Jeremiah Watkins, Chris Stanley, & Chris Faga - Dead Nipple - Episode 946

[MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] [MUSIC] >> Guys, all the rain did a number on my hair. Hey everyone, it's your favorite podcast to my right. It's Tristan Bowling. >> [APPLAUSE] >> To my left, the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake, Lewis J. Gomez. >> [APPLAUSE] >> No, wrong show, wrong, no. You don't woo, woo, woo on this show. >> And I'm Big J. Ogerson and we are the Legendary Legion of Mother fucking Skanks. What's up? >> [APPLAUSE] >> Three for life, three for life. >> I'm excited about the night show. >> Cornflower Blue. Is that what you were asking? >> [LAUGH] >> Oh, your nails. >> Those are pretty, thank you. >> I will say, at the very least, I'm not going to say how I feel about them when I'm supposed to kiss them. What are you doing? Blowing on my sucking on your fingers. >> What is your sense, their nails that way, to anybody, much less another man. >> Lewis, what? >> Do what your body tells you. >> Yes, I just need a delicious meal, I went, no, no, no. >> You guys basically kissed. >> Essentially. >> Can I suggest something before we introduce our guests, everybody? >> Yeah, to you guys, specifically, we should wear our headphones on today's show as we have three guests. >> Yeah, now? >> [APPLAUSE] >> It is just my suggestion, because we've been known to cross-talk once in a while. >> Dude, you're always the corporate side of this. >> It really am. >> Me and Tristan have always been the fun. >> 15 years, 15 years trying to do. >> 15 years of you, Tristan being the fun part of the show. >> I know. >> Boy, we raised this boy to be great since he was seven years old. >> When you joined that, when you were seven years old. >> I was 13, you son of a bitch. >> Yeah, those are good days. >> He took me from my family, and I loved you ever since. >> Well, Lewis wouldn't be able to come unless you kept yelling out you were seven. >> Yeah. >> Well, I guess everyone believes you raped Tristan. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Well, they all jumped on board with that pretty quick. We have an amazing cast of characters coming up here on the show today. Our first guest from high society radio, he's got a special burn after saying available on YouTube. >> How about it for the hilarious Chris Feigah. [MUSIC] >> Somebody, thanks for having me, we're excited to have you here. We're having a fun show where you come in the middle of a torture retort month on. >> Nice. >> They'll do the same thing. >> I think years since they've been on one of these torture retort shows. >> We don't call that on YouTube. But sure, yeah, yeah. >> This is Paywall right now, right? >> Our second guest also from high society radio right here on guest digital. And you also know I'm from Beddington on SXM. Make some noise for the hilarious Chris Stanley. [MUSIC] >> This is exciting. [MUSIC] >> Wait a minute, if you guys are here and we're here, then how are we both here? >> You wish you were as white as either of these guys. >> I feel like we're sort of hitting on a similar thing as them. Like if we showed up at a casting for the same character. >> Absolutely, this is him, so yeah. >> It is the same type of cast. >> Yeah. >> For the new Cannonball Run. >> Can't wait. >> Do you guys also have a Twinkie Boy third? >> Wait for it. >> Speaking of. [MUSIC] >> I know him from his amazing just stand up on the spot. And he's on tour right now, clapping up for Jeremiah Walker. >> [APPLAUSE] >> Yeah. [MUSIC] >> Woo, there it is. >> My god, my god. >> Man, imagine the legion of Skanks, the legion of Skanks. >> It's been 15 years we've all been doing high society radio together. >> Holy shit. >> This is like when they had the fake undertaker coming to the WWE. I was like, what's going on here? >> We fake. >> Yeah. >> I thought it was real. >> He looks just like him, dude, don't fucking. >> So wizard. >> No wrestling spoilers for Chris Tandy. >> I think that's up. >> It's not because like fake undertaker because there just wasn't high def TV back then. They got away with it. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> But like today, you look at some of the other mask for some reason. >> It's insane, dude. But fake undertaker, I knew about fake undertaker before anybody knew about fake undertaker. >> Wow. >> Because his mom was fucking Paul Bair. >> She was blowing everyone weeding to the fake undertaker. >> Yeah. >> Lucky. >> She had, yeah. >> She's just a fat guy squealing, oh yes, who is his mom's room? >> Man. >> Yeah. >> I wish I was young enough to produce enough come to make a girl's, paint a girl's face with Jizz like the ultimate warrior. >> Oh, that'd be fun. >> It would require, even the outline would require more Jizz than I produce. >> Yeah. >> So you're really immature. You have the fake legion of stanks here, maybe you spruce it up a little bit. >> Sorry. I thought we were the Jizz joke ones. >> They're the Jizz joke ones. >> We're the high brow ones. >> Oh, shit. >> 15 years have come. >> Oh, then we should probably chate, you guys should take this silly gonja ass tray. >> Yeah, look. >> And I'll take this reasonable man's cigar ass tray. >> 420, right? Get it? >> Yeah. >> Well, what were we just talking about? >> I'm high. >> What the fuck is happening? >> It happens to you three times a show. >> Oh, you just your brain gave up? >> My brain gave up. >> You forget you were here and you already think about where you're going to watch later? >> Yeah. >> You are here at a time we are, have been going through our internal Olympics. >> Sorry. >> Three times a show, your brain shuts down and you reset like a computer. >> Totally. It's a complete turn off. But if you say two words that get me back to the thing, I'm right where I was. >> Right there. >> But if no one does that, it's gone forever. >> Most of the time the two words are black dick. >> Oftentimes. >> [LAUGH] >> Those are your winter soldier words or your like, yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. >> It's a mantra. >> Yeah, I got to come to the president. >> Black dick, black dick. >> Black dick. >> Black dick. >> [LAUGH] >> Don't say three times it will show up in the mirror. >> [LAUGH] >> Well, look, I'm very, very excited about this issue. You guys did come in at a great time or spring tunnel Olympics. We're down to four up, spring, turn, up, let, spring, turn, let big, spring, turn, spring, turn, spring, turn, let big, spring, turn, let big, spring, turn, let big, ♪ The season's wrong, the season's wrong ♪ ♪ The way's too late and still goes to this upper turn ♪ That's not what the title is. - Thank you. - Wow! (audience cheering) - Same words every time. - Man. - Little long. - That you also, Alex, by the way, not here. - What? - Alex's plane got delayed. - Boo. - Boo. - She was a hijacking. - She didn't make it. - You guys happy now? - Yeah. - She's got a box cutter to her throat at 30 seconds. - Yeah. - They're on their way to Cuba. - But Alex is not here, we do have Dom filling in. - Which similar proportions. - Oh, very much so. - Dom crushing it with young intern Seraphina. Sir, I was talking to Seraphina about this earlier today. She was in the, part of the last spring turn, or last intern Olympics. - How did you end up with it? - I didn't torture. Like literally she just-- - Oh, so one of those guys has to fuck Dom. - Damn. - He's a spinner. - Well, there was no torture in these internal Olympics. Until this one. So like Seraphina, we just like called her hot every week for two months, and she was like, that's it. - How did she deal with that? - Yeah, it was pretty brutal. - I'm just glad. so much has changed. - I like Lewis to sign it to all of us too, because we would just call her however we can tell her how great her tits were and all that shit. We would all do that. - We literally, we literally all do that. - Find evidence of me doing that. - You do it off-air, which is creepier. - I don't do it off-air at all. I do it on-air, which is the fun bit. - Yeah, it's a performance. - She's my comedy protege. (laughing) - Shut up, Lewis, you go on vacations with her and stand like this behind her. (laughing) - Lewis! - You're a human 80s movie. I've seen you lower sunglasses and turn around on steps. - She does it. - So look at a fucking five with her ass out. - She doesn't even know how hot she is, Jay, and that makes her hotter. Let's move on. Where is she? Well, Tom, now you know what Lewis spills, too. - Okay, okay, all right. Tom knows, Tom works the real last part, yes. (laughing) Tom knows exactly what I spill, too. Do you say almost fightable things every week? - Yeah. - Don't fucking loves it, don't worry about it. - Yeah, that's good. - Yeah, Tom's a real sub. - So, I think a switch, that's just me. - So we're gonna be having some fun with these sprinter, and we just keep on coming up with ideas. We have these meetings every week on Saturdays, and usually it starts out, it'll be like, we'll do a spelling bee. And it's like, we'll do a spelling bee while we sick alligators on their nuts acts. - We're gonna fucking cut their heads off. (laughing) - We're gonna cut their fingers off. - We're gonna make 9/11 look pussy with the fucking intern. - You guys want to be in the yakuza or what? (laughing) Our meetings weekly just turn into how we're going to torture these people. - Fucking faces like this, five interns here, and I don't have any fucking whiskey. - There's four interns. - It's fucking insane. - You're all five. - Look at Paul, Paul was out of the competition, but Paul floating through the crowd right now, like a spirit. - Well, who got these drinks for us here? - I don't know. - And where's my cold glass of milk? (laughing) I said, there's only raw milk. - I said 65 degrees even. - I brought my thermometer. (laughing) - Where's Mr. Watkins milk? - Get it immediately. - He wants cream, heavy cream. (laughing) - So, is this pasteurized cheese? - It's disgusting. - Alright, so we have our, here's what we're doing. Okay, we have a wheel of punishments, okay. - It should be punishments. - That's just why. - Well, wheel of punishments, okay. - It's not fun. - No, no, it's fun for us, and it's fun for the crowd. - So good at production, dude. (laughing) - He's wild, he's great. - He's spot, he's great. - So good, there's been banging Lewis out with ideas all night. - Right now, it's fucking great. - This guy's winning the interview. - He's bending me over with a jog. - Go work. - bending me over with fucking sick hot production. - Okay, it's gonna be leaking out later. - I don't know, dude. - I'll put it in my mouth, too. - What a gap you with production. - No, dude, I love it. - It's my favorite thing to be gamed with is sick production. - Are we getting on each other right now? - No, no, dude. - It's past that. - Yeah, do you want? (laughing) - You guys are setting up a fuck session, for sure. - Do you want to switch seats with me? - Please. - Oh my God, dude. - Just a sick fucking production idea. - Oh yeah, yeah. - If one of you goes first and the other one doesn't like it, you don't like it, you have to let the other guy go. - I don't know if I can do that. - If you're gonna butt fuck each other, it's something more suck as dick, if you're like, I hate it, like he still has to do you. - That's fine. - When did we get more? - I'm really gay. - With this production video. - 15 years ago, yeah. - You were 13 years old, remember? - Oh, Jesus, you were a boy, so you just thought it was normal. - Oh, I was about to say, that's what gay is? I thought it was Tuesday. - No, no, dude. - I only got a Tristan, he's little Wayne in your fucking baby and BG, from the fucking cash money. - Oh my God, he snailed it. - Wow, that was deep wigger cuts. - What is that? Jeremiah, before we move on to this will punishments idea, what is a gay thing you've ever done? 'Cause you're a good Christian boy. - With a Jesus camp. - But they do gay shit, dude. They do butt stuff. - That's what I mean. - I mean, I've put hot stuff. - Can I just hold it even before you say this? I can tell there's another gayer thing that you're not saying, and you're about to tell us the second gay thing. - It's over, we're done. - Okay, probably the gayest thing is-- - See, he changed it. (laughing) - Jeremiah, it's okay, tell us the second gay thing. - I'm worried that every time we criticize him, he's gonna go even less gay. - You have a family. - I'm getting gayer each time I'm resetting. That's my, okay. - With me and a buddy, we-- - Yeah, you're-- - Whoa! - Yeah! - We, we, on a podcast, we squeezed animals into each other's blood holes on camera. And then we, we, we did an X-Lax. It was a Cisar Bros episode. We did this podcast where we squeezed animals into each other's blood. - It's okay, that's just a fun house, man. - That's just a fun house, man. - We told him it just-- - One time, one time a big J-held fleshlet while I fucked it. (laughing) - Okay. - Hey, his name is Stanley. He's right here. - I'm right here for it. - Okay, I got it, I got it. I made out with Jason Biggs when I dress up as the pie from American Pie on a show. That's pretty gay. - I think for doing that for him. - Opened out tongue? - Yeah, I was full of tongue. - Perfect. - Did it move? - Oh, no, he went for it. - No, I'm saying, did your penis, did it move? - Oh no, it was, it was-- - If you wanted to stop earlier than it did, he kept going. - No, I mean-- - That's what Lewis did to me. - I told him I would follow him. I told him I'd follow him into the dark wherever he'd go. - Wow, you know. - Yeah, let's go to the bed. - Lewis took some liberties after the joke was over. - Yeah, Dave Smith was there, he loves liberty. - He does love liberty. - I'll tell you what he eats. - I'll tell you what Dave Smith's liberty toss on iTunes and everywhere else. - I'll tell you what he doesn't like. It's his two best friends, French kissing on top of him. He didn't like that at all. - He hated it. - Really? - Yeah. - And he wasn't even on the show. He was filling in for Tristan that week. - Oh, sure. - Yeah. - Tristan was just laughed and started sucking our cocks. - Yeah. - We like, we taught him the way we raised you to do. Suck our cocks when we start Frenching. - We're running a mouth train on you. - Wouldn't me and Jay are deep kissing, deep tongue kissing. You play with our balls and suck our cocks. - It's Pavlovie at this point. This guy's gonna start doing it as soon as you start. - As soon as you ring that dinner bell of yours, he's coming for the balls. - I'll just water it. - Yeah. - What are those at a spa? Like what are those little Chinese bells? Whatever. - To bet in balls. - To go. - To bet in balls. - To bet in balls. - To bet in balls. - There you go. - Hell yeah dude. - It's like the movie "Get Out" but it's just gay. Like, "Get Out." (all laughing) - Hey! (all laughing) - So. - Oh, wait, someone? - All of a sudden, I was upside down. - Here's what we're doing. Here's what we're doing. - L7. - We are gonna have everybody spin the wheel upon us. - Everyone's spinning. - Okay. - Thank you. - Sarah Fienner. - Chocolate milk will do. (all laughing) - No. - If somebody of the Sarah Fienner's giving her cigarettes is like, "Are you making her pay you in cigarettes to teach her comedy?" - No. I taught her comedy on the strength. I gave her my credit card and answered it to grab two packs of cigarettes for me. - This is very prison-like, where the interns are handing off fucking cigarettes for each other for payment. - Yeah, I also make her hold my handkerchief in my pocket. - What's next, fucking toilet line? What's coming out of her? - Well, she wants to learn comedy. - Have you heard about, do you mean body-brain coffee? - She has to print license plates for us back at the guest's little studios. - I love that. - So here's the, every intern is going to spin the wheel of punishments. And then we have a way for one of them to not have to do their punishment. If you refuse your punishment, you're going home tonight. - Simple as that. So, we have 10, we have 10 places, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. - Okay, can I make a suggestion though? - Please, yup. - So, they should all get their punishments and then see if two of them buck and then see how they can compete to stay. 'Cause if two of them aren't going to do the punishment, they should get-- - Chris, we had a whole meeting. You should have been there if you wanted to be a part of this. - What's going on in these fucking weeks? - It's a lot of fucking half of my Saturday is consumed by this. - Half. - That's crazy. - Torturing retarded people. - You guys spent the fourth of July figuring that it's 14 hours of meeting. - 16 more half hours of meeting. - I was late. - It's like Guantanamo May meets Jucky Cheese. - Guantanamo gay. - Yeah. - But out of those six hours, man, we come up with like a half a page of gold. It's beautiful. We never get the half of it. That just goes into the ether. The lost legion of Sankbits would be a great podcast. You guys should do it. How great would that be? - Dale, throw out some ideas you'll never do. - Do you guys meet on Saturdays also? - No. - Sorry. - I mean, me and Stanley text pretty hungover most Saturdays. - Okay. - So where are these, where are the punishments? - If you come up with all of them, we're now. We have seven of 10s. We gotta come up with the next three. Do you have a microphone? All right, so give me the punishments. We're gonna start putting them on here. - All right, this is what we have so far. The first one is snort a line of dried cum. Wait, dry cum. - Lewis. - That's barely a punishment. - Real question. - Are you gonna have good penmanship on this, or should I take this? - Oh, good penmanship, but you can take it. I know you have pride in your penmanship. - I do. - You want to do every other one, and if one of our penmanship sucks, we can go back and erase the other one's penmanship. - Yes. (laughs) - I promise you, within three minutes, Jay will be erasing my penmanship. - Oh, I want you to be good. - All right. - So you don't call you Lewis calligraphy for nothing. - Did you call them that? - No, they call me Lewis calligula, 'cause I have gay sex with boys. - Oh my God, and horses don't forget. - And all ladies, there's blood and fuckin' lawn. - That's my Roman Empire. - Blood and shit and piss. (laughs) - Dude, the police is crazy again. - Where are the grats? - Here is the grats. - Come on, folks. (laughs) - You guys, you see that? - Oh, that fuckin' dude. - You guys, you see that phenomenon for six months? - Hey, wake the fuck up. (cheering) - What is going on? We got a full-fledged fuck wake up people the government's taking your rights It's a fucking surveillance state Here's what I'm gonna say I'm just gonna write the words come yeah, well. No, what that means? There could be another come category come category It's the wheel of commission You're pretty cool. This one could be come. Come. I should be this other one could be nut We'll see where we get also whose calm are they snorted? So that's a great question. That is to be determined as well Chris somebody in this room will be jerked off by one of us at any moment Here jr. Suspenders gets some good come by the way the guy in the pizza did this he raises eyebrows and went maybe it'll be me Maybe tonight's my night everyone check under your seats if you feel something mildly warm You get some coming usual at You are the winner. I just show Jay the wheel and yes, okay I'm fine with it What come on deck come on deck great name for a podcast No, we're gonna here's what I'm gonna say okay because we did talk about this We should we need to have the dried come ready to rock okay So once they spin the wheel we have it's good if it's your own come snorted fucking wet Yeah, so snorting wet come Jay. We're civilized human being Come is just no different snorting humidity cocaine. He's fucking gross dude wet come is gonna be insane. Nope Yeah, it's right. It's a punishment And I should have the snort wet come Because it's not come no matter what it's got not gonna be fun come concentrate It's not gonna be fun. I agree Bring in the dry come scientist. Is it okay? Gee Mike look up. Is it okay to snort your own wet come? Yeah, obviously, where are you looking that up on Lewis? If they put it in a progressive steak stock Instead of it that's not a Lexus just Lewis is like okay doggy. This is what you're gonna need to do Like yes, you can snort your own wet come obviously I feel like drive come is the bit because it's a powder all right. Hold up. I'm not lying a fucking wet come We just have dry come land of anything wet. That's a puddle of what they have a dehydrated In the kitchen you can you come on something. It's gonna leave a little war to come You can also microwave the nut That's how it's taken. Yeah, yeah Microwave They have old kitchen here. Yeah, I'm sure they'll be put away on top of where I think they have an a rating no Even I would tell you how you dry out that calm and a fucking brick oven pizza I like that they brought that guy in the brine like coolating and fucking stay fair a lot of people No rotation. It'll be powdered argue. Yeah. Yeah, you got a spinning halfway through so it's even They're gonna snort calm one way or the other All right, good. So if they land now, we have they got a jack. Yeah, gee Mike You said a USA 250, which is they have to stand in front of the room naked and sing the star-spangled banner But they don't get lyrics right they have to remember sure that's good. Yeah And the song isn't over until you hit every single lyric every Get right it might be Jay didn't have to write all you can just wrote USA. I did though good. I wrote the whole thing I know but by the way with pretty sick penmanship. You know what you build a read it, but you're gonna read it You know we get past it Tristan G Mike at the next one is coroner's office where you call their mom and pretend to be the coroner's office and they died Well, Jeremiah just I would say I would rather that then you then snorting my own come tell parents You're naked and sing a song better. Tell that bitch. I'm dead. Yeah, tell her twice I did all the people all the people with dead parents. You're like, what ever do you deal I don't even remember what he's like to have parents Where mom or dad or grandma or whoever is the closest thing to a person who would care next to kin next to kin Because I I see you guys have a kid. That'd be fun. Tell your kid. Oh, yeah. No, yeah, it has to be their kids do the No, no one no one here is procreate now they're all lying What if cerebral pals got nine kids? It's the only thing that works on them We're talking or not. He is Latino There it is. It's all the animal penmanship. Okay. It's not good. Yeah, but I like I like the skull, but he was fun You did fun skull was fun. You were fun. You're German. Thanks. We're judging everyone's penmanship now God drink a shot of piss Cooled are hot. They call that the Arya Shafir in the business fresh from tat I was about their own piss hot coming out but into a cooled glass. No, I know yeah I think we should have to shake it. I think real chill. I think warm is the way you'd want it wouldn't it? I don't want it at all Hold up. It should be in a martini glass like a chilled martini You are the world's best producer. Oh, man. Oh, fuck it's slime that producer Hold my legs back for me. We just bite that on this wood Drink yes. That was great. And there's piss and it's only yellow one. Oh That's good. Smart did that on purpose our family. I just some creative liberty. It didn't go on notice my man All right, go ahead. Okay. I thought of this one because we had to add a couple more last week hemorrhage didn't want to do this shave your face Shave your face, but your whole face eyebrows Head just face face Shave your face. I like it. I like it put it on the board. It's it's literally on the board eyelashes. Can we yeah remember if hemorrhage did that He'd still be yes, okay. Yeah hemorrhage didn't want it We we have put a healthy amount of icy hot on your balls I've I've done that and on my butthole before I did it on the balls and it was it was I left shut down the show I left skanks early you guys kept doing it, but I had to leave I Let me shut down for a while. We tried to get you to like I milked my ball. I put it milk which turns out Milk has nothing to do with it. It's not as hot as it's down. It's just a scoble meter or whatever now all it does But the milk did do because it was cold. Yes, was it numbs your balls for a second? So you think it's gone and then I went and set back down And I ended up having I ended up having the fucking leave I fucking I see hot on injured body parts The way you're supposed to yes, they're usually just his balls Have you overtaken don'ts back pills and listen to pink Floyd, man, it's fucking crazy dog Okay, icy hot you got All right bring it over here wouldn't that we were at sex. We need he drew balls Thank you for those balls. All right the last one we have for that we came up with that meme Tristan came up with which was eat a cake Yeah, you're okay. We sounds good edgy It's not an entire cake, but it's not an entire cake, but it's it's a good idea It's and he also gives somebody a chance to have one. It's not that big of a deal. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. Eat a cake. Okay, but what if we put dried commonside Listen if somebody wants to snort come off of a cake that is fine. They also don't get any milk no milk zero milk It's like the Matilda scene. You know, oh Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce Bruce. Yes, come on. Brucey. You can do it God Lewis your penmanship is just I'll like It's humiliating both of us. He's doing great. I can't believe what he's doing. He's like I drew a cake. Oh look at you Why don't you round the bottom if you're gonna make the thing three-dimensional jang bottoms flat Erase the bottom and make a circle make more of a parked bottom mirror the mirror the bottom line at the top No, now I'm gonna put it on a table. You guys didn't go over this now now. It's on a table. It's right again Now it's correct again. This is actually a bit that's planned. Okay. Now you're gonna do it wrong the first time This is fucking 40 chess No, we don't we don't have one yet. You know, we got a name. We got to pick another one So we need three more and let's fucking I think you do classic classic bits from the show One of my suggestions was that we killed one of their fathers Capital murder. Why do we ask women in the audience? I think it should be you think a woman can have an evil mind enough There's nothing going to their women. They're stupid What if what if you do a Charlie Kirk imitation like you're saying what he said and you just fucking drop back Like he's got whacked in the fucking neck. Can we shoot him with BB gun so do we have one? No Come on dude. I mean just write Charlie Kirk on there. I say I say take female suggestions until each Oh, I say what about I've a blue gun in my house. You should just told me to bring it up. They take a full-fledged Kick to the nuts from a hot check in the audience (audience applauds) - Thank you. (audience applauds) - That sucks. - That does suck. - That sucks. - It's not good. - That hurts. - How many interns are we trying to get this down to? Just for clarification? - Well, here's the thing, technically, we can have a winner tonight, technically. - If three drop or whatever. - Yeah, yeah, so one person's going through and gets immunity from the next challenge tonight. - Like survivor. - Yeah, but the three other people, if they refuse to do their challenge, they go home. All three of them could go through, though, technically. - Well, they're still a bunch of them. One of you get me a fucking Heineken. - We got to pick more. (audience laughs) We got to pick more things. - I'll take one. - I'll take one too. - Get Stanley a fucking Heineken. - Master bait to completion. All right, Jeremiah, you're writing this. (audience laughs) - Well, they're gonna have to do that if it's their own nut. - They're gonna. - What if two of them slap box in front of us? - Ooh. - I'm gonna call them the punishments, though. - Don't be an asshole. (audience laughs) - Oh, you just wanted to bring up slap boxing 'cause we don't. - Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm doing. - That's what undefeated luscious gags slap boxing champion, Jeremiah Watkins. - It was crazy. The way you humiliated him from his own people. - No, I just happened to like slap boxing. I wasn't bringing that. - Did you know? - I just want to see it. - Do you know the Lewis had to grab himself by the bootstraps and start his career from scratch after that? - Do you remember that I broke my finger? It was so bad, not only did I lose slap boxing, but I seriously injured myself with an injury that lasted over a year of physical pain. - Did it really? - Yeah. - I didn't know that. - That's how bad you beat his ass, dude. - Dude, Iron Chin Watkins. (audience laughs) By the way, if somebody was named Iron Chin Watkins, everyone's thinking of black guys walking in. (audience laughs) - Or an Asian guy. - Watkins? - Iron Chin. - Oh, okay. - What about, how many more do we need? - We have coming twice. - We need two more, two more. - Well, that's an Epstein Island, like the fuckin' temple tattoo. - What? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Get an Epstein tattoo. - I'm gonna do it right now. - Oh, that's what I'm gonna do. - Dude, I thought it was milk for a second. I got so excited. - Get 'em milk! - Not sec milk. - It's not joke. - First thing. - All right, come on, guys. We need two more punishments before we send them out here. - Um, uh, uh. - You know, bleaching. We have to go send somebody for anal bleaching. - Nasty, yeah. - Paco has an idea. - Wait, hold on, Paco please. - Paco has an idea. Thank you, Paco. - Uh, so you trim some asshole hair and make them make a Hitler's mustache and it's called shitler stash. - It's pretty good. - Shitler stash is a. - It's a throwback. - It's a throwback to you, Ari. But trimming that much ass hair is gonna be pretty difficult. I would say pubes and ass hair combined. - You know what I'm talking about. - The shitler, I think it was fun. - Absolutely. - But to be fair, I'll think a lot of these fans here probably would have. - Paco, I assume you're gonna donate the ass and dick hair? - If needed. - Let me look his eyes as well. - Wow. - Can we, as a suggestion, can we get a little bit of audience participation, maybe if somebody lands on that, we go around, we collect pubes from the entire audience. As many people that want to contribute as possible, we get a nice bucket of pubes. We're gonna need some spirit gum. - Write down crowd sourced shitler. You know what that means. - Where are we gonna get spirit gum this time and night? Industrial light and magic around the corner? - I think Poe probably just has some gum on it, we can call it spirit gum. - Yeah, I would say we can just probably do it with like a. - Just gum. - Blue. - No, we'll do with gum. - There's a Walgreens around the corner. - Yes, Paco, one more time please. - I'm sure we could get Jake's toes sucked. - Possibly. - Jake here? - Jake hasn't worked here in a couple of months. (laughing) - Jake, the whole thing, the whole thing. - Jake, I've resented Jake for the $500 videos that he owes us a half dozen times. - The fuck? - Wait. - Paco. - You're fucking. - Who's you money? - He owes me money. - That's the other way. He should be the way around. - I know. - That's how I entered. - Paco, where were you at fucking violin camp? Where the fuck have you been? (laughing) - That's crazy. - If you call off the dead, it'll show up to get his toes sucked. - Any audience suggestions for a final punishment? One more from the audience? - Dollar. - No, don't call it that. - I don't get it too much. - You got one? - This guy's got it. - Where? - What? - Where is the entire bottle of mustard? - There's my entire bottle. - It's higher bottle of mustard? - It's a genre yellow or spicy brown. - We already do. - Spicy, that's not bad, but I think we're coming down from drinking piss if we fucking out of it. - You're right, drink shit. - Look at that. It's easier to get one shot of piss. Can we do a piss drink with shit bulbat at the bottom? - Oh. - A couple of rabbit nugs. - We need that bottle of shit. - You have to two girls, one cup. (laughing) - Which one of you guys is on fentanyl? We need a couple of little shit bubbles. - Does anybody have to shit and throw up? - Is there an agent? - Is there an agent? - Is there an agent in the house? - What? - Hot sauce for you. - No, we're not trying to get you to the ice. - No sir. - That's gay. - What if that's us in the dick hole? - No, that's gonna get you sued too. - All right. - What about Bachelors Jeremiah's gayest moment? You have to fuck a pie, American pie style. - Ooh. - And not in it. (clapping) - Probably get an answer man is down over at Walgreens. - Do they get to pick the pie? - You go, it's his mid-town, no, this is fucking-- - Sherry, you didn't square it, you can find a pie. - I will say, somebody did just yell out gun in the butt, and we have a gun on the table. They have a butt, and that is the ultimate punishment for the Legion of Stanks, I mean. We've felt that we've done it before, you are. It's like when they make you get teased at police academy, like we know what it's like, and I'll tell you right now, it feels good. - I'll show you what dude, liberating. I've been very open to other people's ideas since then. (laughing) - Maybe we should have the right to bear on. (laughing) - Ever since I got my ass fucked with the gun, I've been really open to collaborations. - Yeah, didn't you start painting Jay? - Why wouldn't you let Jeremiah write it? You wanted to really try to catch up to how good my penmanship is. - Draw a gun in a butt. - I like how you took the idea of writing downwards like I did, wow, that's a real bite of shit. You're a copier. - This fucking infighting after 15 years is hard to see. - It is crazy. - Well, it bothers me now that Lewis is a copier. - Tristan's just getting so quiet because he's just so tired of this abuse. - I just hate him. I hate seeing mommy and daddy fight. - I just fucking terrible. - It hurts constantly peeking through a crack in the door in his room. - It's your fault because you're so good. - It's all Tristan's fault. - My name is Tristan. I live on the second floor. (laughing) - Thank you, Chris. No one else knows Luka by Suzanne Vega. - It's a banger. - About an abuse child. - Both songs are. - Should've done Janie's got it good. - Oh god, yeah. - Tristan's got a gun. - In his butt. - In his butt. - That's, yeah, it's called a holster, fellas. (laughing) - Wait a minute, are you raping Tristan at night? - No, I think his dad is and Janie's got a gun. - I think you're the dad here. - Oh. - They said when Tristan was arrested, they found him underneath the train. - Well, well, well, well, well. - Man, he had it coming. - Now that Tristan got a gun. (laughing) ♪ Now look at him, be the same ♪ - It's good. (laughing) - Yeah, I'm Sporting Murder J. ♪ Am I gay? ♪ ♪ Run away ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Murder J. ♪ - Man. - Murder J. - This crowd is so New York, they won't even cheer for Boston Legends Arrow Swift. I respect the hell out of that. (laughing) ♪ Murder J. ♪ - I don't know, they get a band, they get a band, they're a band, they're a little winger, no, I don't know. I'll do the whole solo. - We do, we do, we do. - Solo's happening. - Solo's happening. - This is a good bit. I don't care what fucking Tristan is then. - Sweet and impressive. - We've never relied on the actual studio audience. (laughing) This show is what we call counting on later last. - The other way, if you ever went on a road gig with me and Jay 16 years ago, that was the entirety of it. It's just us parodying songs of making and just changing one word. - Tell you what, dude, we got through about six hours to Montreal calling Deacon Blues by Steely Dan, Dick and Boobs. - Dick and Boobs. - That's good, that's pretty good, yeah. - Every time it came up and when the chorus was coming up, we'd look at each other like a dude, we're getting ready to do it again. - Again. - Call me Dick and Boobs, Dick and Boobs. - And that's it, we didn't change another word in the song. - Nope. Yeah, every other thing. ♪ Got a name for the renish in the world. ♪ ♪ Got a name for the renish in the world. ♪ ♪ They call Alabama the crimson type. ♪ ♪ Can't dare. ♪ ♪ Call me Dick and Boobs, Dick and Boobs. ♪ - Big Steely Dan audience tonight, holy shit. What audience isn't a Steely Dan audience? They started out, all right, listen, we gotta get moving on this. One by one, let's go, we have four spring turns left. You guys clap it up for your spring turn, Olympians. (audience cheering) - At the spring turn, Olympic arena. Here at the stand in New York City, Nut sack. (singing) - Wait, that's not the Olympic music. - That's the audience, dude. - Lewis, does body brain cell muscle shirts? - No, I think that's a self-made. - Yeah, that's a self-made. - I hope it is, dude. - I'm very sure. - If you still fucking chuck, fucking chuck, zero shirts. - You should, you should, you should. - You hung out all these shirts, sound fucking awesome. - Dude, you should definitely serve him with a cease and desist by the end of this fucking competition. - Dude, I would love for you to have him serve papers. - Ashwagandai, I love it, dude. - That's fucking horrible. - Road dog, just a James shit. - Dude, I love, I love hard-seemed muscle shirts. (audience cheering) - Thank you, Nut sack. It was in turn, it was in turn into a sleeveless. It was him for a dickhead. - Next up, we have, I have cerebral pals. What fan favorite? We have a lot of time. Take your cerebral palsy, take your time. We call him body retarded in the business. OK, OK. Brain A. OK, almost 100%. Hey, body brain. Yeah, no, he's no body all brain. And next up, we have gimmick. Yeah. They make getting a mile of applause, not really anyone's favorite. Professional wrestler. But he has really, he came back. He lost, but he came back. This has been quite the journey for him. I like the gimmick, it has fun. I like he has fun with his hair. What is the acronym for AS? Oh, article sound system. What does that mean? Smart band. Ah, shit. Article sound system. It's a band. This isn't going to help them. All right. Well, article sound system, you know, now our fans are going to duck to them. Thanks. Well, great. That'd be huge for them. Oh, I hope you don't like that, bang. She's got their kids threatened. Fuck you, articles. They've been swatted yet again. Well, I hope they're on Twitch stream. We're just dessert by the fucking three guys with fucking machine guns smashing through the world. They're in the middle of a 12-hour stream about God knows what. Can we hear articles sound system real quick while we bring up our final Olympian? Chad, are we-- Chad, are we-- [CHEERING] We love him. Where's Betty? All crutches. All crutches still has this for fun in a boot. This motherfucker's got his whole shit. We're not talking about booters. Is he Canadian? Huh? Does somebody talk about a boot? Is he Canadian? A boot? That's a good deal. I'll give you an answer again, man. Montreal. I'm high. No. What the fuck are you talking about? Get your hands down. Where am I? Shut up. Can we hear articles sound real quick with that penmanship? You need to stop, dude. I will challenge you to a full-fledged penmanship competition. Let's write a letter back home from the war. Spin the wheel, make the deal. Let's do it. Yeah, afterwards, we'll write a letter home from the war. I mean it in the nicest way possible. Oh, you're gay? I know you think it's stupid too. You're flaming homosexual. I tell me you fucked this chick. And I'll accept what this is. You pussy bitch. You're professional wrestlers. It's just your walk out music. Sounds like it is. Oh my god, dude. You can't wait to get pile-drived. Yeah, do you play this? So that's the chick, though, she's pretty hot, dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's trying to impress her. Oh, I like her, actually. I'm back in. What size venue is she performing at? She's toyed. I don't like her rapper hands. She opens for people, Irving and Webster. Oh, so she's fuckable. Oh, yeah, definitely. She dances like she owns three domain names related to Lewis's life. That's true. Do they have a picture of you with the venue? She performs that to say, don't let you in. And say no. Yeah, he was like, he's like, oh, those guys just horseradish. If you're a man, if you're a man who likes a female fronted rock group, you're a fucking pussy bitch, dude. You're a simply-- nobody likes-- you don't like their music. You think she's hot. And you're like, you know what, dude. Lincoln Park was good till bitches ruined it. Hell yeah, dude. God, oh, dude. Did you get a chance to our betting tin son is now-- And you said it, I want to do it after we-- Yeah, we'll talk about it. Yeah, we'll talk about it. All right, so all right. So here we go, guys. First up, Nurse Betty. Good luck. You're going to spin. Now you're not going to do this until we have to give you a chance to not do it. So this is-- you're just spinning it. Wait, we should put it this way. Yeah, we should put it this way. All right, this is good. Nurse Betty, with the first spin of the night. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. She's finished. No, spin again. She's finished. She's finished. Oh, that's a spin again. Oh, no. You got to shave his eyebrows. Shaving your eyebrows sucks dick. They take forever to grow back. That's it. That's it. That's it. You know what I'm saying? You were going to try to do another one. You got off kind of easy. No, they said they were saying spinning it. I almost was. I'm going to do it. That is cool. No, she ever says this. What do you got? That's your turn. You're spinning. No, yeah, you are. We know. Jesus Christ. The tension. We're going to bring us closer to $1, moves on to the showcase. That's it. You made their mustache. Shitler. Shitler mustache. Hold on. But he already has a regular mustache. He should have the shave his mustache. Yes. You will have to shave his mustache. You will add a pubes. Shitler mustache. Okay, good. Is your blonde lady in here? Sarah Paul. He's going to like Hollywood. David Lewis. Spin it for you. Sarah Paul. You better than anybody here. I believe. You need to come. You need to come. Can't have the same thing twice. You need to be a wristman. No, wristman, wristman. That's a wristman. Spin. Again. Ball. Ball. My name is Paul. It's for you. You will love Paul. I see how Paul. I see how Paul. Ah, shit. No, man. I hope he can't feel his bottom. That's Zach. Scum. Scum. We'll come. Come. Oh, no. Drink Piss. Drink Piss. Drink Piss. Drink Piss would have been one of my worst ones on here. Dude. Yeah. He's on keto again. Yeah. Are you making like one of those suicide drinks at a McDonald's? Just everyone's piss in one glass? Oh, by the way, when we were going to thought we didn't tell you this with cake, cake, eat a cake, was going to be, we're going to have to eat all of the ingredients separately. So a raw egg. Oh. The flour. You made your bacon a cake. It's strong. Like, yeah, you're going to literally put all the ingredients in. You're belly is the oven. Yeah, I love it. It's hot in there. So here's what we're going to bring. We cake, you fucking. See you guys all have a chat. You guys all have a punishment here. But we're going to give you an opportunity to not have to do your punishment. Why? Because we're going to give each of you guys a scavenger hunt to go on during the show. You guys can come back with some of these items. Thank you. These items. One of them is a whiskey on the rocks. These items are worth different points amounts. Oh. So certain things are more difficult than other things to get. Really? We have a bunch. We're going to give you a whole sheet. But there's like certain things like this. You need a lock of a stranger's pubes. A lock? A lock. What constitutes a lock? Jay. A full braid. How about this? An N word pass from a black person. Then use it. A living bug. An N word pass from a black person and then immediately use it. I just said that. On the black person. Oh, he has the right appear. Yeah. I don't know. A lovely spreadsheet. A log of human shit. A 20-second tight hug with a stranger. No less. That's worth 80 points. That's a lot of points for that. You guys are going to be fucking rack it up. The stranger can't be in this room. I was dirt from the top of the square park. The most fucking point. Is there a time limit? Here's the furthest place. They have to run there and back. They have to get there. That's the same as-- Well, obviously Paul can't do that. That's the same. That's the same as bringing home someone else's come in a condom. The same points. Yeah, I think that is actually skewed. You're correct. That's the thing. Yeah, yeah. The empty jar of mayo. You know what? They have to be back by 10 o'clock. Scanley could do the mayo thing. It's not-- listen. It's 9.08. They have 52 minutes. Whoever comes back with the most points. So they have to be able to evidence of all this stuff, right? Somebody's going out with them to make sure that they have to do it. All right, good. We have four other people to follow these people around. Yes. You guys better fucking get out there. Go ahead. Guys, you better get out there. Give them their sheets. Absolutely. Well, Dotsack won't put the door around a drink. Dotsack running for the door. Who's going out with that? Yeah, Dotsack. We need the audience. We need proof for Dotsack. Yo. Dotsack's at the top of the stairs. Oh, dude. Whoever got Syrup. You need to go out there. You need to get all the stuff. Oh, yeah. She goes, "Hey. Can I hug you?" Actually, this dude. He goes, "Actually, my friend." He goes, "She really wants you to hug me." Oh, yeah. I'll do it. Yeah. I'll let you take this lady if you give me half of your family. If I were cerebral Paul, I would take a fucking Uber to Times Square. You got to have cameras on. Can't buy a mic thinks that he's-- You guys just have a body camera. He can't see anything. He thinks that he's in a subway right now. Even without Dave as a guest, you guys have a body camera sponsor? It's crazy. The highest point thing is, take a picture with a character in Times Square. Then, don't pay. 1500 points. Do that three times and you fucking want. I say that if I were to have a guy, he'd just go do that. That's right. I said cerebral Paul should take a fucking Uber to Times Square. Yeah. 100%. By the way, I think Uber should be not allowed. Yeah. I kind of agree. I think it's only public transportation. He has to call and accessorize or get on the subway. Accessorize is going to take a fucking forever. Yeah, I know. I think you should be able to take a Uber. If he gets that done, first of all, if he's able to skirt away from someone who goes, "I'm not paying." And then fucking Kaiser Sosei walks away. Who's going to stop him? Three of those he can get. Not SpongeBob or Spider-Man. I don't know. I think Elmo's a little unhinged. You might just choke him the fuck out. Do you think anybody-- No, the log. What? They're not leaving? Well, anybody can make their-- their own log of poop, gentlemen. - Right, well, right, that's what I'm saying. - They all had glasses and they'll be pretty good. - Why is Mrs. Sack yelling across the room right now? - And they bring it in of somebody else out there? If they ganged up, you know what I mean? - Show them a second. - Let's explain this to them. Are you asking why your wife can't be the camera guys? - Hold on. - Okay, blind mic. What's going on? - He doesn't have the camera going, so I can't. Oh, and he's standing, he's standing. - Oh, because gay blind mic-- - Just go! - Yeah, you got a partner with a gay blind guy, dude. - You're a gay blind guy, you're a blind guy, you're a blind guy. - You don't have your phone, is that a special camera? It's your fucking cell phone. - He is a special camera. He's like, I don't know where I am. He's my little special camera. - You're a legion of Skanks internship is on the whole day. - Is this a cave? Are we in a mine? - He is sabotaging Nutsack right now. - Oh, dude, you should beat the shit up like that. - Nutsack blind mics. Like, are we in a mall? Are we in a cart dealership? - Oh, no. Am I here to do? - I feel like Nutsack really has a fucking plan. He's like sitting there fucking like the UPS guy and fucking Matt TV. - Damn, dude. Nutsack's gonna drink piss 'cause he's gay boy. - So how do one of them get eliminated? - By not performing their desk. - Or scoring the least amount? - Yeah. - Okay, so that's first, they are kicked off of the internship. - Spring, whatever the fuck. - Yeah, the Spring Turn Olympics? - I apologize, yes. - Yeah, they'll be kicked out. So the least, five, you know what? We didn't say that in the lowest-- - Hey, I said am gay, gee mic. The lowest score will go home automatically. - Got you, okay. - I said, I said Spring Turn Olympics. - I see, I said it too. - Fuck, what happened? - Come on, man. - When you say Spring Turn Olympics, things happen. - She's the whole thing. - Did you guys go over this on Saturday? - It was on Saturday. - The moment's passed. - Yeah, it's fine. - This is really made my sense. - He's locked with that. - My whole Saturday fucking throwing away for nothing. - So listen, what we'll do is whoever comes back with the lowest score is going home. They don't even know that. But that's happening automatically. - Even after they do their-- - Wait, wait, wait. What if they do-- - Just you know, cerebral pals, definitely still in the stare. - What if they do any three of the things on there? Some fucking weird shit. What if they drink piss while snorting coffee? - Right. - It's, oh, the moment's over, Chi-Mai. - Come on, I asked Spring Turn Olympics. Let's go. - All right, guys, look at the summertime. Everyone's party in the summer, whether you're on the couch or in your backyard in a barbecue. You got to do it with Inda Cloud. Look, if you're a skank, you get high. You got fucking problems. You've been getting high for a long time. Let's get real. And why not get high with incredible products sent directly to your door? Legally, all DEA certified THC. That is lab tested, everything from gummies, THG sodas, vapes, pre-rolls, high-quality flour, and more. Jay, I know you love your Inda Cloud. - What? - Oh, you're so baked, man. - Woo, let me see if I can read this. I'm so fucking high off there, whacked out shit. If you're 21 or older, sorry, Tristan. Go to IndaCloud.co. That's CO, not.com, you dumb, high shithead. Well, you're listening to this. Remember, it's.co and use code skanks for 30% off your first subscription order. That's IndaCloud.co. Code skanks for 30% off. Ship routinely and discreetly to your door. Plus free gifts on qualifying orders after your order. Make sure you tell 'em Legion of Skanks, ain't ya? Hey, Skanks fans, real quick. I just think one of our amazing sponsors for today's show, and that is Ultra Pouches. - Tristan, you do, I know you love 'em, dude. You're always charred on these things, dude. Just fuckin' whipping fastballs into my fuckin' cash. - Dude, you look like one of the cool kids while having my neutropics. - I have a full horseshoe packs right now. - Oh, dude, that's fuckin' dope. - Listen, Ultra Pouch. - I don't know that. - They're the neutropic pouches. So, instead of like nicotine or caffeine, they have alpha GPC in them and B12. They're great, they taste great. I use them winter green ones, they're gonna tropical ones. Look, all you know is, it's a better habit. You don't need the nicotine. They have all these different amazing flavors. And it's truly the ultimate guilt-free pouch, instant focus, mental clarity, no nicotine, no caffeine, and new customers can get 15% off with code Legion at takeultra.com. What's gonna takeultra.com? Use that code Legion for 15% off. - Yeah, Lewis Chegoma is bringing pouches back to the theater. - All right, let's take a quick moment of thanks. She's thunderware for supporting the show. All I wear. Look, this is it. - I see it. - That's showing off your fucking panties. - These are my undies, doggy. That's right. - You don't know how jealous I get. - I know. - It's great, dude. I'll turn it into my cock a sheath right now. Look, it's the best underwear you're ever gonna buy in your entire life. They have a tooth sheath. It's one for your balls, one for your penis. They make you look great. - True story, because they were UFC sponsor. Dustin Poirey probably wearing sheath thunderware when he almost tried to fight that black lady at the end. - Obviously, probably. - Don't spend another minute and then old ass underwear. - And don't take no shit. - Respect yourself. - Respect yourself. - Respect yourself. - Respect yourself. - And the self-west. - It's down here. - You've got the love of your hitting a bull. - Dude, why is Dustin Poirey riding an airline that you have to fucking free for all to get a window? - Sheath.com is a website. Sheath.com, use the problem I'll go to LOS for 20% off. And sheath even offers the first pair guarantee. So if it's not for you, you get your money back. But once you try sheath, there's no going back. That's s-h-e-h-t-h.com/l-o-s. And code LOS, we're 20% off. All right, where were we? - All right, so listen. - Goddamn. - There's been a lot of fun news, okay? - So much fun news, man. - One of the things that I thought was-- - Spring turn. - Spring turn up. - I missed it, missed it again. - One of the things that I think are pretty fun is this video came out of Elliott Page Boxing. - Oh yeah. - You guys on our Elliott Page, former Ellen Page. - Yeah. - Former Cronacute Check. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Fuck, that's he's a rip dude. - He's a rip dude. - Cronacute dude now. - Cronacute dude. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Did he get top surgery? Does he have a-- - Yes. - Yeah. - Damn. - Yeah, but how have you been a perfected top surgery? - They should have been me. - Like the nipples are all like off center and all fucked. - No, yeah, dude. - What's the fucking, it's a 16, 16, 16. - It's a 16, 16. - You need to turn it to a pack for sure. - And can I, Jay, you'll agree with me on this. There was a time in my life as a kid, like a very young kid, like 13, 12. We're knowing that that was a woman's nipple. Could have gotten me to jerk off to it. - Oh, of course. - Of course, what are you talking about? - Yeah, sorry. - It was a pre-fucking internet. - Yeah. - What we had was just that-- - Oh, yeah, that was a nipple. - It was a woman's-- - Did you get on the scramble? Maybe it's a dickhead, maybe it's a tittie. - Oh my God, I just realized that Ellen Page is an actual scrambled human. Like the scrambled channels, what makes Ellen Page? - Oh, yeah. - I can just say a pre-fucking. - It's crazy to say that you sucked Juno's dick. - Yeah, that is weird. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You see that dude and Juno, I blew him. - They're like, "Elly, if you use your nipples and your nipples and your nipples, I swallowed the babies." - I thought her pecs, I thought her strong pecs on my back as she entered me from behind. - Guys, those nipples, no matter what way we slice them. - They're chicks, for sure. - Sorry, woman. - If you fuck, if you fuck Elliot Page and suck Elliot Page nipples, you're sucking Ellen Page's nipples. - All right, yeah. - So don't feel gay. - Hey, remember in the movie hook? - Nope. - Yeah. - Do you remember, do you remember in the hook at all? - No, I'm an adult. - I'm a big hook guy over here. - He's a hooker. - Yeah, he's got a hooker. - You're seeing, come on, man. - No, those are-- - What's the scene of the hook? - So, the scene at where Robin Williams, the one of the kids realises that it's Peter Pan, he grabs his face and he stretches it back and he goes, "Peter," and he sees it that you are. - Yeah, there you are, Peter. If you do that with Ellen Page's, Ellen Page just chests. Just, you know, if you pull it, if you pull it just back, you can see woman's tits in there. There you are, Ellen. - You got to stop dead nippleing out of the page. - I didn't know which part of the movie you were going to reference, but that was freaking worth it. - Sometimes the journey is the fucking payoff, you know what I mean? - Sometimes the shoes is worth the squeeze. - The friends who made it along the way and the cum we drank, or snorted. - Well, yeah, you turn it right down to some material for stage. - No, I'm trying to write the name of the episode. - Dead nipple? - Yeah. - I like it. - Yeah. - She's like, this is a Saturday conference. - No, but there's a question about Ellie Page, but her box is, so she pulled the boxing video. - Wait, is this, is she unboxing a new box? That's a MacBook. - He's fucking ripped. - Wait, that's just that albino Paco. - It's not albino Paco. - Yeah. - Why the pool floaters? - I generally don't know. - Yeah. I don't understand either. - Is that a thing? - I don't think so. - Lose? - Oh, yeah, these pool floaters. - She's got a 12 round bow to the pool, so I store. - Who's that? - Is that the new pronouns for Ellie Page? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Go on, Lose, hence your question, so I can answer. Yes, I would knock this brood out in three seconds. - Brood? - Brood? - Yeah. - Well, yeah, I want to be respectful. - His pronouns are he, y'all. - She's a guy now, but she's a guy now, but she's gonna drop like a woman when I break her little fragile chick, y'all. - Did they're big dog, but like ironically? - Yeah, I mean. - Do you think she tried Coke before she did the test? - No. - What do you mean? - You know what I mean? It's like, I feel like you're just all of a sudden a chick and you get testosterone and you're fucking amped constantly. Like it's gotta make you just like be like, I'm gonna fucking fight pool noodles or whatever. - Well, I can't use my little-- - But Coke would also do that. - Well, I combined the two. - I certainly can't use my little flappy doctor-made weiner. We'll get the kick in some ass. How much does this bitch hate poo? Noodle. She fucking hates any floaty type device. Yeah, she's got black eyes on her glass face. Yeah, because she can't get wet anymore Oh, it gets wet. It gets wet, but it's kind of like like a like a goop on the outside Like a like a goop. Well, yes, obviously any any man-sized man is gonna be able to destroy Ellie's page What guy can't she be like a flyweight or strong? What about I think she could fuck game line mic up all hundred percent Yeah, let's take a similar size Tony Hinchcliffe. Just Tony Hinchcliffe beat Ellen. No, only page. I don't know maybe. Oh, yeah, I think so. I think so. I think yeah Like you know stand up competition No enough in a V in a person V pool noodle fight They both have to fight everyone gets full noodle everyone has taken the pool moon Tony's Tony's a sure fire win Joe the Rosa Never been in a fight in his life. We've been punched once and I think Joe Rosu would win I think Joe I've never been in a fight where he's fought back ever. I think Joe would win I think Tony would actually win to for maybe but I'm saying maybe Tony, but I'm saying Tony's Yeah, 115 pounders. It was a woman's team. Yeah, he got a scholarship because Every match was the locker room Wrestling this person wrestling division whose legs weren't at your feet from a lifetime wheelchair Defended on the mat, but I'm oh and 90 in the fucking locker room. He went in blindfolded. I was like I showed up for the singlet. He just walks in like the book of Eli. I'm I'm watching Elliott page throw punches and I'm telling you she might floor to Rosa You really think so the Rosa's never been in a physical There are shirtless pictures of him on the internet It looks like he's not here. It looks easy. He's a kid. Yeah, you're a fucking you're a woman. Yeah, hit me fucking fake cock Yeah, you've never had a sandwich before What if it was a sandwich fight, but he's like six. He is still like six two right like six one. Yeah, like he's a bigger I'm telling you he's never Been in a fight. He got punched in a pizza place once after a guy punched a guy punched a girl a guy punched the girl He was with and then Joe went oh come on man and then the guy punched you and they both sat there looking at drawings. What did the girl said? That's a that's a cuckled thing Well, Joe hangs in there. He may have still fuck there, but either way they fucked each other with fucking busted faces But Joe's not a fighter. He just never been in a conflict. So If she makes contact right away, he might be blown away by the whole Yeah, I think I think her hands are so tiny durosa right this might be right I'd like to just if I had the bet one of those nipples on the end of your arms If I had to buy the lay heavy money on a bet shit, let's think about take that out of it You have to lay a hundred thousand dollars on this pool and it's one to one. Yeah, I don't have odds When you go to Rosa. Yeah, cuz I get to see a weigh-in Sure, but I'll tell you what you don't get to see you can see it doesn't exist. You don't get to see durosa throwing punches ever I sparred with him one time with a sock on boppers and he caught me pretty good with one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah He's still a man and I agree. I think that Ellen Page is a particular five six. Let me tell you something I agree that he's a man I always across the board to try to go I'd say it's a hundred percent thing But I also don't know many guys who have never been and just even like a conflict it whether it be in high five one No, it's five one she's five wins. He could just swim wild like a 13-year-old black kid Are we talking about straight-up boxing dudes over by the way without box forget about boxing I think if I just if I could somehow find a way to get her in a corner. It's over But if you talk about it's like a full-blown fight like I'm gonna fucking a Hulk Loki Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try I said always I'm gonna to live I'm gonna treat her just a good girl Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna treat her like a girl and I'm gonna do fun fight things to her I'm gonna do like wrestling moves you can't do camel clutch. I'll see if I can get a tap to that Is she a dude there could still would I think I could drop her and keep her on the ground long enough to do a John a leg drop a Hulk Hogan leg drop To the three-year-old drop a Hulk Hogan leg drop you could I think I do I just kind of wave your end of the absolute a flaw a fucking a tribute to fucking God rest of soul and heaven Chris Benoit flying headbutt you think you get I would do the grapevine We all yourself all day won't we hope one day that we could be in heaven playing cards with Jimmy Hendrix Janice chocolate and Chris Benoit you know he's there you know he's there, dude He was just releasing those kids souls What do you think it was they make they make they make like smelling salt they make us family live across the street from him in heaven guys This really should he goes those kids weren't gonna grow up happy. They're father killed their mother Some people say it is real that yeah, listen Anyone's thinking about doing something crazy out there. Just know if you're gonna kill your wife You should also kill your kids because you don't want to live in with that was one kid, right? No, I think it was a couple No, I think it's just the one they made it three. It was the one a cerebral Paul. Oh, I think it was it was it's at least two possibly No, it's one kid. It's just a son get out of here. Yeah, I think of two dudes and then he hung himself on a Nautilus machine Like every hotel in the road he hung himself from both legs With a Thai bow VHS somewhere in the bow no suicide dude. That's so great I like to believe that he released some I'm trying I sometimes I look at my universal gym. I look at it I go, how did he do it? How would I tell myself why does it go? How did he do it exactly? I'm trying to think of the thing that he's gonna be that Yo, I see Krispin was trapped is not about that. It's about something yanked him up Jim and I'm telling you my stacks only a buck 70. It's not yanking me up I'm gonna be sitting there with my wiener in my hand and not dying That's why you were never ECW heavyweight champion god damn right. I was Barely legal. Yeah, there's there's no way to kill myself on my Reck in your house. Don't say that. Lewis Yeah, those are good tips dude. You can drown in those dude you could drown yourself in your basement In your constantly flooding basement. You're non-stop flooding basement. Oh, well now I have to get my basement waterproofed Turns out the pool was coming to you pal You know what sucks? Do you know what makes you furious? What why there's no justice in the world? Why? The people who left there knew that. Oh They knew And the Jews who flipped the house. Yeah They know yeah, I've had a couple things in my house. Sure, and they also flooded it I've had a couple things in my house. So I had to well the one that was before I'm maybe god flooded the house because he knew Jews Owned it before me the people sold to me got caught, but they were trying the fucking Sell the house. They knew that it was they had to redo the whole septic Which sucks. Oh, there's poop in your basement right now. No, no, my house, but I'm saying that was the thing when I bought it They were thinking here. I was like, yo, there's no point even checking the septic. It needs to be done It's like 40 years old or something and they were like so it has to be all redone and and they were like, oh really? Okay, I guess we'll do it like they had to do it New Jersey real estate pod. Yeah, absolutely. Here's the idea. I'd say start your price asking very low But tell them you have high interest. That's good. I'm very interested in the house. You have a flood zone I know that girl walk by and you were like is she hot and there's awesome titties or cancer? Yes I think she has cancer We say we're saying the way she turned around was so like me Do you think if it is cancer and we suck their tits we'd get powers? Because the radiation You suck her titties and then titty milk and just try to fly. I'm titty man I'm 100% positive the cancer is not sexually transmitted. So yeah, I don't know either. Well, at least the one thing Yeah, I know we saw the headscarf dude. We're not stupid. This guy said it is cancer. Is it is your girlfriend? But your wife's up fucking be in an asshole dude. Yeah, I'm sorry. Hey, can you go over there? So can we make your cancer wife? Dude, you fuck cancer into your wife? You piece of shit. Yeah, what a piece of garbage USDD cancer faggot. Oh My god, you have cancer cock you fucking scumbag. Oh, what a fucking fat cancer cock. What you did guys? Will you stop attacking this guy he sucks her titties. He might have powers. Oh, no, he looks like he has helped you guys are two insults away from laser eyes Just cutting your head and I'm gonna be over here because I feel terrible. Have you not seen the boys? This is how it happens. This is how the boys happens Sir your cock is radioactive. They caught it early. She's gonna live, dude Turns out this guy's got to break up with his girlfriend after all He was just like all of a sudden he goes I think your pussy tastes a little weird now This guy's a sidegirl friend. You go to the doctor. This guy to sidegirl friend his wife is like I have cancer and he was like sweet Hold on is she sensitive about it because we have to stop talking about which comes back and She's not she's cool with all this no way dude. Yeah, it's cancer Cancer and she's retarded You give me once before do you give me cancer? Oh no Oh hell yeah. Stop showing us that you still have your hair asshole. What an asshole. Of course, I know this guy for sure. He comes all the time. She wears a wig sometimes No, no she he she fucks a wigger sometimes. Yes. No, all the time. Yeah, you miss all the time They caught it early. Did the chemo is pubes going to But I mean, but now yeah, but now it's not fall from razors. It's fall from like baby Oh, it's it's not it'll be listen me. There's never a smoother pussy than chemo pussy hair falling out It's different than shaving hair. I have that I have that written in wood in my kitchen. Yeah, of course, dude It's next to your live-life love We get his pull a couple out with this fucking this challenge. We got to do with the only it was the only upside of my mom Getting cancer was that her pussy became so smooth. I know dude. That's true. You can lay on it It was just stop getting fucking razor burn on his face. There was a girl. We all knew at one point It was a photographer who had alopecia. Oh, yeah, I thought and she had You know her whole body, so her pussy was totally bald, but the one time I went to her house to take pictures American no, she had an above ground pool This always made me laugh at this. She was cute. She was kind of cute Especially for at the time where we were at in our lives. She was like a Lewis and Jay dated her for a little bit Yeah, you loved her. No, I didn't date her for a little bit. I'm saying her friend. I did I'm saying but I would of them Say you have to care. That was a girl. I would like hooked up with a bunch. Maybe a Lewis and Jay for this time 15 to 17 years ago a Lewis and Jay eight Sure, a today two Look how far you've come four, but anyway She had an above ground porterhouse in Queens and I went there. It Queens. Yeah, she always wore a wig with a bandana over it You draw her eyes. You draw her eyebrows on really So with those like real hoax your energy. Yeah, with those things she was cute But I always thought the it's for some reason always made me laugh just thinking of the idea that if she came home with a guy first date Didn't tell him anything and then you want to go swimming on backyard sexy and then I just always pictured her for some reason screaming cannonball Jumping in and then the guy sees like the guy sees like a wig and a bandana floating on the point goes What the hell is that and then this fucking cadaver plops out of the thing with no eyebrows and a ball He goes He's what he jumps out of the lake. Yes, yes Could you imagine going over the cute girl and then she comes out of the fucking cannonball with no eyebrows hair or Dude if I saw a chick with a bandana on out, I'd be like, man, I just can't see. I'm gonna fucking throw a little cock. No Hey, it's going on. Hey, hey, hey, it's going on Johnny we we we we were out. We named you cancer tits Yeah, it's got great to us. Oh nice. Did that come with the chemo? Was it like a two-for-one? No Just go to the only one do that be your only fans come with chemo. That's a sick Oh, yeah, do come on Yeah, come out with see with C.A.F. C.H.U. MMO guys what she's he said she's cool with cancer jokes Now the audience is icing us out Can I get that can't your lady some drinks? She wanted to laugh about it You guys are making her feel bad about stuff. He's a shit. She's just like us. So we don't have cancer It's wrong with you guys. Yeah, what the fuck is wrong? You piece of shit. I'm sorry, man We love this can't just like if anyone needs milk in here. It's her Jeremiah's right Lewis. What do you think's happening with his guy who owns three bodegas and the girl who works the counter who he's fucking? I don't like it. What's guy? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I ate some of the pizza earlier You ate some of the pizza. Oh, you know what? He's jacked. I just saw it. He's older than her, but he's jacked He's got an ex-wife who's fat Damn, huh? No ex-wife ex-husband used to be gay Get a boyfriend. I think you turned it around. Thank you church camp. Does he look like he looks like master shake after the surgeries? Guys got a very square joke. I said a John hammer over there Yeah, he's deadly. He's tapping like a lit clavicular. Yeah, how many big booms do you give this podcast today? Here yeah, by the way, this woman is 23 years old already in abuela Let's real quick. Let's do some plugs. We have a lot more show. We're waiting for the boys to come back We'll see how many of the you think it's going well or poorly I think that I think that cerebral pals dead on the side of the road right now. That's so sad I mean that could be anything nut sack has been arrested at this point I think nurse Betty just went home music. This is not worth it. I have a real job That's gonna real job and I think gimmick is gonna be the only one who shows up with anything. Okay, what everybody do fourth at your lie? Sorry, let's do some plugs. Oh, no, I'll suck my own dick. What happened? Just do it. I want what everybody do in the fourth of July and you went Let's do some plugs real quick. I'm sorry. I have a sudden a plug. Is that a plug? So plug it up. What do you think Chris? Obviously check out high society radio right here on the gas digital network Myself in KP Burk will be at Co-headlining at tri-state comedy club on July 24th this month check that shit out Check out nuts of a go at me and my character and go check out a show from the armoured league We're both always doing live commentary in the building chair of the armoured league next show is July 23rd at Melrose Ballroom in Queens, New York Christopher Again high society radio on gas and no YouTube betting tin on serious XM a noon on fashion talk one of three Monday through Friday Abundance and SXM on Instagram stand man for 2069. It's a great follow on Instagram and Twitter. So people say that to you. What's weird? And I gotta go take a cold piss so Jeremiah take it away Jeremiah walkins Check out my my shows trailer tails and stand up on the spot big J is on our Hundredth episode of stand up on the spot that comes out next week and then I've a yeah 100 episodes of stand up on the spot, and then my special my new one-hour special crazy pizza comes out on September 10th for free on my YouTube Please go there now subscribe Hit the bell for notifications, but yeah, it comes out in a couple months, but yeah, appreciate you guys having me on show me a little I'm sorry. I feel like I didn't pay attention for a second did you plug the heckler? Oh I mean, it's pretty great. It's it's pretty wild. There's there's also a video on my YouTube called The Nightmare Heckler That is so pretty and it's one of the craziest hours of comedy that I've had to do that it was like it was a room That it was one of those rooms that you have to babysit that for a whole hour where you're just being attacked on all sides And there's a fan that turned against me. He ripped my merch office back and threw it at me on stage and it was wild It was it's a mess. This is my clip from it. It's great. Thanks. Check that out. So funny Love it trust somebody plug it my friend. Oh, you can see me at the comedy cabin who Wisconsin September 3rd headlining Before featuring the rest of the weekend with Lev Ferr and you can see me on my other podcast the modern apes and also cock fight with Lev Ferr and Problem Terrell the boys we're back in town three for life Big Jay Big Jay comedy I come for all my dates this weekend Harrisburg sold out five shows Through Sunday, so There might be some standby tickets. They might add some seats. So if we can we will I've got a couple things coming up usually it's up on the screen. I'll give a shit though. We're just in Virginia Winnipeg Great outdoors festival There she is Levittown Long Island governors. That's right. I'm coming home to get paid in cash. Olo robbed me in the parking lot He gives me all of it in cash Mark Ridley's comedy cast a world of Michigan. I'm coming back there for the first time in a long time Albany and so many more Greatest y'all for life tour happening right now big Jay comedy dot com for tickets. Listen to the bonfire five days a week fashion talk Faction talk. What? Series X and 103 of me and the great Robert Kelly and of course story awards right here on the gistage on that one And always What's the Kevin Hart roast people said it was People said a lot of bad things about it Come see me on the road right on me this tour this weekend Baltimore, Maryland Four sold out shows, but they just told me they just released like 10 tickets for sure I think something like that. I think there might be able to you but be able to get tickets, but you know you could try But maybe not, you know, I mean I've been trying all week. Yeah, we'll see if you guys try like there's a lot of urgency here Maybe just try. Yeah, I mean I would try guys try You know Baltimore's crazy. Yeah, a lot of people don't show up with those seats. Yeah So, you know, it is sold out though four shows. I did four only four. I know you did five honors for me. Yeah, dude. That's a lot for the port Sunday at 5 p.m. It'll be light out when we're done. Yeah. Yeah, we thought about adding your early show too, but maybe we're gonna do that We don't know, but anyway the port Baltimore this weekend Then I got Denver comedy work south coming up at the end of the month. I'm very excited about this never been to comedy work Lots of great things I've heard so please come out to those shows as well. Lafayette Louisiana Lake Charles, Louisiana Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Portland, Maine and more Luzofskanks.com get those Skankfest tickets all excess passes Skankfest x Skankfest 10 or 10th anniversary the biggest one we've ever done We've done biggest lineup crazy surprises. It's the number one comedy party in the fucking world. If you guys were into Orleans last year, you know exactly what we're talking about. It was the biggest investment we've ever done. It's only gonna be better this year. So get those tickets at skankfest.com and check out all the positive dude right here on guest digital. And if you love guest digital, if you love uncensored comedy, go to guest digital.com. Subscribe for guest digital and you guys get the entire library on demand, uncensored, ad free, thousands and thousands of hours of content that you can't get anywhere else. Plus, we do a bonus episode of Legion of Skanks every Friday night, the Friday night hang. And you get pre-release on all of our episodes. All of the episodes are ad free. Go to guest digital.com. Use the promo code LOS. Get the apps for Android and iPhone. All right. - Thank you. - I'm very much looking for a skankfest this year 'cause I don't remember anything from last year. - Oh, you were fucked up. - I was essentially, remember we get in Bernice II when just music played and then he moved around a bunch. - It was at one point Chris had an arrow shot through his head. - Dude, it was crazy. - Like, see if we get a Bernice II. - I was tugging, I was tugging the fucking ferris wheel into the water. - Can you pull up a scene from "We Get a Bernice II" where he's at the arrow shot? - That's the my favorite scene in "We Get a Bernice II." - Yeah, we've got the Walkman on 'em 'cause they need the music so we can be as I thought. - I thought you were talking about Steve Martin's old act. - No, "We Get a Bernice II." - He did an arrow. - How do we get to "We Get a Bernice II"? - Yeah, I don't know. - We're doin' it for "We Get a Bernice II." - We covered the entire first "We Get a Bernice II" while you were, I don't know. - We watched it, you were pissing for a while. Get your prostate checked, dog. - Dude, I gotta be honest, I panic when it's a movie. I don't know well and I'm not gonna know that all the references I start panicking. - I'm not gonna hide you. - I can't believe you have this "We Get a Bernice II" fucking gassed you. - That's crazy. - No, no, no, you don't know. - I can make reference, but I never saw it. - You never saw "We Get a Bernice II." - I never saw the Godfather. I can make tell the rest of it. - I was just, you know, you know, I only think Godfather too better than the Godfather for "We Get a Bernice II" "We Get a Bernice II" "We Get a Bernice II" - You saw one. - I watched one. - That was my mom's favorite movie. - What a joke. - He really was a junkie prostitute. - It's crazy, she just really can't get his dad's corpse. - Every roll of the dice, that lady comes up junkie prostitute. Doesn't she though? Every fucking thing. She thought Macaroni and cheese was high-faluten. - Bernie moved a lot of code, so it makes sense. What happened? We're gonna bring his two, was he? - Yes, he has ever, if he hears music. - He comes back alive. - There's a voodoo curse. - He comes home. - He comes home. - He's in a Caribbean. - Yeah. - In a year, he's gonna live show music. - He just starts to piss. - All right. - It's good. - We should do a Friday night hang. We can't afford to still watch. - No, I'm show down. Can I please? - 100%. - Fucking, I love that move. I've never seen any of these movies. You've been mentioning all night. - We gotta do it. - You're in for a treat. - I think we have to do revenge in the nerds and really defend the fact that those girls weren't nice to those nerds before he raped her. - They're much of rape. - It was a revenge rape. - It was, but it was like, but I mean, they were so mean to them. - Yeah. - Still, still rape. - Wait a second. What if they were mean to them? - Oh, it's not rape. - Oh, dude. - Then it's not. - What if their boyfriends were just like shitting in their house and like doing weird things. - He was fucking crazy. - It's rape adjacent. It's not rape. - It was it ain't it? - No, it was rape, all right. - Not full-fledged rape. - Are you gonna do it for real? - It was fucking, it was the definition. - That was just fucking Darth Vader and a fucking moon bounce. - That's fucking now. - She didn't say no. She said, "Oh, yeah, did I do that again?" - Can I play devil's advocate with Lewis here? - Please. - A little bit. 'Cause I feel like he's on an iron right now. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Pull it up. - He's on an iron. The idea, this girl has, she's in college. She's hot. She's fucked, but she's fucked two of the most popular guys ever. - I mean, they were very popular. - It was ogre and then Ted McGinley. - No, no, just Ted McGinley in college, but there was a stud in high school. She was fucking also. Do you know what I'm saying? So she's fucked two guys who probably were strapping with fucking thick, feisty, athletic dicks. - Okay, sure. - So I think when nerd puts, has unprotected sex, puts this fucking nerd dinging inside of her. She, something in her was like, this isn't him, but feels fine. - Yeah. - Sometimes that, sometimes that was better, because you know, all the woman's pleasure receptor is only four inches in the vagina, yes. - So no. - It's a great fun fact. - Well, I don't even know the receptors are alive. - Boy, four inches in. - I'm not saying that. I'm saying that it doesn't matter that he tricked her because she didn't say no. He found the loophole. - But all of the receptors are all four inches in. - The loophole was a rape loophole. - Really fine. - I'd still, it's not fine. - If you must. - So anything over four inches is just bonus. And I'm. - It's either we're a Darth Vader mask and get a moon bounce or be in the mousad and own an island. It's one of those two things. - She ain't really hammering the four inch thing. - I guess what I'm saying is, if six inches isn't enough, you're, something's wrong with your pussy. - It's their fault. - It's their fault. - It's their fault. - What are we talking about? - I'm not sure. - I don't know if I want to watch. - I think it was the four inches of life. - The four inches of life. - Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying life. - We get it Bernie's though. - Well, by the way, you can't get over the rest. - A six inch thick is two inches too much. - You can't get over the rest of the nerds on streaming services. You know that? - It's like it all off you. - You can buy it. - You can find it. - You can find it. - You can find it. - You can find it. - Yeah, of course. - I also, somebody set me like a link. There's like links to find it. - Oh, you can't. - But you can't. - I had to like stream it from a weird streaming site to my team. - Something you have to like, you have to x out of the ads first. - What? - Up the ads. - Up the ads. - Up the ads. - Up the ads. - It's streaming. - This is what you're watching. - Yes, dude. - So I could show my son rape, I don't do it much anymore but I've watched so much illegal movies on computers in my life. - Do you do that any day? - I know the look. I know the look of a fake play button. - Sure. - Yeah. - You see the pic you go, this is gonna just take me. - You're just trying to trick me. - You're just trying to get me to buy a fucking inverse. - You guys haven't even tried AI yet. - I'll play your game. - And then I keep buying all the things the ads do. - I'm broke because of it. I got Amazon affiliate link really wants me to buy this weird potato slicer. - This is an inflatable nightclub fucking say less. - I need it. - Do you have any fucking electric scooter bikes I have in my house right now? - I have no idea why I'm pushed, I'm pushed often. - I've so much fun. - I think I watch a YouTube video on a once but I'm pushed on social media often. The inflatable backyard nightclub. - Yeah, 'cause I wouldn't want that. - I can't believe it's real. That seems like it would be fake. - I can't click on the part of that. - They just need your T-Payne but poor. - Maybe it was a fucking COVID product. - The inflatable nightclubs were taught. - There's only grandmas in your neighborhood. - No, it's in a dumb way, it's a dumb thing to have. - Like retarded like nut sack or retarded like cerebral pole. - Wait a second. - What do you mean it's a retarded thing to have an inflatable nightclub? It's a very silly, fun thing to have. - Chris, can I do a chat by that? - I don't even need a part of the show. - I had to think of it. - I had to back yard, I might have an inflatable nightclub. - I understand you're a guy who would charge people to come into an inflatable nightclub and be like, I'm a mogul. - Yeah, you were so funny. - I would dress like the bounce of a Roger Rabbit. - Dude, you'd be like Snowfall, you'd be like this. - Staying in your fucking club going, looking at it's all going perfectly. - Snowfall's been off coming up. - Can I tell you? - Yeah. - Nobody got a Snowfall reference. - That was just for me. - It's been off's coming up. - Come back guys. - Just got a snowball, sick show. - The widest guy here with the widest girl here. - Lewis. - It was like Snowfall, dude. - It's been off coming. - Okay. - Has it caught your hands if you watched Snowfall? - Snowfall is about bumpy jobs. - Oh, fuck yourself. - Three yourself. - Go home the night and start it. It's black breaking bad. (laughing) Did you like breaking bad? Oh, you racist. - But it's the life story. - We have black break. Open your mind to black breaking bad. You fucking race. God damn it, dude. What the fuck is that? - Hold on. - I'm eating every week. - I keep telling people we have a diverse audience. This woman's pulling all the weight. And she didn't see the other one. She saw this one. - One person clapped. One person wants Snowfall. - Snowfall. - But this woman watched Breaking Bad. And she's ethnic. - Which one is Snowfall? What is that about? - It's about the crack epidemic coming in with the CI. It's so good. - It's really good. And I showed it to Jay. - He did. He told me to do it. - This is so good. And it is. Jay hates the fact that I showed it to him. And he loved it. - Well, I always, there's a caveat. When I say I go, "Lewis said to watch you." I held off on it for a while. I go, "Well, Louis is dumb and probably likes awful things." And then I watched it. And I was like, "Damn, he nailed this one for some reason. He must have had a smart girl. He was dating at the time." Nope. I was that smart girl. Oh, hand dirty. - Oh, yeah. Louis is a smart girl. - Louis is a smart girl. - I looked out on the sand. There was only one. - Set of footprints. - Set of footprints. - It's where the hot girl carried you. Which is also you. - It's the hot girl. - To the television industry. - I'm trying to give you a catchphrase. You could have killer merch like me at SkankFest. I'm gonna sell out SkankFest merch, dude. - Your merch says, "I like Snowfall." - Fucking love merch. - Not bad. - Yeah. It's a thumb hand because he told me about Snowfall. - Dude, you gotta figure out something. - You gotta figure out something. That dominates SkankFest merch with my Black People rule shirt. It's gonna sell out. - You're gonna be the next Jeff Bezos. - It's very possible. - Can I tell you, Jay? - No. - You gotta be honest with you. I can also see this going in the way of our happy, happy wash of wash of shirts. - No way, dude. I'm pre-ordering 7,000 shirts. - That's not enough. - People are gonna buy some to bring home the family and friends. - Yeah, it's gifts. - Some people might want to because they might think you might not make it. - Of course. Also, it's a white. - Louis is one. - Well, if you get to ship it out of you and a black person takes it off your body. - Let me tell you how I thought it out. I'm the kind of person. It's a white shirt at the end of the day with black. black writing for black people rule. - Smart. - But the white shirt will get dirty quick, so you might buy two. You're like, "Well, in three years, I'm gonna have to toss this one. "I want another three years." - Everybody. - Louis, your thoughts? - Sorry. - I don't want to, and maybe Chris can jump in on this as well. - Are you gonna use it in my yumps right now? - I'm about to use your yumps, please. - I will say that from my experience with "Scanthus" merch, white shirts sell like 120th as much as black people. You need to do black shirt with white riding nope. I'm people on it. I need black shirts. Yeah, I'm the people bolt Everyone else is not the shirt. It's not the shirt me. It doesn't matter I asked I'm gonna have a lot of backlog good with you guys rather have the original shirt Clap if you'd rather have the you read the shirt then it's white. It's a white shirt. You'd rather have me change the original shirt Different and you buy you buy it more if it was a different color. You know, it's not have the original shirt If I should make a black shirt with white riding Okay, okay, what about I was right. What about a black shirt with black riding on? You just sell black t-shirts. That's getting fast. How about this go to a big at all black shirt black face Black Friday sale half all how about this That last part's good. How about this though? for For a black with white riding black people rule shirt $40 for a hundred dollars. You also get the white version They don't want How about this it's only $60 more dollars slave auction Friday afternoon The J is pushing a black people roll shirt, but it's like no, no, but it's got to be white Well, no, it's from so we did you wear to a white party out in the hands. Diddy No, we went through if you could bring up a clip in first. I just like this picture We have an intern returning go get me a Heineken if you can see it is it's 10 o'clock? Oh Wait, you're back 12 minutes early Go get me a Heineken. You don't care. You've given up on it I could use a diet I can go whiskey. I need to make a little Remember the Diet Coke I'll break your other foot a bottle of Diet Coke Diet Coke you gimp shit head bring out your camp. Is there regular coke? We'll revenge on the nerves the shit out of you. Oh My god this show is wild I'm really shocked he gave up 12 minutes of his fucking precious He must have got a lot of dick here super super confident. He has a broken foot. It's pretty simple. Do we have a digital He was like I'm I can't feel my I can't feel my toes. I have I'm in pain This he has to be tight. It's cutting off blood circulation We I need to I hope getting a Jew to hail Hitler in Times Square was not Because I I could after that my feet went points. Yeah, was that not on the list? That's very good getting a Jew to hail Hitler But is it somebody calling themselves a Jew they have to be visibly like oh you should be able to tell from fucking From fucking beaked to toes. I mean I mean I mean just Jeremiah. I mean if you're outside. Oh, oh, there's a guy shaking a pair at him going now Are you Jewish like three months out of the year? That's a real attack on someone who is your Tristan Boling Oh, is that are you gonna smoke up that thing's like a fucking Hannibal from a team cigar That is a fat ass fucking shout-out to annoying laugh guy But what's going people love him here people there are people annoying like a sweetheart There are people on the internet that they met you. They would fucking slice your throat Yeah, people hate your laugh, but anyone that meets you dude. He's the sweetest. He's a sweetest guy. That's why no one complains And by the way as someone who's lived with if someone who's lived with what could only be described as a Like an ear-wrenching laugh for so many years annoying laugh girl Is that when they laugh he that he knows he doesn't want to deal with the repercussions of what that terrible laugh is that means He's really laughing and when you have some laughs like that and they laugh they go they're laughing because they know everyone's kind of like Oh my fucking no one's ever like that's awesome for the problem of knowing life guys. Yes, there's a disease that The Joker had in the Joker movie where like he laughs when he gets nervous and angry. Oh Crazy that joke I thought you many fell in acid now he laughs at everything Jeremiah what did your Joker? How did your Joker become the Joker? I auditioned for it. It was no. No, I mean how did his cat which which more which version of the story is it he fell in acid? Yeah, I mean it's the cartoon kids version so they didn't really touch upon it too much, but I'm guessing Oh, he just is the Joker. There was no yeah, they didn't really share the back story Yeah, he's just like he's more silly. Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, well, well such a pleasure to be on Legion of Skanks Joker it's time to play who's most justified saying the n-word That's a game I can be playing He turns himself back into the asylum the Joker you skinned Robin's parents alive Jason Todd is death with a crowbar Commissioner Gordon's daughter at one point at one point you took Mr. Mixie's Felix powers and then raped Batman every day for a thousand years in the span of one and Joker Joker as your as your public defender let me just fucking say all these things are above board, dude You're good. You're good to go. It said you couldn't afford a real lawyer temporary in sand. Yeah, temperate You've done all of these things you can't say the n-word or you can't even play a game called who's most justified? Really rather if you'd please the Joker would like to plead. It was a different time Different time dude, they were still the word to appear in comics to blasio was running Gotham City You're abusing your psychologist girlfriend to the point where she would do anything for you And yet can we say this you can't say the n-word and can we say this all that all those accusations coming from Third parties never me to the Joker Through proper grooming by the Joker. Oh my god. This guy's going to an Epstein island everything stayed off the radar Harley Quinn was a fucking West Palm high school student She recruited she recruited the old Joker. That was the Jolaine Maxwell. Yes. Are they going? Jeffrey Epstein is just Bruce Wayne if he chose a different Am I right dude? How much is Elon Musk should be a vigilante? He's just a dog chasing cars. Yeah, he's an autistic vigilante. Yeah, wearing dress pants and cowboy boots. It's cool, dude alert Yeah, he's never going to be able to sneak up on anybody cool dirt cool, do the war. Yeah, it's just blasting from his belt buckle at all times I didn't know it's Chris is a personal view with you on most He's a piece of shit. He's got even garbage. It's a human garbage. Why I don't I don't I'm saying that I'm informed I know he hailed Hitler and he found a way to send people in the space that aren't NASA Well, you know, you know SpaceX He's reach towards up there. Yeah, Tony Hinch left tells me they get rid of our Mexicans and brings in our hot sauce. It's great Fuck it. He's gonna kill everyone's fucking pensions, etc. It's fucking he's a bad man. How's it gonna kill their pensions with electric cars? No, cuz making everyone buy fucking Tesla stock and SpaceX stock and it's fucking that it's fucking people over It's going to fuck people. Why is that because he named his kids numbers? Probably most likely, okay? Thank you for explaining everything to me dude I think I got it very well. It's the man that'll affect dude. I think I have no doubt that against the man that'll affect dude You gotta just go with it. What do you I think now I have enough information to argue with somebody about it? Do you think they're there be there? He has information. He just yelled about it. Do you think they're making space X to send black people to Mars? No one's going to Mars That's the fucking greatest way. I think they're big monster. I still have an ice tube in that movie, dude We always I think black you said black people to Mars. He's back. They get a new planet. That's dope. Can I say something also? We've only sent white guys to other places like the moon and stuff and they're floating around But that could be because their dicks are all little and white black dicks might anchor them to the surface gravity the same exact gravity that we have on earth It's like tremors also moon absolutely also be put three dicks together three black dicks together It can turn on the reactor that brings in atmosphere to Mars. True, but maybe you guys Well, it's the fifth element. Piper Perry Do you think that aliens aliens will still be afraid of black people? Do wouldn't that be great? No, we want no problems. What? Yo guys. Can we think about the possible that by school just take a beer out of the fridge and go Can we think about the possibility that one day violent blacks could be our biggest asset? We wrap our brains around that for a second and I think you guy who never uses real first name That's if Quato was black Fuck you. That'd be fucking awesome, dude. Hell yeah. Then it's funny. I mean, Miss Cleo miss Quato Then I would assume his qualk and palm of basketball and dunk. Could you imagine having the dunk dragging an entire person behind you? Quato. Quato, we're like turn on the cable And he lives in a dude's stomach - That was a great joke. - Are you imagine having a dunk? - Yeah. - Hold on. - Is that a turn on the reactor? Turn on the cable? It's a black water. - I think I'm trying to start with this audience. - You shouldn't turn it. Turn my phone back on. - Yeah, well, maybe. - I like the idea if he lives in the guy's stomach 'cause it's rent-free. - You don't have to buy him. - Do you like what? - They have less than three minutes to get back. - I have their live feed if you wanna see where they are. - Let's see where they're at. - They're rushing to get back here. - They're upstairs. - You call that rushing? - Oh, wow. - That's rushing to you. - Cervical Paul. - Can't even get down in two minutes. - That's him running. - You look like he's about to smack a bitch when he walks inside it down. - Put a fucking spark in your ass. Look at fucking pimp daddy over here. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - It's true, you've been for my cutout. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Who wants to change my bag? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Somebody has-- - No sex in the world. - He has never bagged, doesn't he? - I don't know. - You know me, dude, I make fun of people's illnesses first, and I hope they don't have a bag. - Bottle fell, bottle fell, bottle fell, bottle fell, bottle fell. - Oh, what's that kid with a camo shirt, name? - He's like, bitch. - Well, the ass man's back. - You better be looking at the back of my shoes. - Do you feel like a bitch for coming back after before fucking the kid with the cane? - Cervical Paul. - This should be easy, remember. - Cervical, I got it. - C.P. - Yeah, C.P. - That's a great thing. - I though we're still being mean to them. I'm sorry. - 90 seconds. - I mean, Cervical Paul's a great mean name. - It is a good mean name. - He had Cervical Paul, is he, do we tell you that? - I thought his name was Paul. - Paul. - It is. - You know where the next thing came from? - I didn't use smart. - I tried that, that was his name. - I didn't use smart guy name. - His name is Paul. - We have, they have less than 90 seconds to get back here. Where was the third guy? - So when I was talking to Cervical Paul, I was tumbling down the stairs. - Wait, was his dad funny or were you funny? - I guess he was dead. - Cervical Paul, yeah! - The people love Cervical Paul. - Look at him, he's smacking around and packing a cup. - Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul. - You cannot root for him. - Paul, Paul, Paul. - Once I get a Cervical Paul, hang tight, we're gonna get to you in a moment, relax. - For the love of God, sit down. - We have two more competitors, we have two more competitors that have to make it back by 10 o'clock. I have any pet, I say we penalize them 10 points for every minute that they're laid. - 100 points. - Oh, these fuckers don't even respect our time. - It's really fucked out, to be honest. - Nutsack, coming through right now. Nutsack, walking in right on time. - No, he's sweaty. - And 10 over here, Nutsack. - Too many graphics. - And 10 over here, we're gonna wait for our last and start on the old way and have that. - Nutsack has returned. - And our last competitor is this? No, I don't know if it is. - I don't know, I didn't, he's everyone here. - I didn't know it was a woman. - Everyone's back, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - How high is everyone in the room right now? - Well seriously, yeah. - Yeah. - We almost did, we almost did the THX intro. (laughs) - Yeah. - Yeah. - Silence your phones. Hey, I'm fucking dumb to cope, kid, baby. Watch movies. (laughs) - I think I will. - No, no, mine are good. - Oh, and you get to popcorn, you watch the movies. - Oh, she's in a fucking like a ball gown, she's like, I come to the movies alone. - What a half-footed boy. - I come here and you stop corn. - I go to play showing. - She's showing her dicks. - Oh, I have an Australian accent. - I wanted her to do an ad, but for a legion of scanks. I come to legion of scanks alone and I leave scared. (laughs) - I always jump headfirst into a cab to make sure I'm an attacked by the people in the order. - I thought it was bad when the Sarah Buposi guy got up. (laughs) - Then they made him rush upstairs. He was clawing of the stairs behind me. - There's always come jokes in a place like this. (laughs) - Is this come corn? - This is where we come to escape. And yet there's come everywhere. (laughs) - Right, come. - I know, mate, have some more come corn. - There's lines of liquid come. - I don't want my, I don't want me popcorn anymore because I saw a guy have to snort his own come. (laughs) - The legion of scanks is spoiled. - Jay's been doing an accent for more than 30 seconds and it's shifted into another form. - I would have put come in my victimoid, mate. - Oh, hey, I'm the Pokemon. I watch movies, movies crazy. - Oh, Pokemon, Pokemon, you should have messed it up. - Oh, people move in there. - Oh, we should have scared so crazy. I'm the Pokemon Campaigns. - You sit down, you'll be quiet. - I'm the Pokemon. - The rich power bank is the best power bank in the game. Johnny would think so too. Rich is five in one power bank. Let's you charge anything at any time. MagSafe wireless charging, lightning and USB-C cables. Rich has got you covered. - You charge two things at once. - Yeah, the rich power bank holds up to three full phone charges and powers your device fast. - The power bank rules is available in all the green base camp orange, map black. And it's just incredible, dude. Genuinely is great. Three full charges in it. And it comes with free shipping in a 99 day risk free trial. You're never going to want to get another power bank. It's great. - Why would you? That 99 day risk free trial is amazing. One thing to pack five ways to power, you can find Rich's power bank at Best Buy or Legion of Skanks fans can get 10% off. If you go to rich.com by using code LOS10it, check it out. You never have to leave your house. You fucking fat gamer. Just head to rich.com, use code LOS10 and you're all set to go. - All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Bonnie Brain Coffee for supporting the show. Bonnie Brain, my coffee, thank you very much. - Oh my God. - If you guys, if you like coffee, you're gonna love Bonnie Brain Coffee because it's not just coffee. It is elevated coffee. It's functional coffee that's blended with powerful new tropics and adaptogens. That will support your testosterone brain function mood and overall energy. Yes, Chris. - Hey, I fucking love high tea. That's my thing, right? - High tea. - This one is possible. - High tea, boy. - High tea. So I usually drink coffee from my brain. - Yeah. - You're saying it's good for my body, is that? - And your brain. - What? - Yes. - I fucking treat both like shit. - We've been looking at you. - Tell me how you feel about these supplements. It's got Tonka and Ali. - I love that shit. - Ashwaganda. - What? - Elfini. - I know him. - Lion's name. - I've railed that on the daily. (laughs) - But you're saying I can drink it? - I can chop it up. - True story. - I've stored that shit all the time. - I've been funneling it with the cremert directly into my asshole. - I can do that. - I think I'm absorbing it. I felt very tired. There's a lot of hair growing around my ass. And I've been hitting bitches like left and right. Like ladder. Remember ladder burn program? - Yes. - Throwin' chicks around, let them know. Don't cock, tease me. - That's how powerful a sasasra was gone. - Yeah. - I can't believe this. - Body break coffee made me beat up a girl who teased my cock. - I don't think you should change that. - He's your liar. - No, no, no. - I bought a billboard. - We opened this. - Oh, all right. You're mine. - No, I got a billboard on this. - I got a billboard on the Grand Central Parkway. - Why the GCP? - Yeah, right next to the billy never idols. Don't idol your car. Bill board, there's one of me funneling body brain right into my ass. - Look, of course. - Of course. - And cracking a chick. - James, kidding about all this. - Oh, this. - I think you got a big body brain coffee works. - You can go to BodyBrainCoffee.com right now. And use the promo code LOS20 for 20% off. And guess what? If you subscribe, get it monthly. You're gonna get it for 20% off and you're gonna get free shipping. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. - Free shipping for life. - I'm not up. I'm not an Oppenheimer. I'm not good with math. But you're telling me, I could pay 80% of what everyone else pays. - Yeah. - I want a nut right now. (laughing) - Well guess what? In about a couple weeks, you're gonna be nutting BodyBrainCoffee. - I want a cup. - You know why this is? - You bring your coffee in. - That's probably true because I'll be honest to the BodyBrain. If the funnel's big enough, it'll work your prostate and you will end up coming BodyBrain. - Perfect, come BodyBrain. - I'm sure nut. - Use hashtag #ComeBodyBrain on Twitter. We're gonna give away a free bag to somebody who's gonna use that hashtag. - I'm sure I get some free bag if you know what I mean. - Girl, don't swallow my cum unless you want a chrome mustache. - I paid for the bag. - I do. - You can make your own creamer if you do it right. - BodyBrainCoffee.com promo code LOS20 for 20% off. Yeah. - I'm using that promo code. - My girlfriend looks like a wearable 'cause it's a color face. - Let's go back to our springtugs. One more time for our Springtut Olympians going out there kick ass. Thank you names. First up, let's go in the order that we had them jump up. We're gonna go first up was nut sack. That's it, get up here. - You still do it in there. - You still do it in a tally. - Somebody teach that fuck over here in a tally. - We're gonna, all right, all right. - We'll talk about Chester Bankton while they tally. - Well, he doesn't know or have to tally. - Guys, you should be tallying their numbers. They shouldn't be tallying their numbers. That's a good call. - Yeah, you can't trust these fucks. - Yeah, watch out. (cheering and applause) - I don't like this weird clone of Eric. - Eric. - Give me the list. - What? - He's got his list right here. You've checked everything off that you got. - I don't like how crumbled it is. - What's the point of your ass? - No, no, this is very-- - He's all proof. - All right, so. - What is that? - You got a 22nd hug with a stranger. - No way. - Let's see evidence. - We have evidence of that. - I mean, go to Paco for the vid. It was a couple on a bench and a double hug. - Paco can confirm. - Is that 40 points? - Paco should be a video video. - Should be. - You have a video. So we'll add it into the video. I think it's like that, okay, that's fine, all right. Got it, yeah, yeah, why are they up? - We had a timer. - 80 points. - A number from a hot female. - Same girl hugged me. - Same girl that hugged you, you don't. Wait, she was in a color. - Call her right now, call her right now. - It was a guy in a girl right now. - Call her right now. - Call her. - That guy wasn't her boyfriend. - So I thought he might be gay, so I kept showing. - So you fucked him up. - I kept showing up. - I kept showing up. - You fucked him to get her number, that's hot, dude. - You sucked him off, it's great. - I was like, no points though. I was like, is there anything else on the list? You guys can help with it. I was like going really slow over like gay guy number. - Call her. - Picture the trans, like no, I think we're gonna- - No, I have a Elmo helmet I could put on here. - We have a lot of things to go through. - Hot girl number. - Good, hot girl, sure. - She's not gonna pick up. - Man, team I guess pissed. - Was that guy gay? - Damn, dude, she gave me like the fucking, this is Darahal and John, oh it's fucking burn her number. - So Lee no in bars. - You gotta get on the Wi-Fi, bro. - All right, it's fine, it's fine. - That's a dude. - We're gonna edit that out. - Hey, who it is? - The call's coming from in the basement. - Next, you got a trinket from a homeless person for 70 points, can we see the trinket? That, that's how to trinket. - Call burg, that's how to trinket. - That is the closest garbage. That's a homeless man's, that's how to trinket. - That's how to trinket. - Fucking nickel dog. - No, a trinket is like, if he gave you like a subway token, that doesn't exist. - I take like a bracelet. - Yeah, he's covered in trinkets. - Non-stop, I'm fucking lousy with trinkets. - But wait, look closer. - Yeah, yeah, he's a trinket judge. - And that's not a trinket. That's what I'm talking about. - That's not a trinket. - Non-stop trinkets, dude. I couldn't give you a trinket. - He creates those. - He's never bought any one of these rings. - You trinket, you want everything dangling off of you? - You just sprout them. You're basically a walking antique store. - I think I like it. - That's frosty. - He's like, oh you. - The thing in it, like a-- - The drugstore. - And he's not a spins at the front of his dude. - I'm a fucking mobile clairs unit. - You're adorned into our clairs? - It's one in ear piercing, this is crazy. - Yeah, there's three ear piercings if you buy the jewelry. - J's like the, the magnet thing at an airport with like magnets and postcards. - Oh yeah, absolutely. - Can you post some of them? Some new appearance? - Hell yeah, dude. Just a bunch of redans just show up. - I love a bunch of dingolings hanging off me. (all laughing) Dingle, the more dingolinghy, the better. - You don't walk out the house unless you jingle. - Maybe. - I have to jingle diet. If I don't sound like a ghost of Christmas something, I don't feel like I'm not dressed right. - Gypsy. - J. - It's just married and J's back and he has trinkets hanging from his butt. - He's got cans. - Oh my god, cans attached to string, attached to fucking confetti poppers. - Eventually he's just gonna be in a full one-man band outfit. - Bantanas, sweat bands, headbands. - Priceless, I hardly use this. - I hardly use this. - No drinks, these are real things. - Corn rose if I can grow my hand long enough. - Do it. - Dreadlocks if corn would accept me back. Okay, sorry. Nurse Betty, you're here. (laughing) - Oh shit, Nurse Betty. - I'm so high. All right, what else did you get here? - Why don't you keep announcing it, 17-year-old? This movie's great. So wait, the cool ones are the vampires? - Yeah. - A lock of a stranger's hair. - It was the same girl I hugged and got her number. - What the fuck, who is this bitch? - This is smart. - Hold on, that's one strand of hair. That's not a lot of hair. - The next thing is like how? - The next thing he checks off is rape and kill a girl. Oh my god, he goes, well, funny enough, same girl. - By the way, it's why our phone didn't ring. I threw it in the green head. - I smashed it. - Yeah, I fucking smashed it. - A human body shit. - Oh, what? - I smashed it on a rock. - This service of a lady. - So they can triangulate the location. - I was in the woods, you see? - Yeah, I made it look ritualistic. So they'll look for a fucking Southern blacks first. - Isn't it impressive I got here 15 minutes early after killing a bitch? - It's a Buffalo Bill challenge. - I don't know, you guys are talking about-- - These are your pants, right? - I was only going for like 30 minutes. How could I have done that? - I don't know, I mean-- - He took me 10 minutes and then I took a walk. - I don't know that we're gonna let him have, he has one strand of hair. That's not a lock there. - He killed a girl. - That is not a lock there. - He's not a lock there. - Dude she's loaded with prints. - That's not a lock of it. - I ain't a lock, dawg. - It's not a lock. - It has a strand of trinkets. - Guys, his footprints is a sneaker and a boot. - Can I, alright. - They're gonna find him. - I say we give him half points for the trick and half points for the lock ahead. - Yeah, I say zero points for the trick, that's nice, someone's garbage. - You get a hobo for a thing and he leaves you alone by giving you a eat. - But he fucking can that you can't even get a selfie. - He literally said get the fuck away from me boy, boy. - We are in Union Squat. - Here's our Mickey's 40 bottle for there. - There's a black guy skateboarding in Union Square right now who is jingling, jangling, just like your old friend jangling. - He's like a monkey's paw. - He was telling me, I sat down with this guy, he was telling me all about like socrates and the allegory of the cave for like 10 minutes. - Dude, you meant Jesus Christ. - He was late. - He was too poor. - And then he gave me his fucking Sapporo can. - And that was it, and that's all you did. - And I got a lock ahead. - That's not a lock ahead. - That's not a lock dog. - Is that a lock ahead? - Yeah, here's what I'll say. - He's the mayor of a lock town. - He got something from a homeless person. That homeless person might have treasured. It was worth five cents if you were cycling. There's something to that. - Basically that's tipping as a homeless person. - I'm a musician. - Can I fucking hang the cams from my pocket? Does that count from my pocket? - A homeless guy gave you a can to go away. I don't think that makes you intern fucking material. - Guys, what do you think this could be? - Any of those is a can, could do that. - Tell me where this can hangs from me, and I'll call it a trick and go on. - Put me up on an operation game. - Roofy-o, roofy-o. Show me how my body where a fucking can hangs. - I mean, I can't. - It's never gonna make me look fun. - If you smash the can down, you can hang it from your chain. - I don't have a chain. - What happened to your chain? - I never had a chain. - You never had a chain? - I never had a wallet chain. - You famously had a chain. - Yeah, you famously had a wallet chain. - Wallet chain, you never had a chain. - No, I meant a chain. The only chain in your body, a wallet chain, yeah. - Definitely had a fucking wallet chain. - Did you have a wallet chain? - Yeah, a wallet chain. - Yes. - We all met wallet chain. - Apparently we were wearing a wallet. - We clearly all met wallet chains. - We got to get to it. - What are you talking about? - Can you slide us? - Wait, no. - Yeah, that was insane. - No, I think you may have a chain. - I think you meant neckline. - It's insane that you would think that I thought of another chain when you're currently wearing the chain that I'm talking about. - You should have said wallet chain. I think chain connotates a neck chain. Am I right? - But famously the only person still wearing a wallet chain. - I'd be over here. - Suck my dick. Chain means neck, chain, chain means neck, chain means neck, chain. - Man, that's how I validate myself. - There's petty, yes? - I was just thinking if you loop this through the tablet. - Get out of here! - Kind of counts as a trinket. (laughing) - Peter didn't have a train. Nurse Betty, you idiot. - Oh, if you lost, get out of here. - Obviously, you wouldn't wear a chain. - I don't wear a fucking neck chain. I want who's so bad, but not enough black people maybe feel it would be cool enough that I would deal with what white people say. - All right, Nurse Betty, I'm going to get, if you agree with me, Jay, and Tristan, we have the Legion of Skanks. I think three for life. I say we give them half points for the trinket and for the hair. - I would say so, definitely for the lock of the hair. - Half of the frame is on a half. - But half, first of all, the fact that he was able to hold onto a hair, he kissed her in plucked a hair. That's not being gifted a lock of the hair. - Well, let me say something. The guy made it back here with a strand of hair, which means he's going to kill that girl. - Well, yeah. - He saved the strand of hair. - I didn't realize you would have the hounds from plucked a hair. - A strand of hair, and a strand of hair, there's. - Half points for that for sure. - Yeah. - Trinket. - It's not a trinket. - Jay, if you feel that strongly, I won't give them the half points on trinket, but I don't want to hate my guts only. It's a three points. - I think half points on trinket, because that did, that did. - I have the only reason I'll say not half points, okay, I'll play devil's advocate, is because he showed up 12 minutes before the contest was even over. - He could've done more. I'm okay, half points for the, if it's a majority rule. - Legion of Skanks are three for life. - That's right. - We make our decisions. - Always three for life. - I think that is for a long time. - Yeah, absolutely. Fucking going on 16 years. - It's a lot of seniors. - Tristan, since he was a child, and also had six- - He missed the edge of T's for this show. - Same facial. - I stopped going to school completely. - Yeah. - Why would you need to go to school? This is 80 points. - This is your education. - 140. - You get half points for those who said? - 1,95. - Oh, we're taking away. - 195 points. - Get it up one more time for Nurse Betty, with 190 points. (audience cheering) - My first ever Legion of Skanks, scavenger hunt, slash wheel appointment, slash. - Slash, we get high and just keep on coming up with ideas. - Yeah. - Slash. - All right, and there's next up is Gamerick. Gamerick for Gamerick, guys, come on. (audience cheering) - Yes, Gamerick. - Gamer Kroresler, assuming we get personable, big, strong, sweet heart. - What? - He's got a Whole Foods bag. - What do you get? - Gamerick. - Oh, sorry. - That seems like a thing you stole from a homeless person. - Okay, we look like he did some more. All right, let's go. 20-second Hucklewood homeless person for 80 points done. 100 straws from a local establishment. Can we see those straws? - What? - Oh! I'm going to get him. Got him out, Chris, if you wouldn't mind. Yeah, Chris, you can't have my puppy go over these other ones. This is a hundred, I can't go over here. They better be a hundred, dude. Oh, dude, if there's not a hundred straws there. This is embarrassing, Chris. Use your autism, dude. I got it out of the field. Get ready then, there's more of them that I took. There's more, so he's getting even more. Faggot, feel it, dude. Just feel it. I feel it. Rainman, this shit. Yeah, dude. Faggot, don't count him one at a time. Can't wait 10 at a time, you psycho. Dude, you were so vaccinated, just feel it. He did steal them. Of course he stole the plan. It's a pandemic. What do you ask for them? I'd be insane. Dude, this whole fucking big is a plant. There's more than a hundred. It's more than a hundred. We're playing. We're playing right here. It's crazy. We're playing right into the trust for life. We're playing right into the government. Trust for life. New T-shirt. That's just straws for money. Somebody had any coat. All right. Ready. Let's say, for 60 points, something stolen. You stole a line from Whole Foods. From Whole Foods? Well, that's a crime. That's a crime. It's a crime. It's a crime. It's a crime. It's a crime. It's a crime. Absolutely. It's the first little rock fall to the apple. Above board. Above board. You're up that you chugged and we have video and we have any it's not empty. That's it. You're a video 28 ounces meets the 24 requirement. Oh, it was supposed to be 24 ounces of 28 ounce. I'll give it to them. It's a buff board. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna call Very good. They filmed that I was just I boned it. We filmed it. Okay. All right No, why it's gnarly. It's so hard to keep down food that someone is the sugar is what I like. Hey, hey I have an issue with this. He walked away from Seraphine and did it in the men's restroom without her. I Filmed it. I filmed it. I Went in the bathroom with that. I do the poop spot. And I'm sorry. All right If you filmed it, that's fine It's got a little sore a little on the wall. Show the Jeremiah right now. He's the most trustworthy version here Yeah, I think it's AI. I haven't seen it. Show it to the Joker. If you lie to him, you betray Christ And Christ is a shit. We're gonna put this place. Okay. I'm looking at the video. He does pop up. Why are why are your pants down? Show weird that you don't need to be before you pull the pants down, dude. That's This is fucking this is an odd video. This is so unnecessary. He's Taking a dump. No, I think it's part of another. I think it's part of another thing. Wait. Hold on. Go back to the video. Go back to the Mobius strip back to the bottom zero go back to it. No, give me give me that for a minute To eat the end work throw his phone He's gonna look for this guy I mean, yeah, that's pretty much Alright, he's up guys. He chucked it. He gets the points. Yeah Careful Why didn't you want Saraphina to watch you chug and shit at the same time? It sounds pretty hot. It's always on bathroom watch. You wouldn't let him know Food that someone is currently eating. What did you get from somebody? What is it? French fry from somebody Technically, although there's no bite taking it at french fry. No, it's from a meal. No, he had he had Seraphina with him. She could prove everything, right? He stole from Siena former guest of the show Wow, but Receipt a receipt totally exactly 420 or 69 cents. How did you get that standman 429? 420 is crazy when I when I ran up to Seraphina she was on the bathroom line So I went to a pizzeria and I was like I'll buy something she uses the bathroom so I used a bathroom and that was the 420 thing I mean he hasn't received it. No, I bought a 420 water. All right, so install 200 straws. Nice a log of human shit What the hell is going on? So I couldn't squeeze out I Hold on, it's like a movie. That's why he was sitting Doing two birds with one stone My fancy shit right now I think I'm smelling fantasy fucking brilliant. Do you do not pull out your shit? Shit to shit, but I got out some turn That's heavily shit Oh my fucking God not since Ari should be her friend of the show has anybody brought shit to the table literally Jeremiah is on his last legs right now We remove in the building A full a full street hot dog you bargain down the price for how do you go from human shit to a hot dog? Yeah, did they touch I use the bag I got from the hot dog to for that. Thank you Whoever said that needs to kill themselves to do ever add a boy that a baby wipe hold on You're infertile guys a baby wipe that you deeply wiped your ass with so there I mean there wasn't much to wipe But I wiped with it. It's in here. I don't like the idea of that clean of a shit. It was a clean shit This is like the worst bag of magic I've ever seen This is what you did It's like if Mary Poppins was an AIDS patient. Oh I see the shit All right, that's it somebody shit take it all out. Take it all out. Get the fucking lean One more time for a fucking gimmick Who killed it? He's going to finish wiping his ass right now. G my total score for gimmick nurse Betty had 195 gimmick has 520 So so Dom you really just trust your girl out with that guy the doodle man Lois less lowest is going home The top score is going through to next week and the other two have to do the wheel of punishments in order to stay in that's what's happening tonight Okay, I'm really worried about this nut tech guy I was just he seems unhinged. I wonder how many shits are ahead of us He's wearing gay real turglasses, and I hate it He's gonna show me a loft and tell me it costs more than it's gonna show you a log and fucking say it's more is this beer piss It's just beer for now a little both nuttech. Let's see your Page right here. Thank you very much. Jeremiah. If somebody touches you with this. I'll kill them. I promise nuttech also with a lot of fucking Thank you. Let's go. Oh my god. I can't deal with another guy's phone his own I can't deal with shit. The turd is that a turtie the boy looks like he's going to smoke his own turn folks I'll smoke your turn a hundred for the boy. It's freaking out. Why do we want shit every day? We're going to the list as I had to be a jam. We know we're never wanted to piece a turd here This wasn't in our fucking eight hour meeting at all eight hours. What the fuck? Jesus. We're fucking we like we had a fucking 60 hour session like Parliament. Yeah, it took you 60 hours It comes to let's make a shit. Yeah, do bowling over here filibusters. Still everyone's shitting. Yeah, it's like settlers of Losos takes too long these are good. That's I don't care what this what this crowd's on heroin stop selling us on the underselling us. It will pump the last thing that we all enjoy. Yeah, it's from the post. It's fine. It's true. We use left All right, all right. A 20 second hug from a stranger done a phone number from a hot female done Who was with you? Who was with you? He's not hot. I don't know he's attractive, but still he can't say no I don't know if she was hot, but Mike's an ugly too. I mean, that's all I can't put that on nuts I mean, that's what we put with him. So you had a picture ever Uh, he's got video evidence. No, he's got video evidence good. Okay. I trust you. I trust gay blind Mike as well He knows the game for brevity. Let's believe a phone number from a very gay guy Yeah, I got that your own phone number. That's fucking crazy What did he count? Did you spin into him by accident? What is this right here? Siri call self Check voicemail. Shoot your own mouth and throw it up in front of us No We have gay blind Mike was at them, and he has something to say about that. I'm gonna say gay blind Mike He said my number was the gay person's number, which is funny, but - Who's that actually gay, he fucks ladies. - That's a gay hero, the spirit of the game. - He's not gay but he's not gay. - He told me he's not gay. - He's not gay. - Man, and I thought a guy named Nutsack would be more trustworthy. Or at least a little more tolerant. - What is it, did you mark one of these here? A photo with a famous person on the end of word pass? - No. - Okay, all right, there was just weird markings. All right, so then you got a trinket from a homeless person. A magazine, more garbage. - What magazine? - Yeah, what is it? - Open up, what is it? - Quick question, Nutsack. Where would you danglify? - It's good, dude, it's about holistic health. And Nutsack, where would you danglify that on me? - Yo, there's definitely come on that from the homeless guy. No, the front of it. - Snorted. - That guy nudged into this old guy. - Oh dude, what is that? - It's a old guy. - That's not right. Hey, Nutsack, hey. - Think about this game. - Think about how that's the play. - This is mayonnaise. - Think about it. - I'm shuddy, mayonnaise, and I almost threw up. - You almost touched me with that. - I know. - You thought that was gonna be a good idea. - Fuck away, dude. - That was crazy. - What? - He owns that. - He owns that. - But this homeless person mayonnaise. - That is crazy. - And I just watched, I would. - How would it ever help me? - I saw it. I saw it. - It would be Jeremiah on that real time. - Jeremiah's the motion to be like, "Oh, it's fucking real." - It's a pretty film. - Like, what the fuck? - He's getting that bum mayo in his back. - You can horror-reacon. - That's a weird amendment. - I keep moving backwards for my nose days in the same spot. - I admit that that's not on there. - And there's no. - That is not. - I just threw up the mayonnaise. - You tried to choke mayonnaise? - Yeah, it was all mayonnaise. - Why I start with mayonnaise? - That's what you end on that. - You don't have to do it. - I can't do either, dude. I just jump right to come. - It's just eating cream cheese. - It's less of a trinket than a can. - Can you ruin your whole house? - He's usually drinking a jar of mayonnaise. - I would say it's more in keepsake than a trinket. - That's just me, I don't know. - Look, it's not a trinket, dude. - A can of mayonnaise has value. Dangle a can. A can is made of metal, which is a trinket type of work. - True, five percent. - And we didn't give that, we didn't even point to that. - You can start a fire with the magazine. - I was about to, I feel like-- - I can tell you what, we're under-- - I don't wanna touch it. - It's not signed. - Bobby, I was really happy. - If it was signed, it would be a trinket. - I don't think that would look bad. Hang it out of my back pocket. (laughing) - Well, that guy's a real reader. - Look, look, look, look, look, look, look. - I feel like we're-- - Say it's my paper, I read the paper every time. - Any information about the world. - And you know, it's a little pizzazz to my other pocket. - I'll give it half points. - I feel like we're underselling homeless. - He's like a dog on the list. - Yeah, we're underselling homeless people right now. They can use all their things like Native Americans using a buffalo down to the mouth. - That's very true. - So that could be a tarp, that could be a blanket, that could be a lover. We don't know. - All right, I'll give them half points. Let's-- - Do you not-- - Did you not see the streak on there? That's a lover. - Yeah, I think that's a homeless person. - It's straight, it made a nut. It's pretty folded up. It looks like it was a fighter, too. - It's a picture of Hank the third on the back, so. - All right, dirt from Tompkin Square Park. - That's oozy, oozy, oozy. - Get rid of it over there. - You gotta see some dirt. Let me see your dirt. - I mean, there's more than that. - That's dirt. - That's dirt. God made dirt, dirt, dirt, don't hurt. - Nice jerks, cubes. - And MTA, subway map. - Is one on my phone? - No. - No. - I didn't get it though. - Fucking shit. - Did I trace nation on the corner, you ass? - Boo. - I don't believe anything else you said now. - Something. - I have to drink it. It's in my phone on Amazon, Jay. - Look. (all laughing) - It's a shake weight. - Look, it's all in the phone right here. - It would suck if you really liked it. We had to give it points. - It's like, that's a fucking great choice. - That is a really good choice. - I do like metal skulls. (all laughing) - Here, put this VR goggles on. - Something stolen. - Ah, I stole a cup off of the table. - Here? - Yeah. - It's a different restaurant. Thank you, Gabe on mic. - That's fine. I can't. - Let's see, right here. - All right, have a stranger give you something of value more than $5. - Do you differ? - Stanley doesn't? - I did it. I did that. - What was it? - It was a quarter zone cream, but I dropped it. - You dropped it. - What was it? - It was a quarter zone cream. It's on video. - What? - It's on video, but he doesn't have them. - I don't understand the words you're saying. - He's saying quarter zone cream, but with a really weird accent. - Oh, a quarter zone cream. - It's on video. - It's on video. - Hey, yeah, it's on video. - It's on video. - Yeah, it's on video. - It's on video. - It's on video. - It's on video. - It's on video. - It's on video. - Are you doing Brian Regan right now? (all laughing) - I don't know what it might say. - I don't want to scale with the quarter zone cream. - It's on video. - It's on video. - It's on video. - Big yellow ones, of course. - It's on video because I got dirt in my pocket. - I'm a retard, I'm a baguette, I fucking dropped it. - Can I have some points please? - Jesus, it's so, don't jump me so hard. - He's so hard. - What do you mean, drop it? - Wow. - Wait, wasn't it in a glass to enter? - Why would we drop it? - Why would we say in a hearty way? - He does it in a gay man's penis. - Come on, come on. - What do you mean you dropped it? - I was at Target and like, I had to get back by 10. - And what he said, like, bring it me out. And I was about to steal the shit. And then it finally did bring me out. And I left. - He sat just like Brian Reagan. - Well, I can hear his Brian Reagan right now. - That's the thing I know, I'm getting the fuck out of here. - Oh no. - Can I say something? I trusted him to tally his own points and I would just look over them. He's liked multiple times and he's saying also he never stole cream from Target. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We can see you dickhead. - It's a book back on his back, but there's no books in it. (laughing) - You sound like Brian Regan, but you look like Ian Finance's penis. (laughing) - Damn dude, that is fucking great, man. - All right, so what's the tally then? - Hold on, is that it? - It's cool. - Okay, by Mike says you're a liar, and I trust his fucking, I trust his 25 vision. - Food, food that is currently being eaten by somebody. I had some pizza crusts from a black guy. - You need to go on video. - It's on video. - Where did he go? - I don't fucking lie either, he cock suckers. - He offered him blunts after the show if he had given the pizza for food. - That's okay, that's fine, that's fine. - That's fair, yeah. - And gave by Mike, does he have the other stuff that he's saying he has on video? Like this cream? - Yeah, that was a good barter. That was a good one. - Bottle of cream? I mean, I'll give him the bottle of cream before if he's got it on video and he lost it. I'll give him half point. - Bottle of cream? Bottle of blood. - Well, I say half points if he lost the bottle, but he got it on video. - Fair? - Wait, he lost the cream? I thought a guy named Nutsack would be more responsible. - Me too. - Jimmy, do you have the points? - We figured he keeps everything in his Nutsack. - You dropped your cream and you didn't even think to bring Jeremiah his milk. - Real nice. - Seriously, the entire show that man has no milk. - Dude, it's crazy. - You're fucking milkless. His bones are deteriorating in front of us. - That should be the name of the show, milkless. - Yeah. - Oh, sorry, Jeremiah, I guess you're gonna continue to get sand kicked in your face. (audience laughs) - G-O-I-Q, where are his points at? - It's a nurse Betty has 195, gimmick has 520. Nutsack has 360 points. - Respectable. - Oh, respectable. - Respectable. - Got that place. - Get prepared. You might be drinking a cup of piss right here to stay out of the show. Come back in a minute. Thank you very much. We don't know yet, we don't know. - Congratulations, you brought the cup. You're gonna drink piss in. (audience laughs) - No, we do know. - I'm not gonna be the last. - 'Cause it's not from here. - What a dumbass. - Truly a fucking stupid person. - I stole this piece. - We have one more, ladies and gentlemen, Sarable Paul. - Oh my gosh, this girl's gonna see piss. - I believe every V-E-S-S. (audience applauds) - Sarable Paul. - Sarable Paul just wrote, "I got outside." 5,000 points. - Thank you. ♪ I believe he can fly ♪ - This just says. - I'm ready, hold on. - Oh, maybe show me your book. - It's from Jamaica. - You got $100 from Jamaica. - Yeah. - That is worth 16 cents. (audience laughs) Hell yeah, dude. Is this better than when you got to meet Michael Jackson? - All right, Sarable Paul did not get many of these things, but that's okay. Have a stranger give you something of value more than $5 for free. Oh, that's $100 from Jamaica. What is the American value of $100 in? - But it doesn't matter. - Oh, okay. - It doesn't matter. - Oh, Po. - Finally. (audience cheers) - Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. Milk. - It's actually come. That gave me goosebumps like watching Papa eat spinach in front of me. (laughs) - That's a Friday night at any Mormon household that I've ever seen, Mom. - Do you like? - No caffeine. - $100 from Jamaican dollars is $63. - No, no. - No, no. - No, no. - No. - Can we just be on island time for him? - I mean, I give a half points. (laughs) Give him full points. It's a half point. That's crazy now. It's only it's only for 63 cents Half points half points. All right, half points and half points Are you having more fun than when six flags let you go in front of all the rides? For currency the same thing. Yeah, okay, he check he did two birds with one stone Say what the shit fine wrote this dumb shit list. I hope it's Alex And the one last thing he got Was take a picture with a character in Times Square and don't pay. Oh I got a few pictures Do you have a picture? I have a few pictures Top gun maverick. Top gun maverick. It's flea week Hold on did you have to send their dicks for those pictures now better cast hold on can we see anymore is there any other pictures he said? Do you think this the cast of under siege? I do I think it counts because it is the cast of He just let me pictures of Times Square not not of you and characters. Yeah, I think let me look. What are our characters right now? I'm praying you have characters. All right, that's it. There's just I took a picture of that character guy and beanies. He's just a woman with a verse. I think a flea we think What is this guy is a character? That guy's a character That's way from the morning show Everybody he's shown so far somebody their life goes, oh, he's a character Those are those are the guys who jump over people in Times Square. Oh, we met fucking Superman our elbow or like Fucking iron dress. Oh, you didn't understand it from you. He thought he meant the content of their character That lady's a character. Look rich boss is right there Buff rich what that's the rich boss Bonnie wants him to be why the fuck is that kid? Why is a kid out there watching a crippled person this time of night? Dude the best part is him smiling so big being like I freaking nailed this Look at this weird I do love it. I've said the chick with a bang this. Yeah, he's like, oh raincoat. What a weird person Everyone said 42 dollars for a new bird. You're out of your mind Okay, how about this is psychotic. These are all characters. I mean I Think on a base that we know what we know we man So that's that you that's your wars. That's a character. That's in those women are lying Drivers don't actually like you Those people are playing characters. She he didn't he didn't do it with him He didn't in front of them they're like in the background Listen, can we say drunk uncle? Can we say this though if you would think of it with those girls I would have counted but also the angry monster from the muppets is in the background That's just an Arabian guy. That's you that's Zeus listen We know from these pictures that he on foot covered at least 100 square feet. Yeah, well Mike. I saw him to say so this isn't like I I'm not defending. That's a character But Poe does say that they demanded payment and he said no Eight hundred and twenty five boy. It's good math. Whatever three Quarters 1500 is and and he also got the points for the foreign currency and half points for the something over five dollars Shut up Smells like a winner folks Yeah, I know it so I have the final scores here if you want them. Please. Oh, this is big In last play fucking huge. This is huge for me And last place with a hundred and ninety five points is going and going home and there's Betty You guys you did a great job nurse Betty. You were incredible. We love you He did not need this at all I'll be in terms of it. Oh nice. There's Betty for Kylie. My man. It was a pleasure Thank you for this shirt. That's awesome Very classy very classy nurse Betty going home your job's not over till the podcast is please get me another beer Yeah, we'll take a round of people yeah You want the winner and then the next two people have to do. Yeah, you do our winner and then we'll say the next two people that have to The punishments our winner with a whopping eleven hundred and eighty five points Surrey or Paul Can be our winner tonight if our other competitors choose to not do the challenge but can I just say a thing as somebody who's been Observing the spring turn Olympics for so goddamn long the what is an Olympics? What what? Oh, oh, Jesus Christ Mom, it's gone You've been fucking whacked. Does it feel good now? Now Jesus Christ James What do you do that my punch Po? I'm here live on the sea with several Paul right now. How are you feeling about your recent win? I'm feeling pretty good. I don't have to put icy hot my notes I don't think you're in the you're in the you're in the finals now we're doing next week I think next week's gonna be our final I was spring turn Olympic episode Can I just prepare to put icy hot on my nuts. I know you know, yeah, yeah, we believe Honey was it when I just say why I believe it like why I'm so happy that he is he's the opposite of Saraphina so much And the fact of the crowd is show on board with him as much he's a Some sort of Mexican retarded and then she's just a hot white lady Yeah, no, they were definitely different they were different. They were different so it piles for sure You know the fucking stigma this show should go away after this. I'm just saying We can now say and I'm sorry Tony Hitchcliffe nobody does more for retards and trans and blacks Please do this gang sorry Tony with to go over it all right now with one person that's right Saraphina's been trans this whole time who knew it dude That would be truly heartbreak that hog on the way it would be heartbreaking and 60% of the guys in this room would suck her cock tonight. Yeah, yeah, I'll be in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah Cheating was a dick listen at some point you're gonna do it You're gonna agree to do it because you're gonna like let me see to make sure there's no way that's really I wouldn't do it But I'd watch you guy do it. Yeah, yeah, we did we say Seraphina's a cock. Yeah, and this in a scenario Yeah, what are you suck it or? Oh? I got kisser and play with it That's how much play that's super gay wait wait wait wait wait Can't see what I would do I would watch I like how you can always just do that I would watch your fucking chick, and I would finish to that. Oh I still have dirt in my fanny pack Guys I look at her like my daughter she has to understand mine has to be within reason all right So before you go through to the finals next week our final episode we will figure out who our finals We have two participants No, take just look at him with actual vitriol, and I don't like it at all like you like I'm like I'm looking at you bro I don't like the way you're looking at this retarded guy. I will fucking defend it What would be a fortunate if somebody slipped off of that cane lighter? Tripping over it supposed to make me stand up, but now I'm falling over it Go with third place first, and then we'll go with second place in third place with 360 points is not sack what was his punishment drink this drink a shot of piss okay good it could be anybody's piss Stanley so I mean get in there hey hey my mic oh no piss not that how are you really upset right now I'm whatever but I'm a little upset I'm pretty upset by it's scared dude why this is only your fourth time scared of piss you fucking faggot scared of piss visual is only first time in my life I'm afraid I know this yellow men is coming at me he's gonna be oh boo it's only my fourth time drinking piss pisses in all of us it's a frozen margarita in that bitch we're the olive the pickle juice like the olive oh there we go there we go step those are blue cheese real quick who's got a piss I'll tell you what you stuff those are blue cheese you drink your own you should drink your own piss I you should drink your own you should drink your own if you were coming up from water fest you would have to do this and there is a man walking out yeah about to be open just ran towards the stage like he's got a piss that guy's willing to give you his piss oh he's please so funny you should take his funny piss that girl's willing to be a boy yeah that's a ball ball yeah you're a ball yes no you have to feel that somebody's got to watch you piss seraphino or another female is what you piss wait is this girlfriend I see that guy in the blue shirt as a girl this is hot yo he is going to get such a brother if seraphino watches you know this rules I would drink your piss to watch seraphino piss I don't know what we're doing anymore can we throw a little bit of seraphino get over here fucking go shower for everybody these big dreams come true on this podcast right now make her just putting a thumb over seraphino's pistol and shaking her like I would just love all the girls this audience went full belagio on us right now what'd you say it is it you know it's a punishment for seraphino for being nice she just said she's on her yeah she did she did Jeremiah she did say that all right seraphino you're gonna watch her you're gonna watch her piss in this glass seraphino is sort of clapper itself come on I'm gonna watch her piss let's go I mean look dude even drinking even drinking your girl's piss is rancid dude it is for sure to discuss it to your girl dude get through because right now thinking dude seraphina senior wife's pussy dude so hold on wait you love your wife thank god you just bought her metaglasses bro seraphina hola hola is this gonna be the first time you drink your wife's piss yeah that's weird that you did this what someone called you as a liar do this girl who definitely pisses in this guy's mouth all the time remember strong chin guy from earlier for people listening at home his girl pisses his mouth all the time it's just hot piss yeah whatever it's piss it's just a little bit of hot piss no probably be cold by time I guess down here yeah it's a chilled glass yeah yeah so it will be room temperature I one time I one time drank a shot of probably about 15 20 minute old squirt and I would say it's probably piss yeah it was it was horrible you said 15 minutes old like it'd been sitting out it was so stagnant I was there three shots of three shots of water one shot of decanted piss there I was there it had separated oh by the time Jay drank I drank it down and right when I realized I was in the gags for the next 20 minutes can you imagine your lady hot chick hot chick too can you imagine your lady just like washing your hands taking your time at the bathroom and the phone two women go into the same bathroom saw with an empty pump martini glass and then come back out with a murky liquid I get hold on also the real funny thing about this is neither of them have ever worked in this service industry they're going to feel so much piss in the way down those steps anyway guys seven days a week the stand in YC dot com you can get slides show stand of comedy today's best working and up and coming comedians plays were sitting the blazer was here tonight it's two different pieces on Sundays for Matt Nakes you know absolutely two best Sundays Mickey Glaser looking like the uh this is the hook and puppet from the puppet master movies remember the hook and puppet from the mother master movies nice hands little mozzie hat it's like a pilgrimage hat nobody was he was made by now he was in that puppet and a bit of rest if you I watch all the puppet master movies and his lineage was he was a Nazi puppet Mickey's fantastic she's a doll yes the mean is shit he's about to drink piss is it his role with you so do you know for like pisses in his eyeballs every day so you know for like legally tied up with like being allowed to piss here you drink piss here because I like is it not by how it's 16 years you do this every time I told you the kitchens got an a rating why would my ass bowling dude what are you still waiting for the piss for dude I just want to make sure this thing's airtight you know I've been politics for you're an airtight boy you're a politics guy from well I've been a politics guy for a while dude this whole thing is duck water tight what a show to you guys have it a fun time I didn't mean I didn't mean to use the industry tarot it's a piss cast three for life everyone Mike what are you doing making a catheter over there yeah he's collecting cubes you know if you want to give you a pubes the mic raise your hand he will come around and collect your pubes of course he's that guy again by man for those pubes did this girl clapped to give her pubes that's almost not what's girl what's girl clapped his wife is furious I don't think she's clapping for the idea she's like just fuck me in the ass is anyone out there the real mess we are losing the room guys everyone calm the fuck down Paco has really strong lose coming down really straight dark pubes probably but they went out of the score in the US Belgium game who who what was the over she's that's what he cares about the press all what a beating electric rate dude how long does it take a wife to fucking pass holy shit yeah why is your wife's a fucking bitch not idiot I don't think that's happening look at me a fucking beer dude describe that I'll take a beer to get Stanley a fucking beer maybe they're eating each other's pussy great good it you all I gotta be your fucking intern I don't think like that guys please she's my comedy daughter stop it's a feud baby we are we have moments away from the tech drinking his wife's piss we're gonna be gluing a Hitler mustache in pubes from the audience on gimmicks face right after this gimmick made out yes did he shave his must yes he's got to shave it gimmick happens after that they just go on in next week yeah the finals the finals what is the finals is another wheel of punishment no I will say next week we will put them all to the lie detector test yeah the 50 j others assholes and the one of them guys we're gonna iron out on our Saturday meeting that is possibly 11 hours long it goes so it goes it's like jury deliberation we don't walk out until we're all crystal clear on the same page with every subject whoa nuts the craziest thing about what's happening right now he didn't have a mustache that this is uncomfortable for me I don't know why the whole thing is weird wait what's uncomfortable about it is the piss martini or is it the man saving his face for a sugar mustache you know it's so funny we've all been in rooms for so many weird things and this is making all of us fucking feel fucking like we've been in the strangest rooms Jay me and you have been on the SDR show so many times with this is so weird to me right now do international street meet was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced but this guy's shaving his mustache off that he doesn't want to shave off I'll tell you this though it's a real treatment to lose some random whores ass here on his face well let me tell you he was gonna wish it was all oh god they're coming back downstairs oh no question is he going to have to eat the olives was one yes he was thank you Saravita you have to go pee now Saravita you tried oh would you have drank Saravita's piss if it was Saravita's piss would you have drank it of course he would probably would you now probably we would Lewis we would bottle in decanter buddy let me tell you something you have to deal with you better hope you're swimming on bathwater buddy so fucking huge you not sex not sex not sex let me just let you know blow into your thumb really hard not sex next week in a lot of tickets I'm gonna ask you if you would rather drink Saravita's piss than your wife's piss no no a random man is pissing in your drink oh random man random I know is that no that's right Saravita can you pass Saravita can you pass No, no, no, no, no, no, can't you piss I feel like I don't need you to get the drink seraphina's piss Really from the bit can you piss from me? Are you okay with that? All right? Everyone's on the fuck I have to be pretty bad right now. I'm gonna hold on. Don't are you okay with that shut the fuck? I don't care if Don't okay with it. No, I have to be pretty bad right now. I could go up there Seraphina's a pure soul. Would you drink Dom's piss? Let me make a kick would you make a kiss myself? Yeah, okay, so myself she can't piss. Let me drink my own piss for this reason because I am an audio engineer I'm gonna come in and help you guys with your audio Listen Fresh shut the fuck up sounds like it's drinking piss for away. Let me see everyone sure Quite quite let me say something. You're getting crazy. All right stop. Where are you? What if it is 95% your piss and 5% one of our piss Like you see drop just a drop of our piss Oh, mostly your piss Jeremiah's fair. Oh, Jeremiah's a child of God Holy Joe's you to be Jeremiah's the holy live. I'm gonna help out a lot, dude I know a lot about EQing audio and yeah, I've heard fucking feed back This room tonight. You this real Paul Hey, can you this room tonight? I've heard the fucking feedback Can he stop if you have you on your sheet? Hey, Jake and he EQ his voice a little lower right now stop if you have you on your team dude. I need you listen I listen. I need you to EQ a cup of piss in your mouth Just my own piss. I do you ask Alex. I'm gonna come in on a day off and show her out of new all kinds Personally for what would you say Alex hates him personally? Why why she said if we have the opportunity to get rid of him today do it Drinking piss your drinking piss Wait, who who who went to show this with people can't smell it Stop it. Stop talking. Who witnessed this best? Who didn't shut up? You thought Sarah Venus behind you you smell it you nasty whore. I'm sorry Smell it. Yes, miss smell it So it's dripping on your fingers smell it smell the oil Josh Josh Jake It's not a lot. I feel like that's That pisses too high drain. See this hold on That's how I feel I'll punch you. Um, you know, I don't want it Oh No, it was not yellow Yo Stranger's piss I mean, I here's my problem. I can't get from this is piss. Yeah, but there shit Did she Wash her pussy last time was you try to take a pillow. I would you know from before? Hold on hold on May I for a moment What's your name? Do you care of that girl right behind you pisses in this? She wants to piss. I got you seen that you want to piss in this She's ready to go. She loves the piss show hold on She's ready to go she's show piss. I didn't watch you know getting ready to fucking piss I'll drink your piss you're a good thing you faggot. You fucking homo Drink your piss. You fucking back it topped off. That's gotta be that should be topped off with this Yes, no different class Get her new glass That's great, but I need to see I you know what you're not confused you wouldn't lie, right? It's gonna be a little yellow What I want his wife to watch her can we have Seraphina watch you Seraphina watch this hot Latina pass Good woman. Is that your wife? Renew your voucher piece of shit 20 fucking years that no one cares with that guy says it all Watch this guy drink his piss if I can be a lie on the wall Deepers creepers my issue is your EQ engineer. Fuck it. He's the Mike like an asshole Seraphina really get a good angle on this This is a wild episode of the league it's a PC. Let's look. Let's glue the pubes now I think we have gorilla glue that is actually literally just permanent crazy glue perfect Just staple it to his up. These are the pubes. Oh Well, how many pubes? Look at the whole audience is pubes That's crazy That's all that I will be I won't tradition. I will do the tradition Because I did it in the past I will glue this your face sir I'll be honest super glue is crazy, dude. I think that's a hundred percent that's a hundred percent guys dick hair It's all dick area. Yeah No one won't not one woman's pubes in that pile. I'll be honest. I bet there's some pubes in it women's pubes not one Where's pubes in there? Hey glasses. It's your I need you know, I need you to lean your head back. I don't blame you. By the way, can I tell you this when I don't want to get I don't want to get this fear did this. This was the hardest I'd left in year What the fuck? It's gorilla glue? Yeah, whoa, dude Jay Jay Lewis going I don't know if this isn't funny. I don't know how this is funny Dude, this is still the funniest thing in the world 10 years later 10 years later The funniest thing in the world The funniest fucking thing in the world, I'll shit. Oh god you funny It's so fucking your king your king It's a fucking money man in the fucking world. Can't make banks into the finals next week Part of the Legion of scams give it good get it go run the advanced we're trying to get that off as fast as possible run Seraphina coming back down the stairs as we speak banking the corner with the glass that I see has liquid in it I see the liquid in the course and Puerto Rican pass That's a lot of it. A lot of us do that so much bitch Guys guys, it's you said a shot of piss. Okay, get a shot last of it. Yeah, if you're not a bitch I think it just says drink piss Chug dead piss chug dead piss chug dead piss he buys you can ice it There's no way you can mix that into a shot glass without making a fucking mess. Oh, yeah, if you put some Listen you can do it. I'll lie on the floor and put born it over my face If you spill you're gonna that you're Oh, no, you can't stop. He's a Jeremiah I'm fucking you up. Put it back in pour it back into the big glass. No, please Here we are stop stop stop stop stop stop stop before I do this Let me just say I Fucking hear all kinds of feedback and I'm gonna solve it just drink the fucking piss dude I'm gonna fucking solve it Fucking solve your own problems. I'm gonna solve all your shitty production problems Oh Gentlemen, not sack has made it to the finals next week If you keep here if you keep here go upstairs Dude, you got to get rid of this guy. I'm meeting This guy's my ability, so Lewis and Jay. - Why would he try to make himself puke right here? - Hold on! - To me, by the way, I acknowledge the hero of the night. She's the hero of the night. (audience cheers) No you, miss. - I'm telling you right now, that's a liability right there. - Possibly. - Did he make it? - Not good for you guys. - He was just pretending he likes it. - What do you know if he's whiter than it is a tractum as you. - Did he make it? - Oh hell yeah, give it. - He made it to the bathroom. Thank God, Jesus Christ, dude. That's insane. - Oh my God. - Miss, I mean, if you'll leave him, I'll marry you. I swear, no, I'm sorry, dude. She's the perfect woman, dude. You're a fucking god damn idiot. I have so much respect for you, dude. - I don't know, like, is there a legion of stank's MVP every year 'cause he's that bitch. - Traffin. - Traffin. - Fuckin' crazy. - It's very, by at least employee of the month. - What a night. (audience laughs) - Very nice. - What an amazing night. We had amazing guests. Fuck yeah. We got a little chaotic at time. - Poverty and piss. (audience applauds) - I don't know, this might be the best night of my entire life, Jay. - It's been a pretty great night. - Yeah, well, well, I do, I do have an announcement. - What? - A little, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, you guys. - Oh shit. - I gotta spoke a cigarette. - No. - No, I, um, so, I mean, as you guys know, I've been a part of this thing for the past 15 years. (audience laughs) And I really appreciate, I've grown with the show. I mean, it sounds like there's gonna be a punch line, but like, you know, there's not. - Sure, sure I get that. - Next week is gonna be the last week of me, being the third mic of Legion of Skates. - What? (audience applauds) - I know, in the Venera, we're, we're sad, I mean. - We're sad, we're sad, we're sad, we're sad. - It's been 15 years of us making magic together. - I know, I think it's, I think it's, like we're, - I just wish I had more time, like, I have two kids. - Yeah. - Time is one of the only things that I'm lacking. - And key, sir. - Well, I mean, Legion of Skanks was like the first thing that I did that was successful, you know. And like, from there, like, you know, we've been rocking for, was it like 14, 15 years now? - You know, Tristan, when you, you start something with something. (audience laughs) Start something with somebody and it becomes a thing and friendship. - Hey, man, that's really cool that you're crying 'cause we're your friend. I would also do that if I was in touch with my emotions. - You ran out of our lives and never looked back. - It's just fucking sociopath, fucking lunatic. - I'm still here with you in the trenches. (laughs) - It's off living in his high horse. - Look, Tristan, we love it. This also is gonna be your light. You're gonna come out next week and do your final show. - I'm gonna be out of the band. - Oh, man. - Which is gonna be great. - Here. 15 years of dignity, sir. - You're my brother, I love you fucking more than anyone in the world. - I gotta go kiss Pierce Morgan. - Yeah, dude, you're, I know when I met you, fucking 16, 17 years ago, I knew when I met you, I was like, this guy is gonna be, he's funny, but political pundit is where you're like, your heart is. - It's where I made my roots. - That's where you made your roots. - You can see me on my show, smart of the problem. (laughs) - In the great, smart of the problem, it's good. - Tristan Bowling, everyone, Tristan Bowling. (audience cheers and applauds) - You always be here in spirit, dude. It's never not gonna be Tristan Bowling. - It's beautiful, man. - It's fucking God damn beautiful. How about a for our amazing panel of guests, everyone, Chris Faga. - Chris Stanley. - Thank you. - And of course, Jeremiah Watkins. (audience cheers and applauds) Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us in the Legion of Skanks until next time. - Peace. (audience cheers and applauds) - You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast with Big Joperson. - Did you suck it? I think I'm instinctually suck it. - Big with three scenes. - You must be fucking over, Lewis. - Realist Gomez. - Realist Sink Gomez and Parker Sunker. (clears throat) - Lewis J Gomez. - You're trying to watch a retard draw, swastika, it's hilarious. - I'm sort of done as a point card of podcasting. Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome. - And comedian Tristan Bowling. - The Legion of Skanks podcast. (upbeat music) (dramatic music)