And I go grab the promoter. I was like, "You take that thing off the stage right now." Because you don't want someone watching the show and going, "Oh, there's a honey bucket in the back of it." Right. Right. It's just not fucking cool. No. Yeah. Damn. To shit yourself dry is not cool. At least you guys had it together. That would've been weird if it was just you had it. Yeah. I mean, I feel like adding loneliness to that is really taking the mental. Sick on the road is as lonely as it gets. Oh, the worst. Yeah. I found myself laying on the bed on one side. And then I was so sweaty that I went to the other side. And then you go to the middle. And then you start laying diagonal because you feel like that's the only dry. Yes. There's some dry location. You're sweating so much. It's also funny that Ozzy bit into a bat. He's completely fine. Yeah. You have a nice Italian meal and you're fucked. Immunity. Yeah. I guess so. You know, he had that rock royalty. immunity right right right you know the british do you find as you get older the touring is like you know you're partying way harder younger now it's like all right i'll do three drinks is there like a limit where you kind of cut yourself off i i really only like i don't drink so much anymore i'll have a few drinks on stage or um but not every night you know and i just don't want to feel like shit basically and and and the shows mean everything i mean right it doesn't matter if you're a comedian or a musician if you you've left everyone you do care about to go to i was in cleveland to go to cleveland last night and so i need that show to go well yeah i'll do i'll kind of do anything to make sure that happens and if it doesn't i i really feel terrible i'm the same way because it was like why did i come here yeah why did i leave and they got a babysitter they parked the car they bought tickets and then you're up there like honestly they're getting jacked they're it's 85 bucks we're parking it's 40 bucks for a beer it's like you know i know you know you want it to i mean you can't pressurize yourself but i certainly don't if a song doesn't go well or if a few you know we're opening for the food fighters right now it's like and and if it's if if there's some people that are indifferent i don't i don't let that like bug me sure you know you kind of have to you just push through that shit you don't read comments do you no oh man good move but do you how hard are you on yourself like when when you have a show that you isn't up to your standard do you think the crowd always can feel that or do you think sometimes you're in your own head about it oh i mean i i never get it to where i'm wondering how they think i just feel so terrible i mean i don't know where you guys are at but if if i know the show wasn't good for me i want to enjoy it too yeah yeah right you know and and if it wasn't good for me and some that was amazing i'm like why don't you just stab me yeah why'd you stab me in the chair because it just i don't want to hear anything in those moments you know i'm with you i'm not a perfectionist either it's just i just no you have you have a standard you want to set i want to be one of the great live bands i want to be dependable that way and but we also change the set all every night and so there needs to be risk too it can't just be the same you know that keeps you from going on autopilot i would assume also right yeah i mean that that's the thing that's the thing that's the that for me would turn into a job type job if it's the same all that and i've seen bands that they say the same things and they um yeah it's just the same and and uh we just did a tour um that had an orchestra and stuff and we played the same set list and it was very small theaters and and i enjoyed that for a while but we didn't do it for very long you know i don't know if i would be able to do that for a whole record right you ever have the thing where the crowd loved it they all had a great time but you didn't feel like you were right i have that as a comic where i'm you'll have a good set and everybody leaves happy but i was like i was off well but so then what how do you feel what is that oh it's horrible it's it's not horrible because you're still killed but you you you want to be present and you want to feel good about it too yeah but i yeah that's when you think oh if i would have they love they loved it and i didn't what would have happened if those two things would have met where i loved it too how much would it have been that's the best yeah i mean there there is there is that crazy feeling where a show goes so well and you get those strange in the moment you're getting those strange butterflies yeah where you you know it's kind of giddy yeah like a 13 year old leaving a first date right right you're like holy shit that happened i can't you know yeah that you definitely want to hold on to seinfeld equates it to surfing when you're up on the wave and you you know it's like you're keeping the ball in the air everything's going right right you know you're you're all at one the whole room is connected well are either of you guys that sort of if it's going well you think oh well the other shoe is gonna drop sometimes sure especially when it's new material i'm like where where am i gonna lose them yeah because i'm in i'm in the building mode right now i just dumped an hour that i taped so now i'm like can how long can i get away with new shit but then you're like there's gonna be a point where i lose them and that's okay because then you just keep adjusting night after night but right yeah but but when you're as you traverse the countryside some jokes don't work in boise that do work in girls they usually do you gotta work them all everywhere you know we we're at the point now we're going international so it's like yeah i want it to work maybe maybe there's one or two i'd like a thing where draft kings was a punch line or something and that didn't work in like oslo right sure but like it's gonna work everywhere in america and then you're just like that i'll have one joke that is here and then everything else is gonna work well so okay when did you guys when did you start going international just recently a few years ago yeah we've done australia twice uh they've they've got a good sense they've got good yeah like i was in lisbon and you could feel a disconnect oh great i'm going there oh i'm going there august 29th it was good they were great but and the the rest of the world is so nice because they just no you'll be some audiences don't like at least for us i noticed that like scandinavian audiences they just they enjoy it but they don't laugh as hard that's true that's just how they are there's not going to be a comedy fest in norway no there's not there's not going to be an edinburgh in norway right right right that's just stoicism right yeah but that's all right also you know it's like that's how they receive it but i do get off stage being like what the fuck especially though when you're in the esl the english is a second language exactly because you know i like that countries have a uh stereotypical personality type like the germans um i just did you know we were just in europe and in germany and you know before i've had a german interview say your new album is terrible wow and you're and you think all right well that's not actually a question yeah worse things have happened here that's just a statement that you're saying and it's like so what will you do well i guess i'm doing it now but i i don't mind that sort of bluntness because not everyone has to like it sure but you know you watch yeah well you can't be like your wife is ugly yeah like how far we go here well you know uh well i don't know i think it's fine to be blunt i sometimes appreciate that sort of bluntness the scandinavians have that sort of bluntness at times you know yeah true but they learn their english from american telly so they speak perfect slang where if you're going to munich some of these jokes might not land as easily you know it feels yeah how much do reviews impact and albums release so do you find at this point you know i don't know i we i think for for us it's a little i've always wanted to be in a like a band's band you know like get the respect i don't want to i don't you know we just we were also opening for a system of a down in europe and they were playing these 80 000 seat places and that's two nights you know i just can't comprehend that but if we were that big i i wouldn't want to play a big place i'd rather i'd rather play a smaller place a few nights and maybe not everyone gets to see you you know because i just i don't enjoy that size of a it's different there's no intimacy it's and you know what they're doing like i said immediately it's 80 bucks to park and it's right and it's and it's you know it's just the vibe is a big part of all this you know totally especially in this new album there's a lot of like more low-key songs yeah we're good i think that would play better in a smaller venue yeah well and so we're probably gonna get like yes i i'm i'm sure that we're gonna get slammed at us in a certain way for your mellow now and all that stuff and but you can't yeah fuck them who cares it's what are you supposed to do it's i mean that that that critique is why don't you copy yourself and i'm 53 it's like you're we just actually we just opened a complaint line what i think we're the first band ever what's your name again mr matt we've opened a complaint line i'd like you to call it let's call it oh we should call all right we should call yeah we we've opened a complaint line on and we're we we opened about three four days ago really we've got six thousand complaints are you being serious i'm serious yeah this is a great idea yeah i don't ever want to hear those though do you and then we listened to them and then we reacted to them and some of them are so good but a lot of them are like why can't you just copy your songs for the deaf or you copy right like clockwork or copy these records you know yeah but it's not they don't want any evolution in your in your style well just them most people i don't i think you know i listened i mean you listen to all kinds of stuff yeah of course you know i listen dean martin when i'm making dinner right but i don't want to listen there when i'm making sure i don't want to listen to rain and blood while i'm doing you know but what if the beatles did love me do for 50 years you know what i mean it would suck i mean that's what would be on the complaint line right right exactly some artists evolve too much like kanye but you know yeah although i did think when he did that like when he when he did that he did that one album that was uh like about his mother dying i thought that was like a really cool sound he did you know sure well also you're gonna make more records so if you if it's like what do they say the weather in hawaii if you don't like it just wait five minutes right right it's just like wait till another record if it like Like, I think there was a great quote was like artists need to fail in order to move forward. You have to try things and fail and and, you know, otherwise, what's the point? You know? Yeah. You're expressing yourself. So you're not going to be the same person for 40 years. Yeah. And so, I mean, we always I think we have a little time release. Sometimes it takes a little bit for fans to to look back and say, actually, now I get this or they won't. But I don't know. How does that come together, though, when you do kind of all decide we kind of want to try this vibe a little more or do you just kind of pitch a song like Easy Street? Say this is like a more chill song. I just you go by what you actually like. And I think at this point now, you know, I want something to be feel real and feel honest. And so this is brilliant. I love this idea. Yeah. Yeah. 24-7 complaint line. This is brilliant. Oh, let's play a few. Just some poor Indian guy fielding all these. Yeah. But we've responded. Oh, you're going to call it? Yeah, call. We have the Stone Age complaint hotline. The time is now to set the record straight. Press one to make a complaint. Press zero if you have no complaints. Yeah. Wow. Press one. Press one and we'll call them ugly. Make a remark. Terrible. Leave your complaint by voicemail. Answer the tone. Hit pound when you finish bitching. When you finish bitching. Oh, do you have anything? I liked him before he had cancer. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Wow. Press zero. That's my best radio. You're really nailed. Good. I'll complain to you. You'll be hearing from us. Wow. You can put some time into this. This is great. I mean, that was. What was constructive that you got there? Did you get any that you were like, oh, this is kind of good? No. No. It's just for fun, really. And I think if you want to make art, you can't listen to anybody. If you have an idea and you tell 50 people, 49 people need to say, please don't do that. Yep. Yep. Or otherwise, how could it be good if anyone could just have it, you know? Totally. And I think you. I mean, you got to have. That's the weird thing about stand-up is you do kind of in some way crowdsource it because you build an act by touring the country and be like, this works. This works. But you're right. I mean, it's got to be approved by you. I guess it's got to go through you. I think the feedback is laughs or not. Totally. And so it's not someone filling out a comment card saying, nice shirt, asshole, or something. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think there's a luxury in it's not like, why can't you keep telling those 9-11 jokes? Yeah. You know, don't grow. Right. We got some that were, there was a whole grip of them that were very tongue-in-cheek that said, stop evolving. Stop growing. Stop trying. Stop trying to change and stop trying to move forward. You know? That's great. Which obviously is, you know, and largely they've been positive. Masked is something, you know, you get, we got one that was amazing. That was, every time I listen to you, I blow a load in my pants, but I love to listen to you and I need pants. And then the guy called back and was like, he kept calling back. So there'd be another one and it said, send more pants. And so, you know, we're going to get him an old Navy gift card. But I think it was, maybe I'll give this a Google. I think it was Noel Gallagher. Is that his name? Yeah. The Oasis guy. He said, the audience doesn't know what they want. You got to tell them what they want. Yeah. Because he compared it to fashion. He goes, you don't, you say they, you just give them what they, they don't know what they want yet. You just give them this and they don't want that. 100%. Or they don't respond at all when you're playing in your bedroom again. I do think they call it, they call it a following because you follow us. We don't follow you. That's, that's a circle. That's how toilets are made. So I think you have to, you know. I mean, I guess the harsh way would say I just don't give a fuck. But the gentle way would be, you know, you're just trying to do your thing. And I'm sorry, I can't pay attention. I can't canvas the area. Yeah. You know, I think that's OK. I also would say that committee is usually bad. Anything by committee, especially with art. Like, look at Larry David. He writes the show. Kirby Enthusiasm is great. If he had eight guys in a boardroom going, ah, she's a little mean. She's yelling a lot. He's fat. The black guy's a little stereotypical. You know, it would ruin it. Well, you open yourself up to your sponsors having an opinion. People that have some kind of investment in you. No, thank you. We make records and no one gets to hear them until they're completely finished. Not our managers, not the label, nobody. Nice. Because I don't think you should. When you're playing something half finished, what are the chances? You have to say, it's going to be kind of like this, but bigger and blue. Yeah. And you shouldn't have to use your imagination to make it good. Sure. You know, you want to play the finished thing. Yeah. But I also think, you know, it's fine that some things aren't for everybody. Yeah, of course. You know, I don't like raw onions. I've tried and tried, but I just don't. But they're still going to grow. Yeah. And it's going to happen. Right. You should try the raw onion complaint line. It's pretty good. Yeah. You've got a big one. But no, there's also that fear when you keep. Growing as, you know, an entertainer that, you know, especially musically, this is something we don't, this is not our area, but you can do a sound that just is hip right now. And like, oh, that's a sound people like, like I hear auto-tune sometimes. And I'm like, that guy's voice was unique. Why is he doing auto-tune? You know, the voice is. To fit in, especially, you know. Yeah. Or people that do what I call buffet, where it's like, there's a rap verse and there's a singing verse. And then, you know, they use like a, you know, like one of these will stick. Like it's all in one song where you feel like you're at hometown buffet, where you're just like peanut butter, jelly, horseradish. Right. You know, and I just, I think that kind of pandering is, that's what I'm not. You hear that Lincoln Park? Fine band, good band. Just joking, Lincoln. But yeah, I know what you mean. They got a rapper in there. There's a rock in there. There's a reggae guy in there. I mean, kind of desperate always looks that way. And I just think, you know, you got to kind of. Yeah. That'd be like. That'd be like. March to the beat of your own drummer here. It'd be like a comedian going like, I like sour cream, but actually. If you do. It's pretty bad. Yeah. What do you guys think? Yeah. You got to have a point of view and stick to it. Yeah. I think. Yeah. What about that thing that happened to Mencia? I just saw that thing. You guys were talking about that. The tax thing? Yeah. Tax fraud. Yeah. Crazy. Talk about getting taxed for fucking up, you know. And for stealing. Yeah. Crazy. That's his thing. For stealing. Yeah. That's totally true. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's crazy. Crazy. Comes back around again. I know. You know a lot of comics. You did a Portlandia, right? Yeah. I've known Fred and Carrie for years. I was a disappointing gay with Sworston. Love Sworston. Yeah. I mean, I've said this before, but everything changed for me when I was nine. And my folks and I and my grandparents, we never swore in front. I mean, at nine, why would I? Sure. But we never swore in front of my folks or my grandparents. And we went to the Desert Inn. And, you know, my dad was like, George Carlin's funny, isn't he? He's funny. And, you know, sort of asking me. And I was, you know, I'm nine, so I maybe should ask someone else. Yeah. When you had to get it, you know, I got a rental jacket. You had to wear a jacket. It was like a big yellow sort of sportscaster looking coat. And I felt amazing and, you know, sat there and watched. I think it was Judy Tanuta. Wow. I opened up for her. Or no, sorry, Fred Travolina. Okay. Opened up and saw Carlin at nine. At nine. Whoa. And it blew my mind. You know, his fascination with language, that became my fascination with language. You know, the English language is great because it just takes words from what other language. And there's all the entendre and double meaning and all this stuff. And it really changed my life. And it really, really shocked my grandparents. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, ending with the seven words. Wow. And then I also saw Rodney about a year later. About a year later, going back to Vegas with my folks. Come on. And he got booed off stage. What? And it was Judy Tanuta that opened for him. Wow. At what point did you boo him? He was using the same stale material. He really hadn't pushed. He was copying himself. He was not growing. It was not his fault. He didn't get any respect. He should have had a hotline. He could have gotten some feedback. I'll tell you. Leave a message. And it better be nice, you cucksucks. I mean, it would have been amazing to leave him a message. Oh, my God. But I didn't know you could get booed and that that was a real thing. I was just too young. That's crazy. I didn't know that if it doesn't work. How long was he bombing for before he got booed? I mean, he was. After the first five minutes, it was all men's downhill from there, you know. Oh, he's probably fucked up, too, because in those later years, he really got after it. Yeah. I mean, I'm 53, so I was about 10 or 11. Wow. And he had a resurgence post that. I think, like, old school and all that. Back to school? Back to school. Great movie. Was after that. Got it. I think so. And so he got it going back on, you know, bossa nova after that. Yeah. But I just didn't know that if it didn't go well, that they could sort of collectively say, you're out of here. here yeah that's crazy and um well it's funny you bring up carlin because he's the most reinventing guy in comedy he was the hippie dippy weatherman he wore a suit for a while then he became the angry guy the social commentary guy crisis kind of completely yeah but but a great mutual attacker you know completely yeah he was great i i mean i think both you guys are great at this mutual attack that you know if you're not into group think yeah that means either side will make glaring mistakes of course everybody should come get some yeah you know yeah and if you and and it's it's so much i think too philosophically the fact that the darkest and most difficult things should be made fun of as a way to get people to sit down and talk with you about right right you know i i always say it's weird when people get offended by certain jokes because i'm like oh i'm using that to cope yeah they're like how could you joke about that it's horrible i'm like that's why i'm joking about it so i can feel better well what's left is to feel terrible yeah exactly there's nothing left if you can't giggle on the robo to hell right yeah stanhope had a great line about this where someone's like how dare you make fun of that and he goes how dare i make fun like i'm making it fun yeah i make fun whether it's not what are you talking about but yeah chad daniels has one of my favorite joke or lines he does a joke like him too he's great he's great he does a great dark joke and half the crowd goes oh and half the crowd dies laughing and he goes man it's gotta suck to be you guys because your life is different is inherently worse they hear that and get joy you hear that and are horrified so you have a shit of your life well i also think there's something too like i always have said if 20 percent of your audience doesn't hate you you suck right because it means you're not growing right you're not pushing and um and you also probably get in a new audience when you put out a new thing too because you're tapping into a different part of you you know but just like friends you know you you know someone for a while and then you're kind of paralleling your lives and then as the years go on they peel off to go heading a different direction than you are and it's okay you don't say if we've grown apart fuck you yeah they might be back life is life is long yeah and so and so you agree that that these people that are traveling with you at the time will go in and out and come back perhaps you know yeah and i also think nothing mobilizes the 80 percent of people that really love what you're doing like the 20 percent that hate you yeah it gives them a chance to be a part of your life yeah and i also think nothing mobilizes the 80 percent that hate you yeah it gives them a chance to be a part of your life something to rally around and warm their hands around you know it's like um same with movies if the director keeps making the same thing i'm bored but like even their directors who like i don't love all their work but i respect all their work and that's almost like cooler because i'm like oh i that didn't resonate with me but it was a fucking awesome swing speaking of that do you see the odyssey yeah we liked it a lot yeah i i felt strange about i i i liked it i'm not sure if i loved it i want movies to be like that in scale and feel something after you can talk about it debate about it yeah and even when they were talking about the the you know what is it the people of the sea that's a because that's a real thing there was there was a real thing where the crux of knowledge and all that was you know people were being attacked by the people from the sea so there was an egyptian pharaoh that that took those people from the sea and then put him put them in his army is that like the is that like strangers yeah they were they were they were now they call it immigrants yeah i got you there were a crew of pirates yeah oh we're destroying all these ports that had vast knowledge and really sacking that's why everyone was so terrified when they show up right like you're not people from the city are you they're from morocco i heard they eat cats they're eating the cats that was good that's a good oh yeah thank you yeah yeah that was a fun movie yeah i i there were stuff i really loved about it i think it's a good movie i think it's a good movie i think it's about it there was just some i didn't love leguizamo really i was taken out a little by him too yeah this is superman or i saw super mario yeah it took me out for a second he was luigi oh sorry hoskins was super mario you're right you're right bob fucking hoskins he was super mario you know i missed that film guys i'm sorry i didn't go to your movie night he took it because his daughter or his granddaughter someone in his family was like you got it i love this video game and he was like yeah whatever it's amazing the things you'll do to score a points for your kids oh god totally i uh look at him holy shit there's hoskins look how young leguizamo was i don't know if he's really reading luigi more hispanic than italian yeah yeah you're like luigi and hoskins is british yeah yeah that dude uh what's the hoskins one with the animation that's unbelievable roger oh my god that's an unbelievable movie that was a that was a good movie is great yeah always great did he do kentucky fried movie too do you know this movie i love that movie i've never i've heard of catholic high school girls in trouble yeah you never heard of that movie i've heard of it i've never seen it it's it's kind of a compilation of skits um what was landis but it was it was done landis but i think zemeckis had something to do with it too didn't he no zucker zucker zucker brothers z yeah of of air airplane and top secret fame hell yeah yeah to the to the classics man top secret holds up amazing val kilmer in comedies is like unreal yeah unreal and also i i i love val and especially in those early things where he i don't know i suppose it's a thing that actors do they it's like can you ride a horse and it's like no i can't yes i can ride a horse yeah yeah but you can't right they're saying can you sing and he says yes of course yeah i can sing but he'd never he'd never sang a note in his life whoa but he slays in that movie another thing about the so cute in that he's a handsome devil yeah life insurance is one of easy to put off because nobody wants to think about what happens when they're gone but if people defend on you financially having coverage can help provide for them finance with financial security ethos makes life insurance fast and easy the entire process is online you can get a quote in seconds applying minutes to potentially receive same day coverage there's no medical exam you just answer a few simple health questions online you can get up to three million dollars in coverage 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everything visit txu.com for more information rep number one zero zero zero four and then he was supremely injured spoiler alert yes supremely and he had shit like flopping off of arrows yeah and even a spear strangely attached there right i got a muscle contusion the other day i couldn't walk for like five weeks exactly he got like impaled and he's just like yeah i'll go i'll go in exile now at least he got your help right but then she says don't you're gonna die and he's like no no i'm not gonna die and then it shows him on the fucking boat no i got the gods yeah god's got me zeus yeah uh yeah yeah yeah and also the son went upstairs to fight the other guy i'm like help your dad yeah and he's having trouble with one guy one guy you're supposed to fucking man the throne but exactly he says to him don't help me because you'll be exiled yeah and it's like i don't know if i could watch my old man just getting yeah just getting the shit kicked out of right and be like well i don't want to be exiled when this is over yeah and you're gonna win and you're gonna be king or whatever i don't want him to kick me out of the country club right i don't know how long that guy's staying king too he just didn't it's so weird to see tom holland play he's like he's spider-man and he's this giant pussy and it comes out in the same weekend what a big weekend for him though my god and his girl how about robert pattinson man that guy is a great actor fucking great he's like the guy now i feel like he's that new chris hansen movie looks consistently good yeah which what's that he's playing chris hansen from to catch a predator it looks fucking awesome yeah what there it is prime time the the trailer's got like 10 20 million views or something already yeah well you know actually that what a perfectly timed movie yeah good point and and also poland is killing it did you hear what poland's doing no they're like we don't give a fuck if you're gonna bury the epstein files there might have been polish women we're launching a full investigation they've got all the apps they've got all the files damn and if you fuck polish women then he's really a monster i mean that is no polish women are hot i'm kidding oh okay oh you were joking yeah sorry no polish women are hot they're very attractive i mean epstein's island come on yeah no i think that it's amazing that they're going in there's a i think i think maybe even france is doing something a little bit like this where they don't care what what we're doing really because they need to they they definitely need to get well you say i mean england took charge with prince andrew that's true i know but they they it was about leaking spy stuff and and then then they were like is everyone good is that right did we do good there's more they need to go in completely and get all these motherfuckers yeah all of them well it is weird we have a literally have a list and then bill clinton's like hey i'll do it you know he's just out there hanging out what do you think stephen hawking's did i mean obviously he blew into something but i don't know apparently the island was wheelchair accessible i don't know yeah exactly well that's good that's nice yeah but this guy as long as it's compliant let's just let the rest settle he's got he loves a giant he's got a crippling addiction all right oh i hope they fucking get him all those sons of bitches he can't drive but he loves trafficking all right all right we did all those jokes on on that show i'm almost there i'm stuck in trafficking right now forget to work the balls okay if they're there yeah did the girl sit on the lap did they take a ride you gotta wonder you can't really complain that you got assaulted by epstein by uh by uh hawking yeah that man assaulted me in the yeah him yeah like folded laundry okay rodney danger for like easy on the keyboards wow i'll tell you no with epstein's island i couldn't get a massage i'll tell you no respect you just made me caps lock oh jeez jesus fucking christ look at that oh wow who had to put him on the beach chair that's the thing it's a real boner killer watching that guy waddle around and and he's having a bloody mary there yeah yeah no pun intended my god and how's the dirty talk with the keyboard i'll forget i got needs special needs especially if it auto corrects it put it in the parking lot right something completely wrong that's not what i said didn't trump wasn't trump's whole thing is wait wait go back one go back one what is that did you he can't no that look flippers on him that looks like a punishment yeah it does you know you'll come out when you're when you've thought about what you've done right it looks like we've seen from the deer hunter fucking damn it dude gotta get these motherfuckers flippers in a hot tub this is crazy that looks like that uh that billionaire um submarine remember that thing oh god the titanic thing not is that what it's called it was a titanic thing they were looking is that what it's called the titanic remains yeah yeah that's in can is it titanic that's too on the nose no no that's what they were viewing the titanic oh well they never fully saw it but they until they got next to it on the floor got it got it okay they gave him like an xbox controller to man the thing maybe your first time this isn't a good idea that was crazy too when they died everybody's like oh they were billionaires fuck them like had they used a nintendo controller this might have turned out different yeah know your gaming yeah wow i think there's a movie coming out about that yeah robert pattinson stars he's the submersible and you gotta see him it's incredible you gotta see it in 4d you feel like you're getting waterboarded it's great awesome have you ever seen a movie in 4d i haven't done it yet i saw wonka with my my littlest uh boy and um i didn't realize to the extent that they jiggle you you're being you're being jiggled you know and wiggled and then when they were talking about like fragrances on screen something went and i was like ow ow whoa and they sprayed a fragrance in my goddamn eyes holy shit that guy didn't see brokeback holy shit your eyes will be ruined the seats were ribbed for my pleasure yeah but it's it's it's uh it's a lot like in kentucky fried movie when they do the movie and feel around oh feel around it's a lot like that you know right right i i recommend you definitely go see um one of your favorite porns in that 40 yeah 4d's in you yeah i am oh damn dude wow they jiggle you yeah they they wiggle you they jiggle you they it's like hawking on the island yeah and then they they spray mist they sprayed wind you know crazy yeah that's cool people were seeing odyssey in 4d well they got i wonder what that is just taking a spear to the side like jesus yeah right right they gotta do something to get these people back in the theater you know yeah but i i personally i love going to i love it me too especially when they in in new york city they got like the metrograph film form ifc they play old movies you can see a classic but there's the same thing that so i'm from uh palm desert joshua tree area right so who's from there well most people like thousands of people die there i've been born every year but only three people are born every year seriously i'm one of them wow so well i mean i think more people are born there now but when i was when i was a kid but in the summertime it's so hot yeah that you go to the movies and the same here it's so stifling right right you go to the theater sure you know you don't you don't go home and stream something i know you know it's also fun it's like that communal experience of i saw the movie the fight in the theaters and hearing other people laughing around you it's like oh i haven't seen a comedy in theaters forever it's great yeah i've said it before i saw uh american pie in a black theater in new orleans and the fucking commentary was better than the movie it was so good mystery science theater yeah new orleans stop yes they i'm square back in the day it was fucking insane yeah totally i i saw um with uh one of my best buddy rio blessed soul wherever he is we went and went to the movie theater we went to um blazing saddles oh at a 7 000 seat that's normally a venue it's a venue i played at 7 000 seats jesus sold out wow you know and i was sitting next to a family of asians you know of the whole row in front of me was you know a black a full black row yeah you know mexicans to my left you know uh and and it and um and it's on mexicans to the left here i am asian family to the right stuck in the middle with you stuck in the middle of a juice and and afterwards mel brooks gave a talk and you know at first i thought okay this is going to be interesting you know uh who knows what the reaction is going to be but it was so brought everyone together yeah it was so good everyone was dying laughing so hard and then the interviewers asked one question and then mel brooks just talked for 90 minutes wow it was almost like i gotta pee and i'm in the center of this row i can't you know i don't want to miss a note but also i'm about to test these depends here but it was he was incredible and and what was mesmerizing is is how united everyone really was yes over you know you know that's what bugs me now is like i'm not one of these guys like you can't say anything more but i do find that audiences are looking they're like for a problem you know and that movie was just nothing but problematic that movie was just a giant tension release like completely everyone just like oh this is so fun and originally supposed to be richard pryor played the role a little play but i guess the studio won't go for it you couldn't insure him at the time i think he did some writing on it but yeah yeah you know he did a bunch of right there's a great doc about about it the mel brooks doc yeah oh it's so good yeah but but there's also a bunch of behind the scenes stuff i've about blazing saddles and watch the bloopers too the bloopers are incredible is that one of your favorite movies oh yeah it's it's i i think it's such a triumph that that you know they say it couldn't be made but i think it's it's so silly and eloquent at the same time agreed it's smart you know and i think also i think that casting madeline khan and and she's awesome anything madeline khan is in always amazing you know have you seen her in clue yeah she's the movie clue and she's so good in clue yeah she's always great young frankenstein yeah of course i mean young frankenstein is terry gar oh hot job love her that was that was in dude her and after hours one of my favorites they say she was a bit of a party girl which i'm taking as likes to go out at night i'm not taking any further but i i think to myself i would love to party with terry yes oh god cool funny boy cool funny woman is like that's that's up there oh no well what was your first crush as a like your funny girl crush i love diane keaton because i you know i went new york kid i went through that woody allen phase and seeing her in all those movies the hats always got me there's always a barrier there oh in a bad way the hat and not it was it was a barrier i couldn't oh wow okay i couldn't the hat and the tie and the men's coat and the uh face i guess i'm the full chap yeah i guess i like dude i don't know i was born to woody i know i just i just thought she was cool and quirky and like there was no one like her so i yeah she was one for sure i'm thinking like funny for me it was marissa tomei and my cousin that's big oh yeah that was honestly goldie hawn as a kid oh i was gonna say goldie hawn is mine like private the giggle the giggling and just laughing and yes you know so cute i grew up watching all these dean martin rose where making mistakes was part of the fun is watching the mistakes right is it and what they do with the mistakes and those two dean martin and goldie hawn together that those mistakes and her giggling her way through this i just can't get enough of that it's just very childlike honestly julie louis dreyfus too oh yeah seinfeld was so big yeah and even veep she's fantastic and just smart and funny and beautiful at the same time yeah she's the whole package yeah just out of curiosity just for my sick piece of shit mind here what year did goldie hawn get breast implants felt pretty late 2021 is that one of your tattoos it was just one okay it was only one get out of here that's not real she's got cans now no no that's just you know i'm telling you moving on okay okay wow despite rumors how dare you falsely accuse her of getting fake i mean we're gonna get a cease and desist letter you piece of shit i'm telling you her boobs got bigger with age double d's and desist letter look she has boobs there you know what yeah but yeah and then you go back to 2019 there's no boob just saying yeah things move on all right listen norman you're gonna have to get over it i'm telling you i hope it happens with my dick i think it's getting smaller did you see norman's got two tits on his dick well he got older your balls are huge i'm sorry goldie i didn't mean to besmirch the lady i just figured oh look at how i just and so smart man smart funny yeah very fun what's the i can't believe i'll play oh foul play with chevy chase foul play or am i thinking a fun fact funny farm no no not that one okay no that that's not good that's not a good one okay okay sorry yeah who was yours you didn't say i said marissa tomei oh tomei yeah that's a good one yeah my cousin vinnie's amazing i even liked uh what's the lady uh oh what's her fucking the lady from airplane i didn't mind oh julie julia hagerty yeah she had something i i feel like maybe she no i don't want to take it she's in freddie got fingered no she is she's the mom daddy would you like some sausages what's funny is that movie is not a great movie no but that scene of the sausages has always stuck with me and so i've got three kids so very early on i said guys you need to sit down come here and my daughter i was like you guys need to sit down this is important and then they're what what is that was just just sit and then i would play that and so over the years i've been like i've said to them hey we sit down guys we have something serious and then play that until finally it was like sit down guys and like daddy would you like some sausages but that's you know that's good parenting for you there it is there it is suspended sausage who knew i mean come on my friend got uh when i before i saw um ghostbusters he was like sigourney weaver very pretty and i watched the movie and i was like ah but then at the end when she's a demon so much hotter that really speaks to where you're coming from i guess so but she seemed down as a demon yeah down as a demon yeah the dtf but yeah the early no it's like that's just a lady but look at that shoulder cooking come on yeah now when did she get breast implants sorry dana just joking around here you oh come on galaxy galaxy quest she was hot oh galaxy quest that's a good flick too yeah yeah i mean she's always been when she as ripley and the more badass she got the more it's just it's undeniable oh yeah plus i have a thing for i like fangs when people have fangs or horse teeth or special teeth interesting you know okay i don't know what that means i don't i don't really know what it means but i i've always just felt like a set of you know good fangs or or just individual teeth yeah you know so where you had on like julia roberts no i love a i love a horse teeth yeah i do too actually it's attractive i like sarah jessica parker yeah i mean that's i'm on tour with the foo fighters dave i just love it yeah yeah i'll look at her there just so badass with the alien next to her and yeah oh hell yeah i mean i i just think yeah she's a powerful gal wow that's like p diddy talking to you well certainly that alien is oiled up i wonder what the oil budget on aliens was it must have been insane i'll call the ayatollah whoa mama you know um i don't know what happened but this this is completely empty yeah sorry sorry to put you to work these are nice thank you dude it goes down too sorry you have to actually work we were talking before you came here that we'd just both seen your bourdain episode oh yeah in the desert that was such a cool episode yeah tony was awesome he was awesome he was uh a great drinker buddy and a great yeah just a good guy i i really uh i think about him a lot and whenever there's a any sort of you know his birthday was recently and you know uh it's funny too because some of these you do interviews for a record and it's like someone said recently in england it was like you know there's talk of uh there's a new tony bourdain biopic who do you think should play him it was like no one should fucking play him he should be here yeah i mean i just i don't know some of these questions that happen you're just like i'm really glad you asked you know it just it's awkward because you're like is it gonna live up to him now it's a movie so now oh do you see it or is it weird to see it it's just hard when when you really care about somebody and you were yeah it's just like you could tell that you guys had a closeness in the episode well i said to him he had done uh an episode about the desert and i and i said because i mean you know we we met i mean it's got to be over it's like 20 years ago now it's a long time ago you know and uh and um i said oh i i just said offhandedly because we'd been in a christmas episode before that yeah i saw that you guys were playing yeah and and and um but i said there's all these really special places in the high desert i got to show you you know like you know and you haven't lived till you've been in the the walmart at 2 30 in the morning and joshua if you really want to see what life is like in america that's that that's the epicenter of it it's like you know the antihistamine aisle that's the spot and um and i just said you know but when you come when you when you're next in to a like a guy's trip and i'll show you all this stuff and he was and he of course was like let's film it and then i said well then i'm going to pick places that might be closing because oh yeah in the desert that summertime everything gets shut down or it's so difficult when it's 118 to keep your restaurant open and keep that stuff right and so i think he always was a real champion of that mom and pop street food definitely quirky places that don't appeal to everyone and so they're always on the cutting edge of being gone yeah you know and um so we went to places that were largely in danger of being gone and he's basically saved them all right because because his stamp meant everything yeah it meant everything in it and there was all this data about you know um if he went to your place what happened to your business and then what the dissipation level and and the dissipate you know the first 10 months was through the roof right and then the dissipation - Right. - But the dissipation level was two or three years. - That's damn good. Goldie Hawn's cans. And right after, they exploded. It's huge. And that's why I came here. Look at that. The fun Christmas sweaters. That was a fun episode. Yeah, that was cool. Actually, he's annoyed that you guys are making noise. He just brings you eggnog. That was fun. And on that episode, we were waiting for the Christmas food to get cooked. And meanwhile, we're outside getting absolutely cooked. So by the time we're there, that shot on the top right. Oh, actually, so that's me and him there. I've got a guitar. And he's like, well, we need to shoot a promo for this thing. And oh, man. And so I said, let's do the animal house thing. I gave my love a chicken. And then you'll break the guitar and do like, sorry. Right, right. And my daughter, Camille. She had been around Tony reams of times by then. And so we score this guitar, score the back of it so it's easy to break. And he destroys this guitar. And before the episode came out, I take it home. And I said, oh, look at this funny bit. And my daughter, Camille, who was about five or six at the time, she watched it. And she turned and was like, how could he do that? You guys are friends. How could he do that to you? And it wasn't tears of sadness. Sadness was tears of anger. And she was defending me. And she was like, where is he? Where is he? Like, he's always over there. Yeah, yeah. And I saw, I texted, I took a video text and said, Tony, you've got a six-year-old Camille who's fucking pissed. And there's no way out for you, man. You got to. And then she grabs the phone and says, hey, don't ever do that to my dad. And I said, let me talk. It's going to be fine. And so I sent it to Tony. And he sent back this video that was, you know, one part, you know, a bit silly in order to try to do it. But also appealing to a six-year-old girl who's defending her dad. And that was like, you know, basically taking a knee like, I'll never do that again. And I'll always check with you first. And I've got your dad. Your dad's back. And, you know, and it was just. Do we have footage of the guitar breaking? I don't know if you can find that. But did it go through? They went with that promo? Oh, yeah, they did. Oh, hell yeah. Sorry, Camille. Well, I think what was great about his show is that he had ultimate control and he had a great crew around him that had his, they were, he was, he had the control and they had his back 100%. Yeah. And so, yeah, it was on CNN. But they really had nothing to do. They had nothing to do with what he was going to do. Right. He was going to do what he was going to do. Yeah. And I think everyone, you know, you watch that and you can feel the authenticity of that. That he wasn't being sort of, there was no man with a hand up his ass doing the puppet show. Yeah, yeah. And when he would do the voiceover, it was just well-written. Like those. Yeah, it really was. It was so, it was profound sometimes. I loved it. You knew there wasn't someone editing what he had to say, you know. Here we go. Oh. That's fun. We're at a place called the Integratron. Sorry. And which is a really cool, mysterious place, you know, built by this guy, Edward Van Tassel, who used to work for Howard Hughes. And very strange and peculiar place. Work looking into on. And it was sort of struggling a little bit. And now, even now, you know, you need to book that place four months out. That's it. There it is. Integratron. It's supposed to be a rejuvenating place. It's a rejuvenation machine. It's the, it was communicated to the guy, Edward Van Tassel, in his dreams by extraterrestrials. And he woke up and drew the, the, the blueprints for this machine that you would walk in one end and walk to the other. There's not a single nail in it. It's all, it's all wooden dowels. Wow. And when the machine worked with, when it was completed, it was supposed to spin. And, you know, it had all this copper. And wires that were supposed to help transmit and rejuvenate. Damn. Not, not, not make you younger, but sort of make you as strong as you should be for where you're at. And obviously he never finished it. But the, when he did die, the, a true fact is that five black SUVs and men in suits came and stole all his paperwork. Whoa. And took all his file cabinets. It's definitely something I'm sure Joe Rogan would, would drive. Sure. I'll bring it up. He would, he would bang that to death. Yeah. I saw blazing saddles in there. Didn't you say on Rogan that you got stung by a scorpion? I did. Yeah. What the fuck? I did. Well, I, uh, I know better too. I, you know, I, one of the things you learn, people say when it's 118, you know, how do you deal? And, uh, and you get a different type of pain. You get stung by a scorpion. Well, you don't, you don't. And you, and you realize you, you sort of, what do the animals do? How do they deal with this situation? Yeah. And what the animals do. What the animals do is they don't come out till the nighttime. You know, they, there is no animals to be seen in the daytime and summer. Right. In Joshua Tree. And, um, I was driving up to this, this studio called Rancho De La Luna, which is in Joshua Tree and it's in just a house. And, you know, I had a case of beer. We went and got a case of beer and I, I, I know better. I had my shoes off. So I'm in the shock, riding shotgun and I, I get out of the car. And in the, uh, I step onto the dirt in my bare feet, which you really shouldn't do, you know, when it's hot like that. And I reach in to get this case of beer and I feel the craziest sting on my foot. And in the light of the, of the, you know, the car light, which being thrown onto the dirt, I pick up my foot and I look down and I see this scorpion just hanging off my foot and I slap this thing. And much like, uh, home alone when they put this, this spider. I screamed like it was a noise. I don't recognize in my own, you know, sure voice. It was so high pitched and terrified. And, uh, so I do this scream and I jump in, you know, in the car. And when I slapped it, that scorpion hit the ground, sort of shook off and turn and came right at me. I mean, they're so aggressive because shouldn't it have been, shouldn't this scorpion have seen me and said, Oh my God, a fucking giant. I know. I'm not, I'm. I'm like, yeah, but no way, no, how this thing came at me. Whoa. So I screamed again with the same high pitched, you got to drop impressive. Yeah. I should, I should have, but I was too busy shitting in my own pants. And uh, so I, I, uh, I went inside and from what I understood at the time, there were only two scorpions in the Mojave desert. One is, you know, like a bee sting and the other one is 12 hours of central system shut down. Here we go. And so I, for the life of me, I was like, one is iridescent. One is black. Which one? What did I, what did I see? It's like, when you get in a fight, you don't really remember all the details, but I remember he had a red button on his shirt. Right. So, so, but in Palm Springs, there's nothing black, no, just on timeshare loan out. Uh, so I went inside, which one is a bad one. Please don't say the black one. I think it is. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I didn't create it. Well, anyways. So I, uh, um, I went inside and, and my friend, Fred Drake said, I believe there's a wives tale that if you submerge your foot in boiling water, it'll draw the poison out. And he said, in the meantime, drink, this is Jack Daniels. I don't drink whiskey. That's I just, I just don't. And uh, not anymore, not any less. No. So I, so I start huffing down this whiskey, you know, which cause being in pain and drunk is the perfect thing to do. Yeah. And then he boils this water. I put my foot in boiling water. I burned my foot. Oh, wow. That doesn't work by the way, trying anything. And then this is pre internet. And then we come to find out another friend came in and he said, oh no, no, no. There's only one type of scorpion in, in Mojave. And it's like a bee sting. It's that other scorpion is, is in, um, the, uh, Sonoran south central. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, and, um, all for, all for not, you know, yeah. But Hey, cool story. You can say you got bit by a scorpion. Yeah. So, you know, when you, you know, w when you're trying to think of something to get tattooed, that's why, you know, try to, you know, otherwise you just have like a clown with a balloon dick. I wonder why you did it. Well, I got a homeless guy right here cause he bit me on the train. That's a heavy load to bear. Yeah. Yeah. We're talking. Do you get annoyed by the term desert rock or stoner rock to either of those annoy you? No, I'm really pushed hard for that to become that because I, I, I'm, uh, um, it just sounded more mysterious to me and I'm, I'm never fancied that we were heavy metal or punk rock or, you know, I, I think if you don't want to be in a genre, it's better to try to make up your own and see if that will take basically, cause that's something you said in the Bourdain thing that you would get shit. if you sounded like someone else when you were starting out. - For sure, yeah. - But with comics, we always talk about, We're impersonating another comic when we start. Well, but that's where you start when you're young. I mean, my early stuff sounded like someone else. Who would you sound like? I really loved the Misfits. I loved the Cramps and things like that. It didn't sound so much like the Cramps, but I listened to a lot of GBH and Discharge, this English punk rock stuff. And the Subhumans, which, you know, but you could track these bands getting better as musicians as the years went on. And so I just thought, oh, well, you know, and in the desert, if you sounded like someone else, you got made fun of. And so quickly, if you wore your influences on your sleeve, you felt terrible about yourself. And because you're not playing, you're not getting paid. And, you know, people don't appreciate shit they get for free because they didn't do anything. That's true. You know, they just sort of abuse it. And so worse than being booed, if someone didn't like you, it was just silence. Or they're just talking. They're a friend. You go, boom. What do you think? And it's like just conversation. Totally. And so. Indifference. Yeah. That's what really hurts. That hurts. You know, indifference. A booed, you're at least affecting them somehow. Yeah. It feels like art. Yeah. Right. Art elicits a reaction. Yeah. So if art doesn't, if there's no reaction, it's nothing. The landscape painting on the wall in the Marriott, you don't care about. So it's just not art. It's not art. You know? But you see a painting and you're like. Fuck this guy, Francis Bacon. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And so I think early on, it was like, I will make an impact of one way or another. And so, you know, you try to sound different. Yeah. Every. I'm sorry. Every comedy club I go to, the owner goes, when do you want me to step in? I know a lot of comics do crowd work. Some people get heckled. Some people like getting heckled. I said, step in when they're chit chatting. Yeah. I'll take a heckle. I'll take a you suck or fuck you. If you dare to heckle, you know, I mean. I can use that. But chit chat, I'm just like, it's like a gnat and it's fucking my rhythm off. Yeah. So, yeah. What's your take? There's so much crowd work going on now. What's your take on, on, I mean, if you have a good sense of humor, crowd work can just be kind of simple, but also there's something kind of exciting about it. It's not like, like it's a sauce. It's fine. But it's like, I don't want to do any till like an hour into my, I want to do an hour of jokes. Yeah. I do a live show. But then I'll do it at the end. If they want to like riff and stuff. Yeah. Because sometimes you find stuff and sometimes there's a moment that makes that show unique. So I think it can be cool. Yeah. But I think if it's like a sauce, if it's all there is. Yeah. It's not real. It's nothing. Because there's a lot more of it now or on display. It's a way to get, it's a way to get engagement without burning your jokes, which I get that. But to me, it's like Mark and I got obsessed with this because of jokes. So. Yeah. Yeah. I get no excitement from it unless, but you know, you can really rip a room open with it because they know it's spontaneous. Yeah. That's nice. But yeah. It sort of rings like proof that, yeah, I am actually funny, whether it's the bathroom, the kitchen, the crowd work. But comics should be good. Like it's, it's so much harder to write a great bit. So I get excited by a bit. I don't really. Yeah. It doesn't really excite me. That's an exhibition of word economy and writing and really like working over a thought. Yes. You know. Exactly. And no one ever quote, no one goes, Hey, you see that Chris Rock crowd, crowd work clip. Yeah. No, you know, his bits, you know, his point of view. And you know, Chris would be funny off the cuff too, obviously, but like, it's like, yeah, Chris's specials are. But you also get a bump with crowd work. Like if a crowd work is a seven out of 10, actually funny, it's going to hit a 10 because it's in the moment. Yeah. But I think they're impressed that you don't get rattled, but it's also like, it would take so much. Someone's got to like shoot themselves in the head in the crowd to rattle us. Like we're so numb to. Well, I feel the same way because I don't mind dealing with hecklers at all. I, I, I enjoy, I, I enjoy that. And, and, and also people hold up signs. And things like that, that, you know, of songs. So they can dictate what we're doing. You know, if we, if I see a sign and we're playing and it's just like, all right, well, let's just change the set and we're going to just play this now because it's like giving it over to them. It's definitely a different connotation. Sure. But I, I, I, you know, I, I am interested because there's so much more crowd work that's being put forward. Yeah. Like, Hey, look at what I've done here. You know, it's weird. That's all you got. That's all you got. Yeah. If you're relying on it to kill, that's a problem. Yeah. If you can use it, great. I think comics judge it for sure. It should be on their tool belt. Yeah. It seems like comics judge it. I don't love, I don't like, if I'm following someone and all they do is crowd work, I'm annoyed. But if, if they get heckled, of course they have to deal with it. But if, if they only, if they're fishing for it, I get a little annoyed. I want to follow, I think, cause then you have to kind of get them in your first seven minutes, you have to find a way to get them back into your rhythm. Yeah. If you're doing a short set. I just don't care what you do. What do you do, sir? Who gives a fuck? He's a dentist. You're not doing it now. That's for sure. You're going to do that shit later. Right. Right. Well, but I, I, I have this, uh, charity and we do this event and in order, I think, you know, there's this age old adage that music and comedy doesn't work together. I don't believe, I don't agree with that at all. You know, I, I think that, but my way to get, and, and when I do this event, it's the hallmark of it is that I'm only asking the musicians do two songs. That way the investment isn't too much, right? You know, a lot of these events are five hours long and they want you to do a whole thing and it's a pain in the ass. It's like, no, no, no, no. Just do two songs. And the comedians, if you don't want to give bits away or you don't want to do the same old shit, just do crowd work or make fun of me. Just that way. It's just a way to, everyone's only doing a little and you really spend most of the night just enjoying each other's work. Right. You know, for those kinds of events. Cause I like, I do all kinds of charity stuff, but it's, it can be a, it can be a, it can be a pain in the ass. Of course. If someone wants you to put something huge together. Yeah. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. Or you're giving bits away. Yeah. I don't care about giving bits away, you know, or you're doing something old that you've done, you know, potentially. Totally. You know, that's the worst, but it's like in that situation, it seems like crowd work is acceptable. Yes. It can bridge that four minute gap really easily. Great point. You know? Yeah. Now, what about these musicians, these lead singer guys who do jokes in between songs? Oh, for fuck's sake. You know, I, I don't know. I, I. I always get jealous cause I can't play, you know, Stairway to Heaven between a bit. But some guys do it well. Like I used to like on the live albums when Leonard Cohen would have like a quick aside. I thought he would do it kind of smoothly, you know? Well, I think he's a special case where, where you're like, you know, read the ingredients to toothpaste. I think I'm good. Yeah. I would listen to anything he would do. Totally. Yeah, that voice. I, and, and it just seemed some people have a wisdom, you know, we, we did the bridge school benefit. That, that, that, um, um, oh my fucking God. Uh, we've been drinking. Yeah. But what's it's, it's, uh, uh, Neil Young. Oh shit. It's like, who's that? But he had this, this thing you do and you have to play acoustically. You can't play anything electric. Right. And we played, um, it's two nights and you know, someone played before us. I can't remember. But then the next night Tom waits played. And it was like, Oh God, what does he do at a short set? He was going to do whatever the fuck. Well, it's like a 40 minutes. Oh, 40 minutes. Which is even worse because he would, he'd play a song that was fucking amazing. Does he do, does he do like the old stuff or does he do newer stuff when he does? He was doing a little bit of both. That's cool. He'd wander. And plus he'd wander over the piano and go, wow. And he's chewing gum. Like I'm only doing this cause, uh, you know, I owe Neil money and, and, and, but he's doing jokes in between then killing it, then getting up and going over the guitar and going, nah. And then heading, it all looked like he was just improv-ing the whole thing, but there's no fucking way. And plus there was jokes. Yeah. He was killing back in the day. He's hilarious. You know? Did you get to hang with him at all? I didn't. I, I, it's where I met Les. Clay Poole from Primus was playing bass with them and David Hildago from, um, uh, oh my God, brain's going, but was playing guitar and I didn't get to talk to him, but that's where I'm kind of met Les and was hanging out with those guys and, but he destroyed so hard. Wow. Yeah. Tom and, and to play, to play after, to play after Tom Waits though. Yeah. Tough shoes to follow. Oh my God. Yeah. I was, that's like flip flops to follow. It was, we, the first night we did so well. And the second night it was kind of like, you're destined to die. Right. You know, there's no way out. Yeah. I think they have a recording of that. Don't play it. Tom Waits has so many great drinking songs too. Like there's such like, you like hear him when you're drunk and you, it almost makes you feel cool that you're shit faced. Like, like, like when he's going, piano has been drinking. I love that song. But, but, but you say to yourself, yeah, that seems right. I think the piano has been drinking. Right, right. I poured a whole fucking quart of booze in there. It only plays drunk songs. I love, it's such drinking. I mean, it was kind of, it was probably the most we've ever been destroyed by another artist. Wow. You know, comics will, there's certain comics that are a tough follow and it can be because they're so good or so bad. It can be either or the other. Sure. They can bury it. Oh, in what way would a so bad be tough to, cause they've just fragged the audience. They poison the room. Yeah. They, they, yeah. Like a fart. You gotta dig out of it and then like get back to normal. on normal ground and then do well. - Sure, yeah, the natives are restless and upset. yes yes you know exactly there's certain people that yeah they they can rip the room open you're just like what the fuck do i do well i i'd like to this is why you know trying to be in a band's band and really working hard so that when you do play you know i like to be the band that you don't want to follow because it it doesn't matter if the other band has more fans than you it's the other band that knows if if you've played in a way where they're thinking oh no how are we gonna follow this it's not always it's not really about the fans it's about that got it you know it's about being able to sort of mic drop on the other band yeah yeah i gotta tell you there was no way out after this there's no way out i and we walked out and we go one two and there's you know one microphone over the drums we go one two and as and as soon as we start i see the mic is falling over and it just goes and makes a super loud noise on the floor tom so it's like boom and it it was such a terrible way to begin you didn't even get to your four one two boom bam yeah i've had that where you try to kill it you grab the mic and the cord comes out yeah yeah yeah exactly to a chevy chase pratt fall from hell it's completely an emotional rollercoaster damn is he still with us tom waits yeah yeah oh okay okay no he's just been acting like an old man that's true great actors wow that's a funny thing like shortcuts yeah for sure movies he's in is he in coffee and cigarettes yeah he is with iggy with iggy he's in that jim jarmusch movie too uh down by law yeah that's it a lot of stuff well and also in in the movie i based my whole fashion life off of which is rumble fish oh really basically dressed like matt dylan since i was nine old wow yeah matt dylan's a hunk yeah he is a hunk i saw him at a restaurant in the east village still a hunk still a hunk looks great but i saw him at a restaurant he was alone and i was i was writing or something how hunky is that he's by himself what was he doing reading he was actually oh my god my ex-girlfriend was at a restaurant with him one night and she goes come meet me i'm with matt dylan i was like no what because he's trying to fuck you i don't i don't want to cock block matt dylan of course if you want to get fucked by matt dylan go ahead and get fucked by i'm not stepping in i'm gonna cock block jeremy piven but not good luck yeah um i think you're saying no jeremy piven you've been blocked but yeah i was in a restaurant and he walks in and he sits down at a table and he rearranges the salt and pepper and he gets up goes to another table and he left wait what who is this matt dylan right he rearranged your salt not mine he sat down a different table rearrange it was in it was on avenue a i remember and he rearranged this didn't happen did it this didn't no no i swear to god this is like 10 12 years ago he just went in there alone rearranged some shit didn't like it went to another table he must be ocd he must be ocd well give that a go but or he was on something but he didn't like that sugar packet him and you saw what i was wearing that's like peak he's great in that so unreal he gets his teeth done yes yes you know oh yeah you know i love that because i love big teeth oh there you go you guys forgot about the team we're learning about each other he's not of ocd apparently okay well maybe he was uh high on smack something was going on goldie hawn fucking matt dylan what are you doing to us what year did he start doing smack way to take a grand leap about what he was doing call in matt if you don't mind not on drugs all right oh we gotta go okay oh i gotta go oh i'm having so much fun yeah it's been such a good episode thanks for are there tour dates coming yet no i don't worry about it i'm gonna go to my house i'm gonna go to my house i'm gonna go to my house don't worry about that i mean if you want to see us come google it you know okay i came here for the chat well dude such a pleasure for me this was awesome and the new album is truly awesome like i love it it goes low it goes high it's so it's so and i first three songs are all like you know kind of like dark relationship songs i love them they're so moody shit yeah it's definitely moody yeah no we'll plug when he leaves you gotta go so yeah thank you for having me i appreciate it you're the man josh thank you cheers sorry about the scorpion yeah hey hey folks come on out to regina casino regina two shows out of the second calgary baby at the laugh shop or laugh stop uh-oh shop i had it right i shouldn't second guess myself club region at the event center acme comedy club in mini app love that club comedy works downtown baby and then maybe comedy on state in wisconsin madison but we'll see about the movie pardon portland probably with the movie we'll see uh cap city comedy club tropicana showroom at atlantic city wind creek events in bethlehem pa palazzo theater charlotte at the comedy zone and grand cedar showroom at foxwoods in connecticut and comedy mothership so get a bottle of bodega cat got athens greece budapest zagreb vienna warsaw helsinki stockholm copenhagen then we got nashville uh we got san diego i added a bunch of stuff here we got a phoenix just added for november we got uh pittsburgh improv for november we got cleveland ohio in december madison wisconsin december uh baltimore area december 17th through 19th and i just added some stuff for the new year doral florida miami improv the west palm improv jacksonville florida never played the comedy zone there calgary calgary alberta columbus ohio all just on sale now uh did i say columbus hartford and uh one other addison improv there we go dallas so a ton of stuff punch up dot live slash mark norman slash tour punch up dot live slash sam morrell you could get our tour dates there or on our website whatever is easier drink some bodega cat whiskey uh dm us i give you the wrong thing uh-oh uh but we're drinking some bodega cat whiskey yeah baby and uh dm bodega cat oh yeah oh by the way cobs comedy club selling it we sold a ton last weekend i mean the clubs are the way to go i'm in houston this weekend we're gonna sell a ton there we're all sold out amazing so uh yeah dm us if you wanted at your bar club whatever uh bodega cat whiskey on instagram yes you guys are the best see you soon comedy you know the beer juice close i've had a little too much bourbon and norman's talking shit about the fucking poke and i get down in the same way up on the roof like a cop's coming and naked samuel is feeling dangerous i'm out to lunch here in new orleans this woman doesn't look like i remember her hank joined bj's wholesale club the day he became a father of 30 i coach football now coach hank saves up to 25 off grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta three cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks and that's just pre-game he knows teamwork and bj's knows savings this is your home coach home of the save join for just 20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save