In this episode, comedian Jeremiah Watkins joins us. Also Rudy Povich has the news and we'll do that right after this. Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean girls. Side up. I'm the key in the world. And so much more for show chimes. Press nothing. They're free 24/7. That is so effects. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Corolla show. Adam's guest today. comedian Jeremiah Watkins. Plus the news with Rudy Povich, and now Adam Corolla. Yeah, get it on, got to get it on the choice, but to get it on, man, they get it on. Thanks to an end, thanks to old friend. We love that about you. Jeremiah Watkins, stand up comedian, filmmaker, actor, back in the studio. See, when were you here last? Yeah, been a minute, a few years, I think. Yeah, yeah. You're looking down, yeah. Yeah, gonna be back. Over times. Yeah. Yeah, Crazy Pizza, name of his specials out on his YouTube channel. It's very funny. I listened to all of it last night. Oh, awesome. Thanks for checking it out. Yeah, I tell people, you know, you watch a standup special, but you don't really need to watch it. You can listen to it. Yeah. And I went on a walk for about an hour and 10 minutes last night. I just said, I'll just put it in the earbuds and walk. Great. And it was great. I've been here. It's a good listen, too. In a weird way, I think you get a little more the material when you're just listening. Sure. And I'm very physical. So there's an infamous story with, they wouldn't, originally they didn't want to put Steve Martin on some record labels because he was such a visual act. Right. And then his numbers were, obviously, he went crazy platinum and stuff. And they're like, you have any more of those visual guys? Yeah, it is kind of interesting with the arrow through the head and all that kind of stuff. And then you picture how that would translate into a vinyl out. Back in the day. Yeah. You know, you know, I'll go back, but you can look it up, Andrew. Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy, you may be too young to know those names. Yeah, I don't know. It was your Candace Bergen, the actress. Candace Bergen, no. That's her dad. Okay. He's a ventriloquist. All right. He was. And Charlie McCarthy was the name of his puppet and they started on radio, which is, I think all of us could be a ventriloquist on radio. Radio, yeah. Not a problem. I could even drill this tomorrow on the radio. Yeah. Right. So they did Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy started as, he as an Edgar Bergen is a ventriloquist on the radio. So I guess you'll call theater of the mind. I don't, I don't know, but it could work. If it could work for Edgar and it could work for Steve Martin. Do you think there's any radio ventriloquist acts that got hired to do a live act later? They're like, we gotta, we gotta get our stuff together. Yeah. That's so funny. Well, you didn't actually even have to bring the dummy. Yeah. If you're doing it on the radio. Just make it up. It's right over here. The other guy didn't even need to be you. Jeremiah, you could beat the mic dummy. Exactly. How are you doing, Charlie McCarthy? Well, wait, you gotta talk. I don't have, I'm saying I don't have to do both ends. I, I was miming being the puppet for a second. Oh. Yeah. Hey. Oh, hey. Hey, it's me. Hold on. I'm going to drink a glass of water while you sing the star-spangled banner. Go ahead. Oh, dear, you say, oh, dear, no, no, no. I'm excellent. It was always, a lot of the drugs, they always have that, that kind of thing where you can still kind of hear that they're clenching though. But they're trying to keep their, they're, hey, hi, John. Yeah, they do, they do the clinch. Yeah. They do the, the face you do when they put the swab up your, your re-threat. Yeah, exactly. Is it? No, I'm definitely not talking to the puppet right now. There are a couple of guys who just basically talk. Like they go, I'm a ventriloquist, but my mouth is just flappy. Oh, yeah. Like I'm not even trying. They're not even trying to conceal it at all. No, I mean, look, we all know the game. Yeah. Materials material. I'm going to fucking move my mouth. Right. Right. Right. Right. Did Edgar Bergen start on the radio and how far back does he go? And that is Candace Bergen's dad. And then Candace Bergen is still alive because she used to host SNL all the time back in the day in the 70s. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, you must be a historian for SNL. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yes. Well, she's like a funny comedic actor, but she was beautiful. Mm-hmm. And she did live shows then the radio, right, but that whole point is ventriloquism on the radio. I mean, also, by the way, it's not like people back then when fucking, I'm either going to watch Netflix or you porn, they're like, this all you got, bitch. No, no. You're being shoveled in that content, right? It's 1937. Yeah. You got it. You can go watch "The Grass Grows" or you can listen to a ventriloquist on the radio. Yeah. And I'm choosing ventriloquism on the radio. That's right. First radio performance in 1936. And I said 37. Right. I'm guessing, but you can be accurate in your guessing. Are there any recordings? Oh, man. That'd be so cool to see. Of that. Well, you're not going to see anything, but you will hear something. Well, you know, we're talking about visualizing audio. And also. Candace Bergen is hot. And also Candace is a weird name for someone who's born in, like, 51 or something, you know what I mean? It sounds a little bit more modern. It sounds a little more modern. And then also was the ventriloquist getting the hot models? Because, you know, you need a model to produce that hot bond, right? So that means you're at the top of your powers as a ventriloquist. Back when ventriloquist, puppeteers, jugglers used to pull tail. Yeah. You know what I mean? Do you think that, like, whenever he was hooking up with different women, that he would ever throw his voice into, like, a pussy to make a tie up, and they're like that? Yes. For sure. I mean, that's a skill set, right there. It's all right. It's all right. He'd probably do the senior wences there. Right. All right. Do we have a clip of him on the radio? Sounds like it was recorded yesterday. It sounds like, uh, this is Jason Feng and I, and this is Donna Michi, giving you the one of the grandest act of the-- Donna Michi. Constance Bennett. And for one of our outstanding young baritones, Mr. Raymond, it is true for very rest of this WC series, "Durgy Lemur, Edgar Bergen, and Charlie McCarty, and Gwynne Jensen, America's Love." People used to be happy. Oh, yeah. This song is called "From Wake Up and Live," or "Bubbling Over." All right. Now, Andrew, you're going to have to fast forward to Charlie and Edgar. And his--Cannis Bergen must still be alive because you would have heard about it if she was dead. I think so. Yeah. Um, so, the stand-up special, you talk a lot about your life, it's relationships, marital, you know, status and situations. Does your wife get pissed off about it at all? Because it's a little revealing, a little intimate. Some of the bits. There's a few revealing bits. Yeah. We--I get to a place where sometimes I'll test some stuff out in front of an audience and then if it starts to get kind of cooking, then I have a talk with my wife like, "Hey, this bit is starting to work. I want to--before I explore it too much, are you okay with me kind of talking about this kind of stuff?" Yeah. And then, by the way, just to, you know, historically, a lot of guys have done the smelly pussy routine. So I don't do anything like that. I know. I'm just-- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want you to pitch it that way. And, honey, I got this new bit that's really working in your expense. Did. So, and there's kid talk, too, where sometimes wives are like, "What the--what's with the kids?" You know. Sure. Sure. But then, you get into this, which is like her family's in town, you're the hyenas. They insist they want to come out and see you that night, and you've got to curtail that act. Well-- Or not. I early on in the relationship, I kind of made a point to not change anything.
for parents were coming. Well, that's it. I mean, I like that proclamation. That'd be like me going early on, I made myself a promise to never pay for dinner if your parents came to stay with us, but that's my proclamation. Right, right. That's not really their proclamation. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can make that promise to yourself, but it still does mean they're not pissed off when they're sitting in the audience. Sure. Which, there's a chance that they have been over the years because there is some, you know, there's some talk about intimacy with my wife, which is their daughter and stuff like that, but I think it's never like fully, it's never like a negative thing about my wife. It's still like in a positive light, even if it's talking about, you know, there's a bit in the special about my wife reluctantly giving me an angry blowjob, you know? Like, that is a bit that's very real that I have women come up to me after the show that are like, that was my favorite bit. It is very, very funny bit. Yes. She's like, they go, I relate to it so much. We've all been there as women. So I try to, even if I'm discussing something that is more intimate, it's still never like, like fully a negative thing, if that makes sense. No, I, no, I get it. It's just, I've been in that position where the nephews or the whoever's are coming to the show and then I gotta go, I'm not gonna do that bit, you know, that jack off into the ceiling fan bit, you know, like, I'm not gonna do that one. I've got enough stuff, I don't have to do that stuff. Right. They just curtail it a little bit. I'm told that the old time radio shows on YouTube that the, that the sound is too shitty. Well, maybe we can try hearing a little of. Okay. So, Charlie? Yes, it was, it was, yes. It was such a nice song. And Mr. Eddie, it's such a fine voice. And you're such a nice fellow, Mr. Michi. And it's so near Christmas. Thank you. And you're such a nice boy, Charlie. Yeah, amitai, I try to be goodly. Yes, Charlie, you've tried, but I don't think you've quite succeeded. Now, Megan. What have I done now? Well, I, I would like to have you explain why all that racket happened downstairs in the sitting room last night. A racket, thank you? Yes. Oh, it's a sound. Yes, I heard a table, racket, didn't you? Well, no, I guess I was so busy making it, I didn't listen. Well, again, I wouldn't bring the puppet, if I were him, into the studio. I mean, I think he's method at that point. I get that. I'm a character guy who do a lot of characters and stuff. Sometimes it helps to just have, even if it's not for the audience, sometimes it is helpful for you just to be like, okay, I'm not looking at, it's a thing that they did with like Transformers and stuff like that, where they had to put at least some kind of tennis balls or something for them to make eye contact. You know what you're saying? Huh. I'll tell you what you're saying. Man, I believe this. Every time a celebrity throws out a first pitch, they throw a shitty first pitch out, right? Yeah. Now, I played a ton of baseball. I threw a first pitch out. It was kind of a shitty first. It was fine, but it was not, I could play baseball. Being on the pitchers' mound and not having a mitt in your other hand, fucks you up. Now, what do you need the mitt for? It's not gonna, it's not gonna be a come backer. You need the balance of the mitt. And it's just the motor skills that you've refined from being a baseball player over the years. Yeah, that's what you're saying with the, with the dummy. Yeah. The dummy they were recording in front of an audience. Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay. That changes stuff. Speaking of that, how about a ventriloquist dummy that's a baseball mitt? Ta-da. Ta-da. Put a little lipstick on it. Come on, throw a heater today. Come on up. You know, I'm tripping balls on acid right now. Um. All right. So. Oh, so it was a lot. So it was when radio shows would do live performances in front of an audience. But I would still argue that the theater has 700 people in it and the radio audience is five million people who don't get to, who don't get to see it. Edgar Bergen, Charlie McCarthy radio show was recorded in front of a live studio audience. Which helped create a genuine last reaction. And Candace Bergen's still alive. All right. Um. So people go to YouTube to see where did you record it? Recorded it at the comedy vault in Batavia, Illinois, it's like an hour outside Chicago. And did the whole, I mean, you funded the thing, right? Yeah. So you did the set dressing and all that. Yeah. We hired an amazing set designer and a stupid task as a name. He's based out out of the Midwest. And then my buddy, Chris McMillan was our director of photography and I directed it. And we just had a bunch of people who have worked with over the years that I've clicked with and done different shoots with and kind of brought them all together to make this happen. Now I was watching it and walking and then not watching it and walking. And then watching it and walking as you do with your phone when you're walking sometimes. I would have held it up in front of my face the whole time, but hand to God, the last time I did that. I was looking at Matt Walsh's or what is a woman or whatever and they said, he's coming on the next day. You should watch it. And I literally with two earbuds in at night in the middle of the summer, just walking down the sidewalk, holding the phone like in front of my face. And I heard like a noise, like an off-putting noise or something on the sidewalk. And I stopped. I looked down. There was a huge rattlesnake at my feet. What? At my feet. Literally on the middle of the sidewalk, that way it was so hot that night that it slithered down the hill. And I literally almost stepped on a rattlesnake in Malibu in modern times. And I was like, when I walk at night, I'm not going to hold that phone right in front of my face anymore. That'll scar you pretty quick. Step on another rattlesnake. But your box. Have you ever opened the fridge, stared into it for five minutes and somehow convinced yourself there's nothing to eat? I love knowing that I already have protein sitting right in my freezer. That's exactly why but your box has become part of my routine. But your box delivers 100% grass-fed beef, organic chicken, wild-caught seafood, and more. All source to standards they can actually tell you about. They've already done the research and done the tough sourcing decisions. So all you have to do is decide what's for dinner. It's a little like having the neighborhood butcher. Everyone wishes they still had. So whether you're grilling for friends or feeding your family on a Tuesday, you've already got great protein ready to go. I love coming home with a show, knowing I got that big rib eye defrosting and not having to think about it at all. It's put your box, right, Dawson? If you're looking for an easier way to get great meals on the table, we'll give butcher box a try. Go to butcherbox.com/atom to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free rib eye, New York strip, or filet mignon in every box for a year with free shipping always. This butcherbox.com/atom again, that's butcherbox.com/atom. Be sure to use our link so they know we sent you. Ethos. My parents didn't have life insurance, and they left me high and dry. Well, I did get the Tony Bennett CD from my dad. Look, I don't want to do the same with my family and luckily, ethos makes getting life insurance fast and easy 100% online. You can get a quote in seconds, apply in minutes and get same day coverage. There's no medical exam. You just answer a few simple health questions. You can get up to three million in coverage. Some policies are as low as 30 bucks a month and you'll get the lowest rate from their network of trusted carriers. It's ethos, right, Dawson, take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through ethos. Get your free quote at ethos.com/atom. That's ETHOS.com/atom application times may vary, rates may vary. So I was looking at your special, and I don't think I saw any audience cut away. So though, I don't. I didn't show the audience on purpose the whole time. That's interesting and probably good, but interesting. Why? The reason why we didn't shoot the audience at all, because a lot of comedy specials do incorporate that, is I'm kind of known from my base of people who support me as somebody who riffs a lot. I have a show called Stand Up on the Spot that you've done in the past that you're asking for audience suggestions and they yell stuff out and you create stand up on the spot, base off the audience's suggestions. And so much of my stuff of content that I regularly put out that's riffing or crowdwork heavily involves the crowd. And I wanted this to feel so different, and I wanted people to focus on the jokes, focus on the material, and focus on me, and judge me just solely on that, and it has nothing to do with the crowd. And nobody showed up. But… No. No. I get it. It didn't bump me. It was only now that I thought, "Oh, I don't remember." It was very intentional. Very intentional. That's good. It worked. Thank you. [BLANK_AUDIO]
So I'm glad to hear you, you do a lot of voices and you don't come across as a impressionist, but you end up doing a fair number of impressions. Sure. I need to, I'm working on my corolla. I need to work on my corolla. Oh God. Could you please? I'm trying. I'm trying. Get a little bit more of it. Ah. I can keep talking. I can keep talking. It's a little off right now, but it's getting close. It's getting close. It's getting. It's a side. You got to watch out because you'll drift into Gilbert Godfrey. Well here is something that I thought you would appreciate and it just made me laugh. Jay Moore was in here who does a lot of funny impressions and we were doing our beat it out podcast and we kind of stumbled. He started in with his Andrew Dice Clay character. Oh, great. Yeah. Funny, but it morphed into Andrew Dice Gay and I'll play a few minutes of that. Dice, you see that movie cruising? Fucking love cruising. With the bandanas. Yeah. I don't know all the bandanas and what they mean. Like what is the white bandana? That bandana means I surrender getting my ass. This is what I do. I buy the whole fucking tree of bandanas. I walk in the club like it's a joust and I let them know anything fucking goes with Andrew Dice Gay. So the brown one. Brown one means shit on your dick. All right. Yeah. Red one. Give me a little Abraham Lincoln hat right on the head. Oh, really? Yeah. Turquid chips, baby. So the white one is surrender. I surrender. Oh yes. Yeah. And then the blue one. Blue one means choke me until I almost fucking die. Oh, really? Yeah. So big dick. So big. So blue is choke me through dick. Blue is I can't breathe. There's so much cock in me. And then brown is a shit on my head. Brown is the little Abraham Lincoln hat on the tip of your dick. Your little chocolate chips on your fucking dick. What's that smell? Get back to work. Don't worry about it. And why does you see down your sheets? Serenading your ass. Yeah. I'm scared to ask what yellow is. Yellow is piss-free. OK, piss-free. Yeah, I'd rather be pissed down than Lugidon. I would, but in a good day, I get both. Yeah. Oh, spit dripping off my fucking brow. Piss all over my ass and ankles. Andrew Dice Gay. Yeah. I like this. Let me suck it. Oh. Hickory dickory duck. Let me suck on your cock. Jack and Jill went up the hill and I came down with it. Oh. Oh. About Old King Cole. Old King Cole had a giant black cock and he put it inside my ass. King. This is. Old King Cole had a fucking hog on her. This is. Andrew Dice Gay. Andrew Dice Gay. I've been teasing this for six years, you fucking mummy. Uh. We're all in the steam room. Let's see some cock. The clock strikes two. They don't let me dump my goo until I clean every last one in a sock. Oh. I don't get to come. I'm a beta. What about the three blind mice? The three-blown mice. Three-blown mice. But they're still gonna find my asshole. It's wide open waiting for mouse cock. What about the old lady who lived in a shoe? She made me fuck all their kids. Oh. Yeah. Girl, dudes? Nah, eight boys. Eight boys. I kept fucking at the mom. Oh my God. She fucking lined them up and said if you want this shoe, you gotta turn everyone's ass into leather. Stretch that leather out. Ah. Yeah. She's cherished bad, Andrew. What happened to Rumpel Stiltskin? Oh, you had a huge cock. It wasn't hard. It got all crinkly and rumpel. I had a got all rumped on it. We had enough of Andrew Diceky. Hey. It made me laugh. It made me laugh. That's great. I wasn't gonna play it when I entered Victor Davis Hanson. I mean, years ago, it was-- Years ago at the store, Dice popped in and bumped some people and I did a-- there's a first time I'm seeing Jay. He had to do an Andrew Dice gay but I had to follow Dice in the OR and I did an Andrew Dice gay. Does it rip that high? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the original room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He bumped some people. Yep. How do you feel about the bumping of people? You know, if it's-- I think there's a way to do it and I think that if you are gonna bump people like you're popping in, like if you're sticking to 10 to 15, I get it. But when people bump and they do like an hour, I'm like, do you really need to work on an hour on a pop-in spot? Right. That's kind of crazy to me. Right. Yeah. And at some point, they start doing crowd work and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. What even doing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's-- that's just an ego self-stroke at that point. Yes. Agreed. So you went on after Andrew and did some Andrew Dice gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember what any of that was? I mean, it's such a general character, literally some of the Hickory Diggery Dog, why don't you come suck on my cock? Like that was literally like one of the things I said. Wow, I didn't know there was a predecessor. No. I mean, it's like my thing is a very simple premise and I'm just like, he happened to come in that night and I had to follow him and I'm like, how am I gonna follow him? Was he doing Andrew Dice clay? He was-- yeah, but not turned up like fully, it was like a more subdued dice. It wasn't like, oh, the way up here, you know? Right, right. Yeah, he's like, he was still smoking. He still did the thing, lit it up as soon as he got on stage, yeah. Oh. Yeah. My theory with him who smokes, but certainly Dave Chappelle, Dave Chappelle, I don't even believe smokes. I think he only smokes on stage and he dares someone to tell him to put it out. Yeah, just to-- just to go, a bitch. Established dominance, like-- yes, I'm alpha smoker. Yeah. Like, because what he'll do is he'll walk out on stage and then he'll light the cigarette right out on stage, which is like-- and then you're doing routines. Like you can't-- if you want to enjoy a cigarette, go to the bathroom or go to the green room or go to the alley behind the theater, do 10 minutes before the show and enjoy a cigarette. You light a cigarette. You see these people back in the day. They'd go on the tonight show with Johnny Carson. They'd light a cigarette and then they'd be telling a story. They're never able to smoke the cigarette. Right. Like, you can't enjoy your cigarette. You're talking too much. You're performing the entire time. It's more like an accessory at that point. It's all an accessory. Yeah. Chappelle in a world where there's no smoking anywhere at any time, I think he walks out under that stage and lights that cigarette to let everyone know who's fully in charge. Sure. Like, the goat has arrived. I'm here. Yes, because if George Clooney walked out there and lit a cigarette, they were telling to put it out. You think so? Yes. I do. I do. No, I think if Trump did it, they tell him to put it out, like, I don't know. I don't know that that's happening. Do you think somebody's going to walk up to Trump and they're going to tell him to put a cigarette. He's going, no, you're gay, no one from his, no, thank you, not from his cabinet, right? But someone who was the stage manager of the theater, I don't think anybody has the, would have the balls to do it. I think they would do it. I think they do it to Clooney. I think they do. I think they would do it to Batman, I think they'd be excited about doing it to Trump. I think they'd like doing it to Trump. Maybe. I mean, who's going to do it to Chappelle? The answer is not he's the top. So how many other guys now Snoop Dogg could probably light up a doobie. Of course. They're not going to stop Snoop Dogg. There's no way. But somebody, I'm trying to think there was a story once. Yes. So some people, I think in this particular case, it helps to be black because it then becomes a hate crime to go out and tell that guy to put it out. I think it's, I think you think he's leaning into the black for that? I think there's certain advantages where people don't want to come up and police you because it can be mistaken for racism. Oh. You see what I'm saying? Something we'll never know about. No, because no one will ever tell Snoop Dogg to put out a joint. I would say if you told your average stage manager, go out and tell George Clooney to put it out versus Dave Chappelle to put it out, they'd be more reluctant with Chappelle because there's overtones of other elements of race and whatever in there. I don't think Clooney, I think Clooney would be told to put it out. I think Trump would. Well also, Chappelle is an assassin with his words though. That's something to be concerned about as like if you are going to approach somebody like that, especially if they're on stage in the moment and literally at the top of their game, he can make whatever funny or just literally make it a slam dunk contest on whoever is approaching it. Yeah, you got to think about that.
that. I mean, he's holding the microphone. Yeah. But he is able to smoke in theaters that I just feel like the next week Nate Barcazzi rolls into town if he likes to cigarette someone's going to tell him to put it out. I think they'd be so shocked. Oh, they might watch him for 30 seconds and then someone would go, come on, we got to, you know, fire marshals here and do it. Yeah. All right. You can check out Barcazzi's movie. I didn't actually. No, I didn't, I didn't catch it. Well, then I guess we should just cut this interview short. Are you in it? No, I'm not. I watched it on the airplane. I like Nate, but I don't know. The whole thing with the dad who's inept in 2025. Here's like a, kind of like a, a throwback, kind of like a throwback, kind of a 90s movie. It is, I'm maybe, maybe just as a dude, I may be protesting too much, but the constant beating of the drum of the mother goes out of town and now the guy has to make breakfast for the kids. So he whips up the pancake batter and dumps it into the toaster and then the fire erupts like I just don't feel like guys are that inept. And if they were, why are the greatest chefs in the world all dudes? If we can't do anything, like the reality is, is I can cook. I just, I don't like it. I don't really want to do it. But if I'll make fucking kids eggs, it's like it's not a big deal. You're a dad. You can work around the kitchen. I mean, you're starting fires. You know, I make mac and cheese real good, man. Real good. I've got a few dishes that are my go-to. What are you? And by the way, he couldn't do laundry. He had to take everyone's clothes to the yard and burn it in the mood. Really? Yeah, but I guys can do laundry. Guys go off to college. I do laundry not well necessarily, but I know how to do it. Yeah. Yeah. What's your go-to dishes? I mean, it's a, I do it. I'm a sandwich dad all the way. Oh, really? Yeah. Good at making sandwiches. What is your go-to? Just a lot of, you know, some turkey, some ham, potentially some roast beef, layers, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes. Are we mixing up those meats? Wow. Sometimes roast beef has to be its own animal. It's its own thing. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. So what's a good sandwich for you? Turkey, ham, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and mustard. I'll put some salt and pepper on the tomatoes and dependent on how much crunch there is. I might add some chips inside the sandwich. Wow. Yep. Where are we in the cheese department? Gotta be at least one to two to two types of cheese, for sure. Multiple cheese types. Multiple cheeses. Prove alone in the mix? I like Prove alone too. I do like an American or sharp cheddar, typically, but yeah, but Prove alone tastes really good too. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I like great. Now what kind of bread and do we toast it? Oh, if it's a special occasional toasted, but I'm not putting in the extra effort. This sounds like a lot for your kids. Are you doing this for your kids? Yeah, it's just for me. Good. It's just for me, man. Yeah, they get miracle whips spread on their tongue with a flip flop. Exactly. See a bitch? I'm giving them a spoonful of peanut butter and sending them on their right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is something, there is a for play to making a sandwich. Oh, yeah. That the actual time it takes is actually part of the experience. Oh, I'm building hunger up. I'm celebrating while I'm prepping it. Yes. Yes. And I'm not like this with other food. Other food, I'm like, I don't care. I just want it to get to me, but there's a ritual with the sandwich is a little bit calming sometimes. I agree. It's also probably self soothing, like you're doing something for you. This sandwich is for you and it's going to be good because you deserve it and you bought all the ingredients through your hard work. It's like our manicure. Yeah, women going to get like their toes done or their hands done. It is our manicure. It's our petty. I always say that to women like, I don't know, isn't it weird? You have these little Asian women scrubbing your feet. It's like, no, I like it. It's like, I know, but it seems like we're in some sort of surf system or something. This little poor woman pushing your cuticles around while you talk on your phone, you know, and they're like, I'm uncomfortable with the process of it. Sure. But they like it because of the process of it. So, I think you're on to something here. The women with the manning the petty, it's a pretty doable thing. First off, it's unnecessary, but secondly, even if it is necessary, you can certainly do it yourself. But you like the idea that this person is doing this for you. Women do this. I've discovered this. The dress with the train on it. What's practical about dragging 40 feet of cloth behind you? I'll tell you what's good about it. Other women have to hold it up and walk behind you. Yes. You are the main attraction. Stay out of the shot, bitch. Hold the train. Come on in. We're moving again because of Esquire magazine. What's it? Not with your fat ass in the shot though. You clear out. Put the train down. Get your fat ass out of the shot. Take another shot. Now, help pick up the train again and walk super slowly behind me. Okay. They like it. Yeah. And what do guys have? We have sandwiches. We have coattails. Coattails. That other people can ride on. That's who we are. You understand? That's why we get paid more. Sure. Hop on back there. Hop on. I will drag you to success. Yeah. Instead of, hey, bitch. But know who's the boss. Get out of the picture. You can ride on our coattails. Yeah. I did get a foot massage in Australia though. Uh-huh. 10 bucks for 10 minutes. And it was great. A foot, you know, the foot massage, people forget about the scalp massage. He's scalp massage. All the time spent on the shoulders and the neck. Uh-uh. Get up. Let's get some scalp work in. Let's get some foot work in. Yeah. I agree. So the sandwich is the man he petty for dudes. Yep. It's our time. You're not in a hurry because there's nobody else to make a sandwich for. Just you. And then the four play of getting out all the ingredients and kind of spread them out and surveying them. I mean, I'll even like when I go to a deli and someone will make a sandwich for me and I'm like, could I? What about that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We had that. Yep. You know, no, I just did it. Yeah. Just, uh, extra tomato. I don't mind. A guy me being a cuck for my sandwich, you know. Yeah. He's making it. No, just stand there. That's why it's always that clear glass that's always in front of the sandwich. Because you have to observe, man. Yeah. You got it. You got to supervise. And then, uh, I'm usually, I'm, I'm just everything. You know, they go. You want me? Yep. Yeah, mustard. Absolutely. How about the vinegar? Yeah. How about the oil and the vinegar? A portion of that going extra on you, Mr. Spine, with the tomato. He could go as banana peppers. Let's do a little extra provalone on there. Yeah. Yep. Yep. The best. But there is the making of for yourself is a self soothing sort of healing. You've earned this, my friend. Yeah. Sort of situation. Yeah. I don't go to therapy. I make sandwiches for myself. I would say that if the average male American made it a top-notch sandwich for themselves every day, that there'd be a lot more peace in this country and a lot more self-actualized young men walking around. A lot of marriages saved. I would definitely save America. If in the middle of every argument, your wife just went, "Why don't you go make self-sandwich?" Right. You know, you're right. And when I'm done with the sandwich, I'll come back and change. That's like, let's like, like, men asking women, like, "Are you in your periods?" Like, "When was that thing you made a sandwich?" And they don't, like, like, yeah, you at the period, like, when you see the wrapper for the tampax and the toilet, but you're going to a fuck, you know? And she sees the deli meat spoiling in the fridge and she opens the crisper and the lettuce is wilted and she's like, "Fuck, this guy's made a sandwich in four months. He's going to be out of his mind." Yeah, once you make self-sandwich, that would heal it. I'll give you some tips. Tell you what I know. And then you can, you know, lay any sandwich tips you got on me. I've discovered that the avocado oil mustard tastes the same as just, I should say avocado oil mayonnaise tastes the same as regular mayonnaise. Yeah, it tastes exactly same. Can't tell the difference between just regular mayonnaise and the one with the avocado oil. Do you ever do a miracle whip? No, I don't do a miracle whip, but I do remember that for my childhood. Sure. And I get it, but it's got, it's got, it's borders on white trash, I think, for me. I'm from Kansas, yeah. Yeah, that we grew up with it. That was a staple miracle whip. And also American cheese, not for me. It's got to be cheddar or provolone? Yeah, occasionally I'll do Swiss, just to mix it up, but the cheddar and the provolone is good. If pepper jack is available, I'm getting that. I also, I will go for a bread toast when I can and I will also go for an avocado mashup. Now, don't do the avocado slices. They just squirt out when you bite it. You got to,
pulverize it then literally smooth it out and you make a Compote out of the mayonnaise the mustard and the avocado and you just make a bed of it. Oh, yeah, that's good. Oh, yeah, that's great Mm-hmm. You're making me freaking hungry right now kind of like the honey roasted turkey like the roasted turkey stuff We've got the honey stuff boars head nice sometimes I'll do a muskete turkey or mm-hmm even a cage in turkey sometimes I don't believe I've had a cage in turkey That's good. You got to open your eyes up to that and your palate Cajun turkeys fantastic mm-hmm. Get that at the store. Oh, yeah, the deli you asked for it. They always have it there I did not know all right, we're gonna end up wanting to cut it short-need so Talk about a couple other things that The specials doing good. It was like I don't know what's about a hundred thousand Yeah, in the first five days. We just crossed a hundred thousand views on YouTube, which I'm stoked for man Yeah, and the model is I mean, there's no more model anymore I guess it's just put your stuff out there have people find it self tickets and all that for sure all that kind of stuff, right? Yeah And for me what's cool about this special is In the podcast scene specifically, I'm known for a lot of different things and sometimes people aren't as aware of my stand-up So I'm excited that this special is Getting some attention in that way just because I'm known for different characters and doing different impressions or different Things like theme shows like with stand-up on the spot or roast battle or kiltoni in the past and Dr. Phil live more recently and that kind of stuff So it's yeah, I'm very excited that people are enjoying the special There's another thing I don't know I was Watching the ladies on the view And they were getting I don't even know what they're talking about anymore. They've received clips of the view of course. Yeah Well, we'll play it. It's it's the Sydney Swini back lash I mean Sydney Swini all she has to do is take her top off of wave an American flag and the whole left goes insane every time they fucking hate her so I just want you to listen to whoopie Goldberg and let's try to figure out what point she is making now Sydney Swini got involved with some sort of online gambling website or something Maybe has some sort of ownership stake in it sure and so it's a bunch of sexy pictures with her in Sporting outfits with you know baseball mitts covering her titties and things like that Yeah, they're all by the way They're male sports like she's not trying to do female sports. She's doing female sports She'd do like beach volleyball and tennis and ice skating stuff. She's doing hockey, but all right, but but listen to whoopies Whoopie gets paid millions of dollars a year to express her ideas into a microphone in a camera on TV. Let's see how she does Sydney Swini catchress Said her provocative new ad for a sports gambling site was quote Embracing about embracing a fun idea to cut through the noise and put the focus on sports But the ad is getting backlash from some female athletes like surfer Felicity Palmentier take a look Just absolute out of disbelief Incredible out of second. Where's your threshold for disbelief? This is utter despair you're disbelief like aliens landing or frogs falling from the sky That is some disbelief, but a hot blonde who basically gets paid to show her tits showing her titties off Who's an entrepreneur? This is utter disbelief for you. Really that mind blowing to you I I would be first of if Sydney Swini wasn't on a commercial every 20 minutes showing her tits and trying to make money That would be utter disbelief right for me. Where is she? Yes, it's been 20 minutes. One check on her please and for god's sake give me a sandwich I'm going through an emotional crisis here people All right, so she is utter Utter this female surfer no one's ever heard of has utter disbelief that's that the woman who Cells everything is selling something else using her sexuality I feel like when they're trying to do these hot takes on these shows They literally are looking for any athlete with somewhat of a strong opinion or whatever they're trying to cater their Views store. Yes, I know whoopee is deeply ensconced in the Australian surfing scene But she must be the only person who knows this person's name, but all right Let's listen to how problematic it is for the surfer lady. We've never heard of Make a look just absolute utter disbelief are incredibly disappointing like how she's disappointed women sports backwards in the space of a 40-second commercial The ad that we saw Sydney Swini do is very damaging especially for young females We want to be valued for what we can do not what we look like. All right. Why'd you put makeup on before you shot yourself? Lathering into a camera if it makes her feel any better. No man is thinking about female sports when they're looking at Sydney Swini and that ad Yes, and I don't know how you can set female sports back by Okay Anyway now now we get to hear Whoopee's hot take okay So Sydney Swini responded to the backlash by posting images of Serena Williams Ronda Rousey and other athletes who pose nude from magazine covers now When an athlete does it okay, it's a whole different thing because you're looking at this athlete and their athletic body and all the different muscles and stuff Ronda Rousey you so I see what her arms look like you know, that's an athlete. Yeah You're an actor who is took a gig to make some dough. I'm not mad at you I'm not mad at you, but I don't think you can put yourself on equal On equal footing with Okay, is it insane that no one knows what the fuck this bitch is talking about? Like I don't know what she's saying. What is her point? We are on equal footing with Ronda Rousey. Yeah, she's not trying to do that No, she's trying to sex it up and get dudes to gamble more I it's some point. I don't know who the segment producers are, but at some point you just gotta go there's nothing We don't have any there. I don't know what our tank is. I don't think they're checking it I think they're giving topics and they give them such free range where they're hoping that something will happen But then eventually stuff like this happens where they don't have like an actual take on well now and a Navarro is gonna have a hot take on the Sydney Sweeney situation and I but I also think we shouldn't give Sydney Sweeney who I think has She's kind of you know figured out the formula of creating outrage and monetizing that through the ads Which again, you know more power to her, but we shouldn't give her the power to determine And define the athleticism and ability of female athletes Is any of that makes sense? She's defining the ability of the William sisters on a tennis court around a rousey like We gave her the ability to define the ability The circular logic I don't even know what she's fucking talking about. Oh, it's got to it's got to keep going so keep going You know more power to her, but we shouldn't give her the power to determine And define the athleticism and ability of female athletes But I mean how many how many men she she puts she posted the pictures of female athletes would post nude How about posting the pictures of male athletes? She posted right? Yeah Oh, by the way, that's how you know there is no segment producer She's like how about she post pictures? I meant she did post us. Oh, okay. All right. That's kind of stuff would be discussed in the pre meeting sure sure All right, so we'll be says nothing. I don't I still know what a point is hot chick I know she's blonde and she has big titties and she probably votes for Trump and you hate her gods But you still have to make a point Well, I'm always ready to up my routines and recently I heard about Lorraine co Lorraine is a better for you chewing gum that uses the same mineral your teeth are made of to support daily enamel health It comes in tons of flavors including mint cinnamon bubblegum berry. I have right in front of me here I think this is mint. That's my favorite. Also, they have a really great fluoride-free toothpaste too, which actually I use I take it with me on the road. It's a little smaller fits into the case nicely and it works great. Lorraine sent me some gums. So I can't stop chewing that I basically pop one in after every meal. I like bettering myself So it feels good to do something that's passively productive It's a totally effortless way to make sure you're taking the best care of your teeth possible Am I right Dawson right now? Lorraine is offering our listeners up to 50% off at by Lorraine.com/atom That's by Lorraine l-a-r-i-n-e.com/atom for up to 50% off Home title lock American homeowners the FBI has been warning about this type of real estate fraud title, theft, and your equity. Well, that's. the target. With just the Ford signature, your ownership can be transferred out of your name. And without protection in place, you're left with emotional and financial nightmare. And that's why I partnered with home title lock. So you can find out today if you've already been a victim and you can protect yourself, use promo code, Adam at home title lock dot com to get a free title history report. Plus a free trial of their million dollar triple lock protection. That's 24/7 monitoring, urgent alerts. And if you're a victim of fraud, they'll spend up to one million dollars to fix it. Don't be a victim. Protect your equity today with home title lock, right Dawson? Go to home title lock dot com slash Adam Corolla and use promo code, Adam, to get a free title history report and a free trial of their triple lock protection for details. Visit home title lock dot com slash warranty, right? I can't just be angry at her ruining women's sports. I think it's more a high button issue that they're trying to literally just voice something and then nothing came out. Right. Yes, yes. I think this is a topic we are talking about, but we're talking about the topic. Okay, this is the topic we cover this topic. Right. Yes. I've been to the border. We've been to the border. Have you been to the board? I've not been to the border. Okay. We talked about the board. Check. Let's just skip to the end with whoopee has a summation of it. She puts a bow on the whole conversation by she ties it all up. Nicely whoopee does. Let's say the gambler. I enjoy game. Not a degenerate. A lot of people is just completely. I am a gambler. I enjoy. But not a degenerate. Well, you don't know that. You don't know. I don't mind that people that because I think adults make decisions for themselves and that's okay. Everything you're saying is right. And everything we're saying at the table is right. Sydney Swini is doing her female athletes are doing them. Let everybody do each other. But Sydney understand that when you it would be like. I don't know. I'm actually trying to put on a different face and say I'm representing this. I'm representing sports. So I think what you're doing is fine, but just know why they might be a little upset because it's taken them forever to get the respect. So that's I think what their point is. I have no idea. I don't know what she. You know, we live in a world where you and I go. Yeah, the guy went up, you know, who opened for me on the road. I didn't know the guy was a funny. I was like, yeah, I mean, it wasn't great. But he got a couple of laughs or whatever it's fine. I mean, I don't know if I'd have him open for me again, but we don't go. I don't know if the fuck that guy was talking about. Like, I don't know if anyone knew what he was talking about. I don't know what his point was. He didn't make any points. You know, I don't know what it was that he was doing. Like, I can define guys who talk about sports, guys who do comedy, guys who do political stuff. I go, I just agree with the guy. All right. I don't think he makes a great point. Sure. But I understand what he's attempting to put forward. Yeah. I don't know what what these take is on the Sydney. I still don't think they fully have clear context on any of their actual takes on it. Right. I also don't think that it's more about talking about subjects where you don't want to give your full opinion on something. Yes. Like, so you're just talking. Oh, right. She can go, listen, that white bitch with a big titties, fuck right off. I'm gonna fucking mag up for it or fuck her. Right. That's right. That's a hot take right there. So whenever someone doesn't make any sense, we like to do a thing here where we put AI, Bert Reynolds voice over. I know it sounds weird, but you can really hear how insane she sounds through the voice of Bert Reynolds, the late great Bert Reynolds. And we'll play that. This is all Wuppies dialogue verbatim from that segment. Sydney Swini actress said her provocative new ad for a sports gambling site was quote, embracing about embracing a fun idea to cut through the noise and put the focus on sports. But the ad is getting backlash from some female athletes like surfer Felicity Paman Terry. So Sydney Swini responded to the backlash by posting images of Serena Williams, Rhonda Rousey and other athletes who pose nude for magazine covers. Now, when an athlete does it, it's a whole different thing because you're looking at this athlete and their athletic body and all the different muscles and stuff. Rhonda Rousey, you see what her arms look like. You know, that's an athlete. Yeah, you're an actor who is took a gig to make some dough. I'm not mad at you. I'm not I'm not mad. I'm not mad at you. But I don't think you can put yourself on equal footing with when the female athletes do. I think it's a different thing. I am a gambler. I enjoy gambling. I don't mind that people bet because I think adults make decisions for themselves and that's okay. Everything you're saying is right and everything we are saying at the table is right. Sydney Swini is doing her. The female athletes are doing them. Sydney understand that when you, it would be like, I don't know, an athlete trying to put on a different face and say, I'm representing this. I have the I mean, the ultimate charity is whoopi Goldberg hammering checks on the show, like a person that can't form thoughts on a show called the view who doesn't have a point of view as the lead queen. You know, the idea that she's quarterbacking when she should be holding for extra points and not even field goals, like literally that they go to her, that's kind of insane, right? Yeah. It's it's it's it's weird when you think it's going to summit to something. It's it's going to end with something. And then like you play it, you know, I we've heard it twice now. Like my head just hurt after really it being broken down even further where it's a total circle and talk. And nothing move forward. Now I want to do. And I want to do a bit. And it's just going to be called view. I see veteran view camera man. And all it's going to be is all audio of them with a tight shot of me just holding a lean against camera. You're God. You're fucking God. When is it going to end yet? Oh boy, here we go. And then, you know, whoopies like goes, you know, it's a lot like and then you'd see me go, God, fuck here it is. It's a lot like what? Okay. And then me going, wrap it up, wrap it up. You're trying to light her at a TV show. Yeah. I'm trying. I got my pick out. I got my fucking flashlight out. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Cue the music. Yeah. Could you imagine the view if that was just all dudes? How long that show would last? Okay, I got a bunch of dudes who can't form thoughts. I put them together. They're angry though. It's going to be great. All right. So whoopie. Now listen, they're people who get paid more than whoopie on TV. But they also do stuff. She shows up in slippers, sits down and gibberish as everything and then gets paid and goes home. It sounds like a fun gig. It's got to be the greatest gig in television if you think about it. Well, if they're not really screening, you know, too much ahead of time. Then yeah, you're just rolling in and just kind of literally just kind of like shooting the shit. She does the show in like Uggs and sweatpants. Number one, number two, there's no way they're there two hours early for prep because they get almost everything wrong all the time. And there's no way whoopies hanging out, you know, four hours afterward. Do they have a a fact tracker on the show anytime? Because that'd be a really, that'd be another fun character on the show. Actually, a day in the corner. Well, there is, excuse me, ladies, a real quick. There is a guy who's in their ear and at some point, they're getting in here. Yeah, like at some point, they'll be like JD Vance is a rapist. He's a straight up. Allegedly, some of the things I said may allegedly, through hearsay, then this is not my opinion. Like someone got in their ear. Mr. Allegedly, it stopped saying whatever it is you're saying. Well, you got to say, you got to throw an allegedly. You can't just, you can't just call him a rapist. It's kind of problematic, it's just allegedly. Yeah, there is somebody in the earpiece.
who's going, we're gonna get sued, like for sure. Oh, you have Norm McDonald? Do you remember when Norm was on the view? - I don't know if I saw him. - Norm, just, it's like Fifth Anniversary of his death. Yeah. - I've seen this guy, lie or murder or anything like that, so it'd be good to get the, see, I don't, I think we should get the homicide out of the White House and get like a fresh duck, 'cause we don't want any more murderers. - I think we should just go on to the next question. - Oh, what's the murderers? - Yeah. - Oh, quit me, murder the guy. - Yeah, you know, we're not allowed to, you're not allowed to, but I know from accusations with that paragraph. - That's a little too far. - That's just, that's just the one to the next question. - Yeah. - This is not my week, what can I tell you? - Oh, it's not my neither, I'm being very nice, okay? (laughing) - Be a good boy, now Norm. - Do you want to hear it out? - No. - Listen, we don't need to want to get out of this. And I don't want to hear it, and this is not the place to make those accusations, and you're supposed to be funny. - Let's go on, right here. (laughing) - Make enough loud. - Yeah, go. - This is a live show. - Out of the blue. - But you have been properly chased as by Barbaralee Park. - Not going to ask the next question. - All right. - Adosie, I, 50 years will all be chicks, I think I did a passage on the view. - Gonna look for that one. - That mischievous look in his eyes is just the best. - No, knowing exactly what he's doing, and just literally being the puppet master for what's going on there. - I totally agree. Miss Norm, love watching the clips. - Love that nobody really dies anymore because you can just sit on your phone watching endless clips of them. - I just, I just do another thing. - Oh, you did. - Yeah, it's great. - Tell me. What's great about it is there's a lot of, you know, personal anecdotes and stuff, but then it goes off in parts where you're like, what is real and what's not? What is bit and what is reality. And it's great. It talks about him gambling, losing tons of money, and different parts of his life, him getting SNL, him hosting, like it covers his life and it's written through him. And I heard recently that there's an audio book version, and I want to re-listen to the book because it's so good. - And he's doing the audio? - Yeah, wow. - Yeah. - I gotta check that out. - Yeah, it's a great read. - Heat? - Oh, you got the view. - God, he told me the greatest story ever. Oh, my radio show, but go ahead, Johnson, sorry. - Here's what you said about the view. I know I'm a guy, so I'm supposed to hate the view. But I don't hate the view because I have a dick. I hate the view because I have a brain. The view is going on what feels like it's 35th season. It is numerous Emmy nominations and even an Emmy win. And it's a disjointed scattered piece of shit that's hosted by some of the least compelling, the most untalented people that have graced a television set. If this show consisted of five guys sitting around talking over each other with the occasional hackney joke, awkwardly shoe-hearned into the meaningless conversation, who would have been yanked off the air 10 years ago? Or years ago? You see, at 10 in the morning, all the smart people are at work, and that leaves the views audience. - Oh, there's more. I'll keep looking. Yeah, then there's a second page. So I'll tell you the norm story, while Dawson finds the rest of it. But Norm, you do go into every single host. I want to hear it. 'Cause I also tell you who the host was back then, sorry. - Sherry Shepard is dumb. She's read one book and it's the Bible. She's not ha ha funny. She's more, we need a fat chick who's not funny, funny. Elizabeth Hasselbeck got gets a pass. She's already being punished on a daily basis. Could you imagine if your lot in life was to be wedged between Barbara Walters and Sherry Shepard? She's the lunch meat between a stale piece of sourdough and the dumbest slab of pumper knickled ever hit the day old bin at the bakery. Who would be Goldberg? What happened to the unstoppable force of comedy that had us doubled over with spun gold, such as burglar, jumpin' Jack Flash, and Eddie? And Emmy for the view and an Oscar for Ghost, she deserved those about as much as Elvis deserved his black belt in Taekwondo. Joy Behar, she's the funny one. That's like saying Marwan Al-Shehih is the funniest of the 9/11 hijackers. - All right, I just wanna get the joke in. Norman McDonald told me a story about having sex with his friend's wife. - Probably didn't make the book. - Yeah. - It was on the radio. - I don't know if that, yeah, I don't remember that being in the book. - And I said, "Where was your friend?" Like, "Well, you're having sex with his wife." Was he like out of town or something? And he goes, "Now he was mowing the lawn." And I go, "Mowing the lawn." And he goes, "Yeah, you could hear it." And like when it stopped, in a weird way mowing the lawn with a gas-powered mower is a full alarm system for having sex with your friend's wife. - I guess so. - If it stops and he comes in for some iced tea, you gotta stop. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? But as long as you hear it going up and down, you can go up and down, right? So then, I said to him, we'll be Goldberg is one more Oscars than Michael Mann. That's a good point, Andrew. But then I said to him, like, "And how was it?" Like, were you like in the bed or like, you know, the guy's your best friend or one of your good friends and he's mowing the lawn and you're mowing to his wife. And I go, "Look, what position were you in that you could move quickly or get out of there or keep an eye on the guy through the window or something?" And he goes, "Oh, I was sitting there in the keyster." And I was like, "Anal with the wife?" Well, the guy, I mean, you want to talk about rolling the dice. I mean, that's insane. - That's insane, right? How did so many questions, did the guy know that he was there at all? Was he just visiting, like, hanging out and he had to mow the lawn or was he just there in secret? Like, so weird. I don't know, it wasn't a made up story because after he just, like, he could tell he's kind of like, yeah, I shouldn't have said anything or like, whatever it was. It wasn't, you know, made up stories sort of different and that he also felt kind of bad for the guys. Like, yeah, he was a good, he was a friend and maybe I shouldn't have, you know, whatever. - Defiling his wife while he was trying to keep the lawn mode and taking care of that's, that's pretty diabolical. - Yeah, it's not like he was in the arms of another lover or something. He was doing yard work. - Yeah. - You should have been making him a sandwich. - Yes. - And making him a nice Arnold Palmer and bringing it out to him, you know, maybe dabbing his brow. What's your sin in the shade and have a sandwich? - No, but no, you're getting your back blown out by Norman Donald. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. But that was a pretty crazy story. - Yeah. Back in, it was a back in Canada story. - Cheating with anal is insane. Cheating with anal is insane. - It's another level of cheat. - It is, it is. It is, it is another level of cheat. - Yeah, you're right. - It's like a debatuous level that you wouldn't even think of. Like, I don't know, that's crazy. - It's almost in a weird way. It's like, it's, well, in your act, not exactly, but I mean, it's sort of like rape blowjob. It's like, I'll just take the blowjob. Like, that's gilding the lily, man. - Or maybe Norman is being respectful in a weird way. And he knows that the husband's not going back there. And he's like, I'm not going to defile her whole. - I'm going in through the outdoor, right? - That's what he says. - Maybe he was trying to be thoughtful. - You know, I guess we'll never know. - We'll never know. - It's not in the book. But you're right, I could spin this into a way where he was-- - The good guy. - Showing etiquette. - Sure. - As I would call a social etiquette to not knowing that that was his sacred place. - And like Archie Bunker's chair. - You didn't sit in it. - Sure. - He's sitting the love seat right there. - That smells like shit. - That's crazy, am I going in front of the back, yeah. - Yeah, is that me or Norman? - One of you. - All right, let me give you a plug, Jeremiah. A very funny standup special. It seemed like it's full hour. - Yep, 54 minutes. - 54 minutes and it's a good walking special. Crazy pizza, you'll know why it's called that at the end. In the middle and then the end. - Yeah. - Rudy's here with some news and we'll talk to him right after this. (audience applauding) - Hule, well, if you're busy like me then making lunch is a pain in the ass. And I don't want to think about it. So I end up buying something expensive and in LA now, I mean, a decent lunch. It's 20 bucks, at least. It's crazy. And that's why I love Hule. Because it's a complete meal you have instead of food. It's got 27 essential vitamins and minerals. No artificial sweeteners, colors or flavors. The RTD bottle? Well, it's grab and go. And it has 35 grams of protein, seven grams of fiber and it's under five bucks a meal. These are super.
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[email protected]/atomnewcustomersonly. Thank you to Hewlett for partnering and supporting our show. Podcasting isn't just about talking. It's about growing, engaging, and monetizing. And that's where Podcast One Pro comes in. Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast One Pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level. We're talking about premium hosting, advanced analytics, dynamic ad integration, and expert distribution, all designed to maximize your reach and revenue. Plus, with access to Podcast One's industry leading network, you'll be connected to top tier advertisers and a massive audience. It's time to go pro and turn your passion into profit. Visit PodcastOnePro.com to get started today. Podcast One Pro, the power behind the podcast. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey, man, I just heard your interview with Stuart Copeland, man, between the marching band behind you and the leaking sweet, and then the hotel not being able to print out the bio for Stuart. Dude, that was the most genuine spinal tap moment ever, dude. I was laughing my ass off through the whole fucking thing, dude. Great job, man. Get it on. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Yeah, I mean, we're going to the RNC. You know, my first question is like, I need a quiet room, where I can do this, whatever. They start walking us out onto the floor of the place of the venue. And I was like, that's just wide open, and then Mike's like, they don't open until three. We're starting it too. So we got a full hour, and the band striking up, the guy singing God Bless America. It's like, of course it is. Yeah, tapping into the microphone. Now, of course, whatever they told Mike is not true, but I don't know what Mike's with Mike's accurate either way, we needed a room. Now it worked out because Stuart was a good dude, but it was driving me insane, because I could hear everything. But it was also, if you want to know how to drive me insane, I will say to you, like, all right, I will do this thing, but I need this, or I don't want that to happen. I can't have this happening. And then it'll happen, and it'll drive me nuts the whole time. I'm sitting there because it's all the stuff I said I didn't want, and it was all what was happening. I've been doing these things called road vlogs, where every time on the weekends, when I go out on the road, I start from when I hit the airport, or I hit my drive to the airport, and I film until I get back home. And when we got to Las Vegas this week, I went to go check into my hotel. Miraculously, there's no hotel. I get to the club. Well, there's no reservation. No reservation for me. You have a hotel room, but I don't have one. Then I get to the club. There's a couple of things that aren't set up with the club that I have to try to set up. And then the show's going to start. I have to go back, get into my room, take a shower, change. And on my way back from the hotel room, to Jimmy Kimmel's comedy club, you can find it in the vlog where I talk about I go on the road with numerous people all every single weekend. I am in some part of the country somewhere. Everything goes smoothly. I don't know what it is about going on the road with Corolla, but there is always something and it's not your fault. There's always an itinerary is missing something. The TSA number was different. This is not the Marriott we're staying at. We're at the Marriott. That's actually across town, but we drove all the way to the other side of town. It really feels like it's one thing after another when I'm on the phone with you. Yeah, well, if you pay attention, it will be, but also if you're. I mean, certain. I'm trying to think how much. Look, everyone says, whenever I'm in a hurry, I always got some slow-poken front of me, but you just notice it when you're in a hurry. You don't always have a slow-poke in front of you, so you have to kind of think about all the times. It does work and there isn't an issue, but it seems an anordinate amount of time, something comes up, pipe bursting and flooding the room and stuff like that. I mean, to be fair, it never happens, except for the one time I hadn't slept all night, but. All right, news. News. Let's do it. Social media users are taking jabs at California Governor Gavin Newsom over his latest political stunt, a recorded fly fishing outing with CNN anchor Jake Tapper, that the Democrat used to break news about his often rumored presidential ambitions. One flavor. Yeah, it's a lot of Democrats. Third of one flavors. You're not even the only California. No, right. You got Rocana, Kamala. I don't know, she runs, but we'll see. I know she's called around. Yeah, but I wouldn't run if she ran. If she runs, you will not. Of course not. Why would I? I wouldn't do that to her. I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't waste everyone's time. Who needs that? What do you mean? That doesn't even make sense to me. I just. No, I wouldn't. First of all, it electorally, it's a gift from God for everybody else. They enjoy the hell out of it. Mutual assured destruction. It services no greater good. I mean, you do whatever you want. I don't care, but like, but like kind of argument would be like, you know, she have a shot. Yeah, and you've never run and she's she's run twice. Yeah, I mean, that would be the I'd be the approach to the campaign certainly. That would be the case you make. Pretty good one, actually. You know, that's that's objectively true. I just, but I know what that means. I know her basis supporters. I know her friends. The Zen diagram on that is just pure crossover. It's not I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. I never know what you're talking about, but it's always weird. I don't know. You run into a lot of comedians who aren't funny and you think to yourself like five minutes into watching their set, you go, why do you want to do come? I don't get what why do you want to do this? You don't you're not funny. You don't have good ideas. No one's laughing. Gavin Newsom. Why why do you want to be the president? I mean, I know you're sociopath, but what shit do you want to enact? You know, like what what are you passionate about? Like, I do feel like Trump has a lot of shit. He wants to get done. Gavin Newsom wants to fucking hang out and talk about nothing and and do all the fucking double talk in the world and never nothing ever comes out the other end. Why why are you attracted to this? You know, like what is your platform? What would you get done? What is it? You would fix with you just sort of make the whole country like California or we punish rich people, I guess, or something, but you're rich person and you come from rich people. Like do you really even want this? I think it was you that was saying all you need to do is look in somebody's car and you can tell by what they would do what their house looks like by the inside of their car. Yes. That's what he would do with the United States. Just look at the small portion of California that he has taken over and look what has happened. And that's what he plans on doing with the 49 other states. I guess I never but with Kamala as well. Like I never really hear what their plan is. I mean, I know it sounds convenient because I hate both of them, but I only hate both of them because they don't have any ideas. I don't know what Kamala Harris wants. I hear her talk all the time, but I never hear her go, God damn it, this is what we need. We need this or they close the border or we need to open the border. Like I don't really know what he wants. He doesn't like, is he four transgenders in sports? I don't know. He does a double triple circular whatever talked for a long enough time that the person asking the question gets tired and becomes bored and then moves onto the next subject. But I really don't know what he's saying. I mean, somebody just said to him and we played the clip, but they were like these kids are going to Stanford. They're going to Cal. They're not prepared anymore. They can't keep up the curriculum. Should we bring back SATs and standardized testing? He talked for five minutes. I've no fucking idea what his answer was. And then we're done with the press conference. Is he for this? Is he against this? I don't know. If he was a basketball team and it was like, let's say back before the shot clock, let's just say it's college basketball in 1970. He would go out there and not run plays. He would go into the four corner and just keep passing the ball until the
clock ran out and then he would go home. 'Cause I don't, he doesn't try to score. I don't know what his plan is. I don't know, he's not running plays. If you listen to that thing about him talking about SAT scores or standard, whatever, I don't know what his thoughts are on it. I don't know his platform is. The question is you have a bunch of professors, a thousand of them, they all signed a document that said we need to bring these tests back because you're feeding us a bunch of dumb kids who can't keep up with our curriculum. And then he's asked, shall we bring it back? And then he talks for five minutes and then he leaves. And then you can look at the person next. You'll go, what's he wanna do with the test scores? And the answer is, I have no idea. - Yeah. - Do you have an idea? - If you just smile and get handsy with the gal, next to you, eventually people just stop asking questions. - She just laughed. - Yeah. - All right, let's hear what his stance is. This is very, by the way, this isn't trans sports or illegals getting medicaid or medicaid or medicaid or whatever. This is pretty easy. This is just, if the professors think so, then let's bring back the testing. I took the SATs, didn't hurt. Or, I'm against this. I think it disenfranchises people. All right, but his answer is. - I think there's this open letter going around where a thousand or more professors in the UC system are raising alarms about what they see as, in some cases, a severe lack of preparedness among college students who are heading into calculus and other advanced courses. - Well, private conversation. - But I did wanna get your position on what they're calling for. They're saying that the system needs to reinstate, standardize testing as a part of admissions. So I wanted to get your position on that. - Well, your position, what's your position? - We all have our own perspective in this. - We want you to speak. - Yeah, for your position. - You know, you could say what you think. - I'm not asking this bitch, what I think. - I want your, and I said it. - Of course, the last six months. - I think it's an important discussion in debate. I'm open argument interested in having to show me the data. I have feelings about this. - By the way. - I don't know, the data. - The data. - I wanna see the data. - The data is a thousand professors sign, I know. - She just said it to you. - Right, remember when the 52 intelligence experts all said the 100 points, the laptop, all the earmarks of Russian collusion and Russian in front of you. That was only 52 guys. You bought right into that. This is a thousand guys. So that's the data. The data is, the professors are saying these people are prepared times a thousand. But anyway, he's got thoughts. - Okay. - There's anecdotes about this. - What are there? - Tell me your feelings. - I made that point at the regental level. But the UCs talked to the president and talked to a member, a member of the board and expressed that point of view. Not just publicly, but also privately as well. And so the data needs to bear out the ultimate determination on this. But again, there's some contra data that's coming out and suggesting different things. And that's where I lead leads to my. - I'll say where it took me. - He doesn't say anything, everybody. He doesn't say anything. When I asked him about traffic, he said you are traffic. You're not in traffic. And then we moved on to the next subject. - Imagine if you dated somebody and just went, how do you feel about this relationship? Should we keep doing this? Well, listen, you learn a lot to the table. I bring a lot to the table. We both have feelings. There's both things that we need out of this relationship. Okay, yeah, but do you wanna keep dating? Tell me yes or no. And they never would give you an answer. - Yeah, I mean, the idea that people, if he ran for president against Marco Rubio, just about half this country would vote for that rambling retard. That's the insane part about our country. Where Rubio totally concise, give you five answers in the course of one essence of this guy dancing around a non-answer. All right, anyway. - Well, speaking of Gavin Newsom's California, LAPD said it stopped a group of 70 people on many bikes after officers observed some of the young participants performing wheelies and disrupting traffic on the Sixth Street Bridge. What do you see this video is? - Oh, this is great. - Yeah. - Guys, and-- - By the way, it's all Hispanic. - Yeah, this is the guy in his daughter. - The Sixth Street Bridge is currently shut down after another takeover. I just spoke with an officer who estimates that at least 70 people were issued citations. About 70 bikes were impounded. The age range here, they're estimating this right now. So these are preliminary numbers, but they're saying the age range is about from 13 years old to grown adults as old as 50. - Many bikes are hobby, they're not a crime. - If they put a long out there, they're not-- - But legally, that is a crime though, right? - How is that a crime? - 'Cause she's too young. - She's not, I mean, what is too young? - It's definitely not 13, 13 is too young. - I don't think that's right, 'cause at the same time-- - But you don't make the law. - I know people think that I'm putting my daughter in the arms way, I'm in the winter to keep her safe. We all got helmets, we make sure all the kids have water and everything. - All right, this is the problem with LA. It's way too many fucking Mexicans who don't. Yes, this is all fine in Tijuana. You don't have laws. You don't have laws in Tijuana, we have laws here. He's like, what the fuck, what law? What are you talking about? I'm on Tijuana time, bro. I got my daughter, she got a helmet. Why can't she do some donuts in a boltaco in the middle of the fucking street? - Why not? - Yeah. - What's the problem? By the way, you go to Tijuana, there's three-year-old selling chocolates. If the fucking 10 p.m. at night, just walking around, yeah, they don't have laws. They have cock fighting. We have laws, but if you import enough of them, then you'll have cock fighting, 'cause that's the culture. - We used to have parents that would give out some spankins, if you were in the middle of the street, doing wheelies on your motorized bike, which by the way, they bought you. - Yes, they took flatbed trucks and they put like 35 mini-bikes on the back of each flatbed truck. And if I was fucking 11 and that truck drove past me on the freeway with 35 mini-bikes on it, I would have grabbed the fucking wheel out of my mom's hand and fallen on that fucking truck. Wherever that truck ends up, if one falls off, we're getting it. If I gotta go over our fence and grab it, oh, oh, oh, oh, Riley, auto parts. Yeah, Riley auto parts. They're in the business of keeping your car in the road. Oh, Riley auto parts. They offer friendly, helpful service and the parts knowledge you need for all your maintenance and repairs. Listen, I got a bunch of old race cars and that's why I always use. Oh, Riley, because I got the stuff I need. I go in, I've got thousands of parts and if you're in a jam, they'll help you out. The team of Riley auto parts can test your battery for free in or out of the car and if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find just the right one for your vehicle. I'm a car fishin' auto, but you know, I always go by there and they tell me stuff. I didn't know, 'cause they're professional parts people. That's so Riley auto parts. You want stop shop for all things, do it yourself and you can also find what you need either in the store or you can go online. I'd go in the store, like the smell of it, I like the people, but you can go in store or online. It's a Riley auto parts, right, Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com/Adam. That's O'ReillyAuto.com/Adam. Hello and welcome to Pluto Fall. We're all your bloodbuster favorites or landing all summer long. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Mean girls. Side up. Tite and ink. And so much more for Showtime's press nothing. They're free 24/7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. By the way, pull up alongside the truck. We're going 45 miles. I'll get open the window. I'll be back. Yeah, there was one leaned up against like a guardrail on the 110 the other day. And I almost pulled off on the side and threw it in the back of the truck. I don't know if this thing works. I don't know why it's here. It's probably illegal for me to take it. But hell with it, the seven year old in me wants this so bad. Yes, this entire town has been turned into Mexico. And that's who's doing all the fucking street takeovers. And you can go, well, why are you being a racist? And it's like, look, whatever group is doing whatever it is you don't want to do. You want them to do. You have to have fucking identify who this group is. I've seen the minibike gangs and they're all fucking Hispanic. All right, it's a cultural thing. I don't know not so many Jews in the minibike gang and not so many Asians in the minibike gang and not so many blacks in the minute. You know, not white people, it's like a thing. The street takeover in LA is like a Hispanic thing and the minibike thing is a Hispanic thing. I've seen it up and down PCH. When I went to San Francisco, I saw the minibike gang in San Francisco. And by the way, there's a lot of minibike dads. They're Hispanic dudes that are 51 and 400 pounds who ride a fucking thing with a Prickson Stratton and a centrifugal clutch on it. I don't know what's attractive about having the coolest minibike in the land when you're fucking 50 years old.
but that's the mentality of these retards. And this guy's obviously a fucking idiot 'cause he's arguing with the reporter, like what's with this? She's 13. Yeah, she can have her concierge, but she can't ride a minibike that's not licensed, that doesn't turn signals or lights or it's a completely off-road vehicle. And no, you're not allowed to take over public space on this illegal minibike in your kids wearing a helmet. Okay. - Great. So that's your point that you're making? The point I'm making is this fucking dad. The question is, is not why we can't use a bridge, we just built. The question is, is why is there a bunch of 15 year olds and 13 year olds and 14 year olds taking it over? Where's the parents? Well, we just heard from the parent. He's a fucking retarded cholo. Jesus Christ. Although the Jewish minibike gang, do they wear their colors on the back of the Yamaha? Is that what they put the patch? - Yes, yes. - I was trying to think, hell's angels, but it wouldn't be hell's angels, like hex angels, but now it's not, what would they be called? - The Jewish minibike gang. - Hebrews angels. - Hebrews, and there it is, yeah. There it is, a little ration. Ilat Omar says she won't apologize for hating Charlie Kirk because he has no legacy to honor. - And by the way, the back of the gene jacket on the Hebrews angels would be H-E and then there'd be L-L and it'd be crossed out. And then it grew and then angels. - Crossed out with Jesus crosses, like, yeah. Lowercase T, crossing them out. Yes, love it. - Yeah, Ilhan, yeah, she's, by the way, this is 100% chick-think, here we go. - I have nothing to apologize for. You know, it is, it is a tragedy that Charlie Kirk was killed in that way. I feel for his widow and his children. They will have to live with that for the rest of their lives. But there is no legacy to honor. It was a legacy filled with bigotry, hatred, and white supremacy. And as a black woman and as a Muslim in this country, I refuse for, I refuse to join the chorus that changes the history of what is on the record from this man. And so, you know, Nancy Mays, the president, like, whatever these crazy people can do, whatever they want to do, but I am now going to be bullied into complacency, into, you know, dishonoring who I am and what I stand for just to, you know, make them feel comfortable. - Yeah. - It's not going to happen. - Yeah. - No one asked you to. - Thanks. - Don't have an element for that hard-hating interview. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The camera guy over there, yeah. - What's that? - Disonoring. And what I stand for, you know, his family's going to have to live with this, but he was a bigot and he's, yeah, okay. Let's eat. Are you hungry? Jesus Christ, who's fucking the last interest in that shrewd, then Don Lemon. Listen, everything's about being black and being a woman and being a once-2000 fucking 26. This is a new world order. You get Charlie Kirk completely wrong. You misquote everything. You do nothing. There are 200,000 hours of Charlie Kirk on the internet. You could avail yourself of some information, bitch, and learn something, but you never will, because you don't want to, because you want to live in some sort of weird, racist bubble, where Charlie Kirk was, and of course, if anything you said about Charlie Kirk was true, then you would be right not to honor his death, but you lie about him, and then that gets you to your actions, which is based on a lie and you're full of shit. It's also like, they're doing this whole thing where we're going to have an anti-linching bill, 10 black women have been lynched in the last, you know, whatever. Now that committed suicide and the one, what's a homicide, what's a black dude, who did it? This thing, you can't just keep making stuff up and then acting accordingly. You have to get the information and then act, but you can't act on false information. That's all they do. Michael Brown said, hands up, don't shoot. He was a gentle giant. He was wrestling a cop trying to get a gun away from him after he's strong armed a guy in a liquor store. Yeah. Now of course, if you just want to go through life this way, well then you could just go, I walked into my house and some guy bashed me over the head with a frying pan and tried to attack me and it's like, yeah, that wasn't your house and you snuck in through the window and you were high. But if you just want to tell this part of the story, well then go ahead. But if the part that came before it is a lie, then you're not going to be accurate about anything and then you're going to start forming opinions and making legislation based on lies. So that's what you get to do, Ilhan. They do this with Jordan Peterson too, where they go, oh, it would spew an out of his mouth. Oh, you mean, nothing but facts. Right, right, that's right. Also what it is is I'm a bitch. I hate white dudes. I hate Christianity and I fucking hate this country and I got it and I hate this guy 'cause he stands against everything I do. I think so I have to make up a bunch of lies and then I'll channel them through my other dingbat friends who lie. Nobody ever goes, you know, you have a phone. There's, he goes to Stanford and speaks for an hour. You want to watch it? Would you like to know about the guy or just want to say you know about the guy and never know about the guy? Or the same with Jordan Peterson or Ben Shapiro. You've been learning all about these guys, Dennis Prager. There's tons and tons of information they have. That's out there that you can get on your phone, but you never do. You never know anything. Just like you can know everything about Michael Brown. You can know all the facts of all the stories or you can just live in your weird fucking lie. They did the same shit with COVID. You can investigate this. I have her Mectin's horse pace. Go look it up. You have a phone or do you not want to know? 'Cause I don't think you want to know. She wanted to know you fucking figure it out. All right, these people are not serious people and we should stop listening to them and thank God for Minnesota. Oh, fucking retards. I know. Oh, Donald Trump isn't. Also, listen, Somalia is a piece of shit. That's why you're here. So your plan is I'm going to relocate to the place that wasn't ruined by Somalians and exclusively vote for Somalians. Yeah. Okay. Great. That's not a great plan. You vote for fucking Bud Grant. Get something done. Donald Trump has accused former presidents of not taking care of the White House and claims his renovations have ensured the iconic residence is now in better shape than it was when construction began in 1792. Hmm. Okay. It's got a picture of a side by side here, some of the renovations that they've made. Yeah, it's cleaning the place up. Yeah. Good. It's got to get a ballroom. Outrageous. How dare you? How dare? Doss, you know that time somebody built a ballroom using someone else's money, not your tax money and you're across the country and you're outraged? Yeah. Impeachment. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. Someone's building a ballroom. Somebody wrote, I think, and I wasn't paying for it at all. Right. Right, right, right, right. You got it. I was reading a tweet that basically we could get 30 of those ballrooms for the price of the unfinished bullet train that we are paying for here. Yeah. But the people who live here or big backers of the bullet train are outraged over the ballroom. Okay, everybody. Well, that makes perfect sense to me. Again, it's, it really all goes back to their extreme hatred for one man has under them incapable of critical thought. And I would say, I would, with Ilhan Omar and these people, I would expand it past Trump and just into this nation. Like Charlie Kirk represented this nation. Basically, and Trump, but basically he was just saying, God, guts and guns made this country free. You know, get married, have kids, pray to God and watch football on Sunday and own a gun and they hate all. They hate everything that is this, right? Yeah, it's like when you watch those bad neighbor TV shows, guide on the street, builds a pole barn and the neighbors are coming down there with pitchforks going, what are you doing? Right. Well, why do you give a shit? Everything is envy and shame, I figured out. You're, you're, your beloved Somalia is a piece of shit and you can't accept it. So now you're here and you got to tear this place down. Absolutely. Former transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg's, trying that again, Buttigieg, right? Buttigieg says he believes America is ready for a gay president. Remember when he was telling us about racist bridges? He actually worked race into it. Like he had to sit up at night, probably when he was on maternity leave for six months after adopting a kid with a seragon, but okay, he had to sit up at night with his life partner and go, I do transportation, but I have to talk about race all the time. So how would this work? Let's see, how about a racist airport bathroom? No, no. Racist railway, that sounds good. That's kind of a little race shit. Yeah, yeah, working on the railroad, but that doesn't quite have those hoodspot, you know, something I can really clam on to. Come on Pete. How about a racist bridge?
- Oh, I can go. - Right, but how's the bridge racist? - Okay. - Well, it doesn't hold up. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - No. - No. - It's fun, I'm not gonna call people color fat by the way. - Okay. (laughs) - Let's say the bridge was racist, because the people of color came there in a bus, back in the olden days, and the bridge was too low. So the bus, the bus with the color people, you know, Rosa Parks in there, she couldn't get the bus through the bridge, so they couldn't go to the beach. - Segregation views. - That's good. That's pretty good. - That's gonna be right in that down the racist bridge. - Okay, but what about the sixth street bridge, where all the Mexicans are doing wheelies on their dirt bikes, is that what's illegal about a 13-year-old doing wheelies on a bull talker? - When you put it like that. - No, that's not a racist bridge. That's a righteous bridge, bro. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, got it, writing it down. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah. - Here's the clip from Meet the Press. - I do wanna talk a bit about your political future, Mr. Secretary, former Vice President Kamala Harris wrote in her book about the 2024 election that you came close to being her running mate. Let me remind people of this passage she writes of the eight names on the list for vetting. I might as well say that Pete Buttigieg was my first choice. He would have been an ideal partner if I were a straight white man. But knowing what was at stake, it was too big of a risk. She was essentially saying that she didn't think America was ready for a gay vice president with a black woman at the top of the ticket. Let me ask you today, do you think America is ready for a gay president? - I wouldn't have run for president in the first place if I didn't believe that. Of course, and look, my experience in South Bend, Indiana, getting re-elected with 80% of the vote after coming out. And my experience right now, traveling in the country, shows me that what's with-- - By the way, South Bend is a position, him and his boyfriend get into. (laughing) That's your face, or the South Bend it on and over, Pete. - Yeah, we don't write the gray, how we write the gay, how. - I'm gonna put the butt and butt at you. (laughing) They do this reverse jujitsu racism all the time, which is I love a gay guy to run, but you guys are so racist that we couldn't have done this because I'm not a white man. Nobody gives a shit, you were inept. Kamala Harris was inept. It's not the color of her skin. It's not that we're not ready for. We already had Obama for fucking two terms. That was a long time ago. We're ready for it. We're ready for competence. You weren't competent, bitch. But anyway, you'll blame that on the uptight American voters, okay. By the way, does the vice president ever really, I mean, you know, push things across the finish line. Like they put too much weight in. We are voting for Trump. We're not voting for JD Vance. We're not voting for Kamala Harris. Not voting for Tim Walls. Tim Walls, not gonna buy her 25%. It's like gambling on a football game. And all you wanna do is talk about the backup quarterback. And it's like, I don't really know who the guy is. I don't even fucking care. I care about the starting quarterback. I don't even think people know the name of half the backup quarterback on a team they're betting heavily on. 'Cause it's just, that's not a factor. - Yeah. - All right. Sharer, he's got more. - I wouldn't have run for president in the first place if I didn't believe that, of course. And look, my experience in South Bend, Indiana, getting re-elected with 80% of the vote after coming out. And my experience right now, traveling in the country, shows me that what's really on people's minds isn't about you, your identity as a candidate. It's about them, it's about their lives. Right now, Americans are hurting in Trump's economy. There's an opportunity to change that. And the voters that I see, they're turning out in levels. I didn't think it was possible coming out, hundreds and hundreds at a time, because they want to be part of this effort, this conversation, this movement, to change the course of our country before it's too late. - You have said you are inclined to run for president. If you had to make your decision today, are you running in 2028? - Well, what do you think of my strength, I beard. I don't think now's the time to even be talking about that. We're about 50 days away from a critically important - When are you gonna make your decision and believe Democrats are going to win? It's 2026, we gotta focus on what's happening right now. That's what I'm doing. I think by my count, we've been to 35 states. - All right, why are we on the show then? Just fucking move on. By the way, I would always be the worst host 'cause I would do this people when they go, I'm not coming here, I'd go, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, then fuck it. The fuck it, I just fuck it, move on. Like I don't want, I'm gonna whine, here's what I'm saying. Like I'll go, Rudy, can you drive me to the airport? Then you go, no, I can't drive to the airport. I wish I could drive to the airport. I thought about, I just go, I'm fine. Just, you're not driving to the airport. I gotta find someone's driving to the airport. You don't have to whine down, slowly coast to a stop with how much, how many thoughts you've had about the airport. You can't fucking do it, we're moving on, like turn the page. People hate it when I do it, but I do it all the time. Like, okay, fine, good, done. Next. All right, Sunday, Jordan Family Classic Cars, live podcast there with Jay Hu, Jay Leno this time. You gonna amcroll.com, I'm gonna be flapper. I think Rudy's gonna be flappers. That'll be September 24th, and then two shows over in Casper. Are you going to Casper? - I'll be there. - For real though, it's great theater. That's this park, are you going there? - I will, there was this. - That's the shining. Got to amcroll.com for all the live shows. What do you got Rudy? - This weekend on Friday, I'll be in Columbia, Missouri for two shows at the Tokyo Room. And then on Saturday, Kansas City, the club I was supposed to do closed this week on ceremoniously. So now, I'm out, but I'll be in Kansas City. If you got a brewery or a bar or a backyard, I'll come and do it for free. I just hate not doing Santa on a Saturday, so DM me. - Well, until next time, I'm out of car for Jeremiah Watkins and Rudy Pobbett, say it. Mahala. - Think of her phone, leave us a voicemail. The number's 88, 63, 417, 444, and get tickets to Seattle and Corolla. You can get them at adamcorolla.com. 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