inventing a new beer

Perustin pyöräilyvää teitä valmistavan ornotin vuonna 2013. Mielestäni parasta Shopify saan se, että voimme harjoittaa liiketoimintaa ilman teknistä osaamista. Voimme hallinnoida yrityksen taustajaristeelle mien ja front-endia sekä myydä verkossa, vaivatta. Jos Shopify olisi pyöräilyvaruste, sollisimielestäni itse polkupyörä. Sillä asiat hoidetaan ja meidän liiketoiminta me hoituu Shopify'sssä. Aloita ilmainen kokeilu, Shopify piste komsi vustolla. Sitten on kokeilu, Shopify piste komsi vustolla. Sari kokeilu, Shopify piste komsi vustolla. Skouba kokeilu, syd? Skouba kokeilu, syd? Skouba kokeilu, syd? Skouba kokeilu, syd? Skouba kokeilu, syd? past a great white shark on purpose. - I am afraid of so many things in this world. There is nothing I'm afraid of more than gray white sharks. - Mm-hmm. - It's like, and there's a zero percent chance that I'm ever fucking, like I don't put myself in positions very often where I'd be near one, but it is like a real, it's a real thing for me. My buddy said they saw sharks, like they were like, they surf, they'd be surfing. - Yeah. - My Oliver was like, yeah, we've seen sharks like every day this week. - Well, I told you that what was the stat I told you? If you're surfing in Southern California, there's a 93% chance you're like, I can't remember the exact wording they used, but you're in the neighborhood of a shark. Like, you're, or sorry, they said you're accompanied by a shark. So they're like where you are. And that fucked up. - And nobody, I was like, so you saw it and you'd like left the water and me, there's like no. - Dude, they, the surfers guys are like built. I told you Noah that, that surfers guy, that tried to teach me how to surf unsuccessfully. He was in Hawaii. He said one swim under him. And they all were like completely fine with it. It's just a way of life. I guess it would be like, like we, you're stuck under you. - Right, it's like how you and I would react if a lion walked under us. We'd just seen it so many times when we're numb to it. - It's like, yeah, we do a podcast that should happen. - It's like just par for the course here. But it's like driving. Like we drive, you were scared the first couple of times you were driving that you were gonna crash, but then you realize it's just not really a thing that happens. - Oh, I get scared about crashing all the time. - Like every time you drive. - I think fuck fuck fuck fuck. - Not that, but like I feel like I'm like very cautious 'cause I'm, I think everyone's like, and people don't even think about how scary car crashes are. And I'm like every time I'm driving, I'm like I am not getting any car crashes. - You know what I've been doing lately? - What? - Like, you know how a lot of the crosswalks here, people just don't stop for you when you're in the crosswalk? - Sure. - I just have like started walking before they've started breaking. 'Cause it's a win-win for me if they hit me. - You could die. - Like only streets where they're going like 35. - Okay. - And I'm like ready to jump on the hood. If they hit me, I get to sue them. If they don't, I get to get to my destination 15 seconds faster. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? - Did you like at college? Have like the rumor though, like if you got hit by like the school bus. - Free tuition? - You got free tuition. - Yeah. - Like the school. But you know, like the school bus service. - Yeah. - Do you have that? - You got hit by the short bus. That's how we find out you were in like a special ed program at BZ. - And that would be funny to you. - Yeah. - It would be pretty funny. I'd be like, that program must be amazing. It was like pretty smart. - Yeah. - Word you with that program for like a day? - I was in elementary school where I don't even know if that's actually what I had. All I know was I was with them for a day and then I was never with them again. And no one ever told me why. It was just like that's where I went for like an hour. And they were like, yeah. I think I'd hold it in my-- - I think I'd send out a triple A. - Yeah, they sent me out of the mine. They sent me down to the miners. I told you my theory was they were worried I was gonna become too powerful. - What? - Like I think they were worried they were like, he has too much influence over these guys. - Were you influencing them? - I mean, no more than anyone else, but-- - What were you influencing them to do? - I just think they realized they're like, he's got these guys in the palm of his hand. Like if he mobilized that person-- - Too powerful. - Rooted. - Yeah. - You know what I was like boys with a couple of them. Like I would go, there was like this one kid that was like a friend of mine that had down there. - Yeah. - That's fun. - No, but I mean like not in the like traditional sense. Like we were like actually buddies. - Yeah. - How old are you? - How old are you in second grade? - Me, nine. - I was 14, but-- - No, second grade, what are you like? - Seven. - Eight. - Eight. - I just played Dungeons and Dragons for five hours before this. - Yeah, I was gonna ask. - That's why I'm dressed like this. - Unbelieved. - Just noticed. - I just thought it was fashion week. So I thought maybe you were just-- - Is it really? - Yeah. - Collicular was walking in Paris Fashion Week. - Really? - Yeah. - Sorry, continue. - No, that's good. When I went to Paris, they said it was fashion week. Are there multiple Paris? - Pull up. - Can you rule out there multiple Paris fashion weeks? - I can't believe we're just like a Bing family now. - It's awesome. There's a spring, one and a fall one. - Interesting. - Oh yeah, autumn went to, so I was there from, yeah, that's exactly what he goes there. And a February being in March. - It is mens. I think I was there, men, women's-- - I was at the women's ready to wear fall winter, 2026 to 2027th. - No, no, no, no, I'm a-- - I do fashion robot. You have to hear Will's fashion robot impersonation. - My skin. Shom, Shomore skin. Shomore whole. (laughs) Shomore. - Less, less whole. - Less whole, there we go. Perfect amount of whole. Just one spoke. Oh my God. Were you the one I was talking about, the wrinkles on someone's bottle, you can tell they're there? - Tree. - Oh no, that was, that was at golf. That was a classic golf talk. We got this, we got this four caddy, and we were out there. I guess you have to have them on the weekends. And he was the coolest guy ever. He was 19, who's his first time he's ever done this. So he was stoked to be out there, doing a great job. And that was one of the conversations that he overheard. 'Cause usually he's like 60 yards away from you. 'Cause you hit and then he'll go to everyone's ball and tell you how far it is. And then he came to get, give someone a yardage when we were talking about, you can tell how someone, how old count them are. - Like, some of them are around. - That's pretty funny. - We also toyed with the idea of, it's how many times they've had sex. - Oh, but I think the old age is there. - Yeah, the age one is funny. We were just saying like, if your wife had told you she was a virgin and then like on your wedding night, it had like a hundred rings. - And you were expecting it to be smooth. - That, yeah. - That would be a nightmare. - Yeah, that would be a fucking nightmare. - I have a, I got nothing. Oh, that's okay. I feel like I've said everything I could say today. - Tell me about dungeons and dragons. - It was fucking awesome. You guys were going for a fucking hot mess. - Yeah, it was sick and I could do it again tomorrow. I mean, it got to, I get to. It's honestly a blast. I wish I did it like for leisure too. I wanna get more into it. - I feel like that's a pretty attainable goal. - Totally, totally. - You definitely run with a crew of guys that could get behind that. - Yeah. - We also already have all the props. - They're all Johnny's. - No, sorry. I mean like a tire was. - Oh yeah, we got the Caleb. - Caleb came over to my house and just like went through my closet and just grabbed medieval stuff. - Today? - Now last week before I left for Texas. - Oh. - Did you guys wear-- - This ain't Texas. It's saying hold on. - So what's the campaign about? - Can you explain to me how to spoil it? - Can you explain to me how the rules work at least? - I mean, basically the dungeon master just makes up like a story. - Okay. - And you all have like characters and on your turn you like do a thing and he tells you like, all right, if you wanna do that then you roll, if you need to roll a blank to be able to do that. - And is he kind of flying about the seat of his pancer? Does he know like if Will wants to stab that guy at the bar, that's a 12-sided dice? - Both, you have like a character sheet with like very specific like, if you have like a list of attacks you can do and they each have like specific roles that you have to do and-- - Can you go rogue? - I like my character is a rogue, fun fact. A dragon-born rogue. - What does a rogue do? - Like a thief, like a-- - Oh. - But I'm like a sort of a vigilante, like for good. - Yeah, I'm like, I've told him to model it after as close to Cassie and Andor as he could. - Okay. - My favorite character from shows. - From shows? - Yeah, he's my favorite show's character. - Nice. - How much was that vest that you're wearing? - Actually, none of your fucking business. But-- - So I was there when he got it and I can tell you it was not cheap. - So fun fact, apparently Lucas hit his limit on his company card and now I can't make the thumbnail for our episode tomorrow. - What do you mean? - Because we use a special program that we have to pay for a subscription for and because Lucas hit the limit on his card and the subscription is on his card, we can no longer use the service. - Well, to be fair, the card gets-- - So I'll help him with it. - It was unrelated to this. - Yeah, the card gets MOTS loads the card up with the amount we need for every shoot. - Yeah. - Wait, really? - Yeah. - So MOTS is-- - No, he actually, wrong. He loads the card up with slightly less than the amount we need for every shoot, which becomes an ink-- - Literally every single shoot, the card number. - You call him and ask him-- - Every single shoot, the card runs out of money and then we have to call him ask, yeah. - He doesn't trust you guys with just like a normal credit card. - No. Well, I think the problem is that the company has, they have $10 that they just shuffle around between everyone. So when we're like, we need more money, he has to call, like-- - Lupica. - Lupica and-- - Come down, he'll come down and be like, hey, can you Venmo me real quick? I'll send it back in a sec. - Do you see how I almost got the fucking millionl today? - Oh yeah. - Someone made-- - Someone made-- - My idea, the millionl? - Yep, somebody made it. - Can we try it? - Yeah, well, yeah. - There's one flaw. And other than that, it's absolutely perfect. It's that when you send the results, it tells that person. and what your guess was. - Got it. - It needs to just say how far off you were. - Yeah. - So I've already played it. I think Andrew, you've already played it, right? - Although, even saying how far off you were is like too big of a hint. Because if it said like you were 950,000 off, then you know it's either-- - That's true. - Yeah. - Kind of. - Andrew, can I confess something? - Yeah. - So it's gonna be bad. - No, it's not bad. It's very funny though. For the listeners, if you're DMing the play day to count, you're like 99% of the time talking to Andrew. I don't think you really check it, Willie. - Sure, yeah. - And I don't really check it. And even if I do see something, I, Andrew's already talking to them. So like I can't jump in, whatever. - Yep. - I opened one the other day. Someone-- - I know what you're talking about. - DM the play day to count a picture of who Andrew? - The backpack kid. - A picture of the backpack kid who he is experimenting with a facial hair setup that does make him look similar to Andrew, not a doppelganger, but similar enough. - Can I ask questions, the backpack kid? - He was the guy that I'm flossing. - Like the dance. - Yeah. I'm flossing. And they said like Andrew is the backpack kid. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - Instead of Andrew just saying like, Elimeo or like, cry and laughing, he just sent like a bunch of question marks back. And the person was like, please don't block me. And then I was worried that Andrew was like, get a goal and like a rampage. So I just sent a crying laughing emoji to like defuse the bomb. - Can I see the photo? - Yeah, pull up the photo. 'Cause these don't, these obviously look nothing like in a group, except for the cornrows one. - The other picture doesn't. - Andrew, have you ever done cornrows? I could see you kind of. - You think I'm some Cornball ass, be honest. - No. - I did it back. - You think I'm a corny ass motherfucker? - No. Not at all. What the hell is going on man? - I was bad at doing the same thing. - It's my feelings. (dog barking) - I had to bike to work today in this outfit. - No. - What? - Well 'cause I was like, there's no way I'm gonna just like carrying this would be pretty. - Yeah, did you get any like whistles or cat calls? - No, I was like, it was honestly. - Jose, Jose. How's the mead? - It's like a sucker. - He does kinda look like a Andrew. - No, he does. - No, he does. - He's like Andrew. - He got it done. - He's like, if you like, looks like hot there though. That's like a compliment. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But he totally, it's the mustache to chin hair ratio. He's like spot on. - It's a compliment dude. He's like a sex symbol. - Doesn't feel like a- - You know, we were laughing my buddy and I, my buddy Will and I, did I use to the TikToks with? I remember some of the first comments we got were like, someone was calling saying that he looks like Ion Musk in the comments and I was like, dude, you see how these comments people are saying you look like Ion Musk and he's like, and that was like before he was even like hot version. He was just like a rich successful guy and it was like, wait, hang on. Like that's not like, he's successful for independent of his looks. Like that is not a, you know what I mean? Like you like couldn't, I was starting to be like, "Hey, see those comments?" - You were like, "You look like a billionaire." - A billionaire. And he's like, what? - That is not why people like him. - Have you ever seen Chinese Ion Musk? - No. - Wait, say it again. What is it? - Chad easy. - Chad easy. Ion Musk. - Who's that? - He feels like an impression. Chinese. - Pretty good. That kind of looks more like Will. - Will looks more like Chinese Ion Musk than regular. - It's uncanny. - That is unbelievable. So his thing is like being Ion Musk though, right? - Yeah. - He's like, "I'm Ion Musk." Doesn't he say like that? - Go to video. Go to video. Don't shoot the messenger. That's how he says. - Watch your video. Now we have to watch your video to find out if. - Hey everyone. I'm Ion. Ion Musk. - I mean, don't fuck. - I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. - Don't kill the carrier here. - Beautiful. - Yeah. Is that what you call the gun up? - Pustelab, beautiful. - We actually did call it kill. We did call it kill the carrier. - It's a crushed carrier. - I will say the grade above me called it the derogatory one. - Yeah, I know Andrew probably yelled at me. - Oh my god. - Andrew probably said it with some gusto. - Andrew probably found a rhyme for like the more hurtful slur. - Yep. But we, and I know you might not believe this. I grew up in a very progressive. - No, I believe it. - It was not acceptable to. - That's why you went to college in Florida. - I had to get out of my system. I was just like, I am a bird in a bird cage, right now you gotta let me fly. - Can I say something? Like there's no way birds are like living in a bird cage. It sounds, I'm not even kidding. - Yeah. - That sounds so ass. - Is anyone making the argument that like they love it? - He loves it. - No, but like any other animal, I'm like, like it's fun like a cat or dog around the house. Like I feel like they're down on their home bodies. - Yeah. - We will have a pet bird. I'm like that is so fucked. This thing could be at the grand canyon right now. - This thing could be at the front. - Like if I was a bird, I would be on fucking, oh the million hole. - Can I guess one? All right, let's, I'm gonna try to remember what it was. Eight, 12, no, 882, 415. - No way. Shut up. - You're joking. - Did you fucking do it ahead of time? - Joking. - Got you asked. - What was it? It was, wait. - Oh, I did do it ahead of time. I thought that's what it was. Oh no, I think that was what my score. - 400 and five. - I was like one confusingly about the million holes. It gives you like a score. - Yeah, I wish it was just like the answer was this. - The scores should just be the gap. So I was 15th in the world today. - And you wanna look. - I was 30 seconds. - I feel like the answer should be bigger. Why is the answer like the smallest text on the screen? I'll talk to the film. - So you see the poople's been catching on? - Really? - Like people are playing it around the office and everyone is running into the same issue that I'm running into where it's the most fun, it's the most fun game that I play on a daily basis. But it's the only one I like can't have people in public seeing I'm playing, 'cause it looks, you just look like a freak if you're playing the poople. When are you playing any word game in public where people are looking at your phone? - I was playing it on the plane, ride home. I mean, I guess I discovered this at a very like traveling heavy part of life, but like there, I guess it's mainly planes and airport terminals. So if I'm like being a homebody, then it's not a big deal. But if you want to be a homebody. - Yeah, you're gonna have a house party. - We're gonna have a house party. - Yeah, house party. - Do you ever wanna have a house party? - Yeah, that's awesome. - Do you ever wanna get Alex Gray to laugh? Just text him house party, but do two O's and make one of them capital. He'll hit you with the ha ha. - If you ever wanna make Andrew laughed, laughed. - She herself. - laughed. She herself right now you won't. Now I'm fucking with you bro. - What is the poople? - The poople is, you get a starting four letter word, right? So like every day, like the other day was quiz. You can change one letter in that word, right? - Each guess, you get. - Each guess. And you have to slowly get it to make the word poop. - Here, pull it up. Have you done it today? - No. - I have done it today and I got it in the most efficient amount of guess. - Well don't say anything, I'll do it. I'll speed run it right now. - Okay. - It's a fun one today. I will say it's a fast track today. - All right. - So you can change. - You can change one letter. - One letter. - Okay, so you would do like, park. - Oh, okay. - Just type it. - Type park. And then you could do, pork. And then you can do, pork. - Not in word list. - Okay, so then you do pork. You took kind of a, you took an aggressive line and you did kind of a rookie move. - No, I know, I know. I play this all the time. I just, for the sake of our viewers. - Right. - Right. - So now do perp. - Perp, I mean perk, do perk. - Perk? - Yeah. Now do. - Barrow. (laughing) - Spanish poople. - Do you play the Spanish poople yet? - And now do jerk. - Jork. - And now do jork. (laughing) - No. - Now do, actually might be the first, like I might have just painted. I don't think there's anywhere that's one letter off of jerk. Oh, perk. - You already did perk. - Now do perk. - Do you work backwards? - Do you go in backwards? - Now do park. - You're gonna start over. I've done this the first time I played it. I had to go back to the start. - Now do lark. - Now do lark. - I mean this has to be infinite guesses. - You have infinite guesses, but at the end it will tell you the most efficient route to get there. I believe today was five guesses. - Now do lark. Now do lark. - There's a guy on the way to work right now and he goes, all I wanted was an hour and a half of just escaping the idea that I have to go see. I said at my fucking desk today, and you're gonna just play the poople. - Oh, I got it dark, do dark, and then dark, and then Duke. There it is, dark, dark, Duke, Duke. - The other day, the other day, I got it to shit, and I was like, that has to count, right? - Dark. - Dark. - Pork. - No, no, no, no, Duke. (laughing) Duke. Ah, I thought Duke was gonna be a word. - Yeah. - Did I tell you, we can come back to this, you can do this later. - I'll shoot down. - Cooke, cork. Cork? - Yeah, you got it. - And then Duke. - And then Duke. Let's go, Willie. - Cooke. - And then Cooke, and then poop. - Nice. Did I tell you about my khaki shorts, journey? - No, but it sounds riveting. So there I was in the first aisle of Banana Republic. - Nothing. - All shirts. - And there I am going, there is no chance. Okay. - Next aisle, all pants. - Yeah. - Can I think it, do I cut the legs out? Okay, so. - I'm gonna cut your legs out. - I think I've mentioned this as it, there are, as you know about me, there are certain things that maybe shouldn't get me as frustrated as they do, but it's where I'm at. One of those things is every clothing company in the world that used to make fucking just cotton shorts, cotton khaki shorts. Cotton candy shorts. You hear it's gonna rain, you have to start sprinting home. You jump in the, you can push in the pool and you're like, "You know they make bathing suits, like joke bathing suits that like fall off." - That's like, it feels like a crime. I think you could only do it like your dad. - No, but I mean like in public? - No, I think it's like, you, like we're having a barbecue, it's only friends and family. - And your dad's cock is out? - Yeah, I guess it's like the only people you can do it to are people's penises you wouldn't wanna see. - Who knows? - I would do it to your dad. - Oh my God. - Sorry, is he listening? - I hope not. My grandmother keeps asking me if she can listen. And I'm like, you wouldn't like me as a guy. - Yeah, I mean, yeah. But one of my qualms, my grandma's listening. - Is every cotton, every like cotton short company switched to like, at leisure, like stretchy polyester? - And nothing's just khaki anymore. It's like, it's like a Lululemon short. And like for a guy like me, that's just not gonna cut it. And so it got to the point where J Crew was the only one making the ones that I wanted. I go the other day, they don't make them anymore. They only make ones that are like fucking crazy town. So I did a little research online. I found these bad boys. Duck head. And I was like, there's like my two favorite things, duck and head. - I'm in. - And so I get them, they're a lit. They're a little, excuse me. - You got scared for audio only listeners. You got scared by a bug. - Like a gnat. - There's still a little stretchy, but generally they're exactly what I'm looking for. And I'm very excited about it. - May I? - Give 'em a tug. So you got mostly boxer there. - Yeah, that was a nice. - My boxers. Also, if anyone can find a boxer company that will cooperate with my dryer, that's, it's gotten worse. I have like one pair where the fly isn't dried open now. - And when the fly's dried up in your dongles. - My penis is complete. I don't, is this happen to anyone else? As far as I know, it might be my dryer specifically. - What does it get to hot? Does it happen to your roommates? - Does it happen to your roommates? - Peter. - Peter. - They mostly wear, they mostly wear briefs, I think. - Oh, you wear like full blown, like, I'm wearing like, un-boxers. - Old school boxes. - Yeah, yeah. - It sounds like kind of annoying. - And yeah, I would imagine. But yeah, my, I'm like getting to the point, I'm like, do I have to start wearing them backwards? That'd be kind of cool though. I wouldn't have taken my boxers off when I shit. - Huh? - Yeah. - Backwards boxers. Oh my god. - My buddy Oliver has been, the same one that swims in sharks, told me that his big life goal is to figure out a wetsuit you can poop in. - I think that'd be kind of easy. Now you can zip it up. - But if you unzip it, then it gets filled with water. - You want your wetsuit to be filled with water. That's how you stay warm. - Oh, perfect. - There's a fill of poop in the water. - Oh my god. Did you see though? - But I think when you poop, the poop wouldn't like poop out. - It just float away. If you have to be above the water. - I mean, I think you'd poop, and then you just like swish around with your hand and it would like to do the-- - I'm picture of the-- - You have to like get up on all fours on your surfboard and shit off the end. - Yeah, you're in like downward dog. You're like Oliver, no. Dude, did you see that fisherman that was fishing the other day? And he-- - I mean, it's a few by my house, but-- - So if you let me finish, he'll tell you he's fishing and like this piece of like wood, there's like perfectly round piece of wood that he's floating by. And he's one of those fishermen that like posts his content, so he's wearing a GoPro. He picks it up and he's like, what is this? It's a perfect cylinder. And he smells it and he just says, oh, you water the sand. - You look at it. - It was poop. Look up fisherman finds poop in the ocean. It is, it was the hardest I've laughed this morning. I mean, why are you picking that up? 'Cause he was like, look at this piece of wood. Yeah, I think it's gotta be this one, poop. - This is a log of some sort, some sort of shit. Oh, God. It is a perfect piece of poop, fuck. - I mean, that's insane. I thought it would look more like wood. That looks like a turd. - I love when guys just add a video of them laughing. - Yeah, I know. - If it's like, anytime you try to find a video, you end up with one of this just a guy like at the end like, dude, reacting. - It was, that was gonna be my this guy rocks today, but I couldn't find the original video. So the one I found was that video. And then at the end it was a woman being like, okay, guys, if you're in the ocean, let me know down in the comments if you're like, you're gonna pick up that piece of poop. But yeah, I mean, it's, that's a comically poop-shaped poop. - I mean, that is a, that is a, that's how Drake poops. - The only way you could be more positive that it was poop is if it was like the cartoon, like coil of poop. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, like the emoji. - How did it stay together? Is that what poop is like? - I mean, I guess maybe the surfer pooped in the ocean. - But you know what I'm saying? Like, I always assumed like if I picked up my poop, it would like disintegrate in my hands. Is it like a solid thing? - They were probably eating a lot of pizza. - Oh my God. I had a pizza last night for the (mimics beeping) - I thought you weren't allowed. - That's what I said to Jacob, 'cause I didn't, you know, I deleted postmates. - Oh really? - I deleted, I'm like, I'm trying to be, I'm trying to get out in the wild more, if I'm gonna get something I don't wanna walk to Whole Foods, I wanna see people. I'm just feeling like I'm like, I'm either here or I'm like siloed at my house watching Game of Thrones. So I'm like, when I do my walks, I go down into the busy area instead of the up part. And so I deleted postmates and I was like, fuck, I don't have anything. And he was like, you got some chicken nuggets or you have a frozen pizza. - Wait, he has a motor of your groceries? - He was over by the freezer. - That's a good, I was on the can- - You can have it. - What a good roommate. - I was on the, yeah, he like pulls out like a scroll. - Yeah, yeah. - Also, I've been eating eggs that expired like a week ago. - As long as you eat them before the hatch, I think you're from. - It's a story for another day. But he was like, you have a frozen pizza and I was like, I'm not allowed to. And he goes, why don't you have half and see how you feel? And I had half and I had a couple squirts today, but- - Yeah, but a couple squirts. I mean, that's just part for the course, bro. - I was going Squirt Omo today and- - We almost made it, we made it what, 40 minutes? - Barely, not even. - And Rick, 'cause you guys were shooting, and when you guys are shooting, Rick like stays nearby, but he's like not usually in the room. - Yeah. - He was camped out by the pooping toilets. And so he just saw me going and having like a squirt fast over like 30 seconds of the nightmare. - All right, I'm just gonna move on. Last night we had a softball game. - Can I say one more thing? There was someone commented on the last episode, maybe my favorite comment of the month. It was, I'm so excited, Jesus. I'm so excited to watch, play it during lunch. I hope they don't talk about poops made of fat. - Did we? - On accident, I think. - Feels like a new low for us? - No, no, no, there's no low. There's no low too low. We went, all right, we had a softball game. What happened to you? - You even on the team? - I retired, I retired. - Did you sign up for this team? - Yeah, I did. And the one game I showed up to is our double header. We got Mercy ruled both. - I wasn't there for that one. - I know, no you weren't. And I was like, Rick, I'm good. I'm not showing up anymore. - Well, you jump shit? - Ever since I've like not been going, they've been winning. They've been on like a hot stream. - Damn, so you're like a Jonah? - A Jonah, who's Jonah? - Hill from 200. - A Jonah is like, in like, if you, a guy was like a bad luck on a ship, they teamed him to a Jonah and they'd throw him off. Why is it called that? We can talk about something. We thought about it after. - Yeah. - Jesus is disciple. - Jonah. Jonah. - He'd stabbed him and he betrayed him, right? - That's Judas. - Oh yeah, you're right. Who was Jonah then? - Jonah, I think he's a Jewish name. - Most are. Most names are Jewish. - Jack is. - I find out you're only friends with guys named like Abraham and Ezekiel. - Yeah. - Yeah, I feel like most names are Jewish. - And Jed and I, it's only that. (laughing) - So you're at softball. - Softball last night, only eight people showed up. So certainly could've used Andrew. - What? - That's not even a full team. - Correct. And you put 10 people on the field in our blue. - So what positions did you-- - So I played-- - You played the whole outfield. - No, I played right field and second base. I played in between right field and second base. - Oh my god. - So we had, 'cause most, you know, when we would shift if there was a left hand, they only had one left hand a better. So we had like-- - So you said the legit leap, you guys have like shift shifts and stuff? - Well, because we're missing two positions. - Got it, got it. - So for right handed batters, I would, yeah, I played, like, 'cause not many people are hitting deep balls to right field. Like no one's going like, "Apo Taco on us." (laughing) - So you don't really need like right fields. I mean, I ended up having to make one play in right field and I had to sprint back from second base and catch it. - You made a great play. - It was honestly a blast. Because it was like, so where I was playing, every play had to sprint one direction or the other. - Yeah, you had to play like more base. - So I got to run so much. And then anyway, but ninth inning, bottom of the ninth or seventh, whatever, bottom of the ninth inning, I'm just gonna call it that from my sanity. We were down seven runs going to bottom of the ninth and we, bats get hot. Everyone's being smart, playing good baseball. We scored six runs. So we're down one, oh, we're down, sorry. Before that, we were down like four runs and bases loaded, I came up to the plate with two outs. - No way. - Double. - No way. - But the guy couldn't score from third. So, early stopped at third, so it was. - Why couldn't he score from this? - Well, the only reason I got to double was that they threw home and once I saw the shortstop throw home that I went to second. So there was no chance for her to score from third. - Got it. - So I was on second, heraly was on third. Nate was up. Nate took a walk to bring up our lead off batter, Tipper, who's our best hitter. - Is he a baseball game? - Yeah, Tipper's like our best player. He's our shortstop. And second. So I was the winning run on second. And he hit the ball the moment, you know, came off the bat, I sprinted, and then I heard heraly scored. I had already crossed home plate and then I heard, out, caught a fly. It was like a deep pop fly that he caught it. And so he lost on the last hit. And if we just had one more guy, we wouldn't won, but. - He was out of the playoffs now? - No, no, we're still in playoffs. I started next week. - Oh no. - I think everyone makes playoffs, all right? - What the fuck is that? - You quit our team, we were the one yesterday, we had you, and then you come in and you shit on our success. - Yeah, okay, everyone makes a playoffs. - Everyone makes playoffs. - But if everyone didn't make the playoffs, guess what, we still would have made it. - Can I say what? - I think we're like sixth. - Why do they even do the regular season? - Warm up. - Got it. - No, I mean, it's a spoiler alert. - It's fun. - The only reason anyone does any of it is fun. - Yeah. - Doesn't actually matter at all. - That's a good point. I forgot it's, I forgot it's, - It was honestly a blast yesterday, just getting to like, everyone. And because like normally people have to sit between, you know, 'cause there's too many people, those are fun. - Do you know how like, little league games now, they have those signs where it's like, parents, the coaches are volunteers, the refs are people too. No scholarships will be given out. - Is that like a Biden D, I think? - I think it's gotta be, I think, yeah. I think it's gotta be probably, I think you could probably trace it back to Biden if you went far enough down the drain. - For D, yeah. - It's kinda like how, if enough people got assassinated, the like a postman would be president. - Yeah, yeah. - Like if you go all roads lead to Biden. - I mean, I've been, - I've been sitting, I've ever made my life, if you go back far enough, Biden was the one that made the call. - I think if an umpire is being bad in your son's little league game, you should be able to throw baseball bad at his skull. (laughing) - One per, one every five years. One per child. - I tell you, my buddy got in little league, my, I believe, I can't remember if he had banned from little league or if he was just kicked out for the season, but he was like on one of the better teams and they were in like a rivalry game. I don't even know if it was playoffs. - Yeah. - But he's-- - That's rivalry games? - Like it was like the two best teams where it was like, there are two guys on this that like, you know, are like the stars. - What's sports? - Triple A baseball, we were like 11 maybe. - Was it like like heated rivalry? - It was kind of like heated rivalry. - Yeah, maybe a triple A at 11. (laughing) - He's gotta be in the league now, right? - He's yeah, I mean, yeah, that would be crazy. He slid into third, they called him out, he unscrewed the third base and either, I can't remember if he threw it at the ref or if he threw it at the other coach. (laughing) - It was fun. - It was honestly, one of those things were like, obviously you can't do that like whatever. Usually when you're like, heat of the moment, that mad, like you throw like, you're helmet or something like that. Like, to get third base out of the ground, especially at like 11 years old, I think takes like some effort. I'm like, the average person I think would probably calm down by the time like it didn't come out the first time. - Yeah, you got like one gram in your head. - Well, I mean, reminds me of, it's very butchops and acts. - Who's butchops? - You know my morning soul is based, but Google butchops. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, we need to held it above his head. - Who's there that like got the steel record? - No, no, no. - Done anytime soon. So, Hobson has been ejected from the game here tonight. And now butchopson is walking over towards third. They keep our eye on butch and he's gonna pull that bag out and there goes the bag. What's he gonna do with this? The Hobson may just take the bag with him. Well, he should throw in that garbage can that you're still down here from last night. - He's like this announcing. - He gives it to a fan. - He's gonna give it to a kid. He just gave it the third base bag to a kid. - Is that awesome? - What, what league was that? - I don't care. - This actually was after, so he was the Lancaster Barnstormers manager growing up. And he had done this. He did this as a Barnstormers manager. This is not for the Barnstormers. So this is a repeat offense. - Wait. He's done this multiple times. - It's like his move. - Yeah, I guess so. - Do you think like, do you think like that was maybe his final game? And it was such an iconic moment when he did it for the Barnstormers that the ump was like, butch in the sixth inning. I'm gonna throw you out, grab the base, give it to a fan. - I think he did it once and he just did a bence along. He was like, "Itchin." (laughing) It's like, you know, with the double bang for Mike's brain or whatever. - Yeah, yeah. - It's like once in a one seven or ten years. - You know he wants to do it every time, but you have to be selective to make it fun. - What did he do for the, he did it in the next game. - Did he? - In the double bang, it was like a triple something else. - Oh, I don't know. - Like he like put some flare points. It was, I think, on the like, put back from OG. - He went, "Oh, oh mama, oh mama, oh mama, the triple, oh mama." - Anyway, yeah. Wait, look at Barnstormers. Can you go to that same Google search and then just add Barnstormers? - What it's like when you go to videos, there's like a hundred. - No, just add the word Barnstormers. - But that second one, I think he did it a third time. I think he did it this year. I think he did it in March. - Go to the third one, go to the second video. I think he's like his thing. - Oh yeah, that's. - With the third base and Hobson's been ejected by Darryl Cooper. And now he'll get his money as worth as he's out there. - We have to grab the bat from Edwin Arroyal. Oh, he's gonna take some hacks in the box. - He grabbed the bat, protected it at home, bro. - I thought the check swing was really about. - And then he ran the bases. - Oh, here goes Haapsey. He's gonna hit a home run and. - Wait, this guy's gonna take the sky on the base. - It's insanity keeps getting job. Like in baseball, you can just do stuff like, like any other context, it's like, oh, this guy's having a mental breakdown. - Oh, he's running the bases right now. He's like one by, he's like a hundred. - Yeah, wait, that is so, it's like this is like completely standard base. - He's gonna get a, he's gonna get a handshake too from the third base coach. Why not? Like, 'cause my hard-hide five, and it hurts the same. - Maybe they get, but he keeps getting job. - Oh, he's gonna, - He's like an attraction. They're like, "Bush my lose it today." - That count is a run, but he'll point to the sky and butchers as himself a home run. - All right. - And imaginary one at that, but. - And imagine. - All right, anyway, butchers. - We gotta get him on the podcast. - The thing with Butchers and, and why he probably keeps getting jobs. - Yeah. - Did you see how fired up all the guys in the dugout? Where like, if you're a little league team, you just want a storyline. - Right. - You just want a headline, right? Like, that's in the newspaper the next day. - Oh, he's a little league coach. - He's all little league teams. - What? - I thought this was like the miners. - Sorry, sorry, miner league. - Oh my god, I was definitely like a doll too. - Sorry, sorry, I meant miner league. Not little league, not little league. I meant if you're a miner league team. - Yeah. - Wait, those guys are miners? - Those are all miners team. - The, - What are they doing? - I bet any of those guys, if Bush hops in like a former player of Bush hopsons would go to bat firm like bail amount of jail. Like he like they were fired up when he did that. Like no one's like mad at him. - Yeah. - He definitely has the locker room. - He totally, and I, yeah, it's selling tickets in their mind. Do you think bad pedophiles get sent down to the miners? (laughing) The emergency thing on my phone, my laptop! My phone! Oh my god, the comedic timing. I think I somehow clicked that button five times. [Laughter] Oh my god, how did that even happen? Oh, you're making sure you didn't call the emergency. If you run the line with 911, that'll time. Sure, what is your emergency? Do you think pedophiles get sent down to the miners? Yes, I do. I'm not going to say that. That noise was like. I thought you had one of those siren apps and you were waiting for a good line to be like, "What about my phone?" No, I was just fiddling with my phone. I think I accidentally clicked. Oh my god, my chest hurts. Emergency SOS initiated. Holy fuck. The side of volume, but it's. One time we were partying in college and my girlfriend at the time accidentally did that and it called all her loved ones. Really hammered and we step aside and you're like, "I'm okay, dad. I'm okay, grandpa. I'm okay, great." All right, I'm going to go to the bathroom. That was insane. Oh my god. Calling, using the feature to call all your family and friends to tell them how good of a time you're having. Holy shit. That was all time. I am so excited for Will to be able to see the World Cup on Friday. Nambinam. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Nambinam. I'm going to go to the soccer game and see the US play thinks of Seekyke. Which is why we wanted to give the sponsor of today's video Seekyke a huge shout out with over 35 million downloads. Seekyke is the number one, not number two, not number three, not even number four. The number one in the world bar none ticketing app in the world. There are more than 70,000 events listed on Seekyke. I'm talking concerts. I'm talking sports festivals and more. There are so many artists going on tour right now. I'm talking Bruno Mars, Zarlars and Lady Gaga, Cardi B, Chris Stapleton. I don't know who that is. Luke Combs, BTS, Ariana Grande and of course the men's national team. Guys, the US is hosting the World Cup. I'm going. You should too. Grab your tickets now. I love using Seekyke and let me tell you, I use, I put that crap on everything. Even geek maxing. I've been geek maxing. Guess what else I got tickets to? Kid Cuddy and Big Boy on Friday. If it's all right, I'm on a geeky. Would you own it? The concert season is right around the corner to make it even better. You can use code Playdate10 for 10% off your Seekyke tickets. That's 10% off tickets with promo code Playdate10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account. So you can use it later. Thank you Seekyke. [GIGGLING] I am feeling like a dog and I think it's because I got that dog in me guys. I am so, so excited about mug root beer and working with them. And I'm so stoked to tell you this episode is brought to you by mug root beer. I mean, my, when did you last have a root beer? Tell me. How long ago did we start recording? One minute. One minute ago. That is amazing. I had one, one hour ago. Guys, this episode is brought to you by mug root beer indulge in the creamy vanilla flavor of your childhood with this nostalgic soda. Soda, sorry. I was just thinking about the meth so much. - It does. - She may guarantee to help you let out your inner dog. - Guys, my favorite flavor and I believe Willis too is the mug zero. It's the same fantastic mug taste, but with zero sugar. - Yeah. - Guys, next time you're craving something cold and frothy. Crack open a mug, group beer. Just take it from Wansoda. Sorry, just take it from Wansoda. What were you saying Wansoda? I love mug group beer. Find mug group beer at your local store, head to www.muggroupear.com/fuck. Find mug to find out how you can get your paws on some mug and be sure to throw them. I'll follow online @muggroupear. Let's get back into the episode. Self-conscious male porn star. Does his ass make my balls look big? That'd be a good thing, right? If you're a ball, our big ball's good. - Mm. I hope so. - I've been riding this way for a second now. - I've been a lied too. - If they aren't, I need to see a doctor, immediate. - I need to see a doctor, doctor now. How did you not sit on your balls more? I was thinking about it the other day. It was like, if I, not that I'm doing this very often, but like, you know what you're getting on a horse and you like jump on the, get down and you kind of plop down. Like how did Calboys not sandwich their balls 24/7? - Well, Calboys have to tape up. They tape them like over their shaft. No, they tape the shaft and balls all. They tape it up onto their backboard. - Backboard. - Is that the area between your belly button and your penis? - Okay. - Or the half of that area closer to your penis, I would say. - What's this right where your belt stops? - Ran. - I don't know how to see it. - Dude, someone was telling me, oh, so I'm golfing on Sunday. And we like see this guy drive by and he's on a different hole. And one of our buddies was like, dude, this guy, this guy gives people like the craziest nicknames. I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, he calls my dad rimshot. I was like, why? And I don't even know if we can keep this in. He was saying, I regret bringing this up. This definitely can't stay in. He was saying, he was saying. (upbeat music) - What, why do you hang out with this guy? Cut that. - All right, just bleep it and just show the disgust on my face. - But keep that the nickname is rimshot. - Yeah. - Isn't that interesting? - Yeah. And that guy was in Steely Dan? - Yeah. He was Dan. - Wow. - Yeah. - Andrew immediately knew I had been distracted by the Steely Dan thing on the screen. - Do you know when you, do you ever laugh so hard that you like lose energy? After that alarm thing, I'm like exhausted. - Should we warm up it up? - Sure. - Sure. - Sure, sure. - All right, we got a beautiful episode for you guys today. We are going to hear your pitch followed by our pitches. Then we are gonna do this guy rocks. Teach me something. We are gonna do slang words that don't exist and country songs that don't exist. All right, Andrew, can I just say before you read this, I've been seeing some comments. People want you to pick from the names that are available to us. You can't be and. - That's so interesting to me. Why are people up in arms about that? - I will say, I don't know. I think people just like, there needs to be some rules here, man. We're not this, this isn't the fucking Wild West. - Imagine this is the Wild West. You're like, what the fuck is all these cameras? - Where am I? This is the nicest house ever. It's not even dusty. - Sorry. - Hi, bubbles, blossom and buttercup. - Bugs. - I'm going to use these guys and your bubbles, blossom and buttercup. - Deal. - Wait, what am I then? - Your cap. Your bubble club. - Bubble clump, bubble clump. - Everyone sing the song. - You're watching, I should already go. - That's gonna be, no, is that a real thing? - Mm-hmm. - That's how it is. - Wait, what were those fucking fuck-ass guys I used to watch with my buddy, Owen? - Jesus Christ, man. - Cousetal down. - They were like big, - Teletubbies? - No, they were kind of like Teletubbies, but they were like, sketchier. - I feel like you're thinking of like the thumbs from Spikids. - No. - That needy show. - Can you, they're like, boogas or blue gas or boogles. - Can you Google child kids show kind of like Teletubbies? - Was this like you didn't have Kate like because your mom took away a cable, this was like, - No, no, I think we liked it. - Oh, booblaw. - Oh, booblaw. - Boo-baw, yeah. - Actually. - What did they do? - Actually, I think this might have been it. - I would be shocked if it wasn't. - Is it? Did I ever tell you this story when I was a Teletubbie for Halloween? - Mm-mm. - Andrew, you heard this? - I think you said on the podcast. - Fuck or something. - Yeah, that's a great story. - Oh my God. - Yes, the crime. - Oh, no. - Yeah, you've told the story on that. - You mean, fuck. Awesome story. - Yeah, I think I might have been these, boobaw. - Yeah. - Were you like a boobaw for Halloween one year? - No. - Oh, Sarah Palin one year. - That's my favorite costume of all time. I can see Russia from my house. All right. I'll see you with Catherine. - What's the worst part about chopping stuff with a knife? - Worry about cutting your hand. - That's right. When everything sticks to the knife and you have to move it with your fingers and then the knife on the cutting board to get the stuck food off. - That's a good, I didn't even say that. That's like one of those inconveniences that I noticed, but I'd never think about. - Like yeah. - Introducing magnet knife. The magnet knife will solve all your shopping problems by doing what magnets do, but for fruits and vegetables and other food, instead of a regular knife that attracts the food to the knife like a regular magnet to a regular magnet, magnet knife is reverse polarized. So it works like when two magnets don't like each other, but for food, it repels the food and does not stick to the side of the knife so you can chop everything in half the time. Thanks for your consideration, sharks. Keep up the good work. - I like this. As the sharks, it is our job to point out any potential legal problems. I'm worried if I was trying to cut something and it's not going towards the knife, I'd be pushing too hard and then I'd slip and cut my hand. - Maybe there's a button where it repels food after. - Oh yeah. - You can turn it on and off 'cause if I'm trying to get it towards the food and it won't go, - It only repels like when you don't want it to. Or when you want it to. - Yes, yeah, yeah. - I mean, it's like a mental thing if you're thinking about like repel, then it repels. - Yeah. - It's like connected to your brain. - I like that. - All right, what's the worst part about peeing? What's the worst part about being done with peeing? - As a boy. - Takes forever to wipe. - As a boy, Andrew, what's the worst part? - You got to shake it at the end. - Got to shake it at the end 'cause if you don't, you put it back in your pants and there's like another ounce and a half of peeing there. You peel every pants. It's a machine. It's, you know, somewhere you can mount it wherever you want but, you know, every bathroom has the plunger and the brush and the toilet paper. Now, you also have a machine on the wall. You put your penis inside of it and it like vigorously shakes all the pee off it, right? What's the one flaw with that? You would get a little rose. - Guys would try and fuck it. Guys would try and fuck that thing. If it senses any blood flowing down there, it clamps down as hard as it can until you're not horny. - What if that makes it a horny? - Yeah, I guess if you, if that's something, like if you're one of those guys that's into like, compression, like those guys that get into, you see those suits, those leather suits guys get into and they like vacuum all the air out. - Yeah, yeah. - Like if those guys probably stay away from this thing. - Wait, what? - For sex? - You never see, pull up, pull up like, - You're gonna fall like going to space. - Guy getting vacuumed into leather suit. - It is like unbelievable. - And he goes to space then? - No. - No, he's earthbound. - Yeah, it's like these guys. - All right, now we gotta, unfortunately, we have to look up the kinky. It's closest to, you get the dress. - Oh, good. - It's like, I just don't understand like, listen, I've been horny but like. - Right. - There's a point at which if I was in the middle of doing this, I'd be like, what the hell? - How do you find out you're into that? - How do you get that far in while still being horny? - The real, yeah. - Like if I like see like a bird out my window, I don't like go away. - Yeah, yeah, I feel like turn the TV off. - Yeah. - If I get to, if I get to, - Okay Kendrick, turn that TV off, turn that TV off. Turn that TV off. - I think the answer, unfortunately, to how guys end up like that is probably like something horrible happened. - In their life. - It doesn't have to be horrible. - Definitely. - Definitely a trauma. - It could be medium. - No guy who like, coasted through the first 18 years of life without anything going wrong is doing that. Die, think. - Maybe they've had a really good life and so they've had the opportunity to explore these things without feeling, if there was anything wrong with it. - Yeah, maybe they were into a girl that was in like a biker gang and she wore a lot of leather. - Yeah, but I think it's more about the compression. Like they like being like tight. - Yeah. - Oh god. - It's like my worst nightmare. - Do you think any playmates do that? - What was the answer? - Oh, they put your dick in that thing. Okay. Here's a question. What's the worst part? - Wait, that was your impression of like, your kid after having the talk. Like he wasn't listening to you. - What were you doing? - Oh, you put your dick in the, yeah. - Put your dick in the thing. - Okay, what's the worst part about a record player? - Unlike a playlist to skip to the ones that you do like you gotta like manually pick the needle up and like put it on that thing. - Yeah. - Yeah, it runs out. - Can't take it on the go. Okay. - Like it. - Problem no more. Okay. It is a baseball cap with a bill that it holds a record on its bill and little wires that go right near you. So it's got a huge front bill, the size of a record player. And you just put the record on the bill of your hat and you can go on a walk and listen to a record. - Love it. I actually think that'd be cool. - Yeah. - And we're, we don't want to experiment with maybe, like it couldn't be like a CD player. - What is it, 2008? - I love it, man. I'm worried, I'm worried about like the kind of strain on your neck. But other than that, I think it's a pretty sound idea. - Okay, you're right, counterbalance. There's a rim on the back that has another record. - Yeah, in case, and then you can switch. - Yep, the needle goes like, like a drop rate. (whistling) - Trudy, this guy rocks. - You spin my hair around, right around. - Okay, this guy rocks. This guy rocks. This guy rocks today. Hey, hey, I said, this guy rocks and he rocks so hard. He rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard. - There's rocks in my yard? - Okay, so, you know how we all, people always ask. They're like, how did you, how did the bloody Mary come about? Who invented the mimosa? - Sure. - Whatever, we now, via John Forest Little, have the opportunity to see perhaps the next great cocktail. - Great. - How it was made on the day he made it, and this is him explaining maybe how it's going. - Right now it looks like he put a dead plant in a beer. - I believe I invented a product by putting this jalapeno inside a blue corn logger here in the Fort Corners area. It's been in there for over 20 minutes and note the chemical reaction. This is live here in the Fort Corners area. Not live, but okay. Just remember, inventions begin by accidents. For example, penicillin was like mold on cheese or mold on something. Anyway, thank you, thank you. Children with high IQs tend to be high strong. - And I win again. I believe I invented a product. - This guy is the fucking name. - That is like when we started this guy rocks. - That's what it's all about. - I was picturing this video and just had to wait for it to come out. I knew one of these days it was gonna come down the line. I'm actually like, I was actually taking a sip, it kinda looks like him. Yeah, I think he might be honest. - He's honest. - And also the fact that it's still like moving, like the seeds are like flying around the glass. He didn't stir it. The seeds are naturally like, wow, like tumbling in there. - It's the fact that it's been sitting there for 20 minutes. That was a little bit of a turn off. - Yeah, you know what I'm just noticing now? - I thought he was maybe like in his house, he's at a Mexican restaurant. Can you hear the music in the background? And that's clearly, that's a functioning bar behind him. - Yeah, I mean, that's kind of, I thought it was a bar. - Oh, you thought it was. - I just thought like, he's just, he's been sitting there for 20 minutes he hasn't taken one sip. Yeah, and I have the same question. - What is this thing? - I don't know. - I don't know what that's. - That's not jalapeno. - That is the thing. - I mean, based off of everything else that he told us in that video, there's a world he might have been mistaken about what a jalapeno is. - Yeah. - But I don't know. - I still wanna try it. - I bet it's good. - All right. - It's like a spicy mark. - Yeah, I bet it's, I honestly bet it's delicious. All right, ready this guy? Let's just say, it's gonna remind you of someone. - But yours are always like, like set in like diners. - I think you're on like diner. - You must remove from your home if you want harmony, clarity and true prosperity. Listen closely because your environment shapes your destiny. One, remove fights and constant arguments. A home filled with conflict cannot grow. Chaos destroys peace, unity and abundance. - He has it all memorized. - You need to agree on everything. But you do need calm, respect and emotional maturity. A divided home is already defeated. Two, remove complaining. Complaints attract scarcity. When you focus on what's missing, you become blind to everything you already have. Gratitude opens the door to abundance. Complaining slams it shut. Three, remove laziness. People want a better life, but refuse to do the work that creates it. Laziness steals opportunity. - For the audio as long as it's been. - It might sound like it's a white guy on a podcast. It is a black guy in the craziest outfit I've ever seen with the biggest company world. - I mean, that is like textbook. - When I say I'm just having one glass tonight. - Clouds your thoughts and pushes prosperity away. - Is he trying to voice what the guy is saying? - Yeah, I think he's just mimicking peace. - And peace, the triathlon. - There is sometimes where he comes to most important. - Yeah. - A harmonious home. - I think there's a world where he recorded a separate video and it did that thing where it adds a lot. - The sound before things check his work. - Move from your home if you want harmony. - Okay, clarity. - That's true. - It's almost over. - Listen closely. Four things you must move from your home. - I have one note and one note only. - Other than that, I think. Other than that, I think he's spot on. Yes. - Remind me of him? - Reminds me of I'm sitting right next to him. He goes chaos destroys the home or something. We see some pretty chaotic guys on a day to day basis. That might be the most chaotic. - I think that's a classy motherfucker. - You think he's inflow state? - I don't know. - This is exactly how waterburger is anytime after. - It was the add of waterburger? - No, but it looks like a waterburger. - This is exactly how it is after 10 pm at any location. - I could buy that. - How much do you think that drink cost? - Hundreds of dollars. - Right? - Has to. - Let's see, brought it from my home. - Can you look at this guy's profile? - That's just orange fresh. - I'm saying it weird, right? - I'm saying profile weird. - Oh, he's got other cups too. - Oh my god, he's like Mr. Cupman. Is that like his calling card? Is that he has like crazy cup? - Oh yeah, we click on that one and get it. Go up, the one that has 100,000. - Four things you must remove from your home if you want harmony, clarity and truth. - I get rid of it. - Listen closely. - Oh my god, that's awesome. - Okay, do you guys want to hear my teach me something? - Yes. - This is, I'm giving credit to a fellow by the name of Chris Williamson. - Okay. - I saw a clip of him talking about this story and it was cracking me up today. It's right up our alley. I saw this and I got, I almost wanted to send it to you guys early. I was like, you know what, patience, let's save it. - It's true. - It is the perfect play date story. - Okay. - Tommy McEw is a 51 year old guy. He's a British guy. He lives in Liverpool and when he was pooping, he was pushing so hard that he suffered a brain hemorrhage and when he collapsed, he tried to like pull his pants up and through that strain, had a second brain hemorrhage and here is the result. He goes and he has an emergency surgery and when he wakes up from the coma, he has a hyper creative form of a acquired savant syndrome. He's not a savant. He pooped himself so hard, he's a savant. Now you're thinking, what does that mean? The sudden intense pressure from straining had ruptured blood vessels on both sides of his brain altering his frontal and temporal lobes. This essentially disabled like the filters in his brain allowing him to perceive and process vast amounts of unfiltered raw sensory data. So you're like, what does that fucking mean? Before he got in the incident, he had never painted. He had never written poetry. He was like, was not like an artsy guy. He was like, he was actually like a criminal. This story. After waking up, this is a quote from the article written about him. After waking up, his head was flooded with rhymes. Apparently he couldn't, he was just rhyming constantly and he had these visions of geometric shapes and numbers sprouting from trees. He began writing poetry and painting obsessively spending up to 18 to 19 hours a day filling his apartment walls, floors and ceilings with elaborate, expressive art. The trauma had altered his personality. He went from a violent ex-con and former drug addict into a deeply empathetic and emotional man who was entirely incapable of violence. Like the guy who I heard this clip was, they were like, he was worried about like stepping on like bugs and stuff. Like he like, like wouldn't hurt anything. He shit himself so hard, it became like the best guy ever. That's the dream. That's crazy. I mean, you'd think the way I be shit and I'd be fucking hercules by now, damn. After the squirt fest I've had to damn shock I'm not like Mahatma Gandhi. Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi slept with. - So journey. - Yeah, true. Not like, not in the sexual, he would like make 14 year old girls sleep and he's about to test his patience. He's like, why is that? That's your crepto night? - I'd be like, if I slept in bed with like a de jour now. To prove I was like the best guy at all. - That's awesome. - Are you wearing my teeth? - The dolly llama made out with kids too. - You know what I'm saying again? - Was I with telling you guys that the dolly llama found that kid in Minnesota? Who's like gonna be the next one? - He saw this random kid in Minnesota. It was like, he's like, your god. And now the kid lives in fucking India and is like, studied to be a monk. - Did you know that Flambus McCool never left his house before the anarchist-- - You were the fungiest Flambus McCool. - He was the first guy to reach the South Pole. - Is that like common knowledge? - Yeah. - But before he had never left like his own property before he went on the expedition and article. - Where was his property? - In like Western Ireland on the Dingo Peninsula. - Oh, Dingo's where the fucking dolphin is. - Yeah, Fungi. - Yeah, Fungi. - Yeah, Flambus McCool had never left his house and then the first time he went to the South Pole. - Yeah. - Oh my god. - I mean, he went to London and then immediately was recruited to go on this trip and then he ended up being the first guy where he saw the-- - That is unbelievable. - That's like how it-- - It's made up. You got Flambus McCool. I will say this, there was a real guy named Tom Kreen. - Good boy. - He like only left his house before he went to the North Pole. - He could have never been to the South Pole. - He could have been the first guy to be the South Pole. He was from the Dingo Peninsula and he turned around to like save people's lives. Like a mile from the South Pole. Put South Pole or Antarctica. - Yeah. - Oh my god. He looks like the afterthought. He was 168 miles away. - And like his buddies were in trouble. - And he got sent back to like get help. - What year was it? - Yeah. - What year was it? - I don't know. - Wait. - That's him. - He looks like the afterthought. Have you seen that guy who got a lobotomy and they do like the before and after photos? - Oh yeah. - And then the after one, he looks like super cool and he's smoking a cigar. - Oh no, really? - Yeah, like a good little before and after lobotomy photo cigar. I've been taught, this is the third time I've talked about this guy this week. It must be like on the top of my brain. - Have you ever seen the photo of like a habitual master, baby? - Yeah, the bottom one. Like just, yeah, any of those work. So before he's like angry and then after. - He's like chilling. - All the comments when I saw this were like, this would make me want one. Apparently it's kind of sad. Apparently the reason they put a cigar in his mouth is he couldn't close his mouth. So they were like, it'll look cooler if he has a cigar in. Lovely. (sighs) All right, should we do slang words that don't exist or country songs that don't exist, will they? - Sling words and country songs. - These are more slang words that don't exist. A spoke. That's someone who's just, they're just kind of a long for the ride. They're not, they're just kind of another spoke on the wheel, then I'll really add anything to the equation. He's kind of a spoke. - What are we doing tonight? I'm a spoke tonight, dude. - Yeah, whatever you guys want to do, I'm just a spoke tonight. - I like that. Full glass. Someone who you can't trust with a secret 'cause you know they're gonna spill it. So you're gonna be like, dude, don't tell him that he's a full glass. - That's good. - Thank you. - Goggle. This is a guy you can see right through. (laughs) Oh my God. Oh, your surprise he's doing that, dude. He's a total Goggle. - Yeah. - I like that. Draw. I actually think I'm gonna use this one. When you're in an argument, if like, you're not making any progress, they're not making any progress, they're not gonna see your point of view. You just be like, all right, draw. I'm done with this. - Yep. (upbeat music) - Which of course means. - You're gonna have to say it. - No, 'cause that's it. - Goes as that thing. - And you'll bleep all that in the end. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That was the point. Splinter, someone who's annoying and hard to get rid of. - Yep. - You would be like, no matter what I do, I can knock it rid of this guy. He's a total splinter. - Yep. - All right, should we do country songs? - I ran out of time, so I'm gonna be ad-libbing these. - Okay. - Improbbing a few. These are more country songs that don't exist. If I could sleep with my Jeep, it's about a guy who's dating all the wrong women and he's having all these troubles in his love life and he's talking about how easy life would be if he could just sleep with his Jeep 'cause it never lets him down. - If hay bales were gay bales and he says, if hay bales were gay bales, I'd be the gayest boy in town. (laughing) - I don't like that. Concrete Cowboy, it's about a country boy move into the city. - Yep. - No grass around, he's having trouble adjusting to city life 'cause he can't, there's no where for him to graze. - I like that tractor location. (laughing) He's like, my buddy asked if I tractor location, I said, I'm only worried about my tractor location. - That's fantastic. You want to hear about War Back Home or these jeans get me laid. War Back Home? Because I have less of an idea of where that one's going. War Back Home. War Back Home. It's about a soldier who is about to get sent home for some R&R and he's fighting in the Middle East but he's like, his marriage at home is on the rocks and so he knows that even when he gets back he's going to have to fight for love. Horse. Cowboy. Horse. Beer. Cowboy. And a little bonus one, these jeans get me laid. I was just laughing about the idea of a country guy who every time he wears this one pair of jeans he gets asked and he can't figure out what about the jeans. And in terms of it's just a statistical anomaly. That's awesome. All right. We love you guys. Excellent week. I'm just so proud to be a planet. We'll see you on Wednesday. Come on buddy. Love you.