Is living with our parents still considered filial piety?

- Hi, Taisal! - Hey, Taisal! And I'm Jermaine! And welcome back to another episode of "Clevides." - Ash podcast. So today on "Hash Podcasts," we're actually going to unpack the concept of "Fillial Piety." Omar, you know, specifically, who's responsible for taking care of our parents and who's responsible of taking care of us when we grow old? It's a big day in Asia, you know, especially in the Eastern culture. Because in Western culture, it's different, right? Usually when kids are 18 years old, they move out and they kind of never go back to the nest. Yes, they turn 18 their parents as a couple. Yeah, and the parents actually want them to move out. Yeah, they're like, please go. Go, like, yeah. Please find a space outside. Exactly. Whereas in the Asian context, I feel like our parents would never want us to move out unless we were married. - Oh. - Usually? - Have you got your parents? - I have moved out. Yeah, I moved out, but they were very unwilling for me to move out. And in fact, they always want me back, you know. But you're sibling moved out as well. Because my brother is married, so he moved out. Yeah. But my sister is not, so he's still staying together with my parents. And just yesterday, my sister told me in private that my mum told her that she's very thankful that my sister still lives with them. Oh. I felt so heartbroken when I heard that. Because my mum thinks that, you know, the second daughter, the third son, they're both out already. So left the eldest daughter. Yeah, I think Phillip Piaiti is very big in Asian culture, especially, right? And you think about this complicated relationship with our parents. When we grow old, or when they grow old, do we have to support them financially, monetarily? But let me ask you guys first. What do you think Phileo Piaiti means to you? I think it means spending time with them and making sure they know that they're loved by me. I don't have to be physically staying with them, but I have to just spend time with them. Maybe every weekend, if I can, to the best of my ability. I think, like, while they are your parents, it's like everything else as well, where they are like many different ways to do it, show it, you know, so it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to live with it. But I think in this side of the world, especially, because it's always been that way, right? And also because of, I guess, you know, it's expensive to own a place and things like that. So it has become very natural that, you know, until a certain age you live with your parents, they expect you around. It feels like you are there to help them out with the little things, the daily stuff. It's the way they show love, right? Not just by living with them. You guys know who Confucius is? Of course. What's his Chinese name? Kongzi. Kongzi, I would like to quote the Kongzi right now. All right. Correct. Am I right? Right. Go to the y'all. Whoa. Confucius says, there are three degrees of failure piety. Okay. The highest is being a credit to our parents, so like making them proud. The second is not discreasing them. Okay, like at least we are there. And the lowest form of failure piety is being able to simply support them. So supporting them is the basic. Emotionally or financially is the basic. And the very top is making them proud. Yeah. So Confucius has a point. But yes, there are many different forms of failure piety, right? Some acts include obeying your parents wishes. Like if your parents say, don't go out tonight. And then you go out tonight, that's not failure piety. Really? Yeah. Taking care of them when they're old, working hard to provide them with material comfort, such as food money or pampering, or even giving them a monthly allowance, such that maybe they can retire earlier or they don't have to work so hard in order to support themselves, right? These are commonly viewed as displays of failure piety in Singapore. I've had family friends and friends and all that, who have to give monthly allowance to their parents, right? But their parents view their kids as more of a retirement plan, where in a sense, like, you know, if I want to start working at any time, I'm just gonna stop. You guys have to support me, not just in my basic necessities, but if like, whatever I want. Yeah, I want to buy Rolex watch or a material thing. You have to chip in because you are my kid. What do you think of that then? Where they view kids as a retirement plan? Here's the thing, right? First of all, I know people have different views about this, but I feel like if you're gonna have kids, you need to know that, or you need to be ready that they don't owe you anything. Okay. If they do it, they do. If they don't, it was a choice that you made to have them. What do you feel, Hazy? I can feel the tick-tockers coming at us for this, really. Enough lah. Enough lah. Well, I feel like to a certain extent, as you're right, right? But I can't deny that a lot of parents think that they're bad kids to create sort of like a path for themselves when they are old and they are sick, you know, they're someone to take care of them. But I agree, you know, when you give us the kids, you have to be ready that they have their own lives that they want to lead. Who's to say that they will stay in Singapore, you know, by your side forever? They can very well migrate elsewhere, start their own lives elsewhere, and a lot of parents would be happy for their kids like they choose to do so, right? So I think a lot of people say, right? I mean, based on what you guys are covering, that your parents didn't leave you when you were young, so don't leave them when they are old. Yeah. Which is a very hard breaking thing to hear. Yeah. I agree. Yeah. But I also feel like I don't like it when they're obligations, you know, like I'm gonna do it anyway, sure. But don't tell me. But don't feel entitled to it. Is that what you're saying? Well, I mean, it seems like, you know, the least you can do, according to Confucius, is give back to them for raising you. In any way, doesn't have to just be monetarily. It can be through love, to spending time with them and all that. So when you girls first started your proper job, right? Where you earn your own keep, did you feel like you had to give your parents a monthly allowance? Yes. Yes? Yes, for sure. Because for my entire life, I've seen my father give my grandma money every single month. So I was brought up this way since he is so filial to my grandmother, I want to be the same way as he is. Of course, I'm not saying that the only way to be filial is to give them monthly allowance, right? But I feel like this is a little something that I can do them, why not? So how many percent of your monthly salary is there, is there like, you know, golden rule? Right. For how much you should give back to them? Okay, I feel like our drops are a bit more different. Our monthly income every month is very flexible. It fluctuates, right? And sometimes very, very vastly. So I feel like 10% of my basic salary is a mass gift. Okay. OK, 10%. And I'll speak 50, 50, la. I'll give my mom and my dad the exact same amount of money. But on certain months where I earn a bit more, then if I get my bonus, for example, I bring it out for a meal or just give them extra. What? Confucius would be very proud of her. Thank you. Thank you. Very nice. What about you, Zura? Do you participate in the act? No, be honest, I mean, it's fine. I give money every month. Oh, you do, you do. Is that a rule or no? I think as a start, I just sort of feel a bit like what? It's like a OK amount of gift you don't like. Not so shabby, right? Yeah. And then I sort of just did that. OK. I have a friend. He has a single mom. So grew up in a single parent family. And every month, he gives his mother $1,500. Wow. To me, that is a lot. That's 10% of his salary? No. I don't think so. I think that's at least like 30% of his salary, at least. Wow. That's incredible. Yeah, he tells me that because his mom worked so hard to raise him single handedly, this is the least he can do. And I'm just like, wow, respect, really. That's the highest degree. You see, right? This is also where I feel like you reap what you sow. You? OK. I mean, we have to be honest, right? Yeah. Not everyone have the best of relationships with their parents. OK. Sure. Not every parent have done right by their children. Understand. OK. I think you can't expect what you didn't give out of your kids. You know what I mean? I think you can't expect them to give you this, this, this, or a certain level of this and that. Just because you have the title, parents. That's a hot take. But let me one up you. I'm scared. By saying that, you know how like after a divorce, you know, Elimony, you are legally obliged to pay that, right? Did you know that in Singapore, there is a legal obligation. No matter if your parents treated you well or like shit, there's something called the Maintenance of Parents Act, which allows elderly or needy parents in Singapore to claim maintenance from their children who are capable of supporting them but not doing so. OK. So the law protects the elderly and the older generation and they can claim it in like a form of a monthly sum or a periodic sum. OK. Yeah. So pretty good. I never knew that this existed, to be honest. But wouldn't things be a bit ugly if it gets to the state? Of course. If you have to go through the law, I mean, that's a really, you know, complicated family situation for sure. But of course, OK, this is monetarily. Personally, I don't give my parents monthly allowance. But I try to do it in other ways. Like take them out for meals or spend more time with them, right? Honestly, all they want is like quality time with them. Correct. Because it also works is very busy. So just having a meal at home or spending time with them. But let's say, right, you get married and then your parents expect to move into your matrimonial home with you, your BTO or whatever it is. Wait, wait, why the outside? No, I think I. I. I. You can't accept that. Seriously, consider that. But I will explore other options. And if it comes down to the last resort, of course, I will gladly take them in. Yeah. You know, because I feel like after getting married, it's your own live man with your other half. And you're going to be studying your own family. I can accept, like, staying close with my parents. OK. Like, neighbors. Correct. Right. -Saya juga, saya rasa, saya rasa ada di sana, atau di sana, saya rasa. -Betul. Tapi kalau di dalam same-same, saya cuma menghantar kesannya. -Takutnya? -Tapi kalau awak adalah satu-singgu yang lain, -Tapi kawan-kawan awak ada di mana-mana untuk pergi? -Saya akan beritahu dia. -Kalau, Zain? -Okey. Saya akan beritahu dia sangat sebabnya. Jadi, percaya, awak tahu, semua orang yang boleh berlaku untuk makan. Tapi saya rasa, kawan-kawan awak sangat penting. -Kawan-kawan apa? -Okey. Kalau kawan-kawan awak, itu betul, kan? Mereka lebih mudah untuk mencari. -What if? -Mak ada hal-hal orang lain. Oh, ya, itu betul. Itu dia. Kalau dia sangat nak beritahu awak, -Tapi dia perlu beritahu. -Tapi apa kalau dia beritahu? Mereka yang saya beritahu, itu cukup beritahu. -Kanau awak? -Kanau awak beritahu? -Ia tak tahu. -Tapi kawan-kawan awak, kalau dia beritahu. -Saya tak tahu. -Kawan-kawan awak. -Tidak, itu sangat-macam. -Ya. Maksudnya, saya rasa ini tak lama. Saya rasa ini adalah seperti itu. -Saya rasa ini. -Saya rasa ini. -Saya rasa ini. -Saya rasa ini. Jadi, maksudnya, kalau awak ada di perjalanan, atau awak di perjalanan pertama, saya rasa. -Kamu nak awak beritahu mereka? -Kamu nak beritahu mereka? Mungkin malu seule, destat Police Badu Jul thought yang cuff chasダ sendage di depan pedas registrari ini, Suka sendiri cariative. Dia estánya meninggal dengan cara convien. Pemukulahnya berharap i Feelco uitangi вышah itu. Itu syura menarik котором. Vermil Wrong! Helahkan abang bijanku banding. Dia understandable. Seperti adalah ya masa yang artihanya. Sudah jika di Optro банan. Mereka tak ada perlukan dan berlukan. Dia beri saya kembali ke depan pedas registrari yang saya beri. Jadi mereka selalu mencari untuk mempunyai seorang yang terbaik. Mereka tak perlu lakukan perlukan. Tapi saya tahu mereka rasa berpiksa. Mereka tak perlu lakukan mereka. Okey. Jadi, awak rasa. Saya rasa minta maaf, harapnya terlalu, berbual, jika mereka mempunyai kaya, seperti sebab saya ada dimensi dan beritahu kaya, seperti mereka tak perlu beri kaya. Apa di dalam situasi? Saya tahu kaya, yang. sebab kaya, perlukan di depan pedas registrari yang terlalu, dan saya tahu di kaya, mereka akan mempunyai kaya. Mereka tak perlu beri kaya, perlukan kaya, perlukan apa-apa. Tapi saya rasa, saya tak nak beritahu kaya, seperti seorang anak, jika ada kaya, jadi apa-apa, seperti itu. Jadi, awak buat sendiri atau awak buat apa-apa? Saya ada kaya, yang minta maaf untuk beri kaya. Jadi, mereka perlu beri kaya, tapi mereka ke rumah. Dan, ya, maksudnya, hidup di kaya. Sebab dia perlu beri kaya di jauh hari. Dia tak nak kaya beri kaya dengan kaya. Oh, itu suatu. Ya. Saya rasa, saya rasa, saya rasa, itu tak ada kelihatan. Dan awak nak mengatur kelihatan masa awak dengan kelihatan. Tapi ini adalah kelihatan kelihatan. Ini yang kita beri. Mari kita beri kaya, jadi sesuatu yang lebih kecil. -Okey. -Kamu fikir, masalahkan kelihatan yang beri kaya. Jadi, kelihatan, saya rasa, ini adalah kelihatan kelihatan yang beri kaya. Mereka ada sesuatu yang beri kaya. Kita perlu beri kaya untuk kita. Kalau hari ini kita tahu kita selalu, kita ada kecil. Tapi kita perlu pergi ke hospital, dan itu saja kita boleh menggunakan kecil kita. Sebenarnya, ada kelihatan kelihatan dengan kelihatan kelihatan. 69% orang menggunakan kelihatan yang pertama adalah sebabnya, untuk menjadi responsibkan kelihatan kelihatan kelihatan orang lain. Karena kelihatan mereka telah mencari, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya, kaya. Bukan kelihatan yang terbuka untuk menggunakan kelihatan. Dan itu untuk usahkan kelihatan kelihatan yang terbuka. Jadi, saya rasa kita sangat menerima di dalam kaya, di dalam kaya, kita ada kelihatan kelihatan yang terbuka. Mereka menggunakan kelihatan yang terbuka, mereka ada kelihatan kelihatan yang terbuka. Saya rasa kerana ada banyak banyak kelihatan di dalam kaya. Jadi, apa yang orang mahu, sebab mereka mempunyai kelihatan yang terbuka, sebab mereka mempunyai kelihatan yang terbuka, mereka tidak akan mempunyai kelihatan. Karena mereka ada kelihatan yang terbuka, Jadi, saya rasa itu yang terbuka untuk mencari kelihatan. Saya rasa, di dalam kaya, kita mempunyai kelihatan kelihatan yang terbuka, di dalam kaya, di dalam kaya, di dalam kaya, di dalam kaya, dan kelihatan kelihatan yang terbuka, apa yang terbuka, di dalam kaya, kelihatan yang terbuka, Saya akan berikan diri daripada kaya. тиgu yakin itu di masaoss. Mereka mempunyai nessa kata-kata,. negum yang dikeliruk untuk mengerusi. Semalam kami iets bari baru. Mesyuarat dia. Kita jumpa sakit-askit di ketigaan. 63 milas. Kemudian anda rasam yang memanjus dari salah saya. Selainsと, dia tanya satu seperti学okan. Segini dari muk^^ Itu popular sekarang, jadi. shi culturesi itu mixed river. Naik Milton Ketaman Si nos24 di Muk^^ Kita ada yang eksik步i. Dan dia mempunyai sesuatu seperti itu. Jadi, apabila menghentikan. seorang di tempat kecil. saya mungkin atau anda, atau Zura. Kami ada ideasi seperti itu. saya mengembangkan kecil. Saya rasa itu yang sangat serang. Dan kita harus mempunyai mereka semua. seperti kita boleh. -Saya. -Kamu. Dan sebenarnya, seorang 72% di tempat kecil. dan se squat terta four jenis. Itu tidak relacionkan gambar ذar, bukan? -Tapi 12 ped perks. -Ya, perai Periodęp. Jadi, algo yang socarta yang dengar nanti di manaBAr我的 apa-apa yang Ariel gampang dapat? -Ya, juga itu misesnya. -Ya, pineapple leanedum kan juga dariumber. -Nanti itu gampang hacianya juga link-link-link. -Okey. -Just asa kuning nanti men there're a huge difference for each other, -berapa siapa yang awak bisa pesawat. -Ya, begitu betul lah. Tapi saya rasa, kamu tahu, keadaan-adaan, keadaan-adaan, keadaan-adaan. Terima kasih, itu adalah makanan yang terspaksa untuk menerima. Saya tahu, saya minta nanti, mereka pergi keadaan, kerja, kerja, sekejap, untuk membuat mereka di dalam sebuah setiap setiap, jadi mereka tidak ada masalah yang terbaik, dan mereka akan mempunyai, bukan membuatkan kerja, sekejap, seperti itu di masa depan. -Saya berkata. -Saya berkata. -Okey. -On kata. -On kata. -Okey, apa tentang kemudian kita percaya dan menikmati keadaan-adaan, -yang kemudian 65, yang bila saya kata, sangat kemudian keadaan-adaan. -Okey. Sebab 1-5 orang di Singapore, adalah 65, jadi lebih keadaan. Jadi, apa yang ada di dalam keadaan-adaan? Kita boleh menikmati keadaan-adaan. Saya rasa, salah satu mereka adalah. bila-bila keadaan-adaan, kan? Saya juga perlu menikmati keadaan-adaan, di dalam keadaan-adaan, -Okey. -Dah keadaan-adaan, untuk menghubung keadaan-adaan, di dalam keadaan-adaan, jadi, kita pergi ke keadaan-adaan, di dalam keadaan-adaan dan kita mempunyai keadaan-adaan, dan kita boleh juga berhubung untuk menghubung keadaan-adaan, di dalam keadaan-adaan. -Okey. -Okey. Saya rasa, satu lagi yang berbicara untuk menghubung keadaan-adaan, kita boleh menikmati keadaan-adaan, -Okey. -Saya, apa mereka mempunyai keadaan, sekejap, sekejap, apa-apa. Tapi setiap kali, kita minta mereka untuk mempunyai mereka, menurut mereka, mereka gembira. Saya rasa ini ada sesuatu yang saya tak boleh menerima. Ya, sebenarnya, saya rasa mereka juga. Dengar-dengar mereka, mereka rasa seperti. Saya rasa ada pencitaan yang saya rasa seperti. Kamu selalu bertambah ke kecemasan, orang-orang di luar. Dan itu patutkan, seorang kecemasan, di mana awak rasa seperti. "Oh, awak tak berguna, tak berguna, awak lebih berguna. Saya rasa itu membantu, seperti untuk mempunyai mereka. Mereka sangat menerima, kita boleh berkata mereka dan seperti. Saya rasa untuk berguna, saya pasti mereka rasa berguna. Saya rasa satu yang membantu mereka lebih banyak di dalam kecemasan, adalah kecemasan digital. Saya rasa banyak mereka tahu bagaimana menggunakan kecemasan, dan kita menurutkan kecemasan, mereka sangat berguna untuk mereka. Dan, kamu tahu, beberapa kecemasan kecemasan, mereka juga melakukan. like, "How to use smartphone 101 classes?" Mereka mempunyai kecemasan, mereka mempunyai kecemasan, kamu tahu, berapa-apa untuk menghantar kecemasan, dan semua ini. "How to use FaceTime?" Jadi, banyak perkara seperti itu membantu mereka dengan kecemasan digital. Kalau kamu boleh pergi kecemasan, "How to use?" Saya tak tahu, "Tik tak." Saya ada banyak kecemasan, "Tik tak, ini sangat cool." Dan kamu tahu, saya minta, dia menggunakan kecemasan, kerana mereka ada kata-kata yang sedikit, saya tak tahu apa yang berlaku berlaku, atau seperti. Ya, kamu boleh menghantar kecemasan, dan seperti. Dia takkan menggunakan kecemasan, kerana dia lebih berlaku, seperti itu, seperti itu, seperti itu, seperti itu, seperti itu, tapi pada same-sama dia mempunyai kecemasan, saya akan mempunyai kecemasan, "How to use apps like Shoppy, Lazara, Instagram, whatever you name it." Itu sangat cool. Or, saya juga menghantar kecemasan, "How to use FaceTime?" kerana saya ada kecemasan, "The video is on, but he will be like, "Hello?" Saya semua lihat kecemasan, saya seperti. "Betul, kecemasan, terima kasih." Terima kasih, saya akan berjaya dari kecemasan, jadi seperti itu. Or, juga, perasaan yang boleh berlaku, untuk berlaku di masa-nya di dalam penjagaan, seperti, "You know how young people, right?" kita berlaku di seluruh kecemasan, jadi orang siapkan, mereka rasa mereka mempunyai kecemasan, untuk berlaku di masa-nya di dalam penjagaan, untuk berlaku di seluruh kecemasan, mereka boleh berlaku, dan mereka boleh berlaku di seluruh kecemasan, di depan, itu yang paling baik. Itu yang penting. Apa-apa tentang menghantar di dalam penjagaan dan kecemasan, di mana kamu berlaku di seluruh kecemasan, kamu tahu, kita suka berlaku, kamu tahu, bukan? dan kita selalu melihat ini, atau antih, di dalam penjagaan dan kecemasan, di dalam penjagaan dan kecemasan, di dalam penjagaan dan kecemasan, -Saya sangat bergantung di sini. -Ya. Awak sangat bergantung di sini, saya akan bergantung di sini. Tapi awak takkan bergantung di sini. Saya rasa itu bergantung di sini. -Saya sangat bergantung di sini. -Ya. Ada seorang senyus mereka terpaksa mencari mereka. Mereka nak bergantung di sini. Mereka nak bergantung di sini untuk bergantung di sini. Mereka masih nak bergantung di sini. Tapi semua keselamatan. Saya tahu, saya suka keselamatan. Saya suka keselamatan. Tapi seperti apa yang saya waspah, anda tak perlu kata-kata semula. Mereka tak perlu kata-kata semula. Correct. Awak juga boleh mempunyai penyakit dan penyakit. Awak boleh mempunyai penyakit dan penyakit. Awak boleh mempunyai penyakit dan penyakit dan penyakit dan penyakit. Awak boleh mempunyai penyakit dan penyakit dan penyakit. Awak boleh mempunyai penyakit. Awak boleh mempunyai penyakit dan penyakit dan penyakit dan penyakit dan penyakit dan penyakit. Terima kasih kerana di Instagram. Terima kasih kerana di Instagram.