JON CRYER & LISA JOYNER Went to Malaysia for a Family Reunion

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We would spend the entire month in Edinburgh, performing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Yeah, it comes up in this episode because John Cryer's brother Dan was in a show called The Donkey Show, which was sort of like a disco-y mid-summer night stream show. And yeah, as was our custom when we were over there for a whole summer, we befriended a cast of other shows and that was great group of people. Yeah. But I missed those days. I mean, we were just like young, young and hungry actors, comedians on the streets of Edinburgh. And I remember that's like maybe the first place I would drink hard cider. Interesting. And they had three-liter bottles, which were not expensive, and that's what I would buy. Yeah. Just to have fun. I think that's when I started drinking Red Bull as well. Yeah. Maybe. Because there was a lot of a stay in wake, like I remember that was a big part of our time there. Yeah. Great days. Great days. Great festival. I also did a show, I did a show with our friend Joe Benjamin called Pickups and Hickups. It was ultimately the show that helped me get hired at SNL and I had to leave Edinburgh early to go start at SNL and we had ten shows left in this two-person show, Pickups and Hickups. And what happened, Posh? Did we cancel the shows? No, but who could possibly fill in for you? Who could fill in for me? Who could just step in as if they'd just been watching the show ready to go for years? Well, that was me, Sufi. We did it. We stepped right in and you were up for an award. You were potentially going to be a nominee. I don't know if you were nominated for the very award. We were not. We were thinking we might get shortlisted, so we were maybe a little ahead of ourselves. So we sort of decided collectively. We weren't going to say that your brother had stepped in for you because we thought that would take you out of the running. Right. There was not, when you would go sit down, not that there were playbills at shows like this, but there was no announcement that the part of Seth Myers will be played by Josh Myers. Yeah, but there was a show that, I mean, not only did I see it several times, but a lot of people would come back and see it again because it was a great show and a lot of improvised elements. I mean, when we found out that through Scottish eyes, you cannot notice the difference between the two of us. Yeah. Nobody notes there. Nobody. No, certainly if anybody noticed, they didn't care. Yeah. It was a lovely time. I also remember, maybe the last time I ate Kentucky Fried Chicken was in Edinburgh. I would really enjoy. I would go have like, because they say if you're going to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken, you know, do it on a British aisle. But I would just sort of remember like midday, like going in and get in multiple times, getting a chicken fried chicken sandwich over the course of August and really, really liked that a lot. Yeah. I can see that hitting the spot on a cold day and then cold, cold August. Yeah. Yeah. How's everything else going? Good. Yeah. I discussed this with Mackenzie, Mackenzie and I do did a listener episode in your absence and we're talking about how we're cleaning up a lot of the sort of digital things going on here at the house and one thing that I just, I forgot to mention that I found amusing. But I've sort of taken over all the phone lines for mom and dad and also for Mackenzie and for her mother. But mom was on a plan called the 5G Game More Plan, which is a, I think, specific plan that they had for gamers. Right. Oh, so like low, you know, but people who don't want lag when they're playing, like, you know, yeah, she needs to be able to like live stream live game. She needs a hot spot. She needs and I think I like when she's playing Minecraft, she's going to lose her mind if like if it's going a little slow. Yeah. Yeah. In actuality, she turns her phone off for huge portions of the day and she doesn't know why she can't answer why. And she, the minutes used on any given week will be around 16. Yeah. And that's probably too much for her. Yeah. You know how your phone will be like, your usage was up 11% this week. Yeah. Her phone every Sunday sends her a text being like, you there. Question mark. It's a, it's a defibrillator and they just sort of like jolt certain to be to be sure. She's, she's shocked when it rings. Yeah. Yeah. And then she'll sometimes ask you why it's not ringing and then you look and it's because all the, all the ringers, the sliders are all it, you know, whisper mode. Yeah. So she's always said she doesn't like the phone. She doesn't. She doesn't like the phone. And she's like, Hey, I might, I might update your computer. This computer is getting a little old. She's like, I never use that. And it's like, you never use your computer. She's like, no, I barely, I, if I had my brothers, we wouldn't even have that. You, uh, yeah, you, not to pull back the curtain, but you did text me earlier today. You were trying to log into something and you wanted, you said you wanted to break a laptop in half. Yeah. Because I, I mean, you know how you do it. You just pull it open and then you just, oh yeah, it's actually, there is a satisfying thing when you could break it in half. Yeah. I have never done it, but I really wanted to earlier. I have broken, I broke a flip phone in half once. Oh, yeah, that has to be, oh, it felt so great. I mean, it's also instantly regretted it, FYI, but yeah, it wasn't like you were worried, you were being tracked and you were a spy and it was a burner and like you finished the one thing you had to do, it wasn't like, right, it wasn't like I got a call from you being like, your cover's blown. And I just cracked the phone and dropped it in the tens. Right. That would be. That way. And that's peak. It was more like I was in the bag of a taxi and I had too much to drink and maybe I got a text where someone was mean to me. And I broke it in half and then I was like, oh, that's all my numbers. Yeah. Now tomorrow I have to go to the sprint store and I'm like, hey, somebody biked over my phone. Uh, from a motorcycle gang rode over in my phone. Well, you're doing, uh, I will also say I said to you when you took on all of Mom and Dad's tech, I said, you're doing God's work and you said, uh, God finished in seven days and there's no way I'm going to be able to. And I thought, no, this is going to take a return trip, um, for sure. You're like, God had it easy because again, God was starting from scratch. You got it. do so much shit. Yeah, Gordian not the Gordian. You said that dad's Amazon accounts. He there's like 12 login names, like Lauren Slary. It's like, yeah, middle name, email addresses that are defunct, it's phone numbers that don't exist anymore. There's like eight, not anymore. It's been rectified. But to undo it all was really something. There's certain shipping addresses where it's they're like pre-Louisian to purchase. Just to the territories. Yeah, I'm just so I'm so lucky to have you as a brother to bear this burden. Well, I had some help from Mackenzie along the way. I mean, Mackenzie has been incredible. Yeah, yeah, truly. I mean, Alexia's as well. Like, there was a moment. Yeah, no, I mean, that sign-in thing was Alexia sort of that for me. There was a thing where we're like, well, we nobody knows the Wi-Fi password. And then Mackenzie came down. It was like an hour of us being miserable where basically you and I, our solution was nobody is gonna be on the Wi-Fi anymore. That's not to call you out. You were like, what's the Wi-Fi? Dad said it. You're right. And then you entered it wrong. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. I forgot the part where I screwed up. Oh, my God. I forgot that part. All right. You know what? Yes, Sam, what are you here for? You're here for a family trips. Yep. With John Crier and Lisa Joyner joining us today. Yeah. They're great. They're married. Really? I'm married. And they're lovely. And we hope you enjoy this conversation. Yes. Hello. The ugliest background you guys have ever had. Are you guys temporarily in New York City because of Broadway, John? Temporary. Everything is temporary, man. Yeah, man. Yeah. Life is temporary, man. No, we love it here. We are staying in a lovely place. We'd love to be here as long as New York will have us. We wanted to be closer to you, Sam. We wanted to be closer to you. You got to, you got to deal in the place because it didn't have lampshades. Yes, exactly. So I would at least because, you know, there's so few people I can talk to about this. You also co-host a podcast with one other person. I do. How do you, do you find that you often are just like carrying the other, your co-hosts on your own. Yes, the other is just insufferable. That's really what links the two of you is having a podcast co-host who is just. I had to jump in and steal Josh's move before. That is a perfect host move. You know, you know, it must have been very difficult for you because you own the desk and then having to, you know, share the Josh. Oh my god, just a solo act. And then all of a sudden, yeah, the key to being a good co-host is not listening to the guests. It's just finding times to undercut your co-host. Yeah, just blur it out. Just find a way to insert at key moments to just how long have you been doing a plus one with Morgan? Plus one with Lisa Morgan. It's been, we've been shooting it for almost probably like the better part of the year, but it started airing about eight weeks ago. Oh nice. But the nice thing about the co-host thing is that Morgan and I have different skill sets. She is literally if I didn't push her down, she'd be floating all over the place. So I'm kind of the traffic cop and moving things along and, you know, because I have to edit. So we play to each other's strength. Yes. And what's her strength that she floats all around? Yeah, you've mostly mentioned your strength makes sense to me. She's composed of helium basically. And she's lighter than air. No, she's so funny and so smart. I mean, she's a, you know, she's a comedian and actress, you know, she knows when to get in there and like, you know, put a button on it. But she's very light and I'm like to. I'm like adjacent. She's accidentally happy every now and then. But I'm supposed to chose for a long time. So I kind of try to get the wheels on it. It's good. I think that it does seem like you, I mean, Josh and I don't even have different voices. Yeah, it's amazing. That is, that is noticeable by the way guys. I know we're aware. You may want to like put some sort of digital effect onto. I'm trying to get Josh to use Kidnapper voice and he didn't want to use the Kidnapper voice. Yeah. Or we were going to do like Pittsburgh and Boston. Yeah, because you have access. Or you could just do like Josh speaking, Seth speaking. Yes. Yeah. Just every single sentence you said. We found people figured out that if like it wasn't a SNL anecdote, it was Josh. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. So there it is. Put the counties be. Are you doing it all the way through the summer? I'm doing it all the way through summer till the first week of October. Yeah. I saw it extend all the way until is it October 11th when you're done? Yes. Yes. Very exciting. That's amazing. Have you enjoyed it? Oh, I've had a blast. It's there's nothing better than doing a doing a show for for New Yorkers. It's you know, Alex Nools in the show now Tony winner. Allie Stroker is coming in to the show in a few weeks. Also a Tony winner. I love it so much. I've been four times. I'm basically an understudy. Yes. She never does that. You need to understand. She it's it's all that she can do to stomach the content I create at all. This is great for you to say. This is not Lisa. You're not saying Lisa is a supportive wife. Lisa is a fan of this show. Yes. I don't want somebody listening being like, well, of course you went four times. She goes to everything. John does four times. That is not not the case at all. It's just an amazing fun time. You know, it's just it's one of those just those those evenings that you go to theater and you go, wow, that that that was, you know, an amazing few hours I spent with some some remarkable people. I'm very impressed. The last time I saw you, John was in person at Becky Shaw. Yes. Yes. I'm very impressed. I was. Yeah. And and you were, you know, somebody who's on Broadway and was also taking advantage of supporting everything else on Broadway. And I was just like, God bless, you know, that that schedule is no joke. And yet you were also using your night off to go see other people. Well, I still I still love seeing other shows and and that show was terrific. Yeah, we're seeing another show tonight. We're seeing Ket Cohen show tonight. That's just you can't go. It's great. Yeah, one of the wonderful things about my show is actually technically off Broadway. And so we have a different schedule than Broadway. So I do actually get to see things. And also, it was cool about that was Bernadette Peters was was you I saw you were talking to Bernadette Peters. And so I was like, I am so going to horn in on the Bernadette Peters conversation. Yeah, because I've never met Bernadette Peters. And she she recognized me. She said, you have your dad's ears. My dad is an actor. And apparently he has very distinctive ears because that's how Bernadette Peters recognized me. Not the bald head. Not, you know, yeah, yeah, not not some years of being on to an app and men, but no, having my dad's ears. They stand up. Yeah, to call back to our last weeks episode. Tiffany Haddish was a guest. And she she said that it's the ears that she she a week ago. She's like, it's the ears that make you be able to recognize your offspring. And now a week later, you come on. And yeah, I really like I also want to believe that you're you spent your whole life being like one day, I'm going to outlive the shadow of my dad's ears. Yeah, they were they were massive jumbo size. Bernadette Peters was like, that's who you'll always be. Yes, it was it was remark about Bernad Peters, you know, just to put a button on it. Like isn't it great? Like she's just one of those people who is so she's so much like Bernadette Peters when you meet her in person that it is the most rewarding. Yeah. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Support comes from Mintmobile. Hey, buddy. Hey, Sophie. When we were kids, summer meant freedom, no homework, no teachers, no school, and as adults, summer still means freedom. Thanks to Mintmobles, summer sale right now, all of Mint's plans are $15 per month, even unlimited. So free yourself from big wireless and their gimmicks and gotchas and switch to Mint for high speed data and coverage on the T-Mobile 5G network. Man, wireless bills, they're just they're insane. Too high. 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Just clump, dewey hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Maybelline New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline. ♪ Here we go ♪ - So, all right, Lisa, you grew up in Baltimore. - No. - No, no. - All right, let's just shut this down. - Never mind. - This is a podcast about people from Baltimore. - So, you know, Baltimore, it's called more about Baltimore with Seth and Josh. Were you born in Baltimore? - I need to change that. It's on Wikipedia. Every time I do an interview, they start in Baltimore and that's just wrong. I was born outside of San Diego. - Outside of San Diego. - And a place where they go home. - Yes. - California is the Baltimore of California. - But, exactly. She grew up in Fort Myers. So, not in that, not Fort Baltimore either. - All right. So, you grew up. Now, you are, you were adopted. And so, at what age were you adopted? - Three months. - Okay. - Oh. - Yeah. - And I was a faster person from day one to three months. - Okay. - Gotcha. - And so, then, your adoptive parents, is that the correct way to. - Yeah. - How would you go? - Yes. So, they were in San Diego or nearby when they adopted. - My dad was in the military, so he was all over the place. So, they were stationed outside. They were on Coronado Island. Which, wow. And if you bought real estate now. And then, and they had adopted my brother when they were living in Great Lakes, Illinois. So, every time they stopped somewhere, I got transferred. They would adopt children. (laughing) - And never in Baltimore. - Right. - How many. - To do with Baltimore. - How many children eventually were adopted by these parents? - 16. - No. - Just two. - Just the two. - Yeah. - Yeah. - How much older are your younger, is your brother? - Physically? - No. A year and a half. He's a year and a half older. So, they adopted him outside of San Diego. Sorry, in Illinois. And then they got stationed in California. They adopted me. And then he got out of the military and we went to Florida. - Got you. - Got you. - As one does. - Yeah. - I know and I want to get to, 'cause I knew eventually you tracked on your birth parents. What age were you when you knew you were adopted? - Probably like eight. Yeah. I don't remember. It's sort of fuzzy. People have different recollections. My brother even has a different one. But I remember them sitting us down, taking us into separate rooms. And my mom telling me and I was so mad. Not to be an adopted, but that I couldn't play outside. So. - And got it. Right. - So it didn't like settle. But I always looked a little bit different. So I, I don't know. There was something subconscious about it. It was like the Irish guy with freckles and my brother who sort of looked like him. My mom who had all of colored skin and then me who looked like a Filipino kid. So, yeah. The family force was kind of told everything. - So she grew up not knowing her ethnicity. - Actually. - Gotcha. And then at what age was it that you decided to make this journey of tracking down your birth parents? - I did it here and there. I thought I was a broadcast journalist for a while so I thought I could do that. No. I started making up excuses. I'm like, I'm trying to have a baby. They're like, you're 14. You say to know all the health information. So I sort of put it away for a little while and then I would revisit it and then I hired somebody when I was in my late 20s and didn't get anywhere. And then when my folks passed away, my adoptive parents both passed away. I felt like even though I know it wasn't really doing them to service, I felt like I didn't want them to think they weren't enough. So then I started an earnest and I was about mid 30s when I actually found them. - Gotcha. What's that? I mean, I'm sure you've told the story a million times and I don't know what that like. What's that like? - It's revelatory. It's life changing. There's the time before you found your birth family and then there's the time after. Really, it sort of puts a stake in the ground. Because I'm a producer and I was sort of producing this, it wasn't until about an hour before I was going to meet them where it all settled in and I went, oh, shit. This is really, it was really hard. I just kept going, do I hug this person? Do I shake their hand? Like, these are questions that you just never think about until it's time and it's really weird because I had set it up as you do a very, one of the most intimate moments you'll ever have in the middle of the hotel for a not a bar. - That was the location at the meeting. - Meet me there. - Beautiful property. Beautiful property, yeah, it truly is. - It is. - And I said, meet me there. - Yeah, and their slogan there is meet your real parents, right? (laughing) It's a concierge service, your parents. - Yeah, yeah. - And bam, but I mean, one of the things that's very common for adoptees is they go through their lives, always wondering whenever they see somebody who vaguely resembles them going, oh, wait a minute, is there a connection? And so she was thrust into meeting these people. - I was thrust, I dove in. - Well, you dove in, but also meeting their whole family. I mean, it turns out her. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, you tell it. - So I go-- - I'm just getting excited. - So I find them, I talk to them on the phone, I don't tell them my last name. I was literally on the air, I was getting ready to go, do entertainment in Los Angeles. And I said, I'm glad I found you. Can I meet you this weekend? 'Cause I can't wait, I'm capricorn. And they said, yes. And so I set up the place, it's a hotel Coronado, an hour before I'm freaking out. I had a boyfriend at the time. And he was videotape, 'cause I was like, I wanna have this documented. And I was sitting, the camera was facing me and the door was behind me. And he goes, there's a couple of people coming in. And I was like, and there's a crowd of people. It's like a Saturday afternoon. And I turn around and I look through this sea of people and I'm like, that's him. I could, I spotted him. I was just like, that's him. And John will tell you, he looks very Malaysian. - Yes, he is Malaysian. - This is, he was from Malaysia, came over, brought his entire family over. And while I've angled out very much, when I was a kid, I looked very, like I said, Filipino. But I knew it was him. And I just naturally just went up and hugged him. And it was surreal. - Had there been a sort of warmth on the phone ahead of time? Did you sense an enthusiasm from there end as well? - Yes, I did. But he, yeah, he really wanted to meet me. And the interesting thing is, is that he said he didn't know anything about me, that he didn't know I existed. My biological mother, who I met the next day, - Tells a slightly different story. - Yes. (laughing) - That's couples. - Yes. - But what I told him is, I don't care. I honestly I want I want to meet you honestly to say I'm okay. Like I can't imagine as a parent I couldn't imagine this human being out in the world and not knowing how they did you know and it was really that and to ask some questions and see what they look like and you know so it's so weird it's like almost finding a rosetta stone about like specific to you you know like oh this just unlocks like so much personal history that you know I obviously uh you're adopted parents gave you and upbringing and everything but like just you know I'm just knowing that must be such a trip it was it was a trip it was a family trip uh uh you are a good boss you're very good very good we are the ones who tried it usually I so we're gonna pop back and forth and if somebody please tell us something about Baltimore but um you're on you rubbed in New York City where in New York City did you grow up me oh I grew up on the upper side of Manhattan which is very bohemian area when I grew up there um it's still pretty bohemian actually um it was kind of run down I grew up during the the 70s which was kind of the the low point for New York City in a lot of ways um you know it was kind of people people people now are nostalgic about the grit um we got paid up a lot I am but yeah I'm less nostalgic uh would you get beat up would you just get beat up by randos in the street or like uh school aged kids uh yes when when I was in school it was school aged kids uh and then what was nice was as I got older they they also aged uh they did not age out of beating you up they yes exactly you never you never age out of beating me up that's the nice thing is that that's always a possibility telling me I it's I would say like half of a half of our friends in New York like grew up in New York and so it's very funny and you know they like live through this gnarly time and then of course they also still want to raise their kids there and it's less gnarly but a lot of them talked about how they carried like a mugging $20 yes uh you know like uh it was like you had to carry $20 in one pocket away from your money and that was the one to just give away for when you got mugged I had $20 in my shoe that was my mugged money and I remember the first time I got mugged and successfully did the handover of the mugging money maneuver yeah I triumphantly came home to my mom going hey yeah mugged and they only got my mugging money we've I've made the connection that anybody who efficiently did that can also is very good at like greasing a poem with the materdy like once you've like used the mugging money is a little something for you yourself some white wall tires you know were you aware that it was gnarly or as you got older did you look back and you're like oh my god that was nobody I know grew up like that that uh well no a lot of us a lot of people I know grew up like that as because it's all my friends you know um yeah but like there's stuff that my my mom's building with my mom still lives in the same apartment I grew up in uh and the building has become really lovely you know it's got a door man now but when I was going up there there was the the kind of incidents were there was this lovely man next door to mr. green he used to bring by a pot of ox tail soup for my mom all the time and he talked like this he was like is your mother home because I had some ox tail soup that I'd like to give your mother I was like thank you that's very very kind to me the ox tail soup was good I can actually still remember how it tasted um but mr. green um uh one day I was night actually um we heard a thump and we heard somebody run down the stairs we were on the we're on the first floor and uh we didn't know what had happened and then the police showed up and um turns out uh uh mr. green had shot somebody uh what had happened was mr. turns out mr. green uh liked to bring home ladies of the evening one of the ladies of the evening brought home with her a guy or rather to his home uh a a i guess pimp uh in not in the the complimentary term uh but in a derogatory sense of him um he tried yeah yes he tried to rob mr. green and tied him up to a chair next to his bed and was ransacking his apartment um mr. green uh who was always a plucky man even even though he had a very high voice uh reached under the mattress of his bed he slid his his uh the chair that he was tied up in on over to the bed reached under his mattress got a gun and pointed it while still tied in the chair um at the guy got him right between the eyes um and yes the town to mr. green uh killed the man uh and that uh and the next day they were pulling the body out and mr. green came over with more ox tail soup uh and actually brought me over to his apartment to show me where the bullets ricocheted um so that i don't know what kids like you guys know it yeah are we worried this uh this is a swiney Todd situation where he was baking uh or he was using the dead pimps in the soup i'm glad that that this is the first moment that that idea has occurred to me thank you for saying like a guy who's like oh my god ox tail this isn't cheap and then oh uh thank you soup hey we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors this segment is brought to you by colo guard a non-invasive colon cancer screening test hey baji hey sufi you know uh you need to start screening uh for colon cancer uh when you're 45 that's the word on the street yeah and now a lot of people will be shocked uh to know that i'm older than 45 based on the fact that i look early 30s is that what you were saying but i'm 52 and colo guard is a great way to test for this in a non-invasive way yeah there's there's a lot of prep uh to go getting a colonoscopy it's intimidating the amount of prep it's intimidating it's a big process but colo guard is a nice way to be able to test from the comfort of your own home one of the nice things also is a lot of times your insurance will cover the cost of uh of this test and you're sent this box and it has everything you need to take a 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by prescription only here we go what did uh i would so your dad was an actor was broad way of thing you guys would do when you were young uh yes we would go see shows um i remember seeing my dad and in some of the shows that he did he my mom was in a show called Little Me that was a Neil Simon musical uh my dad was in 1776 the the it was like Hamilton before Hamilton right and all white uh and uh the and and so yeah no i would i i saw a lot of Broadway um of when i was a kid and and you know did not love it until my teen years uh that's when i started watching it and like really sort of getting it i remember seeing the i went to the opening night of swini Todd the first big production of swini Todd and remember that was like a life changing holy smokes i got a i got to do this it is it is a family you did you ended up doing Neil Simon stuff as well right i did i did bright and beach memoirs on Broadway for a while amazing yeah yeah and it's a it's a you know it Broadway audiences are amazing and you know that eight show a week schedule is really demanding and you feel like a really if if there's a measure of sort of masculinity amongst actors it's like yeah i did eight show weeks you know Yeah, because it is, it's very, it's very demanding, you know, but, but it's a great life, for sure. Fantastic. And two sisters for you, John? Yes. Well, I grew up, one biological sister, and then a friend of hers, whose mom was literally traveling the world, marrying people, marrying various different people. She wanted us, she wanted us to stay in New York, while her mom traveled the world. And she married, and she, yes, exactly. So she moved in with us, and so eventually she lived with us for so long, we referred to her as a sister, and she became his makeup artist. How old was she when she started living with you? She started a little, I think I was 13, so she would have been 15. That's great. Same age as your sister. Same age as my sister, and boy, 13-year-old me loved having a 15-year-old girl move in. I was just going to say it is like the, it is like the slug line of a John Hughes movie. This was already happening to you. At some point, she's like, hey, I'm your sister. Stay to me, John. I think it's easier. Moving forward, I'm your sister. Lisa, were you and your brother close? We were in proximity, used to be the shit out of me. Can I say that? Yes, again, so I was at least being up by strangers. I was being up by my brother, and then we got closer as we got older, but it was a year and a half difference. So, and he was bullied at school, so he would take it out on me. Take it out, yeah, that's historically. Actually, my sister threw a wrench at me once, so let's just go back to the Trump. I think that's what this podcast is really, you know, it's about being from Baltimore and childhood. I'll eat in Baltimore. Welcome back to Baltimore. I chose Seth with a golf club once, so we're all okay. Did you get him? No, he closed his door and I put the head of the club through the door. Okay, and then we covered it sticker on it, bumper sticker. Yeah, to think that no one's going to notice that I remember my dad like rubbing his hand over a bumper sticker and just like finding the hole there's covering. He was always the thing he was the least impressed with is how badly we tried to hide our misdeeds. Oh, it's like, come on, I just wish you were smarter. Exactly, you can't get a sander out some paint. I see you, Seth and Josh and John and I raise you. My brother used to beat me up so much until I finally got sick of it and I pinned him down and put a knife to his neck. Now, everybody knows I wasn't going to do anything. But I talked to him and I talked him down and I said, don't you ever touch me again? Don't walk me the bathroom. Don't throw things at me. Don't ever do this and it ended. He was like, so take that lesson. Yes, everyone who's listening. If you're being tormented by an older sibling, we break nice to the neck. I feel like you should have a podcast on like rough parenting. It's tough love, really. Just look, I can't stress enough. You're not going to do anything, but it's got to be a real knife. Now, what was, did you guys, when you were based in Florida or in San Diego, those are obviously places a lot of people go for vacations. Would you guys travel for vacation? Or would you stay local? We didn't. For the sake of this podcast, I could make up some. Honestiest preferred. Honestiest part. No, the only trip I can remember taking, because we lived very modestly. When I ran away, I ran away to a trailer park. I was like, "Alas." I do remember one trip that we took. My mom and I went to visit friends of hers in West Virginia, and we took a trailways bus. I had never been anywhere. I mean, I'd just been in my area. I remember waking up and seeing these big tall buildings. It was Atlanta. And then on the way back, we splurged. We went there, visited them, splurged on the way back, flew on a plane. They upgraded me. And I got to eat filet mignon and strawberry tart. It stayed with me. Yeah, that's great. That's great. Also, that's got to be a quick flight, too. If you're just going from West Virginia, Atlanta, back down to Florida. It felt like forever. I mean, that's barely time to eat a full steak. It was a full flight. Would you, I mean, Fort Myers is very much a sort of tourist destination as well. Would you go to touristy things in town? Yes. Well, we did. I mean, the beach was there. And the beach was always, you know, lovely. But it was, what do they call them, snowbirds? Yeah, there was always so many tourists there. We would go to the shell factory. That's where you could get any kind of shell imaginable. And you could hear the ocean in them. And we'd go to bush gardens in those traditional, you know, sort of, isn't the ocean the shell factory? Yeah. That's okay. It was more. It seems very to call it a factory. It seems very unfair. Like the shell warehouse I'd appreciate. But the factory. And then did you guys get on airplanes and go and trips, John? As kids, not a whole lot. My mom has to sigle mom. So we would take trips to visit. Like she would send the way the kids away during the summer, you know, for fun things to do. Like I'd go visit my grandparents in Indiana, which was basically city kid amongst rural, rural teenagers, which was terrifying for the city kid, who was there. Would you get beat up there? You know. No, come to think of it, actually, that's nice. It was a nice change of pace. It did a local New York teens write instructions. And they were like, just give this. We took much more. I mean, we traveled more once we got together. Yeah. I mean, I would force him to take trips. So we've been to a lot of different places and bringing family members from age four to 78 with us. Yeah. So we do that now. So did either of you were either do you feel like the worth more than some of your part situation? Were either you big travelers before this or did you find that you elevated each other? And Lisa elevated my travel game mind mentally. I was actually a guy who had traveling anxiety. I don't love traveling because I always wonder, what am I going to do when I get there? So I said, come on, honey. Let's go. Let's go. So she travels magnificently. And one of the things that we fell in love with about was just we just have so much fun traveling. So where was what's one of the big trips you guys have taken together? We went to Paris a couple years ago. We went to India. That's probably the biggest logistical thing was to we basically a friend of my mom's had she puts together the her husband was the ex ambassador to India. It was a guy named Dick Celeste. She fancy. She's a very fancy lady. And she was working with a public private partnership to build potable water stations in India still. So she was doing enormous amounts of charitable work to to to you know, because she had this amazing experience in India. But she wanted to bring John because to have a famous base, she could get some attention. It would draw you know. So we thought he's like, okay, well, I don't really want to go. That seems far. And I'm like, wait, that's an amazing educational experience for our children. Yeah. Like to really, you know, deep dive. I mean, travel is the best way. So we decided to go. And I'm like, hey, let's bring your mom. She's 78. Our youngest is four years old. Let's go. Let's go. And so that how many total people from related to you guys from four to 78 were there? There was one, two, three, five, right? Yeah, there's five, which isn't a huge group. But actually we were. So we're going there to to open up this new potable water station, which was very exciting for this in the small village. But the you know, because the former ambassador to India was sort of running the trip, we were going to go to several places and do amazing things while we were there. And it just became sort of a cluster. Yes. Yeah, it was a very interesting trip because we were thrust into this environment. My husband, like you said, does not like to travel well. And the whole time he's going, can we just go to the hotel? And you know, and meantime, there's pomp and circumstance and beautiful people and music and everything. And I'm like, honey, they're doing all this stuff for us. Can you possibly enjoy this? No, what it was was. No, the trip there was very exciting because we flew on Christmas day. And it was my first time in a plane that had like those lay flat things. And plus it was Christmas day. So the plane was empty. So I've thought this is like, I've never been able to sleep on a plane. This will be the first time in my life I can sleep on a plane that did not occur. So this is L.A. What's the flight? This is L.A. No, we went first went to London, then we went from London to Mumbai. And people walk, the reason I stress the ages is four-year-old walks differently than a 78-year-old. Yes. Right. Yes, and John and I, we walk like we're being chased. Yes, it was very tricky and we, you know, I couldn't go because I was taking care of that child and John and his mom got invited to this palace, basically. Oh, yeah. I know one of the many things. I mean, we did all kinds of amazing things while we were there. At one point, we got my mom and I got invited to meet the Maharaja, the king of Judd Porr, at his palace. Okay, because I was, what I did not know was two and a half men was huge in India. It was huge. So whenever we go these places, there would be, you know, fated like, you know, like, like princess from another house. Did they ever ask where the other one and a half men were? They never did. They never did. Okay, that's good. No, because they raised at one point, you know, how they, they give the ceremonial lays like they do in Hawaii. They, they give those flower garlands wherever, whenever you land, they, they're chanting and giving you flower gardens, which is lovely. But this one, this, this woman came up to me who was, you know, my, my wife is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. But the second most beautiful woman I've ever seen was on the on the tarmac at one of these villages. And she came up to me, put the garland around my head and she said, hello, Alan Hopper, which was my, my character name from the show. So, so you're, so you're, so you're going to meet the president? No, we're going to meet the king. We're meeting the king of Judpore. They still have a lot of the ancestral royal families. They're even though they've been de-certified. They're, they're no longer considered of monarchs. So he still lives in a palace that he now uses as a hotel. So my mom and I get, get drawn up in this beautiful car, you know, and there's this, the ceremonial stairway. There's like the horns and the musicians and it's like it's, it's like a, you know, like Aladdin or, you know, we just like this astonishing place. We get out of the car and my mom and I start up the beautiful ceremonial subway at the end and my mom probably trips and falls down. And she's laughing so hard that for the entire time we're meeting with the king, she is just giggling because she can't believe that she tripped going up the most beautiful staircase she's ever seen in her life. But those kind of things, I mean, it was just, it was full enough for another. It seems like you've got a little spoiled in this trip. Yes. So I, I want you to step back and say because I find it so daunting. My wife really wants to go to India and I will say like I have anxiety about like how far away it is and, you know, you hear how crowded it is, how chaotic it is. It seems like a place whose culture I have nothing but, you know, respect for and things I deeply want to see and cuisine I love. So, but it sounds like this is a resounding. It's worth it to go to India. It is. It was, it was, it was a, it was a beautiful experience. Something I'll never forget. However, one of the reasons that I wanted to take the kids is so that they could learn and really sort of see another culture and see new people. My four-year-old had no recollection of any. I mean, we went not expecting that we were going to be meeting the king. We were, we were just going there to dedicate the, the, the portable water facility, you know, but we get there and because I was on a TV show that there was a huge deal there. Suddenly we're hanging out with Bollywood stars. Like we went to this one dinner where there's a guy named Jackie Schroff who's like this very sexy, you know, Bollywood leading man and they seated us all at the table and he was wearing this beautiful, you know, white, perfect white suits. One of the most immaculate, crisp white suits I have ever seen with the sunglasses inside. And our host had sat me next to him. She said you'll be good at talking talking with him. Yes. And she was, but, but he did the pull, the coolest move I think I've ever seen a human being do. And in front of me, and I was thrilled to watch it. He pulled her napkin off of the beautiful immaculate incredibly lengthy table and pulled it out, whipped it out into into into its full glory and placed it across the lap of my wife. And I was like you two are dating now and that's calling me. At that point, what can you say other than well played and, and ask her to text me? Yes. Exactly. At some point while you guys are on the town this evening. Well, she got a lot to deal with, especially because she got all those children. Yeah, one thing we don't have is a cat and I just want to say I have a lot of empathy for cat parents because I know that that has its own burdens. Yeah, because it's not like you'd get a cat and it just takes care of itself. Right. 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This episode is brought to you by IQBAR, our exclusive snack sponsor, Hey, bow yee! Hey, Suvi. Oh, man, I thought today we were starting a half hour later than we're actually starting. And because of that, I did not have time to eat. And so basically, I've just been thinking about how, as soon as this ad read for IQBARs is over, I'm going to go eat an IQBAR. Yeah, because you are looking a little, you're withering. Gaunt. Yeah, hungry. And IQBAR is going to get you right back on track. Because IQBARs are better for you, clean, plant protein bars packed with fiber and brain-boosting nutrients with zero added sugar. You no longer have to choose between healthy or delicious snacks. IQBARs plant protein bars are packed with high-quality ingredients to help you keep physically and mentally fit. You won't find any unrecognizable ingredients on their label. The number one ingredient in their bars is almonds. There's nine delicious flavors, Pasha. I'll start them and you finish them. This is like a quiz now. Okay. Okay. Mint chocolate chip chocolate sea salt banana nut toasted coconut chip. I feel like you're cheating. Lemon, blue, berry, and peanut butter chip. You're cheating. Cheating. With over 25,000 five star reviews and counting more people than ever starting their days on the right foot. On the right foot. With IQBARs brain and body-boosting bars. See, I'm stumbling because I haven't had my IQBAR yet. Hydration mixes and mushroom coffees. Right now, IQBARs offering our special buck has listeners 20% off all IQBAR products plus give free shipping to get your 20% off text trips to 64,000 text trips to 64,000 that's trips to 64,000 message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Did you travel around India? Did you did you hop around the country? Yes, yes. We went to three different cities. We went to Hyderabad. We went to we went to a few places. We saw the Fort and Rajasthan, which is one of the most amazing structures I've ever seen. It's built on top of these amazing cliffs and it's astonishing. It was so beautiful. You can't you have to go there like the pictures don't do it justice. And the villages are amazing because the enormous poverty and they deal with all kinds of the resilience of the people is astonishing. I've never seen more beautiful people and I mean, I don't mean stunning like there's but like there's spirit. Living in utter poverty. And they just get stuff done. You know, I mean, it's that is you know, if you ask them, okay, I don't know how to do this thing. They say, okay, I will make sure that that thing gets done and they will just figure out a way because they have a they've lived in a society where they're, you know, they've dealt with this poverty and they've always just had to do that. They've had to figure it out and they just do and it's amazing. You know, just just a remarkable time and it was funny because we got we got to the actual potable water facility and the whole idea was that they were giving free backpacks with water containers in them to the to the school children so that they could incorporate that into their day so that they go to school, pick up their water at the school and then take it home so that that would free up their mothers to pursue, you know, work or or education or whatever they wanted to do. And we get there and they've made this amazing, they've built this this raw Monument to the potable water facility that's going to be there for a thousand years, but it's with our family's name in it for some reason. And we're like, we didn't pay for it, we didn't build it, we didn't, you know, but just I think in a thousand years when the civilization falls, somebody will find this monument and think that we were water gods from another land. And it was, it was the monuments, John Cryer, not Alan Harper, correct? No, it was to John Cryer and Lisa, Lisa Cryer and our children and my mom, inexplicably. How old is your son, John? Well, my son Lee is 17, just turned 17. And my oldest. 26 year old Charlie. Do you still manage to travel with them? Those are like different ages and it's hard, I imagine. Well, no, Charlie, I took Charlie on a ski trip. We have so much fun, so, so much fun. And you know, it was great because when it's just two of you, you can like really figure out, okay, when do we actually want to ski? And when do we actually just want to sit and eat all day, you know, and we timed it out very well. Yeah, our father for our like eighth grade graduations took each of us on an individual just like you and dad are going on a trip. And Seth went to Pittsburgh, went to like a Steelers game, a Pirates game. It was like they were still crossing over as early enough in the football season. And my dad took me to Taos, New Mexico, so we could go skiing and it was just great. That's so fun. Yeah. That's amazing. Josh being the active brother and me being the passive one. What if we sat, what if we sat and watched other people be active? Have you, Lisa, once you found out about your Malaysian roots, did you ever, do you feel any pull to go there? I actually did. I actually did. Oh, wow. So how far after finding out that you had Malaysian blood, did you go? It was probably a year after I'm going to just give you some context. It was such a weird thing just because nobody, I was on TV in every day, every single day, at least one person would ask me what I was. And I got to a point where if you say you're adopted, it's like, oh, God, it's a whole story. So I would just go, what do you think I am? And they go, you know, Mexican. And I'm like, yes, see. So I would just do that. But anyway, when I found out I really was interested. And so my biological family and my father's side had planned, excuse me, a family reunion trip there. And I couldn't go for that long because of work, but I went there for like three days. And it was really important to do that, to sort of see people. And my niece, I think my niece came on that trip and she was the first person in my life. She's younger than me that people said, oh, how are you related? You look alike. And I was like, oh, I've never had that. And then when I met some of these women and men that I was really, excuse me, related to, they did look like me. And we started talking about the culture and the love of cooking and things that I have as well. So it was, it was fun. I wish I could have been there longer. It must be so overwhelming to both go and then also go with this sort of newly discovered family. It can't even imagine what it's like to, I mean, again, like it's one thing to meet, you know, extended family is always intimidating. But when you're also meeting immediate family, pretty much at the same time. Yeah, it is. Yeah, you're right on the nose. It was really weird because you actually feel like you're supposed to have this camaraderie, this bond, the shared experiences. I don't have that. You know what I mean? I didn't have that. Everybody else in the group had that. Oh, remember when we went here or this is aunt so and so and I was just kind of felt like an outsider, but I kind of wasn't. Had your biological father sort of briefed everyone before you arrived or were you kind of kind of a surprise? He did. No, no, he did. He did. When I first met them, you know, when I first, he said, oh, the family's going to want to meet you. He's the family and I go, oh, sure, sure. And there was, I said, yeah, give us like an hour or I'm going to freshen up and stuff. And then I went over to their house and there's like 25 Malaysians all in that house with all kinds of foods and every, I mean, I don't know how they did it so fast. Yeah. And I was in a fish bowl. So it and they kept and it was really funny because one of my cousins goes, wait, I watch you on TV. You know, it's very, very. What a trip. Did you, did you have siblings? Did you find out that you had siblings or was that I have full siblings? I had no half siblings. I have one half sibling on my biological father's side who was from a laser. Name is Claire. We're very close. My, that my niece that I was talking about. I'm super close with her. She's got two kids about the same age as my youngest. And we're very close. And then on my biological mother's side, I have a sibling. Name strawberry. Who, who latent life discovers they have a sibling name strawberry? I think I hold the record. You know what? I reluctantly, I'll admit that's more interesting than being for Baltimore. I'm definitely over the initial sting. And John, do you get an opportunity to travel with your sisters? No, not not not much. No. Okay. For holidays. Do you guys get together at all? Yes. Yes. We usually get together in New York with my mom. And I see them. And make him. Yes. She is very good at stewarding the family relationships. And you know, she lost, she lost her parents very young. So she's very conscientious about maintaining contact with families. I'm kind of like, I want to do a show. I want to do a movie somewhere. You know, that's what about, but your mom, your mom's still in New York then. Yeah, yeah. John. And so has she come and seen Putnam? Yes. She has seen Putnam County spelling bee. I enjoyed it quite a bit. So is my father who who lives in New Jersey. And he got me married and had four kids. Several of them have seen the show. So we're staying in contact. Dan is the one I met years ago in Edinburgh. Yes. He was the male model that I used to always. When I first met him, we weren't married. I said, that's your brother. Yes. Yes. My brother is a male model. Yes. Did you ever see that? Josh the midsummer's night stream on roller skates. It was like a. No. Yes. But the donkey show was a. Oh, no. Yes. I did. Then yes. Then yes. Yeah. Oh, that was nice. I forgot it was called the donkey show. But there's a hundred percent called the donkey show. Yes. Yes. It was Diane Polis' first thing. We always were always in New York to be on Seth's show for Thanksgiving. And then Seth and his goes to be with his family. But I've always on Thanksgiving day. I'm in New York and I've started going to restaurants, which I sort of love. I don't know that I would have done that anywhere else in the world. But it's a great. It's nice when someone else handles everything. So if you're in New York, if you're getting together with your sisters, your mom for a holiday. Or someone cooking, are you going out? My wife is amazing. An amazing party thrower as well. And will. But also if if she is, if the party is gotten so grandiose, she will. She's also great at finding people who will cook. As got you know, it's a, you know, it's a remarkable skill that I do not possess. Yeah. I mean, shout out to the, the Boucheries, the countless Boucheries in New York City. I think there's like five of them. But like I've been there on Thanksgiving. It has always done up for Christmas. And it's lovely to just have to like sit at a table and no one has to do anything. Just saying Lisa. I know. You know what? I'm a menopause, honey. I'm starting to look that way. No shame. You guys, this is so delightful to talk to both you highly recommend to all parties to check out John before he's done on this Broadway run in Putnam. And it also to check out Lisa's podcast plus one with Morgan. We need to have you guys on. We want not actually you, your wife. Don't. Although she's not you. She's a, she's a, she's a tough pull for. She does not love the spotlight. I know most of them don't. Yeah. Yeah. Most. She's turned many in the past. Okay. Just don't ask about what it's like to live with me. Don't bring me up. We do have the speed round before you guys go. Okay. Okay. You can only pick one of these. Is your ideal vacation, relaxing, adventurous or educational, relaxing, adventurous. Okay. What is your favorite means of transportation? Tandem bicycle. No, that is okay. Lisa, you're allowed to be on a different, different thing. That's so sad because now you're on a plane and John's alone. And on a tandem bicycle by myself. That's the great thing. That's the great thing out there. If you could take a vacation with any family alive or dead, real or fictional, other than your own family, what family would you like to take a vacation with? The Royal Tenant Mounds. No. What could be? Don't sell out your first instincts here. You can change if you want to. I'll stick with it. I immediately went like my dad. Now I feel bad about the Royal Tenant Mounds. Show Obama. The Obama's great. If you had to be stranded on a desert island with one member of your family, who would it be? Bam. Lisa, okay. Are you kidding? With each other, very good. What is your dream destination for a family vacation? You know what? For me, it may be revisiting Fiji. Because we had such an amazing experience. Yes, such an amazing experience. My mom went zip lining in Fiji. That was after India, I believe. She just does not care about, she'll just try everything. All right, John, you are from New York City. If you had to get more families to visit New York City, what would you tell them about that city? That there's never a dull moment and that it is so much more family oriented. And it's a great way to get your kids to stop complaining about stuff. Because once you've seen somebody straight up urinating on a subway platform, it just gives everything else perspective. And then Lisa, you're famously from Baltimore. Fort Myers. What do you consider your hometown? El Cajon or Fort Myers? L.A., maybe. I'm going to say that. L.A. is still long, yeah. Okay. If you had to get more families to come visit L.A., what would you tell them about L.A.? We have a room in the house. You can get away from the cold. The weather is always the same. You don't have to bring in a umbrella. I will get you a car to pick you up from the airport. Yes, I'm not going to the airport. Nope. Very good. Seth has our final questions. Have you been to the Grand Canyon? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes. Oh. Oh. That was my perfect answer. Because Lisa was honest in John Lyd. We all know that. Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. I don't like to pick favorites, but Lisa is my favorite. Lisa, what was it that you found lacking? It was cold. The kid was grumpy. Yeah. He was a little grumpy. I was. It was windy. I've seen pictures and videos. And it was hard to get to. Isn't it just the worst, too, that the grumpy guy is now the one out here being like, oh, yeah, it's the best. No, no, no. Because I also, I've been there more than once. But I said to him up for the way that I arrange our travel. Yes. He is so taken care of. It is embarrassing. It's like I'm taking a toddler. Hey, but I'm an entertaining toddler. Yeah. Instead of one that's, you know, just winding up. You're no. Lies. My wife would say you're a man and entertainment, which makes you a toddler. That's fair. That's fair. This is the best. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you guys. Thank you guys. And I'll make sure I'll work on Alexi for you, Lisa. Oh, thank you. Appreciate that. Bye. Bye. Bye. [Music] Lisa join her and John Cryer on the show. Talk about vacations. Lisa's parents were always on the go. We got a kid when they got restation. Adopted dad with military. So they were always moving. And the dad with family was a fused. All right. [Music] John kept mugging money in his shoe. And this was a green made that ox tail suit. Sisters, friends, old, dead, jump, dream, you're a kisser. Oh, she said I'm also a sister. [Music] Well all right. John saw suit got a part way event. I'm talking a burn of dead peers. She deciphered his true dissent. By looking at his ears. Lisa took the ride on trailways. You two back you got a greatest. Stop every time. You're true to nice for layers. So nice. That flight was the greatest. [Music] To a long flight to India. Live flat beds for John couldn't sleep well. The set of the full length of bed and bed and bed. Set John's mom took a pretty big hitter. [Music] But they had to throw the water station. And it was quite the cellar. Celebration. It really installed a water station. Someone had put their name on. Put their name on. The water station. Lisa found out she has a sibling named Strawberry. [Music]