姐妹悄悄話EP169  原來我不懂聽？！listen to learn and not to respond

(upbeat music) (speaking in foreign language) , sometimes listening. - Listen to learn and not to respond. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - You have to listen to learn and not to respond. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - I have to learn to be a better listener. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - We're not good listeners. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - You're not listening. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) . (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) - What, how else can you communicate to her? (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) You're tired and they don't want you to help. I'm telling you, I have a friend who wants to look for you. They want you to listen. I have some questions. I hope you can... Don't talk anymore. I'll talk more often. I know. I know. I'll deal with it. Start to talk. You want to talk about Gu Jia? Tell them what you're talking about. I'm looking for someone to help me. We're family. Family is good sometimes. But family is tired. They're tired. I've been thinking about it. Many times, these relationships can be taken away. But why do we think we need to help? Some people don't need to help. Many people are more and more busy. We don't need to. For Gu Jia's personality, if she doesn't listen to you, she'll say, "Look at her!" "I'm going to kill you!" "I'm going to kill you!" "Look at her!" She won't say thank you to me. She didn't ask you to help. You're the one who did it. You also asked her to say thank you. Are you too biased? Yes, I'm biased. It's a lot of pressure. I think it's natural. You like it. But it's a lot of pressure. But it seems like you like to help. You're like Gu Jia's mother-in-law. So I've shared with you many years ago. My sister and I haven't talked about it for two years. Because Gu Jia's mother-in-law said, "Why are you pregnant?" "It's just a matter of time." At that time, I was seven and a half years old. I went back and said, "I'm going to help them!" "They're still calling me!" "They're still calling me!" "It's just a matter of time." "They're still calling me!" "They're still calling me!" "Don't call them! They're still calling me!" That's the essence of emotions. You think it's a kind judgment. You think it's because she's pregnant. "Why isn't she pregnant?" "I'll buy you a miracle." "First, you've offended her a few times." "First, how is it?" "I can't afford to buy a miracle." "Second, I'm pregnant." "What if I like to walk?" "You take care of me." "It's just a matter of time." "It's just a matter of time." "It's not like I'm asking you to take your clothes and wash them." "I'm going to wash them myself." So this is the misunderstanding caused by everyone. You're wrong. You think you're kind. But in fact, people think you're annoying. "Maybe they think it's a kind package." "We've wasted two years." "You love to control." "This is a kind package." "We've wasted two years." "How can I open it? I forgot." "Is she pregnant?" "You just want to hug her." "I'll take her to the U.S." "Then I'll go to see her." "We've never talked about this." "It's been two years." "It's been almost two years." "It's been so short of life." "We've wasted two years." "It's been so long." "But it's not two years." "If you don't talk, it's a problem." "The problem is that you've been married for two years." "You're like, "What are you doing?" "I have a good intention." "I'm not saying it's a good intention." "But people don't need your good intention." "For example, our good intention may be that we think it's a good intention." "People don't think it's a good intention." "Your intention will be reduced to a low level." "Huo Qin Si said," "You keep the anger and pridefulness of your intention." "In your mouth, you say," "I'm not teaching other people," "but your inner thought is not fair." "It's not harmonious." "That's right." "That's right." "So it's hard for you to use compassion and peace" "to look at this world." "So if you can't bear to criticise other people" "there are some simple intentions to practice." "We need to learn from them." "Five seconds to stop." "I practiced this yesterday." "But..." "Five seconds." "No, five seconds to stop." "I told myself," "don't be angry." "Don't be angry." "I told you," "so my therapist told me," "the real let-go" "is really a practice." "You can't suppress it." "Because you think you forgot about it." "You just sleep for a while and forget about it." "You'll still suppress it the next day." "You need to really let-go." "You're not like that at all." "You're like that." "You need to let-go." "You need to let-go." "I did something yesterday." "Five seconds." "Let-go." "Let-go." "Let-go." "Let-go." "Because I slept for ten seconds." "I woke up early." "I woke up early and forgot about it." "I woke up." "I told myself," "you thought about it yesterday." "Yes, I thought about it." "You didn't forget about it the next day." "So you need to practice." "It's not easy." "We need to talk to everyone." "Five seconds to stop." "It's not five seconds for everyone. You need five hours." "Five seconds later, I didn't really let-go." "I still put it in my mind." "How can you let-go?" "So I need to go to class 12." "I'll tell you." "You don't need to pay for it." "I'll tell you." "I learned the essence." "Five seconds is not enough." "Five seconds can be changed." "For example," "you need to wake up." "I want to tell myself," "Five seconds." "Five seconds later, I'll tell you." "Don't let me get angry." "But it's hard." "Because I have a deeper problem." "I have emotional distortion." "For example," "this person is wrong." "It's different from what you think." "I can't let-go." "I still think," "this is the right thing for me." "Am I not good enough?" "Or what?" "I can tell myself." "It's even scarier." "So some people say it's hard." "So I need to spend a lot of time." "I don't love to reflect." "Because my psychologist is very good." "He said," "Melody, it's good that you are aware." "He encouraged me." "So at least you have the intention," "you have this kind of image." "And then you make yourself very tired." "So we have to make all your life," "the relationship become more," "you know, more complicated." "So look at what we're discussing now." "I'll still follow it." "He's still discussing it." "But I can," "don't take him home." "At the beginning," "I'll still take him home with Fei Chuan." "After that, I'll slowly," "you have to divorce him." "First, this person," "he won't change." "If he doesn't change," "we'll always..." "It's hard for us to change others." "We'll always repeat his problem." "It doesn't make any sense," "because we think he has a problem," "he thinks he has no problem." "So we can only" "move on." "You can solve it or accept it." "If you can't solve it," "you have to think of a way," "in the current situation," "to accept it." "Right?" "Then why do you keep asking?" "He, he, he," "why can't you ask him," "he can't tell?" "Because he's such a person," "he doesn't think," "he's different from us." "Right." "So we don't have to worry" "after we get it." "We don't need to help him." "You can't change." "Right, we don't need to help him." "Because we're giving" "ourself an excuse," "to lower our emotions," "and accept let go." "This is fake let go." "Because you're giving someone" "to find an excuse," "and you don't really let go." "Because you're giving him an excuse," "as long as his next job," "and the reason why you're giving him" "an excuse," "is not appropriate," "you have to be angry again." "So the real let go," "is to tell yourself," "it's fine." "He's just a person," "that's different from us." "So that doesn't make any sense." "Because we just talked about" "意識轉向," "five seconds stop," "is a person," "who hasn't finished his job," "that is, we want to avoid others," "and don't work hard," "when it's not good enough," "you have to tell yourself," "his current state," "is in his development." "Right." "It's like he's done it in the past." "So I have to honor others." "We have to remember," "we have to honor others." "One finger points at others," "and you have to point at yourself," "that's what Yuling taught me." "You have to point at others," "and you have to point at yourself," "who doesn't have a process like this?" "So if you can think like this," "it might be," "but it's not like you have to point at others." "That's what I think." "I'm doing all my studies," "not to point at others," "but to point at others." "Yes, you have to point at yourself," "so you have to point at others," "and you have to point at yourself," "and you have to point at yourself," "and you have to point at yourself," "and you have to point at yourself," "and you have to point at yourself." "You have to be careful," "because you have to lower your emotions," "because if you're a bit angry," "that's what you have to point at." "You have to point at yourself," "and you have to point at yourself," "and you have to point at yourself," "and you have to point at yourself," I really don't understand. You don't have to point at others. I have to be more patient. Listen to learn, not to respond. You don't have to point at others. You don't have to point at others. You don't have to point at others. You don't have to point at others. You don't have to point at others. You don't have to point at others. You don't have to point at others. You don't have to point at others.