Jorma Taccone

Hi, it's Rick Glassman from this podcast. We'll get right to the show, but first I wanted to let you know that I'm on my stand-up comedy tour, Ricky's on the Loose, and I'm in Dallas this weekend. And if you're in Washington, D.C., Montreal, Quebec, Edinburgh, or London in the UK, Portland or Eugene in Oregon, Philadelphia, PA, or Houston, Texas, my tickets are for sale now at rickglassman.com. And if you want to be the first to be notified when I'm coming to your city because I'm adding dates as we speak, go to rickglassman.com slash tour, sign up for my email list, and I'll let you know. Hey girls, get started without me. I'll be right there. Hurry up, Rick. Seriously, what are you doing? Please, I'll be right there. Now enjoy the show. The show. The show. Would you like a Magic Mind? I just took one. Magic Mind. You could drink it with your coffee or instead of it. I drink it instead of it. Free plug. Love the stuff. I do miss drinking coffee though. I don't drink coffee anymore. Every now and then it makes me anxious and it's just not worth it. Anyway, if you tuned in to see Jorma to talk about MacGruber and now you're listening to this goober talk about McCoffee. And McCone. Shut up. I've been a little under the weather. Just letting the home audience know. And I did, I emailed Jorma's, people and I said, you know, I've been under the weather. I'm feeling better, but if we could push it back a little, and this is the only time. And I felt confident that I'm not properly sick. And I feel like I, you know, let all parties know so they can make their own decision. You know, when COVID happened, people started being like, oh, get a COVID check test. And if you don't have COVID, then you're fine. But it's like, what about the other sickness? If you're sick, just, you know, leave people alone. Oh, look at this. Hi, Rick. This is Jenna from Jorma. We're outside of the meeting address. Ooh, so official. I wonder if I'm nervous. Also, I told them that nobody could come in with them. And I feel like I don't want to say it again. I don't like when people, I have this kind of rule. Like if you're going to come in with the guest, then you got to sit on, you got to be on camera or at least on mic. And Mike's not here. Anyway, you came for Jorma. I'll be back. When I say I'll be back, can we put in, um, uh, we, some B-roll of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Seven Tools for Life? I'll be back. Scoop-doo, blubbity-bloo, scoop-dee, oh yeah! Alvin. ♪ Hee hee hee hee hee hee ♪ ♪ Scooty do do do do do do do ♪ Are you hot or teef? Well, yeah, I like the teef. Also. You're going to be originally the teef. All right. Look at this profesh setup. Hi, Jorma Scuni. Over your dead body April 24th. I said it! Nah, no, I don't need to promote anymore. Oh, we're going to get, we're not going to bury the lead. Okay, great. But before we get started. Yes. Um, I have some drink options. Ooh. I have water, both room temp and cold. Wow. I have coffee, just cold. I have tea. I could make tea, but I kind of want to just offer you the cold because it's-- Wait, is it a cold brew coffee or no? Yeah. Okay. I have some weed drinks, which I don't think you want. No, no, no, no. I want to give you all I got. Um, coffee is. I'm going to be really corny. I've just been a fan of yours for a little bit. I think what you do is really bold. Thanks. Cold brew coffee. Is that a nice, seamless tie-in? Well, just, it's, yeah. Bold coffee brew. Go get yourself a can. Also, over your dead body April 24th. All right. I said it. I'm done. John Michael, he said it twice. Edit one of them out. Whatever one you think is better, keep in. Fuck, fuck. Don't, don't, don't listen to him. Don't, do not listen to him. I used to have an insecurity about how loud I blow my nose. Yes. And now I've realized, oh, I could just acknowledge it beforehand. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Have you found that, like, post-pandemic, though, it's like, it's like faux pas to blow your nose because you're like, oh, I might kill you? No. Okay. No. You're cool with it? No, man. It's been in the horror genre for too long. Thanks. Thank you. Yeah. It's all I think about now. Oh, it's, it's Blue Bottle. This is a classy joint. Yeah, the podcast has been doing well. Yeah. I bet. Yeah. This is like probably 10 bucks, right? Yeah. It's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna really alienate my audience if I give you the real answer. Okay. Gotcha. Joe Biden's America, right? All the prices went up. John Michael, I'm gonna do commercials. I don't know who's going to be here during all of them, but at least this is one of them. This is for the Yorma episode. It's seven years this week from the podcast starting and Yorma from Lonely Island, who I've been a fan of for years, is a guest. Yorma's awesome. Have you worked with him? Yorma and Andy and Kiva were PAs on Spin City. That's how old I am. No shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that crazy? They said a lot of their old furniture in their first apartments was from Spin City. Oh, really? For you, from their pod? Yeah. That's funny. Hey, I'm Bill Lawrence, Hollywood mogul. I created Scrubs. I created Spin City. I created Cougar Town. I created Ted Lasso, Shrinking. Rooster. I created Rooster. That's a show I created that Rick's on. Bad Monkey. I created Bad Monkey, which is good. Bad Monkey, which has got no monkeys. Vince Vaughn's on that show. I created M.A.S.H., if you ever saw M.A.S.H. I created 30 Rock. Anything that you like that was funny, I created because I know comedy and I know comedy. Any comedy I've done pales in comparison to my friend Rick Glassman and his newest hour, Ricky's on the Loose. That's nice, man. Catch it if you can. I mean it. Thank you. I mean it. I don't know if you're doing it anywhere, but if you're doing it anywhere- Buddy, I'm in Austin this weekend. Then the next weekend, Cleveland, Ohio. The weekend after that, Irving, Texas. In June, I'll be in Washington, D.C. September, Portland, Oregon, Eugene, Oregon, and Philadelphia, PA. October, I'm in Houston. Go to rickglassman.com, and if you go to the tour site, you could sign up for my email list so I could let you know when I'm coming to your city. I'm booking Salt Lake City. I'm booking somewhere in Washington. I'm gonna be in Scotland, London, Dublin in August, possibly Amsterdam and Paris. I'm gonna be in London, London, Dublin in August, possibly Amsterdam and Paris. I'm gonna be in London, London, Dublin in August, possibly Amsterdam and Paris, depending if the money's right. I'm gonna possibly be in Amsterdam and Paris if the money's right. That's so coincidental. What's the money right for you? How much does it have to be? It's gotta be a lot. Okay. The tickets are very, very expensive. I am working on my special, and I could confidently tell you that I'm very happy with this artwork. One of the things I'm most proud of is when Rick told me he was doing a special, he wanted it to be called, and I've seen it, I've seen the material. It's high quality. It's so funny. He wanted it to be called Ricky Caged Up. And that's the one tweak I made, is I said, you're not caged up. I've seen this. You're on the loose. Ricky's on the loose. Thanks for that, Bill. I help when I can help. I create stuff. Thank you to our sponsor, Underdog, where you could make picks and win money. Zang. You know what you want, you could download the app today and use promo code T1. Promo code TYSO to score $50 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code TYSO. Terms apply. See site for details. This episode is sponsored by PESTI. Later on in the episode, I'll show you what's in the box. But for now, let me just let you know that you can get bugs out of your house with PESTI. Go to PESTI.com/TYSO for an extra 10% off your order. That's P-E-S-T-I-E.com/T-Y-S-O for an extra 10% off. Whether you're looking for clothes for a big night out, a wedding, a trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolve, man, always has it. Go to Revolve.com/TYSO to shop and use code TYSO for 15% off your order. It's free two-day shipping, easy returns. It just makes everything easier. That's Revolve.com/TYSO and use code TYSO for 15% off your entire order. The offer ends soon. Do not sleep on it. I was kidding about that last comment. I mean, he's doing his own camera work, so the podcast is not doing that well. Let's pay on it. All right. When you do a manual focus, have you fucked a manual yet? A manual focus? Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Focus's kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Do you go for the eyes or the nose? I go for eyes. Okay. Would you look in the camera for me? Yeah. Yeah. You're going to like that. I guarantee it. Oh, shit. I wasn't recording. Can I tell you a fun story about- Men's Warehouse? Yeah. Really? Yeah. We told it on our podcast though, so it's a little bit of a retread, but somebody wrote into our podcast, Bay Area native, who was telling us that she lived next door to the Men's Warehouse, George Zimmerman. Is that his name? No, that's- George? George Zimmerman. Oh, George Zimmerman. Yeah, it's not George Zimmerman. Not George Zimmerman. Yeah. What was his name? What's the Men's Warehouse guy's name? George Zimmer? What's his name? Fuck. We don't know. This is so sad. Anyway, she lived next door to- Well, you can't keep telling us. No, no. I'm going to. Are you kidding? I'm doubling down. Lived next door to George. Kids would come by, junior high school kids would come by every day and go, "Say it, George. Say it," and wait until he came out of his house and say, "Oh, what's up?" And he would You're gonna like the way you look, I guess. Guarantee it. I think that story was successful, even though it got interrupted a couple times. We're going to edit it out, dude. Fuck. That reminds me of. Look at this. This guy. What is this guy's name again? Alvin. Alvin. I have a cool story. Not a cool story. Oh, your voice sounds so much better. Oh, thanks, man. He put my mic lower. Unbelievable. Is your mic lower, really? I don't know. I don't know. Are you projecting or are you not projecting? Projecting that you should go see Over Your Dead Body, April 24th. Just use one of them. No, no, no. I'll pay you $20. Leave it all in. So, George Zimmer. Yes, George Zimmer. Hans Zimmer. Okay. Hans Zimmer, George Lucas. I've listened to your podcast before and you do a lot of this. Oh. Connection stuff. And I'm so bad at it. Here's the thing. I actually was jealous because I think you're really good at it. And I'm like. Did you catch that wink? Well, I was just. I was getting to. Musicality. Okay. Because with George. With Hans Zimmer. Yes. Being. And George Lucas into. See, I put too much pressure on it. Now you're failing. What the fuck? Yeah. Home Alone and Star Wars. John Williams. Thank you. So, now we're at John Williams. Yes. And I've seen a video where there's some kids standing outside John Williams' house playing Star Wars on the strings or something. And he comes out and he basically says. You know, like the way you look, I guarantee it. But the way he would say it. Yeah. Could I put on the AC and then we could get started? Absolutely. Absolutely. So, you've seen the pod, really? Yeah. I saw it. Yeah. Oh, actually, no. I heard an episode with David Cross, which I really enjoyed. But I didn't think that that was a video thing. I thought that was. I didn't see the actual video portion of that. It was all audio. Oh. What? I feel like I said the wrong thing. No. No, no, no. He looked so disappointed. Yeah. If I did a video of this podcast, you would get that my faces don't match what I'm saying. I can't wait for this. So far, this is my favorite podcast that I've done. And it's just. And it's not even started yet. This is going to be a raucous episode. Go get yourself a bold cold brew from Blue Bottle. They need the money. We're not sponsored by anybody, by the way, on our Seth Meyers Lonely Island. podcast we're battling two things right now and i'm i'm projecting that's why you could hear me so well but it's that you're on a press run you're doing your thing yes and like you got to do these and you're telling people and blah blah blah yeah and i am um not into that no no i'm just like i was i'm a bit i was a bit under the weather yeah and um i uh i did take a mucinex so let me get out a little exposition and that is i'm not my best self right now but i've been very excited about this but do you find that you sound just a little bit sexier sometimes when i'm sick i don't feel it right now but yeah i had that a couple days ago where i was just like talking a little bit more like yeah like uh i direct and i only do one shot and then we move on are you a tom waits guy were you into tom tom waits funny that you bring that up i actually was introduced to tom waits yeah by a friend of mine who was recently on this podcast yeah who does it has a tom waits cover album oh really i would love is it's not like sarcastic tom waits covers no okay no um because you know a lot of funny people yeah no he's he's a proper musician um gotcha and uh i might send your team a song of his okay are you a tom waits guy are you just saying because i'm a time yeah yeah rain dogs was the first album that i heard in uh at rasputin's records in berkeley i uh obligatory have to mention the bay area within like 30 seconds of me being on this podcast but uh rasputin records i was uh listening i was like what the is this this is amazing and it's like this song called rain dogs which is like it sounds like industrial circus music basically but like it's like we show tonight for singapore we're all as mad as hatters here it's like a bazaar uh but i've been a fan ever since then he has a song on one of his more recent albums called chicago which i highly recommend and then fun fact about tom waits was that and the reason i brought it up was because he wanted to sound like an old dude from when he was like a child so he would sing and he would sing and he would sing and he would sing and he would so he would scream into his pillow until his voice got up and like that's the reason he sounds like that that's like in and maybe bruce lee did this in real life but in dragon the bruce lee story yeah he would hit the coat racks for a while to like harden his really no imagine you know i mean well that thing you know that thing that's in the that has the spikes coming out of it that like people do that's what i'm talking about yeah yeah isn't that like that don't they do that to harden their no i meant it when you said really i said no i was just choking oh gotcha oh i'm i'm getting used to this level of sarcasm now i get it oh you know what sucks what i get it yeah i've heard it my whole life yeah it's all i don't i guess it yes it is sarcasm yeah but it in my mind i'm not trying to trick you yeah like in my mind it's like i said something and then you said really and i think you really isn't really questioning my honesty i think it's just something people say oh no i meant like i was being genuine and then it felt like it was too sincere so we had to like you know take it down a peg pun intended yeah a little bit i uh i get it okay we're on the same page this is good um um you're i feel like if you have one of these then we'll really be on the same page i don't drink coffee anymore what yeah really what happened i get anxious sometimes and i found free plug magic mind i take this magic mind drink like almost every day i think i've heard of that what is it what and what because it wait is it uh slightly shroomy no i think it has a mushroom in it but it's not like um that's psychedelic it's like uh i never say it right ashka wonga is that the name of the thing that is the mushroom if you like have a isn't it or is ashka wonga that's a no mushroom i don't know if that's even a mushroom lion's mane is the mushroom i gotcha yeah but they put that in a lot of viewership just great rumor through me yeah sorry guys whoa you are from lonely islands here yeah no you're thinking of the wrong mushroom i'm talking about lion's mane yeah sorry guys we'll get into the other mushroom mushrooms later let me uh let's not bury the lead because i edited out a few times um over your dead body not over your dead body your dead body over your dead body watch it last night i just had samara on uh a few weeks ago she's the jam she's like such a funny person yeah very funny yeah um she was she was pretty pregnant when you saw her um yeah i think she's pretty when without a baby in her too nice theme music and we're back it came in a little late but i you know the music uh and we're back i want to ask you questions about that movie um okay but not yet the reason i want to ask you questions about it is because i like to take advantage of like this podcast is having people that i get to talk to that i wouldn't without the podcast and i want to ask questions so i could learn stuff i i'm jealous of that aspect of your podcast because this you know our podcast with seth meyers we don't have any guests and so we learn nothing yeah why don't you we might have to once we run out of digital shorts to talk about so yeah maybe we're going to be encroaching on your you want to be on the podcast first guest well i've been the first guest of a couple of pretty big podcasts and they're really really big now that's okay great what a what a what a what a funny first guess some guy that you met once on another podcast yeah is that the lion's mane guy funny wordplay i don't know when he's being sincere i don't know when he's being sincere i don't know when he's being sincere yeah well i mean yeah i you know we got to start somewhere um i started with digital shorts because of you really yeah um in fact the first because you used to shoot on film and then you switched over to digital correct i didn't even know about you until years later yeah um the first sketch i made was with one of my best buds who is named john dewalt and uh it was a live from new york it's saturday night sketch where we would say like i would say live from new york it's saturday night instead of psych and we made an intro to it and um with with you guys like looking cool around town basically it was just me okay but are you multiple times looking at camera and looking at camera i was just buying balloons or you know yes but it was still everyone else's name you know it was fred armisen and sandberg and blah blah blah gotcha um and you're dressed exactly the same i don't think we i switched out it was it was this was you know this was the 80s dude yeah i didn't think about switching outfits um but yeah it's funny actually because it not only did seeing your guys stuff make me want to start making videos yeah uh yeah the first sketch was was the saturday night live sketch i've been a fan of yours for such a long time thank you um wait can i ask a question did you did you make this short in la like we all moved down here to like make together like were you in the same boat yeah yeah i moved out here um to i wanted to act i started doing stand-up in cleveland yeah and uh i met john doing background work on angels and demons oh nice and i remember and you guys were just giggling in the background yeah we got separated like it's high school yeah um you're like you're having too much fun yeah no you're like this is an abusive thing like you get a hundred dollars and don't have fun 64. 64 yeah 64 for this was back in the day joe biden's america prices went up edit that out dude okay just the 64 for eight let people guess what what scale was um in the 2015s i hope you bleep it um yeah we bleep okay good i think bleeping keeps people guessing in a good way as opposed to cutting out well it just it makes you be like i'm leaning forward what what's being cut are you saying the alternative is cutting it out yeah i don't think you should cut it out you should just beep everything yes yeah when people want stuff out i say i respect that however could we just bleep it for like eight seconds yeah we've done eight second bleeps yeah that's great and people are probably thinking like what you know what we could also do at the end of this we could also have uh just random words where i'm like and then i went to the store and blah blah blah in like like just a few sentences and then you can put those over what i'm saying so it looks more like dub rather than yeah but we got we already got it well let me do a couple right now ready and then i went to the store and found a uh cereal bar on sale and that was great so just so i understand yeah i'm gonna you're gonna say a hundred dollars and instead of me saying 64 for eight it's gonna be you saying i went to the store yeah yeah over your dead body i think available now available now yep you could probably see it i don't know when this is coming out but i uh a couple weeks still it'll be out i hope i do hope people see it in the theaters we can talk about it later but like we can talk about it now why wouldn't people see it in the theaters people wait now yeah don't you wait like i feel like everybody waits now i'm a theater brat but yeah sometimes i wait okay great yeah no this one and like but you watched it in your the courtesy of your own dude i watched it it's okay well we'll put i went to the store over the word courtesy i watched it right there dude yeah i mean that's a big that's a very big uh movie uh screen that you got there nervous television yeah i lost my train of thought that's a big movie no but i just mean like you're a a cinephile so to speak he's a cinephile i love movies i'm not well educated i just watch them all the time can you imagine how much better it would be in the theater this movie in particular like there's a lot of things to be honest with you i think you could watch it on your phone really no get to the theater yeah please i only watch it here because yeah i mean people will watch it they send it to like i have to screen it before yeah that's fair yeah i'm glad you saw it me too yeah um what'd you think i i loved it great also i took some screen grabs because there's questions i want to ask you just so i can remember but one thing i think is really funny yeah which i don't think it's meant to be funny is how bad jason siegel looks when he's oh he's injured no that's that's it definitely makes me laugh does it at the very end he's demolished he looks i sent a picture of it to samara it's yeah oh it's funny yeah so yeah so when you're doing it are you being funny or when you see it do you laugh well okay so there's a lot of continuity that needs to happen with any kind of like special effects makeup obviously so that all that gets tracked like anytime there's like a hit or anything like that so you're just basically adding on yeah special effects makeup guys are going to be like oh jesus jesus jesus jesus are like this hit caused this injury and you will see it in the next you don't obviously see it immediately it happens in the next scene or the next few scenes that it like starts to swell so all that's being tracked obviously so all of that was done before any of the movie was was shot like we're testing this out and so there we're looking at jason together i'm looking at with him being like that's a bit much and then but by the end though he's beat to by the end and so like we're looking at that stuff and being like is this too much is this does this track is this like and i will say that i'm gonna pull up a picture certain things got cut out and there's an end fight like drop dead like that happens and so i will say we'll say let me see you got it yeah it's bad he looks bad oh and that's not even the worst of it i think it actually gets worse than that no you're right no this is that this is the worst that is the worst i took a couple throughout it was like jesus though i mean even when i was editing the movie i would do freeze frames and then send them to jason and be like we did it we really did it do you do you um talk to somebody to say what the swelling would be my i actually had an injury on my podcast and i watched it happen yeah wait what happened how'd you get an injury podcasting um uh i almost want to show you please happen a couple of times with the same person okay well while you look that up let me just tell you that the the special effects makeup people are they they feel like they know every aspect of like human anatomy so they really do have like an incredible sense of like this would cause this this like there were things that that uh like i don't want to ruin anything so you can maybe put this out but like we went to the store over this yes so when she gets shot in the foot and the footage is completely demolished like i was like what's the thing that's holding and they're like that's a an artery like or a tendon it's a it's a tendon that like and so i was that was the one moment where i did you were like is that how it is 100 no no i'm saying it's easier for me to not look away now i think because i'm part of this business and i've i've seen the behind the scenes and i know it's not real now you're now you're a sicko and you love it no man i just experienced but i i on that one i still like was like oh yeah the toe one that's not really a spoiler this is the best use of actual video for a podcast that you're doing like that was great oh thanks man it was great you know we got a uh signal award for the most innovative video podcast oh that's great okay it makes me want to do video honors i've seen clips of you guys on camera what am i thinking of uh i was i did some stuff on snl back in the day uh okay girls the tv show girls i think um everybody remembers that uh yeah joe apatow who helped on uh pop star that's great dude i did my research oh man if he produced um correct and his cock is in it is what his cock is in it buddy oh that's that's right that's buddy judd apatow's we're doing a pod sorry about that um so uh it's a long story but i i won some trophies and my cleaning ladies polished them okay and it was slippery and i had paul rudd on the podcast great and i pretended to throw the trophy at him and it slipped out and he said i could post it um you hit paul rudd with a trophy you could press oh this is great this is for friendship it is hard to become friends when you're an adult i remember we were talking about the last time you're a basketball player are you pointing that yeah you play basketball boom you tell me that was a nice whoa hey so we're doing something fast i was joking this time around my last oh this is great oh oh oh my god holy shit oh shit what are you doing oh my god i think you broke my nose i talked i talked to paul like a month ago because i was trying to get him for this and he was saying that he was recovering from something and like i i said he got really hurt from this i i'm sure this is dude this is definitely what this was he didn't have a job because of it yes and it was like a big nintendo it was like a follow-up to this nintendo thing holy shit oh i've seen him do a nintendo thing he did but like but that this was like a follow-up there's like an even are you able to do it is he able to do it later no no he's because he said his nose was all up holy shit dude um how confident are you with that sitting there without you holding it why well i mean interesting i'm why i guess i'm just thinking like what if it falls oh i think you're gonna throw it at me oh i have a reputation now yeah well and that's the first time i've seen that as the episode went on it started to get worse and it made me think about that kind of stuff like during your thing like oh right just because you get a cut doesn't mean that's where the cut is it then probably starts to swell and then like so it's like personal experience what like that you're like yeah i was thinking about that when i was watching it because that's it how did he not go to the hospital immediately like did he like did you just take him to the hospital and then you continued the pod um he didn't go to the hospital no one of the times he came on though he uh he did okay the horror genre is an interesting one yeah that i've become more inspired by after uh ready or not and um uh send help and your movie send help was fun i like that and i i just saw ready or not too i mean see all of those but you know april 24th is what would you like to story on your back i've noticed you adjusting oh sure thanks thanks okay okay thanks april 24th well now i'm worried about my coffee because you mentioned it well that's why i mentioned it i guess all i'm asking is for you to be worried about it okay and if you if you're worried and it's still worth it it's so far it's still worth it oh yeah thanks oh sorry i was well just okay great thank you thank you okay and then i'll have the dog on the side okay so what got you in a comedy so i've gotten to close a little bit more over the past couple years i found some brands that i like and i wear them i'm a sweats guy mostly but i go on stage i want some pants i want some outfits but i'm still a sweats guy and a sweater guy there's nice stuff there's medium stuff there's not nice stuff i don't really know the difference until i try stuff on then i find some brands that i like and then i trust it and for those i'll order those online chances are i'll like it i know how they fit me but if i don't like it it could be a little bit of a pain in the ass to return i was very very excited when Revolve said that they wanted to work with me because this is something that I use. Go to the men's section. They also have women's and beauty, of course, but I'm just speaking for myself. Clothing, you could go by denim, jacket, coats, lounge, pants, polo, shirts, et cetera. You could also go by brand. There are brands that I really like. Scotch and Soda is something that I've just really liked for a bit. Sweaters, dope. Two-day shipping. Returns are so easy. They give you everything that you need to return it. So if it doesn't fit you well, you could return it for a different size. If you don't like the way it fits you in general, return it. It's not an issue. This is like what the world is now. They bring you the clothes, you try it on, you keep what you like, return what you don't. Everything is styled so you see how it works. It's not just pictures on a white background. It shows people. It tells you how tall they are, how it fits. Revolve Man shows you what goes with what, so you're not just guessing. There were some pieces that I ordered on its own and I did look. I found some pants that I could wear with that and I probably would, but like, oh, that's a similar style. I like this. Revolve has the best shipping and returns in the game. Try stuff on. If you don't like any of it, just return it. It's free. It's easy. They get new stuff, I think like twice a week. They just have so many good clothes on here. Whether it's a big night out, a wedding, a trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolve Man always has it. Go to revolve.com slash Tyso to shop and use code Tyso for 15% off your first order. Free two-day shipping, easy returns. That's revolve.com slash Tyso and use code Tyso for 15% off your entire order. Offer ends soon. Do not sleep on it. Jorma, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm curious if you or you are the warm weather, but a little bit concerned about what happens with the bugs during that time of year. Now, let me start by saying I'm the type of guy that when I see a bug, I put it in a cup and I bring it outside. Some people say they die out there. I don't know. I'm just, I don't want them in my house, but I'm not really somebody who's like kill the bugs. In fact, put it in a cup and bring it outside. But there's a difference between a bug inside and an infant station, like where babies go before they get on the bus. They go to the infant station. Best station. Anyway, that's where Pesty comes in. Get this box sent to you. DIY pro-grade pest control for a fraction of the cost of hiring a pro. Simple application in just 10 minutes with over 10,000 five-star reviews. It's kid and pet friendly once dried. Once dried. Comes with here with the application bag, a rechargeable application sprayer. The home barrier shows you right here all on one little card. Seems simple enough. Pesty gets rid of over 100 types of bugs. Pesty is kid and pet friendly. 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You've probably heard of Revolve Women if you're a woman probably because it's a hot, it's a hot shopping, shopping network. I know, I mean, before Revolve Men even came to me, I didn't know that they did men's clothes. I knew of this app. I know people that use it. Oh yeah, wow, they do do men's clothes. Look at that. Yeah, and I've been buying stuff on it. So when I first found out about it, I used it just to like to better understand how it works. But now like it's kind of a thing I go to. I like clothes. I got into clothes a couple years ago. There's certain brands I like. Revolve gets new stuff all the time. You could say it's constantly changing like and adding to their inventory. Free two-day shipping. I've been ordering stuff from them where like, oh, I like this. I don't like this, where the idea is almost like trying it on. So like I don't feel bad if I'm ordering stuff just to try on. Hey, John Michael, who is the Revolve Man? Think of it as a place guys who care about how they look go to shop. It's pretty simple. So if you're looking for something to wear for a big night out, a wedding, a trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, believe me, Revolve Man has it. Go to revolve.com slash Tyso to shop and use code Tyso for 15% off your order. Free two-day shipping, which is awesome. Easy returns. Awesome. You just try stuff on. Offer ends soon. Do not sleep on it. Great question. Just being a ham bone. Got it. Yeah, there's a picture of me, you know, early days, like when you take the soccer team photo. Or baseball team or whatever it is. And then there's the photo. And then they're in the little oval, at least in the 80s. There was a little oval of you. And it was like an individual shot. And the shot when I was like seven years old is like my pants hiked up to my chest, looking off as if I'm like a sailor looking off at the horizon. Do you think people thought that was you looking at how far you hit the baseball? It was soccer. It was soccer. So I had the ball with me. So like nobody was thinking that. So, you know, like, I mean, maybe I was looking for another ball. Huh? You know, that was that was before after style boys. That was the before after style was those way before. How old are you gotten to the style boys? Style boys was early 20s, basically. And then we had another band that was actually right before that, which was, we played alter egos. And it was called the Party Andersons. And that was Dennis, Philip and Arnold Anderson. They had a brother named Greg, I think. We lived in Florida. And we drove around in a Subaru Brat. And then Greg died. We were very sad about it. And then it's a very it was aggro party music, basically. Could you sing something? It's actually Yeah, sure. I don't want to blow the mic up. Yeah, that's fine. It's we have 32 bit float. Okay, great. Because because I will say what the fuck does that mean? It's 32 bit float. You don't have a 32 bit. That means like you can go up or down 32 decibels, dude, it doesn't peak without the game. Whoa, whoa, we were this. This is classy. They got this. They got this and they got that. I like you that that's classy, bro. Okay. Yeah. All right. Ready? Rock, roll, skate, eat a bag of shit. Rock, roll, skate, eat a bag of show. Suck a motherfucking dick. And then you're a motherfucking titty sucking two ball bitch with the full large pussy and a double dick or dick. Anyway. It goes on from there. And a double dick or dick. I was thinking at a big old clit. You know, what's funny is that is that everybody has a different version of it. Yeah. Right. So, you know, say lovey. Live in La Vida Loca. And Juliette Lewis in the movie verbatim says that which is like something we used to say in third grade is motherfucking titty sucking two ball bitch. And Juliette had a different version as well. And it was but it was very fun to have her improv that and have me be like, I've never heard of that. I've never heard of that. I've never heard anyone. Oh, you didn't ask her to say that. No. I could tell you're a big Harry Potter fan. Thank you. Well, my dog is named Fang. And also. Yeah. But I don't know if it was scripted or if this is your but your edition. But sure. The nicknames of Jason and Samara are Harry Potter characters. Yes. That was also Nick and Brian who wrote the script. Shout out to Nick and Brian who wrote the script. And shout out to Karen Gillan, co-producer. Shut up. And in not in a British way. Why not? Well, I don't want to flip them off. Is this British for flip off? The middle finger. Yes. But but not this. This is. Do you know where it comes from? You clearly don't. I'll tell you. Archery. Yes. What? So you knew it. I could guess because I've heard somebody talk about pluck you, fuck you or something. It was from fighting the French and the French would cut the fingers off of the archers. And so the archers from the ramparts. We're showing they still have. Yeah. They're like, fuck you. I got my fingers. I never knew what ramparts was. Do you understand? Because of in the ramparts red glare. Yes. Yeah. Bunch of bombs in the air. Sing the rest of it. Gave proof through the night that our flag was still. Oh, we were both harmonizing. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner get way. For the land of the free. Or the land of the free. ♪ Home of the brave ♪ - That's from "Naked Gun." - That's right. - Did you direct that? - No. - Wait, I was joking, but then who did the new "Naked Gun"? - Akiva. - Oh yeah, I didn't know that. - The other guy who looks just like Akiva. - But when I said it, I wasn't even thinking about that. I was thinking about when Frank Drebin was singing the national anthem and he goes, "Bunch of bombs in the air." - Yes. I mean, that is an amazing "Naked Gun," but I didn't direct that one either. - Yeah. - Yeah, that was one of the Zuckers. - Probably. - Yeah, I think so. - The one that, the men's warehouse? - Yes, exactly. - Wasn't that his name? - George Zucker. - Yeah. Dude. - Yeah. I know, it fits in very nicely. - What? Oh, I was just putting my hands together. - Your fingers. No, I'm saying that your fingers fit very nicely. - There was something we were talking about, I think. "Bunch of bombs in the air." - "Bunch of bombs in the air." - Oh, "Ramparts, pluck ya, fuck ya." But right before this, what was it? - "Nick and Brian." - Right. - We were talking about "Nick and Brian," who wrote the script. - Right, and then "Harry Potter." - And then "Harry Potter," and then "Nick and Brian." - Yes. - Anyway, and then in. - I was going backwards. You were going forwards then again. - Yeah, but when you say, "And then." - Yeah, all right, fine. That's fair. - Thank you. - I should've just said, "But." I should've just said, "Nick and Brian, but," because "but" is the opposite of "and." - Or before. - Oh, I could've said that, yeah. - Yeah. - That's fair. - Well, thanks for coming over. - Yeah, no problem. - You were a big pop star when you were DJing. - Yes. - And you just needed the iPod. - Yeah. - And then the rest, you could have all your audio books of "Harry Potter." - It was, by the way, the iPod was still old then, even though the movie was 10 years old. - Oh, you did? You picked up on that? - Well, I saw it when it came out, and I remember thinking, I just remember that then. - Yeah. - I remember thinking, "That's funny, it's old." But I've seen the movie a fair amount. - That's, thank you. - That's one of those movies, and pardon me for saying something that might be taken as a negative. - It's okay. - It didn't do well. - No, none of them do, you know? - It's "MacGruber," "Popstar," "Hot Rod." - "MacGruber" had a big resurgence. - So, "Hot," fucking "Popstar" does now, too. - Good, I didn't know if it did or not. - No, no, they're literally doing retrospectives now that are like sing-along versions that like "Alamo Draft" and stuff like that, so yeah. - Dude. - 'Cause it's like the 10-year anniversary, right? - It's one of the, really, it's really one of my funniest, like one of your funniest movies that's on the list, it's. - How many are on your list? Like, is it top 10 or top five? - I mean, I haven't quantified it like that, but like probably not 10. - Yeah, it's probably eight. - Maybe? - Yeah, I think that's right. - Maybe "Naked Gun," "Step Brothers," "Popstar." - It's, you know what, it's. - Yeah, that's right. - Maybe. - Yeah, no, I. - You know, then, you know, you got your "Dumb and Dumbers" and the such. - Yeah. - But like from a generation like- - Can I say something? - Yeah. - I wasn't a big "Dumb and Dumber" guy. - There's like one or two jokes that I liked in it, but. - Did you see it as an adult? - No, I should see it again, to be fair. - It holds up. - It does, it does. - It's still, yeah. Ace Ventura in "Dumb and Dumber," he's a liar liar. - Yeah. - He's just. - The guy's on fire, liar liar. Did you, I would say I was getting my kids into Jim Carrey recently, 'cause we were, name drop, we were going to "Sonic the Hedgehog" to visit the set, and my kids were gonna meet him, and so I, - Ben Schwartz. - Ben Schwartz wasn't there, 'cause he does all the VO, he was not actually on set. But like, did you think he was actually playing "Sonic the Hedgehog" like on set the whole time? - Oh, I know. - Yeah. Anyway, so like, so I was showing "The Juice Weasel," do you remember that sketch on "Living Color?" Oh, watch that, you guys, and cut to "Juice Weasel." - With a little juice. No whizzing the juice. - Whizz the juice. - No, no, no, whizzing the juice. - No whizzing the juice. - Wasn't that good? And. - This is a really good podcast. - Is that when he has no lips? - He's doing that juice weasel. Ah, juicer, you gotta get the life of the juice out of it. - And then he puts dirt in the juice weasel. - Oh, you get the, you don't want the plant, you want the dirt. It's really good. - Yes, I do remember that, actually. - Yes. - I do remember that. - I needed to do it for like at least 15 seconds before he was like, "Oh yeah, that's it." And pressuring. But like, so I played it for my kids. I'm like, this is like one of the funniest fucking guys in the world. My daughter meets Jim Carrey. He's unbelievably nice to her. She's just like, he's super present. He's like really great with her. She does this, she's five years old. She does one of the best yo-yo tricks I've ever seen where she's holding the string. She thinks she's doing a trick. The yo-yo is on the ground, not moving at all. And she's just going like this. Like really, like thinking she's doing a trick. It's really funny. And then we're driving away from the set after she's met him and after my son met him. And just from the back of the car, I just hear her go, "You know that guy, the guy you think is so funny? "Yeah, I'm funnier than that guy." I was like, wow, shit. Really confident, really confident five-year-old. - Because she got him laughing? - No, she just like was thinking about it. Like he's not that funny. - I want to blow my nose when we get back. - Do it. - Maybe we'll cut to a commercial now. - What are we? - Promoting. I want to get involved. Do I get like a dollar if I promote it? - Give you a hundred bucks. - Really? - Yeah, you got to give it back though. - Oh, fuck. Okay, what is it? I'll do it. - I don't know. I'll look and do a commercial. I actually- - Chime. Chime mattresses. - I don't know how you sell mattresses. - You do ads, don't you? - Yeah, of course. - Hey. - Yeah, cha-ching. - I was just playing with a midget's nipple. - I hope he gives me a hundred dollars. Like he just left, but I- - Feel free to plug anything you want now. If you want to plug a movie again. - Okay. - - I don't, I think he did it for me. I don't think I need to do it again. What do you think? You get a cutaway? - Man, I needed that. - Okay. - Yeah. - Me likey that. - I did, I really did. Like I wasn't completely present with you 'cause I was- - Yeah, yeah. - I'll have to do it again. - You sound sexy though. - Thanks, man. So the idea of your daughter feeling funny, I think is so important. - Yes. Can I tell you another daughter story? Recently I went, I didn't even ask for permission. Just fucking, I feel so comfortable. - Well, you didn't wait for the answer. - Well, my shoes are off. My shoes are off. So we went in a bathroom. She's like got this thing recently where she has to go to the bathroom all the time. Even the way we were like, please, you just went like. Anyway, we were going to the bathroom in this restaurant. And she goes, dad, you're so lucky because when your penis fell off, you can stick it in your ear and make a wish. And I was like, well- - How does she know that? How old is she? - She did this bit where we were in a pool once and she went like under the water for a second. She was impressing herself that she has goggles and she can like dip her head under. And then she came up and she was like, dad, your penis fell off. And I was like, okay. And she was like, you stepped on it and then you threw it out of the pool. And I was like, I didn't, that didn't happen. I didn't throw my penis off. And then this was six, I fell off a ladder. I don't know if I mentioned that. - This is unrelated or it's going to be related? I'm guessing it's going to be related. - It's related in that I fell off a ladder. You're seeing me seven months after I fell off the ladder. I was in a wheelchair for like two months. Anyway, but point being is that when she told me I could put my penis in my ear and make a wish, it was eight months. Eight months after this initial talking about my penis falling off. So I just mean like it was apropos of zero. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm missing something. You fell off a ladder. - What could you possibly be missing? That story was clear. Move on to a question. We're good here. - I'm fine with that. - Great. - Do you want something else to drink? - No, I'm good with this. - I think you're acting, but it seems, are you upset about something? - No, I'm not. I was acting. - Do you ever have people sincerely ask you, like you're joking and you know you're joking and everyone knows you're joking. And then you realize that people don't know you're joking. - On our podcast, occasionally my joke is to get really sincere and nobody likes it. - I love that. - So they know I'm joking, but they hate it. - Got it. - Yeah. - Do you think it's funny to be sincere sometimes? - I think it's great to be sincere. And I don't understand why we're as comedians, like why we can't, we can't be as sincere as we should be occasionally. Like I'm depressed often. You know what I mean? - I'm lonely all the time. - Yeah. Oh yeah. Anytime I come out to LA, every single time I come out to LA, there's a moment where I'm dressing out of the back of my car. I have no idea why, but like the trunk is open and I'm dressing, like swapping clothes. It's fucking hot. And then there's always a moment where I'm eating in my car. - Why don't you keep your suitcase in the hotel? - It's usually, this usually happens when I've just left the airport and I'm like, maybe I'm transitioning from New York and it's hot in New York. - Brave. - Thank you. Thank you. - So this is before you get to the hotel. - Yeah, it's usually before. - So you're driving with the AC on, you stop. - I stop. - You change into shorts. - No, I don't. It's usually a shirt thing. I do a quick, quick one. 'Cause I don't want to like give away the goods. - And that's depressing just to change a shirt? - It's depressing because you know how like sometimes like when you're sick, right? And then you go outside and it's really warm and nice out and you feel, it just feels awful 'cause like the weather doesn't match your mood pathetic fallacy uh the but when it doesn't match your mood it somehow like makes you feel bad because you're not happy like does that happen to you you just came outside to get me right you feel like shit it's super nice out don't you feel like a little bit like i'm a troll i should go back inside i don't deserve to be out here sonic the hedgehog that's a good voice no i get what you're saying a little bit of knuckles in there um i get what you're saying but no the only reason i did kind of feel that way is because i got this new sweater i haven't worn it yet and i was thinking you're a connecticut guy so i'll kind of dress for you did really yeah because you look great thanks man but it's too hot for this yes that's why i put the ac we're both wearing sweaters and don't need to be yeah um i wouldn't be doing this if i were leaving my house no but so but why are you what color you it's like cream you're like wearing cream yeah it's a good outfit right yeah you look like a big creamsicle now i don't know if you're making pretending to be sincere delicious do you really think that kind of yeah you like that yeah mlt uh that's another one that really frustrates people too because i do say that a lot i d s t a l what's that w t oh oh you're better at this than me is that what you're gonna say you do acronyms yda yes you do what yda yes do uh fuck it you do acronyms you do that come is that what you were doing oh no i i ruined the dog no i train him when you slap he goes into his home really which is which we got that actually saying from happy gilmore when kevin nealon says go to your home or something oh yeah yeah swipe back to uh encino man don't swipe to anything just keep the direction also i knew that was fire marshal bill sometimes i make jokes and then i see it wasn't fire marshal no when i said who lost his gums oh okay gotcha sometimes i'll do a joke yeah uh samara was on here yeah and she was talking about her nips well she's fucking sharp too i would imagine she like stayed pretty uh eye to eye with dude not i'm funnier than kerry and i'm sharper than samara your daughter you heard it here first those awards don't come from nowhere bing bang fuck your life bing bang do you know that reference um i'm 29 there's probably a lot of stuff i don't get side talk new york what's that side talk new york is that a sketch or that's just how people talk in new york it's a it's it's a uh x thing where they basically like film uh weirdos in new york and uh and one of the things that is from side talk new york is that they have a little uh the sound of the subway car going bing bong and then everyone has started to say in almost like a representing of new york bing bong and then for some reason they also say fuck your life which i have no idea why but it's very funny when everyone's like fuck your life bing bong is that the same genre as like tax taxi cab confessionals i don't know what they do in england though they probably say like uh rope a dope yeah yeah life i don't know what they say in london the black cabs are you allowed to say that black cabs is that what you call them here the black cabs they have to take this thing called a knowledge test which they know every nook and cranny could you say nook hey there we're going over to big ben you know where big ben is the knowledge test great thank you i can't wait to watch this i have so many sketches that i used to do because of you guys yeah um and uh wait what were they i mean we did just tons of just sketches okay yeah digital shorts sure yeah and remember and you used to shoot on like eight eight millimeter cut in your bathroom each scene like oh yeah they gotta get these like right it's hard to see them because the like the little eight millimeter film frames are so small get the little uh magnifying glass you get in there gotta get the scotch tape because you couldn't afford the other kind of tape that like bonds it together right and then you saw our shorts you saw and then you went digital uh i i would love to say yes to that i'm just that was that's way before my time oh oh so i told samar she can't say nips because that's a racial slur jesus i was just joking yeah that's fine but i put the clip out and i bleeped her saying it because bleeping's funny yeah it's very fun and that that clip did really well oh no so many people talk about how i'm such a woke loser fucking don't bleep it what is that your audience because i needed i need to dial it up a notch so so when when when people come i think this podcast as far as comedy podcasts has the nicest audience and i think it's the nicest audience and i think it's the nicest audience and i think it's the nicest audience and i've had other other comedians have told me that not according to what you just said but when clips do well and it's being introduced to people who don't know who i am gotcha that's when people who know who i am that's when the manosphere gets involved yeah man sucks it's a whole sphere now yeah it's like the stratosphere but for guys do you like acting take that as a no and you're depressed no i don't i don't there's no way you don't like acting no i love it in fact uh i'll tell you a sad story i was i was helping akiva out on the uh naked gun movie which is very very funny go see it april 24th along with over your dead body they come up the same day uh confused no they don't got it but see the other one uh but it but uh i was helping out i was uh doing some reshoot stuff uh and i was working with liam neeson and after we worked together at the premiere in new york liam took me aside on the red carpet and was like i don't know how he talks let me give you a piece of advice when you're talking to actors and you're giving direction you're very good you're very good but when you're giving direction don't act it out and i was like liam oh liam every time i'm directing i realize what i want to be doing is acting and i'm so sorry but it was very funny but yeah i love i love it i absolutely love it love it it's hard for me but i would never act in something i was directing i that's that my brain can't process that i except for pop star which i did so we co-directed yeah that's true that's true why not act in something you're directing do you want me to ask you that again so we don't see that you know i didn't like don't bleep it out just bleep all this out why not act while you're directing pros and cons what are the cons and are the cons the cons are are um uh what do you call a vanity project that's a con i think that like it can be seen as like look at me i had to put myself in this right oh you don't want to do something because other people will see you yeah and then uh and then um honestly like uh it's just it's it's two different sides of my brain i i love the problem solving of of directing honestly like it's like it's one of my favorite things about being on set might be i know everyone's fucking add these days so like i don't even know what it means anymore but like but there's no what what what means i don't know if it's all the spectrum shit we don't need to get into this part but like but i i have been diagnosed with add and i love that part of it is like when things are going awry or things need to be shifted which is oftentimes i was just doing that because of add oh and right yeah yeah oh by the way good plug uh you have a sandwich no have you heard the weird owl song uh ryer the kaiser which is a version of eye of the tiger no very yes i knew you i i am a huge weird fan and i had a bit of a do now yeah exactly i could play either tiger on the phone you could play two three six six three six three two one two three six three i don't want to bore you with it oh my god but you can that so i don't know this one yeah we'll get back we'll get i want i want to make sure we get back to add problem solving go ahead what is uh eye of the rye i had the rye or the kaiser rye of the kaiser it's a rye or the kaiser it's a post rocky he's opened up a deli and he is uh he's offering the rye of the kaiser one of my favorite movies growing up was uhf no i mean i never understood why he didn't do more movies after that and i am very pleased to say that i am very friendly and friends with weird owl now and jim carrey visited me uh one of the few people when you fell off a ladder any cave did not come visit me but weird out did when you fell off a ladder yeah he can visit me and uh i have a very uh uncool photo of me uh in a wheelchair with uh which i will show you and then do not show anybody else okay do you see the irony and you being a climber and how much that actually hurts you but then who's still stuck around yes yeah i do none of your friends came to visit you to be fair they were busy you know weird al is a busy no he was busy he was busy came over with his whole family too wow i know my my this here anakin guy maybe vader someday later now he's just a small fry yeah yeah it's better than that other song we were singing oh what song uh the star spangled banner it's not really oh come on no the stars love it or leave it guys star spangled banner is a is um it's really is a bop if you do i feel like star spangled banner is very similar to las vegas to where it's like it's who wait what okay keep going um if anybody says they don't like it i would say who you going with, you know, who's singing it. Oh yeah. You know, it's Vegas could be dreadful, but if you're going with a group of people that like to gamble, they like going to shows, you get stoned, you eat tons of great food, you get some massages, Vegas rocks. Can I tell you a Vegas story real quick? Yes. But we do have to get back to ADD problem solving directing. I think we're well talking about ADD right now. All of this I think encompasses ADD. Um, we went for Andy's bachelor party, Andy Sandberg. I also know him pretty cool. That's real cool. Yeah. Uh, but Andy's bachelor party, it was like 10 of us. We were all for some reason dressed in gray suits and we went to go see, uh, what's his name? The magician, um, David Copperfield. David Copperfield. I saw him last year. Yeah. Did you do the show or no? No, no. I just saw, it's just went to the show in Vegas with this. How weird is the fucking show? And the dinosaur? It like the, like the little guy who's farting. There's like a little farting alien in the show. Oh, I guess you were at the same show I was at. Excuse me. Anyway. So he, uh, so we're, it's, it's like 12 of us, right? In like two tables up front, like right next to the stage. Right. And there was a moment where I leaned over to Andy and I was like, not going to be able to do this after you're married. Um, and, uh, and then, uh, the end of the show, I hope you can play this song, but like, you remember the end of the show? Hold on. Come on, dude. Get your shit together. I'm with you through. You're not going to be able to do it. I love that joke. This whole part. Uh, so the end of the show though, is a Rick Ross song comes off like on at the end and it goes, poof, they go to car poof. They go to grill poof, a hundred mil David Copperfield. So baller. I think it's Rick Ross and Meek Mill maybe. I'm not sure. Your audience will know way in the comments. We're back guys. All right. So we were talking about, uh, over your dead body, April 24th. Uh, go see it guys. Uh, what'd you think about the film? Did you get a picture with David Copperfield? Yes. And he does this exact same smile every single time. Yeah. So weird. And he says, you stay in a certain place. Yeah. The picture. Will you send me a picture of you guys? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me, let me find it. You know, um, other celebrities do this. And I remember the first time I discovered this was I met Eric Roberts at a, uh, some Asian restaurant, bleep it. And he held me in a certain way. And he also did the same picture with a friend of mine who I was with. I came across somebody else taking a picture with Eric Roberts and he was doing it the same way. He, I don't remember what side, but he puts his arm around you a certain way. Like you remember how, again, there's a big age difference between us. Yeah. But in high school, when I was growing up, the popular kids that played varsity, when they would put their arm around their girl, they would do it as if like the best, like, do you remember when black athletes in the early two thousands wore suits that were funny, big? Yes. And it would sit on it. Like it would, that would be their shoulder. Yeah. That's, they would put their arm around the girl like this. Gotcha. Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes, I do. Yeah. Um, he would put his arm around, like, like he is a varsity athlete and I'm his chick. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll tell you something and pun, I guess intended, but I would say it anyway, the man's the best of the best. I really, really like him. And it's interesting that he, you know, Julia massive star. Yeah. Eric Roberts, daughter. What's her name? Sheila. Sheila Roberts. Right. Massive star. Massive star. Yeah, absolutely. Eric Roberts. We both know her name. I mean, he was in, you know, a Christopher Nolan Batman movie, but other than that, people don't really know him. Great hair, great actor. Still got that arm thing though. Yeah. I mean, nailing it. You want to know something interesting? I got something. I want to go. I got something not interesting after yours. Oh, go for a set. Oh, okay. Uh, in high school I wanted to get a varsity jacket. Yeah. So me and my friend, Winston Ross, you know, put up his Instagram. He, uh, we like, we decided to try to join the badminton team. Cause we were like, no one fucking plays badminton. That was a team in, in, in, in your school. Yes. And then, and then we joined the team. There's 45 kids on it. Uh, not to stereotype, but amazing Filipino kids. Like it was all Filipino kids who were fucking incredible. We were garbage. I got kicked off the team after one meet because I failed my physical. So I didn't get the varsity letters. You wouldn't cough. No. Did you fail a physical? Absolutely not. I don't know. I don't know. I think like, I don't, as a kid, just a pasty waste of space. I don't know, man. I'm glad your daughter doesn't have your confidence. Do you think that if you actually stuck a penis in your ear that you could make a wish? I mean, I would think if I had a penis in my ear, I'd have two wishes left. I don't remember what I was going to say. That was interesting. Do you ever get embarrassed that you laugh at things? It's like, you're like, fuck it. I'm so bummed that got me. Not that I'm not saying that what just happened, not in real life. Yeah. But if I'm on stage, when I laugh, I sometimes think, well, now I'm done because I've let everybody know that I'm Robert Downey jr. And Ironman doesn't exist. Like, but, but in person, I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger with the pump, but like, right. It's like coming. I mean, that's insane to even think to put that there. Laughing is laughing feels so good. I always want to laugh. Yeah. No, I don't get it. I only get upset if it, if it affects like a narrative I'm trying to sell. Right. If you're breaking too much of the fourth wall. Yeah. Yeah. Although when like on set and laughing, it sucks because you want to get it. But those fits where you can't not stop laughing the best. I've had some of those on this podcast and moments where I actually edited them out and like, I want to keep them in. Yeah. They're so funny, but it takes away with something that was happening when they're happening. I, I, especially it depends on who it's with. Sometimes if it's with people where I've seen them in bloopers and things, I'm like, you're like, Oh, what's happening? Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's, um, yeah, it's a bonding thing. Yeah. You know, we're still going to get back to the directing thing. You said, I said, I have something interesting to tell you. I think it was Vegas related. Yours was more interesting. And then my thing was about, uh, varsity. Yeah. Yeah. But yours was more interesting. Was it about Eric Roberts? Was it about David Copperfield? Poof. They go to car. So you like problem solving? Yes. Who doesn't? I love it. I, I want to, uh, I do silly stuff on this all the time because this is my opportunity to direct things. I, what you do is what I do. I do silly stuff on this all the time because this is my opportunity to do what I want to do, but I also want to act. Yeah. And I feel like the way I have an opportunity to direct stuff is just when I make it. Right. So the idea of not being in it, it doesn't feel like, like the opposite. I think this is very different. I don't think this is a vanity project that you're directing. No, but I'm saying I want to do it with, with film. Oh, okay. Um, and then eventually upgrade to digital. And then if I get big enough, eventually upgrade to film again, because that's what's happening. That is correct. Yeah. Um, people love talking about how the odyssey was filmed and, oh, what is that? Is that like 180 millimeter or something? It's IMAX, whatever that is. Yeah. But it's like a thousand miles worth of film and he colors it practically like in the film. And like, what does that mean? You would know better than me, but I believe they didn't color it digitally. Yeah. Like while, while processing old school. Yeah. They got like, like the 90 year old dude. No, I think the old school was completely, I can't, I don't even know. Old school was digital. They didn't color correct movies to a brother of art though. I'm just talking, I'm talking about the movie old school. Yeah. Speaker city. I know. He didn't. He's young. What are you 15? So he doesn't know the movie old school. I know the movie old school. All right. Uh, do a monologue from it. Yeah. Do the monologue. Okay. Sounds good. What I was getting at is I want to, I want to make something that I get to be in and I want to direct it. I never even thought about it being a vanity thing. The obstacle I think about is I don't know what it will look like. Right. Well, you could do playback, you know, if you could. Every take. There's people who do that. Yeah, for sure. If they're in something. Yeah. Yeah. If you're like feeling vain, I mean, it's a vanity project, so you gotta, I guess you're right. Do you ever, are you ever in something and you've seen playback and you don't like the way you look physically? I'm going to not like the way I look physically in this even. Isn't that a great place to be? Yes. Do you know what I'm saying? Why? I was never a hot guy, but I didn't know that I could never be one. Does that make sense? Sure. Okay. Yeah. Um, maybe if I work out more or if like something looks right or something, I'm never going to dunk. Um, well, that's not me, but I, I accepted it. a while ago now, but like, I would have liked to accept it earlier. Like, oh, no, yeah, I look. I don't. Sometimes I look. Sometimes I'm like, oh, I look good. Sometimes I look not good. Sometimes I look bad. I don't like when I look bad. Unless it's common. It's funny. Yes. But it doesn't affect me anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I saw dailies of something of me, of a show I was in. It's called As We See It. And it's very good. And it's a drama. Sure. And I looked. You're doing drama. Yeah. Great. Watch. Say something to me in Spanish. Okay. In Spanish? Yeah. Okay. Porque tu padre es muerte. I don't speak Spanish, man. I clearly don't either. I want to try that again. I was trying to be dramatic. Do it again. But I thought it was good. Okay. Porque tu muerte es tu padre. Okay. Do it again. Zang! Is that from. Wayne's World. Camera one. Camera two. I should use that one more often. I haven't used that one at all. I've noticed you've been going to that one. Well, this one seems fun because there's a whip. Of course. Yeah. It's a lot of whips. I hope you get an extra payment for your forearms. Yeah. You know, it's funny that you say that because he was a. He lives in. He's from Minnesota. Sure. And when he got here with all the whipping, boy, are his arms tired. Zang! Wayne's World is a movie that is inspired by a character that was popularized on the show Saturday Night Live. Oh, seamless. Nice. Much like MacGruber. Correct. The only difference is Wayne's World did well in the box office. Oh, bing bong, fuck your life. And in this case, my life. I want to see what picture I took yesterday to ask a question about something. Oh, yes. I remember. Okay. I'm ready. I'm ready. This isn't a spoiler, but it is toward the end of the movie. Okay. Jason Segel's character is mustering up some confidence to punch a bad guy. Was that Back to the Future inspired? Yes. 100%. And I will tell you this. I kept acting it out. I acted it out so many times and it was shot in Finland. Finnish crew. Very, very stoic. And I kept being like, and then he powers up and he's like, get your damn hands off of her. And I kept doing it and no one laughed every time. Why were you doing it to show Jason how to do it? No, it was on location scouting. I kept acting out that moment and every time it failed and I loved it more and more. Every time it failed, it got funnier to me. Yeah, because it didn't fail. And not in my mind. Right. I was like, hey, this is your culture, not mine. In my head, up here, in my culture. It was subtle. I mean, the performance wasn't, but there was no reference to it. Right. And I wonder if it was a conscious choice because after that he didn't say, get your hands off of her. He said my wife. Does he say dang? He says damn, right? I don't remember what he says but I do know. Get your damn hands off of her. Oh, in Back to the Future. Yes. Yeah, I think that's what it is. No, he doesn't say it in our movie. But he does say something just like that. Get your hands off my wife or don't touch my wife. That's a different part though. No, it's right after that. It is. It's right after that. And I thought, and I mean this in a mean way, what a miss to not have him say, no, no, I'm joking. I want to be sincere. I thought that was an opportunity to say, get your damn hands off of her. And I was curious if you chose not to do it because it was too on the nose. Oh, did I answer it too quickly? Well, I just was wondering if maybe you bit off more than you could chew because he bit his nose. There's so many things that I want to, like, I just realized something I want to do. I want to watch a movie for the first time next to the director and I want to press pause and ask all the questions I want to ask. I think that's fucking brilliant. Can I tell you my greatest moment of sitting next to a director was David Gordon Green having done Your Highness with Danny McBride. It's a very funny movie. But he leaned over at the top as the credits were coming up in the beginning of the movie. And he was like, we made it rated R movie for 13 year olds. Like, happy that you were like, no one's going to get to see this, man. And I was like, this guy is the fucking shit, man. I was like, to be like, we spent all this money and it's not going to do well because our audience isn't, like, I was like, yeah, I love this guy. Did it not do well? I never saw it. It was the rated R movie for 13 year olds. Like, if your audience can't go to the movie, then that's a difficult road to hoe, so to speak. I grew up in a very rural community. What does that mean? What does that have to do? Because you said hoe? Road to hoe. Right. Seeds. Yeah. Photosynthesis. Yeah. Plants and stuff. I'm going to have some more caffeine. Do you want another caffeine? Do you want a magic mind? They're really good. Is it? It's like a healthier thing. I take it because I don't get anxious from it. Okay. Yeah, sure. I have two versions. I have a few versions, but there's two that I get off you right now. Regular or extra strength time released. You've won so many awards. Dude, that's not even half of them. Wow. What's that one? That's YouTube. Yeah, that's YouTube. We have a bigger one of that. Do you have a million? Yeah. It's so big it doesn't even fit on the wall. It's like the heaviest award I've ever seen. Holy shit. Yeah. It's really heavy. Do you guys have a million subscribers? Or it's a hundred thousand that's bigger? What is the. Maybe this is kind of far away from you. Come closer. It's a million, but like you mean. On YouTube, you have a hundred thousand subscribers? On YouTube. We have like seven million, I think, on YouTube. Oh, you're saying for Lonely Island. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking you were saying for your podcast. Yeah, obviously. Oh. No, yeah. So this is when you get a hundred thousand. The next one you don't get to a million. And then the next one is ten million. Right. Do you have ten million? You have to. You guys are getting hundreds of millions. I don't know. Weigh in on the comments. Do we have ten million subscribers? I don't think so. This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow. Remember, dude? Dude, sometimes I have people on my couch and I don't forget it, but I'm reminded like just now, dude, that's you. That's so fucking cool. Let me get your magic mind. Oh, yeah. Thanks. I'm going to hit all the cameras now. I wish I could hit that one, but. Oh, God. I hope people see this movie. Oh, God. Think fast. Jesus Christ, that genuinely scared me. Dude, you're a fucking legend. Dude, I think I could finish more than one of these. I'd chug them. I don't take them as a sip drink. Okay. I have to do the same, right? Or else I'm not part of the manosphere. That was great. That's fun. Does that have caffeine in it or something? Yeah. It's got matcha, green tea. It's got caffeine. I think it's like 55 milligrams. It's got L-theanine, so you know you're doing something right. I wanted to come up with an L-theanine pun, but I couldn't. Why not? L-theanine is just like the word orange. It doesn't rhyme with anything. Puns don't have to rhyme. Or should I say puns don't have to rhyme? That's great. Thank you. Can we cut to the sound of applause after? Do we cut to it or do we just add it? At this point, I just want to ask you to calm down because they've been applauding since it happened. Oh, I got you. Sit down in the back there, buddy. Andy Sandberg is one of your buds. You were his DJ for a while. Yeah, sure. What? Are we IRL here? With Carson Daly? Do you remember when you told me you thought it's funny to be sincere? Yes. Yeah. Do you want to do that with me real quick? Sure. When you do sincere, do you become sincere sincerely and it's funny or do you play sincere? That's a great question. I think I play sincere. That's good. Thanks. I like to play sincere. You're very good at it too. You don't know. I'm watching it right now. I like to play sincere sometimes because I sometimes see people being sincere and I believe that they believe it, but I don't believe it's real. I think you're pulling off more sincere now, right now. I was faking it. Look behind you. Look behind you. I walked into that. Use that camera every now and then. How long do I have to do this for? It's fine. I just wanted you to see something. Oh, okay. Did I see it? I don't know. When I see people being sincere, sometimes it turns me off because I feel like. Give me an example of when that's happened. Let me explain it and then I'll give you an example. I think that sometimes people don't know how to be either because they don't feel comfortable feeling what they're and behaving in those feelings. - Sure. - Or they're not in touch with how they feel and they're kind of wearing a mask or an autopilot. - Yeah. - And sometimes when they're behaving that way, I think they're doing what they think they need to do. - Okay. - But it's not even a conscious decision. And I look at them, at least in that moment, as being disingenuous, which is the opposite of what they're subconsciously trying to sell. - Right. - And I think the easiest example, and I can give you other ones, but that I think that people could relate to, is when people say, "How you doing?" - Okay. - And they're like, "I'm good, man. "I'm good, thanks. "How are you?" "Good." "Oh, that's awesome." - Yeah. - "I'm glad you're good." - Yeah. - I'm not lying. I meant it. I was curious how they were. I'm glad they're feeling good. - Yeah. - You're not. No, man. - Yeah. - You're not. I don't believe you. - I'm trying to think of. Yeah, none of us are good. I would say the best response I've gotten to that question, how are you doing, recently, was my friend Rachel's response was, "Today's good." Like, that is the most honest, like a. - 'Cause you feel like she's answering you. - Like, today's okay. Like, the rest of my life is dog shit, but today's okay. I'm surviving today. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So, it's like, she's answering you relative to herself. - Yes, but I would say the thing that sold it for me is the sigh, is the, you know. - 'Cause she's giving you more information. - Yeah. That's backstory. That's her backstory. - Yeah. - But I am of an era, right? '77 to '80, tail end of X Generation X. I looked at people in the face all the time because I didn't have the rectangle. And so, consequently, I processed people's faces. Like, I really get into, like, oh- - What number am I thinking of? - Is it between one and 10? It is now eight. I said it, and then you thought of eight. - Yeah. - Poof. They go to car. They go to grill. A hundred mil. Yorma Takoni. April 24th, over your dead body. Seamless. - And make sure you see it in the theater. And when you do, we don't like cameras in the theaters, but also at the end of something, take a picture or something. - Take a picture. - And post it to Instagram and say, "Go see this movie." And then tag me. Say, "Rick Glassman recommended it." 'Cause I want people to know how big I am in the podcast game. - Yeah. I mean, there's evidence. There's evidence everywhere in this room about how big you are. - Sometimes I watch the clip of "Avengers" when they all assemble at the end of "Endgame." And when it was in the theaters. You know what I'm talking about? There's tons of these clips where people like are losing their fucking mind. - You want people to see "Avengers" "Endgame"? - No, I'm saying the clip of people in the theaters where they're all gassed up. 'Cause like, you know, Captain America grabbed the hammer. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Or like, you know. Or peed on Iron Man's leg. I don't know what happened. I don't remember the movie, but I assume something like that happened. - You know, the- - I don't know why. - And then he turned the camera and he goes, "When you gotta go, you gotta go." And then cut to black. "Directed by the Russo brothers." Probably the Russo brothers. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Wait, have you not seen these movies? - I haven't seen "Endgame" no. - You guys, at least in your earlier days, did a lot of genre parody. - Yeah. - Which only comes from seeing things and recognizing the patterns in them. I think that's very analogous to the sincerity conversation I'm having. Like, oh, this is how you be sincere. I've seen people, I really appreciate. Oh, do me a favor. Will you say hi to your family for me? - Yeah. - How is everybody? - Yeah. - Everybody good? How's your family? - Okay, for that, and I know this is a tangent slightly, like, but when you say that and you say like, oh, give him a hug for me, right? My twist on that is kiss him on the butthole for me. Nobody ever does it. But like, but when you say, give him a hug for me, don't you kind of want them to do it? Nobody ever does it. - When somebody says, I've said this on my podcast before, when somebody says, tell such and such, I say, hello. - Yeah. - First of all, I say, well, you gotta give me a name first. No, but when somebody says that, I say, if I remember. - Yeah. - Like my mom will say, oh, tell, you know, Dave, I'll say hello. - Yeah, I will if I remember. - If I remember. - Yeah. - I don't know if I'll remember. And if I do remember. - Yeah. - Oh, my mom said to say hello. I don't want to have to say it back. - Can I tell you something? - No. No. - Okay, fine. - That's like asking, could I use your bathroom? - That's fair. Paul Rudd, who was severely injured by you, I realize now, told me to tell you, to give you a hug. So I would like to, right now. - I've been under the weather, and I think it's best to keep a little bit of distance unless I'm putting a pillow behind your back. - Okay. - But do me a favor, next time you see him, kiss him on the butthole for me. - You got it. Rick. - Will you tell me when you're doing songs, like "I Just Had Sex." - I love that no matter what you say, it's embarrassing. Literally, you could pick any one of our songs. And I'd be embarrassed by the title. And I was embarrassed by that one. - Tell me more, but be like, make sure you tell me, it takes at least a minute, like be detailed. And you can take a second to really check it unless you already know the answer. - Okay. Wait, what was the question? - Why you get embarrassed when I bring stuff up? - Oh, oh. And you want me to be sincere? - A hundred percent. - Okay. - Think about it. - It's not even a question. If you made a song called "I Just Had Sex" and I was like, when you made "I Just Had Sex," you don't think you'd be embarrassed? - I'm not judging that you shouldn't be embarrassed. - Oh, okay. - I'm asking that embarrassment is- - Check in with that embarrassment. - Yeah, is it like, I'm embarrassed that I made that and I'm past it? Is it that it's so silly? What are people gonna think? I mean, 'cause it's- - No, no, no, no, no, no. As a comedian, right? Technically- - Well, drama too, but yeah, I understand. - Yeah, yeah. That's for drama? - Yeah. - Can I give you a critique on these guys? - The other stuff. - Okay. So, I gotta get back into sincere, sincere, sincere. As a comedian, doing comedy, I'll say, right? Saying comedian is a little, it's like saying you're an artist or something. But like, as a- - I am. - Okay. Okay. Wait, let me do that again to this one. - He was the first one. But keep the second one in, and the third just bleep him. - I feel like a bleep should be like a digital bleep, right? Like a- - From SNL. - All right. - Yeah. You're saying with the bars and tone. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Over my face. - Yeah. - Yeah, okay, good. And then when I'm adjusting, could you do it over my whole body? - Buddy, you gotta tell them about the embarrassment stuff, or we're gonna forget. - Okay, all right, all right. So, in comedy, first idea stuff- - And art. - Is slightly embarrassing to me, right? You want it to be like there's like an add-on or something like that. And saying things like, "Jizz in my pants, dick in a box." - "I just had sex." - "I just had sex." All of those sound like your first idea. I do think that they're become better than that, maybe. Some of them, it's the first idea, and you're beating it into the ground, and that's why it's funny. - Uh-huh. - But they all sound like first idea things, which I'm always like, whenever I see a first idea, like that you didn't then enhance in some way, or make it more surprising than what is in the title. I have the same thing with like, scripts that I'm sent. When I'm like, I'm not gonna name names, but like, if you're like, "Joke is in the title." Then I'm like, "Well, what am I even doing here?" You know what I mean? Like, what's the point? - Huh. - Does that- - Yeah, it makes sense. - Yeah. You disagree though. See, I grew up in an era, late Gen X stuff, read people's faces, very in tune. So when you gave me that facial, cut back to the facial, what he did. - Yeah. - If you're like, "Joke is in the title." Then I'm like, "Well, what am I even doing here?" - And we're back. And that- - I'm so excited about that one. - What you were reading- - I can't, I can't. - Was- - Rick. - You're my new best friend. - Well, I don't, I'm gonna go back. We all have friends in this business. I do stuff. I want to just be honest with you. - Yeah. - I have friends that are showrunners on big shows that I love. I never ask to be in something. That's not how it works. - Sure. - If- - I do. - Do you really? - Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But it's all voiceover stuff. Where I say, "Let me do voiceover as a demo." You'll get demo-itis. You won't be able to like, see it any other way. And then I have a job in a, that's how I got in Spiderverse. - Well, then allow me to ask you, but I'm not going to ask something that big. - Yeah. - I started doing background work. I love doing background work. I have highlights of things I've done background work. And I've had people on where I've like, "Hey, 10 years ago, I did background on this." - Yeah. - Especially if you're ever making anything in LA. And if you remember- - For sure. - I want to be around what you make. I'm such a fan of yours. So I, it's the joke of getting background footage and being there. I'm not even- - Would you ever do, mostly when I'm shooting in LA, it's a commercial. Would you do commercial? - A hundred. - In fact, I would love if given the opportunity, if when you do one, if I could actually direct it with you. - Yes, that would be great. - Great. that before which i've only co-directed a commercial it was a bud light commercial for the mayor of bud light town or something like that the real one uh yeah oh the real guy the real mayor they tried to make it into like a real town somewhere i think it was like one of those like real concept-y things where you're like i don't know man um but you know like we're doing well kid rock likes bud light right i don't remember but it was something like that and like and cut to the clip of uh kid rock shooting the bud light cans and we're back um just encino man and but and uh but i direct i co-directed with uh jason walner who you should have on if you haven't had him well i'll tell you this much we'll put up his instagram right now he is hilarious he also wears suits on sets with i really like i mean we were like two little shrimpy little shrimp guys right behind the camera yeah and then when the bud light agency people would come over and talk to us we'd be like we'd be like like they'd be like well can he do one more and we would be like is that what inspired the beginning or is that because again i know you didn't write the movie but the beginning of of when they were doing the the the mobile commercial i did write that part of it we went a little higher and his annoyance with with network yes and and uh well that was that was one of the things that was actually really nice about working with nick and brian because we've been through the wars together on snl stuff they were after my time but like but uh but you know they're comedy guys so like they were very generous with their script and so like rewriting things and was they were very generous that's fun it felt it felt inside but it felt inside to a point where even if you don't do that you get it oh that was verbatim a verizon commercial that i was like you're like you're like we're gonna hold it we're gonna have a pickup of it and you're like just again it's a cutaway it doesn't matter it's like it's gonna be a cutaway like yeah but here i'm not working now yeah so background on anything absolutely well i also think that you would be good to uh i mean you were selling this stuff anything whatever this is anything you're clearly versed well-versed i mean hey if you're gonna if you can say it indoors you can say it in the store yeah yeah so if it's outdoors well i just mean like you're doing it on the pod why not do it on the other part if there's something where that's the case great but i'm just i'm being sincere if you know because who knows what you're doing if i'm right for or whatever and if you really want me to co-direct it and i want to help me get in the business by directing commercials with you i'll give you all the money back it's i'll give you all the money back it's fine okay um uh i would love to do background on stuff that you're in and doing okay great so that's easy to do yeah i would ask of you yeah and i'll ask then it has to make sense okay if i could do background the way that people do background when you don't want them to do back around but i'll do it i'll do it right subtly wrong yes yes do you ever have to instruct people to stop cheersing i'm not not what i thought you were gonna say what were you gonna say what did you think no there's so many but i will say you're not really supposed to talk to background as a director which i never quite understand that immediately if they become a principal then the you have to pay them more right cha-ching yeah yes and uh and so i but i have had group talks where i'm talking to a big group of people we're about to get individual like like little cutaways of people and i will say guys if you want to be in this and i know everyone wants to actually be on camera do almost zero like like in comedy if you're just yeah yeah that doesn't but but if you just shift your eyes like it's it's usually that the way i'm using it is that some dumb ass maybe it's mcgruber maybe it's vicky like maybe like whatever like in that scenario is making a fool of themselves and if someone just shift their like does zero with their face stares or moves their eyes one direction or another fucking gold immediately hilarious because you believe there's no reaction well there's no there's no comedy unless there's judgment right so like so eleanor roosevelt that's right that's i that i'm surprised you picked up on that there is no comedy without judgment that's right well i'm gonna be bigger than that and then you don't use it but let me get the let me get it can i say something that's slightly add yes you got great teeth oh thanks man yeah you know my top row is good my bottom row is a bit jumbled but that's personality um go on no your bottom row has personality the top is like zero oh but put them together it's like chris hemsworth you yes isn't it wild how funny he is i want to work with him i want to work with chris hemsworth so i'm gonna take that back strongly disagree no what i'm saying is he's hot on top but he has character underneath that hey man he's hot on top yeah but he has character underneath that oh so you're being complimentary let me take that back i agree with that i like crims hemsworth whatever this is fucking it's interesting you're not the best actor and i never knew that you i guess you could edit before you met me you thought i was the best actor no but i didn't think you were bad i didn't and i don't think you're bad but i wouldn't be surprised if you were okay do you think if you're a better actor you would want to put your you don't even want to put yourself in stuff do you ever think of it that way like you're not good enough to put yourself in it because you care about the project which is good i did i did feel that way about girls because it had like adam driver and fucking you know i don't know i don't know i don't know adam driver is someone who i'd love to get on this podcast i'll get you chris hemsworth if you get me adam driver okay or at least adam's driver add a little bing on that i hope we already had it buddy you should check out this podcast bing have you ever done a commercial for them have you ever done a commercial for bing bing isn't bing still a thing they would have been if you did better ads that's so you've seen any of the ads i've like have i showed you that i'm gonna show i don't know you i just met you i haven't i don't know and if i've seen it i probably i didn't know it was yours yeah i want to i want to i want to i'm just going to tell how it is tell it like it is you're getting into the manosphere i would have canceled listen to me man sorry fuck sorry sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i meant it when i scolded you just now and i'm not ashamed of it but i think it was good do you ever have to do that as a director yeah do you have to scold people like do you is there a certain tact that you use being a funny person where you could get away with being more direct yes i will say like directing things like parks and rec or like like when everyone's funny and everyone's kind of a friend it is you definitely kind of feel a little bit like a friend of yours right and at certain points are like guys like guys like i especially like big bullpen scenes or like or like it has eight people it's like a z's like like they're all funny fucking people and and also they're so good at that show it's sort of second nature they can shoot episodes in four days which is crazy and so you have these moments where you're like you're all joking around and you're and you're in it with them like oh yeah there's another thing and then you're like okay like but lunch is coming up so like guys like like yes please like can we actually focus for what if you don't know them or they don't know you like what if you don't have a personal relationship with them uh i mean that's that's harder because i will say like uh okay uh shooting a mcgruber tv series which we all saw because it was on peacock and you know i watched and once you scrolled past the home screen and you found it like low because you knew what you were looking did it not do well then you find out why you're making this show yeah thank you yeah uh because clips were all over the place are we yeah yeah okay great but like that i'm not gonna have that problem with like lawrence fishburne like he's focused like i'm not like can i tell you my lawrence fishburne like my favorite moment did you do like one of the matrix no he was in he didn't see the show he's in i did see the show okay did he yeah you weigh in on the comments did he i don't think so tim robinson i don't think so oh you are so add just today i used to date you you did i had a girlfriend that was did it work out no that wasn't the reason though okay um she wasn't the kindest you seem kind oh thanks uh lawrence fishburne we're shooting a scene it's super late at night uh lightning strikes are going off which means that you have to wait like half an hour because the cranes have to come down and all that sort of stuff oh i thought you're saying lightning was like not doing it anymore oh i think i think you meant like that oh right right right like like the magic wasn't happening that's no like it was lightning was striking i interrupted for a bad joke i'm fine we but i have add anyway uh the tell me a different story a different lawrence no no it's good it's good this is good and and uh so but i was like i was like we're waiting lawrence is on his phone and i was like i was like uh just for the fun of it i was like i was like lawrence uh you ever get nervous he was like looking at his phone he's just like about what i was like never mind was he being funny no No, he was being sincere. You've had a real runner about sincerity in this. Why were you asking him that? Just staving off the sadness and depression. Are you depressed with your family? I'm depressed without my family. Right. I'm asking you so when you're with them, you're not depressed. Oh, no. I will say that when you have a family, though, and you do get depressed, because we all do, like the depression doesn't exclude families. It feels more depressing in the same way that when you went outside and you had the cold and you were so depressed when you saw the sunshine. It wasn't it. It was just because it's hot and I was wearing a sweater. When I'm not feeling well, I think I don't want to go outside. I think I don't want to take a shower. I just want to stay there. But I tell myself, remember, when you do that, you feel better. Right. And I almost always do. That's good. That's good advice. Thanks. You seem more sincere because you're not wearing headphones. I feel like I seem more insincere. Let's switch. Okay. That's better. That's better. That's better. So why are you so sad? Because I don't take showers. Now you're not being sincere. The game was that you were going to be more sincere because you took your headphones off. And I was going to be less sincere because I put them on. Why am I so sad? I had another joke. I was going to say I need to go up to 20 megs. Are you saying how often you watch Family Guy? You're saying does Family Guy make you feel better? I wasn't saying that. Is it a serotonin inhibitor or prohibitor? Lexapro. Lexapro? Yeah. What's your drug of choice? Weed. A few days a week. And Magic Mind. I don't take, I don't medicate since I was a kid. Really? Yeah. When I was a kid, I was on some stuff and I didn't like it. And I remember, and I was surprised. I remember I told my mom, I don't want to take this anymore. One time I said it. She goes, then don't. And I went, I remember thinking like, oh, if it was only that easy for me to stay in Taekwondo. Where'd you grow up? Cleveland. Oh, right. Why'd you say all right? Did we talk about this? Andre Highland. Isn't he from Cleveland? No, I don't know. He's a comedian. He's a very, very funny guy. Well, I believe he's from Cleveland. Well, unlike a lot of people's belief, I don't think that. Oh, LeBron James. I was thinking of LeBron James. Let me do it. Let me just do what I was going to do. Oh, timing's gone. I was going to, I'm going to pitch it to you instead of doing it now. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. What's his name? LeBron James. Oh, Andre Highland's from Cleveland. He's a comedian? Yes. He's a comedian. Very good. Unlike what a lot of people believe with comedians, I don't, being funny, I don't think there could only be one. That's great. That was good. Because of Highlander. And Karen Gillan, Nick's wife, co-producer of your movie. Yes. Is in Highlander. Yes. Also, did you see in the credits that when I party, I fuck like this song? She sang it. Yeah. It's pretty cool. It's really cool. We made her into a recording artist. A successful recording artist. You got to watch my buddy George Krikus sing Tom Waits' I Don't Want to Grow Up. Okay. In fact, I have him on the balcony. He's here? Yeah. Oh, great. Can we do it? Fuck yeah. George is actually, I contacted him. He is, I thought he was on the balcony. It turns out he's in Utah. Oh. So we can't make that happen. Rats. But it's. Is Tom Waits with him? Always. But I want to send it to you. It's really, it's like, it's such a good performance and arrangement. I often, I've had a lot of musicians on my podcast. I love doing music stuff. Yeah. And I will go and watch clips of people's performances on here. I'm so in love with them. Yeah. And that's when I watch over and over again. Is that on Spotify or any screen? You know, I'm actually just now thinking, it's just on YouTube. And I mean, just the podcasts, but no, not the individual songs. I'm just thinking, I've done so much cool music on this podcast. I want to catalog it all and do a Taiso album with all this stuff. I mean, like I've had such great musicians and such great cover songs and original songs, like funny stuff, great, cool stuff. Yeah. It's a bit of a feat, but I think I want to go through and do that. God, I would love to make an original song for you. What does that mean? Because I'm now getting like really excited. You mean like. Do you have like a segment that. Do you have a segment that I could do like a little mock-up-y kind of song for you later? Like the. How does that. Like throw to. I don't know. You're saying you do it and then we cut to it in this episode or you come back on and perform it? No, I meant like I would just send you the audio. Yeah. Okay, good. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. Okay. I mean, yeah, do that. What does that mean? What kind of song? I don't know yet. What's the segment? You're saying like a jingle. Yeah. Kind of. It would be short. Oh, got it. Not as fun. You know what? I'm going to. Pass. Are you familiar with. I'm going to say no, but that's really sweet. Are you familiar with Mr. Macintosh from the movie Blank Check? I've never seen Blank Check. What got you into comedy? Heavy weights. Well, I would like to have this be something I could fill in later. Okay. And there are moments that come up. My cousin, Teddy, he does jingles. He did it for a living for a while. And he does jingles for me. Sometimes I ask for that. I would like, when I have something, to be able to call upon you and say, hey, the turnaround would be. 10 minutes. No, I mean, you'd have at least a few days, if not a couple weeks. Yeah, okay. Yeah, sure. And if you can't or don't want to, don't. I'll try to do at least three. As in three options or you want three different things? Just three jingles. Yeah, I would love to do an episode of something where we have segments. Yeah. And we just listen to the jingle that doesn't yet exist. Yeah. And then. They'll be good. Dude. And is the commercial thing real? Could I come and do background or something with you? Yeah, for sure. Oh, for sure, for sure. Yes. I was going to say something before. I think it was when I yelled at you. This is one of these moments. Do you always do the cheers thing? Like, is that like a prerequisite though? No, I notice it all the time. Okay. All the time. Yeah. And you want to be that guy. It doesn't have to be cheers. That's just kind of like a placeholder for. Yeah. I don't know what it. It depends on what the thing is. I feel like I could be a value add for a background person. Yeah. To where it's not just. I think that's my skill set. I wish. Being funny in the background. If you were going to code direct with me, I wish that you could be the guy that handles the background. It would be great. And by the way, that's a big job. They're literally called handlers. It's like I would say it's one of the more important jobs. And it's usually. It's the first AD that does that. Yeah. Yeah. Then let me first AD just with back. Let me just be the background guy. Whatever it is, because we say stuff and it's fun and talking. This is. And I have no expectations of anything. But this is a moment where like. I don't remember if I said it or I was almost saying it. But if this were somebody else, I probably would have canceled this episode because I don't feel like I'm my best self today. I was up until five o'clock in the morning. But that's. Isn't that sort of. Isn't that sort of insulting though? That you would have normally canceled this? I don't know if we're not on the same page. I'm saying if you weren't my guest. Yeah. Insulting to whom? Me. That's a compliment to you. Oh, it's a compliment. Because you thought it would be good anyway. What I'm saying is I've been so excited that you're coming on this podcast. Oh, great. Okay. That's better. Where I'm like, I can't. I think you meant that like if it had been anyone you respected, you would have definitely canceled. No, no, no. No. Okay. No, what I'm saying is like, this is an opportunity to meet you and to play with you and ask you questions and to talk with you that like, hey man, you've been tired. Just be tired. Be a little sick. Yeah. Talk to the guy. Yeah. And I was stressing last night too because I wanted to get sleep. I haven't. Whatever. It doesn't matter. What I'm saying is like. Right. And now here we are. Because not canceling, I might be able to be background in a Verizon commercial or even co-direct one and I'll give you the money back. Yeah. But I do want the credit because I want to get in the DGA. Yeah. To make it. This is what. You're doing the dream stuff. Yeah. You're directing stuff that you want to do and then to make real money, you're directing stuff that has quick turnaround. You don't have to be away from your family too long. Well, I can. You know, I am represented by a company named Caviar. Who is also like. Like the fish egg? Yes, exactly. It's called Caviar. It was originally called Caviar Content. There's a lot of really good directors. Jason Walner, Jonathan Kreisel. There's like a bunch of. There's a big two. A stable of people is. Great. I'm not including myself, but there's just great people. But I think I should talk to them about you. Maybe. And this is just off. We don't have to put this in the pod part of it. Well, but I think this is great because then there's gonna be tons of people. Oh, proof. Who are gonna be like. Like, hey guys, go make sure to go check out this commercial. You know how people promote their movies? Yes. I could promote the commercials bringing tons of people to the brands. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Totally. Totally. Okay. I have another question for you. Don't you think that like the crossover. Because I. I have the same thing. Like you make like a movie that people like or like a short that people like, a podcast that. people like that then saying like hey do you want to parlay that into selling shit for verizon maybe that is not the same thing like people come on your podcast because they've seen like they're like hey i like this and then they're not like immediately like oh you know what i like phones too i think you're crazy okay i think you're fucking nuts man thanks people who listen to your podcast right do you do verizon commercials no oh what do you do uh like um boost mobile no no is that ryan reynolds he probably oh no what is his cricket no i don't know what it's called what's his a bunch of random shit i have like another uh no we don't do any like cell phone stuff we have like uh uh like meat ads and things like that viore viore yeah we do viore yeah now what is viore viore is a really put me on the spot man how would you work out attire basically and i do own viore stuff now what if i'm what if i'm somebody who doesn't like working out do you think i could still wear it oh 100 they have four-way fabric stretch which is good what if i'm somebody who's been working on a whole bunch like is that something we're like no i'm way past that no absolutely not so you're telling me people who are just starting out to pros like arnold or john cena i know for a fact that both of those guys wear viore well it's got to be super expensive and hard to get uh it's one of those brands that's probably exclusive for people like that no absolutely it's like it's affordable more sincere oh sorry uh rick no it's it's really affordable like uh uh check out their website i'm gonna check it out dot com it's v u o r i v what v u o r i v u o r i v u o r i and comment spelled c c o m yeah uh this shit looks awesome yeah whoa and look how hot this chick is well do you know her that's not push it on that do you know her so when i get do you come with a car is that about her or me that's from the simpsons i think there was a car model and uh people kept going up to her they think they're being smart do you come with the car and then the next guy goes do you come with the car and she has to keep laughing at it because of the patriarchy yeah that's true speaking of back to the future they're all yellow which was an insult in that movie and back to the future three that that they're all yellow oh jesus which i think is racist but everyone will say oh you shouldn't say nips or you should say it dude i would viori if you go to viori.com slash ty so you can get 10 off is that true no but maybe when they see this i think there's two types of commercials you could do yeah you could do commercials where you do the commercial and you do it your way sure and those commercials where you get to collaborate and you get to make a funny commercial that they are happy with well we've talked about this on our podcast but we made a doritos commercial that i i talked about on the podcast that that uh we made it for the superbowl it was for crash the superbowl we were hosting crash the superbowl we made an ad and then it they tested the ad and it tested worse than anything that had ever tested uh and people were insulted by it and then um but then i would send them videos of like will or net watching it like doubled over like oh my god like and i was like are you sure like that's a guy from reese's right uh he's a gmc well or net does the voice of gmc he does reese's too oh yeah yeah yeah he's very good it's very good so they can't tell which is which is good i don't know if we were putting them on blast on this i mean i i only know that oh talk about clickbait this is clickbait our net's the voice of gmc guys the doritos commercial correct me if i'm wrong but isn't that their motto that you can't submit just one yes i'm telling you bring me to sat dude i'll bother you you can do this on set like yeah you think you're gonna be you don't think you'll be nervous and then be like i don't know what to i'll tell you why i don't okay because i know i might be wrong your daughter might not be funnier than jim carrey he is but in her mind she knows she is and i might be wrong but and i know that yeah i'm built for tough do you ever do ford commercials no i'm not allowed to do any of the commercials like the uh and no no car thing is a whole different ball game you gotta be a car guy to do that is that true yes what does that mean like it's a lot of like crane shit and da da da and like and i like you basically you know how hollywood is if you haven't done it before no one's gonna trust you but you know what well then why is caviar content gonna let me on there because you're a funny guy but i haven't done official commercials although i do get people all the time saying glassman's commercials ad breaks are the only ones i watch there you go that's it well that's i mean you make a good commercial do you remember that commercial where van damme practically did the splits on two moving trucks no but and then i'll let you go if you want i'll hold you hostage i think this is so cool that you're here man the van i mean this is a compliment but you don't seem like the type of guy who's gonna call you bruh i think and i mean that as a compliment i do but i thought it was cool that you said it van damme um splits truck it's crazy what you could google google's a great search engine okay check this out all right this is real this isn't this is really done me but i am today no i still stand here before you what you see it's a body crafted to perfection the car or him engineer to defy the laws of physics and a mindset to master the most epic of splits i hope he chose the song i heard they played it while he was doing it fuck bro right yeah well i i'm more impressed with the truck driving like that's the hard part yeah the driving is incredible the driving is incredible i saw behind the scenes something about how incredible the driving is or something i'm like oh yeah yeah um shout out to bianca van damme his daughter by the way beautiful okay very kind as well i thought her name was sheila too i don't know but she's she's um she uh uh she's an actress as well did you have her on no but we've become friendly really yeah maybe i should have her on the pod bianca van damme yeah i and uh do you remember uh banaka like it was banaka i think for you the stuff you that jim carrey sprays the wrong way the beginning of dumb and dumber you have a great snap do it again you put a mustache on your face oh it's gonna snap and you can take it off okay you have a great i noticed before you did this the leg snap yeah it's better on this side i think so you use these fingers i do yeah do you know where the sound comes from on a snap it's the your little meaty part it's yeah it's did you know that it's the it's the finger hitting this yeah weird it's similar why not just do that well you can't do it it's about kinetic energy and how much is being stored before being released like revving your engine when a dog shakes its head and it goes that's the ears hitting them why did they do that dogs yeah funny oh you know dog is the only word god spells backwards that's right bianca van damme um yeah cheersing during background work i'm trying to think what to put in the description of things we talk about oh gotcha i thought you were saying things that you brought to a set of a commercial oh well invite us and that's why what do i have a better chance of being a co-director yeah on one of your commercials or your first guest on your podcast i think co-director nice uh but i'm always like of the mind that like well people will be cool with that but they weren't cool with the doritos commercials so like well i know you know i mean yeah but i would definitely suggest it like for sure next next thing i got i mean last thing thing i did was a walmart commercial what was it was it funny do you get to do do you ever get to write them i got to add stuff there was it was a stephanie beatrice uh commercial and uh i added like a weird puppet to it i didn't get to add like that much stuff to it but i had them build a weird puppet who was coming out and the puppets weird or having a puppet is weird it was apropos of nothing that there was a puppet in it um and then i got to do the voice of the puppet and i don't know if it actually made the final cut of this uh commercial i did could i see like an example can i see like an example can i see like an example walmart's got more products than that other name brand i'm not gonna say it they're the best check out walmart.com for deals deals deals walmart is the best better than all the rest fuck jeff bezos yeah i kind of messed up the voice a little bit do you want to try it again or i think we i think i think that was pretty good yeah um kind of full circle to we're talking about my raspy voice like clint eastwood about my raspy voice like clint eastwood and saying only liking to do one take i and saying only liking to do one take i think we got it think we got it which is the opposite of you thinking the which is the opposite of you thinking the first take is first take is i just realized that amazon international is promoting my movie, so I take that back about the Jeff Bezos thing. Sorry, Jeff. Love you, babe. Love you, Jeff. How old are you? I just turned 49. Happy birthday. Thanks, man. Oh, easy, easy. Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. He's a really good puppet. Yeah. Dude, that's. I know puppets. That's like a fucking 20 grand puppet right there. It's. It was. Somebody made that for you. Yeah, it was made for a TV show I was on, and I kept it. And I now. It's really good. My special, I'm working on a. Could you. Could we just fix just. You don't have to go too crazy. Yeah, you want your thing to look good. So, I think my special, I'm a. I use a puppet on stage, and I think the name of my special is going to be. Is that sincere? Mm-hmm. Well, I think that's great. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you very much. That's my impression of Elvis in Saturday Night Live said it wasn't good enough. Unreal. I'm so sorry. It's all right. I once had a manager, and when I first moved out here, and they said that I should submit to Saturday Night Live because that's what comedians do, and I'm like, that's not my. Well, I'm an artist, and I don't really do voices, and. Sure. But I did one, and I made a reel. Yeah, I did too. Do you have yours? Yeah, it's not great. Will you send it to me and let me put it in? Yeah, sure. Nice. Well, I'll put some of my characters in and put some of your characters in, and people in the comments, they should guess who is like. Who's who? Yeah, like what's mine and what's yours. Okay. You mean like they're going to look at video and then guess which is which? Yeah, but for the audio-only people, maybe they'll go to YouTube and type it in before watching. Okay. When you got SNL, it was the three of you. Yeah. Right? Well, for clarification, I didn't get on SNL. I was a writer on SNL. Yeah, that's SNL. I know, I know, but we were just talking about auditions, and I was trying to get on SNL, and I didn't. Pardon me. I don't know. I think I'm feeling a little bit defensive because a couple times you don't believe me. I know that. I told you. I think you're a bad actor. But I wasn't talking about you knowing it. I was talking about your audience. I just, for clarification, I didn't want them to get twisted. I believed you. Yorma and Akiva were never proper actors, although they did act in the digital shorts. Correct. And the ambiguously gay duo. Didn't you do some of those too? That was before your time, but didn't you bring those back? No. I feel like there was something that you guys did with ambiguously gay duo once. No. You sure? Yeah. Because those were like the digital shorts before you guys. Yeah. The Smigel ones. Well, Smigel also made shorts while we were on the show too. I can't remember which. I think he did Dora the Explorer one and then he did some other shows. What one guy's got, what was it? The first one or was it the first one that did well was with the Chris Parnell Sunday, Lazy Sunday. Was that the first one? That was the first like big, big one. But it wasn't the first one you guys did. That's when digital shorts became a thing. We did two before that. One of them aired. Which? And then it was called Lettuce. And it was like two guys having a dramatic conversation. Like Mel Robbins? They're just having a dramatic conversation while eating heads of lettuce. And it was one that Will Forte wrote. So we did that and then Forte wrote another one. I believe like that was called Peyote. That aired after Lazy Sunday. So Lazy Sunday was the second one to air and Lazy Sunday was the first time I ever heard of YouTube. It was right after that. Because it was on YouTube. We invented YouTube. Was it because it was on YouTube? Yes. This was probably, somebody put it on YouTube and then. 2004 probably? Yeah, exactly. Tail end of 2004. Yeah, wild, man. Wow. And now YouTube's defunct. No, it's bigger than like television networks. It's massive. Oh. Well, all right. That's good. Speaking of sincere, when you started to get to know Will Forte, were you already a fan of his? Yes. I was a massive fan of Will Forte. Were you surprised at how sincere he is? Yeah. Forte's so his own person the minute you meet him that like you get who he is within seconds. So no. No, because he like overwhelms you with sincerity the minute you meet him. Has he been on this show? Yeah, I did a movie with him. He's fucking great. And. I'm sorry, I didn't know that. It's okay. It's called A Futile and Stupid Gesture. It was the story of the origins of the National Lampoon. Yeah. And we became buddies. David Wayne. Yeah. Yeah. Also now, dude, this pod, this is so fucking cool. I've become friends with David Wayne, Forte. I'm going to say I've become friends with you. I think so. Yeah. This is wild, man. You're very good. I'd like, this has been one of the most enjoyable podcasts I've ever been on. Will Forte. And I was just on Chris Jericho's podcast. So that. Now, he's too strong to wear velour? Viore? Is he? That's the thing, Rick. He's not. Anybody can wear it. More sincere. Oh, fuck. Well, hold on. Hey, try it for real. Okay. Like, for real. Okay. As if. Okay. Okay, ready? He's probably, like, he wouldn't fit in viore, right? Oh, no, no, no. He was actually wearing viore, viore. One more time. Go ahead. He's probably too strong for viore. You have to say viore. It's Italian? Yes, it's Italian. No, you're being fake. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. Okay. You're right. Take Chris Jericho. Take it back from Will Forte wrote The Lettuce Thing. What? No, that's way. Okay. Okay. Chris Jericho is probably somebody that's too strong to wear viore. No, absolutely not. In fact, he was wearing these viore shorts when I saw him. Really? Yep. Did he do one of the commercials with you guys? No, he doesn't. He's just a fan of viore? He likes viore so much that he actually refuses to do the ads because he feels like that'll actually taint his experience. Pun intended. Because the taint? Yeah, shorts taint. Yeah, I got it. Experience. Yeah, yeah. The way you said he loved the company so much reminded me of in UHF when they're. Specialist City where the guy's just like, I love the company so much. I bought the whole company over there. I bought the company. Yeah. That's also one of the best takes ever with the with the smacking head. Okay, kids. Into the car. I. Honey, where's the spatula? Right, right, right, right. Why didn't he make more movies? It's so fucking good. A lot of people don't know that movie. That's fucking crazy. And you know a lot of things. Have you seen it? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was like one of the first movies I showed my kids to be like, look, comedy can be funny. Whenever anybody talks about or I see Red Snapper, I always think, ah, Red Snapper, very tasty. That one's great. And then there's a joke that is one of my favorites where they're passing. It's a panning by. There's the homeless guy with the blind guy and the blind guy is moving. He's moving a Rubik's Cube and he's showing it to the guy he's. Nope. Is this it? Nope. Is this it? Nope. I haven't seen the movie since I was a kid. I should rewatch it. So good. I still remember so many things from it for some reason. It's because every beat of it is like the weirdest thing you've ever seen. Like even his like, Terry! Ah! That was Michael Richards before Kramer. Yeah. And everything turned out great. You're saying Seinfeld was a big hit. Seinfeld turned out massive and then everything was fine after that. Do you think he'll come back? He's really funny. He's a really funny guy. So I. Do you know him? No. But I mean like I'll. You'll watch his stuff. My mop! I mean fucking. You get a drink from the fire hose! Please CEO HF guys if you haven't. It's fucking amazing. All this. All this. The Stallone stuff he does with the mop. You get to drink from the hot fire hose. Oh, it's great. It's so great. You've had Weird Al on this podcast. No. Really? No. Oh. The closest I've ever gotten to Weird Al I do have on camera though is what? Has anyone listened to his podcast? What are you doing, dude? Pretty big deal. It's a pretty big deal. Could you see if Weird Al would do it? I think Weird Al would do it. He seems like. I don't know. What do you guys think? So. You know what you. This is going to require so much effort. So much editing. Buddy, welcome to Take Your Shoes Off. Okay. Hey, you know what? While I'm pitching me, if you ever need an editor, our editor, John Michael, is a fucking whiz. And you'll know it if you start watching some of this. But if you ever. You do lots of projects, you're behind, you need a little bit of help. Yeah. Sometimes people need editors. What is his name again? John Michael. John Michael, thanks for doing this. Yeah. Tiffany Haddish does this bit where she like turns the camera and goes, Hey, Mr. Editor. I hope you're having a good time in there. And it's very. Like Marilyn Monroe? Yeah, it's kind of Marilyn Monroe. It's a little Marilyn Monroe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't do it as sexy as she does it, but you know. What have you worked with Tiffany Haddish on? Girl Strip? Did you direct Girl Strip? I wish. Am I right? No, I did the show The Last OG. Oh, with Tracy Jordan. Morgan. Morgan. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I have to look at people. It's very similar to their characters. Will Smith from Fresh Prince. I just call him Will Smith. - Oh, I thought you were pointing at this. That is the statue that Will's father, that Will got for his father. This is what Will Smith got for his father. Yeah, when he goes, I learned how to drive without him. I learned how to shoot hoops without him. I got pretty damn good too, didn't I? I learned how to drive without him. I learned how to shave without him. I have 14 birthdays. He never sent me a car to hell with him. That's really good. And then they push it on the statue. How'd you get it? I had Will Smith on my podcast. Really? Before it was even a podcast. I never aired it. Or I should say, I haven't aired it yet. I'll explain. This was 2019. Long story short, when I was in college, Kent State, I almost bowled a perfect game. Ten strikes in a row. I was two away from a perfect game. Will Smith was there. I don't know what he was doing there. He wasn't there for LeBron. But there was something going on that they were filming or making. I don't know. But Will Smith was there and watched toward the end of it. And I didn't get to talk to him. I saw him. I thought, I'm bowling. And then I'll talk to him after. And then he left. Years later, I saw him at an agency. And I was like, hey, dude, I'm the guy that almost bowled the perfect game at Kent. And he remembered. And I was, we were filming something and I had cameras and I was wanting to do a podcast. I asked. So we did something. It's maybe 20 minutes. He had to go, blah, blah, blah, blah. We were going to then do a part two. Yeah. And he got busy and blah, blah, blah. You know, got busy. I mean, like, it was tough to get in touch with him. Anyway, long story short, I have this podcast and we're going to do a second part. And I've been waiting to air the first part until I get, and I still like, I'm not in touch with him. But like, it's been seven years now. And I want to like, pick up where we left off and I'm waiting to post the full thing once I have it. That's great. I wish you like, halfway through this episode would just run that. What do you mean? That whatever you have of like that footage, I would like to see that. And I feel like that's the only way I'll get to see it. I'll show it to you. Okay. But you did just make me think that the way you said, roll that beautiful bean footage. Have you ever done Bush baked beans? A commercial for them? Yes. No. You want me to? I want to direct a beans. I want a beans commercial. Yeah. We can, I mean, we'll put like, the only thing you can do is put it out there. So like Bush baked beans, you're, you can put on notice. Yeah. If you could direct any brand. Yes. That, and they would let you make the creative. However, it has to be something that they would approve. That's hard. That's hard. But they would approve. But it's not, it's not blind. They're like, Hey, we want a comedy. We want like, you know what like Tim and Eric did with, with Old Spice type of stuff. Right. Like we want something silly. It has to be real. I will say I, I've sort of built that into like, like I did all these ads with Beck Bennett. It was like the AT&T. He's talking to a bunch of kids. I don't remember. I remember those were funny. Bigger or smaller. Yeah. And there were ones, we shot so many of them that there were moments that I just started being like, all right, let's cut to anamorphic. And they were like, what? And then we were like, we're shooting a music video. And like, I would, but we did a, there was this song that Aziz was obsessed with by the rapper singer Future from Atlanta. Sure. Called You Deserve It. If you haven't heard it, fantastic song. You know it? You deserve it. You deserve it. And so at one point, I just had this kid start saying that. I'm going, you deserve it. And it just became a music video. I edited it for, and was like, I think it should be this. It's a really good, like, and they did a version of it where it says like, you deserve the fastest service of your life. And they turned, like it made notes that like, it goes into slow motion. It's so weird. It starts like pushing in on the kids and da da. And Future was, approved it. Like he was like, yeah, totally. And this was like his first album. So like, like it was a little, I was like, you're going to be ahead of the curve. This dude's going to be fucking huge. And like, and they're also, the company's from Atlanta. So I was like, God, you gotta do this. And then they got cold feet. They were just a little too scared. I think they were, they were scared to fuck with the format because it was like, they liked the commercials and they didn't want it to be like, now you're manipulating the kids. Do you think they know And Future actually put it on his Instagram at one point. So I was like, he liked it that much. Like without getting paid, I think. I mean, I could ask. So my short answer to that though, is you should do what you want, even if you're getting paid and they don't want it. Eleanor Roosevelt. That's right. I don't know. I mean, it's been a long time. Yeah. Without a dope beat to step to, but I, I want, let me ask you, let me ask you one more thing. And then if you're ever in LA again, and even if you're not promoting something and for whatever reason, you're like, I'd be down to do a podcast. I would love to have you come back on here. I would love it. Do you do weed? I don't remember. I will. If, if, if it's serves the podcast. Great. I love getting high in this podcast. I would love to get high. I feel like I'd be bad at it, but I'll do it. Then we won't post it. Great. Yeah. Then it's just two guys in a room. High on life. Yeah. We can maybe get some clips or something. Yeah. I want to ask about pop star. The amount of people that are in it. Yes. Is maybe more than any movie ever made. It's even more than that. And I still feel bad about this. There are people out. Oh, like Nora Jones was kind enough to do like a, you know, like they're hour long interviews. So it's like, it really takes some time. Wait, you did our interviews with all these people. There's 400 hours of footage. I don't know how many feet of film that is. Wait a minute. Yeah. I mean, I, that's gotta be like a mile at least I would think. Yeah. A normal film is about 120 hours of footage. And a documentary is usually around 400 hours. Yeah. How long did we say that the odyssey is? It's like, it's a thousand miles more than that. I'm going to go P2. Do you have to use the bathroom? Yeah. That was a good time. I'll go. Also, I looked it up. The odyssey is on 400. It's like 2 million feet of film, 400 miles. What does that mean? Like, I mean, how many hours of that's just how much the 70 millimeter film just, there's just that many miles of film. That's how much they shot. Definitely not cut down, but that's just such an excessive amount. Yeah. 400 miles, 2 million feet of film. We'll look up how much 400 hours of footage is on film. But with digital. So wait, do you, do you have all that? But there's like Ed Sheeran. I still feel bad. Ed Sheeran did a interview that we, and played songs like kind of for real songs. Cause he was like all the whole gaffe was like that. We were saying that like everyone's like, I'm a huge fan of Andy's character. Was, was there a tipping point of, cause you guys already had relationships with, you know, a lot of musicians from the music that you did. And I'm sure people that are fans of yours, but at a certain point when you're first doing this, you approach some people that you're closest to. And once they sign on, it's kind of like, Oh, such and such is doing it. I'll do it. Do you remember what the tipping point was of like who? Yes. But there's also people that we couldn't, we couldn't get that we were really excited about. And like, like, like we want to Rihanna couldn't get Rihanna. But tell me about the people that you got. Like what point was someone like, I don't know if they'll do it, but they said yes. And do you know why? No, because I think that that tipping point had maybe already happened because of like things that like that we'd done on the show. Like once you do stuff with Rihanna, Justin Timberlake that like, I'm like, we'd been sort of pre-approved at that point. Like, I think like Kendrick was on at like I had done YOLO before. So like, we'd worked with like, I mean, like there's moments where I even forget that I'm like, Oh yeah, we did some like the hundreds digital short has Justin Timberlake in it. And you're like, fuck. Like, we've, you know, like we've Usher was because we'd done stuff with, you know, Bieber before. Like Usher was like super game to like come, come by. And what did Nas said? Like, like karate boys changed his life or something. Dude. Was that him? When you're as big a fan of like a guy like Nas and then you're making, and then you're behind the camera being like, can you see we influenced you? Like, it's like the biggest like jerk off session. Like it was like, it was so impressive. And you did an hour with him? Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, like ASAP Rocky, like is in it, like, like doing an hour with that guy. You're like, holy shit. Watch him smoke weed on camera. Like this is the best. Is the hour, it's an hour of you interviewing them while they're in character. Is it, is, is a lot of that you pitching things? Oh, it's all pitching. Okay. You have the footage. Yeah, of course. When you're out of digital shorts. Yeah. Can we just run that? No, I'm being serious. Oh, like, like that's unbelievable stuff to have to repurpose. Here's the thing. When you've made a movie and it's for a giant studio. They own it. Yeah. Do you own that footage? I don't think I own that. Own that beautiful bean footage. I understand what you're asking. Yeah. But who gives a shit? Well, that was, I don't. Stick it to the man. Do you have it on your, on your hard drives? We do. Yeah. Yeah. We definitely have a hard drives full of that stuff. Well, you know what else you have? Yeah. Cause you're cooking me if I'm wrong. I heard this. Tell me if this is true. The balls to air it. Before you film that. Yeah. Didn't you meet with these people and do something on your own? Wait, what do you mean? Okay. Oh, sorry. Don't you have the footage? Yeah. That wasn't from the universal movie. That was you. Part of your writing process. Yeah. Filming with these people. Yeah. That inspired you what to actually do. And because we were saying this now on the podcast, it's true. Well, it's true. And we're saying it now on the podcast. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. We did shoot, quite a bit of footage after we had wrapped that we literally like paid friends of ours like 400 bucks to come dp so simon cowell came through we literally that was not shot that at our friend's house so there's how do you get what's what's the process of getting simon cowell to come over you just call text him how'd you have his number i think it was from maybe it was from adam levine maybe i don't know how'd you get and levine's number from working with him on snl yeah yeah he's got a voice uh bing bong bing bong do you ever watch the voice uh yeah and we we got to perform on the voice they were kind enough to have us do i'm so humble uh on the on the voice which is great i got to be in a helmet so that was cool giant helmet very heavy but not that one how do you do it uh do you remember how it goes yeah wait uh play i'm so humble by the lonely island the irony you know it did it you two will flag the hell out of this so just do a second okay because it didn't work too i like i like that just it didn't work yep yep what is it dude that the opening to that movie up towards pop star where his hands are up just all of the all of the the cameos and then the music yeah is i think it's one of the best openings of any comedy should i do it to zoom in on my lips you have to stop it on that you you don't think we can get the rights to play our own song no jesus i don't and even if you did the process of it what are you going to do i'm going to send it to you i'm going to dispute it right and then i'll send it to you and then you're going to contact the publisher publishing company well that's also probably a sample too so then you're you're going to have to do it again and then you're going to have to do it again and then you're going to do it again and then you're going to have to do it again and then you're going to have to do it again you're having to yeah you're right you're right i don't know they're so on top of that shit yeah you too smart you gotta make money how else is the fourth quarter gonna do well i say this a lot on set too on all my commercials let's make sure verizon has a good fourth quarter guys q4 we gotta come in strong you said you never did verizon shareholder commercials i did a verizon commercial yeah oh yeah i have one more question for you before you leave and it's and it's two more the first is a qualifier can i ask you money stuff sure i believe that we should be talking about money okay i think that because we're american and capitalism is great i mean that from a from a place of having information sure what banks are making what who's buying what homes why what people are invested in how much actors are making directors what studios are paying sure i think the gatekeepers that are keeping that stuff uh secret yeah yeah only helps them and hurts hurts people who are who are being paid sure um but i also recognize it's private it's superficial well what's the question okay well i'm gonna start with something simple when you make music videos on youtube yeah they get hundreds of millions of views we have not all of them just two guys didn't get hundreds of millions of views many of them got hundreds of millions of views okay fine you are you who's who who has that youtube do you have that like could you pull up on your phone yes we we we because it's complicated but like but that because those were funded by oftentimes were funded by the record company then technically nbc yes cannot claim that sort of thing so we get and and that stuff is sort of carved out a little bit so yes we get could you go on to your analytics right now no like akiva could i could call him but i want to know yeah how much money we i want you to go to lifetime lifetime i want to see the top few videos yeah what made the most money i want to know what one of those songs but but you know what it is already you can just see which which one has the most views and then you get paid by view right i have no it doesn't it doesn't work no it's not by view it's it's it's ads oh i've have episodes that have more views than others and the small lesser views have made more money because you they're just chalked out what they think people like maybe if it's if it's uh somebody on who loves trucks and we talk about trucks there's gonna be more car commercials maybe car commercials paid more than beauty commercials like it's i don't know gotcha but when i see people who have youtubes like that you gotta have akiva on and then he you can press him and then he'll be too uncomfortable to answer the question oh would you guys ever come on together and get stoned with me akiva maybe not i would and then he'd be able to make fun of both of us then i don't then you know what i'll take his and post i'll take his microphone out the whole time we'll be able to hear some pickup but you and i will know yeah so we could if he's talking we'll just talk over him great and then um this is a great i know also i'll frame it but don't tell him i'll frame him and when it's his shot it'll be like this you know what i'm saying that's great all right cool that's a great idea dude this uh wait that was you had one more question well it was money okay and then and then it was it was uh uh where do you make the majority of your money i got paid more i will tell you i got paid more to make that walmart commercial than i did for over your dead body coming out april 24th i would imagine yeah but what about all the the music is that because you gotta there's so many people involved in that not to mention you're splitting it well i would i'll tell you this we we've recouped on all three of our albums so that's good four of our albums because your your your your your your forward or your costs it costs money to both produce an album pay all all of the people that are making the beats for you right and then also making the music videos so like so so you never you so like you have to make enough money to pay back what what you owed for that um and the and the metrics of that are crazy um i've heard yeah it's basically you have to make five times the amount of money to pay back what you wrote that's so you didn't really make much money on your music uh well we directly we do now you know i mean like not a a ton because obviously like the bottom fell out of the music industry is commercials the main your main income source uh uh yeah i would say now yeah sadly why sadly because things don't pay enough or because you don't do enough of what you want both both yeah how do you do more of what you want uh you don't care about money as much i would say probably um and also like you know i'm very lucky because because my wife is a very accomplished filmmaker as well and she she we have you know the two of us both do commercials too as well so do you ever work together we the only thing we've really worked together was uh her first movie which is diary of a teenage girl i i helped produce but i think i've said but i feel like i um i don't want to taint her you know what i mean you know what got it but oh no she plays the mom in macgruber though who gets he she keeps getting shot in the head and one of the best things you know how like that your phone occasionally like plays you an old like old like you remember when and it plays like a really uh emotional song like look down one one day and it's just like uh bloody shots of her on the ground with a bullet hole in her head and with like like evidence markers being like oh do you remember and it still recognizes her face so it knows with other ones i don't know you would think they'd be like well you probably shouldn't have murder on there i always thought you just do stuff that you want to make of course i always wanted money but i was never driven by money right like just make stuff i want to be able to eat at the restaurants i want to eat at but whatever and to be honest and this is maybe not the most likable uh admission okay the past probably year yeah i've really been like i want to make money yeah so i think that's fine i never i like i open this window i'm staring at my neighbors there's almost no sunlight it's a cave in here i want a house i want a yard yeah you know and like i don't think you need to feel bad about that when there's like like companies called like billionaires boys club and like i want to be a billionaire so like i won't sing the rest well billionaire's boy club is pharrell yeah but i'm just saying song is no but i'm saying like that like it's like an american ethos to be like i want money it's the only thing that'll make me happy and then as soon as you get there you're like i'm gonna kill myself i don't think it's the only thing that's gonna make me happy i want a family so much like you saying that like we we could have gotten a sincerity of talking about like i want that it's the best um i i and it's not even like an it's it's more like i just want i we're in this business where there's so much money to be made and it's so hard to make money in it at the same time and in my mind it's like there's got to be ways to be i could be more efficient but i don't want like i'm already not doing that many things i say no i don't get offered a lot at all even auditions but relative to what i am either offered or auditions to do i say no to almost everything yeah i don't want to do that i don't want to do that i'm not going to shine in that that's not funny that's not with people i like yeah and i'm now kind of like maybe i want to like i like i don't know i want to yeah why not and i think commercials is the best well one if you get to do what you want yes it's i have to imagine that's like yeah i would say i get to do 20 of what i want but you but what's your prep time uh i mean it's fast it's really really fast that seems like i feel like the hidden jobs in this business do it the commercials are multi-cams talking to you deutsche uh i'm talking to you uh bbdo i'm talking to you uh 72 and sunny no these are all agencies these are all agencies that make commercials and produce things this guy me he's gonna work for free he's he works for free so i mean well i imagine you have to pay me at least scale for things well you're like a pusher man right like once they see the goods they're like they're gonna come back for more that's what it's you call that a loss leader right right yeah in this industry you often get paid for the job next time you know i mean like uh like what what people got paid when they made frozen versus frozen 2 oh man they cleaned up they cleaned up and throw frozen 3 don't even get me started well yeah shopify that's right do you ever do shopify commercials and they make you put in the cha-ching sound the funniest one to me recently was that i was giving her like a really smooth read on a maybe a chime commercial and then at the end i was going yeah you know like whatever and then the very end of it they had a disclaimer that was super fast like the chime is and i was like this is a really good like i didn't know that they were gonna put that in i didn't know that uh that shopify was doing the cha-ching you know oh buddy so i kept saying it it's why i'm such a user and i am and you can go to shopify.com slash tyso to get 10 off your mental health trust me that's that's right it's really important mental health is that you put in the basket and you don't want carts going on it's something about carts um there's something about we're done but i need you to do a commercial with me still okay do you have the time that's the only problem is i'm supposed to meet my dad like 10 minutes ago next time you'll do a commercial yeah yeah for sure um uh that was really fun i gotta take a polaroid real quick oh yeah and then and then do we want to like do an end thing or you're gonna do like a separate end thing this this that was it theme music that was it by the way the entire time i just want to say he was wearing his shoes so they could see oh stay there for one second hold on one second hold on when i say can i see an example we'll cut back to him i'm just gonna give you a puppet and just do something with it okay yeah sure you have a puppet available buddy i'm a stand-up comic okay that's true oh yeah you