Jeff Wittek Gets Mad After Matan Makes Fun Of His Eye

Hello everybody welcome back to the podcast for today's guest. We have one I do it. We'll come in Thanks for coming Otherwise known by his nickname Jeff Weedy. Yeah. Thanks for having me. It's good to see you big fan call host We have Mike. We'll come in Mike Can we put him real could we put him next to me? Yeah, he's gonna sit over there all right introduce yourself for anybody I know you and all that one. I'm Jeff. I used to do YouTube a lot and I passed a torch out in Matan I'm a big fan of his I had him on my show about a year ago. I told him I would do his show He's been calling me for about every week since then you ordered to me and you've been wasting my time to him And honestly, I appreciate his work. He does good work. He does good writing That's why you're here because I do good writing He's a very talented comic. I think he's very young and up and coming but introduce yourself not me They know who I am everybody now they come on my show and every guest tries flattering me before we start. Let's get to it How much would I have to pay you to fly around on a rope connected to the end of an excavator? I tell you what I'm gonna talk about that today. You can talk about that. We can't talk about anything related to that I don't even know what you're getting at to be honest Let's try it again Now it's the time Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness no stickiness no residue just plump Do we hydrate its skin that still feels like your skin try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York Maybe it's Mabelie Come on and wreck the whole set If you hit me if I get another accident with another one of these fucking things in my other eye It's gonna be bad. It's gonna be bad. Oh That's how it ends. That's how it ends. You know what you know what you better fucking watch it because all the dumb shit You doing your videos. It's all gonna come back and get you right now It's all you're in the in sunshine and rainbow's face. This is all this is all the honeymoon face That's what the rabbi's two years in your rabbi two years in to my show No, I'm not a rabbi, but I can see sort of what's The trajectory for you in your career. You want to keep fucking around? It's gonna end bad for you and I have karmic justice coming huh karmic justice karma. I can't tell what you're getting it I don't understand I've karma coming to me But why would you do that leave it Mike? Please leave it leave it or I'm gonna get up and smash everything please fixing the angle I'm bomb good man. Sorry about that. I apologize, but why would that that was a special gift? I was actually gonna give it to you. I appreciate it. I'll grab it. I'm gonna let you keep that Jeff Thank you, Matan It's a nice gesture. I just maybe took it the wrong way when I first had to present it to me with the most dramatic moment in my life You know, but that's what the show's all about well, thanks. Thanks for I get to be right you About things that happened to you they make you uncomfortable and I'm way smarter in a video than you so you can't even interact with me on my level about it So then you just give it to you. I'll give it to you. You got a good thing known for you. You got a good head on your shoulders, Matan. Yes, you got a good crew Does it bother you that now people treat you like a disabled person? Honestly, that'd be nice if they did people don't actually treat me and your friends do at least at least some of your buddy Differently know. Yeah, they don't just they don't give me an example. How would I be treated as a I feel like your friends probably feel bad Sometimes and drop off like some ice cream at your door something like that Now my friends all kind of just it was kind of the opposite of that really yeah, they all kind of just disappear No, I'm just kidding. I'll just you can't get into that. Yeah, you know, I don't even care to really to be honest, but um No, I'm pretty good, Matan. I'd love to play into the stick, but I'm still in great shape. I'm phenomenal Shape fitness-wise. Yeah, my brain took a hit, but for the most part I remember the important things and do you remember the incident? Yeah, somewhat not not really want to get into it. You want to get serious sure? I was I was I had a pretty serious concussion brain damage fractured skull Brain got shaken up a bit, but I still remember pretty much Everything that I need to because most fighters after they get knocked out They say they don't remember for at least 40 minutes. Yeah, I didn't get knocked out. Oh, you were still awake during the whole thing The TKO. Yeah, it was just a doctor stoppage, but who stopped it? He probably would have kept going probably My buddy Todd got out there a few of them came out and grabbed me but Matan we can't talk about this There's so many nice things that are going on in the world We can't talk about it for your hair because I know your big hair guy. You got a lot of hair. Yeah, it's a good product I don't even okay, but we can give that to somebody who will use that and respect it Maybe Mike Mike Mike. He's got good hair. Good-looking kid actually under that eye patch Following up on that last one, are you technically allowed to sit in the disabled chairs on the bus now? No, but it would be nice to have a parking spot up front. You don't get the handy cop at least Well, I don't think if you're not able to drive a car because you can't see they're not going to give you a better parking spot If I complained about something that say I were to hurt my leg or like, uh, you know a hand That's you know something that I have to drive with you know But if you can't see, they'll probably just pull the whole license from you But I don't even want to get down into talking to the DMV about that stuff, you know why? Because I like to have my license in the option to drive. I could see I could see they not can we clear that can we get that across? I can see now you can even out of the fucked up eye. Yes. Can we do like the UFC test? Can you close your eye and I'll hold up an amount of fingers? Yeah, so close the good eye Close the good one They're both the same. No, no you put that eye patch on that eye and now I'll try it Okay What is change? Same thing. I was giving you a taste of your own medicine change nothing But I didn't actually until almost ripped off my whole face. It almost did. Yeah, keyword. I got lucky I'm from almost I I am very fortunate that I'm still here and still able to see and I'm still I'm still much I'm so much better off than I should have been and um I'm grateful. Let's just I'm gonna come off like a real asshole for this. I this is your idea You wanted to come on here and and believe this able person You're just getting the worst karma you're gonna fucking walk out of here and a crow is gonna come pluck your eyeball out I would I would love this amount of still money for you I would love to see but I just say a slight injury on your eye that heals six years later So you can live to tell the story and it could come full circle. I wouldn't call it a slight injury Okay, well, what what what do you think I should do, Matan Nothing. I mean there's nothing you can do. It seems like you either lost or settled that lost you so you can't talk about Are you still suing David Dobrik? I I don't know what you're talking about. What element did you arrive at? We David can't talk about it So David Dobrik have been held criminally liable. How about we don't say that name anymore in here. Are you in love with Dobrik? Next time you say that name, I get to smack you across your face as hard as I can. What is the name of blank blanks father? I don't know Get your sign in NDA. No. What's his lawyer's name? It's public. It's on on Google if you want to look it up, but I'm not gonna talk about that here. He's dirty dominant Now fuck now fuck that guy. Well, we can talk about that. I don't I'm not I'm not gonna do it that So you're allowed to talk about that one. I yeah, I don't care. I'll talk about anything else you want to talk about that's actually what we discuss that we can talk about ask me anything you want But just not that one one subject. Yeah, the one thing we spoke about. Okay. I know why we can't talk about it It's a legal thing. Mm-hmm. Like an NDA Yes, then you got paid to sign or was it part of the Senate? No, no, there was no That's not how it works. Next question Matan. Next Should you be kicked off a plane for shitting yourself then screaming for hours? Is this a hypothetical question? Uh, no, I experience this with a bunch of people on planes all the time. So if you're the one If you're crying and shitting yourself, should you be kicked off a plane for shitting themselves and then screaming for hours? Yes, of course. Yeah, I believe so then why I mean are you not getting what I'm pointing to? stupid fucking babies What are you getting at? Yeah, the dumb ass babies that they allow on the planes that shit themselves and then scream for hours Yeah, I mean if you're gonna have kids someday you'll you'll see what it's like to be on the other side of that You know, where do you think you you think you were a grown adult that doesn't cry their whole life? Think of the shit you play on a plane. I certainly don't shit myself If I cry sure you were shitting yourself and crying as a as a baby not on an ass stupid little baby you are Don't grab that you'll mess up the angle I like that what you do there. That was good Go ahead. He's the director, though. So we got to respect them Continue what you're saying and by the way in case anybody doesn't know I'm talking to uh, I believe party Pimplet Uh, he brought he's from the same place as patty. They got the same accent. Where are you from Matan? I'm from Los Angeles. Where's this accent from? It's from LA now How do your people feel that you don't claim where you're from? Do you ever like which people have people? You know I'm talking about your people Matan. Is this a Jewish thing? You went there. I didn't say anything. You were on the other side. You implied it I'm just willing to get straight to the point and the answer to that is two is a two-parter for what I'm not Jewish anymore For two. Yeah, I mean all every time I mean anymore you converted out of Judaism I'm just wasn't Jewish and actually as you'll see on the next episode they released it after this one I was told by a very high-level rabbi that I'm not only a goi I'm the most wicked person in the world. What does goi mean? Uh non-jewel. Y'all so you're a boy. That's what he told me Matan Do you want to pull up a chair if you want to come in? You can grab one of those metal chairs Okay, you start to hear you with this thing on Matan, let's talk let's talk to me here I'm the guy that you invite on the show Why don't we talk about like when you started out your career some of the youtubers that inspired you and stuff like that You know, I'd rather do a special game show. We have a special game show. Okay, that sounds fun Okay, you'll be giving Mike Mike a haircut with just scissors and you only have one minute and four seconds Okay, I could do that you have to do the best job you can I'm gonna I'm not touching this Don't you can't put me in the thing with that. No, no It's not gonna work No, we can't bring in the pizza. No Because I can't be seen Do a defamation for shit because I've already done defamation for so long You know, I've had beef with somebody who wasn't responding to beef for so long So is he not gonna let him in? No, if he doesn't have the pizza, it should be fine. Okay, we'll bring him in without the pizza, I guess Mike, thank you. I appreciate that. That was nice to you to do that So are you are you taking my seat here By the way in case you're wondering what happened who I was trying to bring in Dolbrich's pizza the sponsor of today's episode Get the fuck out of here sponsor this shit. Yes, he's sponsored by Dolbrich He was called Maton to get 10% off of Dolbrich on the first order Yeah, cuz he didn't sign the bullshit you did he told me all about it. That's not true. We both did Yeah, well, he has a better lawyer than you and way more money, I guess What are you gonna steal him? No, but if you talk he'll sue you Maton you and your people Not me. All right. I mean in the rest of the Germans from Deutschland. Yes. Yes, I am. I've always been German What do you think if you take a det? Yeah, you have one minute hold on More time. We're kind of here. Can you want you just giving the best you can you have a minute and four seconds, okay? All right We have to do a good job. Okay. I got you. All right. Let me know when I'll start the timer That wasn't part of it. Okay timer is starting Mike you you're letting me just do whatever I want well Yeah, you're supposed to give him a good haircut. He never wronged you so don't mess him up true Mike, I saw you're out of that New York mixed parade having fun socializing talking to people up on that truck Who me or him Mike Mike? Yeah, that's good. You're getting outside getting a little sun You know, I kind of need a comb to really get this right you weren't at the parade I thought you lived in New York. I was at the parade. I saw Mike Mike there. You pay attention Yeah, you fucking head in the game. You saw a photo of him. You're wasting time. You only have 30 seconds left I'll pull that I am you have 30 seconds left. I don't even see a difference I think that's the good that's the beauty of it. You know, he looks the same just slightly cleaner slightly cleaner at all. He looks dirty now and then well, that's because he needs a shower I don't way beyond a shower is the problem with him I think you need to put him to rehab or something 10 seconds you Perfect you got it. That's it. Dr. Man you bones mashing. Are you bones mashing? There you go. That's it. Thank you Mike That was good. I'll enjoy your haircut. I mean it doesn't it doesn't even look like you cut any hair I if you were to clean all this up, I would need some sort of a clipper That's what you wanted to do, huh? Mike you're a good sport. Are you tied up that eye patch, huh? I don't want to mess with your bits here. I feel like I'm kind of This is yours. They are mine. Yeah. I wear it when people make fun of my eye I get insecure when bullies make fun of my eyes. Oh really? But I'm not a bully No, you're more like a weasel like a punk fucking little punk kid, you know Then why are you wearing the glasses? This punk ass weasel because you're making you insecure about your eye You got to me. Yeah, now. I'm insecure. I'd rather be a my sky too big fucking eyeballs. That's it must be nice, bro Good for you. Oh, I didn't even think about it that way. Mike is able to like balls his eyeballs out He's like the exact opposite of you You can do all sorts of shit with his eyes and he can see real well Yeah, I'm jealous man. I'm jealous. I'm gonna pop one of those eyes out pop it at mine I actually had a question about that. Yeah What are your thoughts on the eye for an eye concept? Do you think you should be allowed to take one of Davy's eyes? Yeah, I thought that for a while. I thought that You're not establishing any dominance. No, I'm not even trying to do. I'm just chilling, bro I'm having a good time. No, it's not it's a mental game that you're losing at no you making me feel comfortable I want to answer that question comfortably. You see that it's my resting heart rate. We should have got you like one of those chairs Oh, what was the question? Can you repeat it? Sorry? What are your thoughts on the eye for an eye concept? Yeah, I like you should be allowed to take one of Davy's eyes. Yeah, like that song 50 set and I for an eye finish it and I for an eye I never heard of it. You'd be more familiar with this than me Um, it's 50 sent. It's a song about revenge, you know, and I used to be big into that. I was like, you know what? Yeah, it should be eye for an eye. That's what I think would be fair for you to take it because it's kind of unrealistic to I thought a lot about this Yeah But I'm not a lot of talk about it, but you know what we'll try to you're not allowed to talk about your fantasy of like probably ripping his eye out This was a past fantasy that I had it had it was I wouldn't say it was a fantasy was a thought at that time in my life It was a thought and you know, I would have dreams about it. Maybe you know Just thought through it and it wasn't really a healthy place for me to be mentally Because we're living it in real life here, you know, it's not we're not in the movie and you know If I were to go pop that eye out then I'm just in jail, you know, it's not like oh, hey Your honor, but he did this to me for you know, it's not I'm saying legally should you have been allowed to take his eye? I don't make the the law But if I did at that time maybe I would have been like you let let me have this But now where I'm at in life. I'm in a much better place. I found God. I went down to Mexico. I did a psychedelic Drug retreat. So your brains all sorts of stuck all the bad memories out of my brain and only leave me with the good ones And that was really nice. I could send you down there if she gets hard for you, you know If things ever get that actually I am afraid of taking those psychedelics that turn you into one of those zombies who think they've accomplished Yeah, excellence and then you just in have peace. Yeah, yeah, I found peace again It's a last very long. Let's see where you're at in three years. You're probably a schizophrenic homeless guy Could be it could be sooner, you know, but I'll tell you what I'm not gonna be homeless. Why's that? Look at this fucking color of this suit Yeah, well, it won't last forever if you keep buying chains like that. How much will that work? What would it worry about Jesus? Well, how much well you can wear a crosschain that's not decked out with diamonds. Oh, sorry. Let me put this away for you. Sorry. I forgot that. You think I'm gonna show you that? I brought you just called yourself out. You just showed your true colors just now. It's fine. I got diamonds on it. I'll put it away for now. Yeah, I know the diamonds too Why do they call jewelry jewelry after Jews maybe true? That's good good observation. You meet there, Matan. Yeah, smart kid. You are Smart kid. How's the show going? Do you actually have sponsors now? I'm curious. We do What's that dumb fat guy is candy brand called? Who? What's his face? Uh the guy with the restaurant Jonah. Yeah. Are you Armenian? No, he's like you could be related to him too I think you're just saying that because I have a sort of an accent. You're like a young warrior. You're like a young Sasha Baron. Come on, we die yourself I just sort of thought of it right now. So yeah, I guess I guess so Why did you do the things that you didn't have sort of girl yet? No Do you are you wait until marriage for this? Yeah. Yeah That's cool. What type of girls are you into? Have you thought about women yet? I have preferably white Have you ever even experimented with maybe some idea of the different ethnicity or just you want to keep it pure Keep it behind. Yeah. Now would you have to marry a Jewish woman or can they convert? I don't think they're allowed to marry a guy Oh, okay. I see where you're going with this. Yeah. All right. Well I'll be there at your wedding, Matan and I'll wear a Yamaha to it That's fine, right? What's not like like if I if you invite a non Jewish person to your wedding? They'll cook you alive For real? If I marry a Jewish girl, do I have to convert? Um from my knowledge is a guy just guessing Uh, yeah, I guess technically you would, but they're not really about converting. They don't encourage it So you'd be in for a rough one. Okay. Well, that's good to know All right, they'll just really uh, you're not really in for that rough of a one you just have to give like a temple with uh A money hungry rabbi like 80 grand sounds. It's gonna go down over here. I don't trust my guy I mean, I know Mike Mike's a good solid guy at yours, but I just there's way classes for a reason, you know Why he wants to attack my guy? No, your guys and instigate in my guy Well, he's not doing anything. He's just standing there You probably crazy British guy. It's not even on you don't even get a shot of that behind That'd be nice This is actually giving me more anxiety than this right now. Yeah. Yeah. Are you from England or you're from one of the neighboring ones Like he's from Liverpool. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah, I should have I should have guessed that when you know from Liverpool Uh, I don't know. Nobody really a band any band just name a band from potty Pimblett. No, man Just name a band the most famous band ever is the Beatles from Liverpool or from Liverpool smart kid bro you fucking got a good brain in there I know it I know it underneath all that hair hey guys start with an eruption have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by rumble wallet how much control do you really have over your money right now with rumble wallet you can buy bitcoin whole dollar back table coins and even own digital gold back by real gold all in one place one of the great things about rumble wallet is how simple the setup is it connects you with moon pay and then you can use your credit card your debit card or your bank account and be up and running in just a couple minutes you can also use rumble wallet to tip some of your favorite creators crypto started off as a niche but now it's going mainstream with faster payments more control and fewer middlemen take control of your money now and get started with rumble wallet today scan the QR code click the link in the description or go to wallet dot rumble dot com slash maton and get started with rumble wallet today and you can have it up and running in just a couple minutes that's wallet dot rumble dot com slash maton this is a paid advertisement from rumble think you're a rumble for sponsoring today's episode why do gay people wear funny hats what do you mean by that always have those funny hats on they have a hat with a feather on it a cowboy hat a woman's hat I think they're just they're they're they're they know how to have a good time you know they don't get you serious a good time call a good time yeah we're in a funny hat I'm not talking about everything else they've taken but you know not wrong we're in a funny hat throwing on a green tracksuit you know or an eye patch you know getting into character roleplay and that's kind of gay you put on that eye patch to make me feel comfortable this is gay you may you put on a costume here as a grown adult man you had your male friends that are the same ages you all were costumes we all coincidentally injured our eyes look at my like I appreciate that thank you guys for doing that it's really nice thank you guys how much longer before you fully become a cyclops you never know I didn't know I was gonna get into any types of eye situations ever in life so it's a good question I could happen when I leave here I can get struck by a fucking plane you know I could get a crow could come fly now to look at specific example is that because you're from New York that's just like the first tragedy that comes to mind it's the most yeah yeah it's it's probably the biggest tragedy I've ever experienced and how old are you when that happened I was a young kid I was probably what year were you born 1989 why don't you write a book about how you met God during a near death experience after the accident to make millions of dollars that's a good idea but you're welcome I'd rather write about other stuff in my life that I feel like would make a better show than more of like they're coming into doing all the bad shit and like it all playing out rather than just the end of it and the aftermath you know nobody wants to watch like a gangster drug deal in movie where the guy gets arrested and he's on a jail you want to watch the come up the coming of age the money making I think you're completely misunderstanding my concept you want me just write a book about how many people have an interesting come-up story so many but not so many people have almost met God or could say they met God whatever I'm having meet God tonight oh my boy would you right now you meet God that guy is looking to hurt somebody and I'm not even saying but not even because you told him to play that character no I could just tell me that that's morning I know that's why I'm saying just you know but it's cool so just listen I can't I can't show you God I can't bring you and be like y'all God talked to him he needs help this kids all fucked up he doesn't know what religion he is he doesn't know anything about which one I'm not life he doesn't even know if he's attracted to women or men yet no I know I know I know I'm like women obviously what do you like in women what's your type I just we just discussed the white and stuff just white you don't like maybe like a girl that's into fitness or reading or writing or but this is personality based and I prefer their robotic you want like a AI girlfriend no that seems a little bit strange we knew by robotic like they stay at home like I don't have to hear them talk about like the concepts they believe they're understanding from reading a bunch of books as if they're going to explain something to me that I couldn't have gone a lot earlier and a lot quicker from a much smarter man yeah like oh treat us like we want to be treated like men like that stuff right I mean the fact that there's still women talking about how they want to be treated like men way after all the laws have been passed just show off fucking annoying they are doesn't it yeah yeah yeah I know you mean that's yeah that's that's what I'm saying we should start like a movement you know gender war yeah yeah yeah gender or yeah you start it and then we'll win that's for sure yeah we will yeah I mean what are the odds on that just there's probably higher odds right now that the spurs will beat the nicks and the women will beat the men and that that's been over with for a couple of weeks yeah next one it next one at Mike Mike you're at that parade that was sick huh legendary we witnessed history my man you were there I was out there yeah I thought you were in LA no I was I called me to do the show I told you I was in New York no that was before that week I you literally called me you're like yo can you do the show I was like yeah I'm down and then you're like okay can you come tonight I was like I'm in New York I thought you knew that oh yeah yeah that's true sorry I had an accident with it's okay I've in there really I feel you I get it I can relate I've in there I was a vegetable for years oh you don't feel bad don't make that shitty fucking at some point I got to like get like a feels bad on my end that I can do you have any empathy have you ever felt bad in your life like have you ever seen like a somebody struggling and been like damn that's that what you mean by struggling like say I walk past the guy the other day I was out of the run and my run started to get this it was a little hot I was a little tired didn't really sleep that good than I before so the run was getting a little hard for me and then I saw a guy he had a fake leg on it was an amputee and he's sitting down and I had to stop to walk and when I saw him I was like I'm so lucky to have my fucking legs you know what I'm looking at me what what would you have done I would have put a string in one of his ears pulled it out the other ear and then rattled them yeah that would have been to see that's the difference between how I am now at the stage of my life I used to be like you just a little fucking like a little instigator a little troublemaker just a little troll you know about my concept was who you're inspired by like people the youtubers when you're growing up Steve Jobs team cook team instead ramen no seriously like who did you like youtubers or or comedians actors I wasn't much of an entertainment guy to be honest with you there was this one vlogger I liked a lot but that kind of that's all right I don't even I don't know many vloggers so you don't even have to bring up the name do you know is there anybody in the world who knows more vloggers than you you're like the guy who associates with all of the evil of a big attraction dude everybody wanted to vlog me when I was in my hey day when I was out there running around you know see and shit now you see and see how I see black I wake up and I just see blackness and I open my eyes and just more black we can just talk about your eye the whole time okay perfect okay let's talk about all the successful businesses I've started over the past couple of years so is that successful you wouldn't have to give me a fucking junk as box to promote that's a really good product it was sold out for months people are fighting over people died over that product what even is it outside waiting in line yeah it's a it's a it's a pomade it's a hair by a pomade it's a store for a product price and it'll be shit it'll give you cancer will give you scalp that's what everybody says well do it and find out after you have cancer and then come to me and I'll probably have the cancer I'm dead I won't really care which Paul made I used bro you will trust me when you are on the fucking pomade just be trying to avoid a picture like me rattling my brain without your cancerous scalp on like packs of cigarettes what they do this will be what your head looks like if you smoke cigarettes like a baby that's gonna be your face on old-spice product or a fucking pizza box that actually I swear would be awesome if I die like that I would love to be in my state on an old-spice I'll do it I'll make a product filled with toxic chemicals because those ingredients are hard to get their sourced all around the world no they're natural ingredients so they're so hard to show that all the guys in your healthy pomade source they're shit you buy at CVS that fucking crap that you put in your hair look I mean you're not a hair guy so nobody's really in a come to your show for hair so it was more of a gesture just for me to give you the product to help you outside what a great gesture but you know I'm gonna give him this product he doesn't need look he says Jeff you need it you need to help with your hair Paul made so much more yeah you could be doing a lot with this show Matan some more a little set design maybe having a producer check in the cameras behind their maybe a little audio mics microphone's a boom no we just need to go like this true it's doing good you get tons of views I've come happy to see it I love to see all your new episodes just watch the last one you know Jeff Epstein on some guest list you guys got over here it's good if there was a chicken and he was both immortal and invincible but no stronger or smarter than a regular chicken what would life be like for him after a million years would he just continue to eat seeds without care or would he eventually make a realization that turns him abnormally in the mind where's that scissors stab me my other eye why just do it stab me so good I read out with one eye yeah yeah stab me even if you guys both of them I would be better reading in my ears and yeah probably the chicken would have laid tons of eggs and the chicken would become god and it'd be the ruler of our universe. - Well, how did you come to that conclusion from that question? - I didn't really answer. I didn't really pay attention to it to be honest. - I'm gonna ask it again. - No, next one please. - I will move on. - Do you have a list of questions you had everybody with? - If there was a chicken, and he was both immortal and invincible, but no stronger or smarter than a regular chicken, why would life be like for him after a million years? Would he just continue to eat seeds without care or would he eventually make a realization that turns him abnormal in the mind? - I think he would evolve and he would have a realization what's going on. - Yes, well, we said he's no smarter than an average chicken. - I think he would evolve. - He would get like a high level of consciousness. - Yeah, you know, we started as lizards. We were underwater. - Yeah, but that's like providing like a bunch of different generations of people. - Well, it's really any amount of time he could list for-- - He's the same chicken. - Yeah, we started-- - When you say we started out as fucking worms and lizards. - Are you not understanding or are you an idiot? - Listen to me. - You never were. - You're not. - Your ancestors passed billions of years were worms. - This is the same truth. - You're people's religion onto me, okay? 'Cause I have my own set of beliefs, all right? - You believe what, that you are a worm? - Evolution. - That's your own set of beliefs that you are a worm. - I don't believe in any of that stuff. - Mom Donnie, fixin' the potholes, New York City. - You're a grifter. - I don't even know what that means. - You don't know, exactly. Just proved it. - I guess so, well, what are you then, Maton? 'Cause I inspired all your shit, dog. - Me? - Yeah, you know it. Yeah, he mics, I hear him fuckin' giggling over here 'cause he knows it. - He's playing with your mic. - Yeah, he does not have a fun time. - It's all good, bro. Just fuckin' give a little-- - You don't wanna talk about the chicken anymore. You seem kind of bored by that. - We could talk about the chicken, it's your show? - Okay, you don't get it. That chicken is not evolving in terms of like, "Oh, he would go from a chicken to a human." It's the same chicken, I'm not talking about his children. - Do you believe in God? - Yes. - Okay, well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I didn't think you were gonna go that way with it. - And now you're just stuck. - Next question. - It could be anything, it's what you fuckin' believe, you know. - What the hell does that even mean? - You could believe whatever you want. - Code Matan, M-A-T-A-N, a Dobriks at the front counter. - Nice catch. - You hit your phone, you dumb fuck. - That's all right. - Destroy your own phone, and you need to destroy it. - I didn't even knock my table over. - It's okay, I'll get it if I want to. - Yeah, I know, but you wanted to look cool, and now you just look like a dumbass. If I want to get that table over, I'll get that table over. - It's pretty easy, look. - Now how are we gonna do the show? We gotta finish up, we gotta finish up here. - You doing a rush? - Come on. I'm worried about what's gonna go on here. Thank you, Mike. - He's not getting his phone, he's checking the angles. (banging) - He got me on my knee a little. - Oh, I hit you? - Yeah. - I was just trying to flinch you. - That's all right. - And it didn't really work. - Why did you do the things that you did? And what point is enough wealth and power for somebody to stop? - I was just having a good time, I was just going with the flow. Thought it was really good. - That's an excuse for a (bleep) - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you ever make those allegations, ever. - I didn't make the accusation. - Nobody's ever made that accusation to me. - I can get one too. - No, I don't have a box. - No, I mean, will, 'cause all you need to do is make those allegations nowadays, and it's enough to do damage. So I'll give you $100. - I'm actually really worried about that, please. - I mean, yeah, either way you treat people with maton, you know, karma's gonna come back and get you bad, my boy. - That's not fair, karma. Somebody falsely accuses me of (bleep) even falsely accuses a lot of people of a lot of things. So, what did I falsely accuse you of? - You just accused me of that? - No, I didn't. - You were doing it and you're a schtick. You know, you're making it like a little bad. - I was making it unclear. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You did a good job of it, but, you know. - Can't really sue them either. - I would never do that. - So I'm saying, I can't really sue them if they falsely accused me. What am I gonna do? Then they're gonna have to do that whole thing what's it called, where they look through all your messages and stuff. - They would, yeah, they'd be able to, and then they're gonna find out who I really do. - Do the research. - The real ones, the real victims. - I really pray, 'cause I now I'm associated with you on camera, I really pray that you're not this way outside of here, Maton, but I feel like you come from a good family. - She excuses everything I did and continue to do. - That's not true. - Me and Jeff are threatening you guys. Watch out, at your schools will come in, pretending to be kids. - What's the fuck out? - Did you finish school? - No. - Technically, I still need an education. - You don't need it, you're smart enough. And you got this now, you got a good career. People would kill for this, what you got going for you. - Yeah. - People would kill their friends out. - Yeah, we had the same idea. - Yeah, yeah. - You don't feel bad at all, seeing people come on your show and then have to deal with all the consequences of your actions after? - Such as what? - Who has ever been affected from the last show? - Like you have three Epstein on last week. - Besides that dumb fuck David Lucas. - Oh, that was good. I actually like that, what you did to him. - Outside of him. Nobody really has serious consequences. - No, he did it. - I'd say that was more of his. - You held your own there and you were young at that time, so you were like fucking 16, sort of get smoked by a 16 year old that's embarrassing as a comedian. That's bad. - Yeah. - Fuck yeah. - David Lucas. - Yeah, I stand with him. - Jeff is gonna do to you what he did to them. - I didn't do anything to anybody. - Do you ever use your leverage as a cripple to take advantage of people? - In what way, please tell me how I would-- - Guys, guys, my eye all the time. My friend almost killed me. I need to go and cut the line. I need the pizza. (laughing) - You said I could smack your face. It's hard as I can if I say that again. - Yes, that's what we just agreed on. It's on camera, roll it back. I just, we just discussed that. - Well, you're in an advantage right now because you have like 60% of your vision and I'm really just at 50. - Chill out, relax. Calm down, calm down. - I could have got your eyes. - You said it only needed one. - Yeah, I usually do that to people. That's my move. - Take it serious, take it serious, take it serious. 'Cause we came all the way out here to do this. It's a big interview for me. I flew out here to do this. - Yeah. - You can't really do any more interviews. - Why? - Why wouldn't I be able to do an interview? - I just, everybody already did it with you. - Okay, so you don't come back on for a rerun, a repeat, check in a year later. - It's clearly not. If you had to fly out for this one. - Matan, you might be the first guest to ever set the happy to have you on my show. We had a good episode. - Yeah. - You remember that mic? - We bonded. - Why don't you get a ship in a bird so you can fully become a pirate? - More questions not about the eye. - Would you let a mentally unstable PTSD streak in veteran living your house? - Did I do that? - Would you? - That sounds complicated. I feel like I would have to because they fought for a freedom, you know? Or they just (beep) a bunch of Arabs. - Good point, I'm gonna stay out of that one. I'm just gonna say, yeah, I would. - Listen, you just told me, I don't wanna talk about the eye, I don't wanna talk about my best friend, David Dobrik, who I'm secretly friends with behind camera. It's all a big start. - Don't make shit up and put things out there in your vague way of saying things and make it seem like there's something going on behind the scenes that you know about. - There's something going on. - You don't know anything. - You guys play tennis, I caught you at the park playing tennis. - I don't play fucking tennis. - We got two more minutes. Give 'em a good five more minutes. We'll set the timer five minutes. - Set the timer five minutes. - You don't like my questions? - Well, the pirate room is pretty good. That's pretty funny. It's okay, he's (laughs) - He forgot to insert like a social button. - No, he's, he's, they're good, they're good. - Well, I only have like one more because then I have to film with long neck. - Oh yeah, are you actually? - Yeah, we have long neck coming on in about like four minutes. - Did you split up my episode with long neck? - No, he gets his own one. We've been waiting for, for years. - Are you happy with how this is going so far? - Yes, how about you? - I'm pretty happy with it. I think it's, you know, it's a little unorthodox style of an interview, but it's fun. Having a good time. - Do you also buy the children's ticket at the train to steal seven dollars? - These are shit questions. - That's a good one. - Trains are three dollars. - I'm in like New York when you take it off. - Three dollars, you know that. - No, no, not that train. I mean like the one you take from the New York airport. - Well, like a train and like London or something? - No, the one in New Jersey, when you arrive in New York and then you have to get to the city, the train costs 17 dollars. - No, it doesn't. - Okay, yeah, yeah, it costs 11. Sorry, I got that thing. It costs 11, but the children's one costs three dollars. - Okay. - So by doing that, you steal seven, 'cause it's actually 380. - No. I would pay the I would pay the regular fine. I said three I dropped out of school to do you drop that a school to do YouTube so whatever the kids got a fucking calculator in his pocket He'll figure it out. It's 380. It's 11 minus $7.20. I'm not disabled. I don't park in handicapped spots Oh, yeah, you could just get that to get on this was kind of a useless ask question. Yeah, I don't I don't I don't do any of that stuff I didn't even really think about that I could but even knowing my situation No, I don't think that's right to take the parking spots away from actual disabled people. No, I don't think it's right I would like to and I'm not even disabled at all. Well, that's cuz you're a bad person. You have a bad black heart inside that But but but doesn't really does it really matter? I was not gonna Jewish in there inside. I wouldn't catch it. I just looked up your Wikipedia What I don't even have a Wikipedia you do you do not to my knowledge, but maybe that's probably a good thing that I got one It's pretty dope. Yeah, you're the real deal now. Congrats my boy But no, I'm not Jewish the Wikipedia is lying. Anybody can edit those things. I know I did it. I put it on there. You put Jewish. Yeah, I'm gonna edit it and put German All right, okay, well, that's you. 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