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Jameela Jamil & The All Purple Event

1h 15m 33s

Jameela Jamil & The All Purple Event

We welcome actress Jameela Jamil (The Good Place) to TigerBelly, and James Blake snickers in the back. We chat the day Prince called Jameela, British heart, Ted Danson sleepover, omelette roulette, photographic memory, no reverse cowgirl, Harold & Kumar 4.  Go to www.kachava.com and use code BELLY for 15% off your next order. Guys, this isn’t just about performance, this is about legacy or third LEG-acy. Give her group chat something to talk about. You know when you lay it down, they’re talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little BlueChew. Discover your options at www.bluechew.com  Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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13806 Words, 69918 Characters

Hey everybody, Bobby Lee here, and I'm very excited because I'm shooting my first special for Hulu. And it's going to be at San Diego, California, January 16th, 2026, January 17th, 2026. And it's at the San Diego Balboa Theater, and the tickets are on sale now, and come check it out. I would love to see you there, and I'm super excited. And we're all going to be there. We're all going to be there. Support Papa. Papa. Tito Bobby. Yeehaw! You've never done that before. Never. You've never done it? Yeah. Because you know that it is. We're all trying to play it cool. Everyone play it cool, please. I was just wondering if I played stupid. Who am I playing? I wish he could hear this music you're playing. Jamila, Jamil, she's from a faraway place called England. England. That's where Harry Potter lives. That's where. The Queen is. The Queen is. Was. Was. The Queen was. Was. That's where the Queen was. That's where Wayne Rooney is. Right? Yeah. And Gary Neville. Wow. Wow. And Sir Alex Ferguson. How is it? Paul Scholes. Right? Right? Paul Scholes? Yes. Ryan Giggs. Right? And David Beckham. But David Beckham. Fuck David Beckham. Whoa. No, he's very good. Shots fired. Very good. But you know what? Arsenal is still the best team in England. Arsenal, number one. What about Simon? Simon who? Kyle. Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell. Right, right. Very good. Simon Cowell, right? Can you be a bit louder just because I want to hear Bobby's beautiful piano playing? How is it playing the piano in front of James? Well, you know. It's, you know, intimidating, but, you know, I'm not afraid, right? I don't live in the fear, you know what I mean? But Bobby just met my boyfriend. Yeah, well, give Jameela a round of applause. I have a boyfriend, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just got a boyfriend, I'm dating somebody. So he found out that my boyfriend is James Blake, who's sitting in the corner, and he had a fucking nervous breakdown, didn't you? A little nervy being. Oh, no. Well, it's just like, you know, I did have a liver, it was, you know, a liver breakdown. Did you say liver breakdown? Yeah, yeah, yeah, my liver broke down, my liver broke down. I've never seen you shy or thrown ever before that moment. Yeah, because I'll tell you why, it's like running into, like, you know, a mythological character, you know what I mean, from your dreams, you know? Because, you know, you listen to the music, you go, I'm never going to meet that person. You know what I mean? Like, I'm never going to meet Genghis Khan. Yeah, yeah, it's like running into Genghis Khan. Just James and Genghis Khan. Or, you know, or, you know, anyone from history or, you know, you never. I think. But it's like, I wish I would have known. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. I wish I was just like, oh, he's just an English bloke. What is a bloke? A bloke is a man. What's an English bloke? It's a man about town. Oh, it is. What's a hooligan? A hooligan is a troublemaking man about the dark side of town, the wrong side of town. Well, you're not a hooligan, are you? Not, no. No, no, no. No. I can't do your accent, sorry. Go ahead, please. Have you ever done an Asian accent? No, I just, the only thing I remember is Theo Vaughn going, Bobby. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. I mean, do you, you're Pakistani. Yeah. What a beautiful place. Pakistani and Indian, both. Oh, you're a combo. Yes. I'm Japanese and Korean. Oh, congratulations. I'm kidding, I'm not. You are. You are technically DNA. You did your 23andMe. All Koreans have a little Japanese and a little Japanese have a little Korean. Well, it's the same thing with Pakistan and India. I mean, it's not a real. It's not a real divide. No. The same people, kind of. Yeah. I think the Japanese and Korean are the same people. Yeah, but I heard, I learned something really interesting about Hangul, your written language yesterday. Hangul. Do you just Google his culture? So nice. No, because my little, my goddaughter, she was like, oh, do you speak Korean? I'm like, no, I don't. She assumed it because we, you know, we dated for so long. And apparently it's a really good thing. It's a really effective and easy to learn language because of the written language. It was, it was engineered. Like geniuses. Yes. To be learned quickly and effectively as opposed to like Chinese where you have like a million characters, right? Too many characters. Yeah. There's billions of them. Yes. Chinese. Chinese. Yeah. Yes. Yes. And I love the people Chinese, but, but, but every time someone cuts in line, it's a Chinese person. And I don't know what that's about. Speed. They're fast. They're fast, but do they not know the rules? Maybe it's a stereotype. I'm sorry. I mean, but I'm at a Jamba Juice. I mean, and then they, they, they always go, oh, what, what's going on around here? Right. Anyway, we. Yeah. But other than that, I mean, I love that, you know, I love the food. What do you think is an act? They know what they're doing. I think they know what they're doing. It's. It's, you know, but anyway, let's move on from it because it seems uncomfortable for me. For you? You've been talking about it. Yeah. Have a little sip of my beverage. Yeah. Have a beverage. I have a question for you. Well, we're not. We're not. We're not there yet. Oh. Can I just. Can I. Okay. Well, this is my head already. I understand that. But can you write it down on your notebook? I did. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I started at the airport. That's why. Yeah. I mean, you know, you landed and then you started writing notes. Yeah. I was like, why? Why what? Well, it's a question, but. That's your question? No, no. Why? But I'm going to tell you the question later. Why am I here? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Go ahead. Do you want me to go? Can I just say something? Right. I mean, you know, if this is the Enterprise. Okay. Star Trek. I'll be. Well, I just feel like am I not James Kirk? He's Kirk. Yeah. Am I not or no? Are you? No, I'm not. Yeah. What are you? Um, the guy with the shit on the head. Oh, you're Worf. Worf. You're a Klingon? Yeah. I don't think so. No. You're an engineering dude. James Wong. No, not James Wong. What's that guy's? George Takai? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's his name? No, it's Sulu. Sulu. Let's move on from it. I think we're confusing our cast. Okay. You're adorable. He is adorable. He's never read a book. Yes, I have. What book? The Bible. The Bible. I want one. Have you read the Bible? Uh, yeah. Yeah. What's it like? I never read it. Fascinating. And really, really hyper-realistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What starts off with the Genesis? 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can you explain? Adam and Eve in particular. Great. Oh, that's the opening. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you explain it to me? Because I don't, I've never even, I don't know anything about it. No, I can't. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, let me just see if I can explain. Okay. In the beginning, God made man. He made, in seven days, Earth, the atmosphere, the universe. Well, did he do the universe first, right? Yes. Because there's like billions of planets, right? Yes. So he made every billion planet, right? Yes. And then he made Earth. Then he made atmosphere, Earth, sand, the trees and all that stuff, right? And then the Kardashians. The Kardashians. But that came later. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That came after the snake. That was day eight. The Kardashian line was day eight. Yes. Wow, I did not know that. So write that down. The Kardashian, you're right. The Jenner's? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then he made Adam and Eve. What color were they? They were definitely white. Everyone was white. Oh, I see. Everybody. But then he created the sun and made us dark. No. Not in the book. He creates the sun and it just bounces off everyone in the Bible. Oh, really? And they're all super white. Yeah. Yeah. But then. Through Adam and Eve, civilization started. Yes. We're all. So we're all. Adam needed someone to give him a blowjob. So he took out his rib. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Which I think is what Prince was originally trying to do. Really? Yeah. I did not know that. And then he grew a woman out of a rib. Yeah. And then he got sucked off and then banished, I think. Whoa. Yeah. Because she forced him to eat the apple because he had got no agency of his own. Great. Oh, wow. Adam's a little bitch. I did not know about that. I knew about. Oh, but all that stuff. I didn't know about that. Yeah. And then what happened was their offspring eventually went to other lands. Mm-hmm. So like. Where they remained white. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then how did we. White Africans. How did we. White Middle Easterns. It's amazing. Uh-oh. So how did you become a Pakistani then? This is all makeup. She's a white woman. That's a white woman. Oh, you're a white woman. I've been playing the D.C. Yeah. I'm white too. I have jaundice. Yeah. Yeah. That's why. That's why the yellow. yeah I'm a sick white guy people don't know that but like so eventually you know they drifted apart and they go okay bye you're gonna be one day Chinese and then one day you're gonna be black and then they all one day Chinese one day Chinese they created a character and the accent then yeah yeah and then wow and so that's how it that's how we all got here today I did not know that and where when did Noah's Ark come into play tell me about Noah's Ark I don't fucking know give a shit oh okay what religion are you then I'm sadly atheist me too kinda me too yeah we're all kinda yeah how about you Haim agnostic that's fair maybe I'm a bit more more agnostic not because you're adorable but also just because there could be something maybe yes right yeah something has to be responsible for my breasts yeah no I'm joking okay you didn't have to look she was just saying what no I said no I set him up yeah I mean I don't I didn't look at her I looked at her jacket I'll look at your balls real quick they're extra wrinkly and it means they're wise they're wise they're very wise because all girls say have you seen my you've seen my nutsack I would hope so yeah all girls have said it's extra wrinkly and I make them laugh by saying it's because they're wise but then I think to myself why are they wrinkly no but you know what actually I can sort of relate not to my balls but James' balls but you know how you've got James is your balls extra wrinkly they're lovely they're lovely I bet they are perfect smooth probably so but you have no lines listen to his voice you have no lines anywhere on your face and so all of the lines on your face went to your face my eyes they're his painting in the basement Dorian Gray mine is I have a very old ass so the rest of me I'm 40 in like a few months I've never had Botox filler I look young because I have a devastatingly old man's ass and that's why James' songs are really so yeah but let me ask you something about your ass okay right you look at it and what makes it old the shape the texture the wisdom the texture is it flat or yeah I'm Asian yeah I know you know it's just it is what it is I prefer flat asses do you to be honest with you yeah he's always said that actually I like bony I like bony flat asses lovely mine is sort of it's sort of flat but also kind of it's it's present at the sides of my hips as if it's sort of nosy like it doesn't want to stay at the back and not be involved it kind of comes around the side to see what's going on do you know what I mean like yeah yeah that's my ass whoa it's sort of like James Bond yeah your ass whoa it's like it's yeah it's like an Ethan Hunt-y kind of an ass you know what I mean I like it my publicist is just pulled out from behind the camera he's like not the asshole bit not the asshole bit we talked about this I haven't yet brought up my leathery bagel just the outside what's the bagel part the butthole the asshole oh yeah yeah yours became super leathery since Ozempic how do you know oh we all unfortunately know we had to do a test we had to do a test we took a photo we took a photo Alex took a photo Bobby insisted we take a photo so we could do a before and after well because it shrivels the labia as well doesn't it so does it also go after the hole yeah the calamari I call it the calamari has it changed has it changed color yes the oh what color extra purple it's like Barney's butthole amazing yeah you know Barney yes yeah a dark purple yeah it's a sad purple you know what I mean it's sort of like Prince's butthole you know I mean he loves purple oh he does love purple yeah yeah yeah purple rain purple rain you know one time he Prince called up my manager and said he wanted to meet me no in my 20s yeah wow he said he'd been watching YouTube videos of me all day red flag okay that's a red flag that's a red flag he wanted to meet me and so my manager called me and she was like are you a fan of Prince and I was like not really um and she said well I am and I really want tickets to his can you please so you never met him can you please meet him he wants to call you wow I was like okay when's he gonna call me and she was like apparently tomorrow 11pm so I get an email that night just being like no a text message that night being like Prince is gonna call you tomorrow at 11pm and then the following morning 9am I get an email saying Prince is gonna call you tonight 11pm and I was like yep no I got it yesterday 12pm Prince is gonna call you wow 1pm wow 1pm 7pm and then 1045 that like Prince is gonna call you in 15 minutes he's gonna email you first and at 1059 I get an email that just says it's me dot dot dot from Prince and then he phones me and we have this deranged phone conversation where he tells me he's been watching me again all day and that and then pivots the conversation like he's really strange like speaks in a very high voice he will not let me swear every time I swear he tells me that it makes the paint peel off the walls and then he and then he asks me to bear with me because I didn't expect to tell the story so then he asks me to he starts saying to me that you know like I really want to play Alexandra Palace which is a very iconic venue for like 10 to 15,000 people in England and I was like I think you would be great for Alexandra Palace how old are you how old are you I'm 26 okay at the time and he's like and I want everyone to be wearing purple and I was like sounds cool and he's like and I want everyone backstage to be women and I was like empowering and then he says I want them all to be dancers and I want them all to be wearing roller skates and I was like this sounds like a great day man yeah yeah I hope that that happens he was like great so if you could arrange that for me I'd really appreciate it you can't tell the venue it's me goodbye I'll call you tomorrow and see your progress and hangs up no and so over the course of a 15 to 20 minute phone call I become an event planner I've never even had a birthday party like I can't organize a piss up in a brewery did you panic yeah of course I fucking panic yeah yeah yeah and then he's like calling me every day for progress like I can't tell call up Alexandra Palace I'm 26 this is real 100% wow so I so then he proceeds to kind of harass me for the next like next month almost like trying to get me to organize this huge gig and I don't know how to do it and also you can't book Alexandra Palace with like two weeks notice and not tell them who it's for oh wow and so at that time he was a symbol right yeah of course exactly so I was like how do I even describe describe this on the fucking phone and then eventually kind of you know the phone calls turned from event planning into friendship and then friendship into flirting I did not flirt back oh so you didn't find him attractive no yeah yeah yeah no no no he's little he's a little man I don't mind a little man yeah yeah yeah okay but what was it that you didn't find attractive his hair I think it was his whole his whole vibe really and also very entitled calling me up on the first date and asking me to organize a 14,000 person all purple event and he's he's much older he's a time fighter you know so I wasn't interested I wasn't interested in him and I had a boyfriend at the time sure so yeah he just fizzled away it's well yeah well no it ended angrily from from him Jesus Jesus Christ did he do that or did you yeah yeah he but he what's he pointing to well he eventually got angry with me because I didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with him because I was with my boyfriend and he said well why did you put an X at the end of all your text messages and I was like that's just what English people do to show that we're not angry with each other so then we had a falling out and then we did so you never physically met him definitely no no no no I did but I just didn't want to spend Valentine's Day oh I see out of touch completely out of touch well now he's dead so we're very out I killed him wow Kachava Kachava Kachava dude last night I was like I came home from the road and I was like you know what I want to I need I'm hungry uh huh okay and you know my body you know knows when it's getting good nutrients nutrients right and so I went and got the strawberry Kachava woo all you do is two scoops glass of water stir it you drink it and I'll tell you why I like this more than any other thing it tastes so good they're all all of them all of them do all the flavors support all the energy with five key vitamins and minerals digestion you like digestion yep keep things regular with fiber probiotics and enzymes who loves enzymes I do me nurtures you do me do me do too nurture a healthy metabolism with B vitamins minerals and fiber who likes metabolizing me I know you do dude right nurture immune system with vitamin C zinc and probiotics right who likes zinc zinc I love zinc I love zinc too every day yeah 25 grams of 100% 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Six indulgent flavors Tell me about the flavors Chocolate Vanilla Chai Matcha Coconut acai And strawberry What's your favorite? The coconut acai for me Because you know I'm an island gal But if you were to go up To Bobby's pantry right now And open it up Half of that thing Is just cachava Oh wow I'm not lying And my mom You know my mom's Like a super health freak She steals it from me Is that where she got Introduced to it? I think she stole it from me Because she's always like Cachava darling Cachava And I was like How do you know about cachava? 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She's like my number She's like top tier to me I don't know I don't know I don't know That's her vagina If Angelica If Angelica Houston called me I probably would do it She's incredible Are you fucking crazy? You would be so So lucky to even Be considered What do you mean? Consider what? Be considered What are you talking about? To be her concubine? No I mean Even if she were to Look your direction You should feel so glad Okay you're Angelica No you play Angelica You play Angelica Houston Wait who is that? Okay What are you doing? She's trying to keep The momentum going I guess All right So we're at Yeah yeah That's Angelica Houston Old school Yeah oh that's old school You ever watch like The old school Adam's Castle? Wait wait We're not in the scene yet We're not in the scene yet I've been fucking ready man It's really good dude Jimmy that's really good Thank you All right so Wait before you get started Yeah yeah yeah So who did she play? Morticia Adams In the old one? In the old one Yeah yeah The movies or? Uh huh Did you ever see Adam's Family? Yes Is this your first day outside? I wish it was It always seems like it No The Royal Tenenbaums You ever see that? Royal Tenenbaums She's in a lot of John Wick John Wick Oh she's in John Wick Yeah You've seen Royal Tenenbaums? Okay Oh okay okay okay No okay Okay okay Oh you wanna eat that? Oh my god You're ruining everything Let's go back to Okay okay my bad my bad You know what he said to me When I came in here today? What did he say? What did I say? What did he say when he No don't bring it up You gotta do it Don't bring it up Just give the energy You don't have to say the exact He goes last night I hit that back Oh no Why do you talk like that? No I don't He's one of those guys Cause he rarely gets laid He rarely gets laid Right? He's gonna be innocent And people that rarely get laid When they get laid They always say shit like that Just to let us know That something happened Oh And it's gross Right? And I had to even explain to him Cause I've never even heard that I was joking No And then you showed me a photo Okay Did you not show me a photo? No I did not I hit that back I hit that back Uh uh Yeah yeah yeah I don't know He's a comedian Yeah yeah yeah He's a comic It's so gross No I didn't It's so gross No I didn't Yeah yeah yeah I was just joking So you swore to God You didn't hit that back last night? We're guys We joke like that Oh locker room talk Yeah man Yeah yeah yeah Not from the ladies Okay What? Man Did he show you a picture of her ass? No no no Yeah No he didn't How was it? Yeah Then he did a thing Did he not at the table? No Yeah he did You act out how you hit it from the back No No Bobby Bobby It was higher He went higher Yeah he went higher Yeah yeah No I didn't I absolutely I feel I've never been more convinced of anything more than I am Thank you That you did that Yeah Yeah Anyway so um That was an And you know what? High five man It was high five Sorry James Yeah For what? Yeah yeah This is locker room talk Yeah yeah It's locker room talk I don't like it Yeah yeah yeah Apologize to James Anyway um Jesus Yeah Jesus Christ We talked about the Bible Yeah man Alright enough Alright but congratulations It was a joke man Yeah I think it happened No I didn't When you're just saying it privately Let's move on but let's When you're saying it privately to me Right When you know It's for the world It's for the world It really is Unfortunately We've learned the hard way Yeah Well she's a fan of the podcast so Okay Oh well Okay that's great Listen and she's like Hey that Lines up He told us That you are amazing in bed Wow Yeah yeah yeah Wow Yeah And very beautiful Yeah With perfect ass Yeah You're a very positive person Huh? Are you a positive person? That's the first time anyone's ever said that You're not positive? James am I positive? There we go Yeah yeah So do you wake up Because today I woke up You know sometimes I wake up And I'm just like I was excited that you were coming Aw Yeah but You know I just done the road And I you know Came in last night late Yeah And I Felt like kind of Sometimes I just kind of wake up A little depressed Do you get wake up depressed? No Okay You never get depressed I don't get depressed I wake up anxious In fact I woke up really anxious today And I had to take a little pill Because I was so excited to see you Oh Anxiety Yeah Yeah What are you anxious about? I don't know I was just nervous I wanted you to like me Yeah yeah But I didn't give a shit About what you two thought I just Yeah But I've always been aware of you I've always liked you Aw I've always liked you too Yeah yeah In fact when we When you gave me the guest list Of like who do we get I go I want her Aw thank you Yeah so it's like Yeah Wow so you wake up anxious I wake up anxious sometimes Yeah Yeah when you were shooting The Good Place We were anxious Fucking terrified Yeah Terrified every day Every moment I get nervous I still get scared Thinking back on it Well didn't you test for that show? I did You did right? Yeah Did you? For who? Yeah he did I don't remember But It was for Get it Um no no no Was it Giannu the monk? Uh No it wasn't Did I racially profile him? I didn't get it You were Manny Jacinto Okay It was you or Manny Come on let's move on I didn't get it He didn't get it I test a lot I don't get it But that was one of his bigger Heartbreaks at that time Aw I was heartbroken Yeah Yeah I mean it wasn't You weren't going for Kristen Bell I was probably the Were you going for my role? No no no What about that guy? Manny So it was for Manny Yeah that's what I mean Giannu Maybe But um I didn't get it He's much more handsome Probably more talented Manny is a cutie He is a cutie Yeah he is He's a very handsome man Cause I've been on sitcoms before American sitcoms And they're um It's a stressful of it Yes Table reads were always Because you would always hear stories about People get fired at the table read People get fired So I went to the costume department Before our first table read Cause I'd only just done all of the auditions And so you know We hadn't started shooting yet There was still a chance That I could be fired If I fuck up the table read So I went to the costume department Everyone else shows up In like jeans and t-shirts I showed up in my gown From episode one With a big floral hat And a basket Wow And came in in character I've never acted before By the way at this point The audition was my first ever time acting Oh my god Wow Sorry to rub it in Yeah But um Quite a bit So I was so inexperienced That I was like I have to throw everything at this Otherwise I'm not going to be able to do it I'm toast And I think that's the only reason I kept my job that day Oh so you miser tech You went like method on it I fully Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Wow So when you're sitting there At the table read Especially you're I mean you're with a legend Ted Danson Yeah Right Who I've heard I've never met him before I heard he's a really nice guy Amazing man Yeah yeah yeah An amazing guy Which is lucky To be in that situation 100% And he really took me under his wing And like taught me how to act And taught me how to Stand in front of the camera Taught me what a mark is Just like everything I know I i owe to him so if you think i'm shit that is ted's fault yeah yeah Did you ever, like. Get anxious meeting him? Yeah, petrified. You just finish it. Did you ever get anxious meeting him? Do you want to be the captain? No, but. No, no, you want to fly the ship? It's a mutiny. Yeah, yeah. No. That was wild. Really good timing. I think everybody wakes up anxious. I had to stress eat, and I stress ate so much on the season one that I gained a dress size and a half and looked sort of quite similar to Pablo Escobar by the end. So it wasn't clear if it was Narcos or The Good Place, and it was great. And they had to leave my costume open at the back, so they couldn't get images of me running from the back. You know, when things start to heat up at the end of season one, they'd normally have to get me from the front because everything was open at the back, so I'd hulked out of all of my costumes. It was fantastic. Well, craft service and stuff. Yeah, exactly. Craft service ruined, you know, my life. It was great, but it was very distracting, and I developed pre-diabetes, I think. When you go to craft service, what do you eat? Everything. Everything I can find. Yeah, I like. And I took Tupperware with me, so I could bring it back home, and then I would fill our larder at home with it. That's very Filipino-coded, because we don't go anywhere without Tupperware in our purse, just in case. I take sandwich bags sometimes to parties. Yeah, same, same. But he's so anti-leftovers. He has his whole philosophy around they shouldn't exist. Or like them. I knew it. Yeah, we're so much alike. We look alike. We act alike. I'm confused right now. Yeah, yeah. I mean, checkmark, you know? If he sees you taking leftovers, he will peel, like, fight it off your hands. Why? And, like, want to throw it in the trash. Is it because it gains bacteria overnight, or are you just a decadent bitch? You're a decadent bitch. I have specific things. Like, you know, for instance, if I'm usually, if I'm in a group, you know, I pay. And then when the. The group goes, like, let's say Jaime's, I'm having dinner with him, and I'm paying, right? And Jaime goes, can I have mine wrapped up? I always go, no, no, no, no. Why? Because it's mine. I pay for it. Don't you get it? It is. You just gave me a dramatic flashback. Honestly, what is so confusing about that? How do you not know that it's mine? You're a mom. I pay. You pay for it. Ask me, and I may allow you to grab it, take it home. It's so rude, people. You would hate me. You'd hate me. Well, ask me, I would let you do it. Oh, thank you. So we're having dinner. Go ahead. Please, can I have some. Please, can I have some takeover sandwich? What is. Please, sir, please. Oh, the little. Yeah, you can take the sandwich home. Thank you very much. And that's fine. But if you just assume, like, Hey, just, you know, that's all I'm saying. I am, but you just, you resurfaced a memory that I'd suppressed up until now, which is my 29th birthday. I'd just moved to Los Angeles. Very briefly, I got to know Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann. I love Judd. They were very, very kind to me. He's been here. Yeah, they were very kind to me. No need to brag, Bobby. We're all friends here. But back to my story. That was me smacking the ass. I smacked the ass just now. Sorry, my bad. So they take me out. To dinner, because they know I don't know anyone, and I've just gotten there, and I'm all by myself. And so Leslie's like, oh, come out to dinner with us. You know, we're going out for dinner with our friend Kate Upton, the, like, Victoria's Secret model. I did a movie with her. Sports illustrator. Slap the ass. Well done. So then, I'm at this point very poor. Don't have a job. Don't have a visa. Don't have any friends. This is pre-The Good Place. Pre-The Good Place, yeah. And I'm just figuring it out in America by myself. Don't know anyone. Totally lost. And I. But people know who you are because of your. Well, how the fuck do you get to eat with Judd Apatow? I met Leslie Mann at a party, and she just thought I was a vibe. And then just. How do you go to a party with Leslie Mann in it? We were at the same bar, and then we ended up getting chatting at the bar. I hate people like you. You know, people that just kind of show up, and people just kind of grab. I've had to, like. Hey, would you like The Good Place? Yeah. I've had to, like, kill. I would have to kill. He'd had to. Yeah, why are you doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd have to. And then do great comedy for them to. Anyway, let's move on. I'm sorry. Congratulations. Go ahead, Leslie Mann. Leslie Mann. No, well, just. It's not a great story. It's just the fact that at the end of the meal, everyone. No one eats in Hollywood, so they'd all left most of their meals, and it was the best. It was like Boa or something. It was like some of the best burgers and steak I'd ever had. So I was like, fuck this. We can't just leave this. So I asked the lady who was coming to pick up all of our plates. I was like, can I get mine to go? And everyone else. Everyone else's. And it's a table of only four people, so everyone heard me say it, and I took everyone's leftovers home with me, but not even home, because then Leslie's like, we're going out dancing now, and now I have a bag this big of everyone else's leftovers that I'm going to eat. Things that their mouths have touched, like burgers, you know what I mean? It's like I'm kissing them. Yeah, yeah. And so I'm so scared someone's going to steal my leftover bag that I keep my leftover bag on the dance floor, and I'm there like side-stressing, dancing. On my birthday with Kate Upton, like one of the sexiest women in the world, and everyone can just smell like salmon, burger. I'm meeting up the entire dance floor. People are moving further and further away. I've got truffle fries in my bag. It was a really strange day, and then they didn't want to hang out again. Let me ask you something. That kind of made me mad. I knew it would. Yeah, yeah. So can we just dive into it a little bit? Sure. Is it because you didn't have. Money growing up. Money. Money. Wait, did you have money at the time? No. No money? No money, no. Okay. I'd burned through all of my money. I had $17 left in my bank account. And you were staying at a hotel, or you were at an apartment here in LA? I was staying with a friend. You were staying with a friend? Yeah. Well, not a friend, but like a lovely lady who had let me live in her flat. Right, so the food that you have, after the fucking club that you went to, you put the food in the refrigerator, and during the week you ate it. Yes. I'm known for this. You still do it now. Yeah. I would say that's just meal prepping. Thank you. Yeah, for your week. I've always thought you'd get me. Yeah, I do. I fully understand that. All right. I just. At least in my culture, there's a shame in not bringing home. I agree. I think that being wasteful is like, in my culture, like the biggest no-no. The greatest shame. Yeah. Okay, I think you're right. Let me change my way. I think you're right. Yes. What? I remember at Mel's diner, you didn't let me take my omelette home. Oh, no. And I've been sensing a tension between us ever since. Wait, wait. First of all, I didn't? Yeah, I was like, can I take this to go? He's like, no. Let's go. Remember, it was you and me, Andrea. Take an omelette home? You can't take omelettes home. Yes, you can. No, you can't. It's a microwave. No, that's actually. That is Russian roulette for your asshole. You should never microwave eggs. Yeah. Why? It's Russian roulette for your asshole. Yeah. It's really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You never saw Deer Hunter? No. The omelette? The omelette going, you know what I mean? Oh, no. It's explosive diarrhea. Salmonella. No wonder. Yeah. You saved your life. I saved your life, dude. I saved your fucking life. Thank him. Yeah, yeah, write down. You should thank him. Don't microwave eggs. Deer Hunter. Thank you. Do you get diarrhea easy? Jamila, do you get diarrhea easy? No, no. But you've had it before. A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's always not a good day. No. But a fun icebreaker for a chat, no? Yeah. No, I mean, you know, I just get it often. Are you flirting with me? In front of James? How dare you? In front of James, you know. Hey, Jamila, do you get diarrhea? Yeah. Yeah. That's not an appropriate question. I think it's fine. I talk about diarrhea all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to know your. Listen, I want to dive in. We've spoken about diarrhea so much on my podcast that we've actually had to send out a brief asking people to stop talking to us about diarrhea on the podcast. Well, how many episodes have you done in your pod? I think we're at like three months or four months now. Wow. So we do it weekly. It's very fun. You do it in England? We do it all over the world. So I recorded lots of it in Los Angeles, then New York, and now I'm recording in London. Oh, wow. I'd love you guys to come on at some point. Oh, we'd love to do it. We'd love to do it. But yeah, it's just a foul. It's a foul ratchet time. What's it called? It's called Wrong Turns with Jameela Jamil. Wow. And it's a comedy disaster podcast that is specifically anti-inspiration. It's anti-inspiration, pro-commiseration. I'm sick of having a silver lining shoved up my ass every time something goes wrong. So I just want to be able to sit in the shit and not have like a wonderful, you know, great pearl of wisdom gained from everything. Because who the fuck gains wisdom every time something goes wrong? I'm sick of it. So I decided to create a podcast where we just marinate in shame and everyone who listens gets to feel smug about themselves that they make better decisions. And you just had Ian on by dance. Yes, I did. He's an old friend of ours. So funny. We love Ian. Ian and Nathan are hilarious together. I'm going to see who else she's had on. That's. Oh, I love Katherine Ryan. Katherine Ryan's great. Simon Pegg was great. Oh, you get biggies. I've got some lovely people. Is that Johnny? That is Johnny. Yeah, I love him. - Yeah, Felipe, he's hilarious. - Yeah, great. had some great guests. Yeah, we have some great people coming on as well. Steve Carell, I think, is coming on soon. Oh, wow. It's very fun. Yeah. Wow, look at all these people. You get people I can't get. That's bollocks. Yeah, no, some of these people, like, I couldn't get Steve Carell. Well, that's because you weren't. You didn't get The Good Place, that's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been on shows before. I mean, I can't get Steve Carell. I'm not The Good Place. I'm like, we got Rain. That's pretty cool. He's done this. Bobby, you got me, all right? You mean literally, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody knows who I am. I mean, that's a sitcom that failed. But you look great on the cover. I would actually love a show like this. You were fantastic in The Dictator. Oh, thank you. I don't take compliments very good, but thank you. Do you take compliments good? No, I'm English. Oh, is that an English trait? If you've taken a compliment well, they won't let you back into the country. There's a special scan for it at the airport. So if you're Jamila, you were great in The Good Place. I'm not from Japan. Was that a Japanese accent? No, wait, I want to try to do it in English. Jamila. No, no. Jamila. Jamila. Jamila. Don't think too much. He's giving you acting notes. What? That just made me mad. Do you want my acting notes? I watch a lot of TV. You watch a lot of TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamila, you were great in The Good Place. It's still Japanese? It's more Korean now. Oh, really? All right. Well, can you. James, say Jamila, you were good in The Good Place. I'm going to see if I can. 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Yeah. That's what it is. That's what it is. Yeah. I think that's what it is. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you allowed to celebrate anything? Anything when you were a child? Like, for instance, like a win or like you get an award. Like my parents never allowed us to pat ourselves on the back. It was always. I think it was sort of like you're not going to get shouted at if you get 100% on the place. Yes. So that's the win. Yes. That's the party. That's exactly it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like everything great. Yeah, everything great you're doing is basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you get nothing, but that's a good thing. Mm-hmm. But I went the opposite. Like, you know, they had that baseline. Yeah, and you went meth. And I went meth. I went. Because I did drugs early on. So I went, you know what? I'm going to go the opposite. So every report card day, I knew I was going to get a beating and I doubled down on. You just come into the room all fussed. And I would take it. You got an F? You got four Fs, right? And I go, I'm going to get an F. I'm going to get an F. And you're like, good, I'll take it, you know? Because I refused to hit that bar. But you guys complied. Yeah. You complied. I complied. You complied. I complied. Yeah, you got complied. But some of us warriors. Oh, so you're better. Yeah, I'm better. I got it. Yeah, yeah. I went, you're going to F, hit me. And it seems like it made no dent on you whatsoever. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I'm all fucked up. You seem really well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know why. I think because I don't think I could have got the all As. That's what I was right about to say. I think that. Yeah, yeah. I think you took the beating because even if you were to comply, you couldn't have gotten the As. You made it look deliberate. Very good. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Because I remember one semester I tried. I went, you know what? I'm going to try to get an A. Right? And I got maybe like a B in something, like history or something. And I still got a B in A. And I tried my hardest. I'm going to go to the opposite because there's no way I can do it. And it's not that. Am I dumb? No. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think it's smart. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I just, in my mind, I just couldn't absorb certain information. Like numbers. So you just absorbed a can of whoop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead. Like, really, I couldn't. I just still today with, you know, me and numbers, I just, I'm not good at it. You're just a little dyslexic. But that's the thing. Traditional classroom learning is kind of bullshit. It is nonsense. Yeah, and it doesn't equate to actual intelligence. Not at all. I just had a photographic memory. So everything I did was technically cheating, I guess. Yeah. You have a photographic memory? I have a photographic memory. That's incredible. Yeah, it's pretty great. So you can, with lines, you just, that's it? Yeah, I can learn them walking on set. Wow. Damn. Wow. That's really weird. Did your dream come true? No. Sweating the entire time. Yeah, yeah. I need the script six months before. Yeah, yeah. But mine isn't indicative of any kind of intelligence. That's just like something broken in my brain. That's the highest intelligence. What are you talking about? It's not intelligence. There's nothing intelligent about being able to see a page in front of my, in my mind's eye. That's all. I'm just cheating life. Yeah. That's so cool. I'm a bulldog. So cool. Yeah. How fast did you learn? What do you mean? In seconds? She leaned back so fast. Oh my gosh. A minute? Yeah, yeah. A minute? Dude, do you know what a photographic memory is? Yeah, it's just explained it. Then why'd you ask how fast did you learn? Well, like, oh, like in a day I can learn in a book. Do you know what I mean? No, I actually don't. Can you explain yourself? I don't, I don't know what you mean. I was just like you. Like, I was bad at reading in school, but that's pretty impressive. Thank you. Really good pivot, dude. It's really good. Yeah. You really got some last night, huh? No. I did. I can tell. I'm still tired from it. I was going to get some, but I messed up, okay? How'd you mess up? What happened? I made a bad joke. What was the joke? What was the joke? I made the orange joke. People usually laugh at that, but she gave me that same face. People usually laugh at that, but like, you know, you guys did it. And then she's like, orange? It does crush. I've seen it. It crushes. I know, but every time he says it on stage, I always look at the audience and when they laugh, I look at the audience like, like, I don't know why. I just kind of look at the audience and I just kind of go, what is going on here? Jaime, look, James Blake likes it. James Blake likes it. James is in bits. Yeah, yeah. It's really funny. She didn't find it funny. She was like, that's it? And she, yeah. Well, I think if, is that how you delivered it? No, I delivered it more with confidence. Okay. And she's like, then she's a bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You delivered it pretty badly to me. I think I would have found it funnier if you'd given it a bit more oomph. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, she was like, oh, okay. And then we closed the tab and then we left. Oh, so you lied. You didn't hook up last night. No, I'm telling you, that's what it just, it's a joke. It's just a joke. Oh, that was a joke that you just told. Oh, I'm sorry then. You'll get it one day. Yeah. It's going to land. Yeah, one day. No, one day you're going to hook up. Okay. Okay. I promise. One day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, anyway. How old are you? Guess. Jimmy, Jimmy. Baby. No, Jimmy, like, guess how old he is. 24. No. Oh, I wish. He's 46 years old. He has an orange fart. I'm 29. I didn't get fingered until I was 23. So, you know, you're not that far behind. Oh, okay. Well, I didn't, okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, - You lost your virginity at 23 years old? 23 is when you lost your virginity? 22 I lost my virginity and then I got fingered that actually tracks for some reason I'm like wait ask me something about me what a great pivot that's a really good pivot Jimmy Robert do you want children? no why? sorry my sister is very anti-baby I can't be fucked I cannot be fucked at all I really don't want I got into loads of trouble for saying in the media that my abortion was the best decision I've ever made no keep it in but then I got a huge amount of pushback from the Christian right I'm sorry I apologize that was wrong in fact the best decision in my life was cutting bangs and then it was my abortion and then they got much angrier so that's that but yeah no I'm just not I'm not built for it I can't be bothered I love to wake up at like sort of 11am I love I'm a woman of leisure yeah I think that's me too huh woman of leisure I'm a woman of leisure yeah yeah you know what the biggest thing for me is is I I hate a lot of people and the idea of having to become friends with the parents of their friends that is like a phobia of mine it's like having to hang out with people that I don't want to hang out with because my fucking child went and made a fucking friend yeah that sucks but then maybe what if you know what I mean your kid is friends with a kid that's really their parents are really cool I don't give a shit I've already got 12 friends and I just don't need any more and if one of them dies I'll replace them but other than that I keep a tight 12 you know like Jesus yeah you you know I think a tight I have a tight 6 okay yeah yeah you went 12 huh I have 12 yeah yeah yeah I was on The Good Place oh yeah yeah yeah but 6 I'm joking yeah wait is Ted Danson in The 12 yeah really you still talk to him sometimes oh wow yeah he had me over for a sleepover we no we didn't yeah really a sleepover at his house yeah him and his wife had all of the cast and our spouses so me and James got to go over for a sleepover at Ted Danson no and Mary Steenburg had made us like a frittata in the morning and it was just the most enchanted day ever and they found out what all of our favorite snacks were and they laid them out on each of our pillows oh and then we no we didn't yeah what a magical thing yeah it was an unbelievable day yeah could have been you Barbie could have been you I've had magical moments he's turned down a Thanksgiving with Michael Bay yeah that's crazy yeah I don't imagine Michael Bay is going to leave your favorite snacks out for you the opposite yeah you know what drives Michael Bay crazy Megan Fox yeah yeah yeah but his ankles are this thin so every time I put my hands around him like this you put what I don't know what it is I just have to put my hands around his ankle like this and he always goes take your hand off my ankle yeah and I go boop and I do it but every time I see his ankle exposed ankle I have to grab it and I'm like yeah but anyway I turn down things do you think that's why he's such an angry man no he's not angry actually I find him to be very he's known for having rage issues and I wonder if that comes sometimes it's like a small cock or sometimes it's just teeny tiny little ankles well no let me say the legendary of Michael Bay I heard the opposite of his peni okay it's a gigantic oh and who started that rumor yeah but anyway no I think that Michael Bay is a case where maybe on set he is because he's the captain of the ship right what I find is off camera or like in the wild right he's a gentle soft you know what I mean fun guy fun yeah yeah yeah cool don't you you don't agree or oh no I don't know I don't know you know that some people on I'm here to spread rumors yeah yeah create chaos I don't know what you're like if you're like if you and I are on a sitcom together yeah I don't know what you're gonna be like what do you mean you could be a diva could I I don't know I mean I think some people at work is a little different than when they're in the wild no I am my problem is that I'm exactly the same yeah oh I see yeah I think you and I if we were on a sitcom together we'd be a fucking nightmare it would be great no no no I think that you and I would feed into our anxieties no I think we would we would create chaos you think so yeah 100% does this scene suck I think this scene am I bad no no no yeah and then would you say that too like I'm I'd be like yeah I think you're bad I'd feed you wait wait wait wait you would yeah I don't think you're gonna test well you know what I don't think you're gonna test well because you know when you turn around your old ass yeah yeah I don't think that's good on camera right and then we would feed I know I have to moonwalk out of every scene yeah nightmare yeah you know what I think that we would be positive together I agree we could do I think we'd be very we could be Harold and Kumar yeah oh like the season oh part four maybe yeah yeah let's do it wow Harold and Kumar I think we should play a couple I don't think we have enough petite men with overly large women oh that that'd be funny yeah and it not and no but there'd be no jokes about it yeah it should never be referenced oh there should be no no no I think the opening shot you and our couples therapy 100% yeah I think it's a and my feet dangle from the couch because it's so short for sure it's the era of the short king I think the short kings are really having 100% a moment I think you're right I don't know what that was I'm sorry but I'm with I'm with a man who's legally a giant how tall are you? I'm five foot almost 11 he's six foot eight he's legally a giant yeah I didn't realize James Lake was that tall it's he could technically get a disabled parking pass but he won't yeah and it's really annoying because I wear heels yeah yeah well you know I've got to do a long walk I don't want to assume things about James but you know big feet I saw his feet massive cock tall guy is it massive? I'm yeah I probably got so excited but you know his music your music is scary it's really scary he's a massive cock and you're like well your music your music gives off massive cock yeah but your music is all he's thinking about now is the cock like introspective you know what I mean and stuff he's a he's a he's a thinker and a feeler yeah yeah wow I mean imagine the kind of kids you would have with him they would they would also be legally giants yeah but they'd break my pussy but you'd have two talented people and I always oh it's a nepo nightmare yeah yeah but that doesn't translate really sometimes when you have two talented people and they're like well we don't have that problem because only he's talented I'm just lucky no you're not you're talented shut the fuck up you're talented shut the fuck up you fuck off fuck you I like it I like it it feels good I like it it's like it's like you know repetition yeah yeah mirroring mirroring yeah yeah yeah you say it different in your land but um yeah that was really good we were feeding off each other but um fuck off but is that why you've always um dated like taller girls because you want to offset your own genetic wants to go up on them because every time what does that mean it's a Natasha Leggero joke just about Kevin Hart having to go up on his wife yeah yeah instead of down yeah no when I was that was pretty funny the only yeah I mean that's the downside is there's certain positions you can't do I can't do reverse cowgirl I can only do three pumps and then I I can't do I look back at James and I'm like sorry oh my god that's so funny that's so funny yeah yeah yeah I mean um yeah yeah yeah that's what retrograde was about I'm joking yeah so um but the reason why um I want taller is because when I was a kid my parents my mom was what five one she's tiny tiny and my dad was like five two and my brother and I would look at my parents and I would turn to my brother and go well fuck we're fuck we're never gonna grow this is it this is at ten and seven we would I knew it and I always in my mind I was like I have to breed taller to give my kids a chance you know what I mean but you know I've had a good life yeah you've done very well I've taken what God has given me and my parents given me and you know take but you know I was also jawline you know what I mean like what yeah you go for very because I don't want my because I feel like my face is too round yeah yes really you're the king of round face yeah yeah yeah yeah what you're agreeing yeah right so like you want to so you kind of calculate that like oh that's why you always like girls with like long chin yes so you're just sort of doing eugenics for it yeah that's exactly it I think that's the one - I think that's what it is, yeah. - That's very interesting. look and i go um yeah i gotta figure it out i'm the opposite i'm trying to end my bloodline yeah yeah it's a great part my brother and i both agreed we shook on it we're gonna end the bloodline it's great it's a great power yeah yeah james do you want kids no wow not with me anyway yeah what about adopting them and that would be good oh no i can't be bothered fucking hell no no i mean i would you know it's lovely it's lovely it is lovely do you have an animal you have animals i love animals yeah i want a dog sanctuary i have two animals two dogs what are the two dogs barreled and winnie okay good perfect dogs yeah heavenly dogs uh and that's it i want to have like 15 dogs that's the plan yeah big dog sanctuary yeah yeah yeah i want it all i want like you know i mean um glass frogs i'll be real i want like one of those um what do you call them with those um those children no no no let's play this game um whoa those are my adorable dogs yeah oh my god are they the same kind they are the same kind they're they're cavapoos cavapoos they're so cute they're very cute what a life look at that life it's like it's like a fucking white picket fence right she's not white dude no well they missed each other she's pakistan no i know but i'm saying like the white picket house i have a brown picket fence that's what we get yeah okay i've never seen a white picket fence in my life the white people no but they don't have picket fences you know nobody has picket fences anymore but that's a cute picture that's good that's good yeah that is a cute picture yeah that's a do you have a professional photographer to take that no that was our flatmate what's a flatmate we have roommates we had roommates for the entire 10 years that we lived in los angeles really yeah what like who were they they were my friends from when i was 19 oh whoa bunch of guys and james is a very cool man who said yes your male friends can move in with us in our house and we're a big happy family you don't miss la do not at all yeah yeah no i missed the weather and i i missed the buffalo cauliflower but i but other than that i i do like time in london i love america yeah i just spent 10 years here and i think i need a little refresh and then at some point i'll come back really and so i just dip in by first time in i mean i've been to london before you don't like london do you no i was just i loved it oh did you let me say something about london say something the best shopping of your life yeah of my life they have smells there that you can't get anywhere else they have stores there mostly the smell of piss in london but no i'm doing cologne like oh sorry sorry sorry yeah but um yeah um we need so much cologne to overshadow the smell of the stench of piss in our street there was a smell yeah yeah yeah it's pretty bad architecture great incredible yeah and you know you know they say english people have bad feet bad teeth and bad restaurants yeah but i that i disagree we have good restaurants you have great restaurants all the other stuff is true no and the feet are great so i saw them all wow yeah yeah and then we stayed at this hotel where um there was a sauna steam room pool at the in the basement of this hotel okay and it was a fever dream and that's all i have to say about it it was the greatest moment of my life i can i'll always remember this moment and the food and the people the show was wild you know i mean congratulations i understand thank you i built it myself no you didn't you had nothing to do with it and you have the best sport football of all time oh thanks yeah i love i've always loved england the people the music right music's very good music the beatles liverpool right radiohead james blake okay okay rolling stone i don't really know what i'm supposed to do here but i'm gonna i just want to say that you keep listing english things no what i'm just saying to you is just stay there we don't want you back okay yeah yeah stay there i'm brown i i'm getting that message loud and clear so do you guys live in a house there or a flat or whatever in a flat what's the difference tell me the difference a house is a home that has its own kind of separate entrance and is separated from other houses a flat is an apartment just stacked in amongst other apartments and it's not we're humble yeah yeah yeah yeah so let me tell me the difference okay so a flat a house what are some other english um living spaces what the fuck are you talking about like a palace yeah that's what i'm saying okay we have a palace We have palaces, we have doorways. You have doorways too? Doorways, yeah. Amazing. Yeah, pretty good. Okay, yeah, yeah. Ballrooms. We have castles. You have castles? That's exactly, we don't have castles here. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the Magic Castle. Yeah, yeah, that's a, I guess that's a. Very exciting. Touche, touche. Is the first castle not a castle? Medieval. Medieval. Medieval castle? Medieval. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Medieval. Medieval. Medieval. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sweaty. I don't want to do that. You left her hanging? My hand's sweaty. No, I love him. He can do no wrong. So when you're in a flat, do you know other people? You're my best friend. He's the best, yeah. He really is a sweet guy. Have you ever been to medieval times? Medieval. Medieval times? No. What do you mean by that? Like a renaissance fairy? He wants to know if I've lost my virginity. I have, and so therefore I've not been to medieval times. Oh, medieval times. Yeah, it does look amazing. It does look amazing, though. Yeah. I thought you were like, do you have a time machine? You went back to the medieval times. No, he thinks I'm that old. No. Yeah. No, you look great. Oh, thanks, man. Asian doesn't raise him. Because I've never met you physically. Have we met physically? I don't think so. I don't think so either. No. But I've, you know, followed you and whatnot, you know what I mean? But you look exactly then from 10 years ago when I followed you. I told you, Asian doesn't raise him. Yeah. That's the vibe. Yeah. Do I look 54? No, you don't. You know you don't. You're so disingenuous to even ask. But, you know what? My nose hairs are now white. But I can't see those. I'm going to shave them, but I pluck them. What about your pubes? Salt and pepper. No, there's no white pubes yet. I think you had like one or two. I'm going to show you now. I'll show you now. You're 30? No. You're like kind of 40. Well, in two months, yeah, I'm 39. Wow. A lot is happening. What was going on? Actually, I couldn't tell because you shaved. I know. Brazilian? No, I shaved my own. Do you shave it into a shape? No, I shave it all. If you could, what shape would it be? Oh, God, that's really good. Probably an Arsenal cannon. Or, you know, Arsenal cannon or what else? A heart. Yeah. A heart, yeah. What's this when Koreans do this? No, it's this. Yeah, what is this? It's like heart. It's a heart. People want to do this. I want to just break it. Snap it off. Yeah, snap it off, yeah. Do you like this? No. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I believe in love. What is this? Do you believe in love, Bobby? Wait, you work with. I'm in a. Wait, you work with Oliver? Is that Oliver? I did, Oliver Hudson. We're close friends. Wait, wait. You and Oliver work together? Yeah, we play boyfriend and girlfriend. Is that a movie coming out? On Wednesday, yes. November 12th. No. And who else is in it? It's Alicia Silverstone and Melissa Joan Hart, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Should I call Ollie now? And Pearson Foddy, yeah, sure. I love Ollie. What a nice man, huh? Great man. One of my favorite scene partners that I've ever had. Yeah, let's see. I don't think he'll pick up, but. Should we both call him and see which one he answers? Oh, my God. That would be so angry. Hey, so. Yeah. He's doing that. In England, you guys have a good fashion sense. I love your fashion. Thank you. What up, Bobby Lee? Oh, my God. I'm so glad you picked up. You're on my podcast. You know who I have on? Who? Jamila. Hi, Oliver. Is Jamila on right now? Hi. I can't believe she got on the Bobby Lee podcast. That's tough. I know she's big time, but. Yeah, she is big time, you know. She really is big time. What was it like working with her, Ollie? You shut your mouth, Oliver. Ah. It was great. Honestly, it was amazing. She had some. You had to get used to her for about three to five minutes, but. You know, it took a minute to get used to her. She was just all out there, man. Everything was just bang, bang, bang. It's like, okay. Yeah. Who was easier to work with, me or Jamila? Hi, Jamila. I mean, you, it was like just talking someone off a cliff every time. I mean, it was just no, no belief in your ability, scared of everything, you know, afraid that you, Channing was going to come down and fire you. I know. You know. Did you really? Well, how about the one morning when you didn't show up to work for three hours and I was calling you and calling you. I was nervous. I thought something had happened to you. And you just slept through your alarm, I guess. That was the worst morning of my life. oh dude i i i can't imagine that i was whereas wasn't i professional oliver i turned up with a hernia oh my god i i if i could never do what jamila did every day she comes to work it's like straight out of this happens something something is that there's some sort of an ailment she's throwing up she's this she's that i mean but she showed up every single morning you know with puke breath did you ever meet james blake yeah he was great yeah he's now he yeah he's a great guy yeah he's a great guy yeah yeah yeah he probably has a bigger penis than you i don't know i don't know about that it doesn't feel like he does i mean he's got an extra quarter inch because he's uncircumcised i'm sure very good you know what i will agree with you i will agree yeah yeah yeah well yeah for sure well ollie thanks for picking up i love you love you love you guys love you jammy i'll see you tomorrow yeah hey oliver oliver he doesn't know you he does know me you don't know oliver i was on the episode with him he called me fly boy yeah wait wait what oliver yeah hyman oliver we're in the same episode here at tiger belly oh i don't remember this one's yeah okay i don't think he remembers i think he remembers yeah yeah okay yeah wait um what kind of sick do you get i know you know you were actually the first person who openly talked about ehlers-danlos yes ehlers-danlos syndrome do you have it um my sister does i'm sorry but um it wasn't a thing this was before tiktok not everywhere on tiktok you you know hear people talk about their autoimmune stuff oh yeah it's the one where i pulled my cheeks ridiculously wide yeah that was like a long time ago whoa whoa that's incredible don't stop doing it stop doing it but yeah you were the reason why it even like sparked the thing in her head loads of people got diagnosed after that yeah it went viral yeah it's ehlers-danlos syndrome it's just a lack of collagen uh in my body so that's kind of why i don't really age because my skin is like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like a big elastic band so it's my body um so i can kiss my own ass i'm not going to do it right now bobby so stop asking um but i'm uh but i i can um and so yeah so i mostly i have lots of accidents and actually the accident that happened to me on set during merry little xmas um out november 12th uh is uh is that i i we have you can see that very tall handsome you know cool drink of water or whatever the fuck you're supposed to call him uh on the end yeah pearson fodey he's jacked like crazy crazy jacked and he is working out all of the time and so if you want to be friends with him you have to be friends with him in a gym so i went to the gym with him and he trained me and went so hard that i uh got a hernia pulling up some weight so i was doing that oh my god i got hernia in my food tube which i didn't know was a thing so that's why i was vomiting all the time on set so i was having to go to accident emergency and then turn up and was he in this fucking movie did he did he apologize uh yeah of course okay but it was not his fault that i'm made of you know um i don't know whatever the material and flubber is yeah yeah i mean that's happened to my sister she like doing nothing she'll twist both of her ankles and she'll have to sprain ankles for six months yeah for no reason yeah for no reason but i was a marvel supervillain and i did all my own stunts wow i broke everything november when does this come out november 12th this week this week so this week right now if you're listening to me go watch a merry little xmas and listen to my podcast wrong turn we're gonna get there we're gonna fucking get there man what are you doing we do one thing at a time man and she hulk i'm just really excited and she that's already passed if you want to she has a book shame 12 years ago i was on a radio show on the bbc check it out all right we're doing current fucking promotion okay but still all right so anyway it was my birthday in february happy birthday a merry little xmas right you have a podcast called wrong turn out wherever you get your podcast right did you have fun today i had such a lovely time that was so fun i've been really confused i've been disgusted at times but i had a really lovely time you're a lovely bunch of people and um i've never felt like the least weird person in a room until today so thank you for that thank you for coming jameela jameel give her a round of applause everybody you you

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