Jared Freid on How Boomers and Millennials Can Get Along

Well, in this episode, a very funny comedian, Jared Fried joins me. Got a Netflix special coming out in a few days. We'll talk to him, also news with Rudy, and we'll do that right after this. Your next big win could be just a click away. From thrilling slot machines and classic table games, to immersive live dealer action, Bet Online brings the excitement of the casino right to your screen and when you're ready to switch gears. You'll also find the latest odds, player props and betting markets covering all your favorite sports. Visit Bet Online today for non-stop Vegas-style entertainment. Enjoy the freedom of online gaming at Bet Online, where the action moves with you and every moment is yours. Bet on at Bet Online. Hello and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean Girls. Side up. Tighten it. I'm the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Press nothing. They're free 24/7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. Adam's guest today. Community in Jared Freed. And the news with Rudy Chavez. And now Adam Corolla. Yeah. Get it on. Got to get it on. The choice of getting on your mandate. You get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend. Love that about you. Jared Freed is in studio. Very funny. Stand-up comedian. It's got a stand-up special. It's not available just yet. But it will be available very soon. And when you go to Netflix, you just tap it. You click it. And then you hit the reminder button. And then it'll be waiting for you the second it comes out of the oven. Love that reminder button. Yeah. Love it. Want it. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure. Sure. I mean, I gotta say, I go way back with this show. Music brings you back to a certain time. I used to download your radio show in 15-minute increments. It was my first podcast. Yeah. And I would put it on my iPod Nano and go to the gym for work before work. Wow. So it is really a pleasure to be here with you. Well, thank you. And, you know, talk a little, talk a little noise, you know. But, you know, the special, yeah. It's on the little preview page. You can watch a bit from it. It's all about, it's an hour about going to the beach with my parents. Yeah, it's very well crafted. Thank you. I watched it because I got a preview of it. When it comes to the joke that they choose for the preview on Netflix and this is not intended to be driven or pointed toward yours because I watched yours because I got the full episode. Right. But, you know, sometimes you watch those comedians things and you look at them and you go, not that funny for the 90-second snippet. And you're like, I hope the comedian has a say in what this is and it's not just some editor who has no sense of humor pulling a clip. You get a say, but it has to be a minute uninterrupted. Right. So it's, choose a few minutes. They say to you, give us a few options. Right. Of a minute. Right. From the special and then you start, you know, hacking away at your baby. Right. It's stressful because I want this, I want someone who's never come in contact with me to go. Oh my God. He's speaking to what I want to hear about, you know what? Right. And it is about my parents. It's about the millennial boomer relationship. It's all things I could say to you with, we could talk about for an hour, but like, I need you to sit. And then you know, when you go into a room, you're going to a stand-up club. I'm here for the show. Right. And at the end, I'll decide whether it was good or bad. On Netflix, do I want this? Do I, is this how I want to spend my night? So yeah, it makes me, it's incredibly nerve-racking to choose that minute. Yeah, you're kind of, as I was watching your show. In a way, you have a lot of kind of old school throwback comedian in you. And I don't know what that means exactly, but there's a mannerism. There's kind of an aesthetic. You know, sort of look like a guy from the 50s. Okay. A little bit like a barrel chested. I look like I could wear a barrel with two. I put like a super thin tie on you, and you do a martini. You'd fit right in. So you have a kind of a look. I appreciate it. And the other part is a stand-up-wise, like, it's got some storytelling, but there's, you know, there's a lot of acting, performing going on. It's not the dry sort of version that people are doing now. It's like almost, it could almost be like a one-man show. In the sense that it has a theme and it carries all the way through. And your mood, you know, you're animated. You're just gesticulating your voices, you know, raising and lowering. No, that's why I, it was a one-minute story that I turned into an hour. My dad asked me how much I weighed when we went to the beach. It happened in 2017. I was angry about it. And I have to say, I give you credit because I went home that day. We were at the beach. He asked me how much I weighed. We had a argument as I talk about in the special. It's the middle of the special. So I'm trying to bring you to that moment. And then I went home to my parents' house and they have like a pool house that's attached to the house. And I'm sleeping in there. Right. And I do a podcast. I did my benefit subscriber Patreon podcast where I went and tell stories. That's where I go to tell stories. And because of that little arena where I'm allowed to tell stories, I had the confidence to do it. You know, on stage, I didn't have, I had a special that came out on Netflix. It was a different version of me. It was me just trying to be funny. And this was like the story of my life, really. It's like I have body issues, my dad has body issues. We have the same shape body. Like my mom is always pushing food and then taking food away. So I was like, so I go and tell the story. And then I come in the house the next day. My dad listens to this podcast. This is the only thing he likes of mine. He hates everything I else I do. But this coffee with J train where I tell personal stories, he really enjoys it. And I come in the house, he goes, you got it all wrong. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, I just want to know how much you weigh. And I'm like, are we doing this again? He goes, I listen to the body. So I then go on stage to go to the comedy seller. And I'm like, trying to tell the story, it was bombing. It never worked. And I'm like, well, then I had another joke about vacation with my parents. I'm going to adult who vacations with his parents. And that was killing. So I'm like, okay, let me attach that on to the beginning. And then the set grows. It goes from five minutes to 15 to an hour. Because I got to explain my dad. I got to explain my mom. I got to explain our relationship. How I'm a guy who's 40 now. And on my parent's cell phone plan. Right. Which to some people they go, what a loser. And to other people, they're sitting there going, me too. Right. You know, and I'm speaking to a certain group, which is millennials who are closer to their parents. Can't stand their parents, but also love their parents. And let them pay for them to go to dinner. You know, and it's a real world thing. I had a thought. I had like a weird flashback fleeting thought. Yes, they're last night for some reason. I was picturing myself. There was a guy. His name was Larry. He ran a bike shop. And all the BMX kids would hang out at the pedal shop that Larry. Larry was a decent guy with a 70s mustache and had a van. Yeah. And it's like not the kind of guy you'd let your kids hang out with now. Like single dude bike shop took all loaded up the bikes, took all the BMX bikes to the track. You know, on Friday night at the kids club or whatever. We do the BMX racing and then we tool around with Larry and his van. And I was thinking, I was like 12 or 13 at the time. And the whole plan was to get away from your parents as far as you could, like as fast as you could. And also, but there was an interesting thing. It was about simulating an adult lifestyle. Like if you think about, you look at the movie Bad News Bears. Okay. Kelly leak is like the heavy. He's like 14 and he's smoking. He's riding a dirt bike with no helmet and stuff. And he's like easy rider except for the kids in the seventh grade. Right. And what the fuck? Women stuff their bras when they were 13. Guys pretended to smoke even if they weren't inhaling and they're cough. You know, no, I just, you know, I got this. Like the whole plan was to get your license when you're 15 and a half. You get your permit. You start smoking at 16. You get someone pregnant at 17. And you get as far away from your parents as you possibly can. But you also simulate adulthood. Right. Like there was a lot of, you know, you'd be 15. You'd be like, this dude's still a virgin. What are you talking about? Right now the 35 year old runaway like last, last summer, you know, like, hit me that cigarette. Stuff your bra, baby. Give me my learner's permit, my driver's license. It was all like simulation, like fucking fighting, smoking, drinking. I mean, they had something called near beer. It was just non-alcoholic beer. This guy's be sitting around puffing on a candied powder cigarette and drinking a non-alcoholic beer, pretending to be a 40 year old dude 12 but that was designed guys, you know? And then at some point, it turned and it turned into instead of 13 and 14 year olds acting like they're an adult, now we have 28 year olds acting like they're 13. Like, we went some different way and I started noticing it when I would talk to my adult buddies who all got their driver's license on their 16th birthday, like showed up at the CMV morning of their birthday to get a driver's license and they'd all go, I got a 90 year old son, he doesn't have a driver's license yet and they go, I don't get it, I don't get it. And then the next guy'd go, me too, my nephews, I have three nephews and they get a driver's license, I don't have like 20, my son didn't got, he's 20, he got his first car like a month and a half ago, didn't care. You have Uber, if you have the ability to go somewhere. You do have Uber, there's a pragmatic side but there's also kind of an emotional societal side. I don't think they work together a little bit, because you have the tool, you don't really, because I hear what you're saying. They work together. If you think about like, who would not get their license, it probably like kind of a loser wouldn't get their license back in the day, you know, so who wouldn't want to leave the house, so kind of a nerd, kind of guy who did that, had dear friends to go hang out with. Yeah. You know, we've created a world, you know, the nerds created a world in their image. Yeah. They inherited the urge. So you go, okay, I don't want to really leave, I don't want to have to get a car, I don't really need it. Yeah, I got Uber. Well, also they had parents willing to do shit for them, which my parents like, wouldn't never drive me places and do stuff, they just be like, figure it out or go right to it. Right. Nothing was harder than, you know, getting a ride to the movies for my mom, just my mom the whole time. What are you? Why do you get to get a ride from me? No one else can drive. Like my, I have like these visceral memories of my mom screaming at me. Why do I have to drive you to the movies and I'm like trying to work, you know, three calls at once with the friends I want to go to the movies, but my mom will won't drive me. Right. And I just wanted to wave from that nightmare. But again, I'm saying this as someone who's 41 and on the family plan lives 25 minutes for my parents now. I went, you know, I moved to Del Rey Florida, Del Rey Beach and they live in Boca. So I guess then the question is, is I was totally probably estranged from my parents. I think you would call it estranged and we technically live together, but not really like I was just gone and I didn't hang out with either one of them. We didn't have any money. So there wouldn't have been a vacation or anything like that. There was no spiritual, whatever. We were just gone. My parents wanted their kids out. I knew that about you, but did you find a relationship like your relationship with your kids now has to be totally different. It's totally different. Totally different. Like, I mean, the way that you guys hang out and the way you guys, you know, love each other has got to be like a complete 180. Oh, it is. It is different. Although there's always a little residue of like, I don't do it over them. I try to take care of them and I try to accommodate whatever it is they want, but I don't worry a lot for them. And also I don't need to like talk to them every day and I don't need to like, I can go a few weeks without seeing them or even like, I was like, jeez, my, you know, my, my kids are like really autonomous. Like, I'll go like, I'll like sit around last night and it's like, I've talked to my daughter in like a week. Whenever she is and then I'll go, oh, I should call her and then I think, wait, she never calls me either. Like they're just doing their, their thing with my dad or a lot of like, because my dad has never been, my dad's supportive, but he's not supportive. Like he is cynical. Yeah. He's like, he, like, I remember when I wanted to do comedy. He was like, oh, so it's like a business endeavor. Like he's supportive of me starting a business, but creatively, he's like, you're not funny. You know, like he doesn't find my, you know, when I talk about my parents, he goes, yeah, low hanging fruit. Talk about your old parents. Like he's giving me crap as he's bringing his friends to my show. Like there's no puffing me up. Like I mean, again, he asked me how much I weighed the beach while knowing I have body issues. He's not dancing around me. Now see, I don't pull any head trips on my kids and, uh, well, sort of head trips in the eye, the beholder, I, I imagine. And I have fucked around with them, you know, bus for your child a little bit. Are they in the family plan? Are they in the cell phone bill? Do you give them shit about that? I don't even know. I, I, all I, all I, I mean, you're picking a great weekend to come off of because I just spent the week in Monterey with my son at every major Bugatti party and hanging out with this guy. So he's living the, you know, he's living the life of that guy. Yeah. Yeah, he knows it. You know, he, he, he knows it. He's eating, you know, literally caviar and wagoo beef and all that kind of stuff. Like it's an incredible thing. I am basically all the perks without a lot of the headaches of, of a dad. I don't do a lot of, you know, you know, like he wants to, he wants to get into sports journalism. I go, good, but also the guy I met the track with, all those guys worked and did a lot of business and whatever. And one guy was painting with, had like a metal foundry or something. And so he'll go, hey, we should get Sonny a job at the metal foundry and I go, yeah, he'd, he'd be a good smelter. Yeah. What time's that start? 6 a.m. Okay. When he, when you knock off five, okay, who's going to work the smelting pot and he'll go, I don't know, but Sonny could work there and I go, he should work. Right. Kind of knows we're fucking around the whole time, but we're also calling him lazy and soft at the same time. As we should, but you also know that's not his future, you know, I do, you know, my thing is just like, look, do whatever you want, but you got to do, you got to do it. You got to work hard. Well, that was the thing about doing comedy. Like my parents had no understanding of it, but they knew I was doing something. Right. I was busting my ass, doing open mics, whatever it was. And I told my go, I mean, I had an economics degree from college and I was selling life insurance and annuities and then I'm like, I want to do comedy and I considered it like grad school. I want to take all the classes. I'm going to do it. Right. I think they knew that there was, I'm doing something and whatever that, but you know, I don't want to be a lazy person. I don't want to be someone who doesn't work or doesn't provide. You know, I think that's a, if you see it in them, like, you know, he says sports journalism, you're sitting there going, there's no such thing anymore. Holy crap. They're firing everyone at ESPN, but what do you say as long as he's working hard? Well, you know, my problem is, is he knows like Bill Simmons is a good friend of mine. And as many other guys who are in that, in that world play Travis and stuff like that. He kind of knows I could hook him up and go, you know, give the kid a job. But he's not, it's not like he came up to and said, well, you know them. No, no, no. He wouldn't do that. He's like a subtle thin line between the two, you know, yeah, yeah. But, you know, it's like my daughter interned for Mark Garvos, the attorney, and then got a job over at Kimmel's show, you know, so it's like they kind of know they're on the inside, but they work hard and they show up and they do all that shit. But here's really the question. The real question is, is when you have hovering sort of hands off parents, and not even I shouldn't use the word hovering, my parents are just completely done with their kids by the time we were like 11, they just had no thoughts about, they didn't have thoughts about anything other than not paying for anything ever or doing anything. And so the good news is, you don't get guilt trips and you don't, where are my grandkids? And, you know, you're almost 30 when you're going to make something in your life or, you know, I had no speeches, no discussions, no, you know, I talked to a comedian's all day. They go, yeah, I had to tell my parents I didn't want to go to law school, my dad was really disappointed. Like, what did your dad say when you told him, I didn't tell him anything, he never asked, he didn't care, he doesn't know what I do, like I just did, I just worked, you know? Knowing you and knowing your, you know, life with your parents, I know that it's like a very different thing. Like, I always consider my parents like board members, you know, like they're on the board of the company, I have to listen to them, I have to, and I think most people do, I think there's a large group of people, especially around my age, where you know your parents are involved in your life in a way that their parents weren't involved in their life. Yeah. And it's not a thing of like, I'm not sitting there like waiting for them to give me a dollar. I'm sitting there being like, I do ask for their opinion. Yeah. They give it without me asking. Well, I do care about their opinion. When we, you know, when I, today, what are you doing today? You know, they give me opinions. Where are you going? What's podcast are you doing? They're like in on it and they're like, well, I would call your manager and I'm like, like, I have to like listen to them, but I also don't have to listen to them. Like, I'm the, the CEO of, you know, this chubby body. I have to do it. There's a lot of, I realize it's a generational thing because like, when you talk to younger people, not young, not 20, but like 40, they'll go like, we got such a kid up. Like, was she got to get some property, get some rental property? Like near a college and then he can rent it out to college. You got. And then you go, what? And they go, well, what are you going to do with Sonny? I mean, who are you? Come on. Now you got to set him up. Right. What's going to happen to him? And I go, I don't know. or something? - Right. - Yeah, come on, that's not fair. Now, what are we gonna do? And I'm like, I don't know, he can leave and then go work and then go fucking figure it out. That's how every human being I grew up with. That's all this, there was my discussion. - My dad always say, everyone's gotta work. Everyone's gotta work. And it's like, he's more towards you on this scenario because he does have friends who I'm sure have done that for their kids. He's done me, you know, great things in other ways, but it is, I do think it's generational. I mean, when you hear people talk about their in-laws, you know, in dealing with their in-laws. And okay, they're taking us on vacation. We're gonna go on vacation with my in-laws, but that means I kind of have to listen to them in this other way and they help with childcare. You know, my mother-in-law comes over, takes care of the kids. So now we have to deal with her in a different way. And again, you know, millennials are the first generation to do financially worse than their parents. Like, that's a truth. So like, how does that kind of. - It was weird. - How does that grow, you know? - I had all these conversations with Dr. Drew a million years ago, like in the late '90s. I sort of, I remember looking at him. He had, he has triplets and his triplets. At the time were, I remember like eight or nine years old or something and I said, you know, Drew, your kids are not gonna live in as big a house as they grew up in and I don't think my kids are either. And that's kind of interesting because we always, I grew up in a shack with no air conditioning, like one bathroom, like it was, when I moved to my first apartment with my first roommate, I was already doing better than my parents. And the second I bought my first pickup truck, I was doing better than like Corolla. I mean, it was so easy to surpass them and it's gotta be weird growing up in 7,000 square feet and now looking for a 1200 square foot condo in receipta, you know. - And then trying to tell your parents why you're upset. - Right. - You know, they go, my, you know, my dad just go get alone. - Right. - Just go get, you know, the money, you know, it's not the same as it was, you know, my parent, I talk about it in the special. Take your resume, bring it to the office door. Like you, we're gonna hear stories about Hollywood. I'm sure it's the same thing when you hear about like, well, you know, the, the Smothers Brothers, I was just, you know, walking down the street and they said, get in here. Let's write a comedy show and you're like, what? - Yeah. - You know, like that, there's no relation to that today. - You go to Schwab's and be discovered. - Right, you know. - It's not the, you know, how would happen then is not how it happens now and it's like, and you kind of have to explain that to them as they don't get it, you know, and that's the hard, the hard truth of it is like, it's difficult. It's a mind-fuck. - Everyone is guilty of that sort of what's in their head and what they grew up with versus what's in everyone else's head. There's still a little bit of a right and a wrong. Like I can remember talking to people, like when my son was, I don't know, 16 and especially women. And I'd go, well, I'm gonna get a job at McDonald's. And they'd go, no, come on, he's not gonna work at McDonald. I'd go, why not? Why shouldn't he do to work at McDonald's? I go, so we can learn how to work. So we can learn what he doesn't want to do. I work at McDonald's. - You had to work at McDonald's. I go, okay, that's fine, but I learned how to work. Listen, Sonny Corolla, his dad's a big comedian. He's not gonna be working at a McDonald's. I go, I'm not doing it for the cat. - No, I want him to learn how to work. - I said this about my parents all the time. They're 10% right every time. My parents are always 10% right. My dad's asked me how much I weigh at the beach because he's 10% right that I'm overweight. You know, he's not all the way right. He's not doing it the right way, but parents, that's the problem. That's why parents are enraging. They're always at least 10% right. And when you're saying it's correct, I get a son. I want him to go get a job, to besmirch, you know, as the great Bob Backlin once I, to like look badly on McDonald's. Like that's a shitty thing to say. You know, like it's a good place to work and people who have to work there, but also a good place to learn how to work. You're right. - Every, first of, almost every successful person, like multi-millionaire talked to him with tell some story about used to work at McDonald's. - Right, they all have the story. - And now politicians are lying about working at McDonald's. Like Kamala Harris said she worked at McDonald's. They're doing stolen valor for McDonald's now. They're now photoshopping themselves in McDonald's. Uniforms over a 16 year old, because they're actually trying to retroactively work at McDonald's. - Can you get me in touch with her photoshopping person? I think I could do. I had rich parents. - We have, we could put you on a machine, right? - I want to get it. - Remember that picture, Kamala? That was put like put over another check. It's so, we live in a weird world. We live in a world with all the information everywhere all the time and then none of it. She's like, I worked at McDonald's. When was that? I was in Canada, which one? I don't know. - Like it was your manager. I don't remember. Like it's like, I worked at a studio city when my manager was Ken. He had a sign, said time to lean, time to clean. I worked at grill. I'll give you all the grill lingo. If you want the grill lingo, I can tell you the grill lingo. - It's a weird world of like, what do you know? You have to be totally honest about everything. Like the internet will find it. And it's like, that's the reality, you know? - Well, sort of yes and sort of no. 'Cause it's sort of like, they will find it, but then what? - Because everything matters and nothing matters at the same time too. - Right, so what are they gonna do? - You know, like, whatever, you move on. Like the people that can kind of release themselves from an internet comment are probably the smart, you know, the people that are living the best. - Right. - You know, like, so, I don't know. I, I, so is it good? So the parents, so there's a sort of conundrum. Like, the guy who would have them involved? - Well, here's, here's what I found. - Sure. - There'll be the stepdaughter and she'll go, my stepdad leases me in Mercedes. And the other day, he came home and said it was a mess and told me to go out and wash it. And he's not the boss of me kind of thing. And I'll go, as long as he's paying the lease, then he gets a vote. And I know you resent him. But go lease your own Mercedes and then you won't have to listen to what that old man says, but they never lease their own Mercedes. They just resent the guy told him to go wash it. - I can afford to be on my own cell phone plan. You know, that's, that's the thing. Like, I think I like that they pay for it. And then, because I, I listen, I did this show that you saw for two and a half years on the road. I did it in the US, Canada, Australia, Europe, New Zealand. I did it everywhere. It worked everywhere. And there was this connection of like, I'm on the family plan. It's not that big a deal. It is kind of weird. But also, I'm not looking to jump off and pay 50 bucks a month that I'd have to pay. - I would take, I would take whatever in my family created it. - Right. And you go, I'll take it as long as I can. And I even say, they can pay the, the day they die. You know, like, but I, you know, the thing, I think what makes it a lot easier is like, I did get off the family plan once. I remember it was like seven years ago. My dad was like, you're using all the debt. It was when dad had a cost money. And I'm like, and I'm downloading the Adam Corolla show. And he's like, he goes, your dad is crazy. I go, I don't know how to stop it from automatically downloading. He goes, get off the fucking plan. And then I got off the plan. And then I remember like, four years ago, he was like, I was at T-Mobile. They're running a deal. If you want to come back. - Oh. - And he goes, it's 50 bucks to add on. What are you paying now? You know, I do think also, when it comes to, I believe this with my relationship. I believe this with my family. We are a better as a unit. You know, we have better buying power. We have better economically, if you think of the economics of it, like you with your girlfriend teaming up to like, you know, to buy something together, you're going to be able to get a nicer place than you would on your own. And you're going to, the economics of family working together as one ship. I mean like, I think that's how like, what you're talking about with your son. You know, I have the connections. - No, I listen. - That's to make him a better adult because of the world that you created. - 100%. I think it is a very Jewish trait, although it makes it into other cultures as well. The cultures that have the most of that working for them are the ones that work the best. I mean, I'll give an example. Example or be like, if you do a car race and you're just alone in your car, you might win or you might lose, but if you have a teammate, your teammate can go and you can draft your teammate. - Okay, yeah, and you can make them faster. - You're not going to win the race for you, but you can draft them and in turn, you could block other people while they, you know, took off. And it's like, you're on the same team. And it doesn't guarantee a podium finish. It just helps, you know? And if you live in every man for themselves, kind of family, there's a culture, how I grew up, it just everyone just took off and went their own direction. - Right. - Then you, it's not that you can't have success. It just, Doesn't create an environment where it's easier to have success one of my I'll tell you when I make sure I'll tell you a great a great one for my family. I remember once I Had a bunch of parking That got parking tickets, but they could have been moving violations. I don't remember what they were But I was I was sitting in my mom's house and I was eating dinner. I was like 19. I work for Hoffman travel on Fentura Boulevard and I said I was trying to see I owed about five or six hundred bucks and Warned I had like a warrant for like five fifty or something. I didn't have any money at all So I said I said to my mom and my stepdad I was kind of see if I could throw myself on the mercy of their court I got I got all these Warns and if I get pulled over I'm getting arrested and I'm working up at Hoffman Travels on Ventura Boulevard. It was a Ventura was notoriously Crawling with cops. I would get tickets on Ventura Boulevard. I go I got to go to work every morning I'm scared to drive my motorcycle on Ventura I've got all these wars. I don't have the money. I got to pay off the wars I don't have the money. I'm gonna get arrested. I was kind of Hoping they go yeah, they go. What is it? What's it? What's it? I don't go five hundred bucks And well the best I was hoping for is how much and I'd go five hundred and they go What if we paid the warrant and then you just gave us like a hundred bucks a month or the next five months or something Which I would have agreed to right but my mom pause and she went, you know Valley spring lane runs along Ventura Boulevard and it's a side street and it runs the whole length and then you could turn up Whits it go to and I go Okay, right and the next morning I was arrested on Valley spring lane because there was a cop there But did they have to pay for that at that my parents no, no, no was I knew they were out Well, you're sick. I called I got three of my friends to all pony up I got him I called three of my friends who were basically broke Actually one Todd Euler who went to UCL. He was Jewish. Yeah, his dad was the head of the bar or whatever out here He was actually had stuff So Todd came up with like the lion's share of it. It was like 300 bucks Ray and Chris came up the hundred each They bailed me out of the North Hollywood precinct and I paid them all off like the next six months You talk about this. It's funny. I do a bit about the boomer. Hello It's the boom because my parents live in a country club community in Boca But it's really the Jewish hello and it's what you're talking about and I get it from all their friends They refer to you as your profession. They ask an invasive question about a profession And then they try to introduce you to someone who doesn't do your profession right and it's every time are you the comedian Money doing that. You're gonna meet my nephew. He's a juggler Right, that's every right hello, and it's really annoying But it comes from a place of like connecting I got to put you with the juggler you and the juggler can do a bit on the road And you're like you're like I can't think of a worse nightmare for myself is me and then I'm sitting there But I do because I love my parents and I'm gonna be respectful their friends. I'm sitting there writing down, you know Yeah, okay, so is it Josh the juggler at gmail.com. That's why email right you know because and then a little bit of you goes Why what's wrong with connecting with the juggler? You know, maybe we do become the comedy but that is kind of the heart of every Introduction. Yeah, so the Jews sort of keep the family tight do a lot of networking right and There's a little shame Healthy dusting of shame. There's a healthy amount of shame sure like there There really is like if you're going in your 13th year of junior college a little shame in there You will not avoid that. Well, that's all you'll hear about will help right and and Then there is a sort of you know rising tide lifts all boats and then there's a sort of success that comes from that and I studied it Like Jane Goodall studies Jim's like I study Jews like she's studying I mean, I was at everywhere I did this show Jewish people would come up to me and you said it's a story. It has a through line. I do the show with theaters like I There's a people came you know and of all groups and everyone laughed and every Jew that came up to me They go does anyone else get it right? And I'd be like what do you mean? They just were in the room? They're all there They're all there into them. I'm speaking so specifically about myself because that's all I do on stage I talk about myself right and then I try to make it funny, you know, and they're going who else could get this and I'm like anyone could get this You know like but it's there's such a There's almost like a like like worthy only ones on earth, you know that goes on when you hear something so specific about someone Yeah, I think a lot of anti-Semitism is just kind of envy and then resent and envy But a lot of it's envy because I've never been able to really Figure out what there isn't to like about Jews other than Certain, you know, there's your mom will be happy to hear that she's gonna listen to this. There's certain overjoyed She's gonna go I knew I always like that Adam Karola. I always love Jews that that was my my thing because I Studied them and I studied Gentiles like all at the same time and I was like these fucking guys are losers over here And the Jews are winners. I didn't say it, but it's true. I'm just nodding my head in agreement. No, no it is It is true and you go watch my I did a trailer for the special and I went I brought camera crew down to film my parents Oh really and yeah, it's an episode of Seinfeld like it's crazy and my dad literally looks at the camera He goes he's not fat. He's just thick and big and look at him. Yeah, yeah That's his line that was a line that anyone would write. Yeah, you're like that's a written line that he just Was saying right, you know, he just has the like again. We're so close and they're just so themselves, right? You know that it's it was just and and people watch that They're like oh my god your parents are crazy. I'm like that was just a Tuesday, right? That's just I think they call it hoots But that's what's your dad do he used to be in the liquor business. He was wholesale. He was a liquor beer and wine in the mass Tuesday area, so he sold to like the he sold to like the you know the liquor shop and stuff. No, there was no casinos Oh, it was liquor is only the state of mass Tuesday's liquor shops and restaurants and So he did that he was like on the on the road taking orders and All around the state. That was what he did. So we always had like I you know, I'm 12 years old walking around in a Kallua t-shirt All right, we had all the merch sure so dad was like a business guy, right, but I always say my parents, you know, bring it back to Jewish we were salesmen Jews. Yeah, you know, there's like doctor Jews. There's like tote Jew and then there's like salesmen Jew and that's like what my What's a tote like the you know wearing a tote and like they were more like, you know, well-read and professors Yeah, they're scholarly Jew. There's doctor Jew. There's attorney Jew and then there's salesmen Jew and then there's salesmen Jew A rag salesman and in Michigan like schmatzas, you know, he did the sticky cloths that clean the cars and Detroit. Right. So that was like his family's business, wow, man. That's right. So it's interesting. So there is yeah, so nobody And it's interesting. I'm sure the attorney and doctor Jews look down on the sales Jews. I would assume it's a different personality like my family like we were more Italian looking than we were Jewish like my family on Sundays, we would go to my grandparents house and do a Sunday like when I heard about Sunday sauce, I didn't know what that was. But every we would go to my grandparents house. My grandfather cooked all the meals. He was a butcher. So like my grandfather cooked while my grandmother yelled at him. Right. And then my dad had three siblings. All the cousins would come over. We'd all be swimming in the pool in our Speedos. We looked like we were out of, you know, sopranos like it was and if anyone looked at us, we all look, we all talk features. Yeah, you do. You do have the sound also the tone of the Italian tone and you have you have the swar the look Italian really got, you know, I always used to say, um, Jews are like smart Italians and Italians are like good looking Jews. But you've got both. Yeah, yeah, I used to have a joke. I would do someone say, you know, Merry Christmas. I'd be like, thank you. That means you think I'm good looking enough to be Italian, you know, like I yeah, because they traditionally got the features, but not always the mindset, although I will say after just getting back from a Pebble Beach and seeing all the cars, Friars and Bits arenis and Bugatti's and that's all Italian. All the most the most beautiful stuff in the world was all just made needle like the sick craftsmanship and also like who would put the old Jew would look at that car and go, we don't need to spend on that. Yeah, who would need that we can find a guy. I got an uncle who does, you know, a car. Yeah, it would be like the speed limits 55. Why do you need to go three times the speed limit? You can just go 60 and you're done, you know, I mean, we'll get there an hour later, but we'll be a little safer. Yeah, yeah, Jews are more safety oriented and there's no stuntman. There's no evil, can evil Jew, you know, there's no Travis restaurant. That's what Jews do stand up like that's the most dangerous we get. You know, I'll take where you do your stunt work. - Where's that? - Eating, tongue, and chicken liver, almost and stuff. You do crazy ass, pickled herring, and all the aspect, and all, I know, but you eat, evil can evil would not eat this shit. My Jewish grandfather ate, 'cause he'd go, fuck, I'm not gonna eat cold cod and gelatinous mess. That's bullshit. - Right. - And they love, I'm like, "Jewish grads, I could only get some goose liver." - Some goose liver, and I was like, I don't want that shit. I was cold cod. - What's the place in New York? It's on the Upper West side, the Sturgeon King. And my dad was like, I gotta try it. Like he was so excited from Sturgeon. I was like, no one would be drooling over the Sturgeon they could be having. - Yeah, my poor grandfather was step grandfather. So I'm not Jewish, but he was a good Jewish guy. And in North Hollywood, when they opened, they're about to open the Wiener Schnitzel in North Hollywood. But it wasn't open yet, but he'd see the sign and he'd go, finally, I can get some Schnitzel. (laughing) - He's tap dreaming. - Dreaming of that. You got a fucking corn dog with ketchup on it. You never even went there. But it was so, I could see it through his eyes. He's from Hungary and he missed all that food. He wanted all that food and he was stuck in North Hollywood. And there was none of that food anywhere. But when he saw Der Wiener Schnitzel, back when it was 1972, like there was a new one, Der Wiener Schnitzel was, all he saw was this sign and went, oh, finally, look at my hands on Schnitzel. Yeah, so he was a stunt eater. - Yeah, I mean, the Jews are stunt eater. - The way we eat is like crazy, like it's just, but the shame that goes, as he's talking about the shame, it's eating, eating, eating, eating. And then how could you eat like that? You know, we used to eat dinner in six minutes growing up. - Really. - Sit, we were so quick and fat, you know, just like, - Hicks, you know. - What did your mom, did she have, oh, here's the question. All right, I got to ask this. - Sure. - There's a lot of measuring sticks. We try to measure like a mom's love for her son. - Okay. - And sometimes people would go like. - I can tell you, no one loves me more than my mom. I don't think so. I'm the bigger genius. You can't believe that I'm even here promoting a special. We're going to figure this out. They can go, well, my mom was always up in the stands of my little league game, you know, or my mom would drive me to school every morning or whatever, but there's a lot of versions of it. My mom was tough, but man, she loved me, but she was tough. Sandwich, I figured out we can figure out whose moms love them the most by the sandwiches they made. Because a sandwich is a metaphor for love. It's, I'm feeding you, and I'm going to take time. Like, so Dr. Drew had a shit sandwich mom, because his mom didn't love him. And then I had a zero sandwich mom. There was such a thing as no sandwiches, which is the bottom of the barrel. Andro over here, when Drew found out that his mom made him sandwiches and toasted the bread, Drew didn't even know that was an option. - Toast, toast. - Toast is a toaster. - Toast his mom is, his mom loved Andro. - Well, that's a thing. My mom was the type that put fat-free, no, you know, it was all like stuff to make it so I couldn't gain weight. But I went to summer camp growing up, and my friend went to visit the summer camp, and they found my original letter to the parents. They have the parents fill up, they have the parents fill in a bio. And he found the one that my mom filled out when I was eight years old and it says on it, it literally says he loves to eat, don't feed him. - That's like they're talking about a pet, they're dropping off. - That's how, the loves eat, don't feed him. You won't stop, he loves food, don't feed him. - That's my mom. - You dropped like a goat off at somebody farm, right? - That's how the dog gets food. - He'll eat himself to death. - Right, just come on, be careful. Don't feed him too much. I mean, when I told my, my mom at first with, she loves me, but she's also like, my mom also wants to be considered a good mom. So that's why like, if you become a lawyer or a doctor, when a mom says my son is a doctor, every mom backs off, that's a good mom. - Right, right. - By, you know, you made a doctor, you're a good mom. So my mom in the beginning was like, what am I gonna say to, you could feel that from her, like I'll say you're a right, you know, my grandfather wanted to know what I was doing. He's a writer, my mom would say that and stop it, because it was more understandable. And I remember like, I was like three years in and I'm bombing and my mom came with my dad to a show, not one laugh, and then I hear my mom laughing at me, not getting laughed. So she like, my mom is like the funny one. Like she's like, my dad is cynical, my mom's a performer. So I'm both, I'm a combination of the two. But she, when I heard, I said the crowd go, the only one laughing right now is my fucking mom. And everyone turned, saw her laughing at me, bombing. And then everyone laughed, and then went back to not laughing again. I went back to bombing. You know, it was the only funny moment. - So what was the locale sandwich your mom would try to prepare? - Turkey, holy bread, no cheese mustard done. - Oh, really? - That's it. Big mustard family. - Yeah, yeah. - I love a mustard. - I love a mustard. - I love mustard. - Spicy brown, french yellow, I love a mustard. I think that's my writer, local mustard. - Local mustard. - I always ask for local chips, local mustard. - You can't go wrong with mustard. - Yeah, I love it. I can't understand people who don't like mustard. - Look. - It's a no fat. Well, it's also like the body issues part of me. And that's why my mom gave me mustard. It's a high taste, no calorie item. - Yeah. - So it's only, if I brought mayonnaise into my parents house, it would be like I brought a bunch of viking and start sniffing all at the table. - Right, right. - Like it wouldn't work. - Yeah, the people who are adults who put ketchup on their hot dog with no mustard, I'm like. - I'm out. - I'm out. - I'm out. - No, it's mustard. I mean, do you like Italian sausage with peppers and onions? - I'm gonna say this about me. I like everything that's good. And all you can suck my dick. 'Cause I'm tired of people going, "Oh, I don't like thin crust." - No, right. - If it's good, I like it. - So here's the Italian sausage with pepper and onion is fucking good, fuck right off. - Put it in the good pile. Yeah, no, I had someone right back to me. I remember I put on Instagram. It was hummus on a plate and this woman wrote back, "Oh, and I'm like, no, no, hummus good." - It's all good. - We like it. - Everything that's good is good. - Right, right. The jury is not out on hummus. We know it's good, it's delicious. We eat it so much that we shit our pants. Like it's crazy. I can't agree with you more than this. And there's a little room for me, like people go, "Well, what kind of pizza?" I go, "Well, thin, a New York style, full of it in half." You know, I go, like, I got five. - We got that. - Oh, you ever been to Chicago and had you, yeah, that's good. - That's fine. - It's not as good as what I'm talking about, but it's good. We can argue a little about toppings here and there. I like sausage and onion. You like pepperoni, fine, that nine year olds like it, fine. But fine, I don't want ketchup on a hotdog 'cause it's no fucking good. - If you're bringing in your new take, it has to be an artistic take that you're like, willing to put your merit on the line. - Yes. - And when I go on the road and you probably have this too, I'll go, "Hey, I'm in Des Moines." Where should I go? And then someone, the person with the least amount of opinion is like the worst. They'll go, "What do you. " Everyone wants to act like they know stuff, but then in the minute you're put, where should I go in Des Moines? They go, "Well, what do you in the mood for?" No, fuck off, fuck off. I got one night in Des Moines, make it a city, put your name on it. - Yeah. - Tell me the place you want me to go. What do you in the mood for? - Chick for light, bitch. - What the fuck are you talking about? - I agree. - What do you mean in the mood for New York pizza in Des Moines? - Right. - I want the thing you, you have one night here. - Yes. - Where are you sending me? Let me judge you. - Yes. - I have respect to anyone that lets you go. Yeah, I didn't like what you thought was good. - Yeah. - You know, like that's. - I'll tell you, I had a crowd turn on me, a food-based local crowd. - What was it? - What sound? - Turn on me. - Well, I love local stuff. - I've had a couple. - I've had a couple. I had Permanties and Pittsburgh built up. - No good. - No good. - No good. - It's no good. - I mean, we're gonna hear about it. - But I had that shit built up from Dave Damishack and from Beaver fucking Falls. I was just talking about Permanties for years and years and years and I finally got there and I ordered the fucking sandwich. - It's an unspiced fry on a bad meat and the coleslaw, whatever they put on it, it's too much of it. The bread doesn't hold up to it. It should be on a harder bread. It's never, it should be on a roll. It doesn't work and it's because, you know, the cities that don't have, you know, like they have to, like the best food city in the world is Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. That's the best city for food in the world because, but the problem is the people who are, the PR spokespeople for Philadelphia are gross disgusting people who are like, get a Philly Whiz with Philly G's date. It's like, no, no, no, you have some of the best most-- - I want fucking Prove alone, by the way. - Whatever it is. - I don't choose Whiz. - Oh, I want, but they have a thousand chefs there that are doing their thing. - Yeah. - And you have to hear from like the biggest city at Pittsburgh is a great city with great restaurants. They actually have like inventive things there and you're sitting there and they have a little Italy. They have, they have, there's a coffee shop in their little Italy section. There's like the best coffee I've ever had, but I gotta hear about Permanties in the bush. You should, you know, French fries sandwich. - Yeah. - I mean, you, did they turn on you? - Yeah, well, they turn on me, but not, not. - Who turned the whippers? - By the way, I don't know, you're building your, you're building your series, your city on a sandwich. It's kind of like when, you go, you know, female black and veners invented the ironing board. It's like, okay, okay, that's not, we don't have to do that. - They got you. - Oh, that was Anchorage, Alaska. - What are they known for? - Well, I was fishing, I was salmon fishing and eating salmon that we pulled right out of the river for like three days. And then I got in front of the crowd in Anchorage and I go, look, this shit, I ate your fresh salmon for the last three days. It tastes exactly the same as the frozen shit I get from Trader Joe's. And by the way, that's a tip of the cap to Trader Joe. It's not a tack on your culture. They fucking hate it. - Well, it is less of a review of Anchorage and more of a review of the preservation abilities we have as a country. That's actually-- - Fast-freezing. - Right, that's a tip of the cap to Trader Joe's. - They don't look at a cap to America. - I agree. - And our ability, like I have this coffee-- - Not the way they heard it. - They flash freeze coffee. This company, I've been sponsored by them. It's my favorite coffee. They bought a fishery to flash freeze coffee when it's made. And it's the best coffee ever. It's called Cometier. They've sponsored me, you know, to be perfectly honest. They've given me money. I love it only because I'm drinking there. I love it, I love it. But the ability to flash freeze. - Yes. - The ability to have crab legs in Des Moines. - I wish you were with-- - It's an American feat. - I wish you were with me on stage. - Right, I don't know. - That's explain this to the partisan crab. - Well, people get very-- - They were booing so loud. I don't think they would have heard you. - Right. Well, Homerism is at an all-time high because we're looking for connections. Like we're looking for our group in the weirdest way because we've lost, because now we live in a country where you can have the same street and any city you go to. - Yes. - You know, people are like, "I love wall-wall." They're like huge fans of like wall-wall and sheets and you're like, "No, they're okay." They're grocery stores. - I know, oh, wall-wall and sheets. - Those are the 7-Elevens at a gas station in Pennsylvania. - Oh, oh, I get it. Oh, yes, I've seen that, yes. - But we've lost local commercials. I love, like, I'm from outside of Boston. If I sing "Bernie and Fills" quality, comfort, and price, that's right. Someone is listening right now being like, "Holy shit, I know this guy." Like, I know where he grew up. I know where he lives. We've lost that. - ♪ Peter Lestage long be tree way ♪ ♪ Far stone exit Southgate ♪ - Someone is listening right now, feeling so good. I love a jingle and it's gone. You know, like, and now you're saying, now you go to Anchorage, Alaska. They don't have any commercials to like have in common. Like, we love the fish here more than anywhere else in the fucking world. - Where's the, where do you get the Z-Man sandwich? That's the place. That's the sandwich. - I've heard of the sandwich. - The Z-Man, that's at the barbecue place. - No, the Z-Man is in Kansas City. - Kansas City. - Is that where it is? - Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm still saying barbecue because it's a barbecue place in Kansas City. - Yeah, there's you and Michael Augustin. - But that is awesome. - Z-Man is good, but there's another place in Kansas City that I went to that I was like doing a video from. I'm like, this is the best barbecue I've ever had. They're like, that's Kansas City, Kansas. Everyone was mad at me because I'm like, that's not the best barbecue in Kansas City. I was like, if I don't know where I am, I'm in the city on that. You know, like I'm not in, I'm in Kansas City. Wherever the fuck? - I'm with you in that you're supposed to eat something that the town is famous for or interesting about. I always, whenever I go to, like you go to Minneapolis. - Yeah, the Jesse Luce. - And I go to Kramerchecks, and I go to the Polish Hungarian place and get like the sour crowd and the schnitzels and the chicken popra cash and the goulash and all this shit I can't get in LA. - I do the same thing. Well, Kansas City's the worst city for that because they make you feel bad no matter where you go. So you'll be like, if you go on stage in Kansas City and be like, I went to Slaps today, they'll be like, oh my god, you went to the wrong place. It's like, can you let me have the win? I'm here for 24 hours. Like I'm not going, they're like, you gotta go to these three places. Like, do you think I'm eating like six meals of barbecue while I'm here? - Yeah. - Like that's a crazy ass. - I'll tell you another, I'll tell you a disappointment. In the, on the disappointment tour that we're on, let's piss off some cities. - Yeah, Permanty's Pittsburgh. That was number one. - You can watch my special on Netflix September 1st. Number two was Detroit and the Coney Island dog. - The Coney is a, yeah, it's a Coney Island dog. - I want to be the one to try. I love Detroit, but that's not. - Well, I don't, I love Detroit as well. But that Coney Island dog got built up. Pretty damn big. And I know the Coney's in studio city and get a much better dog. - I know, I'm from Southfield. My grandparents, my whole family's in Detroit, half my family's in Detroit. The Coney is, it's pretty bad. I mean, if anything, it's not as bad as the Dodger dog, but it's bad. - It's bad because it's like, it's drunk food. Whenever your time, whenever your city is known for drunk food, you're getting a drunk critique. So like, of course, it's the best night of your life. You're eating food that you don't remember in the morning. You can't brag about the drunk food. The food is good in that moment. It's a mindset. So, you know, when I go to, you know, you want Middle Eastern food to try. You want, you want like a good swarma there. It's gonna be unbelievable, like you have the best. - Yeah, but I'm in Glendale. So I can get plenty of swarma here. - You go, well, what's the difference? Am I gonna get, I think we live in a world of like, efficiency. I want to be told where to go. And I want less choice. - Less choice, yeah, great. - I want like, I want, go to a city. You got, this is where they do it best. I mean, that's why Philly, like, so many of those chefs that are doing it like in ways you haven't seen. Like it's like, and just like, also they have the money in New York. You can't really, a young chef can't get a place in New York. They can, and there's more room, you know? - Coney Island dog, another part is obviously, there's two of them in the right next door to each other. I don't know if you know that part. - The Coney Dog in Detroit? - Yes. - Well, it's also a food that's named after another city. Like, you can't, that's another thing that I would be like, Detroit, come on. Detroit style pizza, it's good, but I don't, I think that's like a newer thing. Like I think they like, decided on that. - Well, I don't remember that, getting that out of your mouth. - I'll put it to you this way. There are certain things that are hard to fuck up. And if you go like Detroit style, I guess a thicker crust or like Chicago style, you got all this dough, you have all the tomato sauce, you get the meats, you got the cheese all melted. It's like, how are you really going to fuck that up? It's a worse, it's an open-faced great sandwich, you know. But it's not pizza, it's something else, which is fine. - Well, that's what I talk about bagels. Like there's sourdough bagels here in LA. I think that should be called the LA bagels. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Because that's not a New York bagel, but to compare the two is not fair, I don't know. - Let me tell you my greatest pet peeve. - Okay. - In bagels. - We might disagree here, 'cause I-- - I don't, I don't think you're gonna do it. - Okay. - Bagels, it works for bagels. It works for doughnuts and it works for degeneral food that people put out. Let me give you my thesis. Whenever you do a production or you're ready, there's a group of people or whatever. Inevitably, they dispatch them PA to go get bagels for everybody, you know? They'll go get a thing, a tub of coffee and get some bagels. - We've got 30 people here, we need bagels. - They're early call, they go bagels, right? And there's a cupcake and especially a doughnut version of this too. - Yeah. - So then, the person comes back and it's always the nine-tier old goyam who doesn't know shit grew up in Arizona. You don't know anything, right? So then it come back and they go, I just basically got three of everything. I got a chocolate bagel over there. I got everything bagel over there. And people like, nobody wants a fucking chocolate bagel. It's a fucking doughnut kid. And I got the red, white and blue bagel over there. I got the gay flag, don't doughnut over there. And then, and then you go, did you get any just like, plain regular doughnut traditional bagel or like an egg bagel or an onion bagel? They go, well, I got two of everything. Okay, those get removed immediately. - Right, now you're right. - Then the chocolate raisin one gets left behind and the bullshit gay flag one, they all get left behind. - Now you're right. - And then at some point, because people are hungry and they're moochies and they're soft. At some point about noon, you'll see one, you'll see the gay rainbow flag one torn in half and half of it's sitting there. And eventually, they will be consumed. But only in the order of greatness. Now my thing is, you're getting 36 bagels. Get three, you know, onion, sorry, you know, get 12 onion and 12 egg and 12 poppy seed or whatever, just get like some basic-- - The classics, the famous. - Okay, but the next time they go in a bagel run, they do the same thing because all of them got eaten. - I agree with you. - It's the same with the fucking veggie sandwiches. - You two fucking vegetarians on this entire set and you got three beat, you got 12 beef, 12 turkey, and 12 veggie shobs. Nobody wants the fucking veggie shobs. - I'm so happy to hear this. - And there's a donut version. - The problem is, no one feels the pain. You're right. The person who got the bagels needs to see that those didn't get eaten so that they don't make the mistake the next time. - Right. - And so I totally agree. - Bagel accounting. - Right. - That's redundant. So of course they're all bagels. - Right. - No, I'm saying-- - Where are the bison bagels or the donuts? - Right, no. - Because you get the fucking buttermilk. You get the oil-- And then you get the one the fucking purple one with the chimneys on it. No one fucking wants it So here's what you need to do whoever does the bagel and who does the donut run? So he's the least qualified dumb as you love a person. Unloved non-ju like it has to be a Jewish person That has felt love from their parents whose parents said you'll need everything bagels and poppies You know, you need the one that goes everybody does that right whether it's a bagel or a donut And you don't need a Jew for donuts, but you laid all out never part of my life You laid all out and then 15 minutes later you come back and you take an accounting of which ones are gone And those are the only ones you get next time right because everyone took a pass They took the ones they wanted they took the roast beef sandwich They took the turkey club sub nobody fucking touched a veggie sub and you're right that person who got them never feels Shame enough to make a change. This is like my my thing with the airport like when people are bad in the airport Everyone thinks that they're doing it right. Yeah, we need a penalty box at the airport That has a neon sign that says idiot above it. Yes, you have to have and you got a 30 second to the box and we have the TSA pre-age the TSA agents Hey, you took a long time to scan your pass You're in the box for 30 seconds. Yeah, you spend time in that box with your family being like dad What the hell are we gonna get to the gate sorry? I got put in the box then you're gonna be better the next time You go to the airport just like the bagel guy. Tell you what we'll do. Yeah, we'll use those weird Lactating pods that never get utilized. Yes, I I assume in there more dudes beat off in there Women actually I'm gonna say there's pumping going on in there statistically. It's got to store the lock on it They're dudes that are drinking at the airport for the strip club the night before those is the penalty box put we put up viewing port Right on those we can all look in at the loser. Yeah, because then the can you imagine your your kids being like dad? Why are we why are we not going to the gate right? Yeah, I didn't take my shoes off. There's a There's a trail mix version of this yeah lunch run - they'll always do this thing craft service back in the day I used to do TV shows they'd have the the big bowl of cashews and have the big bowl of Honey roasted peanuts and the big bowl of smoked omits and at some point they'd have the trail mix Nobody would touch the trail mix they would get what they wanted but after everything else ran out Then they started picking through the trail mix. I'm just going to get the M&M's out and I am fuck that sunflower She needs base food. It's not yeah, but it's some plot at some point it would all be gone And then the intern would go get the exact same thing just like they do with the bagels and the dough because they didn't feel the fuck up You have to feel the fuck up to be able to make a change like when I you want stage when you say a bit that doesn't work You're not going to go to Anchorage and talk shit about the fish never again. I talk to him. I did 20 minutes on how much Permanente shocked I stopped in Anchorage in the audience. They loved it. They were in that the thing you won't fuck up twice That's why like when comedians like oh we saw him do this video wasn't great. Yeah, he's never gonna do that again Yeah, he's gonna go do a better bit that gets laughs There's a there's a pizza version of this where they always just so they go get 10 cheese and 10 pepperoni were covered and it's like this is a super bowl party with adults This isn't a special needs nine-year-old pinnata-based fucking party. That's what you do with kids when they're nine This is well this is pop-up bagels is this big bagel plays. It's like expanding like crazy But they're like the bagels have to be eaten hot and I'm like well, then that's not a bagel Like bagels should be left out. Yes, you know, I I want at them at a shivacall at a at a at a bris at a you know at a bar mitz for Service like what do what do you mean keep them hot? Yeah, right, you know, and then they go we don't cut them I was like what do you mean you don't cut them? Yeah, this is and then no one feels the fuck up because they go yeah by three and dipping in butter I'm like what am I at a first communion? That's how we eat them? Yeah, and but no one feels it because they're like now They're the hot bagel no one's what's your best bagel. Give me your bagel sourcing bagel in West Palm Beach is doing it great what did I just want to know like bagel playing poppy Seed, you know, I like everything bagel with chive cheese locks tomato onion a real smelly breath sandwich Yeah, everything bagel chive cheese locks red onion tomato capers done. I'd also open face open it all close face It all sounds perfect except for the everything bagel surprised me because that feels newer love the old school I that to me that's everything bagel they nailed it. All right. Yeah, I agree. What about the TJ's everything bagel everything but the bagel You ever use that is that a 90s man? Everything but the bagel Josh Loveinson couldn't keep up. Yeah, to me the bagel the thing about the bagel I'm with you on the locks. I'm with you on the big wheel of tomato like beef steak I'm with you on the red onion with you on the smear. I'm with your capers. I'm all with everything The bagel to me's a little more of a substrate for all of that like it's not its own flavor. Yeah, it's kind of a base for all that to live in and so If you were going to if you're bringing in that like if you brought like raspberry into that bagels is just someone who's not confident enough to have a donut. I almost don't want it I want to texture of the bagel. I like an egg bagel. Sesame. I like a toasted sesame because I like the crunch And I like the umami of the sesame. Yes, I agree. I that that I would switch anything when you got on a pizza I liked I'm gonna go well everything's well done Uh-huh when I get some fries pizza wings well done throw it under the broiler. Yeah pizza mushroom onion Well done solid. What are you getting? Well, I'm gonna admit a few things here. Uh-oh. Okay. This is this is a problem. I like I see an issue coming I like sausage and onion. Okay. I don't like pepperoni Because pepperoni dominates too much for me. It's like too small salty the small cup he wants fine Yeah, but they carpet that shit with pepperoni like so I like sausage and onion If you want to add black olive grate if you want to add a mushroom grate It's all good garlic sort of unnecessary, but fine I will admit to Canadian bacon and pineapple that everyone does get the fuck out of here But at least first off, it's a slice of pizza with Canadian bacon on it's at least that part of it It's got to pass because it's just pork and do you have that even style? What is new Haven? No, it's called a pizza a pizza New Haven is like the pizza cat calling itself the pizza capital of the country And it's like a oblong Mishapen pizza. It's very good. It's charcoal. I think is the oven if they look it up But it's like and there's like different places to go to get it But and then now people are doing copies you can go down Frank Pepe's that's like the famous one I like it. It's delicious, and it's not cut like it's not the even cuts So they all do a clam pizza, which I don't think is that great. I think it gets more I don't it never does it's like the more famous. I don't feel like clams need to be on a pizza It's a white pizza with clams. It's just not I don't even feel like we need a white pizza. I just feel like pizza As traditional and as New Yorkie is you can make it well, the garden was like famous because Sinatra I think you still like get a guy to go bring it down from new Haven it became a thing. That was the whole deal to me Big just a good slice from the village just cheese Joe's with a little garlic Here's Frank Pepe a little garlic powder sprinkled on top. Yeah, I'm with you really good When I get done at the seller and I go there and I have a slice, I'm like is there anything I mean, it's like it's my dream my dream Ray Romano has a special that's on Netflix and at the end of the special it's him and his family Going and having Joe's pizza and talking about the shows right and I'm like that's the dream. All I have to do is have the biggest succumb of all time Yeah, and I can afford it, but that's I to me. That's like a beautiful thing. I agree and that for me I want to be able to taco that pizza and half and then turn it sideways and put it my mouth I want it to ruin my next day because it ruined that yeah, I burnt the top of my mouth. All right Jared The special the family plan Just hit that reminder on the Netflix. Let's go to Netflix. Let's try and trick the algorithm once It'll be it'll be waiting for you when we get that work for me ever the algorithm. I'll take it one time Rudy pop. It's got the news. We'll do that right after this. Oh Riley auto parts. Yeah, you know the jingle done the business of keeping your car on the road. O'Reilly auto parts offers friendly helpful service and the parts and the knowledge You need for the maintenance and the repair so they'll help you maintain and repair your automobile. I'm a member stump Always go with O'Reilly they have the answers and they'll test your battery. They'll do it for free in your car out of your car those are the only two possible options and that's all you need Figure out if you need a new one if you need need new one? Well, they'll figure out which one fits your car. Everything they do is at high level. They're professional parts people. And they're one stop shop for all things auto do it yourself first. And I am. And you can go online or go in the store, but I suggest going in the store. Just better vibe. It is. O'Reilly Auto Parts, right Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us at O'Reilly Auto dot com slash Adam. That's O'Reilly Auto dot com slash Adam. Press nothing. They're free 24/7. That is so epic. On Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey, man, I just heard about this new law from the nannies in the nanny status, California, that they're going to take what replacement tires you can put on your car. And they have to have a rolling resistance of 9.1. I've never heard of rolling resistance before. Maybe you're going to say I'm stupid. Maybe I am, but I can't wait to hear you talk about it. Please, please, please come to f off or something, please. You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. All right. Yeah, this landed on my radar. And I'll tell you, you should start the clock, by the way. In a vacuum, a lot of their ideas in California have some relevance and make some sense. Everything sort of works in a vacuum. They go, "Well, what's wrong with regulating the tires' rolling resistance? We can save that much more fossil fuel or whatever it is. They'll have to live in some sort of sensical world. No one goes, "Look, we're tyrannical dictators or money-fucking-grubbers, and we love making rules of fuck off, bitch." Like, they never do that. They just go, "This is for the safety of the kids and the same people. What's wrong with children of color having a chance that whatever their thoughts are, what's wrong with giving clean needles to these unhoused guess of ours, so that they don't spread hepatitis." It's all sounds good. It's one more fucking regulation, and it's why people don't want to live in California. And it's why they can't do business in California, and it's why whatever Kumo tires are not going to sell, they're 275-35-17s here because it's under-regulated. And also, you turn people into criminals because then you go, "Could you go ahead and ship those Kumos to my buddy in Nevada, and then he'll drive a man, and I'll pay him a premium." Yeah. And then I'll find some Armenian guys going to underground tire-surfacing place to put them on, and blah, blah, blah, blah, because you can't stop making rules. I have donkeyed more luxury watches from Nevada to California, so people don't have to pay taxes on it. Oh, really? So many times, yeah, when I lived there for two years, I got numerous phone calls and text messages, "Hey, can I ship this to your house when are you coming to California next? I don't want to pay the 15% on $37,000 for this lugging watch." So I was like, "Yeah, I get it, man." By the way, it's referred to as mule. Although donkey works, but it's mule. I don't know why. I think most people would say donkey or mule. I was trying to do something different. I don't want to be like a mule. Let me explain. Let me explain. What did I do? Here's what we need to do. They call it couch surfing, but it should be sofa surfing, because it rolls, alliteration, alliteration. And they call it a drug mule, but it should be a drug donkey, because we have more alliteration. Yeah. So you should go. I'll put it in a sentence. I was sofa surfing for a while until I got a job as a drug donkey. See the way I did that? But instead we swap out donkey for mule, and we swap out couch for sofa. What the fuck? Yeah. I was couch surfing until I became a drug mule, does not roll off the tongue. No, no. As you roll in just a second ago. Yeah, it doesn't. It was actually in the news. I'm funny. You brought it up because this is what they say. Obviously, the CEC is going to tell you, Hey, man, for the first four months, you're going to save $79 in gas. And then they tell you, well, the cost of tires is only going to go up $6.50. And then all the manufacturers come back and go, Bullshit, it's going to be hundreds of dollars more for you to be able to buy those tires. Listen, ultimately, we just want to buy the tires we want to put on our cars, as we see fit. I may have reasons, you know, and by the way, nobody who works for the legislators serves legislation in California, it likes cars, aftermarket cars, race cars. There's none of those guys. But I do. Can I do that? Can I scratch that itch? What they don't really realize is, you guys are looking at it as another practical way to save the environment or something. We're seeing it's just another rule. And that's all you guys do is rules. And California has the most rules. And that's why it's shedding people and businesses. And they go to places who have less rules. And of course, everything is either safety or the environment. That's what every rule they make is. But by the way, I'll tell you a rule. They don't enforce that involves that tires and environment street takeovers every weekend. There's some guy doing burnouts in a dodge doing a big donut. It's all being burnt up. It's all going up in the atmosphere. It's guys fucking girlfriend hanging out the passenger window. And those people can do whatever they want. You who buy tires and pay taxes, you shall not be doing what you want. We'll show you that. Is there a clip of this? Oh, okay. Turn the sound up. This guy's literally just doing a full burn out. Just donuts and burnouts. This is the same place that wants to regulate your tires. They're not going to regulate him. They're going to regulate you. Well, in addition to this, didn't I hear you say that all of this is easily addressable by letting everyone know that their tires need to be properly inflated. It would eliminate whatever excess environmental shit going off. I would also increase safety a little bit. But California's answer is just rules, rules, rules. I was driving in today. I took a little film of it. But the billboard that usually says clicker ticket said, slow it down, save lives. I was going 28 miles an hour. Well, you saw the second half of that sign because I saw it too. This can't possibly be legal. I wanted to ask you, but the first sign says slow down speed kills. And then the sign says, drive a hundred miles per hour. Lose your license. Right. I was going 14 miles an hour in traffic on the 10 at about 9 10 this morning when I saw that. My whole thing is it's so insulting to tell you to slow down when you live in the most traffic traffic ridden area on the planet. It's twisting the knife. Like my thing is like this designs. You have timers, meaning street lights come on at night. The street lights don't come on at noon. They come on at night. And the street lights have come on at night since 1957 because it doesn't make sense. They have timers. You know what I mean? The freeway electronic signs on the 10 freeway from, you know, Santa Monica to downtown when the average speed of the commute between let's say seven a.m. and 11 a.m. is 13 miles an hour and bumper to bumper traffic. Maybe don't flash to slow it down sign during those hours. Yeah. Those hours you could right use your turn signal or don't text and drive. Then later on in the wee hours, you could run this slow it down right now. You're telling me to slow it down and I'm fucking stuck in traffic. It's like one of the only places where you can go from Glendale to Hollywood and it takes you just as long to go from Glendale to San Diego. I'm blown away at how long it takes to get in a short amount of distance in the city. All right. Let's see. Yes. Speed kills. Slow down. Slow down and then later on it was if you're going over a hundred, you're going to which what? It said lose your license. That's not a law in California. They're using these signs to throw bullshit up there. Well guys, you're not a law. You're going to be able to do a hundred after you get brand new California regulated tires. They're not going to blow out on you. They'll say you square tires if you can get it to 9.1 Newtons. I did see the sign on 101 and 5 on my way back from Monterey and I'm curious if it had possibly had anything to do with Speed Week in Monterey. Get on their minds, but we're in Los Angeles. And it's not speed week and Monterey. All right. What else you got, Rudy? So actress Hayden Pennetier. This came out a couple of days ago, but we're talking about it now. She was declared dead at the age of 36 after being found unresponsive in her home on Sunday. Reports are that she suffered in overdose, but there's still no word on specifics just yet. This happened in Greenville, South Carolina, at around 150 PM on Sunday. We were talking about Scott Wyland and how weird it was that he died across the highway from my house. The lead singer of one of the biggest bands of all time died in a parking lot in a tour bus that was just right. It's weird when you hear A-list celebrities passing away in an apartment in Greenville. I always imagine that they would overdose and their, you know, palatial mansion in Beverly Hills, but that's not the case in this situation. Yeah. I guess I talked to Drew about her for a little while. I mean, it's just drugs. Yeah. So obviously she probably had the narcan with her 'cause she was aware of this. And-- Did you say what kind of drugs? No, it's usually pain killers with his assumption. And for some reason, there's something in pain killers where you just keep taking them. Even if you're feeling, you're already feeling pretty high. You just keep going. And then the other thing is is you can't stay asleep with the pain killers. So that's when the volume comes in. And when you mix the volume with the pain killers, you get the teeth ledger situation, you know what I mean? When you start mixing the volume with the percussettes, that's when the real problems come in. I don't know what she was doing, but it all sounds. It all roads lead to drugs. And drugs, you know, I think we have our picture of the drug addicts and the movies picture of the drug addicts, but it can take a lot of shapes and a lot of forms. Yeah. As we found out here. Well, they have said that there's a couple of theories rolling around that she was possibly murdered by a Hollywood cabal that is used to protect predators because she was recently on a podcast talking about some of her time early on as a child in Hollywood. And that was just a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, but I don't think she was talking about as a child. I think she was talking about as a young adult, but I'm not sure. We have to figure it out now. I think I know the clip you're referring to. Okay, I guess what I'm saying, she was on a yacht. And she went ahead nowhere to go. I didn't get the 12-year-old part. I got like more than 21-year-old. Okay, I thought maybe when I say child, I should have meant since like teenage years. I thought it was like upper teen, 16, 17. I didn't hear a name. I was, well, we'll listen to it. I was kind of picturing her as a young lady. Oh, I was 18. Yeah. Okay. I was 18, even though I'd lived such a huge life. And I thought I was so mature at 18, you know, scientifically, you know, her frontal lobes don't develop until we're 20, 26, 25, 26. Well, for boys. Even though I felt like I could make healthy decisions, safe decisions. Yeah, I know. First off, you know how many people you'd have to kill in this town if there was sort of untoddry, you know, sexual behavior. It's like seven in this building alone. Yeah. Well, they have to take the victims out, which I'm saying. Yeah. It'd be a lot of work for this cabal. That's what I was saying. Seven in this building. Oh, sure. So I know, I think this is, you know, pretty, pretty common drug stuff that's sad. I mean, it, it's going to get you at some point. If that's the road, you're going to stay on. And, you know, as Drew was talking about sort of interestingly that, you know, there's a lot of doctors that get celebrity clients and they get a little infatuated with having a celebrity client and they give them stuff, they shouldn't give them. And he said, basically, just happened with Fauci. Fauci got a little high on his own supply. And for him, it was just media being a darling of the media. And he liked it. Sure. And he, that's where we got what we got. By the way, on that note, I was getting into it with Chris Cuomo a little bit of something we said here and it was trending and so on and so forth. I don't need the clip. I'll just, I'll just, you know, all paraphrase. So I told you guys that I, it started when I retweeted Cuomo going on a rant about the unvaccinated, how they needed to be vaccinated. Right? It was semi innocent. I just said this in age well. He, we're friends. So he got back to me via via text. And he was kind of going, what's up? Now to be fair to him, I mischaracterized it when we were talking. He said, you think some, I'll paraphrase here. I don't want to read the text, but it was like, so you don't think vaccines helped anyone or caused lower mortality, right? So basically, he didn't call, he didn't text me and go, what's up, bro? He said, vaccines, you don't think they, whatever. But in a, ostensibly he was going, I saw this, what's up? Like you disagree or whatever it is, but it wasn't douchey. Then I wrote back what I always say is vaccines are good for some people, but I got a 14-year-old son at the time who didn't need to get vaccinated, not good for healthy people, it was good for old people. And then I wrote, what love your brother? And then he wrote back, didn't seem like a lot of love in that, whatever, that was his, what's up, bro? Right moment, you know? So then when I told the story, I sort of said that what's up, bro, part, but out of sequence, you know, he gave me a little what's up, bro. And then I busted his chops by saying, basically what I stand by, which is everybody who tried to fuck everyone up for five years deserves some payback. I don't think people know, like, you know, a lot of people, including myself, lives were made miserable and sometimes dangerous for years because of our stance on COVID. And now everyone wants to turn the page. So he doesn't like that. I like him. And I'm not interested in like smearing him, but also I got smeared for three or four years. I'm not interested in all the people that pushed that narrative completely just walking away into the sunset without some ball busting, coming the other direction. And that's basically what happened. It's difficult when people who for those years really pushed hard and when you come back at him and I always bring up my buddy, Ricky, who should be here today. And I feel very strongly that it was the vaccines and the boosters that killed him. And every time I bring it up, they always go, no, no, no. And they just sort of poo poo it. And I go, why don't you listen to what I have to, why do I always have to listen to your bullshit? Listen to my bullshit for a second. But to be fair to Chris, he didn't write me a, what's up, bro? He wrote me a, what's up with Vax and then kind of ended up with a, what's up, bro? But I still think I captured the essence of the have sound of likes and then they feel alike. So I had to have a feel like, but I listen, it's fine. I don't, I don't give a shit. All right. Well, speaking of government, Minnesota government's outstanding refugee charged with Medicaid fraud connected to sex trafficking ring Salman, uh, uh, uh, a man, L me was charged last week with three counts of 18 and a bedding by Swindle and five counts of 18 and a bit. Somali guys. Some, those guys built Minnesota, bro. Yeah. You watch what you say. Yeah. Anyway, you saw those guys out there with their tool belts. Wow. Building Minnesota. Absolutely. That's right. So for certain for these guys, linebacker core. Yeah. So in 2021, this guy was awarded the outstanding refugee award. Well, why do we have this nonsense? That's fucking also, by the way, outstanding refugee guy tends up, you know, swindling the taxpayers of millions of dollars, teacher, the year, molest seven kids. You got to know, you got, when you get the outstanding refugee, it's, it's a lot like that, that scene I was telling you about in the Simpsons when the guys up there and he's like, I'm going to retire tomorrow. I've been on the beat for 20 years now, bought a boat, it's called live for forever. Like, you know what guys getting shot in the next 10 seconds of this, of this action movie, right? Is it ironic? Don't you think? Yes. Yes. Yes. Outstanding refugees sounds like misplaced praise. Like you're here. You're really good at running away from shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're really good at letting us take care of you. No, but a fantastic job. Nobody flees a motherland like you. Yeah. So anyway, it's good news out of Minnesota. Well, Ace, they got a new spot for all your cars. If you'd like one, the super rich finally have plenty of luxury bunker, bunker, bunkers to choose from. But this one, man, this goes to a whole new level. There's a massive network of underground vaults that is being carved into the Swiss elps, offering the ultra wealthy, a heavily fortified place to stash everything from priceless art and gold to vintage Ferrari's and expensive wine. It's really got the car world just got back. I mean, there's so many crazy, crazy expensive cars and it's all insane. I was counting them up. I think at the auctions over the last weekend, I think there were like 14 or 15 cars it went over ten million dollars which is nuts. Also Andrew almost made me go on the parking lot and kill myself because I had the weirdest moment. I was telling Andrew just get the beginning of the race from Friday. I go we all come down the hill and we all grid up and we get all close and the pace car pulls off the track and then they just wave that green flag and we all take off. I've shown it before just what a beginning of a race looks like at Laguna Seca. So he goes I can't really find the part where the race starts. I go Andrew two warm up laps. Sometimes they give you one. Sometimes they give you two. You come down the hill, pace car pulls off and then you grid up and then the green flag drops which I will show you now. I got about 50 cars in my run crew. I'm on like 30th on this and I make my way up to 20th but anyway we'll just show you one of these things begins. You get it pulling. Put this down and roll that comes. So that's where you start getting real slow and I'm in first gear actually that's how slow it is. They come around in the corner and everyone got up. Sure. This is where Nicole Kidman is and the pit's going go go. We've seen enough but the point is the reason I was going insane is I go so he shows me the tape and he shows me his tape and like all of us kind of strung out and everyone's kind of going and it's not this at all and I go wait this is Friday and I guess yeah it's right. Andrew got there on Friday and brought his camera so I think I'm looking at his camera so it has to be Friday because he only filmed one day Friday. So I go that's Friday I guess yeah run it again run again and at some point he goes yeah there's the green flag green flags waving but we all bunched up and I got in the first gear and stuff. This is the beginning of Friday's race. What was I seeing? What was I seeing? This is Friday, this the beginning. I go wait a minute, wait a minute, Saturday okay remember that one. Wednesday Thursday this was qualifying. They just put you on the track. They don't start the race. They just let you run around and you set a time. It's different than starting the race with the paste car and shit. I go wait a minute. Where's the paste car? I said this is the beginning of the race. I think I'm going insane. What was I looking at? I was in the car. I felt like I looked at this completely different thing and then I started knowing on my own bright. I was like I've done so many races that look good in a second. Maybe I just thought it was another thing. I was looking at it whatever and I go you're here on Friday right. It goes yeah. You only filmed on Friday right. Yeah. This the beginning of Friday's race. It's so different than what I was seeing. I thought we all came around. It was all strung out like this. This is Friday. I can't miss out the back Friday. I can't this is Friday because yeah it's Friday. And that's your camera in the car and goes that's camera. It's your camera. It's our camera. That's your camera that you put in on Friday. No, no, that's the other camera. I go. Well, this is probably from Thursday then. It goes all right. Well they miss marked it. Oh show me the back by the way Andrew. I always tell people you're trying to get me to come myself. Go back another sorry. Whatever. I never seen turn the sound up. Never seen the camera out the back. So these are the guys behind me and this is how race begins. God son of shining. What a fucking day. Oh, that's kind of the Bob Sharp 33 610. Next to me. Oh, this fucking guy. Oh, it's cool car. I have the sister car to that car, by the way. Where's Dave in his 610? Is he going inside? Oh, he's right there. He's right next to me, by the way. Is there any rules on the race? The rules are it had to be run how it was run back in the day. Yeah, he's running a Bob Sharp car, which is a Newman Sharp, Newman thing. I never look out the back. The back's kind of cool. Yeah. And it's own and it's own weird way. And I like it because it shows there's actually someone behind me. Sure. When you go forward, you just figure it feels like you're in last place all the time. When you're in first, they just think you're getting laughed. Yeah. Nobody from miles. Let's see what the corkscrew looks like going from the back. I never thought about the corkscrew from the back. Oh, that's kind of bitch. Yeah. Oh, there he comes again. Sorry. But I've never seen this before. You guys can go down for a couple. We'll put it up there and see what happens. See, he's going to try the inside on turn 11. By the way, after you do this for about a half hour, you're good. You're go. I'm fun. Give me a beer. I'm good. Somebody get the car. That's good. Yeah. Car. Oh, that's cool. What would it take? Say, maybe you want to do that level of racing in five years. Where would you start? And what is like the price point to get into something like that? You won't be able to, you might not be able to have a car that gets accepted into something prestigious. You know, like they do like a Lamar revival. Your car needs to have some history. They're not going to invite you to the Lamar classic or whatever that is. Then there's like Pebble Beach, you know, they might not accept your car. There'd be a lot of like tell me the history of this car, not good enough. We're not accepting this car. These cars need to have a pedigree in a history. That being said, you could buy a a Dotson 510 race car, probably 40 grand in good racing condition with no history and then go out and do events in it, but not you're not getting into Pebble Beach. You're not getting into the Rolex historic with your no, no history 510. So a 94 Pontiac Sunfire probably not making it. Even though it's where I got my first B.J. from Serena in the ninth grade, ninth grade. Still like me able to get in B.J. Ninth grade. Yeah. I started doing 13. I lost my virginity really. 13. I guess back. I don't think losing a virginity is a thing anymore. Yeah. I could remember dudes like making fun of 16 year old dudes who were still virgins. I don't think that's a thing anymore. There was a, I can't remember who put it out. There's a news article I just read because I have a daughter who is 18 years old and celibacy is in at the moment. It is everybody's waiting because they've realized my cousin got pregnant at 13, had her son at 14. I love white trash. And it made it. Yeah. Look at Andrew out there. My uncle, my uncle Randy was a, he had five children and was a grandfather when he was 36. Wow. Crazy. Yeah. I was thinking about that, but I was also thinking about like black moms who had like, we had got pregnant when they were 15. Oh, yeah. But there's a decent chance some of their sons are starting in the NFL. Absolutely. Which means you could show up to a fucking game and be 36 and watch your son play professional football. And that's got to be pretty fucking cool to be in your 30s and go to an NBA game and watch your son starring as a Ford. And by the way, getting $17 million a year. Yeah. When you watch the moms at the NFL draft sitting next to their son, you're like, oh, that must be his younger sister. Oh, no, it's his mom and black don't crack like 37 year old black mom. That's fucking nothing. All right. On a serious note, I was informed and I had some text exchanges with the bald Brian who's having some issues and is is is having to go back and do some rehab. And we're hoping everything turns out for the best. But I do want to point people toward his, I guess it's a go fund me. And I'm not sure the best way to do it. But just go to go fund me and put in support, bald Brian. I think we will put the link, but uh, the links in the description. So what are we doing here? I know you said you want to shop, but it just go to what's the procedure? Just go on, go online, go to go fund me. We're going to pin the, uh, pin comment. here with the link to the Gofame to donate. - All right, so if you're listening, look for the pinned comment is what I'm saying. - Me, Bald Bryan, Dave Mustaine from Megadeth and Fiona Apple, that is the September 13th cocktail party. We all share the same birthday. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - I did not know that. - I did not. - You have Bald Bryan's birthday. Anyway, great family and they need and deserve all the support you can give, so please be generous. Okay, tomorrow, Albuquerque, New Mexico, doing a show at 7.30 at Hyenas. Also, the following day, Friday, two shows. Albuquerque, Hyenas, go check that out. If you wanna go to a theater, Tucson, go to the Realtto theater, that'll be on Saturday, and then it's off to Tampa, the motor on Clayton Groot, it's gonna be there for that. - I will be. - Pretty bitching, speaking of car guy shit, that'll be Friday, August 28th, and go to Amcrow to come for all the live shows. Rudy? - September 18th, catch me in Columbia, Missouri at the Tokyo Room, and then September 19th, I'll be at a brand new club, the comedy factory, just outside of Kansas City, go to RudyPovishComedy.com, get some tickets. - So, the next time, Amcrow for Jared Freed, and Rudy Povish, say it. - Mahala. - Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744. - And get tickets to see the Ace Man at AdamCorola.com. - Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo. - Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. - Welcome to the real world. - Mean girls. - Side bow. - I'm the key in the world! - And so much more. For showtime, press nothing. They're free 24/7. That is so fast. Pay never. Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo. We're all your bloodbusters favorite to landing all summer long. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. - Mean Girls. - Sidebar. - Titanic. - On the key in the world! - And so much more. They're free 24/7. - That is so fast. - On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never.