Hello and welcome to the inner work conversation, I am Nikki Cross and today I want to talk to you about the inner work project
I have created this episode that you're going to hear today with the objective and intention to give you the information that you need to make an informed decision about whether this is right for you or not.
And you will hear my feelings about that towards the end of made a few notes that I'm working off.
So if it sounds more structured it is literally so that I don't miss anything off.
So let's get into it, shall we? Shall we? Let's get into it.
So let's talk about who the inner work project is actually for.
I'm going to get into the nuts and bolts of it, but listen along and it will help you to self assess.
The inner work project is actually for the person who is very self-aware.
Your life and business or career might actually be really fucking good.
You could continue exactly as you are and right there is almost the problem.
This work, it's not necessarily work for someone who feels like their life is falling apart.
Actually, it's more so for people who feel like their life and business is actually fine.
You've got the career or the business, you've got responsibilities that you've worked hard to have.
You might have the financial security that you've wanted. Basically from the outside, it probably looks like there's nothing wrong.
It probably looks like you're fucking killing it, to be honest.
Because nothing is wrong forcing you to change, it is incredibly easy not to.
Like you've heard in part one where I was talking about how it was really hard to make the change to the inner work club and then transition into the inner work project
because there wasn't anything wrong with it.
That's the biggest problem.
When there's nothing really glaringly obvious, wrong with something, nothing's on fire, no one's unhappy.
But actually you know there is a niggle and as much as you try to avoid it, that niggle becomes unavoidable.
It can play out in different ways. For some people it's like it could be I'm not really sure what I want.
Maybe more I've got myself to this point and this is great but I'm ready for my next evolution.
But I'm not sure what that looks like or it might be actually I know exactly what I want but I'm frustrated with myself because I'm still not acting in alignment with that.
Maybe it's a mix of the two for you.
It could be for you that you're still operating from an identity that you've outgrown and you know it.
It might be for you that everyone and everything keeps getting your attention before you do.
But the problem is inevitable, six months go by, a year goes by.
And what I want to say before I say anything else is if you do not do this work, nothing glaringly obviously dramatic will probably happen.
That is actually the problem.
Life carries on.
You keep what's the word that I want to use self betraying you keep self abandoning you keep abandoning the boundary you keep saying I'll make a change when things calm down you keep wondering is this actually what I want.
If it is why on I take an action to water.
There are so many justifications that sound reasonable and even just as fact in your own head of why you haven't created the change that you want to make.
And you're having the same conversations with yourself and eventually over time the bigger danger is that you stop seeing what you want as something you can actually change.
And you start believing maybe this is just who I am.
Maybe maybe I'm just not someone capable of having a life like that or create in a business like that or whatever it is for you.
Some of you might already know if you're listening to this live I only have six spaces left.
So this is capped because because it's so intimate and the work that I'm doing with you is direct sorry.
It's capped the number of spaces available are capped and it will launch in September January and May every single year so it's not your only opportunity to do it.
But if you are someone who is thinking I want to do that but it might just not be the right time for me yet.
Here's what I want to say to you.
And you may have heard this analogy before so just indulge me.
I believe that our lives imagine your life like a big gorgeous leather bound book and every single page in that book represents a year of your life.
And on every single page there is already writing in permanent ink you don't get to know what that is until you turn the page.
And in that permanent ink is the circumstances of your life.
It's the things that happen. It's the responsibilities. It's the reality.
Some of that permanent ink will be absolutely incredible.
Oh my god, I can't believe something like that would happen to someone like me. How amazing.
Some of that permanent ink will be fucking awful and you will have no control over any of that that is just the way it is.
But then on each page there is also blank space and that blank space on each page is yours, yours to fill, yours to write the story of your fucking life.
And in that blank space it gets filled up with your decisions with what gets your yes, what gets your no, what you prioritize, what you stop doing, what you start doing, what you pursue, what you stop avoiding.
How you spend your life is basically in that blank space and the choices you make is what's going to be in that writing.
And that right there is the bit that I am interested in.
The inner work project essentially is about stopping, looking at where you're at properly, assessing what it is that you actually want, what have you outgrown, what is influencing the choices you're making currently, what you avoid and what is getting in the way between you and what you say that you want.
Where are old fears, beliefs, expectations, old versions of yourself, still making decisions and from that understanding, from that deep level of understanding phase two, I'll talk to you about the mechanics in a minute, phase two is okay, good, now we know.
Now we've looked at everything that you've been not willing to look at, what are we going to do with that, that's the work.
So I'm going to address a few things as I go, just I've been voicing over with people, there's been questions that I've been asked that I've said I've promised I'm not going to get back to you individually, I'll put it all on the podcast so that everyone can benefit from these questions being answered.
But one of the one of the things I think would be a question that I would have definitely if I was considering doing this work is why don't I just just do it on my own.
And actually to answer that question, I'm going to tell you how this is different from how I used to run this work in the inner work club, when I used to run this work.
So to be clear, this is not a new service that I've just conjured up, this is work that I've been forming over the last five years.
The biggest difference is the format of delivery and that is important because when I used to run this work in the inner work club, you used to, by the way, I should mention, it's not a series of workshops, by the way, where you learn stuff, it's not that.
The actual material that you go through, your own answers is the material of this program, just to put that out there. So when people used to go through it in the inner work club, they would be guided through each workshop, but then they would fill in a form to capture their answers.
And I would not be there to challenge them, I would not be there with my eyes on their work to say, hey, I'm spotting a limit in belief there, or hey, I think that you'll be an intentionally vague to avoid what you really want.
I wasn't at that wasn't a service that I offered in the inner work club, and that right there is why I've made the change because when you do this work on your own, think about it, right. Self awareness does not, it's great.
Self awareness is great. You being aware of your own shit is fantastic, but it does not make you objective about yourself.
You can journal, you can think, you can reflect, you can be so self aware, but ultimately you've got to realize you're using your own brain to examine the thoughts created by your own brain.
We cannot always see our own shit. Our avoidance can sound perfectly reasonable to us.
Factual, our limit in beliefs can sound like facts, our fears can sound like practicalities, our old identity, who we don't want to be anymore, but we just are, can just feel like that's just who I am.
And that's where I come in. That is where the inner work project is different because it's delivered into phases and at the end of phase one to unlock phase two, my eyes go on your submission.
Again, I'll talk about the mechanics in a minute, but that is the key difference. I am not wanting to teach you. I am not wanting to give you more information, more things to think about, more things to be self aware about.
I want to look at your work and say, hang on a minute, can you see that that's how you hang on a minute, you actually mean that hang on a minute, I think that you're playing safer.
I can see what you can't because you're inside it, but also I'm really fucking good at that, that's my area of expertise.
In fact, I was going, I would go as far as to say, the mind.
My actual design, as in Jean-Key's human design, is actually, it equips me for this work.
So many of you have heard me talk about this work being a little bit like a phoenix and
the fact that it sounds glamorous, doesn't it, like, evolution and rising from the ashes.
Actually, it feels like shit.
One of my client of mine, we joke because in one of my voice notes, I said to her, "Oh,
yeah, it's like, come and do this work with me."
Like shit. But it's intentional shit, right? It's not, you know what I was talking about
this in the book Club of the other day. I think there's two types of discomfort. One is the
discomfort of avoidance. The other is the discomfort of intentional growth. And it's
in that discomfort where I want to support you, I want to meet you. I think it's very easy
to go through life, just go in with the motions. Everything's so busy, I'll get around to it,
I'll get around to it. And we had our true selves out of fear.
We tell ourselves lies, we make excuses to avoid the discomfort, to avoid being vulnerable,
to avoid walking intentionally on purpose towards what it is that we actually want. And
actually, getting intimate with yourself, it sounds like this lofty vague idea, but all
it really is, is letting your barriers down just enough to know that actually, if I'm honest
with myself about what I want, I can handle the discomfort of the gap between what I say
I want and where I am now, I can handle that discomfort. And it's through this work
that you build that trust with yourself. I know that because I facilitated it with other
people and with myself. It's through this work that you build the resilience and the ability
to trust yourself in the uncertainty, in the adversity, in the moment where you are now,
honest with yourself, you're taking steps towards what you want and all of your old shit
comes roaring back or back at you. All of the reasons that you used to use come back.
And they're in that moment, that is the work. That is the work. So how does this all actually
work? Let's talk about the mechanics. Okay, so essentially you join. And I've talked
about it being eight weeks long. That is actually a lie. It's not, it's ten weeks, but it's
not, it's not ten full weeks of work. And it's not a week by week. I would say if I was
to try and put a guess on it, the absolute, if you really took your time, the absolute
most amount of time that you will be spending on yourself is about two hours a week. Now
before any of you say, well, I'm not sure I've got time for that. I'm going to address
all of that at the end of the episode. And I'm not here to convince you for this work.
You have got to want to do this work. I am not going to convince you to do it. But when
it comes to investing that time in yourself, I'll simply say this. I want you to think
about the amount of time energy that you actually waste being dishonest with yourself, avoiding
your own shit, sweeping things under the rug and wondering why it's lumpy, trying your
best to navigate through life and business with a lumpy rug, wondering why it's so hard
to hoover it to metaphor, wondering why it's so hard for you to make progress in business.
It's so hard for you to stop procrastinating. And that, that right there, is when people
say to me, I'm not sure about the time aspect. I'm like, cool, you don't actually mean that
because if you knew the result of this work, you would know it's not just going to save
you time, it's not just going to save you energy. It's actually going to help you to
evolve through some of the shit, the hold you back and take your time unproductively now.
Anyway, it's not eight weeks, it's 10. Here's why the first week, the first week is actually
an onboarding week where I am actually doing work on you. So I produce what's called an
inner compass document. I basically get information about you and I produce you a personal compass
document that basically brings you back to who you are in depth on the inside, the true
version of you at your core. I use modalities for that. I use jinkies, I use human design,
but essentially you don't need to worry about what those things are. I just produce this
document for you that helps you to understand who you are at a really deep level. Meanwhile,
while I'm doing that as part of your onboarding, I am asking you, I'm guiding you through
a consultation. That consultation requires you to be so fucking honest. My advice to you
is if you've already joined and you're going into week one, do it the beginning of the week,
give yourself to the end of the week and then relook at it and relook at your own answers
and go back over and fill in the gaps, give more contacts where you think I would want
more contacts. This is by the way, this is not just work that you're doing, me and you
are doing it work, hold doing this work. So phase one, after you've got past week one,
then weeks two, three and four, I am guiding you through uncovering basically, who am I
now, what matters to me, what do I need, what do I want, what have I outgrown, what are
my tolerating, how am I getting it in my own way, what am I pursuing because I genuinely
want it, versus what is just normal and I'm going with the status quo. What happens after
phase one and after you've been guided through that work, again, it's between an hour
to two hours a week, tops, is you submit it and it's after phase one where there's a
little break for you and I take time to review your work. Now, for those of you who are
like, hang on a minute, is this self-guided, I've had a couple of people join in a secure
space, simply because it's not fully self-guided, it's not private one to one work, right, this
is not the same as my private one to one work. However, for those of you who've got the
reservation of, if it's self-guided, I am genuinely concerned that I will start it and
not complete it or I will start it with the best intentions and not actually follow
through with it, phase two is only unlocked by me looking over your submission after phase
one. My eyes go on your work, I am there to challenge you, question you, reflect things
back to you, I look for the contradictions, ambiguity, avoidance, patterns, beliefs
that you might not be seeing and I present that back to you to then unlock phase two. So if
phase one was and that's direct, that's me to you, that's not in a group, it's me to you. If phase
one was all about uncovering, phase two is about change. It's a little bit like saying, okay, we've
seen it. You've got honest. Now what? What changes? What stays? What stops? What starts? What needs
you to release in? What decisions need making? What behaviors need working on? Not right now, but
over the upcoming 12 months. You are going to be able to get past this. I was going to say eight,
but it's 10. You're going to be able to get through this 10 weeks and be like, I am incredibly
fucking clear on where I am, where I want to go and the journey together. And then over the next 12
months, you are supported by monthly reflect and refocus sessions to keep checking back in with that
work because phase two is about actually designing. Okay, this is what I actually want. This is what
the next version of me, this evolution, this is what it requires of me. So it's 10 weeks. There is
flexibility inside a fixed window. There are submission deadlines because there are personal
reviews from me. Put it this way. If you've ever considered working with me once or one, but you know
that that isn't that isn't quite right for you, this is the closest that you're going to get.
This is the closest that you're actually going to get to my one-to-one work. There is no group,
there is no community. This is a single standalone experience where you are working through some
of the stuff that you've been putting off and avoiding. And it has been playing out in your life
and in business in ways that you are unhappy with, the procrastination, the not knowing,
the uncertainty, the not following through, the feeling a little bit lost, the feeling that is,
I know what I want for myself. I'm just not sure how I navigate through the releasing the old
versions of myself to get there. And that is why this work is not something that I advocate for
you just doing on your own. And the reason why I've changed the structure and the format of this
should now be so obvious and so clear. During this time that we work together, I will not chase you,
the structure of the programme, the way it is facilitated will be what keeps you moving.
The responsibility is with you and that is so important, not because I don't want the responsibility
being with me, because you have got to want to do this work. That part of it is deliberate.
It's not self-paced because we all know how busy life in business gets. The flexibility is there
because you've got a fucking life, you've got businesses to run, you've got careers, you've got
dependencies, you've got obligations, but there are fixed points that require you to actually do
and submit the work. And in doing that, that's where I meet you. One of the things that I want to
work knowledge, based on the people, the 14 people who are already signed up and ready for September,
is every single person is different. Every single person in there has different circumstances in
their life, different lived experiences, different things that hold them back, different ambitions,
every single person is different. But what I can tell you is this, at the end of that 10 weeks,
you won't just be saying how insightful the project is or how much of a good time you've had,
you will be able to show me and yourself, you will be able to say, I'm now clear on that decision.
You will be able to say, "I'm now clear how the busyness that I've been upholding has
been holding me back and I will stop tolerating that."
You will be able to show me the boundaries and yourself the boundaries that you will now
start to uphold.
You will be able to see how you'll do things differently.
You'll be able to advocate for the things that you're going to start.
You will be able to confidently stop abandoning yourself.
You will be able to confidently say rather than circling around something, keeping coming
back to something but actually not making any progress.
You will be able to say, "I finally decided, I finally got clarity and I finally know
how I'm going to move forward because that is the difference that I care about."
Your evolution doesn't happen because you've had a really insightful time or that you've
uncovered stuff about yourself.
Your evolution happens, that's just the start.
Your evolution happens because you start to do things differently.
You already know loads of stuff.
You already are very self-aware.
This is about look at what is different because I started to take action and therefore
life changes, you change, circumstances change, plans need adjusting, so therefore that monthly
reflect and refocus that you will then have 12 months access to is a way of you coming
back to that work that I did in the inner work project.
This is my monthly reminder of, this is what I said mattered, this is what I need to prioritise
because let me tell you from doing this over the last five years, I know how important
those monthly check-ins are and it's that opportunity for you to come back to centre
and be like hang on a minute, shit got busy, especially in certain times of the year, but
is the way that I'm living still reflecting what I said I wanted or not, va, I've actually
got someone who was in the inner work club and in her own words she went ghost, she actually
dropped off for a couple of months and when I said you know this is an open door you can
secure one of the spaces for the inner work project or you can sever your contract here,
she said you would think in fact I'm going to get an email up, wait there one second.
Okay she actually says I've fallen off the wagon, I'm not going to read the personal personal
bit and she says the inner work at the moment has been few and far between, which is exactly
why I'm 100% not going anywhere, some people would say girl you haven't done this work
in months so quit but fuck that, I would like to continue, I want to do the inner work project
and I want to get the ball rolling again and then she goes on to say I can tell I still
need it as I've had some wobbles recently and I know that this will help, this is the
thing about doing this work and keeping on revisiting it, I want you to know this work
is not once and done, I do this work on myself for myself and when I revisit the work that
I have uncovered about myself, you've heard me talk about zoom out, you've heard me talk
about getting clear on what you want for yourself over the next 12 months, when I monthly
check in with my own zoom out, sometimes because I've changed your circumstances with change,
that's zoom out, needs amending, it needs updating and that is exactly how it should be because
you grow, you evolve, life changes, kids fucking move out, parents unfortunately pass away,
you become a care of parents, life circumstances change, what you want changes, you come into
money, you lose money, all of it happens and the whole point of this isn't so that you
can set goals from this idealic version of who you think you should be, which by the
way is a former self sabotage, this is actually working with who you are right now, keeping
on checking in with that, but never losing sight of your own self honesty, it is something
that you continue living, so the final point that I want to make here is this absolutely
will not be for everyone, and I want to be really clear on that, to do this work, you
need to want to look honestly at yourself, you need to be curious, you need to be not
just willing, eager to be challenged, you need to be willing to hear me say, I think you
might be bullshit in yourself there, or I think that your ambiguity around that is a
former self sabotage, can we get specific, you need to be ready and willing and eager to
be challenged in those ways and you need to be able to explore it with curiosity, rather
than feeling like you need to defend yourself, don't get me wrong, when shit comes up which
it will and when you feel defensive, which you might, that's okay, we can work with that,
but the whole premise of this is you taking responsibility for doing the work, I am not
there to chase you, I am not there to give you the answers, I am not constantly available
like I will be with one of my private clients, you aren't left alone with 72 videos to
work through, there is very clear and succinct work for you to work through, you own the
responsibility, I provide the structure, the challenge, the perspective and that's where
we meet each other, if you are someone who is thinking, I just don't have time for a
couple of hours a week to do this, maybe this isn't the right time for you, and I'm not
saying that because I believe that is true, I'm saying that because I'm not going to pretend
you can do meaning for work on yourself if you give it your last five minutes of every
single week at the last minute, but I would also ask you to notice something, if everything
and everyone continually gets your time first, maybe that's part of the problem, this
work, sorry, that's quite confronting, but it's true, this work requires you to give
yourself proper attention, and although it's not time consuming, it absolutely will require
your care and your energy, and you should be ready for that, as in you should feel ready
for that, as in I want to do that, if that's where you are, and it's okay by the way to
be like I am busy, or I want to do this, like that's okay, but just don't bullshit yourself,
don't bullshit yourself with the whole, I'm really busy, I don't think it's time, be
really honest with yourself about that, right? Another thing that I want to talk about
is I've had one person in my DMs, because by the way if you're interested in this, send
me a message, you can email me at
[email protected], you can send me a message on Instagram,
you can send me a message on LinkedIn, voice notes are fine, but really send me a message
with where you think your reservations are, or any questions you have, one of the questions
that I've had is, I'm not sure it's for me because I don't know what I want yet, it's
almost like this person voice noted me, with, if I could summarise it, it would be, I feel
like I've got to do some work before I do this work, absolutely fucking not, you do not
need to work that out before you come to this work. All's I need from you is the honesty,
that honesty, to look at your lumpy rug, that honesty that is, I know that something's
not quite fitting anymore, I know I want something to be different, I'm not actually sure
what, I'm not actually sure what's holding me back, but just because you don't know, just
because you're not clear, that isn't evidence that you're not ready, that is actually, not
knowing what you want is actually probably one of the strongest reasons to do this work
because you get that clarity. However, what I would say is, if you are someone who needs
me to convince you to do this work, don't do it, and I genuinely mean that, because
I am facilitating this, I'm providing you with the framework, the structure, the insights
the perspective, I am there meeting you in this work, but I am not the only person facilitating
this, you are too. In this work, we are co-creating together, and I am so excited to see how these
initial 20 spaces get filled. If you would like to ask me some questions, or if you would
like to secure your space, please contact me. If you're listening to this in the future,
there probably will be a sales page, there probably will be somewhere where you can click,
but for now, I hope this has helped. I want to let you know as I wrap up this episode
that I am releasing this on my 40th birthday. As much as I recorded, the episode, a couple
of episodes back, where I was talking about the gifts I am given to myself, this genuinely
does hands-on-heart feel like a huge gift that I am given to myself. Please never forget,
in running my own business, I am the one that gets to choose the work that I do, and
I could not be looking forward more to doing this work with you. If you are interested
send me a message, secure your space. If you've got questions, fire them over, but I
hope this episode has helped to uncover what this work is all about, and giving you the
information that you need to make an informed decision. As always, please never forget,
I am always cheering you on, and I really do hope that you are cheering you on too.
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