Jim Gaffigan (THE SLEEPOVER SERIES)

This is episode of Sponsored by Helix Sleep. You go to helixleap.com, you take their sleep quiz, it takes like a minute, are you a back sleeper? Are you a backer side sleeper? - Side. - Same. - Funny you ask, okay? 'Cause I used to be a side sleeper on my life, but the last three weeks, both my sides hurt. I forced a sleeper on my back, and I never could, and I'm doing it now. And the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a Helix mattress. - Also, I've told you about this. Are you putting a pillow under your legs? - No. - I'm telling you, dad. - Put pillows under your legs, it puts pressure off your lower back. - I love Helix mattress. - They will mail the mattress to you. - Aunt Lauren has one. - Right. - Teddy got one. - Teddy got one. - We got one here, and the guest room. - People are loving their Helix. Mark, if you want to try one at your place, you get a 120 day money back guarantee. Go to helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off-site-wide. - 20% set-site-wide, that's helix-leap-dad/tyso. - Helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off-site-wide. - You know what I mean. - What's the sign? - Helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off-site. (upbeat music) - What do you have classes? - Yeah. - We'd love to see a man here. - See what I did there. - Yeah. - Now while you're getting your glasses and getting situated, I'm going to run to the bathroom real quick. There's anything you want to plug, go ahead, and then we'll wrap this thing up. - Nice to meet you, dude. - All right, I got to leave in like a minute. Is that a problem? - No, that's what I'm saying, plug your shit. - All right. All right, you might want to change your outfit while you're in there. - I will. This was from the other day. - Excuse me. - I don't know. I didn't have to hurt all of those people. - You don't know anything. - So Alvin, what do you, any advice? - Oh, really? Now talk to me. - Don't you walk away from me? - Yeah, 'cause there's whiskey. You don't have like clear glass. - That's all we have. - Oh, have you got another one? - Yeah. - He's got one. - Yeah, I'm pretty grabbing one. - Great. - All right, this is gonna be good, dude. - This is gonna be great. - Oh my gosh, does your dog bite? - That's not my dog. - No, he does not bite. - Oh wow. - Now he really loosened up. - Oh, he's getting all comfy now, he's like, oh yeah. - So Jim, do you feel that it's best for father time, how long does the father time whiskey take to kick it compared to the competing brains of whiskey? - Oh, that's an interesting measuring stick. - Come, I love. - It's not angled out now, but it's not really like that. I want it, father time bourbon is measured on its smoothness. There's, you know, like if you drink whiskey or you enjoy it, it really comes down to, it's a certain quality that it's not bad. I mean, like we've all, I don't know you, yeah. - Jim, asking how long it takes to kick in. - Kick in, asking for it's not an edible, it's liquor. - I'm not making you a drinker. - Do you ask people like, hey, how long does it take for this beer to kick in? - I ask for it like, so I drink a caffeinated drink. - I don't know. - I don't know. - Jim. - Yeah. - I'm asking how long it takes to kick in. So I drink a caffeinated drink, shall it, it's a magic mind and it takes me about 15 minutes to kick in. - What's magic mind? Is that one of your sponsors? - I found out about them when they started sponsoring me. - It's like Blue Choo or. - It doesn't get me hard. - Magic mind? - Either just necessarily Viagra. I took a Viagra years ago. - Right. - There was, it's a long story and maybe we'll get into it. - But it's burning. - It didn't know, it just made possible sex with it. At the time, this was the most beautiful woman that has ever been wanting to have sex with me. And I was intimidated and I wasn't able to, I like avoided even having her feel my penis. Anyway, the next time we hooked up, I'm like, "Oh no, I felt like I was two in my head." So I took a Viagra and I didn't get hard. I later found out that Viagras don't get you hard. They keep you hard. You still have to be sexually stimulated. And I was too nervous to be sexually stimulated. But it takes about 45 minutes to kick in, I think. - That's so interesting. I've never, I'm such a man. I've never needed assistance. - Interesting. I guess that's why they don't have a bourbon dick. It's just whiskey dick. - It is whiskey dick or the Irish curse. I think it's called the Irish curse too. - You've never gone soft? - Stop crushing your balls in uncomfortable jeans. Brilliant, all right, let me pitch you the way this could go. Go to the perfect gene.nyc and get 15% off your first order. - Free. - Shipping, free returns and free exchanges. When you use code. - Tysol 15. - Check out. - Cool. And then I'll say that's, and you say 15% off. I'll say four. You say new. I'll say customers. You say at. I'll say the perfect gene.nyc with. Then you say pro. Just say pro. I'll say mo. Together we'll say code. And then one letter of time. - T. - Why? - And then you say that last line, but look to camera and point. Tell them we sent you. Do it. Yeah, you get it? So we'll just do that. - This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. - I, Iris, have you ever been to rickglasband.com? - Every day after school. (laughs) - Well, did you know that my website is sponsored by Squarespace? You could check out squarespace.com/tyso for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code T-Y-S-O to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - That's code Tyso. - Yep, to save 10% off. - First purchase. - Of a website or domain. Ricky's on the loose. My last stand up tour date of the year is in Las Vegas at Wise Guy's Comedy Club in Times Square this 12th, December 12th and 13th. - Don't miss that show. It's gonna be hot. - January 9th, 10 and 11th. - We're in the desert. - Phoenix, Arizona. February 7th. - We're going to San Francisco Super Bowl weekend. - If you're gonna be there for the Super Bowl Sunday, I'll be doing two shows at Cubs on Saturday the 7th. March 26th through 29th. - Come visit us in Houston, Texas. - May 1st and 2nd. I'm gonna be in right here, Cleveland, Ohio. And the next weekend, which I think is 7th through 9th, I'm gonna be in Dallas, Texas. Make sure to go to punchup.live/rickglasband to get tickets to my show and sign up for my email list. I'm adding more dates and if you want to find out when I'm coming to your city, go to punchup.live/rickglasband because it's just, it's just slash follow to sign up for my email list. I'm hearing these noises and it's disgusting. I'm begging you, I'm begging you, okay? I'm begging you. Stop, 'cause it's just a growth sound. To find out when I'm coming within 50 miles of your city, which if my dad's there, you'll hear him if he's within eight miles of your city 'cause the way he'd choose and get rid of my noises for that. Ricky's on the loose, okay? - What do you 15th? - Oh yeah, no, I'm 59. But I look, I look 58. - I think you look 60. - Maybe 60, early, early, like 61 month. - Yeah, like you turn 60 this year. - I turn, I do turn 60 this year. - No, you don't. - I do? - I did my research, dude. - I do. - You turn 60 next year. - No, this year. - Your birthday was July. - Yeah, it is. - July has already passed. - I mean, first of all, you looked up my birthday. I don't know if we can call that research. What other research did you do on me? Did you watch live at Old Forrester? - Of course I watched it. - The bourbon set. - The bourbon set. - That's why I went here. - And I thought it was fantastic. And can I say something? We already know this. You're a joke machine, my friend. - Oh, well, thank you. - You're a joke machine, and I learned, or I remembered, or I just noticed, that you'll make jokes that are very dishonest. - Yeah. - But, and you don't wanna get off track. Like, you're make like a, I don't remember, but you've did it a few times. You make a joke that's ridiculous. But then you wanna, you don't want that to derail. The sets are you go, no, no, I'm just joking. And then you do the thing. It's a very quick aside. - Oh, thanks. - You've been doing this for a while. - Well, yeah, no, I think there's, I mean, that's also a tool of the inside voice. When you can comment on the joke, 'cause you can, you know, gain an additional perspective on a subject matter. - I, the inside voice, I think of it as a parenthetical. You know, he says the same little different like that. - Yeah. Well, there's a lot of voices in all of our heads. - Do you know what I mean? - I mean, at least there are in mind. - How long does it take for one of your, like, if you wanna change voices, how long does it take for that to kick in? - Oh, there's, they're swimming up there right now, right? And it's all about, I think people, we conventionally know it as anxiety, right? - No, I think, in a dialogue. - Yeah, I think the Irish and the Jews handle their anxiety different. - Right. - Yours comes from, what, family trauma? - Yeah, I don't know. I think there's a lot of mental illness on the island. - This is your island. - That is my grandfather. - That's your grandfather. but there's, you know. - Yeah, so like that was the whole idea behind this when I got into bourbon and whiskey. I, you know, it occurred at the same time when I was, all my kids were becoming teenagers which flipped my perspective towards my father and made me kind of have this epiphany about, you know, maybe he was right, you know what I mean? Quickly if I'm wrong, but having kids isn't the reason you drink but it is the reason you get drunk. - Yes, that is. - Yes. - And if you want more jokes like that, head to youtube.com/chickencock and find out what is the name of this set again? - It's live at old, a live at old forest or the bourbon set. - So you told me. - And it's just kind of like a passion project like I don't want people to think that, I mean, I intentionally didn't go to a big streamer because this is, I mean, you don't really drink. Half the comedians, if they did drink, they know half of them no longer drink. So it's a very niche audience that would be interested in this. So I just, this was all kind of. - I think you're, I think you're, you're warning people. - Yeah. - Is that what you're doing? - Well. - Because this is a, that's who, because you pitched this to me the same way. Almost like you're saying, I'm sorry. If you don't drink whiskey. - Well, some of it is, I think, I've been doing it so long that it, what, comedy or this comedy or this podcast. - No, I meant like you mean, been about bourbon. - No, no, doing stand up. And I have always kind of, I haven't aspired, but it's usually resulted where the material will work for a wide swath of people, meaning it's accessible, approachable to a lot of people. And I worry that, talking about whiskey for 40 minutes, might not be accessible to everyone. Do you think using words like swath is an acceptable thing? - I think that's, that's, that's me really kind of pulling out. I don't know if that's a $2 word, but that's like a $1.50 word. - Should we have a hit? - Yeah. - Is that what you call it? - It's not a hit. - How long have you been human? Like you're, like I only do weed, I don't drink. - So how often do you smoke weed? - A lot. - I don't smoke. - I just do edibles. - You just do edibles. - I just do edibles, but three is a week. - Do you like somebody who is kind of always a little bit high? - Yeah. That was, it seemed like a dishonest answer, you're like, no. - Interesting that your instincts are, when somebody thinks about the question, you feel that they're being dishonest, as opposed to having a stock answer ready. - That's true, that's true. So three times a week, so that means five times a week. Like whenever, like the joke is like when someone's like, you know, I have like a couple beers a night, you're like, all right, they have five beers a night. - Yeah. - I always kind of double it. - Because drinkers lie. - But pot smokers don't. - Never. - Is that, that's part of the pot smoker, you know, ideology is to never be dishonest about the amount. - There's an energy about pot smokers. - So there's Doug Benson, who's stoned all the time, and then there's, but a pot smoker will never lie. - It's not that a pot smoker will never lie, and yes, I just made this up, but now that I'm trying to validate it, I do think I could find some truth in the fact of, the energy of drinkers is, and this is a blanket statement, but it's more depressive than the energy of a weed smoker that is more like just wanting to chill out. And a lot of times if you're just chill, you don't have the need to be dishonest, you know? Like I think when you're chill, there's more of a lack of shame than when you're like, ah, I don't want to admit this. - It's interesting, because my evolution with drinking, and obviously I had material initially in my first comedy central thing, where I talked about the fact that I don't drink, and people are always like, you don't drink, why? Why don't you drink? And so like, I never thought that I would be a whiskey drinker. I thought, okay, I'll do this to get buzzed, but here's the thing is like, I think, and I was a beer drinker, some of it is kind of as a way to kind of monitor my consumption, but beer makes me feel bloated and whiskey doesn't. I think pot, it's anti, in a way, I think it's anti social. If you're with good buddies, maybe that's okay, but otherwise I feel like there is, you know, like they always talk about like, oh, Americans aren't drinking alcohol anymore, they're only doing weed. - Who's they? - They, meaning the Jews. No, I don't know. - Who's they? - You're sourcing somebody. There was a Gallup poll that alcohol consumption is down dramatically. - Well, they were just horseing around. - And no, and so much sourcing. You have to have children, 'cause there's a lot of dad joking. - And can't wait. There's a lot of dad joking you. - And I'd love to put a lot of dad joking, a beautiful, kind, smart woman who could then have this child with me or children. - Yeah. - Oh, can't wait. - Yeah. - Almost 30, and it's getting anxious. - You're gonna be fine. - Thank you. - And by the way, it's like, there's plenty of time. - Yeah, I mean. - No. - I know that like, you might even say there's. - I know you're ovulating. - Father time. - There's father time. - Precautious, batch, am I writing that right? Is that precautious? Is that precautious? - Let me see. - What's this word? - A rainbow. - A rainbow. - Raised with. - What's the P word? - Precious batch. - Bro. You think it's like sick? - No, I'm just, you know. I have my strengths and weaknesses. - Oh, that's interesting. - I, you know, I believe I have an undiagnosed learning disability. - And that's my way of saying you do, too. - I was in the special classes that I was in. - Then I had to go to the special school. - Really? - And I don't mean the special school for the virtuoso pianists. - And so like, you had some, you have a learning discipline. - I think all comedians are like on the spectrum and a little bit wonky. - I don't, whatever I have or don't have, I don't think was connected to me having to go to PEP, which is positive education program for the people that like, you know, trouble makers. - Were you a trouble maker? - That's the thing. I threw a book in the air and it landed on a teacher. I honestly did not mean to hit the teacher, but why was I throwing the book in the air? And there's a lot of other things I don't want to get into now. I'm excited to meet you and have you on there. - And that teacher died. I mean, that book was, it was a Torah. It was like one of those big heavy books. - I mean, and it's smushed. - This teacher was 90 years old. Like, you rephrase this. It was a metal book filled with knives. - Is a Torah a book? Is it, I don't know? - It's a scroll. I don't know. Do I look Jewish? I don't know. - You're apparently according all of their studies. You know what, I'm just, you know. - How long is this going to take to kick in? Because I think we should have a sip. Now, to each person drinks one of these. How much is this? - It's, yeah, no, this, all right. So, do you know how like there's levels of alcohol percentage? - Yes. - This is relative. - Correctly if I'm wrong, but a bourbon is technically 51% corn and 49% BS, is that correct? - Yes, yes. - And that's half true. - That's, and so like here, yeah, let's try this. So, make sure you check out his special on YouTube at youtube.com/jimgaffigan and leave a comment to let him know how accessible and approachable it is. - No, more so like, how much, like, how big Rick Glassman is in the podcast game. - I mean, you're right here. So. - Well, I'll use this one 'cause I rinsed it. - Okay. - Instead, they were washed, but. - You don't trust me. - It takes out face value. - You don't trust them. - Wow. - It's not that I don't trust their intention. It's that I don't trust the people's execution. - Okay, here. So, we're just gonna, I don't want, you know what I mean. - Tell me if I'm doing this right. Here's my impression of a guy who drinks bourbon. - So here, you wanna know how to drink it? First of all, all right. You smell it first. - Yeah. - And you smell with your mouth open. Okay. 'Cause that's part of the experience. Now I'm turning into this annoying nerd that 'cause I don't, you know, I think it's just kind of like, if you enjoy it, you enjoy it. But like, understand also, the first sip, your palette is not used to alcohol. So your first sip, don't judge that. So like, let's just take a quick sip. - Get out of the way. - All right, get that out of the way. Okay, just swallow it. Okay, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. Now your palette is adjusting. It's spicy, right? But it's also smooth, just agree. All right, so now this is the real test. Some people think the second or the third, what if I'm just making all this up? Some people think it's the 23rd and then you're like throwing up. Some people think after you throw up, that's it, is that. All right, so smell 'cause some of the, do you like this smell? - I'll tell you something. It's making me wanna, it's making me wanna get into fights [BLANK_AUDIO] No, it's not like that. It does smell, there's a little orange in there. Yeah, and you know what's amazing about whiskey is all the flavor. I mean, some of the flavor comes from the grain, but most of it is smooth. Yes. And some of that is the hops. No, that comes from the wood. So those barrels, that charred oak barrel is where all the flavor comes from. So like this would be, you know how vodka is clear before it's put in the barrel. It doesn't have any color. Anyway, I should teach bourbon at a university. This is making me feel like I'm out on the country. Right. Maybe a log bit more. But when you turn the lights down low, get the music down the softest. Yeah, no, I love that song. Okay, it's got the deepest voice. Josh Turner. Josh Turner. So how much is a bottle of this cost? My guess is it's 125, 150 bucks. It is. And which is not cheap, but like this is a very small batch. But this is not that this should be 92.4. Yeah, 92.4. 92.4. No, 92.4 proof. So like 92.4 proof is this is approachable. Meaning it's accessible. Whereas I like, I prefer a higher proof, like 120 or 130. I have this. Why can we go above 100? Shouldn't 100 be the top? It's some of it. I don't understand it. Some of it is the ABV alcohol per thing. And they travel it instead of Celsius. But above 140 is called hazmat. What is like, what's that ever clear? Is that what it's called? Yeah. What is that proof? I think that's like 160. What are we doing at that point? It's like, I like spicy because it's fun and I like the taste. But I don't want to have something that hurts me. Right. So why we, this 92.4, which sounds like a radio station. Yes. It sounds, it's a two point for a father of time. But no, it's, and if it gets too high, the reason it's called hazmat because you can't take it on a plane because it's flammable. Isn't that interesting? Yes. It's not hazardous waste. I think that's some of the storytelling. Hazardous waste maybe is what happens, isn't it? If you have too much of this, don't you end up having whiskey shits? Isn't that a thing? You know, the thing is, yeah, I mean, you can get pretty messed up on it. But what is so good about bourbon is-- Yeah, two. Yeah. And there was a time when they thought this was medicinal. Isn't that insane? I learned a lot from watching your special. Right. But you don't want to call it a special. No, it's scared to call it a special. Sorry, I'm putting this on. I'm not even putting on the streamers because it's such a loser. It's just by the, by the, by the talented Mike Lavin. That's right. Homeless Pimp. Homeless Pimp. And yeah, so it's, it's self assignment as, you know, all comedy is-- All of itself assignment. Right. No one says, hey, you, I mean, people say you're funny, you should be a comedian. But like that last step to go on stage is the self assignment. You know, that first time you went on stage, you know. Yeah, but I don't even mean it that spiritually. I'm just saying everything you're doing, you're doing is you want to talk about that thing. Yeah, you, you, if you talk, if somebody does a set all about being a father. Yeah. Like I'm not going to the streamers. It's just for people who are fathers. You know, it's you're doing a thing and it's, you got the background, you got the jokes. Yeah. No, it was fun. And it is, you know, the weird thing is you bring up that father aspect. But when I started talking about my kids and my standup, I was very mindful to not talk about it too much. This is initially, I've been doing standup 500 years. But like I remember when I started standup, I would watch comedians and they would discuss their wives or their husband or their children. And I'd be like, I'm, you know, I can't get a date. I don't know what you're talking about. Don't you ever feel that way sometimes when you watch a comedian, you're like, I don't know what you're talking about. Like I do think that, you know, some of the task is I'm not, I'm not trying to divide the audience or do a show for just everyone. I want to, I want to bring together people. I want to save the world. What about wanting to bring together people without you feeling the need to make a joke out of the cornice of it? How much, what about that is true? I think that is pretty true. I don't want, I don't like us and them stuff. I think we have a lot more in common than what? Well, there's a lot in between us and them and uniting everybody. For example, talking about whiskey or being a parent, that being a parent isn't saying it's, it's the dads versus the non-dads. It's just you talking about something that is specific to you that might not be as relatable to everybody else. But I don't think that's something to avoid. Yeah, no, it's, I'm not saying that there's, you said that though. That's what everyone is saying. All right, all right, I'm guilty. All right, fine. Just take the law. Quite comedy. Fine. No, it's not that easy. Okay, fine, this stuff, man, I'll tell you, it's making me feel like a man. Right, it does. That's another one. It's kind of like bourbon is kind of like the man's Shania Twain song. You can't give away my punch lines. Whatever, man. So, all right, so. Let's talk. Now, you know that, let's talk about you. I really am. I really already, it's kicked. I'm so sensitive with cap with anything. Even when I do all the time, I take five milligrams and it gets me high. Oh my gosh. Yeah, definitely. So, like, I really, the last time I drank and the only time I really drink like this kind of stuff, always when I did Santino's, are you friends with the interesting team? Yeah, I mean, well, I, you know, I love him as I love all comedians. You know what I mean? I've done it. I don't know what you've done. I'm like, you're ready for president. He seems like a good egg. I've met him twice. Speaking of good egg, we met twice before today. And the second time we met was at the good egg show the other day. Yeah. But I had to hit like a hit of that. Yeah. And within a few minutes, I'm like, I, I almost understand the want to drink. I just don't have it. No, well, I think that's good. And I think around drunk people. Oh, things evolve. Like, like I said, I never thought I would be a whiskey drinker. I never, I never thought I'd have five kids. It's like, I have five kids. So like, you know, like all these expectations or realities that we exist in can shift pretty dramatically quickly. Bruce Lee says you want to be like water. Right. Do you know what I mean? That meaning just you flow through things? Oh, I thought about it. Maybe I think it would make it like good frozen when it's cold out. Boy, it was like water. Like, you know, like turn into vapor when you're really. You know, you move like the things, you know, if you're stuck in a cup, if you're water and you're stuck in a cup, you're bound by the ridges of the world that is surrounding you. But if you allow yourself to be the water and not to be the water in the cup, things evolve and change and it's fluid. Absolutely. That's why I think that applies to comedy. I think comedy is ever evolving. And so that's why there are comedians that are great in certain decades. And that's why the fact that a comedian can be relevant over four decades is really impressive. Someone like John Feld. Huh? Congratulations. No, well, I'm not talking about myself. I'm not anything because you're friends with Jerry. Yeah. Congratulations. I'm friends with Jerry. You know, he said he doesn't like you. Is that bad? No. I would love if he even spoke about me. Dude, we met and I'm saying this to the audience, not to you because maybe you remember. But we met at Gotham, maybe two years ago. Yeah. And I was about to go up and you and Jerry came in and you went up and then Jerry went up. And then I went up. And that was so it's still like there's a novelty of going up after somebody. It just exists. Absolutely. You know, like that you're such a fan of. And then Jerry had to go up after you. But I got to go to after you. Yeah. And then I had a really good set. Right. And you guys had left. But you messaged me and you're like, "Hey, sorry. I couldn't stay for your set." Yeah. So fucking cool that like I've just been a fan of yours for a while. Well, I've loved your podcast. I was wondering why you even messaged me. You saw the podcast. I've seen clips of the podcast and I've seen some stuff and really funny. Really kind of different and unique. And you know, I love Todd Glass and kind of the playful aspect. We love Todd Glass. You have a spirit of Todd Glass. So I'm pro all those people. You know, I mean that are kind of silly and. Do you know one? Do you have another little head? Yeah, you should have another one. It's early in the day. Right. You know, it's like, I don't want you to like. Because I don't even have a full drink. You didn't even pour me a drink, right? Well, the thing is is you sip whiskey. You don't drink it like a beer. But what I mean by that is an ounce is considered a drink. Yes. So I'm probably now with what you gave me and what this is. This is probably now I'm in an ounce total. Yeah, probably. So I'm having a drink. Yeah. And they call it a pour. Yes. A pour, which is I think it's kind of weird. I am trying to not say your punchlines now. That's right. I just keep coming up. What besides me, who's been your favorite guest on the podcast? Oh, I mean, that's I guess you won't. my favorite movie is or who my favorite guest is. - Yeah. - I can't tell you a favorite. - That's what I'm asking is. - Yeah, I can't tell you a favorite. But in no particular order and I might be leaving up people who I enjoy getting more. And this is not a political answer. It's just what's coming to me right now. - I love playing so much. Who do I play with? Lisa Gilroy, Andrew Santino. I have the best friends club thing where I have when I have my two buddies Brent Moore and Adam Rayon together. - Yeah. - And how did you get to know these? Your comedy world. - My world. - Your comedy world of, I like, where do you start? Did you start? You're from Cleveland. - As I started there. - You started in Cleveland, then you went to LA. - I went to LA and then I was doing stand-up sometimes, but I was really doing improv. I really wanted to get into acting and improv. I like the teams, I like the team thing. - Yeah. - And it was tough to get on stage at doing improv shows because I went to UCB for classes. I went to groundlings, I got, I'm one of five people who's blacklisted from the groundlings. - That's an accomplishment. - Just from the audition process. And so you auditioned and there were like, you should never come. - Before the audition, it's a long story. I don't need to get into too much. But basically, I was talking to someone behind me while they were taking a roll call. And the guy said, you two out, they kicked us out. And I was like, oh, I really wanted to be in groundlings, but it wasn't that deep. I was like, oh, and then we were walking out. He's like, aren't you glad those people aren't going to be in your class? I guess we were just being annoying or whatever. And an improv audition. So then I, I-- - And the two people that were kicked out were Jewish and the other one else was not. - I don't know. - It was, and when you left, he said, got rid of him. Is that true? - I don't want to, I don't want to create-- - So what you're saying is the groundlings-- - I don't want to create that. - I don't want to create that. Because I don't believe that's the case. And I think it's important to not make those kinds of jokes. That's your brand. - I know, I know. - You like to bring up a together. - You like to bring people together. - But that's interesting, you don't seem like a troublemaker. - Well, I did go to PEP. And I then signed up again in a different name. And I auditioned, and they have to audition. They're like, all right, great, you get to go to class. And then I gave him my credit card. I had my name on it. They must have had that saved. It was over a year later. And they said, hey, we see that you were not supposed to put a blah, blah, blah. You can't ever audition for this again. And I have my friend, Tony Cavalero, who is part of the main company for a while. He asked about it. And he goes, yeah, I saw, there was a list of five names. And you're one of them. Look at me now. - And look at you now, right? - Yeah. - I mean, really, you've really kind of stuck it to us. - But it was tough to get on stage doing improv. It was easy to go and stage doing stand-up. So I'm like, I just want to get on stage. I want to write stuff. - So you don't care about stand-up, it's not your passion. - When I first got into it, it wasn't, I didn't know - It was about stage time. - It was about creating stuff, whether it's on camera, on stage, alone with other people. It was just like, it was like, I have all these ideas. And I want to like try them. - Yes, yes. - And then I didn't, I still didn't fall in love with stand-up for it. I did it because I thought I would be good at it one day. And I honestly feel like I've been doing this in 2007. I think I got good at it three years ago. And I've been loving it now. - You know, can I just say as someone who's seen your stand-up, you haven't gotten good at it. - You haven't seen my stand-up. - I haven't seen it. I haven't. And you know, some of that is 'cause I'm afraid that I'm gonna fall in love. - The perfect gene. - Look at those. Look at that gene. Let's see, the glass ones are infamous for having no ass. Turn around. Not great, but there's a little bump. Mom, what do you think of these genes? - I know, I know. - That have a seat. I can't even feel them. - They're like, they're nice, right? I've worn genes for a long time and we've had these genes for, I don't know, six or eight weeks since it did our last commercial. And I don't take 'em off if they're-- - The denim blend. - They're so off like a sweat. - Like a sweats, yeah. That's what's so great about the perfect gene. Not only are these the perfect genes, but dad, you have pretty perfect genes too. - And I share them with you. - Yes, just like in that controversy with Sydney Sweeney, 'cause of her huge tits. - Or she wants everyone to be white. - I don't know, but I'm pro Sydney Sweeney. Let me just say this for a second, okay? Just because you have massive tits, doesn't mean that you need to be a massive asshole to her, right dad? Do you know what I'm talking about? - Yeah, I'm not on the Sydney Sweeney bandwagon of yet. I'm still talking how perfect these goddamn genes are. - Okay. - All right. - And I'm sure they look great on her. Top-or-bottoms. By the way. - Oh, it's funny that you bring that up. Because the perfect gene isn't just about the perfect gene, is it dad? - No, not any longer. - You had to pick a material that they're made out of. 100%, what would you say would be best case? - Cotton. - And for a limited time, our listeners get 15% off their first order plus. Free shipping, free returns, and free exchanges. If you use promo code, TISO 15, the perfect gene, it has stretch just as much as your elastic waist. - Okay, and it's part of the gene. This is the perfect gene. And did you throw away my jello? Before we set a shooting this spot, my wife accused Ricky of throwing out her jello. - Because we have two identical bowls and I used one of them to defrost the dog food. - She did to me the other day where I couldn't find the paper towels. - Three days later, she's walking at me like I committed a darn crime. - Excuse me. - But at the end of the day, it's finally time to stop crushing your balls in uncomfortable genes by going to the perfect gene. NYC, our listeners get 15% off your first order plus. Free freight, free exchanges, and free returns. - When you use code, TISO 15, a checkout. That's, tell 'em why you heard, where you heard it by the way, tell 'em what you heard it. - That's 15% off for new customers at the perfect gene.NYC with promo code, TISO 15. After your purchase, I'll ask where you heard about us. Please let 'em know. - Tell 'em us. - And listen, this is what it says here. Let's bleep this first word, but look at that. - It says, "F*steric, asteric, K." - You're khakis and get the perfect gene. - This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Now Iris, you said you go to my website every day after school, is that correct? - No. - What do you like about it? - It's really beautiful. It seems like it was really hard to make. - What do you mean, why does it look like it was hard to make? - Well, just all the pictures and the way it's organized. - So you like the layout of what, just the store? Or do you like all the pages? - I'm all about the toilets, bro. - You like my tour dates? Very cool. Are you old enough to get into one of my shows? - Rick, I'm 47. - All right. What do you know about Squarespace? - I know it's an all-in-one website platform. - Designed to help you stand out and succeed online. So Squarespace is sponsoring this episode, but truly, I've been using them for years way before they were a sponsor of this podcast. I looked at different places, and I don't know, I just landed on Squarespace. - I bet it cost the arm and the leg. - You'd be surprised, Iris. Are you only saying that because you recently signed up for a website platform that cost a lot of money? - Let's just say it cost me more than this leg. Inflation is killing me. - Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise. - And engage clients with video content on your website. - Go to squarespace.com/teso for a free trial and when you're ready to launch. - Use offer code Tyso. - That's T-Y-S-O to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - That's squarespace.com/teso. - And when you're ready to launch, use offer code. - Tyso. - Tyso, that's right, to save 10% off your first purchase of a website. - This episode is sponsored by Helix Sleep. You go to helixleap.com, you take their sleep quiz, it takes like a minute, or you go back sleeper, or you go back your side sleeper. - Side. - Same. - Front of you ask, okay, 'cause I used to be a side sleeper on my life, but the last three weeks, both my sides hurt. I forced to sleep on my back and I never could, and I'm doing it now, and the only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm on a Helix mattress. - No. - I'm telling you, dad, put pillows under your legs, it puts pressure off your lower back. - Right. - Teddy got one. - Teddy got one. - We got one here and in the guest room. Mark, if you wanna try one at your place, you get a 120-day money back guarantee. Go to helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off site-wide. - 20% set site-wide, that's helixleap.com/tyso. - helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off site-wide. - What's the site? - Helixleap.com/tyso for 20% off the site. - Or domain. - No, but like, I, it is weird. You know, I've been doing stand-up so long when I started the microphones were wooden. (laughing) So stupid. - You're from Illinois, right? - That's kind of personal, but yeah. - Yeah, I don't know about that. - You know, you're from Ohio, Illinois. I know there's the rivalry, right? - No, I'm not us first time. - You're not, you're not like that. - No. - But so, all right, so you and Adam and Brent were, you met in LA at the store or where? - I'll answer this, and we can continue this conversation, but based on your energy, I feel like you're making fun of interviews. - Really? So you would add wood to-- - No, no, no, no, I'm trying. This is just, you know what, I'll be honest. - Yeah, don't try, just let's just be here, man. - I just should just breathe, right? Why don't you have it, you know what? Let me give you a swan. - It is a Swindle. - Let me give you a Swindle more. - A Swindle, I believe the term is. - What if Swindle took off? If people were like, you know where Swindle actually started? Is it true that the name of this podcast is you can take your shoes off, right? - It's take your shoes off. - Take your shoes off. Oh, I thought it was you can take, I was gonna do a joke about that. - Well, you do it again, say it again, that's what you got. - Is it true that this podcast is named, you can take your shoes off. - Y-C-T-Y-S-O. - But it used to be, you can take your shoes off, but we'd prefer you don't. - Was it worth it? - I don't think it was worth it, but you know. - It's important for people to see this kind of stuff. - Yeah. - Even Jim Gaff again. - Right. - Could say something that wasn't worth it. - I don't know. - How much money has Hot Pockets made you? - I would say $10. - Come on. - No. - You've done a Hot Pockets commercial? - No. - No, I haven't. - I turned it down. - I turned it down. - Why? - Because. - It wasn't enough money. - It was more about, I don't want to be, I don't want to be known for one bit. But if I died right now, it would be Hot Pocket. Like if it was in the beginning. - If you died in 30 years, that's what it would be. - I don't think you're cash. - I think you're gonna be in 30 years of people who you're gonna be known. - I'm gonna be known as the guy who did the bourbon set. - Why? - Live from Old Forestry. - So go to youtube.com/jimgaffagin and let him know Rick Glassman sent you. - But the Hot Pocket thing, it's a blessing and a curse and all this. - You go like this. Remember this, you go like, "Oh, Hot Pockets!" People are just like, "Jimgaffagin!" You know what, a fucking major fucking career dude. You are nothing. Sorry, I'm just drunk. - You're a fucking loser. - Hey. - Sorry man, it's the whiskey. - It's the whiskey talking. - And I'm soft right now. - This may be the whiskey talking. But yeah, no, I-- - Hot Pockets. - Hot Pockets. - Will you do the hot Pocket bit for the people that don't know it? - No. - Come on dude. - No. - Suck your dick. - Not interested. - I won't suck your dick. - Still not interested. What? But there is something you want to be known as multifaceted. - Yes, you want to be fluid. - Like I love acting. - But it's weird because we work in the perception industry and you have no, in some ways you have no control over how you're perceived. So always. - Right. But particularly in the entertainment industry, some of it is just there. I think the entertainment industry is relatively risk averse. And so I have been doing acting. I'm talking to them. But I've been doing acting for a long time yet I'm people are like comedian Jim Gaffer. I'm like, I've probably been in more movies than a lot of actors. But the perception. - Very cool. - The perception is that all I do is tell. - It's casting maybe. - I've been doing stand-ups in 2008. People think I'm a podcaster because I haven't put out any stand-ups. - Exactly. - Exactly. When I first had my, beyond the pale special come out, there was a review or there was a lineup in USA today where they used to do that. I don't know if they do that anymore. And there was a little blurb. And it said sit-com actor, Jim Gaffigan. - That was the last time you were called an actor. - That's the last time I was called an actor. And then beyond the pale and hot pockets did very well. But yeah, no, I want to be known as more than one bit. - May I challenge you? - Yes. - In a way that's going to be annoying and it's going to be a therapy talk. What is, what you want to be known for, that energy of spending what you want to be known for, that is completely out of your control? - Yeah. - What value does even considering that stuff offer you as opposed to just doing what you do and it's received the way it is? - I can appreciate what you're saying, but I think that there is, you have to understand the environment. You have to listen to what people are hearing. That's the true beauty of standup is, we all have our perceptions of ourselves. And then when we go on stage, first couple of years, you're like, oh, I didn't realize I even came across like that. - Yes. - Which is, which is, you know, being self-aware, but like there is something, you know, like I was an athlete in high school in college, not like a great athlete, but like I'm not perceived as an athlete, which is very weird, you know, in some ways, but like some of that, I didn't learn that until I got on stage, right? You projected that people saw you the way you see you. - Yeah, like I saw, like when I was in Indiana, and I was like, I gotta get the hell outta here. I'm gonna go to New York, that's where I belong. And then when I got to New York, people were like, you were the most midwestern guy in the world. And I was like, am I? And now I'm very aware that I'm very midwestern. - Yeah, there's a Venn diagram of how you're perceived and how you want to be perceived. And-- - And Jordan Peterson understands those things. - But once you understand how you're being perceived, then you don't make the choice to try and change that. I'm gonna do more jokes about being an athlete. But like even the idea of like, oh, I'm just talking about whiskey or I don't wanna talk too much about being a dad or whatever. It's like, at least for me, because it's so hard for me to know how I'm being received. Unless I believe the person who feels safe enough to tell me the answer. But like, it's not about who I am. It's about what, it's about my point of view. It's about what I'm thinking about. And whether you see that as connected to me, or I'm just a vessel for somebody talking about something that you connect to or you don't. Like, I don't want to not talk about something because what if I think this, you know? - No, I understand that. I totally understand that. And some of it is, you know, I don't want you to think that, you know, it's interesting 'cause in a way, we're talking about self-sensorship. And that's not my point. My point is being aware of things can guide you. And so like me talking about, hey, this is a bourbon set. This is not a comedy special, is understanding or having the awareness that if I educate people that this is a passion project, I can possibly have some influence over their expectations. - Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's so great expectations. - It's, it's, you don't have control over the perception, but you can have control over perception. - But that's you talking about the piece. - Yes. - I'm saying the piece in its vacuum. - Yes. - You could say and you even do. But you could like up top just so you know, if you're not into whiskey, you know, take a hike, you know, with Kevin Neeland. And, but like, yeah, I don't know. I don't, I want to, I think I want to change subjects because I could get deep into this stuff and I don't think it's that, I don't want to be stubborn. - Here's what I, well, we can talk about this because maybe this will prompt you. I think that there is self-awareness approaching things with humility is really important. - Thank you. - And so I think that if you, and that's not to say, I mean, I admire people that have kind of this undaunted confidence. By the way, vulnerability I think is really important to a people bond with comedians. And I think you have a lot of vulnerability and what I'm saying is your weak. No, but I think vulnerability is a key element to the stand-up comedy. I mean, you know, Richard Pryor, brilliant, but like people really, I think they bonded with that sense of vulnerability. And it's not a universal thing. Like, look, Chris Rock, he doesn't, Chris Rock and Jerry Sunfeld don't wreak of vulnerability, but there's exceptions to everything. I think the vulnerability of like, I'm trying to think of like, or the humility of like even, or humbleness of Nate Burgazzi is pretty, like I think Daniel's an exception to that. Anthony Jesselnext's an exception to that. I think Bill Burz an exception to that. - I've noticed that all the examples he've given are either white comedians or black comedians. - Right. - Also male comedians. - Right. - Do you tell me any of your favorite female comedians of color that you love? - Yeah, Wanda Sykes, very, but she doesn't wreak of vulnerability, but I think Sarah communicates a lot of vulnerability. - Interesting that you assume that I know who Sarah is by her first name, but Wanda, you would think I was thinking of a different Wanda. I would argue that there's more Sarah's and Silverman than there are Wanda's and Sarah. That's some of being as Aryan looking as me, people have to be like, can we look at his search history? Can we meet? I don't get what you're saying. - I used to have this joke about like being so white looking, I don't know if I ever did it as a joke, but like when I was in college, I took an African-American literature and you were a signed an English class, and you had no control over what that class was. And I was placed in African American literature, and I was like, okay, this is great. I know there's some great African American literature. And I got in, and half the room was white people, and half that was black people. And then like the next week half, most of the white people left, they're like, I'm not doing this. And I stayed because I'm brave. No, but the great irony is a lot of African American literature they use, you know, like any literary devices where they talk about exaggeration. So the bad guy was usually the paleist blue-eyed guy. And so some of it is like, when I started stand up, it was a lot of being this pale white guy thing. - You know, speaking of knowing how you're being received and connecting with people, I noticed that you did a couple of things in your, I'm gonna call it a special, where I was actually taken out for a second, because I was noticing how you were not letting other people get taken out. And an example that would be when you're talking about buying wine at a table and you're looking for something preferably two digits, something that preferably starts with the one. And I think if you were buying a bottle of wine that was $20 some dollars, you would think no different than a bottle that was $14. And I thought to myself, and I'd like to have this conversation and we get at it at the south if I'm really hammering on your ass. - No, no, no, no. - Yeah. But I thought starting with a one is going too far the other way to connect to the common folk. Because if you're buying a bottle of wine, they're fine with it, could start with a two. And I think it's an equilibrium. - Well, it could also. - I think realistically a bottle of wine in a restaurant that would have a wine menu, it probably would be 30. So that's more, so my point, I was just giving you one. - But what's hyperbole? And that's also-- - That's starting with a one. I don't know, it's not dramatic enough. I don't think it was, it didn't read to me as a joke that this is a cheap bottle of wine. It read to me as a joke of you're trying to connect with the common folk. - Oh, no, no, not at all. I mean, by the way, I think that, you know, I know nothing about wine. You know, the wine menu thing is-- - It's wine daddy. - It's something-- - Yeah. - You don't check out the special list. - It's like, so it is, so it plays into a lot of my insecurities. I've not had many interactions. - Wait, what does, talking about wine? - The, you know, the awkwardness of being out to dinner and picking the wine and you're supposed to test it for the whole table. - And you feel insecure about it? - I feel because I'm like, I don't know what it's supposed to taste like. Do you know what it's supposed to taste like? - No, but I don't know what this is supposed to taste like. I didn't feel insecure saying I smelled orange. - But I think that like there's a certain, for me when I go out to dinner and I, you know, some of it is, you know, that's interesting that you bring that up because in writing the bourbon said, I did not do, I did not do it for like two years. I did it for, this is like six or eight months of material. Like I had a couple bourbon jokes and then I was like, and I knew that I couldn't do a special, you're gonna record a special soon, right? Now what, it'll change these rules, but now the rules are kind of like, you can do a special every two years. And so some of it is, I'm all self-assignment. So I was like, I wanna do something that it will not interfere with that rule of like you can do a special every two years, meaning sell it to Hulu or Netflix or Amazon. And, but I wanna also, because assignments are so important to me. - But how is a special not a self-assignment? - It is, but some of it is, there's also some fatigue. You know, some of it is you have to, so like in touring, you can't go to a market. Even your best market, if you're doing a theater, you can't go there every year. People need to want to see. - I know, I've had conversations with the audience and this is not everybody shares that perspective, but I understand it. I personally feel like you would go to a market as many times as you want. For me, my rule is, and I don't wanna go back to a market with the same material. - Yes. - So chances are I'm doing the same material. If I'm starting it now, I'm still doing it next year. But it's not because I was there last year. It's because I did this there last year. - That's interesting. - And that's for me, like there's some markets where I went for one night. And I'm like, all right, I'll go there for a weekend. - Right, right. - Because like I did DC last year, one show. And I was just talking to me. Like I wanna do a weekend there. But like, if I go to DC and perhaps a great club. - Great club, great club. - But there's places where, like I did Chicago and I did one night, but I did two shows. And it was like, I think 800 people or 720 people came. - Yeah. - So I'm like, I don't know if I were to go back again. - Is that the BIC? - No, I did two shows at the Dan or whatever. - The Dan, yeah. - I'm like, I don't think I have that many people that wanna come see me where it would be a nupe. It would be a lot of the people would be of those 720 people. And I'm like, I don't think I don't wanna do that again until I have new stuff. - I mean, I totally nerd out on this stuff 'cause I think it's important to be aware of. First of all, you can look at Nate and Nikki Glazer. It's like they're in this flight mode where Nikki and Nate could go back to markets every six months and there could be new people. At this moment. - Sure. - But like if it's new people, if you're big enough draw. - And so I also, I mean, I have a unique view in that I think, supposedly the conventional wisdom is every 18 months, but I think every 18 months a certain portion of your audience will come. So in other words, you know, I'm doing shows in Denver and I'm doing shows in DC. I have, there's a pool of audience that enjoy my standup in Denver, St. Louis, DC. And I'll go to those markets every two years. I don't expect most of those people to go. I expect half of them to go every two years and then the other half to be the other two years. - So much to think about. - Right. - My reasoning is I for years struggled repeating material because I felt like a liar. And I know other people could connect to this in some way. Maybe it's not an obstacle for them. - Yeah. - But like, so for years. - Because some of that is the improv spirit. Like you can't repeat. - Yeah, I don't think it comes from an improv spirit but I think maybe that's why I connected so much with it because of just being fully present someplace. But it was just, it was just I was unpracticed in the craft of repeating stuff. I just felt insecure that they know what I'm gonna say or they've heard this already or they know what my intention is if I'm leaning into playing a certain type of tone. Blah, blah, blah. So I've been repeating stuff now. And it's a very important thing to do to build an act. But like, yeah, even like I have friends in Los Angeles that like come out, they like come into shows, they're friends with other comics, they come a lot. And I, this is what I'm about to explain to you is a feeling that I've, I don't know if I haven't fully gotten over but it's not a huge obstacle for me anymore. But emotionally it's still something that I have to check myself and logically tell Rick it's okay when a friend comes and I know they've seen me 10 times, 15 times. I am thinking that I don't want to be thinking about them when I'm on stage. I don't want to be thinking about anybody while I'm on stage. I want to be in the audience with everybody while I'm on stage. Best case scenario. So like if I'm going to a market that I've been to already and these are people that aren't just seeing me but people that specifically came to see me, I'm gonna be thinking there's gotta be at least 20 people in here that's seen this already. I want to be like, hey, sorry guys, I'm doing some of the stuff I've done before. And if I don't acknowledge that, then I'm just, I'm not fully present. I'm just thinking somebody's heard this. You know, and then you judge the reaction. You're like, oh, that's 'cause they've heard it. I mean, there's two sides to this. One is people want to hear it. I mean, there was many, I mean, I haven't done the Hot Packets joke and I don't know. That's what I'm asking you to. But like the thing is, is like, I used to do it as an encore. And so I used to kind of view it as like, all right, this is the cleanup for, I mean, it's not the case any, it's no longer the case. But it used to be people would come and then there were kids like 12, 13 that would come and they'd want to hear Hot Packets, they'd want to hear Bacon, they'd want to hear the Manatee joke, they'd want to hear certain things. - The big three. - And so I used to do them as an encore, but like, I believe that there's an unspoken agreement that if you're coming back to a market, that it will all be new material and not just new, it has to be new and work well. And but you know, that's also what I love about touring is these people that like your standup, they see you evolve and go through chapters of your life. And you know, like there's been people coming to my shows that, you know, they were dating. And then they got married and then they had kids and now they're, you know, like their kids. I mean, I'm going to run into you in five years and I'm convinced you're going to be a father, you know, me of a dog. But, you know, you're going to be, you're going to be a dog daddy. I already am. Yeah. I don't want to, I, I want to be able to go on stage and do whatever I want to do. Yeah. And when would I feel like, like, let's say you're doing it, this is an issue for you, but like, let's say there's a comedian that does a lot of dirty stuff and they're asked to do a clean show. Yeah. Doing a clean show, I don't think is an obstacle. Maybe it is for some people. But like, if you're on stage and you want to talk about something that isn't clean and you can't, or you're not supposed to, yeah, you could do that. But then something has taken my, my why for doing this has been taken away there. And it's not about being dirty or not. It's just whatever thing might be. It could be not wanting to repeat material. It could be not wanting to have to, like, you're doing a show someplace and it's a sold out crowd and you're a guest on something and they're like, you're like, I want to kill. I want to do really well here. But like, I want to talk about this thing, this new thing. Yeah. I will, I almost always lean toward doing the thing I want to do. Yeah. And I think that that's been an obstacle for in my career as a stand-up comedian. I think there's a reason why I don't have a special yet. Because I, you know, there's, there's, there's, there's um, strategy in like doing well and, and, and, and fighting through stuff and, and, and being self-aware of how people are receiving you and stuff. But like, for me, for the, for like, the longevity of like, I love stand-up more now than ever. And I want to keep doing it. I think the rule that I have for myself, at least as I've now is do whatever you want to do. Yeah. Um, and I can't, I can't go to a market that I was just at if I, and people are seeing me and buying tickets for me. I also can't feel like who cares if the show's not good. So it's, it's weird. Yeah. I, I, I, that people, uh, phoning it in and it's, it's, or, or kind of like people showing up, uh, unprepared. Because for me, it's, it's less about burning a market and more about how it's like the whole notion of fan or whatever I think is weird. I think it's kind of like people that enjoy your comedy. They're entrusting you with their Saturday night or Thursday night. And you, it's, it's, it's not even about the money. It's like, look, this is my Thursday night. I'm bringing my friend who I told them about you going to a restaurant. You don't want the chef to just, you don't want to, you don't want to disappoint, uh, a friend. You know, I mean, anyway, I'm a great guy. Ha, you want to talk about, uh, some, some silly shit. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you should, uh, you know what, before I do that, I, I, I see some personal stuff about you about touring with Seinfeld. Sure. Um, I've become friends with Kevin Neelan. I love Kevin. Same. Yeah. And he's touring with, with Sandler. Oh, great. And they're both successful people that, uh, when you go to shows, there's a huge difference between the, like the, the connection that people have, or at least the amount of people have a connection to sand. And he, the way he talks about like what it's like and seeing the venues, do you feel something when you're on the road with Jerry, where it's different when you're not with him? And could you explain what that is? No, it is, first of all, there is, um, I mean, obviously Jerry has achieved success in so many different aspects. Really? Of the entertainment industry. I don't know if you're going to say comedians and cars in the B movie. I just think that that's piggybacking off of the show. The stand up Seinfeld. I don't know, you know, Seinfeld. I think that's the big thing. But I think comedians and cars was pretty damn easy cars. I don't not being hyperbolic when I say this is one of my favorite shows, including scripted shows, comedians and cars and shark tank, or the only two non scripted shows that are in my, in the, in a top list of mine. That's interesting. I love comedians and cars and coffee. It's podcasting and it's best form where it's just cut down to the start. It's good. Yeah. And he is, it's an editing masterpiece, right? And so, but so, but it wasn't a huge, I mean, it was, no, it was, it was pretty gigantic. Again, it's like things are moving so fast. I think we forget how, I think it won an Emmy. I mean, I, we forget how important it was. It was a great show. He also, he also does things and he stops before it gets stale. He intentionally goes, you know what, that's good enough. Like Steve Martin, you know what I mean? And so, he, but yeah, no, he is, he has this, it's, it's impossible to draw comparison to what comparison to like, you know, doing a show with, you know, because obviously I, I open for a lot of people and I would get a sense of, of their kind of, their audience vibe or stuff like that. Like I did a show with Sebastian Manescalco and that was, there was a, there was a different vibe than a signfold show or, you know, but I don't know. I mean, it's some of it's this arena show you felt like people really, these were people that were the type of people that were like, yeah, I'm going to go to the signfold show. I don't, I'm going to do that. Like they're true comedy fans, not, you know, they weren't, there wasn't like a cost prohibitive nature to it. There wasn't. I mean, Jerry has a very broad appeal, but it was, you got a sense, and this is the same with Sebastian. You got a sense that everyone's super successful in the audience. Sebastian, has that kind of crowd too? Oh, yeah, very high ticket price. He's coming on my podcast next week for the first time. Why would you do that? Because I'm just excited to have a month. No, that was me doing Sebastian. But that's fun. My, I found that my, the audience that comes to see me are, and I've, I've mentioned this on my podcast before, but it's a lot of socially awkward guys and just really hot women. There you go. That's interesting. Yeah. Mine kind of covers the gamut, but I would say that it is, there's a lot of, a lot of families generational stuff. So it might be a teenager and parents or parents and their parents. So it's, but it's, it's not, and some of them are having a good time, but like not out of control. What's that? What are the people that not having a good time? No, well, I'm saying it's, people are not berserk drunk. You know, like there's some comedians who go to their shows and you're like, what is going on here? Right. It's like, frat stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And, or they've, they've created a party atmosphere, which is great. And the audience wants that. But sometimes they, they're held captive by that, right? When you're as successful as Jerry is, then is it really a demographic that goes to CM, you know, I'm saying like, like I would be like saying, you know, there's a certain type of person that goes to an NBA game. No, it's so broad that there's so many different types of people. But there is maybe a certain type of person that goes to like the banana baseball league at this level, right? Right. Yeah. At a certain point, you're just, it's just wide enough. But Jerry still is, it's the vibe of success. I think is, or is ticket prices more expensive? I think it's ticket prices are up there. He's also somebody that from an age demographic covers a pretty large area. So like the kids that are getting into watching reruns of Seinfeld are into it. Yeah. And then there's people my age that the show was the biggest thing in the world that are into it. So yeah, I don't know. I would say that. And then there's just sheer comedy fans because he was before even the show, he was this guy who was kind of the king of late night, kind of like he and Jay Leno and stuff like that. Would be on Letterman of the Tonight Show. I saw him, my uncle does lighting for a lot of things and he does comedy specials for a lot of him. He's like dancing with the stars. He does like a lot of live things. And one of them was the Las Vegas Comedy Festival, which was before I ever did stand up. Oh wow. And I went to the HBO one. Maybe it was, it was in the early 2000s. Oh, I don't know if I, yeah, I think I probably went to that. There's a lot of people were there. I was on a show with a triumph. But yeah, but I bring that up because I got to see like, I remember I was in, this is again, before I did stand up, but I was in Soundcheck with Chris Rock at the Calliseum. And I remember who was talking about, I never thought about this before, but his, his mom or parents or somebody was coming and he was like talking about how I can't have them in the first eight rows or whatever. Because you didn't want to see them. And I was like, I remember thinking, why, oh, that makes sense. I never never thought about you wouldn't want to. to see somebody like that. Yeah. And I just thought it was so cool. And I got to see Jerry perform. Yeah. And I was blown, and I'd seen a fair amount of standup still. I was blown away. I'd never seen him live. I never seen any of his standup other than the show side film. Yeah. I've seen senior older sets, newer sets, specials and stuff. Yeah. But I was just blown away. And ever since then, still, I really, I am on, I am one of those people who thinks he's one of the greatest ever do. And it's very specific to him by design. But I also wonder as somebody who is a comedy nerd, but who's around him, and we get inspired and we think of things, is there anything that you've noticed that he's done, either that you have adopted, not joke-wise, but craft-wise, social-wise, and/or that you haven't put that you appreciate? Yeah. Could you think of anything? Absolutely. Oh, I mean, I think of things all the time. You know, I mean, you get some examples. Yeah. And one, I think that Jerry has an approach to standup and comedy that has kind of these absolutes, meaning, you know, there's, you know, like there's, you know, there's, like we know them as like no topic is off base, you know, or like you can't sense it. And, you know, any topic can be made funny. But he has more kind of significant ones that you curate, like you learn, there's jokes, how to write jokes and stuff like that. And you also learn what works for you and what are some absolutes. And so one, some of the absolutes are the, which Jerry really kind of believes in. And I'm probably going to get this wrong. But he's kind of like, it's all about the funny. That's the hardest thing. The hardest thing is to tell a joke. It's easy to get a pause. It's easy to get them to agree with you. It's harder to, to, to make them laugh. So like that's like one of the absolutes that you kind of intuitively know. Like if you're a comedian, you've seen a lot of comedians, you're like, gosh, the crowd loves this guy. You know what I mean, he's like the, the, the, the crude examples would be like, I support the troops. I'm against racism. Everyone applauds because everyone believes that, but that's not a joke. And so Jerry's kind of like, it's all about the joke and, and I believe in that premise. You know, he's also kind of, you know, the, the joke is never done and, and finding fulfillment in the process. The joke's never done is then you could keep honing it or, yes, keep tagging it. So you can keep tagging it. And that's where, you know, something that, you know, he and I have debated because, you know, like, as I said before, it's like, what's so great about, um, Jerry or Chris rocker or even Conan is they evolve, they're like water and they evolve to like, where, how things are going. Like one of the things that I believe that's evolved is that, in the seventies or eighties, you didn't need to be autobiographical. You, you know, you could just have jokes, but he was, he was, he was, he was, but like when Jerry was on the tonight show with Jerry, with Johnny Carson, his jokes were like, you ever open your car and you're, you're trunk and you look in there, you don't even know what you're looking for. You like, you expect to find an on off button, like those kind of jokes, but he's evolved where he's included autobiographical information about himself. He would probably disagree with this. But like, so the, the age that we live in here in the twenty twenties is so exhibitionist, so kind of, you know, social influencers kind of like, here's me putting on my makeup. That is, that's so the price of entry to, to, is you have to give some of yourself. Whereas I think that the, you know, the comedian of 1984 wouldn't have to talk about his goal. Now, he could, but like, there's, I mean, I also can nerd out. I believe that there's, there's different types of comedians and there's different attributes and you need to like, do I'm into total nerd you out? Maybe, maybe for a little, no, do it and then I might be like, okay, and, and the audience is probably going to be enjoying it when I, if I end up stopping it. But I'm just joking. I think there's, I think there's different types. There's, and Jerry disagrees with this, but I believe there's observational comedians. There's the clown. Like you've got a little bit of clown in you. There's, there's the preacher you're insulted by the clown thing. Clown is kind of silly and approachable. It's like Todd Glass has got some of that. And then there's the social satirist, but the preacher, you never seen me perform. I don't think I have. You haven't. I've seen you be very funny on this podcast. Thanks. You haven't seen me do stand up. So I do, I, I would, I, I, I guess I question why it is that you felt validated in defining? Well, that's me kind of, I probably should enough, but I think there's also, I, Jerry disagrees with you so much. But, but, but would you say that like when you see a comedian and you haven't seen that perform as a comedian, you kind of, kind of guess you could understand their energy. Yes. Right. I don't think you could assume their point of view. And I think that's very arrogant to you. Are you telling me that very arrogant to view? You come across as a sweet, you're not, you don't want someone else to feel bad. You want to play. I would guess that your stand up is not divisive. It's not kind of like, how about these people? It's, it's, I think it's, I mean, even some of your jokes, you know, are very kind of silly, almost kind of like, if it, if the joke doesn't land, I would imagine that you have the ability for the audience to, to enjoy with you the awkwardness of that moment. I, I don't mean, am I describing you right? No. No. First of all, I have yet to do a joke that doesn't land. You've never, you've never made a joke that hasn't worked. Well, because I don't make jokes, I make observations, I'm an observationalist, not a clown. You're an observationalist. You know what I am. Right, you have to have two of those, I'm an observationalist, I'm a clown, yes. Are you a social satirist? Are you a preacher? Like so, Chris Rock and Bill Burr are preachers, right? And there's different ways, kind of, you know, Sam Kenneson was a preacher, Bill Hicks was a preacher. Bill Hicks was an actual, no, Sam Kenneson was an actual preacher. Yeah. Dude, Sam Kenneson is a before my time. I'm 29. Yeah. And that he yelled a lot, people loved it, and then he died, and now people aren't looking at Sam Kenneson stuff anymore. I don't know. Do you feel like the kids need a learn a lot of them? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Would you play him in a documentary? Um, in a documentary, you mean, kind of, it's not in a movie, but more of a documentary where we just need some footage. Oh, you're not going to be in a movie. It's not, we don't need acting. Yeah, we just want to have some of these recognizable faces. Would you be able to play him in a graphic novel? You'd be good as, like, could you play me in a book? Could you play Robert Redford if it was a sign language audiobook, you know what I mean? But sometimes when people say a joke that is worth saying, but it doesn't make me laugh and I don't have anything to add to it, I find myself in a position where I think like, what do you want from me? Yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Robert, you just, you know, audio book, I get it, but like, what am I supposed to do there? Really? And this isn't a word you're talking about. Yeah. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to go, yeah, no, that is interesting, because that feels dishonest. Well, there is some of it. It's the honest ribbing, right? But I don't think what you said was stupid and not worth it. When I started stand up, like, the roasting thing was, I would imagine you're not a roast comic. Yeah. That tub of shit with a little fucking cock. Oh my God. I could do it, man. Is there anything sacred? I could do it. Nice beer. Would you get that? But you're not like that. You're not like that. Oh my gosh, see yet, no, you were all, you're silliness. You are silliness. And that's by the way, there's nothing wrong with any of that. Do you want to open for me on the road? No. No. But I imagine that I would like your audience. You know, a lot of comedy clubs almost every time and servers, they tell me how much they like my audience. Yeah. That's a great compliment, right? Yeah. I also think as far as comedy podcasts are concerned, if you look at comments on people's comedy podcasts, relatively speaking, this is just like Like, if this was your introduction to YouTube, you'd be like, wow, people on YouTube are nice. - Yeah. - It's like, oh, you haven't been on the other ones. - No, it's like when I, sometimes people will be like, how do you deal with hecklers in your shows? I'm like, people that come to my shows are not heckling. You're, I mean, like, they're not. - 'Cause you're a clown. - 'Cause I'm a clown. - What would you call yourself, a preacher? - Oh, well, I know. - No, I'm very much an observationalist, but I'm also, there's also self-deprecating. - I'm very self-deprecating. - Listen, I understand the levels of why you wouldn't want to do the hot pockets bit, I do. - Yeah. - Do you see the funny of not just doing the bit, but the fact that you're willing to do the bit? Is there a world where I could get you to do the hot pockets joke? I would love to see what it's like for you to do this big joke on the spot. - It seems like it's important to you, but I'm not gonna do it. - I'll give you $300 if you promise to give it back. - No, no. - But I think it's like, there's, you know, we're always, just go, hot pockets. - I can't. - I don't need you to go insert it. - My want for this is just because, like, I'm recognizing, oh, this is a big thing that you're like trying to separate yourself from. And I just think that's so interesting. It's so interesting what, and by the way, the hot pocket thing, I'm in the beneficiary of that, right? The fact that that had a moment, I don't know, 20 years ago. But the fact that I'm in the beneficiary of it is who knows what's the, you know, what the zeitgeist or what society embraces. - What are they all, how much are they all for you? - And not that much. - 200,000? - Yeah. - Really? - Yeah. - Is this really $125 to $150? - It is. - Yeah. - What about my numbers guessing? - I mean, it's pretty impressive. - Would you say I'm an observationalist? - I would say you're better at numbers guessing than stand up. - What am I supposed to say to that, Jim? Well, I do have some good numbers, jokes. Why was five afraid of six? - 'Cause seven, eight, nine. - No, I was five afraid of six. 'Cause seven, eight, nine. - That's why he would be, why six was afraid of seven? - Yeah, yeah. So why is five afraid of six? - 'Cause six, seven, eight. - Six, seven, eight. - Why was nine afraid of 10? - Because 10, 11, 12. - Why was 14 afraid of 15? - Because there was an elephant in the fridge. The horse's name was Friday. It's about you a little more. - Really? - Yeah. There's different, do you remember those jokes, like who are you talking to? I'm talking to this person over here. - Do you remember this? You demand eye contact, don't you? - I notice when people aren't present with me. - Because it, and I notice it, not because I'm noticing them, but because I'm then taken out. I could give you an example I think that you could connect with, or even you. You're talking to somebody and they're on their phone for a second. That's okay. I'm gonna wait, though, until you're not on your phone. Because I'm now out. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Hey, thank you. - I can appreciate, now I'm not gonna look at you. - You don't have to. And I don't think that by looking, I think that you could be present with somebody when you're looking away. - I think that the phone is really a problem. Not just for you, for our society. I think it's like-- - Do you have a bit on this? - I don't, but let's do one. I think, well, I think it's like a, you know, like I've kind of worked around the notion of the algorithm, how like the algorithm knows so much about us. But we never think about the algorithm. Like, feeding the algorithm the things you think it wants? - Yeah. I mean, we just are so caught, you know, the algorithm, we never acknowledge the algorithm for sending us some of those videos. - I think by clicking on it, by definition, is the acknowledgement of it. It's like if somebody were to give you a recommendation, keep recommending restaurants, and you end up going to those restaurants. - But do you ever say thanks? Do you ever take your phone out and go and think? - Yeah. - Just to yourself, thanks algorithm. - I've heard that I'm making these numbers up, but it's coming from like the thing that like chat, GPT, spends millions of dollars and so much energy, just dealing with people who say thanks, 'cause it has to respond with your welcome. Like it has to respond to. - Really? - And how much. - Did you make that up? - I don't know the number, but no, I didn't make that up. - But so they do have to. So there's people that are polite. - Yeah, I mean, yeah. - So it's, so that's. - And it takes, and it's a, it's a, it's a burden to technology. - Right. - You know, when I'm in a green room and a server comes in and asking, I want a thing, 'cause I typically, although maybe I'll start drinking if they carry father time, this is incredible. - Yeah. - But it's only available at fathertime.com. - Slash Tyson for 20% off. - No, it's father time hyphen. Father time, oh boy. - hyphen bourbon.com. Just Google it. - Ooh. - Yeah, right. - That's tough. - Yeah, that's, that's people are just gonna. But when they ask, do you want anything? And I don't, because the only thing I want is my water. I say, no, but can I get you anything? - That's funny. - And they, they never say yes. 'Cause they're working. - I want stuff when I'm working more than when I'm not. - Yeah. - But that's an interesting like developing responses to classic things that we encounter. - I have another one that, that I continue to do, and it rarely gets a laugh. And I just, it's one of my favorites, is when somebody drops off like door dash at my place, I don't open the door. I stop during COVID and I still don't. - Yeah. - I just look through the people. And I say, put it on the ground. No, no, no. But they, they, they put it on the ground. - Yeah. - And after the people, when I see them taking a picture of it, I go, do you want me to take one with you in it? And they always say, they don't always say, but more than not, it's, no, no, it's okay, it's okay. - Yeah, yeah. And I think it's such a funny thing to say. - Right. I like to say, when, if I'm out to eat and the waiter says, do you have any questions, I always like to say, why are you yelling? - Good. - Especially if they're not yelling. - Yeah, well, I can't imagine it happens too much. - They're never yelling. - Yeah, they're never yelling, but I'll be like, okay, you don't have to yell. - Do you have poop on your right shoe? - I don't know. Do you think that's poop? - I don't, I, I, I don't know. That looks like blood, honestly. You know when you kill someone, I mean, you've killed someone, right? - I mean, buddy, what are you saying right now? You're making this so casual. - I mean, we've all gotten into weird situations and you, you know, things go sideways. You got a dead body, right? And you have to get rid of it. And you're like, how would a dexter do this on the show? I got a sag voucher on that show. - You dead? - If you want to get into the Screen Actors Guild Union, one of the ways of doing it is getting three sag vouchers or your feature as a background actor and something. And I got one on there. - And so what episode is it? - I don't know. It was a security cam footage in a wine cellar and I was in there. I did a lot of background work when I first moved here. That's where I got my start. That's how I developed my chops. - First tier, meaning New York or LA? - Into the here being the business. - Los Angeles. - And so what was that like? - One of the things I did, I also did background work for like live studio audience stuff. And I did one for-- - We're meant there's back, oh, back ground stuff. You mean like-- - Not background, excuse me, it's the same thing. When you're doing background, you're basically getting paid to be someplace. - Yeah. - So like I was in the audience for deal or no deal. But that's still considered background. - Deal is that way where you're dealing. - How are you meant to-- - Yeah. - Is that where they opened the cases? - Megan Markle, wasn't she on that? - I believe it, but I didn't know that. - Yeah, she was on suits. - Yeah, no, she was on deal, no deal. She was-- - Cool. - One of those eye candy girls, which I thought was objectifying. - Right. - 'Cause I care about women. - You don't. - Do you feel it? - It's so weird, it's like before the podcast, so many racial slurs coming out of your mouth. And then once the podcast starts, you're like-- - You make a lot of dark jokes, man, about killing people and about people being racist. - Well, you know, I mean-- - I thought you don't like to divide people. - I don't, I don't, you know what I mean? - Would you prefer that instead of having beautiful women be the deal and no deal briefcase holders that it was ugly women? - Yeah, I would. - I think it would be really interesting. It would be like-- - Unfortunately, I could see how that's really funny. - Oh my God, that jackpot is $10 million, but that woman looks unhealthy. - I know that you don't watch "Deal the No Deal" with a $10 million jackpot. - Yeah, what does it get up to on? - You know, now there's a new one with Joe Magonello on an island that maybe it's higher, but where I was-- - Joe Magonello, the buff guy? - Yeah, he's kind of, he does deal or no deal? - He is the host of deal or no deal island or something. - Right. - Where it's like deal or no deal, but on an island. And it's like a, it's more of a reality show than it is an episodic. - Yeah, and the winner. of the island. So maybe that's 10 million. Oh, they evolved just like just like Jerry Seinfeld or Bill Burr. Right. Or Wanda Sykes. Wanda Sykes. Yeah, Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah, you know, yeah, I don't mind when you say Sarah, I know who's what's there here. Sarah. But when you say Wanda, I'm wondering if you're talking about that multi-cam marvel. I'm talking about Sarah from the Bible. And we're back. Now, we're back here. And I tell you, so let's talk a little bit. So what is, when's the last time you were angry? Angry and sad overlaps sometimes. And I don't know what you mean. Oh, I think that's very common among men. It's like, we don't know how to be sad. So we're angry. That's a, uh, that's a year generation Irish drinker thing. Yeah. I, I, I'm in touch. So you're saying you to people, right? Yeah. But I'm saying it to, I'm not saying. Okay. I'm saying it about. Okay. All right. Okay. To say that to when you're white to somebody who's white. Yeah. But I'm not white. A lot of African American literature. The bad guy was usually the paleist, blueride guy. When I started stand up, it was a lot of being this pale white guy thing. Now, but some of it is, I thought we were playing. But like, if you want to invalidate, I mean, this is why you were kicked out of ground links. Now, let's swipe to him getting kicked out of ground links. You know, like that could have messed someone up. What? Now, you know, getting banned by I think I get kicked out of stuff. You do. I get kicked out of stuff. I don't get kicked out of stuff for like smoke and cigarettes. I got kicked out of stuff for just like annoying people. And I got kicked out a lot of things. You're kind of like a Karen. No, you're not, no, you're not a Karen. But like, it doesn't, you seem so sweet and, uh, I've always been sweet. I just, I really get in trouble for things. I, I, I'm still not great at it, but I'm aware of my, of my blind sides here, of my blind spots with us where I, I have a difficult time reading the room. And what I've gotten good at is recognizing that I don't know, I, I don't know if what I'm, this is to, when I saw you guys at the comedy club the other day, uh, I even said to you, Hey, guys, I want to be doing jokes and bits and stuff. Yeah. Are we doing that? Are you guys having serious, um, being boring conversation? Yeah. I could ask people if it's okay. So I've gotten good at asking permission to be myself. No, that's interesting. And if I don't get permission, I don't, I know like, okay, well, I'm just not going to be here because I don't want to not be this. Right. Right. But before I knew how to ask permission, I didn't recognize that people weren't good at setting boundaries. Either they didn't know they wanted to. They didn't feel as worth doing it. It's easier to just be like, okay, and roll their eyes until this guy leaves. But like, I, I, I thought, like, I, I grew up thinking that I was the funniest and everybody loved me. Right. And I have a bit about this, but I talk about, I didn't realize I didn't have friends until recently. I just thought everybody was busy all the time. And like, nobody was, I wasn't bullied. I wasn't picked on. I just, I, I, nobody was inviting me places. And I didn't even realize that. So like, I would get, like, then when I was finally able to be in poker games or weekly basketball games or improv troops or whatever, it would be like, there's, it would at least be one or two people that like, all right, this guy's got to get on here. He just doesn't stop. I find that so interesting because that, that actually fits perfectly for the comedian thing because which feels a little bit like a cop-up, but like the whole getting in trouble for things, I also think that because I try to articulate this to my kids and some of people might be like, it's just a behavior problem. But like, because I, I, aren't, this might be my justification. I've always thought that because I'm goofy looking when the teacher turns around and someone's going to get in trouble, her eye or their, his eye would stop on the pale white kid and go, it was you. So like, I feel like I was interesting. You think that not because you've proven over time that you are a jokester, it's because they look around and everybody else has, has tan and, it's, it's not, it's not so much that it's just this belief that I will, if I do something wrong, I will get caught. So like, if I'm gossiping, you grew up Catholic, right? Yes, or some of it is the guilt for you. Now it's big brother. Yeah, but you know, like, and I did a joke of what's, now it's big brother. Yeah, it is. I mean, now they're scrolling through this. Like your editor works for them. He's not watching. He's not watching. But I, I've always kind of believed that and that's less of the feeling guilty about things and more of being self-aware. Self-aware, it's also, you know, one of those things where I've, I think a lot of things go my way, but I, it doesn't surprise me when things don't go my way. It doesn't surprise me when my flight is delayed four hours. So are you saying that it's, you're, you're, you don't get angry because I do get expectations. I do get angry, but I very much have an expectation that like, it's a joke with me and my manager. It's like, you're, you know, like, we'll, we'll, I'll be supposed to do something. And I'm like, I got to get out of it. And where like in the entertainment industry, typically people will understand that where, you know, like normally they're like, that's unfortunate. Whereas in one and a hundred missing a flight. I'm talking, no, I'm talking about like, if there is a situation where someone would threaten to sue someone, they would threaten to sue me as opposed to they wouldn't, you know, in a business arrangement. You're hot pocket money. No, not so much that, but getting out of a thing where like they be like, oh, you can't do that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't want to like bring the example. An example is like an example would be, you know, some of it is, it's, you know, say like two comedians are supposed to do a corporate event. And they both have to cancel so they can do something. Like so, for instance, when I got SNL to do Tim Walls, I had to cancel a bunch of shows because there was this commitment for the entire quarter until the club sued you. And there were, you know, I won't say who it was, but there were like two examples where normally they would be like, oh, that's amazing. You're doing SNL. That's unfortunate. Let us adjust. They were like, we're going to sue you. And I'm like, why? And my manager thought it was so funny. He's like, I don't know why they want to sue you. And I'm like, well, don't they understand that this is not me, you know, bailing on them. Like, well, it is one for a reason that I'm also into what this business is. It's also, like, bailing on an opportunity of a lifetime, right? Because of an opportunity of a lifetime. And he was like, I don't know why. How did you know that they were going to sue you if they didn't sue you? They didn't, they didn't bring it up. My manager and agent didn't bring it up to me until six months later. And they're like, look, these people, when you were doing SNL, you had to pull out of this corporate and they they they're going to sue you. There was another corporate, there was another corporate that I tried to pull out of them. They're like, no. And it was so short. I had to fly all the way to Hawaii from New York and fly back, you know, and so like, I had I missed the table read and I missed the Tuesday rehearsal. I the SNL week, you know, I was only in one sketch a week, but like, so you had two things that week and you canceled one of them and the other one you just did. Yeah, no, the other corporate was a different thing. But it was just one of those things were like, I think for most nine out of 10 other people in that situation, they'd be like, oh, that's unfortunate. Okay, will it just, but like in both of them, they were like, what did this mean? I don't know. It was about something about like, it was your expectations. I get caught because I get caught. Right. I get caught. And how it's not Catholic guilt. It's just also the belief that I think I, you know, and it is, it kind of keeps me on the straight and narrow and kind of like, okay, yeah. So like my, you know, I remember, you know, like, it's why I don't steal. It's like, it's just you're going to get caught. I have, I also subscribe to not necessarily, you're going to get caught, but you, you can. Yeah. So making decisions based on, are you okay getting caught doing this thing as kind of guided a big part of my moral compass? Really? Yes. Where it's like, am I doing this because I'm empathizing with another person? Or am I doing this because I, I guess what's the difference? I don't want them to find out and be hurt. But like stealing is a great example of that. I've stolen two things as a kid. The second thing I stole was this piece of sand art from a camp where you put sand in a bottle and then you put toothpicks in it and then it looks like zig-zag sand. Yeah. And I, and I was waiting to get picked. and I took that and I showed it to my mom and my grandma who picked me up from camp. And they go, "Wow, this is so good. "They were really proud of me. "I felt so bad." And then I admit it that I stole it. I stole three things. I remember something else I stole. I stole 50 out of my heart. I stole $50 from my dad on his nightstand 'cause I was saving up for a Game Boy and had all these coins and 50 bucks. And I asked my brother if he would help me count the coins. And then I said, and I had this to it. It was 50. Yeah, he goes, "Where'd you get that?" He said, "I took it from the dead "and then I give it back to dad." Yeah. But then I'm like, I didn't even have caught for those things and just the idea of like, I don't know. Well, see, for me, it sounds, that's not to say that I don't have guilt and stuff like that. I just exist in the reality of, I will in all likelihood get caught. So like. Like people who cheat, right? Yeah. Let me give you an example. That's less, I don't know if it's less, if it's worth it. I don't think this, let me give you a different example. People who drive drunk, there are people who then decide I'm not gonna drive drunk. And the reason they're gonna choose to not drive drunk is because they don't wanna get caught. Yeah. I don't think that is a sustainable model for not doing things. Because if you find a way to do it where you don't get caught, you'll do it. But not wanting to drive drunk because you could put yourself and other people of danger, that's the reason to not do it. For me, it's all about other people. Could you imagine living with the consequences of like, because you were drunk driving someone else? I, you know, I'm not even thinking of that. I'm thinking of like. You know, stealing money from a job or taking, you know, we have all these kids, so we have these babysitters come in. And sometimes they, you know, this is 20 years of this and sometimes we have these babysitters. You have just a gag with their babysitters. There was always babysitters. And the thing is, is like, some of them would steal stuff. And the reality is like, when they would be caught, I saw illustrated what I always thought, which was true. It's less about the thing that's stolen or the value of the thing that's stolen. It's the embarrassment they feel about being caught. This is what I'm saying. So don't do things that you don't want other people to, you know, I mean, of course you're gonna masturbate and you don't want everybody watching. I've never done that. Bullshit, dude. I've never, I've never, I've never, you've never come when you were just by yourself. I've never, ever had sex. Oh, okay, now you're just being silly. But like, even messages, like messages with people, like I assume that any message that somebody sends me on Instagram or if I send them a message, there is a chance that they're gonna screen grab this and put it somewhere at place. Yeah. I have this inherent lack of trust in people because I know that there's a chance. Like, was it, I think it was today, just now, right? Was it you who said you don't trust people? 'Cause like, the water, is that the air? 'Cause I said I rinsed my cup. Yeah. And it wasn't that I don't trust them as I think they're gonna put a finger in their butt and then touch the lid of the glass. It's just that I don't trust that their sense of what clean is is the same for better or worse. Absolutely, absolutely. And I've become a very skeptical, untrusting person, not untrusting as in somebody's intentions and their morals. But untrusting is like, I mean, I am drunk and this doesn't matter. I think that it's a slippery slope also because like, I think that people don't justify things. So like, people that have that we've caught taking stuff from us, it's like from their perspective, they're like, these people don't need this extra pair of shoes. But then they could say to you, Jim is a humbling thing, place them in at the moment. I'm struggling and I need a pair of shoes. And I was wondering if there's any way I could, you know, I could make an extra $4 an hour or you could help me out with this or something. That's a tough thing to ask. But if that's your truth, if you're willing to take the thing as long as you don't know about it, be willing to let you know about it. It's interesting because I think that's embarrassing also. And I think, not just in this, but this is like another I could do an hour on this. I think that embarrassment and discomfort have really bad PR and people are afraid of it because they haven't allowed themselves to experience it enough. And I think that's a big benefit of doing stand-up. Kobe, I don't paraphrasing this, but he said how important sport is not just to get to the NBA or the highest level. But even in grade school, to do stuff that really matters to you, because it might be low stakes to everybody else, but this matters to you right now and to lose and to be disappointed. And then to know, all right, I could now prepare myself a little bit better for the next time. I think. And that competent, then you start to. That is so common. That's one of the great lessons of stand-up is that the ability to absorb defeat and awkwardness is so key. And sometimes it's like you get comfortable on stage. And then when you have to start over, you have to, you need a new hour or trying a new joke and things failing. And you develop calluses where, I mean, some of these great basketball players, they like Michael Jordan missing final shots or maybe it was Kobe, people think he's the greatest, but he missed final shots in six games. But people don't talk about that except for me. But like the thing is, is that you have to develop calluses. That's where I think stand-ups, out of necessity, you have to try things. Out of necessity, you have to sit there. If that mindset in life of out of necessity, you have to try things and do things. I think the feeling of embarrassment isn't necessarily, you don't feel that embarrassment anymore, but you just, I was on my way to my show yesterday. And I wanted to leave now so I could get there. I like, I want to watch the people that go before me. And I ended up getting there 15 minutes late because I'm my way out the door. I had this bowl of bean soup that I wanted to put in my fridge so I could have it when I got home. And it spilt it in the way that you do if you were filming it for a multi-cam. You know what I'm saying? Bouncing off everything and going all over. On me and this. And my immediate reaction was about to be, just cortisol running through my body. And I out loud, I said, Rick, this is fine. This is fine. You've done this stuff before. It's going to be fine in 15 minutes. And it truly, I'm still pissed, not pissed. I'm still disappointed. I'm still, but like chemically, it didn't do this because I've done stuff before that made me go late or that I had to spit, I spilled something. All I'm saying is, in life, we, you know, you don't want to say I'm going to spill the soup. I'd rather just not spill the soup. Right. But like do things that embarrass you and you find out, oh, I'm going to be fine in 15 minutes and you're not afraid of being embarrassed. I think that I've actually gotten such a kick out of that that I've had to learn like, oh, not everybody wants to play this game. I like looking for situations not to make other people uncomfortable, but to play scenes that you get to live, imagine if this is where we lived. Does that make sense? Absolutely. I really think I'm drunk. And some of it as well, you might be. This stuff's incredible. Father time slash bourbon dot, it's dash. I don't think there's a difference. I think slash is that that's a forward slash, backward slash. Dash. What's a slash without a forward or backward? That is slash goes like that. Dash goes like. So dash and high fash is short hyphen hyphen? Yeah, hyphen is that too. That I know. I think it's hyphen then. So it's F-A-T-H-E-R-T-I-M-E-H. Why? How do you spell hyphen? You don't spell. Do you know how to spell hyphen? I think it's H-Y-P-H-E-N. Are you a good speller? I'm not a good speller. I was like somebody that had to work really hard to get bees. How do you even know how to spell that? I think writing stand-up has helped my spelling enormously. Because I'll write on the computer and then I'll be like, all right, what does that say? You think if you were coming watch me perform an hour, if I hired you of course, I'm not saying do you want to do this. I'm saying in this hypothetical words, would you be able to look at it and use your writer's mind, who has, you have a different mind than me, and be able to be like, hey Rick, and give notes in ways that you think would benefit me? I think possibly, but I also think that most advice that comedians give each other, and I'm sure people of giving your lives and you're like, "Yeah, I thought of that." And I tried that and it didn't work. Like sometimes it's also affected by your point of view. Like, I don't know your point of view or maybe even the whole-- - I'm just a clown, dude. - Perspect, maybe you are a clown. - Yeah, I mean. - I absolutely am. And there's nothing wrong with that because the thing is, is people love that. People love clowns is something that I think has changed a lot. - But you know, the thing is, is the notion, the disservice of when I say clown is because there's this dark association, which is the opposite of what, the use of clown I'm trying to use. - I think a clown is like being like, I was a class clown and I just was like, you're a clown, you're a goofy, playful boy or girl. - It's like robin' Williams with clowns. - It's all between, you know, Mark Cohen, I don't know if you know him. He's very much-- - Mr. Collins is Cohen's kid? - No, he's Mark Cohen. He's a great comedian. He's, you'll see him at the salary in Las Vegas. He works a lot there. - But I'm trying to think of who else-- - Brad Garrett works in Las Vegas a lot, too. - Brad Garrett is, you know, then there's the crowd work guy. - Do you know Brad? - I don't know him well. - I worked with him for a year on a show. - It seems like a very sweet sincere guy. - Very sweet guy. I didn't know, I mean, I've seen him be funny. I didn't know it was at the level that he is in person. Like, he made me break so much. He's like a very, very funny guy. - He's very funny. - But yeah, I think it is mostly crowd work to stand up stuff. - But he is also, so when I started, he was, you know, very, I think he started opening for, I mean, they're a great crowd work comedians. Like, by the way, I don't know if you've ever seen Ian Bag. I think he's one of the best crowd work comedians. And that's where I think it's almost kind of, it's so standard like people probably watching this. They're like, don't all comedians do crowd work? They all can, but there are people that are exceptionally good at it. And that's where like, that's where improv meets stand up the most. Brad and Ian, and I think in both of them, they have this presence where it's kind of reminds me of the whole notion of these people that take martial arts so that they don't get in fights. Like Brad and Ian have an intimidating presence. They don't abuse it, but they're like, they're, you know, it doesn't turn into a source of conflict with the audience because they have that presence. Anyways, are you a good fighter? Are you a good fighter? No, you don't have to answer that yet. Yeah, we'll be right back. I, that's what I want. We'll be right back. What's your favorite TV show? You don't watch TV at all. I love TV. Yeah, what do you watch? Right now I'm rewatching West Wing. Okay. I rewatch Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, and Sopranos and Sex in the City. Once a year. Sopranos, you say Sopranos like my son does. Should I say Sopranos? Sopranos, yeah. What does he have a deep voice? No, he just says Sopranos and I'm like, what's that from? But it's, there's different ways to say it. When you write, my kids say aunt. I don't like aunt. I don't like anything. Do they have a lot of like friends? No, no, it's a Northeastern thing too. Aunt. Do you say Aunt? I say Aunt, do they, when they shower, do they use a washcloth with further soap? I don't know, I don't know. Probably my son probably doesn't. He probably is. It's hard to get your son to shower. You kept talking to me about your son being naked. That was a different, no, I didn't. You kept talking about your son and his (beep) and you've tried to show me because of your son's (beep) or you can make it just weird. Like it's like, like I'm all over it. Do you have a kid that's 18 yet? Yeah. I'm talking about his. Ugh. It's still inappropriate, inappropriate or inappropriate. Would you prefer me not talk about it? Yeah. All right. Yeah, 'cause it's just like, I mean, my kids don't even like it if I post a photo of them. You know, a lot of people think that the term cocktail comes from. Yeah. The term chicken cock, which back until the late 1800s, there was no word rooster. It was just chicken cock and, you know, suck my cock. And that's where it comes from. A lot of these stories are made up. Like a lot of, like a lot of stories about bourbon are like just made up. A lot of times you're like, oh, you drink a little bit of bourbon, the story's gonna be a lot better. And then when you finish it, you won't even remember the story. And if you think that's funny, you should go to gymgaffigan.com, hyphen comedy. And check out Jim's YouTube. They know what they're doing. Okay. Dude, what if you, what if like this launched you and you were like, and then you find yourself in like an AA meeting? You're like, I didn't really drink, but I was. It is. The podcast I had gymgaffigan on and he gave me his bourbon, father time, and now I'm on the street, you know. What made you want to make this price point what it is? Is it because you were looking for a, what is it called? A luxury brand? And if so, was that engineered that way too? Hey, you know what? Here's my budget. Let's do the nicer barrels. No, I wanted it. I wanted it to be, it's better if it was, obviously it's better if it's less expensive, but it is also, I wanted it to be of a certain quality. So if you want it to be of a certain quality, you know, there are costs involved. And again, it's not like there's like 80,000 bottles of it. So it's like, we're doing small, how many batches do we have? And they're all hands like this is our fourth batch. This is fourth and long. So there's been one about every kid. And so you're going to have one more batch. One more batch. And then you're done. Kind of like side fellow comedians and cars. No, no, I don't know. I mean, some of it is I find it rewarding doing this. And you know, as I learn, I kind of adjust what I want to do, but like improving. But yeah, it is, it is expensive. And some of it is, I never wanted to, I didn't go into it to make money, but I certainly didn't go into it to lose money. So it's like, you know what I mean, bro, bro, whoa, whoa, whoa. Bro, you know what I mean? I didn't get into it. I just got out of a nice bath. Do you do an ice bath? Right now. I mean, it was a mental ice bath. If you could just do a mental ice bath, if you could control your mind, like, I think the movie solves what I was just going to call it. I was in an ice bath. Yeah. If you could control your mind, like in the movie "Salt" or whatever the movie is where she could use a lot of her brain, it's not salt. That's, it's the other one with scarlet your hands in. Whatever it is. And like you could like do whatever, like you could use your mind to have them retables and do what you wanted to do and you could release the hormones. Joe, Joe, is that the movie? I don't think so. Yeah. Avengers? Nope. And you could do that and you could just like have your body change the inflammation state. Right. Do you think that like, wow, what do I really feel different having drank that? Well, don't have anymore. That's all you need. Just a little bit about. Absolutely. I drink. Right. So do you travel with edibles? I guess you can, right? But you, 'cause you do it three days a week. I don't have a, I don't like Monday, Friday, Sunday. Right. I just, on average, I'll go weeks without doing it. I'll know. That's why you usually do it with friends. But you won't drive, right? I don't get, yeah, I don't, like I take a lot of times like you two and a half milligrams. So I guess you could call it microdose or slightly above. Yeah. So I get high and then sometimes I just have a little bit. Yeah. I don't get high that often. Right. I have been doing it more often on the road for the late shows. Oh, really? Yeah, I'll get stoned for the second show a lot of the time. Like more than half the time this run for the second show. That's so interesting. And it's a, and I feel like, I used to feel like, 'cause I love it, man. And so does it change the show? Yeah, probably. It's probably a, it's probably a, it's the way I pitch things like if you're trying to figure out what show to come to, if you want to see the material I'm working on, come to the first show. If you want to see me play with the material I'm working on, come to the second show. And who opens for you? Or do you just do the whole show? So at the moment, and I feel that opens for you as a derogatory term sometimes. So I want to just take your question and phrase it differently. What's wrong with the opens for you? I think it defines somebody as an opener, as opposed to somebody who has the time and want to, like I'll go on stage, I would go on stage before anybody. Yeah. Some people I know, oh, the hierarchy of it. Yeah, they don't like it. And I'm like out of respect for not knowing how people feel or receive things. I'll just say he's a friend of mine, his name's Michael Linochi and he's very funny. And he comes on the road with me and he's been going up before me. I don't have a host. But you do make him carry your bags. No, however he does carry my merch. He does. I never sold merch on the road. Yeah, so what kind of merch do you have? Let me get this out to first. And I don't really, like I'm not a big enough community to like take people with me and stuff. Yeah. But Michael suggested, hey, if you sell merch, it could cover the cost because you have to pay for all of his stuff. He goes, I'll help with that. So I'm like, if you want to come on the road, And sell the merch in exchange for me being able to fly you and put you up. That would be great So really my merch is just to kind of mitigate those costs. I feel like I get embarrassed selling merch No, I know you mean I sell posters and and I it used to be babysitting money and now it's kind of to pay for dinner afterwards But I think also people like to and then because I'll take the my tour manager and the the opening act My friend who's probably a valuable comedian not just huge least who is total headline or title Alexandra You know, I mean oh mr. Mr. This is Alexander's kid what time mr. Mrs. Alexander's kid. Yeah, yeah, mr. Mrs. Alan Xanderos kid They I haven't seen you not like something. I've said more than that When I'm like well, what do I say to that you know, yeah, mr. Mrs. Kelly is it is there is something When people like people don't understand why was an audience hostile when they When they're hot if they don't understand something and They you know, I think when people don't understand something sometimes the instinct is like are you saying I'm dumb? I understand but when they're when we're all in on that joke, it's good Yeah, that's it. That's that's a that's a very good observation that I made very I took me a long time to recognize that like sometimes somebody Well think I'm fucking with them when I think I'm playing with them just because because we're not aligned not intention Yes, and it's a big part. I am my show last night I was doing something with somebody and he looked away for a second. I don't know But I said I think I might be bullying you and I had no idea and I just want to say I'm so No, bitch. Will's the man man are this? You know what I'm reading now I wanted to play with you and I'm reading something I think I might be bullying you and That was not that it's not that my intention is what's important. I didn't know I was doing that. You're the man And I was playing around and I am genuinely sorry Because you don't want your objective is not to make someone feel bad course not See that's operational cost Well, it's not something I think that I think you know like some of it is I Remember when I was really like when I was growing up I was really into I enjoy watching David Letterman and Bill Murray and and both of those guys I felt imperfectly but often communicated They would give someone Shit, but they would be in on the joke the person they were giving shit to yes Yeah, so like even Letterman was interviewing someone and if he was kind of harassing them it was in a way where they were aware they knew that it wasn't malicious and There was going to be no consequences of that and I think Bill Murray kind of is a master at that and so That's a very important distinction For someone being in on the joke, but if they're not in on the joke You know like some people don't care, but I imagine that you're like me You're like you don't want that guy to feel bad. You'd rather stop the show in a apologize There's a difference between somebody not being in on the joke and then not enjoying it the way they could had I'd done this better. Yes, I'm okay with that. It's part of I'm just I'm trying to find some stuff when when the Understanding leads to me not being funny. I could handle it when the misunderstanding leads somebody else feeling Especially like in an audience like put out made fun of put down That is like I'll cry if I find out that I did that. That's because you're a baby. It's because they're they're you're a cry baby. I sometimes cry Not like my eyes start to water and tears could go down my face when somebody will say something to me And I love that if somebody says this to me like hey, why did you say that or that hurt? Like I don't like that you said that or please don't say that I'll One because I'm sorry that I have set you and I also think that there's something that they know that those aren't tears of joy The tears aren't aren't meant for anything. It's a response, you know before the Podcast started you're like I make I like pretending to cry I love all of these these hypotheticals that you're making up But I want to say something that's a real thing. Yeah, which is I think I I also I get emotional because not just that I found out that I upset somebody but like It's a reminder sometimes of me like wow. I read I had no idea. Yeah, and and That's why I think it's so important for people to say like I didn't like that That embarrassed me that I feel embarrassed whatever it might be So you could then calibrate not only in your relationship with that person But just as a performer and is the craft of understanding how people receive you I've I've always You know, this is something I've done my entire life is like As I get to know someone I'll do an impression of them constantly You know, like I don't have an impression of you But like I would see this guy and I'd be like hey, how you doing? How's it going? And then uh and I'd done it for like six years This is like 20 years ago and at one point he goes you know that really hurts my feelings and I was like oh my god I was so horrified. I was like I thought you loved it and he goes no It really makes me uncomfortable great to know and I was like I am so sorry. I'm so sorry I thought that like it was like Because he was a New Yorker guy and I was kind of doing a New Yorker and I love New Yorkers And I love a voice and he was like he was like that that makes me uncomfortable it feels and I was like Oh my gosh, and I felt so bad so the idea of like people not wanting to say stuff because that's embarrassing people He might have felt that he could have told you that Years before but he felt like it wasn't worth it because he'd be embarrassed to tell you I think but he I think he he He could say it because he probably knew Or discerned that that was not my intention right and so but on a separate note. I do think that um Also if you're if you're listening. Sorry. We have to wrap this up in a minute. We'll be in a second But give us like two minutes. Yeah. We'll be right back. No, but the uh Have you ever told the joke With the intention of getting to like you do a setup And there's more to the setup, but like this setup could be construed as misogyny and people Embrace the massage that you're like no, no, no, I'm not going there. Do you know what I'm talking about Where the intention of your joke the audience? Well, that's why you have to include them first I mean the craft. I mean you do it now to give away punchlines But you do it in the how women have a more sophisticated palette. Yes with whiskey like you're you even I even noticed you gave an extra half a beat to give them the opportunity oh yeah to do this and by the way I love I love seeing these things yes because I'm seeing I think in seeing that I'm not only seeing You allowing people to to come with you someplace. I'm also seeing the person you With the foresight to do this thing somebody who has learned that he has to do this thing or wants to do this Yes, and I'm seeing such intention in the performer. Yeah, and I just I guess that's like nerding out about that stuff But like I like seeing the person not just what they're doing But like how they're doing it and like that's something I'm seeing. Oh this person's this person's been doing comedy for a while You earn the permission you earn the permission to It's it's manipulating. It's it's not the bad way not the bad way Manipulating is letting them indulge in the applause the but like but but that's not the only reason that's funny It's the only reason that that joke about women and whiskey is is funny if it is funny There's me with my false humility If it is funny is because I have given The I've identified the credentials. I've said obviously men and women enjoy whiskey You know, and there have been brilliant women that have been master distillers or blunders If I hadn't said that and I just went to the joke It would appear pretty Maybe maybe I still think because it's such a strong punchline. Yeah, it wouldn't But I get what you're saying and win and doubt put your turning signal on me Tell you something that I think that you'd appreciate one of my big beliefs is I also believe and you Again, it's stylistically. I think you'd appreciate it What people don't understand or maybe they do understand this. I don't want to it's not some brilliant insight is that Comedy very much has an aftertaste. So we all have friends that are kind of That are gossip and or maybe kind of a shit on people and we might and it might be funny But like there is like how you feel afterwards you're like you feel a little bit guilty And so like there are comedians that can kill but if the if the aftertaste of it is negativity If you're not kind of like bringing some form of light that the consequences is people aren't going to have a positive association with that. And so that's where like, you know, clown or people that are bringing light, that's really what people are looking for. And so when people kind of come to a show, they want to leave feeling good. They don't want to feel like they've been lectured too. But some people do want to, you know, hear someone tear someone apart. Hey man, at the end of the day, you don't speak bad about other people because then you're speaking bad about yourself. Right? Eleanor Roosevelt. I think it was, it's so weird, you know, that, you know, she, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. You know, everyone has no. You know, Maya Angelou once said, I know why the cage bird sings. I was going to say, do you guys want to get something to eat? She also said that. Nobody quotes her on it. And of course, Abraham Lincoln, he said, for a score, uh, any bitches here. What do you want me to do with that? That's Jim Gaffigan from takeyourshoesoff.com slash high for your right back. Jim, uh, I think it's fun, such a, that we've become friends. I'm going to call us that. Yeah. And I've been a fan of yours for a really long time and I was psyched that you wanted to do this podcast. It kind of goes. And Neil and then Jim Gaffigan, you know, I mean, Kevin Neelan, I always appreciated his work. Yeah. Um, I didn't know how funny he was until I met him. Oh, he's so funny. He's, he's, it's, it's just, he's so funny. It's so sharp. I mean, I remember a Kevin Neelan joke. He did this. I think during, during the Clinton administration, he goes, you know, uh, Bill, yeah, he goes, you know, there's, um, there's trouble in the, uh, the Balkans. You know, it's like, uh, people are, and all I can think it's like, you know, I've never been to Europe. You know, I mean, like, it's like, I'm doing it. I don't remember things. I'm stupid. I, well, there was like a war in, you know, the former Yugoslav and, oh, he's saying, but he turned it on, he turned it to, geez, I'd love to go to Europe. Yeah. So it was just a deadpan and kind of, you know, there's an innocence to it that was so funny. He also does something that I is one of my favorite forms of delivery of things where even he, he treats, he treats jokes that otherwise don't need to be throwaways as throwaways. Yeah. And I think there might be a defense in that and knowing that I don't need to wait for anything. It's, it's family guy. It's just, you're just throwing stuff out. And if you see it great and if you don't, it doesn't stop the momentum. And I think he's brilliant. Well, he kind of embodies that American thing that, of unaware of the joke being funny. You know, like Mark Twain has this, how to tell a story thing that the Americans very much are unaware of the punchline, whereas the Europeans are all- Oh, you're saying in delivery. They're not actually on the way. Yeah. You're just saying, right? Yeah, that makes sense. It's the delivery of being unaware. So Kevin's very much like that. I guess you could say that they're just horsey and around. They are just horsey and around. That's Jim Gaffigan from the hot pockets thing. Why don't you tell him who's going to be tomorrow on the show tomorrow? I feel like this is a little bit of a morning show. Well, we have Bill Bellamy coming up. Bill Bellamy and Sebastian Minascalco. And we also have some good ideas for some Thanksgiving treats. And I believe that we've also got some information on what you can do with some of those leftovers. It's good. That's good. It's funny here to do it for real instead of to say something silly. Yeah. Yeah. It depends. It's different situation. I think if you like and see what you could do with the leftover toilet paper rolls. Yeah. You know, like do you have specific things you could do? Could you tap into that? Do you know John Rittenitsky? I don't know. I'm so bad at names. Maybe I don't know. He's so funny. He's able to do that thing where he'd be like, that's really what it is. Yeah. Could you do it? Or is that the best you got? I do think the whole morning show, there's such a skill set there that it's fascinating. But. Do you want to do a morning show with me? This segues that they have to accomplish as comedians. We can appreciate the segues, but like the today show, they have to shift from devastating hurricane to how to decorate Halloween cookies in the same three minutes. And that's, and they have to do it with a certain amount of charm. Well, man, keep doing what you're doing in one day and we'll be right back. And remember, it is, I believe the set is called live from Old Forster, the bourbon set. We are going to be having the link in the description. When we mention it the first time, there will be a thumbnail that comes up that should show what it is with the title. People are going to find it. And if you don't like bourbon, I think more of the reason to watch this show because I never used to drink. I had a family. I was happy. Then I found out about this father time. I mean, not only is it more expensive than I wanted to be, it's so smooth that I've become a bit of a drinker myself. A terrific holiday gift. It is a good gift. And buy it now because they are limited edition. They are hand selected and it is ready for consumption. And it would look good on the family bar. By the way, in Cleveland, did you have a family bar or no? Your dad sold carpeting. We had a cupboard that had a whole bunch of alcohol in it and on the door was the ice bucket that was like floating. And I used to love sitting on the ground and never open them. But I would pretend that I was pouring in making mixtures like I was making magic potions and stuff and use one of those long spoons. Oh yeah. Yeah. Not many drinkers in our house. My dad's high. My dad's a pot guy. Yeah. Was he smoking when you were a kid? I didn't know. He was. Yeah. Once my brother's friend found pot in his car and my dad told me that that was a regano. And I believed him. And then later on, because my brother's friend told me no, it's not. He said, I didn't want to let you know. But he blamed it on his chef. It's the chef at the restaurant's weed. Oh, so your dad has a restaurant. When I was growing up, he had restaurants. Oh, wow. And then he got in the flooring business. But at the end of the day, I didn't know this. But my dad smoked pot every single day since, I mean, he was in college. He's just a big pan. And your mom, she got into drinking later in life and she has a drink. I drink. So shall I have one and done? She'll have one and she'll let you know. She's like me with it. I'm like, I'm drunk. Yeah. No, that isn't interesting. Yeah. All right. Go to gymgappingen.com/wiskey to find out their special. My name's Rick Glassman. And I'm Jim Gaffigan. And as we like to say at the end of every episode, we love you and have a good night. Be kind to yourself. Theme music. [MUSIC PLAYING]