Jelly Roll Called The President A Fat Pig | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

100% Hey guys, new two bears one gave and Tom's catching up on his Kim rolls Okay, man Ah You liked that didn't you? So what happened bro jelly Jelly roll called the president of fat pig When did you wait on TV like on his? They are press a fat pig He didn't What happened He said he said I think I mean I watched it but I'm paraphrasing so He said mr. President from one fat pig to another And then what he got lit up about that it's so funny because No, there's there's like there's a couple of like all-way consistent lightning rods for like people to go crazy Online and a lot of them are around the president, right like that like He is just he's so polarizing that like his supporters Go fucking nuts in comments, and then his the people that that hate them go crazy and like and then there's some Diagram of like Kimmel in that because he's such an outspoken critic and people go crazy on him online where you just like It's wild that he's an outspoken Critic of a sitting president and people go nuts on him for just for that and then if you as if like I'm sure when Jellie was like I'm gonna host that he probably got bombarded with crazy online hate about that Yeah, so he was he was he like in his monologue is going hey from one fat pig to another And then people were like what the fuck Was crazy, too, is that from you know a big thing for him was to criticized Biden so much on his Mental state, right like that he was just like you're fucking auto pen and like Skye's like and not even there Like this guy's out of his black and white, but then in is particularly in this Presidency he is so clearly physically and mentally falling apart like his cognitive stuff is clear that he's not as sharp But as he was he fucking falls asleep. He's definitely put on weight He moves around differently than he did before. He's he doesn't look healthy and he's 80, you know, I mean like it's like I'm not saying 80's different men My dad is My dad's seven my dad said to me the other day. He goes my buddy called and he said 60 70 is the new 60 and I said yeah, and he goes but 80 still fucking 80 80. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I mean if he were it is an 80-year-old Business man no one would really I think spend that much time on it But when you're the president of the United States, you know, there's a lot that obviously goes with that and It's fair to and also he he's always done these BS Reports from his physicians You read they're like I've never seen anyone in better health like you're like what is this dude? What are you talking about like you're clearly manipulating paying this guy to say this shit It's always bullshit like where he's like Trump came in here, and I was like what are you a fucking Olympian? And then that's the official report from the doctor so sorry, but Jellie said that and then what the next day he had to go like I didn't mean that or what no, no, he meant it okay He said it and then I Think he said it on like Tuesday or Wednesday I did Thursday say don't shoot Friday So I was a very last episode and he did a monologue that I think was I think was very well received I'm not sure you know, it doesn't matter really because Part of this country what won't hear you Yeah, the other part of the country will only hear you listen like it's like there's Telling him in his in his big address. Was he telling him about like Losing weight or something. Yeah, I think he's talking about losing weight I guess he's like hey, miss president from one fat pig to the other So I think that's the response he was looking for yeah, it's so crazy to hear someone say like Mr. President from one fat pig to another Yeah, you got to do more steps and so he he was and I I didn't hear it from jelly, but I did hear it from his manager his manager was like Was like yeah, man, it's been pretty wild and and but you know everyone at Kimmel I think they deal with this every day No, every day they probably don't bad guy at that and and jelly didn't say anything to me personally like he didn't he was like He was like this has been great. It's been a blast and he was like this is gonna be awesome. It's me and you we got Leslie Manon like we talked and we hung out and he was he was awesome He didn't give a monologue that I think they edited down that was like 20 minutes and I think if I'm not mistaken and once again I'm paraphrasing and I'm speaking for a celebrity which I should not do but he's a friend of mine, so I think I'll do it I'll speak for him and Rogan or the two people speak for mm-hmm He was saying ultimately his biggest regret is the Grammys I think that's what I if you if you were going to say like There's a thing that that he thinks about it was his And when they pulled him aside the Grammys and they were like yo, what's your political stance and who did you vote for whatever? And he didn't he didn't want to make a statement He thought it would be taken as a political statement and in not making statement It was made into a very political statement and that was his regret That was what his monologue was about and that and and and and quite honestly he reiterated shit We already know about jelly. Listen I think if you're a fan of jellies Then you're a fan of jellies if you all the sudden decide that you're not a fan of jellies because he made a joke about the president Being a fat pig. Yeah, being a fat pig. I don't I don't think you were there for the ride Yeah, this is a guy who's been prison. I mean he's got he's got he's got you know a textured history So like there's way crazier things said about presidents like it's for that to like below you away It's like yeah, people say wild shit about presidents all the time. Yeah, you're the most famous person on earth I called the end. I called the end. I talked about you in the in the thing. I talked about you and jelly in my panel really? Yeah, but catchually and not it didn't turn out as good as I wanted it to what did you say nothing? There's nothing really You just said you had something to talk about so what is it? No, no, I was like no, no, no I that actually wasn't what I was talking about oh he said some I don't know what I don't know how we got on it but he was like how I Oh he asked me I okay, I'm gonna paraphrase this Kimmel because You didn't see it, okay, he talked about I told him that I personally Should have be responsible for all his weight loss that I am the reason he lost weight And I believe that I actually fully believe that you told him that I told him that and end He agreed And he knows he knows that I'm not inaccurate. I'm off. He did a lot of hard work. He had trainers. He ate right discipline daddy out of but If we had if you we came in that one day and we needed content for two bears You had run a 5k with your buddy. I think that's cancer or something right down in Florida Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you were like it was fun. That's all you said yeah And you're like now understand why you do those things and then we're like what are we talking about? And I was like I don't know and you're like when's this type of so drop they said near's day I said we'll talk about near's resolutions and we said We should throw 5k by May that's it casually casually we came up with that idea on the thing we called it was great context We called everyone Jelly saw that and went on the knelt boys by the way. I got it put in a pin in here any don't let me forget Uh Kyle from the knelt boys. It's the coolest thing I've ever seen just Kyle Okay, so I say that he goes on knelt boys. He goes I'm gonna do the 5k now I think he's responsible technically for the success of 5k because he says on the knelt boys goes to the people magazine All the sudden Netflix wants to buy it all the sudden we're having a huge 5k next you know we're in Tampa with 10,000 people next year We're doing another one guys we haven't we haven't announced yet. We have another 5k coming out. It's gonna happen beginning of April It's gonna be fucking bigger than you've ever could imagine but that 5k changes life and I casually said to him I remember the moment We're me you lian and bunny and then I realized they had gotten divorced and I said you you're, you know, and I kind of stumbled, I think. And I was like, you know what I mean? And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, and then I, and I don't, you know, I just talk, and I go, everyone's getting fucking divorced. And he goes, yeah. And I think he was going to go, Tom, and I said, I go, man, it's like everyone's buying new cars. And I'm still driving around in a beater. Leanne is in the green room with Georgia. I can hear her gasping from the green room. And I, but I'm like, but it gets a laugh. So I'm like, I go, and he goes, Leanne's not a beater. And I go, well, she's not a new car. I was like, you know, don't have a new car smell. Like it's not like I, it's like a 92 Mercedes. It's a good car, it's dependable. It starts, but it doesn't turn heads at Valle anymore. And, and then I realize I can like literally hear everyone laughing backstage because it's through the tunnel. And it's because Leanne's in the back. And I'm like, okay, I love my wife. I went away, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so that's how I ended up talking about you and, and, and Leanne. But he was, he was totally fine. And then we talked about something I do want to talk to you about. I talked about it on Kimmel. I do want to talk to you about it. But we'll get into a second. But, but you're going to remember what it is? 100%. Okay. 100%. So, but yeah, but, and so I don't think it was affecting jelly personally the stuff that he said about the president. But I think what was affecting him is this stuff that he didn't say at the Grammys. You know, everyone wants to be, everyone wants you to take a side and they want it to be their side. Yes, that's right. And then they go, oh, I like you because you took my side or I fucking hate you because you didn't take my side. Yeah. And people go, I'm certain there's people right now going, well, we've heard Tom's side, what about Bert's side. And then I go, I don't talk about anything because Tom, you were with me when I found out we were at war with Iraq. Iraq? Iran. Iran. We're with our war with our Iran. Iran. I was with you when you fell. Yes. Well, we were McDill and they're like, yeah, we're at war. And I was with you when you've discovered you were 52. That was with you. That's why I don't talk about politics. This episode is sponsored by Bluetooth. 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No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not even particularly interested in being politically, you know, involved in like throwing out of pins on there. But I just feel like, you know, what I said in this episode is like pretty straightforward observational stuff, man, like calling the president a pig is funny and a fat pig and, and it's not, it's not in the grand scheme of things. One of the crazier things you could say, like, it's not that great. It's not one of the craziest things the president said. No, yeah, he says such wild shit. I think he called Rosie O'Donnell the fat pig, didn't he? He's called her a pig before, yes, he's called her a pig. He's also, I mean, every week he says stuff that would take down anybody else in politics, anybody else, it would be a career ender and it's just, we're just saying that Billy Bush, Billy Bush, yeah, he got, he, he faced peril for what Trump said. Yeah, he did, it's so, I'll say this, whatever you think about, um, Trump and what he said, you know that like 99% of people, even people who disagree with him at that point would have been like, yeah, yeah, man, like no one goes like that, don't speak like that. People do that around famous people, you know, athletes, if they're saying wild shit, you just go like, yeah, man, for sure. You don't spend your time going like, you know, that's really appropriate to say that. I hope you're not actually doing what you're saying. No one does that. It's funny to see like, cause there were rules to old cancel culture that people still try to apply. They're like, it's almost like watching, it's almost like watching a hot chick that's older, like a 60 year old hot chick who's aged out like, no, no, no, no, no, no, like a regular hot chick. Oh, right. Yeah. That now 60 and she's kind of falling off. Oh, yeah, that's not so much. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I sit at the bar and try to get the bartender's attention. Something that was so easy for her at 21 is now impossible. And she's confused like, why isn't this working? And like, I thought, I think of that when they think that they tried to cancel, they tried to go after Mel Gibson for making fun of a sign language interpreter. Did you see that? No. Recently. Like, oh, I have to see that. Please pull up Mel Gibson. And I was like, and I was doing a radio run for the permission of party tour. I was calling the radio phoneers and they're like, what did you think about Mel Gibson? Isn't it crazy? And I was like, are you familiar with his work? Yeah. Is it worse than the voicemail he left his ex wife to those were amazing. I mean, he is the greatest at that like at the, at the, hey, yeah, my bad dog. So he's right here. I see. Can you hit that clip? So for winning a legendary man himself, Mr Mel Gibson. That's it. That's it. That's it. And that's what he did. And all the school cancel culture came after him like, like, can you believe that? Yeah. That's, that's not that bad. It's not that bad. No. Not definitely not. And if you take his body to work, that's definitely not that bad. I bet he didn't lose a wink for sure. I bet he was like, oh, what's his apology? It says he, if you go back to, I think it was all in caps. Like he was shouting, I'm sorry. He's apologizing for hand gestures. Mel tells sometimes when you get pushed on stage, your mind is all over the place. Sometimes spontaneous thoughtless idiocy is displaced. I mean, that's actually true when you, you kind of do sometimes walk out and you just do something that you're like, whatever, I just was, you're kind of nervous, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Wow, and then there's there more than that he had to like say something. Yeah. Oh, yeah scroll down He adds there was no intended maliciousness attached. I certainly apologize to anyone who was upset by it I mean literally Almost everyone at some point of their life has seen someone doing sign language and gone like Like you know, that's a it's all it's it's juvenile, but like yeah On the scale of like Jews are responsible for all wars and like this like come on We're gonna if you were offended. I hope you get ripped by a pack of What's the last part? I don't any what was it? I don't know That was but I think it's kind of funny like when you see like Well, it's you know, it's interesting because I think any actual I'm trying to think of the right way to say this because Anyone dealing with real shit. Yeah, like with something real in their life. Yeah Seize this and is like, huh? Yeah, of course, and then people who you know, this is a great transition Tom This is a great transition so Cancer culture for lack of better word. You know what people coming after jelly for saying the president was a fat pig or mel Gibson for hand-giving behind a sign language guy Yeah Their outrage is identical to a panic attack Uh-huh meaning it's very real to them their outrage is real to them true That's true, but to a rational person They look like a fucking lunatic. Yeah, you look irrational for sure So like when you have a panic attack and I talked about this on on Kimmel on gel with jelly when you have a panic attack It is very real to you but it's not real To everyone else. It's actually comical. It's actually comical like the thing that makes you Literally think I will I cannot live in this world right now. I need to get out of my skin This is making me crazy when you tell someone are you feeling earthquakes by the way? Am I yeah Mm-hmm. Okay If by the way if an earthquake happens, I called it So um so I want so I'm gonna back in to my panic attacks. Okay, so I've been having panic attacks pretty Pretty regularly and pretty aggressively like like uh really bad like beyond that And I would love to talk about this on stage. I don't think it'll ever make it to the stage I so I'm gonna talk about it here. I brought it up to Derek trucks and he thought it was the funniest thing he's ever heard Um, and I talked about it up to jelly and I and people reached out and they people with panic attacks Understood me people without panic attacks think I'm a lunatic. I want to talk to you about this. Let's start here As a child what was your bedtime routine like how did you go to bed? Like did your dad walk you to bed read you a book tuck you in and then go kiss you on the forehead Yeah, I mean There was variation in I feel like uh in the parent but I usually said goodnight to both parents and I feel like Because I mean obviously that ends as a pretty young child, you know like a what what age does that end I mean walk me through all this because I'll be I'll be transparent. Yeah My house was every man for himself my whole childhood No one said goodnight to anyone everyone just went through own ways and often I was left up at two in the morning watching David Letterman As at like nine years old really 100% and that's why I have panic attacks. I found that out in therapy But I won't but I'm curious about I want to talk about your actual nighttime and go from ages like As you can remember till when you started doing it on your own And then I want to talk about how you put your kids to bed and I want the listeners to think about their own Because I wonder if it's generational Okay But like You're bet like your parents had a set bedtime for you I mean yeah at a young age. I don't remember the time. I don't remember the time But I do remember getting um tucked in and you know my mom's very Catholic So there was always prayers that night. So we were all okay. She would always do prayers at night This means so much sense. Yeah, so she would pray say like these Routine nighttime prayers that were always the same prayers at night and then She would do like the sign of the cross on you To go to bed and then again the Mexican women that send their kids husbands to work. Yeah. Yeah exactly like that. Yes Hold on and she would do the child and your mom would come in Yeah, I'd be like what army? The army. Yeah, army Dios mío Dios mío. Yeah, basically Yes, you have to say this prayer then she would do a sign in La Croscina, Nola, Salah and the other guy that's just and then when I would leave for school I would get another prayer Leaving the house to go to school you hold on one second. Yeah, you're not fucking with me. No Do you know that's one of my favorite things online really when Mexican women wake up any woman that is a little Trad and wakes up early to make her husband Fucking breakfast or lunch or and the Mexican women are the best they make the best fucking lunches And they get up early. They make lunch and then they as they they do the sign of the cross on them before he walks out of the door Yeah, I fucking love that and you had that as a child yes That's why you don't have panic attacks because your mom loved you and get and said the Lord loves you the Lord's watching over you Have a great day Yes, there was a lot let's do there's so much prayer um There was there's prayer before every meal. There's prayer in the mornings. There was prayer in a car ride over 10 minutes We would pray the rosary the full rosary. Are you being serious? Yeah, so much prayer um and then So what I'm trying to like I remember that with her very well and that's I feel like that They stopped probably or she would ever stop doing that of like coming in put you to bed like that I feel like that's probably around middle school, you know, I'm trying I don't remember the exact age Um also I'm thinking I'm thinking like seventh grade I think that's yeah sixth grade seventh grade you're like I'm probably gonna jerk off you don't mind, you know That's what that's the the moment You want autonomy is when you put start playing with yourself. Yeah, exactly Puberty is like in full effect you start going like uh, why don't you not come in? Um, I'm praying by myself. 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That's code bears and partnership with draft kings the crown is yours gambling problem call 1-800 gambler 1-800 my reset Connecticut call 888 8-7-8-9-7-7-7-7 or visit ccpg.org on behalf of boot hill casino in Kansas Bettex pass through may apply in Illinois 21 and over void in Canada bet with draft king sportsbook to get bonus bets That expire in seven days or trade with draft kings predictions to get predictions dollars that expire in one year Event contract trading involves risk of loss predictions offer void in New York non-withdrawable rewards issued as $50 click to claims every seven days for 21 days terms at dkng.co/offer limited time offer nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state So that that I remember You know she would wake me up. I remember that waking me up in High school even I remember that she'd wake you up for school. Yes. I remember that because I was always trying to not wake up So she would be like come on to get up Let me I want to hear exactly how you got welcome up in the morning uh share mine Well, she would come in Also, I'm colorblind so I would always have like I'd be like can you pick something out of there for me and I would try to get five more minutes. I would, and then I would, she would pull some out using your disability. Yeah, I was using my disability to get more sleep. And then, you know, she, it was a game. She knew that I was just trying to see the colorblind. She walked in and you go, mom or Tupac, who is that? Who is that? I don't even, I can't tell. Then, um, no, it was like, it wasn't like how like, like, wake up, but it wasn't like, good morning, my angel, like, it was just like, give me an exact impression. My dad's going to love this. I think it would be like, Tommy, Tomcito, he's time to wake up for the school. Like from the time I go, uh, I'd like make a noise. And then do you want to hear how, do you want to hear how we got woken up? The three of you? My house. Yeah. My dad would stand at the top of our stairs, right? So, our, our old house, it was, you go upstairs and there was no real landing. It was just like a hallway. It one hallway went to my, I mean, it was, it, you could go to my room, my sister's room or my parents room, but it was all, there was a, like, like, uh, a ledge that, you know, you walked into my parents room. My dad would stand at his door and he'd go, it's time to get up, it's time to get up, it's time to get up in the morning, it's time to get up, it's time to get up, it's time to get up, it's time to get up in the morning. That's how I wake up every fucking morning. And were you guys like, shut the fuck up? Oh, dude, I, and then I have no idea. And then I'd go in and I'd shower in the dark side panic attacks. So I'd go in, I mean, I, I imagine if you wake up like that at fucking 10, you're like, God damn it. Yeah. And so I'd go and I'd shower in the dark, I'd know, no lights, I'd shower in the dark. Yeah. Because the lights are panic me. Yeah, I'd love sure. And then, and then, uh, and then I was very sleepy because I didn't go to bed until, I wouldn't go to bed until like three or four in the morning. How the fuck are you up till that time? Because I had panic attacks as a kid. I know everyone in my house, just my dad would go to bed at like seven o'clock because he'd go out my dad ran marathons. So he'd come home from work at like five thirty at six o'clock. He go for a 10 mile run. He'd come home at seven o'clock. He'd run 10 miles in an hour. I'm sure my dad ran fast. He'd come home. He'd eat a chicken breast and broccoli or tuna in a in a fucking inside of it. No, he'd eat tuna in a in a tomato. And then he'd go to bed. He'd go right to bed. He'd go, I'm going to bed and he'd just go to bed. And my sister said to me yesterday, because I talked to my sister, she goes, if you wanted to go to bed, you had to go to bed with dad. Like if you wanted to go to bed. And if you were and then my mom would do whatever my mom did, she'd often just just start watching TV on the couch and then fall asleep on the couch. And then you were just nine years old sitting in a house, just going like, I guess I'll watch TV. And then I'd watch Letterman and neither like your mother wouldn't be like, sweetie, it's time to go to bed. You have school in the morning. No, I why? That's right. Yeah, that's crazy, right? It's a fucking insane. Can I tell you what's even wilder? Yeah. Is they tried to do get Leanne to do that? They were like, what the fuck are you putting them to bed to get for at 730? What are you guys? Mormons? They're like, get, let them stay up with us. We're going to go out to dinner. We're not going to get a dinner reservation until eight o'clock. We're going to go out to dinner at eight. Let them go to bed at 10 o'clock tonight. And Leanne was very strict with bed times. Leanne put and that's why our girls are normal human beings is because they went to bed at 730 every night. We walked them in. We read a book to them. I kissed them both on the forehead four times. And we put them to bed. And then if they got up, Leanne will walk them back in the room and put them to bed at 730 like fucking clockwork. Now, how do your five nannies put your kids to bed? No, I put them to bed at the same time too, but it's 830. But it's later now because they're a little bit older, but it was earlier. But it's pretty much like you have the routine of like the main thing is with those little dudes is you've got to get them in there, right? So you first are like, come on, we got to get like in peace. They have an evening shower. So they shower. They get in the PJs. They have a little time to like play, mess around. And then it's like, all right, go brush your teeth. Never. Never. I never. I to this day. Yeah. I've never brushed my teeth at night. Unless I'm if I'm getting a pussy, I will. But what? I've never. I brush my teeth. If I do one time and it's like usually like in the morning, are you and you're okay? Well, well, well. Have you told a dentist this? You're like, I brush my teeth in the morning's only. Well, you know, I have a lot of, I have a ton of dental problems. Yeah, yeah. It's all from trauma. It's all from getting them out of the basement. Post dinner. You don't want a post dinner cleansing. I floss. I floss probably 15 times a day. Okay. So flossing is the important one for real. So like that's what the dentist say is like, I'd much rather you floss than brush. I floss. I've never heard a dentist go just pick one. But yeah, a lot of dentists say if you're going to do one, just do flossing. If you're going to do one, a lot of dentists, a lot. They're okay. Almost every dentist has had rather you floss them. As a matter of fact, don't brush. Wait, why? But why not brush, though? I just I have a problem with toothpaste. Yeah, it just throws me off of it. I'd rather issue. Tactile issue. I there was a period where I was brushing with soap. Okay. And then I was brushing with hydrogen peroxide for a while. Okay. I just hate bothers me. Yeah. So the boys brush. That's by the way, shout out to nubs. Is it nubs? They were a podcast sponsor once and they had a great brand. It was these little pills that you chew on. And I could get behind that. Okay. But you still do a morning brush every now and then every now and then or then today. But I did this. I did an evening brush last night randomly. So it's a weird shit in my mouth. So I, yeah, I make my boys brush. And then we get in bed. And then they're like, can we just talk for a minute, man? So they want to hear they like stories. Yeah. So they're like, those stories. So we talk about the day or a lot of times they're like, we tell us about a time you got in trouble in school. Like sure. And then they'll want to talk, they're like, I want to hear they'll request a certain type of story. And then of course, they go like, you go, all right, now it's time for bed. And you know, there's always a battle. But then they go to bed. They go to bed. Usually it's like you try to get them asleep asleep before nine. Have they ever come into your room in the middle of the night and be like, yo, I'm freaking out. Of course. Okay. Good. Of course. So many times. Yeah. And then you fucking walk them back and then you give up and you're like, just get in there. Fucking go to sleep. Yeah. Do you ever let them sleep in your bed? Yeah. Sure. For sure. Yeah. But there's no no in our house. Well, it's probably a good thing to like, you know, know it a lot. But yeah. No, it happens. And but they're, you know, they're pretty good, man. Like they will. This is what you learn. I think about kids is they'll they'll take as much as they can get. So if you shut things down, eventually kids kind of adapt to whatever those boundaries are. But if you get I was just with them. They're great. They are great fucking kids. How old are they? Four and six? Ten and eight. Ten and eight. Wow. Yeah. That happens fast. Yeah. Yeah. I just saw them like it. Christmas. Yeah. That was 10 and that's 10 and eight. That's what 10 and eight. Well, no, at that time, well, at that time, it was just turned 10 and seven. Yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah. But now looked a lot like four and six. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. I mean, I'm so bad at details. There was a guy that I did. I did a great show. Steve Furion, Willie. What's Willie's name? I did a great show. Can you edit that out? I did a great show. Steve was just leave it in. I did a great show. Steve Furion, Willie Simon, have a great show that they do over at Friday beers. Yeah. And this guy, I think he might own Friday beers. He came up. His name is Willie too. And he had he presented his case that he was in a bad picture. And he showed the picture. And I saw the picture. And I was like, why are you look horrible in that picture? And then he put it wide. I was in the picture too. And he was like, don't you remember meeting me? I have zero recollection of meeting him. Yeah. I do. But I do remember meeting a guy with a very big mustache. And I thought that's who he was talking about, but it was not. I live in a world of birth. Yeah. That make that all adds up. Wait, was the panic attacks thing what you wanted to talk about from the show, by the way? Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. So I had so. So my girls had, it's called sleep anxiety. We talked about this. About it. We were very anxious. Like my girls had it when they were young. And they and took him to a therapist. And the therapist taught them ways to cope with sleep anxiety. Christian, who works at my office, he has sleep anxiety. I'm sure there's people listening that have sleep anxiety. And if you don't know what that is, it's when you go to bed and you can't shut your brain off. And your brain starts talking crazy to you. Now, to deal with my sleep anxiety for a very long time, I would take a beard of bed with me. And right before I went to bed, I'd murder a beer so that I had a beer inside me processing as I fell asleep. And that That was how it went to bed. Leanne brought that up in therapy the other day. She was like, when I first started dating him, he would take a beer down to bed, two beers, I'd put one on the side and then I'd murder one and then I'd have one in case I needed it to go to bed. Every night, every, every, I, I don't think I didn't bring a cocktail to bed with me up until probably, I mean, honestly, like 50 years old. - Dude, I think a lot of your anxiety and everything is rooted in this lack of any bedtime structure. I really think that has a huge effect. - That is what we're finding out right now because I slept really good. I was sober for like six months, seven months and I slept really good, really good. Every night, I'd actually brag to people how good I slept. - Yeah, I know. - And then all of a sudden, anxiety started showing up. I had, I went to bed and I woke Leanne up and I was like, I'm, and I was shaking, I was shaking and I was sweating and I was, it was like a real panic attack. Wasn't like, I feel uncomfortable. It was like physical and she's like, holy shit, what's going on? She's like, take his annex and I was like, you can't, it's bad. She brought me outside, I put a blanket around me, I walked in the front yard and she had me point out things that were real. She'd be like, what's, it's not real. Remember, it's not real, you're not dying. And I was like, I'm, I'm broken, my brain's broken. I think I'm crazy, I can't get back to reality. I'm, I'm fucking dying right now. And I couldn't tell her what it was 'cause I knew the second I told her she was gonna make fun of me. And I, in perpetuity, I knew it, not in the moment, but I knew she was gonna find it ridiculous. - What's the root of it? - The root of what gave me this anxiety attack. - Okay. - And the root was, I forgot how to y'all. - And that thought was in your head? - Paralyzing, paralyzing. Because in the moment, what were you trying to y'all or something? - Well, the day before I had hung out with this guy, who I would call my best friend, and casually he said to me, do you know how much you y'all? And I said, what? And my quote unquote best friend said, you y'all not a lot. And I went really, I never really noticed it. And that night I went to bed. The next day after I had been in Tampa with this guy. And I went to bed and I started to y'all. And I went, that's so funny. My friend said, I y'all not a lot. I didn't even notice it. And as I went to y'all, I stopped. And I went, oh, I was like, wait, why didn't I y'all? I've been y'all in all the time apparently. And then I went to y'all again and I went, oh, hi. Hi. And then I was like, what the fuck man? And then I was like, wait, it's like a sneeze that won't come. And I was like, I can't y'all. What this made you crazy. I started, I could feel it in my, in my jaw. I could feel it in the front of my head. It was like building up, a yawn was building up. And I couldn't get it out. And then I went and I, and I just casually Googled. I was like, what happens if you don't yawn? And they're like, that's not a thing. It's a reflex. You can't stop a reflex. And I was like, oh, my God. I fucked my reflexes up. So I go to the bathroom and I go, how to yawn? And it's like, open your mouth wide. Look up and say the word leather. So I'm in the bathroom and I'm like, leather, leather. And it's not happening. I'm starting yawn and I'm like, and I start losing my mind uncontrollably. I mean, you can't yawn, that I can't yawn. And I fucking start shaking uncontrollably. And I, I know that I can't say this to Leanne because she's going to be like, what the fuck are you talking about? And by the way, the whole time she's with me as I'm having a panic attack, it's three in the morning. She's yawning, non-stop. And I can't, I can't, and it's just, it's to come down. How did you resolve it? 36 hours, it was 36 hours. Of panic? Of panic. She's astute. 36 hours. Did you finally yawn or you just kind of like, we're able to relax? In couples therapy. That got you to relax. That's when I yawned. Oh, you yawn. She was telling a story in couples therapy. It just naturally came out. Yawned, I just, I just yawned. I knew that if I stopped thinking about it, I would yawn, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Did you share with her the yawn thing or did you? I tell her that night, I tell her that night we're out in the front. I'm naked and I'm a blanket and I'm shaking. And she's like, what's, what's going on? You got to tell me what's happening. And I said, I forgot how to yawn. And then she yawns. And she's like, what? And I was like, I forgot how to yawn. And then she was like, that's not a thing. And I was like, it is. I called my sister, Coddy. Thank God, Coddy has panic attacks. 'Cause Coddy grew up in my house where no one went to sleep normal. So I called Coddy, Coddy was the best. She goes, I heard you had a panic attack. What's going on? And I said, yeah, I had a panic attack. She goes, what about? And I said, I don't want to say. She goes, tell me what was it about? I go, I forgot how to yawn. And she goes, well, at least your tongue fits in your mouth. I went, what? She goes, I had to go on so loft. It shows up every now and then, like I start thinking about it. I was like five days without a sneeze. And I was tracking those. But it's crazy that like, it all really lands that in something I've stood against my entire life is structure. Oh, interesting. Yeah. The structure is actually a good thing that you fight against, but that you actually want and need. I think I've lived in chaos. I enjoy chaos, but I don't think I enjoy it. Yes, the thing is, I think you think you enjoy it. Yeah. But maybe you don't actually, I don't think I do. I don't think, I think you're forced to enjoy whatever the fuck. It's like the, like, do you ever see those porns where the guy kind of throwed fucks the lady and she's like, and you're like, and then she's like, comes away and she's like, that was great. And you're like, I don't think she liked that. And then she's like, no, that's what I do. It's my thing. I got that lady and I drew all over my jaw, and you're like, I think that's how I am with chaos. I'm getting throat fucked by chaos. And I'm just pretending. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think put my head in the toilet and then tell me to I'm a bad boy. Do you don't think you'd like that at all? No. But I could learn to like it. Yeah, yeah. That's how love shows up. You're right. People will just embrace whatever they're given and you normalize it even if it's not good for you. And you go, yeah, this is what I do is what I am. This is who I am. Yeah. And you kind of need somebody to show you a different way, a different path in this case, like structure to be like, doesn't this feel better? You're like, kind of know because it's unfamiliar, but then you realize, oh, actually, I do like this more. Yeah. And I bet that is happens with obese people is they're like, no, I like my body like this. And then someone's like, no, he's actually all you know is that body, the body positivity shit where you're like, okay, okay, yeah. I mean, yes, have your boys had an overnight yet? No. No. Well, that's fascinating. No. So has anyone ever spent the night? No. And they've never spent the night. No. We've had like laid hangouts, you know, like sleepunders. Yeah, the sleep under exactly. We've had those where like kid comes over to hang out to later night on a weekend or something or during a break. And then that kid will get picked up, you know, wait, wait, hold on. Is that normal? Because like, I don't remember. I don't know. I don't remember. I mean, they're pretty young, man. They're pretty young, you know, ten and eight, four and six, ten and eight, four and six. Yeah. Yeah. Still ten and eight and eight. Ten and eight. That's pretty young. I mean, I did, I was doing sleepovers at ten definitely, but I would call my parents in the middle of the night because you go to someone else's house and then you don't have any structure. What? Go ahead. Well, I lived. So, you know, my mom's sister and her husband, who was my dad's best friend, they lived at 1.2 houses down from us, so my literal aunt and uncle are two houses down. So when I was like, probably six or maybe seven, I was very close with their kids, they were in the same order as us. So I went to spend the night and I was like, I'm going to do a sleepover. It's a big deal, right? You're like seven. It's a really big deal. You're like, I'm going to spend the night over there, but you feel very comfortable because it's family. Like, you know, it's not just like some kids' house, it's like, I viewed them as like my second parents. Yeah. Well, late night, I panicked. I got to go home. I want to go home. There's no worse feeling than that in the world. Yeah. And I walked and they walked me two houses down back to my place and I guess I think my parents were doing it. It's black, blocked out of my memory. But I was like, they said that I was like, how come you were like wrestling mom like that? Oh, because you're not in the house. So they're going to fuck. Yeah, they're going to fuck and I was just like, why are you guys wrestling? I don't remember that part at all, but I remember being walked back to the house, I remember being walked back. And I was scared. I definitely did sleepovers before 10. Really? 100%. Because I remember calling my parents and being like three in the morning, like, yeah, you got to come get me. This is, this is wild. wild. I mean, someone else's house there's everyone. a sleep. They won't let me turn on the TV. I'm just sitting in a fucking dark room thinking about coffee cakes. They were like, sure, man, we're coming to scoop you up. And my dad would show up, ring their fucking doorbell. Holy shit. And be like, and it is underwear probably. I mean, my dad or running shorts and he'd be like, I'm here to get burnt and they'd be like, well, and I was like, already packed. I'm like, hey, sorry, Mr. Fagan, take care. Tell him his fake and I say goodbye. Patrick, tell him I, when he wakes up in the morning, tell him I'm good. I'll talk to him tomorrow. I don't like Elvis. And I just fucking bounce. Hmm. I mean, it was like, you want to talk about a walk a shame, be fucking nine years old, eight years old. And I have to do it. I mean, there was no waking up. The panic I had of waking up another parent, a parent that is not mine in their bedroom. Oh my God. The closest I've come to it is when I tried to wake you up when I couldn't find my wallet when I spent the night at your house and I couldn't wake you and push up. You guys slept like dead people. I couldn't. I was shaking you and I was going, Tom, Tom, Christina. And it was like, I was like, do they have headsets in? Like, what the fuck? I woke up Julian. I was like, yo, can you help me get the keys to your dad's car? And he's like, I know where they are. Give me a second. Wait, where was your wallet in the car? It was in your car. Oh, I was losing my mind. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, waking up adults in bed is horrific. Um, it's the worst. Dude, we mentioned earlier, I just want to say this, that Salma Hayek turned 60. What? And what a fucking gorgeous woman this is. Honestly, Salma Hayek, 60 years old. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. That middle picture. She's fucking incredible, dude. Find out the old age home she'll be going to and bathe her as an orderly. God damn it. How what a fucking great job. That would be. There's got to be a few bangers in an old age home, right? Have to be. And they apparently there's a lot of fucking an old age homes, you know? Imagine we roll in as orderlies at an old age home. We could clean up. Clean up. If that's your thing, we salute you, Miss Hayek, respectfully. Um, a fucking talent and a beautiful woman. I bet she doesn't want to hear. Yeah. Like like when people go, Hey, Bert, you're the funniest guy I've ever seen in my entire life. You're my favorite comedian. I think by far, there's no one that holds a candle to you. They say that a lot. Yeah. I'm kind of like, yeah, cool. Thanks. But when someone says, I do, I love your shoulders. I'm like, Oh, like there's certain compliments I get that I go like, that's a fucking real one. Like someone's like, dude, your hair looks fast. Oh, you're a lot taller than I thought. Whoa, you're in better shape. I, you're not as fat. Those are always my favorite. So now, let's compliment Salma Hayek on the thing that she loves the compliment. When you, she hears that compliment, everyone always says you look amazing. She hears that every fucking day. You're 100% right. You're right. I know. Yes. Guys, in the comments, compliment Salma Hayek on what she never hears. I'll start. You ready? Okay. You speak such good English. That's great. It sounds almost like you grow up here. Yes. I bet she loves hearing that. Go ahead, Tom. Your choices as an actress are inspiring. Oh, wow. Wow. Good one. Good one. I'll go again. You still have great tits. Go ahead. Your turn, Tom. I think you, yep. I mean, she still has for 60. Those are incredible. Her deckletage is fucking flawless. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Her face looks great. That's awesome. It's always looked great. Yeah. Your skin tone is immaculate. Or her teeth real. I bet they are. You have great teeth, Miss Hayek. I bet you can bite through a branch. You're a great ambassador of Mexicans. She's Mexican. She's Mexican. What do you think she was? I thought she was like Colombian. No, she's Mexican, man. No way. Salma Hayek. Yeah. She might be the hottest Mexican ever. With a, I think Lebanese descent, right? Is she like Lebanese? There are that tracks. That tracks. There's a lot of Lebanese in America. It's a lot of life. I think, right? We look that up. I think that's correct. She's got a lot of spice trade in her. Yeah. She has, yes. She was born in Quazaco. Where was she born in this make-believe town? Quazacualcos. Quazacualcos. Veracruz mexico. Wait. Quazacualcos. Okay. Practice. Qualcos. Okay. Ready. There's my impression of me bumping into Salma Hayek. Okay. You ready? Oh, hey. Wait. Are you from Quazacualcos? By the course, Mexico. I went to school there. That's good. I think that would probably. Do you think she has a sense of humor and she's finding any of this funny? Or do you think she's absolutely offended? There we go. No, I think she has a great. This is another one. There you go. You have a great sense of humor. I've seen you be very funny. God, she's so hot. But you're just fun. I thought we were supposed to. I know. I know. But it's like so overwhelming. It's so overwhelming. It's like, look at Tom Hardy. Did you listen to Cesaro's Faces new album? I've not heard the album. No. No. I'm a huge Cesaro's Faced fan. I will definitely check this out. I think it pronounced. Hardies on it, right? Tom Hardy plays Frankie Pulitzer plays. It's his name, stage name. Yeah. No. You did this last week. I'm going to have to say Tom Hardy is the real one. He's the real one. He is the man. I don't know. I don't think there's a separation of church and state, which by the way, another thing I learned in therapy, Tom, I don't like people that shape shift. That's why I don't like clowns. I don't like people that put on a different personality around different people. I like people that are fucking pretty much the same. Consistent. That is you big guy. That's why I like you. Same. Same. Yeah. And so. But so does that mean that you don't like actors that are also like musicians and that they all have? No. No. No. No. No. No. As long as you're consistent, I like you. That's why we went through that list of like Sam Elliott, those guys that hold consistency across the board. I trust them. I don't think they're fucking full of shit. When you meet an actor that is like, you're like, dude, you were great. And he's like, thank you so much. And you're like, wait, where's the man that you played in that role? And he goes, it's just a part. I don't trust that. And now it sounds like I'm homophobic. But, but, but that's what I like about Tom Hardy is he's multifaceted. But I think he's the guy. I think he's the guy across the board. You know, I think there's very little bullshit. I think he's probably tough. He's kind of badass. I think he's like, I don't think he over thinks things. I think he does things he likes. I don't like that he's sober. Hardy not just didn't just like get into jujitsu, but he's entered competitions. Like he's decided to like sign up and compete. Shout out to Jonah Hill. Also competes. Oh, Jonah Hill. He got a little flack for it. But he's like a purple belt or something. Really? Yeah, I think so. He's and he got flack for it. But he said to Jason Bateman, he would fuck Jason Bateman up now. That's a fight I would pay to watch. Smart list. Jonah Hill versus the three dudes on smart list. Yeah. You put, okay, here's the, here's the idea. You put a million dollars in a backpack on the guy from willing graces back, right? Sean Hayes. Sean Hayes. Okay. Okay. You put them in a ring. You got Jason Bateman and will aren't at. And they've got to try to protect Jonah Hill trying to get the back pack off of Sean Hayes is back. And Jonah Hill just taps mother fuckers out. Chokes them unconscious. He starts with Jason Bateman, right? Chokes Jason Bateman. That's him. He would destroy everyone with his Jiu-Jitsu. Now, he got flack from it. But I think everyone in Jiu-Jitsu is like, that's kind of typically what Jiu-Jitsu guys say. When you, when you're new at Jiu-Jitsu, when you've been doing it, like, when you're not a black belt, right? Like when you're a purple belt, he's a purple belt. He got shit. Purple belt is pretty advanced, bro. He's a white belt. He's a white belt. He's a white belt. Let's think Ila's a white belt. I love Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I love except my body is begging me to not love it. 42 isn't my wife is often like, you're not going to become like a professional fighter. You know that, right? Like you're a comedian. Like, but let me ask you something. If we got into it, I would fuck you. You'd fuck yeah. And that's the best part. My favorite thing is you were like, oh Jonah Hill, a fucking fat guy from Superman. And I'm like, I would fucking annihilate you. I'm not kidding. Every fight, if you see me, try it. Every fight ends up on the ground. I can't breathe it. Who's got it? And like, we're way bigger than me. I have like a fucking fuck around and find out. I mean, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. He would fuck me when Bateman goes, if he's like, I'll fuck you. fuck you up. He's right. He would fuck him up the kid from silver spoons. Yeah, he would fuck him up. And then he's like try me and then he said he qualified. He's like, unless you're way bigger than me. So he's letting you know that like, I can't beat everyone. Yeah. But if you're wrong, he got so much shit on the internet. Yeah, that's not crazy. But it's not crazy. If you're untrained and similar size than him, and he's been training, he definitely has a leg up on you, man. Like he knows what he's doing. When I was twenty seven, I don't know what he is. Well, find out what you know, he's, when I was twenty seven, I fought a thirteen year old. Remember this? Really? I fought a thirteen year old who was like a white belt or a brown belt. He's a belt. I don't know what he was. And he beat the fuck out of me. He beat the fuck out of me. When you're twenty seven. Yeah, it was for, it was with the graces. How do graces set it up? And I just said he was thirteen years old. His name was Jordan. He's now like a black bell. He's a badass. Yeah. He just competes in everything. He's a grown man now. And you were, you were rolling with him? I barely rolled. He beat me in like six seconds. He would tap me out in six seconds. The thing that I think is funny is I think most jujitsu people are like, this is typical of what you say. And it tracks with the progression of jujitsu as you get to a certain place where you feel like a badass to the average person. And I don't think he's wrong. I'd love to hear Joe's opinion. But I don't think he's wrong. And by the way, Jonah Hill would fuck me up. I don't know what I'm doing. And I think they should put a million dollars on Sean Hayes's back. And then we're on that and Jason Bateman have to try to protect that a million dollars. And Jason and Jonah Hill just starts tapping mother fuckers out. I think it would be so. And then give the fucking million dollars to charity. Yeah, there's a, there's a lot of, a lot of hoops to jump through for it. But I like where you're going with it. Yeah. It's like I'm ready to see it. Yeah. The thing you don't want to say is if you see me try me like that. No, you don't want to do that. You don't want to do that, Jonah. You don't want to like, there's some, but but the average, oh, he's a white, he's a white belt with black stripes. Well, I just trying to see like how long ago that is. And um, according to everything public, he's a white belt. How does the progression of belts go? I think islands are white belt too. By the way, I let's, I let fucking choke me out. And why? Really? Yeah, she was like, I was talking shit. And I was like, I will fuck you up, Ila. And she was like, she was like, buddy, if I get my arms around your neck, I will kill you. And I was like, you're not getting my arms around my neck. And she goes, oh, yeah, I will. And then she went to the bathroom and I wasn't paying attention. And this is when I was inning a lot. And I was looking for my zin can. And she came up behind me and put a little needle arm around my neck. And dude, yeah, it was real. I just went, no, I have a, I have a few years. Your son could fuck me up. Do you ever wanted to fight me? I know. I have a few years left with him. Like, I'm just so much bigger than him, but it's he'll definitely kill me in a few years. Yeah. That's a new two bears. Can we do me fighting your son? Yeah, sure. I'll fight Alice in a cage. You know, he would fucking, you know that he would go dead serious. Well, he's a, yeah, he, he, a different look comes over that kid's face. Dude, he gets in like, he would not let it go. When I, I said to him, I was, he's like, he was like, I do jujitsu. And I was like, cool. And he's like, would you want to fight me? Can I tap you out? Can I choke you? And I was like, oh, yeah, he wanted to choke you at a restaurant. Yeah, at a restaurant. He's like, can I choke you out? And I was like, no, you can't choke me out. And he was like, see if I can. Do you think I can? And I was like, no, my daughter choked me out. And he was like, your daughter is jujitsu. Let me see a picture. I was like, I'm not going to say you piece my daughter. Can I fight your daughter? And I was like, no, you're not going to fight my daughter. And then in my head, I was like, it's going to be great for two bears. That would be so good. I love verse fucking Alice. Yeah, her against a ten-year-old. Yeah, that'd be great, man. Let me, let me see, is he a white belt? Let me call island and see if she can fight him. It's the place he goes. They have a little different structure for belts than than this. Oh, they were laces. They do laces. No, no. I guess that's maybe because they're kids. I think they go from white to gray, actually. But he's been doing really, really well in that dude. He really loves it. He loves it. He loves the structure, I think. He loves the structure of class. And yeah, it's been going really well, man. He loves it. A long time ago, Joe told me I should have taken jujitsu. He goes, I think you like the confrontation. I think it's good for you. I think the discipline would be good for you. He went through and why I should do it. And I went to the class to Eddie Brabos. And Eddie Bravo had a black eye. And I was like, what happened to your eye? He was like, huh? I said, you have a black eye? And he goes, I do. And I went, you didn't know you had a black eye? He goes, I guess I must have gotten a black eye. And I went, do you get black eyes from jujitsu? And he goes, I guess, sometimes. I was like, I'm on TV. He was like, maybe this isn't for you. I was like, it's absolutely not. Did you even do the class? I walked out. You walked. I never even took my jeans off. Really? That's what it got. That's hilarious. And by the way, you think I just want to say this very clearly in defense of my man, the best comedic actor of our generation, Jonah Hill. You think Jonah Hill talked recklessly? Yeah. If I had taken one jujitsu class, yeah. I would be walking around with my shirt off at bars choking motherfuckers out. Oh, I know. You would be a pro, you'd be a real pro. I would be, I would be a problem. Well, and then you would get knocked out by somebody too. Because you'd be, you'd be inviting too much of that chaos. Somebody would come up and just punch you in the face, dude. I'd be wearing a shirt to set fuck around and find out. Uh-huh. And it would be, it would be a string tank top. I just realized one of my favorite things to do is I watch. Um, I like to watch people get tased, you know? So I watch a lot of shootings too. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Are you leading? Are you leading into the fucking where I think you're going? Yeah. So I, but I watch these all the time. Because it's, it's kind of like most of the time you watch a taze video and there's justification for it. So it's like not somebody who's getting injured or, or mess with for no reason. They're usually, you know, they're usually fucking around, non-compliant, causing a disturbance or whatever. And it's fun to watch the body lock up, seize and then just get, yeah, skid across. It's really great. It's, it really is, it really is fucking hysterical when you watch a guy go from, let me go. Yeah. It's almost like the perfect comedic transition. And it's like, you're even though you're seeing body cam footage, which again, thank God for these body cams because they're so entertaining. You're usually watching someone who everyone's like, can you get this fucking asshole out of here? Like this guy's being such a dick. And it's non-lethal. So you're not seeing somebody, sometimes you see somebody all hopped up on PCP and those things don't work or for whatever reason, like, and then there was the time square stabber, which is horrible because I didn't realize at first that she actually killed a lady and I think she stabbed somebody else. And it's just a little oompa loompa looking fat lady. And she's looks like she's got triplets, but she's just a little piggy. And she is, she's a fat pig. Yeah. She was with Jollywood caller. Yeah. I think so. And so yeah, Pamela sees narrows. I guess that's who was. It was able to fight off multiple taser deployments because the officers were unable to make solid contact with the waddling killer. They called her the waddling killer. And I didn't realize at this point, she had killed somebody. She doesn't look like your typical what you think of a killer, right? And by the way, her movements don't dictate killer. It looks like rock 'em sock 'em robot. Like, she's going like, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop. Yeah. And then they shot her. Look at her little tipped up. She goes, with her little tipped such a crazy way to get stabbed. This is not good footage. I would get the footage without the censoring. They have, they have non-sensored footage. That would, they were tasting her throughout. They were trying to taser. Yeah, you can see they have tasers out and they couldn't, they didn't do anything to her little chubby body. And so when she started to charge with the knives out, one of the officers shot her at least once, maybe twice, in the abdomen. And then she dropped the knives and fell. It looks like it says the thicker the padding in front of the muscles, padding. The more difficult it is for the taser to get to the muscles and be effective. Because it's actually making your muscles obviously like constrict. So if you're big ol' fatty, I guess it's a, it's a good thing when they're trying to tas you. But because she was unable to be tased, she's dead because they ended up shooting her. And I think, I guess she bled out, all that fat poured out of her and she died. Can we please see her stabbing momentum? Like it's such a good way to stab. It's so straight. It looks like Franklin Stone dancing. She must have been in some manic psychotic state, right? Well, can I tell you like not that I look, I'm not saying that I've always said the wrong thing. Whenever I hear the thing, I say the wrong thing. Like Ray Rice punches his wife and I go, wait, what does she say to him? Like not like she deserved it, but like what would, you know what? I say the wrong thing. But I did that with this. I was like, what happened to her? Like why didn't she? She doesn't look like she would ever get to this. Like this looks like a Why is she fat or why? - Why don't she? - No, why did she get what happened to her? - Right. - She got her into stabby stabby stabby stabby. - That's crazy. Were you scrolled down more? - So, yeah, she was deranged. Like, do we know? Okay, oh, here it's said, okay. Cisneros, who has long struggled with mental health, was holding up two knives after she had just attacked two people. The woman ignored the cops, please, to drop the knife. - Yeah. - There she is right there. - That's the way the cops said it to her, the cops said it to her in her accent. - Please, to drop the knife. - That's a fucking, oh no, here we go. - Look at her. - It looks like she's going to hold it in the wielding thing. - It looks like she's about to cast a spell. - She's got her purse on, side saddle. - Yep. She's got a knife in each hand. - But it's like, here comes the Harry Potter moment. Where she goes, the, I think you can see, you can see the little, those are the taser sights on her, like the little lasers on her. - There's a lot of them. - There's many size four feet. - I know, there you go. One, two, three. - See, they're trying to do it and it doesn't do anything. And then she's charging, charging. Yeah, and they shot her right in the gut. - I mean, I'm like, yeah. Out of all the fucking police shootings I've seen. - Yeah. - I understand they had to shoot her, it's like, they also could have just stepped away. And like, it's like, like, where was she got? Like, they could have tripped her, they could have, like, feel like they could have lassoed her. There's a lot they could do. - I feel like if somebody would have tased her in the back, I like the, you know, like the upper back. - The face. - Face would have been great. Any of those would have been great. But. - I mean, just hit her with a Billy Club. - Yeah. - Couldn't you knock her out? Like, I think, I think we should add that that Jonah Hill's smartless fight. - A club? - We could take, we take a woman like this, we get the same size, same thing. We tape knives to their hands, right? So she can't drop them. And then, and then we tie her feet together so she can't take big steps. She got to take baby steps. And she can only stab like this. And she's got to fight Jonah Hill. And Jonah Hill sees if he can defend himself. - I think he would be fine. - Do you think Jonah Hill's gonna find any of this funny? I do not think so. I mean, I don't know, like, I think he might appreciate your million dollars for charity. - All right, also tell Jonah if he wants to do it with me, put a million dollars on my back. See if he can get it off. We'll give it to my charity or his charity. - And he can do it, you just do it, and you just try to defend yourself. - And I get Ellis to coach you? - Nope, he's, he's fights for me. - Oh my God. - He, Ellis and I love fight Jonah Hill. - Oh, it's two on one? - Yeah, well, it's smart, it's the smartest fight, if we can't get what he is to do it. - This is Sean's an idea of Sean Hannity. - Sean Hannity? - What's it, the fucking smart, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - The guy from the fucking open mic movie. - Got it. Will our net? - That's it. - Yeah. All right, look, we gotta run. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. - Next week, make sure that we're gonna talk a lot about the Iran war that we just found out we're in. We're gonna talk about the new guy that's going viral, Iranian David Goggins. Have you seen him? - I have not seen him. - He's like, who's gonna feed the camel? - Okay, okay. All right, we'll see you then. ♪ Bert and Tom, Tom and Bert ♪ ♪ One goes top and swap the other, where's the shirt ♪ ♪ Tom tells stories and Bert's the machine ♪ ♪ There's not a chance in hell that they'll keep clean ♪ ♪ Here's what we call, two, there's one cave ♪ (gentle music)