Japancis | Son of a Boy Dad #442

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And so then you just had to like live with the hours of the day. Yeah. So I slept three hours a day for four straight days. Yeah. That's not going to do it. And by the, I mean, I got my immune system broke. I got super sick. I was so delirious and run down and like, just couldn't sleep. I kept, I kept going to bed. I tried to push it like later and later to try to wake up later. And I would wake up at five, 58 a.m. or within two minutes of that every single morning. Damn. What time are you on a bed? One, two. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. That's tough. No, back to sleep. What about just going back to sleep? Oh, my body thought I had taken a brilliant afternoon nap. I was so recharged. I was ready to run through a fucking wall. Yeah. First thing in the morning. It's 6 a.m. I hate that. Don't you, I feel like you need the day, the first day to not do shit and just try to like languish in bed and like wake up and languish a little bit more. I don't know. I mean, we landed at like five p.m., got to the hotel like six and went straight out to dinner. I slept all right on the flight. Yeah. Probably slept like six hours on the flight. So your body thought that was breakfast that you were going out to? Yeah. I don't know what it was. Yeah. Breakfast. I totally lost track of what was going on where I was. I could never do the math of converting yen to dollars. So I ended up buying things that were like way more expensive than I thought and only learned after the fact, I just was totally out of my element. But once again, what's a yen amount purchase that you would make and just say like, oh 50,000 yen. That's not bad. Yeah. I would buy something and think like, oh, this is going to be like a hundred bucks and it'd be 500. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's not good. And I'd be like, I mean, I'm just, it's just stupid, but it's not an easy conversion. It's like, no, it's not at all. I mean, we did it before you left on the, on the show. Yeah. That's the perfect, yeah, it's like, I don't know, 1.6 or 158 yen to a dollar. I don't know. I mean, yeah, it's not like an easy. I'm not a math guy. We all know that. That wasn't easy for me. So we divide that by 158. Exactly. Oh, fly. Yeah. That's tough. Like, what's the best way to do it is it's like there's what's seven in them, seven of a dollar or $7 and I'm not, I never got it there. So I'm not going to try to get it now 7000 to this had never happened to me. I was so exhausted by the fourth day and so rundown that I have like five mouth ulcers. Oh, no. I don't like that at all. Tanker. Tanker source. Yeah. Herbys. Herbys. That's what I'm worried about. That's all I'm thinking about right now is my mouth. My mouth is in so much pain that even talking, swallowing is just a nightmare. You think you have mono. You might have that plague. He was just in the orient. You really couldn't have that. He came fresh from the orient. I remember when we talked about how Japanese women were going to like me. Yeah. I don't think there was a single smile sent my way. But not a smile, I don't think one of them made eye contact with me. Well, that might be true. So your question about mono, I sure didn't kiss anybody. That's damn sure. You might have sounds like you might have mono to be honest. Total immune system collapse break out of the sores. I've been there. I've been there. I've had that beaten down. Everything hurts. Is there a chance they were smiling at you behind two hands? Like this? There was one moment where I did get a woman to laugh. I was buying coffee and I was buying a coffee and I was like, I want to oat milk latte. And she was like, great. And she made it or whatever, rung it up. And then it was pointed to the board and was like, so there's an upcharge for the, and she was like something other than the oat milk addition. And she pointed to that and it was less expensive. What she pointed to. And I was like, oh, I think you should add, I think you need to add another hundred again because the oat milk is this much. And she looked at it and she was like, oh, and how did that make you feel? Is the first time I'd ever corrected someone to charge me more? Oh, yeah. So I felt good about that. But then I also realized that like a lot of them don't have great teeth. And so maybe that's why they hide their faces when they laugh. Oh, it could be. Definitely could be. I don't know. Is it the dentistry or the orthodonture? That's right. Yeah. Crooked or stained. What we're talking here are both crooked. It is a distinction. Really? And she had braces. Oh. Okay. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. What? People, it's always weird to me when I see people with braces that are older. And it's like, isn't like, isn't there like better options than that now? Like in Visaline? There's in Visaline not really work like that. Some people are need the wires. Yeah. Some people need like to bull work their mouth. Yeah. A little muscle behind it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think of Visaline. People just like don't wind up doing it. You know, they like get it to lose it. You got to do it. But I know. But like braces is not like an option. Yeah. It's like locked onto your shit. Got braces are so painful. Crazy. Really? I think it's every. And then you go, you got to go get them tightened and then resetting it. Maybe so. But then when you run your tongue over your teeth right when the braces are off for the first time, it's almost like it's all worth it. Yeah. Smiling like your Hollywood movie star. Everyone. Under back top teeth. Yeah. That shit is nice. Top 10 feeling. Yeah. Or at least sensation. If not feeling. So what are, give us a couple highlights. Fill us in as much as possible, I feel like I was begging for like a photograph and you sent pictures of a pizza parlor. I was like, more pics, please, please, please more pics and you sent four different angles of it. a personal pan pizza. I'm really bad at taking pictures when I'm traveling. I'm really I'm really not good at it. I'd like to say that that's the case, but I don't even know that that feels like I'm being too precious. I don't, I don't know why I just don't, I just don't take pictures, really. Also, it was with two buddies like we were having a great time. Just wanted them take a lot of photos. Yeah, one of them was pretty good as a shatter bug because when you got one due taking a lot of photos, then you're like, well, why would I take photos? He's just going to send me his. He's that's his job. Yeah, that's me. I do that. And then I got no photos of myself. Yeah, I got so many cool photos of my friends like made a cast in Wyoming. Yeah, and they'll be like a photo of me just like sitting in a chair hunched over. That bow took on like an iPhone three to make fun of you. Yeah, not to capture a great moment because you looked funny in that. I know that the tanker source in my mouth are a result of exhaustion. That is a, I looked it up and it was like that's, yep, that happened. Stress too. When you don't slap like sleep deprivation can lead to it. And it's what happened. I see around your arms. Yeah. Do you get cold so or no? We had that discussion on the last show. I know. That's why I'm asked. Only ever inside the mouth, which is not cold source. I get, I but no, but I've had that too. Those are hot source. I get them in the, the worst, they're worse in the mouth. I'd rather have them outside of the mountain. Yeah. And they take forever. Oh, they don't heal long heals inside your mouth. No, it's impossible. Just constantly. Yeah. Yeah. Unless I just lie like a fucking light on it. And you're constantly irritating it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's, it's literally hell. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, so the food was cool. The lunches were the highlight. We went to a pizza place called 400 degrees pizza. That was the best pizza I've ever had. Period. Was that the one that you found us of? Yes. Yeah. I looked good. It was the best. Bar none. You're telling me that they do better pizza than in New York? I'm not gonna say that. It means different. It's all better than Joe's. Yeah. It's all me a politician. So if you like me a politician, like I love it. Same. Yeah. I mean, it was crazy. Better than Napoli. You worry in Japan though, just crushing pizza on beer. Which is crazy. They got that at the beatups. Yeah. I didn't get a single photo of a sushi roll or not. We're like a winding street. Just domestic light beers. And pizza. There's could have been a buffalo while. Guys, I never went. I was at sparrow. No. The other really good lunch we had was at this ramen place that has like a Michelin star. Only six seats at the counter. You go in, they put like a bib on you because you're supposed to slurp it and splatter it all over your neighbors and stuff. And then can you talk about what you want at that counter? That's not one of those. Yeah. They have a couple of options, but like, but, but the thing that they you go for is the fwagra ramen. It's a fwagra broth. And it's like this guy has perfected it over many years. He used to cook at a French restaurant. They taste much different from a normal bowl of ramen. Yeah, dude. It was really fucking good. And I don't eat that much ramen. So I don't know. Maybe I don't have that much of a frame of reference, but that blew me away. You're only in there for half an hour. Oh, really? Yeah. It's a bowl of soup. You get one bowl of soup. Yeah, I guess that's true. And then they like, and then you go. And then there's another crop because you're like, how does a business that only seats six six customers survive? And then you're like, oh, they do. They do whatever. Do they like rush or 20 fucking covers a day of the whole restaurant? Do they do they like move you quickly? No, not really. We were all done. Yeah. One girl like laped us. There's a woman in there who I think was Japanese who literally was done before we were halfway done. That's great. And I was like, Oh, people don't know. She's left her desk, which is the black widow. So on your Thomas, the competitive eater. This girl, I mean, this girl like was a salary woman or whatever, yeah. You know, was there any fat people out there? Not that I saw you didn't see one. No, that's crazy. It's so nice. A lot of where people smoking a lot. No, a lot of segues. Um, in the restaurants, yeah. So we went to like that we went, my buddies booked the dinners. And we went over three on dinners. No, really? Over three. Just not good. And I skipped the last dinner, which was the worst. I'm sorry. We went one for four on dinners. That first dinner, the Isakaya, where we had the incident, which I can't talk about. Still waiting to go to trial and stuff. Yeah, that that was a good dinner. Extra dining back to when you got to go back to Japan. Yeah, yeah, that's why he texted. I got to get the fuck out of here. It wasn't like, they're on my ass and escaping. Who's like sliding across the hood of a car with someone firing at him? They're on my ass. No, um, that was, that was a really good meal. But the three after that were all bad. And I didn't, I skipped the last one because I was too sick to go. And my buddies went and it was the worst meal of the trip. Really? Yeah. So basically, they, as they put it, they're two New York City Jewish guys who in a classic New York City Jewish fashion had really agonized over booking the restaurant reservations. And each one would have like an amazing place for us to go on that night. And then somehow the other guy would like, talk him out of booking that into booking another place. And every time the first one that they had was like a place that would turn out to be like the best restaurant in Japan. Yeah, and we had missed it in favor of a place that was a total disaster. Yeah. Disaster how? What do you mean? All right. So we went to a place and I'm going to, I'm going to say it called sushi you. Why you, you? This was our, the second night we were there. It was an omakase place. This place gets like unbelievable reviews. Yeah. And fucking Dua Lipa has been a bunch of times. She's always like promoting it. She's friends with the guy. Yeah. And I know that because he was talking to us. And this should have been a red flag. Yeah. He was like, so in New York. And we were like, yeah, and he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we're like, uh-huh. And then I was like, well, he's like, how'd you find me? And I was like, well, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I was like, I'm friends with Dua Lipa. I made a joke. And then he goes, I'm friends with Dua Lipa. I'm friends almost defensively. Oh, yeah. It's not your friend. She's my friend. Yeah. I was like, yeah, literally, I don't know her at all. I'm talking a photo dump. And then, yeah, I think he showed us like a post of her with him behind the, she was behind the counter. Anyway, point is this place was not good. How so was it? I'll give, I'll give you an example. Like, was the food just bad? Yeah. Like, it wasn't like, this isn't, this isn't what we expected. It was just like, this isn't good. Bro, is that Dua Lipa? There she is. That's doing that. That's why it's stuck. You had a fucking British pop star as your sushi chef. What the fuck? That thing on the right, that, that red dish that sushi would like this fucking cheese. It was the first thing they brought. It was almost an edible. It looks like sushi with like cottage cheese. No one's ever put those. I don't know what the fuck that shit was, but it was dude. It was bad. It looks like tuna. I'll give you Rome. All right. The other problem is, I like that you're worked up. I want to foster that. I want to kind of stoke these plans. New York City. I would say does fancy omakase as like arguably and unannoyingly their single best presentation of food. Yeah. We've so many like two Michelin star fucking omakase places. It seems like some of the best chefs from Japan come to New York. And I think LA also has this. Yeah. To open omakase restaurants that are like 300 to 500 dollars of person. Yeah. And there's a lot of them. They're all, you know, they're everywhere. And I've been to one or two of those and they're solemn and quiet and dignified and like very serious. This place was more like along the lines of like a fucking sucky bombing. Yeah, yeah, like the Lowery side. Yeah. Like having a good time. First of all, every single person around the counter was like a white American or Scott. Yeah. Yeah. Or a fucking Australian person. Do a leap of course. Do a leap of course. Yeah. We're all there because we got suckered in by fucking leap. You guys saw the do a leap of post too. Yeah. It'd be awesome if we found out this was like AI like do a leap has never been to this restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. We got Dupa leap. We got Dupa. So, you know, we're all there and like they're bringing out the food. I'll give you an example. Ron, I think you'll appreciate this. There was a guy. There was a sink. There was There's a sink as part of the sink. sushi counter on which they were working, that they were washing their dishes in. - Yeah, I don't like that at all. - Like, and we're sitting, we were across from the sink. - Yeah. - So, he's like splashing shit around. - Yeah, I wasn't like that. - And by the way, again, I don't have a problem with that, except that in my experiences with Omakase, that counter is, you could perform surgeries on it. They're almost literally doing that. They're performing surgeries on pieces of fish that have been sourced from the tuna market or whatever, some really sacred place, some process that got it there. And this was just like, "Yeah, we gotta fucking keep up with the orders." You know, might as well have been a diner. - Yeah. - That's really what it was. - With the guys with Uber Eats bags waiting. - Yeah, pretty much, pretty much, exactly. - I actually hate that. When you go to a restaurant and you see the guys with the bags, 'cause they try and cut the line no matter what, you could be waiting in line. And so we'll just reach a square bag across. - It really takes away from the experience of going out, of getting caught as cheese sushi. That should look so disgusting. - Yeah, I think ripping. - I think another problem was, so, you know, they brought out the oyster and what, as one of the dishes, right? The oyster was enormous. I mean, it's like that big. You know, and they cut it in half. And so this is like your, we're really reaching here, dish. Like this is like, okay, we're going native. - Experimental, yeah. - We're going native. No, I mean, I think they do that. It's just like, as a non-Japanese, not that experienced, you know, experimental eater, this is the one where we're gonna have to like-- - Muscle at that. - Muscle at that. Muscle at that, right? When, how many pieces of sushi have you had at this point? - Nine or 10, right? - So by this point, we know it's bad. And now the fucking monster arrives. - Yes, this is it. - And when you are in a place that you've lost faith in, and they present the like living jiggly nightmare fuel. - Yeah. - All right, that you have to kill. - It's 10 times worse. - Make sure your first bite's strong. 'Cause you can literally see like the pathogens that are gonna give you diarrhea and death, moving around this thing. And you're like, I have to eat it out of respect. - Were you still acting kind of like impressed to the guy that had been like-- - Totally, I mean, I don't know. We kind of have to give a little lip service to those guys 'cause you have to be like, wow, like that was, 'cause they're asking, they're checking in. So you had to lie. - That's the problem with Omakase, in my opinion, is that like they're bringing the, they're bringing the crazy shit way too late. Like I don't wanna already be full and then be like, all right, time to try the mega sized oyster. - Yeah. - Like I'd rather start with that, know it sucks, and then move on to the good stuff. - Maybe. I mean, again, the first thing they brought out was awful. - I mean, this is like torture. - It was bad. - Yeah. - That was really a bad meal. - And how many do they bring, like 20? - Yeah. - Yeah. - So stop. - Do you have a lot of urchin while you're out there? - Here's another example. Here's another example. You go to a nice Omakase. You expect that there's gonna be like a good presentation, a representation of like sake, right? - Yeah. - Like a list. We were like, can we see the sake list? They were like, we only have one. We're like, okay. - Yeah, that's never good. - Like, what about beers? And they're like, we have one. - If one type of beer and one type of sake. - This is it. You got duped. - You got duped. - So what you've learned to do, Aliepa's never been here. - We learned this after the fact. There's a reservation system that is like there are all service, Yelp/reservations/opentable/fuckingtripadvisor. Four restaurants in Japan and it's called table something. And everyone tells you that this is how you're supposed to get reservations. Is there any chance you can kind of look that up? Tyler, like Tokyo reservations, table something. Anyway, this restaurant had 4.9. It was like the highest review ever, table log, table log. Exactly. It was insanely high, highly reviewed on table log as were the two restaurants we went to the next night and the night after. And what we came to learn is that if you see a review on table log higher than 4.0? - Juice numbers? - They've cooked the books. - Oh, so it's like an advertisement type of thing. - No. - It's sponsored. - And that it should be a real red flag. - No. - You spent your whole time in Japan eating the fucking advertisements? - Bro, I think it's even worse than that. I think there's like a deep state fucking click farm situation cooking them up. - Definitely. - Because I'm telling you, dude, my buddies were like the reason we vetoed an audible to these restaurants was because they were reviews were so much higher than the ones that friends of ours had recommended we go to. But we're like-- - God, I listened to your friends. - You're listening to table-long? - I mean-- - I didn't pick, I didn't-- - I know, I'm not playing with you. - I'm not playing with the money. - I'm not playing with the money show on that. - I'm running morning quarterback. - I also can't be mad at my friends because I wasn't involved at all in the choice of restaurant. - But they would agree that with this-- - It's the highest rated one. (laughing) - Those were their words about they were the ones that put the Jewish market as a reason why we failed. But so, okay, the next night we went to another Izakaya place. And Izakaya just means like, I think, you know, a sort of dishes, like they just bring out a menu of things. But it wasn't, there was one sushi course, but the rest of it was like different types of cooked meat and all this. And this one was in my favorite neighborhood, which was Io Yama. Did you go there? - I don't think I did. - Oh, it was great. Io Yama was, it's really cool. Let's just walk around the little streets, back streets, it's awesome. And Io Yama, they, at this restaurant, it was like very authentic Japanese Izakaya. To the point where we walked in, it was downstairs, low ceilings. People sitting on the floor, you take your shoes off, they were talking their legs under these like low tables, and then there was a counter. And it was very lively. People were smoking sigs. And every single person in the restaurant was Japanese. So we walked in, we were like, this is gonna be awesome. This is a really good sign, totally different from the first night. They bring us to this like back table that is quarantined, but tied behind two very thin doors. To the point where we are completely cut off from the restaurant. - Yeah, yeah. - All of that communal energy and vibe, we had gone, this was like a vibe choice. We are now, we can't see anybody else. - They're gonna bring our room. - I don't know why. I think it was like the only, I don't know why. I mean, first of all, it was good 'cause it was the only table that had chairs. And we're all pretty big dudes. So like, we, you know, sitting on the floor with my legs tucked under me with no back support for like two and a half hours, that would have been hell. - Yeah, that was actually happy that we were a little bit away from- - With the stretcher hip flexors before a meal like that. You have to get in the pigeon pose before you fucking sit down for a full meal. - The one funny thing about this was that our waiter would come and he was wearing a bandana that said like, fuck you, it's like all it said. - In English? - Yeah. - Yeah, there they go. There's just like, fuck you a hundred times. So we're like, all right, this is gonna be funny. And I think one of my buddies had read that like, you can get your waiters, they'll drink with you. - Oh yeah. - And we were ordering Saki and they were bringing them out in these ice cold bamboo bottles. Like the, just like a big thick bamboo shoot that had been hollowed out and they would fill it with Saki. It would, that was awesome. - Yeah, that sounds sick. - And he was just bringing them like, round after round. And every time he brought one, we would be like, do you want, do you want some? And he'd be like, no, no, no, okay. And then we'd fill him up a cup and it's sipping Saki. But he had to run back to keep working. So he would just chug it and then he'd put it down and he'd go, oh, mistake. (all laughing) - That's hilarious. - Oh, mistake. - So every then after that, every time he came back, we would go more mistake and he's like, no, no, no, all right, all right, all right. And then each time he put it down, he's like, - Whoa, mistake and run back. - He must have done like 12 chugs. - Damn, I mean, it was great. - That's crazy. - It was hilarious. - Out of respect, is it like a respect thing or why do they-- - It's got me. - I don't know, part of the gig. - If you get offered by some-- - I mean, it's probably, it makes his job a lot more fun. - Yeah, I think so. I think he was having fun. - Until it's every night. - Yeah, yeah, I just wanted to be a waiter. (all laughing) - But the first dish they brought out, the first dish of like nine was this house beef stew that had chunks of beef. in it, right? I took my chopsticks, I grabbed a piece of the beef, I put it in my mouth and chewed it and it was 100% gristle. I take that out of my mouth. If something, if I have to chew something for more than like 25 seconds, I'm not trusting my esophagus and stomach to be able to break it down if my teeth can't like fucking get that out of my body. You know what I mean? Like there's no way I'm fighting. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll put it on the side. So of the mindset, like we had come in with such positive energy because the previous evenings dinner had been such a failure. And this was another choice from the same guy who had chosen that one that I didn't want to like right off the bat, be like, oh boy, you fucked us again. Yeah. Yeah. And it was just pure, pure fat. There was no meat. Yeah. Just fat. Was it wagyu? No, not that. They did do a wagyu later, which by the way, so and Ron, tell me if you experienced this, I thought wagyu would be like the best of the best. I thought it was going to be something where it was like a special item on each menu, as it is here, you know, very often they'll be like, and by the way, if you're really feeling like going crazy, we have our a five wagyu, it's like a hundred bucks announced, whatever the fuck. I felt like everywhere we went, wagyu was almost the standard over there. And there's better shit than wagyu wagyu. Yeah. There's like, it's not even guaranteed the best. Like there's like fattier or more like succulent or like a cow that was only fed blue cheese olives. It's whole life or some shit like that. Like there's nicer options. There's there's degrees of wagyu. There's Kobe, you know, and I I was surprised, but I mean, it was cool. Like it was cool that wagyu was so prevalent. But I don't remember. I don't think we ever had like a real regular beef situation. Yeah. It was all that. What is King Tyler? Can you look up what even is what wagyu? It's the, it's just very like fatty beef, right? Type of high-end meat from a specific cattle bread originating in Japan. So maybe all the cattle are there. All the wagyu cattle are there. So it's like more common, like significantly more common. Like what's something that we have that's like everywhere? Is it like lays potato chips? Corn fed? Corn fed? Yeah. You can just get lays anywhere. But you have to go to a special store there to get some lays. I don't know. But what, so they had some later on in that meal? It was that later on. I mean, you know, look, the other part of it is like I wasn't hungry starting on day two for the rest of the trip. Oh, it just translates to Japanese cow. So all the beef there is wagyu as long as it's from their own cow. Maybe interesting. Maybe that's interesting. What the fuck? Yeah. So you weren't hungry the whole time. I mean, we were just because we were just like eating, is the tourism. It's all there is to do. That's like the cultural, you know, in fucking Paris, you go to museums or whatever. Like in Japan, in Tokyo, you eat and you drink and drink. Yeah. And, you know, we would like start our morning with breakfast at the hotel, which was like a full Japanese breakfast. I mean, I would, I was doing like the, they called it the gymnasium breakfast. It's like healthier because I was trying to like give my stomach a little bit of a break, but it still came with like played a meat and a play to an omelet. And so, you know, starting at 8 a.m. I'm full. Yeah. And I'm not like hungry. But then by like 1030, we're at the sushi market. Yeah. It is like a tuna sampler. Yeah. And then at like 1 p.m. It's pizza. And then at like 4 p.m. We're like stopping for a fucking burger. And then at like 730, we have dinner. Yeah. And you're just like, you just are, you have like 10% room in your stomach at the start of every meal. Yeah. And then you're just overeating the whole time. So, you know, I ate that bite of fat. And I was like, yep, that's it. I'm not eating again tonight. Really? Pretty much. First bite of the meal. Who you fucking talk about? I was like a one and done. Yeah. No way. It stuck to the socket. The only. Yeah. I was just drinking the whole time. Yeah. The only. And this was the only night that we actually like had the energy to go out because we all napped in the afternoon. But by the time I had one bite of the wagyu when that came out, but other than that, like the food, I just, it was not, not for me. I mean, if you're going out to, and I'm trying to fill up on a bunch of fatty meats. Exactly. But the place was cool. I don't remember what it was called. I could figure that out. The vibe was cool. Yeah. The vibe was cool. The waiter was hilarious. Then we went to this cool bar that was like all expats, but none of whom were from America. They were all from like, you know, Argentina and fucking France and Australia. There were some Irish guys. So it was like a collection of people who were getting after it and were boisterous. I noticed that a lot of the like, it's quiet. Yeah. People quiet everywhere in restaurants, in the streets, like at night, you know, whereas this was like one of those, it was like a bar that could have been in the East Village. Oh, that's cool. And it was fun. We had a good time there. And then we tried to go, we went to One Oak. Which one's that? Well, One Oak is a famous nightclub that was in New York City. It was for 17 years. Interesting. And they must have been before my time. Yeah. They had one over there. And like, my buddy knew some, you know, knew the guy from America who was like whatever. So we, we got in and we were there at one in the morning and there was nobody there. And I don't know if we were just there too early or sometimes when you're away and you're in like a foreign country like that, it really just feels like you're just like, you're, you're missing. Like what are we doing wrong? Yeah. We got it wrong. Like we're everywhere. We're going. It's empty or it's silent. Like I remember in Iceland walking into restaurants and it was like when we walked in, it was like the whole restaurant came to like a screeching halt. And it was like everyone is just dead silent. Yeah, you almost feel weird for like talking. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's exactly right. Um, this was just not, I mean, maybe, maybe it was like you got to be there at three a.m. Did you were, were you saying that Tokyo? It's like super late. Like they'd stay out like really, like it doesn't start until like really late. I don't know. I don't know. Ron, do you have any idea about that? I think it's such a big city that there's probably stuff going on at all times. Yeah. It's probably like New York where it's like if you want to have a crazy time at nine, you can or if you want to have a crazy time at three a.m. Yeah. That's probably available if you can find it. I know that like when one oak was open in the meatpacking district, it was a place that people like started the night. That got good at like two thirty. It was not like a midnight to one. Yeah. So maybe we were just there too early, but like we stayed for half an hour and left. Was it, did it feel very Japanese? Or did it feel like Western? That club was pretty westernized, but, but like very hype beastie. Yeah. You know? Yeah. What's your, what, what was like a, an experience where like wow, this feels like so Japanese and foreign and cool. Like what was something that like struck you as being very like locally cultural? That 400 degrees pizza thing was every single person in there was Japanese and, you know, they didn't speak much English and the pizza was made like quietly and everybody who was working at the restaurant was a woman. There was no, you know, like all the pizza makers, all everyone was a woman. So for some reason, that struck me as being uniquely Japanese. That's cool. We would say it looked great. Yeah. We went to there was a cool, I wanted to check out some of the design shops like some of the, you know, home, foreign stuff, home decor, get to the clothing. Yeah. I got to see the inside of the, can I see the stitching of those pants? Just as like, yeah, these are, this is the only thing I'm wearing that is is Japanese that I that I bought over there. But I have, I have, I bought other clothes, but I wore them all and had to, you know, some of them we've already sent to dry cleaning in summer in the wash. Yeah. I ran out of clothes, by the way, I was underpacked. Well, that's how you didn't bring any. Yeah. Because you have time to shop. Yeah. Which that's what we did all the fucking afternoon shop from like, well, 30 to like, 5 p.m. every day. And by the way, my buddies went way more nuclear than I. Really? Yeah. My one friend there was like losing his fucking house on pants pants. He bought so many pairs of pants, dude. I was truly like, and every time he'd be like, what do you think of these ones? And I was like, don't, don't, don't, don't those look exactly like one spot? Yes. He's like, I like them. I'm going to get them. I mean, were they all like big wide like chef pants with big pockets and shit? No, no, they weren't, they weren't nuclear. In fact, that was the one thing I really tried was like every time I'd be in a fitting room, I'd be like, do not look at these. through the lens of wow, these look really cool. Here in Tokyo, yeah, yeah, you have to ask yourself, will this be mocked mercilessly on the podcast if you wear it? So, you know, anyway, so he didn't really get anything that was, no, no, no, no, no, nothing too far out there. But, you know, we all were fans of the clothing before we went and had bought stuff made by these brands here in New York. And then seeing and doing the math on my phone of the conversion of the price tag to dollars, it was literally 50% of what I have paid. Yeah, that's pretty nice. For these same things from these brands. So, it was hard not to feel like we were getting a deal. Yeah, I mean, you are. Plus, you don't pay tax, you get a, you have their price tag and then they like deduct 10% from that because you present your passport. And they're like, yeah, you, you know, you get, you don't have to pay tax on this. 'Cause you're American? 'Cause you're not from Japan. You're taking it out of the country. So, it's duty free. That's pretty sick. Which by the way, that, that policy they're revising. It's, you know, normally like when you go to Europe and you put some shit at, you bring your receipt to the airport and then like weeks later, you get some refund in the mail or to your credit card or whatever. Yeah, they're, it's done in the shop. That's awesome. What's awesome for us, but they get fucked. Because people, people just lie. Oh, yeah. And they're like, and then they like resell stuff in country. Oh, shit. So they get it tax-free and then they like sell it and get whatever, you know what I mean? Yeah, that makes sense. Or they're, I don't know. They explained it somehow. Like someone explained to me, you know, Japanese dude being like, I'm not from here. From Wisconsin. (laughing) So anyway, I did, you know, I ran out of clothes and like, whatever, my stuff was so gross by the end that I actually legitimately consider just leaving like a whole bunch of dirty laundry in the country. You were gonna offload some American clothes? Yeah. Because I worked out and stuff. Sometimes you got it. And it was just like, I was, by the last day, it was like I could have done laundry through the hotel, but what is a no-bozo? (laughing) It would have been so expensive to do the laundry. So I just didn't, and I totally, totally underestimated, or overestimated how much space I had in my bag to bring things home. Such that when I was packing, I was like halfway through packing and I'm like, I am fucked. And I ended up having to bring all ahead was like a paper shopping bag with ribbons as handles. (laughing) And I filled that with dirty laundry and then like the pottery and ceramics and glassware at the top. Which I carried on through Japanese customs, security, all through the airport, then into my seat, all the way to Minneapolis, off the plane in Minneapolis through customs and immigration, then like rechecking in my bag, then into the delta lounge in Minneapolis, then home to LaGuardia. Like I'm talking a paper bag that weighed 30 pounds that I had to put a hand under because it was gonna break through the bottom and it was all my glassware and ceramics. Yeah, that's my good. That's like, unfortunately, like a slutty girl behavior. Yeah, it was really, like walking on with like a target bag. I trust that you pulled that move. I've done that before, yeah. It was really, you've got no choice. A target bag in here. Using a fucking, I've had to use like door dash bags that I got. It's a plastic bag with a sweatshirt in it. (laughing) That's the worst. It was really ratchet, babe. It was so ratchet. But, I mean, I was just praying through turbulence that like this bag that was in the overhead, I wasn't gonna open up my beautiful ceramic plates and how it's sour. Tell us about the ceramics landing in LaGuardia. It's dust. (laughing) You open up the overhead. It's just pouring out like sand. (laughing) Were they nice? So that was one thing I got really right. Was that I had good recommendations for like these home design and like craft stores. And I really got that right. There was this cool place called the Conran shop that had a couple of locations. I went to the one in Dicanyama, which was the other neighborhood I really liked. Yeah. And it's like half museum, half shop. And the shop was really cool. And the one thing that really caught my eye was this metal sort of stand inside of which fit for different colored beautiful glass coffee cups. Ooh. And you stack them. The one that was green, blue, amber and clear. Love that. And I was like, this is the coolest, most Japanese thing. I love this. It's gonna be hell to bring it home. Yeah. But I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna suck it up. I'm never gonna find this again. Yeah. And this is gonna go perfectly with my coffee setup and it's gonna look so fucking organized. It's so Japanese. Only the Japanese could think of this. I have a problem. Where after I buy something. I look it up. I look it up. That's a bad idea. You should never do that. To be like, did I get a good deal? Yeah. You never got a good deal. This morning I made my coffee and I poured these beautiful, fucking almond milk latte into one of my beautiful stacked cups. I was so pleased with the whole process. And as I'm sitting there, I didn't explode. No. That would have been great. Even worse sitting there. As I'm sitting there drinking my coffee. I look at the bottom of the thing. And I see the brand. And I think it was called Arlo and I was like, well, that doesn't sound very Japanese. So I googled this. It's all made in fucking Denmark. Denmark. No. No. It could be way worse. Yeah. The Danes are great. Yeah. We like Denmark. They can quality. Yeah. The Danes are pretty good. It wasn't Vietnam. No. India would have been a bad deal. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh my God. But it certainly wasn't Japanese. No. No. And you know, you can buy it from a Danish store. I'm pretty sure you can get it on Etsy. And I had to carry this stuff almost like on my head, all the, like, balancing it delicately through fucking layovers and all this stuff. And then you just see that the airport is your walk-in-line for sale. What the fuck? It's a Hudson news. It's just a classic total in Minnesota. Like, oh, I didn't ask, like, by the way, is this Japanese? And part of the reason that this is funny is that early on, um, you know, I, I found out that there are certain things made by brands that we all know that you can only buy in Tokyo. Like they issue limited editions of Tokyo, Tokyo exclusive versions. And my buddy and I started making jokes where like, we would constantly ask like, is that a Tokyo exclusive? Yeah. Like a banana, you know, or whatever. But it did, you know, you know me, I'm a sucker for scarcity. Yeah. Of course. So like, yeah. Any time, like, I found something that was a Tokyo exclusive, I was just like, I have to have that. Yeah. Um, and in fact, I think this is a great moment for present Monday. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yes. Was hoping. We were hoping for presents. Yeah. We got it. We got a pretty good present Monday. Wow. This is insane. Not a Tokyo exclusive. We're going to do this without any fanfare. It's true. It goes your ass. It goes your ass. Oh, man. We'll do hairball first. Hairball. Oh, my God. My first pounding. All right. Go ahead. Let's see. We'll do hairy first. Oh, wow. This is great. Yeah. I know this sounds crazy. And I'm not making a joke here. Like literally I went to the Elobean store and they have a rack that's like Japan edition. Really? Yeah. So you can. Now, they did get this in free port man. No. They did do it. Yeah. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. This is the Japan edition of LLB. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. This is the Japan line of LLB. Yeah. I mean, I know this sounds crazy. Like literally I went to the LLB and store and they have a rack that's like Japan edition. They did do a pop up in New York City for like a week of Japan edition LLB. And it sold out immediately and I didn't get to it. Damn. So. That's sick. I thought this was really pretty nice. Sure. Show that. Show that shirt. Oh, that's heavy too. Yeah. That's how you can tell. This is a cool ass fly. And there's a fucking full portrait on the front. Yeah. Oh, that's the back. That's the back. I thought this was pretty cool. This is super nice. God damn. It's only $7,000, too. Bro, I could not decide. I wanted to get you. The shirt was what caught my eye for you. I was like, he's going to love that. And but then I was like, well, first of all, I was like, that's not enough because what I got. Oh, you must have got a round. What I got run was. Oh, no. Oh, wow. They love. Oh. This is the Tokyo calisific edition of their colon. - No. - No. Yeah, yeah, what what do you you're not wearing it right now? I'm wearing a different one because you came in smelling fucking immaculate Have you never opened up a package before by the way? I was convinced if you might have this I'm trying to do it. It's your first time. I'm gonna do it delicately brother. You're supposed to just cut the you can Fuck the box up. That's fine. I want to do it. You just cut along this. Yeah. Yeah. That's what yeah I mean, I would need a knife for that. No, you wouldn't let me do it. That's over. Okay This package genius. Oh Yeah, yeah, wow. It seems so easy You're straining with all your might. Here we go That was pretty Wow Thank you. By the way, they actually make they like made it there in like a lab. It took them 45 minutes. Wow Really? Yeah, I was kind of annoyed. I was like they were like it's gonna take us 45 minutes to make this which was cool But I was like a guy act 10. Yeah guy act 10. Oh my god. That's great. Can I give this a live spritz? Yeah So the cool thing about this is that um miss mail I also bought myself so I thought it was awesome. Oh my god That smells like pure well. Yeah, you can give yourself a little spray. No, no, no, but very refreshing Oh my god. It has your name on the bottle. Yeah, what? Yeah, yeah personalized. Yeah What the fuck? Let's pour around wow That's so nice look at this guy act 10. So now that you have that You can go to Lilabos in America and like your grandfathered in and they'll make it for you here as a refill for that bottle The Tokyo the Tokyo exclusive. Yeah, they can make it on the spot They own they're they make it in three sizes. They make it in the like it love it got to have it 50 half 15 mill This is the 50 then there's the hundred And the uh the 50 and the 100 mill you can get refills like if you have a bottle that you bought you know in Japan That's nice like just salad Yeah, we advise to keep your creation away from light and heat when not in use. Yeah, don't like the way of it Don't even have it by heat yet. I put the cap back on too Where did I put the cap? No respect. What do you mean? Where did I put the cap right there Jesus. Oh, here he's being very protective of it. Yeah, he's very respectful of this beautiful. Yeah, so I got I knew I thought It's so nice. I thought this would be since we've talked about Klon I'm obsessed with it now and uh, well, I actually got in his clone when you were gone. Oh good I have way too many by bought I had extra yen. So I just went to the duty free fucking Dior Dior Sovage sure why not load it up. Why not? But Harry I thought so the t-shirt caught my eye and then I was like It's not enough. Rones was way more than if I just gave you a t-shirt and gave him that it wouldn't be fair And so I felt like a parent where I was like I have to spend equal Roughly equal Two sons. Yeah, now the gauntlet has been thrown sick because I'm going to I'm going to London on Thursday and now I feel like I have to go tip for that now at this point I'm going to look up how much the fucking laylabo costs a lot a lot of yen and try and hit the yen you got to buy it with yen though No, I have to buy it with pounds and pens That's such a nice gift holy shit. I'm genuinely But I'm excited. I have gifts for all the boys too. I just I need 10 days Whoa, you just need to give me 10 days and I will have gifts for you Trafficking humans what it's gonna take 10 days. I'll have gifts for you in the shipping containers What the fuck? Yeah, what is it or it's better to be I'll surprise them. I gotta get the visas handled and all that It's brides Wow, that's so nice. Thank you so much. Yeah, my pleasure guys that's such a nice gift and so such a thoughtful cherry on top So rated out of 10 right your trip out of 10 because it seems like wow you Are exhausted and had some bad eating experiences also haven't heard about the flight Yeah, I mean, I know I know I've been talking the whole time is just as what it is uh that was always gonna happen the um The uh here for it. I was prepared for I actually had this factored in as a yeah as a listening day. Yeah Yeah, yeah, one of those one of those. Yeah, I don't got much Nothing happen. We'll talk ball for like 10 minutes after. Yeah, um Ravall's a great guy. I'm back in on him and into anything wrong It what what probably happened was his wife wasn't giving him the attention Flaming the wrong person here Let's get percini on the field Yeah, dude, so um No, I say the meals like the dinners would have oh and then the last night that I skipped because I was like we had this really cool Sockie tasting thing at a place called 12 that my buddy hooked us up with which was awesome That was a real highlight That was at 930 and I was so dead on that last day That I was and I was sick that I was like guys if I come to dinner, I'm not gonna make that yeah, so it's one or the other And they were like no problem skipped dinner. Yeah, they went They went to a Chinese restaurant. Oh another place that was highly rated on table log They told me It was a two and a half hour episode of fear fact Was the food just like inedible food was like truly like Chinese Wet market The real Chinese food right Pangolin. Yeah, like literally like jelly Stop fucking rat tail in it. I mean, I'm making that up. They they were like They were like I we couldn't eat it. It was inedible. They like Also, there was such a language barrier apparently between them The whole I was on the reservation. They tried to explain Early on yeah to the people like he's not coming. We're just two. Yeah, and the person would be like two two and then they brought out every plate for me. Oh really and by the way They didn't bring out their first dish. They sat for an hour. Oh because the restaurant waiting for me Oh my god, and then finally and like every time they'd send the plate that was for me back It's like no, we don't need a third plate of see an enemy. Oh God Chinese people pretending to be Japanese. I don't know what they said it was they said it was like truly the worst Like just I mean, I believe it's horrible experience Um, that's terrible. So I was happy to have missed that for sure Um, but yeah, the while the dinners to me weren't like we had a great time We our friendship vibes were super high and then the lunches were like unbeliefable. Yeah, and that that That mark is super like the sort of market area in Ginza Where they do that the just the Toro Like sampler was one of the best things I've had and there were a lot that was like Weird it was weird like you just walk up and like a you know a quick line and then they just give you like the the lean The medium fatty and the fatty and it's three pieces of each on rice and it's unbelievable That sounds really good and like the whole trip I probably got recognized seven times Six of those times were in the line at that damn really so it was a lot of like he that was coming up to you in Japan That was probably well, that was all tourists Japan says that's crazy their name rings bells over there And it was all people being like we can't hear about this on the pod like hand we're both listeners School internationally fuck bro. Yeah, um, price just went up. Yeah, that's a big. I didn't know that I know we were doing numbers in Tokyo. I didn't buy a knife. No, I wanted to Just kind of like kept missing the store You know the same thing happened to me that happened to you with the Danish cut or the cups from Denmark. I got a knife and it was like Swedish. Oh really? You got a Swedish shirt This army knife. Yeah, I got this red Swiss army knife. I was like wow, this does a lot. They have so a corkscrew Their innovation is second to none. Have you guys have you guys like I looked at the sweet the Swiss army knife website the other day They got a lot of gear. Yeah, they do they got they still are selling those ones That are like two hundred tools like this thick It's more just like a flat Are they do they get really thick they make well they make big knives too, but yeah, they make the Yeah, they make someone dumped out a kitchen sink kind of want one Yeah, it's kind of cool. Maybe we could get you one in England. Oh, when I was a kid I cut my hands so bad it with a Swiss army knife dude We got one two and my sister cut her hand and immediately got that my Swiss army knife taken away Same with my fucking fencing swords. She got injured dumb bitch It pays it's my appaze I fucking Smoked her with the knife and the appay. Do you guys remember the Swiss army knife from get smart I don't you don't Steve Carell. I like that movie remember he had the Swiss army knife that had like a blowtorch on it This one is sawing a piece that one was sawing a branch of wood Uh, you're in real trouble if you're sawing wood with a Swiss army knife That's how you know you're fucked You ever have to use the saw No, but Harry asked you about the flight brother. Yeah. So we flew Japan air on the way over. And my buddy was super generous and got me that flight business class. It was sick. It was really good. Yeah. The picture you showed of yourself starfished onto a bed with a mirror on the ceiling was incredible. You know, there's just like a couple things that are different where first of all, you know, you you recline the bed or whatever. Your feet don't touch. Love that. Your feet don't touch the front. Love that. There's also I've noticed there's not really anywhere to put the shoes either on all of those shoes. They had a cubby for your shoes. They had a coat hanger with a sliding door where you could hang your own coat inside your thing. That's sick. They had, you know, the food menu, it was like, you could either do the Japanese menu or the American. I chose the American, which was a mistake. Really? They brought out all the Japanese food first. And by the time people were finishing their desserts, I was getting like my first thing. I hate that. It was almost like they did it with disdain probably all of the flight attendance. The whole crew, everybody was Japanese. Very nice. I'm trying to think what else? Gaysha's. Do you think that they were Gaysha adjacent? No. Gaysha energy. Gaysan. No. Did you ever did you? Like are Gaysha's prostitutes or definitely not, right? I don't think they are. I don't know, but they're like just companion women. They're like professional flurters. Yeah, escorts. I guess. No, escorts. Fuck. You can be their host. They're, they're, they're, they're called hosts. I think it's hosts. They're like, sounds like an escort. They sit down with you. They like shoot the shit. They work host. They like, they make you feel liked. Yeah. But it's maybe it's more than that. Maybe though, like, Canyon. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I think I've told the story a while ago, but we went to like, we were in LA filming something in me, Tommy and another dude went to a strip, like a strip club, but it wasn't a strip club in LA. And we went in and it was like, they were like, this is actually a companionship bar. Yeah. It's like, you pay the girls to talk. That's what they do in Japan. We didn't. We left. By the way, I wanted that clear. We didn't. I don't want to hear them speak. We didn't partake. It wasn't that like the, they're like, yeah, you're paying for a conversation. And then the janitor came outside and he was like, yes, you mean realistically, if you're going to go out on the date, you're going to have to pay, you're going to have to pay 200 for dinner anyway. Get back at your ass back in there. It was jar. It was a jarring experience. Well, that is what they do in Japan is because like the men are so lonely and nobody, yeah. Insels. There's a little bit of an insel. I don't know. Maybe. I don't think that's the issue, though. There's just like people don't. The fear of rejection is apparently so high that nobody. Really? Nobody goes up and is like, hey, I think you're pretty. I want to go out on a date. But there's like a famous Japanese viral video where they asked all these women. Maybe it's from the early 2000s or late 90s or something. And they asked all these women, like, would you be like insulted? Like if your husband cheated on you? And they're like, no, if it was like a physical like thing, just like, no, it wouldn't bother me at all. It was like that they had a very like detached feeling about like the sexuality of it. It was almost like, yeah, I just would be happy that he's fucking like, I just don't want him to be an insel. Interesting. And their population rate is plummeting. Yeah. They're really, I say that wrong. Tokyo was the biggest city I've ever been to. It just keeps going. It's beyond belief how big it is. I'll fucking month there. Yeah, different neighborhoods. The whole. Yeah. It's like if you took Brooklyn, Queens, fucking Jersey city, all the different burrows, you know, the Bronx and didn't separate them with rivers or like denoted. It was just one big. It was just like, all right, another 20 minute Uber and we'll be in this neighborhood. Another 20 minute Uber will be here. Were you Ubering a lot or the whole time. We did take the subway. The Ubers every time I got first of all, the Ubers, you made the point. You were like, everyone there is going to be the most professional person you've ever seen. They take their jobs so seriously. Yeah. Where I noticed that the most was the Uber drivers. Every single Uber driver we had was wearing a black suit with a black tie and white gloves. Damn. They looked like they were delivering a Steinway PM. It was unbelievable how formal they were. They all had two hands on the wheel. They were driving perfectly. The air quality, the, you know, AC was perfect. Also, all the Ubers, 90% of the Ubers that we took were these like cars where they're a bit like in the shape of a London taxi, except in the back, the two seats in the in the first row would be like gaming chairs like or like massage lazy boys. You could recline them with a button. There was like, you know, they were so comfortable. I got better. They got better seats out there. They had really nice seats. And this is like what the basic baseline Uber was. So the Ubers were really nice. But whenever we would get in them, that was sort of where like we would get so tired. Oh, yeah. Was because all of a sudden, like the energy and fresh air would go away and we'd be in a car for 25 minutes and it would just sap all of the energy out of the day. Yeah. I mean, when you're, I feel like once you sit down or when you go back to your hotel room, that's when you realize like how tired you are. Yeah. What did you guys. I completely forget what I was going to say. I was going to ask a question about our hotel was really sick. Our hotel was unbelievable. I mean, it's really like honestly, the thing that I noticed the most from the hotel was the comforter on the bed. It looked just incredible. Did I send you a video of my room now? I have one still photo just a still photo of the view. Okay. Yeah. I mean, my and I think that I think you replied and I think the text was like, I feel fucking awful. And it was the sickest hotel. There was like something out of like a James Bond movie. The hotel was unbelievable. It's sick. Stayed at the bulgari. It was fucking crazy. The view was insane. How was the hotel bar? Was it nice? Hotel bar was awesome. What would what was so? I have become such a sucker for hotel bars. That go to New York. That's where I want to go out for a drink hotel bar. I'm not going to a sports bar. I'm not going to, I want to go to a nice hotel bar because it's quiet. It is very quiet. It's quiet. A good hotel bar is very nice. Getting back to bar still open. Unbelievable. That was always like my favorite part of being on the road. Yeah. Yeah. Was that like I'd eat my meals at the hotel. And then after the shows, go back to my hotel and have a night camp with Luke before he went off and found some hooker. Yeah. No, that is very fun. That's some negation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He didn't actually find a hooker, but he was. I've told that story. So, um, so what are you drinking at the hotel bar? I'm thinking like a passion fruit like Yuzu vodka drink. Yeah, they had. They had a really good gin drink with like cucumber and, you know, lemon. Alrighty, guys. Let's talk about butcher box. Healthy eating gets a lot simpler when you've already got quality ingredients ready to go. Instead of overthinking dinner, I can focus on making something I actually enjoy eating. Butcher box helps make the healthy choice the easy choice because butcher box delivers 100% grass fed beef, organic chicken, wild caught seafood and more all source to standards that they can actually tell you about. They've done the research and made the tough sourcing decisions. So all you have to decide is what's for dinner. I am obsessed with cooking meat. I feel like that's something I've taken on and butcher box not only makes for a good home life, but also it's a great gift. 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So you grab the food with the Venmo debit card, pick up the drinks, get whatever else, everyone's somehow forgot. And then you get back to the house where the friend of the frame. friend who has contributed nothing is explaining why the new left guard that was picked up in free agency is the problem. You let them have that. You have a tailgate to manage. Have your friends send that money and you can spend that money. Spend your balance instantly with the Venmo debit card with no monthly fee or minimum balance. Learn more at Venmo.com/cart. Venmo balance account required to use a balance and get the card effective November 1st, 2026. The Venmo master card is issued by the bank or bank NA. I do like cucumber in some beverages. That's a girlish of you. You've been spending time at the sewing high council. I could tell. You can't say that knowing I can't defend myself. Exactly. Have you been to rights? I have the photographic evidence of you at the high council. But there are some good cucumber drinking a hollowed out cucumber because cucumber can't like have you as are had water with cucumbers hate it. Quite refreshing. I don't love that. Too vegetal for me. I like it. Yeah. It's like having water season with like broccoli. I find cucumbers to be like the least gross vegetable. Well, they have the least taste. Exactly. I find the taste repulsive. I don't like cucumber in anything. I don't like cucumber salads. That's my one childish. Oh, I think cucumber salad. Anything else. Like I would eat the fucking massive clam before I'd have. I wouldn't. I swear to God. I swear to God. I would. I imagine in that oyster just like the size of a tennis ball. Yeah. It was like it just cuddles to the right of your plate a little bit and sits back down like oysters are already kind of gross. But they're great. Yeah. But like I can't imagine them being bigger. This one wasn't briny. It wasn't like it was just just life. Well, it just tasted like a taken a bite out of the world. It just tasted like mush sort of like wet metallic because even like you ever get like an oyster that's a little too big. Yeah. Like that's what I'm thinking. But I'm just imagining it bigger than that. I mean, this they cut it in half. Yeah. That is you act with a knife. Like I'm going to think about that tonight. Yeah. God. Did like, did you have any, any tables you or did you go into any restaurants where it was like, oh, this is the smallest space I've ever been in. I can touch each one of the walls from where I'm standing. Yeah. That that that that is a fireplace. Well, no, the the ramen place was was really really. And then we went into some other places. We just have like so many small meals. There was a lot of like fast casual places are fucking awesome. Oh, yeah. I'm sure where like you go in and you put in your order on a screen before you sit down. Oh, yeah. And then you sit down like we went to this burger place where they put the burger on rice. Oh, they put it on rice and they have these different sauces and then like that they have a sauce that they put over a little flame for you. That was awesome. That's incredible. It was really, really good. I think a burger place is where I found out that there was like, Oh, wagyu is not even close to the best. They had a wagyu burger. We were having wagyu burgers there. But we had four like three different patties. I mean, this is the reason I was never hungry too. Yeah. It's a lot of food. You go three p.m. four p.m. and they bring out three burgers. That's a whole day of eating. Three three, we each had three meals over rice. Like rice is going to fill you the fuck up. Yeah. Exactly. I love a good meat and rice though. That's a staple. A lot of beers. A good amount of beers. Yeah. Cocktails. You know, we went to I thought I thought there would be I thought the cocktails. Maybe we just didn't go to the right places. We went to this one place called SG club, which was like a cocktail bar that gets a lot of great reviews. You're getting fleeced by these reviews. No, but like people in the know friends of mine had been like go. Yeah. It was good. I maybe I didn't order the right cocktails. Also everyone in there was a dude. I don't know. And it was super crowded. Dude, nothing is spaced from people who were six foot three. No, no. I mean, why would it be like if the chairs and the boot? Like you literally are you're just sitting like this the whole fucking time. The one weird thing I found was that in all the clothing shops we went to, everyone was like, dude, you're never going to find anything in your size. I only found things in my size because there's the only thing in stock. Correct. Yeah. Everything else was sold out. Yeah. But like they were like, Oh, you're you have you're the only side half of that size six left. We have everything. Yeah. That was kind of cool. I was I was happy about that. I would say that the the brand of clothes that I was a store that we did the most damage in was this company called oppress a a dot P R E S S E. How does that sound familiar? A press. I mean, you're thinking probably J press. No, no, I'm not anyway. Okay. Well, I tried. I'm thinking of oppress. Okay. They have a location in New York. Uh-uh. Hmm. But they I mean, they so you can find their clothes here. It's just double the price. Yeah. Yeah. So knowing that it's too expensive to buy here. But they're I bought any unit clothes. Yeah. I went into the. Oh, really? Was it massive? It's overwhelming. Yeah. It's five floors. Love that. And like it's it's as if they're like doing a fire sale. Yeah. I mean, the clothes are so packed. They're so. It's like it's like, it's like they have like the clothes like on the floor. Yeah, exactly. It's like shirts everywhere. It's bargain bin. But like, I mean, it was packed. I heard about this. I saw a video of this clothing store in Japan. And it was a rock climbing store. And I think that they were tired of how do you say that? Arcterics. Yeah. They're tired of like people using a Arcterics or like North Face has like a fashion brand. They only wanted it for climbers only. So they made the first floor into like a boulder or really? So you have to climb to the second floor. And like, then you can get the legitimate hiking gear. Oh, that's cool. It's cool. It's like the climbing gear. But you have to earn it. And I just I wish I told you about it because I know that you would have taken all that. Yeah. That great boulder of Japan. The the thing that like there were just some things that kind of like slipped away from me that I was wanting to do and and and check out one of which was that well, this I went to the tailor made store. Oh, and that's pretty tailor made is partnered with four play. So like whenever I go with them, you know, we wear tailor made stuff and we play tailor made clubs. And I love tailor made. Yeah, like I was playing their clubs before. Yeah. Yeah. I started shooting with them and would pay so much money for them. So I love tailor made and they have a big store in Tokyo. And I really wanted to find like some cool Japan exclusive tailor. Yeah, of course. Like maybe something that said tailor made in Japanese writing. They didn't have that unfortunately, but they did have a collaboration with this really cool Japanese brand called United arrows. And all that stuff was fucking awesome. And I tried on a pair of pants, but it was like the day that I was leaving. And I'd already spent so much money. I had no room left in my bags. And I just was like, I literally can't allow myself to get any more of this. And I regret that because you're still thinking about that stuff was awesome. Whenever you think about something for more than a day, so I almost feel like you got to make that purchase or I mean, I know it's too late now, but that's true regret. And you really can't find it online. Unlike those cups, which you can find on Etsy for like 50 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you didn't get those cups, that's so much more room. And you wouldn't have had to be so careful in Minneapolis. Yeah. I mean, I bought. So then I bought like two really cool ceramic plates that were, I mean, just I was just terrified bringing these things home. Yeah. I mean, ceramic that she could break it any sudden. And it's like if it breaks, it's you're done. Throw it away. Yeah. Yeah. Then also by Rado, which makes really nice Cologne, also did a Japan exclusive, called Saboro that I bought. I bought some guy act 10. And then a bunch of clothes. That's it. That's everything. Oh, and then some a bunch of wood stuff about like a wood tray. This place called Coma Shop that I've been following on Instagram for a while. Interesting. A rolling tray? No, it's like a tea tray. You would bring you would bring what I want to do because I like making cocktails for people. Yeah. Is you know, have people over make the cocktails and bring them out on a tray on this wood tray. Love that. It's got velvet on the platter. And then it's wood all the way around with wood handles. It's cool. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Definitely got a roll on that. I feel like you're going to have that upstate. Yeah. You're going to have to get upstate. Yeah. Did a cocktail on that. Yeah, you guys will come up to get any of that Japanese kosher out there. No, they were to cut his hand off. I didn't see that anywhere. I didn't that was not. There was no weed culture, no weed like paraphernalia, nothing. Interesting. They did have a cool vape store. And I thought about going in there to like buy you guys cool vapes. But I don't know what you like. And I figured that was way too specific and highly likely. Zero tolerance on recreational cannabis. wow. prison sentences of up to seven years. holy shit. I was done after four days. So staying for seven years, we've been way too long. Oh Trump would have got your ass out. I wonder. Trump would have gone to war for you. Definitely. He would have. That would have been awesome. DT. Yeah, that would have helped with the pot a lot. If you were like our Brittany grinder. Yeah, doing doing. Yeah, France, five milligrams to Japan. And now he's in prison for a decade. It would have made us controversial, but it would have been good for the. Yeah, there would have been a lot of people though that would have been like, well, you got to follow the rules. Yeah, you should have known. Yeah. I we're going to free Francis. We're going to trade Francis for Victor boot. What about the Marines? Skyly scored seven goals in college. By the way, I tried to get my like some Xanax filled from my psychiatrist before I went, but it's not easy. Couldn't get it. Didn't get it done in time. And so they asking you all the questions. No, no, no, she just didn't even respond. But like, can I get some drugs for my fun weekends? I was just like for the flight. You know, yeah, I've done it before. Yeah, easy to talk to your boy. Well, I've got to got you right. Right. Clonies, Xanax. We got some clonies though. Of course. We got tapins out the ass. Yeah, abundance of them. Yeah. So my point is I went over without any kind of sleep aid, but miraculously, as I'm on my plane, I'm fishing in this little side pocket looking for a charger. And what do I feel? But the vial of drama mean. Oh, from fish week in Florida. Oh, and that wasn't non drowsy either. It was drowsy. Yeah, that was super drowsy. So I took that on the plane. And that's that knocked me the fuck out. I took it there and on the way back on the flight back, I slept eight of the 11 hours. Well, that's probably why you were fucked for four days. Because you were like living off the drowsy drama mean. Yeah, I feel like that shit like makes you drowsy the next day. Yeah, you're like stumbling through it. You don't know if you're dreaming or not. Yeah, I was fine the first night. I just couldn't no matter when we went to bed. I couldn't I couldn't sleep by 6 a.m. And nothing fucking opens until even the coffee shops don't open till like eight or nine or something. Nine damn lazy. Yeah. Yeah, weird. I was lazy. Yes, Japanese. Yeah, they start late. Me. I'm two cups in by eight. Easy. I can't believe it. I'm so it's this is genuinely smells like a it smells like an expensive hotel room. Yeah, it smells it smells quite refreshing like a cucumber drink almost. Don't even put that on this. Don't even put that psychological old factory. I was definitely getting a hint of cucumber. There's no cue in this. The cue makes me puke. I can't fuck with the cue. I'm not a cucumber at all. There was like a week before they banned all the flavored jewel pods where they had cucumber jewel pods and they were so good. It was like the best and then there was just everything was gone. That sounds terrible later. That sounds awful. It was really good. There's no way really good. There was such refreshing jewel. It is. It was very quite refreshing. Yeah, I probably hit the back of the throat like a nice mint. Oh, so good. Take me back. What do you guys want in England? What can I like obviously you're on a fridge? I actually need a list of every fragrance you have just in case I get a fragrance because I'd be sick if I got you a dupe. Yeah, I do have something, but I will send you the money for it. No, no, no, what is it? Herids has an exclusive colon. I love that. Where is it? Coventry Gardens. Yeah, Herids, is that, have you been to Herids? No, yeah. No, I haven't. Herids is the coolest store ever. It's like a massive macy's, but it's even more stuff. Better. Yeah, they got like they sell like fireplace. Yeah, everything. How does your ass know? How's your uncultured ass know? So I've been to London. I think I went to I went to Herids and they had like a NASCAR jacket or something or I know it was a NASA jacket. And I was like, I was like begging my mom to let me get the NASA jacket. It was like $5,000. She was like no shot. I think I know that company that did that NASA line. Is that sick? Heran Preston. I think is the name of that company 15 years ago. Can you look up Heran Preston NASA line? NASA jacket, Herid's perfume. Heran Preston, NASA. That NASA stuff they did was super cool. Yeah, like this stuff, right, Harry? That's what it was wasn't. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's it. Looks like it. Trying to tell me I didn't know. I knew exactly right. It's not it. No, this stuff was awesome. Now because the jacket was blue. They made it, they make a blue. What does NASA stand for? North American Space Agency or some other shit. Yeah, I've gotten this wrong before. So I'm not going to weigh in. I have no clue. National Aeronautics and Space Administration. So it's American. Basically, my question is so that's an American agency that we're selling in England, in an England store. Like if we had like a MI6 jacket at at fucking Nordstroms. Oh, yeah. Dude, by the way, in Herids, the thing I remember that was so cool is that they have this like spy section. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that? I do. And like, they literally sell gadgets that are like, if you press this button on this fake radio, all the electrical devices in the room will turn off. That's called a pinch. Yeah. It's not what a ocean 11. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. We could do a pinch. Oh, if you bought me one of those, I would be really happy. If I bought a pinch. Yeah, that would be sick to have. Yeah, but I like bump into it on the airplane. Like a podcast and it's not going well. Just kill. Yeah. Right. Right. Especially the men in black. Yeah. Yeah. They have really stuff where I'm like, is this legal? That you, you know, it's a great gadget store. The gadgets are crazy. They got to go check out all the gadgets, but it's going to take you a long time to get through them all. They're like, really? I don't remember it being that big. Oh, I remember being massive. Oh, I remember it felt like some of your best gadgets around like a museum. Some of your favorite gadgets you want from Herids. Oh, I have to. I feel like they have like an umbrella where the fucking handle is a sword. Yeah. Like they have stuff like that. Yeah. I think the Herids exclusive fragrance might be by ex nihilo. So anyway, I don't, I, I'm going to need this written down. I'm going to read me this written long hand. I'm going to send you a couple of things that I need while they're out there. The sword in the, in the stone. The sword umbrella for sure. The binoculars that see through women's clothing. The shoes with the mirrors on the top of them. There's an Aston Martin where you press the button of the gear shift and it turns into a missile launcher. I'm going to need you to pick that up for me. It is going to be nice. I'll have a guy waiting there for you with all my items selected. It's different. I think I had so much built up in my mind about Japan. You know, it's kind of been the obsession of mine. I'm fundamentally aware that I did not see much of the country and I did not go for very long and I wasn't, you know, really doing that much cultural stuff. I tried to take a tour of the Imperial Gardens, but it was like two hours. They only do guided tours. You cannot walk around that park unless you are part of a guided tour. We're like, I don't have time. Yeah, and I'm trying to do a two hour tour. So I think I probably need to go back, but right now I can't even think about ever traveling again. Yeah, I mean, those flights are pretty brutal. Do I try going somewhere that's not 24 hours away? Yeah, but you get the 24 hours back on the flight back. That's true. That is true. Yeah, I spend your Sunday. Like I landed in Minneapolis in time to watch like the second half of the giant scheme. Oh, that is nice. And it was like just watching that on my phone and Delta Lounge while I had a two hour layover. It was great. What's the Delta Lounge? Yeah, the giant one. You want the Delta Lounge? They want a great game. I literally didn't watch a second of the giant's game. I don't know how the giants are three and one. Good team. Yeah, but they've lost like, I mean, their defense is pretty insane. Okay, they lost probably their best one of their best defensive players. Brian Burns. Yeah. And they lost their franchise quarterback in the second week. We don't need them. They got a duel. They got, I mean, that rookie R. Vell Reese's look like he's thumping bodies of duels looking like a demon. Yeah, cave on. Debato is, I mean, he's a high pedigree player that Deontay Banks had that reception interception return for touchdown. He looked fucking. Yeah. The, um, the nine now. Did you see that CJ Gardner Johnson? Is that his name? Oh, yeah. You see what he said about Chisholm Chisholm's yeah. He's like, he's like, he's an elevator operator. Yeah. He's an elevator guy. What I'm only the full thing to say about a white receiver. There's a guy on the upper east side wearing a fucking newsboy cap who, oh, six floors. yes, ma'am. Good to see you. They're killing him online. Can I help you with your groceries? They said that, uh, they're people are just ripping on him because he's been on four teams in the last four years. Yeah, maybe more than that, honestly. Yeah. He was on the bears, Eagles, Lions, Eagles again, Texans. Was he on the Colts? Is he on the Colts now? Or no? No, he was on the Colts last year, wasn't he? I don't know. But he is, I mean, the Eagles went to two Superbolts when he was on the team. He's a kind of player. You need like one guy that's dumb as fucking rocks. You need one guy in your defense that like cannot like count to 10. Wow, what a game. Pat's bills. Yeah, Greg, that must have been tough for you. No, now it wasn't. It was quite easy to your two favorite teams. The two great loves three favorite teams. Oh, it was my third Eagles. Oh, brother. You couldn't even pay me to watch the Eagles, right? Why are there so many pictures of you and Eagles gear then? I mean, it's because I had it. People give it to me. Okay. I've said it before. I'll wear anything. I don't care what it is. Obviously. I got it. Come on, bro. It's a great shirt. It's a Soccer jersey. A Patriot Soccer jersey. Soccer jersey. You do look like you're going to be selling us hot dogs. I mean, it's a great shirt. Look, I got a show support for my team. My team won the call. My team won yesterday. Your team lost to a bad team yesterday, which is fine. They were super team. It's like, I wouldn't call them a super team. Super team. I would call them a team with a two good players. We lost them. Super team without six all pros. Who's the super team? The Rams. Who's a super player on the super team? Last year's MVP. Yeah, last year's effort. Stafford. It's pretty good player. I don't 50 years old. The guy who had two rushing. You guys couldn't keep up with a 50 year old man. 50. That was not, bro. He's way. He's 10 years younger than Brady was when he won his last Super Bowl. 10 years younger. And you think you think, yeah, I'm just saying. You guys lost to a bad team. You got shit on. Your team is genuinely a disgrace to the game. It's not fun to watch. No one wants to watch a team scores zero points. You're lashing out because France has pointed out that you look like a cracker jackson. You couldn't even wear your team's teams colors today. There's so great about the Red Sox and the Patriots that is deeply conflicting to me. I don't know how it's just showing support. Even though it's the same color. It's just like a child that got to Boston for the first time. Right. Like I was aware. I was aware and like you're wearing Celtics pants. Let's see the Bruins on these Bruins ice skates. Like I was I was aware that I might take some criticism for my outfit, but I'm fine with that. As long as I got to show support for my team. I really, really wanted to get you some cool sneakers. Oh, yeah, but that's too hard to buy for someone. You can't buy someone's sneakers now because you don't know how if they're not going to fit. And I knew you just might throw them away. I felt like green hoodie, safe, bad, elbrine, well, being brand that you like, definitely exclusive, great gift, Francis. No, I'm not reaching for I'm just. This is best gift gift Monday. This is the best one that you've done. Oh, that's very kind. It is. Alrighty. Let's talk about tempo meals. Tempo meals. The holidays have a way of swallowing my whole calendar and cooking is always the first thing to go. Tempo's keeps you fed and actually eating well through the chaos two minutes and you've got a real meal. Tempo delivers fresh chef-crafted dietician-approved meals right to your door. It's making it easy to eat well and to save time on my busiest days. Each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast without the sad desk lunch or drive through regret. With over 20 recipes each week made from nutrient-rich ingredients, tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits. And no matter your goals, there's a tempo meal for you. Protein packed meals with over 30 grams of protein, fiber-rich, calorie conscious, gut support and even GLP-1 smart meals. Get GLP-1 smart meals delivered to your door this summer. Tempo meals are full of protein and fiber making it easy to reach your goals and feel your best. It's convenient but also flexible enough to fit the way you want to eat. For limited time tempo meals is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to tempo meals.com/boydad. That's tempo meals.com/boydad for 60% off your first box. That's tempo meals.com/boydad rules and restrictions may apply. Yeah, I'm going to, oh, you know what? Raxing 10 soon. I'll get you guys, what do you guys want anything from Lexington? You have a bear meat. Yeah, yeah. Bring me I'll see what I can do. Actually, a Thai Reese Maxi Kentucky jersey. You're not going to get you that. Why? Yeah. I thought we're in the gift-giving now. I'll get Francis Sampin. Bring you back to you. You really pissed him off with this. I think the wrong experiment might be coming to it. They gave it a try. It's just this isn't working for me. Don't say that, bro. I literally can't even breathe right now. I'm going to bring you back to fucking coolest spy cast from Herod's. I'm going to buy you some fucking it. You better be. It's got invisible ink and like a fucking invisibility. I'm imagining that like the glasses from spy kids that like they go out super long. I'm going to bring you the marauders map from Harry Potter. Yeah, I'm going to need some invisibility cloak. Really anything you can get your hands on. I will, bro. Don't worry about it, but I'm going to need that Maxi jersey. Do you feel bad that you're flying all the way to London to watch the Eagles lose again? It's from my sister's birthday. It's not about the outcome of the game. It's who you spend it with. Who you spend the time. I guess. Yeah. Don't you think? I mean, if you're a casual, what do you mean? I'm going out there to fucking celebrate. Celebrate a love one. Yeah. I'd love to hear you watching your team lose. I'd love to hear you try and throw a smud on that. I'm going to Churchill's war room. Oh, wait. I've been to the Churchill's bunkers. Is that is that where it is? I don't know. I'm going to have to report back in London. I've been to that. How was it? Awesome. Really? It was really cool. Yeah. I heard it's one of the coolest experiences you can have. I don't know if that is what his war room is, but I mean, I don't know. Now report back. That was really cool. I think I need a war room. What do you mean? Just get one in for the house. By the way, the other cool thing from Herod's is like just tens of like shortbread. They make these really cool souvenir tins that have, you know, Herod's on them, so that'd be nice. I've been trying to prepare, and I'm like, listen to podcasts about it. And every podcast, someone's like, and she made me the best cup of tea I've ever had. And it's like, bro, like, how was one cup of tea that much better than another cup of tea? Yeah. I think tea is a pretty uniform. I agree. But you should go to a high tea. I am what we have a high tea plan. Good. Where? Where? What's the high park hotel or something like that? Is the one that's check and seek exactly where this high tea is. I didn't we didn't over plan, but we have a high tea at Ham Yard. Ham Yard. Nice. Ham Yard. Pretty dream of it, brother. Sounds beautiful. The dream of Ham Yard. High Park is stunning. It's a great park to walk around. Are you going to get the chance to get out to Birmingham or now? I've been to Brom. Yeah, you got to get out. I've already done Brom before. You should drive by the street that we crashed the car on. I don't think I'm going to be doing much driving out there, especially at the Brom. Isn't Brom like three hours from London? Hour and a half. No, with the traffic. No, there's no traffic. No one's going. Eagles traffic. That's true. People fleeing the city. Because the Eagles fans are taking over. That would be funny to see an Eagles fans take like Philadelphia's are not prepared for the poshness of London. No, no. That's the most come baggage city and the most posh. Yeah. Yeah. Was that your experience that it is or is that overstated? The poshness or is it more like do's like central sea? I thought it was it every time I've been to England, I've just been like it just feels like I'm in America. Yeah. But like the cars are on the other side of the street. I like London a lot. I love it. I haven't been in a long time. Probably like 15 years or so. Yeah, you should go. Okay, I'll I'll get right back on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You should go and you guys can watch the Eagles lose together. I'm flying a virgin. Oh, sick. That's supposed to be sick. I heard that it's the worst flying experience because it's something called the coffin seats where your legs go out like into the aisle. Oh, really? Yeah. That's crazy. Oh, no. It's bad. I've heard that it's bad. I've heard virgins terrible. The seven nine seven dash. No, I'm not sure what type of plane it is, but it's a seven ninety seven. Seven eighty seven dash nine. There's planes always look like their nightclubs. They got the cool lighting. It's the lighting. Yeah. That looks great. I wouldn't have thought that was bad, dude. That's got a full bed. Look at the cheats on the bed. Look at the look at the virgin air coffin seats. He's grown. That one. Yeah, those ones. It's just like someone's kind of looking over your shoulder. Oh, yeah. You're like offset a little bit. It's like a half. I mean, the flight to London is honestly pretty short. I had doors on on my Japan air. Also on my Delta flight. Dude, I'll say that the Delta flight home was pretty damn good. Was it better than the jet Japan air? It wasn't far off. Yeah. I mean, Delta one is great. When you get the big Delta one flight, the big like 12, the same one I had going to New Zealand. Yeah. Those huge ones. The biggest plane they have that Delta one seat is as good as it gets. Yeah. It's great. I'm taking a non overnight flight. So I'm taking a day flight. I'm taking a flight at 8 in the morning and I land at 8 at night. That's awesome. You think it is? Awesome. I think that's great. Yeah. That's so nice. You'll get I mean, just don't sleep on the flight, but it'll be fun to sleep on that flight. But I'll wait to get there. They'll have a cheeky pint. Yeah, I get a couple of pines. Crats fishy. Yeah. Yeah. Have have some nandos. Yeah, that's actually that sounds pretty ideal to be honest. I think we got there at like one p.m. That sucks. Yeah. And you flew overnight. Yeah. You flew it like what midnight and got there at like one p.m. Something like that. Something weird. We got we were there in the middle of the day and then we had to like then you got to do shit. No. You're not trying to be driving around and doing shit. I'm not touching a fucking car. Yeah. Just going to be going to gardens. Just going from one garden to another. Yeah. Got it. I'm all it's going to be sick. How was Boston? What'd you do up there? Good. I was well, I wasn't in Boston. I was back in mass. South of Boston, of course. And it was good. I got to meet my cousin's baby, which was nice. Good dude. Girl. I held the baby. It fell through my arms. Not actually, but like I haven't held the baby. Honestly. This is your sister's baby? My cousins. Okay. My first cousin once removed. You dropped the baby? No. When did your cousin have a child? Like a couple months ago. I didn't even know she was married. Yep. Well, you don't really know anything about my cousin because you don't you don't share. You've been keeping this information. I don't know anything about your cousins. I thought your sister got married. She did. When did that happen last year? And she's had a kid? No. You don't want to talk about it. There's nothing to talk about. She hasn't had a kid. But my cousin had a kid. And I got to tell me when you're an uncle. So we can bond over that. Yeah. Obviously, I would tell you as if my sister had a kid. You don't tell us anything about your family. There's been nothing to tell. What was I going to just, hey guys, you guys married and you never told us we kind of months later. That's not true. Cause you were like, you know, I went back to that's not your baby. Oh, their husband. But what now they put the baby like I had my arms like this and they put the baby like here and like the baby's head was here and it just went right through my arm. Oh, no. Just funnel it right onto my lap. Didn't even get the punch out like immediately. I'm just standing on the peanut punch. The baby's head is below my arm where the body is. And I'm like, well, that definitely isn't supposed to happen. You know that a baby doesn't like rest on you. Like you're a shelf. Like you have to actually hold it. Yeah. Yeah. I learned that he thought I was just going to teeter on you. Like and then my mom like fixed the baby's head. And then she started crying immediately. The baby. The baby did. Oh, and then I was removed from holding the baby. That was it. That was it. I held it for probably five seconds. Good. Good. I'm happy. Good hold though. It was a solid hold. Girls have like a weird obsession with seeing a guy hold a baby. They're like, you want to hold it? I mean, they're just obsessed with it. They love babies. But like, they, I'm pretty sure my mom and my grandma and like her sister's like, I'm pretty sure they just go over every day and just pass around the baby for like six hours of dream baby rotation. Yeah. Yeah. They literally just stand there just passing the baby around. That is nice. I enjoy holding the baby. But my grandma obsessed with the baby. Like my grandma, like they'd be like, oh, the baby's smiling. And she's like getting up from across the room, like jogging over to see the baby smile. They love that. They love it. It is, it is like uniquely, um, energizing experience. Oh, definitely. It's better than it's as good as Phoenix. It's a little bit worse than Phoenix. You ever see a, like a new mother's camera roll? Oh, yeah. It's all baby. Four million photos of baby doing everything. Yeah. You take a photo of all of it. Just flopping around. Yeah. They are floppy. Oh, very. I didn't expect them to be that floppy because sometimes you'll be holding them and then their head will just be like, that's literally, that's literally what happened. Yeah. Fuck. I didn't really. I just give you whiplash. Yeah. It's a little scary. It's like when you fall asleep on like an airplane or something. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's, it's, it's, it's definitely a scary holding someone else's baby. You have to keep their head. You have to, keep their head erect. Oh, yeah. Was there any part of you after holding the baby that thought I want one of these? So I want to have a baby someday? Um, I mean, I have no idea, but yeah, maybe. I'm about to have a niece any day now. Really? Yeah. That's great. I have a niece. Yeah. I'm pretty excited about it. That's fantastic. My wife's sister's baby. So she already has a son. First news once removed. This would be my first news once. Let's remove that at least one time. This is a clear, this is a pure niece. But I don't understand cousins and removals because like your uncles, people will be like, you're like, uncles, kids, and remove, a removed means through, through marriage. How does it? Yeah. So like, my fuck, here we go. I'm in, I'm in, it's enemy waters. Really confusing. We look at my understanding before, can I guess Tyler before you confirm this? I think that once removed, right? So your, my cousin is the first cousin once removed. Yeah. Your wife's brother or sister, uh, if they have a cousin that like your, if your wife's sister's husband has a cousin, that would be a cousin of yours once removed. Because it's through a marriage. And actually, I, I need the visual, uh, I need the image of it. I'm completely wrong. I love it. This is, it says generations. Right? That's what it said. Removal is the generation. Yeah. Okay. I thought I was marriage. Because so your second cousin is like your fucking, I can't, I don't think that's helping. Can we get it written in English? Go back. What did it say there? That was completely met made total sense. There is a, uh, once removed means there is a one generation difference between two family members who are in different generations. See my eyes as visual. Oh, great. Great. Great. Yeah. Wait, so that makes sense. But we great, uncle or great aunt. Wait, so what if, what if my first cousin once removed has a child, then what would that cousin be? Dude, would that be my second cousin once removed? That's only if it's your great uncle or whether you first cousin twice removed. Cause you, or you can also have second cousin twice removed. Interesting. All I know is that if it's removed twice, you can have sex with it. It is. It is. You were right. And the child will not be a problem. If it's removed twice, it's not incest. Yeah. That's the rose. That's not a way with it. Yeah. Twice removed. You're clear. That's good to know. The chance of, uh, that's because in Iceland, like everyone is second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, yesterday, I did my all-time best good deed. Really? I think ever for, for visibility, credit, um, and also for goodness of act. Love that. Well, what would it, what would you do? It's satisfied all the category. It was, it was, it was just very rare. It was, it was full credit to me and full credit to society. Love that. Um, I was at LaGuardia. I landed. Was that the baggage claim? Because I had checked a bag, um, filled with, you know, wire shit from whatever. Anyway, um, I got, there was, there was this very old couple waiting for their bags. Very old. Yeah. frail. frail. And the husband, the wife was getting the bags off the belt. Um, um, and her bags were coming out and she had two of them and she went to grab the first one. And I was like, Oh, I, I'll help you. And she's like, I got it. I got it. Thank you, though. She grabbed them. But it was like, you know, hard for her. I was like, I could have done that. Yeah. And I was like, uh, I was like, good, good. I said something like, you know, good work. That looked, those were, those were, she grabbed them both at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. They all came out at the same time and I was like, good work. She was like, thank you. And then her husband where I was like, why didn't he fucking help her? His shoe was untied. Oh, and I went, I went, oh, heads up on your, uh, heads up on your shoe there. And he looked at me. He was like, ah, and she looked at me and she goes, as, you know, like, he's retarded. Yeah. At this point, tell me you didn't tie his shoe. He's just retarded. And so I tied his shoe. I went, I got it. And because her, she was like dealing with the bags and I got down on my knee and tied his shoe. That's insane. Double knot. Yeah. Loop swoop pull. I tied his shoe for him. That's genuinely amazing. Imagine if you caught Frances doing that. Genu-flecting at the altar of age. What time were you, Eligua? And by the way, the fact that all the people waiting for their bags did not, like simultaneously break out into a pause, just goes to show how far our values have eroded. They probably thought it was like, you were like his grandson or something. Come on, man, either way. It was a lot of people see you. Were you centrally located people? We were right at the spout. Yeah, we were right at the spout. Oh, nice. And I'll tell you what, dude, um, whatever happened to like, you know, know, worshiping our heroes. The greatest generation. We used to build shrines. Yeah. We've been pretty shrineless. It's just no one. They're tearing them down. We are the shrines. When was the last time we built a shrine? Who are we building? Kobe's got a shrine. That's fair. Nick Folls. Nick Folls got one after the Philly special. Kobe's got a shrine at the at the stable center. Right. He's got one. But on the Brady got a shrine. It's just definitely. It's only sports heroes. Yeah. Everybody else has had their shrines taken down because they were slavers. Yeah. Right. You know, guy, you write one blog about a dead girl and all of a sudden you don't make your shrines because the south doesn't like it. Yeah. You probably wouldn't have known that you lost your shrine then. No. No. That's the that is nice to to die thinking your shrine is still. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You either live long enough to see yourself become. Yeah. You see a shrine get torn down. A hero can be anyone even a young guy tying the shoe of a guy who's not a grandfather. More Christopher Columbus. I had a flight yesterday for the ball. Perry, can I just before you say that? Of course. That quote of a hero can be anybody, even even someone putting a coat around the shoulders of a boy to let him know the world hasn't. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You never saw Batman begins. No, no. So do you even know what that quote means? I mean, I thought I did. Dude, this hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of like the night. Yeah. There are so many moments in both, but there's a lot of light in the dark night rises that refer to the first movie which you never saw and you love the others. Yeah. I mean, I guess I must have just assumed I must have just assumed that I understood the references and I don't because I have no idea. Gordon comforts Bruce Wayne after his parents are killed. But don't they show that in the in the dark night? Briefly, you wouldn't. No, I think I do. I think I did remember. I don't know hairball because I do feel like they provide a lot of context so you don't have to watch the shitty first one. It's not shitty. All right. Sorry. You were saying you were. I was just just going to add a flight from Boston yesterday. So I might have what time did you get to the airport to La Guardia 630. Yeah. Never mind. Not even close. I was there like one. I missed my flight yesterday. You did? Yeah. I had a how. Yeah. Well, so I woke up. I sat my alarm for 820 and then I woke up. No, I sat my alarm for 8 and then I woke up and I was like, I don't got to be up for like 20 minutes. So I said it again for 820. Never went off. And then my mom woke me up at 915. So it's your alarm's fault. Your alarm didn't go. No, it was my fault. And it was my Uber drivers fault. You didn't set the alarm. I did. No, you didn't. I did. I showed it to my mom. I said, look, it's set. You did. There's no way that you set your alarm and the iPhone malfunctioned. No, that happens quite a bit. And it didn't go off. That happens quite often. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The most basic piece of technology they have just doesn't work. Yeah. Everything else works. Like they actually satellite within milliseconds, but they couldn't get your alarm right. You don't know shit. You don't know shit about tech. It's somebody else's fault. You don't know shit about. You don't know shit about my alarm didn't go off. Nothing. Did you tell that to the gate agents? I'm sure they would have held the plane for you. Well, no, where I was going with the story was I so I set the alarm doesn't go off. Whatever. Then I get an Uber. Is this ever happened? You guys where you get an Uber? And in the Uber, I mean, obviously I'm in the suburbs of Massachusetts, so I'm not expecting it to be like a one minute Uber, but I'm getting one that's 20 minutes away. And I know there's Ubers that are for closer. So I cancel. And then I got a new one. Same person accepts it. And then I'm going, I canceled like five times. And the same person kept on taking the drive. I'd said to wait. So you had to get that person. So I had to get that person. And then I missed that. That's the time when I bump up. I'll go to. I'm already there. Black. I don't think I even have that. That is an option. Really? Yeah. Deluxe bird. Yeah. I mean, there's not everything's black out there. It's all black. It's all black. It's actually almost all white, but, but beat to it. I didn't even hear it. I didn't even hear it because I was shy. I was actively saying it. But anyways, so I'm in the Uber. And this is my least favorite feeling when I'm like, I know I'm going to miss the flight. So I'm looking at other flights and I'm like, those flights are filling up. And then I get on and I'm like, finally get to a point where I'm like, okay, there's literally no chance I'm going to make this flight. It was an 11 a.m. flight. I got to the airport at 1050. Oh my. So I'm like, yeah. Right. So, right. Right. Right. So I changed my flight. I changed it in the car to the 12 p.m. They got one every hour. So my God. It's not I'm pretty much on time for the 12 p.m. Like this isn't that bad. And then I get through security. They're still boarding the 11. They were only on zone three. Did you go back to the 11? I couldn't. It was sold out. But did you show you got rid of your ticket? I got rid of my ticket. I had no choice. I had to change my flight. Just saying day change. Yeah. But you were on the 12. I was on the 12. So it wasn't that big of a deal. But I could have made the 11. Isn't that for imagine if that was like a flight like like my London flight was like there's eight o'clock and then there's not one until yeah. Like I changed and then you get like seeing them boarding. I was like, you got to be fucking kidding me. Yeah. No email. Nothing. That would have made me sick to my stomach. That was fine though. Like I said, I was literally I was just on time. I waited for like 15 minutes for the noon flight. Yeah. That's very nice. That does have me spooked about missing this flight to London though. That was my first miss in a minute. It felt good. Love getting one. I haven't missed a flight. I don't know when the last time was. The last time I missed one before that was when we were all going in Chicago. And I missed it. But while they were still boarding again with a lady like wouldn't let me board. All of us did when we were all going. Yeah. For something because you're alarm didn't go off because you're alarm we've broken. Well, my phone is actually fucking destroyed. My phone has been acting up to that my the planned option lessons is kicking in. Yeah. It's because they just put out a new iPhone that has the longest battery life that they've ever had. So they want everyone to buy it. Yeah. My battery life is a disaster. My battery life is plummeting. And every time I like try to look up one of my contacts, it just isn't there. Oh, no. Bro, what is that about this as searching on settings? Just there's never any results. You have to own comes up. It only works if I put it in someone's last. Yeah. If I put in the first name, it doesn't work. But if I go through my recent text messages, it's like I never texted anyone before couldn't agree more. But I have to go if I go go through contacts. Yeah. The software is completely fucked. What the fuck is going on? This buggy is all hell. What can you do? It was I actually had a great weekend though because I like just like hung out with my family all day and then they'll go to bed at like 8 p.m. So then I would just play video games all night just at my parents house like in the living room. And like they got, I mean, there's a whole house of food and snacks. That is good. It was great. That's nice. It was a blast from the past. That's kind of like me in the pool house. Yeah. I felt like that. What kind of snacks are your parents back in Swiss rolls? What's that? All right. We're going to end it there. Let's wrap it up there. I don't know what those are. Swiss rolls. You guys don't know what Swiss rolls are. They're honey buns. They're like similar, but no, it's more on the. Oh, oh, they're like a hostess. Yeah. Wow. Took down a Swiss roll. Late. Nice. Is that a single count? Or are there two in a pack too? Come on now. My hotel every morning put out a big branch of fresh grapes every day. Oh, gosh. At your room or in my room, every room. Oh, wow, great. I ate the whole thing. It was a lot of grapes. Yeah. And they were huge grapes. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't realize how many sizes to grapes there were. You seen the long ones? They got long grapes now. Yeah. No. Like long. Like they're almost like a pencil. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at these things. These are penis grapes. Isn't that crazy? Good. Very foul. Moon drops. That's what people call. Oh, cool. Good. Or sweet sapphires if that's that's kind of the more. Yeah. I got some blueberries recently. Organic blueberries. And what they want to hear about your blueberries. They were huge. They hear me out. They were. It was blueberry talk. They were. They were planetary. They were so big, but they were organic. My wife throws them right in the trash. She's like, what? These aren't organic. They cannot be growing that big if they're organic. And then I check the blueberries this morning. They're like fucking microbeads. She just had little fucking rain drop blueberries. Yeah. Those are the wild ones, probably. Wow. Ty the tiniest blueberries you ever seen. That's what we're known for in Maine. Maine, the main wild blueberries. People think our big big sport. I'm sorry. Big or small. Tiny. Little deer drop. I like the big. It's like, look at that. Oh my god. Those are tennis balls. They're big. That's what she had some tennis balls, but they were organic. Holy shit. Those are literally like the pool balls. Yeah. You could like skip one of those on the lake. That's by that. I would love that. I'm actually eating a blueberry like an apple. Sounds like everyone wants to hear about the blueberries. Sounds like the blueberries are the most Tyler pulled up a great photo of the blueberries because you need a visual. You need to be, you need a picture book to understand what's going on in the story. He literally just saved the episode. Look at this. You get Harry one good present and he turns all his eye are away from me to you. Normally he and I are doing like this, but I got him a good press. I mean, I've never seen blueberries like that. Yeah, that's what we were working with. - There was a children's book I read growing up called Blueberries for Sal. - Oh yeah, I've read that. - You read that? - Yeah. - That was the one that really put me on to the, how Maine is like famous for our blueberries. - Sal used to read that all the time. - Yeah. - The impractical joke there? - Like a great book. - Yeah, a great tip. - Volcano. - Yeah, he wrote it, yeah. - There's a bunch of these. My grandparents used to have like all of them. - Sal, as the protagonist? - I think so, yeah. - Did you get any presents for the little baby that you own? - Did you just eat other like fruits and stuff? - Maybe sells a guy. - Did you buy any presents for the baby? - No. - You're a bad uncle. - Well, I'm not an uncle. - Once removed. - You should've got something for them. - Maybe there aren't a bunch of them. - Maybe we just had multiple copies of it. - I'm not seeing too many other fruits for Sal. He'd think it'd be apples for Sal based on what you said. Miss Rumpfiest was the other one I loved. The loop and lighty. - See, I don't know any of these bitches howled in the purple crayon. - It's classic. - I think you come to learn that children's books are a bit regional, maybe? - What did you guys have good night mood? - Yeah. - Yeah, of course. - See, those are the bangers though. - Yeah. - Hungry caterpillar. - We never really even read those ones. They were little two mainstream. - Your own. - Blueberries for Sal. - You're an indie book children. - Yeah, yeah. - Hailed in the purple crayon. Blueberries for Sal. - Yeah. - What lessons were you learning? - Sal and Hobbs. Oh, that's what I was thinking of. - Calvin and Hobbs. - Salvin and Salvin Hobbs. (laughing) - Salvin and Hobbs was great. That shit was genuinely funny. - So good. Calvin and Hobbs was so good. - They really was. - Banging. - They were buddies too, fuck. - Maybe that's what my kids should be for Halloween. - The one thing about Calvin and Hobbs that was odd was that everyone's in a while, what was the guy Bill Waterson? Yeah, he'd throw like a, a strip in, that was just like pure philosophy. - Oh yeah. - It'd usually be one where they would be racing down the hill on the wagon. And it was like way over my head as a seven-year-old, or like a nine-year-old. I couldn't understand what the fuck was going on. I guess that's the point though, is that he made it for all ages. - Know what I pray for? What? The strength has changed what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference. - Oh, that's great. That's the flip on the famous. - You should lead an interesting life. Oh, I already do. Fuck, that's nice. - Yeah, there's a lot of existentialism, which I just remember reading it and being like, "Well, I have no idea what's going on." And then it'd be like, "All right, now there's monsters on the bed again." (laughing) Phew. - They're racing again. - Yeah, perfect. - He's being tackled out the door. Thank God. - It is really good. - It's really good. - The parents were very funny. - Massive books. - The dad was hysterical. - I used to have like the big books. - The anthology ones, yeah. Those were awesome collections. - Did you watch Ka-yu growing up? - Oh yeah. - Ka-yu is the windiest little bitch I've ever heard in my life. - We didn't really watch it long. - Mom, why can't I play with the toilet, bro? - We didn't watch it for a while. - It's like teaching the worst tone and perspective. (laughs) - For children everywhere. - The blueies, the thing now, for everybody. - Yeah, yeah. - My nieces and nephew are. - Yeah. - Paw Patrol as well. They've moved off Paw Patrol in favor of Bluey. - Really? - Yeah. - You got to see if they're on to. - No, they're a cab. - They're a cab, yeah. It's either you're Paw Patrol or you're Miss Rachel. - Yeah. - You can go either side of the political spectrum. Have you guys, have you had any kids in your life put you onto Danny Go? - No. - This guy's a fucking wild man. This guy goes so fucking hard in the paint. - Oh, it looks like it. - Sensory overstimulation. - Love it. - Like, he'll have your kids drooling. Just like, maybe having a seizure, honestly. Like, there's so much going on on a Danny Go. - Free. - Very soon, Danny's a freak. - Don't say that, bro. - Tell just from the photo. - He's for the kids. - Yeah. - Exactly. - Bro, watch your, pick your next word carefully. (laughing) - All right. - Yeah. - Let's wrap this up. - Yeah. We have multiple shows this week. - Yeah, I think we just went for like two hours. - Jesus Christ. - I mean, I talked 90% of it. (laughing) - All right, we will see you guys on Thursday. Thank you. Goodbye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)