Jon Gruden, Kyler Murray Named Vikings Starter, Mt Rushmore Of Purple Things + Pardon Your Take

Hey Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Venom paired with a Henley sweater, a bra-free top, it's comfortable, effortless, it just never fails. Find your fall capsule at Abercrombie, shop in the app online and in stores. On today's Pardon My Take presented by DraftKings, we've got our good friend Coach Gruden live in person talking football. Football is almost here. Coach Gruden with some awesome stories. Also, he's starting a new show with his brother. Jay, which we get into that as well. And he's going to be back in the booth for some preseason Bucs games, which we're very excited about that. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of purple things in honor of J.J. McCarthy not getting the starting job in Minnesota. We're going to talk about that. We have who's back there. Sorry, Hotsy Cool Throne. We're a little confused on what day it is. And then we're going to finish with Pardon Your Takes from our listeners. And it's all brought. It's brought to you by our friends at Chevy. Summer's in full swing. That means no schedules, no plans, just more of the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes that possible. There's a reason Chevy's called the heartbeat of America and the Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong. These trucks work so hard so you can chill harder, whether that's getting out of town, heading to the lake or just not turning around when you probably should. It's got the capability, the space and the muscle, everything you need for a proper summer. Coolers. Gear. Whatever your version of chill looks like. Because at the end of the day, Silverado helps you tackle more of what you love. And let's be honest, you've earned this summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll the windows down, turn the music up and just listen. That's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to Chevy.com to learn more today. Okay, let's go. Part of my take. Yeah. Part of my take. Yeah. Part of my take. Yeah. Part of my take. Yeah. Part of my take. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is August 12th and Kyler Murray has won the starting job in Minnesota for all the nine believers. Out there. It's a sad day. It's a bad day. Yeah. Kyler Murray is going to look so short in that purple uniform. But. Kirk Cousins looks short in that purple uniform. Yeah. Kyler's going to look really short. Yeah. It's the first, though, domino that has fallen. We're still waiting to see if Shador Sanders or Deshaun Watson is the starting quarterback in Cleveland. But Kyler Murray has won the job. And now we've talked about it. We actually are going to talk about it because we taped with John Gruden on Monday night before this happened. But you have to trade him, right? I guess so. But I don't know. I don't know what you're going to get. We mentioned it with Florio the other night. There might be something in the Vikings head that's like we use such a high draft pick on them. And I guess it's the sunk cost fallacy, right? You got to get rid of somebody's like fifth round pick. You're like, but I spent a first rounder on him. I don't really feel like so. If you spend 30 grand on a car and somebody you drive it off, it breaks down and somebody is like, can I pay 10 grand for the car? Yeah. It's worthless to you at the time. But it's like, no, it's like I just paid 30 grand for it. Maybe just make me. That doesn't feel insulting, but it would be probably a smart thing to let go because I don't think it's going to be productive for either side of that. Now, Kevin O'Connell has been a guy that said repeatedly that that quarter young quarterbacks don't fail teams. Teams fail young quarterbacks. And I don't know if you could count this as a team failing a young quarterback, but McCarthy was injured his first year. And then I'm going to be a pro nine player. I always am. I've been pretty clear about this through his whole career. I think J.J. McCarthy sucks, but I think nine is him. And when he gets for some reason, he just they weren't letting nine be nine. And he needs to go find a home that will love him for who he is. Here are the teams that I think could be interested in J.J. McCarthy. You tell me which ones are stupid or don't make sense, but I'll throw them out there. The Pittsburgh Steelers. Why not take a shot? You have you have done the the old quarterback revolving door for a while. Now, why wouldn't you just take a shot to bring him on the roster? Again, it's not going to cost a lot. You have Will Howard, but you're like, hey, let's let's see if we can reclaim a guy. Put him in. Put him in the system. Have Mike McCarthy coach him. Why not? You'd be the coach's son. Coach's son. Yeah. Yeah. Get those two back together. That's not a bad idea. It is like a little bit on the nose for for Steelers fans. They're just going to try to run the ball. Yeah. It's like you're promising your fan base a return to like 1970s football. Yeah. How about the Detroit Lions? Because Teddy Bridgewater just retired. They need to back up. He won a national championship in Michigan. You can have that kind of like, hey, look, he played college there. He lived there for four years. Why not have him go back to Detroit? I have to think Aiden Hutchinson is going to make a case for him. Yeah. Arizona Cardinals. You're probably going to draft someone next year. You're kind of sort of tanking. You have Carson Beck now. You're starting Jacoby Brissett. If you're a team like the Arizona Cardinals, I would take as many shots. At quarterback as you can, however they come. And JJ McCarthy would be one of those shots where it's like, get him on the roster, see what the fuck happens. That would be great because it would also fulfill like full on wife swap at quarterback between the Vikings and the Cardinals. Yeah. Yeah. And then the other one, I guess they kind of are okay because they drafted a quarterback in the first round, which is kind of something we should we should always just remind ourselves. But the Rams, because you have Matthew Stafford and that team looks like it's a Super Bowl. You know, ready team. Matthew Stafford is old. You need some contingency plans if he gets injured. Now, that'd be interesting because if he goes from the Vikings to McVay, right, it doesn't work out there. Then he'll probably go to the 49ers and he'll just play for all the gurus. I would have said the 49ers is going to be like, I can fix him. Yeah, I would have said the 49ers just because but but Mac Jones is there. And then the other one. What about what about the Seahawks? He knows how to be in a room with Sam Darnold. You can do that. I mean, I think I think the one that you left off is the Chargers bolt up. He seems like he's fully bolted. OK, I don't. Yeah, I don't see the Chargers, but sure. Why not? Harbaugh is like, you know, Harbaugh's in love with him. Yeah, that's true. All right. That's a good point. Maybe two in love with him. Oh, yeah. Like where it's like Justin Herbert's now got to be concerned. Well, I'm not saying that that like he's going to push Justin Herbert for the starting job. Yeah, that's clearly not going to happen. But I do think that like, yes, if any coach is going to be interested, it's probably going to be hard. In fact, now that I say it out loud, there's been a lot of a lot of incestuous stuff going on with the rosters of both the Harbaugh coach teams. They share a lot of their players. I'm pretty sure that if for whatever reason, it's not going to be a fit for the Chargers. Jim would get on the phone with John. Correct. And just be like, hey, if you're looking for a backup quarterback, I can't say enough good things about JJ. Yeah. What means you take him on the Jets? Why not? Like you. Why not? If you're if you don't have a for sure starter going forward. It's like just just take a shot. Right. It probably won't work out. He is a winner. Winner. But I doubt if it were if it didn't work out on the Vikings, it probably would. Can I throw out another interesting one? I just thought of one. OK, I'll throw out another interesting one as well. And then I want to hear yours like Sean Payton could fix JJ McCarthy. He could. But he's also I think he's deeply in love with Bo Nix. Of course. But you had it. I guess also the problem is he's deeply in love with what. What's the what's the guy with the tail? Stitty. Yes. He loves him so much that it's not even worth it. There might be a third guy that he's in love with coming in. Taysom Hill is probably going to get out there. And so that's there might not be enough reps. I think now it'd be funny. I don't think it's going to happen, but it would be very funny if the Houston Texans picked up JJ and just had him hand the ball off. And that defense continues to dominate and they go far in the playoffs. And JJ throws like 12 passes. A game doesn't turn it over hands the ball off. And if the Texans won a Super Bowl, that would be the funniest possible. That would be good to this discourse. I think that's what I'm rooting for. Yeah. All right. So that's that's JJ McCarthy. That's probably he's got to get traded. I just don't know how you can have him on the roster and try to go back to him and give him any type of confidence when he just lost out to Kyler Murray, who Kyler Murray has flashes. And it's not like Kyler Murray is like any slouch. But again, you drafted him two years ago. And it's like this. This is this was supposed to be the future. And you're moving on from that already. So you just got to rid yourself. It's kind of like the Josh Rosen. Like, just get get rid of him, get him off the roster and move on. Which is apropos, because Josh Rosen, obviously, Kyler Murray was the one who was drafted after Josh Rose. Yeah. There's some guys that that would make good backup quarterbacks that would be able to kind of like fade into the background. I don't know that nine is that guy. JJ McCarthy is JJ is nine's not. Yeah. OK. Other other news. So so speaking of quarterbacks, Todd Munkin, can I read a quote for you? because we are wondering who's going to start at quarterback, Deshaun Watson or Shador Sanders. A reporter asked Todd Munkin when he previously had talked about Deshaun Watson getting better. He said, were you saying Deshaun has gotten better since camp or that he's better than Shador? And Todd Munkin replied, oh, I don't think I threw in there that he's better than Shador. I'm not sure I went that far, but I appreciate you trying to trap me in that shit. Didn't he just trap himself? Yeah. Didn't he just admit that he's better than Shador? Well, no. Or Shador's, wait. No, Shador's better than him. He just admitted that Shador's better. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't think I threw in there that he's better than Shador. So, yeah, Shador's better. Okay, so here's how you can tell that Shador's better. The fact he denied it means that inside of his own head, he knows that he would never say that because he doesn't believe it. If he had, if the guy was trying to trap him, And he actually thought maybe Shador wasn't as good. He would just say, like, I don't remember you ever saying anything like that. We don't have a depth chart. He would, like, waffle his way out of it. But the fact that he denied it tells me that in his own brain, he recognized that person's putting a lie on my name. Right. I have to correct the record. Oh, shit. They got me. Yes. Now, it's also interesting that he's, like, definitively behind Shador at this point. Yeah. I don't think. I don't know. I'm not watching every Browns practice. God bless the coaches that have to do that every day. But this sounds like just alternate drives until somebody separates themselves. Well, I think so. We have the first preseason games coming up this week, and I'm pretty sure. So the first unofficial depth chart, as expected, or between Deshaun Watson and Shador Sanders. So the Browns play the Bears, I believe, in the first preseason game. And if you're looking at the depth chart, it has. The number one is for every position. And then for QB, it says Deshaun Watson or Shador Sanders. And then the number three is Dylan Gabriel. Yeah, I love the oars. That's a recent development coming out of training camps. Also, can I just say, as an aside, this is a personal matter, but I think it should be illegal and you should be in jail if you report that a player is injured for a short period of time. And then it turns out they're injured for a longer period of time. Kobe Bryant is now out for four to six months because he got knee surgery. Everyone reported that he was out for eight to ten weeks. That should be jail. Anyone who reported that should be in jail for eight to ten weeks. You should have to serve the original sentence of how long you said he was going to be out. What's the injury? His knee. So we knew his knee got hurt. Right. And then he was carted off and went through all the emotions. And then they came out and they were like eight to ten weeks. So in my head, I'm like, oh, he'll be back week four. Turns out he got knee surgery. Ben Johnson said today he's going to be out for four to six weeks or four to six months, which is pretty much. The whole season. And this is the Bears big signing. I mean, remember, Ryan Poles is like, we're going to get covered sacks this year. So that should just be if you report an injury incorrectly, you should have to serve the sentence of the injury that you first said. Do you guys all agree? Like, that is illegal. I'm just in favor of more jail time. You just can't do that. You can't play with everyone's emotions like that. It's bullshit. It's complete bullshit. You agree, Max? I mean, it's a thing of like nothing changed from when. Correct. Injury happened to. Now. So why? So why did you say that then? Yeah. Why? Why did you say that he didn't need to get this surgery when he obviously didn't need to get this? I have a guess. Don't say anything if you don't know. Zach, remind me when we talk to Schefter at the combine. I'm going to fucking I'm going to put him in jail. What do you think about him sustaining the same injury? If you false report, you get like a bone. Yeah, you have to do that. Yeah. I like that. But yeah, remind me. Put that down a reminder right now. Also, we need ice cream. I. My theory is that they just they reported. Like the hopeful thing from the coach. And then he got an MRI after the. Yeah, but it sucks. You shouldn't get to do that. You shouldn't get to do the whole thing. You shouldn't. You shouldn't report being first report injury as a like a news guy that has sources inside the team. That's kind of weird business. I'm all for the weird doctors speculating online. You can do the opposite, too. I have no problem with that. If they said he was out for four to six months and then they're like, actually, he's only out for eight to ten weeks. Then you get like a prize. You get a Pulitzer. But. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's other shit you can't do. Yeah. OK. Other stories. By the way, can we just leave? Can we leave the Schwamm alone? Let's just leave the Schwamm alone. Yeah. No more needs to be said. He's a fucking living legend. I agree. I agree. Just chill out. So is there anything wrong at all with a man losing a little bit of weight? No. I think it sounds like people are just jealous that he's so hot now. You want to laugh? That's bad. Doesn't quit. You want to laugh at someone with no ass? Just look at a picture of Ben Mintz. OK, let's do that. The fair. I was going to say, I mean, as as as no ass. I'm a I'm team no ass. Yeah. But I just like it happens. Some decorum. Some guys got it. Some guys don't. Hank is not caked up in the slightest. Let's have some fucking decorum online. The NBA released their schedule, which let me just say that's the opening day schedule. That's fine. They released it. There's the Tuesday, October 20th. There's a game at two o'clock Central Time. Nice. The Celtics and the Pistons are playing at two o'clock. That's fun. Opening day. A little weird. But fun. Fun. Fun, but weird. Yeah, but fun. But fun. Why do you think it's fun? Because it's opening day. It's like I'll take any. I'll take any time. You get you get a taste. You get a taste in the afternoon. And then it's like, all right, now we got more basketball tonight. It's mostly about like that matchup. What was fun about the matchup? It's the first game of the year. Playoff team. Number one seed last year. Yeah. One to match up. All right. Yeah. Anytime they have sports in the middle of the day means we can bet on it. So that's fun. um and then Sixers Knicks in New York so so the returning champions going up to New York so the Knicks the Knicks the Knicks got uh the the Knicks got so disrespected they didn't start the NBA season by the way I think memes actually wants to kill me I've never said oh yeah like the more the more tongue-in-cheek Knicks jokes that we've made which by the way we have all the respect in the world for the Knicks but it's just fun to to get under meme skin the last two weeks he's like threatened to kill me three times oh yeah yeah he's mad about it I was leaving the other week and I was like all right take care later memes have a good one he goes hey PFT drive home safe whoa yeah yeah pretty menacing well PFT did drop a really good joke on me as he was leaving oh that's right yeah I forgot about that what'd he say yeah I said I said all right see you later memes good luck with procedure oh and then memes said what'd you say memes I said I said what procedure I said take the stick out of your ass wait is this also when memes said drive safely yeah you didn't give the context of that well he had also means it also threatened me multiple times I was just saying that because you're not very good at driving oh whoa oh I haven't been in an accident in what years two years no well two you hit the pole no that pole was a traffic hazard in our parking lot that Hank didn't remove yeah two years that's not bad two years is a lot of years that's a that's a crash everyone hits that pole yeah that whole everyone have you seen this I have not hit that pole did you actually hit that pole no I have not hit that pole nobody's hit that no one's everyone have you seen the side of it you got it you got in a chick accident because you you got in a chick that thing is crunchy that thing is in the it's it came out of nowhere uh okay so that so the NBA that's the opening day for the NBA schedule and then the NBA also released their Christmas day schedule which is Packers at Bears Bills at Broncos and Rams at Seahawks because I'm not watching the NBA on Christmas Day I I like that they still are trying being like yeah we didn't get this stolen from us but they've gotten it stolen yeah LeBron almost he had me going last time he was like hey NFL is NBA's day it's actually Jesus let me just let me just I know you think you were born in major it's Jesus day by the way I know the schedule the season could go any which way but let me just read that schedule to you again Packers at Bears Bills at Broncos Rams at Seahawks yeah we will not be watching the NBA on Christmas day I'm gonna be very busy watching the NBA on Christmas oh you are you're gonna watch it well watch one game you're gonna watch it you're gonna watch LeBron's documentary he said it's gonna be electric yeah it will be is that what I think that was exact quote it's gonna be electric it will be it's gonna be electric when I'm done with it when's it coming out what's he gonna be doing is he gonna fuck his is he gonna fuck his his documentary it's gonna be electric when I'm done with it we literally say everything is electric we don't say like after I'm finished with no yeah yeah we do after I'm sure you said this book is electric I actually I'm sure it's the same thing I don't think I don't it's not electric you can order the electric book on Amazon but this is actually it's actually like the one thing that we've created that is not electric yeah no you're talking about no you're actually saying that's not a kindle we create a podcast that is electric because it's you can listen to it on a phone this is an actual audio book oh so you so you don't want our listeners to listen to the audio actually I don't want our listeners to listen to the audio book either no actually I don't want our listeners to listen to the audio book either no actually I don't I want them to buy the book because we want to be New York Times bestsellers and buying the book is the only way to do that the first week this is an analog book audio book does not count for sales why do we do the audio book it counts for sales but doesn't count for New York Times bestsellers got it to be honest with you is a giant behind the scenes prank just to see us try to read our own book yeah and we're gonna just use the outtakes and put those out the woman said I was reading too fast and I was like I'm doing exactly what I do on the podcast you could slow down electric you could slow down yeah nope not you were you were about to say not electric you were about to say yeah not electric max by the book Buy the book. Please buy the book. When LeBron's done with that documentary, we're all going to need towels. It's going to be electric. Better toss that chalk up in the air, LeBron. Okay, before we get to the rest of the show, DraftKings, this summer, whatever you're watching, baseball, golf, soccer, racing, DraftKings has you covered for every single moment of it. The DraftKings Sports app is now available in all 50 states, bringing the game straight to your fingertips wherever you are. From Florida to Texas to California, you're in on the excitement at the speed of sports. Follow every buzzer beater, every walk-off, every photo finish. Sweat the moments that matter in real time with a seamless experience built for the biggest season of the year. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app. New DraftKings customers, sign up with code TAKE, spend $5 to get $150 in rewards within 14 days. This includes all markets. That's code TAKE in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Bet with DK Sports. Book. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. 1-800-MY-RESET. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas, bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois, 21 and over. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get bonus bets that expire in seven days. Trade to get predictions dollars that expire in one year. $50 in rewards issued every seven days via click-to-claim for 14 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at DKN.com. Can I read you guys a list that might be interesting to the vast majority of this room? USA Today has ranked their 10 coaches on the hot seat going into the NFL season. Can we guess? Yeah. Who's number one? Number one coach on the hot seat going into this NFL. Wait. Is it going to make me happy to hear? Dan Quinn. I think Dan Quinn's on the list. He is not on the list. He is on the list. He should be on the list. He's not on number one. All right. So the list is, like I said, it's relevant to pretty much everyone in this room. Number one is Shane Steichen. Number two is Aaron Glenn. Number three is Todd Bowles. I think I agree with. I don't know about Shane Steichen. I feel like he does a pretty good job. But Aaron Glenn and Todd Bowles make sense. Number four, Zach Taylor. Number five, Dan Quinn. Okay. I would argue Dan Quinn should be. Firmly top three. Yeah. Number six, Nick Sirianni. Whoa. Whoa. I think that's just the Philly tax of just you're always on the hot seat. Yeah. This is where the list, though. Number six is actually that's completely neutral. This is where the list went just. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Like, that's your new coach. He's six on the hot seat. This is where the list went. I don't know if the person who made the list at USA Today is watching football, like, reading. I don't know anything about football, knows anything about football, because the list took a left turn here. Number seven. I would say the left turn was before, but continue. No, Nick Sirianni would. You guys have everyone on the hot seat all the time. Well, let's see where this list turns. Okay. Number seven, Matt LaFleur, who just signed a long-term deal with the Packers. I think that would be fair to say, like, going into the playoffs maybe last year. Yeah. Right after the game. Right. Because there was the will he, won't he sign, but he just signed a long-term deal. Number eight, Clint Kubiak. Doesn't really make sense. Yeah. Number nine, Joe Brady. And number 10, Mike Vrabel. Okay. Doesn't make any sense. He was just in the Super Bowl. Yeah. So that's, yeah. That's the last. I don't know. Seven through 10, I don't know what they were doing. I think that person doesn't watch football. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense. The fact that Clint Kubiak, like, you can't put a rookie head coach on the hot seat. That sounds like there's not enough coaches on the hot seat, and they needed to finish out the top 10. The top five made sense. Who would have been? I mean, Jim Harbaugh, according to Mike Florio. Yeah. What? No, it's true. What? According to Mike Florio. Yeah. And also, if you're going to put a rookie head coach on the hot seat, wouldn't Todd Munkin be the pick? Yeah. Like, he has screwed that up even more, written all over him. He's got big fired energy. Yeah. Fired early energy. Yeah. This is like, Munkin, I wish nothing but the best. I want Cleveland to be successful. If we're being honest, we can look at him and be like, this is like, remember Joe Philbin? Yeah. Like, you know what's going to happen. Yeah. You know how this is going to end. Big time. I would say that there's, yeah, there's a couple I would put on there. Is there a TV on in the other room? Oh, Mike's yelling outside. Oh, we got to get him in here to talk about some more. Oh, no, it's Jerry. Oh, it's Jerry. He's doing Jerry and Terry. Oh. He asked me before I came out here. Crossover. He was like, Eric, is it okay if I record Jerry and Terry from the bathroom? Oh, I love that. I was like, sure, you can do it from the room. I love that. I love that. The bathroom's probably better. I would say Schottenheimer, just because, like, Jerry is liable to mix things up. He's not. I know he doesn't fire as many coaches, but if things go haywire, like, I could see him making a move. It's not a crazy thing. I would also say Dan Campbell. And it's no disrespect to Dan Campbell, because he's done a great job with the Lions. Changed everything there. But with the way the schedule plays out for them this year, I think if they don't make the playoffs, he's definitely on the hot seat. Okay. I mean, I'm actually thinking about it. There's not a lot of coaches that you, like, the list, it is hard to get further down the list, because a lot of the coaches got, you know, swapped out. And what are you going to, like, you know, it would have been maybe Mike Tomlin. It would have been John Harbaugh. But, like, those guys are out. Maybe Canales? No, he just won the division. Yeah, but, I mean, things don't go well this year. I think if you win the division for the Panthers, you're good for a couple years. Yeah. You definitely have a few-year grace period. I'm just saying. I could see, it wouldn't be shocking given the ownership. I would, yeah, I think, though, you just would have to be like, hey, dude, remember last year when we won the division? Yeah. Like, that was crazy. That would be, I understand that, but I also know how the owner likes to operate. And I don't think he's, like, right now in a position. But if things start out really ugly for the Panthers, I could see that talk picking up easily. Okay. Do we have anything else before we do Hot Seat Cool Toronto? Anyone have any? Yeah. Yeah. Bullying works. Bullying works. Number, like, 120 in the last three years that we could put in the file. Okay. The Broncos and the Seahawks are wearing the throwback uniforms when they play against each other. Yep. That is going to be incredible. When I'm done with that game, it's going to be electric. Yeah. That's a towel game. Yeah. That is a towel game. It's going to be perfect to look at on TV. It's going to be incredible. I saw it, and I was just like, holy shit, I want it bad. Real bad. Electric is, like, the most used adjective on this show. So, I don't know what we're doing here. I got a pretty good documentary. I got a good documentary in the works, too. It's going to be electric when I'm done with it. He's fucking the documentary. That is, he's, yeah, he's taking out the documentary and having sex with it. Is he Pikachu? What do you mean? Like, he has sex, and it just becomes electric? Yeah, maybe. That's true. Max is acting like we say electric all the time on the show. Like, it's the theme song of this show for years. Right. I don't get it. Max. Max. He's also acting like we, like, he still hasn't realized that LeBron being on the Sixers means we're going to nitpick everything about LeBron. And he hasn't picked up on it. I don't care to defend the wall. I don't think he's, I don't think he's built for it. Yes, I am. Wait, so you're cool with LeBron James fucking a documentary? He never said that. It sounds like it. The implication is there. Because of the implication. It's always sunny on a boat. No. The implication. Max. Do you think that LeBron's going to show up at ESPN? Eagles practice? I don't know. Why would I care? Well, because. That's actually a fair answer. Because part of this, like, Jalen Brown went there, right? That's a very fair answer. That was kind of cool. Like, it would be nice if LeBron wanted to go. Sure. That's all I'm saying. He plays for the Sixers. Yeah. But you want your guys from the teams to show up for the other sports. You can't do that. Because you literally said if the Phillies get Mike Trout, it would be like an Eagles player on the Sixers. Mike Trout's different. Mike Trout is on the Eagles. That's what I'm saying. Did you see, by the way, that story? He's basically on the sideline every game. Did you guys see that story where Mike Trout took the entire Angels team to his private golf course for, like, team bonding during the trade deadline? And, like, the story was written, and it sounded like everyone was getting out of jail. Like, they would get a call on the golf course and be like, Zephyr John, you've been traded. And he would, like, give hugs and be like, I'm free. And, like, guys. Being like, hey, can I finish my round of golf real quick before I head to Atlanta? So the Angels situation is just, I mean, that's a franchise that is irrelevant beyond that. The party that would have happened at that trade deadline, or at that golf course, if he got traded to the Phillies at the deadline, would have been crazy. Oh, yeah. A hole-in-one party. Oh, it would have been the biggest hole-in-one party of all time. Yeah. Yeah. How long has it been since the Angels made the playoffs? Has it been. A decade? I think it's been longer than that. I was wondering. I was wondering. I was looking at Mike Trout, like, just looking at his stats. He was so fucking good. I mean, he still is good, but he's not, like, peak. But when he came up, he was just instantly, like, the best hitter in baseball. There's so many flies in this place. I would like, at some point, when is his contract up here? I'm looking at it right now. He's got. Oh, he's got a long time. He's got six more years. When he's done with that contract, it's good. It's got to be electric. I think in three or four years, he's got to at some point, like when he's closing out the career, make one trade request, right? I would hope so. I would love to see Mike Trout play meaningful baseball games in October. I think everybody would. Yeah. Because we do forget how good he is at baseball. And it's easy to forget because they haven't done shit. Yeah. But if we get one season, almost like a Ray Bork, or it doesn't matter, like a guy at the end of their career, I want to see Mike Trout making a playoff run. I agree. I would love to see that. I think he probably would like, he doesn't want to move right now. I get that. But if it's for a year, I could see it happening. And that's going to make me very excited about baseball. Yeah. Okay. Let's do our Hot Seat Cool Thrones. And then we're going to do the Mount Rushmore. And then we have a great interview with Gruden. And we finish with part of your takes. Unless he goes to the Dodgers, in which case, I just pictured him wearing a Dodgers uniform. Fuck you if you do that. No, he wouldn't do that. Okay. Hot Seat Cool Thrones brought to you by our friends at Twisted Tea, Summer. Summer's here and so is the Twisted Tea Summer Party Pack. We have the party pack right in front of us if you're watching. On Netflix, Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard ice tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. They also have a new summer party pack that has a brand new twisted lemonade. It's a refreshing hard lemonade made with real lemons. It's only available in their new party pack. So grab it while you can, whether you're hanging out at the bar, hitting the lake or beach for a weekend, or day drinking with friends. Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. Keep the good times going all day and all summer long. Keep it twisted. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Okay, Hank, Hot Seat Cool Thrones. My hot seat is Tulsa National Little League team. Yeah. They advanced to the Southwest region to be the representative in the Little League World Series. Then a bunch of teams complained, filed a formal appeal. Turns out the Tulsa National was like, I don't know if they had a guy that was over 20. 12 or they were using. They were stacking it. Yeah, they said they partook in fraudulent use of the Challenger program to falsify player eligibility. So it's probably, I think, and I haven't read anything other than what you just said. And one tweet that said something about disabilities. It sounded like they faked some kids maybe outside of the region to stack a super team. Yeah, I do want. I was hoping it was like a 14 year old. I did see that they had their banner for winning. The state of Oklahoma. I want that better. Well, they appealed that they got they got banned. Tulsa appealed. It got approved being like, all right, you're back in. And then second appeal formally done. Give me that banner. I'll help you. I will help fund the next scheme. You're going to plan on doing Tulsa Little League. So they did they get officially caught? Like who caught? Was it a parent complaint? It was like multiple. They won. And then I guess multiple teams. There was multiple confirmations that they were like abusing the rules, which is fucked up. I'm guessing it was like a couple of teams probably like banded together and filed the complaint. If they were to create a super team in Little League is true. True scumbag shit. What is it called? The rules, the organizing body. What rule did they violate? They partook in fraudulent use of the challenger program to falsify player eligibility. That's the worst thing I've ever heard associated with the challenger program. There it is. Oh, rings. Yeah. Frozen. My cool turn was LeBron James Sixers 34 nationally televised games. That's the max. But since we talked about that, I guess part of my book, it's going to be electric. Bye today. That is. Thanks. Right. Read. We did. We did. We did autograph a lot of books and people are starting to receive some autograph ones. I changed my the way I autograph my signature like seven different ways. So it's a dealer's choice. Yeah. Not a single. Not a single one of my signatures is the same on any on any single book. There was somewhere where Hank did lefty Lockwood. Yep. Somewhere Hank did lefty Lockwood, but there was just one L that started out lefty and Lockwood. There was one where I wasn't paying attention. I signed my last name first. That's good. That's the rest of one of one. One of one. Yeah. Zach has the Korean signature. Zach's signature is awesome. Just ran the ball. One was Zach. Just quickly. It's easy. But then you do double C around the whole thing. Yeah. Which is cool. But go buy the book. Go buy the book on Amazon. We are very proud of it. I think people are going to really, really like it. Some really funny stories. It's also I'll just say this right now because we're not real big book guys. I think we wrote it in a way that if you are not a big reader, you still will enjoy it. We made the chapter short. Good stories. Funny little like weird things where like Zach did the history of ice cream. Max did Italian Hall of Fame with Florio memes. Rebuilt the Jets. He wrote a manifesto inside the book. My chapter is wrong. What do you mean your chapter is wrong? Oh, I didn't. It's outdated already. Yeah, it's outdated. Immediately. Oh, no. What did you write, Shane? The end. He wrote the end. The whole end. No, we all wrote to me. I did my 10 rules of gambling. We did. Everyone did chapters. Zach or Jacob wrote a chapter. So we got and then we have J.J. Watt, Scott Van Pelt, Rosillo, a bunch of our favorites. We're guys and girls. So go buy a book, please. Yeah, be great. Be electric. It would be electric. Hot seat, cool throne, PFT. Yeah, my hot seat is player safety in football. There's a story out of Arkansas, Arkansas high school football. There was a player at his high school football practice today. Or it might have been a couple of days ago that practiced for an hour and felt a weird thing going on with his helmet. And it was moving around. And he went over the sidelines, took it off, brought it to the athletic trainer or the equipment manager or whatever. And the manager looked inside and there was a live cotton mouth snake that had been inside the dude's helmet for a full hour of football practice before he took it out. They couldn't get the snake to come out. So they had to fill the helmet with water. Did they have like a stop this story or something? This is a terrible story on the flu. They should have had somebody play it, play a song for it. Yeah, charm it out of there. They had to fill the helmet up with water to drown the snake so that it would crawl out. So it slithered out. They captured it, gave it to animal control who took it into the woods and released it. But a cotton mouth, I think, is the second most poisonous snake in the United States. Kill it. It'll fuck you up if it bites you. Dude, why are they releasing it? It was in the guy's helmet. Kill it. For an hour. I can't imagine the lack of self-awareness that you know what? If you have a snake inside your helmet for an hour, you should go to the concussion tent. You should see a doctor immediately who's like, there's something wrong with this. Now that I think about it, this should be a lawsuit against like Riddell and helmet makers. There should be a sticker on them saying, warning, always check for snakes. Yeah. When you put this helmet on. They have other warnings. We made something to protect your head during football. Also accidentally made an awesome place for a snake to hide. Yeah. Our bad. Goodell should put that in the back of the end zones this year. Yeah. Make sure to check your helmet for cotton. Mouths. That's crazy. Cause we solved racism onto the next one. My cool throne is robots. Robots are the cool throne because I heard the CEO of a company called cloud fair that or cloud flare that deals with internet traffic. They initially predicted that bot traffic would surpass human traffic by 2027. Turns out that happened already in 2026. And he said that if current trends hold in five years, non-human traffic will be as much as a thousand times as much as human traffic. Wait, say that again. Non-human traffic in five years, non-human traffic will be as much as a thousand times as much as human traffic. A thousand bots everywhere. So it's dead internet theory. I don't know if you guys have heard of the dead internet theory, which is just that after 2016, most things online are populated by either bots or just like, you know, algorithms and not actual human traffic. Um, but I think they figured out a way to measure it. And that includes crawlers that are like going out over the web, copying websites, putting them into large language models and stuff like that. Um, but it's a thousand times as much as human traffic in five years, which is absolutely crazy. I don't know if robots bad do robots listen to podcasts. It feels bad. Yeah, it does. It doesn't feel good. It feels I'd like to ban robots from listening to this podcast. You keep saying human traffic. And I think you're talking about human traffic. You're talking about human trafficking. Yeah. I could see how that would be confusing for a dumb person. It's Max. I I'm actually, I think it might be pro robot trafficking. Yeah, that's yeah. We should make them have sex. Yeah. You started fucking LeBron. You started this ran. And in my head, I was thinking, I was like, that sounds way better. I was, I was dismayed that human trafficking is going away. Well, then the more you talked about it, it started, it started to click to me, but I did human traffic sounds so much like human traffic. It's just three letters off. Yeah. It's a pretty important last three letters. Thought trafficking could, I'm fine with, I'm fine with robot trafficking. In fact, I would like to see a thousand times more of it than human trafficking. Yeah. All right, cool. We're on the same page. Yup. Yup. Exactly. That is crazy though, man. Fuck. That's that's I can't even comprehend that and what that's going to mean. for society. and i don't i don't think it's going to be anything positive it's going to be more people getting their twitter account locks because they voted for a spotify poll shit like that yeah yeah definitely that sort of thing it's going to be actually a lot of people on x the everything app underneath like any sort of verified tweet immediately rephrasing that tweet back in the replies yeah those type of bots yeah uh okay uh my hot seat cool drone my hot seat is the kids because mlb released their post-season schedule and game seven of the world series if it happens will be halloween night oh yeah what a shitty thing for the mlb to do it's so easy not to do that i mean i know sunday and monday make it difficult because those are football nights but that sucks uh what day of the week is that saturday night saturday night okay saturday night october 31st halloween night game seven of the world series if i'm thinking about it trick-or-treating is usually wrapped up by like eight or nine what if the dodgers are in the world series which could very well happen and uh they're trick-or-treating during game seven yeah i was thinking my time zone yeah i wasn't thinking about west coast time that's a fair point yeah that's a fair point that sucks it's just like what i i get it it's hard because of all the football like football runs everything totally get it not christmas we still got christmas for the nba but yeah i just saw it and i was like i and yeah i know like uh listen if the cubs are in a game seven world series i'll be i'll be i'll sign up for that right now because it'd be incredible but like i would be bummed out that my kids are like i you know that's a big halloween's a big night for my kids there would be a lot of dads trying to convince their kids that actually the cubs being world series game seven is way cooler than halloween and the kids who might have been getting into baseball at the time will just say absolutely not yeah halloween is my one right now with having kids like i did christmas dude i fucking my kids get so pumped up to get like dressed up and get the can maybe it's because it's the next one coming up but they just they'd start they've already started talking about halloween costumes so i think what are we going to be this year if you're if you're ranking like the best ages to celebrate halloween i think as a kids clear number one would you say as an adult with kids being number two or would you say college college and adult with kids yeah i mean college rocks it's pretty good and then and then far in the distance is like like late 20s no kids and then also like 14 to like 17 yeah that sucks 14 17 when you're when you're too old to trick or treat but you're not old enough to like party and you're just stuck in the middle and you're like oh this sucks and like that last year that you go trick-or-treating and everyone's like dude you're way too old yeah call it treating yeah go home yeah don't do that anymore also hot seat uh golf golf cheaters did you we didn't talk about this story but it was crazy there was a story that went viral over the weekend um there was essentially so a member uh guest tournament in st louis member member in st louis where uh there was a pot for not only winning the tournament but also a pot for a par three hole-in-one uh if anyone hits a hole one they get a shitload of money that everyone put in uh guy goes and first tee time of the day shows up uh is playing and he tells his playing partners uh that he has an ill grandmother and he might take a phone call at some point and have to run and grab and like and take the phone call because she's in the hospital or whatever uh does it after the hole three hole four is a par par three he says let me run ahead i'll hit i'll take this phone call and then i'll meet you guys in the green par par three uh hole four so he runs ahead then he meets them and he's like i hit i thinned it i don't know where it went shows up balls in the cup everyone's partying everyone's like that's crazy way to go there's a divot mark everything uh you know gets the money next day a couple members were like wait no one saw him actually hit the ball and they pulled the tapes he had gone out before the round to the fourth hole and placed the ball in the hole and made a fake divot mark i don't even think that's true i think he didn't he like park his car there you know he drove to the fourth hole they found him on the security tapes no no he drove like there's a shed near the fourth hole yeah he drove before the the round got it he drove he dropped because he knew he's the first one out of the fourth hole he's the first one out of the fourth hole and he's the first one out they were the first tee time got it got dropped the ball in the hole made a fake divot mark and then left and then did that whole thing and now uh they gotta release the video it's got to be the funny video of all time how much how much money did he make off the hole in one it probably was like 10 grand or something i don't know and just close yeah that's just close that guy should be insane like he should either be in prison for the rest of his life yeah because like this is truly anti-social behavior yeah this is like psychopath stuff if you actually think about you could think about it and you could think about it and you could think about it and you could think about it and be like oh man someone could do this but to actually carry this out it's crazy is absolutely i know it's not like a jail time worthy offense no but it says everything about guy would he should either be in prison or golf tournament should hire this guy to figure out if other people are cheating yeah like catch me if you can because this he's that level of criminal mind what were you gonna say max it's crazy he went on a st louis radio show on friday i actually listened to it because i was interested in this story uh and he did the usual he played the cards of like people are coming after my family please leave him alone which yes of course leave his family alone but you sir are crazy you're psycho like that's a crazy thing to do what were you gonna say max you defend him no i wasn't gonna defend him also i did see one video of him because he hit a big putt uh to win something and um i think it was a barstool classic yeah yeah really when they slowly figured out who it was they're like this is the guy and it's just him he hits a putt riggs like jumps in his arms so no way it's so funny him and riggs embracing like they're like best friends that's awesome it's so funny he he was he like is a good golfer he's a low handicap um so even like sure well he played in college like the i've read about it like he played in community college a guy that's willing to drive oh of course and hide a ball yeah i think it wouldn't be out of the question to say he's shaved a couple strokes off before that's like yeah that's not the first time cheat no he would do the other way though but you know i don't think he would sandbag you don't jump in to like putting your ball in a hole before the round starts and faking a phone call with your dead grandma that's something you built you build up to over probably years of cheating at golf yeah but he's probably better at golf yeah that's what i'm saying he's a sandbagger he's probably better at golf than a two i was just saying he might lie about a score during tournaments yeah but i think he he most likely he's a sandbagger than a vanity handicap get yip strickler on it yeah uh well they already solved it max i feel like you just keep are you still thinking about the trafficking thing no no no bots dude no i was initially going to say that i think that we that we know a guy that would do this but i don't even think that jersey jerry no i don't think jerry would do it yeah i don't think jerry would do it that was my initial thought and then i the more that i thought about i was like he wouldn't do that absolutely jerry might walk by the hole when everyone's like in the sand trap and drive him out of the hole and he's like oh my god i'm not going to do that and drop it in but he wouldn't go out before the whole round that's a lot of thinking it's a crazy amount of thinking it's like premeditated you're sitting on that you're marinating with it you're like all right let me park next to the shed let me see if i dribble this to make the mark too and then be like and then use your like ill grandmother as an excuse and be like i thinned it i don't know where it went oh shit it's in the hole it is so premeditated it's the most premeditated crime you could ever commit the level of step that you have you have to do so much stuff you don't just have to conceptualize it you have to do so much stuff you have to do so much stuff you have to like set an alarm in the middle of the night it's crazy and drive that to the course what's the plan there too like you do it at the club you're a member of so then that that's going to get brought up all the time oh he immediately renounced his uh membership i think it was like a i quit before they could fire me because he would 100 be fired or like like uh kicked out yeah but even best case he doesn't get caught you just does that guilt not just eat you every time somebody brings up the clubhouse like right you think you were going to maintain like oh yeah i hit that whole one six years ago it's also crazy to like it's insane to say in a tournament setting to be like i hit a hole in one but no one saw it like how do you think that the fact that it even lasted a day before other members were like wait a second no one saw it everyone's gonna have that question you're like there were no witnesses to this how does that make sense like you you just can't you can't i would never buy it if i walked up and someone's like oh my god i hit a hole in one it's like okay dude you no one was around sure thing you did oh that's gonna be the worst ever though actually hitting one and just no one's there by the way who do you think's gonna hit the first hole in one on this show is it gonna be hank just by numbers but it has to be no probably probably pft i think i'm gonna hit oh i think i'm gonna hit one hole in one in my life but it's gonna be uh actually a par because i'm gonna hit it in the water and then my second shot will be a hole in one it'd be the best that's that's definitely whatever you're gonna do that's gonna happen to me that'd be devastating oh my god but you know you could see it yeah 100 i thought about that i hit i hit this one really good like six months ago you know it was right after i hit the ball out of bounds on a par four and so my retee was awesome and it went up on the green, and as it was going towards the hole, I swear my only thought was, oh, no. Yeah. Like, that would be awful. Yeah. That would be terrible to hit that. Yeah. All right, my cool throne is NFL head coaches because there's a new NFL rule that allows NFL head coaches to have a designated flag thrower on the sidelines. So there can be another coach or staff member, maybe a partner, who can throw the red flag. That's a pretty cool thing. Like, if that's your job. Being backup flag guy. Backup flag guy. No, no, you're main time flag guy. So you hold the flag. There's not two flags. No, no, no. You are the flag guy. Yeah, I like that. Which actually kind of makes sense because sometimes they can't find it, but if you have your hold back guy just holding it. Yeah. Big Tom's got to be the flag guy. That's a lot of responsibility. He's got to be. He's got to be. He's got to be. He's got way more responsibility than that. But I want him to be the flag guy. I want him to fucking launch. Can he put, like, one white and then one green stripe also on the flag? That would be awesome. That would be so sick. If he had a plasma flag, yeah. And we'd win every challenge. The Italian challenge flag. Yeah. That would be so awesome. Oh, did you see, by the way, Max? I think I tagged you. I tagged you in that tweet that there's, like, a crisis in Italy because it's too hot and there's Gouda cheese is melting. And they use it as, like. Definitely not Gouda. What was it? Oh, no. It was Parmesan. It was Parmesan cheese. And it was melting. And they use that as, like, their gold standard. They use that to back their money in Italy. Yeah. I saw that. I felt like it was probably fake. No. I think that's real. I want it to be real. That's so awesome. If they're, like, when the banks fail, we still got our cheese. I know that those big box of cheese are, like, tens of thousands of dollars. So then it probably is real. They're all real. They're on the cheese standard, not the gold standard. I don't understand what the problem is. You're just getting meltier cheese. It should be worth more. No. No, Parmesan. You can't have that. Yeah. It's aged. It's gooier. Yeah, you can't have that. Because then it probably gets mold and stuff in it. Gouda is really good. That's what blue cheese is. Gouda is just not Italian cheese. I know, but smoked Gouda. Pretty sure it's Dutch. I want to say Dutch. Yeah. Okay. I hope I know cheese. That would be cool. Zach. My hot sauce. My hot seat this week is going to be guys who maybe aren't really acting like themselves right now because Paul Skins got pulled today after five innings on the 65 pitches, and he didn't pitch one pitch over 95. Yeah. Do we think he's injured? I think there's something up. I mean, he's got to be, right? Like, something changed. Is it an emotional thing? Is he just, like, detached from the game? No, I don't know what it is, but it feels like there's an injury. He's what? He's not stretching enough. He's what my doctor told me. Yeah. He's stretching. Is he going to stretch harder or stretch longer? Stretch more. He's got to stretch more. He's got to spend more time stretching. Does he know any flexible people that can help him figure out how to stretch? Probably. Probably. No, he stretches for four hours a day. Oh, really? Yeah. I haven't seen that. He stretches too much. Were you being sarcastic? I was. Damn, dude. I didn't know you had that in you. Yeah, I didn't know that, like, the sarcasm about Paul Skins' stretching routine is. That's a deep cut. You're right. We should not be joking about how you made a joke about that because you were right about it. Yeah. You fucking fooled all of us in this room. Yeah. Like, you had us all. That was good. Thank you. So he stretches too much. Some may say. Who knows? Who knows what it is? Yeah. Say, maybe if he stretches more, the V-level will come back. With the preeminent Paul Skins stretch watch podcast. Okay. Well, I guess. I guess pirates do have runners on base a lot, so that makes sense. Did you guys see that polar bear that puts cones on his head? Made me think of Pirates fans. Remember when they tried to make cones a thing? No, it had nothing to do with any of this. Well, I did see the bear. The bear that was wearing the cones on his head was a true showman. Oh, awesome. It knew what it was doing. He looked like a drunk bear. Yeah, it was great. He just put a bunch of traffic cones on his head. If you gave me four guesses as to what type of bear was putting traffic cones on its head to make viewers laugh, what would you say? I'd laugh at the zoo. Panda won. Panda's won. Brown. I think brown is number two. Black might be even number three. Yeah. And then koala. Yeah, you would never throw. Polar bears are serious guys. They're all business. Yeah. They just fucking kill things. Did he look like he was into it, or it was just routine? Did he know he was putting on a show? No, it looks like he just does it all the time. Oh, nice. Having a great time. Do you know in Alaska, there's certain towns in Alaska where they have to keep their snowmobile, you have to keep it on at all times in case a bear shows up, so you can just jump on it and go. To go? Yeah. Yeah, that's terrifying. It was just a video I saw. It might not be real. Makes sense. Jerry's just in the background getting. Water. He's getting water. Yeah, yeah. We're doing the show. I'm recording where we go. Yeah, yeah. Okay, we're doing a show right now. A live one. How'd Jerry and Terry go? This is the scene we're working with. You know what's crazy is like, so we're on a little trip here, and we're staying in this You'll never guess, in a million years, the theme of my bedroom. Okay. Adam Dunn. Pictures everywhere. Oh, that's sick. Yeah. It was unreal. That's sick. I gotta go check it out. Zach and I haven't done Megabed yet. We gotta do Megabed. That is true. Yet to unite. Zach? Zach Sneaky, that was kind of a weird move you pulled on me last night, where you guys planned on going to a strip club. Yeah, and then I was like, I'm probably not gonna go. And then you came back in the room, and I was like, oh, he's grabbing his stuff. And then, like, 10 minutes went by. I was like, Zach? You're like, yeah? I was like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm about to go to sleep. Yeah, we decided not to go, so I went to bed. I didn't want to. That was, I never, I never heard that. In my head, I was thinking it was just like, not to, I didn't know if you were all the way asleep, but I didn't want to wake you up, because I made that mistake before. Yeah, true, true, true. We had a good, we had a good, good work today. Didn't, not too early? Worked out? Like, I'm having a dream that I'm in Chernobyl with a nuclear reactor going off. It's a, like, fun thing to do. I can change the, the alert. Bomb alarm is a way, you really, you wake up, you do wake up when the bomb alarm goes off. My thought process was, I made sure to lay on it last night. It's like, holy fuck, are we about to die? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You, you laid on your alarm last night? I thought I could body muffle it. Oh, yeah, it was muffled. Yeah, he's right, he's right. I got decent mass, so I thought maybe, like, like a suppressor. Like, yeah. Did you get, like, it was an egg? Yeah. With the hatch? Yeah, kind of, sort of. Yeah, he did suppress it. Appreciate that. So you absorbed, like, did you feel the, the vibration of the sound? That was a big part of getting up. You don't have to do that for me. It, it felt fair. It was fine. It was time to get up anyway. Jerry kept us up, like, we were out here for about two hours last night. He was getting ready to go to the strip club, and he just started telling stories for about two hours. Just incredible stories from Jerry. So good that he didn't even think about the strip club. He was just in the zone. Yeah. You know what's, what's. I learned a lot about the guy last night. You know what's crazy is he told such great stories and had such a great night. He also forgot to give me back the $400 I gave him for the strip club. And also didn't mention that he was just not going to give it back. I want the cash, dude. What'd you do with the cash? I gave you $400 cash. How did you, you spent the cash already? Just give me the cash back. No, I didn't spend the cash. I have the cash. So give me the cash. I don't want you to. I sent the PayPal. But I'd rather have the cash. I'm a cash king guy. Yeah, but I'd rather have the cash too. No, that's not, you can't do that. That's not a good move. That was a good move. No, that's not a good move. Now I have to go to the ATM. Yeah, because now I'm tipping people. I'm the tip. Yes. And now I don't have money to tip people. So I look like a fucking loser. So you literally just use him as an ATM. Yes. He said, I was about to go to bed and he goes, Hey, D, you got any money on you? I'm going to strip club. And I said, I'll let me check. And I said, I have $400 cash here. Take it. He's like, oh, okay. And then this morning I was like, how was the strip club? He's like, oh, I didn't go. He's like, where's my money? Wait, Jerry, did you ever have any intention of going to the strip club or did you just ask him for the 400 bucks? And then you were just like, Zach, I was looking at Zach and it was like, we stay up late. We're late guys. And you're also strip club guys. We're also strip club guys. Yes. And I'm like, put two and two together. Let's do this thing. Right? Then I hit up D and I'm like, D always got cash. Let me hit up D. He got cash, hit up D. And then, and then we went to story. Time. Yes. And then it was over from story time. Everybody disappeared. Also, you, did you ever call the strip club back? Yeah. You're a scumbag. That was a crazy move. He called the strip club in the strip. He was like, what time do you guys close? And the guy was like, usually like three o'clock. But if it's, if there's not a lot of business, we close it like one or two. And Jerry just goes, oh, we'll be bringing business. And then hung up and then never went. We never went. Yeah. All right. So give me the money. Give me the money back. I, I'm not, I need the money to tip people. Okay. But then you, I will send you the money. I don't care, but you give me the cash. Did you already, how much did you cash? I sent, I sent it to you. Yeah. But how much cash did you already spend today? A hundred and tips. So you're just walking around tipping everyone. I can't tip anyone. Exactly. Yeah. That's fucked up. Yeah. But I figured you'd always have more cash. No, I gave you all the cash I had. That's fair. Yeah. Okay. So I'll give you back the cash, but then you got to send me to other. We'll send you back the money. Okay. All right. That was Jerry. That's fair. All right, Zach. And my cool throwing this week is a quick one. It's Cristiano Ronaldo because he did indeed win the big one. Did you guys see that? What? He got married. Love. The biggest one you could win. Oh. Yeah, Georgiano and Cristiano are now wedded together. Consensually? Completely consensual, smiling faces, rings on finger, holy mattress money, and they have a beautiful blended family. What are they doing to the mattress? Mattress money. I mean, they got two biological kids by them. Mattress money. Mattress money. That money's getting fucked. Matrimony. Matrimony. Very cool. Good for him. So the only ring he's going to get. Look, biggest ring you can win is love, man. At the end of the day, if you don't got love, you don't got love. So also, it's very true. Confirm straight, the guy only scores in the box. Big box guy. Pretty scumbag move by a Ronaldo fan to talk about love. I don't know. I mean, Messi had a loss in the family this week. You want to say RP, Mr. Messi? Yeah. I would just like to say, if anybody lost a loved one this week, rest in peace. Okay, thank you. Including, like, specifically Messi. Yeah. Specifically, yes. That would be what you, like, a Ronaldo fan would do. By no means does one, two very separate things, one tragic, one beautiful, rest in peace. Oh, Ronaldo lost, or like, Ronaldo probably was like, oh, Messi lost his father? Let me get married real quick. Steal the story. Well, they plan weddings months in advance. Okay. Fair. All right. Good, good, hot seat, cool throne. Nice hiccup, Max. It was a good hiccup. That was a good hiccup. You act like that was the first time you've heard me hiccup. No, it was a good hiccup. Let's do our Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore is brought to you by our friends at Reese's. Reese's are the best candy in the world. If we did a Mount Rushmore of candy, Reese's would be the best candy in the world. Red wine is purple. Or you have to put purple wine. Here's the question, Max. The expression is, let's open up some grape. What color are grapes? I think they're called red grapes. They say, let's open up some red wine. No, let's open up. So you should put purple wine. No, just wine. I'll give you red wine. I think it's white grapes and red grapes, right? Because white wine certainly isn't purple. Red wine, you could make the argument, is purple. I think that's the argument he's making. Our pick is wine. Hold on. The pick is. I'm Googling it. Red wine is a good pick. Wine can be purple. Yeah. Red wine. Half the scale of wine colors is like deep purple. Okay. What about. I'm just going off color wheel. I'm not Somalia either, but this is Somalia.com. I think wine might be purple. Yeah, no. Red wine's purple. Taco Bell is purple and white. Do you want to take the outer rim of the Taco Bell up? No, it's actually all purple. The logo is purple. The logo is purple and green. Are you just taking. No, I get straight perp. No, you don't. Yeah. You definitely have green on your perp. No, no, no. Yeah, you do. No, not that. Yeah, that's. Show me a picture. Straight perp, yeah. Show me a picture of your straight perp. Yeah. There's definitely other colors in there. Nope. 100%. Maybe some orange hairs. Show me it. Show me it. Show me purple haze. Show me the straight perp that you're smoking. And I'll agree with you. I agree that red wine is purple. Okay. Red wine is purple. Red wine is purple. Red wine is purple. Red wine is purple. It is. Red wine. What are you doing? Oh, what's that green? What's that yellow? That's purple. Yeah, that's other colors. So red wine is the pick? Wine. No, they could have wine. Red wine? Red wine. Red wine. Some people might not know that he's talking about red wine, though. Yeah, it's true. Huh? They might think he's talking about white wine. They'll be like, what? Yeah, they'll be like, wow. Purple wine. No, red wine is definitely purple, but it is red wine. What the fuck do we do now, boys? Um. Run low. One. Five is funny. Five is funny. One. Five. Nah, one is weird. Seven. Eight. Come on, Beams. Get in the fight. Get in the fight. I think eight. You want to go eight? Yeah. Well, no, no, no. He's biased. He is biased. No, this is a very well-recognized thing. He is well-recognized. Sounds like he's biased. All right, take it. Well, you could also do. What about four? You can also do 13. Oh, wow. Nah. Nah. No? Nah. Maybe we'll get some votes just because. Yeah. All right, we'll do Grimace. Grimace. Grimace is very purple. He's as purple as it gets. Yeah. Couldn't be more purple. You okay with that? Because his eyes, I think, might be white. That's fine. You sure? Yeah. Okay. We're not taking red Grimace. We're taking Grimace. Okay. Yeah. You guys taking the shake? We're taking the character. I forgot about the Grimace shake. We're taking the character, but we should have taken the shake. All right. They're out of picks. They took red wine. Yeah. All right. It happens. I'm going to go with the eggplant emoji. Okay. That's a good pick. Eggplant emoji. Got to get horny somewhere. Yeah. I mean, it's iconic. Literally. On the graphic, do you want it to be the. I want the actual emoji itself. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine. Is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm cool with that. Okay. All right. Things we missed. I thought you were going to take purple hoser. I had. You're not a big purple hoser fan. I had him on the list. You would have taken him if you were a big purple hoser fan. Purple hoser from Dude Perfect. Yeah. Purple nurple. Yeah. That's what we were thinking about. We didn't know if you were going to argue about it. Purple nurple. No, it's a good pick. Okay. It's way more purple than. Red wine? Taco Bell. Yeah, red wine. I had purple drink. Purple, I mean. Purple drink we had. Vikings helmet. Yeah. Yeah. I don't understand what Hank is not understanding about Taco Bell logo being purple. Well, you took just Taco Bell. Yeah, it's purple. It's purple. Taco. The logo. You took. But you just took a restaurant. Do you want us to just do the logo like PFT's doing the eggplant emoji? Yeah, do you want us to just put the logo in there? Yeah, we could do the logo. Just order Taco Bell logo. I'll do that if you do red. Red wine. I'm willing to make that trade. Well, no, it should be Taco Bell app. No, I like logo, but logo is better. Do you guys take red wine and we take Taco Bell logo? You like that trade, Zach? If you're in, I'm in. Okay. Deal. He does not like that trade. His eyes lit up. No, that's not fair. That's not fair. Zach, stand up for yourself. I'm in on that trade. Okay. Raven's purple camo pants. Yep, had it. Thought you were going to take it. Yep. Sweet potatoes. Yeah, people forget. Eggplant. Onions. The food. Shane, sorry. Oh, yeah. Purple onions. Donatello. Donatello. Red onions would have been a good pick. Barney, the dinosaur. Yeah. Yep. I think that's all. Max said that was weird. No. You just said that. Barney's not weird. Barney's a very popular children's character. Did Barney do something to you? No. Barney was my guy. No, I'm telling Max. I thought Barney was weird. Max hates Barney. To the list. JJ Reddick and Barney. The Apple podcast app. That was in our app search. The iMovie app. Twitch app. The soundboard app. The Twitch app. Wayfair. The Shopify app. Nugs.net. Nugs. I have Nugs. The iTunes store. I got Nugs. I'm looking. Yeah. Moonshot, whatever that was. Oh, TouchTunes. Oh, TouchTunes. TouchTunes, big miss. TouchTunes, yeah. That would have been a good one. Big miss. The James Madison Dukes. Discord. TCU's Horned Frogs. That's purple. Lavender. I said Willy Wonka, but they said that he's a creep. What? He wears like a big purple, like, he wears a purple suit or something. He's kind of a creep. Orchids. I mean, you have to admit. Tulips. Willy Wonka. Violets. In today's internet. A lot of good flowers, yeah. In today's internet, Willy Wonka would definitely have, like, some dudes rolling up on him at the grocery store and being like, hey, you're a pedophile. Yeah. I mean, he did a contest to invite a bunch of kids to his factory. Yeah. Great point. Yeah. Like that one. Do you guys remember that one pedophile hunters video where the guys threw a pumpkin at the guy's head? Yeah. Yeah. That one was crazy. That's pretty good. That one was crazy. All right. What else? Purple Rain Futures Mixtape. That's a much better pick. Wait, you thought of it? I just Googled it now. But that's what I was thinking of it. We were just sitting there, and Meme just kept on saying, what's the future thing? And Max and I were like, we don't know. He's like, we can't use Google. And we're like, we don't know what you're talking about, dude. He's like, there's a future. So yeah, that. It's a really good mixtape. You should check it out. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's everything. Mewtwo. Pokemon. Oh. GameCube. Wait, what did you say? Mewtwo. Mewtwo? Mewtwo feels pretty purple. I didn't know what Mewtwo was. I thought it said YouTube. Thoughts on the Frosted Animal Crackers? The what? Frosted Animal Crackers. Yeah. Yeah. Those are good. Those are good. What about like Grape Jolly Rancher? Yeah. Grape Soda. Lean. Yeah, he's a purple giant. That's purple. Purple. That's a tough color to do. Purple. Purple. Waluigi. Purple. There's a movie, but that was another one we couldn't think of. Yeah, Color Purple. Color Purple, yeah. None of us had seen it, so whoops. Not really a light watch. Okay. Pretty intense. Are you going to see Stand By Me before Barstool Camp? I guess. All right, so that's a no. I will. Again. Again. Again. For a second time. All right, good Mount Rushmore. All right, we got John Gruden, and then we're going to finish with part of your take. Before we get to Coach Gruden, he's brought to you by EA Sports. 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We've had one incident. He missed a flight. Oh, what happened there? We disciplined him. He doesn't. Oh. But other than that, he's been stellar. He's gotten better. You know, good attitude and very good work ethic and creativity. Imagination is very, very impressive. What about some of the rumors and allegations that occasionally there will be a tweet or something posted from your account and it's very much pro UVA? Yeah. Or very much. Yeah. Pro lacrosse allegations that it might be ghostwritten by Jake Malasek and not necessarily signed off, but he has just a random highlight of Jake Malasek playing beer league hockey. Exactly. He's encouraged me to coach the beer league hockey team. I have become a lacrosse fan. So he has helped me transition into a bigger perspective in life. But it's all been cool, man. It's all been very good and rejuvenating for me. Okay. The very important question. If you and we love you at Barstool, we never want you to leave because I really do think you have done a great job. You at Barstool has been like just home run. Incredible. You're buying just every being around you talking football. It's just the best. But if let's just say, hypothetically, you got a job coaching football again, is Jake Malasek going with you? Jake would be the first guy gone, man. You know, you're untouchable. You two guys are untouchable. Malasek. I had a coach's assistant who set the travel for the team. You know, he helped put the schedules in place. He thought outside the box, gave me some creative ideas. You got to have another guy. Yeah. It's like your eyes in the back of your head, a guy that can help motivate you and encourage you. You got to have that guy. Well, he's in. He's part of my family. This is like an adopted son now. Okay. So, I mean, he's become a very valuable asset to my wife and I and my sons. I love to hear that. Where would you rank Justin Herbert in your top 100 players right now? He's not in my top 100 until. Until they win a playoff game. I'm just not happy with the yellow pants. He knows how I feel about their uniforms. I hate the Chargers to start with. It's my least favorite team, the Falcons and the Chargers, for obvious reasons. I cannot stand the uniforms. And that's the only thing that irritates me about Jake is his allegiance to the Chargers. But he doesn't even have. When the top 100 came out, Malasek, I think Justin Herbert was ranked 39th. And Malasek said 38 spots too high. Oh, wait. So that means he should have been 77. How does Jake answer these? I mean, go ahead. I debated that phrasing for an hour. And you still got it wrong. You still just blew it. You lost that debate. He's higher up on the list than one. Coach, let me ask you this. Have you ever had a quarterback that canoodles with his girlfriend after practice? I have not had that. Okay. What did you think? Is it too much canoodling? I just think there's a time and a place for this. Yeah. You know, I think. Yeah. I don't know. I have a real. I'm an old school coach. It's not the old time anymore. I understand that. You're a Joe Burrow fan though, yeah? They had a little bit more separation. They weren't canoodling the same strength. Just saying. Okay. I don't know. It seems like the Chargers were talking about the new offensive coordinator's shoes and his pants he wears instead of the real shit that matters. Yeah. You know, and that's typical for Malasek and where he comes from. He's had a silver spoon in his mouth quite a long time. Let's talk about some of the stuff that matters with the Chargers. I know you hate the uniform. You hate the canoodling. You hate the Malasek fixation. But when it comes to the offense, I feel like McDaniel's been a pretty good offensive coordinator in the past. Like his offenses, even when he was a head coach in Miami and going back to the times in San Francisco, the man can coach. He can coach offense. So I think there's reason to believe in him. Well, I mean, his first year, they were number one in the league in offense. Right. 70 points against the Denver Broncos. Everybody remembers that. But it's been a slow decline every year. They paid Tua $250 million under his watch. And Tua was kicked out of town. So you have to take responsibility where responsibility is due. And the bottom line is they didn't get better. They got worse for whatever the reason. And I'm just saying, it just sounds like we're talking uniforms. girlfriends combing their hair coaches and their shoes and their capri pants they wear instead of joe alt at right tackle is he healthy christian slater is he going to come off the ball and maul people is the new center going to kick people's ass and i want to know about o'marian hampton what happened to all these chargers yeah that got hurt last year every player was hurt these are all good i want to know yeah all right so i have a question for you about training camp because we're deep into training camp right now as a football coach and you coached a super bowl winning team you coached some teams that you know finished not great how quickly can a coach figure out like this is a special team or holy shit we're going to be in for it this year we're going to get we're going to be uphill battle all year long i think pretty quick is it like the first week of training camp that you're like all right we don't have the guys or we got them i think after you go through the otas before training camp starts you're going to be in for it this year we're going to be in for it this year we're going to be in for it you know we got a pretty good team yeah we got some depth we got some guys that can rush the pastor and close out the game on defense we got a quarterback we got some continuity we have a good staff we have some mental toughness we have what we need to really be a factor every week in late season so i think you got a pretty good idea or you're a coach that says holy cow man it's a problem you know we got to develop this we got to put this fire out we hope this comes through and you know that's that's the reality of several teams that i know of right now and and in terms of mental toughness what is what how do you like gain it as a team is it just trial by fire is it you have to go through the wars to get that mental toughness or is it something that you can you know simulate so to speak in training camp to get them to a point where it's like this team now feels mentally tough i think you got to coach it i think you got to really talk about misery and adversity they're our best friend you got to let them know that we love when it's hot we love when it's hot we love the negativity in the media you got to really train your team and talk about adversity and it really does help when you have a nucleus of players that are badasses that you know are savages that will be there for you when you're down 10 points when the fourth quarter starts yeah guys that are clutch i call them grinders gruding grinders they're versatile they're they can adapt they're relentless they're clutch and they're mentally tough yeah and some guys aren't they're not they're not they're not and some guys aren't and the way we're training young people now is a concern because they're taking the best offer they're transferring colleges but i think you got to recruit that you got to develop that you got to have that if you're going to be a championship team is jk gruden grinder he is a grinder without the ease yeah that's all right i give malicek a hard time i do love him and i think he works very hard i think we need to turn this conversation you see that book right there yeah look at these two rock stars i wrote a book can you believe it worry yeah we the only thing we worry about is we're in florida we're just a branch the bar stool is like this huge redwood tree and we're just a little tiny branch off to the right important you two guys you're mighty you're the big reason that i i really wanted to come here i mean i i like the way we do things yeah but now i see this coming off the portnoy book i know and i've started to think i don't know man is this is this is this are we a book company now have you read the book you've written a book well after we won the super bowl yeah okay hold on is this what is the book what is the uh what is the genesis i like that everything you like everything about barstool but now you're like well this might be too many books how many times did you use the one vowel in there that i the i vowel how many we're gonna count them we did a lot of we and we did do a lot of we it's actually i would say it's probably way more we than i in that book and it also listen it wasn't it wasn't uh the easiest task to write a book we're not the smartest guys me and jake flew in we had a tough flight we got bombarded we had delays we're on this show and the first thing we see is that that book well it's book week next week so we got to get everyone ready buy on amazon could we get an explanation like what is this book about yes 10 year anniversary 10 years of doing part of my take so essentially it's actually great promo thank you for doing this uh how to create a number one podcast for 10 years uh and they're very specific uh rules like you know uh have kyle wiltshire come on the show and say that adam morrison has an apocalypse bunker within the first few months like things that you can definitely repeat for all the young podcasters out there but no it's cool it's it's it's our it's pft our relationship when we first met getting hank involved barstool van talk covid and then we got a bunch of our favorite people uh right in who've been on the show for a decade you know jj watt scott van pelt all these guys wrote chapters so we got these guys memes max wrote a chapter hank wrote a chapter yeah i have my 10 rules to gambling in there i did a list uh top 10 list of the best fullbacks of all time i did my parenting advice that's all three dollars and 99 yep there it is you can steal it there it is and we got don't worry we got listen this book is meant to be read on the shitter because we made the chapters as small as short as possible uh quick stories so it's not gonna hurt anyone the pages are soft so if you run out of tp just rip it out we actually made a toilet paper page yeah that's awesome yeah yeah pretty good specifically i encourage everybody to get that thank you thank you i remember the first time i got on your show honestly and it was like you have to come on at three o'clock or we can't get you on for another seven and a half weeks i mean people don't understand it is hard to get on this show yeah that's right and i mean there's there's political people there's high shot hot shots from different walks of life yeah what you guys have done for me is i've been on the show for a long time and i've been on the show for 10 years it's thank you thanks we need to try to yeah thanks we need to try to do more to go and we are in and we're a testament to you can do it uh you can have this success by being still be mentally weak because we are mentally weak we'll fold shop the minute we hit adversity if we hit a little adversity we'll be like all right we'll try again tomorrow i'm looking forward to seeing how you uh you and your brother doing the podcast are you guys going to do a podcast together what's what's the show yeah we're having our own show kind of like the show we did last year with fred smooth yep love the football case he's gonna come down be the host love it jake's gonna help produce it and tom and we're gonna try to give the fans some real technical stuff a little bit we're also gonna switch gears and try to make it funny we're gonna try to make it like a team meeting you know stir the emotions try to make you laugh try to get you fired up tick you off but uh try to make it really hard hardcore football and uh try to share share the game with the fans i love that all right so let's talk some football uh which team are you highest on right now when you're going through all your previews and you're and you're and you're breaking down each division which team are you looking at and you're like you know what this team i feel like this might be a special year i mean you can't you can't go against seattle they have everybody back yeah that guy mcdonald's a hell of a coach they didn't lose a lot of players the guys they did lose they tried to replace in the draft john schneider the gm he just continues to add to his hall of fame resume every move he makes is a great move but the rams it's almost like the dodgers do they have a salary cap yeah i mean how you know people say gruden you didn't want khalil mack bullshit you know a lot of it has to do with the financial implications that you don't have control of over as as a coach but for them to get miles garrett trent mcduffie and then go get jaylen watson the other starting corner yep and now aaron donald's working out yeah and you already have a 60 million dollar quarterback who you restructured again you got uh davante adams i mean they got a lot of players that are going to be playing in the rams you got a lot of great players i don't know how they're not in it the superbowl's in la i think you got to go with the rams seahawks in the nfc championship on a rewind and in the afc i think it's anybody's game it's wide i don't know what joe brady and buffalo's gonna do they added some defensive players i like denver they got everybody back yep you got mahomes and andy reed they're just kind of waiting in the wings but i think the afc is a lot more wide open than the nfc what do you think you mentioned the uh the seahawks and how they're bringing just about everybody back kenneth walker is one piece that they're not bringing back superbowl mvp help them win the superbowl then the team gets sold for what nine billion dollars and they're like yeah see you later uh adios we'll send you a ring hope you enjoy the superbowl ring but we can't give you another contract probably made hundreds of millions of dollars just the fact that they won the superbowl and equity for for the people that sold um but he was a big part of that offense especially charbonnet goes down and he looks like yeah he can be the back there um how big of an impact is that going to be on the seahawks i think it is big but they re-signed charles cross at left tackle they gave jackson smith and jigba big money he's great they gave rashid shaheed a ton of money they drafted the kid from notre dame behind jeremiah love this kid named emmanuel wilson from green bay he was a understudy to josh jacobs but he has a thousand yards the last two years and if you have a great they got a great offensive line they got a great offensive line now they got a good offensive line they got a very good tight end it can block so i think seattle's in a good space kenneth walker and charbonnet shared the backfield they shared the snaps charbonnet will be back week six or week seven yeah but uh kenneth walker's a good back he's obviously not real happy in kansas city he seems to be fighting every week with his teammates yeah he's a hell of a back so when it comes to um to teams that you've coached over the years has there been a team that you've gotten it wrong on in training camp where you thought this team was going to be you know it's going to be a long season we're going to have to scrap it out we don't have the guys or conversely a team that you were very very high on everything looked great that you can look back and be like i had that wrong for some reason and it ended up the expectation was completely different from reality once the once the meaningful game started well after we won the super bowl in tampa i thought we were going to come back and repeat i really did we had everybody back we had a really good team but you lose mike allstott joe jurevicius on the play for the season in the second game of the year you lose shelton quarles your middle linebacker on a punt drill during practice you know injuries that next man up stuff they talk about that's a crock of crap yeah you know like if you go out if you miss a week of work this show you have isn't as good yeah he misses a week it's not as good you know you can't replace the top flight guys it is not here goes golf everything's fine you know max i know a lot of people don't know what's going on with the team but i think it's going to be a but you know exactly what i'm saying there's certain guys on this team the philadelphia eagles they lose lane johnson yeah and all of a sudden you know hertz isn't seeing things the same way you know the running plays don't look the same off the right side you don't replace certain guys you don't replace simeon rice you don't replace allstott jurevicius you just don't replace them like that did you do any uh qb tears in the offseason do we have qb tears from coach gruden do you want to maybe give it to him i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know your top five in the whole league yeah whole league well i you know the top five quarterbacks stafford's amazing i mean when you look at the tape i swear to god i'm looking at that twisted t right there he'll throw it over there and hit hank right in the nuts i mean stafford's throws his um his ability in the pocket can make can make you just gasp for breath he's he's phenomenal um i love joe burrow i'm not gonna you know i'm not gonna i love josh allen i love those guys you know what about a court all right so let me because these are these are my homes what about a quarterback that you think might make a leap this year i think caleb williams i mean he might have made it last year you you didn't believe in him you finally came around i did believe in him you finally came around i believe in their coach yeah i think their coach is a hell of a coach you know the best thing i've seen the whole offseason because i like to study what's really bad and what's really good really bad what the hell are they doing and what's really good why why is it so good the coolest thing i saw with the chicago bears running game you know you need to really dig into it how they block the back side you need to really get to know jackson and darn l right on they should put darn l right under investigation for killing people this guy comes off the ball and he kicks people's ass i love that and this manung guy guy yeah get me manung guy i take four manung guys on my team he runs like it's the last play of his life uh i i love their tight ends they can use three at a time i really think old school football's coming back into play i agree the rams are under the center the seattle seahawks are under the center the bears are under the center and they're smashing people and their play action passing game is top notch did you see that ben johnson slept uh he got caught sleeping over in the office in like june i believe not even during training camp would that how often were you doing that i don't know it sounds logical to me though i mean you know when you when you were really in your in your wheelhouse i think he's got the personnel he's got a dunzey this this luther guy yeah uh from missouri that guy he's a he's like their new amon ross saint brown i mean this guy's he's a savage man he'll go in there and block he's quick he can get down the seam he can run double moves they have a hell of a team this this kid they got from michigan colson loveland the defense the defense can you get a pass rush do they have the fourth quarter pass rush close you out yeah now they did they did show They show it a lot, but can they go to L.A.? Could they go to L.A. in the NFC Championship game and beat the Rams in that dome? Yeah. That's a totally different story. Yeah. Yeah. Let me ask, who's coming in here? Zach's coming in with the ice cream. Because you forgot the ice cream earlier. Zach, why don't you swap out with Malasek after you get the groceries? I'd like to hear what you, yeah, walk us through what you got. Actually, bring the groceries over. Well, no, put the ice cream in. I want to hear his explanation about what you got. The ice cream's probably melting right now, big time. Okay. Yeah. Good point. Coach, last year, Patriots make the Super Bowl. Was last year a flash in the pan? Were they a product of the schedule? Or are you believing that the Patriots are going to be back making a deep run this year? I think the quarterback is a great player. You know, you were talking quarterbacks. He's got to be in the top five. I mean, he had matched that. Top five. I think you have ten guys in your top five. I gave you four. You didn't let me finish. So you put Drake Mays, Solomar Jackson out. Well, right now. I mean. Wow. Okay. You know, Lamar's been injured. Lamar, you know, I love Lamar. But when you look at Drake Mays, man, I mean, this guy runs for 800 yards. This guy's got mobility, man. And he has Josh McDaniels. And when you add A.J. Brown to the mix, watch out now. A.J.'s not going to be standing over there reading a book on the left side of the formation. He's going to be in motion. They're going to put him in his lap. It was a problem in Philly. McDaniels wants to take this trade. You don't have a mic. He wants to stick this trade up everybody's you-know-what. He wants to prove, okay, I'll show you what I can do with a great receiver. So, Zach, come on in. I think, before Zach, real quick, one of the most interesting stories, at least in the AFC, to me, is the Texans. Because the defense is as good as we've seen in a very long time. Like, just absolute killers on that defense. Yeah. C.J. Stroud, when he gets to the league, lit the world on fire for a year. And then it just hasn't looked the same. Are you buying long-term C.J. Stroud? Do you think that he's as good as what we saw his rookie year? Or do you think it's going to be? And it might be. Their defense might be good enough. When, with him just being a game manager, do you expect him to take another step? Or is his ceiling like, yeah, he might be just a good game manager? That's a great point. I think he's one of the biggest decisions of the year in the NFL. I mean, when you watch that Patriot game from the very first play, what the hell's going on here? Right. It didn't look like it was championship level throwing the ball. And other than Nico Collins, you know, who is their skill, guys? I know they got David Montgomery now. Tankdale is back. Well, he hasn't played in two years. You know, let's see. You know, can they go outside the dome and win with their offense? Can they come from behind when they're down by 10? They will inevitably have to prove that Stroud and this offense can win the game. I just think there are so many quarterbacks in the AFC. You can start in the AFC West and go across the land. I have not seen him get better. I've seen him level off. And it is a concern for me if I'm a Texas. All right. Question for you from a coaching philosophy standpoint. You got a let's let's say you got a young star player and they're young and they're in. They have all the promise in the world. OK. And you're trying to get them to do one thing specifically. And you tell them over and over, hey, you got to do this thing. And they keep messing up that one thing. How many times do you let them mess up that one thing? Before you're like, all right, we got to find something else. Well, then they're not a star player. Well, no, but they are. Well, very rarely do you have that conversation with you're talking about a star player. You know, they they solve the mystery pretty quick. OK. But if it's a repeated mistake and you're forcing the ball into cover to or you're not seeing the checks or you're missing wide flares. Or not buying the ice cream for the house. I've said it a long time. There's a big difference between good and great. You know. I know this better than anybody. There's a great show that you've had and there's a good show, but there's a big difference. Yeah. All right. So if there's a guy that like showed up to training camp in a hot air balloon, you thought this guy was going to hang the moon. He was a great player, though. But then he was a great player. I would have done anything for that guy. That guy. Yeah. I was in love with Antonio. I was in love with him. But I felt he's a bit of a character. But if I put him in our locker room, got him around our system, I thought he could make everything dance. I thought we could live a long life together. And listen, I was wrong. Yeah. That's what we're. That's what we're going through right now. With Zach. I mean, Zach is a great player. Well, you drafted coach. I've told Zach one thing. When we go on the road, I need ice cream in the freezer. I got back today from a long day. There was no ice cream in the freezer. Well, that's not good. What's your answer for that? Go get the ice cream. You know, but even though you're in the middle of nowhere and you don't know where you are, you've never been here and you've never driven the car. You don't know where the car is. And Dan wants. His ice cream. What do you. How do you handle that pressure? We find the most capable guy behind the wheel and we hit your ride and we go find that. And then you did. So he did. What did you get? We got. So we read the ball a little bit when cookies and cream and cookie dough. We went to chocolate and then we also got a mint chip. Oh, you crushed it, Zach. And then just like some sprinkles and some Reese's Pieces, you know, just like. See, he always he always delivers. It just might take a little bit of time. I'm speechless. I. Do you ever look at him and you think like that's that's the one that got away. We do watch that quite a bit back in Tampa. And we're so proud of you because he's from Florida. Yeah, he's a Bucs fan through and through. Yeah, we're going to try to work him out where he can come back and be a part of our. Well, that's tampering. You're tampering. You're tampering. And also, I don't know if you like ice cream, but you won't have any in your freezer if you bring him back. He's one that got away. You know, you you feel good as a coach when you discover somebody, you develop the guy, his contract. You know, somebody else takes him from you, but you feel great for his success. Yeah. And he is the he is the best. I give him the excitement that we have for you and your career. That was a terrible. He's pounded again. Sitting in one of these chairs soon. Pound it again, Zach. You are on that back there. I also will say that, like, I like to give him a hard time just on a trivial thing like ice cream. He doesn't mess up important things. So, yeah, I just need my ice cream. Zach, do you have a question for coach about football? I do. I know later this month you and Ronnie Barber me back in the booth. What are your thoughts? Any thoughts going into that? Have you done any preparation to get back on the mic and call the game? And how's how are you feeling going into that? I'm really nervous, honestly. Thanks for asking. But we August 17th are having our first real production meeting on your birthday. Yep. Happy birthday. PFT. There you go. We all have our favorite. We all have our favorite player. And my favorite player was always Rondé Barber. But who's the play by play guy? There is a cadence. It's second. It's seven. Here comes the Chiefs. Garrett Nussbauer hands the ball. So there is a certain degree of, you know, who's who's dribbling the ball. Who's when are we passing it? We've never been together live in a booth, but we are celebrating. We are part of the Buccaneers broadcast. That's awesome. And Chris Myers is the play by play guy. He's a great play by play guy. He can't be there. And I'm filling in for Chris Myers technically. But I'm not Chris Myers. I'm yeah, I'm a color guy. I've always been over there like, yeah, I was a good. Pass. Yeah. You know, nice catch by by cats. But now I'm eating a banana out of a out of a blender up there. It's preseason. We want to talk about like, who are the guys that are on the cusp of making the team? Who are the new coaches? You know, we got a new play by play guy for Tampa Bay Radio. Yeah. So we're going to try to get the fans excited about this 2026 Tampa Bay team. And I think we got a lot of good stuff, man. If we can get Vita V back out there and that's a big if. Yeah, we'll get him out there. We get get Baker re-signed. Everything's going to be. I was out there at practice last week. They got a lot of talent, man. And they're healthy. Yeah. And you've never done play by play before. No. But when I was doing Monday Night Football. No, wait, that's. Wait, did you do play by play when you watch us like throw the ball around and look like assholes on the field? I did. The only play by play I did was at the Super Bowl in a flag football. And Mincy made a great touchdown. But, you know, when I was doing Monday Night Football, people don't realize this. Frank Gifford did the play by play. He wasn't the color guy. Yeah. And I loved him so much. He was my favorite broadcaster ever. And, you know, I did kind of come out, say, I'm going to get to do a couple plays of play by play. And as soon as I said that, my phone rang. It was Mike Tirico. He goes, you think it's that easy, huh? Yeah, that's great. But anyways, it's kind of exciting to be back up there, be reunited with my old team and to share the three or four hours with the Hall of Famer. Like Rondé Barber, it's pretty cool. What other camps have you gone to? I know you're going to Oklahoma, but have you been to any other camps or any programs the last couple of months? I've been to Tampa Bay, been to, we're going to Oklahoma this weekend, see Coach Venables and Mateer, quarterback. I'm really excited about Jason Witten at tight end. We might stop at Arkansas on the way. Nice. I'm going to go speak at Georgia Southern. Clay Helton's the head coach. Okay. Excited about that. I'm going to go to Youngstown, Ohio for the Ohio State. Michigan, the rivalry golf tournament with a lot of legendary players. Okay. So I'm going to do that. I'll probably slide up to Jacksonville maybe, but I like to get these preseason tapes. Yeah. And study the rookies, study the second year players. Which one are we on right now? Which division are we on right now? Well, we're starting with the AFC East. Okay. But I got pulled away there. We have this event we have to do. Yeah. All right. So have you looked at the AFC East at all? Yeah. Is there any hope for. for the Jets. Yes, sir, it is. Okay, give it to us. Positive Jets talk. All these people that criticize Aaron Glenn, no way. He's doing the same thing out there that Dan Campbell did with the Lions. You know, you've got to restore the roar before you can kick the dough down. They got rid of some players that, for whatever reason, high picks, too. The defensive end from Florida State's gone. Quentin Williams is gone. He's bringing in his own guys. I know Geno Smith makes people roll their eyes, but two years ago, he's in the Pro Bowl. They're going to be competitive. They brought in DeMario Davis at linebacker, Minka Fitzpatrick. They brought in some guys now that have that mental toughness thing we're talking about. They got a hell of an offensive line now. If you watch these guys come out of the tunnel, they will kick your ass. They're all first-round draft choices. And Brees Hall will slam it down your face. And now it's just not Garrick Wilson. They got this Sharique the Freak guy from Oregon, and they got another first-round. Pick from Indiana, another receiver who I like. And I'm telling you, Frank Reich running the offense, the AFC East, the Patriots went from 4-13 to the Super Bowl. The Bears went from 4-13 to the NFC Championship game. Or one game before. Miami's got a whole new team. I just think the Jets, give the guy a chance. Wow. Give the guy a chance. I like that. Memes is up there. Are you feeling this? I mean, that is the beauty of the NFL. You can turn a team around. You can turn a team around like that in a year. Like, it is why we love the league. Yeah. And it's actually kind of, I think it's what's missed when everyone talks about, oh, the NBA is trying to have the parity that the NFL has, where they have whatever it is. Now we're on eight different champions in eight years. That's not what the parity that the NFL has. The parity the NFL has is that you can be the worst team, and then the next year you can win your division. Like, that's the beauty of the NFL. I agree. You sell the hope of, like, hey, we could turn this around. You could go from worst to first. It happens almost every year. Every year. Yeah. Between you and your brother, are you going to let your brother say nice things about the Commanders, or are you going to be a hater again? I like what the Commanders did. I did the NFC East preview. Yeah. I mean, you got Owe, you got Dorrance Armstrong coming back. Defense is a lot younger. A lot. How about Sonny Stiles at linebacker? They get, I love Chanel from Kansas City. Yeah. And the kid they got, safety, cross from the Indianapolis, Colts. He's a big-time player, man. Talk to me about cross, because I haven't heard that much about him. Shit, he's got 200 tackles the last two years. He can play in the box. He can play in the post. He's a hell of a player. If you call people in Indianapolis and ask, what's the biggest loss? They're going to tell you it's Nick Cross. He's a heck of a player, and that solidifies a horrible thing for the Redskins or the Commanders last year. They gave up so many big plays, and they got to figure out what they're doing with Quan Martin. He's a good player, but there's something missing last year. So I also love their new D coordinator. He comes in from Minnesota. Yeah. They're going to present the illusion of blitz every single play, and they won't disappoint you. They will bring the house now. But a lot of times they'll run out of there and play all kind of mysterious coverages. I'm excited about the East. I think they're better. Yeah. What about the Cowboys? Because everyone talks, I mean, the Cowboys offense should be incredible. Everybody says Gruden likes everybody. Well, this time of year, everybody's undefeated, damn it. They're all undefeated. The Cowboys getting downs and getting the kid Jalen Thompson from Arizona. They got two good safeties now and overshown is a big time linebacker. And then they go out and they get the kid D Winters from the 49ers who had 120 tackles. They're better there. They draft Malachi Lawrence in the first round. They've got some young rushers. If their defense is competitive with this offense, they got all 11 starters back. Yeah. And Dak is a hell of a player, man. He threw for 4600 yards. You do love everyone. And I love Pickens, man. And I love CD and Ferguson's a good Titan. Jamonte Williams, 1200 yards, the Cowboys are they're going to score 27 points a game. So who's the team you don't love in the East? The Giants. I think the Giants are going to struggle. What about the Eagles? Well, I think the Eagles are damn good because of Fangio. They're going to play good defense. They will play good defense. They get Jalen Carter's contract. They got Davis back. They get the kid from the Texans and the Vikings. What's his name? That? Crusher. Grenard. Jonathan Grenard. He's hurt. They get Rick Wollin from the Seattle Seahawks to address the other corner, which was a real problem. You know, you got Quinion Mitchell on one side. Now you got Rick Wollin on the other. You still got the kid from Iowa in the slot. They're a handful on defense. Renard's injured. Yeah. They think he should be ready for week one, but he's not playing right now. How about the offense? The offensive line is healthy. Who is Sean Mannion? That's what we got to find out. We got a brand new according to he had a brand new offensive coordinator. What evil genius, evil genius, evil genius, evil genius. He's been in the FFCA. I love Mannion. I think Jalen Hurts has to buy into a new way of doing business. Get out of the shotgun, get underneath the center. It's a perfect year for Jalen Hurts for sure. Let's get the ball to Saquon Barkley. Let's get the running game going. It is true. You're talking about these, and I'm thinking about who I'm high. I think. Pretty much 90% of the league is going to be good this year because I was thinking about it. Like the NFC East. I do think the Cowboys are going to be good. The Eagles are going to be good. I think the commanders are going to be better. Yeah, sure. Throughout the Giants, the NFC North. I think the Lions are going to have a bounce back year. I'm waiting for them a little. I don't know who they have on defense. They've got a lot of holes on. What about this take I had on Sunday night, which I don't think is very controversial. But if JJ McCarthy can't beat out Kyler Murray, you have to trade him. I would argue McCarthy not to compare him to Trey Lance, but I remember Bill Walsh. He taught me a long time ago, the great coach of the 49ers. We do not save bad ideas. We don't really care when we draft players. We don't care what round you come in. Now, the 49ers were fortunate to get Brock Purdy in the last pick of the draft. The 49ers used three number one picks for Trey Lance. He was gone within two years. Yeah. If they had stayed with them and stayed with them, they would have been better to Brock Purdy and the 49ers might have a different head coach and a whole nucleus of players. But if you don't beat out Kyler Murray, you got to justify getting rid of Sam Darnold first and getting rid of Daniel Jones. They love Daniel Jones in Indianapolis. Yeah. So I'm really concerned about the north. I think the Bears are clearly the best team in my opinion. Do you ever pay attention to strength of schedule? Because it looks like the Lions have a pretty easy schedule this year. I know you can't really count wins ahead of time, but it's breaking favorably for him right now. I don't think they play an outdoor game in a cold weather city until the last game of the season. And I don't know. I just believe in Dan Campbell. I feel like he can get things turned around. It's not like it went completely off the rails last year. Yeah, no, I believe in Dan Campbell, but they got a new right tackle. Penay Sewell's playing left tackle. That's right. They got a rookie playing right tackle. I don't know this offensive line. It's not the same offensive line Ben Johnson won with. If David Montgomery is gone, they've got a new offensive coordinator who's coming in there from Arizona. That's their third coordinator in three years. Their defensive line, other than Hutch, they don't really have any juice. They don't have a lot of recognizable forces. In my opinion, they might want to look into Max Crosby. They might want to get in the Max Crosby business. Can I ask you because I love that Bill Walsh quote you gave us. Could you give us a couple other lessons you learned from different maybe Mike Holmgren or Andy Reid or someone else along the way because I love that stuff. Yeah, well, what was Mike Holmgren's big thing if it were Mike Holmgren? He would walk down the hall, he's six foot six. He would walk down the hall, he would look in all our offices to see if we were working. He'd go down there and go for a walk or go to the restroom, come back. He wouldn't talk to us because that's an intense environment. He'd look in your office, if you're not working, he's going to have a conversation with you. He'd be, hey, cats. I've walked by your office nine times and six out of the nine times, you're not even looking at tape. You got to accumulate knowledge. The accumulation of knowledge is a powerful thing. Now, go get me some goddamn knowledge, you know, but that, you know, when you're at work, you're working. Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people that work are, they're just there. Some staffs are probably just there. Other staffs are out working you. Yeah, he wanted our staff to lead the league and working and finding ideas, developing thoughts. And he, he was, he was really big on that. Yeah, did you ever go to him and say, hey, coach, I think we should take the ping pong table out of the locker room? Did you ever do that, take the pong table out? Rich Gannon would do that. Gannon would steal the pool balls. You know, Rich Gannon would sit in a quarterback meeting. I loved him. He single-handedly turned the Raiders around. We had a great, you know, a lot of these teams have great facilities. They got barbershops and video games. Rich Gannon, he'd be in a quarterback meeting. We're going over the Kansas City table. The Kansas City Chiefs, third down pressure package. He hears all these balls, his guys, you know, again, with 20 bucks, you missed his shot. He, he, he goes in and steals all the pool balls, hides them, puts them underneath the table somewhere. No one can play pool anymore. I love that. What about, what about a guy like Ray Rhodes? Ray Rhodes was the best with the players. He, he, he, uh, God bless Ray Rhodes. I mean, I, I sat in his secondary meetings with the 49ers for a year and then I worked for him for three years in Philly, the way he talked to a player, uh, he could undress you, I mean, just rip you a new one and make you laugh he had this unbelievable ability to motivate you um and make you come back for more you look forward to going in the building with ray rhodes you really you really did yeah and he was great great with his players on the grass some guys they just walk around with a whistle and you know they slap your hand while you're stretching ray rhodes man he had a presence on the grass that was his that was his laboratory he was awesome i got one more question for you and then maybe we'll call it an exercise but my my last question is about the saints so we went down there we met with kellen moore hank farted during the interview it was a big thing tmz wrote about it yep uh but we found out we were down there that kellen moore gives out like six sometimes 10 game balls a game yeah he's a big game ball guy how many game balls is too many game balls to give away you know i remember there were times after we beat the steelers in pittsburgh everybody gets a game ball the whole team yeah we beat baltimore on the last play of the game everybody gets a game ball you know the the manager of the team's like god dang you know uh there is nothing like winning man and still today there's times i swear if you come down to the ffca i've got balls everywhere i look at the balls that i've kept the game balls that i've had stamped i can remember them like yesterday yeah um so there is a certain sticker that you get for your helmet you know if you rush for 100 yards or no turnovers or you tackle inside to 20 those those things um that's what what motivates the player sometimes more than the money okay they'll do anything for a game ball they'll do anything for that kind of recognition in front of their teammates that's what i really miss the most about coaching okay i like it you talked me into it all right you got an exercise exercise all right so we'll do the rowback exercise r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com promo code take 20 off your first purchase q-zips polos hoodies and sneakers and sneakers and sneakers and sneakers and sneakers and sneakers and sneakers hoodies joggers shorts rowback makes the best gear out there i'm wearing the shorts right now rowback.com promo code take uh this has been so much fun we'll finish with the exercise because you've you've been very nice to give us your time we love having you on so so you're gonna give it a shot to be a play-by-play guy for the first time well yeah non yeah non mincey related content yeah but you're gonna try it so let's let's take it for a spin i pulled up a random play okay an you just do play-by-play on this plan uh you can see at the bottom i'm not sure which i just pulled up a random play okay chicago and washington's 15 12 bears we know what this is all right it's 15 12 bears we got a cell phone here i can barely see it but caleb back to pass jayden no it's jayden daniels back to pass hopping hopping hopping scrambling there goes daniels looking to his right under back to his left his towels dangling he fires no he doesn't he pumped it he still got it he fires it down the middle of the field he's back to his left he's back to his left he's back is it t-mac it's a tip it's caught touchdown redskins commanders football team whatever the hell they call themselves dan quinn just pulled a hamstring jumping up and down and they are going crazy in washington all 16 000 fans that made it to maryland to watch the washington football team win this game wow what a horseshit job by the bears on defense that was great i'll take your natural we'll do one more we'll do one more no i think we're good we're good we're good we already did the rowback exercise this is great we can't do two rowback exercises yeah all right here we go who's playing here okay the commanders have the ball they got a tight formation pistol formation jayden daniels waiting for the snap we have a technical delay here with dan katz phone oh wow it's a slow motion it's a duo play off the left side look at cosme on the back side it's a poor handoff it's a bad exchange it's a bad exchange it's a bad exchange it's a fumbled and the chicago bears are gonna recover the fumble and win this game horrible horrible horrible football here by washington now i the first one was better the rowback we never do two rowback i got i got i got one more for you hold on uh zach ask a question real quick uh coach uh let's go over to uh california real quick we'll go or no i take it back not california we're gonna go to the raiders coach quick question there was a scuffle on the field a little bit earlier this week max crosby kirk cousins there's a conspiracy out there coach that they might have gotten to this fight because one guy wants another younger quarterback to get all the good reps is there validity to stuff like that going on in practice are guys like kind of shaking and moving trying to you know put other dudes in positions when they want maybe the elder guys they don't see to do the job fit kind of out the way is there validity to this or is this all fan fiction well i think after being with max when you're the head coach you have one number one rule is stay away from the who quarterback do not get near the quarterback if your quarterback gets hurt on your practice field somebody is going to get fired i mean these quarterbacks are making 50 60 million so stay away from the what there's one guilty party every week and it's the same guy it's number 99 98 max crosby he's always around a quarterback he's always winning his one-on-ones he's always in the face of the quarterback and i'm sure he's going to get fired because he's going to get that had a lot to do with it probably the coaches are saying stay away from the quarterback crosby i remember don't bat the ball down or we'll cut your ass and matt mac max thought we were going to cut him i meant to say we were going to cut your legs out and chop you so you land on your face but i think a lot of that has to do with crosby getting near the quarterback and perhaps cousins after being in this league a long time had maybe had enough now i can't speak because i think a lot of it has to do with that more than max crosby trying to be the general manager yeah crosby hates quarterbacks all right you want to do one last play yeah tell me when you want me to press play it's gonna be a good one what's going on this is the commanders on offense against the eagles no who is this niners okay eagles on offense okay it's 23 19 late in the game the what will they do here comes a blitz no they're bluffing it they're playing cover four again and they're running four verticals into cover four the play had no chance 49ers win four first that's crazy because before like they asked jalen hurts and he was like yeah let's do it what was last time what was the last thing the commanders did in the playoffs i mean we made oh yeah you're interrupting the road back exercise you're interrupting back exercise max sit down max we're trying to get you have nothing to talk about we're trying to get coach max we're trying to get coach to get ready to go it was a terrible fucking play it was a bad play it was a bad play you know if you look at the last four plays so max seriously the 49ers are ahead 23 to 19 the eagles are at home the defending world champions they got a chance to win the game yeah it's a minute 30 to go they got four shots yeah yeah so you got all these coaches now get a lot of plays in the press box you got headsets what's the coverage cover four four deep three underneath those headsets are gone the next play what's the coverage cover four the next play what was the coverage cover four again and then on fourth down what do you think the coverage is going to be cover four and you threw four verticals yeah knock if you're with so you know that that that but they did show the blitz and run into cover four which maybe caused some confusion but shop would carry water that's what i said anyways yeah coach you're ready for you're ready for play by play yeah can i get a copy yeah that's right put the mic down max thank you uh you're the best coach everyone tune in to the new were we calling it gruden on gruden what are we calling it i don't know jay and john or gruden's football gruden gruden family football show we're gonna have uh dan which is pretty cool we're gonna have this thing it's a segment it's gonna be like gruden's vault so we're gonna go back in time and just talk about something that happened that fans that are really fans of the history of the game will like so my dad is 89 years old my dad will come in and tell the story because he's with the 49ers he's a scout and they take terrell owens in the third round he's gonna tell our viewers how that happened what happened in the draft room when they pulled the trigger on to um can i make one request for the show can we get like one segment at one point during the year of your brother who's a doctor just being like yeah what happened right you became a doctor you'd like with football and he's a doctor it's still i still love it i'd love to meet him someday he's out in new orleans he's practicing in new orleans so we're gonna fly out to the raiders saints game to see my son and uh see my brother i love it we definitely that's gruden family affair yeah and how how is deuce doing what is he lifting these days yeah he's still crushing it but he's one of the strength coaches with the raiders he's happy to be there with coach kubiak i think kubiak has a really good staff you know he didn't just come by himself he brought a couple coaches with them and um the the raiders do have a quarterback now i think in the hopper mendoza that's got a chance to fast track so i'm i'm excited for deuce i'm really happy it's football season yeah me too what was what was the last competition that deuce did what he left well he he finished he's broke the united states record i know a bench press he's closing in on 500 pounds like 92. Damn. But he's, yeah, he's something else, man. That's crazy. Speaks very highly of him that there's been transitions in the coaching staff there and Deuce sticks around. Yeah. Big time. It's like, you don't want to let that guy walk out the door. Well, you know, our philosophy is if you work hard and you're loyal, you know, good things will happen. He is a hardworking guy. He might lead the league in effort and he is a loyal guy. He loves the Raiders and it's a credit to him. And certainly they have a lot of new leadership there with the spy tech running the show and Tom Brady's part of the process. So new head coach, hopefully we get the Raiders back on the map and I'll be leading the charge. Let's go boys. All right. Well, coach Gruden, you're the absolute best and we can't wait for football season. Yeah, me too. Thank you guys. Coach Gruden was brought to you by TickPick, the good guys of ticketing. That's confirmed good guys of ticketing. Zach, you know, firsthand got you into Lala. Certainly. What a time. Thank you. TickPick. Shout out TickPick. Also got the New York Knicks boys into the, was that the Eastern Conference semifinals? Cause they weren't in the finals, were they? That was a finals finals. Oh, the finals. It was the final game of the finals. When the Spurs won. Incorrect. Also that was in the Knicks one. I mean, it's history. It'll go down in history forever. What a win. And you guys are Knicks fans who were there for it. All thanks to TickPick. They hooked it up. They're the best. Let's talk about ticket fees for a second. Every other ticket site, they charge them. If there are service fees, processing fees, whatever the label, it's an extra 20, 30 bucks a ticket. TickPick doesn't do that. TickPick has never charged fans a service fee. Not when they started in 2011, not now, not ever. And no fees means simple math. The exact same seat costs less on TickPick, same section, same row, smaller price. 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Morgan & Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over a hundred offices nationwide. They have more than a thousand lawyers, with over $30 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. Morgan & Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. In Florida, a client recently received $6.1 million after the insurance company's best offer was just $100,000. While in Georgia, another client recently received $29.5 million. In Nashville, another client was awarded $10.6 million. If you're injured by the negligence of another, you deserve to be paid. If you're ever injured, check out Morgan & Morgan. The fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to ForThePeople.com slash PMT or dial pound law, pound 529 from your cell phone. That's ForThePeople.com slash PMT or pound law, pound 529. This is a paid advertisement. Okay, let's wrap up the show. Hank, you have our part in your takes. Yep. From listeners? Yes. Let's get it going. First of all, the cannoli discourse was outrageous on today's episode. You guys need to try my grandma's cannoli. Is it cannoli dip? Just cannoli. Because cannoli dip is pretty good. It's like a different way of eating a similar thing to cannoli. Yep. It's way better though. Also, a lot of people come in at me and PFT for our very correct take. Might I remind you that I'm an Italian father. My children are a quarter Italian. And I'm 1% Sicilian. Uh, how could I say anything bad about the Italians? I'm outnumbered by Italians in my own household. Four to one. I have not checked if Stella is Italian. My take is that Canadians are actually dickheads for the most part. I'm from Buffalo and I interact with them on a regular basis. The only ones that are nice are the ones that don't live anywhere near the city. The rest are either dickheads or French dickheads. Yeah, I mean, French Canadians are, that's a different breed of Canadians. That's also part of the charm. Yeah. They don't pretend to be friendly at all. It's like, yeah, we're, you're pretty much in France. Interesting. I don't know. I don't hate it because it's like, you know, Minnesota nice entire country of Minnesota nice and Minnesota nice. Isn't always really nice there. It's passive aggressive. Nice, which is maybe worse. Yeah. Okay. I could see it. I mean, every Canadian, I mean, all the Canadians I deal with and when I'm counting it's oldie and biz are Greer and Greer. Well, it's a Greer doesn't count citizenship to Canada. Something like that. He a hundred percent did kind of a dickhead to the way he's a dickhead to Canadians. Like, yeah, he hates Canada. Uh, but biz and oldie probably the two nicest salt of the earth guys in the world, like would take their shirt off their back for you. And no questions asked. Yeah. So I'm going to say Canadians are good people. I'm going to, I'm going to still stand up for Canadians and do the skin off his pouch. And that's a turf war. What do you mean? Buffalo, Canada. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. That is a turf war. Drake. Drake is a good example of dickhead. Okay. I thought you were a Drake guy. Me? Yeah. No. When have I been a Drake guy? A lot of times. I feel like you were a Drake guy for a while. You, we can just make stuff up on the show now. I'm pretty sure. I love doing that. That's the most insane thing I've ever heard. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Back in like 2018, 2019, I said, I didn't like Drake. And you told me that was a bad take. Well, he does make good music. Disagree. Oh, you think his music sucks? I just, I personally don't like Drake. Got it. Yeah. But do you like his music? No. Okay. You think his music sucks? I don't, I personally don't like it. Got it. Drake guy. I am a 34 year old male who's very out of shape, like 70% out of shape. Okay. Wait, wait, how does that work? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. He said, hold on, hold on, hold on. Timeout, timeout, timeout, timeout. He was very out of shape, well, timeout, timeout, timeout. Like 70% out of shape. No, no, no, timeout. I'm just trying to figure it out. I, I think I'm 82% out of shape. I think that's. What happens at a hundred percent out of shape? You're just, you're just. Is that death? It's a hundred percent death. It's like in a video game, you have a life meter and that's the red part. No, I'm only, I'm only like 40%. I'm like 78% out of shape. I'm like 35%. I've gone to the gym a couple of times the last couple of weeks. I fluctuate. Between 70 and 95. Yeah. I felt I'm usually between 89 and 94. Yeah. Yeah. I like this though. So it's like, you're not a hundred percent out of shape. There's some part of you that's in shape. Yeah. Yeah. What constitutes shape? Food. It's just, if I've had a better diet, I'd be in good shape. Running shape. That doesn't. No, I've been a hundred percent out of running shape for years, but I could still lift heavy things. What? Like lifting shape is different. Like I could lay, if you're like, Hey, move that piece of furniture. I can still fucking do it. So yeah, I'm 78% out of shape. Yeah. I can do chores. That's where I'm at right now. I'm able to do most chores. I put an old chair into my alley this morning. Does that not count for anything? My wife was like, throw that chair out. I said, yes. Actually, she told me to do it two days ago. Today I did it. I have a good question. You have a good question. How many flights of steps until you're out of breath? Does that constitute how out of shape you are? No, no. I think that's just like cardio too. Yeah. Two flights of steps. So if you go to the second floor, no third floor, third floor, second floor, you can do third floor. Third floor is like, Oh my God, is this ever going to end? Yeah. That's, that's the, that's the honest truth. Like there was, yeah, I'm good for 26 steps. How often do you take the stairs at work? I actually take the stairs all the time now because we did that one Cuervo ad in the, in the elevator and my, in my brain, I said, that's just, that's just the Cuervo room now. That's like, don't take it anymore. That's like my bare minimum for being a functional adult is like, don't take the elevator one flight of steps. As long as I can stay there, then I'm doing okay. Wait, Brandon takes the elevator every single time. That's ridiculous. Every single time. Like I said, I live near the 49ers practice facility. Do I start training outside of it and see if I get injured too? Yeah. He's 70% out of shape. Yeah. Yeah. He should. This is a good experiment. I think he needs to get to 50% out of shape and then start the experiment because 70% out of shape, he could just get injured just walking down the street. Like I'm, like I said, as someone who lives in the 70% zone, I could get injured at any moment. PFT often does that. What? Just get, get injured. He has a lot of injuries. It's all stemming from the one, the back is the, is the problem. Well, I mean the calf we dealt with for a long time. That's because of the back. It's all, it's all because of the back. It's all due to the back. I'm not a doctor. It's the posterior chain. Yeah. foot what the foot was that was 10 years ago hank bringing up old stuff but yeah the foot was i did break my foot walking correct walking so did max so did max same injury could have happened to anybody here so did mincy yeah three great athletes really solid really in shape people he wasn't even he stepped and he also wasn't drinking when he did it that's true max and i have we're both at drunk yeah drunk um i think this guy should absolutely do it and we should get on the phone with our friends at morgan and morgan if you get if you like pull a hamstring exercising next to the the niners substation is that an actionable claim i get a question if all your injuries come from your back shouldn't you just fix your back yeah yes but unfortunately you can't have spinal surgery no but like yeah going to like physical therapy and stuff well i do i do that oh okay yeah but i did shout out jerry he's my medical consultant i got an epidural last week when i said i was going to get an epidural i was like oh my god i'm going to get an epidural i'm going to get an epidural i'm going to get an epidural my life is different right now i i feel so good jerry's sitting over there jerry gave me a back shot last week the look on jerry's face when he was like yeah jerry gave me a great the best feeling back shot i've ever had jerry and chef donnie chef donnie they're my two he's fixing his back that's all you need and billy football previously and no billy fixed yeah that was that was something different what was that for that was my uh my elbow is that all linked to the it being a little bit honest like having a back injury is like oh it's the worst it is the worst because it's like you can't do anything oh yeah i was actually really thankful that that i had the like stuff that we had to do on the podcast to make me get out of bed in the morning because i think if i didn't have like big 10 media day to go to every day i probably just would have laid in bed the entire week because it would take me like 25 minutes to get out of bed which is is tough so i'm feeling great right now thanks to jerry the two times i've thrown out my back it's probably the most serious thing i've ever done in my life i've never done it in my life i've never done it in my life i'm not curious i've ever gotten about like rehab and doing physical therapy like three four times a week because it's the only fix yeah so i'm gonna be a big time yoga guy now i think i think you're gonna catch me at yoga up to two or three times a week maybe more all right last one uh hey boys there's always at least four teams who make the nfl playoffs that didn't the previous year this year i got five new teams chiefs falcons bangles commanders and lions and broncos panthers patriots 49ers green bay out big fan would love to hear you discuss say it again say the list again chiefs falcons bangles commanders lions in okay i think three of those five i don't know which three broncos panthers patriots 49ers green bay out broncos panthers patriots 49ers green bay wow i actually i i kind of agree with this guy i think it's dead wrong about what i think it's gonna be two out of five in two out of five out which two in uh chiefs and lions in 49ers and panthers out okay so not to pay you think the patriots are going to make the playoffs the commanders are not going to make the interesting god no interesting okay god no interesting that was a little harsh care to make it interesting hang want to bet an el camino what max would like that i'd like a double or nothing on the el camino or what about you want two broken el camino no no but what we could figure this out los caminos yeah pft's got another motor vehicle you could win off a bank no we we can discuss i mean you like it you like doing the sport is golf cart oh i don't need a golf i don't have a i don't have a vacation home then you're not a real golf guy yeah that's sad i no i i if you had a personal golf cart at one of your clubs that would be sick no yeah it would yeah it would i don't think that's an option that'd be so swaggy well you haven't asked yeah if you just pulled up with one they'd be like yeah that's that's so funny golf carts are golf and you'd be like no and they'd be like where'd you get that you'd be like commanders didn't make the playoffs yeah i said god no on august 10th and i was right hank let me ask you this i don't have a golf cart i don't have a golf cart i don't have a golf cart do any of the the golf carts at your club have a uh lithium battery and a brand new solenoid and motor controller probably i doubt it i highly very much it's a fucking golf i highly doubt that what do you need a controller what do you need a controller for for a golf cart to turn it on it's it's part of the part of the motor hank it controls the motor it's on the inside yeah so a key idiot no you're no you're thinking of a remote control it's definitely like just flight simulator or something yeah i'm just trying to think what's going on what's going on over here don't don't don't want or need that and it doesn't even work that's awesome so what are you gonna bet i don't know we'll see what is something that hank loves golf golf yeah and driving but if he how could you combine the two making faces all right what if the uh if the patriots miss the playoffs you're not allowed to actually that would ruin the show i need the faces the faces are the best have you ever been on a like a uh like quitting cold turkey no faces streak no it's just that's just i'm i was born to make faces i don't like that's just how how i live you emote yeah so we do as humans i'm trying to look at at patriots and and commander's futures you could probably make a double bed parlay you guys should just you guys should just both bet a significant amount like one bets pft bets commanders to make the playoffs patriots to miss i think hank one thing that we talked about a little bit last draft kings to make that yeah i don't think you're here for it hank but what do you think about digs being like hey i'd rather play with jayden than with drake patriots are minus 225 i mean kind of a fun wrinkle to the offseason yeah it is um you talked a lot of shit about digs i mean he's married now so it's like he's he's good yeah um oh you missed that when you were on i said it would be so perfectly full circle if digs was awesome for the commanders and then actually got engaged on this on the field patriots are minus 225 to make the playoffs the commanders are plus 230 to make the playoffs i think you love a dog i yeah i think every team that digs has joined has maybe won the division i'm not gonna trash after he joined them hmm you probably not but like i think so yeah digs a good player yeah he's well what i'm saying is he's he's really good at picking teams that are about to be really good yeah yeah wait hold on let me look it up that would be a that would be a crazy stat yeah all right i'm not gonna trash the guy he's a good player i would never trash him great player stefan family man zach filibuster loves his boys give them steaks that they can have uh steak options we got filet sirloin oh joe for the bet oh shit my bad yep okay boys what do we think current bet is el camino in a peanut butter sized tattoo correct a peanut butter cup butter lid size tattoo thoughts on switching this to a tiny el camino in an el camino like a full body tattoo like a car size tattoo like but the but the camino is gold so it's gold but like those camino or body tat i don't like the the bet is like we're not gonna know the el camino bet until the end like that the the nfl bet's gonna end before that what if also i'm a little bummed of the el camino bet like i feel like the play-in should factor in somehow because it would be electric if the play-in was part of it that's my too late we might have to do a double or nothing if it's playing and is there a super team clause no lebron has gone to the sixers no no but if anybody on the wizards is uh accused of you know a wander franco type offense i think i should be able to get out deal no why no deal yeah why no deal so you're pro pedophilia i'm not but i'm not like i'm not gonna reward you for having a pedophile on your team no you'd be rewarding me for disavowing the pedophile you shouldn't have had him in the first place that's bad that's just bad like things happen like i can't keep an eye on everyone you will make draft picks yeah and dingers only uh confirmed every time stefan diggs started uh with a new team they won division let's go okay i like vikings 2015 bills 2020 texans 2024 patriots 2025 that's that's a good set for you yeah yeah exciting i was just saying god no i mean i don't i don't i don't feel as confidently about the commanders as i do about the wizards okay and that's talking whiz yeah let's talk everyone just can't keep the wizards off their lips exciting time of year yeah okay good show boys very good show your birthdays yeah are we gonna do a number or anything i mean no one wants to win this yeah but it's kind of funny when somebody wins do it okay you try to lose yeah i'll do zero i'm gonna say 72 three uh 43 seven darren sproles 69 19 19 for jacob how do you press play on this Wait, what did you guys say? 69. 69 for Colton. 15. 15. for Shane memes 12 for memes I thought you could Jonah you want a number Jonah's got 21 Jerry you want a number Jerry's got seven where's the you press play on this I thought part of my balls you could you could press play are you doing it okay he's doing it it's a random number generator to 100 ready go we're doing this on part of my balls go to part of my balls.com shout out that guy two who that was close you did one to ten also Zach do zero 93 93 okay did you because I picked anyone get 93 but but PFT did okay you have to do zero through zero clause 54 to zero okay 54 54 nah all right 54 official one okay happy birthday to uh George Soros happy birthday to you Nikki Smoke's sister happy birthday to Erwin Schrodinger happy birthday to Ace Bailey Boogie Cousins the McCourty twins Dallas Braden Fidel Castro love you guys Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.