Hi, it's Rick Glassman from this podcast. We'll get right to the show, but first I wanted to let you know that I'm on my standup comedy tour, Ricky's on the loose, and I'm in Dallas this weekend. And if you're in Washington, DC, Montreal, Quebec, Edinburgh, or London in the UK, Portland or Eugene in Oregon, Philadelphia, PA, or Houston, Texas. My tickets are for sale now at rickglasmin.com. And if you want to be the first to be notified when I'm coming to your city because I'm adding dates as we speak, go to rickglasmin.com/tour, sign it from an email list, and I'll let you know. Hey, girls, get started without me. I'll be right there. Hurry up, Rick, seriously. What are you doing? Please, I'll be right there. Now enjoy the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show. Hello, hello, hello. This is Miranda. I'll show you'll be helping us with the day. I want to take from you. Oh, thank you so much. You guys will be on the couch. I'm going to have you right here, Tay. Look, he's settled in. He's happy. This is me. I didn't want to come for you. I take from him. Okay, we'll get it that out. Do you mind sitting on a little bit of lick spot? Well, you know, I could put something down. Look at this, cake. It tells a lot about a person when they said you take like this. That's a racial sculpture. What this shows is he's thoughtful, but isn't quite making the kind of money to go to a bakery. Look who loves who? You want to see this is why I couldn't wait. Look who loves who? I'm going to wait to be here for this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is fine. It's fine. You change your mind. And I make a living. I didn't even have to do that. I'm comfortable. I barely make a living. Look at you. Look at you. The first time I heard that joke was like that could literally mean to you know the whole joke. I mean, the setup is a guy hits a guy on the row or sees a guy get hit on the road pedestrian. And the guy and he goes to comfort him and he puts his coat under his head and he, right, that's the setup for the joke. And he goes, are you comfortable? And the guy goes, I make a living. All right. Okay. What can I get you guys to drink? I have caffeinated drinks. Dark caffeinated drinks. I got water. I got room temp. I got cold. You have a sparkling water. And I'll have what do you have cold? You have Diet Coke. Anything like a Diet Coke or any Diet Coke. Anything like that. No diets. So there's a regular coke. Why would he have a diet? Because people like to change my last coke. I have a taxi. Rupier. Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper. Do you have a cell ray? Dr. Who's not the man? Oh, those are very good. They're good. They're good. It's not strong enough. No, it's good. It's good. I'm telling you to fight. I don't like it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. No, it's good. I'll give a try. I'll give a try. Well, it depends. My father was Jewish. My mother was Jewish. Goal. Goal. Goal. I mean, no. What do you think? Jewelry's out. It's kind of good. There's a little bit of an astrocage. And it supports digestive health. Musky? Because it has probiotics. 19, 18, so I don't get a sponsor after this. Hey, Oli, Pop. I'm talking to you up. Really? I'm a very podcast. I'm your spokesperson. Not bad. I'm allergic. Are you out of your mind? Yeah, seemingly. The two or three times I tried it back in the day. High school. Every time I did it, I got, and I don't get migraines. I got like a migraine strength headache and hives. Well, a lot of doctors said to me, you know, it's a plant and you're allergic to a lot of plants. So I answer that question with, I smoke more weed than Dr. Timothy Leary if you smoke weed. And the funniest episode we did, now Jason's known, you walk into a room 10 out of 10 people on the side. We had, we had, all right, eight, eight, we kind of ate. What's his name? Snoop Dogg's ex-blunt roller came in studio. That's true. Okay. Why did he break up? I don't think that she's freelance. She's freelance and she's amazing, right? So she showed us how to roll water. She bought, if you've ever seen shows where they go to the docks and they bust like a shipment, that's how much she brought. I swear to God, it was like overnight bags and bags full. So she gives it to us. And all I'm picturing is Jason's rear ended on the way home. Well, let me tell you, you could smell, it was in two two sealed bags. I put it in the trunk of my car and you could smell it on the 405. And I don't mean inside the car. I mean, people passing me could smell it on the 405. Dogs were falling. I was just right in with my shirt. It's like a chameleon. Is this a rescue door? A lot of people ask that they ask, do I feel like I rescued him or if he rescued me, but I really feel like I rescued him, the music. How long you've been together at teen? Two years this month. First dog. Does he travel with you? It's your first dog. Oh, it's your first dog. Oh, Jason, sorry. Here we go. Thank you. Okay. I'm going to mess up my what's left of my actual. You know, he wore a hairpiece for years too. I did not. Yeah, we did. We just sit come together and Jason decided to wear the hairpiece for the sick. I'm going to go. It looks natural. Go for the gusto. Try gusto today at gusto.com/tiso. Get three months free when you run your first payroll. That's three months free payroll at gusto.com/tiso. One more time. gusto.com/tiso. Go for the gusto. Do it. Go for the gusto.com. Once we slash you, we're not doing okay. Good. I'll go Bob. You say for simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss. For simple online access and personal for care line loss, weight loss and more visit hymns.com/tiso. That's hymns.com/tiso for your free online visit hymns.com/tiso. This is going to be 713. So it's still before the July sale 27% off-site. This is their biggest deal. Holy shit. Go to helixleap.com/tiso to get 27% off-site. I'm sure you're reading that correctly, Ricky. It says right here that's helixleap.com/tiso for 27% off-site. I've never heard of a 27% discount. How long does that last? Through August 2nd, geez. Make sure you enter her show name and check out so they know we sent you. The whole show name. Tiso. That's not the whole show name. The whole show name is take your shoes off. Or Tiso. I love the way the two of you look. Look at this. Can we take a picture of Robert Steven? Ricky's on the loose. Ricky is on the loose. If you want to see me practice in my hour for my special, come on out to a show. I'll be at just for last Montreal, Canada. This July, in August, I will be at the fringe festival in Edinburgh. Edinburgh. Scotland. I will then go to Amsterdam and Dublin. Dublin. London. In September, Portland, Oregon, Eugene, Oregon, Philadelphia, PA, in October. Houston, Texas, and Tacoma, Washington, and in November. Salt Lake City. And don't forget the special. If you buy a ticket and go in Edmonton, I buy you your free ticket in Salt Lake City. Edinburgh. Right. Look out Europe. I'm adding new dates. Rick Glassman.com. Sign up for my email list at Rick Glassman.com/chorp. If I'm coming within 50 miles of your city. By the way, I saw when a Ricky show recently, it was unbelievable. Very funny. Go out there. See Ricky. Buy some merch. Do it. You won't be disappointed. He's the best. As a matter of fact, I have another live testament right here. The lovely Mrs. Glassman. Hi. Remember we saw Ricky at a show recently? Yes, it was one of the best shows I've ever seen. How good was it? It was one of the best shows I've ever seen. And I'm Grandma. It's a very best show I've ever seen. Grandma never came to a show because I'm not like Matt, I don't play sports. You never love me because I don't play sorry, Grandma, that I didn't play sports and I played Magic the Gathering. Sorry, I wasn't cool enough for you, Grandma. That's not right. Ricky. Yeah, but the guy who played all the sports is he buying you soap. He buying you a new mattress. Go to helixleap.com to get one of those mattresses. By the way, I got a good deal. Go for gusto. They and I saw a show too much to go in Cleveland. The best. That's show to larities. Yeah. All right. Actually, Grandma just doesn't like, um, scat humor. That's really the reason. Well, you know what I say to that, everyone, one, two, three, four, come on. Let's poop our grandma. We poop down grandma. Hey, let's poop on her. So that if your grandma's been covered in shit right now, grandma's gonna come and fucking shit. She, you got hates this right now. She's laughing. You guys, she's laughing. It ain't real. She hates this. You think that's not a real laugh? Well, I think that was a, she wants to hit you laugh. No, you don't know what, let's all shit on my back. Do you work for the whole show? This one or the one I had, I worked for two years. The two-pack. You know what came about? I lost three rolls that I wanted because the producer said he just looked so much like he did on Seinfeld. You know what? That's what stop it.
That's what's stopping you that I look like we're in a business where prosthetics and makeup and so I went okay I'm going to put on hair for a little while just so people will go. Oh it doesn't have to look like George And after two years nothing changed except I had like a schmuck walked around And by the way I finally saw a shirt with him in it and he goes I don't want to look like I don't sign for it I go you need to look like you did on time for what do you now you decide that? I need to look like Simon I love this, but it's warm. It's very warm. You know what I was actually thinking I know we just we're getting started now But yeah, I was gonna lower the AC a point. How do you feel about? Oh? No, I'm a sort of oh you like cold. I love cold I hate hot man. You like hot you like it? No, no, I get some guests. I don't get to go. It's a little cold now listen You know, I'm a sort of like make mugs What was this designed to hold? This is my mom drinks out of mugs that big and I don't like them But that one's at Ohio and it's fun When your older saves you from getting up to a half done this older people have a big mug in your hand No, not from the bottom like a handle like a normal person Now what am I at the gym? You're building up your Creepers creepers. You're talking to building court. Wow If I threw something this heavy my wife would throw it out. I have to all day long. It's this. What are your pants? Why are you always wearing it? It's this criticism that we we've only met once But there's a certain type of Jew that I feel like I grew up with you guys Well, I'll I own Jersey very clearly. Oh Jersey and Ohio. Let me look lower the triangle Yeah, forget talking. What's lower the AC Arctic? Thank you for adding to see a lot of people say Arctic Arctic Arctic the Arctic Ocean It's also February. We used to stay up and we didn't need your dad to keep ourselves saying we used to stay up there After this show the writers would go nuts and we have to take a break and we would think of English words that sound like it is Arctic spatula Batch for fetched for fetched. For fetched. Yes. Yeah, if you say it fast Arctic Arctic doesn't sound the other's Arctic. Oh, I yeah, see what I say it right. You got to say it right It's a little bit of cheating a little bit of cheating on you say a bishop Arctic. Arctic. It's like he said Arctic sounds like it I worked on major dad and to keep ourselves sane whenever we had a break we would figure out what Regular words new sounded like it is. And you did that with the other Arctic. The other Jewish writers and major dad. No, no other I'm being earned a gentleman thing I have to do. I used to hang it. I did it. And he would laugh. He would just laugh Oh you Jewish boy fan fan. Yeah, you don't know by the way, I think this is I think this is our show. You know, you know, I feel like like we're in drooping on something like he's doing his taxes and he's got a pause and he's getting ready to tour Oh, there you go. Who's here? Who's here? Oh, oh, no, no, that's it shows. Oh, no I found a little injured squirrel. It's a very sweet story. He's doing okay But when I brought him to a place I found a dog. It wasn't this dog But ultimately led me to this dog and I and I'm like the squirrel brought me to this dog I wanted to name him after a squirrel. Sure. What do I have Rocky? You know, yeah, so you want with chipmunks. He's so little. It's chipmunk is a little squirrel. Sure. Did you mention rocking on purpose? Oh, I forgot it was down to you and and um, what's his name? Uh, what's the actor's name who played Apollo? He was an incredible Michael the Robert De Niro par with us. Yes Rocky was an Rocky and boy Michael with the Robert De Niro. Come on. Oh, that's the Rocky I didn't know that I don't even know what it's been of Oh my god, I've seen that in such a long time. What? Yes, then why'd you even have to wear the wig? There you go. I should have what is that my boss plan? Oh, that's oh look at that. Oh, no, you as Boris mountainoff. No, you don't need to pull that up It's okay. I remember what I looked like. I got it. I'm good Boys. Hi, Rick. Should we get started? Sure. I thought we were nearly I have way more than where I decorated sock But you made it very clear that my socks would be prominent. Mm-hmm. What do you normally do? I normally have a monotone sock with no articulation. Is that not a monotone sock? Don't you see the decorative stripe? No, what do you know? It looks more like you had ankle surgery Put your decorative stripe. All right. Yeah, that makes a gamble. I get really pumped with that It's a nice thing. So the nice thing was you said we're clean socks because you've had guests that Yeah, and it's embarrassing so I didn't even wear white. I just work. Yeah, we're gray. You know, I mean just to have a gray By the way, would you do me? Only if you agree. I don't want to coerce you My partner Things he's Johnny Cash. He only wears black track outfits. I don't think black is actually a good color And I don't think he's rocking the track outfit. He's obsessed agree or disagree then go with your gut Wouldn't the color be nice on him? Yes, I think a color would be nice on him No, I don't think black doesn't work with him, especially with his energy and glasses. Thank you I don't know about exclusively that I've been with him for 30 years and I'm tired and so have gotten him any nice colorful clothing That's expensive. I have I bought him a what color blue would you call that leather jacket that I got It's like a sky blue, right? No or an ocean blue. No turquoise. Yeah. What would you call it? I'm a bruise bruising The kind of blue you get when you get a bruise. I got of a beautiful leather jacket Never wears it. Hey leather jackets are done. It's a 142 degrees. Oh Oh, I'm glad I spent $2,000 on the jacket you didn't spend $2,000 and you bought it tell him a story about how much tell him a story about it I bought it in a short and fat shop I go into this store with him Look at the wall like in every picture on the one you know you see picture in Hollywood and it's like Liam Neeson This was a wall of everybody who's a jocky It's jocky. It's jocky. It's jocky. They need to be those the tallest and then you got a wall. It's jocky And I'm looking around the store and he brings out a Jason special order He brings up thing to try on and I didn't realize it got next to me It's like it's excuse me so I kept bumping in the people because they were like great penal height It's but you're not uh, I know but Jason might want to say short person but you like to be called Sure, I think today you're okay saying short person. Yeah, you're not a short person So how why would it how did it figure? Because I want to date he made me because they ordered it special If it I can try to talk to the guy that would look good on me I went that happens a little good on you if that was your size that looks good I knew they ordered them but honestly it's all jocky right? It's jocky. Yeah, we jockey by the way You know that I was actually missed I was mistaken for Danny DeVito on the back a lot of universal studios Tram went by I'm walking to a meeting and I hear a tram right ago. Hey everybody. It's not every day. We see a big star here on our back lot Get your cameras out get ready everybody will give a big wave to Danny DeVito and it went right by me and I went Fuck it. I'm just waiting back By the way, of course people like I am just like heaven right now Yeah, he loves the dog I was never allowed to have a dog growing up Me either so as an adult man. This is it. This is like the best thing. Why would you go right around go to the center? You got to see a closer and turn away from him. I work in the theater. Look at this. I project Um, I wasn't allowed to have a dog because I was as a child. I had horrible allergies and dogs were on the list You technically now here's the thing I move it so when I no no no no so when they skin tested me when I was a kid, you know Um, I had a huge reaction to dogs a very small reaction to cats And I went no and I reversed it. So I have a major reaction to cats. I had a dog so dogs are nothing So just to be clear you're allergic to dogs I'm technically allergic to dogs cats horses. I I was cast in the movie city slickers. I couldn't do it Who were you? I think I was supposed to be uh josh mustells character. I think that was the one I was casting You were cast as it and then you had to back out because you're allergic to horses. Correct I went to my owl just and went you can get me through it right? And he went when your agent said do you want to do it? Did you say nay? Skip Wow, if I hadn't heard that before you have that would have your poshers lean back. Do you mind? Would you get it up a little bit? That's good. That was good. Wow. Okay. Saddle me. Can you do one more? Whoa But it was a nightmare and I'm stir up from what you said. Sorry about sorry about where you think it would have been a little bit of a hoof. Yeah, would have been a nightmare Is that a pun nightmare? There's nightmare of the horse. No mayor is a horse. Oh Well, because there's a magic the gathering called magic the gathering card. It's a it's a card game. I play yeah called nightmare And it is a it's a it's a black horse with flames coming off it. Yeah. What do you play with? Is this an online thing? Just really cool popular people Well, actually you can't play online, but really popular people are at home to stay. Yeah, my son Noah, please. Okay. All right. I don't judge. So go ahead and disparage. Go ahead Because you think Noah's a little fucking nerd. Is that what you're saying? He does actually. I don't know what used to be our announcer But then we changed the format. I don't know. I had to fire my kid My partner. I think he grew And I think he grew from that. I haven't grown He was just talking about that. That's why I shop in a small invention. I noticed that you guys are friends But you bust balls. It's kind of like your rubber and he's glue filly jersey. What else if we got That's
I have to tell you, no, this is very serious 'cause you were, you said some beautiful things on our show. So I will tell you very seriously. I never thought I was a funny person. I didn't think of myself as everybody. And when the impression of me was, 'cause I was working for people who would write, when it was anticipated that I was funny and I thought, oh, I should try and be funny. My default was that Jersey sense of humor of ball busting, like the Joe Pesci say. And so I do it, and I always do it going, oh my God, I hope I'm not affecting him, I hope I'm, it makes me, whoever I'm doing it to. Because you start doing that, and especially if you're not a trained comedian, you go, I don't even know where the line is. I hope I don't cross it. Is this a four-sign felt? Yes, but certainly it ramped up during sign felt because again, the impression was, oh, he's funny. You don't want to stand up type stuff since, like the corporate show, everything? It's written, it's all written, I'm not. Wait, you do stand up and then other people write? I don't, he wrote, we wrote. But we did a thing, so we had a TV show that didn't last very long called Bob Patterson. It was Peter's idea about a sort of Tony Robbins. Not Tony Robbins, Tony Robbins, thank you. Motivator who you worked with once. I did, and who couldn't motivate his own family. Shallow hell, right, he knows, the man knows. And we loved it, and we, when we were pushing the show, whenever we were doing small interviews or whatever, they would say, can you do like an exercise, a seminar exercise, and that became really fun. So when the show died, we did a corporate show where I play the character named Donnie Clay. Donnie Clay shows you the way. America's fourth leading motivational group. And we, it was basically a stand-up show in the guise of a motivational seminar. And we did that for many years, until 2008, 2009, when the corporate world went bust. - What happened in 2008? - It was a big crash, right, remember? And so we took a lot of that material and transformed it into stand-up that I could do. And I did that for a couple of years. So I've technically done stand-up, but I'm not a stand-up. - The corporate show was not a TV show, but it wasn't about corporate. - The corporate show was like, you really toured during corporate-- - A corporation would hire us, and what we do is the first 45 minutes was standard. And then I'd find out deep. I wanted another culture of this. What does your CEO wear? What pisses you all away? Stuff that's really deep in the culture. In the last 15 minutes, Jason would hit the 45 or 50 mark and go, you know what? I've not spent a lot of time with you people, and I realize something, I don't like you people. And then we'd go-- - You've got problems. - Specifically-- - You've got problems. And I'm here to go after those people, then with their culture, and they would go nuts, 'cause it's about them. And then we'd have them stand up and wave their hands and sing, I believe I can fly. It was great. It was great. - We talked about how to make more money. I, Donnie Clay had a great-- My favorite bet about I can increase your income. Today, 10%, 20%, 50%, maybe a hundred percent, I can increase your income, guaranteed. And it's not a program. Excuse me, not a program, it's not a book. You don't have to read it, you don't have to memorize it. There are no exercises. Four words. In four words. - But guaranteed. - You seem skeptical. - I increase your income. At least 10%, 25%, 50%, maybe a hundred percent, and I work them up into a friend's hand. I go, "You want to hear it?" You know what kind of money you want? If I may, you want fuck you money. That's what you want. So when I ask you what kind of money you want, what do you say? "Fuck you." "Fuck you." Right, fuck. And I go, "Okay, when I say it, it's cute." When you say it, it's got an edge. And at the end, we'd have a guy out of go. Here we go, write it down. Here we go, get your pencils out. Here are the four words. Get a second job. Good night. - And as stupid as that was, people would come up to us after the show and go, "You know, you're not wrong." (laughing) - Why'd you stop doing it? - Again, well, the corporate world couldn't afford us. - Still? Or you don't want to do it anymore? - I don't want to go back. - You see, you love doing stand-up. I don't love doing it. I don't love being backstage, going, "It's me." - Ricky's on the loose tour, ricklastwin.com. See when I'm coming to you. - There you go. - Coming soon. - We did Vegas too, and it was not fun. - I didn't have this fun for a short period of time. - Can I get you something, by the way? I'm sure that's happened. - Why? - 'Cause I have a thing. - Yeah, I'm fine with it, but. - It's not the dog. - No, it's our fine Los Angeles air. - I got the air purifier on. - And the fact that I didn't take another product shouldn't advertise on our show. - Musin X. - I got Musin X. - Do you want a Musin X? - Oh, no. - Who's coming? - Miranda, come here for a sec. - Oh, 'cause my cousin's helping me with something. - A hidden person. - Really, wasn't that Miranda? - Yeah, there's two Miranda's. - Can I get you Musin X? - No, I'm chances. - Thank you. - For real? - There's two Miranda's in your life? - Two Miranda's. - Yeah. - Wow, that's, I got Musin X. - And I'm not drowsy. - You seem dedicated. Sure, give me a Musin X. Give me three. - No, just one Musin X, sure. - By the end of the podcast, I should be fine. (laughing) - Thank you very, very much. - I'm Miranda, I'm Miranda number two. - Oh, oh, good, good. - Nice to see you. - Nice to see you too. - Oh, is it that? - Have Miranda, have you met Miranda? - No, if you're Miranda, meet Miranda, I'm gonna get a Musin X. - Oh, I'm gonna get a Musin X. - Look at how sweet. - Is anyone a Musin X just one? - Just one. - Peter, you don't want a Musin X? - I don't feel competitive. (laughing) - How are you guys doing? You have to show so far. - Oh, have we? - I don't know. - Has it finished? - It's the best show that he's ever done. - I don't doubt it. - Possibly, possibly now or in the future. I really do. - Can I tell you something? - He's been out of the room more than he's been in the room. - Well, I don't like that. - As far as I think it's been in the face. I had to take off my shoes, and I wore a decorative sock that went unnoticed. - Wow, look at that. - Did you notice the decorative sock? - The way you had to spread out. Pick a Musin X. - By the way, I don't know of Musin X with drowsy. You made the thing about non drowsy. What's night time cold and fearsome? - Oh, no. God, Musin X, this is just a plain old Musin X. - Oh. - 12 hour or 24? - 12 hour. - Thank you, sir. - Bless you. - Oh, sorry. - I just want to introduce you to my cousin Moran. - Sorry. - Well, I don't think we talked about it when I was on your podcast. - I could sing again. You look-- - Who wants to talk about it? - How won't you talk about it? How won't you talk about it? - Holy shit. You look incredible. - Everyone is-- - I've seen Alan Zings that-- - Everyone in my family is a huge fan of shallow-hal. - shallow-hal. - And you just wanted-- I just wanted to introduce you to my cousin Moran. Because of Miranda, who's helping me out today. - I'm Miranda. - I'm a super fan. - Oh. - What's your favorite line? - Hmm, it's a really good, good question. I think the end when he realizes that she actually is large and he's like, "I love you anyway." - Sure. Yeah, and I love that you had a tail, dude. - A tail, the curl. - Which showed up, by the way, not in the script. - Oh, you just came up on set with it? - I didn't come up with anything. The Peter Farley called me at the hotel one night and said, "Are you in for the night?" I went, "I am." He said, "I got a guy coming over to take a mold of your ass." And I said, "Sure." How will the-- He said, "We stumbled onto something." And they had found out about this. Apparently this is like one in every 8,000 people have a little extra-- - I have a little bit. - But not that long, but I have a little bit. - I have a little bit. - And he said, "We're gonna do a thing. We're gonna do a thing." And I went, "Okay." And then it showed up on that day of shooting. I put on the latex tail and-- - How do you make it move? - There's a spring inside like piano wire that went up my pant leg connected into the prosthetic and a guy off camera with a lever going, so you were the thing coming down your pant leg, like running out, "Wow." - Do you ever heard of this? - It's a tail as well. - I didn't hear this, and I never asked about the tail. And the guy would just move it when you weren't. Not when I wanted, when he wanted. And did you ever say, "Wait a bit. It's funnier if you're a whole lot funnier." - Alright, we're gonna do it. - Okay. - It's a pleasure to meet you. - So nice to meet you, too. - Thank you very much for doing it. - That's it. Go for the gusto. - Go for the gusto. - Try
[email protected]/tiso. - Get three months-- - No, what are you guys doing? - We were for his payroll. - We're repeating that. - No, we did that. Talk about gusto and how much you love payroll help. - Yes. - This is Uncle Bob. I love gusto for one reason. I, it, okay. - Yeah, cut that. - Alright, John Michael, let's try it again. - Yeah. - Alright, Uncle Bob, why do you like go for the gusto? - I love gusto for one reason. I've implemented HR tax payroll software, and the problem is taking what you have and making it better. What gusto does is provide you the training, the survey elements to take what you have and make it into something better. They give you-- - The survey elements are important. - No, they're huge. Like when you had your phone system, they didn't do anything and you had a phone system. - Take care of my gusto. - No, you have to do a survey with what you currently have to move to something new. Gusto gives you what's called technical documentation to do that. So when you install it, it works and they have live support while you're changing over to the new sort. - Yes, live support. You can talk to a human being. And after that, of course it's not gonna go perfectly. So you have 30 days to talk to live support and make it work. This is what separates the gusto. It's the gusto difference. - Go for the frickin' gusto. Gosto is online payroll and benefit software built in.
for small businesses. It's all in one remote friendly and incredibly easy to use so you can pay higher on board and support your team from anywhere, anywhere, anywhere, I run a few payrolls in my life too, but you've run a lot of payrolls, haven't you, Robert? >> Yes, and I've tried two or three different softwares that were forced upon me. They didn't work well because they didn't give me any way to take what I had. >> Couldn't serve any elements. >> No, I couldn't do what I had and transfer it into something that is workable and better. That's the whole point. Why switch softwares if not what you're moving to isn't going to be better than what you have, and that's what Gusto does. >> Save time with built-in automatic tools, offer letters, onboarding documents, direct deposits, and more. It's ranked number one on G2's highest satisfaction products list for 2026 and trusted by over 400,000 small businesses. >> Folks, everything that Gusto does for you, how can you not feel the passion of this man? >> Try Gusto today at gusto.com/tyso. >> That's three months free payroll with gusto.com/tyso one more time. >> Gusto.com/tyso. Go for the gusto. >> You know, lately I felt really bad because when I'm in the sun and I'm from behind, I feel it on the back of my head where I felt hair before. Now I feel horrible because I don't have a lot of hair. I want more hair. >> Well, Uncle Bob, you have one of two options. You could either go to hymns.com/tyso or you could snap. I'd rather go to hymns.com/tyso. >> Yeah, but holy shit, look at my hair. >> hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including choose oral medication, serums, and sprays. What do you think about that, Uncle Bob? >> It's tremendous. Wonderful. >> hymns, hers. >> hymns. >> Hair. >> Find the right hair regrowth treatment for you with flexible subscription options, access to 24/7 provider support, and once a day treatment options it fit your daily routine. >> It's straightforward, transparent, and designed to make hair look good. >> To make getting care feel easy. For simple online access to personalized and affordable care for hair loss, weight loss, and more visit hymns.com/tyso. >> That's hymns.com/tyso for your free online visit. >> hymns.com/tyso feature products include compound drug products, which the FDA does not prove or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality prescription required. Individual results may vary. See website for full details, restrictions, and important. >> Safety information. This episode is sponsored by Helix Sleep. >> Let me tell you about Helix Sleep, okay? We do a lot of commercials here, a lot of great companies, but very few of them am I a user of, and I'm a user of Helix Sleep. I use Helix Sleep, and I sleep like a fricking baby. >> You know, Elstus and Lauren? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You use as a Helix, absolutely. >> Well, Grandma, I'll tell you, there's one thing I would tell you to sleep on, and there's one thing I would tell you not to sleep on. Could you guess? I'll tell you. I would sleep on a Helix mattress. In fact, I often do. I wouldn't sleep on this deal. Helix will deliver right to your door. If you don't like it, you have 100-day money back guarantee. >> Great transition. >> I keep saying this. Get a mattress. Use it for 90 days. Send it back. It'll help the podcast out, and it'll help your lower back. If you're a side sleeper, a back sleeper, you're a hot-sleeper. >> A hot-sleeper. >> A hot-sleeper. >> A hot-sleeper.
never ghosted. Then you raised him right. Well, I would like to believe it. I think he's a lovely man. Yeah, it sounds like it because you'd be shocked by how many men these days like just think it's okay to just, yeah, let's go out on Saturday. Okay, great. What time? Then nothing for the rest of your life. Wow. I know. Wow. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm just right around the corner. I met my wife this year. Next year, we will be married 45 years. Wow. So when I tell you, I know nothing of what you are experiencing. Consider yourself lucky. Except, isn't that important? Peter doesn't have to be on the internet. No, it's a life field. It was a joke. It's a minefield out there. Trust me. So just count yourselves. Well, lucky. Boy, how do I do this without seeming creepy? My son means tell me that their generation is learning about sex from porn. Jason Jason, weird. What are you doing? No, no, I understand the point. The point is that a lot of younger men are getting like wrong information or wrong understandings. Do you find that that's anecdotal? Not with my generation. Maybe like Gen Z, but you're slightly younger. I don't know. Moran number two. Are you Gen Z? No, we're definitely getting fucked by porn for sure. Gen Z isn't having sex at all. Well, a lot of them are not. We're not. Why? You never, because the social skills you were all in COVID during your form. You don't want to get pregnant. You know that there's things you can do. Yeah. All right. That's my great. Thank you. Good luck with your endeavours. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. You got to be careful and don't take it right to porn all the time. She's I know. I know. God. I didn't stop. Anyway, my fun fact that I was going to say before we're coming into a dating a podcast is that Seinfeld premiered on the very day I was born. No. I love that fact about myself. What there was the life of 1989. The first episode of Seinfeld premiered. That's crazy. I know. The pilot episode. The pilot. The very. It's very possible. Because my now memory is a weird thing. So I can't remember what's true or not. Of course. But my remembrance was we did the pilot and NBC said thank you, but no. And then they threw it on. threw it on to fill an empty slot. And the TV guide critic wrote a love letter to it. And that made them start to reconsider it. But I wonder if that first episode you're talking about was after that or was that half hour that they threw it? I don't know. All I know is that my mom would say that she was up all night with a new baby couldn't sleep started watching this show. And was like, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen called her parents, my grandparents in Cleveland and told them they had to watch it. And then they told all their Jewish friends to watch it. And then yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome. Why just why just the Jewish that is all they knew in Cleveland. The pilot. I just yeah. Take where you get. You know, you have to start somewhere. Right. Take her exactly. All right. So nice to meet you guys. Thanks Miranda. Thank you for your good luck with everything. Thank you. I didn't know that. Good luck to watch off of your career and Miranda were born on the same day. If I could say that he was posted by the way, my career was in fine shit. Well, let me just tell you, you never already had Tony a wood with him. You never did any shows before Seinfeld. That's right. That kept you from other shows because you looked too much like the guy from that show. True. That. Thank you. What was the ER? When did you do ER? We're George Clooney, 1984. 84? And that was just how many? One episode or no? They did a full season. I did nine episodes. You did not have a contact. You did not. You were a ER reacher. You originally are not the good. The wrong one. The funny. The common one that wanted to be funny. There was a different ER. Yeah. It was an ER in 1984 based on a play. I also called ER. It started Elliott Gould, Mary McDonnell, George Clooney, Concata Farrell. I'm trying to remember anybody else of particular note. And I was brought on for one episode and they liked the character enough that I stayed for nine. And then it got canceled. What character? What was the character? I played, I came out with a character's name, but he was the he was the villain of the piece. He was the hospital administrator. Well, and what you did was that after pretty woman? No, no, pretty woman was 90. He played a villain already. When it was pretty common. I was the schmucky villain. What year did a pretty woman come out? I think it came out in 90, I think, 80, 90, 90. When did pretty woman come out? He just told you. That's what it should say. He just said to you. March 90. 90, you know. Wow. There you go. What's your favorite thing that he that he was an actor in? As a fan, not a friend. You know what? I got to say it. I like him a lot of stuff. He doesn't know most of my work, but I got to go right to the net. You're such a love, valent. No, I got to tell you, I got to see sign from only because one of the funniest things. I love comedy. I love the history of comedy. I love the origins and stuff. Him screwing the maid and the scene sitting there when the guy says George has come to our attention, picture in picture, that you've had having sex with the maid on the desk of your watching Jace, because I know Jason so well. I mean every every reaction with the fact that he took that long and you can see in his you can read in his eyes. He's going through a menu of things to try and figure out how to save his ass. I'm laughing already before he opens her mouth, his mouth, and then to come out with after all of that. Is that wrong? Should I not have done that? And then you go because because I've worked in a lot of offices and I got I got to tell you that kind of thing goes on all the time. If I if anyone had said anything to me when I started here, that personifies to me the whole George character that he knows he's wrong. He's hiding the way that he's wrong and yet he's going to go for it anyway and see if he can talk his way out of it and he never can't. So that I think that's my favorite. It actually it's funny. It's when people say they have a favorite episode. I don't. But that may have been my favorite moment because it's it's kind of the episode where I went. I think I now understand this character a little bit. I think I can get behind the way he thinks. As an actor, you find that best case scenario when everything that you do that normally doesn't happen day one. Right. Could you talk to me about that? Is that is that a specific enough question? I could be more specific, but I feel like this is well, if you know everything, first of all, in a sitcom, you have how much information do you have? People will come up to me and go, oh my god, you know, when we saw your parents, we understood how you created that character. And I went, really? Because they showed up in season three. But when you don't have the information like you're talking about, you have more availability to create it. Absolutely. But when you do have the information, it's kind of rules that you have to abide by. Right. It gives you guidelines to create. So when you're in every case, you are trying to follow a blueprint that a writer and/or director or both are setting up for how we're going to tell a story. Now, the great thing about Seinfeld was the two guys creating the story were always right there to guide us. So even though we didn't have, I didn't know what Frank Costanza was going to be, I didn't know what the style was going to be. All, you know, history things that can feed to, oh, that's how the character must think because of this thing. You don't have that, but you have Larry David. Here's how I learned a lot from Larry. So there was an early episode where George thought he was having a hard attack. And I go, the actor in me goes, well, I know he's a hypercontract, hypercontracts. They look up what symptoms from things. I mean, they know. So if he thought he was having a hard attack, he would know where he's feeling it down the arm and the chest was short of breathing, sweating. So we get into rehearsal and I go to actor Jason starts doing the signs of a heart attack. And Larry goes, can't, you can't do it like that. And I go, but that's what it is. He goes, I know, but you're having a heart attack. I go, but he thinks he's having a heart attack. He's not, he would know when he went, he goes, you have to have a funny heart attack. That's not a funny heart attack. And for a minute, I, you know, sort of got on my, on my high heel and then went, what, what are you talking about? I'm not, I'm not performing seal. This is what, and then I went, he's right. You got to have a funny heart attack. And, and that, that little creature that sits on your shoulder and goes, yeah, it's a good choice. Is it a funny choice? That really started to be a companion because I was standing there with Jerry and Larry and, and, and Julia and Michael and a lot of funny people who I think understood that voice, that element much more clearly than I did. And I, and I started learning. I want to ask a couple of specific questions that I might interrupt a couple times. I'll keep this to a couple of minutes. You said it's a good choice, but is it a funny choice? Right. First part is, if it is a good choice, and I understand why it is, because it's honest and it's realistic, how do you define what a good choice is though? Not that it's, not that it has to be mutually exclusive from funny. It could be together, but just what funny or not, what makes a good choice? Well, I, you know, so I've been teaching actors now for about 30 years. If you could ask me 30 years, I gotta give you a different answer and probably not a clear one. To me, what it is now is, everything I know about this story, everything I know about the intended purpose of this story. Am I in line with that?
And now the answer becomes, am I giving, if you're my scene partner, am I giving you an opportunity with the choice I make? - Give me an example. - Let's say I have a monologue of the famous one we talked about before. - See, it was angry that day, right, right? So, I got all the lines, but these guys are sitting there in the scene. So, 30 years ago, I would go, oh, it's my scene, I got to do it. And I go, now I go, no, no, no. It's their scene. Whatever I choose has got to make them engage in a way that they are not scripted to do. They have no lines. All they know is they got to sit there until I get through this thing. So, what can I give them that will offer them a possibility of a reaction or an impulse or a participation that isn't on the page? And if I can do that while staying in the intention of what the scene or the story is about, that to me is a superior choice. It's one where I create an opportunity. - So, when you're making choices, you're thinking about first, be aligned with what I'm, what I'm my job right now. And then it's, I need to give the receiver or receivers something to respond to. And if I, but that's up to them, true. But if I don't offer it, they have no opportunity. Now, I'm not saying they wouldn't respond, they're all good, they would respond. But to be in collaboration in a scene where all the scripted material as mine means it's even more important that I try to create an opportunity for them. Otherwise, when I teach it, I go, why would you go through a two-page monologue to get to? So, will you do that for me, Jeffrey? Why wouldn't you just do? So, would you do that for me, Jeffrey? - Oh, remember we talked about this on yours. So, basically during that, that minute or two, you're not asking, you're not, what you are doing is that question, would you do this for me? If your character has to feel like, if you ask that question, you're not gonna get the answer you want. - Correct. - So, this page or two is specifically about selling to get them to be persuaded for this. - Correct. - Correct. That's right. Now, it's a good choice, but it's a funny choice. This is very different, depending on the tone of the project. However, I am a subscriber, not for right or wrong, but I am a subscriber too. If it doesn't, cannibalize the rules of the physics that we establish in this world. Funny is king. It's different from TV and movies and what you're doing, but you beforehand, it's not a funny heart attack. And beforehand, I don't mean that moment, but I mean you as an actor, then versus after that, where have you now landed, where? Yeah, but it's funny, so do it. - Well, there's never, honestly, I don't try me on this. I don't ever think there's a definitive reason to not consider the funny possibility. Even in the most, you know, austere drama, your foolish as an actor to not go, is there a possibility for something human and humorous in this moment? Because in life, some of our most dramatic moments have some ridiculous elements. - But Jay, there's nothing worse than watching your show where the characters are blowing lines. They're just blowing comedy lines that feel like, is that really, would the character really, is that how we talk? - Right. - You know, regular day, you're funny. I'm funny. - What do you mean by blowing them? - They're just doing lines. It's like the kid, the wisecracking kid. I've never been around that kid. I've never been the parents that goes, well, if you know, we replenish the chips, you know, people just don't do that. - We replenish now. - Oh fuck, I'm talking to anything, I'm talking to replenish. - When it doesn't feel real, it takes you out of the moment. If it feels like the character's funny and you've established that the character's witty and funny and smart, and that's how they navigate life. Either as a defense mechanism or as a deerment because they need people's love, whatever, then it feels valid on authentic. When it doesn't feel authentic, is when it's bad. - But that's like the performance, you're talking about the line itself. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you've seen it where they write for a character and all of a sudden they're doing stick and you go, what, does that, that came out of nowhere. The person's not like that. - Unless they are, I mean, I don't want to talk too, I mean, I do, but I won't talk too much about the show. But like, that's all stick, is it not? I don't mean it's just stick, sign felt. Also, by the way, before I hand the microphone over, I think the term stick has very bad PR. - Yes. - I love stick. It's when stick is done for the purpose of stick. - Right. - But to have it is-- - Let's see, that's the whole tradition to me of stick. Stick, there's comedy and then there's stick. Stick is lazy, I was using it as a lazy term. - Okay. - See, and I use stick almost like actors will use the term mugging. And for me, the definition of mugging is, I'm playing a scene with Peter, but I do something that if Peter saw it, he'd call it, he'd call it out. I'd do it for the audience. So it's almost like a wink. And stick can sometimes be a wink. It's, and that's why it can-- - Yeah, okay. - It can be thought of as cheap sometimes. - I understand that, I think of it a little bit differently. I understand, George does this all the time, right? To me, that's part of the stick. - Chef feels like him. - Yeah, but that feels like it's harder. - I would say, yes, a bag, so I often think that comedic actors have a bag of tricks. And that bag of tricks is, you can call it stick. George had a couple of them. That was one, another one was-- (laughing) And that's Jackie Gleason, that's just Jackie Gleason. - Wow. - But they were famous. - This is wild, man. Sometimes I have somebody on the couch and it was like, oh, right. - And Larry David has one. And in fact, one of Larry David's sticks was the one that made me go, ah, when I realized that George was an avatar of Larry, the one that he does all the time that I went, okay, now I know how to do George, is when somebody says something to him and he goes, that which led on curb to pretty good, right? That is a Larry David's stick. Did it come out of a real thing? - Yes, it did. - But he knows now, the reason it's stick is it's reliable. It's like a catch phrase for a character. It's a thing that an audience goes, as long as you don't overuse it. Oh, boy, we were there when we got to see that one again. He, you know, it becomes-- - Can I ask you both then what you feel about all of those shows, the office, all of those shows that somehow are family, where there's somehow a crew around. - Pandemic. - And scenes do this. It's like, yeah, but mother, you didn't do it. And you write to the camera, the button for the scene is not a joke. It's not, it's the look to the camera. It's a soap opera scene out there. You always say, what are you thinking about those soap opera scenes when they're lingering on a person and you said the trick is? - I didn't say it, a director said it. He said, no matter what the last line of the soap opera scene is, as the camera does the slow push in, very realistically, but very clearly just play. Who farted? I've heard this before. Did I hear this from you? - Maybe. - Maybe. - But it's great your work. - And it works perfectly. Say anything to me is the final line of a scene. - I guess that's the, guess that's the machine. - Yeah, good. That's what you have to do. And it works for any, it works for anyone. - The player Nostril is a little big, but other than that. - Nostril is a little big. - And it landed on the moon. - Yeah, I bring a hand in on the moon. - You got to commit. - You got to. - Can I ask him a question? Do I've never asked him before? Cause it's fascinating. - You're hearing this. - You're hearing it. - I'm normally cause it's related to this. - Oh, I love you guys so much. - You know, you had friends was one of the biggest hits. And then you find out later on that Matthew Perry was in pain a lot of the time. Because of the competitive nature there. You wanted to kill. I never asked you that. Your new cast member on a new show with people you don't know. Did you get comfortable right away and take risks or were you that was a competitive question? - So I will admit this because I've admitted it before. Julia was not in the pilot. So it was basically three guys. And- - She's a network note. - She has a network note. And Kramer was really written to be a one-scene per show. So it's kind of a two-hander show when I take it. And now they hire Julia. And I go, so is she his girlfriend? And they go, no, ex-girlfriend. I go, so friend. They go, yeah, I go. Well, that's what you hired me to be. I don't understand the difference between. So initially, I was kind of like, I think my contribution to the show just got cut in half. That was my concern, right? So for like an episode or two, as I got to be on the set and see what they were gonna write and see what Julia was gonna do. And yeah, I was like, I think I just lost one testicle. And then, but what was the magic of our show, I think, for me was, 'cause we were not a hit. We were hanging on by fingernails. So the. most actors in that situation would go, well, this isn't going to last long. So let me get some good tape out of this. So I can use it to get my next gig. So you'd kind of want to grab all the material you could, but for whatever reason, as we were standing on that set. - Wait, what do you mean grab all the material you could? - You'd want to, you'd say, right for me, let me showcase something. So that literally-- - How do you have any control of that? - By asking for more material, by making different kinds of choices in a scene, but we very quickly kind of loved watching each other work. I mean, we would always go, Michael would kind of rehearse on a corner somewhere. You know, we never knew what Michael was going to do. - Was that because that's where he got, or he was able to find it? Or is that because he wanted to keep it from you, so that you saw it for the first time? - You have to ask him, it could be both. But he'd be three sets over. You know, as we're rehearsing a scene, he's not in and you just be here. - Yeah! - And you go, "Why does he do it, Michael?" He'd come in and we'd always be kind of on our heels in the right way, as you would be, Robert Graham. And Julia would, you know, find these little moments and these little things and listen, I love Julia. I just, I was charmed by her almost immediately. So instead of going, I want to be protective of my material. There would be occasions where, honestly, either, she would say, I would say, somebody would say, you know, it's a good line for George, but it would actually be funnier coming from Elaine. And so we'd give away material or, you know, our first director, Tom Saronas, was a good camera director, but he wasn't really a staging director. And there is no, in many of the gerry apartment scenes, there's no implied behaviors. It's just people talking. And so we'd have to figure out, how do you use this apartment to create a life in here? And so we'd come up with things for each other, you know? We'd go, well, if you do that, and I do this, maybe this way. So that's what built the ensemble, but it also is an indication that whatever, you know, sort of juvenile fears I had of being usurped by the presence of another actor on our set, very quickly became, oh my God, it's so much fun to play with her, to play with them. And if the show works, it works. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. But it, so I think that was the-- Yeah, there was never really an idea of even when, you know, Michael and I were up for the same Emmy many years in a row. And I kept thinking, I can't compete with him, I can't. If I was up against guys like David Hyde, Pierce, who won it many times, and good actors, surely some swimmer or some of those guys. But all good actors. But I go, if you take our best scene from our best episode, that season, you got David Hyde, Pierce, funny scene. You got David Schwimmer, funny scene. You got me, funny scene. You got Michael, drinking an entire beer while smoking a cigarette and doing lines. And I go, how do you compete with that? How you actually did this, of course it did. How do you, I mean, how do you, he should win every year? I wanna show you something. You know? What do you think it'll be? I wonder if he's leaving, could he believe it? If I had a head shot for 15 years now? It's amazing, he had shot. Does it work? Can you tell me? You know, I gotta tell ya. Pretty close. Pretty close. Pretty, pretty. That's crazy. Have you, like hung out with Schwimmer? I don't know him. I have to imagine he's seen it because I put those up in delicate tessons around the, I guess the state. And I will constantly get tagged, people don't know who I am, but just tag like, who's Rick Glassman or whatever. I've got an arcs right now. It's not an arcs. But if you go to Sherman's and Palm Springs. I'm gonna arcs with him after he moved it up. Yeah. I'll ask them to put it up. Yeah, I gotta sign it. You gotta sign it. Yeah. I like your potato, potato's a lot 'cause I'd like to say. I like him a lot 'cause I don't remember what the joke is. I want one more question. I have one more question about you saying, your childlike insecurities of being outshined, which I think more so come from not how great a person is, but the projection of it makes you smaller, makes you less. And you said, I enjoyed watching there so much. I started to like it. I believe you and I think there's gotta be more to it than that because it can't just be this person so good. I'm happy 'cause if it was about them being good takes away from you, that would be the opposite. So there had to have been some type of conscious, not necessarily conscious, but it has been some type of confidence in, oh, this show is gonna last. So I want this person to score points so we continue. Like, do you remember what it was that made you feel? No, it wasn't, oh, this show's gonna last 'cause honestly, I think Jerry always had the confidence that the show was gonna work. I did not. I thought it was playing and I wasn't wrong actually. It was playing to a very niche audience. And unfortunately, it was a niche audience that every advertiser wanted, but that when we did the pilot and Jerry said, what do you think? And I said, I don't think it's gonna go. He said, you don't think it's good. I said, no, I do think it's good. That's your problem. I said, the show is designed to appeal to men between the ages of 21 and 35. And they don't watch such comms, Jerry. They're not watching, they're watching sports if they're watching TV, but they're not watching Alf, which was like the number one comedy. But the pilot said, there's nobody there. And I wasn't wrong. That was the demographic that our show appealed to most. The reason we never got canceled really is because advertisers wanted that audience. So we could get enough advertisers to back the show because they were willing to try and appeal to that audience. But I think what turned me around honestly, 'cause again, we're talking over 30 years ago. And I'm a, you know, I was a very immature guy in my 30s in many ways. But what I was able to pick up on is what I was talking about before. Julia's work made me better, 'cause it wasn't selfish work. It was her doing what she does so well, created all kinds of opportunities for everybody around her to participate in ways that weren't on the page. And vice versa, I hope. But I've had the biggest crush on her for well-placed. She's like when you think, like I also like my cousin, my partner doesn't have to be blonde in 63 and a guy. But I'm looking for my person. And there are some needs, one of which is funny. That's a dream. That's a dream. I mean, she's one of the funniest people in the world, but it doesn't have to be that funny. Not just because I'm crazy about her. She's one of the greatest people I've encountered in my career consistently. She is exactly what she seems to be. She's a guy's girl. She is tough, strong, funny, incredibly sensitive, a great friend, a great mother. I'm sure a great romantic partner. I mean, she and Brad have been together since they were in college. I know. And she and a good leader, when she's in the leadership, you know, plays her, I think some morality. It certainly line up with what I would like mine to be. So it's a well-placed crush, my friend. - I've met a fair amount of people that as I've been working this business where it's like, oh my gosh, I got to meet this person. It's cool. I got to work with people. That's usually where I meet him. One of my coolest Hollywood experiences wasn't even a job I got, but Alison Jones, who casting director, who's got me more jobs than any representation I've ever had, who has brought me in straight to the people. She brought, I got to do a scene with her. I didn't get it for V. But just doing a scene is one of those things like, it wasn't even a show I was in. It was just getting to do this. Dude, it's so cool. I want to ask about your relationship stuff. And first, let me say, how is everybody feeling pillow-wise, drink-wise? - I have to sit up straight. - I can't really see it. It's hard. Slouching, which is going to make my stomach look fatter. - You know, also. - Pillow pillow. Back pillow. - I don't need a pillow. I just need a tip. - This is a little bit, it makes you-- - Pull it. - It makes you slouch. - It does. - Yeah, that's what happened to me too. - All right. - You need a pillow. - Wonderful. Thank you. - What's on your phone? What was on your phone? - You want to know? - Yeah. - Laurie, our producer, saying, "Is Jeff Dunham bringing him one of his puppets?" - How would you know? - Minds off. - Minds off. - Minds off. - Oh, there you go. - Right, there we go. - When you have your phone off. - Minds off. - Right. - The tallest today. - Rick, when you're taping. - Yes. - Are there any numbers that do puppets-- - We've got a really, really, really patched. Oh, because I gave it to him. Yeah, that's wonderful. - Oh, that's so sweet. - But you have special rings that come through because they're that important. - I do have favorites, and it does-- - But an emergency number that comes-- - If I'm not mistaken, they call once, it doesn't ring, but if they call twice, those numbers do. - Yeah, I have three. 'Cause I never did that. - Oh, and do not disturb. - It'll ring through. - Okay, I guess who they are? - Sure. - Peter? - No. - Me? - Mm-hmm. - No. - Noah? - Yes. - All right, we'll leave it at that. - Yeah, very good. - And now I'm guilty. Should I have numbers like with my wife calls and my son? Should it-- - Yeah, I, you know, Peter, you do you. What can I say? - Okay. - Make sure you're successful. - If I were Tommy, I would like to think [BLANK_AUDIO]
So you're saying, "Do you, but now I will guilt you for the next 25 minutes." I mean, if you're asking, if you, for guidance, for, for marital guidance. Because now I'm just thinking here, it's how he was bleeding, and couldn't get you, and now I'm, I'm, I was doing, I was doing, I was, I was in a puzzle. It was a nice point, yes, it's a good point, yeah. So, and why do you have a puppet? We never asked you that. I use them in my act. There you go. I've never seen it. Can I ask you a question before we leave acting? He's doing the hook farther. But, I, when I said subtle, but he said, "Who shook your pants?" Yeah. It's a little big, a little big. Yeah, that's going to the question. Go ahead. Yes. Watching your series, 'cause before you came in, I wanted to know more about you. That scene, I told you this on our podcast, you killed. Which series? Oh, as we see it, that, you killed me in that show. Because the character you played was in pain, obviously. But there was a scene and we talked about it on the other podcast. It's Schumer. You know what you're doing? I don't know, I thought it's your house. He said he was good, I thought he was good. But when the dad was a father, when the dad's talking about worrying about you, every nightmare and I won't go into what challenges we each have with our children or whatever. But that scene, I don't know, it impacted me so big. And I usually don't tear up and lose it. It was hard to watch, because it was so real and you were so good. Thank you. In that every parent's nightmare is, he's challenged. I've lived with it, I help him, I pay for him, I do whatever. What's he going to do when I'm not here? And that was what that scene, and a hard scene to play. Did you, did you love playing that character? That character was really, really an amazing character. Yeah, I'd love playing that character. I was able to bring a couple of neuroses that I actually had into it. And play it in a way that there were certain things that I used to do as a kid that I tried to hide. Ticks, certain stimmings that I was able to do in that. And like, it felt honest. What made that scene in particular work for me, not what made the scene work. What made me be able, as an actor, connect in that scene was. And I remember I, that was the first episode. I didn't know Joe Montana very well. And I asked him if he would for at least five or ten seconds. Like very, like specifically, will you make eye contact with me during that? And just because of his performance, I was able to do it. Just like looking into his eyes made me, made me the actor feel so connected to him. And just feeling his feelings that it made me be able to do that scene. I was very proud of it and I was able to do it pretty well a few times because of him. It was beautiful. I mean, and so impactful. And I'm not, how much do you want stuff on TV? That's awesome. Thank you so much. As a parent. I would be as equally complimentary, but I haven't seen it. I said it to you. It will blow you, it will blow you. I guarantee it will blow you. But I'm sure you know that Joe has a young child who's very much on the spectrum. I'm sure that scene was very meaningful to him. He's unbelievable. He's a great guy. It was one of our first things that we did together and scenes that we did together. And I remember thinking like, because in rehearsal, we made eye contact. And the rehearsal was so good. Jason Caterham's the creator of it. And he even said, I should have been filming that. And then we did it. We did the two takes and I didn't feel connected to it. And I knew like that eye contact. I need that eye contact with you. And I was, I don't know if scared is the right word, but I didn't know. I had done one show before where I was the sixth lead in every aspect of what that term means. But this, I'm first on the call sheet. Am I allowed to ask for things? And I even said, hey, am I, can I ask you for something that it's going to sound like I'm giving direction. I'm asking you for help. I remember I was nervous as he goes, ask me anything you want whenever you want. And just the way he said that, I'm like, okay, could you make some eye contact. I remember I said, absolutely. And every take he did, that's the thing what you're saying is giving as a gift. Something which he did in the scene, but also as an acting partner. Like, he is so paternal. I think as a person, do you know Joe Montana? I've worked with him several times. It's like just it worked out with a relationship. He's so sweet and nice. And it just made those moments. I was like, oh, I mean, he is acting, but like this is this guy, this is he's taking something as being a dad. It was real. It was real. So I was so proud of that show. Thank you for that. I mean, it's apparent that it gave me something. You know what I mean? So thanks. Yeah, thanks, man. I want to ask you now because you've made a joke. A slight one when I first met you guys and then at the beginning of this. 10 out of 10 or 9 out of 10 people when you walk in a room know who you are and not with you. And you guys are a team in multiple ways. But as podcasters do you find that when people come on the show? Is there a dynamic that you like or don't like? Do you feel second position? I don't. I never feel. I've never felt like I'm with my best friend. So as he said with acting, adjacent scores are as something fascinating like this. I'm watching you. I'm sitting here and you're asking him about sign for I always learned something that I didn't know about him. We did something yesterday. And he said to me, they're talking about therapy. And he turned to me and said, have you ever had that? Why don't I know this with your therapy? We always find stuff out about therapy. I asked Peter. I didn't know because Pete. Pete Holmes and I were talking about therapy. I've been a therapy for. I don't know for 20 years. Yeah. I had no idea. This Peter had ever been. You haven't even seen like you've had you absolutely been. I had been I'd done therapy not extensively because I'm a cynic and I talked myself out of stuff and the internal, you know, will screw me up. And I just paid how much for this guy to ask me that it's hard. I'm very resistant. But to your point, I find him. I love hearing. When he scores like the show that he did when he played the motivation guy. I'm in a room with 10,000 people corporate. He's getting ready. He's going to have 5,000. We have did some big ones. He's on sticking right on. I'm sick. I'm going to be thrown up because I'm not worried about how he's going to deliver. He okay. Is it going to be funny? Did he get the left? So I, I the best joy for me. I got a direct is when we're doing something. And I can say something and I go he goes down. He goes down. I just hit it out of the park. But he's educated and and asked great questions. And I am when I'm listening. I'm learning too. So no, there's never been that I joked because you know the podcast. Well, then you got awards and stuff. I'm not competitive. I don't want to know numbers. And I just want to do it and be okay with it. I have a good time. So I never look at that stuff. I just Jason said, let's just do this. We can have interesting people on and we can hang. And I said, you know, our pockets should be called Georgia stands in a guy you might know. Because yeah, I'm not the draw in LA. I'm known kind of because I was in radio for a long time. But Jason's known. And I'm proud of him for being known. So no, it's never, I never feel like he's getting the attention. So no. Uh, George is saying that the guy that you don't know, um, my first sketch group I did it with one of my best friends, John DeWalt. We were, we're both the guy that you don't know. And our group was that guy and his friend. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, that's hilarious. I don't know if I even want to thought about it. But you made that joke up top or you that point up top. And then we're talking for a little bit. And then we got into scientific talk for a little bit. And then there was a couple moments where I wasn't completely present. Cause I felt like I want to include. But that's not my job. And I don't think you don't feel included. I'm just talking to you for a minute. But I did get, I did start to feel a little bit, um, insecure about not feeling, not everybody being included, which I just wanted to acknowledge. Look what happened. You were asking interesting questions that took me to the place of. I never asked you about this on sign phone. Did you ever feel that Matthew Perry thing? So because I never, because when I go see the tapings, these were people having the best time in their life. Also, if you've never been on the top hit you on your, on only show we did craft services. Is a licorice thing? What do you mean is a licorice? Oh, you're saying all you have a licorice craft services is where you go. She probably is probably some cheap cheese nibs. And bagels that I think came from another show that they didn't finish. It was taping earlier. Sign phone. Picture a table that goes to infinity. The buffet, the ball has everything on it. We're not talking catering for lunch. And craft services it's always that on sign felt from basically season three on. If you watch season three to season nine, you'll see me blow up like a tech. And it's because they had two. It's a box of nailing. Holy catered meals every friggin day. And in between those meals was a craft service table craft service. This was, it's to read. If you walked into a deli, this is what craft service would look like. You know, it was like you take 25 minutes deciding what you're going to eat. I've never seen, well, I've never been on a hit show or adjacent to. But it was, it was their food brushes. Well, I was, I wasn't often in the office with Jerry. But I was there one time when he was interviewing a woman to be the caterer for the season. And she said, what's the, what's the budget? And he went unlimited. For scale, what is a budget for a typical network show? It's not a back in that day. I don't know. Listen, with a crew, my guess is, if you were spending more than 5,000 a week on craft service, something was wrong. Okay. And he was 5,000 watch me. Okay. I'm sure. I'm sure there were weeks where we were spending $20,000 a week on catering. For a bunch of people who ate on the way in.
you know. What were you doing together during Seinfeld where you're there for the craft service is the whole time. I was doing morning morning. I was doing morning radio on ABC in Los Angeles. This is Radford, right? Seinfeld? Yeah, I was doing radio on ABC for a lot of years. I was on KLS before Howard Stern and got fired after one year, came out from Philly. Never been radio before, but they heard me do production for ads and stuff and they thought it was really funny and I'd want to wardenfully. So I said, "You're going to do morning radio now?" I went, "Yeah, sure." And I came out for the free ride thinking, "I'm not doing this." And then it was like, "Why don't I try this?" So I did it. I got fired after you're doing KLSX, the pre-Howard Stern. Thought I'd go back to Philly and they hired me to do talk radio on the number one at that time, number one talk station in the country. Started doing a heat came on the show. We hit it off that day. And as he tells it, we walk to the car, you tell it better than I do. Well, I was supposed to do 10 minutes in a segment. He had, I think Pete had a three hour show and I was in the second hour. And I finished the segment and he goes, "Hey, you want to hang and do news with me?" And I went, "Yeah, I'll do that, sure." And then we just met. I was having such a good time. And then after the third hour, he's done for the day and he goes, "It was 10 in the morning." He goes, "You want to go grab a breakfast?" And I went, "Yeah, let's go grab." So we grabbed him a meal and as we're sitting there, he says to me, "By the way, I don't know how long time I'm supposed to go, but I got an idea for your next show." And it was the show we would do years later. But yeah, we met. And then on the day that you met. And we just kept. Because I loved Jason does anger and frustration, funnier than anybody I've ever met. But better. And he's also just fun. He's just a joy. He's a person to be around. So I'd always wanted to do a Tony Robbins type thing because I always saw those guys with such bullshit, because I know so many people who went and think they're going to do the push-ups for them. So they go to the program. You also don't even believe in therapy, though. So there is a level of judgment on it. I get it. I get it. I get it. But I would look at those things and go, "I want to do that world." It just cracks me up. And what if a guy couldn't motivate his own time and so on family? There you go. Did you have that idea before you met him? Or did you meet him? I had it before. I always wanted to do the motivation. He presented to me at breakfast. So I said, "Oh, my God." And he said, "By the way, the name of the guy?" Bob Patterson. Because my father was Robert and Patterson and German father, father son. So it was like, and I wanted Alan all to be the father of this. And then you guys did it. Definitely sweet guy. And who he would not know was sleeping in the office because he had his own problems, which could be revealed later on. But looked at this guy as his son. And I always knew what the ending was for the first episode. I always knew that he was going to be on stage on a bed of nails with a camera going down. And he's saying, "Your mind can control all of this." It doesn't hurt. I'm not even thinking about it. The only thing he says applauding whatever. And when he gets up, you start to see blood holes where the shirt was. And he's got the guy who's going, "Thank you very much. I should have watched it after you told me about it before this." And I didn't. I don't know how you would find it. It became a different thing. We love Robert Klein, but it was the same rhythm as Jason. We cast so late we couldn't get. We went for a bunch of people. But Robert was brilliant. Robert Klein is who in first wife's club says the line of, "It's a living. I'm making a living for very comfortable." And we're back in full circle. So it was great. I've been doing a Robert Klein bit. I don't know why. In the last three weeks I've done the same Robert Klein bit five times for people who didn't know it. When he was a waiter at a restaurant and served a guy and I said, "Robert, taste the soup. You know this bit?" Is it acha? Yeah. I know that joke from. It must be Portugal from. Sorry. Do the joke, please. The short version. Do the longer one. Taste the soup. You go, "What? It's cold. The soup was cold. I'll get you another soup. It's a cold." He goes, "Just taste the soup." You're doing it again. Start over. Start from the beginning. All right. I'll be the waiter. All right. Robert, taste the soup. Is it something wrong with the soup? Taste the soup. Is it not your liking? Is it too cold? Taste the soup. Okay, where's the spoon? Oh. That's coming to America. Yeah, but Klein did that bit on an HBO special, told it as his own true story. Maybe this is. In 1973, I think. Before coming to America. He's brilliant, but that was my really my first taste of network notes and being flummoxed because we had two studios and a network. So I'd have three people. And the studios didn't agree on the notes. So you'd have 19 notes and it was just, it was almost impossible. It was so hard. It was a little rough. And. That's what Alice is. are showing on here. Nine days after 9/11? When comedy was king. You know. We need to come up. Do you ever come out introducing the audience and do a candlelight vigil before you went? And then in that episode, one of the Wayne's brothers was on the next stage. So 9/11 had just happened. Everybody's in shock still. And I forget which Wayne's it was. It's like this cigar and the alarms go off. And everybody has to be evacuated. Then they bring them all back and go, "Well, let's do this." It was tough. It was tough. One of the greatest lines. Barbie Feldman was a writer in our show. She's a wonderful comedy writer. And we were. We were table reading our first episode after 9/11. In the basement. In the basement. And you know, things were dicey. Nobody knew what the world was going to be. And for a minute in our read-through, we had a blackout for about six seconds. And everybody was like, you could feel the tension in the room. And the lights came back on. And Barbie felled me without skippin' the beat. I was like, "Oh, my diamond neck." That's a me-stick. That's stick. But that's to break a room. That was a gift. That was medicinal, you know what I mean? Yeah. I just. I love stick so much. It's comfort food. Not too much, but like, you know, it's french fries. Well, but yes, and again, I hate that we got into it about stick. Jason took me to a cafe with. To the place. We'd like to say the name of the restaurant. I don't know, which gratitude. Oh, Cafe Gratitude. And they're not bringing my stuff first enough. And I'm yelling out, losing gratitude. Well, no, you know, in Cafe Gratitude, the dishes all have names like, "I am bountiful. I am divine. I am right." And this schmuck. I agree. And he's given me the stick I. From the minute we go in, it's not his place. And he yells out, "I'm waiting 15 minutes for my "I am patient." And the place comes down, you know? And shout out, I was just there the other day without you. So I had eggs. So I'm very glad to hear that. No, you did not have eggs. They may have called it eggs. But you did not have eggs. Why? It's a vegan restaurant. Oh, yeah, that's right. Didn't come out of a chicken. He might have something next to a chicken. You guys met on doing a broadcast and we can't hit it off right away. One of my very good friends, who I felt the way the day I met him, I'm like, is this. It felt like we're having a sleep over. He's not one of my best friends, Sal Volcano. Do you know him? The actor, he's part of. Amongst many other things, he's a stand-up comic, but he's really well known from being on the show in practical jokers. He's one of the regular jokers. Okay, that's probably where. But from the moment we guys started doing this, I think I may have even cried on that episode. I've not done the second one. Of just like the Catholic gratitude I felt toward having like a friend. I love having friends. I'm so grateful when I have friends. Did you not grow up with them? I grew up with friends in and out. Maybe I was never really bullied. I was never included in things. The way at least my memory of things were looking back on stuff. I didn't really have friends. The neighborhood kids would play, but then they would go inside. I remember one of the neighbors said, "You're not allowed inside." One of those types of things. I'm like, "Oh, okay, but I guess I'm not allowed inside." I was so unaware, consciously, that sometimes I would get sad about it. But looking back, I do have a joke in my act where I say, looking back as a kid, I realized I didn't have friends. I never knew that. I just thought everybody was busy all the time. So like, I didn't, you know, I guess a possibility of not getting to know you a bit and really liking you who you are. Was it also because you could occupy yourself and you were okay with that? If that was a byproduct, maybe, but no, the reason I think it would be is I didn't pick up on social cues very well. I would annoy people. Children, sometimes they could say they're very direct. They'll say what they want. But I also think a lot of times, kids will just not tell you. Could you occupy yourself for long periods of time? I did, yeah. But I would also always want to wrestle. I remember, because I remember the other kids that didn't want to wrestle. And in my head, I knew what they meant. What they meant was they're nervous, just make, make, show them it's okay. So like I would be physical and touch and be loud and just, I, I, I think I, I think I, I think I bothered kids. And I didn't know it. I think that's more of what it was. And then I got it together. When did you know, when was it presented to you so that, and how? So it wasn't punishing or wasn't punishing when it was presented to you? You got it back, that the teacher said that you remember the first time somebody said, hey, they don't like that. Did they do a general? And then the way where they understood who you were? Or was it punishing? I don't remember ever understanding that's what was being told to me. In third grade, I remember, I, they asked the teacher because I was very easily distracted. The teacher asked me to take my test. So I wasn't so distracted, literally under her desk, like sitting on the floor.
a little darker under the desk. So I wasn't so distracted. It wasn't until years later, as an adult, I looked back and remembered that and realized, yes, that was so I wasn't distracted. At least equally, if not more, it was so I wasn't distracting the other kids. And like, oh, and I remember this metaphor feeling like, now I'm out from under the desk, like, oh, I get it. All of this stuff is true, but there's so much context around the why. I went to special, I had to be in special classes, I ended up going to a special school called PEP Positive Education Program. I never understood why. I just like, oh, am I in trouble? Why am I supposed to be? I don't know. Did you feel in trouble a lot of time? Not as much as I was in trouble. I was in trouble a lot of time and didn't even feel it. I think a combination of my lack of awareness and the combination of the way my mom would punish me and not really stick to it. So I'm like, this isn't really trouble. You know, like, you know, I remember I was in the special class before I went to PEP where I was, I paced around. You're not allowed to and they put painter's tape around my desk and I'm not allowed to step one foot outside of that painter's tape. So I would crawl around on my knees. You know, like, I didn't do myself any favors, but I was restricted and always trying to find ways. To beat it. Yeah, and doing bits because there were, I did have some champions. I remember the vice principal in high school. I would be sent to the office, but I'd make them laugh. And like, oh, if you're funny, it's okay. I'm going to special schools, I don't have friends, but you know, oh man, comedy's king. But then you realize being funny is great. Playing is great. As long as you're not stepping on somebody else's toes and my big journey was figuring out, when am I allowed to make my choices? Where, when is it that I'm making my choices that I'm not taking away somebody else's or forcing them to respond? Pardon me, I'm talking a lot right now. I want to say this one more thing. I've said this on my podcast before, but I was, I may have told you this because I know you know Jackie Tone, my very good friend of mine and my ex. I did a joke when I met some of her friends and she didn't love the joke, not that big of a deal. Maybe I told you this, but it was a big learning moment for me because I'm like, this is, the joke I did is totally fine, but that's, it's her, it's her group. I like gambling, but I learned that like, if I'm gambling with my money, it's okay, but I can't gamble with somebody else's money. Maybe I win, but if I don't, I just lost their money. So I'm always checking with like, if I miss who's money am I playing with? And that was like, my big, I'm an adult moment. But I do still very much hold on to how important friendships are, which is no more specific to me than anybody else, that's just my version of it. And when I realize I have a friend or when I realize you're my friend, like I'm feeling emotional now just saying, like you're my friend, like it's just so nice to have friends. - It's really important, man. - Yeah. - He told me through a lot of stuff. - But there's also, you know. - I think I always had at least a friend when I was a kid. When I walked into the world of school theater, community theater, I was 12 or 13 and I had no tribe up until that moment. I felt very alone, isolated, scared. And now suddenly I'm in a world where I'm accepted and I'm liked and I have camaraderie with these people. But I didn't start to understand what a friend was until I was in my 30s. I had a lot of stuff in the way. It is very hard to have a friend. It, you have to, it is that thing I was talking about. They have to matter in some ways more than you do. And the time together has to be about how do I make this are being together valuable for you because it's serving me. But how do I ensure that it's serving you? And that, I still do, but I deal with it better now. I carry so much insecurity that I can do that that I am worth being in a room with, that it made it very hard. And it's only honestly, I'm 66. In the last 20 years, I have been able to have friendships and honor those friendships and believe in those friendships and give them the proper values. And I think it's a hard thing. I think it's a learned skill. It's easy to go, oh, you're my best friend 'cause we ride bikes together and we do shit together. But at what point do I make you valuable to my life? And I still have a thing where I talk about this in therapy all the time. I have not yet ever cried over a death. My parents, my siblings are gone, my dog, my friends are mine have gone. And I have deep feelings. And I go, am I just incapable of, you know, and I'm an easy cry. I can cry at a hallmark commercial. But there's something about I expect people to leave me. I expect it. I walk around that way going, of course they're gonna leave me. Everyone's gonna leave. And that weird? When did you start feeling that way? Obviously young. As a child. So I think I've talked about this somewhere. When I was, up until I was six years old, you could, you could, well, I remember it and I know the story very well. But you could, I was so thin you could count my ribs. Everybody said, boy, Jay's got to eat. He doesn't eat. When I was six years old, I had three pretty traumatic experiences, pretty much back to back. And by the time I was seven, I was 50 pounds overweight and I've struggled with weight ever since. So the two of the, well, all three of those traumas were about loss. I had an uncle that I was very, very close to who died prematurely and for reasons I will never understand 'cause Jews don't typically do this. They had an open casket funeral that I'm at. So I see this man who meant so much to me, dead and then they closed that box and they buried it and I freaked the fuck out. Oh my God. Then a few months after that, I was a latchkey kid. My parents both worked. So I would come home to an empty house and I would basically be by myself until my parents got home. So so if my school day ended at three, I was home by 330. My folks would come in around 6.37 o'clock. I come home from school one day, except for some house plants and a couple of appliances, the entire house is gone, empty. Guys that come with a moving van, they had cased it and they knew everybody's gone from this house for these six hours. They took everything. And maybe I missed something. By the time you got home from school, that was already taken. It wasn't while you were gone. No, I walked into a house that had been emptied and my immediate responses, my parents left. What, cally-calkin, my pay left. I'm I've been abandoned. Trauma number two. And a few months after that, my dad had a massive heart attack. Almost died. It was an intensive care for three months. And my assumption was he's not coming back. And so those three things back to back, but they're all about loss and abandonment. Loss and abandonment. And from that time on, I do believe my internal voice goes, everyone's going, everyone's leaving you. You are alone. Count on no one. Nothing. And by the way, they're leaving you because you're not good enough to stay with. So you want to talk therapy. And you know, so when Peter and I talk about a friendship, the fact that there is nothing I can't tell this man. Nothing. There's nothing I can't explore with him. My greatest insecurities, my greatest fears, the triumphs, the, was I a good father today? Was I a good husband today? Was I a good friend today? Was I a good actor today? Was I, there's that, this connection of going, you're, I got you. I got you and I'm not going anywhere, had been incredibly rare, either a rare, rare in my life on a real level or my inability to take it in. And Pete was one of the first people who really sort of powned his way in there. And then I realized there were more people as well that I could have at least a semblance of that relationship with. Peter, what value does he offer you as a friend? You just heard it, that he's that open. And he's also not matured. I'm neurotic. I grew up in a family that lost everything because of Hitler and all that. So my house was similar. Don't get close to him. You're going to get into it from the office of your house for yesterday. They had to come here and lost everything, started over. And my house always had a cloud over it, which was don't get close to anything. It's going to go away, because it did. Don't get attached, because they're going to go away. So I was always a loner in a family. And I still, I am, but I'm not, because I love my family. I don't like my wife. But friendships, I've had friendships. But again, like Jason, into my 30s, I'd never had a connection to that point where you're all in. And he can't say anything to compass. Does he piss me off? Have we had fights? There was a fight one day from I drove from Hollywood back to the fallacies, which was an hour.
screaming at the top of my lungs and the minute it's over I've never had that before where it's over it's out you get every he's told me it's out there's nothing I don't have one thing that I'm holding that I haven't told him and when I tell people uh Jason's gonna do this now they go well I go no I just said that to him I'm not it's not the secret um having that kind of thing with him he was just when I met him he was just so open and so vulnerable will need to be vulnerable that it was an amazing experience for me to have somebody that I quickly bonded with that way and felt comfortable saying I mean like after the power states fires he convinced me to the pockets I didn't want to do the podcast again I thought it was with everybody's doing a podcast everybody's cousin brother the guy to gas station I can't pump now I got to do my pocket which it's by the way it's it's the 76 podcast and it's good but go on I always wanted to counter behind this while we did our podcast is swirling the showing the number of podcasts that are going just being added while we're talking and it stops goes down for and then starts starts swirling in so I never knew because I didn't know what the message is how important is it what what are we gonna do and and I have just been in one room with the family not knowing what's going to be having to throw out everything we own and Jason just called and said the right thing let's just do it to get together in a real different look at this we got to know you we got to know you kind of intimately more than so in a passing thing this isn't magical this is important I wouldn't have gotten to do this if you didn't convince me to do it I feel so I got to come here today and do this you're I mean I'm just saying it yeah I this is a world I don't know you're coming to your age group you're the friends you have the way you fire I loved when you came in it was fast and I love this this is hanging out this doesn't look like a podcast to me this looks like I'm in a new person and I'm finding out about them with my best friend it's a reason to make friends or and have a social life the podcast I use the podcast yeah and he needs me to do it and it's been hard and I say to him all the time and because I don't think I'm the same guy going through some health stuff with the family that was pretty pretty brutal and recently really brutal from my wife my sister was just belly cancer for a year had a really hard time with it was coming through the end was on her way home from a doctor's appointment and was hit by a driver in the car and killed this was how do you get that phone call so there's been a lot of trauma and also the palisades thing we're back in the house but there's no community there you know my son grew up in that community knew everybody so you go to the store you see this one you go here there's no commute night it's pitch black I took the dog out the other night I had three coyotes I'm running from my life because the dog wants to get away and I'm thinking oh my god what are we doing it's pitch black sunset Boulevard there's no traffic so yeah I'm back in the house and thank you thank you but I always say Jason I'm a different guy I don't know if I got angrier I don't know if I'm mean or funny or don't absorb but I'm finding myself becoming more agor phobic and it really take like today it was it sure to get dressed and I know that's how I related to your thing because when I was reading about you saying just getting a toothpaste on the toothbrush just moving through the day and then me I don't Gary Goldman who struggles with everything you know and and hearing getting to hear other people stuff yeah he is funny and man he's so bright and he uses it this to me is an education and and I said to Jay and I hate to get this syrupy or sappy but I hope our podcast and I hope this is a bigger message then just hang you know ha ha and whatever that there's something that people can get from it because I want to do at this point in my life something that's a little bit more valid it's about something so we talked about that all the time and he enables me to do that wouldn't be sitting here if he didn't call me and say let's just do it so we can see each other so and it turned out okay for what it's worth as far as doing something as valid that it means something to people what I have found from podcast culture and saying similar things in here and getting messages and meeting people up to shows how big the net is is who knows but this isn't curated like it's it's not on the radio it's not let's put on channel blah blah and see what it is the only people that are watching your podcast or people that are choosing to so like the people that it's not valuable to they don't know about it they're not watching it everybody that chooses to watch it is getting something out of it as opposed to just it's on so there's unless literally nobody watches it which then still you have an excuse to meet people and be friends I've only recently started listening to podcasts I I never really did every now and then if it's a certain person I get it I get it it's like let me you know it's you're it's the new version of hanging out with people that you don't know right you know and I like it the only the only thing is I don't work that hard to grow it's again I worry like for my kids in 20s and 30s the influence the culture of they see you and the numbers go up and then the numbers go down and it's your network your value is is how many how many people interested in what I have to say but then there's an algorithm there's also competition there's also how do they find you there's also how do they remember come back to you how do they know that you did that episode how do there's so many moving parts to having a successful podcast and also the biggest is what's a successful podcast what do you need it to do but that's you know earlier you said you're you're not in the analytics you don't look at the numbers all those things and I first I thought that meant because they don't interest you but now I'm starting to realize it's because they they bother you it bothers me to the extent that I don't want I know what to do to grow a podcast I know about promotion and marketing and average I I don't want to do it I just want to do this I just want to enjoy it be able to have enough money to pay people who work for us to put it together so they have a good life maybe do a little charity something at some point but but just do it I'm not it it's not because I'm it bothers me I just don't want to do what it takes to grow something and do all the publicity and go on everybody show that I don't want to go on that has a lot of that's not what it takes to make something successful and also you even said what is a successful podcast you could pay the people to work with you you could hang out with your friend at least once a week isn't that a successful podcast as far as the marketing it's a different landscape than when you were coming up doing this stuff and for better and for worse because it's not as much as in there's not as much in your control the only thing you can do outside of having good chemistry and a good product is having on guests that could introduce you in that episode when maybe they stay and then every now and then I don't like I used to do them all the time I don't do as many podcasts anymore just because it's draining not because of any curation reason but to do them sometimes do five a year you know Pete Holmes has a great comedy audience people that are going to come see him on you guys are now some of them might be like I'll check out another episode and then the algorithm is if they do and then they click on one more they're like oh they're going to start feeding them that right you know and then there's the whole well how much how important it is that people click on the thumbnail if they see it because if they don't the algorithm knows we offered it and they didn't want it you have to have great thumbnails so like you're not making your own thumbnails but make sure the people know but my younger son has just gotten he's not a podcast but he's doing these long-form youtube videos about very niche stuff and he just did one stuff well his first seven were on by Lego Bionicles and the lore Lego Bionicles a little nerd boy I love it but he just did one on this thing called you might know it power scaling you know what this is do you know what that is no okay so power scaling is it's a thing people do it where you take it's it's gaming and anime characters mostly should take one character from one thing and one character from another thing and you debate on who would win a fight and he just did a thing I'm five reasons why I hate power scaling and he's funny and he and he presents arguments so well I mean I sit back and go I think my son is brilliant the way he organizes his ideas and presents him and they're funny and they're edited funny but what really made this one pop I think it's and he only released it five days ago and it's it's popping his name is Noah Greenspan by the way you go and Noah Greenspan YouTube will put the link in the description and he did a he did a thumbnail that's really fun having to your thumbnails really fun well yeah then I'd have to pay him and I refuse to do that I have to imagine you have so much money you should pay him to do the stuff but you know what I've spent enough of it on him and if he's not gonna do it gratis that's what I say you could pay him for it well I have a son he fired him as my announcer I don't know why I'm not fire him what does he announce for me what do they mean on the pod we used to have a little announce coming in like a voice of God now your office yes yes and now by the way he's changed the format I don't know what our show is tell me why tell me why you let his son go I just first have to say I have a son his band is called boy O B O Y O B O B O Y and the theme song and they're great the theme song theme song that you wrote for our show that's still on our show that seems to have money you told me you told me he's really good boy boy of the band but why did I change the show it's just we didn't need an intro because I'm worried a producer started putting together clips of you know to lead into the show and then it goes we don't just do stuff because you need it was to write to us no but what Jay's not telling you because I'm really tuned to the genre if my channel does a little better than his channel this is jealous his jealous is that I'm for every step to your right man it's just do this right right wait wait wait wait wait I think no we did our timing was awful now.
I know. So I think that's my son anyway, but I'm working on stuff for the for the kinder as they say. To do to do. I mean, for Robert Chuck, but yeah, for the kids that part of the way you either way you responded to that, it was going to be you're an old Jew. Do you realize that? I would like to know what to do. Kinder chocolate goes down that road if you knew what kinder meant in the itish. And I'm sure you do. That would have been an old Jew. You can't get away from it. Well, he do. Will he announce? Noah, could we get him to do the announcements for when we're leading into commercials for this episode? Absolutely. Yeah. Will you pay him? No. Can you have Robert to the music? And I'll pay him. I mean, yeah. But you know, wait, wait. Is that an obnoxious, not the most obnoxious thing ever? And I have a cousin can he make sandwiches when you, you know, you never, you never know that like you're done before, you never know the parameter when you're overstepped. Just like wrestling when you were wrestling with kids. I've just done it. So our thing, I don't even ask you for a favor, but I do have a cousin who makes that. I can't hear what you're being on our show was already an argument we have. Tell me about it. So really, no, really, which is now in its third year of production had a very simple premise, really simple premise. Peter or I would hear of something that we go, really? No, really? It just didn't make sense at face value. It was usually a topic or a thing or an event, right? And then God bless my partner here would go and find somebody who had information that could give us answers about. So it could be anything like three years. It's you go right out of guests that are that interesting. Not that we started with Jerry Seinfeld. It's not a bit about he does a whole bit about why is it that the stall door? It doesn't go down to the floor in a public restroom. And we went, yeah, really? No, you can see if somebody's in there. So that's not the answer. We got not. And what I do, and I may say, Jay, you are a great researcher. Is this what you're going to say? I go under and I've noticed. Well, you know why in today's world, I don't want to put on some, somebody who's not credible or has an agenda, whatever I go and I look at the videos. I see their college. I went what they did. I go to see what they I want something regret. Why are you bringing the movie? Willie mammoth back? We got a guy from Harvard. We should never talk to us. This is like, do you know about that? This is like they're trying to rely on the world at genetics and he comes on at the park. It's passing apart, but it wasn't. That was the crazy thing. I don't I'm saying it's like that. I just see that. And that's why when I thought, why are they bringing back the Willie mammoth? What the fuck in C Jurassic Park? So this guy comes on. He finds the guy who's heading up the team that's doing it. And our first thing, you know, we think we're going to have fun with this guy. Oh, yeah, you never saw Jurassic Park, right? And he goes, yeah, we're not trying to bring back the Willie mammoth. We go, well, what are you doing? Yes, we're trying to save the elephant. And he explains, he goes in this whole thing about how the elephants are going to go extinct, unless the difference in DNA between a mammoth and an elephant, two percent difference, but it enabled the mammoth to exist in cold climates. He said, if we could give that ability back to the modern elephant, we could relocate. So and save them. Science is able to take the species of elephant and make them a little bit more woolly, but we still can't regrow hair. Correct. They're trunk boy. That is correct. That would be the thing, man. That's correct. Yeah, I know. I know. You want to hear some relationship to that? So when I was college, I didn't know I'd wondered to do my mom got by Parkinson's disease. And I started studying physiology. And I'm going starting a master's program. And I'm working a lab with guys doing research, lesioning rats brains and stuff to find the breaking it, breaking thing to get past the blood brain barrier. So you could give it a precursor, which turns into dope, Aldopa, because your brain wants to get it out right away. The guys in the lab, all they would talk about is, yeah, this is this is great research and all the cancer research is great. But the big money here, if we every day, all I heard is, we've got to figure out how to grow hair. It sounds like they're the Aldopa. But anyway, we're doing topics like that for two years. Now he goes, let's have Rick Glassman on. What's the really no really about that? Now you had one. You had one that was actually interesting to us. A lot of people don't realize they don't believe and pardon me, but my audience knows how large my penis is. And it becomes because it's this thing about Jews with their penises. Right. And that's with really no rippling. And we've heard that. But we're starting to invite a lot more comedians on for several reasons. But the show is in transition. And so with Goldman, you know, we wanted to talk about you literally put yourself in a hospital free from such crippling depression and you made comedy. So we want to know about that with you. You know, you're very open about being on the spectrum. I only wanted to talk about that. The other thing is I've been friendly with Robert Hartman who owns the improv way before when he didn't on the improv. But we were going to do a show from there years ago. And I said to Jay, I'd love to do something with them because they got so many up in commerce. And when I came to LA, all these guys who became big were just coming up. And it was a joy to discover comedians and nobody knew and watch them, you know, ascend and become this thing. So that's fascinating to me. And the joy of comedy in today's world too is important for me. Where Jason didn't mention like with the Holy Man, so I don't do it for comedy. We figure we know. We'll be we'll be funny. Hopefully the dog is. But it's a dog, right? I miss Calvin Alvin went, oh, these guys are talking about there. Wait, wait, what's it again? SD card. Yeah. What happened? You got a cake coming out of the oven. He's got to switch cards. We've been going so long. I love reading out of tapes. Oh, you know what? That one there. Now I realize why I'm having fun and we can end it in a second and or I'll give you a snack. Don't give me a snack. What a way. What a snack. What are the snacks? I could take it for the road. It's got fun. I got a funny right here. Just. Yeah. Have you ever had a thing? No, I told you what I have. I know what you have, but just a one. We got one. That's it. I was making a kinder call back. But no, I have I have I have you don't need. I'm going to eat this. What are you kidding? You want something? I'm good. I'm good. I'm actually good. Yeah. I'm going to be a little kinder. So two servings is 120 pounds. Look at my gosh. Why didn't we do this at the beginning of the show? I have hard boiled eggs. I have a grass-fed beef jerky. I'm good. Don't say jerky that way. I'm good. I have strawberries. I'm good. I'm almost going to eat the cake. I just wonder how you I know you do stick with salad. I almost bought you salad. You talk about salad. You like salad with no dressing. I don't want to talk about it. I just don't. I'm just saying, I almost did. I was almost bought you a big thing of cherries. Would you like that more than a cake? They're organic. That more than cake. I'll eat that. But but I'm good at I don't eat treats when I'm when the sun's out. I don't need them. The sun goes out. I start to crave my first kinder way. No, but they're very good. Okay. I have to tell you something. I didn't I'm sure it's fine, but that's been sitting around for a while. Who was president? I think Trump the first time. Yeah. That's not go bad. They're like twigging. It's without a doubt my favorite would I and we'll be turning your microphone down. Don't worry. Okay. The my favorite over the counter candy. You know, like I love donuts. I love properly baked stuff. I love a grocery store packaged cake. I if I could pick any little zets you catch it. I bring it. How generous. How gracious. Oh, you broke cake. I'm playing into it. You know, I'm going to get stoned and I'll eat that in two sittings. God bless you. The kinder Boino bar in particular is by far my favorite my favorite. Like if you can get a chocolate. That's very good. Is this German? Is it American? Is it what is it? What is it? I can't get Swedish. Let me see. I can't read it. I can't. What? Where do they make kindergarten? Yeah. Where do they make kindergarten bars? I think you're right. So it's what's her land? This one's pasted up in New Jersey. This one says no, or that, or that. The historic birthplace of kindergarten headquarters is the Ferraro group, which is Italy, like Rajel Ferraro, which I think is also the actor who plays Turtle in Entourage. Right? Okay. Okay. I'll find the Ferrari. This is the Ferraro group. It's family's worth. You are correct. It says that. But this is the Ferraro group from Persephone, New New Jersey. I town I know very well. And what's funny is they're probably making a plant where people are wearing head gear and you're going, that's candy I've ever had in my life. What does that mean? Did it stop? Like Jason says, it can last 40 years. What food do you know that lasts a long time to say, let's our priority here is one. And I'm sure it's healthy for you. As my mother would say, Filet. You know, what would do that? Frozen? When you get high, you don't eat those. Oh, yeah, you should put that in the freezer. You know, I love a frozen chocolate. I've never frozen a kinder. Wow. Oh, dude, you're missing. I don't even taste it. That's better. Malamaz are the best freezer chocolate. Malamaz. It's not a dog. It's a cookie with a marshmallow on it. Oh, I do know those. Yeah. Or keep the fudge sticks in the freezer. Hope you're stoned. You go to the whole thing. Fudge sticks. Fudge sticks. Oh, yes, those I would. I told him I don't do. I don't eat. I really don't do a lot of process treats anymore, though. With the exception of those, sometimes I do dried fruit. I do cakes, baked goods. Okay. I'm being on pumpkin pie right now. Oh, wow. No, not the freezer. I'm just saying desserts. I'm saying my dad keeps a thin mint in the freezer. That's what we do. Yeah, they're making the freezer. Let me tell you why I don't freeze these, but they'll probably be good. You haven't had one yet. The inside is a chocolate hazelnut soft like liquidy almost. That's correct.
I like to take one piece. I like to put it in my mouth and try to not bite right and just fill it with the live and get a lot of Feltings break it it'll crack you put it in your mouth and do the same thing as it just begins to melt a little bit and you go Yeah, I'll do that. This is heaven especially if you're strong when you toast a Moish Melody at the brown or do you let it? Set on fire when you say to our toast mark You mean other than when I was forced to it like a camp and like a military camp I just we were toasting much more the other day invariably on the guy just like on teams last pick Yeah, I'm the guy who's holding it and it goes it starts to melt in my father Who only ate black and steak black? Todd me you don't roast you you you burn it you burn the outside black you set it on fire when the whole Marshmallows on fire and there's black on the outside You blow it up and you know health not you dad. He lived in 92 It's that's amazing to me you tell those stories and it's always the guy lived to a hundred four smoked yeah eight black and marsh black and marshmallows like they just excavated for a house. I see I see people, you know He's father also trying to drive on the Marshmallow about the hot dog order the best hot dogs Oh, yeah, my dad would cruise around the Lower East out of New York looking for a cart that looked like it had been Through a holocaust and he goes those dogs have been sitting in that water for a week. They got flavor They got flavor. There you go. If you had a clean cart you were not getting our green spans business That's for sure. I remember my gram my gram my grandpa told me that they love the Coney Island hot dogs so much because they never clean the grill Same theory You're not supposed to clean it. It's a seasoning on a cast iron, but out there. It's like living with 300-year-old house stuff from the 1800s All right, well listen, I don't want to keep you guys too much longer. We have to be here. Let's go. We're we're yeah This is awesome. I had such a good time on your podcast. I didn't know if you guys would you mind? We had a we had a great time with you on our podcast. Really? I got to tell you something. We wouldn't have just done asked asked me how many podcasts Jason has been on About the show to promote the show whatever isn't up to promote the show But that he's been on that I've asked him to do. There's how many how many podcasts have none really? We don't he doesn't go in practice. I don't go on podcast. This was because we hit it off. You're a special guy You're interested you're interested. I can tell everyone Your mother was right Yes, she was right You have to let me do something I don't know if they'll answer Can I face time my parents with you guys for one second? How would you not? How do you not do that Look at this is like by the way just just as a personal looking for you don't need that much read on the court We're going out in the street interview Wow, where's the dog by the way? I want the dog Alvin come on Come here Bob come here come here come here come here come here. Oh my god. I missed you so much come here. Alvin. Alvin. Alvin You guys put your headsets on he's got the show coloring as as as a folks. I thought you said Alvin Alvin Alvin Alvin come here. You got the tailgone come here. You know what the dog is saying to you. You come to me Hi, Steve He's laughing. Why is he laughing? I don't understand Ricky out from my hero. Oh, it's nice that Ricky's not your hero. That's the first way to leave as a father That's good. How are you Steve? I'm fine. Jason. It's nice to meet you. Well, it's nice to meet you. This is my partner Peter Nice nice to meet you. I think yep. Wait for her to stay frozen. That's an unfortunate for you forever It's unstable now. He's got blur now. He's moving his slow motion This is really good Rick. You got a hell of a set up dad is mom nearby No, mom's at the dentist. Oh, it's not 230 yet. Call the dentist call the dentist. What's the number? I wanted to call because because Jason Jason They were they were saying nice things about me and they said your mother was right about you right? I said he's special. I said your mother was right. You are special see He's very special. Yes, Steve. May I ask how did you make your way in the world? What what did you do for your living? I'm using past tense because you look I'm assuming retire I was tired six months for the first 20 years of my life. I was in the restaurant business Yeah, it was terrible and then I went into the flooring business for my last 25 years I had I sold area rugs for a living. I did very well. God bless I got to retire and move to the desert here and I love it here except it's 109 yet you're out of the season your where is you you're supposed to summer in a cooler climb the the rugs didn't do that All year so I can be close to Ricky and my grandson. Oh, that's nice. Oh, so there's a grandchild in the mix I didn't know your brother had it nice. How old is the grandchild just turn three my mine is three and a half Is that right? Yeah, start a podcast together. I'm going through the grandchild's a boy girl There we go. I have been it and we'll get them together and they'll pretend that they're Jewish He's not right right. That's very nice. Thank you. You certainly want to ask Peter We'll enjoy and put on an SPF. It's actually well every day. We're tile that that will do it because it's just you're gonna burst in the flames where you live Yeah, I know I got but I love it here. The vibe is great. It's just what's the vibe? What's the vibe? It's very chill There's no stress. Are you a golfer? Do you play golf? I suck at it? Yeah, but I'm trying it. Sure because there's nothing else to do and when do you go out when it's not hot like 3/30 in the morning? I tell you something even we usually take a late walk around 11 o'clock at night I'll put all about three weeks ago and it's still 95 degrees there But it's better than 18 degrees and 12 inches of snow. I live that too. You're right. You're exactly right. So daddy I want to let I want to let them go, but I just wanted to call and let you guys meet for a sec. Be healthy. You got a special son, man He's a good dude. Thank you, Steve. This was the highlight of my day. No, my week, but the week is young Thank you. All of I next year and whatever. What's great is you just call your wife if you miss this phone call because you have to get a new I know she's going to be so personal. Yeah. Yeah, I hope at least she has a clean bill of tea today. I had to go to the dentist of all days today. I have to go to the I love you dad. I'll call you later. Excellent. God bless, Steve. All right. Take care. We'll talk to you some other time. I'm hitting end and that was it. Boy, that was That was great. I know you're making a joke, but that was very cool. I mean, I'm sure you've hear from everybody So I don't need to tell you, but how much I am? I mean to my entire family parents. I understand. Yeah, you know the greatest thing to As branding the greatest thing is you walk through like in Vegas, you walk through the mall there on the way to something There were when people see him. Yeah, they were all out to stand up. Everybody smile. Everybody breaks in the joy. Because of me. Yeah, No, I feel like I was going to say to me and then you when they noticed they go, no, it's amazing. It's amazing. I feel that way I'm maybe not the same level, but whenever I'm walking somewhere, especially in the airport with Alvin. I see people look at I see people go like this. Look at this. I mean, I know, I know, I know, I know, Kipola. You are so gorgeous. Alvin, I give you a hundred dollars. You buy them. Right on the moon. Right on the moon. It's impossible. It's too much love. Gentlemen, thank you. Thank you, Alvin Miranda one really, really, really, really check out that podcast. My episode. Go over there and leave a comment and say Rick has a very strong presence in the podcast game. So they know like, wow, it's a good thing we got glass. And by the way, I was a little concerned that the puppet didn't have the tallest today. I don't I normally don't show it because it's part of my act. My, my tour is Ricky's on the loose, but I have that as the name, not the name. I'm getting ready to do my special. And we're going to bleep it. But this is involved in the name of the special. So I'm starting to introduce him more to people. What are you doing? What are you doing? I haven't decided yet, but I want to film at the end of this year or early next year. I'm actually there. I want to be there. I want to I think I want to consider doing in LA. I'm doing I'm on tour and I'm doing the French festival in Edinburgh this summer. And then I'm going to do Amsterdam, Dublin and London and just a lot of shows like pretty much the entire month every day in August. And then I think that's going to be like, I just did so many shows in a row. And I want to plan it after that. Normally I would make a pitch and say, Oh, do you need a director for your show? But I've watched the specials. From all kinds of comedians and I go, what did they direct? The guy is standing there. He's pacing around. He's got a microphone. He's doing a act. What do you direct? You got five cameras. You go, everybody, make sure you got him. You know, most of them. There are some special podcasts out there. And I've been watching a lot of them. And I'm trying to. I don't podcast. Yes. But we're very special. I mean, specials. Yeah. So, so I don't think there's a Burnham had a special. That's a special. A lot of direct. There are a lot of people. The Safty brothers knew, Sandler's new special is special. There's, there's ways of doing it. I have been hiring people on the road to film my sets. I'm not even posting them. Right. With specific direction. Well, also asking them to do some stuff. I'm just trying to find different ways. Yeah. Because it's very hard. In fact, I don't even think it's possible to capture
a live show at home to have the same experience by design, it's not the same experience, it's not communal. But how do I make it translate? 'Cause a lot of what I do, probably other comedians as well, but speaking for myself, when I see it on tape, it's like that's not what I'm doing. No live performance on television is the experience. But there's ways of getting it better. For example, what I have found is I'm very, very attracted to a handheld. I'm wondering if every shot is on a handheld. You can't, then you're locked into that. Yes. And then you'll regret it. If you're gonna do it, say it. But also have a couple of stationers. Sure, but that's a great point. A couple of three extra, five extra, whatever it might be stationary. I love the idea of, because when you're watching, you're not watching it like this. You're watching it like this. You know, like you're looking around a little bit. Right. I like that. And there's other little things. But I saw you with the room. The first special I saw of yours was in the round where you're saying, I think she, you were a camera operator on that. You do with my face. And you made me, it made me laugh because you were referring to people and saying, I just wanted to see who I'd beat up, who I could beat up here to, and I got a sense, 'cause the payoff is I'm looking at that. Like you're looking at. That's why I love that. That's why I started getting it over here. Yeah. So the camera shots were pretty good on that. And I know that that was a Lucy Goosey, just a venue. Yeah. But it worked for me. 'Cause you go back and as you're turning the camera, gonna see you know where it's going. So the audience likes being a little bit ahead. So when the camera's going to the guy and you're going, well, let me ask you a question, you know that. You said the audience likes being a little bit ahead. Can you take your top off? Well, when you're doing jokes and setups and payoffs, a lot of times the fun of it is, you go on, and it's just a little bit ahead of you. They're anticipating a punch line under laughing. They're anticipating you're going there 'cause the camera's telling him where you're going. And that was good for me for that thing. For whatever, whatever that was. It worked for me and I was the first thing I ever saw of yours. That was the first thing I checked out. And it worked 'cause I was laughing 'cause then you'd go back, you'd turn around and the camera's going back to the guy that you could take in the fight. So the laugh was even just the angle. Just that you're looking at that guy. There's so many ways of getting it that I don't see in specials much and I don't know if it's even possible, but I am curious about that. You do one thing 'cause you're the kind of guy who likes to experiment. So we had done music videos for Brad Paisley, I've done a lot of his and we were lucky enough to win. You directed music videos? Yeah, I introduced him. I want a country music video award. And guess who was a backup singer in that one? Keith Irwin Swift. Put her in her first video. Really? Yep. Should we get Taylor Swift to draw out my special? He was already in the video. But anyway, you guys know what I always wanted to do though and they didn't have the guts to do it. I told Brad 'cause I did a bunch of them and they, like I said, I'll do it if we win a award. And we won on every when we did. I said, I would just love that I never see you. That you wear one of those cameras in the glasses or whatever. Do a meet and greet. I wanted him to do that because every meet and greet, it's such characters lined up. It's a friend of mine, new year mother from Newark. They're the same. They're the same setup. Somebody has a gift because they want to endear themself to you. And once they give it to you, they got a story to tell. And now it's the next time they see you. I'm the one who gave you the thing, but so there's types. And I said, I just want to do a music video where we never see you. You come out on stage and see the audience to cut to the meet and greet. And I just want to see the meet and greet. I have talk, I don't remember if I've talked about this here, but I have this idea of a special that where the opening is my closer. And it's three minutes and the whole special is just the meet and greet line. We're filming it and it's just junk. And you could do five shows, 20 shows. And you just jump out to the best thing. And it's just basically doing bits. I just love that because get releases from those people. Because if I had filmed every what we run the road in Australia and we play different cities, every meet and greet. I just sit there and watch and I'm dying. I'm just dying because it's as good as it gets. Yeah, it also is sweet because the impact you have on people. So there's so many things going on there. And it's crowd work with, it's crowd work by design. Yes, yes. And they're going to say, I don't know if you can do anything with it. But it was a real thing. Back in the day when HBO first started, Steve Martin broke big. And his first special on HBO, huge, huge everybody. Just rewatch Father the Bride two days ago, by the way. Oh my gosh, I don't know if I've seen it as an adult. I've seen it as his wife. Amazing. Oh, yeah, obviously, anyway, Steve is now doing a live show at Fairleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey. I'm there. The entire audience has seen the special and memorized it. So he comes out and people are going, do cat juggling, do let's get small, do and he goes show of hands. How many of you have HBO and everything goes up? And he goes, all right. Who would like to come up and do my act? Great. And he had people come up and do his bits and he sat in the audience and critiqued and heckled. It's one of the greatest nights. I've done that with friends where I would do their act. They do mine that night. The audience didn't know though. That's great. Fantastic. Dude, there's so you'll get it to get him on your podcast. Sure. There's some people that it's a level. Do either of us look like Conan Albert, I am to you? Or smartness or-- I can't get-- You're out of your friends to do my podcast. No, we get. I've been able to get unbelievable guests in my podcast before-- Not that my podcast is massive, but before people even knew what it was. Because of my relationships with these people. Sure. Do you remember the whole thing about I don't have friends? No, no. Here's a real answer. And he can't get-- Here's a real answer. I burned out my friends. We get people, here's the answer, baked back to what's the podcast about, what's stuff that makes it go really well. We consciously made an effort beginning. We don't want to just put-- everybody has on not to knock Gene Simmons, but everybody's interviewed Gene Simmons. We aren't a shatner because I'm close for Bill with 35 years, like really close to him. The shatner had a really no real-- And 90 years old, I went in space. And I got they asked him if they prepped him for that and gave him any kind of-- in case you have a heart attack. And he said, well, they told me that with the velocity up, it would revive me. Or the velocity down, it would revive me. And I said, Bill, did you believe I said, absolutely not. But he said fascinating. God Jason was the biggest fan of his-- From Boston, Illinois. And I ended up hiring him to do our sitcom. And Bill, he was nervous because I knew I'd make Jason nervous. In your show, it's with Shatner. And Shatner did it two episodes. He played the other-- if I was the fourth leading motivational speaker, he was number three. Jason's thing was how to get to the top, how to be at the top, how to stay at the top. I made Shatner your owny there. Your owny there. Just buy my book. It'll tell you how to enjoy being there. Completed. One of my favorite bits we never used it on the show is Bob Patterson, my character. Had written two books and was working on the third. The first book was, I know more than you by Bob Patterson. The second was, I still know more than you by Patterson. And we were working on, I'll always know more than you by Bob Patterson. I thought that was-- We're going to end this now. But I'm going to send you a message or figure out, talk to you. I'm going to give you either a little motivation or just, to me, what seems intuitive direction. And how to start getting some guests because I don't think you realize what your podcast would be as people who want to come on it. I don't think you realize how many people would want to come on your podcast. But again, Jason, don't I said, I don't want-- I don't want celebrity, but you know how to do it? You don't have to give us a tutorial. You make the calls. Yeah, it's not about, so it's not just about celebrity. Which there is a superficial part that exists to it. I acknowledge that it exists. It's friendships and relationships. And whenever that might mean to you, the roasts are bigger than they've ever been and they're doing a great job in those great comedians. And that's great. For better and for worse. I like them. And I miss when it was not necessarily people that I know, but these are friends of these people, roasting these people. I like to see that inside. Having those types of dynamics, one, it offers the opportunity of you potentially having people on who don't usually do that. Which you get to see them. And two, something I pride myself on in my podcast, also for better and for worse. You'll see somebody come in my podcast and that interview will not be like any other one. It might be worse than all the other ones, but it's not like any other one by design. You will have, if it's with your relationships, different than what you've seen them on other things, you're not interviewing them. That's another podcast that Peter and I have talked about. Which I really would love to do. Where you're too young, but you might know this referentially. The Joe Francoins show. I don't know anything else before 1996. Joe Franklin was a local New Jersey broadcaster on the local New Jersey affiliate. And he would have panels like on SNL, Billy Crystal used to do him. Here we go. "We have an award winning show tonight, my friends, our sponsors, Martin paints, Martin paints, and ain't just paints. Motzes by Hoffman for the unleavened experience of a lifetime, my friend." And he's doing a perfect Joe Franklin. And Joe Franklin would have a house painter, a guy who wrote an article for the star ledger on a wildlife encroachment, and Liza Manelli. That would be his panel. And he wouldn't, and he would ask Liza. Liza, what do you think of the job he did on the house painting? You would never, she was never the focus. - Great. - And he was not on questions. 'Cause he wasn't the best interviewer. And so he would say, I never were, magic dick from the T. Golds band. He'd said to the painter, "Do you have a question?" - "Do you have a question?" - This is a bit, or this is a real show. - No, this is a real show. - And he did it from his house. - By 38 years. - And I called him and had him on my radio show, and he goes, "Peter, you're not gonna believe." You know, I booked all my guests myself, and I answered the phone myself. He said, "Unless your wife's home." He did everything he could. - So we wanna do it. - We wanna do a show, a podcast called, Who did we get? Who did we get? - Who we got? - Who did we get? - Which would be like, you know. - But that's something. - Nothing.
and Brian Cranston. And we, and we, we just got Brian. What do you think of, what do you think of this breed? Do you like this breed? Is it a mixed breed? So you're talking about it. Brian, you think they overcharge when I do a strong service? That's the show we want to do. I think that's, I think that's fantastic. There goes 104 episodes with me. No, but no, no, wait, wait, give me a second. That, that is something that you do on really, no, really when it's available. Sure. It's just some episodes or that we need bookers. We need to hire people. We did an episode that we recorded yesterday. I don't know if it's ever going to make a day or we just talked about things that are annoying us. Just things that are annoying us. I don't think you guys realize what podcasts are. Oh, it's fantastic. That's all that it is. It's annoying. What's annoying me is how much I'm looking at somebody who I messaged you guys, maybe the first week that you guys came up with your podcast. I messaged the podcast account, saying how much I want you guys to come with my podcast immediately. And now you have, this is fantastic. You know, I know, but this is an important question. So are we now friends? Do I put you in the friend circle? I, I know I want to be. Yes. I feel that we're on similar frequencies with three of us. Yes. That's all I know. I have it. We, our entire interaction has been for entertainment for people outside. Right. I don't know. I would like to be. I do know that, I feel that there's value that I surprisingly can offer you guys that I would love to be able to help you with. What's funny is from my perspective. This whole thing was not about for people outside. It was getting to do this and hang with you. Would you have come over if it wasn't a podcast? Sure. Yes. You can invite me to arts. I know. You want to come with? I don't know if I can. How would we pass this? Rest of my eyes, by the way. I got no more eyes. No more. We'll pick up the tab. How about that? I have to check. I don't know if I can today, because I have a busy day. What else? I don't know if I can today. I have to look. It depends. I got, I got a haircut. No, I have to sound. Yeah. No, you might look fine. We're out. We're out. Need something. All right. I want to get a Polaroid and then have you guys sign it? Thank you for that. We're done. Thank you for that. We're going to put your son's stuff in the description. I'm going to reach out for some more and for some custom music that you're going to explore. Oh, fantastic. I love that. Can I take this? No, even as a joke, I'll never say yes. Just the same coloring as my dog, Pugley. And because it's part Pug, I get that they just want to be right next to you. If you like the coloring so much of Jason's clothes, why don't you let him dress you? Because it doesn't bother me that he, because you, by the way, when did Seinfeld go off the year? 99. I am not wearing one Seinfeld. He has half a clock. There's a clothing from Seinfeld. That's the idea while you're here. Uh-oh. Yeah, eventually I could put in a color swatch on me. Are you? Oh, wow. Oh, I've never opened it because I've never seen it. I haven't signed it on the plastic. Oh, well, why would it be Seinfeld, I don't believe. What would they change? Because what's your maid more of things? What would be? No, it's good. What do you think? Instead of buying, buying, I got to see what the playing pieces are. What are the little, what are the little? Oh, yeah, there's like a photo. Oh, there's a Fusili Jerry. This is actually awesome. Wow. Look at that. I want to get these all signed. There's a Fusili Jerry. There's a, there's a marble rye. What do you land on? There's a coffee table. And the non-fet yogurt shop are part-place. I don't know what this is. I don't care what we're doing now. This is making me so happy. I am so happy right now. This is. I'm as happy as that face. That's how happy I am. I'm so in love with this animal. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do I love you? This is fantastic. Oh, my God. You forgot all about him. Do you want to be able to resell it or should I put it to you? No, I want to, I want to get this put this on my wall. All right. If I go in an ebay in 20 minutes here, people including them and awfully, man, I'm going to get them to sign it. Very faint, unfortunately. Can I ask you one last question to headphone things? What are words, are there words, I guess? These are signal awards and those are webby awards. So, what's the, what is that? Most innovative video podcasts, both people's choice and the judges' choice, best comedy, individual episode, and guests. Those were all we own five of them last year. And now I'm needing again this year. I think. Is there a ceremony you go to? Yeah, I don't know. The webby award is a coil. Webby award is a coil, yeah. That's spring, giant bed spring, boy, it makes a sound. Yeah, and boy, or my arms, you know what? I actually, that's a, that's a cool award. It is a coil award. You know what else is cool about it? It can hold bills. You can put bills in there. You can put Monola envelope scenario. This is a bad sharpie. You're running out of juice. I know I ran, I ran out of, I ran out of my, my good one. Let me see what I got. Are we done? Am I pushing the microphone away? I don't know. Push away. Push away. Push away. I'm, you know what? I'm going to let things disturb me now. Oh, my wife called me. Yeah, we didn't do the ring. Cool. Beautiful. Beautiful. Can I hit your bathroom for a second? I would love it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
PodcastTranscript AI