It’s Okay to Apologize to Your Kids with Serena Williams

Serena, tell us if you feel comfortable about your conception journey. I mean, you-- Well, one thing I-- well, that is a definitely-- I've never had that subject. Yeah. That's kind of intimate. Well, you know, it's true. Well, but we're with moms. And this is only going to air to millions of people. It's just between us girls. Well, we were in Rome. [LAUGHTER] And-- [LAUGHTER] This episode is brought to you by Chase Home Lindy. Hey, there. Hi there, moms. Hey, Serena, girl. Hey. What's happening? First of all, let me start by thanking Steve and Connie Balmer and the entire LA Clippers organization for hosting us today. They are wonderful. Let's give them a round of applause. And you guys have been great partners to us personally. And we are incredibly grateful to be working with you. So thank you. We're here today to talk about my favorite subject, motherhood, with some of my favorite people, mothers. Right? And what better guess to have? Not just one of the greatest athletes in the world, but one of the greatest mothers in the world, because we're backstage. And I'm like, how the girls? And this one, you can't even say their names without just feeling it, right? Yeah, they're pretty special, pretty special. So we're going to talk about motherhood, our motherhood journeys, and so much more. But I want to begin with just a fundamental question. I don't know about you. I've done a lot in life. I have accomplished things, degrees, and all the things. And I always knew that I wanted to have a career. I wanted to have an impact. But the one thing I always knew I wanted to be was a mother. For sure. I mean, it is the most important thing. And I knew that from a long, long time. And that's not always true. We all come to motherhood in different ways for different reasons. And there is no right way to be a mother. That's for sure that's all I've learned. But I'm wondering, Serena, did you feel that way? Did you always want to be a mother? Yeah, actually, I've always wanted to be a mom. I didn't know there's a lot of things involved with becoming a mom. But I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. Even when I was young, playing with my dolls, I was always the one that just wanted to have kids. So it's always been something that I've always knew throughout my life. I didn't know when, you know, I just didn't know. When it was going to happen, but I always knew that there was one goal that I just definitely wanted to reach, and that was becoming a mom. Yeah. And then you start trying to be a mom, which I did. And what I was never told was that the biological clock was real. And I try to tell a lot of young people that a lot of young women at that clock is real. And Barack and I were married in our late 20s, took our time hanging tough. And then we started working on conceiving. I got pregnant once in miscarried, which was devastating. And then we tried and tried and tried. And we had to do IVF for both girls, which becomes-- it's more of a thing than I knew then. I think more young women are talking about their conception journey that it's not always guaranteed. But Serena, tell us if you feel comfortable about your conception journey. I mean, you-- Well, one thing I-- well, that is a definitely. I've never had that subject. Yeah. Well. But we're with moms. And one thing led to another. And then nine months later. So-- But you were pregnant while you were still-- Yeah. --where you were trying. No, I wasn't trying to have a kid at the time. But-- But you were not trying, clearly. Apparently. But you know what's so interesting about what you said about the biological clock. I tell all my friends of age, freezer eggs. Because I just feel like that is the best thing that you can do as a woman as you decide to go on this journey. Like, I feel like-- I did that. And I-- You first-- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I froze my eggs. And I felt like once I did it-- because I was still playing professional tennis. And, you know, I felt like I wasn't ready to stop. And I wanted to keep going. And, you know, it just wasn't time. And then all of a sudden, all this pressure came off of my shoulders. Like, it was just all this weight just fell off my shoulders once. I did that. Then I told-- ever since then, I told everyone to do it. And so when-- How old were you when you-- I was in my 20s. So I was like 27, 28. So it was a really good time to do it. And also, someone told me to do it. So I always felt like it was really important for me to pay that forward. Because then nowadays with technology, there's just so much that you can do-- Yeah. Like you said, even with IVF, which, you know, is also such a great journey as well. And, you know, I just felt like-- I just felt so much better-- I just felt so much better that I actually had that option. So, yeah, so that's what we were able to do as well. I mean, there's so much pressure on women just to-- I mean, you know, if you don't get that part right, there's still a feeling that something is missing. I don't know about all of you. But I know that when I struggled to conceive, I took that on like a personal failure. I mean, I don't think that we have that conversation enough about how many times that either you conceive and you have a miscarriage or whether you conceive and it doesn't work. So I feel like the only times it's work when you're not trying to conceive. That's right. It just-- I think that's just a really important part of just being a woman and just all these things. I'm all about just breaking down these walls and talking about the uncomfortable and uncomfortable and talking about things that-- So you could tell us more about Rome, but it's OK. Not that. Now, that's a different type of conversation. I wasn't sure we were here for that. So it was-- I don't know. I just feel like a lot of people aren't really-- women aren't really open. Like it's kind of like, you know, like menopause and perimenopause. Like so many-- like my mom's generation, no one's open about that conversation. My mother said she didn't remember. I was like, you're lying. Exactly. Or it didn't bother you. And my mom said, you know, that was nothing. Yeah, right. It's never nothing to them. And I'm just like, but now I think this generation is all about it. Like the more you know about it and the more you can just tell people about it, like I try to tell everyone about it. I tell my friends, listen, I started a prednisone. Why not? And it helped me sleep better and helped me do it. And they're like, really? I hadn't done that. I'm like, girl, you better do it. I hear you. So, and you know, I'm all about just talking and having real raw open conversations. Because I think it's so important not to hide what all of us go through. That's absolutely right. It doesn't matter what color you are or how far you are. It doesn't matter. We're all going to go through it. So I think it's so important to have those conversations. So back to the kids. I think that too is just like, you know, it's important to say like, you know, this didn't work out for me or this is how I had my kid, you know, or this is what I did. And this was my journey. And then it also helps you feel more like, oh, it's OK. Yes. Like, oh, I, you know, one thing when I was pregnant, I checked my underwear every single time I went to the bathroom. I mean, sure, we all did that at some-- Is it still there? Exactly. It's like when no one talks about that. Because it's just a natural-- it's almost like a natural reaction. It's so true. Yeah. It's like, because you just have stressed the entire time you're pregnant until you actually-- you're the baby, but then you have a whole other stress. That's right. But it's just like just you know having those conversations. I am so with you one of the reasons why I like to be open and honest is because we didn't have that necessarily. And the truth is is that we don't pay enough attention to women's health. There's so much we don't know about our bodies, so much that doctors don't share with us, even the issue of conceiving and freezing eggs. If you don't have the right doctor at the right time, you may not get that information. I still know young women who aren't thinking about freezing their eggs because nobody mentioned that to them. So it becomes, do you have the right doctor? Are you in the right location? If you get mad later, you can still use those eggs with your husband. It doesn't, like it's just so you just have so many more opportunities and options and so I don't know for me I was really happy that I did it. 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Maybe he took the jacket off, but he was a gentleman, a, a Pullman porter. He sure was. And had that push lawnmower. Yeah. It was never the electric one. Which is why he told me not to cut the grass right after rain because that thing would have never cut anything. But we learned a lot about home ownership because uncle Terry was the first homeowner that we lived with. Yeah, we know. Yeah, you know, it's the small comforts, connections and local support that make a house feel like a home. Wherever your journey takes you, we hope you find a place that feels just right. With chase home lending, you can move forward with confidence knowing help and real value are always close by all the way home. Visit chase.com/IMO to get started. There's no commitment and no impact to your credit. Remember FDIC equal housing opportunity. So then you got pregnant and you were you were in a grand slam tournament when you when did you what? I mean, okay, can you walk us can you walk us back to when when you found out. And because you were pregnant when you won the Australian Open and Yes, I had no intention of winning. Yeah, but just for the right. You were just I'm just here. This is one time I can lose and not be upset about really. No, because I remember thinking so it all started in New Zealand. I was playing a tournament before the Australian Open and New Zealand and I'm not the most positive person on the court. If anyone ever followed my career, everyone was making fun of Coco. Everyone see that? I know, right? Oh, can you smash that in one go? Like I'm like, hello? Coco, you can do better than that girl. Better than that. And then of course all the someone started pulling up all the pictures of the rackets. I was like, wait, when is this a serena roast? I was just trying to support her. Just trying to help the girl out. Get off my back. So anyway, I was at this tournament with the famous attitude that I may have had sometimes. And I just had a bed. I just lost with this girl that I just I shouldn't have lost to. And I just remember I was just so mad. It was windy and I was mad at the wind and it was the ball kid. I was mad at the ball kid and I was so angry with everything. I was so mad. And I sure I smashed the racket. I was miserable. Yeah. And even in the presser afternoon, we all know about pressers. Oh my God. I said, I hate this work. I never did this in my life. I said, I hate this. I'm never coming back. It sucks. I was miserable. So then next week, I'm in Australia and I'm working out and I'm not. I'm like, why am I breathing so hard? Why are I breathing more anyway? Eventually, I also, my booze were massive, massive, massive. And I was like, okay, I'm just going to take a test. And I took a test. It ended up, it was positive, but I was like, okay, this is crazy. And so anyway, so I ended up going to the doctor and he's like, oh, surprise, you're like, I like, what am I like four weeks pregnant? Oh, you're seven weeks pregnant. Wow. And I was like, what? What? What? Excuse me. It was crazy. But then it all made sense. So that, I mean, I was really, that was the worst of one. Oh, probably one of the worst of the worst. And you were pregnant those other times. I was thinking about being a mom. I always wanted to be a mom. Yeah. I was probably in the back of my head. So, so yeah. So then I was like, oh my gosh. So then I thought to myself, wow, self, what are we going to do? Uh-huh. And so, self, self, there's a baby in here. And did you already commit it to play at the open? Yeah. And I was supposed to play doubles. So I pulled out of doubles. And Venus didn't tell me anything. But later on she said, when you pulled out, I knew you're a pregnant. I'm like, how? You didn't tell her? No, because I also felt really bad because I was just like, I didn't want to pull out. And I didn't want her to be stressed. And then it was, it was, it was crazy. I couldn't, you know, just didn't want to stress anybody out. So, um, one of my sisters knew and the baby daddy named my husband. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good. And my agent knew Jill. Uh-huh. So we just kept it then, but apparently Venus knew too. So she told like, earlier, it was like on the third round in the locker room. She's like, she told me and I was like, oh, okay. And then I felt bad in the final because I was like, I always felt bad. It's always like she probably wanted to make take it easy on me because she's always protecting me. Yeah. So I was like, I wish she, I really wish she hadn't known. Yeah. Because then maybe, I don't know, maybe it would have been different. Maybe it wouldn't have. But still, I just like to be super fair with whoever I'm playing. Oh. So yeah. So that's kind of how it happened. And then at the end, I was nine weeks pregnant. And then, whoa, it was nuts. So how'd you feel through? I mean, I was exhausted. I remember playing the points. And so, so most of us are just in bed. You know, we had a plan. We're not like breaking brackets. We're just in bed. I had her sleep for that. But I remember thinking to myself, I can't play a long point. I need to finish after, you know, three shots and I have to be done. So I hit, like, I was like, I had to hit lots of winners and lots of faces and which is an insane. You were on a mission. But I hadn't planned on winning. But every, every time I kept winning, I was like, oh, I can beat her. And then, you know, and I was like, oh, I can beat her. And then it was like, oh, I got to beat her. But she pissed me off. So she got to go down. There was only one or two of those. So you just, you just revenge your way to the title. Oh, girl. And then it was another one. I can't. It's her. I mean, I have some sort of pride. So that's how that's how it happened. Yeah. Wow. So did it feel extra good that you were able to listen. I was saying so I couldn't have long points. So if I had a really long point, if you go back and watch the footage, I would lose the next point. And of course, it's only my opponents don't get that they don't get to understand that rhythm because that's normally not normally how I play. But you know, when you're getting every eventually, you'll see that after a long point, Serena loses the next point. So you have to grab your breath. Yeah. But I also have to keep a face on that doesn't let anyone know that I'm, you know, exhausted, like surely can't breathe. But a woman can do anything. Amen. Amen. Especially with the help of God, do everything. Amen. And I knew I was having a girl because I'll surely get really hot. If we do cells, they do Celsius. So it was like 43 is like 120. And one day I had to play in 43 and I was like, no way. There's no way. And that's what I knew I'm [BLANK_AUDIO] because I said to myself, "No way, can a boy make it." They just, "Sorry, y'all, I genuinely said it in you." I genuinely said, and I told my husband that day, "We're having a girl, there's no way a little boy could handle everything in this baby under." And we had a girl. That's right. Olympia was just like, "Mom, we're cool." Yeah, so I got you, I'm hanging on. I'm hanging in there. I wish you'd just win this point. But you know what, she has a bad attitude like me. Oh, she gets angry if she doesn't win. She gets so mad. Well, we don't call that a bad attitude. We call that competitive detourment. Thank you. OK, we call that competitive. Yes, that's what we-- yes, no, that's what we call it. That is not bad attitude, because it's a man. Because I've been that way. Yeah, well, they told me for years it's a bad attitude. Yeah, I love this. But guess what? I'm getting some good insights, man. We're both the youngest. And there's something about that determination, I believe. And I see it in my youngest. We have two girls. And I think when you're keeping up, I know I felt like my brother would deliberately learn how to play a game, go off, and then go, Mish, let's play. And I'm like, dude, he was just going to beat me down. What's the age difference? It's a year and a half. It's almost two years. And so I'm always losing, you know, and trying to keep up. And after a while, you just get pissed, you know? So I think there is a young, good child determinant in that. Absolutely, for sure. Yeah, but that doesn't explain Olympia because she's the oldest. I know. OK. I think it was just the situation that she was in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a little bit from it. That's OK, though. So your labor and delivery experience was also a journey. Yeah, that was a talk about it. That was a journey. I have these issues with my blood. So I have my blood can clot pretty easily. So I have to be on certain type of medicines, especially if I'm pregnant. I have to always take injections every day. So when I had the baby, after I couldn't breathe, and I kept telling the lady the nurse, I kept saying, I can't breathe. And she was like, oh, well, you'll be fine. I said, no, actually, I think I need to get a CAT scan because I feel I think I have blood clots in my lungs. And you're in the hospital. I'm in the hospital. You had the baby. You had a C-section. I've already had the baby. I had a C-section because she wouldn't come out. I knew I was going to have to have a C-section. So I just-- I just felt like I feel a lot. And I don't know, three months in. I was like, I'm having a C-section. And so when they told me I had to have a C-section, I wasn't surprised. And I went with the plan. And also tell women now, I say, listen, definitely if you want to push, go for it. I wish I could have done it. But also, if the doctor tells you they have to cut, do it. Because I've seen so many kids. I think it's so effective because women want to stick to their plan of a must push. I must push. And I've seen kids come out unfortunate and even die because they didn't follow the doctor's. Well, that's another thing that women take on. That birth has to look a certain way. And I for one was like, I went in five centimeters dilated. I thought about natural birth. For literally the conversation I had with my doctor that said, OK, it was like eight. And I said, well, how long is it going to take? How long am I going to have to be in this kind of pain? And she said about four hours. And I was like, no. [LAUGHTER] Stick that needle right in my back. I think I could have done it if she had set an hour. Right? If she had said this baby's coming in an hour, I'm like, OK, I can do it. Before hours, I was like-- So, I mean-- I applaud the women that can do it. Well, it's wonderful. Yes. Yes. It's not me for you. But I'm not heard about something called the ring of fire. Oh, yes. I know. I never want to meet the ring. Meet me. I don't know. See, I'm always like, would you get your tooth pulled without anesthesia? Is there anybody here? Would a man do that? Definitely not, no. I know. You're going to be the butt of all the managers. Yes. He's handling it well, though. Steve, over there, cracking up. You know y'all are weak. [LAUGHTER] [INAUDIBLE] So anyway, so I told the nurse that. And she just was like, this is crazy talk. Which may have sounded like crazy talk. For me to tell them what exactly, quote unquote, what I needed and how I needed it. And then I started coughing so hard. So all my stitches just burst open. Because I couldn't breathe. And so I was holding a pillow on my stomach. And I was just coughing. Because I was just like, they're going to break. They're going to break. And I couldn't breathe. So I was just coughing, coughing, coughing. They broke. And that had to have that redone. I think I had five surgeries. And that-- I don't know. I don't remember some of them. And then my doctor came in and I was like, I can't breathe. I think I need the CAT scan. And this is like after I'd already told the nurse. And then-- because I remember my husband's parents were there. And I was in the room and they were talking. And they were holding the baby. And I calmly walked-- because I'm, again, I'm very calm. And I calmly walked back. And I was like, I don't want anyone to panic. And that's when I told the nurse, I can't breathe. I was just like, you know, help me out here. And she didn't take me serious. So then when the doctor came, I was telling her, I couldn't breathe. And she was like, OK, I could look at her and tell that I don't know if she believed me, but she did everything I asked. And I was really grateful that I had her. And that she was with me for the whole pregnancy journey. And it's so good to have a doctor that can-- the wisdom to you. And you might say things that don't make sense. But still, she heard me. She listened. And then she had-- and listen, I wouldn't be here. And she made sure that she did what I asked. And then she found exactly what I said. So it was-- then I had to have another surgery to get something in my veins to stop clots from going to my heart. I had so many surgeries of us. How long were you in the hospital after you delivered? It wasn't that long. It was only like eight days. And you had that many surgeries in eight days. It was crazy. And then you had to go home with a baby. And I remember-- my only goal was to be able to walk to the mailbox. Because I was like, yeah. And one day I walked to the mailbox, and I came back, and I passed out for the rest of the day. It was very intense. I remember watching the documentary that journeyed-- that followed your comeback. And it really moved me to see you. Because it showed you and you and the family leaving with Olympia in the carrier. And you were determined to carry her. But it was clear that you were struggling. Yeah, it was really struggling. It was really struggling. You were not the Serena Williams. Everybody knew. But I also was very proud of you for showing that story in anyone who hasn't-- remind me that the name of that. I was being Serena. Being Serena, this is like watching her journey and her comeback. You show it all in a way that is so powerful. And if I didn't love you before then, I loved you even more, just watching your determination to get that baby home regardless of your health. But you were struggling. Yeah, I was really struggling. But I also had some great help. And sometimes, family is so important. And not everyone has family. And so I just felt so grateful that I did have that at my husband and at my family. And then-- because I don't remember the first three weeks. Because I remember my husband's sister came to visit. And she told me like a year later. And I was like, I think you remember you there. I would have never remembered it when she hadn't reminded me. I was like, oh my gosh. Everything was just so, it was a lot. But it was good. And I think that everyone has their own journey. And I was blessed to have my journey. And the more I talk to women, the more I understand and see that everyone's journey is not everyone, but a lot of women's journey is so intense. Yes. And often worse than mine. Giving birth is intense. Which is why-- And why? Keep on the line. It is why maternal health should not be a political football. Because what our bodies do, what we are capable of doing, is amazing. But the fact that there isn't research done on maternal health, there's a limited amount of information we get about our health. We aren't encouraged to ask questions. We aren't encouraged to talk amongst each other. And I just want us to vow today, regardless of our generation, that we don't pass that down to the next generation. We owe them the knowledge. the wisdom. Does we want to know? Yeah, I mean, everyone wants to know. And they don't want to know if they don't know. Yeah, it's funny. So it's just like, knowledge is power. And it's like when you go to school, you would never know the things that you learn unless you're taught those. You weren't asked to learn about so many subjects, but you learn about them. And I feel the same way about our us and our health and passing on that knowledge. And I think it's just so important. So we're back in LA for another round of IMO recordings. And it's all star weekend. I know. How's how's your trip going? You know, really well. And Kelly and the kids are here. So we're going to try and check out some of these all star activities. Yeah. You know, it's been a busy time at home with the boys basketball schedules. And we've got a busy week of recordings here in LA. So it's always nice having a relaxing place to stay while I'm here. I know what you mean. I mean, I don't have that issue, but I know from from your experiences that when you're on the road, you got to have a place that feels kind of like home. Exactly. And this this time, my Airbnb has a steam shower, a fireplace. But me, I know you've got quite a busy schedule of your own. You and Barack are prepping for a really big week of events. The grand opening of the Obama Presidential Center in June, right? Yeah. Yeah. We are so excited about the opening. The art in it is amazing. And we can't wait to share it with the community and with the world. That's so great. And I'm sure Chicago will be seeing a lot of visitors that week, including myself and my family with Airbnb local hosts can offer those travelers a proper welcome. And with visitors arriving from all around the world for a big event like this, it's even more important that people have some comfortable places to stay. So if you've got a place you're not using during a big event in your hometown, consider becoming a host on Airbnb. It's a great way to make some extra money and a fun way to share your city with fellow fans. Your home becomes part of their experience and you get to help make their weekend feel even more memorable. So Chicago can't wait to see it in June. See you there. Well, let's turn to your mother because so much, everybody talks about your dad and the relationship with your dad. And your mom sits in those stands in a way that I could never see. I mean, I just couldn't watch my kids play. But she was always there. I had opportunity to meet her briefly. I think we were in Wimbledon for the Olympics. Yes, yes, yes. And I was there representing the United States for whatever reason. What sport was good? Did you get a medal? I did not. I got no medal. Oh, but you did. You got a few. But I met your mom. Talk about your mom, you know, tell us about that amazing woman and what you've learned from her as a mother. Well, my mom is a very strong woman. She's definitely not sharing all this information. Yes, really came from that generation where mine either. Yeah, Marion, but it's like, don't remember anything. Yes, she's very tough. My mom's very tough. And she's actually the oldest of her siblings. So she's always been a mom. And you know, it's interesting to be something that you've always been and then to grow up and to become a mother. And then she also took care of our grandkids. So well, her grandkids. So my mom, you know, growing, I'll start growing up. Growing up, I wasn't the best tennis player was always Venus who was so great. And so I was demoted to my mom's court because my dad, Venus, Venus always played with my dad. And because he was better than my mom, he actually taught my mom. My mom must have been an incredible athlete to learn how to play really that fast. And so from there, I would always be on her court. And so I always wanted to be on my dad's court because he was more easygoing and he was more fun. People always think obviously. He was easy. Yeah, really. Yes. So on my mom's court, there was no games. I had to be serious and I had to be do all this stuff. But then looking back, I was able to see that she was able to instill so much mental toughness that I had that my sister actually and did not end up getting because I had to do so much. I had to work so hard. I had to do so many more things on her court. Like there were no games. It was so serious. Like it was just, it's, I was very, in the end, I was very grateful that I had that time with her to just focus on technique and focus on just not letting anything go because it really showed up in my game as a professional athlete and mentally and physically. And so that came from my mom. And so my mom, then she traveled with us. Actually, the first tournament I ever won, we had to split again. My dad was with Venus and I was with my mom in Paris. And it was my first time when I think I was like 16 and I remember we shared a room because I love Paris. So I remember like we were at this hotel on the other side of the song, the river. And I remember that we shared a room and she as she had the bed and I slept on the cot because I love sleeping on a cot. Okay. All right. That's who you can use. Serena Williams loves a cot. Yeah. And I remember every night, I wanted to watch cartoons every night. I don't know. Because you guys were big cartoon people. You liked it. By the way, I loved it. I was going to like blame that on the kids, but no, I was still a big kid. Yeah. So I was still pretty young. I still had an excuse. And so she didn't mind. And so like she made, she watched it with me every night. And so such a good memory and it's a good moment. I remember every night after I would win a match because I always played this. I was in France and I played, oh, my whole draw was French people. And the stadium was probably the size of this room, but it was loud, loud, loud, loud, loud. And so every time I played, everyone was massively against me naturally because I'm playing their country person. Nothing personal. It was crazy. And so every night I come home like, wow, I can't believe I got through that. And every night. So I just got to shut off my brain. We were watching some animated something. And then and then that was that. And so eventually when I won, I was just remember being so happy. And then I remember we called Venus and she we've had in one. So she played another match and she won her tournament. And so we both won different tournaments. And we were so happy. And so so then you fast forward a little bit more. We start winning grand slams. And my mom was there for all the grand slams. And our first Olympics was actually in Sydney. And my mom was there. My mom is also very clumsy. One time and she loves sweets. So one time we were at Wimbledon and we see this woman hobbling her along the road. And I'm like, Mom, what happened is my mom. Oh my God. What's going on? You need to see a doctor. I'm good. I'm going to get some cookies. When you just drive past and she's happy. Yes. Why aren't you at the house? I need some cookies. I want like, are you old? You were not okay. She had a broken toe. But she was going to get a cookie. And she used to always hide cookies under the seat when we were drawing. She's taught cookies. My dad would be like, why are all these cookies? So she definitely has a sweet tooth, which is kind of funny. But it's I have so many good memories in my mom. What was it like being coached by your mom? So how did that being coached your was that always good was because we got a lot of moms out here probably did their share of coaching. How did your mom maintain that sort of special mom relationship? Or did she? So I think what a lot of people don't realize is that we travel every time we went to Australia, probably actually every time we went to France, my mom was always there. My dad actually never went to those tournaments. And so she was always our coach for all that time. And so I don't know how many Australian opens I've won. A lot. Yes. So she basically coached me through all of them. And I remember one time when I was 89 in the world and everyone had written me off. I was like 20 something. And they said I would never win again, blah, blah, blah. And she told me before in the final, before I played, I think I was playing Maria in that final Maria share, but she was like, she said, you've got this, you're going to do that. She told me exactly how to play. And I won in less than an hour. And it was really genius. So she actually was a very great coach. And she'll say little things. My mom is not someone that that's going to fill a room. She's going to say one word but it's gonna be the most powerful word in the room and that's it and so she'll say one thing like you need to attack the forehand if it's low or there's something but you have to listen and if you listen you can catch on to it and you can be like okay and that's the kind of person she is even in life you know she always says like one the about raising my kids she'll be like you need to be with those girls yeah and so no matter what's happening in the world or what we're all going through I always remember I got to be with those girls you know because she was always there with us and now the looking back like she never spent a day away from us all the girls yeah and so and then she's like also the kind of person like my sister unfortunately passed early on and she's the kind of person that I remember when she found out like we all were just traumatized she just dropped everything and she moved to LA actually and then she took care of the grandkids and she raised them and she never moved back so that's the kind of person that she is she's very she's used to responsibility yeah and she has a lot on her shoulders but she's so proud to carry it and then now she's instilled that into all of our daughters to just carry that power to carry that strength and to pass it on to our kids and to my kids and and all the other grandkids so it's it's really she's an amazing person yeah that's beautiful that's the quick version yeah it's so much that I can say about my mom but she's really the last thing I'll say uh-huh is yeah we do talk about our dad a lot and my we wouldn't be here without our dad yeah obviously obviously wouldn't be here with our mom but I've always described my mom as if my I always described us like this my dad is the body because it was his vision it was his goal it was his dream but my mom is a spine you cannot function without that spine the nerves that come from it the nervous system you can have a dream you can have everything all set but it's not going to work unless you have that part of you yeah and so that's kind of how I describe my mom yeah yeah so what kind of mom are you are you a spine like mom I always ask this question a lot about parenting philosophy because I think one of the things I admired most about my mom you know my mom didn't go to college my parents were working class folks she was the middle of seven but my mom was so emotionally intelligent and she had such great common sense just like just like your mind wouldn't have to say much but everybody wanted to hear from her um and one of the things that I learned from her was that you know you just don't have kids you have to understand that you're raising people and so her approach to raising us was to talk to us like who she wanted us to be later on you know she didn't treat us like baby she loved us dearly but she believed that all kids are born with a level of intelligence and ability and she treated us that way so she taught me like as I grew up I was like my mom had this really deep philosophy about parenting you know stuff you learn in sociology and psychology classes just came naturally to her so I kind of think about parenting as this huge responsibility to think about where am I trying to get my girls not how I feel in the moment so I always wonder what folks parenting philosophies are um and and do you think you have one and how would you describe your your mothering approach so Venus is a planner she writes everything down even when she got married it was just boom everything was just over oh it was a lot yeah right to be honest don't worry this is kind of full circle so she was always a person that read books like that would get through everything like would know exactly what she wants to do so I I think I'm different I don't have like a like that plan yeah I never had like a philosophy I just as organized as I am in my life yeah like to a point where everything is labeled my parenting skills is different I kind of feel like obviously I have spiritual goals for the kids I have you know ideas for education goals I have those types of things but I never really thought much about over I don't my philosophy is just to be the best that I can to show up and to also be I felt like I love my parents and how they raised us and just kind of pick and choose out of the some of the things that they that they raised us with in particular with my mom how she raised us so for me I really try to be a present parent and sometimes that's hard especially with the lives that we live is very hard to be present but I try to be extremely present how do you manage that I mean everything is around my kids like if it's like if I have to do something it I never more I'm gone more than 24 hours ever normally I didn't leave Olympia until she was six for 24 hours so that was that may have been a little extreme but I that's who I am and so for me I show up every as much as I can every single day for the for the girls because I feel like they mean the most to me and I feel like they need me and they they need to make sure I want to raise my children yeah I'm a person that's raising my kids and that's teaching them how I want them to live and how I want them to be that's beautiful so like me you have two girls yes and I wanted to copy you yeah you're so inspiring today and three years apart wait a go how is that too I always thought I was gonna have three boys I don't know why you know I don't know why I always thought I was a I was a bit of a tomboy when I was younger I could see you with some yeah I followed around my brother I love boys I thought they were funnier than girls I've learned you guys you have some qualities as she looks at Steve again so I always thought I was gonna be the sports mom the you know and then I have these two girls and I am so grateful for my little women and they are just amazing grown women now 28 and 24 out in the world and I can tell you I have loved every second of mothering every second but it's just interesting the same gender to girls and I talked to my friends who have boys and their like boys are definitely different you know I'm like Malia and Sasha could sit and color for hours we could get on a plane and I talk mothers of boys you all laugh at that right I mean they sit and read and color and you can talk to them and there's no throwing anything I don't think we had a lot of balls around the house then I go to my brother's house who have nephews and they would come to visit at the White House and they just walk in sweaty you know I mean I was like why are they wet you know you just got here and they come in damp and just throw cars and balls all on the first floor of the White House and I'm like oh this is different but anyway I digress your precious little ladies how are they how how does it feel being a mom to daughter yeah I've as you know I've always wanted to be a mom I've only wanted girls I could have 10 girls I would be happy I grew up with four sisters yeah so I was the fifth sister I've never been around boys yeah so when I got pregnant actually had a quick panic attack I was so certain it was a girl uh but when they took the blood to do the blood test I was like oh my god I don't know what to do if I have a boy I've never been around boys and I'm really like I was going crazy I was like I can't have a boy and so I remember I'm not so I have no I was like I don't know what to do um yeah so that that's all I know is girls and I just always want a girl I've always been growing up I always were dresses I was that girl with the princess yes you're twirl you know twos like that was all me and so yeah oh I love dressing them up they're actually right now I think Olympia's wearing a Moulin dress as we speak of course because they're a Disney world and so she must be in Milan yes my idol the little one is wearing an on a dress oh okay so I'm like oh can you go buy them nor dresses please so I'm like oh that I'm just yeah so my older daughter is very much like me, like very much, like, girly, girly, girl. And my younger daughter is somewhat like me. I always describe her as like a, she'll wear a princess dress with tennis shoes. - Okay, yeah. - Yeah. - It's so much sure. - It plays with cars. - Yeah, okay. - What are my sisters play with cars a lot? So she reminds me a little bit of her. She loves hot wheels. (laughs) But she'll wear hot wheels while wearing like a Rapunzel dress. Like where's my DR dress? - Yeah, I mean the Corvette. - I love it. (laughs) And Olympian, I have never, is Olympia's five years older than Adira? So we never played with cars and stuff. So we're all like, oh, this is actually really fun. (laughs) So Olympian are always playing with Adira's toys. Like, oh, look, we can go. (laughs) So it's nice that we have a little bit of a mix like that. - It's really fun. - Yeah. (upbeat music) - This episode is brought to you by Apple Gift Card, the perfect way to celebrate graduates and empower them for their next adventure. 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Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join way fair rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com or shop the way fair app for all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com. Way fair every style every home. (upbeat music) - How do you balance your parenting philosophy with your husband? How are you? - What did you learn from him about parenting? - So one thing I love, he's a, and this is a positive word now. - Okay, yes. - He's a nerd. - Okay, yes, it is very much positive. - Especially a nerd with a job. - Yes, we love nerds. - We love nerds. - Nerds pay the bills. - So he's all about explaining. - Uh-huh, okay. - So he'll like a lot of explaining. - Yes. - So he'll like, so Olympia does something. He'll like to Olympia, like, okay. So, you know, why do you think you're learning about this? And then he goes into this whole reason as to why. And I'm like, mm, that's good. So I like how he, I like how there's like a balance. - Yeah. - So he like kind of gives her the reasons and she understands, like, you know, she'll ask a question about something. He'll go in a deep version about it, but it's nice 'cause then she gets that knowledge and she really, you know, really gets it. And then for me, my philosophy is like, what do you like to do? How are we gonna do this together? You know, it's super important not to ever diminish what he's doing as the man of the house. He wanna make sure that you're always uplifting him. That's my philosophy. So I always meant to make sure that we're on the same page. - Yeah. - And also with things that I want, like I want the kids to, you know, do this to whatever sport or to go to this school or, you know, just coming together for those decisions. So yeah, so I feel like we work very well in that part. - That's great. It's great. I always say, you know, you can have one kid and, you know, swear you're a good parent. It's like, I got this. Look at me. I know all the things. And then you have the other one. (audience laughs) And, you know, they just, kids, babies, they come into this world as their own individual cells. Truly. And that, it's a beautiful thing. I mean, like snowflakes, really. But it can be a challenge if you think that, you know, one size fits all in parenting, yeah. - As a parent, when I make a mistake, I make sure I say sorry. - Absolutely. - Because it is important for, first of all, to have that humility and to teach my daughter's humility. And second of all, I never went them to think that I can, a mom can't apologize to someone younger. - Absolutely. - So I've been wrong a few times with Olympia and I am the first to tell her you were right. I didn't do that right, you were, I'm sorry. And so it's just, I think it's a good practice for me and hopefully maybe someone else. But I feel like it's a very good thing to do. - I totally agree. And I've apologized a lot. Raising kids in the public eye, you know, I mean, we both have done it. It just makes the process 10 times more unnerving because you worry that your kids can't make mistakes because everybody, it's gonna be on page six, you know. I mean, we would have those kind of conversations about, you know, you have to, our girls had to learn to think like com's people, like com's directors. And at a very young age, and it served them well today. I mean, they are very poised, very mature, but it's a lot of pressure that they didn't ask for. - Yeah. - How are you approaching the public nature of who you are, how you live, how are you thinking about that at this age and the girls' life? - So that's one thing that I try to do. And I will never as public as you. I can't imagine a scrutiny that you guys had to go through especially the children every single day. So for me, I try to, I just try to make sure that my children are very normal. I pretty much live under a rock. I live in a very small town in Florida, where I can go anywhere and it's normal because Michael Jordan also lives there. - Yep. - Sort of like, everybody's like, "We all want to go to this magical place." - Where you can run into Serena and Michael. - At the 7/11. - Entiger. - We're not gonna divulge where that is, 'cause everybody's gonna be there. - And so, everyone is normal, but it was really important for me not to. (laughing) - Normal itch. - Just a lot of athletes live in this town, really. - I don't know why. - It's like, wow. - But it's great because it's been normalized as we've been all living in there for so many years, but it works, and so for me, I try so hard to make sure Olympia is just like everyone else. She's not seen as anyone special. I don't tell that she's special. I never told her I played tennis. You know, when she started reading, she saw me and she asked questions. - She's like, "What are you doing, mom?" (laughing) - Come sit back in the audience with everybody else. Put that racket down, you silly goose. - I only see one time as Timmy Garden. - She's like, "Mom, why are you in my book?" (laughing) So eventually she's like, "But I don't live that life where." - Yeah. - You think that I, you know, and this is funny, but it's also very true. We also have friends that are very famous. So when we hang out with them, they seem extremely normal. - Yes, yes. - So we go to Michael's house or Tiger's house. It's like, "Okay, you're good." - So it is very average for us. And so that's what I want them to do. I don't want them to ever feel like, 'cause I don't want them to feel they're better than anyone else or they have an advantage 'cause that just, we don't need that anymore in the system that we live in. We just need some kids that are just as normal as you can be. So that's what I do. And if they wanna grow up and they wanna be a great athlete or they wanna be a great programmer, then they have every right to do that. And yeah, they're gonna have an advantage because of the life that I've lived in their life, my husband lived, sure they're still gonna have an advantage but they're still gonna have to work hard to do there and to make any goal that they wanna make. And so for me, it's super important that they understand that and that they don't feel like they're better than anyone else. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear that you served as the classroom teacher. I was a room mom 'cause I love my daughter obsessed. - What's this recently? - You know since she was in second grade. - Tell us about that. - Serena on the text. - Everyone, you bring cookies. - That was me. - That was you? - That was a man. - It was so fun because I got to go to the school every day or if I wanted I could be in the classroom. - Yeah. - One time I was there for the spelling bee and I was like, you know, just, you know, pretending to work on the library but I was watching all the kids spell and then poor Olympia got her word wrong and I was like, aw. Poor kid. She did her best though, but she tried. But I didn't say anything. I pretended I didn't hear because I didn't want her to feel the pressure that I was there. And it was so fun. I got to help organize all the, I love organizing. So I got to organize all the food for the teacher appreciation day and the field trips and everything for the entire year. - So your daughter doesn't know who you are but those teachers and parents know who you are. - But you know what they're really cool about it. Like, no, they're really, they're really cool. I feel like they don't, you know, they don't treat anyone any different throughout the whole school. And, you know, in the school is also very tough. So you have to really be on it and go show up every day. And so it's really nice. - Well, we are running out of time and I know it's been short, but I want to give us time to wrap it up and I would love for you to share with this room of moms, especially moms of athletes who have made a level of sacrifice. What advice do you have? What parting words of wisdom? Do you think you can share? I know that's heavy. - Yeah, I don't know about advice. I feel like you guys have done it. You've already, you've made it. I mean, to be in this room is a super win already. I would say I have more appreciation. I'm sure you hear it from your kids, but if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be on these teams and, you know what? I just, as someone that had my mom supporting me, you know, it is, I feel so grateful to my mom every single day to give me this opportunity to believe in me, to even when things were rough and things were down to show up every day for me, you know, to be there. When I didn't wanna be there to tell me to go and extra day when I didn't wanna go, you know, so I think, I think all your sons can agree that they're super grateful for what you guys have done for them because without you, they wouldn't be there. So I think you guys deserve a huge pad on the back, a huge round of applause. And so happy for the opportunity that you've given to your children. - Yeah, yeah. And what's next for Serena in life that you wanna share, not trying to break news, just, girl, I'm just like, how you doing and what's going on? You got so much on your plate. What are you most excited about next? - I'm most excited about getting back to my girls. - Yes. - And I don't know, I feel like I have a lot of opportunities and just deciding which ones I wanna go with and see how I'm which direction. - I'm gonna wait. - Okay, that was a good way to not, that was a good way to absolutely say nothing. (audience laughing) - I'm healthy, so I'm just happy to be here. - You sure? You look great. - Yes. - You look great. - Thank you. - Serena, thank you. Thank you for taking the time. - Thank you so much. It was so fun. Thank you. - Yeah, thank you for your honesty, your openness. Keep doing that. The world needs this information. They need to see their idols being normal. Human beings in the world being grounded. And protective of the people that they love. I am always proud of you. I'm happy to share this stage with you and hopefully we'll do something again soon. - Yes. - Leave me the pleasure of his mind. I had so much fun. Thank you all for having me. (audience applauding) Can we take a selfie before we go? - We can, I just wanna say thank you to all the moms on behalf of this mom here. Thank you for your sacrifice, for your love, for setting the foundation for the next generation. It is the most important work that a person can do in life, I think, is to raise a decent human being. 'Cause I think that if everybody took that job as seriously as everybody in this room, we'd solve a lot of problems that way. Just by taking care of the people we choose to bring into this world. So we are grateful to you all. (upbeat music) This episode of IMO is brought to you by Collegard and non-invasive colon cancer screening test. 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