JFK’s Piece was a Security Threat | History Hyenas

Guys, today we're gonna have a really good time talking about JFK's mistresses, comparing them to Bill Clinton's mistresses, one like to shop high class, the other one well, whatever you can find. It's what it is. It's going to be great. There's going to be a lot of talk about a lot of things we didn't know about. And I mean, one of the stories of his mistresses is absolutely wild and was 1,000% swept under the rug by our own government. If you want to see me, I'll be February 6th. I'm Las Vegas at the MGM, David Copperfield Theatre. He has been making my tickets disappear. I am in February 7th. I'm in Morris Plains, New Jersey. And then February 20th and 21st, you can catch me in Bakersfield, California, yannispappascomedy.com for tickets. Most importantly, guys, we're doing a new series over on Patreon, our channel with our community called Leaky, where we're going to be finding, periodically finding the craziest people from history and having a good time with them. Because being crazy sometimes is fun. It's fun and it's all over at patreon.com/historyhihinas. Now get ready to get your head blown off. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of history. Hihinas, I'm Chris Stefano, aka, Chrissy Colossami Banks. With me, as always, it's yannispappas, aka, yanni the hottie. Yeah, you got a new nickname now. You've had a bunch in the past, but what we are going to call you now is Chrissy cries in the shower. It's what it is. Chrissy's been crying in the shower? Well, so I told him to get a map and I want you to locate a little country called Lodosa on that map. Yeah, Lodosavania. Lodosavania, because when you're crying in the shower like a lady over a couple of pounds and you still look good, yeah, I think reality, you know, while here Lodosa can help you find it. Here's the thing, come on. Although, and you need to find reality, because here's the thing, is you're a fucking kid. I shared with you on the way in that I stepped on the skin. I now weigh 229 pounds, and even though Chanchee BT tells me, don't worry, you're not fat. For that to be fat, you would have to have 7,500 calories surplus a day every day that don't worry about it. It's glycogen, which is probably just throwing water in your muscles, which you're just going to hydrate over hydrate, and you're going to pee it out. You're going to get what's called a Wush effect. And eventually, that way, it's going to come right down. It doesn't help in the moment. I saw 229.2 this morning, and I sat down on my toilet, which was closed, and I started to cry. And I started to cry, and then I just, one of my daughters said, "Dad, is everything okay in there?" I said, "Yeah, honey, I'm just having allergies. It's okay." And then, so I said, "I started to cry." And then, I just tried to breathe. I said, "You got to get through it." I said, "Remember this. You know, don't fear anything. You have, you have faith. Faith is external. Hope is internal. You have faith that you will get better." And then, I spoke to you about it. And then, you told me that it was going to be okay. And then, I was still very handsome. And then, you still loved me. And then, that's why when I saw you in the coffee shop, and you were facing this way, I came up and I kissed you right in the back of your head. He did. He came and he surprised me with a kiss right in the back of the head, in the middle of a crowded coffee shop. The kid moves quit. The kid moves swiftly. The kid moves on. And that's what I like about it is. You do everything quick. And that's where it's an advantage. Because I do remember one time you went through a breakup and you cried to be in the phone, but it was quick and it was over. Yeah. It was surprised. I felt almost raped by your cry. When a guy's going to cry to you over the phone, I need, I need to be prepped on that. And the problem was is I cried to you on the phone when I went through that breakup. And then, just a moment later, I had another call with the executives of Comedy Central. And I cried to them too. So that was the issue with that. And that is why I slowly but surely get no more work from Comedy Central. Well, no, I don't think Comedy Central gets any more work from Comedy Central. Yeah, they're out of here. Yes. So don't worry about it. But what's happened as the disintegration of Hollywood has continued and the flourishing of the internet continues and the balance of power changes. What I've noticed is your haircut has changed just as much as the news that we're getting. So what do we think of this one? As the advertising shifts from the digital from the Hollywood, your haircut's got less Hollywood, more cop. Yeah, but you're back. Because when I Queens, Chris, he's back. We got a guy coming in who was a former cop. Yeah. Yeah. You're just back because you're firmly in Ridgewood. You're ready to let it rip. I'm ready to let it rip because what I keep doing is I keep trying to change my haircut. So the advertisers, I want them to say, is this so can we give me money now? Everything I tried to swoop at this way, super this way. I said, when are you going to just I want to sell hot dogs? Yeah, cuz I want to get out there and start selling some breaths. I am not 100% sure nor is there any way for me to know for sure what you doing your downtime. You're a sneaky little fucking guy. Yeah. There's a good chance because that you could be an ice. Yeah, it's just one of those. There's like 10 guys in the news where I went. Is that Chrissy? It's just cuz and let's be honest. If I'm sitting there crying on my toilet bowl because of my weight, it's not called downtime. It's called Down syndrome. But we had a good weekend. You got banged up. I got banged up of THC shelters and I have a little bit of, you know, it doesn't, it's not. I don't have to go too far into my past to know why I probably gained six pounds over the weekend because I had a couple of THC shelters and I ate a lot, a lot, a lot of food. Yeah. A lot of food. I had two Philly cheese steaks. This is all during the games on Saturday. Then I had multiple donuts. Then I had a waffle with pistachio cream. And then at the end, I said, oh, I forgot to get my protein. So I had a little bit of a protein yogurt. But the problem with that is I put a cool weapon in it. So, and then, and then, but I turned it into an ice. You turned it into a dessert, but because I did have water loose shelters, which are zero calories. Zero calories. Yeah, and I like with water loose. The water loose are good. Yeah. But you know what I like the most is this chow's. Yeah. Yeah. Those Pellegrino chow. Yeah. But they have 20 calories. So I can't drink. They got 20 calories. And I'm sure they're not great for you. I'm sure there's some aspect. But there does come a point where you just go, you know, do you ever think about like, it'd be nice to just join a cult? It would be. Yeah. Wouldn't it be nice to join a cult? Doesn't a good brainwashing sound good? Yeah. I understand now why people join cults because sometimes you just want to check out and tune out and what better way than just have a guy telling you what to do. That's why I like brainwash me. Babe, tell me the fucking aliens you're coming. Tell me. Here's my wife. First of all, you always got to offer up your wife. I'm fine with that. Sure. At this point, if she was doing that, I'd say, you know, baby, good for you. Yeah. And, you know, you just get brainwash and you just don't think. Yeah. Nice to just not think. Have people bring me my food. Tell me what they eat. Sure. Let's do that. Well, that's why I like taking those orange theory classes because you just go, they put you a heart rate monitor on and you just go and you have a coach saying, come on, get it. Yeah. And then you just go. And then they always do a thing. Well, they'll say, you know, if you're because you have to clamp on a treadmill and they'll say, if you're a power walker, put the put the treadmill to four or 3.5. And if you're a jogger, go to five and up. So what I like to do is I go four. I go in between. I go, I'm not a power walker, but I'm not a jogger. You're in between. I'm in between. So it makes me feel good and I watch my heart rate. And then, you know, unfortunately, for me right now, I still am in a time where I'll do that. And then I'll say, you know, I earn that and I'll go get myself a bagel or, you know, it's a fatty food and a muffin. And that's why I'm 229. But I am going to get down. I think we, you and I spoke about this by April 15, tax day. I'm going to be 210. Yeah. Because you showed me a picture of what made you cry. And you were just gotten such good shape that that's just not sustainable. Yeah. On the happiness in that, it's just not sustainable. On the patreon for all the gay guys out there, we're going to post a picture of what my target bod is. Yeah. We're going to post that. And if you look really close, I pissed in my pants. Yeah. Yeah. I just have a fault. So we're going to post that on the patreon. This is what I'm trying to get to. And you know what? Honestly, honey, you telling me that that's not sustainable actually made me feel better because I was like, you know what? You're right. As long as my number is a good. Yeah. It looks like cholesterol is good. As long as your numbers are good, you're, oh, you, you look the same. You look great because the good thing about you and this is where you're lucky. First of all, you know, you got good genes. You're a good looking guy. You always look good, except for when we were doing the bracket, you looked fat. I looked fat there. Yeah. And I look special needs. Yeah. Right. So, but besides that, you also have the gift where you get this is what I think I look like when I look in the mirror. The thing is you get big and areas that are under close. Right. You never really rarely unless you get really fat, put it on the face. Right. It goes to your thighs and it goes to your ass. Yeah. Now, could I ever look like that? Is there a point where you couldn't blow out to that? And would that be the fun? Would that be a 10 out of 10? Yeah, because you do your genes in my opinion, your genes are like first half a life good. Right. And then second half a half a life blowout. That's why you're starting to get like thighs. Yeah. What you got to do is you got to look at day tytony and go, that's what you're supposed to look like. Well, that's what you're going to have to work against that. Well, Jazz already said that she's like, you know, I'm starting to notice already that you like have mannerisms like your dad now, you know, the skin tech. She's noticing she's like, you know, your butt is like a triangle. She was like, you know, and I just, she was like, she's actually having second thoughts. She's like, I don't know. And I, that's why I told I said, Jazz, you should have got, you know, you caught me at 30. You should marry me at 30. But now you're starting to get into these, to these latter years. I don't know what you're doing either. Yeah. There's no doubt about it in my mind if you didn't get nicked a little bit. Right. You'd be sitting in a Dunkin Donuts. Mm-hmm. looking through the New York Post, drinking a coffee with way too much milk and way too much sugar, sitting in new balance with the Velcro straps on them, and shorts with really, really thick, kind of purplish bottom legs. There's no question for you. And I would call that my office. Yeah, that would be just where you kind of hung out. Yeah. Yeah. And so you got nicked, and you know, a lot of people think gays are bad thing, but right there gays a good thing, because everything good about you is gay. And that is true. Everything good about me is gay. And that's the name of the episode folks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think because, you know, that's where all your talents come from. You know what's funny too about gay, and I'm happy like, you know, that we're just getting back to a world where we can kind of say some things. So I was at the comedy seller a couple of nights ago, and I won't name names, but a comic, who we know, I'll tell you on the Patreon, great guy. You know, you know, a little bit of like, you know, an anxious kind of, you know, Julie kind of guy. He goes, you know, we were talking about how the new coach of the Giants is, is Harbaugh, great coach, super winning coach, and he goes, and he goes, yeah, he was like, he was like, I want to love him. He's like, I love the Giants. He goes, but now all of a sudden, and I found out Harbaugh is a mega guy. He's like, what are we supposed to do now? It's a mega guy. And so there's a gay comedian sitting at the table and a black comedian sitting at the table. And this comic is going down to do his spot. And he goes, yeah, it's a mega guy. And then the black comedian, black comedian goes, yo, you sound like a faggot. And it got the gay kid and the black guy, he just were laughing at him. And you're just like, okay, there you go, because the gay guy laughed, the black guy made the joke, everything's fine. And I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that is funny. If I'm, if for gay Republican should be called faggot. They should be called faggot. Is there, should we start faggot? F-A-G-A. It's like where we, you know, the gay Trump is faggot. Has anyone said that already? I don't know, I've never heard it. I don't know if I've ever heard it. Well, Nick's writing it down. Yeah. But if you've, if you really, if you tailor your life based on the political opinions of the people who are doing things that you enjoy, you're going to really box yourself in. You're going to box it. So you're not going to watch a giant game because the guy, because you like how you can do it. I mean, yeah, yeah, I mean, the guy, he's not doing it on the football. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's just, yeah. That's unbelievable that we've gotten to that point. There was a day in this country where the personal opinions or the personal life of a politician or somebody of import was just not something that was on the radar of the public. Sure. Because they were more concerned with his job performance. Right. Right. So we're going to talk today about a very well-known guy named JFK. But we're not going to, we're not going to talk about JFK and what he did. Bay of pigs. We're not going to talk about that. That's a bit of a war. Yeah. We're not going to talk about his policies. We're going to talk about a little thing that was called his personal life, which is well known. But we're going to have a fun time with it. Not as much of a fun time as JFK have because what you're going to find out is we had one president. I would say two probably. Yeah. That definitely belonged squarely in firmly with two feet inside the program. Yeah. Yeah. JFK was a sex addict. I mean, cause the program exists because of JFK JFK. And we'll make a little reference to a guy named Billy Clinton because it's just funny to compare that Billy Clinton, he liked, he liked trash. Yeah. And because your initial idea was JFK versus Bill Clinton for a push-off. Yeah. Which I thought was funny. Yeah. Great. For a push-off, which I thought was funny. And you know, you, what did you say? I mean, we had some funny texts. We did. We can read those on the Patreon as well. Well, we did on the Patreon and we're going to, well, maybe we'll name some names over some funny kids that got mentioned that they're going to get tuned up. Yeah. No, we just said it would be nice. Sometimes just a nice tuning I think would help the person who's doing the tuning and the person who's getting tuned up. It'd be nice to just tune people up, you know, a bunch of people in the face again would be nice. Just I think it helps everyone sometimes. Yeah. Now, cause you were in, you know, we're going to get to JFK. We're going to talk about it. But you were in a little place called Royal Oak Michigan, which in the state of Michigan, which is known as the American Caliphate. Yeah. So how was it? How did you feel? Did you have to, was it there, Sheree Law? What was going on? Yeah. Well, Royal Oak Michigan, you know, they call it Royal Oak Michigan. But what I like to call it is white flight suburb of Detroit. Sure. Yeah. So a white stronghold. It's white stronghold. It's something I think everyone who lives there had a parent or a grandparent that used to live in Detroit. And then they left their house one day and they went, wow, something's changed here. We're going to go a little farther out. Yeah. And so they went to Royal Oak because when you looked at the audiences cause, if I took a picture of those audiences in Royal Oak and said, Hey, I'm in Detroit, people would go stop lying. That's not with the Wikipedia page. Yeah. That's Aspen. I mean, it looked like Aspen. I mean, it was a white area and it was a good time. It was really cold. Right. So I don't know. I didn't see a lot of muzzies. I mean, you know, they just weren't, I think that's deer born. They're in Detroit. But aren't they everywhere now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just, it's just one of those things where I just was interested because, you know, you're way outnumbered. Yeah. But I took a drink from the faucet and I was thinking, oh, no, flints only an hour away. Right. So I don't know. I took a drink from the faucet. Have they fixed that yet? They haven't. I mean, okay, we're getting rid of Michigan. No, Michigan, I wanted to Michigan. I'd like to stay. But I wanted to get rid of Minnesota. I posted a picture on the history. I mean, with me, my daughters did my makeup when I got tuned up on THC. They did my makeup and I said, that's what a man in Minnesota looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's what it is. I'm not saying, you know, I mean, there's just a lot of problems over there in Minnesota. And I'm good. I'm good getting rid of it. And I just want to go back to the fun again. Like to be honest with you, I want to go back to the, you know, Bill Clinton haven't fun. Bill Clinton was just having fun. You know, I'm a little tired of everything being so serious. Like, I mean, let's get fun. Like, who's the new Epstein? Well, I think it's, you know, yeah. I think it's really funny when you think about it. Think about it. Like, so the GOP back then, the Republican Party was trying to take down Bill Clinton because he was, does it get funnier than sticking a cigar and a girl's pussy? No. I don't know if it gets funnier than that. And what I'd like to call that is a loophole. Yeah, that's a loophole because he didn't put anything besides the, well, he ended up putting a lot of the things in there too. When he got a blowy, he got a blowy. And I think he banged it out. And, you know, but it's like, are we really, you're the president of the United States? We're going to, we're going to say you got to get in peach because you got a blowy. What is this high school? It's crazy. You got a blowy. I mean, first of all, Monica Lewinsky will get cracked. She will get cleaned. She will get punched through. Is there anything, because like Monica Lewinsky, like for like a secretary or whatever it was that position, that's a nice one to bang out. Yeah, right? Yeah. That's a real nice one. And she is hot. She is, Monica Lewinsky's hot. She'll get banged out. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, I'm just saying, we went from a Republican party or GOP that spent so much money trying to take this guy down over a blowy in the overall office to now electing a guy who, I mean, fucked porn stars. His, his wife, we've seen her test. Right. I mean, hey boy, there's only been one president who we've seen the first lady's test. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I mean, Melania is the hottest. 100%. I put her and then Barbara Bush. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Barbara put George W. George sold Joe puts Barbara Bush. Yeah. Barbara Bush. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we've seen Melania's tits. I mean, there she is right there. Those are her tits. I mean, yes. That's the first lady's tits. It's just what it is. And so, it's just isn't that funny, that swing? She's still gorgeous. Oh, she is number one. I mean, yeah. And I'm not saying anything else about her, except for the fact that we've seen her tits. We've just seen her tits, but then there's Barbara Bush. She's not bad either. I'm just saying. Rest in peace, of course. Yeah. Wish she hot when she was younger though. 100%. My little piece of choosing, see, because I would put, I would put George W's wife. She was kind of hot. She was kind of hot. And, and, and his daughters are beautiful too. I mean, George Bush will get cracked open. Yeah. He's a good looking guy. Good looking guy. Yeah. But that is a big switch. Now, look, somebody put pictures of young Barbara and she's still, they still got a guy. Yeah. Yeah. It's why I'm into it. Yeah. She looks more like a guy. Now, Kaywood, you said JFK. I mean, she really looks like a guy. Look at what it is. It's what it is. Yeah. Now, you bet you were, where did you come up with the idea? Like what, what popped into your mama? You said, let's talk about the girls JFK banged out because I was thinking about it. And I just thought that it was really funny and just indicative of another time that I think we've kind of returned to a little bit with the election of Trump because he was a guy. I mean, the sexual scandals go all the way back even as far as did this guy, possibly sleep with girls that had the teen word there. Right. Right. And he was friends with Epstein, whatever. And like 77 million Americans were just like, you know, and back then JFK was doing all this, the press knew. I'll go even farther and tell you, which is true, that his wife knew. Sure. His wife was aware. Sure. But she was just, it was just that at that time, it was just like, not with a pertinent president's wife when it comes to push. Sometimes you got to just agree to disagree. Yeah. You know what I mean? You got to just say, and you got to tell, I think what, I think what you explained to the wives when you're the president of the United States, you say, listen, babe, listen to me. I'm the president now. I probably, I can make, I can do this. I'm not going to play offense. I'm not going to go. look at for push, but I can't tell you I'm going to play defense right right come at me. And somebody comes up to me and says they want to stick, you know, a lady asked me, Mr. President, can you stick your cigar in my pussy? I can't play defense. I'm not going to ask to do it. We're doing a running gun office. It's all this. Yeah, my fence. You have my vows. Yeah, but I ain't playing deep. Yeah, what we're doing is we're doing a little Mike Dantone running gun. It's what it is. We're going to run up the numbers. Yeah, we're going to try to outscore them. Yeah. That's what I think guys. I play. I will not play offense defense. It's like, what do you want me to do? Yeah. If this piece right here is saying I'd love to put my lips on your presidential card. Right. I mean, that's play. That's when you just say, you know what? It's your this is an American. I took an oath to the American people to give them what they asked for and hear their concerns. Right. I'm not playing offense. She asked on I told you I can't play defense. Right. Plus being the head of the executive branch is very stressful. Sure. Can we thank these women for their service a little bit. 100%. What a little Gowinsky. Can we thank you for your service? Thank you for your service. Thank you for actually keeping the country safe. And I listen, no disrespect to Hillary. But it's like, do you want to bang a lady who's wearing shoulder pads? Inner shoes. That's what I'm saying. Like put yourself in bill shoes. Yeah. I'm not saying right or wrong. But it's like if your wife is walking around in a pants suit with shoulder pads. Yes. Right. Like your wife is dressed like a safety in the NFL. So yeah. Like if your wife is dressed like Ed Reid from the Ravens, like, what do you want me to do? I'm going to bang out something else. Yeah. What am I supposed to do? That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying like you put the put yourself in his shoes. Right. Right. Him going every single time and banging 13 year olds. That I can't, you know, if I can't go with that, I can't go without one. Right. We're banging out Monica Lewinsky and just, you know, huh? I'm playing defense. For this episode, we're going to go with what we know, not with the rumors are not with what we might suspect about both Trump or Clinton or whatever. But I will tell you about JFK JFK did go as low as 19. That's on the, that's documented. And so this is how funny it was. Now nine to, but 19's legal, legal, completely legal. It's the latest legal in the U.S. Are we 17 or 18 state? That's what makes it a little, that's the problem. Let me just tell you boys. If you're ever out there in a situation and you have to, you're with the girl and you have to Google if her age is legal, then just don't do it. Just don't do it. If you have to ask chat GPT, Hey, I'm in this state. Is this count? Yeah. I would leave. Yeah. That's what you want to do. But 19 is solidly legal everywhere. Wow. 35 states have an age of consent of 16. Right. A handful have 17 and in 11 states, it's 18. Well, check this out. 16 is actually the most common age of consent in the country. That doesn't mean socially, it's going to be looked upon well. Right. If you're here, like in your 30s or words. So you're saying if you're like in whatever one of these states and you're 50 years old, you can bang out a 16 year old. No problem. Legally. If you go to the grim and you see, she has a locker. Yeah. Don't do it. Don't do it. What is standing by a locker? Yeah. Don't do it. Don't do it. Cause here's a simple rule. Here's a simple rule that I want to point. If she has a pediatrician, don't do it. Don't do it. Yeah. This happened. It's what it is. I mean, she's gorgeous. I mean, gorgeous. But she was, she was swiftly and sternly 17 years old. And he was 39. It's what it is. It's what he is. But at different time, different time, I guess, whatever. So, but JFK had two secretaries, one of which I think was 19 and what's really funny. But she got cracked open. She got cracked open. Why? They started her friend. They both got cracked open. And the secret service had a nickname for them. Cause the secret service knew about it. And they protected him. And I think it was, what was it? Fibble and fabble? Huh? I don't know. Yeah. Let's Google it. He had a name for them. The secret service just called them Fibble and fabble or fabble and fibble or something like that. And they were just two chicks that he would bang out at different times. Okay. So I don't know. He would probably be on the phone with the Russians or whatever. I didn't. He banged a lot of guys wives on one of the conspiracies. That's why he's really got clipped. It's because he was banging on my feet. Guys, why for something him and G. Econa, um, she banged a chick around the same time. But G. Econa, my boss and G. Econa. Yeah. He's my boy. He was my boy. Oh, we're going to get to it. Yeah. We'll get to it right now. Fiddling fattled. Yes. Fiddling fattled. Cause I want to talk to you about you. I mean, they got a high protein star in a kid. And you know what I like because today is we're doing it. We're filming this episode on MLK day. It might come out the day later, but they got a little thing called black edition powder. That's what that's what I remember that. That's what I like. I don't know if it has. I don't even know if it's black, but they have black edition powder and I'm into it. And also the thing that's great about fuel is, um, they sent us these high protein starter kits. And like you said, we got to load down on the carbs and go protein first. We, Yani and I have both Yani and I collectively in this, but this podcast, if we're going to be honest, because Jess is doing great, Nick is doing great, but collectively between us, his podcast is put on 50 pounds. Yeah. So we have to add it another guy and wait. We had it. We have to get it off. And the only way to get it off is up the protein, lower the carbs, which is exactly what she all does, ready to drink. It's a, it's a complete meal, 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweeteners. And it actually tastes good. Now you can't sweeten it with your own gizz. That's up to you. That's up to you. But I'm not saying you do that. You don't have to do that. No. The black edition chocolate powder is absolutely delicious. Thank you. You'll for sending it to us. They're just, it's great. That's what I've been using. And it's, I'll make a whole smoothie out of it. It's great. Yeah. 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Please tell them that the history. Hyena sent you. Fiddle and final. That would be fun if you just said to the secret service guys. Just bring me fiddle. Yeah. And then you, they bring, sorry, I'm sorry. I thought you said final. No, I need, I need someone to fiddle on my dick, not fab a way. Yeah. Yeah. Do I look like I'm in a fiddle mood today? Bring me final. So their names are Priscilla wear and Jill Cowan. Now I got to be honest. Priscilla wear sounds hot. Jill Cowan sounds like well. So let's see. Is Jill Cowan a hottie? She's probably. No. Well, that's the thing about JFK. He didn't really do vibes. He did dance. Yes. He were. I'm just a little different. Yeah. I mean, he, uh, you know, well, the funny thing is when you see them now, right? It's just, they just, while they blow out, they blow out. Yeah. Yeah. Jill Cowan. They were young. I mean, oh, yeah. I mean, they're all, yeah, they're all pizzas. They could all get cracked. They're all get cracked. They all will get cracked. Merlin Meroly cracked. Supposedly, he also had a secret one with Aubrey Hepburn who when you look at her when she was young, I mean, a 10 deep, I mean, for Rome. Yeah. I mean, the kid was like a Roman emperor for Rome. He also liked prostitute. He's like the few two. Well, I say it's a little Paul's taxpayers money. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the, the president of the United States liked working girls. So does the president of the United States take taxpayer money to pay for a two or do it or do the teachers do it for free? I think you come out of pocket for that one. Yeah. I think you whip out the old money clip for that one. Yeah. Yeah. You [BLANK_AUDIO] you cash. - Yeah. - But yeah, I mean, even if you do it at the White House, it's what it is. - What it is? - He would go skinny dipping with a lot of girls. They would get naked. I mean, he said supposedly Fibble and Fabble were always wet. - That was wet 'cause the kid liked to go skinny. - Skinny dipping, but you know what's crazy? It's like, obviously we look down upon all the, I mean, we're having fun with it, but there's people out there, they're like, "There's that scostag." And then it's like, look at it kings from like 200 years ago, 300 years ago. I mean, this would be nothing. It wouldn't even be a story there. But yeah, of course you just have a million mistresses, you have concubines, right? That's what they call them? - Yeah, and you can't put any of the responsibility or blame on the women, those are the rules. - That's the rules. - That's the rules. - Those are always the rules. - We have, they all, he should have known better all the time, not them. - Right, right. - You know, apparently women are all like special needs before they turn 45, like they have no agency of their own. - He used his power over her, but the fact that the human vagina is the most powerful weapon ever created - That doesn't count relevant. - That doesn't count no. - Yeah. - Yeah, these girls had no idea what they were doing. - Yeah. - They were all like brainwashed. - Right. - They couldn't see past his power. Like he just, he always should have known better. - Right. - They knew he was married, but you know, that doesn't count. - Yeah. - That just doesn't count. - Right. - That's just a woman, which is funny, because in the one side, it's like respect women, equality, our brains are just as good as men, and we're all as good as men. - Men are stupid. - That, except what a married man has an affair, then it was hit only his fault. - Yeah. - It was not the woman's fault. There's no blame. Nothing. - Women stand as one. - That's why it was easier and much easier to be obama 'cause he was gay. That's a advantage that he had. - Yeah. - It's just, it really, it makes it a little easier when you're in the she-melt. We're just kidding, I love the president of obama. We know you're listening. - But I'm saying there's just less of a pool that Nick almost walked out. - Yeah. (laughing) - Nick has a paper bag that he brings into what things start to get hot here. - Yeah, he's just breezing the paper bag, which is what's supposed to be. - You know how, no, Nick's on snap benefits, 'cause he brings a thermos. (laughing) - It's guys. (laughing) - 'Cause bring the list back up. - It's got a fucking soup in the thermos. (laughing) - 'Cause so, he was just a high class guy. - Clashy. - But he didn't once in a while. Everyone likes to eat a five star restaurant, but we all do like a nice dollar slice once in a while. - Yeah, mix it up. - There's a couple of times where I've had a couple of dollar slices and very good friends of mine have tried to talk me out of it. - Yeah. - But I said I'm having a dollar slice. I'm having a dollar slice. 'Cause the kid would go high. Okay, so I mean-- - Yeah. - But wife is Jackie Kennedy, who's beautiful. - Who's the piece? - And if your middle name's Booby Aire, you're, I'm in. - Yeah, if your name's Booby Aire, you definitely got a couple dollars. You're definitely from a legacy family. - Yeah, then Mary Pinchomire, and again, if the middle name's Pincho, I'm in. - Now this is the interesting one. - Why is she interesting, 'cause-- - Because she got shot and killed and wasn't robbed. - Just lost stream. (laughing) - So it's just-- - Why did that happen to Lewinsky? - Yeah. - You think Bill was like, hey, how do we handle this? - Yeah. - And you think the CIA at the time was like, well, we could go to the JFK route. - Could? - Yeah. - But I think, I think, you know what, I think he asked. I think-- - You feel clueless. - He's asked. - You see it swear to God, you think he for real asked. - I think he looked into it? - Yeah. Once he found out that there was some rumblings going on with Kenna Star, by the way, Kenna Star, who's Kenna Star, Kenna Star was the guy who was investigating Clinton and got the dress and was like taking samples of the semen. I mean, if we could get Kenna Star's internet history based on his face, not good. - Not good. - Hold on, this is my garage guy. - Okay, go for it. - Yeah, here's a look at Kenna Star. What do you think that guy's into? - Yeah, that guy's probably into the same things as Larry Nasr, the gymnastics coach. - It doesn't look good. - Yeah, it does not look good. So this chick was interesting, and this is one of the most interesting things about JFK is he had a long affair with this chick, but this chick was married to a top CIA guy before, right? So she was married to this guy Cord Meyer before. They were divorced, whatever. But she started a long affair with JFK, and then in 1964, after he was murdered, JFK was already dead. He was already dead, but it was right after he died, like the first day after the Warren Commission started. She's just walking down the street, and somebody just plugs her in the back of the head, and they just blamed the black guy. - Wow. - You ended up getting. - You don't have to waste your energy. - Can you actually pull that, 'cause I have weenit, why is that not a massive story? - Exactly, because the media. - Wow, let's go into this, yeah. - This is interesting, let's go. Jesse, yeah, let's pull up death, murder. Yeah, let's just get into this. Yeah, go to chat, 'cause we're the chat GPT club. - Oh, you gotta use chat. - Google can suck it. - Yeah, chat GPT is quicker. - And then we're going to grok to end the episode, 'cause I want to come. - Yeah. - Jesse has something against chat. - Well, Jesse, what I've noticed about Jesse, is the way he's dressing and the way that he's, you know what I mean, he better stop it, 'cause he's coming in here looking cute every day. - Yeah, you might kiss him on the back of his head. - I can't kiss on the back of his head. - 'Cause, will you kiss Nick on the back of the head? - No, because I don't want to get surprised to saw my lip. - No, Nick's got good, I'll kiss Nick on the back of his head. - So much hair. - Yeah, so someone came up, just walked behind her. - Okay. - She got shot twice, point blank range. One time in the head, one in the heart. So whoever was doing it, you know, wanted to make sure she was dead. - Yeah, so that's not a, like, I don't think that's a random robbery to get shot in the head in the heart. - Well, here's the thing is she wasn't robbed at all. So it was just somebody walked up, shot her in the back of the head, and that was it. And they arrested Roy Crump Jr. - Ray Crump Jr. - Yeah, Ray Crump Jr. is just a black day laborer found near by me. - Yeah, who sometimes guests on Tim Dylan's podcast. - Yeah, that's right. - And he was, I guess, somewhere around the scene, there was no murder weapon ever recovered, and no forensic evidence. - Crump linking into the problem. - Crump was acquitted, so he was acquitted. So Myers murder gained retrospective interest in 1976 when it was revealed she had been a mistress of JFK. - Long time mistress. - Following a death of Scramble and Sue to find her private diary, her brother-in-law, and CIA counterintelligence chief James Jesus Angelton, were both involved in locating it, Bradley later admitted the diary detailed her affair with Kennedy, allegations of drug use. Notably from Timothy Leary, that Meyer introduced JFK to marijuana and possibly LSD, seeking to influence him toward world peace, okay? So the case remains unsolved. It's featured in true crime media. See, this is, but it's not really that featured. It's not, it's really not, the thing is, within the world that we live in, is like this is such a major thing that could connect at all, and it just gets swept onto the rug like the movie with Pete Davidson and Eddie Murphy. (laughing) Just nobody saw it. - Nobody saw it, nobody knew it actually. - It's Pete Davidson and Eddie Murphy, two of the biggest comedy stars of our time. The movie came out six months ago. - Yeah, yeah. - So it's just things that we just live in a different kind of world. - Yeah, one of them is legendary. One of them you would never think ever if you saw he was in a movie, nobody would know about it. Eddie Murphy, and it just came and went and we didn't even know what happened. So then they're saying others like biographer Nina Burley believe it was likely a botched sexual assault and that Ray Crump may have actually been the killer despite his acquittal. And the thing is, is a shot to the head and a shot to the heart. Just doesn't sound like something a man named Ray Crump could pull off. - No, this is, well, obviously this was not that. - Well, and they say, and they say in Mary's mosaic, this author suggests the CIA assassinated her because she knew too much about the JFK assassination or was planning to go public with secrets found in her diary. I know we're gonna talk about sex and JFK, but it just needs to be said that there is absolutely positively no way our own government did not kill our president. - There's no. - It's just not possible anymore. - Just no way possible that this chick was killed for any other reason except for whatever she knew. - Yeah, they just were like, you know what? She shouldn't be on the planet anymore, too much of a risk. - Yeah, it's just, you have to just accept what I told you is that the government killed the president. - It's a very good case. - It's just a very likely thing. - It's that I don't think I'm saying, I think we all know, right? - Well, what I think is even funnier about it is there is film of it and he's shot from the front. - And it's what I mean, no, it goes like that. You're shot from the back. - Yeah, it's just what it is. - It's one of the biggest gas lights we've ever had. And I think it's very, very fitting that the airport is named after him, JFK Airport, 'cause when you go through security there it feels like you got shot in the head, it's right. And it just doesn't make sense that the guy that shot him said that I'm a patty because guys that usually do do the killings if they're loan assassins, they want the credit. - Sure, right? You know, like John Wilkes Booth who we covered last week, by the way, we took a lot of shit. Rightfully so, what did we do wrong? - It was my mistake. - What did we do? - I said Andrew Johnson was easy on the South. It was the, I mean, that Andrew Johnson was too harsh on the South, and it was actually the opposite. - Yeah. - So, I am an idiot. - Well, we all, and we all make mistakes. I was talking about Robert E. Lee's father and I kept calling him Lightfoot Lee and it's Light Horse Lee. (laughing) - So, again, we are the history high heaters. We're kind of crazy when it comes to history. - Yeah, I mean, I just, a couple of people on the Patreon just let us, they just wanted to reiterate that we're full blown. It's just what it is and I can't disagree with that. Yeah. Yeah. I can only affirm that it's true I can and I can only affirm that if you're the email I received an email saying Somebody's saying that they were out my show in West Virginia a week and a half ago And they were very upset that I was saying that Minnesota should be removed from the United States And we should get rid of Minnesota They said it's too soon an innocent person died And I what I have to say to you is I have a group that you can join and it's called fag-up Ways on seeing so any just know that you're gonna start seeing f dot a dot g dot a If you make any comments us just know that that's the group and we encourage the fans That's the group that certain people belong. We have a place for you. Yeah, it's little place where you can be who you want to be You know, you can make America gay again. It's called fag-up You made up your way you belong in that group, but we will tell you we'll tell you we'll let you know One of the one of the comments that was brought to my attention, which was my favorite was guys I love the show you guys are hilarious, but Jesus read a book Yeah, well no, we're not we've we've told you that we've went from the Wikipedia to the chat GPT slots We're not reading a book. We're not reading it but I just That just kind of I think that we could put that as the description of our show Hey, you guys are gonna really enjoy this, but these two guys don't read. Yeah. Yeah, never read a book Yeah, yeah, I mean that was good. Yeah, because we we explain history the way we see it Yeah, or the way we have time enough to understand how it happened Yeah, so you know how George Washington his his best Attribute Benjamin Franklin said is he sees things as they are not as he wishes they were Well, where the opposite we see things as we wish they were not as they are exactly. That's how we live That's how we do it. Yeah, oh god that comment maybe left So yeah, I mean she was just killed so Meyer got capped. Yeah, and now let's get a Judith Campbell exner He likes banging out chicks with three names. Yeah, he does back in a lot of people had three names. I like going back to three names. Yeah she was um She was just the chick That Also was banging Sam Giacana some girls just get cracked and um, let's be she a peach support. Yeah, she was a piece and supposedly According to her she was relaying Information between JFK and Sam Giacana, but that's according to her. That's corner. Yeah, and here she is She's a piece. She's a piece dude Yeah, so these girl and that's and that's Sam Giacana the the mob boss. Yeah. Yeah, so Supposed also Frankie Sinatra problem. I was supposedly probably clip that yeah, he said he tapped it to Took it down whatever you want body it, you know, what is true? However you want to say yeah, I mean come these girls got cracked They got cracked open and you know what I got to be honest with you It's like well, you know what I mean like I don't I I won't sit here and say Judith Campbell X is a bad lady. It's like you're a beautiful woman. You get banged out. No, you by the top people in the world Good feel. Yeah exactly and you know to bang she Frank Sinatra JFK Sam Giacana. This was a kind of chick. You knew who could really suck a dick. Yeah And we're gonna tell you who else JFK filled up right after this message from BetterHelp Cause tell me about blu-cho You know me. I'm rock hard right now. 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That's ASPCA pet insurance.com slash hyenas eligibility restrictions apply Visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info This is a paid advertisement insurance is underwritten by either independent American insurance company or the United States Fire insurance company and produced by PTZ insurance agency limited the ASPCA It's not insurer and it's not engaged in the business of insurance Because in order for her to ignore how dangerous a position she was in yeah, and the kind of high stakes position She was in yeah, and in order to convince these guys you know if you're if you bang the head of the mafia Sure, and then you're another guy and you're gonna bang that chick and you know that the head of the mafia likes this chick The head the head game must be so crazy that it just takes your mind and goes, you know, it's worth it. Yeah. Yeah, it's worth that Yeah, I'm telling you I bet you should play with the balls. I bet you should lick the tape 100% you might have went back door and fucking cleaned up the smash bean There's no way this woman didn't leave every meeting with a dirty Sanchez. There's no way and there's no way She'd left every meeting looking like Nick. Yeah Yeah, she looked like the stick and there's no way JFK with the amount of Tale that he consumed. There's no way the guy didn't get a little freaky and didn't like his asshole to get clean There's no way that JFK didn't like a little We like to call street sweepers. Yeah. Yeah, there was no way there wasn't a street sweeper back there Now because is there anybody in the modern history that got more puss than JFK? Was he numero no dude? He the estimates that are known What's just known is While he was married in how long was he president? A couple years and he banged out 50 one of them was Marilyn Monroe who's the Kim Kardashian of the day Yeah, and don't forget how busy a president is yeah, the kid found time found time he found time and he got and then he had Priscilla where um Who was actually the sister of JFK's friend Jill Cowan? Right me me Alfred who was 19. Yeah, that was one Angie Dickinson who was a supermodel Yeah, Angie Dickinson and me me Alfred was either Fibble or fabble. Okay, and Gunilla von Post who is a sweetest aristocrat See that see see Janice sees a girl like see a woman like Gunilla von Post You you like it. Well, here's the thing that's clean you saying she's sweetest. She's no formata. You like the name. Yeah, you yeah Yeah, that yeah, that's what you like. I mean cause Gunilla von Post, I mean to you know you see I'm not into that. Yeah, but to me cause that that's a fucking Puerto Rican girl with a chip too That's what I want. Yeah, that's what I'm seeing now. This is the ones supposedly that he loved This was his top I get it. Yeah, yeah, cause you're into it. He actually was thinking about leaving Jackie for her And his dad was like are you crazy? That's not good for your political career And do you know what kind of you know what kind of illegal stuff I had to do to get you elected? Yeah, yeah They stole the election. They did right his dad was yeah, Catholics don't usually win No, they don't usually win in an order to win that that time Unfortunately, you had to do you had to get in bed with the mob and make some things Trump he's not a Catholic either, right? They're not their Christians, but they're not now. He's he's a wasp. Is Rubio Catholic? Rubio's a Catholic. I'm my vote. Yeah So let's go back to some of these other chicks because she was a piece, but she's a piece. Yeah, Mimi Alfred 19 And here's the thing about her too. She wrote a book also because all these chicks of course read books become but remember they were victims They all write bucks right and She She's not apologetic about, she says, she's like, nobody's going to take, I spent a week with him, nobody's taking that week for me. It was magical. Who says Magna. He was in the middle of on post? Yeah. Yeah. She's like, they all say he was magnetic and they just, he was just incredible. Let's take a peek at Joan Lundberg. This is the White House secretary because sometimes too, someone don't even have to be hot. You just bang out, the boss is just bang out their secretary. Yeah. There's just something, it's just a porn fantasy, even before porn wasn't there. Yeah. Yeah, she can catch it. She can catch it, old school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. None of them are ugly. No. Like I said. It was beautiful. Like I said, there was no, what was the, what was the, Paul Joneses? There was no Paul Joneses. What was the one, Paul Jones? What was the one Bill Clinton did? Lewinsky? Yeah, there was another one. Paul Jones. You remember, Bill Clinton, he had another one, he had a few, he had a few, he had a few charges. He had, let's look at his list. He had a few. I think her name was Paul Jones, Jennifer Flowers, Paul Jones, baby, Paul Jones, let's take a peek at Paul Jones. She was just a chick from Arkansas. That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little different. Yeah. Paul Jones, yeah. Look at that. It's just a little different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Bill Clinton with the Bloomingdale's, yeah, to do his, to get his clothes and Bill Clinton, he just, he liked to go to TJ Maxx. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He liked the Discayab, K was Bloomingdale's. Yeah. Bill Clinton would go, sometimes he'd just step into Costco and get his shirt off the rack. He, the kid just liked to go to Target and see what he could get. I mean, well, the kids from Arkansas, so don't forget, he likes a Backwoods hillbilly. He likes somebody who's a little banged up. He said he looked at this woman. He said she looks like she has dirty feet. I want to bang it. Yeah. Look at this chick. This kid risked his whole political reputation. Yeah. And bang out Paula Jones. Yeah. He couldn't keep his hands off. And Paula Jones sounds hot. Yeah. And then you take a peek and it's a little different, just a little different story is a little different than what we're talking about. A little different. But again, banged out, probably fun. And it's what is, I mean, these guys, they live, I mean, if we're going to go ahead to head, I don't even think it's a question. JFK wins. I mean, JFK is definitely the winner, I mean, then you also got, he begged a few other ones. But let's get back to the lit. I mean, he didn't even get close. Yeah. I mean, garage guys, she's bringing a bomb up. Don't worry. Yeah, I mean, because you know what happened is my garage door doesn't have tracks on it. We removed the track. So you can't get, you can't open the door. Yeah. And then a family member tried to open it yesterday and now that now I have my house, it's just got a big garage door is open and we can't close it. Right. So I had to call in a real guy because I couldn't lift it. Right. So now I got a freaking garage guy coming over. That's just, you know, some just Russian guy that's going to, I'm just going to get banged out. Yeah. You're costs are going up, James, Jane Mansfield, I'm supposedly, he got Judith Anderson, Blaze Star, who was a burlesque dancer. She was a piece. She sounds hot. She's got Inga, Arvada, Danish journalist. I mean, every single woman sounds hot. Yeah. And there's not one that doesn't. Yeah. These are, these are credible, which means it happened. And these are probably a bit anonymous. Multiple White House interns. The guys just cleaned house. Yeah, it's just what it is. If you, if you worked in the White House, you were getting stuck. Hollywood actresses shielded by NDAs are silent. Yeah. We got a lot of that. Bang. Tori. Way song she ain't put on the Patreon, yeah, that's what I thought that out of the Patreon. Who cares. I mean, I never signed it. Yeah. And what it is, put it, yeah, put it on the Patreon. Historians like estimate that it was possibly over a hundo, but only a fraction over a hundo for a man's life. That's not blowing up. It's not a man's life. Cause we're talking about during the presidency. We're talking about just during the presidency. Yeah. So the thing about his affairs, which make them wild, is they were like created national security risks intersected with organized crime, reflected a culture of elite immunity, and helped explain Jackie Kennedy's emotional detachment. Here's the thing. I think this is what they say in the program, I've heard, is a sex addiction is when it gets it threatens your life, right? Like when it threatens your lifestyle, your job or, you know, that's very risky. You're true at it. Yeah. When you're the president and you're hiring call girls to come over to the White House, yeah. That's what you call risky behavior when you're risking it that wanted to tingle. Cause let me ask you a question right now, let me ask a question right now, who's the easier honey pot, JFK or RFK. That's a good, that's a good question. That's who we really should have done is who's got, who's it easier to get honey pot? How much Kennedy, because RFK will get honey potted, I think the easiest honey pot is going to be JFK. Yeah. Cause if you look at this behavior, I mean, it's risky. Bill Clinton too, he's banging Paula Jones is a little risky. But also I think if Bill Clinton lived in JFK's era, he would have done more. And let me just say something to be crystal clear. And I think we all know this, but it just needs to be said here on this podcast. He's that obviously the Kennedy family, you know, an American dynasty, but we know that the one thing they do is they all the men love Puss and we understand why. So there is absolutely positively no way that RFK, Robert F. Kennedy right now. There is no way that his voice sounds like that from a neuropathic condition. It's from eating Puss. Okay. So I just want the lies to stop. He's eating Puss. He didn't ask. And then your voice will sound like that. And I'm not, I'm not blaming the guy, but I'm saying it's enough with the lies that throw the cord injury for me in Puss. You're even pushing, you're eating ass. And that's okay. But I just, I want the American people need to stop being lied to me. Yeah. Yeah. That he can't, he can't lay off. He's eating Puss looking ass. Yeah. He cannot lay off. I mean, and that's perhaps your voice sounds like that. Yeah. So when you got, when you put these head to head, right, they're both compulsive womanizers. You both see elements, the psychological breakdown is what I asked for. You see elements of thrill seeking, poor operational security, and they mix sex with power and stress relief. Right. Right. So they both had affairs with people who were clear intelligence risks. Right. Judith, Judith Exner is the big one from JFK who was connected to Sam Giaconna and had C, C, I F, B, I, um, overlap, um, and Chatchy BT gives the edge to JFK as a counter intelligence nightmare. If a foreign service wanted leverage, the door, this is what Chatchy BT, if a foreign service wanted leverage, the door was wide open. Yeah. So, I mean, I think that's kind of true. I think it's kind of, I think you got to give it that Clinton was obviously a little reckless, but I think JFK, the kid just couldn't handle it. Yeah. I just, he saw a push and I think he just saw a red. Yeah. I mean, cause I, I, he's, I really believe that he ultimately died because of push, not because of anything else. You think so? I think push is just, I think that's just what happens. Yeah. Eventually, push kills you. I think it was. I, it's, I believe in element of that, but what I think is, it's the push and all that he did with the push, um, comp, all the engagement that he did with the push is indicative of more a, a thrill seeking, thrill, seeker personality because supposedly, and I think that's what got him killed was he was just one of those guys that just kind of loved the tingle. Sure. He loved, I think, because even when he went in the motorcade, right, it's like, I think he was warned, like, dude, you shouldn't do that. Like, it's a little bit too much access, things are a little hot, but he was like, no, I want to do it. Yeah. I think he was a kid who loved the tingle. And he got clipped. Yeah, he didn't get clipped. Yeah, he got clipped. That's what it is. I think the women and that altogether, I mean, he was a kid that just was not scared to walk on a ledge. He loved, you know, kid loved push and, you know, ultimately paid the price for it, but he was a great US president. He was a great US president. He was a great US president, and, you know, and the Bay of Pigs invasion was what he's known for. And that's just also what he would do on a nightly basis, he would invade the Bay of Pigs. Yeah. And I have him lined up. And I could just say honestly, I mean, I'm just going to be honest, I'm not going to lie to the fans. Let's be honest. I'm not going to lie to people. No. I don't hate him for this. Me either. I just don't hate him. I just don't, I'm not. I don't hold it against him. Yeah, there's one of those things where it's like, yeah, I just don't hate him. And I just, yeah, I, I think as the world goes on, you know, the modern world we're living in and it could be being fed by the algorithms and all that stuff, I just don't, I just understand why I said to go into Minneapolis. Wait, if you wanted to know who may be the biggest playboy of all time, JFK's at least in the conversation for First Battle Hall fan, 1,000 percent, absolutely 1,000 percent. He's the youngest con of modern day. I mean, he's got to have had more kids out there too because there was no Jamie hats back then. One of them got an abortion. I mean, one of them got an abortion. That was, they have to be one of them had to have his kid. Yeah, but that's the thing is back then, they would just kill you, right? If you were going to threaten like his presidency or like some sort of scandal, they just make it go away. You just get clipped. kind of be honest, you know, Trump, you'll do that too. - Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, just happens. - Yeah, just, you know, yeah. - Well, as always, at the end, we go to patreon.com/historyihinas. That's where all the fun happens. That's where all the episodes continue. Get them unedited, add free over there, plus extra bonus content. It's being part of our community. And when you join, you get your name right out at the end of the episode. And we pick the funniest name to the P.P.W. pseudo penis to the week. Okay, so here we go leading off 1864 World Series MVP, Dodger's first baseman, Sequan Slaveman. - Way song she ain't. - Into one? - Yeah. - Let me just say this 'cause I think it's funny too. There's no way he remembered all those names. So that we had to do a list to remember their names. I think it's sort of an homage, how JFK would remember those. There's no way he remembered it. - No, no chance. - There's no way, yeah. - He was one of those guys where the numbers were so high. - I don't even think he remembered encounters. - Yeah, I don't even think he knew he remembered if he banged one. - Yeah. - He probably looked at what I went. - Yeah. - He probably tried to bang one, he already banged. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. My landscaper's son has allergies, so he called ice on him. - Okay, okay. - Bobby Brooks, Merry Christmas, you fucking Reeth Tarts. - Glad for a game. - I mean, so we're a little behind. - That's a little behind. - Okay. - Yeah. - Muzzies can't eat bedding. (laughing) - Glad for a game. - And these are all walked in at once. - Make sure you beat the right bike thief. - This is all walked in. - It means he ain't crazy. - Bernie C plus Chrissy D plus Yankee P equals the best human centipede. - Okay. - Okay, so you say when we go ask the mouth. - All right, good. - Yeah. - Edward Livingston, Anthony Shammel, Dennis G, Tyler Candy, Bubba, Sirock flavored baby oil. - That's a goody. - Not bad. - What I'm thinking with that is I'm gonna chicken finger that and I also wanna take a moment to just honor and shout out our walked in at once. I'm sorry, not our walked in at once are straight to the back. So we never say straight to the back. Look, you don't have to have a name. You can join, just give your name. Go straight to the back. You're here for the content. - Tyler, Katie, Edward Livingston, he's straight to the back. Just a real name. Then we got my wife divorced me and drained my 401k after she found out I used to bath him sink as a urinal. - Put him on the list. - Put him on the list because we can relate. - Yeah. - She just had enough. - Yeah. - It's not gay, if it feels good, chicken finger. - I mean, it's a statement that's accurate. It's an accurate statement, it's a chicken finger. - White dyslexic squeak that hates gingers. - Okay. - Sorry, Andrew said, you know? - Yeah. - Well, he's saying 'cause he's dyslexic and he said ginger, so it's another word. - Lada 14. - Wow. - Yeah. - But wait a second. - So he said white dyslexic squeak that's the gingers. - Okay. - So I don't approve of the content, but I don't know what it is about being evil that makes people so creative. - Yeah. - But we have to honor that. - Yeah. - Because the creativity there is a 10 out of 10. - You got right pal. - Wow. - Yeah. - But we can't-- - My present. - All I can say right now is you are a contender for the end of the year, walked into one award. - Okay, yeah. - Holy shit. - That's a walked into one Sabrina. - Holy shit. - That's a good one. - Throwing one. (laughing) - Okay. - Yeah, that's what you said. - What's up with this list? - That's two on the note. - Yeah, that's just two on the note. - And that's not okay. - No, none of this is okay. - Gert Brink, Jameson Bundy, Paul, Chrissy D's Realtor, and I want my money. (laughing) Fair enough. Gert, get in line. Sir, a second lazy eye has hit Yannis's face. - I don't have a lazy eye, but the end of the thread. - Let me just say, there is a long lot of people who want your money. - It's what it is. And if I owe you money, get in line. Using my Frisbee to parachute out the North Tower. Okay, not an 11 joke. - Yeah, but it's kind of funny, yeah. I mean, think about it. Did one of them try? Did one of them just hold it up from here? - 14. - He had a better shot of the guy without a Frisbee. - That's true. - Yeah, Drexler. - All right. - I fix the exhaust fans in the Frisbee chamber. - Okay, this is not okay. - He's free, he's free, he's free. - Not okay. - 'Cause this list must, is this list after I walked into one award? - Yeah, this is after, this is crew around Christmas time. Holy shit, this is bad, this is bad. - Mom Donnie Lord of the Dings. - I think they did this to us 'cause they were mad at us for having a few off. - You like that? - No, it's a walk, didn't want. - Yep, all right. - Not bad, though. - It's not bad. - I shop at Bill. - Are you asking me if I agree or disagree with it? - Yeah. - Well, that's a different question. - I shop at Bill Burlington's Ginger Conte Factory. - I'm gonna say put it on the list. - All right. Ferda Bacchoths, Dean Cherlison, lump sum of cum in your mom. - I like the rhyme. - Just saying chicken finger. - Victim of a bad night in Paris. Okay. Dominique Bouchapanchital, Ridgewood AKA where the wild dings are. Okay. Monica Bluinsky 42. - Wow. - There we go. - Yeah, look at that. - Tap, listen to all the freebies. So here's your Schmeckles, you Frisbee Fox. - Drex for that. - So the kid just had to join the Patreon. - That's what happens, folks. - The kid was like, I need more and he came. - I lost my Frisbee at a German summit camp. It is Fattit Isch. - Funny, funny walked in and one. - All I want is to be cracked open and cleaned out for Christmas. Okay, there you go. And she looks like a piece. Noah, Eddie Polowski. Squeak piece. - Eddie Polowski? - Eddie Polowski. - I think this is a Polish kid. Because Polowski's a good, yeah. - Yeah. - Chris Horsoko. Squeak piece too short to talk between my cheeks. - Okay. - Kaylee Santoro, John Ferguson. My tiny peen only works well in the Philippines. - Put 'em on the list. - Okay, there you go. You know what they, you know, it's like kind of, - Right. - It's all relative, right? - Right. - Yeah. - If you're five foot nine kid. - Right. - And you go to Mexico. - Your piece got bigger. - You're a tall kid. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And we'll come at night. - Okay. - Sergeant Glugon Thompson, AK, Lee Roy Frisbee, the Reich. Lee Roy Drexler, straight to the back to each chicken fingers. - Just add four to eight. - And walk their way. - They're creative, it just won't, yeah. Just very creative. - Very nice. Jack Castro, Ian Duffy, Dunn, Krug, Casey Galligan. Chris has got a cauliflower ass. (laughs) - Who do you want the list? - Yeah. - Very funny. - You don't have cauliflower, you're a cousin. You got cauliflower ass? - Yeah. - That's a contender. - Yeah, it's a contender. - I like it. - Yeah. - Beer, Dylan Taylor, Kevin Duval, Michael Vicks, Doggie Daycare, LLC. - A little bit of a throwback. - That's 14. - That's a good one though. Walked in one's galore. - The new Sierra months, Messina, Jizz Elaine, Maxwell, Serrardi, Rush Party, a little St. James. Michael Horton, Dallas Cridle, Steve Zimmerman, not related to George. John Cruz, honey, hi to kids. The dog ate my blue chew. I'm not Lynne this time. I'm not lying this time. Thick and bad read, sorry. Wesley Parrish, Kristen Benbereth, Justin Poland, Jared Lyon, my mom Donnie, bath towel, is shaping my armpits. Schlitsy Karnscherren's company. - Screwed in. - Yeah, there you go. Arby's roast beef that fell on a barbershop floor. George Glassopoulis. - Do we miss something there? - It's a pussy. - Hmm, yeah. - Okay. But what does that mean fell on a barbershop floor? - Got it. - I don't have hair on it. - Got it, it's a pussy that has hair. - Got it. - Okay, got it. Got it, creative. - Creative. - George Glassopoulis. Don't make me laugh, I'll come. Bulacol Lorenzo, AJ Holley. Number one, Diddy supporter, Marlene Wei-Shan-Sian. - All I want for Hanukkah is the West Bank. - Lada 14. - I'm gonna list it. - All right. - Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna just have funny factor. - JP Rabino, Timmy, Christian Parker, Kweef Smellington, Neo Ramos, Edward Orsoko, Kate Humalek, and then we got Sydney Sweeney. Please, chimney sweep. My Frisbee meat like a ziti. - Almost. - Almost. - Can we go up a little more? Or what do you think? - I think we need a few more. - The list is a little weak. So a little weak. - A few more, but okay, but here's the thing about the list being weak so far is again, you never know like it's like getting in the playoffs. What seat are you? Somebody might win today, that wooden of one on another, but it's just, you gotta get a win to get to the finals. - That's right. Like they say in life, you need a little skill, you need a little luck. - Yeah, what it is. Donnie T. Zamboni Ice Ding Removal Service. - Okay, Jesus Christ. - It's a Drexler. - It's not that bad, so it's a Drexler. Victor Canala, Sean Chipsisqueak, Dean Charlton, big gay Jokerson instead of big Jokerson. Chicken finger for sure. - Reading Moby Vagina on opposite day. - Instead of Moby Dick. - Yeah, okay. - I don't. - Nick's got a face like he, Jesus Christ. - Okay, yeah, yeah, fuck. 'Cause he wrote IO and, fuck, that was, I mean, he, that was an affquaret, shot it, and 'cause you weren't even in the goal. - Yeah, you weren't even in the goal for that. - Yeah, I don't know what I was doing. - 'Cause you were out on the ice. - That's a crazy one, right? - Latin 14. - Straight up, I don't know how that would go, I'd buy it. - Yeah, I mean, 'cause when you read it. - 'Cause sometimes it was so blatant, I think it just fooled you. - Well, because they wrote Iona, I-O-N-A. - Oh, that's Iona. Yeah Could be his name. That's how he slipped it by it. It's what it is Nick's got a face like he can you guys get this creative about the other ones? Yeah, why the most creative ones ones we can't use because it's It's fun for them. Hey, Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn ice Dodgers Contender S.C. Then we got since my genius is going on notice Leroy Leroy Leroy glue gun fun in my honey, but mom Donnie's cut off. Sorry, yeah Eric tiles dysfunction when he sees lady Leroy Ding to my colored Volkswagen from the hall hit Leroy Had some bad Chinese food call me something Wang Way so she ain't good dead there. Okay. Yeah Chris Wiggles his Tushy in the towel dry D. Stefano Secret agent monkey Okay, welcome to the Brian Bridges Ed blinder Ryan Millard Erica P. Lobs Chrissy Dean Brandon Graves Chris Kevin Beck elf on the shelf a.k.a the Christmas Cuck Ben Nikki Nick recount the votes Kamala is my master in Dingo bills. Okay Nate Anderson Elizabeth triolo. I signed up, but I still put my towel into my armpits Married in a rape a monkey and our fumes are fabuloso. Put them on the list. There it is very creative very creative very creative Dan Derek Callahan Peter Mintern Hannah Overey shop use golf clubs at bk big golf.com Oh, yeah, bk big golf.com screwed in screwed in mad dog Okay, and Frank's diary a.k.a. Horton. Here's a Jill Ways on she ain't Jesus Christ Jesus Christ It's a guilt laugh. Yeah, okay. Oh, that one got me good curious to know if did he has any leftover glue from the Leroy Gigolo asking for a friend and then last but not least the dead hooker buried under the dome at Saul Joltz put them on the list. Okay, yeah All right, so it turned out to be we made a good executive decision by reading that last page Okay All right, so here we go. Are we ready? Yeah, the end Frank one got me good. Okay All right, so here we go My wife divorced me and drained my 401k after she found that I used the bathroom sink as a urinal We're gonna Drex or that okay any other day I shop at Bill Burlington's ginger confactory keep it around all right All I want for Hanukkah is the West Bank We're gonna chicken finger it all right very funny though Chris has gone a cauliflower ass Keeping it around okay My tiny peen only works in the Philippines We're gonna Drexler it all right um Nick's got a face like he placed for the Brooklyn ice Dodgers we're keeping that one around what it is Had some bad Chinese food to call me some ting Wong we can keep it around why did it actually pretty strong list Married in an apple monkey and her fumes are fabuloso we got to keep it around sure Meredith as well and then we got the dead hooker buried under the dome at Saul Joltz It's inside, but I love it. What do you want to do with it? Is there a really dead hooker there? No But it's just funny. I've got the dome and you know, I don't think it's gonna win though. Yeah But I think you know the thing about Saul Joltz is is he's kind of like Lenny from advice and men sure So I think he there's a chance he could got a hooker and he gets so like probably a 60-year-old one sure And he got too excited he squeezed her it's what it is And he might have just buried her under the maybe that's why he's doing the outdoor shows Yeah, then flip that hover up the dead that hooker. It's pos it's very possible you put the stage here So it's like you can't dig there You know, I put this dome there. It's a hundred percent and there's absolutely no shot when we go to his wedding That he's not gonna give us food on paper plates But do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I could see him getting a little too excited. It's squeezing the rabbit and too hard Yeah, yeah, just what it is But what do we want to do? Do we want him? It's inside. It's inside. It's Saul Joltz. It's in the Brexley All right. Yeah, all right. So here we go Here are the contenders. I shop at Bill Burlington's ginger confactory Married in an apple monkey and her fumes are fabulous. So next got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn ice Dodgers Contender had some bad Chinese food call me something long. That's a contender. Chris has got a cauliflower ass We're gonna we're gonna we're gonna chicken finger that cauliflower ass out. It's a good one though. Okay, so you're out You do got a lot of like warts and shit. I have skin tags on my eyes and asterisks Okay All right, I'm gonna need help with this one place Okay, so next got a face that you place for the Brooklyn ice Dodgers. You want to keep that? That's got to stay Had some bad Chinese food call me something long The only reason why I really good. It's good But the only reason why is I think it possibly could be unoriginal I think possibly could be something like Right like you you heard it before so then it's out. We're gonna we got it. We got it. We got a Drexler Yeah, married in an apple monkey and her fumes are fabulous. So that's got to stick around. Yeah That's got to stick you around and then I shop at Bill Burlington's ginger cunt factory It's funny, but it's not gonna win. It's not gonna win. It's inside. He's talking about it's bill. Yeah, okay, so now clearly between Married in an apple monkey and her fumes are fabulous So or next got a face like you place for the Brooklyn ice Dodgers Which is inside which is it was making something old new yes Your father said I had a face like I played for the Brooklyn Dodgers right and now this person is saying that Nick looks like he plays for the ice Dodgers So this is why I'm leaning towards that and it's for that reason. We had some sort of ice Dodgers before - yeah, remember But this one is doing Nick's face right and plays for the ice Dodgers and he's calling back Sure, which means he's a longtime fan so because he knows that my father told you that so in my opinion Shout out to the fabulous so because that's really smart But I I'm gonna go with the long term fan on that one. Jesse. Do you agree? Yes? 100% yeah, Nick hasn't had one yet I think he should yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now Nick. Do you agree? I agree and both of them are celebrating Latino heritage So there you go. You can't go wrong and Nick's got one where I think Jesse got Jesse's Mossad handler. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. It was the one that won. Yeah, so congratulations You are the ppw will see your name up in lights at history hyenas is back.com Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn ice Dodgers patreon.com slash history hyenas. We are here every single week for you Episode going to continue right now over at the patreon