It's baby time!

Thank you to Quince for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Let me tell you the seasons are changing. It's starting to be time that we can get out our denims again. We can get out our sweaters and there is no better place than Quince. So many of the things I'm constantly reaching for in my closet to layer up, dress up, dress down, come from Quince because they have very, very high quality products. I'm talking 100% Mongolian cashmere. They have silk organic cotton wool. They have those premium fabrics, but at an amazing price. Everything at Quince is actually priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And that is because they work directly with ethical factories, hunting out the middle man. So you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. Actually, just last night Matt was telling me that he grabbed his shorts. I don't fit my clothes. I've been hitting the gym. And so I need new clothes. He bought me Quince swim trunks that are really high quality. I wear them all the time when we go on the pool with the boys. I'm excited to see what she picks out from Quince for me next. Your nice khaki shorts are from Quince with the khaki that I wear like literally every day. Yep. Those are from Quince. You don't even know where your clothes are from, but if you had to guess, they're probably from Quince because I love shopping their min section as well for Matt. You can wear them in many different ways for many different seasons. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, let them know that unplanned sent you. It's the best way to support the show. Did you just get hit with a contraction? Feel it. Feel. That's what I'm like. My uterus needs to take a break. She's susceptible to a rupture. I can't easy girl. There's no touching the belly. No touching the boobs. I'm writing that down. No touching your butt. But if I'm touching your hips though. That's the problem is sometimes you're doing that to relieve pressure. Your hands drift. It's not about even a little bit. So excited to see you hold a baby shirtless again. I'm also looking forward to seeing you shirtless with a baby as well. That's animal planet. What's up dudes. Welcome back to unplanned. You guys, we are officially on baby watch. Abby's full term, 37 weeks. Contractions are happening. See I just feel like the baby's not going to come until. Until what 39 40. Yeah. Really at this point. Why do you feel that way? I don't know. I think I have to feel that way or else you lose the mental game. Oh yeah. How are you handling all this so well? You just do a few parts. I come home from the gym and there's like a herd of toddlers at our pool and you're just hanging out. How are you handling that? It's impressive. I feel even really grouchy recently. I don't think I'm handling it like the best. You feel grouchy? I feel grouchy. Why and buy people over to our house? Was that just like a spur of the moment game? It just kind of happens. That doesn't make me more grouchy. I don't think. Oh okay. Did that make you happy to have people over? It's yeah. I hang out with them every day. So it's like I can hang out with you at my house. Okay. I can hang out with you at a trampoline park. Okay. I can hang out with you. I was already planning on hanging out with them. Yeah. And I mean our house was certainly a mess when they came over but that's kind of like my motto with hosting. Yeah. It's better to have people over than to feel like you can't have people over unless it's perfect. Yeah. I honestly don't know how you do it though because you're pregnant, growing a baby, you're running a mascara brand that just launched and sold out. You run two different podcasts. You have Instagram, TikTok and a YouTube channel. Stop now. Is there something that I'm missing? Full-time mom. I don't know how you do it all, girl. You got a lot of help. You're impressive. No. It's not like I'm doing it alone. We're doing it together. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're right. But I'm not growing a baby. Yeah. No, you're not doing that. Yeah. So I'm you're awesome. You're awesome. Wait. So when did the grouchyness start? When did you start feeling the grouchy? The grouch come out. Maybe like 37 weeks. What was it? Was there like a certain thing that was just like trying to get torn bones? Ah, okay. I'm okay. I don't know. Just like right now, I feel grouchy. You do. You do. Yeah. Did I say something that pissed you off? I don't know. It's like it's not you. I know it's me, but it is you. I made the mistake. What did I say? I said something about like, you know, the baby could come anywhere from now or in the next three weeks. No. Yeah. In my head, it was like how did I say it in your head? Like you were like diminishing the way that I felt currently. Oh gosh. Because it's like you still have three weeks and I was like shut the F up. Like I don't know what how did it come out? That's the thing. Wording words sometimes are hard for me and I feel like if I'm not ultra clear in the communication and like the the way that I'm saying it and I'm like, Oh gosh, I don't. Like it's one thing for me to be like it could be three weeks from now. And that's another thing for you to be like buckle up girl. I did not say that. I did. No. You didn't say it that way. I did not say it that way. Maybe that's how you interpreted it. Maybe that's like maybe that was a story that you're choosing to tell yourself. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. That's good. I like that line. I like the stories. I think it's now it's just like so much of my energy has gone towards having these contractions that aren't like real. That I'm like I don't have the energy to like I don't feel like I have the energy reserves to just be chipper and smiley. Do you feel? Do you feel at peace now that I have installed the baby's car seat? I'm so glad you did that. That was bothering me. It's there. It's all set up. I fully installed. That's crazy. Is there anything else that's like lingering on your mind? Well, I did realize yesterday we never registered at the hospital. Is that I guess that's when we have to do? We do have to do that. Okay. Yeah. So let's do that then. I did. Oh, you did. I think it should be done now. Oh, thanks for doing that. I think I need to follow up and make sure that that's done. Would they deny us if you're in labor and we should? I can't imagine they would deny you, but I think that you could probably it would take you a longer to maybe get in a room and stuff. Yeah. And I don't think that's something we really want to do. It's just like hang out. Yeah. Not in a room there. Let me just say I chose the wrong day to install our child's car seat though. There's no right day in Arizona. Goodness, Abby. Like I so you asked me to do it yesterday. And I was like then then work got in the way. And so I ended up like having to push it off till today. But to be honest, part of the thing that was just like I was dreading. I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm going I'm going to sweat so much installing this thing. And I did. It was a hundred and seven. Yeah. And you're not really a sweaty guy. I'm not. Yeah. You know, I got to give you props. You're not gross. I'm not gross. I think a lot of boys are kind of gross. Really? I don't think you're gross. Why are why are so many boys gross? Uh poor hygiene. Okay. And like and like dirty. Okay. Like with their space and living stuff. Ah, yeah. You're not dirty. And you're not gross. You have good hygiene. I feel like I keep maybe it's just because I like your fair mones. Oh, yeah, you do like this smell like me. You'll like wear my shirts and stuff. There's like science to that. Isn't there? I don't know. It's like I don't know. I think I learned that from like, Oh, and a baby is like sad missing their mom. Yeah. That's weird. You like my scent. Is there something in particular that I do that is like so tidy and not not like messy or nasty? You know, you just you don't stink. But I feel like sometimes the one thing that I get comments on those is you'll be like your breath is this rank. Yeah, because you think that if you drink coffee, you don't have to brush your teeth, which that is not what I think. That is not what I think. Matt say it right now. Say what right now? I'm not pulling this out of nowhere. What? You are wrong. You say that if you don't, if you drink coffee, then you don't need to brush your teeth in the morning. Okay. Well, you do say that. First of all, I am a hundred and 10% team brush your freaking teeth. That is like I brush my teeth every day. Okay. Once a day. But sometimes I don't do it in the mornings because I got in a really bad habit after going through the newborn stage where it was like not our baby's fault. I didn't even know. Well, it's something that I could fix now, but then we're also about to have another newborn. So it's probably I'm going to fall right back into that habit. No, you can still brush your teeth. But like when you when you were so tired and then you're like waking up with your kid and then there's all this stuff to do, then it's like, oh my gosh, it's noon. I haven't even brushed my teeth. And so usually what I do is I would wait until like I've you know gone to the gym hopefully and worked out and then I'll brush my teeth at like noon because then it's like I get it all done when I'm like showering because I don't shower before the gym. That'd be weird to shower like before and after. Yeah, okay. Basically, you're making a lot of excuses. Okay. But you tell me that if you drink coffee, then your breath doesn't stink. I think I have coffee breath. But you're also putting milk in your coffee. I think you get coffee breath if you drink coffee. But there's milk in it. It's a latte. That's true. So that makes it really stinky. Okay. Well, I'm sorry. That's okay. That's something that's that's the area of improvement I can focus on. That's a one thing that you're kind of gross about. Okay. Anyway, nesting. We have a bassinet all set up. We've got the baby monitor set up. We've got a bottle wash station set up. We've got all these things and oh, I went into our shed pulled out all the baby clothes through those in the wash. Use the non-centred laundry detergent because apparently babies don't like scented stuff. Well, it can irritate their skin. That's right. So we're doing all the things and everything's good to go. Yeah, it's pretty, it's as good as we don't have a nursery. Yeah, I get, you know, that's the thing. I think we did a nursery for Griffin our first born. We haven't done one since. And since then, you know, because our babies stay in our room for a really long time. Yeah. Yeah, and also, if you make a really cute nursery, my opinion is if you're gonna go all out on your kids' room, I feel like the age to do it would be like, maybe when they're five or six, because then-- - That's actually a good point. - I think like five or six you do it, and then maybe when they go into middle school, you redo their room again, and then high school you do it again, 'cause then that's like three different stages, but if you're sending it on the nursery, then you have to redo all of that in like a year, because it's really not gonna be the right theme for Toddler, you know? - Mm-hmm. - You're not gonna want all the rainbow, like your toddler is gonna want to have like Darth Vader and sports and stuff. Like if Oggy had like rainbows in his room, he'd be like-- - Well, it just start now with a Darth Vader nursery. - That's true. How funny would that be? - They would love that. - If it's like a Darth Vader-shaped crib, it's like the baby-sleeved side. - It's like a Millennium Falcon. - Yes, how sick would that be? - No, the Death Star. - I will tell you, if I've thought about this, like I see some of these dad DIYers and I'm not a handyman by any means, but I think it'd be fun to like make, to do something epic in one of our kids' rooms, you know? Kind of like how I build a half pipe in her backyard. It would be cool to just like send it on our kids' room. - Well, Griffin and Oggy think that this baby's moving into their room once he's done staying in our room. - I mean, he really could. - He could. - I don't know if they'd all sleep all together though. - That feels crazy. - That feels absolutely crazy. But they're already getting, I feel like, I feel like they're gonna adjust really well because they already talk all the time. Like they got a couple toys for the baby, and they were like yelling at their friends, which isn't nice, but they're like, don't touch that, that's for baby. Like they are already getting like protective of his stuff. They're already like talking about like what's his and how it's gonna work. - It was really sweet how you had the boys pick out toys for their baby brother, but they kind of just ended up picking out toys that they wanted. - We made them pick out baby toys though. - Yeah, but they ended up, like we got home and they started playing with the baby toys they picked out. - Yeah. - Yeah, and fighting over the baby toy, they picked out for their brother. So, that's just called having kids, what's new? - That's probably having an almost three and a four year old. - Exactly. Okay, so what are you noticing? Like now that you're feeling, you're in the stage of pregnancy, you're ready for this baby to get out. What are you noticing is helping with the grouchiness. Like what helps you feel better in your day? Nothing. Here's my question, how the heck are you still working out? - Actually, I think I like being alone a little bit more now. - You like being alone. - But I actually feel like I feel that way, but then I also feel really attached to you. Like, and I think that's actually maybe normal. Like towards the end I'm like, I just am really scared of like you not being around me. Like I want you to, you're like my comfort person, even though I'm not like pleasant. Like I'm like, you still gotta be here. So that's a tough place for you to be in. 'Cause I'm like, I'm gonna be grouchy, but I need you right next to me. - Got it. - You gotta suffer through me. I mean, I feel like I haven't been that bad though. Do you think? - No, I was telling you this. Like, you've been so nice to me this pregnancy. Feel like you're just honestly, I think you've been the best version of yourself that I've ever gotten to know. - I gotta get back to that. I think for the past three days since I've been 37 weeks, I just got grouchy and I just gotta get stuck in a. - Well, it's probably really hard to feel all that movement in your stomach and also. - It's the exhaustion. So like I've been having probably what you would call Prodromal labor, which is like where. - I've never even heard of that. What is that? - Yeah, it's like where you're having contractions. They're like not real, but they're intense enough that I like, it's hard to get comfortable and it's hard to sleep. - What does Prodromal mean? - I don't know, what does Prodromal mean? - Fake. - Or did you learn that word? - It means fake. - I know what a Braxton Hick is, but I've never heard of Prodromal. - That's what it is. - Oh, okay, it's another way of saying, it's the same thing. - It's just consistent like long drawn out Braxton Hicks. - Okay. - That like make it so I couldn't sleep. So I've been up a lot of nights just like, with like that tightening. I wouldn't say it hurts. I would honestly have been like, go out if they hurt because then I was like, oh, then that means that it's progressing somewhere. - Yeah. - But it was just intense, but it wasn't hurting. So then I was just like, well, this is just a really weird place to be in because I just can't sleep, but it's not like go time. - Yeah. - So then I was like up, I was up for the day at essentially 1.30 a.m. - Yeah, you got hit with pregnancy insomnia, which is insomnia is horrible. Like people that deal with insomnia, I dealt with that for a brief moment like a year ago. Oh gosh, like that sucks. I, so what did you, what did you do? - Well it's hard when you're already so tired from being pregnant, but then you're also extra tired because I've been having like these contractions. And then you can't sleep. So it's just a little bit crazy. And I feel like your risk of, I mean, I feel like probably your chance of experiencing pro-dromal labor has to go up with each pregnancy, because I just feel like my body's like, oh, we know what to do, but it's like, but wait, it's not the time. So don't start sounding the alarms yet. It's not the worst thing ever, but it certainly is not fun. - Yeah, I just can't believe it. - No way out. - I can't believe you're dilated to three and a half centimeters right now. - I mean, it is, but it's like, what's the point? - At the last pregnancy appointment, the doctor literally could feel the baby when she did the check, the cervical check, or whatever. - Yeah. I don't know, feels like we could just hang out here for a while though, you know? - Yeah. I didn't realize, well, in the past, last two pregnancies, you never really got to that far. - We just didn't never check for the schedule C section, but I was having like those braxton hicks. - You were, okay. So I don't know really what that case was, you know? It's hard to know. - Yeah. - But yeah, so I mean, really what they say is, baby could come now, baby could come on his due day. And we know that like the baby's not gonna go past his due day, or it will all be induced on that day if he's not here before then. But yeah, we'll see, I'm so curious, but also I'm like, I do know that he's gonna come at the right time, and that'll be that. But right now we're just in a weird limbo where it's just like, we're making plans, we're still doing stuff all the time. But it's like, okay, are we gonna actually do that though? Like is our life gonna be completely different at that point? - Yeah. - Because I know that like once you go into the hospital and like you have that baby, like it feels like that version of yourself that made those plans is a totally different person. And so it's like, I'm so anticipating like that big shift happening, but it's like, but when is it gonna happen? - Yeah. - It's exciting. And I feel like we're in a good place 'cause it's like we did nest, we have like everything, like pretty much ready, like, which is great because I feel like for the longest time we had nothing really done. I mean, we don't have a nursery, which is, we'll be fine. - Yeah. - But yeah. - So you're pumping now. You're actively pumping? - I mean, I did pump yesterday for the first time. - Okay, have you, did you pump today? Have you done it twice? - No. - Literally only one time. You're reminded of how much I really don't like pumping. - Is it the contractions that start to happen? - It's just like you're experiencing it, but you don't have your baby. - Yeah. - Yeah, the contractions aren't funny there. But yeah, I'm like, maybe, well, hopefully I don't have to pump a ton in this pregnancy, but what? Hopefully I don't have to pump a ton with this baby. - Yeah. - But yeah, I was pumping, got some colostrum. So this is the first time we're saving it, I guess, I guess we'll save it because I feel like with little babies, sometimes they're, takes a minute for your milk to come in, and sometimes their blood sugar can drop. And I feel like they've always been really pushing the hospital with both times, like with wanting to give them formula. And I'm like, I'd rather you just gave them this colostrum, like instead. - Yeah. - So maybe we'll have to find a way to bring that to the hospital or. - Yeah, how would we bring that? - I guess we'll just have to put it in the little syringes that Addy brought and then freeze it. And then as soon as we get there, put it in their freezer. - Okay. So, okay. - That's an extra step. - So we can bring it. - Hopefully we can make that happen. - We can bring it frozen and then let it like thaw out once further. - I mean, it'll be in tiny syringes. So I feel like you'd barely have to leave it out and it would thaw. - Oh really? - And then they can just put it in, like you just put squeeze a little syringe in their mouth. - Syringes, we feed our baby with a syringe? - I mean, it's one of those things you only do literally the first three days of their life. - Ah, okay. - And then they start eating. - Oh my gosh. - You forget, isn't it so weird? Like you forget? - Yeah. - Like all of it. Like he's gonna have like a little umbilical cords sticking out of his belly. - It's gonna be weird. Like all of the onesies are so tiny. - I know. - That we went through, getting all the clothes folded and put in two-- - Do you think it's just gonna snap back into place? - I think we'll quickly get there. I think we will. - Okay. Like did you think that we would have, would have more confidence at this point? - Yeah. - I kinda thought I would have more confidence. - But I don't know. I think we'll get it. Like I think we'll, we have to, we don't really have an option. - See, unfortunately, I think our most confidence we had was before we had babies. And then now that we have babies, I feel like we just keep losing confidence. - We should have no idea. - Yeah, 'cause you're just like, man, so much of this is like actually out of my hands. And I think that's a better place to be. Because it's like, then you just take the, You roll with the punches more because you're like this was you know this was going to happen either way I don't have control over this 100% but then it is just like now we're on this place we're like well We're at crossroads. We're about we're about to cross into a whole different life Yeah, because like our family that we've like known it will be totally different forever After this point and it's just kind of like wow That's and that's a big thing and that's why I was starting to get more emotional too about like our kids Like our two boys like it's gonna be sad like in a way like we're so we want this baby so bad and We have for so long and we're so excited But then also there's just like a certain sadness for like our family unit as it was. Yeah You're right. You're right. I mean that season of life is is Basically over. Yeah, cuz I know that I know what how it's gonna be like once we have This baby, then it'll be like we kind of even almost like forgot about that version of our family You know, I it's hard to remember a version of our two boys before they could talk I like it. It's like I forgot it's like I've forgotten that they were ever newborns Maybe maybe my brain just like maybe forget about that stage because it was so just forget it so quick Yeah, I guess like your brain only has much capacity for memory, right? My brain has no capacity We've both lived so much life already. I was actually this is so this is so morbid I was like laying in bed last night and I was like, okay if I quadrupled my age That would that would mean that I would be a hundred and twelve Like it like if I I've definitely lived This is this is what I'm talking about like why do you have to keep doing giving me a crisis like Random times. This is the worst time for a crisis. It's weird though to think about like how much of the percentage of our life We've lived see this not the time not the time not the time. Okay But we have I think we have but me we have a lot of life left to live I'm just saying we've lived a lot of life already. There's there's a lot more hopefully. I mean, you know but But you know, we just I guess our brains only have so much memory capacity before you have to kind of Throw some memories away. It's like I was trying to always add like it's inside out You know the scene and inside out we're like I get rid of it and they take the memory and they go And they like get rid of all those memories when joy and sadness are walking through the The stream of memories the library Speaking of speaking of movies. I feel like we've entered that stage with you being so pregnant and Having so much going on we're kind of like in that spot where it's just like Sometimes we gotta just turn on a movie for the kids so we can go set things up Go get a bass and that set up go go get different things prep for our house You know, it's it's kind of Like I think when you first become a parent you think like I'm I'm not doing screen time like we're not we're not ever doing that And then you kind of hit a point where you're like I think I need a little bit of screen time here and there to help me actually Get life done. I wonder what people like people a hundred years ago. I guess they just kind of like let their kids Get hurt a lot more like I feel like if if if your kid is just like playing in the backyard while you're trying to you know Nest and set up baby stuff right like if if you're well They probably didn't do as nearly as much prep as we do nowadays That's true and people but people used to have like seven kids I do think kids just like started to tag along with the parents more like but That is one of those things where it's like it just takes a lot longer if they're like in our space And we're trying to do those things. Okay. Let's jump to talking about the recent pregnancy appointment we had This is the final ultra sound. Yes of this pregnancy what Big news did we learn? Well, I feel like the last scan you have for a lot of big reasons a lot of them is like to estimate the baby's size Which was gonna be a big factor in finalizing our birth plan. Yeah, you want to make sure the baby's in a good position for For birth your placenta isn't a good position like all those things And everything really looks good He's head down his he's like pretty much fully Post-earlier we had that problem with our first like going sunny side up is what they call it And it's just not a favorable position to like deliver a baby in Obviously he can still flip I don't think he'll flip not head down But he could flip face up again still they kind of tell you also like if you're dilated You're a facement, which is like your thick thickness of your cervix and your Station that the baby's in like in your pelvis And we also find out that our doctor's gonna be out of town We knew she was gonna be out of town for a period of time. Yeah, just from when you're just the the week the 38 She's only out of town when you're 38 weeks. Yeah, so the baby comes before then we're good after then we're good But in that time zone in that timeline when she's gone What what are you thinking about that? It would be okay? I'm I keep saying I'm like trauma bonded to this doctor because she delivered our daughter And I just like had this like vision of just like this redemptive birth with her because she was amazing Yeah, and I feel like a lot of people that have gone through Situations like this like where you've gone through a loss with a doctor have like polarizing Experiences where it's like I never want to see you again. I'm associating you with this horrible time or it's like I Really just want like I feel like you were Like pivotal in such a dark time like I want to now have like a redemptive experience with her like I trust her so much through going through that Experience so it's like I really would love for her to be the one delivering our baby But I'm also like it's just out of our hands like if the baby decides to come then Which it's like he very likely could come when she's back or Even even potentially before she leaves. It's not a huge deal But the rest of our met our like OB team is fully on board with like RV back given every other detail that we've Given them the baby still measuring like right at 56% tile So that's great. So yesterday. He was six pounds and 15 ounces Which is very normal so he'll probably be our doctors like we're expecting like Seven seven and a half pounds she said eight at the most I was like no, let's say seven and a half I wasn't expecting for her to say that her baby was just shy of seven pounds really that was pretty shocking to me I thought the babies in a way like five pounds and something ounces you thought we're gonna have a five pound baby I don't know like I thought since we still have potentially like two you know two three weeks Like I thought oh, we're yeah, we're at like five cuz I thought they grow by like again It's been so long, but I thought it was gonna be like a you know two pound growth in the last like two weeks I'm gaining like two pounds every week But no, I don't think she's like I'm not expecting like I don't know. I think he's just gonna be perfectly average and that will be great and he feels a lot smaller than our other Babies like in my belly like he does and the fluid looks good The thing that was a little weird was that my blood pressure was high and that's never been the case And I know that's something they take really really seriously at the end of pregnancy like your blood pressure is like something that is like They will take a baby out really quick. I think your blood pressure is high because it's related to pre-clampsia, which is pretty serious Which I've never had before But it was high when she took it and they're like, okay, well, we need to check again before you leave And then we left we didn't even check again like no one remembered and so then I called Back to the clinic and I like talked to my doctor and she was like well if you have a cup at home Just take your blood pressure and if it's normal, it's Then we're fine. We'll see what your next appointment if it's high then you need to come back in and also do some blood work And we just did it with our at home cuff and it was normal and I don't have any other Like major symptoms of like they I think the symptoms are like a really bad headache Vision changes Things like that and I didn't have those So hopefully everything's fine with that. That's the thing that really could change our birth plan I guess as if it for some reason ends up getting high but That was weird. Maybe she just took it really she did take it really fast But it's never been high before so that was weird and it wasn't like a little bit high. I was like really high How did it feel to have the membrane sweep yesterday? You know what they've never Like I feel like if they're gonna work. They're probably more painful Yeah, cuz you didn't really react to I thought you were gonna be in a lot of pain So I came up next to you to hold your hand and you didn't even like really flinch I mean I've done it before and I just knew what to expect because I've heard a lot of women Have severe pain when that happens I think it probably just depends all on like your baby's position. Yeah, like he's still kind of high He's that and he was at a negative two station somebody that made it less painful. Mm-hmm. I mean, I don't know also I feel like I feel like literally right now. I'm not real. Okay, but Yeah, I feel like they can it's like they're gonna hurt really bad if it's gonna send you into labor or they like Don't hurt that bad if it's not the real thing or maybe it's because it was already dilated to like a three and a half that it didn't hurt I don't know Yeah, I have to really do much. It's already open. I'm yeah, I'm still shocked. I I'm just amazed at the human body and the fact that like The the fact that she could actually feel our baby and and just how casually she was like, "All right, members, we've done. "I can feel your baby. "You're at three and a half centimeters dilated." Okay, first of all, how do they know three and a half centimeters? - That's still amazing. - They're just like, they just know off of feel. - I know, that does amazing. - How do you know a measurement just based off of with your hand? - They're amazing. I don't know. - There's no device of use. - One of my friends is a labor and delivery nurse and I'm like, how do you know? She's like, you just do it a lot. - You just do it a lot. - But then, what's your baseline? Do they have, like, do they practice membrane sweep? - They stretch like that. - But like, see, if I'm going in dark and I'm like feeling around my finger, like I would have no idea, like, am I at five centimeters to my two centimeters? Like, I guess they just practice a lot on a doll? I don't know. - They probably have, like, - Is there a membrane sweep doll in their training program? - Not sweet, but like to check dilation, I'm sure they have some type of model. - Like a mannequin? - Yeah. - Sorry, all right, class, take out your notebooks. We're gonna be doing membrane sweeps. Who's up first? Like, is it like that? - Yeah, 'cause it is only a centimeter. Like, that is so impressive. - I'm still forward. - I've seen those mannequins where they're like, delivering babies. - I would have thought there'd be some sort of, like, AI measurement tool that then you have to, like, put on your fingers and then it has like a magnet so then it can, like, tell the distance between your fingers or something. Like, the fact that they just, - Matt, babies have been born since the beginning of time. - Obviously, yeah, of course. - AI. - But, like, we live in a world where there's driverless vehicles now. So I thought that there might be some more advanced technology for the measurements. - There's need to be, there's not. - Apparently, there's not. - It's good enough, maybe there is, and everyone's just still using their fingers and saying, "Oh, three and a half, all right, we're good." You know? - Yeah, also, none of that stuff, I don't know what this says about me or my body. None of that stuff has ever bothered me that much. Like, people are like, "I don't wanna get a cervical check because it hurts." Like, that has never bothered me. I don't know if it's the location of my cervix. I don't know if it's, I literally don't, I can't tell you what it is. It's just never really bothered me. - Yeah. - And getting a membrane through it has never really bothered me either. So I don't know. Like, it doesn't feel good. - I do think you have a higher pain tolerance than other people though. - Stand up, but I'm like, based off of what? - I think you do. - I'm saying you do some crazy stuff. - Anyway, so yeah, I got the membrane to eat and then just felt like, you know, the typical crampy, the typical, and then my contractions are basically only at night. - Yeah. - So that's great. - Yeah, and also, you know, we had what could have been our last date night since before we had this baby. And we went to Dentife Fung, which was really good actually. I thought I was not gonna like it, but I didn't like it. - Yeah, you were saying it wasn't me good. I was like, it was so good. Matt didn't like that you have at Dentife Fung that you like order on a card. - I don't like that. - Why? - I like to just tell the person what I want. - Well, I think the reason is that way is 'cause it's family style. - Yeah, it confuses me though. I feel like I'm doing homework like marking down answers on the people. - You don't like family style. - Yeah, has anybody been to a restaurant like that where you order on a piece of paper? You know, it's, I think a lot of certain Asian restaurants have that. - Yeah. - Like sushi rolls, like we've been to like a sushi place where the-- - You know, kind of what Dentife Fung is, it's elevated Asian takeout. - Are you serious? That's what it is? - That's what you think. I'm just saying that, I don't know. - Because we went to that place, is it called like a subway thing where they, like-- - That was horrible. - What's it called where they bring the rolls out on the-- - The conveyor belt sushi. - Yeah, the conveyor belt. - Awful. - No, but I thought it was fun. - I like that. - It was a really fun concept. And it would have been amazing if it was actually good sushi. It was just disgusting sushi. - Well, Dentife Fung was really good. - That was called Listeria, sushi. - I, I, I, I, I thought the food was gonna be bad 'cause I ate your leftovers when you went to Dentife Fung. - You ate it cold the next day, that's not fair. - And I didn't use any of the, and any of the-- - Chili oil, the ginger, the soy sauce, the vinegar. - None of that. I didn't use any of that. - Messed up. You need all the fixings. - So this time, I really covered everything and the good stuff and boy was, was I impressed. - So good. I want it back now. - Especially the mango shaved ice. Whoo, that was good. - Yeah, it was so good. - Yeah, really good dessert. - I ate those spicy noodles. You know, they say spicy stuff can put you into the labor. It didn't do it. - Didn't do it. - Didn't do it. - But maybe your, maybe your body is not ready. - It's just not ready yet, it's just not ready. - Yeah. - It's just practicing a lot, which is really great for me. - It's just practicing. - I know, I actually don't like that it's doing that because, you know, the risk of a V-back is you'd run rupture and I'm like, I need my uterus to rest. - Yeah. - Rest so you can handle this. It's gonna be a lot for you. Okay, you have an incision in there. - What are you doing to battle this Arizona heat that we're having right now? It's been so hot, it's been-- - It's been making me so grouchy. - Awful, it's like looking at my phone today, while I was outside, I was like, "Why am I so hot?" and I was like, "Oh, it's 107, that's why I'm hot." That's why I'm sweating through my shirt. - It's cruel, it's unusual. - What are you doing to get over that? - Just, I get really grouchy. It's so hot. - Especially with kids too, 'cause, you know, you don't wanna put your kid into a hot car. - I know, it is really scary. - Yeah, so-- - The cars get so hot are like, our car will say what the internal temperature is. I don't know how accurate it is, but usually it's like 163. I keep telling myself I'm gonna do this. - It's like, you can literally, this is an oven. - I've really wanted to either fry eggs or bake cookies inside our car. - Yeah. - Because I've heard that people have done that, and I know that we could-- - But do you think about it? - What? - Inside our car, not inside, that would've-- - Oh yeah, like on the dash. Like, if I look at our Tesla, our Tesla-- - It says 160, you know what cookies are baked at? - If I don't have temperature control on inside the Tesla, it'll get like to 160 degrees. - I just said that, like-- - Yeah, I know, but that's still really hot. Not enough to bake a cookie. - I think it could technically bake it. Not like, well, it's not gonna be perfectly done. - Do you know what temperature ovens are when you bake a cookie? - Like 350. - Okay, yeah. - That's, yeah, I'm not an idiot. - I need a cookie right now. - Okay, babe, we've got a dog now. How do you think we're gonna introduce this dog to our baby? - I mean, I already told certain friends that are like dog people. I'm like, when you come over, postpartum, just like make sure you show pretzel extra love and like play with her. - Yeah. - Because obviously she's probably gonna feel like a little less attention. But I'm also really glad that we have her for our toddlers. Like, they're gonna have a lot of fun still with her. They play with her all the time. - I like how they've incorporated her into their play. - Literally today, they're playing a game with her and they're like, no pretzel, that's not how we play it. Like, I think that she knows it was. - What was the game? - It was with, he was stacking water bottles and she kept knocking them down, it was just dumb. - I think it's funny that oftentimes I'll be a monster and chase them and then sometimes pretzel will get to be the monster. But I don't think pretzel really knows that she's the monster, but she is. - She's. - So that's hilarious. - I think we'll probably just like when, I mean, a lot of our, we have nieces and nephews and then also a lot of friends and babies that come over to our house. Like we sometimes just like let her get a sniff in and then we have to really pull her back because she's a puppy still. She's very eager and excited. - The tricky thing is teaching her how to appropriately swim in a pool because she's such a great swimmer. She loves the water, but when our kids are in the water, she's like, she's scratched me before when she's swimming. - She's doggy paddling. - And so like, I've told them to like keep your distance from pretzel, don't get in her line of fire. - She's to be a solo swimmer. - But yeah, it's tricky to navigate the whole swimming with a dog thing because she just kind of scratches ya, you know? - Good thing we're not putting our baby in the pool for a while. - Yeah, baby's not going in the pool. - Actually, you know what? - What? - He probably could because it's so warm. Like. - You're right. - But there's a lot of chemicals for their little skin for a little bit. - Yeah, maybe not. - We'll have to just look what's recommended. But it's the great temperature for a baby right now. - Yeah, probably not right away, but yeah, I mean, the water is probably about the same temperature as my womb. - Yeah, it's warm, it's warm water for sure. - Did you care actually at our appointment, the lady when she was measuring our amniotic fluid, she was like, they only need like two centimeters. - To breathe. - To breathe through that. I mean, obviously they're getting oxygen also from the umbilical cord, but I was like, that is crazy. There doesn't need to be that much fluid in there. I feel like I don't have that much fluid. Like, I got a lot fluffier, not fluffier, but like more swollen. - Okay. - With my first pregnancy, then my second, and then this one, I feel like I'm like less, I'm definitely still swollen, but not like I was the previous one. So I feel like your body just adjust, like it's used to pregnancy more. - I was watching a video from our first, you know, first time around, you were pregnant with Griffin, you looks completely different. - I mean, I'm definitely feeling like in these last few weeks, like, definitely more so, which I don't care, but. - It is crazy though how every single pregnancy is different. Every single pregnancy is different, yeah. Every single baby is different. Yeah, it's gonna be so interesting to see how, like his little personality type, like in my head, I feel like I already know him. Obviously, I'm like, he's really chill and he's really funny. - Yeah. - Those are like the two things that I'm like, locked in on, like he's a chill and funny dude. But, that was actually funny. His, all of his measurements are very consistent like 56. percentile, I think his head was a little smaller, but they also said it's kind of hard for them to measure the head when he's already like kind of engaged on there, but they do say he has a big belly. And I was like, this belly's like 90th percentile, I was like, that's amazing. He's getting a lot of nutrients in there. That's the other thing. I can't be bothered to cook anymore. I don't want to do it. I know we've been getting some good take out and getting saldened go. That's a local spot near. I know that's saldened go once. You've just been getting saldened. I go to saldened go a lot. Where have you been getting your food? I've been eating a lot of leftovers, but I've been making you grill like every night. Oh yeah, I mean grilling is easy though. I like grilled. We've got Shake Shack one night. Shake Shack is so good. We're mooching off of our friends because we have a birthday party like every evening. So I'm like, well, you whatever they have at the birthday party. That'll be fun. We're scavengers. Our fridge is empty. Okay. No milk. Abbie. Nothing. I like, I just had a realization moment today. I seriously feel like a month ago, I was saying out loud to our family. What would it be so cool when our kids CJ and August are like grown up and can play together? Like this is before they're even alive. This is while they're in the womb. Like I just remember verbally saying this and saying to my parents, wow, this can be crazy that Caleb's gonna have a kid and I'm gonna have a kid that are just like basically the same age. And now they're best buddies. And now here we are where they're best buddies and they're both turning three. Like it just that all the cliches, all the, whoa, they grow up so fast. Like that's so true. And I'm finding myself saying all the same stuff. My parents said when I was a kid, you know, okay, when you're a kid and you go to a party like some with family or even even friends and you haven't seen people in a year, every single time. What did people say to you as a kid? It's actually really strong. We was at a kick. No, it's a get traction. A contraction. What? And it's just, it's just your uterus. How do you describe it? Feel it. Let me feel. Sorry. Holy cow. He's just getting. Abby. Do you please tell me you actually feel that? I can feel it. And this is why I'm so tired. I'm so, and this is what's hitting you at 1 a.m. when you're trying to sleep. No wonder you have to take unison to knock yourself out. I'm just glad that's pregnancy safe. The unison. There'd be no way for you to sleep with this. It still wakes me up. Is it still going on? This has been a longer one. How long does it last? How many seconds is that going on? Still going on. I feel like this is a long one. Normally, they're really short. Goodness. And you're just feeling it. Is it just pushing? Is it just pushing baby down? Like, do you just feel the baby going? I don't. I don't. Sometimes it feels downward, but more than anything. It just feels like it's just like closing it on itself. That's why I'm like, "My uterus needs to take a break," because she's susceptible to a rupture. So I'm like, "Take it easy, girl." This isn't real. It's like, literally, they keep sounding these alarms. It's like it's time to go. And then people keep saying, "Now you're not going to know when it's time." I was like, "No, I'll know," because then they'll be consistent and they'll hurt and they'll be like a steady amount apart, you know? Are you nervous for the V back? I think I'll be nervous once it's actually go time. I think right now I'm just kind of like, I always say that's the blessing of the end of pregnancy. You're so uncomfortable that labor sounds delightful. That it sounds like a better option than continuing as you are, you know? Have you changed your mind on the epidural at all? What was my mind? I feel like you were team get the epidural. Yeah, I'm still teaming at the epidural. And for a little bit, you were like, "Maybe I don't want to." I think I'll probably still wait until the goal is to get it when I'm like six or seven centimeters dilated. I did find it hilarious. Ardulla was like, which, you know, I respect this thought process of like, it's natural to not have the epidural and just go in natural. Like, I respect that, but I did find it funny when our own doula was like, I will say, though, I got the epidural. It was pretty freaking awful. I know. And I'm like, all right, like that. I saw someone today they're like, this is like when people ask about my birth plan. This is what this is what I tell them. And it's like, you know, like, game the Sims. I never played that. But it's like, this was my plan. It's like, she's like, it's like this video game character. We're going to have to put this on the screen, because I'm not going to describe it well. She's like, pregnant. And then she like turns around. And then she's like, skinny and holding a baby. And it was like, I was like, yeah, that's my plan. I just want to she's like, this is what it sounds like your birth plan is. I'm like, yeah, I just want to have fun. I want the baby to come. Yeah. I want it to be redemptive. And I want to have fun. So that's just, let's just let it be that way. I don't know. I think I'm just like, whatever will be, will be case to Ross raw, right? What does that mean? Case to Ross. It means whatever will be will be the future's not ours to see. That's the definition of that. Please tell me you know the song. How do you sing the case to Ross raw? What ever will be this from musical? You're kidding. You don't know this song. How do you know this song? I've been singing this before. I've heard you sing it. I've heard you sing it or I've heard you say it. I don't know if I've heard you sing it, but I don't know what it's from. It's just a famous song. The man who knew the man who knew knew too much. Have you seen the movie? No, it's just a famous song. Did your grandpa teach you this? Did your grandma heard you? How do you learn this? I think my mom did. Do you want to bring her in here? This episode's gone off the rails. I don't want to do this. I don't want to work. Yeah. Okay. Buy me out of here. If you guys didn't know, Abby will be taking a maternity leave. She'll be taking some time off from the podcast. Her friends will be joining her podcast. We've already filmed enough unplanned. So then yeah, we've had some super cool guests on the show. So very excited for you guys to get to see who those special guests are. But in case someone's like, oh my gosh, how am I going to get through Wednesday without you guys? You still can. We'll just have some cool guest episodes. We need to practice right here on the podcast. What are you going to say when I'm in labor, but I don't have the epidural? Or if the epidural doesn't work like it should, like it did the first time? I'm going to say your body knows exactly what it needs to do. Yes, that's a good one. I'm going to say that you're with each contraction, you're one step closer to meeting or a baby. That's a good one. And I'm going to say, you're a badass. I'm going to say you're. That's great. I want to hear that. I'm going to say, go, go, go, go. And then I'll play like rap music. That would piss me off. Okay. Rap music would piss me off. I like to listen to like, I like to listen to throwback worship music. Yeah. That like is like, chanting. Yeah. Like, give me an example. No, that's too slow. That's too slow. No, I need one that's like, "My God, it's not dead. It's just a lie." Yeah, that one. From heaven to heaven. That's the kind of thing I mean. So start playing that. That helped you a lot, actually. That's what I was listening. Just put it in my headphones. And then just let me be like, throwback Christian. Yeah. That's what you like. Not just throwback Christian. Throwback worship. And then also, I just want you to say good job. Yeah. I really feel like that's something that really resonates with me. Like, say it right now. Say, no, no, say like, you're doing a good job. You're doing a good job. No, but say like, you mean it. You know what I do. This is good that we're practicing this because I don't want to do this when I'm in it. Let's pray. Yes. Okay. So let's, let's review. I'm going to be saying, and I'm say, "Hey babe, with every contraction, you're one step closer to meeting your baby." No, it's got to have more of like a, breath. You pretend that you're me right now. Oh, my uterus. Okay. Say I'm not going to be talking. Okay. And then I'd be like, okay, hey, you're doing, you're doing a really good job. Good job. You're so strong. I'm proud of you. That's what I want to hear. I want to be like, good job, like a coach. Okay. I'm ready this down right now. So we've got, like, when I'm done with a contraction, I want to hear a good job, like a football coach. Things to say to Abby while she's giving birth. You could even throw in there like a good job, good job. Uh, hmm. I was going to say buddy, but that just doesn't feel right. Okay. Okay. Wait, yeah, why buddy? Why would you want that? I feel like if you were to say breathe, that would really piss me off for some reason. Why would me sing breathe, piss you off? Because I'm like, well, duh, I have to breathe. Okay. So don't say anything stupid. I don't say anything that's just like obvious. Yeah. But then like, why is saying good job? Like why is that so obvious, though? Like you're doing such a good job saying you're doing such a good job. That would be really good. Such a good job. Yeah. And also just so you know, all of this is susceptible to change. You could completely decide in the moment, like, shut up. Maybe I want silence. I don't want to hear any of that. I actually did see that. That's how I feel about touching. Like touching is sometimes good and touching is sometimes really bad when you're pain. I think I honestly just think I was like nervous because there was so much blood and I had never seen you in so much pain before that I was going, Abby, you're so strong. You're so brave. You're so strong. You're so. And I found I thought I sounded annoying and everybody in the comments on our first vlog, which like those people have not experienced super pubic pressure. They have it, but they were all like, wow, my husband was saying that. No, I like that because you couldn't be next to me. They pushed you to this side and then they were jumping on my belly. It is funny, though, how like what for one for one person could be really encouraging words for another person could be like, I know a lot of women like rap music and like during, when they're in labor, I didn't want that. - That's not you, I don't. - But I wanted, ♪ Oh God, there's an awesome God here ♪ - Like, what about, what about like Justin Bieber? - I don't think that's me. - Yeah, not you. - No, not me. Also, this was when it was like getting intense. - Or, or I could pretend. - And then I wanted hypno-burling in my ears. - Yeah, 'cause then you listened to the hypno-burther and she's like, with every breath, you're one step higher. - See, it's crazy that you're saying that because in my head, she wasn't talking. - What? - She was like. - I was genuinely hypnotized. - She was like, mama, just breathe and know that with every contraction, you're one step closer to meeting your baby. - See, like that right there is doing something right now. - Your body, you speak these words, let them overwhelm your body. - See, right now you're actually transporting me. - Your body knows exactly what it means to do. - That's what I'm saying, I think that's good. - It's such a calming voice. - Put that on too. - Would that piss you off if I tried to do that calming voice? - What are you doing now? - Okay. - That's for her. - We'll put on the hypno-burther sweetie. - So we have three skills right now that you know. - Okay. - And then here's what I want you to do as far as physical touch. I want you to do that magical thing that the doula taught you with my hips. - Yes, yes, the squeeze. - Yes. - Where I relieve the pressure on her. - But also when it's like not that intense, but it's like early labor, I swear you put my hair. That feels so good. - Okay. - And then, yeah, that's probably it. Maybe in between contractions, maybe the drink of water, some ice. We already lost the frickin' birth coms that the lady gave us. So she said she was gonna bring some to the hospital with us. - Dang it. How did we lose those? Honestly, I blame our kids. I don't think we lost them. I think they played with them and put them somewhere that we can't find. - They do look fun. - Or it was pretzel. Maybe pretzel eighth the birth coms. - Probably. - Pretzel eighth your shoe today. - Yeah, our kids can do no wrong. That dog can do some more. - That dog has ruined. You know what I saw? I didn't tell you this. I caught our dog chewing up our rug again last night. - Yeah. - After I took a shower. - I caught her on the frickin' dining table like a billy goat. Did you know that? - Yeah. - Twice. - Two times. - She was on our table. - Standing there, just like. - Was she eating food off the table both times? - There was no food on the table. - She was on the dining table. - Yeah. - Why? - She's the billy goat. - Was there a toy up there? Was there something that she wanted? - She said anything but a dog. She said goat, she's an otter. - She's a billy goat, she's an otter. - She's a hound. - She's a hound. - Yeah, that is hilarious. - Wait, so do you feel prepared now for labor? Like do you feel like you know what I need? Do you know what I want? - I think I do. All I have on my leg. - Don't ever touch my belly. That's a thing. - Don't touch your belly, okay. Wait, why not? - 'Cause I don't even like it when you just felt that contraction your hand lingered for too long. Because my skin is stretched so tight that it's just like you might actually rupture it. - Goodness, okay. I've got that written down. - You're not actually gonna do that, but. - I'll do whatever you want me to do. - Here's the thing. I actually feel like I do need to say this. - Yes. - And this might need to get cut. But I just need you to know this while it's on my mind. - Okay, go for it. - I know that when I'm in that gown, I'm not gonna have a bra on or underwear on. And I know that you're gonna know that. And I know that you can add so much. - Oh my gosh. - Abby, you really think I'm being fancy? - I think you might. I think you might. - You'd be getting handy while you're giving birth. - I don't trust you with my birth. - You see, I am. - With your. - And here's the thing that actually made me so mad that I think about a lot at the hospital. They didn't let me wear a sports bra. And I wanted to because I knew that they were gonna leak. - Okay. - Because whenever my boobs were free, they just decide to just like, I don't know, release something, especially in labor. - Okay. - And they were like, no, you can't. They told me that. I couldn't wear a bra. - Crazy. - And I was like, please. And so then when Griffin's born and all those pictures, my boobs are just like wet circles. And I just felt, I don't like that stimulation. I don't like that touch of my nipple on the gown. And I had it. And so I just need you to know that. - Yeah, of course. - There's no touching the belly. - No touchy. - The boobs. - Certainly. - You're not gonna wanna touch down there. - Only the hips. - Only the hips. - Yes, that's right. - And only touching her baby to the lip or the baby. - My hair, remember, you're just like doing that. - I can play with you. I'm gonna do not list. - Don't touch anything else. - Do not touch Abby's belly, boobs, or what was the other thing? - Butt. - Butt, no touching your butt. But if I'm touching your hips though, that's basically your butt. - No. - I'm literally touching your butt when I'm doing the hips piece. - Yeah, and when you, yeah, that's the problem. Sometimes at night when you're doing that to relieve pressure, your hands drift. And that's not what it's about. It's not, it's about even a little bit. - Okay, so I have, do not touch belly boobs butt. Do touch hips and hair. - Hips hair. You can actually even scratch my back. That sounds fine too. - Back scratches are welcome, okay? - Yeah. - What else? - And just remember what to say to me. And what to play. - You're doing such a good job with every contraction. You're one step closer to me than your baby. - Yes, you're such a good job. I like that, I like that. Say you're so tough, you can say that. I liked it earlier when you said you're a badass. I think that would be good. - You're a badass, I'm putting that in all caps. - And then, if I, here's a good way to tell that. - A badass. - If I look at you like. - But no touching your ass. Just saying that you're a bad, what? - Don't confuse that. - Yeah. - No, if I look at you like this, like then that's like snuck it off. - Knock it off. - And it's not even like not, and don't even make a joke about knocking it off. Just like instantly change your behavior. - Okay. - And then if it's, if I look at you and I like kind of just give you one of these, like a little bit, that means that was okay. But it doesn't mean do it again. - Yeah. - 'Cause sometimes if I smile at you, you get really excited. You just do it over and over and over. But you could bring it up again later. - Wait, what am I allowed to bring up again later? - If I smile at you and you like crack a joke. But if it's a joke, that's, I don't wanna hear that right now that I'm just gonna give you this. - Got it. - Or I'm not gonna look at you at all. - Okay, okay. - Okay. - This is good. I feel like I'm glad we hash this out because I just don't wanna harbor resentment in those times. - I agree. - Oh, and don't get on your phone. - No being on the phone. - And if you get food, don't bring it around me. - Don't bring the food. No food around you. - And don't take a nap. - Don't, no nap. - Unless given permission. - This is really good. Like, no, I'm glad I have, I feel like this is like the blue bridge. - He likes to explicit, explicit instructions. - It's so helpful. - So this is good. - I'm glad we're in this. - I'm glad we're doing this and I think that, oh, I do really want you to hold the baby. Like I want you to do skin to skin while I get such as, I don't wanna hold the baby while I get such as I want you to hold the baby. - Okay, I've got all this, do hold the baby. - They were trying to have me hold the baby while I was getting stitches and I was like, excuse me. - I'm hopeful this time that you won't tear and that you won't need to get stitches. You think you're gonna tear? - Yeah. - Why do you think you'll tear? - Because have you seen what the size of a baby's head? - It is, yeah, that's true. - Have you seen the nature of-- - Maybe if we just put some clothes. - Where that's coming out of? - Maybe, you know, I don't know. - No, you know what people do is they do those massages. - To help. - Yeah. - They like try to stretch the area. - Yeah, and I'm like, I actually am opting out of that. - Up to 85% of women's hair. - 85% of women's hair is incredible. - Here's this blowing my mind, okay? Like, 85% of 90% whatever, tear. - And guess what, that's not the worst part. - What did ladies do hundreds of years ago? Like, they got stitches. - But like, you're telling me that people knew it as stitch people up about 500 years ago? - Think about war. - I guess you're right, but I guess people just die. Like, think about all the infection that could have happened. - Yeah. - It's like tear to your butt and then that, it's all mixed up in there. - Seriously. - That's awful. - That's why I know that women are tougher. - I do think you probably, yeah, I would say you have a harder than me. Like giving birth is pretty pretty. - No, but it's like I'm excited to do it. Like, I'm pumped, I'm amped. - Yeah. - Like, I want to do it. - Yeah. - I want to do it. Like, I'm like stoked. For me, like, when we were talking with our duo about like, what is like birth to you? Matt said trauma. I said game day. - And so I'm like, it's like put me in. - Yeah. - Because I feel like, it's true. Like our bodies are uniquely created to do this. It's not like it's not supposed to happen. And yeah, I mean, I just hope that it would be really cool if it was just a first degree tear this time. That'd be great. - Yeah, and it sucked that, when you got your stitches, they had to be done, you had to get 'em done twice. So that's not happened. - That's not happened. - That's not happening. - That's not happening this time. - No, one time is enough. - Yeah, we don't need that. - Yeah, but you know what? I didn't have a ton. My recovery from that really wasn't bad either. So I feel like this is better that you know what to do. - Uh-huh. - The other expectation is that whenever the baby cries, you're bringing the baby to me and I'm not getting out of bed to get the baby. And I feel like you know that one, anyway. You already knew that. Oh, don't let them give the baby formula. - Oh, yeah, do not give baby formula. We're not doing that. - We're not doing that. - Not only if it's like we end up, like I feel like I could just pump it out and we actually already have stuff. - If a nurse tries to give our baby formula, I'm like, walk up to, I'm gonna smack it out of their hand. Get that out of here. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna yell that too. - I think that would be good. - Just to intimidate them, you know? - Yeah, I think that would be good. - Yeah. - We'll just ask questions. - And she's gonna be like, we're just supplebating the breastly ability. Oh, if she's like, hey, their blood sugars are dropping and it's like, hey, you know what, my wife has prepared something for this exact occasion. With her own breasts, she has made colostrum for this exact occasion. So that's good. The things that I. - You really think I'm gonna say that to a nurse. My wife. - It's your baby. - With her own breasts has prepared colostrum for this very moment. So you don't need to be bringing in any formula up in here. You want me to say that? - You can just say, we actually have, prepared colostrum that we can do in this case. - Okay, sounds good. I can say that. - Okay, yeah. And if a lactation consultant tries to group me, what do you say? - Oh God, pull that. Well, 'cause when the last time we worked with a lactation consultant, our baby kicked you in the-- - In the C-section incision. - In the C-section incision. - Yep, that wasn't good. I almost yeeted our baby off of the hospital bed because of such things. It felt like a hot knife entering my abdomen. Are you gonna let, if we ever have a lactation consultant come in, are you gonna let them see that you're using a nipple shield or not? - I think this time I'm gonna be my own lactation consultant. - Yeah. - It's a third journey. I feel like, if anything, I would let them tell me what fully inch size was like my perfect size. - Okay. - 'Cause that little template that we used the other day didn't kill the most accurate. (laughs) That was dehumanizing, I didn't like it. I didn't like that you saw it. I actually felt embarrassed. - Really? - Yeah. - Nipple up to the different flavors. - It was gross. - It was gross, just finding something that fits your body. - I almost came to eye contact with you right now. I'm a little embarrassed by that. - Why? - 'Cause it was gross. - I don't think it's gross. I think it's cool. - And those girls are like 15 millimeter. I'm like, you're so cute. (laughs) I need the biggest size. (laughs) Anyway. - Everybody submitted some questions on my Instagram, we end the Unplanned Podcast Instagram. So if you're not following all of us on Instagram, what are you doing? Okay, get with the program. So our first question, this one comes from, Brianna says, "Is Abby taking time off from both podcasts?" Actually, I already answered this. Yes, she is. She'll be taking a short or long, whatever you really want, honestly. - I'm thinking two weeks off. - Which Abby's taking two weeks off and we'll be having guest episodes on Unplanned and then on Always Here, we'll have-- - guest episodes that I'm in that I've just already filmed. - Yeah, they're pre-filmed. And then on Always Here, are there any pre-filmed episodes? - Yeah, there's pre-filmed and then there's one week that my friends are gonna step in. - Okay, so there you go. - Let's also say, we've offered her more than two weeks. - They've offered me more than two weeks. - Yes, Abby's just, she's a workhorse, she's amazing. - Well, it just messes everything up. - Yeah, and you're popular lady. You're very, you know, people like being around you. - Don't wanna. - I don't wanna create more work for myself now. - And I also don't wanna create more work for other people. - Yeah, you were saying-- - So, there's that. - This is from Kylie, she said, for Abby, any advice or hacks for being pregnant with other toddlers running around? What are you doing to help-- - Shows. - Turn on, turn on Disney last week. - I mean, that's, I gotta be so real because I feel like that is something that I actively feel guilty about at this stage, but I'm also like-- - I think, you know, we've kind of hit that point where our kids have grown up a lot. They, you know, they get a ton of playtime in the day. - They do play a lot. - But there's periods of time where like, you just have to get stuff done around the house. You have work that needs to be done. You're a working mom. - It's also for safety because they will, they're the type of kids that will get into something. - Like, we like to have some time where they're, you know, if we're in the kitchen, cooking dinner and they're playing in the backyard. Okay, if somebody gets hurt, we're gonna hear them go, "Oh!" and then we'll run back and go check on them to make sure they're okay. - Yeah. - But it's like, we can't just leave our kids unattended while we're filming a podcast or like doing some long extended period of work together. So, you know, having a movie on is-- - Well, they do a lot of activities too, but yeah, we've, they've had more show, they've had more screen time than usual for sure. - Oh, yeah, but I think that's, but we're kind of entering this transition where they're gonna be in school. So we're weeks away from them literally being in school multiple days in the week. - For three hours. - Okay. - But I, my other, my real advice too, which has been my advice before I was pregnant, but this is especially helpful when I am pregnant is taking them out of the house. It's way better to get out of the house, even though it feels daunting. - Yeah. - And to let them play with other kids. So then you're not the one that's like constantly like feeling like you have to be their play buddy. Like, we go to a lot of, since it's so hot in Arizona right now, we go to a lot of play gyms and they like play with a ton of other kids, they run around, they get so sweaty and have so much fun. And so then it's, but it's not me. Like, I'm literally, I'm surely plopped my booty in a chair. - Yeah. - Like while they're playing. And that's like, that's honestly my best advice. And also to just accept help if you need it, if you can, like if there's people offering like to hang out with your kids or to, even just scheduling a play date, it offloads you once again being the play buddy. - Yeah. - And I do feel guilty about that 'cause I'm like, I mean, I feel like I have not been as good about playing with my kids, but I do know that this is a short season. - Totally. And you have so much time, like you spend so much time with them. - Yeah. - So, I don't know, them playing with other kids is also great for their development too. - Oh, also reading books with them. That's something that they really like and I can do seated, surely. And I love reading books to them. - This is from Caitlin. She said, what is the hardest part about having kids? Probably just a transition. I would say into it. I think your time isn't your own anymore. That's probably, I would say that's the hardest part. It's like your. - Your time is not your own anymore. - Yeah. Bingo. You just have to adapt to thinking about feeding them. - But they're schedule. - You know, yeah, everything is kind of around. - Their needs come first, before years. And like, it's crazy how that goes into every area of your life, even where what we eat is also kind of determined by them, things like that. But also, I think it's probably the one of the greatest things that you can, as a human experience and in this act of selflessness. - Yeah, yeah. I think. - And I just, there's so much deep purpose in having kids. This is from Stacey, she said, "Do your kids favor one parent and want them for everything? How do you handle it?" - Feel like, for us, not the most. - I feel like it's 'cause we're so 50/50. Like, it's not like you're gone for the work day and I'm home with them all day. Like, we both handle work in home, 50/50. So I feel like they really don't have a preference. I mean, they definitely prefer me for more like, if they're hurt or sick or sad. And they go to you more for like, play and just anything exciting. - They go from me whenever they need. - Whenever they need a bad guy to chase him around or a lightsaber dual buddy, that's me, I'm always, I'm always a bedtime guy. - You're so good at it. - Anytime I'm traveling or away. - Yeah, your bedtime stories could use a little. - What's wrong with my bedtime stories? - They're not PC. - There's a lot of fart. - Yeah. - A lot of poop jokes in my bedtime stories, but that makes them laugh. - Yeah, but do you understand like, our kids are going around saying poop and two and all this stuff and like other kids' parents are like, we don't say that. Like. - How often does that happen? - Not to our kids, but they're correcting their own kids for those things that you're telling them in their bedtime story. - What's wrong with that? - I don't have a problem with it either, honestly, but sometimes. - Why do we do this? - They think it's hilarious. - Sometimes I'm like, maybe they don't need to just go up to another random kid and poopy-tooty, but. - I see you think it's funny and that's crazy. - Because I can just see the other kids' parents being like, that's inappropriate. - No, no, this is what I hear a lot. They're like, "Hey, we don't do potty talk." And I'm like, "Fair, that's fair, why are we?" Okay, with potty talk. - So I think that's so dumb. - I guess that's just not a battle that we wanted to pick. - Yeah, I think I like to have fun. - I don't know, I think it's fun to see your kids laugh and crack jokes with them. So I don't think it's a hell I'm gonna die on as our kids say. - No, you're like actually encouraging it, though, which is another step further. When you really think about it. - What would your thoughts be on having. This is from Droid Dog. They said, "What would your thoughts be on having twins?" I'm curious as I'm gonna twin myself. You know, that would be crazy, but I'm sure we would figure it out, you know? - Yeah, I feel like twins sound really fun when you're pregnant for the first time. (laughs) - And then any pregnancy after that, you're like, "What a blessing!" And you're like so scared. I feel like, I feel like twin parents probably hear the most naive comments. - Oh, yeah. - They're like, "Well, we had 'em close in age, so it's like we had twins." And they're like, "But you never had two newborns at the exact same age." You never had to nurse two babies at the exact age. Or it's like, "Well, that's so nice that you killed two birds with one stone. God, I'm out." It's like, "No, they literally were pregnant with two full babies at one time." Like that, just, I just have so much respect for them. That's all I have to say. - What's a parenting, this is from authentically angel. She said, "What's a parenting hack that used to work for you? That doesn't work anymore." - Everything. (laughs) The red light green light. - What do you mean? - Their hatch. - Oh, yeah, yeah, no, we used to, so like-- - We still try so hard. - We have their night light be red when they have to stay in the room and green when they can come out, but they just kind of don't really abide by that rule. They kind of just do their thing. - It's 'cause they don't go in their pull ups anymore. - Oh yeah, they like to go on the potty. - Yeah, what are we gonna say? Don't go to the bathroom. - That is a tricky thing. 'Cause our kids, they found a loophole in our whole system. 'Cause it's like, stay in your room to the light screen. And we have a program to like, you know, go off at a certain time. - 6.45, it's not that much to ask for. - I know, but then. - Every time it's just out. - We always catch them outside of the room. They're like, "Oh, I'm going potty." And they actually do go potty. - You can do every time they can always make some come out. - Yeah, they just, so I don't know. Half the time, I feel like they actually do need to go potty. The other half, I think they're just effing with us. And so, at this point, we just kind of are like-- - They're just effing with us. - All right, I guess we're like fine. I guess the lightness is-- - Go pee. Okay, whatever. It's good that you're learning to not pee and you're pull up and you're peeing in the potty. So yeah, rip that parenting hack. - It's like parenting hack. - Yeah, so that's where we're at people. So many exciting things coming up for us. Seriously, can't believe that we're coming up on 200 episodes of this podcast. - I'm so excited to see you hold a baby shirtless again. - Really? - So sweet. - You're into that? You think I'm-- - Yeah. - I look it with my shirt off. - With a baby. It's a perfect combination. - Really? Just baby with-- - Hold it, it's like, yeah. - I'm gonna say, yeah. - Okay. - It's really, I like it. - I'm also looking forward to seeing you shirtless with a baby as well. - Okay. - That's animal planet, that's not-- Oh, that is another rule! - Oh, wait, wait, we gotta talk about this. - You cannot touch me when I'm breastfeeding and I swear to get it if you try. - Why, what's happened before? - I hate it. I hate being touched when I'm breastfeeding. - What did I do? - So many important things. - Like what? I tell me, what did I do? - I just comment on, just don't even look at me when I'm breastfeeding. How about that? - Don't even look at you. - Maybe don't. - Why not? - Especially if I have a hawk on. - What am I supposed to look? - Oh, way. - At what? - Anything else. - Okay. - Don't touch me and don't look at me when I'm breastfeeding. - All right. - That's another thing we need to really lay out. - You brain from ever touching or looking at you, ever again. - When I'm breastfeeding. - When you're breastfeeding. - Thank you. - You're welcome. Everybody, thank you again for tuning in for another episode of on the plan. If you haven't left us a review or, like, subscribe to the podcast, we'd really appreciate that. Actually, a lot of people listen to this show, but aren't subscribed, and it's free to subscribe. So you can do that really easily. And it's also free to leave a review. It takes like five seconds. So let us know what you think you guys, and we'll see you next time. Bye.