Jason Day: Golf Saved His Life But Faith and Family Gave It Meaning. Lessons from a PGA Champion and Former World Number One

Welcome my friend, they should be in here. If you're new to listening, I'm Ryan McPartlin. That's known as Captain Awesome from the TV series Chuck. Way to go Chuck, that's awesome. After 25 years in the TV business, one thing still hasn't changed. When I hear a story that inspires me, I still find myself saying, "That's awesome." And those two simple words didn't just define the character of Captain Awesome, they really define who I am. See, I'm always searching for the awesome in life. So on this podcast, I'm sitting down with people who make me say exactly that. From actors and athletes, entrepreneurs and everyday heroes, all with stories, lessons and insights that just might make your life a little more awesome too. So please like the episode, share it with your family and friends because life is so much better. When you share something with others and they say, "That's awesome." What is up guys? Thank you for joining me on "That's Awesome" with Ryan McPartlin. Today's guest is someone who I've gotten to know through his amazing work with his family on the Brighter Days Foundation. He's not just one of the greatest golfers of our generation. What stuck with me is how this guy treats people. He remembers the little things. See, I'll never forget when I first met him, you know, I saw him a year later. And he remembered my brother's name, my kid's name. He was asking me how things were going with the movie I did at the time. I think it was Hunter Killer. Former number one in the world, PGA champion. You know, he's going to have to tell you how many victories he's won on the tour. But Jason Day, thank you so much for being here, bud. Thank you, mate. Good to be on the show. I know that we talked about it lead briefly. I've been jumping on the show when you were here last and it's nice to be able to do it and have some spare time to be able to chat. Buddy, how many victories have you had? Is it 13? On the PGAQ with 13. 13. That's incredible. Before we get into like your story and everything, I just got to know what's that like to know that you have 13 victories. What's it like to be able to just tell me the feeling of golf and maybe this gets into the whole origin story. But the feeling of swinging a golf club for you and just being able to for us mere mortals. Who will never know that feeling of being able to hit it over 300 yards with ease. Is that something that is just muscle memory for you now or do you still just get such satisfaction. I don't know. It probably goes to a point of like when you're acting and you've really killed a scene, you're like, that's exactly how I wanted to act and that's going to come through the through the screen and it's going to emotionally connect with a lot of people. It's for me like that's kind of probably what it feels like. But like golf is just yes, I've been doing it for so long. I'm heading into my 19th season on the PGA tour. I've been professional of dialing. Way plus years now. And it does become natural, but you still have to work on it. Like anything really, like the if you don't use it, you kind of lose it kind of kind of mentality where if you just load it kind of back off and you know work is hard thing, you don't lose it completely. It just like kind of slowly dissipates over time and then obviously then you start to not hit it as well. But yeah, yeah, that's kind of that's kind of where golf makes sense. That makes sense. It's one of those things that so many of us dabble in that we all wonder how good we can get. We all wonder, oh, if I really put the time then that's I get frustrated what I'm on the course because I know I'm not going to put that time in. I know I can't I can't sacrifice the time six hours a day eight hours a day whatever it is. But you always you feel like you left something on the table. Why golf is so important like in people's world is obviously firstly you can you can take your family out there. You can spend time with people. We spend time with loved ones. But the reason why people get so addicted to golf is because if you keep a handicap for instance you start your beginner you play off 18. It is so it is really easy to get from 18 to like a 10 mark. I'm very very quick and you're like, oh wow, like I wonder if I can get to zero or five next year and then once you get to five can I get to scratch like and then all of a sudden you're saying you're like, okay, you're starting to see dramatic improvement and then that's why golf is so addicted because you can get down you can take your handicap down very very quickly. But then you go to five and then it like you have to kind of work on a little bit more and then from five to zero the last part to get to scratch is the hardest thing to do because you're bringing in other elements that you have to work on and that does take time. That makes sense and by then I think my body will be breaking down by the time I could afford to practice. Trust me, mine is definitely broken down over. Well let's you know let's talk about the Jason Day story. I had all kinds of questions about the business of golf and the business of real estate and all the things you dabble in. For the Jason Day story, I just want to pick one episode of your life. Where were you at in this point of your life? What were your obstacles you were facing for the once and the objectives that you had and then what was the big takeaway? What did you, you know, what did you get versus what you wanted? That's kind of how I framed this and I structure this. So I'm going to let you take the lead on yeah, picking one episode of the Jason Day story. I guess we, I mean it's always easy to talk about golf now but I'm assuming you know you probably want to talk about how I got into golf and how that started and you know kind of go from there because if we're going to, if we're going to do a story and if I'm going to come back on here, if you're nice to get the start and then we just slowly go through what if you want to do it that way? Absolutely absolutely. Yeah so I grew up in Australia. I was born in a town called Bojez, a Queensland Australia and small country town at the time I think I had like 3,000 people so very, very like my dad and my mom's originally from the film. My dad was married twice, I'm sorry, married three times divorced twice. He had many, many kids. He was one of those guys that wasn't very committed in his relationships and he was what we call them back home. Over here we call them red necks but what we call him back home was we call bogeons so that's a different type of person and he bogeon. Yeah bogeon. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. That's not a term I've ever heard before. I spent six months in Australia too. You know I feel like I'm part of you now. Well yeah well as you know from our boy David Luderus here. He's you know I grew up in you know a different place in Australia so a different place than he did because he was in a country club I think. Yes that's correct that is correct that is very much so. Yeah I was born I was raised on a farm we raised a sheep we cheered sheep and like we had some and the way I got started into golf was we would go to the landfill and I remember walking the landfills which is a weird memory because I don't really have a lot of memories from my childhood but I remember walking through the landfill and just trying to find I would try and find toys but my dad and you know my family they would try and find stuff that they could probably refurbish or use around the house kind of thing and my dad one day found a golf club at the tip as we as we'd like to call it and he brought it back to me I went on three years old and I hit the I hit a tennis ball because I always like you know hitting things but I hit the tennis ball with the golf club yeah I'm like my dad and my mum would always say like oh she goes I remember your dad turning to me and saying this guy's going to be a champion one day and fast forward like you know we moved from boat exit to yeah boat exit to rock Hampton and they moved from one meet works to the other meet works and you know my dad was he was a bit of an alcoholic so he didn't the way that he was raised and he was just a bit he was a broth you know what I mean he was like he was tough and like I started playing a lot more golf when I was eight years old when we finally moved to rock Hampton and you know from there if I didn't play well he was very abusive on the golf course so and outside the golf course so there was like I definitely have memories of him like beating me up on the golf course and obviously outside the golf course but the one positive that I always take away from it which is like never a positive that like a little kid like that should ever go through it made me and forced me to focus really hard on the golf course because if I didn't I knew I was going to get whooped back home but because I loved the game of golf so much I wanted to play the game of golf so much it didn't matter like even if like for some reason in my mind I still remember saying this I'm like I don't care if I get whooped every day I just love golf so much that dude like I think this is a story that doesn't get nearly enough attention because most things in life most movies you see documentaries or books you read about any kind of abuse you associate that abuse with what you were doing and then you just hate it you loved golf that much that you with stood that abuse and and and it's just such a heart-wrenching thing to hear about especially for a father so keep I didn't I didn't mean to interrupt but I'm just saying that I just you thought I can't believe that you that I can't believe that you experience that kind of abuse do some of golf course and then associated with playing golf. - Yeah, I remember one time we were on the golf course and it was just me and him and he would do little things to hurt me around the golf course, like just little things and then finally, like after like five holes in the golf course where we're in the deepest part of the golf course where no one's at, I just had enough and I started walking the other way. And he said, come back and I didn't listen and then for some reason, he talked me into coming back and he said, he goes, I'm gonna say sorry blah blah blah. So I walked back and as soon as I walked back, he knocks me out. - It would've closed this knocks me out. - Oh my God. - On the ground. - On the ground. And I mean, I can laugh about it now. - Hold were you at this point? - Would've been eight or nine. Yeah. - Yeah, so I was a little, I was a little fella. Yeah, really little. Oh, I think that's where my dark humor comes from because of all the stuff that we went through. - Shoes. - You know, yeah, I mean, it was tough because, you know, you go through that, you love something so much and I didn't, like I had some friends at school, but like I just loved golf so much and I was willing to go through the pain of it all, just to play golf because I really thoroughly enjoyed it and I enjoyed the competition of it. And I was actually starting to kind of become a better golfer. And then obviously went in from when I was like eight years old through 12 and then he got cancer. So my dad found out he had stomach cancer. Well, the story happened was he had stomach pains, went down a bruise bin which was an eight hour drive, came back and they said, no, there's nothing there. And then like three months later he's still got these pains, he goes back for scans and then they go, oh, you're terminal, you don't have very much to very long to live. And then literally a few months go by, I think, and it was like three to six months and then he was pretty much gone. Like it was very, very quick. And after that kind of everything derailed for me and my sister's, my middle sister, she lived on the streets for four years, she was homeless, she was like doing some drugs and stuff. So and then I started drinking, I started getting in fights at school. My other sister had personally issues that I do not want to talk about because it's very sad. And it was just like a broken thing. And even though my dad was an out like, he stopped being alcoholic at the time, but even though he was a very abusive father, he was still the authority figure in the house and you didn't want to kind of act out. And then once he was gone, then that was a reason for us to kind of do whatever we wanted to do. I remember we had a house party when my mom was away on work and 300 people show up at the house and the cops were called and like it was just a nightmare. Like there was fights going on everywhere. It was just like, it was pretty crazy. And how old were you at that point? Were you in 4, 12, 14? What was it? Yeah, I was 12 at that time. Well, oh my God. Yeah. Let me pause real quick here because I'm getting, it's breaking up on your end a little bit. It's a little bit of a delay. It just broke. Yeah, like right. Yeah, just delayed on your end too. All right, we're back mate. Sorry, buddy, that's my fault. No, say, oh, my bomb for some reason is like very sketchy on the wifi button. No problem at all. I mean, we're in such a heavy part of a conversation. I hated to stop at all because I mean, I know you've talked about this before in articles and when I read articles, I get choked up and I just think it's myself. How is it that not only did you survive the type of physical, mental, verbal abuse from your father, but how did it form you as a golfer, as a person, as a father? And I guess the part we just left off on was, you're about 12 years old, you're dadded past away from cancer. You were kind of left to your own devices with your sisters because your mom was at work a lot, providing for the family. And that then what happened? So my, you know, obviously like I said before, my sisters ran away. My other sister went to reach some personal issues and then I was going through my stuff and then my mom, for some reason, I don't know how this happened, but my mom came to me one time and said, hey, what do you think about going to a golf academy? I thought it was like kind of my wife's happening. And then I looked back on it and I'm like, it was her sacrifice because she knew that I was starting to go down a road in regards to drinking at a very young age, getting in fights, probably the most likely going to get expelled from school. To the point where he's starting to spiral out of control, this is probably a sacrifice that she was willing to make, just for me to be able to live a better life, you know what I mean? And when I say that, she took a mortgage out of the house, it was like 70 grand or something like that that we bought it, which is for us there was a lot. Of course it was. Yeah, it was a lot. She took a mortgage out of the house and then borrowed some money from family. And then that was enough to send me away to boarding school to get me away. And now like when I look back on it and I'm like, well, it was just my journey was kind of strange. I had very, I mean, I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I like, there's a lot of trauma in there that I've kind of blacked out. And I've just, yeah, I haven't gone in there and dug it out and like kind of gone through the emotion. Every now and then I'll get emotional, like just randomly emotional. Yeah, I'll be just standing there. I start tearing up just because I'll smell something or I'll think of something that reminds me of like the trauma that I went through, but for the most part, I'm blacked out. And what I didn't realize is that it took me awhile, but like I could understand it was that when a door closes, like my father, you know, passed in a way. I wouldn't have the opportunities that I had if he was still alive, you know what I mean? It's so, it sounds weird and strange to say it like this, but it was almost like a blessing that of course his passing, you know, changed my course or direction of where my life was going to be. Because if he was alive, there's no chance I would have been a professional dolphin, zero chance. He would have, he would have destroyed me. I know it. And you had changed your whole family's life too. And for your mother to risk it all, you had to be damn good at that age. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, we had, it was to the point where like my sisters, they were, my mom was paying my boarding school tuition and my sisters couldn't go to college because I was going to boarding lunch. So they didn't, they weren't able to go to college or do anything so they just were working normal jobs that you work at home like myself. Whatever you're paying, right? Yeah, my sister was like a checkout person at like the local supermarket. And like, my other sister was who knows where, you know, the one kind of team moment and I don't know why this happened. And I'd love to know why it happened, but I don't know why it happened. But when I first met my coach or one of the first few sessions that I had with my coach, Colin Swad, he was like very structured in the way that he's planned. And the way that he's practiced his work. And he's like, today we're gonna work on short game. And at the time at the golf academy, we had a par three course. I'm like, I'm gonna go work on lines. And he's like, no, no, you gotta work with the team. The team's here, we're working this. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. Like I'm gonna go. And then he's like, well, you're doing it and you're doing it. And you don't think that it's, so I started swearing at him like, cussing him out. And then he's just like, get out of here then. And I was out on the par three course playing by myself. And it was at that time when I'm walking out there by myself. And I don't know, I still don't know why what came over me to think of my mom and like the sacrifice is that she made for me to get there. If you're a punk kid, you're like, you don't really think about that. You're just like kind of thinking of like, what's in the moment? And you're like, I'm gonna do it. I don't care about anyone else. But I have for some reason, I had some sense to think about like the sacrifice that my sisters were going through, that my mom went through to be able to send me here. And I went up to and I apologize to him. And ever since then, we never had a problem. Like, we were going through my school years. It was great. I started practicing a lot harder, so I've worked harder. But yeah, I mean, that was first like, I kind of understand why a door will close in another opportunity, another door will open. - Well, he was the first authority figure in your life since your father and your mother. And so at that age, it's natural to rebel against somebody Let's try it in the end. to tell you to do something and at this point you're like, no, authority figures passed away. It's gone. So I could do whatever I want to do. But for you to have the wherewithal to say, no, my mom is going through this and not have the self-centeredness that so many teenagers do, it's a natural stage of life to be able to like, hey coach. - I don't know, yeah, and then once again, I don't know why that happened. Like I don't know why I thought about that. I don't know whether it was like a God thing or a faith thing or something like because like when I was growing up we've never really, we didn't, like I didn't, I was raised Catholic but I wasn't. - Prime was a student. - Yeah, if you weren't really practicing anything like that and like Australia's not a very religious country in itself but I definitely believe in God and now. It's changed the way that I am as a person. But yeah, I honestly feel like someone up there was looking out for me. Like to give someone that just lost their dad and you go away and then you've gone through some trouble and for them to, for you to be able to think correctly, I think it was just maybe the peace and quiet of like just being out there by myself and just thinking to myself, I think that gave me the ability to be able to go, okay, well, a lot of people are doing a lot of good things for me. Like let's just try and listen to him and let's try and do some, do the right thing at least and then that's kind of where it went on. - That's beautiful. And so at that point did you start excelling so well and have so much talent that you knew what you wanted is like what was your objective at that point? Now you're in this structured place. - Yeah. - It's giving you some opportunity ahead of you. Was it something that you knew where it could lead? - At the time, I didn't think I was gonna become professional golfer until I was like 16. So from when I was like 12 and a half, 13 years old when I went down to the golf academy at 13, I was like, I had three years here where I was like, kind of just doing the work and I don't know if I'll be a golfer or not. Like I'm finding a little bit of success, but it wasn't until that school that I was at Krabberman International last shot down. Everyone that was a part of that golf academy went 30 minutes towards Brisbane at another golf academy called Hills International. So there was a bunch of kids that went from Krabber to Hills because that was another golf academy that was just down the street. And the crazy thing was where I wasn't rock-ampton, eight hours away, but as it were I was born, was smack-bang-routing right between these two golf academies, which was kind of weird then. We were in a big dormitory in Krabberman at Hills. He went into a room, there was a common area, then there was two rooms on either side and that's four. You know, just two bunk beds, so four people could sleep. So I had three roommates, one was Nathan Roberts and he was a really, really good golfer. I'm kind of up and around where I'm from and in Rocky and then also Luke Redden, who you know is my catty. And I really didn't start finding success until I room with Luke and he gave me a book about Tigerwood. He had a book about Tigerwoods and in the back of that book was like at each age from like 12 or 13 through 17, 18 years old, of like certain tournaments that he won and what he shot at those tournaments. So I was sitting there thinking I'm like, okay, well I'm 14 and Tigerwoods is shooting 67s and 66s and I'm shooting 72s. I'm like, I'm good, like I'm a scratch golfer. I'm good, but I'm not that good. And I'm like, well, for some reason, I just decided to get up at four, five o'clock in the morning. Like it was literally four o'clock because I know we don't have a better savings in Queensland. So it gets really light there. So I was up at four o'clock and I was practicing before school. I don't know why it happens. I just decided to get up and I'm like, I'm just gonna work on short game. And I just skate, like went out there and started working on short game, started having more of a schedule practice. And then after a while, I just started shooting like ridiculous schools, like started shooting really good schools and my handicap started going into the plosters and then soon thereafter when I was 16, I finally like went through a year of just dominating golf. And I'm like, do you think when that was? Yeah. Were you working on specific things that you read about, how to hit a ball, how to like hit a certain shot? It was just all feel. I don't honestly don't know. Like I think I sat down and I'm like, well, after I read the book, I'm like, I need to wake up and I need to work hard. And I'm like, well, where do I need to work? I need to save shots. And the only way to save shots is around the greens because I'm not going to hit every green, you know, any. Though the only way is like to work on my short game, work on my short game and put it. So that's what I did. And then all of a sudden I started getting really good as short game, which is kind of what I'm known for now. My short game and my putting is what I'm known for. And I started to work really, really hard on my short game putting, that started paying. I started like saving a lot of shots. And then I don't know why I just started. I'm like, I'm just going to work on my short game and just go from there because I never really ever hit balls. I was never a range rat that beat balls all day all the way up. Like I was always just like, yeah, I kind of hit a pretty decent on my own, okay, but like I need to work my short game. And yeah, I mean, that was kind of it. I started working on that and that's kind of the rest of it. - That's awesome. I mean, that is truly awesome because most guys that get to the golf course like me, oh, we got to warm up. You go to the driving range, you hit a few, you don't even go to the putting green half the time and then you go tee off and they're like, oh, figure out as I go. And then you see it. Like it's going to be the other way. Like when you, like if you go to the golf course, you should go straight to the putting green, chipping green and work for about 15, 20 to 30 minutes on your putting in chipping, chipping. And then go and hit balls because you're like, you'll warm up as you go out there anyways. But like if you start to like get a feel for the green, starts get a feel for like the short game, the raft, the bunk, and all that stuff, like you'll face shots out there and you're like, oh, if you, let me put it this way. If you just did short game warm up and just let, oh, warm up as I go out there and fight you probably play in a 100%. It's just that every guy is so nervous about that first drive in front of whoever they're playing with. That's what happens. Everyone's like, oh my God. If I just, if I hook this right away or slice it or just duff it, everyone's gonna be like, oh, why do we invite this guy out? (laughing) I get it. Yeah, that's the feeling. Like I have friends that are in therapy for that right now. Just say, how can I hit it off the tee and not feel like everybody's breathing down my neck? Doesn't get easier at a professional level. (laughing) Oh wow. So all right, so you had this vision at 16 years old. You had the worth it. You were just crushing it then. So where did it go from there? What were the obstacles standing in the way of you? You come in a professional golfer. What was it that was standing in your way and what was your path like? So when I was 16, like I won the Queensland Junior by 10, I won the Victorian Junior by 10, I won the Southest Strange Junior by 5, I won the Australian Junior Championship, I won the Queensland Amateur, which was like in the open against men. I won the World Junior Championship, so I won the New Zealand Under 19s. So it was just like, wherever I traveled I was winning, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then after I came back, I was just like, all crap, I know that I'm good enough to become a professional. How good I don't know. But it was because at the time I started getting off his from colleges, like, you know, I think I had like 10 or 11 off his from college to get full rights. And I remember sitting there talking coal about it from my coach and he's like, he has, I don't think you do that. He has, I think you're mature beyond your ears, I think you go pro and it was a big no no to go pro. Back in the day, you know, I don't know of what it's like now in Australia, but back in the day, back then it was a strange golf union. And they were the, if you had to go and you represent your country for the Eisenhower Cup, and that was the big three guys going to represent their country and that was a big tournament. And do you like had to represent Australia and get you get, like they would tell you, you have to go and get experience. And when you get experience, that'll like, propel you forward. And when I said I'm going to go pro, they were like severely disappointed because I think half banking on me saying it, like representing Australia for a good four to five years. And I wasn't ready to go to college because I hated school. I didn't like school. I went to six months of school in grade 11 and six months of school in grade 12 because I was traveling all the time playing golf. It's just barely past school. I'm not in book smart in that sense, but I knew that if I went to college, I would have got into other stuff. Yeah, whether that was chasing girls or going to party or like, you know, just, you've already done that when you were 12. (laughing) I didn't need to do it. Great. Okay, you were matured beyond your years at that point. And it was time for you to go pro. And I'm glad that you and your coach called knew that and had that conversation. Well, and saying that, we set you out and talked to him. We were like, nah, I don't want to go pro. 'Cause I remember talking to some guys over here in the United States. But there was a guy named Hank Keeney. He was a BJTWC back in the day. His brother, Trip Keeney, used to play the amateur circuit. He was a successful businessman, but he also used to play amateur golf as well. And he's really good. And I'm sitting there practicing. I remember he was telling me, he was, if you're ready to go pro, I would go pro. You know, I wouldn't wait around. And that was the whole thing for us is to be able to play against the competition that we're potentially gonna play against, you know, down the road. So whether it's a secondary or a secondary, event like a corn fairy or back then it was nationwide or if it was like a hooters tour event or some sort of tour event where I could get competitive reps in play three to four rounds of golf against professional golfers at 18 at least I was going to play against where is in like if you go to college you can't part of a team you play maybe I don't know what they do now but maybe 14 15 events for the year. But then you go to school so like it was just like I wanted to get in and go okay I've got a set schedule this is what I'm playing I'm just learning how the book flights I couldn't rent cars back then but you know at least travel and learn how to travel on a professional level that way it would prepare me for you know professional golf and then you know a plates you know seven tournaments and when I finished high school and I played. You know my last amna event at 18 I remember calling the guy that I was going to sign with saying hey I think I'm ready to turn pro and he was at a golf tour I PJ tour event true from Baltimore to the memory imitation all up in New York. I signed the contract with him and he got me seven stars on the PJ tour ever since then I just kicked it on me I think my best finish was 11th during you know that seven tournaments that I had on the PJ tour at 18 and then went to two school that year. Bommed out into school but still had conditional status and conditional status on the secondary tour but then at that time we had two events down the Australian New Zealand and I got sponsors invites which was thankful for. Yeah I finished 30 starting the first event and then thought I was going to miss a cut in the second event there's trench all down poor and wind and rain came and I was sleeping and the second event the guy came in and so hey what do you know I'm in like you're going to make the cart and I've land and bed so I got got up got dressed random golf course got to my T got to my T time and ended up finishing 6th that week so I don't yeah so I played well on the weekend that reshuffled me enough to get my full card on the corn ferry or the nationwide and then I end up winning later that year and then that I've been on that got me to the PJ tour and I've been out there ever since. That's incredible and I don't think people realize how truly hard it is not just to be good at golf yeah but the travel the isolation yeah you know that the it's lonely it's lonely right there is a very lonely it's a very lonely sport that's why I think it's so important to have the correct people around you that are always going to prepare you forward and push you in the road direction if you have people that it's like a there's a toxic relationship there's never going to help. I remember after I had this Japanese girlfriend when I was playing the corn or the nationwide tour and it was really clearly the next event after New Zealand so I finished 6 and I was in the last group on Sunday and she blows up the night before at me for some I don't know reason she locks herself in the bathroom wouldn't come out of the bathroom I'm like my heads off I end up going out the next day and shooting 80 in the final round in the final group. Play terrible and I said I remember sitting there I think it I'm like that is never going to happen to me ever again and then we end up breaking up and then shortly thereafter I I started dating Ellie my fault my wife so and which propelled your career just in the opposite way the opposite way she was like the complete different different person to what I was what I was used to. She's amazing she is truly awesome in the best sense of the word yeah so yeah I mean like I met her when I was 17 but we didn't start dating until I was about to turn 19 and how did you meet sorry how did you meet again. So I was coming through playing Junior golf and she was a waitress at an Irish pub up in twins burger higher called the Mavis Winkels and I had man. I wish I had your looks you know me I wish I had your heart your looks and I had zero gain dude like zero so the way that I the way that I got her number was I just took it out of my coach's phone and I jack spitter. And then she actually back so that's amazing well you had golf game you don't need to have my height you know I wish I wish I had your golf game. Man I'll tell you that's so cool because you guys are just the best couple and I didn't know I was going to ask about this one so glad that I mean five children later hold on let me dash yep as arrow Lucy and Winnie. Yep that's great yeah five children it's amazing we're just talking about the toxic relationships you have to keep out your life right and then you met me Ellie but besides that you have to have. The business right business people around you you have to have the right catty you have to have the right coaches metal performance coaches all that stuff was there something from. The experience in your childhood with your dad that you were able to go anything that resembles that is not going to be in my life going forward right. I mean. Was that was that a conscious effort on your part or was that just something that you knew because you seem very intuitive and so grounded more than any professional athlete i've ever met in my life and I and I have met a lot of them and I sincerely mean that but your ego is so in check i'm sure it's very healthy on the golf course where it needs to be. Well you got to understand that it depends on where you're from to like in in the ego department like if you're we have to sink on tall copy. Yeah a little bit. Exactly so if you're a really like good golfer like me and I if I had an attitude like I was walk around like I was you know the king of everything in Australia they knock you down a notch or two pretty quick because. All popies girl if anything grows over the cut it off right yeah they like how you getting a little bit fully self like you know take a data couple of notches they there's drains always love an underdog you know so. You have that that component to it you obviously have you know you had that my dad and like that kind of you know our relationship that we had. You have the relationship with what what I had with my mom and you have relationship or what I had with a colon my agent and Ellie so I had. A really really good team around me that was trying to push me in the right direction and when I say that like call I remember it's talking to colon he's like hey we want to get to number one. In the world at 22 I don't know why 22 but like it was that was our goal we're trying to number five in the world of 23 so like you have to have these certain goals in place at a reach but not completely. Consume thank not completely insane to the point well hey that's not reachable you know I mean like you want them to make it hard so that you are always motivated towards that but obviously you need a structured plan along the way to be able to get you towards. Now granted what they did back in the day because I was poor I would you know for the longest time I would hoard underwear and socks because I never had brand new underwear or brand new socks growing up as a kid our school clothes for the year my dad would give us $20 and it was from me my sister Kim Yana and my mom and we would go down to the thrift store and you'd get a normal grocery bag just like like this. Yeah it was five bucks a bag so five bucks you could fit in like it doesn't matter how big it was you as much as you could cram in there and for five bucks I was my close to the so like I remember like having clothes that wasn't like fit for me but land you get bullied at school and all that stuff but like that's what you had you know I mean so like there was certain trades after when I finally started deal with Taylor made and I was on the PGA tour that I was like. I do get myself out of like like I said I would hold underwear I'd hold like socks I do now I've got draws and draws draws and draws of underwear like that I don't need but like it's just ingrained into me as a kid they're like I never had like new like underwear socks. Well that's so it says so much about you man because it makes sense I mean I've known your history I think we got into it last time we talked deeper than we have in the past and how connected you are to that and how I think how blessed not just blessed because you worked for right it wasn't a gift this is something you've worked tremendously hard for. But it's also the recognition of not everybody has the talents that you have and it comes background to your brighter days foundation and what you do for others and how amazing and how grounded you are not I wish that you could wrap this all up in a tidy bow and say oh this was the book I read this was the podcast I listen to are this is the. The belief that changed me forever and religion but it seems like there are a lot of steps along the way for you you know that we're all in the positive direction you find yourself having to put yourself in a. In a positive mind frame when things don't go your way or do you just naturally handle the ups in the downs the roller coaster of being on tour this is an interesting one because the way that. I beat myself up a lot like in regards to like when I come off a golf course and I haven't performed. early days I would beat myself in my room and I wouldn't want to talk to anyone but I felt like I was a failure and this is where the team environment and having a good solid team around you is like important because because I never got positive feedback from my home environment even like after my dad died because obviously his abusive my dad died my mom took over and she was like always strict she would always go if I wasn't winning it was never good enough kind of thing and I think she said in her mine set was like well I've got to kind of fill my dad filled dad's role and be strict on him and like there was one one time I'm playing against Tiger at the Australian Open he's a group in front of me I played with him the first two first two days and I'm finishing fourth but I'm like the 14th hole because I was a winning my mom's walked off the golf course on the final line so it's just like I loot that she would gone out of everyone that was there I knew she wasn't there like that was a one person they're like you want their support but she wasn't there but I understand as well because she's trying to be so double edged short it's a double edged sword as she pushes it pushes you yeah and in your mind you knew that I just don't want my validation from golf yeah you know yeah and I still I still struggle with that too you know what I mean like I still struggle with like if I don't perform and play well you know like I you know I'm no good like I'm you know you like what are you doing like and I really severely beat myself up but you know having having Ellie to talk to and she's always open yeah and always positive like yeah she'll regardless of how I feel yeah she will factually tell me what is going on from a very loving place and sometimes I do not want to hear it and I struggle with because like I said before my dad was was wasn't great my mum like was strict I hate hearing like any sort of positive encouragement or like just anything positive towards me I like I can't take it up even though I'm positive on anyone else if someone says something positive about me I'm like I almost have to walk out of it I can't take it I think actors and golfers are a lot more alike than we think because it's the same thing with Danielle man and Danielle is the best she is the the North star in my life and she is the shining light and she is so like we talk about how you know you wake up with a half class full or half empty and her glasses not just half as always full and I'm like it's always full and I'm the same way if I'm like either got the job or I didn't get the job you know either you know the ratings were good or they weren't good and there's not a lot in between and I get so hard of what could I done differently and it sounds like you have that it's those thoughts right it's the negative reinforcement that we got overcome and just let it be and just go it's either you winner you learn right I was I love that I love that failure is the best teacher but it's not always failure you know it's not always in your control and that's that's the hard thing to let go of yeah we know it definitely is I mean by the sounds of it we we both have a good wife and I'm that Danielle at a young age too so yeah one that 20 so that with with with that being said sometimes you take it for granted you don't you don't see it as you know how important it is at the time like because I remember I would for for a long time I could just I had a trade of just cutting people it like if I wanted to if we were having a chat and you said something that was like not great to me I'd be like okay I'm dumb talking you and I'll never talk to you ever again and that's okay like and I wouldn't even like I'd be like I'm gonna go eat something I'm hungry and I wouldn't even wouldn't even be a thought out I'm completely the opposite like I'm like like how do we like work it out like you know what I mean if something is going on because loyalty is very very important to me not only at a you know a personal level with you know I mean my family professionally as as business and then also friendship as well if if I'm now I'm gonna be there for you man like regardless you know what I mean like that's amazing and I I see that new and I feel that new and I think that that's incredible to get that far without everybody goes to therapy and talks about therapy on podcasts now I love therapy I feel like a lot of the podcasts I listen to are like therapy put along the the lines of when you reach number one in the world let's talk about that real quick because you win the PGA championship in 2015 is that right at Whistling Straits which oh my god if anybody's ever played Whistling Straits it feels to me like the hardest course in the world and I want to say you had the record did you have the record yeah the first guy to get to 20 20 under it any major that's insane yeah that's insane I just remember being buried in the sand trap looking up and not being able I'm like I'm on a wall like I can't get out of this wall and you're 20 under on that that's incredible would tell me that feeling because we talked about this briefly I just want you to share with someone who's listening right now if they're like oh if I just do this in life I'll then be enough I'll reach that point where everything will be great so talk about winning that championship I went through a massive tear on 2015 one five times four times four times and six events and the last event that I won was the BMW championship which was a second player for one so I won Canada took a week off won the PDA and then to a week off and then won the first playoff and the second playoff event the backman there was four playoff events and they said to me they're like hey you that if you win this week you're gonna become number one in the world and I like great that's fantastic something that I've always wanted it like True Paul and that ultimately winning that week and I've got to number one in the world in that moment in that time felt fantastic just because it was you for it feeling of like hey you've worked so hard to get here that was one of the goals I remember as a kid there's two things that I've always wanted to do is like put on a green jacket and and become number one in the world so I've obviously got one of those I still haven't wanted to make jacket being close many times but I wore this for you today thanks right I saw that is I'm manifesting for you yeah exactly I saw that but when I got to number one the next day I woke up and it was like kind of cool to be able to look at the official world goal rankings and see Jason day at one and I knew that no one in the world was better than me regardless of what room I went into like I was the best like out of all the people in the world there's no one better than me that's incredible but yeah which is a great but you're right it does it like that stuff wore off pretty quick too narrow after I went through good stretch again in 2016 but after I won the players I completely switched off like there was just too much work I just like I was get pulled in all sorts of directions and it was just very very difficult for me to be able to handle all the stress and everything of being the best player in the world and have to please everyone and I just I found a very very difficult and hell how do I sign it I think the biggest thing that what I've learned is that I've learned to love the process of getting there more so than the actual setting there I think you know what I mean because I said it's interesting so the process of getting there the journey of getting there yeah as much more rewarding to you the work yeah if you have any purpose yes so I wake up every morning going okay I need to do this I need to stretch I need to do my warm-ups I need to do this I need to go the gym I need to practice I need to like it gives me like a set a set like purpose throughout the day because if I was five or tied a mar or like what am I gonna do yeah so you rather practice and you'd rather play than being in the hall of fame and look at all your trophies stuff is like is is the work that I put into right and though and the trophies and the whole fame and all that stuff is the reason of or the part of the reason why like you work so hard but like that's just a small piece of it like I enjoy the process of just getting like practicing and being out there and trying to work out a problem like why am I doing this and then finally you get to fear out okay it's because of you know your arms are in the wrong spot or you're standing too close or you know you're just thinking incorrectly over it so it's just like that I really thoroughly enjoy oh um dude I just want to congratulate you for not not what you've just accomplished on the golf course because that speaks for itself but even more so break in a generational cycle because people that are hurt usually hurt people and you're the opposite you're the absolute opposite you are so warm and kind and loving you have five beautiful children an amazing wife and that just speaks so much to me and to everybody. who's listening, I'm sure of like what kind of man you are. And I just, you know, I'm getting choked up just talking about you right now. And I would say that if you could leave everybody with one ritual, one thought, one mindset to like take forward every day with them, that helps you in any way, just, you know, fire away. Yeah. I think finding structure or schedule helps, but I would say for me, something that gets me like in a, in a good mood is a lot of my mood is related to how my body is. So my back is sore. I get really moody and I get kind of angry and I'm and all that stuff. So I'm not saying go out and do something for your body. I'm just saying find the thing that puts you in different types of moods. So if you like, he'll work out in the morning and that gives you the correct mood to take on the day, then you should do it. If you wake up and you do, you know, you don't have a morning coffee and that gets you in a, in a terrible mood. I would suggest having a coffee and giving yourself time. So you got to find things that will get you in the right frame of mind to start the day, that way you can start to knock off these little mini goals that you're trying to achieve throughout your, or the process that you're trying to achieve throughout the day to ultimately reach your outer reach goal. That will soon, if you start to keep working harder on the things that you need to, that outer reach show will become a lot closer to be able to grab it. I love that. That and find the right life partner. Yes. Find the right life partner. That's where you and I both have done so well. So dude, you are awesome. And thank you for joining us. I hope you come on again and we'll just go ahead now. Then we'll get specific to talking about little golf. Like just one swing that you can correct for me. Like one thing that I can take away on the golf course. But you're amazing, dude. So and you are awesome. Thank you for joining us. And I was a, appreciate you having me on, man. I, I, I enjoyed this. Obviously, I got to come back on now and tell the rest of the story. Absolutely. Thanks, brother. Thanks. Thanks again for listening guys. Make sure to like and subscribe and be sure to share with any family and friends that you want to be more awesome. Also, if you want to reach out to me, DM me at Ryan McPartlin on Instagram. If you liked the show, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.