Japan w/ Che Durena | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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Head to curehydration.com and use code TRIPPIN for 20% off your order. That's curehydration.com. Go TRIPPIN. For 20% off. Subscribe and save, so you'll never run out. And you can pause or cancel anytime. No, actually, the original reason we went to Japan was Super Nintendo World. Because we wanted to go to, like, the Japan Super Nintendo World. Can I just say that I love the rise of the black nerd? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Dude. What a wonderful joy that we've gotten now. Like, um. It was Kanye with a fucking. with a polo shirt on Chappelle. The pink polo, yeah. And then it went from there. I. It wasn't until I moved to Toronto. Toronto, that I really met, like. Because Vancouver doesn't have a lot of black people. Yeah. But when I moved to Toronto, I met, like, other black people who, like, fucked with the anime. And I was like. They're like, yeah, you gotta watch, like, Code Giygas. And I was like, what? What's that? And they started getting me onto, like, some real shit. Where you been and where you going? This is Ari's Travel Show, yeah. We're gonna talk about travel today. It's UB Trippin, yeah. Guys, welcome to UB Trippin. Sorry, it took me a while to set up. I'm not professional. My name's Ari Shafir. I like to travel. I like to hear about other people's, you know, their trips. If you listen to this, you already know. Today. Oh, wait, I'd like to say something about the podcast. It's the only podcast that does not believe in birds. The wires charge them. Today, my guest is Che Durena. Yeah, how we doing, guys? Yeah. It's no way this is the first Canadian I've had on. Zero chance. You have a. Oh, Russell Peters has been on. Oh, yeah. There you go. He's the Canadian. Yeah, he is like the Canadian comic for sure. He's like the biggest guy. I saw him at a UFC once. It was like a bunch of us. It was cool there. I don't know where it was. Vegas or something. Maybe Vancouver. I don't know. Yeah. And I was like, hey, I'm doing a show, a Montreal storytelling show. Like, it was actually pretty important. I didn't realize until later. I was like, do you want to do it? Do you want to do a story? He goes, sure. I'm like, all right. It's like, it was up at Cleopatra. Yeah. You go to Montreal ever? Yeah, I've been there a few times. So then when the summer hits, everyone's just, oh, they party. Those chicks love bicycling in miniskirts. Montreal, if we're going to put up, like, hottest chicks, like, if we. It's Montreal is the ones we send. The hottest chicks are the Montreal chicks. Yeah. Because they've all been, like, slightly repressed by the church. And then they had their sort of, like, breakout. And it was kind of in, like, the punk era. So you get these sort of, like, crusty white chicks that have, like, tattoos and weird colored hair. And because of the French part, they're, like, hypersexual, too. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody just told me, like, French are whores. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was Ryan. Anyway, he was like, yeah, I'll do your show. I'm like, okay, hopefully it'll do well. I think that people will show up. And he was just like, yeah. I didn't realize he was Canadian Jesus. He was like, if I'm there, what, 80 seats? We'll be fine. Yeah, we're going to be good. Yeah. I'm playing with a hockey team players. Yeah. Back then. Yeah, dude. All right. So where'd you go? Where are we going? We're going to Japan, dude. Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice. Yeah, I went to Japan. I was there for two weeks or so. It was recent, right? Yeah, this was in June. Okay. So, yeah, it's not that long ago. It was fucking unbelievable, man. So it was me and my buddy, Matt. I've wanted to go to Japan for a while. The year before, I went to Greece for a buddy's wedding. And I kind of was like, I should just start traveling more. This was, like, what started it? The Greece thing? Yeah. Have you not been traveling? So I lived in Mexico for a while. From, like, 19 to 22, I lived in Mexico. Wow. I was a scuba diving instructor. And I just, like, flew out there. I got my scuba diving instructor certificate through university. Because my parents were like, you have to go straight to university. When did you start diving? In the university course. And you went straight to instructor? So the whole course was it takes you from, like, you've never dove before to being an instructor in, like, eight months. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many dives in that? How many dives in that time? At least 100. You had to do at least. You need 100 dives to get to the instructor level. Yeah, you have to have seen some stuff. Oh, yeah. I saw some wild shit. I mean, where I was diving was all cold water diving in Vancouver. So that's all, like, dry suit stuff. It's still beautiful. Like, you'll see. Unenjoyable. I mean, you have to go. Honestly, if you're diving in September, it's amazing. Because September is when it's still kind of hot outside. But in the summertime, you get plankton blooms, which reduce the visibility, like, crazy low. So you get no plankton plus nice weather anytime. The other time of the year, it's kind of ass diving out there. But you could see, like, giant Pacific octopus. I saw a lion's mane jellyfish that literally was so big, I couldn't put my arms around it. It had tentacles for, like, 30 feet. And then moving to Mexico, then I was doing, like, Caribbean diving because I was in the Yucatan. Though I was in Playa del Carmen. Yeah. I've been down there. Not Playa del Carmen, but, yeah, in the Yucatan. And that was amazing. Did you dive the cenotes? Yeah, I did. I never got, like, fully cave certified. But I did, like, the cavern cenotes. Yeah. And that was so cool. Like, that crystal clear water. Like, it's just unbelievable. You can see the areas where, like, the fresh water and saltwater meet. And you get that, like, blurring effect and everything like that. Yeah. It's really, really cool. And then the. So Mexico, did that give you any. Sorry, what were you going to say? The reef off of Cozumel. That's the second largest reef in the world. And so we go there, and you do incredible diving. You can see, like, sharks, frogfish, sea lions. Or not sea lions, fucking. What are the little guys? The. Horsefish? What's the little fucker with the. Seahorse. Seahorse. That's what I'm fucking trying to say. You know, I was looking for one of those for seven years. Yeah. The closest I got was in Indonesia, and we were snorkeling. It was crazy. Like, it never dropped. So it just stayed a reef for so. So you could go, like, a hundred yards out there. And these little, like, not patterns, but, like, not caves, but, like, runways. Yeah. So it went a little dark. So you could chase, like, a tortoise. He couldn't get away from you. Yeah, and you just fall on it. So you could just chase it down these, like, paths. And someone's like, I saw a seahorse. I'm like, fuck. I went over there. It was gone. Yeah, they're hard to find. Couldn't find one. Here's where I found one. Finally, in 2021, in the Galapagos. Oh, damn. On this island. This is fucking wild. That must have been fucking incredible. The Galapagos? It's like a paradise. This is the island. Dude. Where I saw a seahorse. It's fucking cool as hell. What else did you see out there? It looks. It's shaped like a seahorse. It is. That's crazy, dude. It's nuts. Yeah. Did you see those marine iguanas and stuff there, too? Yeah, you swam with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those guys rule. Yeah. Yeah, dude. The Galapagos is, like, there's the hammerheads and shit out there, too. Like, yeah. We saw those. We dove with those. Have you ever been to Costa Rica? Yeah, but not diving. Costa Rica is, if you ever go diving, it's the largest. There's, like, sharks. It's come from all different areas of the world, and it's the largest population of sharks in the world. So you can see that crazy different species of sharks over there. Wow. They come there to mate and do all sorts of wild shit. And it's safe to dive with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did when I, so I've never been to Costa Rica, but in Mexico, every winter, we'd have bull shark dives. So the bull shark season would come, and you'd have to go deep, and you would go, like, all the way down is just sand. And you would kneel in the sand, and then you'd bring, like, a weight or, like, a water bottle. The weight, you would, like, bang it on your tank or the water bottle, or you'd crinkle it, and that would attract the sharks. Oh. And the sharks would come and then start swimming around you. And we would get, like, maybe three, four sharks that would come check us out. One time I went down, because we would never feed, but there was other dive shops that would feed. And so one time we would feed the sharks. You go down with, like, this big tube that, it's, like, sealed. So when you put your hand in and pull a piece of meat out, nothing else comes out. It's not leaking and attracting when there's nothing, when you don't want the sharks to be there. So we saw another dive center that was going to feed. They had the tube. And so we swam up next to them. It literally was, like, no sharks, then, like, 10 sharks, then, like, 20, then, like, 30 sharks just all swimming around us. And then as soon as the feeding was done, it was the same thing in reverse, where they just dissipated super quick. And it was chill as hell. Like, I've never, when they look at you, they're very calm. They're not, you don't feel intimidated. Have you ever seen videos of, like, people doing sharks wrong? No, no. Or when, like, they rub their nose and shit like that? It was just, like, a shark attacks on divers. Oh, okay. And then all the comments. It's like, that's crazy. He showed aggressive behavior. They should have been out of there already. Why are some people leaving the pack? You should all pack up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we never, I don't know, we never got trained on how to act around the sharks. Really? We just kind of went and did it. Yeah, it was pretty loosey-goosey, man. And as far as I know, no one ever really got hurt. But that was the start. That was, like, I go, my parents traveled with me a bit. They took me to the States. They took me to Cuba when I was a kid. And then when I got older. I went to Mexico and was living there. Then I moved to Toronto and then I hadn't traveled in a long time oh from the west coast yeah yeah and then i hadn't traveled in a long time my buddy was getting married in uh greece and so i went to greece i took my sister uh because she has always wanted to go to greece but never went so i was like let's go together we'll go to this wedding spend a week in greece yeah we hooked up nice yeah yeah of course we can it's legal over there yeah it's we had to go all the way to greece she was hairy enough so it was fine yeah so it's fine no one asked any questions dude um but then she went back after greece and i went to berlin for a week we also had a 24-hour layover in amsterdam but then i saw i stayed in berlin partied in berlin what a town huh oh it's brilliant fucking rules dude although all those like underground nightclubs and everything like that uh we did some shows over there they have a really good comedy scene in berlin yeah they're they're they're pretty chill yeah they're pretty cool and then after that i was like i gotta i gotta start traveling more you got like the bug yeah and then japan was always on my list japan's been number one for a long time and so i hit up my buddy matt and i was like yo dude do you want to go to japan and he was like yeah let's go for a week i was like no let's go for two weeks got it we got it two weeks yeah we can't do one week like it's fucking the it's of whatever 16 hour flight to get out there what do canadians rank in terms of like the countries that of canada uk australia and america yeah the big the big englishes yeah what do they rank in terms of like vacation or travelers australia is number one they take like a month and a half long like they're always holiday oh oh like how long we get i think we're above you but below everyone else gotta be above us yeah i but we're not i don't we're not as good as uk we're not as good as uh like we maybe get like four or five more days than you guys get okay yeah but also it's like there's a vibe of going places in canada it's like everyone's like oh i've been to cuba yeah they all all kind of go down there when we couldn't they were like no it's a cool place to go let's go and you have to americans like don't go well because you got so much going on in america yeah and it doesn't take too far to get to places like to fly from here to florida and florida is a wonderful place to go it's not that crazy of a flight right so you're talking about the tropics yeah you're without a passport exactly yeah you go across canada it's cold everywhere you fucking go and you have to go up against unhappiness it's it's fucked if you go up yeah and it's and it uh you have to fly hours and hours like it's a fucking six hour flight to get to toronto from vancouver right so it's like might as well go some other fucking place yeah go west exactly let me break in today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest che durena guys he's a great comic he's got a new special out on youtube right now called hot chocolate it's on his youtube account at che durena uh he's also on instagram at che durena you guys check him out he's legitimately funny i don't like him because his hair it's far better than mine reminds me of what mine used to look like ari shafir hairless che durena full of hair so i've got two podcasts out you want to check out um dark holes with che durena and two goons he's also gonna be in phoenix on february 19th che durena but check out hot chocolate um and follow him on instagram he's actually got far more followers than i do and he's like 21 i fucked my life up anyway i'm in brazil so there's that please follow me on instagram at you be chipping pod and click subscribe wherever you're watching or listening to this podcast and get yourself a t-shirt one of these go for a hike shirts probably seven or eight of them will be there and i'll see you in the next one bye left and we'll never print them again where i'm on a hike find me at one of my shows in 2027 and tell me where you took it on a hike i'm ari shafir that's it che durena hot chocolate guaranteed he's funny you'll like it on youtube at che durena let's get back to japan so you went to japan yeah so we were like let's go to japan we got all the shit figured out the kind of the inception for the trip was they opened a super nintendo world at the universal studios in um osaka okay and so we were like okay we got to get tickets for that that's like a must do thing we got to do on our trip i definitely have pictures of that oh really yeah yeah this is us at super nintendo world um we yeah so this is like the wait so this is hold on so i remember universal it's all the universal stuff terry potter's world and everything like that and so they've added a super nintendo world to the universal oh it's a little section yes so like they had jurassic world in one of these also because like yes it's just a jurassic park world exactly so this is us at like the harry potter world then they're this is it's all just game shit yeah come to life so you like put this one you would put the fucking headset on yeah and then you would ride in a mario kart and it was on a track and then you would look around and shoot fucking shells out and try to get like a high score on it that fucking game rule dude and then this is us like in there this bowser's castle the super nintendo world entrance one of the craziest parts oh yeah the jaws thing so my buddy matt he's terrified of sharks yeah and that's because when he was a kid he went to the universal studios in america and went on the jaws ride and then the guy goes oh look off the edge of the boat he's like maybe six looks over the side a big mechanical shark jumps out of the water terrifies him so we took this picture and then sent it to his dad because his dad was like laughing and made him take this picture as a kid with him crying but we yeah we just fucking had such a good time oh this donut dude okay first all right the okay the soup when you're at super nintendo world you walk in you're like walking through the tunnel and then when you walk out on the other side it plays the music from peach's castle in uh super mario 64 and like i had like goosebumps on my neck like i'm a big nerd with all that shit and so there every area had music from different games there's animatronics and shit moving all around i probably have osaka that was in osaka yeah and this donut was in osaka too this was at the portland b bakery dude we went there and this we we ate this donut we went to a place to go buy shorts because we were crashing in osaka but our uh hotel was in kyoto and we spent no time in kyoto uh and then we went back and got another one of these don't fly straight to osaka no we flew straight to um what's it called tokyo so we flew to tokyo and our first like four days were in tokyo so we flew to tokyo and our first like four days were in tokyo so we flew to tokyo and our first like four days were in tokyo and that must be the wildest city oh yeah it seems like one of those cities were like just a different than anywhere else oh dude you get off and it's like first it's like super clean and then the area we were in we were like okay this is like uh super clean super clean like everywhere you go like garbage is stacked perfectly on itself and like everything is like in its little section and you go to the the corner store have you ever been to japan no oh dude yeah i really want to but yeah so uh when you go like the corner store the food is crazy there they have bodegas yeah the bodega so they their 7-eleven is like stacked over there and they have like legit we ate there like because you're always on the run you're running around and we're gonna go booze and we're like fuck i haven't eaten today so let's go grab they have those um what the onigiri those like triangles that have like the seaweed it's yeah and the way you open it too so that's a little like rolling taquitos at 7-eleven exactly so so high end yeah yeah and where you even the way you would open it was like it wasn't wrapped fully because if the seaweed is against the rice the seaweed's gonna get fucking soggy right so there was a way you could like pull three tabs on the fucking uh on the plastic around it and then the whole thing would wrap into one onigiri it was they they just have everything fucking figured out wow and so we would snag those all the time oh what was our first day this is i'm kind of like all over with because i'm trying to follow it with the pictures too so when we were in osaka you went to wrestling we went to wrestling wow packed huh oh dude packed i definitely have a is it just like it's just like wwe oh yeah just like it's not like a mexican version okay i don't want my dick pics to get in we won't show anything until don't worry about it until we reference something we won't show it yeah yeah uh i'm trying to let me open up the folder of what was it as you're opening i'll just ask you questions yeah did you feel safe out there oh dude i feel like you were unbelievable unbelievably safe like safe is an understatement like we felt over there like you kids ride the subway like you at night it's not loud there's no like loud car someone blasting music it is unbelievably safe dude the crime over there is so low like i don't even you i left my phone at an arcade we were at this like arcade thing in akihabara which is like the big tech district where there's like all these different there's like um uh like all these different things that are like you know like all these like different arcade buildings and like those claw games and all that kind of stuff i left my phone just on a table and then we were we're getting an uber and i was like oh fuck it off my phone went back it was right where i left it really yeah didn't move no one picked it up no one touched it people just leave shit like if you forget something somewhere people will leave it for you to come back and get it that's nuts oh yeah dude it's so i was getting out in salt lake city i was out of my uh uber to the club and then i was like look at my phone i couldn't find it and i was like where's my coat and then eventually it was like okay i can't and and ryan o'neill was like maybe by the uber i was like oh yeah and he kept calling it and i saw it in on the curb whatever yeah and as i went to pick it up just like it's so messy there yeah and this almost goes like fuck like he was like i wish i'd seen that dude yeah okay it's not playing the video but oh it's one of those fucking it's like that uh icloud thing where it's pushed it back up oh that's what this that's what the exclamation point is you gotta click on it or something okay let's see damn okay wait uh sell your so Cellular data is turned off? What the fuck, dude? Your cellular data is turned off? um sometimes the iphone just like what what is this setting i never did this dude yeah it's just fucking on my computer sometimes i'm like no you can't get that file i'm like i put it on the desktop like no you gotta download it okay whatever i'll just fucking we'll get out of here and i'll just go to the ones i took down um but yeah we went to wrestling in japan that was one of the fucking coolest days how much was it uh the wrestling i honestly don't remember exactly how much the tickets were did you pay attention to money while you were there or were you just like we're just going i just fucking ripped i spent like way too much money over there but i was like fuck it who cares dude was it an expensive town or place um okay dumps those pictures of dumps uh yeah there's definitely pictures of dumps in there i love a good picture of a dump yeah it's good um okay yeah there's some wrestling stuff wow but uh here we go so when we went to the wrestling in japan yeah do they have whites there or just yeah oh yeah they had a ton of whites so the a few days before we went to the wrestling in japan we went to the wrestling in japan we went to asaka we were in um this area called golden guy so golden guy is in shinjuku and it's an area of like little bars so like maybe 200 bars that all seat 12 people and they're all like somewhere on top of each other and it's just like it's like a four block radius of just bars bars bars bars so we go to golden guy we're going into all these different places we see one bar we go in there there's like a group of five people in there we start talking to them one of them is japan until she was like 17 then moved to the states lives in like portland now so she like has this america she knows america she knows japan uh she had a fucking vape pen on her and we're like yo you're gonna and she's like they don't know what this is and was like ripping it and stuff didn't give a fuck man so hitomi goes like hey you know like you guys are here for a few days let me show you around she takes us to asakura where there's like all these old temples she gives us like a whole tour of this area she shows us this big there's like this gigantic golden uh like it's supposed to be like a droplet it kind of looks like a sperm and they call it the turd uh and so she shows us all this stuff and asakura she takes us to a temple and then i had a comedy show while i was in japan so they have a comedy club called tokyo comedy bar yeah and i booked a show there and we're like hey come to the show come to the show i want to see the sperm turd oh yeah i think i took a picture down to the sperm turd somewhere it looks naturey oh here's more stuff of fucking here's super nintendo world so you can see some of the like how this area is oh that's where kieran is from kieran kieran beer who's kieran beer oh there's a beer called kieran beer yeah oh i don't know i'm not i'm not very well versed in booze okay you're a pothead yeah no i don't really smoke a lot of weed i'm just like with substances i'm like just give me what what do you got give me whatever the fuck you got oh right um let me see if i can find this turd dude oh here's where we ate rectum there's rectum wait wait wait wait yeah from what animal i don't know i don't know it just on the menu it just said rectum and so we got wrecked are you a go for it guy yeah yeah absolutely so we saw rectum there we're like yeah just fucking bring that up yeah we were i mean without the name yeah it tasted good honestly it was just salty is he wearing a king gizzard and lizard wizard shirt yeah he loves my buddy maddie loves king gizzard dude he's seen king gizzard like 12 times or something really yeah yeah he flew he we saw them in montreal or he saw them in toronto and then we went together to montreal and he saw them again the next day he seemed he they're jammed oh yeah yeah they're like uh what the fuck's it called grateful dad or something like that yeah but um uh well let me see do we have the turd there's more wrestling stuff dude it's all right if you don't there's the the rubber tits in the porn cafe or in the porn place but um yeah all right forget the turd tell us more about this chick don't worry about it so hitomi is like okay i'll come to your show i'm gonna bring a friend and she's like oh we're like bring your friend this dude comes he's a pro wrestler with new japan pro wrestling so um we go he comes to the show we meet him we're talking to him and he's on the wrestling event we're gonna go see in osaka so then we go to the event where we see this dude wrestle text him after and we're like hey like what's up and he's like yo come to this bar like all the wrestlers are chilling together so then we go to the bar to go hang out with all the wrestlers can i guess what's that blow no i know i wish i wish dude we talked to them about that and they were like oh yeah you can get it here but for one if you do get it it's like you're fucking done you're going to prison for life oh but also it's shit that's australia yeah yeah so it's like what's the point of even getting it's australia the most overpriced shittiest coke i don't know how and they're such fiends on the worst coke that costs the most yeah it's like dude it's a there's no reason to get in this much shit for coke this bad you know how like when they say when you go to like not mars some other country where like you're way lighter than anybody can dunk yeah just like get off the ground like that's how australians are when they go to any other place yeah the coke here's cheap and good yeah and they're like let's do blow like all right we just did it last 10 days exactly let's do more yeah they're trying to get it's like a kid in a candy store just filling their mouth constantly yeah but we just partied with all these wrestlers they had this there's this thing in japan where they almost have like a jester type figure where his job is to hang out and basically be bullied so there was like three different joe de rosa yeah there you go joe de rosa yeah yeah and you just kind of poke at this person yeah it's totally joe so they're like joe you would love it in japan they'll kill you you got a perfect spot for you so they uh the way that it worked was there was this one dude who uh basically facilitated this older lady who wanted to hang out with the wrestlers she paid for the whole night all your drinks all your booze all the cigarettes everything was paid for that dude who facilitated it also brought this old man who was the jester guy and the whole point of the jester guy was just to kind of like bully him so the the wrestlers would like slam on the table and chant old cunt and he would be forced to slam his beer and then when they were uh my buddy was in the bathroom the jester guy was pissing and they came in and started like shaking him as he was pissing and we're like do you guys either like yeah that's it that's the golden turd there it is yeah so that was golden third i think that was built during like the olympics or something is it it's supposed to be a flame i think it's yeah that's it supposed to be a goal uh the the olympic flame but they couldn't build it upright because it was just gonna like topple over so they built it on its side and everyone just calls it the golden turd yeah it's so funny when someone builds a statue with something in mind but everyone else sees it fresh and like i see something else yeah they're like that's poo is what it is yeah it's a big old poo statue at the shawarma uh in uh hudson yards what's that it's this big statue but everyone just says it looks like a shawarma oh yeah that does look like a shawarma yeah and it's like damn it no that's not what we meant at all it's the shawarma statue definitely what we're seeing um um so yeah then we partied with the wrestlers we like smoked cigarettes with them all night like i smoked my first cigarette ever in japan that was sick now you're now you're no no no i left it there yeah i smoked a bunch of cigarettes i was like chain smoking cigarettes in the clubs and shit because you because you can smoke indoors you can uh like not indoors a house but when you go to the clubs they would have like a smoking section hi guys today's episode of you be tripping is brought to you by superpower guys superpower sends a licensed professional to your home or or you can visit a nearby lab and they give you uh one simple blood test with over 100 biomarkers um telling you everything you need you ever leave doctor's office or even a trusted friend who knows the most about health that you know um and they go you need supplements what does that mean what supplements that's not enough bro that's not enough you need some stuff what is supplements specifically i just go to like the supermarket i need supplements go to gsa i need supplements what what and why it's frustrating um that's where superpower comes in tells you everything 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And so we would go to these nightclubs. That's fun. By the way. Great idea if you can do it. Smoke while you travel, leave it there. And leave it there, dude. Never. I haven't touched it since. Great. Good for you. But yeah, that fucking ruled. And then one night we met up with this dude. So there was this guy who basically does these like party tours and his whole thing, it's called Drunk in Japan. And we met up with the Drunk in Japan guy. Let me see if this is this here. I think so. Yeah, this is so we're at a nightclub here partying. Are these? Hold on. Who's there? Go back. Oh, that's fine. I can see. I can see people. A lot of Japanese. Oh, yeah. It's like a few whites. A couple whites. And I think on this floor, too. This was like the anime music floor. This was all like Japanese anime style music. And everyone was singing along with all the songs. And we're like, yo, this fucking rips, dude. There was like, oh, this was the muscle girl bar. So they have this. They don't have like strip clubs or anything over there. They have like these different sort of show bars where girls do like stripper stuff. Her fucking foot is right above their drink. Oh, yeah, dude. They love it. But these girls were all like jacked. But jacked for Japanese standards. Like none of these girls, like they could use a little bit of testosterone. So this was the drunken Japan guy. So he basically. Funnels on the street? Yes. Funnels? Yeah. So this was in Shinjuku before we went into the nightclubs. He basically. They didn't. Funnels? He didn't. They don't know what a beer bong is over there. So he's like introduced the concept of beer bong to the Japanese people. And he would go up to the Japanese in the street and be like, Yo, hit this beer bong. And they would fucking rip it. And like sometimes they would just fail at it miserably. Oh, yeah. Because you want to like be like. Yeah. You've got to like open up. Exactly. So it would keep coming. They would just spit it all over the ground. Also, this guy's getting the wrong angle. He's too close. Yeah. No, no, no. It wasn't the best. Whoever's filming this is a better angle. The guy filming in the shot is only getting you with a green thing. Exactly. You're not seeing the funnel and all the booze going down. That's the drunken Japan guy? Yeah. That's a tour. Get drunk in Japan. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he has a page called Drunken Japan where he basically just does all this like party content. Yeah. And when we were, we hung out with him one night and got so blasted. That night we ended up going to the nightclub and I got so fucking drunk because they would play this game where you do rock, paper, scissors. And then if whoever loses, the other person counts to three and you have to chug your drink until they count to three. And they can count as slow or as fast as they want. Really? And so we got so shit. We got so shit face there that when we got home at night, I just like pulled trigger and just puked up straight strawberry soju. Just fucking strawberry soju flowing out of my mouth, dude. And the next day we met up with this dude and then he took us to this like illegal car meetup. And I got like a bunch of videos of this car meetup. What do you mean? What's a car meetup? So like all these like. Tokyo Drift? Tokyo Drift souped up Japanese cars, dude. What? I mean, they're the supers of the supers. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This was like the dopest shit. Like, I don't know fuck all about cars, but I was taking videos and send them to my buddy who's a car guy. And he's like, you just showed me like like a million dollars worth of cars. And there was just car after car of these things. Like, look at the engine on this. I don't know what any of this shit is. Yeah. But it was souped up like crazy, bro. The drunken Japan guy took you here? Yeah, he took us here. And this was apparently the place to be. We ran into a dude in because we didn't go. We didn't climb Mount Fuji, but we went to. We went to like the town below Mount Fuji, which I think it's called Kawakuchiko. And we met a dude when we got off the train. He's like, oh, dude, I know you from fuck. You're the follow me fucking idiots guy. And then we met him at the car meetup. He's like, yo, what are you Indians? Follow me, you fucking idiots. What is that? That's what I say at the end of my videos. Yeah. Not that. It's pretty smart. Follow me, you Indians. Yeah. I was like, what is that? Well, we just saw all these like crazy souped up cars this day. We were like so fucking hungover. Oh, and this was the night, too, where we went to. So he took us to the car meetup and we did all the cool. How did you find this guy? So he came up when I was getting ready to go to Japan. My algorithm started to be like Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan. Nice. One of the good ones for once. Yeah. The algorithm. Absolutely. Yeah. And so he popped up a few times and I messaged him being like, hey, dude, do you live in Japan? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, man, I would love it if you have like any recommendations, blah, blah, blah. And he gave me like, oh. Full rundown. That's how we found that gigantic porn story. It was like seven stories tall and all the different porn stuff. He's like, you got to go to Akihabara, go to the pop life department and you'll see like, yeah, they had like silicone tits. You could buy like basically like a wooden plaque that you put like a screen of an anime chick over. And the wooden plaque had like two giant circles that you put silicone tits on. So you could change out the faces of the anime girls and just squeeze these silicone tits. What? There was a wild shit. That was the bin of silicone tits? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And those were like. This was like the try me. Damn, Japan's fucking weird. Japan's weird as hell, dude. They're so horny. They're so horny. Did you get laid there? No, we didn't get laid. My buddy did get laid. I got. So we. I landed. We landed in L.A. First, we flew to L.A., had 24 hours in L.A. And then flew to Japan after. I fucked in L.A. before we went to Japan. Just a random chick. We were at the. We're actually at the comedy store and we're about to wrap the night up. And then we're going to go to the back to smoke. We're going to smoke a joint and then leave. And then my buddy is going to smoke a cigarette. And they're like, oh, you can't smoke cigarettes in the back. It's only joints. So we stop at like that little parking area right before you go in, like where you would walk through to go to like the kitchen. Yeah. And these two girls walk up and they go, hey, you guys, do you guys work here? And we're like, no. And they're like, oh, yeah. Like, what is this place? And we just start. We're like, lock in. Lock in, dude. We lock in. I love travel game, too. Yeah. It's not game you'd normally have. We're like, I'm just here. I'm just here for a minute. Oh, and I did one of the best. I've never done a move like this before, dude. So we were sharing a room in at the hotel. Obviously, this place, Hotel Ziggy, which is down the street, down the street. So they were like, where are you going next? And we're like, we heard this like Hotel Ziggy is like a good place to go check out. What a fucking smart movie. You're not like, let's go back to my hotel. No, let's go to this bar. And then you're like, later, my room's here. My room's here. Wow. So we take him to the bar where we're hanging out. We're drinking. But then I'm like, me and my buddy are sharing a fucking room. We need two rooms. So I go, hey, I'll be right back. I go to the front desk. I'm kind of like angling myself so they can't see me from the bar. I'm like, hey, are there any rooms open? I get a new room. I go back to my buddy with the key. I give him the key to the other room. And then I go sit with the other girl. And I'm like, OK, we got. I like text. Why don't you take the new room? What's that? I don't know. It didn't matter. I had the key. I had the key to the to our room. I don't know why I had both keys. You had both. You both had a key to the old room. Yeah. And so you were like, pretty much get your stuff and get out. No, just like we're just go crash in there. We'll meet up. We'll link up in the morning. So then you can we can just take girls to different rooms. Yeah. He's also maybe got a girl. Yeah. So yeah, we're with the two girls there. But he did. Oh, that's so smart. Yeah. That was like I was like, I normally there's no reason for two rooms. But now there's a reason. Now there's a reason for two rooms, dude. Oh, so lucky they had an extra room. Exactly, dude. But in Japan. I had once in Thailand. I was going to like hook up with this chick. But I was like, I was I was staying at one hostel. Yeah. And then you don't get your money back from hostels if you leave early. Yeah. They're like eight bucks a night anyway. They're like, no, you pay it. I'm like, yeah, whatever. So I was staying in one. And then I found out my friend was staying at another one that was more of a party hostel. I was like, oh, fuck it. Let's switch. I just didn't tell anybody because it's embarrassing to those people that you left. Yeah. Thirty six dollars on the table. Yeah. So I was like, I'll switch over there. So I had two rooms that night. Yeah. Across town. And then this chick was like, I'm not fucking you in a dorm. And I was like, OK, I'll get a room. So I got a single. So I had three rooms that night. Yeah. Just so you can get laid. Yeah, dude. Pussy will do that to you. Yeah. Yeah. But when we were in Japan, my buddy did get laid on his birthday. We were. What a way to ring in a new year. It's so good, dude. On your birthday fucking in Japan. Yeah, dude. We were we were in Osaka. We were going to wrap up the night. We were. We met up with these two dudes. We. We met close to Mount Fuji. We just kept calling them the Fuji boys. There's these two dudes. One dude I remember was from Denver. And so we're drinking with them. We're partying with them. The night is literally we're like, we're going to have one beer and then go home. Out of nowhere. This chick from Chile comes and sits at our table and she just immediately starts talking to my boy. What? She has a friend. What? This Brazilian chick who I was not really feeling and was kind of like a little bit a dumpy. It's fair. Yeah. But I was like, well, I got a wingman. My boy, though. I got a wingman my boy and so then we're he's talking her i'm talking to the other girl and da da da this girl's clearly not really into me and i'm like but i'm like we're gonna figure something out and so she's wingman in her front exactly exactly i guess we could just talk we can just talk we can just talk but me and my buddy are sharing a room in osaka yeah so and they're sharing a room in osaka so what we kind of decide on is we're gonna split and you're gonna both go back to uh my buddy goes back to our hotel with the girl i go back to the their hotel with this girl but and she's like just you know nothing's gonna happen her english was really broken i think she was brazilian yeah and she was like i was like yeah no i'm like i'm just doing this for my friend like we're just we're gonna go back and no i find you gross yeah so it's no no quiero i don't know but the one the one thing we started to kind of maybe connect on even though her her english was really broken was uh ufc she does she trains mma and i was like oh okay yeah well you know this fighter blah blah two no i just really like you uh ufc um and so we started talking about all this stuff and i was like how did you get into it and she goes like oh when i was uh 14 i was how you say and i was like oh shit okay yeah no i'm so sorry that's horrible what fuck and we're just like walking back to her that is how i say yeah yeah you're right that is how you say and i was just like jesus fucking christ dude she wanted to defend herself yeah she wanted to be able to defend herself it was such a dark twist on the wow and then we we just went back to her place and we both crashed and you're like well now i do want to hook up yeah i i'm as upset by this as you are but now i do want to let's see we'll see how much your training has paid off yeah um wow if you know quince for their cashmere and elevated essentials you might not know that they also have luggage that earned them a serious following guys they're great 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serendipitous stuff that happened like the hitomi thing of just meeting her randomly there's 200 bars we go into one where she's in and then she's friends with the dude who's on the wrestling show leads us to hanging out with wrestlers smoking and partying with them all night i had some pictures with the whole crew but they're like you can't show that anywhere because it's like the good wrestlers and the bad wrestlers hanging out with each other breaks the immersion right yeah they all hang out in the back it's the same as politicians yeah exactly you're like fuck you i'll block you everywhere this guy's a devil and he's like let's go eat yeah yeah yeah yeah um wow so i mean it sounds like it's non-stop it was you just didn't rest we didn't rest there was even the night when we went out with the wrestlers after the um after the show we were at a place we're eating we're having a drink and then the guy texted me like hey we're gonna be here my buddy looked at me he goes you didn't want him to text you did you and i was like no i wanted to go to bed and he was like dude he's like we have to fucking rally i'm really happy matt pushed me to rally a couple nights where i would have just gone to bed and i you need a friend sometimes yeah because you're you're going like nah and then somebody's like let's go like you're all right yeah and you never regret it yeah never never regret it and we would just the thing about running into people out there is the japanese some spoke a little bit of english yeah but a lot of them speak no english so then if you run to somebody speaks english you're like hey hey what's up hey okay so we're connecting here and we ran to this one dude who owned a vtuber company like what vtubers are like if you've ever been to a vtuber on twitch you know people who like their avatar is like a digital anime chick with like big tits okay have you ever seen this yeah i'm on twitch uh they he owns like a company that makes the software in order for people to be able to do that because it like follows you it's like it's like tracking and stuff so as you're moving this it looks like you're that character and we were talking to this dude that we met him one night in golden guy because in golden guy there's a ramen restaurant that's one of the best ramen restaurants in the world and he's like i'm gonna go to this in japan they have like a um uh what's it called an anchovy broth which is like kind of rare or at least people were saying that it was kind of rare and so that place is open 24 7 so you party all night you drink until like 4 a.m in golden guy then you go to this place you get a late night meal we met this guy over there and uh we connected with him started uh like we texted him whatever uh then he was like okay this was the same night we met hitomi and so we were texting people the next day about meeting up at this place called nakano broadway which is this gigantic mall that has like super rare shit like they trade watches there you can find rare collectibles you can find rare comics and manga and figurines and all sorts of shit and so we're texting we think we're texting yeah this is it we think we're texting fucking hitomi it's this other guy and we're like we meet up with him not knowing it's even gonna be him what and we're just all around nakano broadway we go into like all these little shops they have like oh this is it so you're like down this like yeah alley of stores and yeah every single one of those like signs is another bar and it's just bars and bars and bars and bars that sounds cool oh dude it rules that sounds like our neighborhood but even cooler like like a real like uh it's so real hutong dude it's so tight it's so fun and you can just and so they're all small small like like like 12 ever get in there can't get in there yeah you should go to the next one you go to the next one yeah and so you would sit in there and have a couple drinks and check the vibe then maybe you'd bounce to another place music playing a music playing one place we went to had karaoke and my buddy matt is a like he loves king gizzard he's a musician he's a big music guy and he was like watch it like they're gonna love this song he picked some like obscure chili pepper song and everyone was like boo change it change the song yeah that's great yeah and there's so a few different places like this there that are just these like what is this this is a fucking this is a travel bar yeah 100 percent yeah do you oh yeah do you have any money oh yeah i got money for you dude fuck yeah so i brought you a bill but i also brought you some coins my guy here there's that and then i have like who's this guy a no clue also they don't like it when you fold the money and it folds the face the face they can't crease the face face yeah they're pissed i think so they have a very honorable society really oh yeah dude and then i got you i got you one yen a hundred yen i think this one with the hole is a 50 and then this one's 500 yen how much of these work uh the yen is down right now you're doing an impression of them so what's like a thousand yen a thousand yen is um right look at this oh so this is this is half of this yeah yeah oh look they got a hole in the middle of this one yeah and i think that's 20 it's 25 or 50 i can't remember but they i think uh a thousand yen was roughly 10 bucks if i remember but i think but the yen is going down if there's ever been a time to go to japan it's right now this year it's probably going to be the cheapest time to go to japan in like the last 30 years why what's wrong with their what's wrong i'm not sure what's going But their economy is-- their dollar is just fucking crashing right now yeah i should go to japan yeah yeah absolutely damn so cheap to go that was a another big factor of why we're like we should go now it was cheap it was cheap as hell to go dude um yeah like how much would a beer be you want anything to drink uh maybe you water you said you have coffee coffee water beer uh i'm not doing booze right now but january yeah yeah doing i'm doing no beer no porn no porn no porn no uh nicotine uh no fucking i was doing no caffeine but i broke that i did it last year i went i went no dry no same and then no caffeine but like why that's your one like i think i should do it all yeah no porn though and no gluten no gluten either is what i'm doing dude i think i have uh when i eat gluten i get really foggy i think everyone does i think you're just not there's a lot of people who are like i'm not doing anything but i'm doing nothing i'm doing nothing but i'm doing nothing there's like the gluten celiacs thing yeah but then everyone's a little bit like not allergic but like it's it's fucking you and my sister's um she's gluten intolerant like she'll get really does that just mean your black friend yes she's like don't bring any of those glutens around okay i don't like them in my house i don't like them in my neighborhood sister i didn't mean you no disrespect um why is she doing all that yeah yeah so you don't want so you don't want coffee well no i i drank i broke the no caffeine i drank coffee like the last three days so it might be the hardest one it is the hardest one it is because the no porn you just jerk off it's done the no gluten i can still eat rice off which is what you're gonna do anyway like i'll just use my imagination i'll get back to the basics it's not like you no jerking off would be a much harder way harder thing because no one's watching porn and not jerking off no no no nobody normal but you can but you if you can just go into your memory and i've definitely noticed it's like i'm way more like i'm losing that i was desensitized before like why like i'm easier to get rid of it and i'm like i'm losing that i was desensitized to get turned on well like it's just better it's better it's better for your brain um the no booze i got a little too casual with booze i was always like either we're drinking or we're not but i got to like i'm at a show give me give me a white claw give me a blah blah blah and i've never been like that before and i was like okay we gotta cut that that's gotta go yeah we're just like yeah it's tuesday yeah i'm like what am i having a drink for i heard a story about sebastian and some older comic and um and he goes the older gives a laugh factory especially just kind of just getting going and he was like uh especially you don't drink i was no i drink and then i was like well why aren't you drinking he goes bro it's tuesday yeah it's like what are you what are you why am i gonna have a drink on a tuesday dude yeah going to a spot and going home exactly yeah so i wanted to cut that out the caffeine i got to the point where i was having like a coffee and like two celsius in a day and so that had to i was like we got to cut that back a lot um and what else is on the fucking list wow you went all just january just january because i'm going to vegas on february 10th with good to know that you're like hey this isn't gonna happen here when burt wanted to first do like like sober whatever because i was sober for a month and i was like oh bro you're about to go to australia yeah so i'm like oh you can't be sober and you will fail yeah you can't be sober and also what's the fuck like you don't travel to a place and be like i got all these rules that's when you let go yeah dude when i was in japan i wasn't like i gotta we gotta count our money dude we bought uh fucking it's like how much was a beer do you remember oh i think a beer was around like three bucks great yeah not like nothing but like pretty fucking cheap pretty cheap i spent 12 on one yesterday and they have this thing over there that they love called highball which they have on tap highball is basically seltzer with uh whiskey just together and then you can get it in cans and all sorts of different stuff they love highball over there um and oh yeah the convenience store uh if you go you got to get uh they they showed me this little hack you so it's late say you can't know like ramen or anything's open you go to the convenience store you get one of their egg sandwiches which like uh it's egg salad sandwich at a convenience store what's that dip it in rum you you get they also have fried chicken on like this like little uh rack thing you get fried chicken put it in the egg salad sandwich that that was the shit dude yeah dude they they have so many little food hacks over there the food was un-fucking-believable so yeah here we got so we went one of our first meals was at mcdonald's in uh japan so this was a teriyaki chicken teriyaki uh you guys say um oh pasta pasta yeah pasta pillow house about um fuck what else is another one but yeah they're they do the words do pop up they're in there but we this was uh so we we stopped here this was mcdonald's yeah this was the first time i used a bidet too i'd never used a bidet before and they had a day at the mcdonald's i don't even wipe yo you just let it crust man you get used to it over time but uh my buddy also did one of the most degenerate moves i've ever seen a human being do so we go to the digital kiosk thing to order in japan and he just starts ordering like rapid and i was like dude because we had been doing a little do lingo before learn some japanese that's smart yeah that's real smart get a few words here and there be able to ask for directions or whatever like uh what was it i think that's where uh where's the uh where's the train station where's the okay wow that's pretty good yeah i got it i i did it for like pretty fucking good for at least three or four months i was gonna three or four months leading up to it yeah and i would just it was how much did that help you get around basically nothing like i was able to count to 10 in a bar and the people are like whoa it's like each in nissan yo go uh uh what's eight fuck uh i can't remember eight and jew jew is 10 i can't remember eight or nine but pretty good pretty good but that's great but also you haven't that's six months ago eight months ago yeah yeah and i that's great i kept up with it a little bit after to be like i watch a lot of anime so i was like well oh you know i'll use it and i'll be able to if i'm watching anime all the time and i'm still learning japanese i'll keep up with it uh yeah on the next to the machete for sure i want to be next to the machete i also yeah i have no clue who the guy on their money is no idea bro nice adding yeah this wall going yeah nice what's the machete from uh ecuador nice yeah we'd always have these uh we'd stop and get these coco frios yeah you know spanish at all uh coco frio like an iced coconut kind of thing yeah yeah just cold yeah and then so they chop open the thing put a straw on there but then you're like you drink it out but if you took it and left you'd be like oh i can't get any of the meat yeah but if you did it there they'd be like when you're finished they'd chop it open for you and make a little spoon out of the husk and you could like eat all the coconut meat oh but you had to be there and someone's like no we're just getting it and going yeah so let's just get a machete yeah just buy machete ourselves yeah get back to where we're staying and chop it open and eat it oh they're great that's that's the one we use all through ecuador fuck yeah dude that's sick and they how'd you get it back here packed it i mean uh uh checked bag checked bag yeah you can take shit like that okay sick yeah i try to take that into kill tony for some sketch and they stop me oh yeah that's fair that's fair yeah msg msg they're like hey they come over and be like do you have a machete here and i was like thinking of lying and it was like yeah i'm not using for anything they're like no you got it absolutely do you have a machete here the rumor the rumor got out i'm like we definitely know i do so oh so you got it in but people started whispering about my car in like i was able to drive it underneath yeah this thing we were doing and it was like and then the other word got out and they were like why'd you tell him like he asked me directly yeah he asked me fucking directly what am i supposed to say exactly if a guy goes not do you have a weapon on you do you like do you have a machete here it's like straight up to me do you have this thing that you definitely have yeah you're like yeah you got me sometimes you gotta just let it go um there's the rectum oh there's ramen there's one i think i do so would you would just try everything is that the stuff that that's the 7-eleven like crack it open exactly what a snack yeah so a real fresh rice i wish i had a video of of how it would unfold it was so cool because it would just you pull like three tabs and then the whole thing the the seaweed would just wrap perfectly around it but that was one of our first meals they had a guy i saw you with in tomkins um no that's not uh you saw me with jacob and andrew i think in thompson square park yeah those are jacob andrew both comics this was just some of the ramen we got i think this might have been was it really good oh god dude so good the thing they really like out there is you can get uh carbonara udon and so they make like like a carbonara broth yeah as and then they put like hunks of like bacon and all this stuff in it and then you have these like thick noodles it was so unbelievable carbonara udon was by far one of the best things carbonara udon oh yeah that sounds great this is more wrestling stuff this is the donut this is the donut i was telling you about is that typical or is that nice yeah you know that account um secret buttholes no it's an instagram account and just all things that look like buttholes yeah that would be deep on there that's like that's a good secret butthole yeah okay where are we that's more wait go back to the go back to the tits yeah now that i know the context so that's what you stick on yourself so you can squeeze some of these tits yeah so you could put this like you buy these giant silicone shit there yeah yeah dude i definitely did not have a tan going in there um but this and this place was like seven stories tall every floor was like a different theme of porn like one was just like all hentai like magazines and then there was like different fleshlight section there was like a dildo section there's one that was like like more novelty they had like weird flavored condoms like wasabi sushi mount fuji oh wasabi flavored condom i mean i get strawberry i get nothing but like first of all who's blowing somebody through a condom besides the tijuana hooker that did it for me but like but like obviously that's a fucking you know risk of the trade but yeah that's it you're not also like blowing was crazy crazy yeah you're feeling that buzz in your brain yeah maybe that's part of the fun yeah you're gonna like it's like you know you get that where you get the horseradish shit like out of your mouth yeah yeah dude um but this yeah that place was just that was one of our first stops like uh this is all in akihabara where like all the big all the big tech stuff is um then there was like all these figurines like this tons of shit that was like super horny and we talked to some people who so when we were hanging out with the drunken japan guy there was also a chick with him who had one he like did basically i'm taking one of his figurines and he was like i'm taking one of his figurines and he was like i'm taking one person to japan i'm going to tour them around it was some girl who had lived in japan for like eight years this english chick so she was like telling us all about living in japan and stuff like this these kind of figurines dudes will put them on their desk at work they'll have like the horniest display of just like anime like borderline porn chicks just on and it's just like how you express yourself wow this was a top ramen restaurant that's known did the local chicks talk to you at all uh there was uh so we what we didn't find out till like it was like our last day and we kind of fucked this up if you're going to japan you're trying to get laid ask about gaijin bars so the gaijin is what they call like the whites the tourists and so you got to find gaijin bars wouldn't that just be all tourists uh what's that wouldn't it just be all tourists hanging out with other tourists but some girls go to the japanese girls go to the gaijin bars to specifically fuck tourists because there's a big it's like those people went on j-date because like i'm not jewish but jewish chicks want to fuck yes exactly chicks go on j-date to find jewish guys but also like well all right and there's a huge like japan is its own world it's an island it's been isolated forever and it feels that way but not in a bad way not where you're like where the fuck am i but you can tell that they're like their customs are different how they talk to people is different how they interact is completely different the way they respect the rules and everything is different so some of these chicks are very like i only fuck japanese dudes and some of them are like i really really really want to fuck a westerner or a foreigner because this is such a different thing to me dude one of the wildest things we did there was we uh when we're hanging with a drunken japan guy he was like hey do you want to like hang out with some porn stars and we were like yeah and so he took us to this place they have a thing over there called girlfriend service similar to like the muscle girl bar where it's kind of girls like put on a show or they hang out with you and he's like we're gonna go to this one specific one you go in you sit down you pay like a flat rate to get in and so it was like 80 bucks to get in uh and then that included all you can drink and like 40 minutes of seating time and so you sit down in a booth there's like four dudes of us sitting in this booth we have our like the whiskey they bring over then four girls come over and the girl comes and she sits with you and she's talking to you and then immediately this girl's like doing google translate on her phone and she was like oh do you know like do you know the services and she and i was like no what does that mean yeah so she keeps typing and she's like like kiss kiss you want to kiss and so like i start making out with this girl and then she's like yeah touch touch and she like pulls her charging you for it so you get charged for time so if so the girl would stay for 20 minutes that's two girls and so if you want to keep staying after that you pay again to keep the extension going and then kiss and tits there's not extra not extra not extra you touch the tits and then she gets on and she's like straddling me and then i'm like sucking the tits dude wow but the guy who brought us she had little jappy tits little jappy tits dude everyone over there had little jappy tits and they also kissed weird they would kiss and then they would do this like side to side like a horizontal move with their tongue like like a lizard like what yeah dude and weird then i'm sucking this japanese girl's tits and then that's what we when we were little we say that's what their pussies were like but no that's what their tongues that's what their tongues are like dude they kiss sideways yeah okay so what and so she i'm sucking her tits she lifts up my shirt starts sucking my tits no yeah dude she's sucking lying laughing because we were like she starts she's like so like their her english is not that good but she starts talking to me like so like what do you like to do and i was like i don't know like video games like i like i'm like i don't know what to say this girl she's like what video games and i say elden ring and my buddy bursts out laughing he's like yo this guy's doing the elden ring game what the fuck is this guy talking about and they would like give you a card at the end so she gives me a card before they swap her out and she goes like oh so you know if you want me to come back i'll come back more extreme services and i was like part of my brain was like fuck yeah but the dude who brought us there wasn't the drunken japan guy it was like someone he worked with i knew we were already kind of getting fleeced because we went to this other bar before and he was like oh it's like so much to get in everyone throw me some money and then we all threw him some money and then we went in there and then i remember he was supposed to give me change back and he never did and i was like i'm not gonna bring it up this guy's kind of fleecing me right now and so when we were in the place he was like oh yeah it's three girls it's only two girls so then the third girl comes and he's like oh you guys want to keep staying and then a fourth girl comes so then we paid double time and he's probably getting a cut of like bringing people in and shit and that's a lot of it always vegas the same way it's like guys want to strip club like no you're pushing us to go because they pay you to let us off there exactly and so when we all leave we go okay we're like i i just pay it all on my card and it was whatever like 320 bucks for like this like for everybody for everybody can you fuck i think i didn't go after the extreme services because i was like i know we're already getting fleeced by this guy so i don't know how she's gonna try and fleece me right now i'm like i can only get fucked so many ways let's see what these up sales are exactly ever buy a a sprite for a girl at a strip club that doesn't have alcohol no like you buy me a sprite or like yeah all right and then it's like 18 you know oh right yeah you don't want a sprite you get a free sprite exactly why the fuck would i buy you a sprite so wow interesting and so you booze during this too yeah you booze during it the girls would like pour you a drink they would like they take their the little decanter girlfriend experience they really and one girl who i was with she showed me like they have the jav models like jav is like their porn like their porn hub kind of thing yeah and she was showing me like these are all like the pornos i've been in like this is my body of work yeah she showed me the whole breakdown dude body work is a great phrase for that yeah yeah yeah but then when we left the dude because we're like okay well i was like i'll pay it on my card and then we all split and then so we left and then we go meet up with the drunk the japan guy and then the one dude who brought us in there tries to leave and i was like whoa wait we got it he's like and he kept being like man i don't even have any money man and we're like i was like what the fuck you talking about they brought you in yeah the guy brought all my fucking change from before yeah exactly dude and so the dream must just see tourists and try to get money out of them you're gone next guy next next guy next guy but then the drunken japan guy kind of took him aside and then he came back with money and he was like dude i'm so sorry like i haven't really worked with this guy before i'm fucking like i the drunk japan guy said that about the other one yeah yeah but the buzz and the yeah and so he i did he got it all settled up he's like i don't want any bad blood the drunken japan guy ruled he was a really fucking cool guy um and he made sure i got this guy paid his fucking cut of the titty suck in time um but that was that was the closest we got to getting fleeced everywhere you go they'll try and fleece even in japan where it's very honorable they'll try and fleece you a little bit there's people waiting around they always say there's like they're like don't trust the nigerians there's all these dudes in the street and like hey man my guy you want uh you want lady huh you want strippers uh all the whole world uh hey my guy you know they're so friendly they do have they are the ones to go to for weed though yeah yeah the nigerians everywhere hash and weed yeah dude yeah um but yeah it was unbelievable dude it was unbelievable it was like a i can't wait to see you go back was there anything you wanted to do that you didn't get to i want to go to okinawa so okinawa is like their hawaii so one of my buddies went there for like six weeks or so he he got like let go from his job and got a big like fifty thousand dollar just like one-time payout and he basically was like yeah i'm gonna go like just live in asia and europe for six months and so he was in japan for like six weeks straight oh it's way south yeah and it's if you look on like on the whatever the latitude or longitude or wherever the fuck it is it's the same level as hawaii no it doesn't count though because yeah here's why look at this longitude latitude let's say let's put it all on the same map so france is fucking like saskatoon yeah or at least northern you know yeah true so it isn't all equal yeah i don't understand it all but it is and morocco's fucking north carolina yeah i mean does morocco get cold i don't know look at spain it's massachusetts yeah that's spain's hot maybe it goes on like an angle because the earth's tilted right it's an angle yeah it's an angle because it's never made sense to me no i'm not a geography major yeah but anyway look at so they're yeah like like southern california mexico almost yeah and so okinawa is supposed to have a very similar climate to japan and the okinawans are uh i mean very similar to hawaii yes and the okinawans are also similar to the hawaiians where they're like hawaiians are like we're not american we're hawaiian like the okinawans are like we're not japanese we're okinawan and i want to go over there check that shit out uh they also have a comedy club so there was the tokyo uh comedy bar there's a comedy club it's just above hawaii it's pretty close yeah dude the tokyo comedy bar they have the tokyo comedy bar but there's also one in osaka called ror like rar instead of lol wow the crazy thing is like if you do those kind of things in the west that's considered racist they're very self-aware of the their inability to sell say else and they don't care they don't give a shit dude it's so funny we were walking in edinburgh down um down um one of the main streets yeah and um i was i found at a thrift store charity shop i found this like really cool um like chinese embroidered silk thing and i was wearing it and and dulce sloan was there and she goes this is cultural appropriation i was like i don't know she goes it's like it's like borderline black face and i'm like no and she's like why are you wearing i'm like it's pretty yeah i just like because it's pretty she's like i feel like you still have to get permission and then as we were saying that it's a tourist town especially in the summer these like six chinese people walk by they go oh yeah yeah and i'm like so permission permission i literally all right yeah i got it they're going rrr yeah it's like okay we kind of get to do it dude yeah it's here too uptight wow did you see this no i don't know what that is at all this is okinawa okay okay yeah that's why i didn't house i didn't get to go to okinawa you didn't get to yeah okinawa is next time i go back i'm definitely gonna do okinawa i would do more time in um in osaka they call osaka rice vegas because it's very like glitz and glam a lot of shiny signs also the that's how tokyo is tokyo is i saw that just now it was like it looked kind of like tokyo-ish with all the signs in the time but there's like more uh i guess like degeneracy in osaka than in um tokyo like in osaka you can find like love hotels and shit like when we were we so that's all through south america yeah the love hotels like it's like whatever you get an hour or you pull right in pull the thing no one sees in the car no one sees your car yeah it's super cheap the when we were in osaka we were partying with the wrestlers and shit but my buddy screwed up and he he booked all the accommodations he booked us accommodations in kyoto kyoto's like 45 minutes away from us and we're like oh my god we're like oh my god we're like oh my god we're from osaka but taking an uber would be like i don't know it was costing us like 100 bucks to get back and uh the trains all shut down at a certain time so we're partying late in osaka and we're like fuck what do we do uh we one of the guys goes oh just get one of those love hotels just go in one of there it's like super cheap so we go in and we try to get one of the osaka okinawa you know in osaka okay it's a pretty fucking place in the fall and we try to get in a room at a love hotel and we try to get in a room at a love hotel and we try to get in a room at a love hotel and the lady won't sell it to us she's like no no no no no no and she keeps going like two rooms two rooms and we're like okay fine we'll get two rooms what's the difference and then she goes no you go locked door like no you can't don't leave don't leave because she thought we were trying to fuck each other and they're anti-gay they're really anti-gay over there really and the crazy thing is they have some of the most feminized men i've ever seen in my life but they're super anti-gay i guess like hey dude we run this risk if we're gonna be that femmy yeah yeah we it's gonna be all gay in no time we're gonna lose our whole race so like yeah you can't you can't um wow yeah so that wow and so we ended up just that anti-gay super anti-gay dude super anti-gay um yeah this is i that looks not that picture right there the one above looks super familiar yeah yeah that's right along the river yes so there's a big river that like runs and basically separates osaka into two sections and there's a big bridge that goes across here you'll find like tons of normal like starbucks is there h&m is there like all the regular shit so he dry uh and you also want to eat the uh taco takoyaki i think it's called takoyaki what is that i've heard of they're like these um uh like squid bowls they're like fried squid or it's like uh like dough that's been fried with squid in it um and they are they're from osaka so there's tons of takoyaki places so we kind of went and ate a bunch of takoyaki there it's one of the things where you're like you're gonna burn the squid balls squid balls you're gonna burn what you're gonna burn the fuck out of the roof of your mouth because they come out they're like gooey on the inside they like it's not fully cooked like a like a piece of bread or something it's kind of soggy um but uh but yeah that was like probably one of the greatest things we ate while we're there so you must have just oh wow look at this a squid in it yeah yeah dude wow dude we ate good oh yeah we ate super good over there we ate tons of ramen uh ramen was probably the thing i ordered the most and ate the most we only got sushi once and it was kind of mid yeah and i think it was me i always only thought of japanese food as sushi and then i learned about ramen and and like and fillets and like shit like that yeah oh i thought it was just sushi and so we and udon i don't know what the udon and ramen is udon's like a thicker noodle i'm pretty sure it's a thicker noodle different kind of broth and stuff um but we uh we wanted to do an omakase while we're there but it was like there dude you could be in just tokyo for like five minutes and then you're like oh my god i'm like two or three weeks and there's still so much to see right a big mistake we made was moving to too many different cities we should have that is a mistake huh just that'll be a good travel tip in general like don't go see out the whole country yeah do stay like we like we stayed overnight in um kawakuchiko which is close to mount fuji i was looking up yeah i actually should have a picture of us at yeah this is all the mount fuji shit here so this is like there's mount fuji in the background yeah with the corner comedy club that's the represent that's the comedy came up in in toronto i went to omakase sushi by scratch this guy philip has has one yeah and he was like opening weeks like when it comes like okay he's like an awesome guy yeah he just hung out with her i just thought it was a sushi place yeah and then it was at omakase where they really serve everyone at the same time high high end they like sear stuff right there everyone's like one piece of sushi like yeah specifically it was so good yeah yeah it was so good it's a sushi by scratch it was so fucking good i got i gotta try that i got yeah that was norman went later yeah i saw mark on the screen and i was like oh my god i'm gonna eat that i'm gonna eat that i'm gonna eat that i'm yelling there yeah it was just so good and i was i had just been bit by a bunch of nymph ticks so i couldn't have meat at the time so we had this like is that a thing yeah the nymph ticks carry alpha gal instead of lime and yeah and it'll make you like allergic to red meat forever forever yeah yeah so you have a certain certain pair of antibiotics until it's like cleared out your system that if it like it's about to be set off as long as you don't set it off you're fine yeah but if you do set it off you just can't eat red meat forever wow so it was like he was like you should we just risk it like no no don't risk it yeah and so we had to just watch everyone and he was mocking us he was like so this is um bone marrow it's like cooked in this way for anyone who can eat it he goes and here's a piece of fish for you again damn it i mean it's not worth the fucking risk never be able to eat a steak again in your life yeah i bet dude yeah so that's mount fuji behind that's mount fuji yeah so there's like we stayed in this little place where you like slept on the floor uh in uh couch kuchiko yeah the thing where you ate ate like this on the floor no we didn't we didn't do the full eating on the floor but we slept we like we would i don't know you lay on your side with the fucking junk food we got in the place where we're eating there um then oh this is the asahi dry dude asahi it's their beer huh we drank so many of these every place we go be like you want to get a crispy boy they'd be like fucking that's your cold snacks that's the japanese cold snack oh dude it was so many crispies we love it was so you called them crispies oh yeah it's so great when you have a thing with somebody like you're ready for like you're just like that's gonna be our thing oh yeah this trip we and we drank i don't know how i'm not a beer big beer drinker but we drank so many and it was so cold oh it's ice cold ice cold you would pop it and then they also they had um they had two taps they would have a tap for like fucking pouring the beer and then they have a tap to put the foam on top of the beer dude so it's like perfect foam every time and the foam is like because normally you get your foam on your beer you're kind of like i can't wait for this to go away it's almost like uh the um like blocky this was like it was like creamy dude it was so the foam was great wow like a guinness foam was like a good one exactly so this was leading up to where we're going to calico you got your two bears 5k shirt i have one of those yeah i threw it away somewhere but i had it yeah i think i got a couple of them hanging around somewhere because i think i got like a large and an xl yeah it's like just give me both yeah they're like here you guys want some shirts ah but there was like this temple you could stop at so on the way to mount fuji you take a from uh it's like you're taking the bullet train from they had the bullet trains yeah yeah oh yeah the bullet train was sick we got like the j pass which is like you can take a bunch of the subway with the j pass and take the bullet train as much as you need to and they named it after jews yeah they named it after jews dude it's crazy man j pass yeah well it's a train yeah oh right right right yeah so and we know what side of the war they were on so yeah they're not forgetting who they were the only the only benefit they got like how were the japanese to jews like there were no jews there like oh yeah they were not forgetting who they were they were not forgetting who they were oh okay yeah yeah all right exactly no the chinese though they fucked up the chinese dude yeah the history there is not great when when you find out like because uh my buddy was a teacher in korea and he said like one of the kids was like teacher teacher 1944 japan yeah and like but then you find out the history you go like oh your beef is real like yeah yeah they had the nanking the chat of nanking yeah um uh there's another word for it but whatever but They got into a walled city. They broke through or whatever, and then they got in there and they go, shut the fuck up. the doors behind us yeah and then they were just like just ravaged that's how yeah there are there's some story of two japanese soldiers having a competition of seeing who could kill the most people with swords and they would kill people's swords and then come back with an ear and apparently they came back they tied and then went to do a tiebreaker isn't that horrifying yeah yeah in terms of like competition that they ties suck yeah yeah you go you do it you do need the time yeah you need a tiebreaker yeah and now they don't have a military it's an overtime yeah they dominated another way yeah yeah exactly yeah they i mean they've like the third largest economy in the world and they own like out of the top five most valuable ips they own like three of them like the most sony that kind of shit i think like i'm not sure what the parameters are for specifically an ip but it's i it's like i guess stuff you can like sells merchandise and characters and shit but pokemon's number one the dragon ball z is like number three and then like naruto's super high one piece is like number five or something like that like these guys pokemon first mickey mouse and friends two yeah winnie the pooh wow yeah star wars disney uh anyway that all that like they they have been able in terms of like foreign culture that we consume yeah they are do a lot they're super high like i don't watch fucking pokemon yeah pokemon all that shit like i don't watch like italian movies so funny you're like what is it why are so many koreans here and you see some like like so-and-so's playing like who's that like a way bigger band than anyone you know of exactly bro yeah the hugest band in the fucking world but what else we got here these are the dry the crispy boys this was another one of these uh temples that we went to there was pagodas let me see that again yeah those are really cool yeah dude so this was built i can't remember the reason everyone in japan have cameras um not just really just it was just tourists like they they were like they were like they were like they were the japanese are very private very respectful they're not taking pictures of people they have like very strict rules on something there's no garbage cans like around the city you can find garbage cans in like convenience stores and stuff uh hitomi told us it was because it was a guy basically like close to the olympics put a bunch of like gas bombs in garbage cans and tried to do like a big terrorist attack so they're like no more garbage cans we're taking that shit away the you can't smoke they love cigarettes over there but you can't smoke a cigarette and walk on the sidewalk because a kid got a cigarette like burned on his face like because you're walking the cigarettes like kid level hit a kid no more cigarettes on sidewalks like they make a rule they're like no more no more of this shit and they're they follow the rules they do have weird creep stuff over there they have like those upskirt guys that like film like with the fucking sticks and really yeah that i mean we didn't see anything of it but that's what they're telling you like this is like a thing yeah that's the thing that happens over there wow yeah there's a lot of weird repressed it seems like it might be like a bit repressed oh yeah the when when you would go into the manga store there would be like oh here's the porn section and there'd be like weird shit in there dude weird shit that's like like what i never need to see that again like kid shit like yeah yeah it was like like that's wrong yeah but they're squid squid pussies are like squid pussies yeah yeah yeah they're they there was stuff where people are just getting like shit on like it was just weird shit dude like you would go in and be like oh it's the porn section and you would be like jesus christ and you'd be like fucking out of there dude disgusting for me yeah wow yeah so there was there's just wild shit over there wild shit dude um but i think it's like there's a small subsection of people who are just like crazy about it and then most people just live in their fucking regular ass lives is there anything you would tell somebody that's like they're going like hey this might not be in any of the books do this thing um definitely like yeah don't keep bring a bag around like a little uh like backpack so you can put your garbage and your shit in there garbage right so those are garbage because what do you do with those garbage and your shit in there garbage right so those are garbage because what do you do with it you want to hold it exactly have a little thing okay a little backpack we bought like little string bags while we were there definitely get like set up in one city i like or one part of the city shinjuku was my favorite neighborhood in tokyo okay uh there's sumida has like more temples and shit and then uh what is the one where like all the clubs are it's like the party area juku city was with the alleys or the bars yes yeah yeah that's where shinjuku was that's where some really good food was when we were talking to hitomi she's like that's kind of a fucking ton of fun there the red light district was there too um but there's uh not sumida what is it uh there's one area where like all the nightclubs are that's like the famous famous area the shinjuku no i said shinjuku the crossing what's the crossing called again there's the big crossing yeah in japan uh fuck it does start with an s fuck i can't remember the name dude uh but that just set up in the neighborhood that you the world's busiest crossing one of the busiest pedestrian and and you did it yeah everybody crosses this way that way that way that way we did the crossing how do you not bump into people you just kind of like move through it's all like kind of i don't know they're like you're like ants or something like that uh taking pictures of it yeah we took a few pictures of it i don't know if i if i because i have them all in just a big folder and i don't know if i took those ones out oh this is there's the sperm this oh yeah the sperm yeah asahi tower yeah dude this is the carbonara ramen i was telling you about this fucking ripped dude and then this was one of the big temples this is hitomi there's hitomi there's a tome what's up dude yeah hitomi and that's down that alley no no this was just a random alley when we were going around all these temples and shit here so this is asakura where she was taking us to see like all this cool shit asakura asakura yeah not a porn star uh uh you're thinking is it no asakura you might be right maybe i'm saying it wrong i thought it was asakura uh asakura okay okay okay it's the porn star yeah she's the one who actually started putting porn on only fans first really yeah yeah asakura we fucking you changed the game you really did yeah but here you would go and you would like they had this thing where there's like smoke burning off of like an incense and you would like blow it on your face and it was like just supposed to get away bad spirits and then you could uh buy these fortunes and you would read the fortune and if the fortune was good you would keep it if the fortune was bad you would tie it off on this fucking like this wall where all these people had tied their fortunes and like try to get the fucking bad energy off of you it's like that needs to go uh like so weird yeah there was time that's so cool to dive into some other culture like that like oh let's try it yeah dude imagine if you've never seen a wishing well and somebody told you like throw it like on me let's coin in there yeah um get a wish like whoa so you did comedy there i did comedy there and it was super fun it was all like had you had it set up or you just try to get it once you were there yeah so uh i don't know do you know therapy gecko have you ever heard of him therapy gecko yeah he's got a great podcast great platform he fucking rules he does like a call-in show where people call him like their problems and he dresses as a big gecko but he did a show here and so i posted on my story being like hey uh does anyone know of any comedy in japan because i just was like might as well do some comedy and then you can write off a bit of the trip too it's a dude what underrated any comedian watching do a gig yeah you can write off all the trip yeah exactly you can write off your flight to get there yeah yeah it doesn't matter how much you're making for the gig it's like but you can put it on your expenses were three thousand dollars to go make 200 yeah that's it that's expenses off your total not off that trip off your total year exactly exactly some investments you lose yeah so that's part of your like texas it's a loss it's a loss no biggie but this show fucking ruled this show ripped they were cool expats or japanese expats like all expats lot of military dudes um show was super fun i did a second show there that was not as good i was super hung over and just did not put on as good of a performance um but uh but yeah the guys there were so cool one of the dudes there was telling us about living in china pre fucking um i guess like full shutdown and full lockdown he was like it was the craziest time ever he was talking about how his boss would like they were like at work events would just bring in like a parade of hookers and shit and like partying like nuts over there um and he i've never done as much coke in a city as i did in beijing really in beijing isn't don't they just chop your fucking head off for that shit listen there's like rules on paper and there's rules like somebody was telling me i was like doing a podcast about egypt and or i mentioned it anyway with like the cab drivers like hey you don't have to wear a seatbelt here i was like oh okay he goes yeah so take it off yeah okay and meanwhile you're driving the other side of the highway to avoid like bombed out fucking holes in the highway yeah and somebody was like no it's actually a law that you do have to wear your seatbelt in egypt i'm like and you can't jaywalk in new york yeah exactly that's not reality that's just the law i saw a video of a dude in uh afghanistan and he was like he goes he's like watch they're gonna all freak out i want to put my seatbelt on he puts his hand they're like no no no no no no we don't wear a seatbelt he's like if we die we die like men wow yeah they're like that's so gay yeah it's so gay it's just cultural differences like uh okay all right but they hold hands they hold hands with other dudes my culture your homo shit is gay yeah isn't that weird how your homo shit is not gay in your culture but it's so gay in my culture yeah dude what else we got cooking here this is more the car shit so okay this area in shinjuku all of japan was super clean super nice and super together and then when the drunken japan took us to like this one area where there was like greasers greasers homeless people we saw our like first homeless guy and even kate homeless people over there we drove under this bridge and we were like oh my god we're gonna die we're gonna die we're gonna die we're gonna die "Oh, this is kind of where some of the homeless people are." five homeless people and they all have their like their they had little tents or little boxes set up they take off their shoes before they go in really i love when people think that their thing is like we saw them marching in montreal about raising the tuitions yeah colleges yeah well they're really rebelling here yeah like thousands of people marching on the street yeah and we're like what are they what is it how much they raise into they're like it's going from like 700 to 750 they're like oh fuck you guys yeah yeah shut up i think that's you gotta rebel though you gotta or it'll become 40 000 a year exactly they go like let's just 50 bucks what do you mean it's just like i like that's what the nra does yeah no we don't necessarily want random people have machine guns it's you start taking steps yeah you're gonna take away our guns yeah i don't want you to do it we don't know exactly so you can't touch the guns dude i like how the french freak out the french as soon as you try to touch anything they do they just burn shit to the ground they fuck their parliament they're like fuck you when that uh emmanuel macron when he was going to swim in the river and they all did the mass defecation in the river oh dude yeah did you hear about that so when the paris olympics were happening they uh they were like we're going to clean the river sands or whatever that river is there yeah and they're uh so they did this mass cleaning thing costs like billions of dollars and then the prime minister was like to prove that it's clean i'm gonna swim in it so the people of france planned this mass defecation thing that they were gonna shit up river from oh my god like in a horde of shit and then he never ended up doing the swimming but it's so funny that they came together to shit in the river dude um yeah bro okay this is some uh i think some temple stuff from when we were in uh cool too this might have been kyoto i'm not what's the religion there i don't know what the religion is there dude to be 100 percent honest oh yeah it's more super nintendo world yeah yeah i think this is where we started um i have no clue i have no clue what the religion is there i think some people are maybe christian they're definitely people still go to i saw shogun was that a show in the last five years yeah yeah and it was like during the parent the japans where uh christianity was in there big but then the old religion was like a battle between the christians and this and they had all these like outreach people whatever they're called for christianity um like the missionaries missionary so they like really spreading christianity but other people like i'll be christian for like politics here because this will get me ahead in this town yeah like no but then it was whatever the other religion was yeah they they definitely still go to like we would go to a temple and then drop a little bit of money and we're like you're so wrong about stuff in this podcast all the time and i'm like yeah i know we're not i'm not researching it no we're just fucking two dudes shooting some shit dude we're telling you about some trip i went on it's like bro i was like chill out go on a trip yourself yeah sounds great oh yeah yeah i i i couldn't shintoism shintoism okay make up 70 of the total population they would they would do like if you went to buddhism makes 69.8 of the population oh i don't know how that adds up yeah maybe some people double up maybe you can double religions there you can stack just in case just in case you're i'm like if i die i got i invested in multiple places it's like you don't want one portfolio your portfolio diversified in case something goes wrong exactly yeah dude um and they had rules like i would say if there's something you should follow while you're in japan you should follow japan you should follow japan just get an understanding of some of their uh pleasantries like learn how to say thank you like uh what was it uh arigato gozaimasu um learn like these are tips right now yeah that's where we get to okay go ahead learn like how they walk on one side of the street not the other side of the street the no smoking anywhere where smoking sections you should smoke learn the the acceptable yes they're very language they're huge on not being rude they don't want you to be rude and you come over and you're like a rude loud westerner there's like no talking on the train um just no talking the train love that yes love that you know who would not like japan every black woman yeah no they would hate it over there dude yeah speakerphone loud talking oh the puerto ricans could not make it not at all he saw this puerto rican guy the other day he had all he had on was this was in the summer he has on a tank top shorts and he's holding the speaker no backpack with his phone i guess in his pocket he literally just left home with the speaker dude that's all he brought that's some respect for oh whatever whatever it's crazy to me because the speaker costs more than the headphones yeah and if you get the headphones like wired headphones at target come with a warranty a two-year warranty the worst of the people do the speaker when you're hiking oh bro bro this is about listening to the birds i don't want to leave i don't want to listen to your music no no no and i'm probably on mushrooms right right you're ruining the vibe ruining the vibe dude um that's good tips yeah uh do you have any general travel tips oh general travel tips uh i would say be cool with not doing too much yeah that's the one you had before was don't go to try to go to every city yeah in a place because japan seems like a small country but it's pretty fucking big though it's so dense the bullet train can get you almost everywhere in that country yeah a good general travel uh tip is to have like plan a chill day plan that's a fine job yeah like like go to a plan a day to go to a beach to relax we were moving a ton but there were a couple days where like i think there was one day we were super hung over and we really just kind of vegged out maybe we ventured out and got some food and went and got some drinks at night and it's like just be okay with like you're supposed to kind of chill out you're supposed to kind of have like a relaxing time um and another general travel trip tip would be like be aware of your surroundings understand like if you're in a dangerous country what the drug laws and shit are like little things like that um it's a good tip for me because you can research it ahead of time yeah oh yeah yeah for sure like we were the something my buddy told me about going to japan was like he's like do not take drugs from anyone like hatomi we got to know hatomi for a bit but he basically said there's people like that who like float around the clubs and go like oh do you want some and then you take some and then you're fucked yeah thailand they said they had that it's changed i think it might be legal that with weed but they were like smoking smoking you want you want some you're like you're okay like we're both cops you're coming with us yeah and you're like what oh dude i thought you've been chill yeah exactly it's gonna get anybody exactly it's like what the fuck you gave it to me i didn't even go find it that's some craziness dude what crazy entrapment i wasn't even gonna find like sweet i haven't been able to find it anywhere here yeah it's like cops are flush with it they pull down your pants and like uh public indecency you're coming with us it's like what the fuck dude you pulled my dick out jay where else do you want to go what's calling you what other place okay i think the next trip is i would love to go uh to okinawa for in japan but then you can go right over to korea it's super close you can go over to korea uh i would love to go to like busan and seoul and check out more train to busan dude that with the zombies i've never seen it but i saw it once and loved it then i saw it again my friends and i was like this is cheesy as fuck yeah i don't know how i saw it the first time yeah i don't know how i saw it the first time i don't know how i saw it the first time yeah i saw it in canada the first time in vancouver that's kind of my plan for that korea not bad if everything goes tits up yeah if people say society is going to collapse like they think it's going to collapse i think south america is the move traditionally like if it's good enough for the nazis it's good enough for me you know oh yeah yeah yeah follow the nazis you can run away from war over there follow the march to yeah america but my buddy basically argentinians he's like south korea is like the japanese but more fun they party more they drink more they're a little more loose much differently it's mapped out than north korea yeah i mean look at all these roads here and stuff yeah north korea doesn't got a lot going on wow no it's not the not the hottest spot wow i mean it's the whole network of roads and this is just like a couple i guess they just don't have the map for it yeah korea would be cool yeah korea i think that's probably next because then i can kind of do both um you can do both what and then hop over to japan or stop in japan in your way or one of the other there's a ferry that goes from korea to japan and then it goes to japan and then from osaka to korea but you can it's like a hundred bucks or something you get like a full like room and all this stuff and it's super nice and you go right from osaka to south korea and you and you just uh you can i think i think it stops in busan and you can go from busan up to seoul so that's what i would want to do how much russia goes up over the top and then down all the way to there yeah they want that's russia they wanted the water they wanted the water yeah that's smart yeah oh yeah there's some country like bosnia or something and bosnia is like encased by like serbia or something someone is like around them and make sure that they don't go to the water russia damn oh really yeah yeah yeah there's one that has like a little tip it's just like just one little and all they have is like that much on on the water and then it's like gotta go inland and then it becomes big i don't know what's next for you well you told me on that big trip gonna go big backpacking trip to see a bunch of new countries but what's always calls me lately is is morocco it's kind of fading in my mind right now but for a while i was so set on going i never went japan is a big one dude go i don't care as much about india never called me russia doesn't call me at all india it's like okay people that have gone like you got i'm like it's just not calling me yeah japan tokyo specifically but now you've made me think maybe some of these other places yeah yeah yeah but if there's ever been a time to go it's now it's cheap dude yeah all right on thank you all your bumpers and dates and stuff when i when i air this but uh yeah thanks buddy i'm glad we can do it sorry i fucking gave you the run around a thousand times so irresponsible it was one of the two of us like hey are we doing it tomorrow you're like oh you didn't follow up i'm like no i didn't and then you're like are we going tomorrow like oh fuck no i'm out of town dude no it's all good man we got it done we got it done that was great yeah yeah thank you buddy yeah thank you right on the money no problem dude the guests bringing a fucking souvenir for me oh that's the episode everybody i hope you enjoyed it japan has to be on the top of my list of places i want to go i am um i mean what do we got japan morocco some other places and i could tell you about but no i mean that's it japan morocco mongolia no those aren't even as big as japan and morocco i mean it's got to be japan and i've been putting it out for so long i mean it's cool it was cool just getting a chance to hear about it from uh from che i am uh right now i am in um it's actually a good travel tip i'm on one of the most popular beaches in brazil and it's empty because not every day is uh sunshine and uh blue skies not every day is blue skies but just behind those clouds guess what there is blue skies as far as the eye can see um it's kind of a lesson on what you do on uh on days that are not ideal so today i'm gonna i got my fucking knee is fucked so i'm gonna go to the doctor i'm gonna um nice lady i love these photo shoots um you know what i like about brazil confident fans fat chicks you don't really see it anywhere else super confident fat chicks they're they're i mean listen they tried in america to sell the idea that are like big and beautiful but even lizard didn't believe it even lizard didn't believe it even the other chick from england didn't believe it england by the way it's just america light you know you're in our shadow um yeah because as soon as they got the chance to go on olympic they did they wouldn't go no i'm fine the way i am judy gold had a great bit a long time ago uh she had a deviated septum and they go hey we can give you a nose job may as well it's free while we're getting their septum fixed and she goes no i like my nose like no no we can fix it and she goes no i like my fucking nose and they go no no you don't understand it won't be extra charge we can just take your nose down she goes leave my fucking nose alone that's someone who doesn't have a problem with the big fucking jew honker all those fucking bitches who claimed that they were like no i'm fucking hot yeah then why are you getting on olympic is it for the diabetes no it's because you know yeah listen you were working it fine but also it'd be nice to be a little thinner um not here in brazil here in brazil like no no i like what i got i like it i was talking to monroe martin once um by the way happy black history month black remembrance month no that means they're all gone holocaust remembrance because they're gone black history and i had a black comic on by the way had a black comic on for martin luther king day female though sorry martin luther king i know you hated women and uh started off february with the black comic guess what fucking woke bro um yeah monroe martin and i were looking at some chick and he was like do you like that and i was like uh no do you and he goes yeah we have a different taste here's my point black men love fat chicks um anyway the point is not every day is fucking sunshine you guys you get out there and do your own thing don't okay let me give it up for chayder rain you guys at this point this in the in the podcast you should be going out and uh watching a special hot chocolate on youtube.com slash at chayder reina right now um it is peaceful out here this is honestly one of the most popular beaches in brazil let me walk with you and just fucking chill you i guess you don't have to see me at chayder reina um oh they're gonna set up fucking soccer i should do one next week i should do one next week with just um those are all fucking those are the best ones that's when marie works she'll get you a nice chair and table 10 for a tear uh 20 for an umbrella 30 total that's about divided by five i don't know um that's a nice place to watch a sunset live music right there um what was i gonna say at chayder rain on youtube.com youtube.com slash at chayder and hot chocolate youtube guys there's a bunch of really talented young comedians that are like taking over the scene and chay is one of them um che guevara do you know where chay comes from word che for chay che guevara i learned it in argentina it's because they put fucking put chay in everything yerba is cheruba uh harry of our heart chevar so they were like that's fucking dumb you guys are dumb to do that uh we're gonna make fun of you by calling you che yeah it was mockery they mocked him and now we mock him by uh making t-shirts with his likeness in indonesian sweat farms that america has dominated um i don't know into accepting our colonization. We either get you with politics or we get you with capitalism. But either way, we're going to get you. Che Guevara is one of the, Che Duran is one of the talented, young, up-and-coming comics, and it's really fucking nice to see on the comedy scene now that it keeps redoing. When I started as a comedian, me, Renizzisi, Bobby Lee had just finished becoming an employee, O'Neill, all these guys, he was right after me. But all these guys were just really funny. We're like, we want our due. And the old guys were cool about it, giving way. Dom Herrera, getting to know my name. I was like, what, you know my name? How? Cool guy. Just a cool guy. And now it's like a new crop, and they just keep coming all the time. Stand-up comedy is fucking killer that way. Anyway, Che Duran is one of the better ones. And it's cool. It's cool to see this new crop of comics. So check him out. You can check him out on Instagram as well, at Che Duran. And he puts up content all the time. It's really funny. You guys check him out. He's got one fucking show on the radar. Che, get out on the road better. In Phoenix at Stand-Up Live, February 19th. Go to cheduran.com for tickets. And that's it, you guys. I am taking a sick day. Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening to this. like a comedy trip, to pay for it and get a. But honestly, what do we even need? Let's just go. Nah, let's do comedy. Um, yeah, next week, Denmark, that's it. Please subscribe to the YouTube account @ubichippinpod or the Instagram account @ubichippinpod as well. I've talked to Caitlin, and if you put up your stickers, she's gonna go look for all the people who, um, post their stickers. Let's say it was, like, uh, it was, like, right here. Let's say there was a post right here. You put your sticker here, take a video of the picture, the sticker, and then look at the fucking, you know, area. You know, like, go close, it'll say "sticker" right there. You know, whoa, a ghoul finger. And then back up, and then, like, see the whole thing. My friend John just did one of the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. She's gonna fucking post that. Caitlin, anyone who does that. Or a picture, you know? Picture here, picture there, like that. Um. Okay, that's it, everybody, till next week. I'm R.S. Jaffier. Said so long. Now I gotta do ads. Oh, oh, one good thing about having a fucking sick day, having a fucking rain day, you can take care of shit. That's what I was gonna tell you. You can take care of shit. I can go to the doctor, take care of that. It is right by the, uh, team store of the local team. Uh, you cannot make a purchase for soccer tickets with an American credit card. You can get picks, but you can't really register for picks with. an American credit card, so the only way to do it is go to the stadium or go to the team store. Team store is right by the doctor. So I'll go two for one so I can get tickets. And what else do you do? You catch up on bumpers for your podcast. Uh, and I'm gonna do two ads. Ads can't be in a place like this. I gotta read 'em. So guess what? Look at the positives. That's my whole special, America's Sweetheart, available on Netflix right now. Have you seen it yet? Um, that's my whole special. Focus on the positives. I'm gonna come back to this beach in next week's Outro Bumper, and I'm gonna show you what this beach is like, uh, for the Ian Sterling podcast when it's fuckin' live, and you'll see the difference. Um. Go to the team store, get tickets for a soccer game. That'll be cool. And then I'm gonna fuckin' do, uh, get a private tonight. I have to do these two ads for Cash App and for, uh, what's the other one? The health thing. Um. Then I can justify getting myself a private at the hostel, 'cause I can't do it at a fuckin' dorm. Yeah, it's my way of saying, like, "No, I need-- I need the quiet." So, yeah, it ends up being a great day. Yeah, it's not blue skies, but, guys, blue skies on the inside. I'm Ari Shaffir, saying, "Obrigado." No, no, wait, wait, wait. How do you say, uh, "Sayonara"? Wait. That might actually be it. I think I might have guessed it. I think I might have guessed one. "Sayonara." That's Japanese, right? All right. Bye. Tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college. That's why she shops at BJ's Wholesale Club, saving up to 25% off grocery store prices. Beef jerky, microwave meals, laundry pods, even they can't screw up. Have you met my kids? And with BJ's gas, she gets there for less. They call me the road warrior. This is your home, road warrior mom. Home of the save. Join for just $20 at bjs.com/mesquite, and save 10 cents per kilo. Open your gallon for six months, open soon. Limited time offer, new members only. BJ's, home of the save.