JEFF GARLIN Talks Curb Your Enthusiasm, Epstein, Photography

Wait, how'd you guys meet? Larry David and I are gentle love making seminar. Really? Really? He was teaching? We were the TTAs. Did you ever get ten-year in f*cking University? You're really funny. Yeah, funny guy. Because I don't think people are funny. You're f*cking piece of f*cking ass. I'm a hot human being. And you're a f*ck. Where are you going with that? Nothing, I don't know. I was just going with it. I didn't like that direction. [music] Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland show. Oh, hi, I'm Adam Friedland. My guest is. Oh, hey, babe. Sorry. My guest this week is legendary comedian and actor Jeff Garland, who's new photo-boot. Buh! My guest this week is legendary comedian and actor Jeff Garland, who's new photo book releases later this year. If you're a fan of Jeff's acting and stand-up comedy, you're going to love his photos. Now, this one is one of the rare interviews where we actually break a pretty major story during our conversation. I don't want to spoil it quite yet. But, uh, hell. Can I make you some assurance? No, that's fine. Don't worry. Welcome home. How's your day? Welcome home. How's your day? I know, that was your surprise. I'll just come out and say it. Apparently, and I can't believe I'm really saying this curb your enthusiasm is entirely improvised and it's shot without a script. So, how in the hell do you make that stuff up? How in the hell do they make that stuff up? Fascinating. Please enjoy my conversation. Jeff Garland. Okay. Sorry. I'm at home today. I have COVID. So, Blizzard. We had a Blizzard in New York. Our next guest is a legendary American comedian. His new book, Best Seen in the House. It's a book of photography and essays comes out in September. Everyone, please give it up for Jeff Garland. Woohoo! Woohoo! [applause] Nothing like a delightful smattering. Smattering of applause. And there's 600 people here. That's what they don't know what they're doing. We got the fattest tours from Times Square. [laughter] We went to the M&M store and, yeah, we put a sign of this as the M&M store on the door. Look how confused they are. I was in New York a number of years ago. This is when I wasn't living here because I lived here a long time ago and then I live here now with LA. But, we're visiting and we're not yokels in Times Square. I think we're going to a show and I went into that M&M store and the sugar free chocolates and stuff. And I go, "Oh, this is great." And of course, the second we sat down for the show, I'm Baron Von Dyeria. Really? Oh, it goes that fast. You crapped your pants? What do you see? No, I did not crap my pants. So you're at LA. I went on stage and crapped in the middle of the stage. Oh, you're performing? That's how you see Broadway. You crapped your pants all the stage? No. I went to the bathroom with the fuck. But, wait, you're in the middle of a scene? I'm not performing them watching, I'm fine. Although we did that, Richard Lewis had diarrhea in the scene and was so funny. Really? Yeah, he's on stage where he hear the grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr He fought through it? It's not like a month or two ago, but it's still hard to not imagine that Susie wants to cut your dick off, I just left her and I'm sitting down here. She's one of my best friends. It's so three-dimensional. If I say Michael and Perioli, I'm like Christopher. I actually appreciate that. If I'm feeling remotely iconic, I appreciate that because I'm a big not believing the hype. People would come up to me and say, "I'm a legend," and I did not know how to react to that because that's the last thing I am in my mind. Now I've just said, "Thank you." I learned that. A very famous comedian, I once told him how much I loved him and what a great effect he had on me. He looked at me and said, "Why?" Who was it? I'm not going to tell you. Just say. I still love him. No, here's the thing where I said. A lot of people might love him. It was Jerry Lewis. It was Jerry Lewis. I actually have spent time with Jerry Lewis and had fun. Oh, really? Wasn't it a dickhead? No. Perioli is the biggest dickhead in the world. No, you know what it is? I don't know what his mental illness could have been. Yeah. But he is a complicated guy. Yeah, I know. Jerry Chase is similar that way. I wouldn't say they're evil or horrible people. They just relate to the world and they, you know, Jerry Lewis. You name any Taylor Swift, okay? Jerry Lewis. Martin and Lewis. There's a great picture of Martin and Lewis. In Times Square, and they're outside of a window looking down. And there are people everywhere, like New Year's Eve, everywhere. They were that popular. To say they were huge is very much appropriate. The French love Jerry Lewis. They do. What is that? Well, here's the thing about Jerry Lewis. Also, the French are the least funny people on earth. So it's like it's not even that good of a compliment. Yeah, there's not a lot of great French comedies. There have been some while Jacques Tati. It wasn't, but it's not L-O-L, bro. It's not Borat. Jerry trying to bring over that French guy to America to break, to, to have a crossover. It's the L, God, God to L-Maland or something. Oh, he did. He's like an Academy Award. Oh, no. He was the biggest comic in France. And everyone said, "What the fuck is this French guy talking about?" No, he actually is a very funny man. And we had a falling, we never had an original thing. I wrote Glass, asked myself, Colin Quinn, and somebody else, to. Who's the other person? I don't remember. But to listen to his set, that they gave us a copy of his set. Because they were talking about him learning the thing, you know, learning English, trying to do it for both. And, you know, I gave my thoughts. And I was not mean. I just gave, and the one constructive thought that, I'll explain a second, was that he did two Starbucks jokes, like in there. And my reply was, "Do you really care about Starbucks? Is that an area that needs to be examined?" And that's what I said. So the next time I see him, which was at the Comedy Cellar, and I was looking forward to meeting him. Not thinking that I said anything wrong, because I said all this stuff. You know, Colin did two. And I walk off stage and I go, "Hey, how you doing?" He goes, "You think you know everything." Shut up, you fragile. Well, no, but the point is, he would hold on. Sometimes, people in their lives are not remotely enlightened. And so, he was at that point where he was fragile, and he might still be that way. However, a few years later, at the Comedy Store, we totally made amends and hit it off, and we're good. He should have apologized to you. I don't look. Because if it were for us, he'd be speaking German. That's for sure. I don't know. Sorry, guys. That was so awesome. Do you have any idea how funny that is? If it were for us, dude, they'd be speaking, fuck, yeah, in Vichy forever. We're going to cut that anyway. Guys, can we talk about when we met each other? Please do. It was the most insane night of my life, and I've never talked about it. Okay. And I'm afraid even to talk about it now. Why? I made you have the charity benefit thing, the Richard kind. For the honorary Richard kind, what was it for? I don't know what it was for. No, it was for, like, the creative coalition. Yeah, it sounds like. They go to Washington for what I'm about to say. Yeah. No, Chris, you can say what you want, because I'm not a fan. So. I'm not part of the creative. I walk on to each other and we're like, do you know what the fuck this is? And both of us were like, where the fuck are we right now? I was told an hour prior to going. I was invited to co-host a charity event with Richard Kind. I was like, that sounds nice. By the way, that was the thing that fucked up the whole night, the term co-host. Because everyone went up to do it, either a set or talk about Richard. They labeled as a co-host. Jeff Ross was the host. He was the roast master general. Exactly. So I was told 45 minutes before that it was a roast hosted by the roast master general himself. Jeffrey Ross, who's one of the people I respect most in life. And I was like, I don't know. So I farted out a roast set. I was like, are you going to do roast? Did you know this was a roast? You're like, no. It wasn't a roast. It was a roast. No, wasn't. You left early because you're celebrity. People are like, yeah. I was one of the people. the first three or four people came up and it wasn't the road. So I went up after you and I was like, "Guys, I don't know, I wrote some nasty joke. I didn't know this was going to be a rose to Jeff Raul." And they were like, "Say the joke," like one of the old people, "Say the joke." And so I was like, like a lot of people, you know, Richard Kahn changed his name when he got to Hollywood. Like, John Stewart used to be named John Lieberwoods, and Richard Kahn used to be named. And I was like, "Is all men the rapist?" And it got to pop. And I was like, "Wow." By the way, I was there for that. That was it. I was not bad. It was all walking out and there. No, no, not bad. Awesome. Yeah, yeah. Now I got a big pop from these-- No, that was legitimately crazy funny. From the protocols of the elders of Zion. They loved it. And then I was like, "Don't worry, it's a family name. It was changed from rapowitz at Ellis Island and his grandfather. And his grandfather, Mosher Rapist, who's the founder of the Creative Artists Agency. And there have been rapist throughout the industry ever since. And when I said rapists throughout the industry, debt, debt, bond. I was like, "What's going on with this crowd?" So I get through whatever the crap that I forwarded out. And then the last joke, I was like, "Oh, you know, I'm like, this is safe. This is like--." And I'm like, "The last joke is like, oh, I guess it's a roast. I should go around the day, it's a crap all over you guys." And I was like, "Jeff Garland's here. I mean, this is behind your back, I apologize." But he's here giving up for him. And I was like, "Hey, you fat fuck, you know, Suzy, whatever." And then Jeff Ross is here. And I'm like, "We all know what you did." And I don't know why I didn't have anything. And then I was like, "And Jeff Epstein's here. Where the hell have you been, right?" And it dies. It goes silent. It told me that on the phone. The air leaves the room. And I was like, "What?" And I thought it was safe. I thought it was like it's in the news. And then I was like, "Do you guys know him?" And Richard gets on the mic. He's like, "Adam, I think it's because he's dead." And I was like, "I didn't mean to." Well, by the way, Richard can't hold on. Fuck him for that. What I mean by that is to say that sincerely, that's what makes the joke even funnier. Obviously, it makes it funnier. Yeah, I'm sorry that you had to deal with that. No, it's not sorry. It was the most insane moment of my life. And then I'm like, I'm sorry. I just tell Richard, I said, "Go fuck with this." Guys, he's body's barely cold. I didn't mean to offend and speak ill of noted pedophilic sex trafficking. Did he say it like this? He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. And I was like, "I loved him, but I never took a photo with him and I never got in a plane." I once was on a. Here, go on. But you just left the time. My friend, Ari, who's talking to all these old people at the table, having a great schmoozy, having a great night. This guy next to him was like, "Looks like this." He turns up and he's like, "I knew Jeffrey Epstein." And I was like, "Oh, my God, they all did." They all knew Jeffrey Epstein. I didn't know there was a real guy. And I yearned him on my island, all that shit. He's a real guy. But I just thought of the thing for Richard. What? Richard's going about to. He's dead. My memory. I knew Jeffrey Epstein. I would never take a picture. I once took a train with him. That was pretty good. Yeah. It was pretty good. Is this actually a positive look leaning back like this? Yeah, I think so. Well, in my living room, I have a lot of Eames furniture. Yeah. It's a relax show. There's a great scene. Maybe in the nutty professor, he goes to the dean, and the dean's chair. You can't help but slide. And he's trying to stay in the chair while he talks to the dean. Perfection. In the Jerry Lewis one. Yeah, Jerry Lewis one. By the way, in terms of the Eddie Murphy one, in my opinion, as a comedian, that is the greatest acting performance I've ever seen. Oh, the club? How we always forget. That's why the Academy Awards are bullshit. They never respect comedy. Only one is one ever in any haul. Throw that all aside. This guy. Yeah. What he didn't. You can't name an actor. Who could pull that off? You can't. You were with him a Daddy Daker? Yeah, we're going to Daddy Daker. Tell us about Eddie. I mean, like. I'll tell you something. First off, very generous. Good guy, great guy. We came up with the same comedians, like older comedians. So Eddie and I would dedicate takes to these comedians that no one would know except us. Shaky green. No, the Shaky's known, but no one would know him. Yeah. No, here's the thing about Eddie, this was this is the thing that knocked me off my feet. I gave you the background though. When something happens on a set, like if you knock something over. It'd be funny. And let's say I'm just a dramatic actor and something gets knocked over. You'll have a quip. You'll have a quip. It's just. You're the comedy guy. You will have a quip. So I'm on this set and I think I'm quip. Do not get me wrong. And so something would happen. I think of what I'm going to. This is microseconds. Think of what I'm going to say. Go to say it. There wasn't one time that he didn't say his first and there wasn't one time that what he said wasn't a million times funnier than what I was going to say. So you're just looking like, "Okay, you're Babe Ruth and I'm on the All Star team." So it was remarkable to see his mind work that fast. Yeah, he's a good guy. Yeah, I loved working with him and then also he's just. He literally is a comedic genius for what he does. I don't throw that around, you know. Why is he around as much? I mean he was the biggest star in the world probably in the 1980s, right? Like. No, not the world because black leads and films didn't really score that well in internationally, but certainly in the United States. Oh, they didn't like it when it was black, I was. Well, no, I know how to say "day" as like all of them, but it didn't score like it did in America. So you're saying America is the least racist country in the world? No, I'm saying there's a lot of Portuguese visiting here currently. So yeah, but he was the most famous person in the United States, I would say. He had a number one hit record party all the time. Yeah, party all the time and also his albums of a standup, you know, sold the time and specials. He was the first guy to perform in like the equivalent of Madison Square Garden, you know, he was the first one because prior to that, I remember seeing George Carlin, 3,000 people, Rodney Dangerfield, 3,000 people. All the comics, even Richard Pryor wanted his great first album. Well, first he had older party albums. I'm doing this, but they're amazing too. But he performed it at the Long Beach Arena, it holds like 2,400. So even Eddie took that turn out, now guys like Kevin Hart are selling Arena, no stadiums. Shane is doing the Eagles stadium. Right, but that's where what you'll call it, perform too. Who, the Eagles? No, Kevin Hart is from Philadelphia. Oh yeah, so yeah. No, I'm saying so that's where it is now, you know. Would you go to Philadelphia, like if they said you sold out stadiums. Give me a scenario, like play it out, I want to hear it back. I mean, like if they say, listen, you sold out Lincoln Financial Field, you're going to make $5 million from the show, but you have to go to like that disgusting gross month, with those months in Philadelphia, you know, would you do it? Is it worth it, you think? What the fuck are you talking about, with those awful, there's just some human just, you're not getting to the point of who you're talking about, is it what? A subhuman person, a gross disgusting woman. Oh, why are you trying to do that? Disgusting sandwich. Yeah, we have a racist sandwich, we have the work sandwich. Yeah, every place you go, there's a disgusting sandwich. And fill it up. No, on the road, like Caleb and I were talking about it. Every city you go to, it's like, what should we eat here and the Uber driver tells you a disgusting sandwich, like in Pittsburgh, they're like, we have our own disgusting sandwich. You didn't use those words. Well, they don't say disgusting, but it sounds revolt, it's like a, you didn't try it? It's throw up, it's baby diaper, you didn't try the sandwich. Yeah, of course, I tried it, yeah, on the t-shirt. And by the way, I know you liked it, yeah, because no one says that about sandwich. So you're, you're thinking Rochester is good, the garbage plate, I mean, at least you're honest about that. It's macaroni salad, it's like a chopped cheese filling, macaroni salad, what else? It could be either two cheeseburgers or two hot dogs, red hot dogs. Can I ask a question? People watch this? Yeah, right. This is insane. Why? Uh, Charlie, uh, that tuna salad was it, uh, chicken in the sea, uh, what was it, was it, uh, you know, and then when I had that orange juice, was it from a concentrate or did you shake the garlic? I don't want to do this. Oh, it's one of those juice stamps. I don't remember. I sound like Larry doing that. Okay, Jeff. I didn't want to do this, but um, I don't care what you asked me or talk about it. Listen, we booked you before, obviously, the horrific leaks of the Jeffrey Epstein emails came out. And so I had, I, it's my journalistic duty to, uh, I'm not a journalist, but you know, I had to search your name and, um, I just want you to account for what we found. Please do. I think what we could do is I'm going to read the Jeffrey Epstein emails. And you could read your own emails and then it's, uh, I'm shocked. It was shocking. What I thought you wanted to do some sort of play acting. Instead of play acting. No, this is from the real pet. This is redacted. It's what you, you're, you're, oh, this is awesome. Who did this? Did you do this? No, this is the redacted. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. and then you could read your own emails. - Yeah. - It's weird when you guys heard his voice, were you surprised? - Who? - His voice is like, hey, name me. His voice is like-- - You brought Jeffrey up to me. - Yeah, he's like-- - What if I told you? - I truly-- - I wait the name with the gorilla. - I truly-- - He looks like kind of macho. - With all the names this last time and this, that, and finding out this guy's a scumbag, I don't give a shit. So I'm not even fine. Hey, I subscribed New York Times, Wall Street Journal, all these things, on my phone. Read 'em once a week tops. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think it's interesting where to happen and where at dinner. You might bring it up and I go, whoa, and then, when you bring it up, then I do my due diligence to read about it, but in general, I go through my days trying to rise above the noise. - Well, that makes sense because of your long time correspondence and best-- - All right, let's do it. - Okay, so this is from Jeffrey Epstein to Jeff Garland. - It's me, Jeff. - No, no, I'm reading the Jeffrey Epstein parts. - Oh, here, yeah. - Jeff, it's me, Jeff, LOL. Still can't get over how funny it is that we have the same name. Was watching an episode of Curve the Other Day felt inspired? Comedy has this ability, even for a short while, to make the world forget about their problems. I was wondering if you have any recommendations on introductory improv courses. Seems fun. Second city, comedy sports. I've heard good things. I don't feel comfortable being associated with the UCB theater after reading about their history of sexual abuse. Six stuff. The cover up, too, heartbreaking. I'm leading towards comedy sports because it has the funniest name. Best, Jeffrey Epstein. Okay, now your response. - Okay, hey, Jeff, Jeff here, haha, brother. The name thing gets me every time. - Yeah, that's funny. - It's the gift that keeps on giving. Glad you asked about improv. I think this is a great idea, but I want you to listen to me very carefully. Improvisational comedy is an all-in thing. This isn't some hobby you can half-ass. You're going to work your ass off at night after night. You have to be pushed to your limit. And at the end of the day, it's all worth it. The rush is irreplaceable. Better than drugs or sex. I know a lot of people have lost their minds chasing the dragon. You are embarking on a journey that will fundamentally change you as your day. - You're an email, but let's keep going. - Because truly, Jeff, nothing comes close. You're one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life throughout the funniest. And I know any Murphy for when I was a daddy day kid. Love Jeff. Yes, I've never said this to you before, but I consider you to be my absolute best friend in the world. I like to assure you that any secret you share, go to the gray. - Okay, then this is the monster Jeffrey Epstein's response. Hey, Jeff, it's me, Muhammad, just kidding. It's Jeffrey Epstein. What I wouldn't give to see your face reading that. Ha-ha, no, of course my name is still Jeff. First off, thanks for the sage advice. I swear to you, Jeff, I will take improvisational comedy very seriously. Anywho, Stephen Hawking seems to have taken a shine to your daughter, Sammy. He asked me to reach out and negotiate a price. (laughing) - A couple questions. - This is really funny. - A couple of questions. What's her take on this Palestine nonsense? What's it like when you have sex with her? And is there any world where Susie isn't gonna be a total bitch about this? Then here's your response to the noted monster and pervert, sex trafficker. - Oh dear God, this is wrong. Brother, you fucking got my ass. I literally went into a cold sweat, thinking some Muslim named Muhammad, somehow got my email. I don't know how to say this, but bro, I think you misunderstand. That's not actually my daughter, LOL. That's a child actor's they got to play my daughter. I'm what's called an actor. We pretend to be other people. Susie is in my wife. She's a Jewish woman for dead people. I can put you in touch with her parents. Her dad is a class act and her mother is out of the bitch. (laughing) - I don't know why I was laughing. This is disgusting stuff. So the monster responds, just putting it out there. If you wanted to change your name to Muhammad, I'd do it too. Reacting, that blows my fucking mind, dude. Did you invent acting or is there other ones? It would be pretty awkward if we did that, LOL. Muhammad actually happens to be the name of the first Muslim guy. Bro, you need to get out more. This is crazy. Everyone on the show is an actor, your numbs go. Wait 'til the guys find out about this one. Choms, he's gonna piss his pants. - Okay, so then the, so then the, - By the way, sing names like that. - Animal, it's awesome. - It's awesome, see the Hawking's the best one. So then the monster responds, LOL, bro. Let's convince Dersher that we change our names to Muhammad. So anyway, so you need to tell me that Kobe Bryant from The Lakers is an actor also. What about President George W. Bush? What the hell is he even going on? What about Ashley Kutcher? Am I being pumped? Your response? - All jokes aside, I wasn't too hot on my name for the longest time. I often think about changing it. That wasn't 'til I met you. I love being Jeff with you. Oh, brother, I'll try and ask you your questions one by one. Kobe, Bush, not actors. Kutcher is an actor, but not on the show punk. - Okay. - Jeff, I have to say something because I love you. Hearing that you don't know what actors choose our worries. I see that you're a man with deep dedication to his passions. I see that you're worth the man's holiday. Jeffery, Edward Epstein, you're a man on the island. But you're also on an island. There's a whole world outside of that beautiful paradise you've built for yourself on the little safe chains. I don't want you to look back in your life with regrets. Wishing you got out of your comfort zone a little more. I don't want life to pass you by. And then that's what I think, that the improv classes will be for you a great help. - Yeah. - I love you, please never. - All right, so this is shocking revelation. What were you thinking? - Did you write this? - No, these are from the Department of Justice, Pam Bondi. - Whatever these are, this is perfect. This is sublime. - You want to keep it? - Yeah. - I mean, it's all over the internet anyway, but you can have it. - No, I love to keep it. This is so good. - You're gonna have both copies. - No, I'm not going to redo a reading. - Well, you want for later, for later. Sorry, okay. Adam here, I'd just like to thank our members for supporting us here on YouTube. You guys make the show possible, you keep the lights on, we couldn't do it without you. Members get access as always to all of our episodes early. And if you join at the second or third tiers, you get your name in the credits of this fine program. If you'd like to join the Freedland Family Foundation, you could do so by clicking the join button at the top of your page here on YouTube, or by clicking the link in the description. You'd also support us on Patreon if you'd prefer the link for that is also in the description. Thanks a lot again. Thanks. I'm going on the road folks, Helium Comedy Club Portland, Oregon March 27th to the 29th, Side Splitters Tampa, April 17th to the 18th, San Francisco, California, Cobb's Comedy Club May 29th to the 30th. And of course, I'll be at the Netflix, is a joke festival at the Regent Theater in Los Angeles, California on May 9th. There's a link in the description for tickets, and we'll be adding more shows for cities later this year. So say tuned, Adam Freedland dot show, and rest in peace to the one and only Robert DeVal. This was the copy from last week, but we're gonna leave that in it in anyway. And Jesse Jackson, rest in peace, and everyone, anyone else who died, I think. You know that midday slump when your focus just dips, this is my little fix for that. It's super refreshing, you just pop it in, crack the capsule and boom, instant flavor hit. That's kinda like my secret weapon for saying sharp when I'm working or filming. And you can even get it delivered on a subscription basis, so you never run out. But yeah, this one's been in my routine lately. Lucy.co knows what's up. 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Our teacher was tenured. Really? Yeah. Is that Mary K. La Turna? No. We met here in New York City. We were both doing stand-up comedy. Is it in the 80s? Yeah. 80s. We were acquaintances. And one of my favorite things is when he would come in to do a set at catchurizing star. And one of two things would happen. One would be he's going to do the funniest material that's going to kill you. He'll kill you. No, that's not it. Because comedians were left. We all went in the room. But the more likely one was this. He'd start, he'd look in the crown, go, "Eh, not tonight and walk off the stage." Yeah, I heard he used to just bail on sets. bail on sets. I saw him do it. And it was awesome. Oh, what do you look at your watch for? Fuck this. And he would be gone. I swear. This is 100% true. Yeah. Yeah. Because he had a contempt for the audience. Yes. And then years later, I was performing in Chicago. And he was coming through town to go to see Kamiski Park before it was torn down. Really a nice conversation then. This is all we knew of each other. And then in LA, we talked a couple times. You ran into each other. But I never got to audition for Seinfeld, which when I told him that he was pissed off, but I find that hilarious. I mean, everyone was on the show. Yes. It's kind of offensive. I knew everyone in comedy was almost every guest actor who was remotely comedic I did know. Anyhow, so years later, we were at lunch. And he was asking me about the comedy scene. And he said, "HBO really wants me to do something." And I said, "Well, I've got the perfect idea for you." And I had been on the road with John Stuart and Dennis Leary helping to develop their specials, their HBO specials. And it was really fun. And developing all that. And I said to him, "Oh, you know, you could do a special about you making a special." And at the end, you don't even have to do a special. And that's the whole special. And he went and talked to his wife, "We're going to do it." And I was thinking of only directing it. I didn't even think about being in it. I wanted to direct it. And we had lunch the next day. I was excited to talk about it. I wanted to play my manager. It was as simple as that. And then he said to me, "No directing. You'll be an executive producer. It's better. Trust me." And I didn't know this at the time. And it is a much higher stature. So that's how it started. And that was my relationship leading to that. Oh, I left out one part, which is an interesting part, I think. So, Leary was writing a cast Iraq, the company that produced Seinfeld. I was writing with a guy named Alan's White Bell, the sweet of all their three offices in the suite. His White Bell, he co-graded It's Gary Shanley's show. And he also wrote for Gilder Ratner and SNL, All Her Bits, Rosanna and Rosanna Dana. He wrote All Her Bits. So he's very funny, very accomplished, very kind man. So, and Billy Crystal was in the other office. So that's it. So, I would go, I would go into, he was very nice to me. He would go into, I'd walk into Leary's office. And I don't know if it was here I who did it first. Start to sing the "Cod Fish Bowl" by Shirley Temple. And we realized that both our kids, same age, were both watching the best of Shirley Temple. It was a very popular thing. And I knew all the songs and so on. So, we'd sing Shirley Temple songs. That got us closer. It really didn't. We'd laugh. And Leary came into Alan, my offices, his Alan's office, where I was at. He said, "Hey, we're going to lunch and Alan couldn't go. And I went." And then the conversation I told you about happened in a cuckaroo across the street from Nate Nelson Beverly Hills. And by the way, when you tell your idea to a comedic genius, oh fuck yeah. So, I am surprised because we were doing what we thought was funny. But, Leary, I mean, I looked upon all the episodes, not a clunker in the bunch. Every one of them, you know, it was shocking to me. But we didn't think we were going to be a hit. And also, the other side of the coin is, and I'm not going to name a comic to mess with him, but I could have told it to another comedian. If I had told that to somebody else, we wouldn't be here talking about my great idea. Oh, no. No, it's not. It was the perfect. Well, that's how things happen sometimes, you know, the lightning hits a tree, you know, or whatever it is. The basic premise of a guy who has ostensibly a billion dollars, yet the entire world, when they look at him, just sees him as bald and annoying. The money has done nothing to earn. No one, it's a show that's another guy's life. He's based on a core of reality. Well, yeah, I know. He's like the co-creator of Seinfeld, but to everyone, he's an ugly Jewish bald guy. He's not the guy on the show that he's on. Right, exactly. So, right now, in real life, it's an incredible premise for, like, a comedy. Leary is truly iconic. Yeah. Truly iconic. But if you get to the core of where he was at then, which is actually now, but he lived in the palisades, which is near the beach. Well, it burnt down. What the fuck am I talking about? Do you know that the customer, the DP and the editor all lost their homes? It's terrible. From curb your enthusiasm and those three people, this key, yeah, key departments. But, oh, sorry. No, but he would lay. We would talk about this. He never had to use air conditioning as houses because the breeze would come in from the ocean. You see the ocean. And he would lay on a hammock in his backyard. And he would tell me what he would think about and that all he did was ruminate. He was filled with anxiety. So he's got all this money, beautiful house there. And he would lay in there and be the guy that you see on curb your enthusiasm. So that's based at the core. A real thing. So much of the two of you guys as a comedy duo is just at restaurants, right? The two of you, like, we've had it. We've been in a share of restaurants. You just, like, just kind of like him presenting you with a sociopathic idea. And you be like, Larry, that's a great idea, right? Yeah, that happens a lot. Is the dynamic of your friendship? Like, it feels real to me. Is that the dynamic of a. Yeah, he's one of my closest friends. Yeah. I feel being with Larry, like I would being with my kids. It's just normal. You know, it's not like I'm sitting with Larry David, which many people would feel that way. So when I'm with him, we talk about everything. I make him laugh hard, which thrills me to no end. Like, that is like. It feels amazing, I'm sure. Oh, it's like you. I have his number. Like Zach Alphonakis, for me, just has my number. He can make me laugh. The wind changes. The front of his guy. Yeah. And so I do that for Larry. And it just kind of. And he'll laugh hard to my nonsense and non-secquarters, all of it. But, man, oh man, I got some serious shit going down. He's going to be one of the people I call to tell me. And he picks up. Does he pick up? He does like this. Like he's Shelley Berman in a sketch. Hello. Hello, Jeff. He'll pick up, if you call. What are you talking about? Caleb. Is it okay if I. Yeah. What is this? Caleb, this is Caleb. He works on the show. I think he's blocking my camera. It's fine. You're going to feel bad about saying that in a minute. There's. Larry Davis is like the biggest hero in life. Yeah. And. Oh, but that's not cancerous. No, no. That's a side bar. You're a beautiful hair on the side. If you were Larry David, you could grow that hair. If you're a curly hair, then Larry David, look. So what's sad right now? Let's just say we don't have much time. Okay. And. But he's. He's healthy. Oh, it's his. No, no. You don't know that. Can we call him? Can we. Can Caleb just say hello real quick? No. I mean. Let's say to make a wish foundation. Get the fuck out of here. Who is. How you interrupting me with this fake cancer story? Because he's broad. I didn't say cancer. But I was thinking when you took up your head. Hold on. I was thinking when you took up your hat that episode, where the head shaving, you have to be kidding. - You're gonna feel so bad. - What would he die of cancer tomorrow? - I have dear, dear friends. I don't know if I believe a move state just to like give me this, that they've never seen the show. And I love it, that corrects. By the way, all great if you haven't, I don't care. - Anti-semit might probably. - But the point though is that I go to him for all of it. He's like a big brother to me, to be honest with you. We're very close friends, but he, I look up to him. As a person, as a friend. - Sounds like your family. - And I also. - 'Cause you won't even help Caleb out with his cancer. It could save it. - Are you gonna stay on that? - I'm sorry, dude. I just thought it was a good trick and it didn't work at all. 'Cause he saw on your side of the side of the, the side of your bolt, right? You could have shaved the bolt. - You just say, "My bad." That's awesome. I don't understand that. My mistake is much better. - My bad? - Yeah, that sounds like it was invented at a place for mentally challenged people. Like, like they play basketball and one of the kids would go, "My bad." And then one of the people who worked there said, "Oh, I like that." And spread it from there. But it started with a mentally challenged person. - It does sound like-- - My mistake is really not saving you much time. I mean, costing you any time. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, my bad. - My bad, that stupid shit. - Tell me about like how the show, like the set was run and how it's structured. - It was different for me than everybody else. So I'll give you my observation of what's going on and what I was doing. - Yeah. - So I get there, let's say seven of them one, and we're gonna start shooting at eight, okay? And you know, I go through makeup, put on usually a suit. And then I mosey my way to craft service and see all the people, all the departments say hello to everybody. And then you get on set where, let's say it's in my house, my character's house. Lights are all set up like this and everything's ready to go and you see the DP talking with the director, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we don't rehearse. We move so the camera can know kind of where we're going. We do not rehearse. Actors will come on and they'll start doing the scene. We go, no, no, no, no, no. We will do it when we do it. We're not going to do this. - Is he one of the reactions to be authentic maybe? - Always, yes. And we also don't want people trying to be funny or have written things and prepared. We just want it fresh. And if that does happen, it's gone by the second take. - Does someone pitch lines though? Is like Larry pitching lines? - Well, no, there's like three. Well, there's Carol Lee for amongst some other people. There's some excellent writers. And they do come up with great ideas. It's not joke driven the show. So it's not like lines this that. But for me in that situation, here's how far I go. I will literally Jeff Schaefer, the executive director will come over and say, what are we doing? I have no idea when I arrive to set what I'm going to be shooting. - That's so fun. - And he tells me, you know, he points it out and I go, great. And then we start the scene, we do that. Now after every take, I don't, I use it being this all the time. The executive producers are Jeff Schaefer myself and Larry. If it's a scene I'm in, we go have a creative discussion about what's working, what can be done, like this, don't like this. If I'm not in the scene, I stay at video, I used to go, we have that meeting or be, you know, I don't do that anymore. Now if I see something, I go to Larry and Jeff, like I'm the monitor, if it's a scene I'm not in. But that's how it works. We just redo it until we have what we have. - What's your favorite thing you've ever just, just off the top of the dome, just? - The one I remember just improvising was Larry talking about washing dishes and hot water that he had special hands. And I started screaming at him, that he didn't have special hands. That argument is brilliant because you're Larry David and you happen to like wearing women's panties. That is in the outline. So I'm just, that's Larry David's, you know, me doing it. So much fun. And I try and do something different every take. Unless Jeff Schaefer says to me, we don't have this, we do this. Larry's even said to me there was one scene, he and I are running on an airplane. And I chose to, I mean, it was a clear choice I made that I'm sitting like this in my seat next to Larry and he says, what are you doing? I go home, we're gonna take off. He goes, you got a book, you got a minute, no. He just asked me different things. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what are you doing? Just sit here. He said to me, don't do that again, don't. Did a bunch of other stuff. What I did was in the episode. Is Larry in the edit? - He's Larry in the edit. Larry launches the thing. - Every single take, every single take, which like if I direct a movie or something, I'm editing while I'm on set. And I know if I got it, and I don't need to see 400 different things. The only thing that surprises you in editing is when you steal a shot. Like if someone's reaction, they're wearing the same clothes, but from another scene, but you use it in the scene. You know, I mean, that they're not in, it's beautiful. That's the time you use it editing. But so Bruce Springsteen, who by the way, was everything I dreamt he would be. Everything, I was very nervous to meet him. What a guy, fantastic. And we had a great time that day. So we're shooting a scene, Suzy standing in the kitchen, Bruce and I are sitting across from each other at my table in my house. Larry's at the head and standing behind Larry's Bruce's assistant, who in this scene we come to find out, used to be a woman. And he says that Larry dated him when he was a woman. And of course, the horror on Larry's face is just, that's one of my favorite looks that he's ever given on the show. He's given great ones. And the guy goes, and the guy gives a piece of information where Larry used to love fucking on the floor. That was his thing. So we film it a couple of times. And then I lean over to Bruce. And I go, because I had it like this, and recreating. I said, take a beat, and then say, Larry, I never thought of you as a floor fucker. Away to the end, because Jeff Schaeffer is so great. He doesn't yell cut right away. He lets it live for a second to see if someone, you know, so Bruce says that line, cut the place explodes. Floor fucker, the ceiling went up and down. For him to say, I never thought of you as a floor fucker. Floor fucker. What am I supposed to do with that moment? I came up with it. I thought of it. So I didn't do that. You're going to think this bastard Springsteen-- So six months later, whatever one it was premiering, eight months later, when Larry and Susie, I'll just point out those two, did interviews. They said Bruce came up with it. And I called them both after they were-- I'd be insane. No, but no, I was fine. But after it, I called both of them. And they were very apologetic. Why didn't you tell us? I'm like, why am I going to tell you? That's just so stupid. So now, in my book that you're going to mention, I've mentioned it there. I'm going to mention it everywhere. So now I'm going to do my own-- Because that line, that is my tied for my two lines that I fed somebody there are the best lines. What was the other one? The other one was JB, myself, and Larry, at a table. And JB is talking all about the big Johnson community, who's-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] The thing, and I whispered to JB, next take, I'm going to tell Larry to ask you, who is in charge of the big Johnson meeting. And then the answer that I told him to say was horsecock Williams. And he told everybody who I have. And again, what am I supposed to do? That was mine, you know? So-- I would just whisper loudly. I would just say to people here, no, I don't want to let-- The thing about it all, Larry. Sorry, he's saying that Bruce Springsteen came up with that on TV with he was fun with you, for sure. But by the way, he's Bruce Springsteen. He gets enough credit for his songs. I know what I'm saying. That's what he's doing on the comedy. He was great, by the way. That's annoying. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so you miss making the show? Because-- Parably. Because when you say, you describe it, like, just saying there's a loose concept, they're like, the red light will go on. We'll fucking do it, you know? We will just fucking do it. Because the outlier friends having fun, right? Well, yes, but the outline is so good and so specific that if I'm just true to the outline, certainly I'll go off because I've gone somewhere and we've used that sometimes. But it's all there. So if you're present in the scene, and you know you're part in the scene, there are a lot of scenes with me in it where a bunch of people are talking, and I'm not saying a word. Because it's almost feels like you're competing to get the thing out. And I'm just sitting there going. The best thing for my character to do is just not say shit. But seeing Jeff's just sitting there not saying shit is like, that's what-- That's a good choice. People know it's a right choice. It's a right choice. It is the right choice. You're like, oh, I see myself out of this one, yeah. But the point is Larry David said to me one day we were shooting season three, probably. He goes, you're never going to have this much fun and a set ever again in your life. You're not being able to show this funny. And I said that is 100% correct. Do you conceive of it as being the greatest sitcom of all time? But a lot of people say that. No. But top 10, easy. Yeah, I mean, honey owners, Mary Tyler Moore, Full House, Full house The fact that you give a great fake reaction to that to my fake naming it. I mean all in the family all in the family all all in the family Keeping up appearances. What was that the British? I see a lot of British shows might one of my favorite with high isn't No, it's about this this woman. It's like a whatever me my family used to watch on PBS on the weekends By the way, that's how I discovered Monty Python watch all the English shows and years later easily in my top my personal top five is toast of London If someone's seeing Jeff Greene you walk around the world people like if I see Sarah Jessica program seeing Carrie Bradshaw You know you play such a like a iconic something that's so cool. You make it is I am I you think I go But when that happens or people come up to me anyone who comes up to me Like a show. Yeah, cuz they I had a guy a Swedish guy like six five wearing a sweater I don't know how where he came from where he's you know, he talked about how much you love the show All the stuff and I took a picture with him happily. I gave him a pack of baseball cards I'm up to do that. I carry packs sometimes you're a funny. Well, I might be too, but you're really funny Yeah, because I don't think people are funny. You're a fucking piece of ass. That's what you are I'm a hot piece of ass and you're a fun. Where are you going with nothing? I don't know. I was just going with it I don't like that direction. Why will you it's stupid just like I just stupid it would be stupid if we if we had sex No, no, you would use the word we it would be you having sex and having forced me into it. It's we having sex just like Richard Kinds original name. That's what you'd be solving the rapist Wait, so you I want to talk to you about a stand up like I'll talk about Santa for hours Okay, so like so I'm doing this for 43 years So you're like watch on late night television. You're like that's my guy. This is the thing you know from the time I was a little kid I tried to make my parents laugh. I was always the funniest kid in school I would sneak up late to watch Johnny Carson to see the comedians if I knew a comedian was on I love comedy My first album was a cheach and chong album Big Bam Boo. I remember, you know, I didn't know it was rolling paper type thing Yeah, or the cover, but I love comedy my whole life. So you tell me Rodney Dangerfield George Carlin Bill Cosby my favorite That's what broke my heart about it is like you're an iconic You're so good. He was you really was but it's you know what? I did one night at the comedy store. I went up and I gave away all my Bill Cosby albums after all that shit Yeah, people took them and they're a monster rapists probably took them, right? Milasters just molesters molesters. Oh the big difference. They should be so yeah the point is you say high school Yeah, man in high school. I would watch Everything all of it. I remember singing Eddie for the first time show times the show times the big laugh off This would have been nineteen eighty or so. He's probably eighteen. There's only you very young When I started I see Martin and Andy Kaufman love Andy Kaufman. Oh my god You know what I said I Those guys are just like yeah, I had lunch once with Milton Burl Apparently like to his meat. No, yeah, that's it. That's what I hear too. I know every I don't know that about Richard Coy. Richard Coy. I was at the Friars Club and I had lunch with him I've had lunch with said Caesar. I got to work with an amazing or a Shelley Berman I work with people that I In my mind when I'm doing a scene with them. I'm going. Oh my god. Yeah, this is amazing Yeah, it's incredible. It takes me out of the scene kind of, but I love comedians. I love comedy. I Dispise bad. You started TV. Yeah, my god. The fact I worked with Catherine O'Hara Now I work with her on curb supposedly had sex with her and we recorded those sounds. It was real sex No, no, we recorded those sounds in a laundry in a laundry room But it was so embarrassing here. I am with truly a hero of mine and then we're making sex sounds And she's saying fuck me fat boy and all that. I thought of her as my mom because of the home alone Yeah, a movie I've never seen really. Yes, just surprise. I auditioned for it for the Daniel Stern part Really and I knew I didn't try because I'm going to be honest. I read that script that I went this sucks Yeah, and I'm not going to try the amount of violence 100% true the amount of violence enacted by a child on an adult men in that It's a bath. It's actually it's a her it's crazy. Well, it's an absurd. Oh John John But there is a bit of absurdism in all his movies people falling a certain way and you know, it's there But so it's kind of can be cartoonish the violence in that It inspired me to point to be talking about. I don't know. I'm having a great time. What? Your point. No, your point was about your point was about Catch it making text okay get her here and then having a scene with the dinner table We're making sexual faces at one another. I mean to me What the fuck man? Yeah, and I'm devastated that we lost her. She's always been great to me Yeah, even before we work together and she is a fucking hero and it kills me. It's genius genius. Genius. No Yeah, I know Madeline Conn. Yeah, can't you tell us a little bit about Bob Einstein and Richard sure? I mean those are I mean Bob I said his way one of from what I can't ask me about stand-up comedy. That's what it was well We're going in a million directions. We'll get there if we do Let's do Bob. I just said first Bob. I said was one of my closest friends Bob would after we're done filming a scene You'd be driving home the phone would ring and it'd be Bob look wasn't that great That was so great Wasn't it so much fun and there's this not this is like that's it He would call Susie and do the same thing and also He knew so many great jokes. They just tell you it was episode where he tells Jerry What we filmed was maybe twice as long super Dave man Yeah, I was super dick. Marty is also just the funniest character because like Larry just like literally just has no respect for this human being What so I know it's he's despised? He always comes up with ideas. It was a joy to be around him He and his wife were very close with my wife and I my ex wife and I That so again kid you lose I in my photography book, which we'll get to you go through it I think half the people that I took pictures of are dead. Don't take a picture of me. Oh, you did no No, no, not that no one no one young is dead. It's like people who died of old age. Yeah, what have you and so Bob He was great and he also went at He told me this one story about Red Fox He was producing because Bob in the day was a producer of variety shows dick and dick all these variety shows And he was the executive producer of the red Fox show. They're about to shoot nobody can find red okay, and and Bob goes to go. Oh, I'll go to his dressing room and he goes to his dressing Red are you in there? What? He opens the door and he's sitting in the makeup chair leaning back and the makeup lady is sitting on his face and Red Fox says and this is true because Bob told me this is the best. This is the punch red Fox says to Bob We got to do the show and Red's response was can't a man relax Is that not so he had a million stories like that? So he would tell those stories and also, you know, he was out of the show He had he had a pneumonia and he was Getting better and then he said I'll be back in about two weeks and two weeks. He was dead from cancer They found it was and so that really ripped us all apart and and it lunched sometimes we would walk away like Overwhelmed and we all knew why whoever one of us walked away if it had a profound effect on their show and Vince Vaughn coming on as as funk houses Cousin or whatever it was was fantastic. Yeah, totally different than Bob. Obviously, but Vince was a joy to work with and then as far as Richard's concerned. That's also one of my closest friends Richard I'm sorry. I used to tour with Richard. Yeah, we go on the road together. We'd be on the road and when I'd be on stage He'd stay in the car Because he was afraid he'd put something in his head off what I would say Robin Williams had the same thing where it would just fly in there and then like come out a year later, you know And any more water. Can I have to have a normal water? I want to pick this shit up anymore. I'll pour it for you All right, he's gonna pour it for me. It'll be fine. So Richard. Obviously one of my comedy heroes Did things like he was to me. He was kind of like sure there was Lenny Bruce He was a great influence on Richard and Richard Pryor, Richard Lewis influence. But he might have been the first alternative comedian. He lay on his notes on a piano and go into things and grab his hair. He was unlike anyone else and I was on him and to be on the road with him and be close with him. His best acting on the show was the last year. It was sad seeing him. He really couldn't move around. He was in bad health. A lot of scenes he did sitting down, actually most of them, but he did great work his last time. It's kind of beautiful that he like, it meant something to his body. And we didn't have to deal with him dying because we were done. It's unlike Bob who we had a lot going on that season story wise and our friend wise. Ironically also everyone in Marty's family dies on that show, like his father, the mother, the three with the mother, he's stealing the flowers from the roadside memorial. Yes. That's a great one. Ironically, Marty also did that. I have so many more stories I could tell, but Richard, not only did he have a profound effect on me 17 years ago, he took me to an AA meeting. And the reason he took me was because I had trouble with food. And I thought that was going to be the answer. There were gigantic rock stars and I were the only comedians, there were some famous actors, but when I say gigantic rock stars, so I'm in this room, everyone's talking about their alcoholism and I started talking about my food. I felt embarrassed, but also the way it went around. I turned to the guy behind me and I go, this ain't for me, didn't go back. Until 13 years later, I was went back in and Richard originally took me, I just had a nervous breakdown and was suicidal. So I was really down, health wise and everything, and I had gone away to rehab for mental health and also abusing alcohol and weed, I drank a lot of beer and I drank to get drunk, I smoked weed, both to escape. And I didn't do them as a habit, I did them when I felt. Self-medicating. Self-medicating. Self-medicating. But still food is what I had bottomed out on, food. So someone took me to the meeting and I will celebrate my sobriety date, February 4th, four years for being a regular thank you, pal. And the guy I said, this ain't for me, not even realizing it because he told me the story of that. He's my sponsor. So I lobbed down to this guy, he said, yeah, I'll sponsor you like three weeks anyway. Do you remember me? And I go, no, he tells me that story. So I think that that is one of those universe things that full circle around. And yeah, so he profoundly changed my life, comedically taught me things in every level he taught. He just, you know, I learned from, you say mentor, yeah, those were mentors to me. Heroes, mentors. Clothes, friends, I was really grateful to have that. I do want to you to mention your photography building in the end. The name of my book is Best, The Best Seat in the House. I forgot the, the sub thing, it's funny, actually. Like pictures I've taken of people that nobody asked for, just like something stupid. But it's really, it's a good quip. Yeah. Anyhow, it's pictures of me. No, I'm in at one shot, which is me in a mirror for my intro to the book. But I'm not in the pictures. It's pictures I took during Curb, Susie, Larry, you know, JB, and pictures from, I was in this movie Babylon, got pictures of Brad Pitt. My favorite picture of the book is when I took Margarabi. I've got musicians, Jeff Tweedie, I've got an amazing shot. These are all people that I'm working with when I take these pictures. John Mulaney, I have an action shot of John Mulaney. You think of John Mulaney as just sort of, I've got one that if you see the picture you go, you think he's more like Sam Kinnison when you see the picture. Oh, he's screaming. Oh, he looks like he's screaming. I don't know what he's doing. But I got that. I got all sorts of comedians, heroes of mine, and they're all the shots from set. But all my shots on set are environmental. In other words, there has to be a boom in the shot or something because then I'm treading on the separate photographers' place. So I show people in a scene, like Larry in a scene, but there's all this stuff around it. What happened that day? Is that what you're saying? Well, I'll talk about maybe. I know. Yes. I go in a moment. Crafts are great. I have a great one of Richard Kind. That's a great story another time. But it's all these essays that are right for every one of the pictures. As a means of documenting your career, it's a really neat way to do it. It is kind of a neat way to do it, although, like I said, I'm not in the shot. I am in two of the shots, reflection in my house. There's one of Jeff Ross in a window. I'm in the reflection. Which one I took the picture. I did not notice. And one of Jennifer Aniston? No. You know, she talks like this. Coolidge. Jennifer Coolidge. I've noticed since the '80s, anyhow, she's getting her makeup put on in a thing. And I took a shot of her. I did not notice that I was in the mirror. I don't want to take a picture of her. If I may have anything to do with it. But those are in there. But no intent. And it's really all about these beautiful people and funny people that I've known and work with. Through your point of view. From my point of view. It's kind of cool. It's cool. The sets shots are environmental, the portraits are all environmental. Nobody. I'm not setting up anything. It's all in the moment. I love using natural light. I don't crop. It's just a very specific way. I should actually want to take a picture of you right now to end there. Yeah, I'm going to ask it. No, no, that's why I'm I think with these lights, a four, it should be four. Let me see some here. I might be blowing out. Let me go to. Oh, no. Let me go to five. How do I look? Oh, very beautiful. I don't have to even put the fact that you're posing as hilarious. You're very funny. All right. Let me see if I-- oh, they're great. They're great. Jeff Carly, they're great. Yeah. I want to give these guys a round of applause for the-- [MUSIC PLAYING]