Jennifer Wilder on LANEY & LU's MESSY (& Costly) Portsmouth Opening & the Real Reason Exeter Closed! Plus, Ghosting & Changing Her Name (Part 2)

last week on Seaco Stories. - I was walking to a meeting and I saw the Philly sign at Lainian Lou and it was one of the first times that I had ever had like a really strong download as people in the spiritual world would say, but I saw it. I saw the people, I saw the food, I saw the aesthetics and I just had this vision of this is gonna be where active healthy vibrant people wanna hang. Seven out of 10 people told me before I opened Lainian Lou that people are gonna be in and out of your business and a heartbeat. They're gonna steal from you, they're gonna lie, they're not gonna show up, they'll never love it like you do. All this negativity. - If you could deliver a message to perhaps those of you who doubted you were taking a look at the spreadsheet and said this will never work or the guy who passed you on the street and said this was a dumb idea. What would you say to those people? - I would ask them if they've been in yet. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Welcome to Seaco Stories. They podcast about the people, businesses and newsmakers that make the Seacoast an American hidden gem. I'm Trey Farkas, and on today's episode, part two of my conversation with Jennifer Wilder, the adventurous owner of Lainian Lou in Portsmouth, Ginger Fox Bakery and Stratum, and perhaps the most looked up to woman on the Seacoast. In part one last week, we discussed Jen's Vermont childhood, the good, the bad, and the ugly for 20 years in the manufacturing industry, why she ditched a $300,000 salary to become a yoga teacher, the Eureka moment that led her to open Lainian Lou in Exeter 10 years ago, as well as the recent expansion of her growing portfolio of brands. Later in this episode, Jen, formerly known as Jen DeRogers, will explain the recent decision to change her name, the vehicle that's changed her life, a very, very costly mishap, and also what it's like to date Jen Wilder. Today's podcast is brought to you by Jen Bakery's photography and holistic and hormonal. And to begin, we pick up right where we left off last week with a very tough decision, Jen came to in May of this year. You made the decision to close Lainian Lou Exeter earlier this year. Why did you come to that decision? - A lot, a lot of things. The process of building Portsmouth, and then, of course, we haven't really touched on the fact that I was building Ginger Fox, literally, in parallel. - The Bakery in Stratum. - Yes, the Bakery in Stratum. You know, a lot of things were happening simultaneously for me. And yeah, maybe to try to keep it short, and then we can decide if we want to go anywhere. But I was eager to grow Lainian Lou. And it was the first time that I was going to be taking on being financing. So at that point, I had self-funded everything. So through all of those years, you know, again, we were at that point, essentially seven years in. I had just rolled as much as I possibly could back into the business. And with every renovation, all that stuff, it was all with my own money. And so at this point, I was like, OK, well, this project is way too big. So I'm going to need some help. And at the time, the person that I was dating was pretty excited to be on the journey with me, which I think is a pretty important-- it's just an important bullet point because it helped bolster my courage to do both concepts at the same time. And so we were both equally excited about Ginger Fox. And Ginger Fox was nothing that it was not a business that I had been actively seeking to do. The sweet dreams owners had pursued me. I had said no multiple times. Then they came back and said, no, we really, really want you to do this. Like, please take another look. And so come look at buying the business and taking over from us. We've done this for 35 years. We're tired. We're done. But we really want it to maintain it as a bakery. And we want it to continue to be a community hub in Strathom. And Ginger Fox is really unique as was sweet dreams because there aren't a lot of restaurants in Strathom. So now, of course, you've got, I think, officially Chipotle and Starbucks are in Strathom. But back in the day, really, sweet dreams was really the only spot. And so it was important for them that the legacy continue some way, shape, or form. And I just said to them, I'm not going to continue sweet dreams because that's far too big of a responsibility. One change, and then someone goes, it's just not the same. And so I'm going to rebrand it to something that's authentic to me. I've done a lot of travel throughout Europe. I'm a big fan of European bakeries. And I think that that's somewhat missing from this area. So I'm going to pursue that. Are we all in agreement? And they said, yes. So anyway, so that's why, essentially, I decided to simultaneously do Ginger Fox at the same time as signing the lease at Laney and Lou. So essentially, I had the contractor come in and essentially walk through and quote out and get me sort of all the foundational stuff I needed for Laney and Lou in July. And then we were officially funded in September. And then I signed the lease at Ginger Fox, probably within the next two months. It was fast. What year is this again? This was 22. OK. 22. And so at that point, I was like, OK, we're doing it. Back-to-back restaurants. It's going to be fine. And my thought was that Ginger Fox could be fast. Like, get in, get out, renovate this thing in eight weeks, open it up. I had people on my team at Laney and Lou that were excited to sort of take over that. It had most of the equipment you needed already, probably, right? I had a lot of equipment. Had a lot of the foundations. And then of course, it's like all of a sudden we get in there. And we start looking around. And it's like, oh shit, it's actually not that simple. So I'd had the same contractor quoted it out. I guess it looks simple. We're going to do this. And then as you get into it, you're like, well, actually, you know, that quote that we just gave you for 100 grand. It's really 500 grand. And it's just not quite what we thought it was. And I know we said eight weeks, but now it's going to be 20 weeks. And it's like-- and that's not really true. But it's like, it's going to be many, many weeks. And it's just like, what the hell are you talking about? This is not what we signed up for. This is not why we said yes. And then a small project became a big project. And I really got myself into an interesting situation because that same contractor was underperforming at Portsmouth. And we got ourselves into a situation where we're, I guess, facing a lot of challenges in all three locations all at the same time. And so I don't think anyone really knew how challenging that time was for me. And then my relationship unraveled in May of '23. We hadn't even opened either location yet. And I found myself essentially sleeping on the floor in my friend's apartment in the West End, going, what's going on with my life here? How in the world did I find myself here? And I needed to make that move for my own safety and well-being. So it's kind of like, well, now we're back in survival mode. And how can you do all the things? And so yeah, it isn't that process that I don't think was really what everyone kind of thought it was for me. That's wild because you portray such an image of boss babe and people have you on a pedestal. And you were sleeping on a friend's floor as you were about to open businesses, the dichotomy of that assessment. Yeah, literally. I have a picture of, you know, my eventually had gotten my mattress out from my house. And it was the only thing I had officially moved out of the house at that point. But I have a picture of me in an empty apartment. And my mattress on the middle of the floor in the living room, the TV from my friend was still on the wall. But everything else was gone. And that was what my life looked like on the inside, the day I opened Laney and Luke Portsmouth. Wow. Living out of a bag. Wow, yeah, it's real. So you had all of this going on. And to get back to the original question, you closed Exeter earlier this year. Oh, yeah, why? What really was the impetus for that? So I think what happened was that with everything happening around the back-to-back openings, some really, really tricky things happening regarding the construction of those projects. And how do I say this? I was lit down by my contractor in a really big way. And it cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars. And so ultimately, I started really looking at my businesses. And I started really asking myself, like, OK, what are we doing here? How can I recover from paying for other people's mistakes? And I had made some mistakes along the way, too. But ultimately, I think we could have navigated some of my shortcomings if they had just done their job. So ultimately, I had to really look at. Exeter was still like this beautiful. People would walk into the restaurants. They'd have these amazing experiences, whatever else. But we were struggling internally. I was struggling internally. It became a really difficult location to operate post-COVID. It's really interesting, something happened where, because it's so small, and we're pushing such extreme volumes through this little tiny space, our turnover rates became super high. We weren't seeing those same turnover rates in our other two locations. For employees. Yes. So it was like, we felt like we were always offboarding and onboarding new team members. People were complaining about the ergonomics of the space. This is really hard. It's too hard. I'm not getting paid enough to do something so hard. And you're like, you're strapped. You can't pay someone to make a smoothie more than collectively with tips $22 to $23 an hour. The financials just don't work. And we just were getting to a place where it just felt like this is way more stress than it's needed. And then for the first time, we were getting complaints. Even though we had fully renovated the restaurant, we're getting complaints with people. It's too busy. It's too small. It's too loud. I came in there. I couldn't hear my friend talking, because the blenders were going in. And I was just like, these are fundamental issues with location operationally that I can't solve. I've already invested everything I can into this space. And again, I think something shifted with people and what they were willing to accept or tolerate or participate in post-COVID. And that I was like, I just feel like we're done here. We've done everything we can do. And I need to honestly recover from these huge financial hits that I've taken in other aspects of my business. So it was kind of this place where I just had to ask myself, do I want to keep going? I need to resign the lease in Exeter. We'd come to the end of 10 years. And I asked, I knew that was coming. So I asked myself in March. I took a very last-minute trip to Costa Rica to just be like, OK, what do I want to do? And I sat down on the first night at dinner by myself and asked myself that same question. And overwhelmingly, my body was telling me it's time to let it go, which is not easy because people loved it. I mean, there were many members of our team that also loved it. That was their home. Like, one member of my team, she worked with me for 10 years. You know, it's like, wait, what? You're going to close? We had a high-level leadership team meeting when I came back. And it was probably April timeframe to give us a few weeks to prepare for the closure. And I think there were maybe seven of us, eight of us on the call. Everyone was crying. Everyone was crying. And I told them what had happened in Portsmouth. And they were just devastated. They had no idea what was going on in the background. Yeah. When you had that intuitive feeling in Costa Rica, and you came to the conclusion that Exeter had to go, what emotions came to mind for you? I had asked myself, is this a failure, you know, right away, am I failing this? Am I not pushing hard enough? Like, I could keep going. It's making the revenue. It's profitable. I could keep going. But is it the right move for me personally and energetically? And also, you know, is it the right thing for our business overall? Because at this point now, we've got three locations, 50 or 60 team members, you know, there's a lot to think about, a lot of moving pieces. And it was at that time that I saw, I'm like, I think we can lean this organization down, and I will be a lot happier and more nimble for it. But we had to fight. I had to fight for that. I had to fight for that new vision. And this is what I realized. I'm like, no, this is business. Like, this is how business works. Like sometimes you have to, you have to let something go to let something new in. And that's life in general as well. But we, like, I, there is not a stone in my business that I have not turned over. And I'm a better business coach now for it. Like, I just met with a client. She's also in hospitality. And it was like, I want to talk about marketing. And I want to talk about my vision and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, let's talk about your financials. And you can see the look on her face kind of like, please don't make me. This is not exciting for me. I was like, you will have nothing if you don't know what your metrics are, where every sense is going, and you can predict it, and you've budgeted it, and you've planned, and all the things. And I think we did so many things, right? It was all the things that were out of our control that then it was like, oh shit, you know, 18-week delay in Portsmouth, 18 weeks. Try to be a single LLC, small business owner, who is self-funded, so much of her business, and then have someone hand you an 18-week delay, and just be like, figured out. The delay was for the opening of it. Yes. So you opened 18 weeks later than you anticipated. Yeah. So when you've budgeted everything you've gone to the bank, you've done your pitch deck. You've got your financials. You've got all those things are mapped out. We had a $26,000 contingency fund. Like think about that. Basically, and we had enough money to buy a car, you know, a small car, shitty small car, in the bank. You know, that was set aside. It was the oh shit, something goes wrong, fund. You know, and then the contractor is 18 weeks late. So that's, you know, easily a half a million dollars in revenue, easily, you know, for us, it was hundreds of thousands of dollars of expenses that were unplanned, and then they were dreadfully over budget because they were dreadfully late, and didn't plan for it, didn't tell us, didn't ask for us, didn't just like boom, all get surprised by it, all at the last minute, all when you're trying to open. It was, it was just absolutely breathtaking in all the bad ways. And so 18 weeks delay in Portsmouth leads to a 24 week delay at Ginger Fox, and everyone's asking me, why are you opening? Why are you opening? Why are you opening? I'm like, all in due time, all in due time. And so thank God, when we opened, it was like, the people showed up, the business was there, and whatever else, but it's like, if you do the math on all of those things, and the reason why I'm, you know, I'm being so transparent, I guess about it is like, that's how business works. I now get it. I'm like, I took my punches and ways that I don't think I ever thought I would. And now I, I know like, that's what the greats have done to. Like, you start things, you close them, you're very strategic, you take your punches, you figure it out, and I had to get very creative very quickly. Yeah. Wow, well, thank you for sharing that. I don't think anyone would have expected that that's what was going on in the background. I'm curious, you know, I come from the world of media, and PR is always fascinating to me. When you're closing a business, and you have to think about how to relay this to the public, how did you think about how you wanted to announce it and let the people know that Exeter's closing, but Port Smith is still alive and well. I think that was one of my biggest fears. And in fact, actually, a local media hub has posted an article about us twice in the last month. And I have the, you know, Google alerts set up. So I see it pops up and it's like, you know, unplanned or unexpected restaurant closures in 2025. And I'm like, don't put me on that list. Like I agree, yes, okay, no one expected that Exeter was going to close, but we're not closed, right? So I want to kind of scream at the top of my lungs to be like, no, no, no, we're so open because I think we're all moving so, so fast that, you know, we just see the headline and we see Laney and Loon and we think it's done. It's not done. In fact, I think we are only just beginning now. And there are so many amazing things that have happened just in the last few weeks with our brand. And so I do get a little bit like nervous that people are just going to go to Exeter and go, oh, you're closed. But what I am still seeing is people that show back up. So one woman was like, I'm here with my girlfriend. We actually had a date at Exeter last week and I was like, oh my God, we close in May. (laughing) I know, it's like, they just think we're going to be there and I get it, you know, it's so cute. But she's like, it's okay because we rescheduled, we met here in Portsmouth, that makes it so sweet. But anyway, so I feel like to go back to your question, like, how do you present it? I, to me, dug deep and I was like, I'm not going to go through the P&L and the devastating losses in Portsmouth and, you know, all these things and the performance of another person and, you know, the lack of integrity. I'm not going to go down that road. What I'm going to go down is we came, we built something really beautiful. We did what we said we were going to do and we're at a tipping point. And the tipping point is, do we resign the lease or not? And the decision has been that this chapter has closed for us. But simultaneously, we're innovating the brand, we're growing the band. We are in Portsmouth, we are this huge community hub. And all those things are still true, you know? So what happened in the P&L and with all of these extraneous unplanned circumstances, like, that's not reflective of what the brand is. And that was a great lesson for me. And I am definitely going to be a better business coach for learning all of this, you know? You posted a very heartfelt message on Instagram announcing the news and CCO's online. You were quoted in around that time as well about the closing of the extra location. I'm curious, what was the public's reaction to this news? - Oh my God, it was so beautiful. I'm just so thankful that we were able to close the chapter the way we did. First and foremost, I was shocked by the number of people that just didn't know about Portsmouth and Ginger Fox. And I'm like sitting here thinking and I'm a pretty good marketing person. And I was like, how you don't know about Portsmouth? - Clearly, I don't, I don't get it. Clearly, I've not done a good job here. But it's fine, I get it. You get into your habits and that's your place that you go. And, you know, sometimes extra people who come to Portsmouth and vice versa. So it is what it is. I thought that was kind of funny. But the number of people that came from all over the place, like drove significant miles to get to us that maybe had moved away or whatever, but the number of people that wanted to make sure that they took me aside to tell me a story or to say like, oh, you know, I met my wife here or I had this happen here. I would have dinner or lunch with my daughter every day here. Like, whatever those stories were, a lot of tears, a lot of tears from people, not from me. I mean, I was sad, but just a lot of tears, like this is my family. And that's when you go like, wow, okay, we did it. Yes, they're sad about the food, but they're more sad about the space and they're more sad about, you know, missing the team and the feeling of the brand. And I was just like, it's so much bigger and more powerful than me and it's just, it was a very beautiful experience. As you were receiving that outpouring of support at any point, did you have second thoughts or thought, oh, man, I made the wrong decision. Yeah, because like some people came with money. They were like, how can I invest in your brand so you don't go? And I thought, God, I never thought about that, you know, because that's kind of, it was a bit, again, Exeter, my businesses are all separate. So I'm very clear what Exeter is doing versus Portsmouth, whatever else. So the challenges that we were experiencing in Portsmouth, those are Portsmouth things, you know what I mean? So like the delays in construction, and I keep that very insulated, you know? So I just never thought to be like, wow, people would really want to maybe invest in my brand because in my head, it was, you don't take investments until you have three to five of the same brand. And so that was another devastating sort of result of the issues in Portsmouth was I had to say no to Laney and Lane number three. I actually had number three in the works in Dover and I had to say no to it and walk away from that. And that was really hard because a, you know, a lot of people had put a lot of time and energy, you know, the building owner, myself, to get three going. We had contracts in place. So it's like, you have to look at yourself and go, I can't do it. Like 18 weeks late here, 24 weeks late there. And I'm supposed to be open and Dover in 12 weeks. Like clearly that's not gonna happen, you know? So yeah, wild times. - Coming up, how gendi sides on the ultimate rebrand and why she's tired of men ghosting her? That's next, but first, there's another gen on the Seacost you have to know about. It's Gen Backus and she's one of the very best photographers the Seacost has to offer. She's worked in the biz for 15 years and she's the go-to photographer for small business owners who need to update their websites, spruce up their social media, or replace those same headshots you've been using for the last decade. Her reputation is Christine. I know firsthand that Gen takes excellent care of her clients and that she always goes the extra mile to ensure you're happy. She's a delight to work with throughout the entire process and always delivers her final products on time and to your satisfaction. Gen especially loves working with farmers, restaurant owners, and any other go-getters who are chasing small business dreams. If that's you, you're in luck. Gen is offering Seacost Story's Lessoners 10% off your first photography session with her. All you have to do is center a direct message on Instagram @genbackusphoto. Tell her you're a fan of the show and that you'd like to take her up on the offer. Again, that is J-E-N-N-B-A-K-O-S photo on Instagram. Now ladies, listen up. You ever feel like your hormones are running the show and that you're just along for the ride? One week, you're crushing yoga at three bridges and the next week you're crying at Lexi's because they forgot your fries. I've been there. Well, maybe for other reasons I've been there, but you get the point. Anyways, that's where Dover's Dr. Whitney Elcester comes in. She's the founder of Holistic and Hormonal and she helps women actually understand what their bodies are doing. From fatigue to mood swings to that mysterious 3PM crash that no amount of Duncan coffee can fix, Whitney is your go-to. She takes a full-body approach, balancing your hormones, dialing in your nutrition, and getting you back to feeling like you. You know, the version of you who doesn't need a nap, a snack, and a cry just to make it through Wednesday. So if you're ready to trade burnout for balance, check out Holistic and Hormonal.org. Visit the contact page and write in that Seaco story sent to you for a free lab consultation, which may just be exactly what you need to get you back on the right track. Thank you, Dr. Whitney, and thank you Jen Backus for supporting the podcast. Now back to my conversation with Jen Wilder. You did the ultimate rebrand. You changed your name recently. Everyone for years around these parts has known you as Jennifer DeRogers and then out of nowhere. I mean, I, you would told me behind the scenes that something big was coming. You had teased some things that were changing and in my head I was trying to think, what could it be, what could it be? This one completely out of left field. I had no idea that you were going to change your name. How did this happen? I mean, it's just, I mean, I mean, just like anything with me, it comes from a lot of, a lot of deep reflection and a lot of honesty. And I am a work in progress. And like I said, I am on a mission to get as close to my authentic self as I possibly possibly can. And sort of the unraveling of other people's stories, other people's versions, other people's expectations of me, maybe as a Pisces is someone incredibly sensitive. I took a lot of that on. Like, oh, you're smart, you're supposed to be an engineer. Like, there's 20 years of my life, you know? And oh, you have this successful restaurant. This is what you're supposed to do. And I get it, but I'm now more interested in doing it on my terms. And so when I had a very, what I would call a very beautiful and respectful uncoppling from my husband in 2019, where we just decided, you know, he stood by me for four years of, the first four years of Laney and Lou. And I was very rarely home. And I never, I'd never got anything but love and understanding and encouragement. Like, if this is what you want to do, go, go do. Here's very clear, this is not what I want to do, but if this is what you want to do, go do, and I'll be home and I'll have dinner ready whenever it is that you get home. And so that's how that was, but I just had this deeper feeling that something else was meant for me. And so ultimately we decided to uncopple and we did it in a very beautiful, respectful way. And I held on to, you know, my married name because that was what I was told I should do. And it sounds ridiculous. It sounds juvenile and silly when I say it now, but that as a woman, that is kind of what we do. We change our names and we take on somebody else's familiar, familial identity. And then we're kind of left if something falls apart. So oftentimes 87% of women will have kids. I do not have my own kids. So then you're left even with a bigger dilemma 'cause if you don't have kids to sort of hold on to that name, what do you do? And so, you know, I was talking it through with people, what should I do, should I change my name, should I not? And it was like, no, you're too early on in your business to sort of flip the switch on people and you will be forgotten. Like, and it sounds, of course I'm gonna be forgotten, but it's like, you're gonna confuse people that I can be able to find you. Like, it's gonna confuse the brands and we really want to just like keep it going forward and I get that advice. But what ended up happening was time went on 'cause we're six years down the road now. People would say my name and I would kind of be like, almost like, but that's not me. It doesn't feel like me. And of course no one can spell it and no one can say it so that doesn't help either. But it's just so interesting and then I kind of have to explain it. And it's like, oh, are you French? Well, I am, but that's not my. It's just like, yeah, it's like then I'm like, why am I explaining myself to these people? So what kind of started with a light hearted conversation at Laney and Lou and Exeter one day where someone botched my name or whatever. And I said, I think I'm gonna change my name. Cheryl Strait did it, I can do it too. And the team was like, I'm actually totally on board with that. I'm like, okay, what is it gonna be? And then I started thinking about it. It's like, what is it gonna be? And they actually came up with the name. So they were like, this is who you are. This is how you live. This is what you're teaching others to be. And it kind of just stuck in a few people. Like I just talked about it in just with a few people. I think I'm gonna change my name. And then all of a sudden they started calling me it and I'm like, this actually does feel like home to me. This feels real to me. And Cheryl talks about this in her book. Like I took hold of this identity 'cause it was mine. And so many ways, that's what I've done. And it's not an effort to abandon anyone else to retell my story, to make anyone feel less. It's not that. It's like, it's really representative of, this is, this is my time now in this in midlife, where I am more committed than ever to be me. And that's either gonna work for you or it's not. But I'm confident with who I am and how I wanna show up. And I am not a straight line. I don't make sense to people. I wear stiletto heels and drive a sprint to van. But it's okay, that's okay, you know? And hopefully people will feel empowered to do the same. And I had more than a few people, women, contact me go, I've been wanting to change my name. And I'm like, there we go. Even if one person feels more aligned, then I did my part. - So who is Jennifer Wilder? (laughing) - I mean, she's an adventurous, that's the thing. She is willing to explore courage, grace and freedom on my core values and everything I do really, really circles around that. And that's not always easy. I do have very high expectations for myself and what I'm capable of doing, but I'm committed more than ever to creating as much positive impact as I can. And really taking the foundations of how I live my life and teaching other women that they can do it too. That's where the fun is. Like I'm excited about the opportunities to grow the hospitality brands, but I'm also really excited to just be like, almost like the baddest CEO possible. Sounds so cheesy, but really, like I'm getting stoked now when I just saved my company $10,000 by changing insurance companies. It's like those are the things that light me up. Like let's talk about payroll. How can we save some money? Because that's gonna make me more available to do this other big work. - Right. - Quick aside, the sprinter man, love that thing. I love seeing it around town. I see it around town all the time. Vanity plate. - Yeah, usually. - Great vanity plate, by the way. - Thank you. And usually I'm playing Seeker Stories in the van when I drive by you. And I'm just like, this is so weird. - It's such a small town, it happens all the time. What prompted that decision? - Okay, truth. - Yeah. - No one's listening. Ladies, don't judge me, I, okay. I have mapped out what my ideal, ideal's not the right word, but what my next relationship is gonna look like. And I would really love this man to be equally as adventurous as me. And the adventurer is a mindset for me. It's not necessarily an action. The action is great. Like hopefully Hygx and he's active and he cares about himself. But does he live with a sense of adventure? And so what does that mean? You as a yogi know what the beginners mind is, right? So does he live in the world of, I'm an expert in all things, or I'm a beginner, I'm just experiencing and living my life for the first time, every day is a new day, every day is a new adventure. So anyway, I found myself kind of waiting for the guy. I was like, I need to find a guy that has a spiritual van, so I can go spiritual van things up. And then one day I asked myself after I had gone on a date with a guy with a sprinter van and it was not really what I wanted to be. I was just like, I'm not waiting around for you or anyone. I'm gonna do this for myself and I had had many men say to me, well this is not a woman's vehicle. And I'm like, why? (laughs) No one wants, and people are like shocked that it's my daily driver. And I just made a decision. I'm like, no, I'm gonna do this for myself. I don't need someone else to do this for me. I'm gonna do this for me. And I'm so glad I did because I literally have never had a physical thing bring me so much joy. - Really? - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. Every time I get in that thing, I'm like smiling ear-to-ear. (laughs) - It's so you. I can't believe people said that to you. This part's something that I'm curious about. So you've been, you've had two marriages. You are the CEO of several successful businesses, very well known. I'm very curious for you what dating is like because knowing how men work, I bet men would be intimidated by all of that. - Yeah, I don't really know. I mean, I do think that the world of dating kind of brings up everyone's shit. And so, I don't know. Sometimes it seems like people wear that right on their sleeve and you're just like, oh boy, you haven't done the work. Maybe that's the art of online dating. But I've found it to be equal parts, frustrating and equal parts rewarding. I've met a lot of cool people. I don't really keep in touch with them. It's not like I'm like, oh, we should be friends instead. But it's been hard. And I think as a person that is incredibly sensitive, I find it difficult when people just behave badly. I would rather you tell me that you don't like me than to be ghosted by you. And I think that's the hard part. I think that's just reflective of who we are as human now. Like, I can cast you aside. And it doesn't matter because I've only hung out with you a couple of times. Or I don't really know you that well. I barely know your last name, Little Loan. Do I have to respect you? And what I think is really sad is, you know, I've been on a handful of dates in the last few weeks with men that have said, thank you so much for telling me how you feel. 'Cause I've just said to them, thank you. It was a pleasure meeting you. I wish you the best. I wish you all the greatest love. But you are not the person that I'm, yeah, I don't feel a connection with you that I'm looking for. And like, literally I have men, I've had men tear up in front of me, saying that I've said it to them face to face. And they're just like the number of people that just ghost were like nine out of 10 people will ghost. I'm like, come on, people, we are better than this. - Yeah, what are we doing? - We are better than this, you know? - I love that, direct communication. What a concept. - The fear of, I think it's a fear of conflict, right? It's a fear of conflict, and I don't know. - But it's so much better just to come out and say it. Like, you can't really combat that or come back with anything. Boom, you're not my person. Okay, I get that. Move on. - Right, exactly. - And everyone's better for that. - Yeah, and plus we've made, we've only gone on one, two, three or four dates. And so it's not like this big catastrophic life ending event, it's just being respectful. And I think that's the thing with dating that I find is really difficult. You just kind of never know. Like, oh, I feel like this conversation is going somewhere, but that person at any moment, just be like, boom, they're gone. And so I have to remind myself that, oh, your work here is to show up as you. And if they ghost, then they're doing you a favor. - Yep. - And that's it. - People show you who they really are. - It's a reflection of them, not of you. It's like a constant reminder of the work, I guess. - On a first date with you, how long before you asked the question, what are your thoughts when to rest? - Well, now, I think I did a better job this time. So I've taken big periods of time off, which I think was really good for me. So after I left my last partner, I was like, I need time. I need time to get my businesses going, get my life in order, get out of this empty apartment. And I'm so thankful for that time, but I got on to an app where I just put up a few photos of myself, like head shots, essentially, and kind of left it at that. This time, though, I have pictures of myself in the van. Pictures of myself. And I'm like, this is who I am, like from stilettos, to sprintavans. And like, hopefully you think that is somewhat attractive to you. And you've done your due diligence to actually read the words that I've put in place. But yeah, I want a man that can lead, but a man that can, the trifecta, you know, can he lead, can he stand behind me, can he stand beside me, and maybe even all at the same time. And I do think he's, I do think he's out there. Tico's men, why is that? That was terrified for all those people that were on the stage the other day at the singles event. Oh, yes, that's Tico's singles. Why? I don't know, because I just was imagining what it would feel like to sit up there and have someone else. Well, exclusive for the audience. We're going to do another one soon within a few months. And we might, we had requests for an age restriction because at our last one, which was just 21 and over, we had a bunch of 55-year-old women's slides at the DMs and be like, what's the age demos going to be at this thing? I want to go, but I don't want it just to be 28-year-old guys are my options. So I think we're going to have some type of 35 plus or 40 plus events coming on. So maybe we'll get you pitched on stage then. I love it. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might do it just for fun. You better. It's so fun. I mean, you throw events, you're used to getting people in the same room, just such an energy. And it was such a wholesome energy. And this also happened to be the week that Charlie Kirk was shot. So there was all sorts of things going on in the world. And it was just such a wonderful cap to what was a rough week for humanity. And just having that wholesome fun energy in the room was lovely. Yeah, as someone that was obviously in the audience, I thought it was so cool to be able to listen to all the people that were standing around me, sort of cheering on and just being so loving to all the people that were up there. And I guess there could have been a place where you could have heard a woman go, ooh, who would want to match up with that guy? Or vice versa? None of that. None of that vibes were high. People were chatting. We all had our eyes on a couple of people. And I was like, I'm at least going to go say hi to him. This will be good. This will be good. Yeah, it was fun. Lots of real life stuff. People going up to, you know, we put wristbands on the people who were taken so that you would know who was taken and who wasn't. Oh, I didn't know that. A couple of married women gave me their numbers afterwards, which I thought was interesting. Really, can I see your face and see? Do you have the wristband? Oh, yeah. Nobody asked me for wristbands. They must have known I was single. I've got that look on. Well, thank you very much for coming to that. And the audience will have more details on that. A couple more questions for you about the modern day gen. The wilder way. This is all a part of the gen wilder rebrand. What is it? I have gotten really clear on the frameworks of the framework of what's really important to me. And what do I want to teach other women? And I think what can happen is as we can get into rooms where we try to compartmentalize ourselves. The whole world is asking us to compartmentalize ourselves all the time. And so that does not really work well for women. We don't really want to have to tear ourselves apart. We are one being trying to navigate this one life. And so I've gotten really clear on, we talk a lot about holistic wellness and authenticity and stuff like that. But it's like, let's break that down. Let's say we'd be a little bit more scientific about it. What are we really talking about? And a lot of the programming that's out there, especially for women in business, is all around business. And so it can oftentimes be formulated around very masculine models. And so I want to and am trying to teach from a lens of you. You are a multifaceted human. And we need to take care of all the parts. And if we take care of all of the parts, maybe not equally or at the same time or whatever else, you're more likely to feel a level of fulfillment and success in your life. Because if you're killing it in your business, but your relationships at home are failing, what are you going to be thinking about? You're going to be thinking about the relationships at home that are failing. And so what my framework really brings together is what I call the wilder way. But the six pillars of which I really live my life. And I've also been thinking about them not necessarily as pillars, but as compass points. And one of the things that I talk a lot about is the adventurous. And this is a word that I've been utilizing in my own head for years. - I love this word. I never heard it before you, I love it. - Thank you. I actually thought when I started talking about it, I thought I was the creator of this word. And I remember Googling it and not finding anything. And I was like, oh, I got to trademark this. Of course I didn't. And this goes way, way back, you know, probably 70 years ago with some of the collateral that we were starting to build around wild adventure's life. Anyway, I just googled it yesterday. I don't know. At some point the webster dictionary added it to it. So I'm like, bummer, somebody else got to me. But whatever, the adventurous. Really at the end of the day, I've come to realize that we have incredible power as women. We are incredibly intuitive beings, right? So the way I've been putting words to that is like, she doesn't need the map, she is the map. She is the map. I am the map. I know where I need to go. I know I can find the way to that destination if I really open myself up to receive it. And it's really not about the destination, which is the whole thing with adventure, right? The hike matters more than the summit at the end of the day. If you're so focused on the summit and you haven't paid attention to the hike, then you've lost the whole point. So anyway, so she is the map. And the compass points to being able to read the map are genuine relationships, wealth creation, meaningful impact. So that's the community piece. Obviously, whole wellness, adventure, of course. And what's the other one I'm missing? Accountability with integrity. Because we need to be held accountable. If we can't do it ourselves, the integrity piece is, how can I bring in someone into my world that will hold me accountable to what I said with unwavering integrity? And I feel like my mission in life is to create events and masterminds around and teachings around those six compass points. And just to realize, I can't just be one thing. I can't just take care of my business or I can't just go out and have fun. I got to bring it all together to be my best self. Why those six? Those are the six that I focus on. Those are the six that have been resonant for me. Those are the things that I experience in other women. And I think the adventure piece is typically the one that sort of gets left behind. And we're expected the adventure should be that I go to Disney with my family every year. And that's fine if that's what that looks like for you. But I do think there's this greater piece of, again, the beginner's mindset, the adventure mindset. That's sort of the baseline for it. But then also, how can I push myself to experience new things to go further physically, to push myself mentally in ways that I never thought was possible? I just think that men are really good at doing that. You're sort of taught to do that, and we're not. For women who are listening and are interested in joining in the wilder way, how do they go about doing that? Yeah, right now you could just follow me. I try to put my musings online as best as I possibly can. I'm basically redeveloping a program that I had last year with a bunch of women. I coached 25 women last year, and 16 of them were in, or 18 of them, I guess, were in one specific program called "Nursing Greatness." And now I'm going to be reprogramming that to look a little bit different, to follow the compass points. But it will be more true to a mastermind experience. And so I'm working on essentially like a 60 to 120-day launch plan right now, where I can get that out. And I could work on it all the time. I just need to get it done, get it up there. And a mastermind is what? Well, masterminds are different than sort of coaching programs, because in a mastermind, you're really tapping into the minds of the others in the group. So prohold premise that we're stronger together than alone. So it's not like a course where you might have a download and someone's telling you what to do, and then you have to hold yourself accountable. This is really like, we're in this together, where you're going versus where you're going, versus where I'm going. Those things may be different, but we're going to be open to supporting each other. And then there's a facilitator. So that's where I would come in to help bridge the gap when needed, but we're doing it together. We're rising up together. And then the idea of my live experiences or some of these bucket list adventures would be, let's go climb the mountain, if you will. Together, because a lot of, it's just like why guys go golfing together. It's like a lot of brilliant ideas and problems can be solved on the trail. That's just my methodology, you know? I love it. OK, so you're working on a bunch of things. I do have one question that I've been dying to ask you for a while. A lot of owners, I imagine the goal as the business grows is to gradually step away from the business. And I feel like you're more entrenched in the Laney and Lou business than you ever have in every. I've had the honor of going to a lot of private events at Laney and Lou over the last few months. You're always there. I'm at Laney and Lou a lot during the day. 85% of the time you're there. Yes. You work a lot. Yes. Why are you still so hands-on and public facing with the Laney and Lou business? When most owners, usually this far end would be like, I just want this thing to run itself. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe I'm a little bit less forward-facing at Ginger Fox. I mean, I do go over there every single week and hang out with the team. And we have leadership team meetings and things like that every week. But at Laney and Lou, it's a little bit different. Right now, I am the acting general manager, so I do spend a little bit more time there. But also, it's in my neighborhood. It's big enough for me to be able to work there. So I think there's some logistical things that just make it kind of more simple to be there. But also, Laney and Lou, as like we said, is about community generation. So so many of the things that we do in all of our businesses are regarding that. We have similar missions, core values, things like that. Obviously, communities at the heart of all of that. But with Laney and Lou, it's like, this is my opportunity to welcome people into the space. And it's a strategy having all of these events at Laney and Lou. It's a brand awareness strategy. It's amazing. It's not all about strategy, but it is an amazing way to cross collaborate with other business owners, get our brand in front of other communities that maybe wouldn't have heard of us, or maybe wouldn't have branched out. So that's a big reason why. And I don't necessarily go out to all the other networking events. So it's like, well, you're here. I want to host you. But I want to make sure you're having the best possible time. But we're talking about-- there are so many-- there's only so many minutes in the day. So we are talking about how do we bring in another level of support for events and catering coordination and execution, because there's going to be a point where, you know, I'm just not going to be able to physically do it. Yeah. The question I'm sure you've been asked by a bunch of people in the area who look up to you. How do you do it? How do you do all this stuff? I think one thing is that I-- there's a lot of personal satisfaction with seeing so much goodness come from the brands. For me to sit in a room and see other people collaborating together, coming together, and connecting is just brings me so much joy. And the brands themselves, like, we've pushed-- don't hold me to this. But I'm going to say somewhere between $150,000 back into the-- no, probably even more. But yeah, probably a lot more. Probably between $150,000 and $200,000 back into the community in the last 10 years. So it's a big, big, big part of us is giving back thing. And how do we be the best possible neighbors? And I mean, how could you not fall in love with that? Yeah. Yeah, you guys partner with Prescott Park Arts Festival during the summer. You'd recently have to board on as a sponsor at Creative Mortings. And Laney Lou is also the very first sponsor of Seaco Stories earlier this year. Yes, I love that. We thank you for that. Jen, I thank you so much for joining the show. We do have one final question. And we ask this same final question at the end of every episode every week. And it is brought to you by David Higgins, a Portsmouth resident and investment advisor. As he grows his local business, he is proud to support hours to work with David directly to level up your investment game. Just send him an email at the address you can find in the show notes. Jen, if you were to leave this Earth tomorrow, what would you want people to remember about you? I hope that they would remember me as being kind and warm. And gentle. I hope that they felt valued and seen. So you're doing a very good job of that on the Seacoast on social media and all the other things that I know you are building behind the scenes. Thank you on behalf of the Seacoast audience for all you do. And then also personally, thank you for me. You have been-- I randomly slid into your emails or DMs a year and a half ago asking you to be a guest at my live podcast that I did before Seacoast stories that we did at the musical lounge in March of 2024, which was really the catalyst for what has become Seacoast stories. And I was a nothing kid. You had no idea who I was. And you said yes. And you participated in that event. And we've worked together in a bunch of ways since then. And it's been really awesome getting to know you and to become friends with you. And you're such a big supporter of mine and believer in mine. And we actually had a conversation before I officially launched Seacoast stories. I just kind of ran the concept and the idea by you. We sat down. We tweaked a couple of things. And I really just needed validation from someone else who's entrenched in the area, hey, will this work? Will this be received well? And you gave me the green light and been hitting the ground running ever since. So thank you for personally believing in me and for being such a champion of mine. I think we nailed it. Yeah, that's everything we're doing well. We've heard Seacoast stories on in the Lanyan Lou bathrooms earlier today. So what a full circle moment. I love that. People go in there like, I think I heard someone talking in there like it is the podcast. You definitely want to hear Troy's voice while you are using the restroom. What a legacy to leave on the Seacoast. Thank you, Jen. Thank you. That's Jennifer Wilde, the owner of Lanyan's Lou and Port Smith, Ginger Fox Bakerie and Stratham and also a dear friend of mine. If you want to spend more time with Jen, she offers one-on-one business coaching as hosting a group Adventure S hike next weekend and is even hiring a new executive coordinator to support her growing portfolio of brands. For more info on all of that, just visit the links in the show notes. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please let us know by leaving a review on Apple podcasts or by submitting a rating on Spotify. And if you see me around town this week, perhaps at Lanyan Lou, the restroom or singing karaoke at D Street Tavern, please stop me and say hi. I would love to hear your story. I'll be back with a bonus episode on Thursday, but until then, have a great week. Live free or done. (upbeat music)