It's baby time!

♪ Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly ♪ - Check engine, ABS, or maintenance light on? Take the guesswork out of your warning lights with O'Reilly VeriScan. The service is free and provides a report with solutions verified by ASE certified master technicians. And if you need help, we could recommend a shop for you. Ask for O'Reilly VeriScan today. ♪ Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly ♪ ♪ Auto Parts ♪ - Did you just get hit with a contraction? - What's wrong? - Feel it! - How do you feel? - It's hard as a rock. That's why I'm like, my uterus needs to take a break. She's susceptible to a rupture. Take it easy, girl. There's no touching the belly. - No touching. - The boobs. - I'm writing that down. No touching your butt. But if I'm touching your hips, though. - And that's the problem, is sometimes you're doing that to relieve pressure, your hands drift. It's not as about even a little bit. So excited to see you hold a baby shirtless. - I'm also looking forward to seeing you shirtless with a baby as well. - Okay. That's Animal Planet. - What's up, dudes? Welcome back to "Unplanned." You guys, we are officially on baby watch. Abby's full term, 37 weeks. Contractions are happening. - See, I just feel like the baby's not gonna come until. - Until what, 39, 40? - Yeah. - Really, at this point? Why do you feel that way? - I don't know. I think I have to feel that way, or else you lose the mental game, you know? - Oh, yeah? - How are you handling all of this so well? Like, you just threw a pool party. I come home from the gym, and there's like a herd of toddlers at our pool, and you're just hanging out. Like, how are you handling that? It's impressive. - I feel like I've been really grouchy recently. I don't think I'm handling it like the best. - You feel grouchy? - I feel grouchy. - Wait, why invite people over to our house? Was that just like a spur of the moment thing? - It just kind of happened. - Okay. - That doesn't make me more grouchy, I don't think. - Oh, okay. Did that make you happy to have people over? - Yeah, I hang out with them every day. So it's like, I can hang out with you at my house. I can hang out with you at a trampoline park. I can hang out with you. Like, I was already planning on hanging out with them. And I mean, our house was certainly a mess when they came over. But that's kind of like my motto with hosting. Just, it's better to have people over than to feel like you can't have people over unless it's perfect. - Yeah, I honestly don't know how you do it, though, because you're pregnant, growing a baby, you're running a mascara, you have a brand that just launched and sold out. You run, you're on two different podcasts. You have Instagram, TikTok, and a YouTube channel. - Stop. No, it's fine. - And is there something that I'm missing? - You got a lot of help. - Full-time mom. I don't know how you do it all, girl. - I got a lot of help. - You're impressive. - No, it's not like I'm doing it alone. We're doing it together. - We are doing it together. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. But I'm not growing a baby. - Yeah, no, you're not doing that. - Yeah, so I'm, you're awesome. - Thank you. - You're awesome. So when did the grouchiness start? When did you start feeling the grouchy? The grouch come out? - Maybe like 37 weeks. - What was it? Was there like a certain thing that was just like, ah. - I just think it's hormones. - Ah, okay. Okay. - I don't know. See, like right now I feel grouchy. - You do, you do. - Yeah. - Did I say something that pissed you off? - I don't know. It's like, it's not you. I know it's me, but it is you. - I made the mistake. What did I say? I said something about like, you know, you know, the baby could come anywhere from now or in the next three weeks. - No. - Yesterday. - In my head it was like. - How did I say it in your head? - Like you were like diminishing the way that I felt currently. - Oh gosh. - Because it's like, you still have three weeks. And I was like, shut the F up. Like, I don't know what, how did it come out? - That's the thing. Wording, words sometimes are hard for me. And I feel like if I'm not ultra clear in the communication and like the way that I'm saying it, then I'm like, okay. - Oh gosh. I don't. - Like it's one thing for me to be like, it could be three weeks from now. And then it's another thing for you to be like, buckle up girl. It could be three. - I did not say that. I didn't. No, no, no. - You didn't say it that way. - I did not say it that way. Maybe that's how you interpreted it. Maybe that's like, maybe that was a story that you're choosing to tell yourself. - Maybe. - Yeah. - Maybe. - That's good. I like that line. I like the story that I'm choosing to tell myself. - I think it's now, it's just like so much of my energy has gone towards having these contractions that aren't like real. - Mm-hmm. - That I'm like, I don't have the energy to like, I don't feel like I have the energy reserves to just be chipper and smiley and bubbly. - Do you feel at peace now that I have installed the baby's car seat in my car? - I am so glad you did that. That was bothering me. - It's there, it's all set up, fully installed. - That's crazy. - Is there anything else that's like lingering on your mind? - Well, I did realize yesterday we never registered at the hospital. - Is that, I guess that's when we have to do. - You do have to do that, yeah. - So let's do that then, I guess. - I did. - Oh, you did? It's done. - I think it should be done now. - Oh, thanks for doing that. - I think. I need to follow up and make sure that that's done. - Would they deny us if you're in labor and we show up? - I can't imagine they would deny you, but I think that you could probably, it would take you longer to maybe get in a room and stuff. - Yeah. - And I don't think that's something we really wanna do. It's just like hang out. - Yeah. - Not in a room there. - Let me just say, I chose the wrong day to install our child's car seat though. - There's not a right day in Arizona. - Goodness, Abby, like I, so you asked me to do it, but yesterday and I was like, then work got in the way. And so I ended up like having to push it off till today. But to be honest, part of the thing that was just like, I was dreading, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going, I'm gonna sweat so much installing this thing. And I did, it was 107. - Yeah, and you're not really a sweaty guy. - I'm not, yeah. - You know, I gotta give you props. You're not gross. - I'm not gross? - I think a lot of boys are kind of gross. - Really? - I don't think you're gross. - Why are so many boys gross? - Poor hygiene. - Okay. Smelly. - And like dirty. - Okay. - Like with their space and living stuff. - Ah, yeah. - You're not dirty and you're not gross. You have good hygiene. - I feel like I keep things pretty clean. - Maybe it's just 'cause I like your pheromones. - Oh yeah, you do like the smell of me. You'll like wear my shirts and stuff. There's like science to that, isn't there? - I don't know. It's like, I don't know, I think I learned that from like when a baby is like sad missing their mom. - Yeah. - That's weird. - You like my scent. Is there something in particular that I do that is like so tidy and not like messy or nasty? - You don't stink. - But I feel like sometimes the one thing that I get comments on those is you'll be like, "Your breath is rank." - Yeah, 'cause you think that if you drink coffee, you don't have to brush your teeth, which that is-- - That is not what I think. That is not what I think. - Matt, say it right now. - Say what right now? - I'm not pulling this out of nowhere. - What? - You are wrong! You say that if you don't, if you drink coffee, then you don't need to brush your teeth in the morning. - Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - You do say that. - First of all, first of all, I am 110% team brush your freaking teeth. That is like, I brush my teeth every day, okay? - Once a day. - But sometimes I don't do it in the mornings because I got in a really bad habit after going through the newborn stage, where it was like-- - This is not our baby's fault. - I didn't even know. Well, it's something that I could fix now, but then we're also about to have another newborn. So it's probably, I'm gonna fall right back into the bad habit. - No, you can still brush your teeth once a day. - But like, when you are so tired and then you're like waking up with your kid and then there's all this stuff to do, then it's like, oh my gosh, it's noon. I haven't even brushed my teeth. And so usually what I do is I would wait until like, I've, you know, gone to the gym hopefully and worked out and then I'll brush my teeth at like noon. 'Cause then it's like, I get it all done when I'm like showering. 'Cause I don't shower before the gym. That'd be weird to shower like before and after, if that makes sense. - Basically you're making a lot of excuses, but-- - Yeah, you tell me that if you drink coffee, then your breath doesn't stink. - I think I have coffee breath. - But you're also putting milk in your coffee. - I think you get coffee breath if you drink coffee. - But there's milk in it, it's a latte. - That's true. - So that makes it really stinky. - Okay, well, I'm sorry. - It's okay. - That's something that I, that's an area of improvement I could focus on. - That's the one thing that you're kind of gross about. - Okay. Anyway, nesting, we have a bassinet all set up. We've got the baby monitor set up. We've got a bottle wash station set up. We've got all these things, and oh, I went into our shed, pulled out all the baby clothes, threw those in the wash, used the non-scented laundry detergent, because apparently babies don't like scented stuff, and-- - Well, it's just, it can irritate their skin. - That's right, and you know, so we're doing all the things, and everything's good to go. - Yeah, it's pretty, it's as good as it's gonna be. We don't have a nursery. - Yeah, I get, you know, that's the thing. I think we did a nursery for Griffin, our first born. - We haven't done one since. - And since then, you know, you're-- - 'Cause our babies stay in our room for a really long time. - Yeah, yeah, and also, if you make a really cute nursery, my opinion is if you're gonna go all out on your kid's room, I feel like the age to do it would be like, maybe when they're five or six, because then-- - That's actually a good point. - I think like five or six, you do it, and then maybe when they go into middle school, you redo their room again, and then high school, you do it again. 'Cause like, then that's like three different stages, but if you're going, if you're sending it on the nursery, then you have to redo all of that, in like a year, because it's really not gonna be the right theme for a toddler, you know? - Mm-hmm. - You're not gonna want all the rainbow, like your toddler's gonna wanna have like, Darth Vader and sports and stuff. Like if Augie had like, rainbows in his room, he'd be like-- - Well, it could just start now with a Darth Vader nursery. - That's true. How funny would that be? - They would love that. - If it's like a Darth Vader shaped crib, it's like the baby sleeps inside. - It's like a Millennium Falcon. - Yes, how sick would that be? - Death Star. - I will tell you, I've thought about this, Like I see some of these dad DIYers and I'm not a handyman by any means, but I think it'd be fun to like make, to do something epic in one of our kids' rooms, you know, kind of like how I build a half pipe in our backyard. It would be cool to just like send it on our kids' room. Well, Griffin and Augie think that this baby's moving into their room once he's done staying in our room. I mean, he really could. He could. I don't know if they'd all sleep all together though. That feels crazy. That feels absolutely crazy. But they're already getting, I feel like, I feel like they're going to adjust really well because they already talk all the time. Like they got a couple of toys for the baby and they were like yelling at their friends, which isn't nice, but they're like, don't touch that. That's for baby. Like they like are already getting like protective of his stuff. They're already like talking about like what's his and how it's going to work. It was really sweet how you had the boys pick out toys for their baby brother, but they kind of. They just ended up picking out toys that they wanted. We made them pick out baby toys though. Yeah. But they, they ended up like we got home and they started playing with the baby toys they picked out. Yeah. Yeah. And fight and fighting over the baby toy they picked out for their brother. So that's just, that's just called having kids, you know, almost three and a four year old. Exactly. Um, okay. So what are you noticing? Like now that you're feeling you're in this stage of pregnancy, you're ready for this baby to get out. What, what are you noticing? Is helping with the grouchiness? Like what helps you feel better in your day? Nothing. Here's my question. How the heck are you still working out? Actually, I think I like being alone a little bit more now. You like being alone. But I actually feel like I feel that way, but then I also like feel really attached to you. Like I don't, and I think that's actually maybe normal. Like towards the end, I'm like, I just am really scared of like you not being around me. Like I want you to, you're like my comfort person, even though I'm not like pleasant. Like I'm like, you still. gotta be here so that's a tough place for you to be in because I'm like I'm gonna be grouchy but I need you right next to me got it you gotta suffer through me I mean I feel like I haven't been that bad though do you think no I was telling you this like you've been so nice to me this pregnancy I feel like you're just honestly you're I think you're you've been the best version of yourself that I've ever gotten to know I gotta get back to that I think the past three days since I've been 37 weeks I just got grouchy and I just gotta suck it up well it's probably really hard to feel all that movement in your in your stomach and also uh it's the exhaustion so like I've been having probably what you would call prodromal labor which is like where I've never even heard of that what is that yeah it's like where you're having contractions they're like not real okay but they're intense enough that I like it's hard to get comfortable and it's hard to sleep yeah what does prodromal mean I don't know what does prodromal mean fake where did you learn that it means fake I know what a Braxton Hick is but I've never heard it's what it is oh okay it's another way of it's the same thing it's just consistent like long drawn out Braxton Hicks okay okay that like make it so I couldn't sleep so I've been up a lot of nights just like with like that tightening I wouldn't say it hurts I would honestly have been like glad if they hurt because then I was like oh then that's it I would honestly have been like glad if they hurt because then I was like oh then that's it I would honestly have been like glad if they hurt because then I was like oh then that's that means that it's progressing somewhere yeah but it was just intense yeah but it wasn't hurting so then I was just like well this is just a really weird place to be in because I'm just can't sleep but it's not like go time yeah so then I was like up I was up for the day at essentially 1 30 a.m yeah the other day you got hit with pregnancy insomnia which is insomnia is horrible like people that deal with insomnia I dealt with that for a brief moment like a year ago oh gosh like so that sucks I so what did you what did you do you're already so tired yeah from being pregnant but then you're also extra tired because I've been having like these contractions and then you can't sleep so it's just a little bit crazy and I feel like your risk of I mean I feel like probably your chance of experiencing prodromal labor has to go up with each pregnancy because I just feel like my body's like oh my god I'm gonna have to oh we know what to do but it's like but wait it's not the time so don't start sounding the alarms yet it's not the worst thing ever but it certainly is not not fun yeah I just can't believe it'll wear you out I can't believe you're dilated to three and a half centimeters right now I mean what it's it is like what's the point at the last pregnancy appointment the doctor literally could feel the baby when when she you know did did the check the cervical check or yeah I don't know feels like we could just hang out here for a while though you know yeah I didn't realize well in the past last two pregnancies you you never really got to that that far we just never checked with a scheduled c-section but I was having like those Braxton Hicks you were okay so I don't know really what that case was you know it's hard to know yeah but um yeah so I mean really what they say is baby could come now maybe come on his due date and we know that like the baby's not going to go past his due date we'll all be induced on that day if he's not here before then but yeah we'll see I'm so curious but also I'm like I do know that he's going to come at the right time and that'll be that but right now we're just in a weird limbo where it's just like we're making plans we're still doing stuff all the time but it's like okay are we going to actually do that though like is our life going to be completely different at that point yeah because I know that like once once you go into the hospital and like you have that baby like it feels like the that version of yourself that made those plans is a totally different person and so it's like I'm so I'm so anticipating like that big shift happening but it's like but when is it gonna happen yeah it's exciting and I feel like we're in a good place because it's like we did nest we have like everything like pretty much ready like which is great because I feel like for the longest time we had nothing really done I mean we don't have a nursery which is we'll be fine yeah but yeah support for today's episode comes from square the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites whether you're gearing up for a busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand square keeps your business running smoothly from payments and pos to online orders inventory staff and more all in one place so you can focus on your customers not your 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square and build a setup that works the way you do so you're you're pumping now you're actively pumping pump yesterday for the first time okay have you did you pump today if you've done it twice literally only one time no I actually was reminded of how much I really don't like pumping is it is it the contractions that start to happen it's just like you're you're experiencing it but you don't have your baby yeah yeah the contractions aren't fun either but yeah I'm like me well hopefully I don't have to pump a ton this pregnancy or what hopefully I don't have to pump a ton with this baby yeah but um yeah I was pumping got some colostrum so this is the first time we're saving it I guess I guess we'll save it because um I feel like with little babies sometimes there takes a minute for your milk to come in and you're like oh my god I'm gonna have to pump a ton of this and sometimes their blood sugar can drop and I feel like they've always been really pushy in the hospital with both times like with wanting to give them formula and I'm like I'd rather you just gave them this colostrum like instead so maybe we'll have to find a way to bring that to the hospital or yeah how would we bring that and then I guess we'll just have to put it in the little syringes that Addie brought and then freeze it and then as soon as we get there put it in their freezer okay so okay that's a good idea I guess we'll just have to put it in the little syringes that that's an extra step so we can bring it hopefully we can make that happen we can bring it frozen and then let it like thaw out I mean it'll be in tiny syringes so I feel like you'd barely have to leave it out and it would thaw oh and then they can just put it in like you just put squeeze a little syringe in their mouth syringes like we'd like feed our baby with a syringe I mean it's one of those things you only do like literally the first like three days of their life ah okay and then they start eating gosh you forget isn't it so weird like you forget yeah like all the way like he's gonna have like a little baby and then he's gonna have like a little baby and then he's gonna have like a little umbilical cord sticking out of his belly it's gonna be weird like the all the onesies are so tiny that we went through um getting all the clothes folded and put in put do you think it's just gonna snap back into place I think I think we'll quickly get there I think we will okay like did you think that we would have I would have more confidence at this point yeah yeah I kind of thought I would have more confidence but I don't know I think I think we'll get it like I think we'll we'll figure it out we have we don't really have an option unfortunately I think our most confidence we had was before we had babies And then now that we have babies, I feel like we just keep losing confidence. You just have no idea. Yeah, because you're just like, man, so much of this is like actually out of my hands. And I think that's a better place to be because it's like you then you just take the you roll with the punches more because you're like this was, you know, this was going to happen either way. I don't have control over this. 100%. But then it is just like now we're at this place. We're like, wow, we're at crossroads. We're about we're about to cross into a whole different life. Yeah. Because like our family that we've like known it will be totally different forever after this point. And it's just kind of like, wow. That's and that's a big thing. And that's why I was starting to get more emotional, too, about like our kids, like our two boys. Like it's going to be sad, like in a way, like we're we want this baby so bad and we have for so long and we're so excited. But then also there's just like a certain sadness for like our family unit as it was. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I mean, that season of life is is basically over. I mean, I know that I know what how it's going to be like once we have this baby, then it'll be like we kind of even almost like forgot about that version of our family. Mm hmm. Yeah. It's hard to remember a version of our two boys before they could talk. I like it. It's like I forgot. I'm saying I've forgotten that they were ever newborns. Maybe maybe my brain just like made me forget about that. Stage because it was so just forget it. So, yeah. Yeah, I guess like your brain only has so much capacity for memory, right? My brain has no capacity. We've both lived so much life already. I was actually this is so this is so morbid. I was like laying in bed last night and I was like, OK, if I quadrupled my age, that would that would mean that I would be one hundred and twelve. Like if like if I've definitely lived. This is this is what I'm talking about. Like, why do you have to keep doing giving me a crisis like at random times? This is the worst time for a crisis. It's weird, though, to think about like how much of the percentage of our life we've lived. See, that's not the time. Not the time. Not the time. OK. But we have I think we have I mean, we have a lot of life left to live. I'm just saying we've lived a lot of life already. There's there's a lot more. Hopefully, I mean, you know, but but, you know, we just I guess our brains only have so much memory capacity before you have to kind of. Throw some memories away. It's like I was just talking about with Adley. It's inside out. You know, the scene in Inside Out where like I get rid of it and they take the memory and they go and they like get rid of all those memories when joy and sadness are walking through the the stream of memories, the library of memories ever. Speaking of speaking of movies, I feel like we've entered that stage with you being so pregnant and having so much going on. We're kind of like in that spot where it's just like sometimes we got to just turn on a movie for the kids so we can go set. Things up, go get a bassinet set up, go go get different things prepped for our house. You know, it's it's kind of like I think when you first become a parent, you think like I'm I'm not doing screen time like we're not we're not ever doing that. And then you kind of hit a point where you're like, I think I need a little bit of screen time here and there to help me actually get life done. I wonder what people like people 100 years ago. I guess they just kind of like let their kids get hurt a lot more. Like I feel like if if. If your kid is just like playing in the backyard while you're trying to, you know, nest and set up baby stuff. Right. Like if you're. Well, they probably didn't do as nearly as much prep as we do nowadays. That's true. And people but people used to have like seven kids. I do think kids just like started to tag along with the parents more like. But that is one of those things where it's like it just takes a lot longer if they're like in our space and we're trying to do those things. OK, let's jump to talking about the recent pregnancy. The appointment we had, this is the final ultrasound. Yes. Of this pregnancy. What big news did we learn? Well, I feel like the last scan you have for a lot of big reasons, a lot of them is like to estimate the baby's size, which was going to be a big factor in finalizing our birth plan. Yeah. You want to make sure the baby's in a good position for for birth, your placenta is in a good position, like all those things and everything really looks good. He's head down. He's he's like pretty much fully posterior. We had that problem with our first like going sunny side up is what they call it. And it's just not a favorable position to like deliver a baby in. Obviously, he can still flip. I don't think he'll flip not head down, but he could flip face up again. Still, they kind of tell you also like if you're dilated, your effacement, which is like your thick thickness of your cervix and your station that the baby's in. He's in like in your pelvis. And we also found out that our doctor is going to be out of town. We knew she was going to be out of town for a period of time. Yeah. Just from when you're just the week, the 38. She's only out of town when you're 38 weeks. Yeah. So the baby comes before then we're good after then we're good. But yeah, in that time zone, in that timeline, when she's gone, what what are you thinking about that? It would be OK. I'm I keep saying I'm like trauma bonded to this doctor because. She delivered our daughter and I just like had this like vision of just like this redemptive birth with her because she was amazing. And I feel like a lot of people that have gone through situations like this, like where you've gone through a loss with a doctor, have like polarizing experiences where it's like I never want to see you again. I'm associating you with this horrible time or it's like I really just want like I feel like you were like pivotal in such a way. I mean, I don't want to be in such a dark time. Like, I want to now have like a redemptive experience with her. Like, I trust her so much through going through that experience. So it's like I really would love for her to be the one delivering our baby. But I'm also like, it's just out of our hands. Like, if the baby decides to come then, which it's like he very likely could come when she's back or even even potentially before she leaves. It's not a huge deal. But the rest of our are like OB team. Is fully on board with like RV back, given every other detail that we've given them, the baby still measuring like right at 56 percentile. So that's great. So yesterday he was six pounds and 15 ounces, which is very normal. So he'll probably be our doctors like we're expecting like seven, seven and a half pounds. She said eight at the most. I was like, no, let's say seven. Yeah, I wasn't expecting for her to say that her baby was just shy of seven pounds. Really? That was pretty shocking to me. I thought the baby. He's going to weigh like five pounds and something ounces. You thought we were going to have a five pound baby. I don't know. Like, I thought since we still have potentially like two, you know, two, three weeks, like I thought, oh, we're yeah, we're at like five. Because I thought they grow by like, again, it's been so long, but I thought it was going to be like a, you know, two pound growth in the last two weeks. I'm gaining like two pounds every week. No, you're not. No, you're not. But no, I don't think she's like, I'm not expecting like, I don't know. I think he's just going to be perfectly average and that will be great. And he feels a lot smaller than our other babies like in my belly like he does. And the fluid looks good. The thing that was a little weird is that my blood pressure was high and that's never been the case. And I know that's something they take really, really seriously at the end of pregnancy. Like your blood pressure is like something that is like they will take a baby out really quick if they think your blood pressure is high because it's related to preeclampsia, which is pretty serious, which I've never had. But it was high when she took it. And then they're like, OK, well, we need to check again before you leave. And then we left. We didn't even check again. Like no one remembered. And so then I called back to the clinic and I like talked to my doctor and she was like, well, if you have a cuff at home, just take your blood pressure. And if it's normal, it's then we're fine. We'll see what your next appointment. If it's high, then you need to come back in and also do some blood work. And we just did it with our at home cuff and it was normal. And I don't have any other like major symptoms of like I think the symptoms are like a really bad headache, vision changes, things like that. And I didn't have those. So hopefully everything's fine with that. That's the thing that really could change our birth plan, I guess, is if it for some reason ends up getting high. But that was weird. Maybe she just took it really. She did take it really fast, but it's never been high before. So that was weird. And it wasn't like a little bit high. It was like really high. How did it feel? How did it feel to have the membrane sweep yesterday? You know, they've never like I feel like if they're going to work, they're probably more painful. Yeah, because you didn't really react to it. I thought you were going to be in a lot of pain. So I came up next to you to hold your hand and you didn't even like really flinch. I mean, I've done it before and I just knew what to expect. Because I've heard a lot of women have severe pain when that happens. I think it probably just depends on like your baby's position. Yeah. Like he's still kind of. He's still kind of high. He was at a negative two station. So maybe that made it less painful. I mean, I don't know. Also, I feel like I'm having a contraction right now. Like literally right now. I mean, they're not real. OK. But yeah, I feel like they can. It's like they're going to hurt really bad if it's going to send you into labor or they like don't hurt that bad if it's not the real thing. Or maybe it's because it was already dilated to like a three and a half that it didn't hurt. I don't know. - I don't know. - Yeah. really do much it's already open i'm yeah i'm still shocked i i'm just amazed at the human body and the fact that like the the fact that she could actually feel our baby and just how casually she was like all right membrane sweeps done i can i can feel your baby you're at three and a half centimeters dilated like wow okay first of all how do they know three and a half that still amazes They're just like, they just know off of feel. I know. That does amaze me. How do you know a measurement just based off of with your hand? They're amazing. I don't know. There's no device that they use. One of my friends is a labor and delivery nurse. I'm like, how do you know? She's like, you just do it a lot. You just do it a lot. But then, like, what's your baseline? Do they have, like, do they practice membrane sweep? They stretch like that. But, like, how, see, if, like, I'm going in dark and I'm, like, feeling around my finger, like, I would have no idea, like, am I at five centimeters? Am I at two centimeters? Like, I guess they just practice a lot on a doll. I don't know. They probably have, like. Is there a membrane sweep doll in their training program? Not sweep, but, like, to check dilation, I'm sure they have some type of model. Like a mannequin? Yeah. It's like, all right, class, take out your notebooks. We're going to be doing membrane sweeps. Who's up first? Like, is it like that? Yeah, because it is only a centimeter. Like, that is so impressive. I'm still four. I've seen those mannequins. Where they're, like, delivering babies. I would have thought there would be some sort of, like, AI measurement tool that then you have to, like, put on your fingers and then it has, like, a magnet so then it can, like, tell the distance between your fingers or something. Like, the fact that they just. Matt, babies have been born since the beginning of time. Obviously. Yeah, of course. But, like, we live in a world where there's driverless vehicles now. So I thought that there might be some more advanced technology for the measurement. There doesn't need to be. There's not. It's good enough. Apparently, there's not. It's good enough as it is. Maybe there is and everyone's just still using their fingers and saying, oh, three and a half. All right, we're good. You know. Yeah. Also, none of that stuff. I don't know what this says about me or my body. None of that stuff has ever bothered me that much. Like, people are like, I don't want to get a cervical check because it hurts. Like, that has never bothered me. I don't know if it's the location of my cervix. I don't know if it's. I literally don't. I can't tell you what it is. It's just never really bothered me. Yeah. Getting a membrane sweep has never really bothered me either. So, I don't know. Like, it doesn't feel good. I do think you have a higher pain tolerance than other people, though. I don't understand that, but I'm like, based off of what? I think you do. I've seen you do some crazy stuff. Anyway. It's impressive. So, yeah. I got the membrane sweep and then just felt like, you know, the typical crampy, the typical. And then my contractions are basically only at night. Yeah. So, that's great. Yeah. And also. Uh, you know, we had what could have been our last date night since, uh, before we have this baby. And, uh, we went to Dentai Fung, which was really good, actually. I thought I was not going to like it, but I did like it. You were saying it wasn't going to be good. I was like, it was so good. Matt didn't like that you have at Dentai Fung the, um, you, like, order on a card. I don't like that. Why? I think that's fine. I like to just tell the person what I want. Well, I think the reason it is that way is because it's family style. Yeah. It confuses me, though. I'm like, I feel like I'm doing homework, like, marking down answers on the piece of paper. You don't like family style. Yeah. Has anybody been to a restaurant like that where you order on a piece of paper? You know, it's, I think a lot of certain Asian restaurants have that. Yeah. Like, sushi rolls. Like, we've been to, like, a sushi place where they shoot. You know, that's kind of what Dentai Fung is. The sushi comes out. It's elevated Asian takeout. Are you serious? That's what it is? What do you think? I'm just saying that. I don't know. Because we went to that place. Is it called, like, a subway thing where they, like, drink? That was horrible. What's it called where they bring the rolls out on a conveyor belt? Yeah, the conveyor belt. Awful. No, but I thought it was fun. I liked that. It was a really fun concept. And it would have been amazing if it was actually good sushi. It was disgusting sushi. Well, Dentai Fung was really good. That was called Listeria Sushi. I thought the food was going to be bad because I ate your leftovers when you went to Dentai Fung. You ate it cold the next day. That's not fair. And I didn't use any of the fixings. Chili oil, the ginger, the soy sauce, the vinegar. None of that. I didn't use any of that. Messed up. You need all the fixings. So this time, I really covered everything in the good stuff. And boy, was I impressed. So good. I want it back now. Especially the mango shave ice. Whew. That was good. That was so good. Yeah. Really good dessert. I ate those spicy noodles. You know, they say spicy stuff can put you into labor. It didn't do it. Didn't do it. Didn't do it. But maybe your body's just not ready. It's just not ready yet. It's just not ready. Yeah. It's just practicing a lot, which is really great for me. It's just practicing. I know. I actually don't like that it's doing that because, you know, the risk of a VBAC is uterine rupture. And I'm like, my uterus, I need my uterus to rest. Yeah. Rest. 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What are you doing to battle this Arizona heat that we're having right now? It's been so hot. It's been making me so grouchy. Awful. It's it's it's like looking at my phone today while I was outside. I was like, why am I so hot? I'm like, oh, it's one hundred and seven. That's why I'm hot. That's why I'm sweating through my shirt. It's cruel. Yeah, it's unusual. What what are you doing to get away? Get over that. Just I get really grouchy. It's so hot, especially with kids, too, because, you know, you don't want to put your kid into a hot car. It is really scary. Yeah. So the cars get so hot are like our car will say what the internal temperature is. I don't know how accurate it is, but usually it's like one sixty three. I keep telling myself, you can literally this is an oven. I've really wanted to like either fry eggs or bake cookies inside our car because I've heard that people have done that. And I know that we could. But see, think about it. What? Inside our car, not inside. That would work. Oh, yeah. Like on the dash. Like if I look at our Tesla. It says one sixty. If I don't have. Cookies are baked at. If I don't have temperature control on inside the Tesla, it'll get like to one sixty degrees. I just said that. Yeah, I know. But that's like that's still really hot. Not enough to bake a cookie. I think it I think it could technically bake it. Not like, well, it's not going to be perfectly done. Do you know what temperature ovens are when you bake a cookie? Like three fifty. OK. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not an idiot. I need a cookie right now. OK, babe, we've got a dog now. How do you think we're going to introduce this dog to our baby? I mean, I already told certain friends that are like dog people. I'm like, when you come over postpartum, just like make sure you show pretzel extra love and like play with her. Yeah. Because obviously she's probably going to feel like a little less attention. But I'm also really glad that we have her for our. Toddlers, like they're going to have a lot of fun still with her. They play with her all the time. I like how they've incorporated her into their play. Especially today. They're playing a game with her and they're like, no pretzel. That's not how we play it. Like, I think that she knows what was the game. It was what he was stacking water bottles and she kept knocking them down. It was just dumb. I think it's funny that oftentimes I'll be a monster and chase them. And then sometimes pretzel will get to be the monster. Yeah. But I don't know. I don't think pretzel really knows that she's the monster, but she is. She's. Um, so that that's hilarious. I think we'll probably just like when, I mean, a lot of our, we have nieces and nephews. and then also a lot of friends with babies that come over to our house yeah like we sometimes just like let her get a sniff in and then we have to really pull her back because she's a puppy still she's very eager and excited the tricky thing is teaching her how to appropriately swim in a pool because she's such a great swimmer she loves the water but when our kids are in the water she's she's like scrap she's scratched me before when she's swimming she's doggy paddling and and so like i've told i've told them to like you know keep keep your distance from pretzel don't don't like don't don't get in her line of fire solo swimmer but yeah it's tricky to to navigate the whole swimming with a dog thing because she just kind of scratches you you know good thing we're not putting our baby in the pool for a while yeah the yeah baby's not going in the pool actually you know what what he probably could because it's so warm like you're right but there's a lot of chemicals for their little skin for a little bit we'll have to just look what's recommended but it's the you're right but there's a lot of chemicals for their little skin for a little bit we'll have to just look what's recommended but it's the temperature for a baby right now right away but yeah i mean the water that water is probably about the same temperature as my womb yeah it's warm it's it's warm water for sure did you hear actually at our appointment the lady when she was measuring our amniotic fluid she was like they only need like two centimeters to breathe to breathe through that i mean obviously they're getting oxygen also from the umbilical cord but i was like that is crazy there doesn't need to be much fluid like i got a lot fluffier not fluffier but like more swollen okay with my first pregnancy than my second and then this one i feel like i'm like less i'm definitely still swollen but not like i was the previous one so i feel like your body just adjusts like gets used to pregnancy more i was watching a video from our first you know first time around you were pregnant with griffin you looked like you were pregnant with griffin and i was like i'm not pregnant with griffin you looked completely different i mean i'm definitely feeling like in these last few weeks like definitely more so which i don't care but it is crazy though how every single pregnancy is different every single pregnancy is different yeah every single baby's different yeah it's gonna be so interesting to see how like his little personality type like in my head i feel like i already know him obviously i'm like he's really chill and he's really funny yeah those are like the two things that i'm like locked in on like he's a chill and funny dude um but that was actually funny his all of his measurements are very consistent with like 56 percentile i think his head was a little smaller but they also said it's kind of hard for them to measure the head when he's already like kind of engaged on there but they did say he has a big belly and i was like his belly is like 90th percentile like that's amazing he's getting a lot of nutrients in there that's the other thing i can't be bothered to cook anymore i don't want to do it i know we've been getting some good takeout and getting salad and go that's a local spot in arizona once you've just been getting salad i go to salad and go a lot where have you been getting your food uh i've been eating a lot of leftovers but i've been making you grill like every night oh yeah i mean grilling is easy though we got shake shack one night shake shack is so good we're mooching off of our friends because like we have a birthday party like every evening so i'm like we'll eat whatever they have at the birthday party that'll be fun we're scavengers our fridge is empty okay no milk abby nothing i like i just had a a realization moment today i i i seriously feel like a month ago i was saying out loud to our family wouldn't it be so cool when uh our our kids uh cj and and august are like grown up and can play together like this is before they're even alive this is while they're in the womb like i just remember verbally saying this and saying to my parents wow this can be crazy that caleb's gonna have a kid and i'm gonna have a kid that are just like basically the same age and now they're best buddies and now here we are we're their best buddies and and they're both turning three like it just the all the cliches all the wow they grow up so fast like that's so true and i'm finding myself saying all the same stuff my parents said when i was a kid you know okay when you're a kid and you go to a party like some with with family or even even friends and you haven't seen people in a year every single time what did people say to you as a kid did you get hit with a contraction it's actually really strong wait was it a kick no it's a contraction a contraction what how and it's just it's just your uterus i'm so over this how would you describe it feel it let me feel whoa holy cow he's just abby do you please tell me you actually feel that i can feel it this is why i'm so tired i'm so and this is what's hitting you at 1 a.m when you're trying to sleep no wonder you have to take unisum to knock yourself out i'm just glad that's pregnant pregnancy safe the unisum there'd be no way for you to sleep with this it still wakes me up is it still going on this has been a longer one how long does it last how many seconds is that going on still going on i feel like this is a long one normally they're really short goodness and are you just feeling it is it just pushing is it just pushing baby down like do you just feel the baby going i don't i don't sometimes it feels downward but more than anything it just feels like it's just like closing it on itself that's why i'm like my uterus needs to take a break because she's susceptible to a rupture so i'm like take it easy girl this isn't real it's like literally it keeps sounding these alarms like it's like it's time to go oh and then people keep saying now you're not gonna know when it's time it's like no i'll know because then they'll be consistent and they'll hurt and they'll be like a steady amount apart you know are you nervous for the v-back um i think i'll be nervous once we like go to the hall like it's actually go time yeah i think right now i'm just kind of like i always say that's the blessing of the end of pregnancy you're so uncomfortable that like labor sounds delightful yeah that it sounds like a better option than continuing as you are you know have you changed your mind on the epidural at all what was my mind i feel like you were team get the epidural yeah i'm still taking it and for a little bit you were like maybe i don't want to i think i'll probably still wait until the goal is to get it when i'm like six or seven centimeters dilated i did find it hilarious our doula was like which you know i respect this this thought process of like it's natural to not have the epidural and just go in natural like i respect that but i did find it funny when our when our own doula was like i will say though i got the epidural it was pretty freaking awesome and i'm like all right like that i saw someone today they're like i this is like when people ask about my birth plan this is what this is what i tell them and it's like you know that game the sims i never played that but it's like this was my plan it's like she's like it's like this video game character we have to put this on the screen because i'm not gonna describe it well she's like pregnant and then she like turns around and then she's like skinny and holding a baby and it was like i was like yeah that's my plan i just want to she's like this was what it sounds like your birth plan is i'm like yeah i just want to have fun i want the baby to come yeah i want it to be redemptive and i want to have fun so let's just let's just let it be that way i don't know i think i'm just like whatever will be will be case of ross raw right what does that mean case it means whatever will be will be the future is not ours to see that that's the definition of that please tell me you know the song but how do you sing the case whatever will be is this from musical you're kidding me you don't song how do you know the song from you i've been singing this before i've heard you sing it i've heard you sing it or i've heard you say it i don't know if i've heard you sing it but i don't know it's what it's from it's just a famous song the man who knew the man who knew too much it's have you seen the movie no it's just a famous song did your grandpa teach you this no grandma heard you how did you learn this i think my mom did you want to bring her in here this episode's gone off the rails i don't want to do this i don't want to work yeah okay by the way let me out of here if you guys didn't know abby will be taking a maternity leave she'll be taking some time off from the podcast her friends will be joining her podcast we've already filmed enough unplanned so then yeah we've had some super cool guests on the show so very excited for you guys to get to see who those special guests are um but in case someone's like oh my gosh how am i gonna get through wednesday without you guys you still can we'll just have some cool guest episodes we need to practice right here on the podcast what are you gonna say when i'm in labor but i don't have the epidural or if the epidural doesn't work like it should like it did the first time um i'm gonna say your body knows exactly what it needs to do yes that's a good one i'm gonna say that um you're with each contraction you're one step closer to meeting our baby that's a good one and i'm gonna say you're a badass i'm gonna say you're that's that's great i want to hear that i'm gonna say go go go go and then i'll play like rap music okay rap music i like to listen to like i like to listen to throwback worship music yeah that like is like chanty yeah like uh give me an example you call me out before the water no that's too slow that's too slow no i need i need one that's like my god's not dead he raised from heaven yeah that's the kind of thing i need so start playing that that helped me a lot actually that's what i was listening just put it in my headphones and just let me be like throwback christian yeah that's what you like not just throwback christian throwback worship and then um also i just want you to just say good job yeah i really feel like that's something that really resonates with me like say it right now good job no say no no say like you're doing a good job you're doing a good job no but say like you mean it you know what i do this is good that we're practicing this because i don't want to do this when i'm in a yes okay so let's let's review i'm gonna be saying i'm gonna say hey babe with every contraction you're one step closer to meeting our baby not you're no it's got to have more of like a breathy like you practice you pretend that you're me right now oh my uterus ah see i'm not gonna be talking okay and then i'm gonna be like okay that hey you're doing you're doing a really good job good job you're so strong i'm proud of you that's what i want to hear i want to be like good job like a coach okay i'm writing this down right now so we've got like when i'm done with a contraction i want to hear good job like a football coach things to say to abby while she's giving birth you can even throw in there like a good job good job uh i was gonna say buddy but that just doesn't feel right okay okay wait yeah why buddy why would you want that i feel like if you were to say breathe that would really piss me off for some reason why would me saying breathe piss you off because i'm like well duh i have to breathe okay so don't say anything stupid don't say like don't say anything that's just like obvious yeah but then like why is saying good job like why is that so obvious though like you're doing such a good job saying you're doing such a good job that would make you feel really good such a good job yeah and also just so you know all this is susceptible to change change you could completely decide in the moment like shut up maybe i want silence i don't want to hear any of that i actually did that's how i feel about touching like touching is sometimes good but i don't want to hear any of that i don't want to hear any of that i don't want to hear any of that i don't want to hear any of that i don't want to hear any of that i don't want to hear any of that i don't want to hear any of that i don't want full body support no matter how you sleep just take the lisa sleep quiz and you'll find your perfect match in two minutes or less something else i really appreciate about lisa is that the experience is super user-friendly it arrived right at their doorstep there's literally no setup you just open it up the mattress grows and it's so perfectly comfortable ready to go not a huge hassle like some deliveries can be go to lisa.com for 25 off select mattresses plus get an extra 50 off with promo code unplanned exclusive for our listeners that's l-e-e-s-a.com promo code unplanned for 25 off select mattresses plus an extra 50 off and when you use our code you're supporting our show lisa.com promo code unplanned it is funny though how like what for one for one person could be really encouraging words for another person could be like i know a lot of women like rap music and like during when they're in labor i didn't want that it's not you at all like what about what about like uh like justin bieber i don't think that's me yeah no not me also this was when it was like getting intense or or i could pretend and then i wanted hypno birthing in my ears yeah because then you listen to the hypno birther and she's like with every breath you're one see it's crazy that you're saying that because in my head she wasn't talking what she was like i was legitimately hypnotized mama just breathe and know that with every contraction you're one step closer to meeting your baby see like that right there is doing something right now my body you speak these words let them overwhelm your body see right now you're actually transporting me your body knows exactly what that's what i'm saying i think that's good it's such a calming voice put that on too would that piss you off if i try to do that i don't need you doing that okay that's for her we'll put on the hypno birth so we have three skills right now that you know okay and then here's what i want you to do as far as physical touch i want you to do that magical thing that the doula taught you okay with my hips yes yes the squeeze yes right relieve the pressure but also when it's like not that intense but it's like early labor i just want you to put my hair that feels so good okay and then yeah that's probably it maybe in between contractions give me a drink of water some ice we already lost the freaking birth combs that the lady gave us so she said she was going to bring some to the hospital with us dang it how did we lose those honestly i blame our kids i don't think we lost them i think they played with them and put them somewhere that we can't find they do look fun or it was pretzel maybe pretzel ate the birth comb probably pretzel ate your shoe today yeah our kids can do no wrong that dog can do that dog has ruined you know what i saw i didn't tell you this i've caught our dog chewing up our rug again last night after i after i took a shower on the freaking dining table like a billy goat did you know that twice two times she was on our standing there just like was she eating food off the table there was no food on the table she was on the dining table yeah why she's a billy goat was there a toy up there was there something that she's anything but a dog she's a goat she's an otter she's a billy goat she's an otter she's a hound she's a hound yeah um that is hilarious wait so do you feel prepared now for labor like do you feel like you know what i need do you know what i want i think i do um all i have on my ever touch my belly don't touch your belly okay wait why not because i don't even like it when you just like felt that contraction your hand lingered for too long because my skin is stretched so tight that it's just like you might actually rupture it goodness okay i've got that written down you're not actually gonna do that but i i'll do whatever you ever touch my belly i'll do whatever you want me to do here's the thing i actually feel like i do need to say this yes and this might need to get cut but i just need you to know this while it's on my mind okay i know that when i'm in that gown i'm not gonna have a bra on or underwear on and i know that you're gonna know that and i know that you can absolutely oh my gosh abby you really think i'm i think you might i think you might be getting handsy while you're giving birth i don't trust you with my you think i am i don't trust you with your and here's the thing that actually made me so mad that i think about a lot at the hospital they didn't let me wear a sports bra and i wanted to because i didn't want to wear a sports bra and i wanted to because i didn't want to wear a sports because i knew that they were gonna leak okay because whenever my boobs are free they just decide to just like i don't know release something especially in labor okay and they're like no you can't they told me that i couldn't wear a bra crazy and i was like please and so then when griffin's born and all those pictures my boobs are just like wet circles and i just felt i don't like that stimulation i don't like that touch of my nipple on the gown and i had it and so i just need to know that yeah i yeah of course there's no touching the belly no touchy the boobs only certainly you're not gonna want to touch down there only the hips only the hips yes that's right and only touching her baby to the lip of the baby my hair remember you're just like doing that and play with you i'm writing that down i've got a do not touch anything else do not touch abby's belly boobs or what was the other thing but but no touching your butt but if i'm touching your hips though that's basically what i'm touching your butt but if i'm touching your butt no i'm literally touching your butt when i'm doing the hips yeah and when you yeah and that's the problem is sometimes at night when you're doing that to relieve pressure your hands drift and that's not what it's about it's not what it's about even a little bit okay so i have do not touch belly boobs but do touch hips and hair hips hair you can actually even scratch my back that sounds fine too back scratches are welcome okay yeah what else and just remember what to say to me and what to play such a good job with every contraction you're one step closer to meeting her baby yes you're doing such a good job i like that i like that say you're so tough you can say that i liked earlier when you said you're a badass i think that you're a badass i'm putting that in all caps and then here's a good way to tell matt a badass if i if i look at you like touching your ass just saying that you're bad what don't confuse that yeah no like if i look at you like this like then that's like knock it off knock it off and it's not even like not i don't even make a joke about knocking it off just like instantly change your behavior okay and then if it's if i look at you and i like kind of just gave you one of these like a little bit that means that was okay but doesn't mean do it again yeah because sometimes if i smile at you you get really excited you just do it over and over and over but you could bring it up again later wait what am i allowed to bring up again later if i smile at you and you like crack a joke but if it's a joke that's not a joke i'm like i don't want to hear that right now then i'm just gonna look at you like this got it or i'm not gonna look at you at all okay okay okay this is good i feel like i'm glad we hashed this out because i just don't want to harbor resentment in those times i agree oh and don't get on your phone no being on the phone And if you get food, don't bring it around me. Don't bring the food. No food around you. And don't take a nap. Unless given permission. This is really good. Like, no, I'm glad I have. I feel like this is like the blueprint. He likes explicit instructions. It's so helpful. So this is good. We're setting the expectations for the birth. I'm glad we're doing this. And I think that, oh, I do really want you to hold the baby. Like, I want you to do skin to skin while I get stitches. I don't want to hold the baby while I get stitches. I want you to hold the baby. Okay. I've got all this. They were trying to have me hold the baby while I was getting stitches. And I was like, excuse me. I'm hopeful this time that you won't tear and that you won't need to get stitches. You think you're going to tear? Yeah. Why do you think you'll tear? Because have you seen the size of a baby's head? Yeah, that's true. Have you seen the nature of where that's coming out of? Maybe, you know, I don't know. No, you know what people do is they do those massages. To help? Yeah. They like try to stretch the area? Yeah, and I'm like, I actually am opting out of that. Up to 85 to 90% of women tear. 85 to 90% of women tear? Holy crap. Here's what's blowing my mind, okay? Like, 80, okay, 85, 90%, whatever, tear? And guess what? That's not the worst part. What did ladies do hundreds of years ago? Like, they got stitches. But like, you're telling me that people knew how to stitch people up? Yes. 500 years ago? Think about war. I guess you're right. But I guess people just died. Like, think about all the infection that could have happened. Yeah. Especially if you, like, tear to your butt and then that. Yeah. Seriously. It's all mixed up in there. Seriously. That's awful. That's why I know that women are tougher. I do think you probably, yeah, I would say you have it harder than me. I gotta stop talking. Like, giving birth is pretty, pretty crazy. No, but it's like I'm excited to do it. Like, I'm pumped. I'm amped. Yeah. Like, I want to do it. Yeah. I want to do it. Like, I'm like, so, for me, like, when we were talking with our doula about, like, what is, like, birth to you, Matt said trauma. I said game day. Game day. And so, I'm like, it's like, put me in. Yeah. Because I feel like, I, it's true. Like, our bodies are uniquely created to do this. It's not like it's not supposed to happen. Yeah. And, yeah. I mean, I just hope that it would be really cool if it was just a first degree tear this time. That'd be great. Yeah. And it sucked that when, when you got your stitches, they had to be redone. You had to get them done twice. So, that's not happening. We're not. That's not happening. Let's manifest that not happening this time. No, one time is enough. Yeah. We don't need that. Yeah. But, you know what? I didn't have a ton. My. My recovery from that really wasn't bad either. So, I feel like this is better that you know what to do. Uh-huh. The other expectation is that whenever the baby cries, you're bringing the baby to me and I'm not getting out of bed to get the baby. No. And I feel like you know that one. No. Anyway. You already knew that. Oh, don't let them give the baby formula. Oh, yeah. Do not give baby formula. We're not doing that. Only if it's like we end up, like, I feel like I could just pump it out and we actually Yeah. have stuff. If a nurse tries to give our baby formula, I'm going to like walk up to them and just smack it out of their hand. Get that out of here. I'm going to do that. Yeah. I'm going to yell that too. I think that would be good. Just to intimidate them, you know? Yeah. Yeah. We'll just, I'll just ask questions. And she's going to be like, we're just supplementing the breast. Say, no, say. No, if she's like, hey, their blood sugars are dropping. It's like, hey, you know what? My wife has prepared something for this exact occasion with her own breasts. Yeah. She has made colostrum for this exact occasion. Yeah. So that's good. The things that I. You really think I'm going to say that to a nurse? My wife. It's your baby. With her own breasts has prepared colostrum for this very moment. So you don't need to be bringing any formula up in here. You want me to say that? You could just say, we actually have prepared colostrum that we can do in this case. Okay. Sounds good. I can say that. Yeah. And if a lactation consultant tries to grope me, what do you say? Oh, God. Well, that. Well, because. You and the last time we worked with the lactation consultant, our baby kicked you in the. In the C-section incision. Yep. That wasn't good. I almost yeeted our baby off of the hospital bed because of such things. It felt like a hot knife entering my abdomen. Are you going to let. If we ever have a lactation consultant come in, are you going to let them see that you're using a nipple shield or no? I think this time I'm going to be my own lactation consultant. Yeah. It's a third journey. Yeah. I feel like. If anything, I would let them tell me. Yeah. What phalange size is like my perfect size. Okay. Because that little template that we used the other day didn't feel the most accurate. That was dehumanizing. I did not like. I didn't like that you saw that. I actually felt embarrassed. Really? Yeah. Putting your nipple up to the different phalanges. In it. It was gross. That wasn't gross. You're just finding something that fits your body. I almost can't make eye contact with you right now. I'm a little embarrassed. Why? Because it's gross. I don't think it's gross. I think it's cool. I'm like, those girls are like 15 millimeters. I'm like, you're so cute. I need a bigger size. Anyway. Thank you to Chili Pad for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Boy, is it hot in Arizona. It is so hot. Oh my gosh. So hot. I don't know how anyone's doing it without a Chili Pad, if I'm totally honest. Now that we've switched to the Chili Pad, I don't know how we can go back. It's so nice getting into a cooled bed and it's just, and you wake up in the morning you got the warm blankets on you and then the bed is cold underneath you. Oh, I want to get in right now. That's why we have to tell you about the Chili Pad 2.0 by Sleep Me, the most advanced version of the bed cooling system built specifically for people who are tired of waking up hot and sweaty. The Chili Pad 2.0 actively cools or warms your bed using water. It's basically a thermostat for your bed and water is key here. Fans in general move hot air around, doesn't really do much for you, but the Chili Pad uses actively chilled water to cool the bed. Actually, pulling heat away from your body and it works with your existing mattress. So no new bed needed. You guys should definitely check it out. We even have a discount for you visit www.sleep.me/unplanned to get up to $250 to $5 off your Chili Pad 2.0 with code unplanned. This special offer is available for the unplanned podcast listeners and only for limited time. Order today with free shipping and try it out for 30 days. You can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial. That's so cool. Convenient visit www.sleep.me/unplanned and never wake up hot and tired again. Everybody submitted some questions on my Instagram and the Unplanned Podcast Instagram. So if you're not following all of us on Instagram, what are you doing? Okay. Get with the program. So our first question, this one comes from Brianna says, is Abby taking time off from both podcasts? I've actually already answered this. Yes, she is. She'll be taking a short break. Short or long, whatever you really want. Honestly. I'm taking two weeks off. Abby's taking two weeks off and we'll be having guest episodes on Unplanned and then on Always Here we'll have- Guest episodes that I'm in, that I've just already filmed. They're pre-filmed. And then on Always Here, are there any pre-filmed episodes there? Yeah, there's pre-filmed and then there's one week that my friends are going to step in. Nice. Okay. So there you go. Let's also say we've offered her more than two weeks. They've offered me more than two weeks. Thank you. Yes. Abby's just, she's a workhorse Amazing. So she- Well, it just messes everything up. Yeah. And you're a popular lady. You're very- No. People like being around you. I don't want to create more work for myself now and I also don't want to create more work for other people. Yeah. I hear what you're saying. So there's that. This is from Kylie. She said, "For Abby, any advice or hacks for being pregnant with other toddlers running around?" What are you doing to help- Shows. Turn on Disney's last page. I mean, I got to be so for real because I feel like that is something that I actively feel guilty about. Yeah. At this stage. But I'm also like- I think we've kind of hit that point where our kids have grown up a lot. They get a ton of play time in the day. They do play a lot. But there's periods of time where you just have to get stuff done around the house. You have work that needs to be done. You're a working mom. It's also for safety because they're the type of kids that will get into something. Yeah. We like to have some time where they're. If we're in the kitchen cooking dinner and they're playing in the backyard, okay, if somebody gets hurt, we're going to hear them go, "Oh, yeah." And then we'll run back and go check on them to make sure they're okay. Yeah. But it's like we can't just leave our kids unattended while we're filming a podcast or doing some long extended period of work together. So having a movie on is- Well, they do a lot of activities too. Oh, so much. But yeah, they've had more screen time than usual for sure. Oh, yeah. But I think that's. But we're entering this transition where they're going to be in school. Yeah. So we're weeks away from them literally being in school multiple days in the week. Yeah. For three hours. Okay. Yeah. Three hours is cool. But my other. My real advice too, which has been my advice before I was pregnant, but this is especially helpful when I am pregnant, is taking them out of the house. It's way better to get out of the house, even though it feels daunting, and to let them play with other kids. So then you're not the one that's constantly feeling like you have to be their play buddy. We go to a lot of. Since it's so hot in Arizona right now, we go to a lot of play gyms and they play with a ton of other kids. They run around, they get so sweaty and have so much fun. But it's not me. I'm surely plopped my booty in a chair while they're playing. And that's honestly my best advice. And also to just accept help if you need it, if you can. If there's people offering to hang out with your kids or to. Even just scheduling a play date, it offloads you once again being the play buddy. Yeah. And I do feel guilty about that because I'm like, man, I feel like I have not been. as good about playing with my kids but i do know that this is a short season totally and you have so much time like you spend so much time with them yeah so i don't know them playing with other kids is also great for their development too oh also reading books with them that's something that they really like and i can do seated surely and um i love reading books to them this is from caitlin she said what is the hardest part about having kids uh probably just a transition i would say into into it I think your time isn't your own anymore that's probably I would say that's the hardest part is like your your time is not your own anymore yeah bingo um you just have to adapt to thinking about feeding them uh like their schedule you know yeah everything is kind of around their needs come first before yours and like it's crazy how that goes into every area of your life like even like where like what we eat is also kind of determined by them like things like that um but also I think it's probably the one of the greatest things that you can like as a human experience and in this act of like selflessness yeah yeah I think and I just there's so much deep purpose in having kids this is from Stacey she said do your kids favor one parent and want them for everything how do you handle it I feel like for us not not the most I feel like it's because we're so 50 50 like yeah it's not like you're gone for the work day and I'm home with them all day like we both handle work and home 50 50 so I feel like they really don't have a preference I mean they're they definitely prefer me for more like if they're hurt or sick or sad and they go to you more for like play and just anything exciting they go for me whenever like for fun whenever they need a bad guy to chase them around or a lightsaber duel buddy that's me I'm always I'm always a bedtime guy so you're so good at it anytime I'm traveling or your bedtime stories could use a little what's wrong with my bedtime stories they're not pc oh god there's a lot of fart yeah a lot of poop jokes my bedtime stories but that makes them laugh yeah but do you understand that it's like it's like you're like our kids are going around saying poop and toot and all this stuff and like other kids parents are like we don't say that like how often does that happen not to our kids but they're correcting their own kids for that those things that you're telling them in their bedtime story what's wrong with that I don't have a problem with it either honestly but why do we care they think it's hilarious sometimes I'm like maybe they don't need to just go up to another random kid and poopy tootie butt that's so funny you think it's funny and that's crazy because I can just see the other kid's parent be like that's inappropriate no no this is what I hear a lot they're like hey we don't do potty talk and I'm like fair that's fair why are we okay with potty talk I think that's so dumb I guess that's just not a battle that we wanted to pick yeah I think I like to have fun I don't know I think it's fun to see your kids laugh and crack jokes with them so I don't think it's a hill I'm gonna die on as our kids say no you're like actually encouraging it though which is another step further when you really think about it what would your thoughts be on having this is from drote dog they said what would your thoughts be on having twins I'm curious as I'm a twin myself uh you know that would be crazy but I'm sure we would figure it out you know yeah I feel like twins sound really fun when you're pregnant for the first time and then any pregnancy after that you're like what a blessing and you're like so scared I I feel like um like I feel like twin parents probably hear the most like naive comments oh yeah like they're like well we had them close in age so it's like we had twins and they're like but you never had two newborns at the exact same you never had to nurse two babies like at the exact like or it's like well that's so nice that you not to kill two birds with one stone got them out I want it's like no they literally were pregnant with two full babies like that's so nice yeah at one time yeah like that just I just have so much respect for them that's all I have to say what's a parenting this is from authentically angel she said what's a parenting hack that used to work for you that doesn't work anymore everything the the red light green light what their hatch oh yeah yeah no we yeah we used to so like we still try so hard we have their night light be red when they have to stay in the room and green when they can come out but they just kind of don't really abide by that rule they kind of just do their their thing it's because they don't go in their pull-ups anymore oh yeah they like to go they like to go in the potty yeah what are we gonna say like don't go to the bathroom that is a tricky thing because our kids they found a loophole in our whole system because it's like stay in your room to the light screen and we have a program to like you know go off at a certain time but 6 45 it's not that much to ask for I know but then here's every time it's just out they we always catch them outside of the room going potty and they actually do go potty do every time they can always make some come out yeah they just so I don't know half the time I feel like they actually do need to go potty the other half I think they're just effing with us and so at this point we just kind of are like fine I guess the light go pee okay whatever like it's good that you're learning to not pee in your pull-up and you're peeing in the potty so yeah um rip that parenting hack um yeah so that's that's where we're at people um so many exciting things coming up for us uh seriously like can't can't believe that we're coming up on 200 episodes of this podcast see you hold a baby shirtless again really sweet you're really you're into that you think I'm yeah I look good with my shirt off with a baby it's a perfect combination really just baby with holding it's like yeah I was about to say yeah it's really I like it I'm also looking forward to seeing you shirtless with a baby okay that's animal planet that's not oh that is another rule wait wait we gotta talk about this you cannot touch me when I'm breastfeeding and I swear to goodness if you try why what's happened before I hate it I hate being touched when I'm breastfeeding what did I do so many inappropriate things like what I tell me what did I do I just comment on just don't even look at me when I'm breastfeeding how about that don't even look at you maybe don't even look at me when I'm breastfeeding don't why not especially if I have a hawk on where am I supposed to look away at what anything else okay don't touch me and don't look at me when I'm breastfeeding all right that's another thing we need to really lay a brain from ever touching or looking at you ever again when I'm breastfeeding when you're breastfeeding thank you you're welcome everybody thank you again for tuning in for another episode of unplanned if you haven't left us a review or like subscribe to the podcast we'd really appreciate that actually a lot of people are watching this and they're like oh my god I'm listening to this show but aren't subscribed and it's free to subscribe so you can do that really easily and it's also free to leave review it takes like five seconds so let us know what you think you guys and we'll see you next time bye check engine abs or maintenance light on take the guesswork out of your warning lights with o'reilly veriscan the service is free and provides a report with solutions verified by ase certified master technicians and if you need help we can recommend a shop for you ask for o'reilly veriscan today check engine abs or maintenance light on take the guesswork out of your warning lights with o'reilly veriscan the service is free and provides a 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