Speaker 1Is sobriety supposed to feel boring? Short answer, yeah, kind of, sometimes. But boring is good. And it's not because you're doing anything wrong. It's because your dopamine system is literally rewiring after years of artificial highs from alcohol and drugs. Most people think boredom and early recovery is failure and failing. Or I hear this all the time, life is just less fun when I'm sober. I was having so much fun out there. Were you? Were you having fun? Because I wasn't. By the end, I don't even, fun didn't even enter the equation. I was using drugs to survive, to quiet the noise in my head. There was no fun about it. Maybe I would tell myself I was having fun just to not feel so shitty about the whole situation and the fact that I had to go to my third rehab. Your nervous system is stabilizing. Your brain is healing. Give yourself a break. Your reward pathways are literally relearning how to enjoy life again. You're relearning how to enjoy the little things. I'm going to the keg tomorrow, so I'm excited. I'm Anthony. I'm an addict in recovery. I came into recovery in 2015. I managed to get together eight years clean and sober, and then I relapsed and went to my third rehab. Coming up on 10 months again, I'm an addiction counselor now, and I do these videos to pass on the message of recovery that I received over the years. Hopefully it helps. If you like what you're hearing and want more tips, just subscribe, follow me on Instagram. Recovering Out Loud pod and listen to the podcast. I appreciate you. Thank you. So in today's video, we're going to break down why boredom happens neurologically. I promise I'll make it as easily understandable as possible and not boring. Why it's actually a good sign, how long it lasts, and what you can do to rebuild excitement, pleasure, and motivation without relying on cocaine, meth, and alcohol or whatever the hell you used. So if you've ever thought to yourself, is this all my life is now? Is sobriety just supposed to feel flat? I promise you are in the right place and you are not alone. For the first three months of my recovery again, coming back in, I was bored as shit. It actually took me back out last time because I thought, is this all my life is now? Stick around. This might be one of the most validating things you've heard in recovery thus far. I hope it is. All right. So on a neurochemistry standpoint, I'm not a scientist or a doctor, but here's how I'll try to explain it and what I understand. After so many years, months, days, whatever, how long you've been using, you're constantly artificially raising your dopamine, right? So your dopamine level is constantly here at peak performance. And you're constantly doing that over and over again. Your baseline of dopamine drops after a while, right? So that steak doesn't seem as good or the walk outside or the sunset. It doesn't seem as stimulating or the simple things that you used to love doing just aren't enjoyable anymore, right? That's why a lot of people fall out of their passions. If you play the guitar, you know, playing the guitar just doesn't do it for you anymore because you're so used to your dopamine levels being through the roof because you use drugs and alcohol, your brain starts to adapt to that level over time. So we need to normalize this as just biological withdrawal, not a moral failing. You're not doing anything wrong. It's normal. So think of it like this. Add the volume level on your sound system at 10 for the last however long you've been using drugs and alcohol. And when you come into recovery, you got to slowly turn up the volume, you know, one tick at a time. You can't just go right to 10. You've essentially blown your speakers until this point, up until this point. Every time you experience boredom, essentially it's fear, right? For me, it's fear of, is this all my life is now? Is this it, right? There's no highs and lows. It's just stable. You've been so used to it. Living at a high and low for so long that being in the middle feels scary, right? You've missed the chaos and you were so used to the chaos. At least I was. Your brain is learning how to feel again. You're not chasing any highs anymore, just noticing. So I was mentioning that I had relapsed as a result of boredom last time before I went to my third rehab. And I can remember specifically a time driving home from the cottage and I was having those exact thoughts. Is this all my life is now? I have nothing to look forward to. I have nothing to look forward to. I have nothing to look forward to, right? That was another big one. And over time I started to think, you know what I need? I know how to fix this. I'm going to go back on Vyvanse, back on ADHD medication because I used to feel good when I was on it, right? My problem is I don't feel happy enough, right? Dangerous, dangerous place. Notice if you start to do that because take it from me, it starts with something seemingly insignificant, like getting back on ADHD medication. Next thing you know, you're a smoke and meth in someone's basement. As I always say, you got to tell on yourself. If you're bored, talk about it with people, get it out of your head. You can't do this alone. If you haven't figured that out already, then there's the myth of fun while drinking, right? So we thought we were having fun. I thought I was having fun. I was so much more fun when I was drinking. Not true. Every time I picked up, I ended up by myself in a hotel room because I was so ashamed of how I was doing coke. I didn't want anyone to see just how much I was doing and how I was often. I was doing lines. It was embarrassing, right? So my idea of fun, I always say this. My idea of fun was me alone in a hotel room with a bag of coke and a few beers or whatever I could get my hands on. Probably those stupid white claw drinks. I don't know. It was disgusting. So I want you to really think to yourself, was it actually fun or was it just distraction with consequences? And don't get me wrong. I had fun in the beginning. There were times when it was fun. Otherwise, you know, I would have never started to do coke, right? There were times when I had fun. I enjoyed the night. I was partying. I was able to go to work. I was able to show up and do things, but it didn't didn't last for me, obviously. Otherwise, I wouldn't be making this podcast. Wouldn't have been to three rehabs. Wouldn't have become an addictions counselor. Then a lot of us fall into this social identity crisis, right? Who am I without alcohol? I'm not the party guy anymore. I'm not the guy with the bag that everyone always comes up to and borrows their drugs off of. I just hate that. This stage is temporary. You need to relearn who you are. You need to find yourself as cheesy as that sounds. We have two jobs in this life to find our true selves and to love that true self. Recovery is self-searching, honest self-appraisal, self-examination. I need to know how I tick, why I tick, why I do the things that I do. Why do I use drugs? Well, for me, it was to turn down the volume in my head, right? I didn't like the noise, the worries of tomorrow, the I'm a bad person. When I would do drugs, that would quiet down for a bit until, you know, that quiet period by the end. Next, how to build real dopamine. And I'm not talking about that quick gambling up and down feeling. I'm talking about lasting dopamine. Like when you help somebody, you know, find, I don't know, their way home, give them directions and they thank you from the bottom of their heart, or you celebrate somebody's one year with them and they tell you, I couldn't have done it without you, right? Those are, that's real dopamine in my opinion. And this comes from sleep, nutrition, exercise, right? All those boring things that people tell you to do on the internet that actually fucking work, right? Sunlight, routine structure. When you start to do these small tasks over and over again, you are building dopamine. I can do things, right? I got into running when I got sober. The first time I ran three marathons, I didn't think I could even run 10 kilometers, ended up doing it in recovery. What a gift. It was amazing thing. I can do hard things. You can do hard things. You just haven't tried yet, right? You haven't figured out what that thing is yet that you can do. The possibilities are endless. You'll never know if you keep drinking and using. This one is important. I love this one. Your definition of fun will change, right? Your priorities change. It's the reason why you stop hanging out with drinking buddies because you remove the alcohol and the drugs. It turns out you don't have anything in common besides alcohol and drugs. You're learning yourself. You're finding new hobbies. For me, it was running. Then it was making videos on the internet and editing and podcasting, right? You've got to try new things to find your new thing. Try hiking with a friend, right? Go, I don't know, travel. Traveling is another one. Maybe wait a bit till you get a little bit more sober to do that one because, you know, fuck, airports are triggering. Other countries are triggering. I can have a drink in Europe and no one would know, right? Have you ever had that thought before? You can go anywhere in the world sober if you're on fit spiritual ground, right? If you're in a place where you have a plan, you can do it. Just maybe not yet. Give yourself some time. You'll get there. Trust me. Right now might not be the best time to do that. But if you're to put yourself in those difficult situations, if you don't have tools to cope with cravings, triggers, you know, halt. We went to King Street downtown last night, a place I fucking hate. I used to party there all the time. And I started getting all these emotions, seeing all the old bars and hotels I used to party at. And not that I wanted to use drugs or drink, but I was having these emotions. It was just a lot. I could feel it in my body physically. I paused and I said a prayer and I asked for guidance. And then I said, I thought to myself, am I halt? Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Turns out I was angry and I was tired. Once I acknowledged that, accepted it, it honestly went away. It's kind of like magic sometimes. If you practice it over and over again, try it. You never know. Loneliness versus boredom. Two very different things, right? Many people think they're bored when they're actually just fucking isolated and lonely, right? It's hard to go outside and connect with people. People suck sometimes, you know? I don't want to go leave my house a lot of the time, but I force myself to do it because I know the benefit is worth it at the end of the day. going to recovery meetings, talking to people that are going through shit, listening to how they got through it. It gives you hope. Community is a huge part of this, right? Community accelerates dopamine and emotional regulation. If I'm hanging out with people and I'm having a good time, I'm listening to their life, I'm asking them how they're doing, and then I'm being of service by simply showing up and bringing good conversation and a good time and positive attitude to the event. I'm not thinking about my problems and my shit and the fact that I'm trying so hard not to drink today. I'm not thinking about all that stuff when I'm out with other people. I'm connected. The opposite of addiction is connection. Go and connect. Get out of your head. All right, the plateau phase and how long it lasts. So typically there's about a 60 to 120 day window where life feels flat. Flat but stable. Your motivation starts to come back. Your joy starts to come back. Your confidence. you know you're starting to build a routine and do things check off the boxes feel good about yourself right help others this too shall pass just get through it all right and lastly how to make sobriety fun again exciting again set small goals right if you haven't called your mom in a while call your mom if you need to pay off a credit card minimum payment do that right get the dopamine from from doing small insignificant seemingly insignificant things clean your bathroom clean your house cook a meal try something you've always wanted to do small wins right small wins this is important prove to yourself that you can do shit you can get shit done you are more than a bottle on the couch by yourself or a bag in a hotel room in my case be comfortable in uncomfortable situations right notice when these feelings come up of like i don't feel good right now this doesn't feel good what what is this about question it ask more questions talk about it why do i feel this way why does that guy why is that getting me so angry the uber guy riding his bike on the fucking sidewalk why do i get so angry about that i need to snap at him that's a personal one for sure what is this about help others call your friend up and ask him how he's doing or how she's doing get in someone else's shit get out of your own and then you'll start to build momentum so do these things one day at a time just don't drink today one thing at a time build that momentum and long before you know it you're doing hard shit again you're having fun your priority of fun changes suddenly the hike outside watching the sunrise or sunset is brings you joy again cooking a nice meal for your partner brings you joy playing with your dog brings you joy whatever your thing is playing the guitar like i said brings you joy again it will come just keep going excitement is something you create not something you can drink or put up your nose all right guys thanks for tuning in um if you like this video please subscribe to my channel and hit the bell icon so you don't miss any of my new videos and i'll see you in the next one bye bye bye this video please subscribe follow rate the podcast whatever you do i truly enjoy making these videos if you have comments about what you want to see next please write them below i will respond and i will do a video on that topic thank you so much for being here recovery is simple not easy one day at a time you can do it let's go
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