It’s Great To Be Drained

- For decades, a shadowy organization called The Lemonati has kept lemon on top and lime in the shadows. Look around, lemon-forward sodas, even lemon-forward songs. We ran the tracks, slowed them down, reversed them, and squeezed out the truth. ♪ All hail the lemon ♪ - That's lemon propaganda right there. But now, 7UP is fighting back with their new lime-lemon soda. Join the 7 uprising. Flip the sip. - Ugh, I hate Mondays. - King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite? - Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm. ♪ Bites, ba-du-ba-da-ba ♪ - Hey, let's get back to work, please. - But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. - Taylor Hansen? Nice. - Try one. - Mmm. ♪ Bites, ba-du-ba-da-ba-doo ♪ - King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. ♪ Don't you love 'em ♪ - There's nothing like it. ♪ Sweet, swirly ♪ ♪ He's so good ♪ - Hey, Brooke. - Hey, Connor. - Let out one more big sigh for me so we can get-- - Ugh. - Ugh, yeah. - Hey, man. - Hey, girl. ♪ Don't you love me ♪ - What are you doing? - Oh, duh. I've got my heating pad on today. - Yeah. - And it smells like fire. - You think it's maybe short-circuiting while it's on your belly? - Could. - Tell me about the heating pad. Why does everyone-- Everyone really loves their heating pad. - It's amazing. This is my first time using this one, so it could be faulty, I don't know. But I need it today. - Yeah. - Who gives a shit? - For my tum. - Yeah. What's going on with your-- Should I even ask? - It's my-- I have my monthly. - Oh, okay. - So I need my heating pad and shit like that. - Were you the one that had that stinky little animal that you'd put in the microwave and it was, like, heavy? - Yes. Like, did you ever smell my stinky little animal? - Yeah, I smelled your stinky animal. I think you brought it to California, like, the time we met. You brought your stinky animal that you microwaved. - Okay. - For those who don't know, I had this, like, microwavable-- - Stinky little animal? - I don't remember even what type of animal it was. Maybe, like-- - I think it was a duck. - It was not a duck at all. It was definitely, like, mouse-adjacent. What was my stinky-- Oh, no, it was a pizza. - Oh, yeah, it was a pizza. - It was my pizza. It was my heatable pizza. And it just, like, when you heated it up, you know, it had those little, like, beads in it. - It had beans and legumes in there. - No, bead as a-- - It had, it was full of beans, I promise. - Beads. - No, they fill those up with beans, 'cause you can heat up beans. - No, it's beads. It's heatable beads. - There's no such thing as a heatable bead. You don't just heat up beads. - There's no such thing as heatable beans. - All beans are heated. - Yeah, but to eat, like, you know-- - Not garbanzo. - No, these were not beans. Actually, what is inside of, like, what's inside of a warmie? - When it's beans, I want to-- - It was, like, a warmie. And there was just, like, it smelled like just-- - Computer, show me beans. - A really burnt popcorn. - Yeah, it was really-- - It's lavender-scented, but what-- - It was not lavender-scented. - What are those? What are those? - It was not lavender-scented. It smelled like grandpa's feet. - Flaxseed and dried French lavender. - That is so not true. - So, seed, you weren't, like, wrong. - That's a farce. - It's flaxseed. - Well, I want to know why it smelled like old, like-- - It was, like, really burnt popcorn. - In between someone's toes. - No, it was not that at all. - Oh. - Brooke, it was suspicious. - Yeah, but it wasn't, like, a bad smell. It was just, like, hi, honey, there's my pizza. It was just, like, and mine wasn't a warmie, so I don't, this is nothing against warmies. I love warmies. Warmies smell great. I feel bad about putting my warmies in the microwave because they're cute. They're actually cute little animals. I have a chick and a duck. - I know, I was kind of, like, putting them into the-- - I know, I don't like to watch, I won't put them in the microwave, but anyway, hello, hello. Let me make a Sylvia Plath warmie. - That's not funny. - That's not funny at all. I'm not, I didn't even smile when I said that. If you're listening on audio, only let the record show. I did not smile. - Dude, I'm so tired, man. What a two weeks it's been. - I know. - Tired in an amazing way. - Talk to me, talk to me. - Tired in, like, a blessed way. Like, how I'm so lucky to have been doing so many things, so many amazing things that have drained me in an amazing way. It's great to be drained in a positive way. - Yeah, it is. What's that quote that's, like, I'm complaining about? - Yes. - I'm so lucky to be complaining about the things that I would've, like, killed to do. I really feel that. - That's awesome. - Thanks. - So happy for you. Yeah, we, wait, can we do the recap? Can we do the recap after we, of the last week? I guess we start with last week. - I think we need to recap our live shows. - Okay, yes. - So I think we already recapped San Diego, and then I need, I'm moving to La Jolla. - Yes, we did, we talked about La Jolla. - And then we had Irvine. - Yes. - Which, like, I don't have much to say to you. - I love Irvine, and everyone who came to the Irvine show, that was so much fun. - It was amazing. - Yeah, that was great, and then. - Should we tell everyone what the structure of the show was? - Yeah, I guess, yeah. Basically, we just came out, and we kind of shot the shit for a little bit, like a podcast, and then Izzy made this amazing presentation, and they were different at each stop, and it was basically, each slide was something that we have learned over the course of the five years that we've been doing this podcast. So, for example, one slide could have been NATO, another slide could have been internet cables, and we would teach the audience what we had learned. Sometimes, we were so spot-on. Sometimes, we needed Izzy's help. But yeah, it was a learning opportunity for everyone. - Izzy was able to join us on stage. - Izzy was amazing. - And be our guiding light. - Yeah, Izzy was our spirit guide. - It was so much fun, and it brought up, like, fun. It really was, it really was, Brooke, a live podcast in many ways. - It was, it was amazing. I had a blast, I feel very comfortable on stage. - Yes, you crushed it. Conor, you freaking crushed it. - You better hop back on your high horse, because you should be up there, riding off into the sunset. - You should be up there with me. You freaking nailed it. - We are both side-saddling our high horse and riding away. - Yeah, bound to. - Into the night. - Be like. - The British are coming, and the British, us. The British equal us. - Okay, so we did amazing. And then, Sacramento was so unique. - Sac City was a unique experience. - Sac City was so unique. The show itself, love. - Adored. - The city is a unique thing. - It was a unique thing, and I think that that's, like, when I tell you about, sometimes I go on tour, and many times they say, "You are performing in X, Y, Z." And so that's what I announce, when I, "I'm performing in Miami." And then, what they don't tell you is that the venue, many times, is one hour outside of where you announce that you're performing. - Right. - And-- - It's not many-- - I get so mad when you do that, I learned. That happened to me with my Phoebe San Francisco tour stop. 'Cause I said San Francisco, and everyone is like, "This is not San Francisco." I'm sorry. - I do wanna request some grace, because when we receive it, like, I'm not Googling the venue, I'm just excited to go to-- - Completely. - Someplace that's adjacent to the city. And listen, many times, those places are not in, like, the most, how do you say? Desirable areas. And many would even say, "Don't walk alone in these areas." But, it's fun, it's a fun experience, it's so unique, and you make the best of it, and that's what we did. And it was so much fun. - Sac was in Sac. - I actually had a great time. - Our Sac venue was very much in Sac. - No, I know, I know. I'm saying, like, when I tell you, like, my Miami location was, like, genuinely one hour outside of Miami, and so, like, completely different county and city, and people were like, I, you know, like, that's just an example, but it was just, like, really crazy. - It was in Sacramento. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was. - I divulged a little bit from the Sacramento version. - You divulged. - But, I like Sacramento. That was my first time there. - It was pouring rain and thunder. We stayed in a government-themed hotel, which was amazing. - Okay, so, like, we probably should have known, 'cause the, it was called the Citizen Hotel. - I would never assume that just because a hotel is called the Citizen, it would mean it's government-themed. - It was. - But it was, like, cool. - No, it was cool. - It was, like, definitely outside of history. - No, you say that, and then, like, I was looking closer at the quotes in the elevator, and they were all Ronald Reagan, so I'm confused. - No, I think it was, oh, they were. - Yeah. - I guess I wasn't reading closely. But I took it all as kind of, like, warning signs. - No, it was all-- - Everything felt like a warning sign, like, be careful. - It was all very much like the people, like, throw over the government, like, we need to create a coup right now in the lobby and overthrow the government. - Which, to me, right now, feels like, yeah. - Yeah, but then it was like, are you guys just like this all the time? You know, like, it didn't seem like, A newer rebranded hotel based on like who's currently in office. It was like, no, this is like our whole thing. Like we just like love the idea, the theme of toppling like an oligarchy, but like just in general. Sure. I think it was just like kind of almost even like American history in a way. Kind of. But it was, it was, I like, I was, I guess basically like I was having trouble like figuring out what, like who was the, the designer, like the choreographer of all of the like quotes, I guess, mostly. We can look into the Citizen Hotel like in bonus, maybe. The history of the Citizen Hotel in South. Oh yeah, we should. I'm really curious. Cause that was like the Citizen Hotel, they have started to make hotels that are almost personified into like a type of person like that. It was like a type of person. And then the Moxie hotels, like such a little. You know, I love the Mox. It's so funny that you love the Moxies. The Moxies like. They absolutely, like you're allowed to, one of the ones I know you're allowed to get for like a couple hours during the day, which is like definitely like, so that you can like. Not my Moxie. That's not my Moxie. It was one that I went to, but like that's the, the, the Moxie is the one that I stayed at in Ireland when it was like, uh, want to go to third base. And it was like the elevator asking me if I want to go to third base. And I was like, no elevator. I'll take the stairs. Not my Moxie. My Moxie is definitely more modest. Which Moxie are you talking about? I, uh, I love the, it's hard for me to always, I don't know the difference between the Lower East Side and the East Village. Cause I, I always put the wrong one in and I always go to the wrong Moxie. Oh yeah. There's two. It's one of them. Okay. But I, and I, when I was just in New York, I stayed at a hotel that was exercise workout themed. Huh? Which wasn't a match. Each room had its own medicine ball. They put a medicine ball in these. Multiple yoga mats. In the room. Yeah. And those like stretchy bands that you pull were coming out of the wall. I, I, it does make you wonder if that was like, those bands are expensive. I have some of, I have some personal bands and they're not super cheap to put those in each room. Like it almost seems like they could have just built a gym. Oh, they had a gym. Huh? Yeah. It was very, it was a workout based hotel. Well, you can really, I guess you can really do whatever you want. Like whatever theme you feel like doing for the hotel, you can just do kind of. There's book themed hotels that I want to stay at. Oh, that's interesting. And there will be one in my town. That you create? It will be Booking Cats. Which by the way is going to be the name of me and Kat's bookstore. Booking Cats, Books and Cats. Is that not insane? Oh, that's really good. Is that not crazy how that worked out? It's like we were born to do this. You just let the, let the universe figure it all out. Let the universe figure it all out. Let the universe talk. Yeah. For a second, if you don't mind. Let them lead and you will follow. Shutting out for a bit so the universe can speak. Okay, Sac City. I had a real almost pee my pants moment. IRL on the stage. So yeah, our live shows are pretty fun. You could say that again. Yeah. And I know a lot of people were asking about merch. I think we did sell out of merch, right? In Sacramento, but we will be selling. In Sacramento. Okay. So we will be putting the tour merch online. And then watch a space. And then you, I mean, you were just like a little tour, tour bird this week. Cause you, then you hit Phoebe right after. I did. I had a little mini Phoebe press tour in New York. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, four day, four day run. Yeah. Let me go through that briefly. Yeah. Hit it. On Wednesday, I did something so out of my comfort zone. It was a press opportunity that will be posted. So you will see it. Let's just say so out of my comfort zone. So cute, not a match. And, and y'all will be able to see that. And so cute, not a match. Then. Yeah. I mean, I just went on a lot of podcasts and all these podcasts were very much like they had a theme. Yep. And so they wanted to stick to the subject, which makes sense. Of course. Like that's what podcasts do. Connor. I had a very hard time. I had a very hard time staying on topic and not doing what we do and God bless the hosts. Like I could, I think they may have gotten a little bit frustrated with me. They do. And I, that's why I, I, I'm like a one and done podcaster. Cause I don't get invited back on. Right. They like kept wanting to talk to me about dating. And I was like, I have nothing to say there, but have y'all heard of the internet cables that run across the Mariana trend? Brooke. Yeah. Brooke. It's hard. We are a match made in heaven. This. No, we really do. And also like, this is my milking farm. Like I have to go like have this release once a week, you know, like so that I can continue my day to day and I don't put that onto someone else. Like I have to put that here. Completely. I didn't realize I just really, truly didn't realize that like we are meant to podcast together because I was having a very hard time not doing what we do on other podcasts. Oh, Brooke. I'm so happy you have felt like me too. It's, it's really something. And people. Yeah. I'm sorry if I pissed anyone off. Um, I'm trying to, I'm trying to think who, I think it was on tanks is last time I went on. She was like, we didn't do any of the stuff that I had planned. And I was like, I'm really sorry. And then the comments were very much like, I mean, you guys didn't even finish once in it. And I was like, that's really my bad. Yeah. No, it's, it's not your fault. And also all of these podcasts were very like dating forward because I wrote a rom com. And so that was really hard because they were like, Oh, tell me about your last ex. Like how did that relationship end? And it's like, Oh baby, like wrong person. I love you though. Baby. I'm the only car in the parking lot. Oh baby. If, if my ex is driving the bus, who's driving your, then it's a way Mo. So maybe there is no plan. Maybe there was never a plane. So that was amazing. That's very funny. The Lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shower. Their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything. Even our music that hits on named after the color of lemons. Not a coincidence. Big lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years. Think about it. But now seven up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda. Now lime comes first seven up. Flip the sip. Ugh. I hate Mondays. Kings wine, cinnamon, swirl by Taylor Hanson. Sure. I'll try one. Hmm. Hey, let's get back to work, please. But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly Kings, Hawaiian cinnamon bites. Taylor Hanson. Nice. Try one. Kings, Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it. And then so did a lot of that. Oh, I saw. Oh, Mary. Yeah. So here's the thing. Wait, who did you, who was the Mary? Mary was John Cameron Mitchell, who I had not really heard of before, but he was amazing and I like I didn't want to say this before, but I did not think I was going to let go Mary because it's one. I'm not really into plays. I'm a, I'm a musical girl too. I'm not really into like, can't be theatrical humor. I like dry humor. And so I just wasn't expecting to like it. I did, which was great. I was so happy. It was so smart. Um, and I didn't really know anything about it and it was just brilliant. And so, and the length was perfect. It was like an hour. Wow. Yeah. No intermission or anything. Um, I think, I don't know if you will like it. I'm so curious. Cause it really is like theater, theater humor. Like just like theatrical humor. I guess I feel like if I'm going to the theater to go see a play, like I can just shift into that mode. Yeah. You know, like the things that I don't like are like, I go to a movie and then I find out 10 minutes into the movie. It's a musical. And I'm like, Oh Jesus Christ. Like I'm stuck. You didn't tell me, you know? Um, that's like showing up somewhere in a sweater and you don't have like an undershirt and you're like, wow, I'm just about to sweat for like an hour and a half. Right. You know? So, but like, I feel like I could, I don't know. I kind of want to go when Maya Rudolph is Mary. I, that I think you, yeah. How could you not love that? I know. If I just like in the presence of Mrs. Rudolph, like I feel like I'll be okay. Yeah. I, we will all be okay. Well, just in the, in the, in the, the, the camp of books right now, I do want to like announce with my chest. Yeah. I finished a book. I finished reading a book. I can't believe it. I, yes, I can't believe out of all of the books that you've started. This is the one that you finished. I know. I take back everything I said. I mean, and you know, it's crazy as I finished it. Once I sat down and I started reading, I finished it in three days. And just to clarify, this is stoner, correct? This is stoner. I have it here with me. Give a book report. Um, yeah. So this was a devastating book. Um, Tell us about the themes, too. I know you love those. i mean to be to be totally fair and like i'm not gonna give any spoilers like just know i'm a hater like i for each and each specific reason i hated every single character in this book um i hate the main character i hate his wife i hate his child right i i don't really know i don't really know the interesting thing is like you know manchester by the sea where i was like i couldn't even feel sad for this guy because his life is so horrible and he does nothing to fix it you know he's like in a prison of his own making and so that was a lot like this book and this author before he passed he's from the he's from europe somewhere i don't know and i guess that this didn't really gain popularity in the united states because americans were like so upset it was so upsetting for them because of how depressing this book was because of this guy's life because it's you know he had this everything that made him happy like there were very high highs and very low lows for him and it was like a very unremarkable life that he had and he didn't get as far in his career as he had wanted to and whatever and so he gets this this author gets reported back that like that's how americans feel about this book and he's like oh really well like i i really i'm shocked by that because i think this is most people's lives like this is a very typical life and so i don't know americans had like a hard time swallowing that pill that nut and um no but i finished it and i if i mean i it's hard to talk about it because like there's no way for me to explain this but just like everyone in this book made me mad and i really want to i really quickly want to also say so like i finished this book yes and i'm immediately like disgusted by my phone because i was like so enthralled with this storyline and like not that i was like even really enjoying it i just like needed to i needed to finish it yeah so i finished this book i want to really and then guess what i drive i drive down to barnes and i drive down to barnes and i want to pick up dungeon crawler carl right away same day i want to really quickly read to you i want to show you how i ended this book shot chaser i'm going to read the the last passage of stoner and then i'm going to read the opening passage of dungeon crawl crawler kyle okay start with the shot here we go he let his fingers rifle through the pages and felt the tingling if those pages were alive the tingling came through his fingers and coursed through his his flesh and his bone he was minutely aware of it and he waited until it contained him until the old until the old excitement that was like terror fixed on him where he lay the sunlight passing through his window shown up on the page and he could not see what was written there the fingers loosened and the book they held they had held moved slowly and then swiftly across the still body and fell into the silence of the room did he just pass i was holding a crying scratching squirming and spitting cat named princess donut queen's ant chunk that sounds amazing hi princess chunk donut it's just like people love princess donut i'm having a hard time with dungeon crawler how far did you get past that first sentence yeah i'm on page eight you're having a hard time yeah it's just like you read about this this guy with this like horrible horrible life and it like goes through world war one and two in this book and then carl is like talking to a troll and being like hey man back off troll i'm holding i'm holding princess donut chunk i didn't realize that dungeon crawler is based off a video game oh so that would i mean that totally makes sense it's it's completely it is video game ask like it's like he has levels and it's like like okay first eight pages i don't know what happens okay like i don't know what's gonna happen obviously i'm texting dylan about this book good i say text dylan i'm texting dylan too he's reading crescent city right now what i know he said he said he said he listened to these books and he said he got he said it was let me just read what he said because it was like yeah dylan's a big audiobook guy it was a really easy read author doesn't waste too much time world building like relates everything to modern day so he says the inside kind of looks like a target kind of thing but then he's really good at building a climax and big action scenes where you don't know what's going to happen but it is genuinely so fictional that it's like i don't know what's going to happen but it's like i don't know what's going to happen trolls and goblins and like a little rat man a man that looks a man that is a rat yeah i'm having a hard time with that i don't want to read sometimes it's really like whiplash to go from stoner to something like dungeon crawler do you want to read a sort of bridge first yeah i think i have to because like i'm really not like it's not i i like the like more historical fiction things because it's like okay let's find you a bridge all right but i think this would you consider downloading goodreads yeah oh my gosh i need to you're right i need to put that my thoughts somewhere and like talk to a community of people please download goodreads i want you're going to log the stoner as your first book of 2026 i want to see your review i'll engage like comment and then you can start building your to read shelf my repertoire yeah i'm so excited for you and very proud of you thanks i'm pretty excited about that that was just like the whiplash is a good way to yeah we'll find it just bummed me out i was like oh i was like so in this zone like now i'm not in this zone anymore you could also text matt i should text matt that's a great reader matt has a book club i won't speak on his behalf but there's definitely a lot of drama happening there we went to barnes and noble yesterday matt and i like have such a an amazing friendship and we do really fun things together tomorrow we're going to a few different libraries across los angeles and collecting unique stamps but he you could join his book club i don't know if i will right now about it you can talk to him about it they're definitely in a state of of they're in a flex state right now for sure they won't speak on it too much but the hierarchy is a little fragile right now yes the hierarchy is fragile yeah so they're thinking about new members so they're considering it considering new members i would reach out if i were you that's fabulous yeah so you guys enjoy your stamp collecting send me updates yeah oh i will send you updates but this will be my first la library card which is long overdue wow i got a new york library card before you get an la i know it's so dumb of me oh my god but um colin uber's coming out with a book and alex cooper is or not not a book a movie alex cooper's in the movie yeah verity right yeah isn't that crazy um yeah alex cooper's in the movie but as herself right like as her fictional self like yeah that makes sense no but call her daddy is in the movie is call her daddy in the book no okay that's to me like am i the only one who when there's something that like they try to throw in for relevancy to like make it so today like are you not pulled out of the tv or movie that you're a lot of people are i'm so confused like how i know it keeps happening because now you've now you have this person on board that is going to be like i'm stoked to be a part of this project post post post and like that will increase viewership to see that moment but like wow i don't know yeah i'm not a fan of that no i don't really like that either but that's like when people are like oh i watched euphoria did you watch euphoria no it is so bad i'm not going to because like i love the first two seasons and that's my euphoria and this is just going to be a different show that i don't feel interested in i mean you truly have people that are were in a contract and then took some time off and became like actual despians like jacob alorti is like such an incredible actor and then you see him do this thing he's talking about only fans and like tiktok and it's like no go run yeah it's so bad sam levinson needs to go and ryan and ryan murphy like all of these people that are like pumping out so much tv like need to go do whatever drugs they were what milking farm derogatory yeah i mean it's just it's very um it's very like you know those things that always pop up in between people's snapchat stories and it's like an app that you download to watch short dramatic video stories yeah it feels like one of those you know that's a good comparison yeah i'm not gonna watch i know which is a shame but you're truly not missing i i was watching with your people i'm looking around at the room i'm like is anyone i'm just jaw on the floor it seems like a parody yeah it's really really crazy and it low-key became narcos like i don't know it's like very drug i mean i know it was always kind of drug heavy like that was the whole right thing but now it's like crossing borders with is it like following what the plot from season two or rue got like into whatever situation she got herself into it's i'm kind of unclear but yeah she still owes that that young woman some cash yeah okay but like they're fully like crossing borders with cocaine in their ass yeah it's like this was this was low-key fun because you guys were like like this was all happening wrong side of the tracks high school you know like i didn't sign up for this yeah this part i am going to pass on it you know it was good that i also watched big mistakes i was so right about that it's so good what's that did i talk about The one with Dan Levy. Okay. And Taylor Ortega. I watch it. and jack in and in it is so good really so good yeah okay this is this is the kind of like writing and acting where like i can tell that they had fun with it like when they do the scenes they're like it's almost improv-y they're like you have to get from here to here in this scene but they're like kind of talking over each other and like having fun with it it's really good okay i'll watch yeah i kind of didn't know that every show this year was going to be like have some like um level of gang and like cartel level to it i don't but i guess that's what we're doing favorite kind of show really yeah or at least like because there have been so many shows i love i guess like breaking bad and weeds and like once it gets into the like smuggling cartel like politics of the cartel i kind of they lose me i know whatever happened i'm having fun yeah no one's having fun anymore like a small town dealer than a like big drug circle narcos yeah i like when i like when the drug dealers keep it like in the family yeah once we start getting political and there's like drug lords involved i'm you lose me um what i was going to tell you this morning before i forgot was there's this really really really mean girl that makes smoothies at the store not down the street she works every single day and she hates me so much like really really truly like won't look at me won't talk to me maybe she likes you i don't think it's like that because she um like hate like hates me and it's like visceral like i can see it and i'm like hey i get it like if and i'm i'm just kind of like what can i do here because like when something like that presents itself to me like a challenge i'm like i'm gonna overcome this and i'm gonna we will be friends it has been uh time to get her but today she smiled and kind of laughed oh my god you've got her wrapped around your finger no i really do when i go order my clean my clean green smoothie um i saw her on a smoke break one day so i know that she is love cigarettes and so one time i brought cigarettes like in my pocket and i let them hang out a little bit and you know i don't even smoke cigarettes good thinking thanks and i was just like look like i'm gonna i'm all means necessary like i'm gonna get her on my side i don't even know why but i got her to smile today and i'll continue to work on that very good before i move in two weeks somehow do you have an apartment oh god no but my landlord did ask if i can move out a week early because they have a new person that's gonna move in i said i don't really understand what you mean by would you do you think it'd be possible for me to vacate a week early how like make that make sense to you make that make sense to you i get that she wants you to leave a week early i know but like i know it makes sense to her but like in what world can you ask someone that signed a lease to move out a week early say no yeah i said okay i don't have a place to live but if anything changes on my end i'll let you know and we can figure out what that looks like so now i've left it like you can pay me back one-fourth of my rent good job thanks i was proud of myself for that that's good that's a good thing i toured my second place that was so so so awesome such cool vibe and um they said you're not allowed to have anyone over to your apartment and i said at at all and they said 100 at all the neighbors are very specific i go what they have what do you mean they're like yeah they're just very specific and i was like why are the neighbors ruling the entire place i don't know and i didn't even bring up like can i have i wasn't like oh can i entertain here they're like just heads up like you can't bring anyone over to your apartment and i was like i'm confused like why a broker is telling me that right what happened here before me the lemonati has spent decades keeping lemon on top and lime in the shadows their lemon agenda has infiltrated everything even our music that hit song named after the color of lemons not a coincidence big lemon has been pulling strings in the industry for years think about it but now seven up is fighting back with their new lime lemon soda now lime comes first seven up flip the sip i hate mondays king's hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite taylor hansen sure i'll try one hey let's get back to work please but taylor hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly king's hawaiian cinnamon bites taylor hansen nice try one king's hawaiian cinnamon bites there's nothing like it by the way no fridge there oh my god that just happened marshall's moving to new york and he sent a video of his new apartment he was like this is my new apartment he wasn't there he was just getting the video from a realtor and i said marshall there's no fridge and he didn't he had not realized that two apartments not even a place for a fridge unless he wanted it in his bedroom that was also it's a studio so it was one small room and the kitchen that i don't think i would have even fit in i think just for like a few few thousand dollars and like the fridge genuinely if you wanted you could either pick one fridge or bed what would you prefer definitely bed yeah um two places i've toured no fridge and then one place i toured one place i toured mini fridge because like everyone needs a fridge it is kind of funny that that's not like a requirement everyone needs a fridge the same way everyone i would say it's like it's right below shower but like it is like kind of up there people in ireland and i think london somewhere they don't put anything in the fridge they have pantries what about they need to put in the fridge what what about food they need to put in the fridge i don't think that i mean they if you're over if you're over there in ireland or you know no offense i know that some people from there listen to this your food sucks what if they need to buy meat i think that they just eat it right away i don't know about that it's really bad no offense to you guys like sorry i did not i was not like i was pretty much like withering away while i was eating i was eating i was eating i was eating i was over there i want to go to ireland one day it was bad i told you that one night we're like finally i'm gonna go i'm gonna go have like a meal like i need to have a meal i need to have like a big steak i was like out of nutrients like i was low in iron my blood sugar was plummeting and i was like i'm gonna go have a steak and a caesar salad like that's what i need to have right now like that's gonna bring me back and a diet coke no ice my steak comes out it's carpaccio so it's paper then the steak they cut it up like this there's paper then raw and i don't know room temp and then the caesar salad comes out just like it looked like they had just cast a net until a very shallow pond and caught every little fish they could find and stack them up almost like yeah almost like cartoon style stack of fish on top of the salad and so like one by one i moved i removed these like little metallic anchovies just like off my plate and i'm like maybe maybe like now that i've removed them no i mean the whole thing was like and i know that there's i know that there's anchovies and caesar salad but like the less i know the better like seeing that pile and then just moving them over to the plate like i tasted them you know like i don't want to taste no i don't want to taste fish on a caesar salad i get it man come on man i wouldn't want that either did you hear that it was my stomach what's going on with your stomach oh it's making tooting sounds your subscription was renewed this week my subscription to your monthly oh nice i think this is separate oh i mean there's so many things going on it's incredible it's incredible how many things can go on in the same body yeah i agree yeah um maybe you could read lena dunham's oh i bought it memoir i just started listening to the audiobook it's incredible mine came in it came in yesterday okay i'm pretty excited i've heard it's like i heard it's crazy i'm so excited i love her she's so funny just the way she writes stuff is just like they keep clipping things and like headlining things and it's like not the way she wrote it like she said that adam driver threw a chair at a wall next to her head right but it was like and then someone was like no that's the relationship they had with their work and like they were just like very in the moment and i was like brooke could you read that for me i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't do you imagine we're podcasting so hard that i throw a chair at you i'm like i want i'm excited to get to that part because i've only seen the headline so i'm wondering like what she actually said no i mean it was quoted word for word it was just like no but she was like we were so passionate about this like that's what the work was like and like i could see adam driver's character throwing a chair at her and the headline like painted it like lena like had a big problem with him no but that's not what she meant right so i'm excited to see what she meant yeah when i got um i had something happen last week that's pretty fun i was home all week last week my dad had surgery so we were just like in and out just like he had to stay at the hospital for like a couple days right and so the nurses came in it was like new nurses that i had not seen and they come in and they're like hey we need would you do us a favor to me because i was the only one in the room besides my dad would you sign as a witness and i was like oh my god what are they about are they about to pull my dad's awake i was like you know like what are you about to ask me to do they're like can you come to another room the the patients next door need a witness on a non-resuscitation like a no resuscitation do not resuscitate form yeah and i was like you want me sure yeah i never get picked to you know and um so i'm like okay yeah i'll go and like on my way out i was like should we do a swap do they want to come in and sign for him about my dad was the person that they were signing about like awake i didn't look at the person in the bed okay um i was just the the story is about and i'm realizing that i haven't even heard anyone laugh or you haven't smiled or anything like well i'm just like mostly curious yeah i didn't want to look because you know like everyone's kind of naked and in bed you know yeah um but i did a little like i was like oh you know because in situations like that like i have a hard time not being a wise guy and like i do need to like make light of everything which is like not really my place when i'm signing a do not resuscitate form for someone else as a witness sure but i was like oh should we do a swaparoo should we have someone come in here and sign for him and i was like you want and no one not even randomly my dad didn't think that that was funny okay yeah that's hard that's like a read the room situation yeah no no no i didn't you know at at that time like i hadn't really been talking i had only really been reading stoner right for like days on end so i wasn't brushed up on the room right understood um and i asked them i was like can i talk about this on my podcast and they were like yeah like you're not under hippo only we are so i was like okay check can't hurt can't hurt um and then also last week i saw the craziest tweet while i was at home what oh because you know what i'm not gonna lie to you you know when you're you're telling your parents who like they've had iphones as long as i've had an iphone you know like i didn't grow up with technology in the way that kids are now you know like we didn't grow up with an iphone right you know what i mean i do like my parents got an iphone the same day i got an iphone we got the family such a good point like so when they say things i'm like we've had the same amount of time with these devices like what do you mean how do i screenshot this right you know when you're you're telling your parents who like they've had iphones as long as i've had that's such a good point and why has that never been brought up before i don't i don't know like and i get that like yeah we're completely fried and yeah we have so i guess like the saying is probably more aimed towards social media which like they don't spend all day on but like they do because they send me reels of like dogs dancing and things and ai all day and like random vitamins i should be taking but um i read this tweet the other day are you ready for the evidence that will that will be bestowed upon you in about t minus 10 i'm ready oh man i gotta read it oh crap that sucks hang on no i have it that's fine okay because i don't want to mess it up because it was it was really well written and i was like oh wow that's gonna be that's gonna be a banger on the pod let me find it i know exactly what it looks like so don't worry um i'm gonna put my mic to my stomach so you can hear me hear this yeah i would actually love you i found it okay never mind my mom recently asked how to take a screenshot at first i laughed but then i remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes you know because it's like what dumb you don't know how to tie your shoes like instead of getting frustrated you just teach them over and over and over again and i get it oh that's really sweet that is sweet full circle you have some patience have some thank you for sharing yeah yeah i'm happy too yeah i'm really happy too um in like more pop culture news yeah the casting for emily henry's beach read yeah has come out and people are so pissed i don't think i've ever seen people as pissed um over an announcement a casting announcement but it's we we knew phoebe how do you say her last name den denver we knew phoebe d was going to be in it we did not know who was going to play gus who is a beloved character to many and it is going to go ahead and be patrick s yeah as in patrick schwarzenegger and people are um very upset and you might be wondering how i'm feeling we talked about this privately yeah yeah but you might be wondering how i'm feeling publicly yeah um here's the thing here's what i'll say about this oh are you gonna are you actually gonna say something right now yeah i'm gonna say what i just what i said to you okay which i don't remember what it was necessarily but i will say that i've read four emily henry books and beach read is my least favorite so i don't have that much skin in the game because i'm kind of just like whatever i didn't connect to gus as much as everyone else did um so i don't have the passion that a lot of people have about this i started white lotus and it's i know it's different because this is a rom-com and i also kind of have trouble seeing him as a leading man romantically but i started white lotus being like this fucking guy you know and then kind of ended like with such a soft spot for him that i have hope that the same thing could happen in this fingers crossed i do i'm i'm not i have hope i'm not like excited about it like i don't really see the vision but i'm holding out hope and that's what i have to say like i'm not calling it off completely i i'm hopeful that he could surprise us that's what i'll say i don't see it i said at all i think i said but i'm hopeful yeah i said to you yeah i don't think i don't i mean i i just said to you i don't think he has rom-com and i don't either has too much for rom-com or not enough for rom-com and i don't know what it is he could also surprise me right i i'm hopeful that he could surprise me like he did in white lotus um so did someone just vibrate what did someone just vibrate me probably your phone is sounding like an or your stomach is sounding like my stomach my phone is on silent oh wow i'm getting phantom vibrations um obviously there's a lot of heated rivalry look-alike contests but there was this one recently where the winners looked more like shane and ilia than hudson and connor did and now they're dating yeah i saw that because i was confused why they were making out at a hockey game and i was like wait what are they doing promo for they won and then i realized it they look more like shane and ilia than shane and ilia do it's incredible and i wish them nothing but a an entire lifetime of success and happiness i heard it's for i heard it's just for like no fun like i don't think they're actually dating yes they are i don't think they are yes they are because they weren't dating before the thing and no they weren't this is how they met wow that's look at them is that not insane wow that's look at them is that not insane i can't can we make them computer can we make them bigger no it is really like crazy i think they are dating there's been interviews with them i know i'm sure it would be very fun to pop off like this and then be invited and put on the jumbo you you can't fake shit like this you just can't i don't know no they they are the moment that's crazy did you see what i said that's crazy no i know it's it's kind of like um uncanny valley yeah nice thanks um i can't believe you didn't go to coachella everyone went to coachella what i had book con the coach no i know it's just weird because everyone was there oh we didn't even talk about coachella no i know it's this has been a hard harder episode because i'm trying not to talk about stuff we've already talked about and we we recorded we because we technically did we did the three shows that were also like shooting the shit and then we recorded as well and then we took last week we just didn't do an episode so like i'm confused what we did or didn't do we didn't talk about cokella um because it didn't have coachella because it didn't happen what do you mean we've been seeing each other since coachella happened um because it didn't happen because it didn't happen because it didn't happen because it didn't Thank you. oh either Coachella's yes oh that's really crazy I think no no that's wrong no it's right we left each other on Saturday so we left each other before Justin Bieber's first performance yeah which I loved I can't watch a lot of it because it's making me upset that I wasn't there but I would I would have killed to be there I love Justin a lot of people don't know that I'm a huge Belieber yeah I'm a huge huge Justin Bieber fan I've been a Justin Bieber fan you can scroll way back in my TikTok I have posted Justin Bieber songs over and over and over again for 2020 like when I downloaded TikTok um I'm not a fan of this like I get I get that like these catalog things I wasn't a fan of playing YouTube like I'm sorry like I'm not I know that it was like performance art and whatever but like I'm I'm sorry like and I know that people are gonna get mad at me I'm a fan of him okay I think this like this I don't know these things are like like Sabrina Carpenter goes out there and puts on a show and it's like she's a show girl I know but like there's something about people okay and I'm not talking about Justin Bieber for this but like I think this thing where celebrities are like you know like he played the YouTube videos because he and that was an out for him he didn't he wasn't technically performing the song so like he could still profit off of his performance and not split the revenue with the people that bought his catalog of music what so like that was a loophole around him having to pay the labels for performing those songs he sang with them but he wasn't like I don't know there was some loophole there about like his own swag that's why he did so many of those are you sure I'm 90 okay my whole thing and again I would call what he did performing he sang with the YouTube songs well maybe it wasn't just like all of them I don't know he sang with all of them is he can we double check that's not true he didn't need a loophole to perform his old Coachella okay well I lied then sorry I like what I do on this on this podcast is spread misinformation then we double check and I'm always wrong that's okay that's fine because maybe someone else thought that and now because that's not true I have more ground to stand on that I think if you're being paid 10 million dollars give the people a show sorry I think it's a little bit like I haven't heard anything negative from anybody that was at Coachella okay everybody who was there was like this was the best thing that's ever happened to me I think we have different people on our feed you had people at Coachella that didn't like it yeah and I also think he really amped it up for weekend two yeah I was gonna say if I was at weekend one versus weekend two I'd be upset yeah but there's SZA coming on and then Billie Eilish coming on that that was cool but that's all I'll say I would have wanted more of a show I would want more of like a Sabrina Carpenter that's just not Justin I know I know but 10 just like when when people get paid all this money and I know that that's the stature that they're in and all this is what they deserve like I just want more you know like and I'm not one to like give grace to people because they are a massive celebrity and like it's um like nostalgic for people just to like go see them on there I know people had fun whatever I'm sorry I like it's fine a lot of people feel that way too I just don't I know I think that it could be because you like grew up as a believer and a fan of like you know what I mean I did but I wasn't like no I wasn't I didn't feel the same way about Justin that I did about One Direction like I loved Justin but I didn't have any posters I was just like more of a casual Justin fan but I did grow up with him yeah I don't know but I don't know I feel like you're paying for the name and for him to perform at Coachella and he did he's just he's not a showboy I know I know just wanted more that's fine it's fine to want I know the flesh desires what the flesh desires no your flesh wanted more my flesh wanted more from from him that's fair that's why I talk now after reading stoner I get that we've got to find you your bridge book no full-blown if I wouldn't have started dungeon crawl Carl like it's which is by the way impossible to say every time I say it like I skipped like three three times I skipped like three times I skipped like three times I skipped three vowels well actually the first one is dungeon crawler Carl do you know the names of the other ones either what what what you can't say either crawler Carl oh now you can but listen to the names of the other ones in the series you ready yeah first is dungeon crawler Carl then two Carl's doomsday scenario that's fine then three the dungeon anarchist cookbook okay four is the one of the feral gods five I love which is the butcher's masquerade six is the eye of the bedlam bride I don't like these like I shouldn't why did I do this seven is the inevitable ruin and eight is a parade of horribles what did I get myself into um eight books it could be amazing I don't know man it sounds like um something inferno what's it called Dante's inferno Dante's inferno I think it's very different it's like levels to this shit it was a video game Dante's inferno was levels of hell right how many seven seven this is eight oh I don't think this is based off of the levels of hell I'm gonna double check because it is like demons and it's like demons and gargoyles and stuff and princess donut I know I know that princess donut isn't it like biblically accurate for Dante's inferno Dante's inferno dungeon crawler Carl this reddit thread maybe so is dungeon crawler Carl somewhat inspired by a weird commentary dungeon dungeons Dante's inferno so is dungeon crawler Carl somewhat inspired or a weird commentary on Dante's Inferno? Answer, I don't know. Durntrow's Inferno. Features an 18-level post-apocalyptic dungeon that draws inspiration from Dante's Inferno. I feel like maybe you just try Hell instead of Dante's Inferno. It's saying it, Dante's Inferno. No, but I tried Googling, like, is Dungeon Crawler Carl based off of Hell? I did. The structure, like Dante's Journey, Carl and Donna descend through increasingly dangerous levels, levels of Hell, parentheses, rather than traversing a flat landscape with Mordecai acting like a Virgil-like guide. Who's Mordecai? Who the fuck? Oh, the Ratman. Oh. It's really reminding me of Gregor the Overlander. Ugh. Did you read those? No. Those were so good, Connor. That was like a cartoon book, right? No, it was Suzanne Collins' books before Hunger Games. Oh my God, I have, like, chills looking at the cover. I did for a second. Wow. Maybe you could read the new Hunger Games book. Did you see. Oh, yeah, I could. Did you see they just. Wait, hey. Hi. They were selling Eragon in the front of Barnes & Noble when I went. Really? Yeah, how crazy is that? You read Eragon, right? Yeah. I never read Eragon. And I really like. I love the movies. There's no Eragon movies, is there? Oh. There's no Eragon movies, which is kind of crazy. Unless there are. There totally is. There are. Appreciate it. Yeah, and it was good. Who is the. Who plays the guy? Who's that boy? Oh, Ed Spleers? Ed Spleers? I don't know him. He looks like Taron Egerton. He totally does. And then this just reminded me, too, because this just came up. This just came out over the weekend, and this was supposed to be why I was going to put this in with the Colleen Hoover thing. They just announced the new Meet the Fockers. I can't wait. And it's them and Ariana Grande. And I do. This gets a pass from me because I do think Ariana Grande is extremely funny, and she's obviously a good actress, but she's funny. I always forget that about her. But it does pull me out a little bit, and Meet the Fockers is, like, so one of my favorites. Brilliant. I love Ben Stiller so much. He was my first age-inappropriate crush. Ben Stiller? Yeah. How old were you when you had a crush on Ben? Like, 12. And he was. Older. Like, 40s, 50s? I don't know. Wait. You know what's crazy? What? Did you watch Full House? Yeah, of course. Did you know that if they filmed it today, Uncle Jesse would have been born in 2003? What do you mean? Uncle Jesse was 23 in that show. No. he would have been more in 2003 uncle jesse was 23 yeah no tough not to swallow sick yeah i what's stressing me out now is you know how there's all those tiktoks it's like don't stress you're only in season one of friends no you're not no i'm saying like that's that those used to comfort me and now it's like no i'm like season eight now baby i'm moving out of the city baby like what happens once i'm once i'm past season 10 guess what baby what baby you're in the first season of gray's anatomy that's true baby and then everyone dies in that show yep everyone dies everywhere all the time nice let's call that a wrap and and the podcast for today can i give myself a pat on the back that i did not bring up anything doom and gloom today oh my god pat yourself on the back no war i didn't talk about ufos at all thank you it's really hard because i have i went into a comment spiral recently as in i was reading them which i i'm really good at not doing but slept recently and we can't win because sometimes it's like we i need connor to stop talking about this this is not why i watch the podcast and sometimes it's brooke really needs to let connor talk about this like he's so politically aware woke king and she's really like damping putting a damper on him him being a woke king and it's like i'm just you can't win here's what i'm saying we can't win and so we just truly have to do it feels good and so if you want to talk about doom and gloom then you can is what i'm saying well i'll only talk about it if it comes across my desk and i'm really worried about something yeah but guess what i'm also going to put a funny light spin on it so if that is that if that's upsetting i do encourage you to forward by 30 seconds okay and i i it is it is everyone's it is everyone's right to not like a bit of what we do that's totally okay that's so true connor yeah um and thank you guys for watching okay no by the way later negative feedback is not welcome or constructive criticism never welcome so we'll see you next week unless you're watching the bonus and we'll see you in right now see ya see ya coca-cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new coca-cola for everyone pick up some coca-cola at a store near you uh i hate mondays king's hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite taylor hansen sure i'll try one hey let's get back to work please but taylor hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly king's hawaiian cinnamon bites taylor hansen nice try one king's hawaiian cinnamon bites there's nothing like it fall never arrives all at once first the air then the light and slowly the things you love begin to find each other a jacket meets a dress a hoodie slips beneath a blazer an old cap finds a new scarf because you don't simply step into the season you create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall find fall your way at ross Thank you.