Jamaica w/ Punkie Johnson | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

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I got to do this selection. I got to fuck it. Where you been and where you going. This is our race travel show. Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today. It's you being trippin. Yeah. Hello, everybody. Welcome to UB trippin. It's a travel podcast made with 20% real fruit juice. Today, my guests brought new shoes for the event and scoffed them already. God damn punk. It's a damn subway, man. It's, uh, yeah. You still take a subway tripping up the steps. Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely. I'm looking. I might live in Jersey, but I try to go by living by a real New Yorker life. I love that lifestyle. The reports of the pushings and the fucking danger in the subway. I personally say are vastly over over promoted. Yeah, I think I think it's the overreaction. I don't, unless I just get lucky, because they'll done being don't the most that happen on a subway with me is somebody preaching about God, which is normal, woke up with Jehovah witness all the time. That's nothing. But that's a little church. Then that means you went to church that day. Praise God. Praise God. Praise God. Always praise him and somebody playing a guitar with a with a tip bucket. That's the worst has ever been for me on a subway. What's the best? Uh, the best is, um, so I live in Jersey city. So I want a path. Okay. The path is filled with nothing, but people that want to get to work in money business. That's the best. I say the best is the dancers. When they fucking put their legs up on the thing and they go, they're like bats and they're hanging from, yeah, they go around their fucking pop lock and they're like, what? So you talk about the best, like action wise. I don't talk about the best on some piece. Oh, okay. If you want peace, that's right. That's right. But I love that. I don't have a problem with the subway. Dude, I saw a guy stand his ground once. They were like, Hey, can you watch out? We're gonna do this thing here and Sky's like, no, he just had it enough. And they were like, okay, you can't just stand like, like two feet away. And then they kept like moving and like bumping into him. He was standing his ground. Then the next stop definitely wasn't a stop, but he got off. Yeah. Yeah. You get pretty annoyed on a subway. The subway is, you can't be the no guy on a subway. You just gotta, you just be like water. You got a float, let it flow on a subway man. Yeah. This is very sudden. You got to submit. Yeah. Yeah, you just got, it's, guys, it's happening. It's a, it's a, I try to buy gum now from the, I found out all the little candy salesmen are Ecuadorian. I used to live there. So I was like, Oh, let me support him. A little girl. So he took my, he took my, in a, in a subway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One's a come like that. I'm like, I'll buy a granola bar for me. I'm like, I eat it, but I'll buy it. You know what? I should take my head out of my ass because when they come around me, I'd be like, Oh, yeah. But that's a nice thing for you to do. I'd be like, get away from me. Absolutely. But I read somewhere they're Ecuadorian and then like they're just like trying to make ends meet. And it's like, Oh, you're not beggars. You're, that's different. You're like, yeah. I for $2. I'll support your dream of America. And I'll get some gum. Bro, you just changed my PLB. You know, I'm, I'm all about supporting the hustle. I can't even believe I didn't even look at it that way. That sucks. Yeah, it's hard not to hit out of ass punky. What is wrong with you? It's hard not to. I had a look at making a second. My head is, it is migrant showed up one day outside in my, near my block. You spillage. It's literally a cast and call dark black align around the block of just dark black people. It wasn't a cast and call. I was sure it was. We looked at it. What was it then? Migrants. Refugees. And they showed up every day and they had to be processed to become to America, whatever. And then I was like, what the fuck these are like homeless people? And then I finally got the courage to talk to one. I was like, where are you from? He's like, murdered. Tanya. He's glad I don't speak English. And I was like, why are you here? Because I spoke out against my government. They were going to kill me. So I had to leave the mill tonight. It's people got mad stories. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, you're not a homeless? Because I am here, but I wasn't my whole life. But like, I'm trying not to be again. Oh, man, go ahead. Keep changing my PLB. Yeah, he was like, I'm college educated. And I'm like, wait, what? And I'm sitting up here upset because someone didn't like my joke. What? This is real life problems. I'm not stressing about some bullshit. Yeah, like, wait, how did you leave the mill tonight? They were definitely going to disappear me the next day. So I had to disappear myself. Wow. Meanwhile, I met at the Uber E-strabber. But he didn't find my favorite fucking turkey. It's not 217. It's 215. I don't want to walk down the straights rating. You walk in the rain. Not me. Man, man, I need to start. I need to, you know, what? I need to start educating myself a lot more. I mean, I got lucky. I happen to see an article and I have lived in Ecuador. They're from Panama. I'm like, each shit, bitches. Get the fuck away from me. I just non Ecuadorians. I just have a connection. Connect to those motherfuckers way better. Punky, where are you? What's we're going to Jamaica, right? Let's go to Jamaica, baby. Hell yes. Let's go to Jamaica. I've been trying to practice my Jamaican accent. I suck. I suck at accents. Let's hear it. Come to play with me, boy, are you for dead? I like that. I mean, I mean, you know, that's not bad. No, I mean, I, you know, I'm not an accent type person. I'll tell you what, I was going to say it's not bad. For someone who works on a sketch show, that's terrible. For someone whose job it is to have accents. I don't know about, I don't know if I should say this, but I'm not on that show no more. Are you really not? We're done. We're done. We're, we're mutually done. Oh, so this okay, great. I don't know if we should put that out or not. I don't care. I'm telling my story. Ain't nobody to tell me to keep it closed. Great. How come? It was like, it was like a shoot I didn't fit. You know, it was, it was, it was a round ball in a square box. It was just the relationship. It was like one of things where you, you watch like love at first sight. And he like, oh my god, I love you. We're going to get married and then he's still living with that motherfucker. And you're like, I didn't know you chew like that. Oh, I didn't know your snores are kind of intense. I didn't think I was going to have to, I hate the way you brush your teeth. And then like all of these things, it just, it just builds up. And then you find it like the same where we thought it was going to be. And you got your credits out of it. And we happy and we tried and there's no hard feelings. And it was great before me. I, it was, I needed to leave. And they wanted me to go. So it was, it was mutual. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. That's exciting. No, I'm, I'm mad excited. I mean, I, you know, I'm not going to work on series and movies that I've been wanting to do. Yeah. Cause if you say you're doing this special and I was like, I was almost like, cause I've seen some other SNL people do specials. And it's like, I mean, it's just where you gotta, you kind of commit to us. You can't do this fucking 50 hour a week job. And then also to work on your special. I could, yeah, I've been working on the same hour for three years because I haven't had a lot of time and opportunity to really perfect it the way I wanted to. Yeah. Cause being inconsistent working on a special, that ain't gonna work. Pucky, that's great. I'm so excited for you. Oh, no, I'm mad excited. I'm, I'm just, I'm, you know, SNL put me on a, on a, on a schedule, which is fine. And I appreciate it. But I'm a comedian. I come from Los Angeles. I did 10 years at the comedy store. We are used to, yeah. I'm used to the chaos of not knowing what's next. I thrive off that shit. So it's just like, when I got to LA, I found out we didn't know I'm pretty subtle. You heard of him. But I heard finally played golf. And I just played golf at Maryland. So I was like, oh, you can play golf? He's like, yeah, I'll play with you. I was like sick. You want to play this week? And he's like, all right. Like I got two time for Wednesday. He's like, all right, what time? I was like, I was like, I think it's like 945. And he goes, oh, no. He's like, I'm a comic. And I was like, well, when? That's late. I think it was three. I'm like three. Yeah, three. Sunset's a fucking five. He just pro. I'm shut up with this 945 business. I get it now. I used to lie to people and say 945. But at the time, I was telling the truth. Cause I mean, I was, I was on fucking drugs. Right. So I'd be sent up there like, yeah, nigga. I'll be there. I'll be (singing in foreign language) I'm not gonna be there no nine forty five. I'm a comic. Yeah. Yeah. Etheridge told me he wrote a South Park for one season. Mm-hmm, which is, you know, my dream job a lot of our dream jobs And he goes he wanted to come back for the second season. It's all his agents like no, no, you're done He's like, why it's great. It goes well, it doesn't pay very well But also like you got the credit on your resume self-work to two seasons or one season is the same on the resume Yeah, so you have it so now go make twenty grand a week fucking right for some sort of like equivalent I'm not saying money-wise, but the credit isn't it somewhat equivalent to the Simpson's or am I reaching? No, I think it is I think it might be even higher now. Yeah, it's so relevant Mm-hmm, but so it's like you got the credit. So now now cash in. Yeah, let's go. Yeah, so you got that SNL credit Yeah, and I'm grateful and and I that wasn't even on my On my vision board like I fell into that So it's not like I went to school for it, and it was it's something I need to do. It wasn't that. Yeah, I fell into it I got lucky. I was blessed. I'm happy Some move on all right. Well speaking to move it on. Let's get to let's get to Jamaica. What drugs do you do while you're there? Annie all the all the weed, but I was scared to smoke the weed why? Because I even on a regular weed out here. Yeah, I get a little crazy in paranoia. What do you mean? No? Yeah, well, I get a little crazy paranoia on I mean sometimes it depends on your head though, aren't you? Absolute I slow down a lot. Okay, but when I got the Jamaica is like you got to smoke the Jamaican weed. You got it. It's kind of like the birthplace of weed. You got it though You know, you have to you be an asshole to not smoke weed. I was getting but I was very irresponsible doing it Like I was as soon as I landed somebody was like weed. I'm like, okay You know we traveling. We in the fucking taxi like weed man. Yeah, I'll try some of that too We get to the hotel they like I'm like, you know somebody got some weed. They're like, yeah, if you go down here You know, I'm like, I fuck it. I'll smoke all the way. How much was it your member expensive? It was it wasn't that bad like you get like I don't know. They'll say you like I ate for like 40 bucks of some shit. It's like okay It's not I didn't think it was that expensive. Yeah, cuz what I ate eight out here go for what like 60 bucks 80 bucks New York over 60 and I remember my friends in Toronto when I was like look We got when the really became like legal medical or you know more or less both and you're like I bought it $60 or 50 I found and they're like 50. That's a deal. Yeah, they get it for like 30 and I'm like wait, what? I thought I thought it was fine. I mean they're gonna touch you Yeah, you know you're you're a tourist. You're fucking American. They're not they're not trying to do it. Was it good? But you're more of a drunk. I Like to drink. Yeah, I've been getting bet on that too. God damn it. I'm growing up I hate it but I love my liquor gotta have my liquor, but I'm the reason why I Fell off on a liquor a little bit got to slow down a little bit because I'm a woman and that shit It goes to your hips. Oh, right, you know, and it's hard to get it's harder for women to get that weight off So I was like let me just put my brakes on this shit. Hey everybody. Let me break into today's episode Tell you a little bit about the guest punky Johnson You can follow her on Instagram at punky Johnson if you can't spell that. That's on you. No, no, actually sorry That part I could see beginning with a punk IE Johnson and not her real name I think all these black people make themselves real new real names Denny Brown not his real name It's down to his name is a hymen left quits Teddy brown. It's a good decision Anyway, Pucky Johnson is a great comic. She's not in the road much. She's got a podcast called gay and ghetto that she does occasionally Move to your left camera man. You're gonna fall off a cliff. No, you're left. You're gonna fall off a cliff And now go straight What's it gonna say about she wears a black and gold black and red everybody you hear Tony Hinchcliffe talking about it The black and red. She's a comedy store employee just like me. I think we might have overlapped slightly No, I was already gone before she was there, but there's a She's an SNL alum, you know, they have an alum for that, but fuck that the real alum is a black and red Me Tony Madagher rent a ZC Bobby Lee is a bunch of us who wore the shirts and she was watched was a waitress She was the one which is putting down her tray Going up on stage all the time. It was fucking great. It was really cool To see it anyway Please follow her on Instagram at Pucky Johnson and let's do a podcast and try to pressure to keep doing it I have got nothing to promote. I've got a new um I've got my t-shirt available at rishafir.com also available at the bottom of the screen wherever you're watching or listening deck of psychedelic playing cards where I am the king of mushrooms It's every drug What else? My final rishafir Jew and you've been tripping You've been tripping stickers. Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening and subscribe to the to the You've been tripping podcasts account. I'm an Instagram account at you've been tripping pod Guys, I'm rishafir support this show by uh, by you know Buying something anyway. Let's get back to the episode Jamaica. Got it But the Wii was crazy. I was eating. I was eating everything on that motherfucking Wii and it didn't make me It didn't have me too hyper. It didn't have me too calm and my heart wasn't being too fast So I feel like it is like a really good in Jamaica. Yeah, okay Yeah, it's like a I guess organic. Let's call it that. Okay. How long do you go for? I thought that for about uh, about six days. Who'd you go with? Uh, I was with the this this woman that I'm seeing. Yeah. With her big booty-ass. Okay, the second by the way Second revelation today. Punky is also a Homer sexual Judd nice ass. Oh my god, bruh. Oh, Lord. She like she's like her mom black her dad's Puerto Rican So she got like these cute like Spanish like Jinky looking eyes and she got these eyelashes and she got big titties And she got Attitude cuz she black and she speak that Spanish shit Damn, dude black with Spanish black and Spanish. It was like my dream woman. Yeah, they just fell into my laugh And she got this big old booty and she she's English all the time, but when she get mad She she used my government name jataka. That's how she be said. I'd be like, oh fuck. Let me go get some old trouble, baby Shit. Let me pass you off again Cuz she oh she's so hot but being out there with her it was great because she's very seductive so We did get like a lot of buy one get one frees because of her sex she was like show some leg I've been yeah, I tell her. I like I love when I can kind of just You know push my girl off and she's fine with it. Like I'm like go go over there and get me a deal Yeah, go over there make some happen go touch them in the space grab them a little bit touches arm like Yeah, just go do what you gotta do for a take and she love taking one for the team. Yeah, you know We was getting free drinks cuz of her big booty. Oh nice. Yeah, hey everybody get you a nice Big booty half black half Puerto Rican bitch They got added to oh Was there any like Yeah, how are they with gays down there? They were fine. They were fine. They loved us. We was actually looking to have a threesome and couldn't Well the guys for some reason Thought because I was like the masculine one. They thought that I was joking So none of them they were all like no, no, no, no, no, no like it was almost with the Jamaica It was almost like they tried to show some respect like I feel like if we were too feminine women They would have did it with with with no problem Right that like they didn't want to like you're saying they didn't want to like step on your toes or fall into a trap or whatever I don't know I can't call it because I didn't ask because I was like fine whatever nigga and I will move on yeah But we you know like me and my girl we just I'm very I'm very open out there for guys in Jamaica You were like I wouldn't do nothing out it would it would be oh fuck I can't believe about this it is it would be more like You know like Chill give me some head he'll have sex with her from the back of something like that But that's what you suggested to them. Yeah Yeah, listen when we go out of town listen, especially if I'm in Jamaica or if I'm in Mexico I'll just anywhere where it's like a beach and it's beautiful outside and I'm in a good mood I'm not crazy like I don't treat my women like they property and I Don't necessarily believe in monogamy. I was married, but now that I'm out of it I'm just like one pussy for the rest of my life seriously and I don't want my girl to have one pussy All dick for the rest of her life. It's like let's go out and have fun, but let's do it together. That's my thing. Let's do it together Okay, and also like if she's eating it out. It's like we have another time you can get you still got a spare hole down there Yeah, and I'm and why don't you go why don't you get plugged Well, I don't like getting blood. No her. Oh, she can get yeah, yeah, true. She could get plugged. Yeah, I don't want nothing up my plug. Yeah So you wouldn't if you were having a threesome with a guy and he's like now I'm gonna fuck you. You'd be like nothing's absolutely not I'm off limits to the man. I'm off limits. I won't I don't touch the guy the most I'll do with a guy I'll kiss a guy But I won't I won't touch a guy. You want like like touch his dick? No, no, no, so really it'd be like you and him fucking your girl Yeah, that's what I can't believe I'm about to say this but I guess trainee. It's like a trainee thing or whatever I mean it's not necessarily a train because I don't have I don't have a dick so I'm not like fucking her or whatever You know, well, I guess it's like a let's consider like instead of like a like a whatever that system is to lock two trains together It's more like a magnet there you go. Yeah, we'd be magnetized. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, but you know, we open section We didn't we didn't do it. Yeah, I'm just thinking like if if if a chick and another chick, I mean in terms of like Dyke's go you're put your on the more feminine side first of all. Thank you Thank you for saying that I am so sick of America scared to say what the fuck it is I'm a mother fucking night fuck that lesbian shit fuck that queer shit. What the fuck are you afraid of call it? What the fuck it is and why is the D not an LGBTQ? Why is such pussy? Yeah, it's a different category. I am the D in the LGBTQ mother fucker Like do we got a whole it's like a whole epidemic of dykes out here and no one's fucking acknowledging it. Thank you Jesus Christ Might you be cheaper as the most inclusive podcast in America The cutting us fuck bro. They're also fucking scared of everything Nobody understands that comedy sort of training We came up in a place where it's black walls. The custom is not always right. Who gives a shit? The worst you're gonna get is Ian Edwards going day, huh? You know, but it's gonna be a friend Like yeah, we get it man. Everybody got their POV and we respect it But I'm saying if you and another and like a hot black half Latina chick. It was like, well, I mean I I'd be nervous. I'm like, yeah, okay. What's there's no catch like let's go. I think I They were very very nervous, but because I'm like more in a masculine side. Yeah, they just they just didn't want to do it Okay, so you go down a trick Not to go to three so much as to hang out and have fun. What were you expecting? Well, there would you get in prison was on the list? It was he talked about it ahead of time. Let's get you wanted a Jamaican or do you want to just somebody down there? Jamaican a beautiful like a one of them Mother fucking Jamaicans you see on Fucking bad boys and some shit fucking cut. Yeah, just a big black Look like he got a damn Form as a dick. We didn't give up my buddy my buddy's Jamaican Dared from college and he said when he was working at resorts when he was like 18 and stuff just like working working He'd he'd push his accent so high up to try to fuck. Why check. Yeah, he'd be like that's what they wanted the fantasy I'm gonna give them that fantasy. I love that. Yeah, that was it was on the list We didn't make it happen, but we ate all the food and we smoked all the week. What kind of food was there? So of course we didn't really like the resort food The resort food is like the I mean in no shade But the resort food is like this place is Italian this place is Jamaican this place is Asian It was just something like yeah, like like some mall food or some shit So we did not enjoy that food. We ate it because it was free the room service was Yeah, okay, so that's that's What would let us to get on the bus is the bus is in tour you scared it all when you do that? We was fucked up the whole time. So I really wasn't thinking about any Anything yeah, sometimes we even took a taxi like whoever the door was that drove us from the airport to the hotel We'll call them what you're doing We need to go here. We need to go a card One of those mm-hmm. Maybe look you know they be out there hustling. Yeah, they hustle They do and I sound a lot of form kind of like call me later and you're like, mm-hmm. Maybe you know what surprised me out there What they didn't have I didn't find a lot of places That had ox tails. I was going out there for the ox tails. I wanted to eat every ox tail, but it was more like I'm not a fish person so I'm probably gonna say this wrong, but it was more like Bronzini Bronzino with the the fish with the head on it. Yeah, like the whole fish the whole fish It was more like stuff like that. It was more like a whole bunch of seafood a whole bunch of lobster And it was great because it was nice and it was fresh but I I didn't find a lot of places with a lot of Ox tails, but the jerk oh Best jerk ever that might but I can't even remember thinking that's that's my ideal for Jamaica for yes Yes, yes, the jerk the jerk the jerk the jerk flavoring. Yeah, it was really really good and even in the hotel They didn't have it in the resort, but they would bring like a little cart with this guy who was just outside on this huge Char Char bro Char whatever the fucking grill is and he was just Just making food as as it was just cooked the auto. It's so good It's like beautiful dark like that dark and black and Chicken off the grill and then he dip it in his filthy jerk Like he put his whole fucking foot in that shit. I could not I ate I ate the jerk every day Like to the point. I was about to stay an extra day just to get more jerk. Yeah, the jerk. It was just a specific flavor that I don't where's that name come from? I don't know. I don't know. Let's check it out. Oh Here we go Spanish word um charquey charquey Or is it charquey? I mean jerked or dried meat? Charquey is the Q K always Q in Spanish. Charquey or charquey. I don't know Jerky jerky of charque I don't make sense. It means dried strips of meat. Whatever some wet-ass meat. We was eating Yeah, oh wow. It's so fucking good though. I Have not found that type of a flavor here in America in the States at all Charquey may became jerky Dude, they had in Ecuador. They had a Poio chicken pollo secondo and you're like what's a condo? Yeah, what is that the GI's would come there and they want seconds So whatever the flavor that was they were like seconds seconds are like secondo secondo. Oh, and they named it after people coming in Yeah, they can't say seconds. They were like, I don't know what they're saying, but they keep calling us As unique yeah Okay, so a lot of jerk damn a lot of jerk The pasta was terrible pasta was terrible interesting, but I tell you one thing Jamaica know how to have a party because we went out there for New Year's Eve. We're up in New Year's So we spent the week out there. Yeah, so the whole time they had a whole bunch of like activities to do We went to this big huge beach party for New Year's Eve They had a big. I mean they had like this DJ. I think he was an American DJ. So he was playing all The shit like what it was like he gave every you know, it was a whole bunch of different people there It wasn't just black people there. It was like you got it was like white people and Spanish people and they had Asian people There was like every type of different culture was there which was surprising to me. Yeah What do you mean like at at the hotels and resources like at the hotel okay itself that was surprising very very Because we went to all adult exclusive hotel. We didn't want to have any children. Wait running around Okay, yeah I was surprised myself But no, okay, you can't bring a kid there. No, I mean that's what I'm looking for It was baby. It was great. It was I mean everything they're so annoying the kid the yeah I gotta I gotta be in a mood for it. I love the kids punk a lot of kids Yeah, but like you're trying to have a my tie of that pool or whatever and then they run by you know like kids are running around It's slamming on shit. They diving in the pool They're screaming at a restaurant screaming. It's just like I don't know that shit You got the parent that's running up to the motherfucker's chasing them up again Then you got some parents who just let them do it. Oh, they just ignore them. They just ignore them like how you deal with it Yeah, I can know and I will I will deal with your fucking kid and that and that is my problem because I don't know how to mind my business Sometimes when I'm annoyed. Yeah, yeah, but it's like well if you're not gonna do something That's what you're telling me is your child is his own thing so I'm gonna take it up with the thing. Yeah I'm gonna take it up with the thing. Hi, excuse me. Hi kid. Hey kid. Don't do this. Can you stop slamming on the table trying to enjoy my lunch here? Either that or you want me to go to the mom like hey, can you take your kid and now it's a fight? I'm gonna go right to the source Hey stop. Don't talk to my kid that way. Well then you talk to him. Yeah, please Guys abortions so we went to that. I know. Thank you Where did he back it? So you went to that? Yeah, we did that how was new was it like while was it like party party? It was it was fantastic the party started at eight o'clock and before the party They did like this big buffet and I did enjoy the buffet the buffet had a little bit of Italy It had a little bit of Asia It had a little bit of America a whole bunch of Jamaica Of course salads vegan gluten free shit for the people who of it's up that caliber and a whole a ton of seafood You know, so they took us around the world with the buffet which was fantastic and Then you leave the do you leave the buffet and you go and you go to the party and it's just they pop in fireworks all night Oh, that's nice. And when they not pop in the fireworks they got the DJ going champagne Free liquor. Yeah, it's open bar. It's not that bullshit open bars. It's not like you know how you go to some resorts and the open bar is fucking Jose quaveau, you know not trying to shit on Jose quaveau, but we're past Jose quaveau Okay, yeah, and it's just like Taco vodka and all that bullshit now they hit Bombay Tito's grey goose Belvedere nice put Tron Don Julio the good shit damn nice, so it was good What was is there Jamaican liquor or what's bigger that run? Yeah, I was I was thinking rum maybe but they didn't have you know what they did the whole time like if we went on like a would you call that shit like a little when we went out into the city yeah I'm gonna hear more about that a brain for it what they'll do is everybody served rum punch oh nice that's what they have with those crackers right yeah at the in the Central Park itself wait no I'm sorry I miss rate that what would you say the crackers the little like they have in like Central Park when those guys will come by like once crackers it's just whatever park also Brooklyn I would ever but they'll come by with like a bottle like this big and they'll crack them open oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's for cracking yeah yeah I could see what you have to see and those are a lot of those are Rumpunch it's just like red and like boozey yeah yeah the right I see when I went on when we went on like the boat or whatever I was getting mad because the white people on the boat no white people you know what fucking I'm just going to say this do it y'all need to stop double dipping bruh y'all need to stop with that bullshit okay and it's even like places it's like this not not all of this is yours not all of this is your space at all either like we're all sharing this so if you take a chip and you dip it in the salsa you eat the whole chip that's it for the chip that's it for the chip done or throw the chip over but who gives but don't put your fucking chip back in the salsa who why would you even do that at home you get it's like and do that it'd be like stuff like I wonder I had this idea that like a lot of times when they try to like sell stuff to tourists in like Asia or something like that they're trying to like oh white guy they have money but then they get those people to go backpacks and everything like and like oh that's a hostile guy he didn't have any money you but they're doing all white people the same like oh they're different types I wonder if you saw Israelis I wonder if that's your white people tell which ones which it seems like a my family kind of thing to do but it's all right you know what all right fine white people a lot of people do it because I'm I'm pulling now I'm about to pull you experience from like Chipotle when they have the the glass is there for a reason and when people go over the glass and do this shit oh get the fuck out of here what do they need another another thing now now I'm just talking to the Chipotle people I'm like and I hate when the Chipotle people are scared to say don't do that it's like I want to say one day I just want to go stand and be the bitch that'd be like don't do that what a great job though a bit I would love to see you as just that job for just an hour you get the camera just sit there waiting like sir you're over the fucking line would you take the fucking glasses for a bro yeah you don't actually work this is a job I did like call the managers we just like this random stranger back here because none of these people have guts are not gonna throw me out they're not gonna tell you not to do that they definitely got to me that drives this shit out of me for some reason it's just like this or that man it's easy it's one or two one or two one or two what do you see a specific piece of being that you want the fuck are you doing none of it makes sense but anyway we had so much fun on like I was little adventures hey I love this guy he's like fun I know fun bandit where's punky hey bandit she's working at the comedy store hey she was that place I worked at he like I'm fucking tired he can up so tell me about the city what city was it my Tego Bay my Tego Bay it's fantastic now we wanted to go we wanted to go to um tour by Molly's house that was on list oh but it was like one of those things where you had to be on a fucking shuttle at like 7 a.m. and I'm like we're not and I understand it because it was it's a ways from Antigua but I'm just like where you grew up just in the country yeah I mean I grew up in a city but we some country full no he oh he by Molly he I don't even know what to call it but I think you know the Kingston you know and I really really wanted to go but I just I didn't I didn't want to do it you know one thing we did yeah so they have like these rafts but they made of like logs or whatever hmm Mr. Joy Diaz took to America he was a baby don't fuck with me right now I am not even I will believe you I'm not I don't think I'm joking I might be wrong but I'm I'm not joking or lying I think his mom got on a raft a bunch of fucking logs and fucking water bottles and tied them together empty water bottles and went over I think he had a brother that he lost his sharks they were like the sharks come and someone's got to go oh god that part I made up I made a part up but I think he asked how he got to America but it that is so funny I can't I can't what are you gonna say about it so you rafts made a wood and so the experience was it was really dope it was a great experience you like in this safari and it's just like a whole bunch of it looked like monkeys can fly can or swinging from it look like monkeys belong there to swing from the trees they look like wait what is this where what is this a tour it was it was some type of tour yeah it was some type of tour with the with the rafts yeah pictures of any of the stuff I do oh send me them later yes I definitely yeah and you get there and you go and you go like down this these steps it's like a mountain but it's like steps and then the tour is like the water is maybe ankle deep yeah deepest it may get is a knee deep maybe okay and you get on there and you got your bottle of champagne and the guy that like you champagne yeah oh oh that's that's fantastic this is exactly what it is oh well load it up now yeah I think I will guy name was Peter if I'm not mistaken and that's your gruffer yeah that's my bitch right there that's all right there so they put you on like those and they just took you down this like river in the middle of nowhere it's almost like a horse and carriage ride wow are there monkeys and stuff now no it looked like there should be it looked like they're gonna be swinging at you in it there's no animals down there it just looks like the jungle you know that's like a nice seat like this beautiful that flowers on it you sit there to kind of strap you when you put your raft on you of course you can't move but as you so I love it because as you go and down the river yeah it's like it's like the craziest weirdest farmers market where people are selling stuff on other rafts coming by yeah as you go by you can you can be like I I want some liquor they got a liquor one they got people got snacks they got these people to have coconuts people that sell in the souvenirs and you and they'll have a sign up and like oh we have this one is mad expensive like one shot of Patron was like $22 I mean they taxing the shell too but can you bargain there you know we didn't we we didn't we just we we just hit them with the goddamn yeah you got to know how to and not everybody knows how to and I don't always either it's like I want to say it's like you know what fuck it we know we're gonna get taxed you know they know specifically we're on this on this raft we we have we didn't we're also gonna go for liquor and they know we want to get fucked up yeah huh right so the raft the goal wherever you want it to go and then and then they'll stop their stop and give both both you and your partner oh my god so it's like while one person's getting a massage the other person could kind of go out into the water play on a rocks it's like waiting level water yes yes the water is not too cold it's not too hot it's like perfect you know on me cool water if that makes sense and the guy in the massages are heaven I mean they're not it's they're not they're not fucking cutting you short like if you get no pedicure no hell no they digging into your calves they digging into your shoulders they and then of course they the thing that they use they use like this big rock and it's like this big melting organic rock would all kind of like like like like I don't I don't I guess herbs in it and just just really that's in it yeah and it and it just and they rub it on your feet and your legs and it makes you feel so good it's so after what you feel so smooth and of course they try to sell it to you it's like hey this helps with inflammation you know this helps with acne this helps with with the skin disease yeah why am I drawing a god damn brain for it this whole time skin oh what is that skin disease you know when your skin peel just constantly yeah whatever y'all know what I'm talking about shit and of course you know they're like oh you just if you use this you know like a couple times a week it'll you know improve the way you walk and just stupid shit to see like oh cool like oh I'm not gonna use a couple times a week this is the only time I'm ever gonna do it is right here refrigerators like this I'm gonna forget this shit is in the back of the refrigerator did I was a jolless yesterday watch the all-star game and and his wife was like he was like what do I do? I remember those cookies, she goes, "Oh, they're in the fridge, just put 'em in the oven." And we're like, "Okay." And I looked at him and was like, "We're never gonna make those." He goes, "Oh, in the oven." They had to be ready or ready. I don't know how hot I know that. - And what that is, it's super dirty, 'cause they have to rinse you off in a river. So I don't want nothing, I gotta rinse off. If me and my mate are giving each other's massages, we're doing it with lotion, so we can just go to bed. With this shit, you gotta, can't do it in a bed. - But you're right there in the river, you can just lay down in it. - And that's why it's convenient in a river. - Is it a house? - It isn't known you go get a massage, and then you're like, back to your t-shirt on, it kind of sticks to you. - Yeah, I don't want to do that shit. - The Asians here? You ever go to the Asian ones here? - You know, I have not in New York, but I have a favorite one in Los Angeles. - Bro. - I forgot what street is on, it's like on L Central and Sunset, it's some shit like that. Right next to Calvin Boyd. I got the Calvin Boyd restaurant right there in the Asian. - And it's a good one. - Man. - They're all pretty good out here. Sometimes you get one that like takes it to the like, no, no, no, no, you need work. I'm gonna let's go. Guys hold my call. I guess I'm not sitting like, okay. - We're speaking of, we did do a Jamaican massage, which was fantastic. We did a couple of some massage. - Yeah. - They get deep. They massage you like they feel your trauma, you know what I'm saying? They're like, oh, you had some shit happening to you and you was like, seven, let me get that out ya. - They have limestone, rock, scrub, and whatever. - Yeah, that's probably that. And tings, probably. - What's tings? What the fuck's tings? - Oh, the shit. - Oh, and things. (laughing) - Oh, the shit. - Dude, I love here, I just, I wasn't in Trinidad also. They just spell it the way they talk. It was like the language, the written language came later. And you're like, what's tings? - That's how I live my life right now. I spell everything the way I talk. - That's great. - Everything. I just text Sullivan to my friend another day. And I didn't see her, he was not showing up for me that day. - Yeah. - So I just was like, S-E-L-L-A-B-E-N-T. Celebrity bitch, I was like, figure it out. - Celebrity. - Celebrity. - Celebrity. What is that, Danny Brown-Lerick? You get a celebrate, my friend locked up, told me to celebrate. - Celebrity. - Yeah, that's a little bit, I don't know, whatever. All right, what else you get into while you're there? - How was that? - So, okay, so my parents got married in Jamaica. So while we were there, it would text us a whole bunch of suggestions. And I forgot what it's called. It's like some type of cafe, I could text my dad in here. - A type of cafe? - Yeah, it's like cafe something. And. - A specific one or a style? - No, it's a specific cafe. I forgot what it's called. I'll text my dad and I'll get it for you. - Hey guys, you know who's cool? - That's right. We're all thinking the same guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger. And you know why he's cool? - Some of you might have the wrong answer here. - No, it's not 'cause he had sex with his maid and had a child with her and raised him as if he was this full-blooded marriage child. It's 'cause while he was dealing with all of you, he was smoking a cigar. So Arnold Schwarzenegger smokes a cigar. He's one that covers cigar-efficient auto. You're new to it. Ooh, that's hot. Probably what that maid did to turn him on. Well, that's where cigars international comes into play. They have the largest selection, unbeatable prices and customer service, experience, a second and none. 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And they, having dance competitions, torque competitions, the women on their heads, the world, they got, they selling food. The drinks wasn't too expensive. The food off the chain. I mean, this lobster is almost like they, and it's on an island. It's literally like the beat, just two feet away. And the lobster was like, they went to the, they just picked one up out the water. And just like, and just, and just came to you. I mean, it was, it's, it's, I'm gonna text my dad right now. No, no, I don't want to, I don't like saying the names of places anyway. Oh, okay, okay. I don't want, I don't want to get it over on the tourist. But it was, it was, it was, you know, and that was, that was one of the things, too, that when you go to the hotel and you're like, "Hey, what can we do?" And they're like, "You could go to this cat face situation "and the shuttle bus will be here to pick you up "at such and such a time." And that was a whole tour date as well. - That is hard when they're like, you want to do this thing, right? You're somewhere, you're like, that sounds cool, Bob Marley's house. Or I was in Vietnam, like, you can go through tunnels and it's like, not, and like, all right, 5 a.m. we pick you up to two hours, and it's like, oh, damn it. - That was a little later. That's why we picked that one over the bottle. - Okay. - So like, with this one, but all of it, but you know how it is when you go out of town, it's like, all of it come as a package deal, you can't just do one without doing the other. - Yeah. - So it's like, in order to get to this cat face, where, you know, ABCD is going on, and that's where you really want to be. You have to get on a shuttle, drive 45 minutes to the-- - They're sure we're the mixed plates in town. And you're like, "I don't care if I fuck about the plates." - I just want to go to the party. Then you got to get on the big fucking yacht. - That's exactly how it is. - And then they got to have a party on a fucking yacht. - To get, just go. And in order to go to the party, you got to take the 45-minute drive, get on a yacht, go snorkeling, get out of the pool, drive off, then they take you to the party. 'Cause the party don't start till 5 a.m. but you can't get them to what the fucking way. - Right, yeah. - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, when we did go to those tunnels, I remember now that it was like this, like ceramics factory. They sell these people that are feeling the effects of like, leftover like, age and orange. So they'll always flipper on people, making like 40 effects, making the ceramics. And like, what about some ceramics? - That's the party. - Yeah, I'm like, what about my ceramics? - That's the shit. - In general, I don't want to buy ceramics. Definitely not this fucking halfway. That's fucking doing it. - No, no, no. - Yeah, this little, I hand it to like, I like three fingers attached to a half arm. And it's like, I have a job. - No, man, I can't do it. (laughing) I don't want to steal it in shit. I mean, you know what I mean? - I know, just take me to the fucking tunnel. Take me to the fucking raft. - It's like, what is going on, man? But it was soup, it was soup. I mean, at the end of the day, when we went to the place, it was super fun. - That's cool. - And don't you miss that shuttle, you miss that shuttle 'cause they ain't doing no head count. - Wow. - They know a buddy system. They know what science is. - They'll just leave you. - Hell yeah, they'll leave you. - I love it. - And now you stuck taking the two-hour taxi for Lord knows how much money. - Did you feel dangerous, forget the gay part? Did you feel dangerous, just dangerous? - There were times, I think there was one time, we was like, let's just take a taxi because we just didn't feel like cooperating with their rules and regulations and their times and stuff. And the taxi driver took us to like, I think some bar or something. But it was, you know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of the scene in "Bad Boys 2" when Martin and Will was in Cuba. And it was the last scene when they were coming, when they were going down to try to get to American soil. It was all of that. So it was like a whole bunch of, it was basically like a neighborhood on a hill where everybody's homes were basically kind of like made of fucking tarps and tents and shit. And then of course, you know, people on a corner, they hustling, they selling, these people might be selling watermelonies. People might be selling coconuts on mangoes and stuff like that. But it was kind of like a neighborhood on a hill. And once we went into that, no, not gay will. [LAUGHTER] It was not the same. OK, go ahead. But it was like, that was pretty much because we did that at night. OK. That wasn't a daytime thing because we wanted to go to the tiller. We wanted to go somewhere other than, because for some reason in Jamaica, the ice melt it weird. It was almost like, it was like, as soon as they poured your vodka soda, the ice went away. It just dissolved into the liquor. So I was like, I don't know if this, and it would drive me insane, because I don't want to drink no water down shit. So I want to go to like a dope ass joint, a nice little bar and see if this theory that I'm experiencing is everywhere or just your resort? Exactly. And it wasn't because the ice melted differently at the other place. It was just really a drink. They were cheaping out in the ice. I think it was-- Was it with the whole in the middle that just kind of like-- Ah, that's weird. It's like, as soon as they put it, I was like, is it just too hot, da-da-da? But as other places didn't happen. No, no, the other place was-- it also, the other place, like a whole in a while too, which I love whole in a while. I'll go to a whole in a while any time. I read that at over a club. I read the whole in a while, then the lounge. Dude, the after-- and I'll have to. parties. I've been to two or three of them or the after after whatever. I saw you there with this at the Shane one. It's so not my scene. It's not my scene. It doesn't look like you're seeing either. Well, you get that. I mean, don't lose why you brought a posse. That's only two I go to make it your scene. Every single weekend somebody's in town. Yeah. Every weekend. I'm in town. Okay. Cool. So if you're in town, ABC go on a come and I didn't mind going to the parties. Like before I got hired, when I before I got hired, like when I got hired and was like prepping to go, you talked to a lot of people that did us now. Excuse me. And they kind of tell you the experience. And one of the things that I learned is when you go to the parties, it's kind of like your courtesy to take care of the people that you wait. So it's kind of like you got to put your cord down kind of people all of the shit. Yeah. I didn't do it all the time, but I tried to look out for the people that did come. Yeah. But also it's like, it's no DJ. No, it's just loud. And everyone's happening looking over. It's just like Montreal. They're all looking around. It's talking, it's talking in a loud place. I can't hear. But also I've been talking all week. And I don't really like the talk. Just don't miss a music on it. Let me vibe and I'm good. You know what they need at parties? They need different vibes for different people. So I get why you'd have a dance floor for the people want to dance. And I get why you'd have a big loud bar for people want to talk and shmue's. How about just a room of like of like sofas with some like some like mellow music plan and some weed, some joints. Everyone just sit and lay back and just like keep the clock and do a minimum light music. You know what I mean? I wouldn't be mad at that. I wish it was like that. If that's your vibe, then I'll go in there. Yeah, an airplane. I wish I wish the head sections of the plan. Yeah. You know, like sometimes even in first class motherfuckers begin on my nerves. I'm like, why y'all so fucking loud? And why are you reading this fucking book? It's fucking midnight, bitch. Turn off that light. That's me. Does you read a book at midnight? No, because it's like they're like, all right, 9.45 p.m. shut the lights off like 9.45 p.m. I just did one spot in New York. And now I got a fucking go to sleep. So I'm just sitting there in the dark for hours. Get moving. Fair, fair. Watch your movie fair. It's just the light drives me insane. I just I just I just wish we could check stuff off before we get on the plane. Are you going to be reading a book check? Do you have a fucking baby? You just should be able to rearrange your seats. Like I get you keep your aisle seat. But if you're saying I'm going to be up late and this guy's going to be up late. Let's move you up there. Let's move this guy back there. And I think I think it could work like that. It could work. And put your preferences. And I'll get it twisted. I I love my dogs. But when I would go on an airplane, I would buy the row the row for my my dog. A big dog. I like a dog too. But I'm like, all right. But now I got to sit like like this because your dog is leaking into my area. And I like your dog. And they can't do anything about it. You just stuck with this fucking big ass dog. The dog doesn't know. He just gets up. This reminds me. I need to call United. I am so fucking pissed right now. Why? I don't remember where I went. But it was maybe about two or three weeks ago. I think I was going to Tampa. I was just sitting down. I'm just on row four. I'm just minding my business and I hear and I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, oh my god. I'm thinking something wrong with the plane. I'm looking outside the window. I'm trying to see what the fuck going on. And then this guy, he's just walking with this big fucking bulldog. And I was like, I was living because I'm like, why is this dog on the plane? You can't let a dog like that on a plane. He's going to do that the entire fucking trip. Now that's just rude. It's rude. It's rude. It's like having a car alarm. And it's like, you got to get it out of here. It's not an excreaming kid. If your kid's polite, take it to a restaurant. Okay. But if it's not polite, you got to take it out of here. It's not your fault. If you have Tourette's, you can't go to a wedding. No. It's not your fault. But you're going to fuck it up for everyone. And it's about knowing yourself. I have Tourette's. I can't come. Yeah, I can't come. I'll meet you guys at the reception. Where I can do that. Yeah. Where I can directs away. Yeah. Fuck. Congratulations on your fucking bitch. Congratulations on your wedding. I'm so excited. You fucking cut bitch. Bitch. I just be trying it. Like I I'm just like I'm one of those people who try my my hardest to be self-aware and public. Like I try to be in tune to making sure I give people that space if we're in the line. Try to make sure if someone's standing right there, I'm not skipping them. Just just all kinds of stuff. But you know, sometimes it's not a lot. They're playing their video game like out loud. You're just like looking at them like, oh my god. She's a ringer in line to DMB. Like choosing. And like, hey, hey, hey, everyone just does this. And they don't get it. They don't do. You know what I you know what I've been doing though? I've been like, you know what today you're going to go outside and be the annoying bitch. Oh, just do because I'm so sick of being the one who's not annoying. Yeah. And being annoyed. Yeah. That's what I can know what fuck it. Just go and make all our own decisions. Yeah. Wait, let's get back to Jamaica. Oh, sorry. No, no, it's my butt. Okay, wait, we got to danger. What were the bathrooms like away from the resort? The bathrooms were like you were going to the restaurant like certain places like what sort of jungle part. Yeah. The bathroom was all center blocks. The center blocks were walls. Okay. Were the walls of the place. It was all like cemented. Okay. Like like a beach bathroom. Okay. Do you feel poor there? Jamaica? You know, um, Jamaica. I guess I guess it's like the US. It's like it had its moments. It had its moments, you know, and it's it's it's the people are very happy there. Okay, that's a good question. I'll say yes. Like there was still happy. I was looking into real estate for a second. Really? Yeah. But I'm like, I'm not going to eat your chicken like this. We're not going to do it because that's their main dish. You know, so I would have to like cook and I don't really sometimes I like to eat out a lot. But the people are super super happy. That's cool. As soon as you get off the plane, they're happy. They're everywhere and some and and with them, like you will get hustled in certain places. And I wouldn't even call it hustles. It's just like people trying to make their money. They're going to tax you. You're an American or wherever you from, you know, from Jamaica. Taxi, that's a really good. But for the most part, a lot of people were just like they just like really cool. They did not suspects. They they're not suspicious. They got nothing going on. They really just literally happy people. Yeah. That's nice. You know, that's cool. I had no problems in Jamaica. There's a couple of questions I want to get back to in these podcast in general. It's what are the what are the observations you made that wouldn't be in a book? The ice melts too fast. It's good when you got to it already. And like how did you find the people? And that's you already said it. That's cool. Yeah. The ice melt away too fast. But that was just the one place. And there was the one place. And yeah, we just, you know, I was with somebody who likes to just talk to the people. See, I don't talk to people, but she'll talk to people and then I'll talk to them. That's nice to have on your travel. Yes. I'm going to take care of the stuff that each have their strong points. Right. You know, I like traveling with chicks to a place because they're willing to do the research. I want us what we're supposed to be doing. There you go. And then I'm like, I'll go. Do do it. I'll pay for it. Yeah. It was up to me. Absolutely. Make a reservation with my credit card. Just find out what I'm supposed to do and we'll just do it. We will. If it's up to me, yeah, sleep. I'll sleep all day. Walk and go to the damn pool. And I'll sit by that pool bar all day. Yeah. Yeah. But sometimes I try to do the romantic thing and be like, okay, look, I made the plans because they like it when you do that type of stuff. But it's very rare. Yeah. It's rare. I can't pay for all the shit and think bitch. Somebody got to think. That's not my job is the thinking and the paying. No, no, just the paying. Your job is the thing. What if you had to do it again, what would you have done differently there? And what would you tell somebody else who's going like, Oh, you got you should do this. We should pack this. You should make sure to, you know, don't make this mistake I made or like, I'm glad I did this. What advice do you give someone? So in first of all, I probably wouldn't do a resort again. Interesting. Why? Because a resort can make you lazy. They, they, they, it's like a, it's like all inclusive. It's all in one and they treat and they get you with the all include not mind you. They did have good lick. Yeah. But all inclusive means you can't go out because you're wasting your double spending exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But I would go to just a regular smuggler. I would never do an Airbnb. I don't trust any Airbnb's ever. Okay. And also what an Airbnb. I don't feel like cleaning up. You come clean up. Right. I'm, I'm not doing that. Yeah. You go to regular what? Like a regular hotel. I would get like a regular hotel. But I would definitely go do like a very, very nice hotel. I'll probably get like a very nice suite. Yeah. Big balcony. Of course, on the beach. Okay. Um, somewhere where the room service is going to be excellent because it's not all inclusive. So they don't have cheap meals because I love room service and especially if it's the middle night. I'm hungry. I want something good. I don't want one of these ragged ass chicken wings. You know what's going on the road is when you get something to give you over the two queens, which is fine. You know, by yourself, two queens, but you take that other bed, put a towel down, you order some room service or uberage something, you just eat it on the bed, just pasta sauce or on the bed, and you sleep in your bed. That's right. That's right. That's right. What's that one question you asked when the answer was dice? What, what were some observations that you made that wouldn't necessarily be like in a travel book? Okay. Jamaica does not have salad dressing. That's exactly the - That's exactly the type of answer. - Okay. - Wow. - Well, well, this particular room service, this hotel did not have Caesar, ranch, balsamic. Fuck, they didn't even have French. They had a mango, some type of mango dressing. And we were like, "Y'all don't have. " And they'll give you the Caesar salad with the fucking mango dressing. And you're like, "You ain't got no Caesar dressing?" And they're like, "Ceaser." - They've never heard of it. - They act like it's such a foreign language. I'm like, "Yes, if you have a Caesar salad, I want the Caesar dressing." - Caesar dressing, yeah. - But no, every dressing come with a mango and it's thick. It's not even like running good, like balsamic. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's, I didn't like it. I didn't like it. - That's funny. - So that's what you're not gonna find in the books, at all. - That's a great one. I gotta start. - Yeah, there you go. - Yes, that's exactly what the fucking look like. - Oh, wow. Creamy, turmeric, mango, vinaigrette. - It was not what was up. - Damn. - And they put that in, it was with every salad. - That's right, that's good, that's good. - That was like, no more salads. And I was pissed because sometimes when I'm traveling, the salad is the only way I get my veggies. - Yeah. - 'Cause I'm not gonna eat the rest of the shit, but I'll fuck up a salad. - Yeah, exactly. - You just gotta like, you gotta get it. 'Cause otherwise, Jack's feeling like, I have laughs. Like, I don't have certain nutrients that I need, you know? Like, he's the only jerk checking. - Meanwhile, me while I'm relying on iceberg lettuce to be the nutrients to that. - The fake ass salader is, you're like, you're not getting anything, you're just getting water. You gotta call the mate. But like, where else is on your list of like, place you wanna go? - You know, I was about to go to Paris because I wanted to go to the Olympics. - Wow. - You still with that chick? - Yeah, but I thought about the chaos of the Olympics. 'Cause I booked my ticket and everything. And I was just like, I don't know if I feel like doing all of this. You know, if you don't have the fast access passes and all that stuff, you don't wanna really be involved in all of that. - Crouch. - And the Olympics is gonna be in Los Angeles in 2020. So, I mean, in 2028. So I feel like, I rather go on some territory that I'm familiar with. - Yeah, so then what else do you think it of? - I honestly want to go to Italy. And my home, I just talked to my home girl the other day, her mother bought her land in Africa. And the land is all soil right now, but she just told me that they have to build fences so that the elephants can stay off of the land. And I'm like, elephants can just come walk up to your home and she's like, in this area, yes. And I'm like, I got to come out there when you build this house. - What? - I love elephants. You know what I just read? Elephants look at humans as if we're tiny babies. - What? - So how we look at babies, how we're like, oh my god, Gucci, Gucci. That's how elephants view us. - 'Cause we're so cute, tiny. - We're so cute, tiny. - That sounds so funny. - To have a fucking elephant coming up to your house in the morning, that shit, but I wouldn't like to deal with the shit though. The elephant shit? - Oh yeah. - Like just right outside your face. - The mushroom's growing off them. - You get mushrooms growing off them. In Thailand, at the animal, at the elephant sanctuaries, the hippies would come in and pick them off, like get the mushrooms. - Oh yeah. - And then they realized like, what are these hippies doing all the time? And they realized they're selling it. Like, oh, beat it, we'll sell them. - We're getting all the mushrooms. - Yeah. - Oh, the nasty filth. - I went to one and I went back to Thailand. I was like, in Chiang Mai, and there were like, some lady was like, I'm going to elephant sanctuary. I was like, oh, I want to one. She goes, was it like a humane one or like a evil one? I'm like, no, a humane one. She goes, did you ride them? I'm like, yeah, she goes, well, that's not the humane one. I was like, oh, well, all right, not humane one. - Yeah, me too, that's right. Because when you say humane, I'm like, yeah, they're fine. - They won't be enough. - I don't know. - And they weren't attacking us. - They were struggling with their weight. - Yeah. Well, that's pretty good. You got any travel tips? You just got start in traveling. - Travel tips. One of my travel tips is have you shit together at TSE? Just have you shit together. You know, they want the laptops out. Top-want tight ass shoes that you got. If you wear tight, I travel with the friend right now. This bitch always wears some damn converse that she got to string up and unstring. And it's like she holds everything up all the time. - I'm stringing ahead of time. - Always just think ahead. Just stop holding people up. You don't want to be held up. - Yeah. - That's nice. - Make sure you pack your charges. Don't forget no damn charges. You don't want to buy no charger in Jamaica. - I like that. Don't forget no damn charger. You don't want buy a fucking hundred fifty dollar charger in another country. But travel tips. I mean, just fucking. - No, it's good. - Just get you a bitch that's gonna make a plan and have some fun. - That's an important one. That's an important one. You're like, "Oh, I'm gonna spend my money." She's the whole itinerary is gonna be set by her. - Yeah. - Women love spending other people's money. - Hey, you go, baby. Take the car. You need to get the shit. Just book the shit. - Yeah. - You know? And take some chances. I mean, you could take a terrible chance. - Yeah. - But-- - Couldn't go wrong. But if it does, did you have any bad experiences at Jamaica? - Not one. I mean, there was some scary experiences where I thought I could come up on a bad experience, but no. - And then it didn't happen. - Didn't happen. - That's a lot of people like that would have been bad if you went there, but like everyone who went there or went down that alley or whatever. They were all fine. So it was just like, seem scary, but not. - Right. - That's a lot of places. - It's a thing of like, you know, be smart. But also, you know, take the fuck. I mean, the taxi that took us, that was a guy that took us from the airport to the hotel. - Remember Pete C? - Yes. - Yeah, pop heat. - He lives in Oklahoma. - Yeah. He COVID, his realization, I've had realizations. - Yeah. - Because I want a doc. I really want a doc. And he got a doc. - He got a doc? - A doc. - Oh, a doc? - Yeah. - For real? - Yeah, he was like, I want a place with like a doc that I could like have a robot or something. - That's what I want to do. I want to move to Virginia. My, I have family live in Virginia Beach. - Yeah. - But he, oh yeah, all the dinosaurs. This motherfucker got money. But I want to move a little bit outside. Like maybe I went in a half a way or something. I want a whole bunch of land. Somewhere about to pick 300,000 for a couple acres. And I want to live in Virginia because I can have monkeys. - You got a monkeys? - Yes. You can have monkeys and exotic animals. - You're nuts, lady. You're fucking nuts. - I'm getting near bubbles. I've been wanting bubbles since I, and you know, bubbles still alive. - No, really? - I think bubbles are like 409 or something. - Wow, this is Jeff Kruhn's bubble, like sculpture. So me and pop heat, or I think Puket, and we're looking down this, this like row. We see this green awning like way down. They're like, yeah, but it's dark. And we're like, I don't know. We just keep looking at it. And we're sort of a main-ish road. And we're looking at some guy. I think he might be as rarely comes up. And he just looks at both of us from behind and goes, you regret the choices you do not make. And I'm like, and we went down there. We were like, damn, deep man. - Oh, so this was like. - He just like some stranger. It was just like our fucking- - He's some type of prophet, that's shit. - I don't like you, right? - Everyone down there, it was just a falafel stand. It was nothing, but we weren't regretting it 'cause we fucking looked at it ourselves. - I probably would've listened to the man, too. - We're like, what the fuck? - And then if we would've gotten to some shit, I would've, I would've blamed. - This was the fucker, the fucker. - Why would you listen to him? Why would you let me listen to him off of a straight little kind of ability, at all? - All right, punk-o. - This was great. - Yeah, thanks buddy. I appreciate it. I mean, we were like, I never really travel, but I'm like, no, this Jamaica trip was fucking rad. It was awesome. - Yeah, I appreciate it because it's like, this is a different type of podcast. It's like, you be trippin', we trippin', we goin' all around the world, we doin' things. - Yeah, it's not real fun. - And we talkin' about different stuff. It's not like an interview of how's your career going and all that. - No shit. - But it's just the same thing. You got an auto pilot. - Yeah, and I'm repeating the same shit all the time. - Yeah, and also it's like, what I like about this is like, well, I've mentioned I went somewhere. I'm like, have we talked about that place for an hour? - Right. - Have you talked about the lime fuckin' messages and the fuckin' and to someone who's interested? - But it's also, it's just like a thing of, I didn't realize I did all of that in five days. - Five days, I think it was six. I didn't realize I did all of that. Well, I actually had a full, abundant trip. - Yeah, that's pretty packed. - And it was worth it. - With some relaxation time at a New Year's party. - Absolutely. Yeah, I think we did six days because the six day we rest. - That's very true. - I like to do that, I like to go on vacation, but like, five days we go and then six rest, travel seven. - Yeah. - I like that. - Did you, how'd you feel when you got back? What was your mood? - I'm always ready to come home no matter what I'm at. - But I mean, like, two days after you got back, do you feel relaxed? Do you feel like whatever that was just a fuckin' thing I did? Or is-- - I'm always like, whatever that was just a fuckin' thing I did. I don't think every place is same to me. - Yeah. - The beach is all the same. I mean, it's like whatever. I don't really have the urge to travel to country. I don't have the urge to go to like Asia, I don't have the urge to go to Puntacana and all that shit. I'll be a fuckin' on that shit. - When I went to DR, Ian Lara told me some stuff. He was like my travel guide, I was converting advice. Oh, I told him, so I went to Boca Chica beach and everyone was like, what the fuck go to Puntacana? Boca Chica sucks, it's better than Farak away. It's a lot better than Farak away. Like, it's trash, you see poop floating in the water. I'm like, yeah, it's Farak away. You guys are fine. But he got mad at me because I was like, yeah, I got this fruit sale on the beach. They made it right there in front of me. It was 10 bucks. You paid asking price? I'm like, I don't know. - Well, there's a fucking sucker. - Yeah. - Which is supposed to be five? - Yeah. - I want to pay 10 bucks for three. - He goes five would've been the most you pay. He goes, they ditch with 10, you hit him back with two. But I didn't have time to do that. For the $8 difference, or $5 difference, I just want to eat that fruit sale. I'm bad. Yeah, good. When you go. the case you gotta expect that fuck the tax yeah get taxed all right punky Johnson you can watch her not alive at any time not on that cell move on to her next project I'm excited about it man y'all tune in yeah I'm so excited about the future man that's great just you know hopefully y'all on my team get up get up on my team man yeah I'll see you at the stand of the seller more oh absolutely absolutely yeah every night nice let's do it baby the best yeah well that was the episode everybody thank you very much punky Johnson for coming in and tell us about Hamika is that what Jamaica it's got to be related because Hamika's spelled with a J I think it's honestly that's got to be related Hamika to Jamaica I am not in Jamaica this is Brazil I gotta be honest I'm very disappointed there's no nobody's showing their pieces off nobody's doing anything watch out it's just like people say this is Brazil but I don't see any fabulous I don't see anybody fucking you know come here I've seen cops I don't see Hobbs fucking getting chased away that's a lot of firepower Hobbs I don't see that all I see is beautiful beaches and people playing this weird couple of different volleyball games in the beach and surfers fucking hey shoot that for a second look at the volleyball they fucking love soccer here okay back to me back to me anyway thank you very much punky for coming and please follow at punky Johnson and follow her podcast gay and ghetto hopefully she starts doing it again I think she stopped in May but maybe she'll start again maybe this pressure right or text message and DM on Instagram and tell it to start her podcast again please follow and subscribe to the you be tripping pod Instagram account Caitlin would like nothing more for you to follow it every week we post extra pictures on there from the episode that maybe didn't make it into the episode so you could really it's just like travel pictures from the guys we don't bug you with much a clip or two and yeah that's it I mean the show doesn't tour so it's just content that's it get yourself a t-shirt and I wish for a cat shirt or what else was there you I think there might still be a go for a hike shirt I'm not sure definitely you'd be chipping shirts available and definitely you'd be chipping stickers stick them up I stuck them up all over the world actually no just the western hemisphere that's it thank you today's episode was edited by Alan cafes produced by your mom's house network next week we got fuck I know it's a good one I know it's a good one next week we got red herds red herds talking about Australia for Australia day their national holiday where they finished off anyone who might revolt against them i.e those people who played the didgeridoo's and they've got their own country thank you very much everybody for tuning in till next week I'm always your fear so long look they just fucking play volleyball all the time not volleyball soccer and then there's the other soccer game that they play with uh let's see what I don't see I love that all fucking playing even the little girls are fucking sick at it I mean sick at it look at this little girl just fucking well she sucks actually that's a bad example yeah anyway watch these motherfuckers they just without his lame okay tell me that chick ain't fucking sick all right that one fucked up all right I might not even film that but what this is brassy yeah okay dude she's got it - Bye-bye.