INTRODUCING THE GIRLFRIEND! -You Should Know Podcast-

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If you're new here, if you're not already, leave a below, use the subscribe button, and press your own. If you're looking at more below, then you see that conversations are fulfilled with your name. Guess what, even more are wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. We are on an absolute roll. We are on an absolute tear, and that is all because of you. Now, as you know, it has been our goal as a podcast, as a company, to hit one million subscribers, And we are rounding third base. We are rounding third base about to slide in to home plate. We're at, what are we, like 950 right now? 950,000, something around there. I could be completely wrong, but we are close. And the only way we can get there is because of you. And we have a big, big, big gift for you as soon as we hit 1 million subscribers. But if you can't get enough of just the YouTube content, we have extra five to six hours of content every single week over on the patreon the koala club that is patreon.com so you should know podcast you can scan this qr code or click the link in the description below if you're listening on audio go ahead and download this episode leave us a review say hello i love reading the comments over there y'all are the best family in the world we are so lucky to have you the documentary is coming out soon the europe and australian tour is happening is getting announced soon we're so excited to give all this to you we love you now on to the rest of the episode we got co-host cam back in the studio we got co-host cam how we how we feel oh my god we're under attack no that's the second time we're under attack we just got under attack last week that's btsd fellas it's too soon we got broken into last week co-host cam is in the studio how you feeling bud big heavy and wet wow at least we're honest about the big and heavy uh no unfortunately i think i'm most honest about being wet oh why are you why why are you a little dripped well for one reason won't share to the audience for second though perspiration under the pitoral areas that is pitoral pitoral is a great area pitoral areas it's so cold outside when i step in this studio i sweat dude every time so freezing outside so freezing i don't like it and i had that thought today i was like i it just for every year it furthers my point of i do not understand and we're not gonna do we're not No, if you speak, you're subject to cross-contamination. Oh, no, not cross-contamination. That's when you cook chicken and then you touch something. That's whenever you go step on one of those downtown needles. You ever seen one of those loose and walking around? Oh, dude, I saw a spoon look like it was struck by the sun itself. There's a burn center right in the middle. It was black as night. Don't eat your soup with that. Oh, that'd be your last bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. Oh, my God. Talk about cross-contamination. What is the legal term in court? Cross. Cross-examine. Cross-examine. Yes. Cross-examine. Speak. Every year around this time, I always talk about how I don't understand people that prefer the cold over the heat. Yeah, I just hate you. It's just simple, simple logic. Cold with proper materials equals cozy. Warm with no materials or the best materials equals still hot. We've had the same debate for every. And I don't understand how it won't sink into your little mushy brain. - Because more materials doesn't mean more comfortability to me. That means less mobility. You're used to not being mobile 'cause you're. - That's not true. - This is it for you. - You're not. - This is naturally it. - That's not true. What the hell is this? Like I'm the thing in front of a car sales. - Oh, those are skinny. - Go pay-da, go pay-da, go pay-da, go pay-da, go pay-da. - Oh my, oh my God. Oh no, you got a fat wedgie. - Go pay-da, go pay-da, go pay-da. you need like you bro you need there's a certain point you need to be groomed like you need to be groomed not whoa whoa oh and i'm freaked out you need to be groomed like a dog like a border collie no no the back of your ass is way too hairy you know i had that i had that discussion in my household this week about my grooming because i you know i talked to voldemort and i said i said "Hey Voldy, hey no nose." I said, "Your baby's as white as Voldemort." Just put that together. - Yes, he does have a nose though. Very, very prominent nose truck. - Careful. - I said-- - You were talking to Voldy. - I was talking to Voldemort. - Yeah. - My lady. - Yeah, your lady Voldemort. - Because all my boys make fun of my body hair. My boys and body hair don't mix. - Body hair and boys. - They don't like it. opposite gangs bloods and crips and i said and so i was giving voldemort a hug right and if you know anything about me if you review any you should know podcast footage with me with my shirt off there's a lot of it and from the back i got a tough you do like right here and i don't like that it has a scientific name i can't put that i don't like that i don't like because now it's very real yeah and i feel like that grows an emotional attachment to you tough is it tough tough tough tough the fact that you are a regular human being in the year of 2025 yeah and you have a tough well that sounds primal oh i feel like they have lied to me about my birth i feel like there was an extra procedure to cut off a tail as soon as i came to this world i feel like i came out with at least a doberman pinch your tail you're supposed to be a saiyan you're supposed to literally be, oh, so many jokes came across my mind, and the internet will ream me if I let those go, oh, I gotta, I gotta soak on those, wow, I asked Marley, cause, cause I was giving her a hug, right, and, you know, she's smaller than me, cause I'm a big girl, right, and so her hands naturally went right above, right above my, my dude, right, right above the dude, right into the tub, right where the tub, and I felt her playing with my tough like that and i got because of my boys i got insecure i said hey don't touch that hey hands off the tough oh you know like whenever you pick up a dog from back i don't want don't pick me up like that remind me of my mother don't pick me up from my from my pre what was i gonna say i'm sorry i was gonna say something but i forgot i'm sorry no i'm freaking out and i don't know why i feel like you imagine living like that for 27 years okay okay so she went into your tough like that and was massaging my tummy like pulling on it and like almost braiding it and then you you struck i said don't i said don't do that my boys don't like it and when she went to leave it was like a Chinese finger trap why Chinese okay if you know you know okay so she went to leave she went oh my god it was like a claymore yes right and so and i said don't do that i said my boys make fun of me i'm tough and she goes yeah i've noticed that she i really don't appreciate k-rob and cam for for always making fun of your body hair she's like i really like it and i was like well i was thinking about shaving it and she got so serious she goes never do that oh now as a man right does that make should that make me feel good or should that what in your situation now live doesn't touch my wife loves me oh yeah she knows you're a great reproductive partner yeah she loves me for what i have and what i can offer i'm kidding live loved me when i literally looked like a - Yeah, you look like you sang "Bob to the Top" in the school musical. - That and a cellar. - Right. - Yeah, she loves me. - So as a man. Does Liv like play with your gut? 'Cause I know you don't like that. Like we're letting them fly this episode, aren't we? We are 10 minutes in and I've got gut, hips, fat ass, can't move, wife doesn't touch. Oh, we're on a roll. Okay. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. No, she doesn't play with my fupa. It's not. She goes, "What's under there?" She goes, "Oh, all right, whatever." She goes, "Where's he at? "Where's he at?" I go, "Okay." No, she does not. And your shoes- - Is there anything on you that she doesn't, that you're insecure about, but she loves? - I mean, insecurity- - Other than the size. - Of it. - Babe, it's perfect for me. This is like the perfect settle down size. - Oh no. - No, I will literally. Oh my God, if I- - Don't say that to me. - No, no, if a woman were to say that to a freshly seasoned, or even veteran partner, say, "Oh my God, no, this is the perfect size to settle down with." I will. I will. - I don't like the big ones. - I'd be like, "Really?" - We had a good run. - Really, the big ones are just too much. I would literally, I'd probably go line a bath, and I would literally jump in the bath with- - With your clothes on. - Oh my God, let's further the lore. - Let's get in it. - Is that coming off in like a pillow talk situation? Like you might be watching some little netty Netflix, or is that sliding out during reproductive practices? - I know exactly when it will come out. - Give me the scenario. - Because as men, we're insecure, right? - Yeah. - So, I think it happens after the act. When you know you haven't performed, right? When you know- - Oh, dude. - You know, like one of those, "I'm sorry." - Oh yeah, no. - And so then, it's like you fish for compliments, right? - Oh yeah. - And so you're out there, you have your rod, you got your bait. - You know, it wasn't that bad, right? Like it wasn't, I mean, it was like, it was still- - It's like- - Like we both got to the finish line. Like it was, you know? - Right, we did. - It was both of us, right? - Like we both did, right? Like we both finished the race, right? - Yeah. - Like you're not still running. - Yeah, and then be like, and then once you're fishing, that you, do you say something to insinuate? Like, about that, right? - Yeah. - And then that's when your partner would hit you with, "No, babe, it's the perfect size." The big, I don't like the big ones, right? You don't like the little ones either, right? - I, I've no, I would probably, like, I'd probably faint. - Yeah, no. - Like in the moment, I'd be so flabbergasted. I'd just be like- - That's one of those, you're like, chest goes to your- - I would turn off. - Yeah. - Like my lung would collapse. - Yeah. - And then I'd, mm, nevermind. But then I'd wake up, and I'd probably be like, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, I'm at the lawyer's office." - I'm taking my son. - Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and take my kid. You can get, get the hell out of my life. Lying. I'm just kidding. - The You Should Know Podcast. - But that would be, okay, that just reminded me of a story. This is a 100%, 100% real story. - Oh my God, I'm very nervous. - Oh no, it's- - Is it vulnerable? - It's, it is, it is vulnerable in all caps with 17 exclamation points. - 'Cause that's what I love. I love when you, I can use your vulnerability against you. I love that. - I don't, but hell, we're here. Maybe, I don't have the exact pinpoint. Let's call it like three months, three months into dating Liv, we go to a basketball game, and we're there with a friend, a mutual friend of both of ours that went to the same school as you and me. - Okay. - A friend that was there the first year. - Okay. - Okay? We're all walking into the game, and he is just expressing his, his love that we are now together, right? - Right. - 'Cause this is the next year. He's at a different school. - Right. - He's like, dude, I still just, it's just crazy that y'all are together. Like, this is sick. Like, that's so awesome. And we're just talking about it. I'm like, yeah, bro, it's fire. Like, she's, she's sick. So we're walking into this basketball game, and the conversation kind of takes a turn. Don't even remember, I just remember, I'll never, I'll never forget this question, but he literally looks at Liv and goes, is Cam the biggest you ever been with? Out loud, walking into a collegiate basketball game, and me, me, insecure, young, little Cam at the time, I go, no need to answer that. You don't have to answer that. It's literally a free world. Like, you like, literally, no, don't answer that. - First of all, this guy's the weirdest guy that's ever existed. No, this guy wanted your wife. No, that's, that's what, that's what has to happen. - I really hope that's not true, but. - Oh, do I know this man? - That was, yeah. - Oh God, yeah. - But that was, that was a literal question that left his mouth, and then Liv. - Yeah, I need to know your wife's response to this. - So, now. - 'Cause I want to know, too. - This is probably the saddest I've ever gone out, ever. - No, Cam. - I mean, I mean, the big, I mean, I grabbed flour, I grabbed sugar, and I baked myself a big L cookie, and I put it in that oven, and I just baked the biggest L cookie. I dipped that L in some milk, and I had that big L cookie. She goes, yes, yes, he is. And I turned to her and I go, you don't have to lie. - Aww. - Stand up, bro. Fight for yourself. You're all you got. In the background, Raph! Raph! I literally go, I go, Liv, you don't have to lie. And then we hear the buzzer, and I was like, let's go watch the Moops. No, Cam, that's bad. Cam, 'cause even from like a self-respect point. - I've grown since. - Even if she lied to you, you appreciate that she lied. - I take it, yeah. - I love you. - She's saving face. She's being a rock, just a rock star. She's being a bottom, you know? - Okay. - Yeah, well, she's being a great woman, right? She's being a great woman. And she's holding it down. Now, I was so flabbergasted and deconstructed from that question that I don't know why, but I semi took offense. I said, Liv, you don't gotta lie. All right, all right. You're with me for the vision, you see. You don't have to lie. You should go after Matt. - This is an investment, right? It's a penny stock, right? You're hoping one day that we've signed this great deal. We're in at all the local schools. We shoot up to $180 a share and you'd strike gold. - Yeah. - I go, don't lie. - That's hilarious. - Yeah, it was wicked, though. Crazy conversation. - I had a self-reflection about myself as well. - Oh, God. - Yours was from the past. Mine was from this week. - Oh, oh. - Well, that could be good. You've been on a hot streak. - Have I? - Yeah. - How so? - Fitness, journey, tapping back. Getting back into some vidya games. - Right. Great time. - It's a down time. Maybe doing a little, maybe watching a lot of sports. - Yeah. - Not too hot in that sector. - Not too hot in gambling. - But you're doing good. - I think it's the working out. It kind of parlays with that, right? - It does. - It'll change your whole life. - So I've been working out a little more. My body's sore, right? And normally, everybody knows I enjoy a good massage, right? - Yes. - And I have a lady. - Yes. - I love her. We don't speak much. There's a language barrier, but I love her, right? - Yeah. - No, no, it's true. - No, very true. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You met her. - Yeah, very true. - How was the conversation? - Non-existent. It was just like, no. And then, and then the end. And then, you walk out. - Oh, come on. - No, no, no, no, I do that. I'll do that. Oh, appreciate it. - Yeah, I know. - It's almost like I love your style. Oh, appreciate it, buddy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I didn't sit there. I didn't do the. No, I'm just saying. - That's out, that's out. - No, I'm saying out. No, that has to be out. - Well, join the Patreon. - Not even. - Oh, yeah. - Come on. - Oh, yes. - All right. - Oh, you're making it. - Cancel them. I don't care. - No, that's not, that's not. They know my heart. - Q Code's like, nah, we lost the deal. - But yes, I know her. And she's a very nice woman. Just yeah, there is a barrier. - Yeah, she's a great woman, right? And normally she's always available for me, right? - Yeah. - Normally she's always available for me. - Yes. - I've never called her and she says, no, I can't do it. - Mm. - Right? Anytime I call her, she's there. - She's like, yeah, pull up. - Oh my God. I am, I am drenched. - Jesus Christ, my shirt's dirty. - Okay, so. - Every time you call her, it's simply like, yep, pull up. But this time. - Yes. - This time I call her. She doesn't answer. I said, oh no, don't like that. - Not good. - Call her again, she doesn't answer. I call her the third time, she answers and she's aggressive with me. - God, you're persistent as. - Well, I needed the massage, I was sore. - Someone didn't tell you? - No. - Hey, if someone doesn't answer twice, don't just keep ringing them. Jeez, what if she was in the hospital or something? - Well, that's not my fault. So. - That's true. - So I call her the third time, she answers, but she's a little upset. Like she's like, you can tell she's flustered. And essentially she tells me, I'm not gonna mimic, but she tells me she's not available today. - Yeah. - But I was very headstrong. No, stop. You use your own imagination how the conversation went. - Yeah, stop. - Yeah. So. - Do not cut them when you did that. - So I was like, okay, I need to get a massage. I'm gonna call this new place. It was like a sports recovery place. - Fire, off rip. - Awesome, right? - Off rip, 'cause they do good stretching too. - They do, apparently, you know, it's great for physical activity, former athletes, current athletes, I'm a big, big former athlete. - Yeah, big on the former athletes. - All right, so I call and I say, hey, I just need, it's just me, can I come in right now? I need a massage. I'm sore. I've been working out. Perfect. You can come in, right? I go into the massage place. Nice, new, aesthetic. A lot of tubes. It's like a science lab, right? And I was like, oh, this is cool, right? Sit down. They're like, okay, your room will be available in a little bit. And I say, all righty. Through the corner, a large man comes around, right? And you could tell he looks like he was, like, an offensive tackle for, like, the San Francisco 49ers, right? One of the biggest humans I've ever seen. Like, vascular, hairy forms. Remember the dentist that finger-f***ed my mouth? Yeah, I do. Like, same forms. Like, one of those. So, you just got to get that molar. Yeah. That's deep YSK lore, if you don't know. So, this big, brolic-y man in scrubs comes around the corner. But, like, athletic scrubs. Not, like, hospital scrubs. What do you do when it's, like, harvesting my organs? Yeah, like, athletic scrubs, right? What is an athletic scrub? Like, sweatpants, but the top was doctor-y. Oh, so, like, a Nike pro. Like, athletic. What the f*** is athletic scrubs? There's either scrubs or there's not. He's a Nike tech. Why did you say scrubs? Because we're in a place of business. He goes, Payton Harden. He's in a suit, but, like, an athletic suit. I go, that's me. He goes, don't ever say my full name again. Just Payton will suffice. He goes, room whatever's available. I'm thinking he's just walking me to the room, right? He takes me to the room. He goes, all right, brother. Give you a second to be ready. I'll be here. About two minutes. I go, oh, yeah. You? Oh, yeah. He goes, I'll be ready. And so, I'm like, oh, s***. I'm about to get a massage by a man. Yes, you are. And that's not a problem. That's not. I'm progressive, right? I'm an ally, right? I've been to the parade in Houston. I have been. And so, I'm fine with it. And I have no insecurities or worries, right? But I'm used to getting my massages naked, right? I get my massages. I like getting naked. Get in me. Like, really get in me. Oh. Like, I like an elbow in the crack. Yeah, you've all been there. You might like a finger somewhere else. He said, get in me. Okay. And so, I'm laying down, right? And he comes in, right? And I have the sheet over me. I'm face down, butt naked like I'm used to. Now, I don't think I'm supposed to be because this is an athletic massage. So, he goes. So, he pulls the sheet up. He goes, oh, s***. He's like, oh, what the f***? You know how to me? He goes, I'm going to leave. It's like, put your shorts back on. You know how embarrassing that is? To have a grown man tell you to put your pants back on. He goes. Hey, man, I'm going to give you about 30 more seconds. Put them drawers back on. That's exactly what happened. Hey. He comes back. He comes back. He comes back, bro. He puts this, like, tiger bomb on me. Dog. That motherf***er felt good, bro. Oh, I bet. No, I got a little hard. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. You just said. CJ, you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not like, not like weirdly. Oh, there's only one, like, f***ing hard. Not like Deshaun Watson. Like, massage. You're sounding real. You're sounding real quarterback-y. No, but my s*** jumped. That's what I'm saying. Where was this tiger bomb placed? My back. On your f***ing tuft. And you're sitting there getting pulses. Reminds me of Voldemort. That's why I'm not vulnerable. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have more to say. No, you will say it. No, you will say it. Oh, you should have seen when he bit me up. When he had me like this. No, well, if we can't be honest. No, we're being honest. I thought we were inclusive. No, we're very inclusive. We're very inclusive. You just got a little stiffy when you're getting rubbed down with some tiger bomb by an offensive lineman for the 49ers. It jumped. I didn't stay there. Why is it jump? What were you, what do you think of during massages? You gotta be in the moment. Oh, okay. This guy is rubbing out my muscles. That's just primal instinct. You're not thinking. You hit my spot. We all got his spot. Thank God he made you put your shorts back on. Oh, my God. He's sitting there rubbing your back and all the sheets moving and shit. Well, no. Well, Peyton. It's going to be a little. No, that's, that's. No, don't scratch your tough now. So, what did he, was there any discourse? He didn't see it. First off. He didn't see it. Oh, it wasn't a big jump then. No, no. I'm telling you. It was like a little, like a little. It was like a little wink. Like you caught a little breeze. Yeah, my body's like, whoo, hey. Went back. Yeah. It just. Okay, that's fine. That's good. So, there was. So, he didn't see it. No, no, no, no. It wasn't like weird. I'm just. I was being honest with my friends. No, as you should. And we appreciate that. So, now, was there mental thoughts happening after that happened? No. Did you? No, no, no, no. So, you didn't question yourself in the moment. Like, maybe something along the lines of, why is my jumping when he's rubbing my back? No, because it felt good. I knew the answer. I knew the answer. God, we love an honest man. I'm honest. We love an honest man. And it's not. There's no such thing as too honest. Hey, I told my wife she doesn't have to lie, and you got a for a guy. Welcome back to. Oh, oh, my God. Okay, first off, this isn't even. That is wicked. Not really. No, it is. It's a little wicked. The crazy thing is, K-Rob recommended me to the guy. So, he might have jumped a couple times. He goes, you should. And he gets in that L4, brother. That is nice. He's good at his job. Oh, I'm telling you. Clearly. I recommend him to Voldemort. Oh, my God. I can't do that for you. The You Should Know Podcast. So, I went to Oklahoma this past weekend. That sucks, man. Dude, I'm not going to lie. My in-laws lived in Oklahoma. My kids never seen us. The family is amazing. You already know that. The vibes are always fun. But, super, like, to the point I almost took a picture of this man. But, that just reminded me of this. I'm sitting. In a Walmart. Now, who sits in Walmart? Gotta stop going to Oklahoma Walmarts. You know, I know. Who sits in Walmarts? Don't know. I understand. I'm waiting on Liv. We'd already finished. I'm waiting on her with Bubba to get out of the bathroom. Right. So, I'm just sitting at that little front, little bench. And I shit you not. I'm sitting there, doom scrolling, looking at my kid. Oh, hey, Bubba. Literally, probably seven foot four, walks to the door. A fucking behemoth of a man. Victor Wiminyama came in. A country bread. Corn bread. Like, whole milk Oklahoma boy at seven four. Walks in with the size 19 L's on his feet. The had suspenders on. What size are those? Those are 6X suspenders. Yeah. Not body shaming, but this was, like, genuinely one of the biggest human beings I've ever seen. Did you talk to him? And he walks. Oh, hell no. Scared of him? Was he going to curse me? No, I'm not going to speak. I go, hey. He goes. Yeah, no. He's. But he's your higher up in the white category. Oh, he is. He runs the whites. He walks in, suspenders and all. Yeah. And I don't know what he's grabbing, but he gets the little, like, the handheld basket. It looked like he's just holding a little coin purse. Like, his hands were literally, like, this big. And I don't know. I still, like, I don't think he played sports or anything. Could have. I don't know. I didn't take a picture of him because I was like, that guy's looking at me. Yeah. So I didn't. But he was absolutely monstrous. I wasn't even going to say that, but that reminded me of it. But as tall guys, we're both tall guys. Yeah. How do you feel? How do you feel, like, genuinely inside, walking past people that are taller than us? No, I mean, I've never been. I think I'm just like, damn, he's tall. Like, but I've never. Dude, you're talking about, you get, like, an internal. I'm just like. Oh, my God. You get, Bubba gets jelly. No, no. It's more of my perception. No, no, no. No, no. No, sir. No, sir. Not jelly. No jelly. All jam. I'm saying, like, I just, I view the world differently for those two seconds I'm walking past somebody else. You know, because I, it's rare that I'm, I'm not seen. I'm not seen somebody's corn pwn. Yeah. Right. It's very true. And so when I'm looking at somebody's under chin, it doesn't feel good for me. It is. I'm just like, holy. It's a shock almost. Yeah. It's like a quick shock. But I, bro, I think you have to be significantly taller. Like, if you're 6'8", 6'9", 6'10", even, it's like, we've seen that our whole. 6'7". Like, we've seen, oh, there's 6'7". It's like, we've seen that. We've been around that all, our whole life. Yeah. It's not a crazy jump. When you're in, when you're a footer, like, there's a difference. But, like, a footer is when people really start looking at you like, oh, what the hell is that? 100%. And I feel bad. I feel bad for them. Yeah. Because I know as soon as the ball stops for you, it just sucks. Yeah. Your life. Your bones hurt. You can't go into a store and buy shoes. You can't go buy jeans. You can't buy certain vehicles. Yeah. So I'm just like, fuck that. I think we lucked out. We're on the perfect height. Perfect, just like. We're too tall. We're not in that, like, grotesque. There's something wrong with this grand height. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I'm starting to feel it in my, in my bones and shit. I'm starting to, I've been feeling it in my knees. Yeah, it's bad. I'll sit crisscross, and any time I move to stand up, my entire right knee goes. Yeah, it's horrible. Every time. And I'm like, thanks a lot, Lisa. I mean, y'all have heard me walk. It's like pop rocks. Oh, yeah. That, now, that's just poor health. Poor ankle health on you. You went to the grocery store, right? Yes. That story took place in the grocery store. Yes, sir. And I had, I had this thought, right? Yes, sir. So, you know, when you go to the grocery store, and you're going around shopping, you use a shopping cart, right? Yes, sir. I frequent the mall a lot. I'm always at the mall. Genuine question. Just a perception of the world. Why don't we use shopping carts inside of malls? But we use them in grocery stores. - Grocery stores. I think it's an efficiency thing. I think it would be more efficient if we use shopping carts. - I think you are tragically wrong. - Why? - Malls are way more populated. Way more populated. So you throw- - It's not necessarily true. - That's a million percent true. You think there's ever been a Walmart that you've stepped inside, that singular Walmart, that has ever had a population of North Park? - Yes. - Okay, where? Which one? - Black Friday in a year. - Black Friday. - Do they use shopping carts? - That's the one exception. - Okay, but do they use shopping carts on Black Friday? - Yes, and how hectic is Black Friday at Walmart? - Not too. It's a little more jam-packed, but you just gotta say a little more, "Excuse me." - Now imagine- - Right here, can I get right here? A little more, "Excuse me." - Now imagine a mall with 20,000 people in it on Saturday. First off- - You've never been to a mall that has 20,000 people in it. Never have you seen that. - Really? 'Cause I'm gonna pull your exact same card. Black Friday. - Oh. - There's still not 20,000 people. I think you're grossly overestimating how many 20,000 people are. - I guarantee you there's been 20,000 people in a mall before. Guarantee you. - At one single time, inside a mall? - Yes. - That's a fire hazard. Fire marshal will shut that down immediately. - Malls are massive. Malls are absolutely huge. - Yes. - Yeah, they have a crazy fire code. They can have a lot more people than a Target. - Okay, but don't you think, so your thing is just the lanes would get congested? - Bro, everything, what are you gonna, you're gonna push a shopping cart into a Hot Topic? What, are you gonna knock down half their merchandise? - Hot Topic is a condensed store and that's not fair. - Exactly. Spencer's, Foot Locker, malls are made for foot traffic, not for steel cages of destruction. - But have you never seen the shopping carts that are double-deckers that are a little more-- - What are we doing? - What are we doing? - I'm not talking about the big buggies that go like this. I'm talking about the ones that-- - Yeah, the little double-decker. Right there, double-deckers. - You put the colds up top, dries down below. - Can't put a kid in that. - Can't do it, don't have the footholds. - But you can put a decent amount of merchandise in there. - First off-- - But that narrows so much space. - No, it doesn't. - It also opens up to thievery on high degrees. You have two bags from your Foot Locker, right? You slide into Hot Topic, you grab that shirt, you throw a rock in the opposite corner, everyone, "Oh, what was that?" Right under the bags you leave with your buggy. - You act like the whole security system of the tag on clothes goes away because you're using a buggy. - Oh, 'cause Hot Topic, Hot Topic, G.I.D. tags their up. Bull. - Dude, you and Hot Topic? - I don't know, what are they doing? - Why is Hot Topic-- - You know they don't have tags on their clothes. - But no, no, easily, easily broke down. I hear what you're saying, 'cause you might fancy several stores, you might have a bag from Zara, a bag from Neiman, you might have a food beverage you're holding, a pair of shoes from here, all that, right? - Yes. - You want one place to put it. - God bless. - Absolutely not. - I think I'm coming from a business perspective. I think the mall is losing-- - But it's worse. - I think the mall's losing a lot of money by not having buggies, because a human being can only hold so much thing. God forbid you got a children. - Yeah, that's very true. - God forbid you got them children. - That's very true. - Right? - So say you only got two hands and now you're using all your arm real estate. God bless, look at Robby's hand, hold it up. That's one bag max. That's one bag. He can't hold that. That's one bag maximum. - That's one heavy bag, two mediums. That is a two bag max. - But imagine if Robby has a buggy. - Exactly. - He can put so much more merchandise in there, boom. You got so much more money coming to your mall. - See, now I would counter your argument. You're thinking business. You're thinking, oh, money, money, money. - That's what we're, that's-- - Oh, oh, oh, oh. - That's what runs the world. - That's fine, but at the same time, at the same time, if you insert all these shopping carts into a mall and people start getting pissed and employees or other people start getting attacked with them and people start stealing more, okay? Now it might be a, ah, don't want to go to that mall. They're the ones with all the bull happening. Or stores are shut down because someone shattered their window. So now you're three days without POS and now you're losing money, which runs your world. - Have you ever left a mall earlier than you would like to because you just ran out of hands for your bags? - Never. - That's an equity thing. - Oh my god, oh my god. I knew you were setting me up. I just didn't know what lane. Oh my god, I have never done that. And if anything, you go to your car, put the bags in there, you walk back in for more. - That's how I can tell you grew up in a great place where not a lot of thievery happened. See, I went to Highland, I went to the Highland Mall in Austin, Texas. That's where I grew up at. They were smoking weed by the ice cream cone food court. - I went to Big T's in-- - I went to Big T's in Dallas. You could get the new J's to drop for $32. They were the fakest ever. You called them fake, there's a in your face. - What I'm saying, but if you go to the mall, right, and you go place your bags in your car and then you go back into the mall, you gotta move your car. - That's fine. - You didn't move your car. - No, I've never even done that. I go to the mall for three things. You're like, I wanna get this, that, this, that, this, that, that. First off, oh my god. Oh, I was about to say something crazy. Now I'm gonna break it down. I'm gonna break it down slowly so it doesn't get taken out of context. I was gonna say, you're that monkey that grabs-- Now listen, now listen. You're stopping. Listen to what I'm saying. Listen, that's why I'm breaking it down. They did an experiment with monkeys. They got a big, real monkeys. They got a huge thing of bananas. They dumped it. Listen, if y'all would shut up, it clears my name and it clears us. I stopped myself, I laughed, and then I reverted. - So I'm a big monkey with bananas, now what? - They did an experiment with monkeys showing the selfish nature of us humans, of us humans. They dropped a literal barrel of bananas, and every monkey ran up and grabbed one and dipped, 'cause that's all they needed. They needed one banana, and I was gonna say, in this instance, due to the shopping with the bags, I was quickly gonna say, you're that monkey that grabs more than one banana. Now I realized, now I realized, no, it's not thievery. It's when you were like, oh, that's an equity thing. I'm gonna get this, that, that, and I don't wanna have to go back to the car. I want the shopping thing so I can hold all my merchandise. That's the route I was taking. You're the monkey that takes more bananas, okay? Now that that's cleared. - You could've spun out lions with meat or-- - No, but that would be a lie. - Because you actually watched-- - I don't lie, I'm a truth teller. - So do you want me to keep it in? - It was a real thing. - Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's the lead of the trailer this week. It's the first thing that they're gonna see. You're that monkey. It's a hard cut. - Come at me. - That's a leading TikTok. That's it, the whole TikTok. You're that monkey, pow, that's it, TikTok. Two second TikTok. That's it. - It was episode one night. - Link in bio. - Yeah. - Okay, I had a story that happened to me this week. - Tell me the story, Daddy. - Coming back from Oklahoma. So we had a really fun Saturday night. First off, we went to a Halloween party that we did not know we were invited to, didn't know we were going to, and-- - Did you show up? - No, like we-- - You drove past, you're like, "Ew!" - Yeah, I don't go there. - We went, no, on Friday after Halloween here in Texas, we drove up, I drove up late to Oklahoma Saturday to watch Zoey and her basketball, but then they said, "Hey, our family friends "always throw this fat Halloween party. "It's tonight, do y'all wanna come?" I said, "I don't have a costume." They said, "Oh, no one's dressing up." We go-- - It's not a Halloween party. - Fantastic, it was-- - That's not a Halloween party. - It was crazy, it was fire. Bonfire, so much food, so many sweets, so many drinks. - No, no, massive house, I'm talking-- - Why are you covering the mic for massive house? - I don't know, 'cause I didn't encase it, whatever. Beautiful home, beautiful home. I'm talking, there's a hanger in the back. There's a literal hanger. - What's a hanger? - There's planes in this backyard. - Oh,. - There's a literal hanger. - My bro got a clothes hanger, I was like, "You gotta--" I was like, "That sounds poor." - There's like a huge-- - There's a huge garage that is completely away from his house, not connected. Concrete slabs, there's planes. - Planes laying in his backyard? - There's five old school cars all being worked on, bodies, there's surround speakers and things. There's a car lift. - What'd you leave the house with? - My pride and dignity. - Oh, it took some. - Oh, no shot, had a lot of shots. But anyway, so we went to that party, it was fun. - Taking that boss. - So because we stayed out late Saturday, we woke up Sunday, kinda just took a long time getting around, so we stayed majority of the day. We're driving back home, and it's kinda nighttime, it's like five or six, and I you not, I'm sitting there driving, and I'm like, "Damn, bro, there's no way I'm getting tired this early." Like, "Yeah, daylight savings time is getting darker." I'm like, "Bro, something's high." Liv's asleep next to me, Bubba's asleep in the back. I'm going for like 45 minutes, and I'm like, "What the , there's no way I'm tired." I crack my Celsius, slam it. There's 30 minutes left in this drive, so I've been going for two and a half hours at this point. Liv wakes up, she looks at me, and goes, "What the , are you okay?" I went, "What are you screaming for?" 'Cause she woke up, and I said, "Don't you scream!" 'Cause it scared the out of me, yeah. I'm not kidding, she literally wakes up and goes, "Oh my God, what the , are you okay?" And I go, "What are you talking about?" She goes, "Your eye!" And I'm like, "You need to relax." And she's like, "Pull over, I have to piss, "and you need to check that out." We pull over to the gas station. I look in the rear view, my right eye is swollen. What, my right eye is swollen? This whole bottom part is swollen. - You didn't feel it? - No, no, no, I felt it. I never thought it was swollen. I was like, "What the wrong with my eye? "There's something in it." It was, first off, this is a terrible picture of me, but you can barely tell. - Oh my God, oh, please put that on the screen, 'cause that's gonna be in every TikTok comment. - Yeah, that's gonna be in every single one. But you can barely tell, 'cause it went down a lot. - Yeah, and it looks like you got a little, it's like a little stump, but at the beginning, it was like all the way up here. - So what happened? - I have no idea. I was in my car. I was driving home, and I didn't eat any new profound food, and I'm just sitting there like, "Holy , my eye's getting sticky. like what is this and my wife wakes up and freaks out yeah and literally he's like what the completely swollen the thing i love about cam i love him he will give you the most pronounced beginning of something and then there's no payoff he's like i don't know what happened you gotta dude that how do you okay explain to me how you find out what happened to your eye in that moment investigate i'm on i-35 investigate investigate what what happened what happened saying nothing happened wasn't a sting i didn't get punched i didn't eat a new food so it had nothing to do with allergic i think i literally got bit by a bug that i didn't feel gdc gd gd gd gd gd they gooched eye contact you ever you ever been rubbing that that good old they go to snail trail oh and you rub dude one day oh dude the other day oh man can i be honest and vulnerable go for it yeah okay but y'all have to react don't be silent like because i was vulnerable earlier about my pp jumping and y'all all went quiet and it made it awkward so don't make it awkward as friends right as friends that was incredibly awkward and so like so i think god blessed me with genitalia because i use it as a stress ball like i genuinely like it's part of my anxiety i'll go in there just play yeah just i just i sit there juggling i'll just sit there and kind of pop it yeah you ever seen a dog you ever seen a dog scratch your ear too hard and they cry yeah that's me with my nuts like i'm too i'm there too long right i'll kind of get in a train yeah don't forget i'm doing it yeah i'll always be like it just happens yeah it's like i look down it's been half an hour right at that point you're just right you're trying to get to a finish line no no but i'm like it's a part of my anxiety like i need to rub something it's the texture it's all of that no no don't do that rub though don't do that no no if you're rubbing your balls like that yeah so i was on snail i don't know i don't know i was there on snail lane like i was getting it and so i was i was i got a little too far back right i was gonna get any stuff how much real estate is there you literally said yeah i'm sitting there wrong dude it's the wrong thing dude it's the wrong thing dude it's long are you on the nuts or the shaft i'm everywhere i'm all over it and so but then i stopped because and then i stopped because i was doom scrolling with the other hand right and then i was like oh i'm hungry i had a chipotle burrito and i picked it up you ever got that you ever had that contact right there you pull that you pull that you pull that contact point up there oh that make you look at things differently oh i jumped one time in my own smell yeah and i forgot i done makes you a man yours was immediate you said you finished you grabbed the burrito yeah i was sitting there going to scratch fest for like 10 minutes and i literally got back in the bed and i don't know what the i don't know what i did but i remember going what the is that yeah it was like oh and i was like oh that's me yeah that's myself yeah i kind of immediately felt more chest hair coming yeah yeah i like this i like to spread love around the house i'll go down to cj's room not give him a little whiff oh no no no oh my god my earlobes and keloids almost got to yours really oh my god i had my earrings on i had my earrings on i had my earrings on i had my earrings in for about a week straight this weekend in oklahoma i'm sitting there it was starting to hurt i said ah you're not yeah just like that i'm sitting there at the basketball i'm like hurting i go right here and i go oh i literally put my hands right here just watch her play again and i go oh yeah that's the that's the one of the worst bodily smells i could have no no no my keloids my keloids could kill your keloid could end someone's day oh what oh and the way you do it when you hit me with it you'll go like this you go he'll he'll play with his keloid yeah and his rusted metal earring and literally go like this yeah put in the clip from patreon it goes just like that oh my god put in the clip from patreon there's one of the funniest moments from a 10 minute talks join the patreon if you want to see it no that is he almost passed out during recording that is absolutely absolutely hilarious can i give an update real quick about what happened last week right it was viral on the internet everybody's seeing that our studio got broken into right everybody saw last week our studio got broken into live on camera if you haven't seen that go over to last week's episode episode 189 the you should know podcast yes sir this is the first time we've been back in the studio since that happened yes and so we've been in this office for about oh my god looking over there he looked over there and i was like no so come back into the office today right and i've i've been in this office for about four or five years right right something like that sure yeah yeah so i know a lot of the people that work here all the way from top management to the cooking staff to security i know a lot of them right and whenever i'm walking in i i i see some of them i always see the cooking lady yeah one of the she's sweetest lady ever she's so nice she's the best i walk in today right she goes oh my god are y'all okay yeah she said the same to me yeah and i said yes i'm fine she i was like it was crazy what happened wasn't it she goes yeah i saw it on the podcast and she was like do you know what happened and i said i said what she goes do you know what happened with those two people that tried to get into your studio and i said no ma'am what happened she goes they came into because there's a whole cafe here yeah they came into the cafe went up to the top chef here and said hey i need five dollars i was like what the does that mean they were asking for five dollars yeah i didn't hear this part and she goes yeah they came up to the top chef said hey we need five dollars and the top chef said i don't know who you are and i don't have five dollars for you and and then there was a second guy that that broke into the office second guy that comes in and he goes i need this five dollars i got a fundraiser going and he goes what the are you talking about and so then apparently they went from there to here right and then went back to them asking for more money so i guess they were coming in here to ask for money from us but then when they got here they got nervous they're asking to be on the podcast and then i think because we're in a weird situation here at this office like i'm not going to break down what the situation is but i think word got around about what happened because we're in a weird situation here at this office and we're because whenever i came into the building two security officers came up the escalators and followed me all the way to right here and then whenever i was coming into the sliding door there's like a another hallway adjacent another security guard comes out of there and he goes and i was like what the is going on so i don't know if you're walking you just see one of them he goes like this i don't know so and so my hey so and so made a higher up call and said what the you're walking through and you see a guy goes eagle headed to the nest yeah he's like eagle headed to the nest unlock the door in 20 seconds yeah so that's the update um also we're almost we're almost i think i think we're there on the new studio we're getting close found a spot getting close i love this place and god bless talk about the security measures we're gonna have but yeah that's the uh that's the that that was bro that was i tried to explain it to uh live and then i watched it because i was telling her this was all on camera she was like no it's not and i was like no while we were recording this happened she was like you're kidding and then she she finally watched it monday when it came out and she was like that's wild she was like what if it was someone like more scary oh yeah that's oh yeah that's a big part of it that's actually the trouble i was like no that's actually the kind of part it literally could have been anybody yeah it was wicked you should know podcast we just came back from a break and the craziest thing just happened to me and i oh no you when you're rubbing your chest something's happening oh my god he's rubbing his heart oh it's not my fault it's not my fault no it sounds like it's your fault already no it's your no the toilet didn't work no no no the toilet didn't work no no it's not my fault oh you're sweating out i'm not having a good time okay so if you don't know jingling is the most embarrassing thing that just happened to me if you don't know we work at a big corporate office building right right down the hallway there's a normal men's bathroom right and i had to pee pee okay okay i went there to go pee and the and the custodian she was in there and so she said no and she said no you can't and i said no and i really had to pee so downstairs under us there's individual bathrooms but they're in the main lobby where everybody can see you're going in there that's what i said and so and so i go down to the main lobby right and right in front of where the individual stalls are there is a big strong man with a ponytail and he was working on his laptop but he was facing the bathroom so he saw me going in there and i've never seen him before he doesn't belong to me he doesn't belong to me he doesn't belong older white gentlemen like if you steroids a lunchbox and a laptop and so i was walking in i don't like making eye contact going into the bathroom you hate that i hate don't i don't let people know what i'm going to be so i go in to the individual stall and i hear the toilet running you ever gone to a toilet that is just running like it's making a noise very loud but i had to pee pee okay I go in there and I pee and I pee a lot. no i pee so much yeah it's a lot of it's on peak right like really like relieving myself like i feel like i lost weight yeah and i had and so and i was rushing too because i was nervous because he saw me so i dribbled on the seat a little bit and i'm just being honest with what everything happened i'm shaking and so i went to flush and it was one of those things on the back where you tap it but it was loose and so i was going like this and it wasn't flushing it was so much pee and it was foamy nasty no no no no no no i swear to god this happened and so i'm hitting it and it didn't work it didn't work so i just left right i walk out and this guy's been sitting there he's been sitting the whole time if you have to pee you should have gone before me and so and so i well i'm walking out of the bathroom like like big eyes like i'm nervous and i lock eyes with big steroid muscle laptop guy he closes his laptop and he says excuse me and he goes right past and he goes in i hit the quickest speed walk of my life and like i said this is in the main lobby of a big building guys i am not lying to y'all he i hear the door close so i hit a quick little jog and back up again he go he yells bro he goes you didn't flush come on man no way across you know from the bathroom to where that escalator is yeah that's a long way it's a long haul you didn't flush and everyone goes like this and you just go you start tapping they're having like some corporate meeting and there's so many people down there but it's like looking at me like i'm nasty pee pee guys nasty foamy asparagus dark yellow brown piss boy oh no and instead of lying or like covering for myself i just like it didn't work you go mind your own trend oh i jogged up here bro oh my god i'm not going to the lobby i'm not going back there and if we see that guy we can't go home tonight oh oh i literally was like there's no way that's just that loud he's got to get it escorted out you can't scream here there's no way i am i've never used like that was the roids talking and you've never seen oh he roid rage he was he went in there he saw pissing he was like flush that was one of those that was one of those pisses that are hot oh my god do you ever have a piss jump in the toilet like foamy oh it looks like a beer oh i've had no i've had beer piss beer piss that's with beer piss oh and all i've had was coffee today so there's a little tang a little cocoa bean that little cocoa oh my god a little caramel syrup you could you could you can wash your windows with those in that toilet okay you can clean a carpet oh my god oh boy oh my god okay saw a um i was on twitter and i saw a news headline from january of this year so it's a little dated but it was unbelievable okay i have to read this i took a screenshot of it i have to read this read it to me this simply reads woman arrested in florida for trafficking meth now wait a second nice despite carrying a tote bag that had the words definitely not a bag full of drugs on the side of it is that real it was on latin times a woman no like like new york times it was the news i said latin times florida i don't know maybe it's real south florida i don't know but that's more jamaican times i don't know dude but speaking of that speaking of what no keep going oh the boom boom sick what you haven't seen those no i'm not on jamaica tiktok prayers to jamaica prayers to jamaica there's a category five hurricane currently like prayers to jamaica prayers to jamaica but there's there's literally you haven't seen a single one no no there's so many there's so many videos of jamaican guys literally in like flooded cities we're having the time no no well i'm glad they can make good out of it they're making good out of a very dark situation but they're literally like this one guy watched it looked like a cloud like exploded like there was a huge amount of water that was coming and he literally is going boom and then he jumps off of an apartment building into a flooded street you shouldn't jump into flood water i heard a lot of diseases in there a lot of diseases and there might be a car you might land on a prius you go headfirst into a civic that hurts you're gonna break some fingers genuine thought i've had and i'm i'm sorry for interrupting you genuine thought you're gonna break your fingers genuine thought i've had yeah it is very hard for me and i think this is a disorder genuinely like i'm not joking it's genuinely hard for me i'm so worried about what you're about to say it's hard for me to fathom like other countries exist and it's a i you know it's like i know no listen listen like i it's hard for me to like across the pond that there's things like very much so like right now it is impossible oh that's gonna hurt oh your knuckle hurts oh my god your knuckle check let me check if that works yep right now it is hard for me to believe there is a whole civilization and a life happening in sweden right now oh there's there's yeah sweden's a good life too that's pretty solid maybe for you what the fuck what it's 2025 you do fine does that not boggle your mind that no right now people have families in cairo egypt nuts no i mean life like that's i think that's a thing like it makes me really have anxiety and that's why i think you need to travel you're a sheltered little girl you're like oh it's just us it's us in the world and i might have gone go look at the taj mahal go touch the great wall but i think that spread your wings and fly i might have got bit by the propaganda bug like the soaring eagle what does it sound like exactly i might got bit by the propaganda bug and i'm not saying like america that's all we got i but i cannot believe right now that mount everest is a real thing it is so hard for me to believe that that's so weird it's so weird bro so so like right now somebody's smoking a cig in italy on like in a cafe and they look to the right in the eiffel tower right there okay so look so did you oh no we are not letting that slide yeah all of that's been confusing that little boot over there it's been real confusing for a long time but that's that's not even close like italy and no relative for fights right yeah you're not gonna smoke a cig in rome and look at the whole eiffel tower i didn't say rome i said italy wow right wow so did you believe that the hollywood sign was actually yes yes before you ever went there yes and i don't know why in america that's fine oh my god no you're you would think i have a red hat on right now and it's not like that and it's genuinely not i don't think i'm not saying we're better or nothing like that i can't but i believe things are happening in mexico i believe things are happening in canada because they touch us exactly no it's so hard but i'm not trying to be hateful i can't imagine the air over there what does it smell like not saying like does it smell good does my candy what does it smell like probably smells better than south alice if i'm being honest improbable what does that smell like does that not intrigue you and that's why i want to go see it but it gives me do you want to go see it and you go no it's propaganda money rules the world they want your tourism dollars no i don't want to go to the museums i don't want to do that and you know where this came from you know where this came from there's a guy on tiktok and he grew up in texas where i'm from yeah he's lived in sweden for three years i say how the is that possible because he went and did it but how do you do that like how do you know when you get there there's things there to do there's things like does that give you anxiety no you are you're you're a fascinating brain you are a marvel though you can look up anything right here yes but that's the digital world that to me to me that's that's that's not the digital way that's a board ape to me that's cryptocurrency seeing like the taj mahal on my phone is not real life tangible to me i can't touch it i can't smell it what does it smell like what that's not the digital world they're taking pictures of the real world yes and but have you ever okay so you're really telling me if you got on a plane to tokyo you're not sure if we're gonna land then it's tokyo or if it's a barren wasteland that's what i mean it's weird what's so different between tokyo and sweden and italy and france because to me to and to me like do they have skyscrapers in sweden maybe that's the thing i think - I think it's the open greenery. - Oh my God, so if a place is too green. - It's fallacy to me. It's so crazy that you can, I don't know what it is, but this has been a deep thing for me. Like genuinely. - Dude, someone needs to like drop you off with like a backpack and like a change of clothes. - I don't think I'd make the flight. I have too much anxiety. - But what is it from? Like, try to break it down. Why does that scare you? - I don't know, but I wanted to present it to you as a friend, as a brother. So if there's big buildings, safe everything's good. - Not necessarily, because Dubai to me is like that. 'Cause Dubai has big buildings, right? The biggest. - Yes, the biggest. - The largest. - The largest. It's a tall. - Yes, so Dubai scares you too. - But to me, Dubai is like AI. Because it's so nice, it seems. Maseratis, Lamborghinis, Ferraris. - Yeah, you could literally take your Rolex and your chains off and set them on the ground, go buy a coffee 20 minutes away, come back, they'd still be there. - Exactly. - I don't under, I can't, you need to break it down. - I don't know, I can't. That's all I got. - But why are you afraid of it? - That's all I got. I don't want to spend too much time on it. That's all I got. - You can't just end it like that. - I was coming to present something to you as a friend, but we're not going to figure it out if you keep asking me questions. I've given you everything I got, right? I've been as vulnerable and as honest as I can be on this broadcast, and that's all I got for you, all right? That's all I have. Ask me another question, I'm going back to the urinal. He goes, "There he is!" Everyone, there's people that I'm saying, there's the torches and pitchforks. - Yeah. - Bro, oh my God, yeah, you are a fascinating creature. - I just, I genuinely, it's been a deep concern in my body for a long time. - Talked about this on the weekend, wanted to bring it to your attention. - Okay. - How, okay, how soon is too soon to bring a significant other to like a holiday? - Oh, good, I. - We're coming up. We're getting close to it. - Holidays are coming up. - Yeah. - We're getting close to it. - Yeah. - Yeah, we're getting close to it. - This time, genuinely might be crazier than anything you've ever said. - No, sir. No, sir, because my whole front row at my wedding is gonna be my exes. - Okay. That, I would literally require your wife to go. - No, no, I would ask her. We already talked about this. I would tell her, hey, can I invite so-and-so? - You can invite your exes or not. They're not sitting in the family row. But regardless, there's definitely a time. - No, they're family to me. So there's no minimum time that you have to court this woman before she gets to meet the people that A, created you, siblings that will be here your entire lifespan, and other people that you hold near and dear. - I think the sooner the better. - You are out of your mind. - Dude, in my current situation, so say I just met my girl last week, and Thanksgiving was coming in two days. She's coming, and she's coming with her nice pecan pie. - You're bringing a new girlfriend of a week. To Thanksgiving, and she's gonna bring a pie. - Yes, Cam, okay, my thing, dude, it depends on your feeling with this person, right? I feel like if you're gonna be with somebody for a long time, you know in the first four hours. - No, no, oh no. - There's no shot you don't know. - No, your heart's jaded. Oh my God, oh my God, your heart's jaded. You have been destroyed. - I think if you wait a long time, it's because you're insecure about yourself. It's an internal battle. - No, it's not. It's trying to make sure-- - I don't have commitment issues. - First off, that has nothing to do with commitment issues. - Yes, because I-- - You're trying to not look like a goofball in front of your family. If you've known a girl for a week, you bring her in, and then the next week, she cheats on you. Hey, mom and pop, the girl you had a crown and coke with and had that pecan pie that she bought from Kroger? Yeah, she broke my heart. - Yeah, but that's not my fault. See, I can't be responsible for another person's actions. I can only go off what I feel, right? Dude, I've had drunk nights in the club where I'm like, you are going to meet my dog tonight. Right? You are going to touch my dog's scalp tonight, right? That's fine. That's not you're going to meet my mother. - I've brought girls up to my section in a club and FaceTimed my mom. I've been like, this is, what's your name? But I felt something. - That you can feel all you want when it comes to in-person interactions. First off, first off, the fact that you said a week is crazy enough. Okay, let's go with that. What do you think your mom would say if you say, hey, mom, this girl's hanging out, been about, I don't know, eight days. She's coming to Thanksgiving. - Well, first of all, it's not her business how long I've known her. It's not my mom's business. - Okay. - She trusts me as my son. She trusts me as her son that I bring her value, right? - Okay. - So she knows if I'm bringing somebody around, I find value in this person, right? - Short-term value. And you don't know about them in a week? - In a week? What are you playing? Would you play 21 questions with the chick? What are you, oh, favorite color's blue. She's a nurse. Oh, that's it. Here she is, mom. Oh yeah, no, no, no. We sit opposite at the Thanksgiving. You don't know anything about her. You know nothing about this woman. - What if it was the best week of my life? - Oh, that's so sad. That's so sad. - So, okay, that's different. Your situation's different because you didn't like Liv when you first met her. - Yeah, that's true. And that's fine. - Exactly. But if I meet a girl and I love her, right? In a week, I can love you in a week. - If? - You show me all the values of if you love somebody in a week. - You're going, whoo, whoo, whoo. - What is that? - You're a love bombing, you are a love bombing expert. - No, how is that love bombing? - You can love someone in a week? - Yes. - Oh dearly beloved Peyton Stephen-Hart. - Yes, and I want you to share this ham with me. My mom makes a mean yam. - Okay, do you at least tell your family? Do you tell your family? - No. - No. No, it's not their, I'm 26. - You are-- - My family's small, I got like four people. - First of all, yeah, it'd be a tiny Thanksgiving, but that's fine. Your mom, I want you to think about what you just said. If you show up to your mother's front door with a woman she hasn't heard about, never seen, and then it comes to fruition that you have known her for eight days, your mom is going to literally slap you and get her to get out of the house. - I think I come from a warm home. I think I come from a warm home. - I take that back. Your mom is extremely warm and nice. She would let her sit down-- - My mom didn't know you. - And then the second she leaves, she didn't know me when. Whenever we came together, but she let me live with you. Whenever we met in college. - She didn't have a choice. You were coming to school to hoop, and I was your roommate. - Dude, okay, but I'm saying, like, look, I-- - And we weren't born, and then you didn't love me. - I don't, I'm grown, right? I'm not a high schooler. High school kids might have different, 'cause their parents still have say-so in their life. I'm fully independent, right? I've worked hard to have my independence, right? And so if I meet a girl in one week, the week before Thanksgiving, right? And I'm like, "Hey, I want you to meet "my family, I love you. "Hey, mama, I love you." - That is, that is wicked work. - It's not my business to call my mom and be like, "Hey, I met this girl a week ago. "She's coming to the house." - So someone-- - That's not her, I'm just bringing her. - Okay, yeah, okay, so let's keep playing. Devil's advocate, right? So someone that you've known for eight days versus someone you've known your entire existence, okay? So you think the eight-day girl, the eight-day girl, you don't love her, you don't. - You can't tell me what I love. - You might think you do, you don't love her. - I love-- - What's her middle name? You have no clue. - Well, I barely know yours. - What high school did she go to? You have no clue. How many siblings? No clue. - So you gotta know somebody's high school in order to love them? That's the rule of love? What high school they went to? I can't even tell you, I don't know. I don't even know what high school that Pierce went to. - That's not true, that's not true, that's not true. I was about to say, you could literally, I absolutely, that's a weird parameter, but I guarantee any person you loved, you've known what high school they went to. That's true, yes it is. - Currently I don't. - Yes you do. Yes you do. - How the fuck are you gonna tell me? How are you gonna tell me? - She said it numerous times, I know. - Wait, noise, in and out. - You go in one, out the other. You go in here, out there, what's on the plate? - Keep going, keep going. - You're not gonna tell your mom, 'cause this is her Thanksgiving at her home, right? You wanna play the big boy, big boy, big, I'm a grown man, independent, work hard, okay? So that's not your house anymore, right? - Yeah. - That's your mother's home. - Right. - And you're gonna disrespect your mother's home by bringing a, listen to this one, eyes up, eyes up here, eyes up here, stranger to her house. - That's unfair. To gauge my love, no one can say how in love I am. If I genuinely feel in my heart to heart, I love this person, yeah, I'm bringing her. - That's fine, I'm not taking that away from you. - That's what the whole thing is though. Eight days is crazy. - To you, brother, you have all these walls and boundaries and gates and built the wall of my heart. I'm not, I have open borders. - If you meet someone on the 17th of December and they're unwrapped, they're wrapping next to you on the 25th. - Yes. - In matching pajamas, sipping cocoa. That is actually wild. - No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it is not. - Yes, it is, yes, it is, yes, it is. That is crazy. - To you, to you, what's the difference between me meeting a girl at the club, we have coitus that night, now we have a kid. So we're together, we're together for 18 years, right? And people have stayed together their whole lives from that. - That's fine, and guess what? - And they definitely didn't know each other. - Exactly. - Oh my God, you wanna know something that's gonna seal your case? I guarantee it takes longer than eight days for her to find out she's pregnant. - Exactly. So, but they would've been-- - Exactly, you're doing it even less than that. - But they stayed together in those eight days, didn't they? - Probably not. - You just said they did. - No, I said it took her longer than eight days to find out she was pregnant. The guy probably woke up and said, "Get out!" Or the girl said, "Get out." - But I'm not, you can't put up with that. other people's bad juju on me i'm respectful i love you i love you i i love you no i love you oh my god no no i love you no cj cj how many times have we been to a 7-eleven and the girl in the non-slip shoes has been back there back in my single days there's been a girl with non-slip shoes behind there and i've seen those non-slip shoes and that dark hair and pretty features and i go i love you how many times i've done that a lot yeah right next to the toaster and i would brought her home yeah and she goes sir you're two dollars short like i appreciate the compliment you don't have enough quarters and i'd be like well my love has no value oh my god that's no no the timeline's crazy i the i think the craziest is the fact you said you're not telling them that genuinely it's not their business no no no it's not the business no you trust me as a kid no it's their meal in their house their son this is how it closes this you know why stranger in their home if they get mad they don't if if they don't trust me they don't believe in themselves this parent she has a switchblade pocket she goes for your grandma you don't know her oh grandma's been gone you have two grandmas right so look look look look if they get mad at me for not telling them they don't trust themselves as parents let me break down the science please do tyra banks please do dr phil so they spent their whole lives right their whole adult lives raising me as a man right values structure everything that is implemented in me has come from my parents so they let me out into the free world and they were satisfied i i believe in my son for what i've instilled in him that is a good man yep i trust that man so now when i'm out in that free world they you gotta trust me you you let me out of the nest trusting me now when i make an action as a free man in this world you have to trust me now if they don't then that's just a reflection on the truth so i'm not going to trust them i'm not going to trust them i'm not going to trust them themselves they didn't believe in me okay jk rolling you thought you wrote a novel right there and there's parts that i can agree to right but the biggest thing is they're not trusting they're not not trusting you they're not not trusting the stranger and that's racism because because why would you not just just by looking at somebody you don't trust them i know pierce and k-rob do that they're like are you too dark i don't i i am not that way that's i don't i don't i don't profile people i am not prejudiced it has no i don't see somebody go oh no maybe y'all do when y'all walk down certain streets not me it has nothing to do with skin color it has to do with respect what if they say oh hey ma'am respectful no one tips their hat anymore what if they tip their hat ultimate respect they take off their shoes tip their hats thieves back in the 1800s oh yep tootly doo it's a thank you for the coin well i don't date murderers so i don't know yeah well guess what you wouldn't know because you don't know the broad well i don't date murderers so i don't know well guess what you wouldn't know because you don't know if live if live meets a fr i'm never introducing a girl to y'all ever if live bumps shoulders with a woman in target and brings her home and says oh there's my new friend i met at target she's done that step out of my house she's done that who she's uh on bubble friends uh no no she she didn't know them never met him and she never did she never went she never went to a single meetup she never did that that is that is that not equally as crazy no you you just oh you how are you supposed to develop a relationship and cam this is because the girl is the voldemort you i you you didn't know her but i brought you around in the first two days i want you to say what you just said again you brought me around her and because he calls you to not call your daddy what yes but you brought your dad to the situation hey dad come on oh my god my parents met her too in the first in the first so-and-so they were at the live show yes they were at the show at a public event not a s a sanctuary of a meal thanksgiving well in the car they're home in the comments let us know what you think because because i think i'm coming from an open open hearted loving inclusive environment cam definitely had to check your records for you to go no no has nothing to do with your skin color who you are cam definitely had to check your 23 in me he had to check your 23 in me before you got now he's a nuts two percent too much yeah i know i go 13 percent hell no i'm just kidding no no no no all right no good god please leave in the comments because that is absolutely ridiculous and there's no way around it but we absolutely love y'all thank you for coming back episode 190 you should know podcast if you look in that description below that top link right there that is going to bring you to the koala patreon that is our patreon and that is where all the exclusivity lies there's all sorts of bonus shows there's whole different segments there's extendos there's everything there's vlogs there's games there's live streams all of it is right there go check out our patreon top link in the description we love you this week's secret code to confuse the casuals and get your good car toys cam w w t t s what's that smell that's kind of good but no wins too soon wins too soon put your thoughts in the comments below i'm reading every single comment because if if they're i oh oh yeah just get your good karma confusing and on audio if you're listening put your comments wins too soon because there there is a date all right guys we love you remember one i took all bears i'm going home to christmas and we will see you next time yeah no don't open the door she's not getting in yeah maybe next year how much is too much take the pie this game take the pie coca-cola for the big coca-cola for the big 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